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Love Is Blind: Yoruba Demon Edition
17 Plays2 years ago
Savannah's sister joins the pod to recap LIB After the Altar...all the post-show drama with SK, Brennan, and the red flags we missed.
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Transcript
Introduction and Lara's Return
00:00:10
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:11
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:15
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:00:16
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
00:00:18
Speaker
And back by very unpopular demand, it is Lara.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hi, everyone.
00:00:25
Speaker
Shade.
00:00:36
Speaker
I mean, there was a reason why she's back, which we'll get into later on in the episode.
00:00:40
Speaker
Once we get to the juicier meat of the episode.
00:00:43
Speaker
We need our very special expertise on a special subject.
00:00:49
Speaker
You're about demons.
00:00:49
Speaker
Anyway, so today's episode, we'll be talking about Love is Blind after the altar.
Revelations from 'Love is Blind'
00:00:56
Speaker
And everything that's happened since then.
00:00:58
Speaker
I honestly feel like the social media has been more popping than the actual show in terms of tea and revelations about the cast members.
00:01:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:09
Speaker
So I found out from sleuthing that after the altar was actually filmed before the reunion.
00:01:14
Speaker
So a lot of like, this makes no sense.
00:01:17
Speaker
Exactly.
00:01:18
Speaker
So like that kind of makes a lot of the juicy details that happened off of the show.
00:01:23
Speaker
They didn't make it onto the show because like a lot of the stuff was discovered after the reunion.
00:01:29
Speaker
So I don't know why they would film after the reunion when they filmed the reunion afterwards.
00:01:33
Speaker
But yeah.
00:01:34
Speaker
So like, yeah, there's a lot of details about what happened with Brennan and SK, which we'll get into.
00:01:40
Speaker
And I think in general, I think it's a good, since this fallout that's happened, it's good for us to, you know, flex our hindsight muscles and see like if there were...
00:01:50
Speaker
Things we should have paid more attention to with
Brennan's Arrest and Casting Concerns
00:01:52
Speaker
watching the show.
00:01:52
Speaker
Granted, this is reality TV show, so they cut it and show it a certain way and script it a certain way.
00:01:57
Speaker
So like they look a certain way.
00:01:59
Speaker
But I feel like there might have been some tells between Brennan and SK, you know, and the rest of the cast members that like maybe we could have picked up on that would have predicted the fallout.
00:02:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:12
Speaker
Okay, so should we take Brennan and Alexa first, the so-called success story of the season?
00:02:18
Speaker
Because there's always one couple who seems to be a success story, and then you just find out the rats in the cupboard after the fact.
00:02:25
Speaker
So, obviously, the bigger one, I guess, if you're not fully aware, is that shortly after the main series aired, a police report came out on the internet that alleged that Brennan...
00:02:39
Speaker
had basically been arrested for domestic violence about three months before the show.
00:02:44
Speaker
Oh, that recently?
00:02:45
Speaker
Yeah, it was quite, it was like three months before the show, which was concerning because even though there wasn't a charge like, you know, levelled, but I do think, you know, due to basic safeguarding, that should have really taken him out of the running, personally.
Brennan's Behavior and Relationship Dynamics
00:02:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:59
Speaker
And what it's described as is that he gets in an argument with this girl.
00:03:05
Speaker
I guess they were out at a bar as a woman he was allegedly dating, grabs her by the arm and like shoves her under the wall.
00:03:10
Speaker
So it's pretty serious.
00:03:12
Speaker
Yeah, and I think it was her mum who filed the report.
00:03:15
Speaker
So that came about.
00:03:17
Speaker
And then obviously there was that whole drama around Brennan, you know, trying to fit into Alexa's life.
00:03:21
Speaker
Her family are, you know, very rich, quite Jewish, and, you know, how they were going to navigate that as well.
00:03:28
Speaker
Then there was the axis that Brennan was almost like Alexa's attack dog, where if she disliked somebody, he would just be yapping at their heels as well.
00:03:35
Speaker
And that really annoyed me during the reunion a lot as well.
00:03:39
Speaker
Like...
00:03:39
Speaker
just basically turning the screw on people like Cole when it's like, dude, you've been arrested for DV.
00:03:46
Speaker
And at this point, you knew you'd been arrested for DV.
00:03:48
Speaker
It was such a pointless, like, such pointless beef.
00:03:52
Speaker
Like, right, I'm going to be annoyed at you because my wife doesn't like you because her friend doesn't like you.
Cole's Behavior at the Reunion
00:03:59
Speaker
Like, it's just like, how old are you?
00:04:01
Speaker
Like...
00:04:05
Speaker
I get that vibe from Brennan.
00:04:06
Speaker
Like he just seems like Alexa's attack dog.
00:04:09
Speaker
And it's like, he didn't seem to have any outward issue with any of the cast members until Alexa has an issue.
00:04:17
Speaker
It made it seem like he was mad because he felt like Cole was bullying Zeneb for her weight.
00:04:23
Speaker
And that's the narrative that Zeneb was spinning, that Cole was allegedly bullying her for her weight.
00:04:28
Speaker
Oh, with the QE scene.
00:04:30
Speaker
There's a scene in After the Altar where Brendan pulls Cole aside and basically kind of explains his beef with him.
00:04:35
Speaker
Like, oh, we don't like the way you treated Zeneb and bullying her for her weight and everything.
00:04:40
Speaker
And Cole is just like, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:04:43
Speaker
Cole seems really clueless.
00:04:45
Speaker
So I think...
00:04:47
Speaker
I don't know, man.
00:04:47
Speaker
Like, it's like on one hand, I'm like, I love when my significant other backs me up even when I'm dead ass wrong.
00:04:53
Speaker
But at the same time, like, I think in light of like the DV charges, like it's a little bit concerning.
00:04:59
Speaker
Like, is he just like a hothead, you know, like a person who will...
00:05:03
Speaker
you know, just turn on a dime, you know, without like a certain level head to assess the situation.
00:05:08
Speaker
That's what's concerning to me.
00:05:10
Speaker
And I thought it was like quite unnecessary given that there were enough people who didn't like Cole and for the same reason.
00:05:16
Speaker
And I wish that perhaps that there would, maybe Brennan could have been that one person who was trying to perhaps focus on some of the things that Cole did to try and be a better person or try to bridge the gap as opposed to like
00:05:29
Speaker
make it more uncomfortable for Cole to be around in
Editing and Perception of Cole
00:05:33
Speaker
that space.
00:05:33
Speaker
Because after the altar, Alexa's party, Cole was just by himself drinking like a lot of the time.
00:05:39
Speaker
And I'm just sort of bumbling around trying to find a tribe and no one was really letting him in.
00:05:45
Speaker
And it was just very odd.
00:05:46
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what it is about Cole that like pisses them off so much.
00:05:50
Speaker
Like, I mean, he says things that are like, I want to like address this because some people thought like I was defending him and Mike Bartiz.
00:05:56
Speaker
I'm like kind of low-key defending myself at their same age.
00:05:59
Speaker
Like I had diarrhea in the mouth like that.
00:06:00
Speaker
And I didn't even like, I was not...
00:06:02
Speaker
really trying to hurt people's feelings like legit so like when i see that i sometimes feel like yeah he's immature he doesn't seem like he takes himself seriously so he seems like he's surprised when other people are like i actually hurt by the things he says right he doesn't get it he's sort of just like i was saying to lara before the call like he reminds me of like one of those like i mean the american equivalent would be like a jock but
00:06:25
Speaker
Those guys in sports societies at university who go out and get raved, and when they're friends, they're an absolute dick, but when they're on their own, they're actually quite a nice person or they're more bearable.
00:06:35
Speaker
That's what Cole sort of reminds me of.
00:06:38
Speaker
And I think that it seems like he lacked tact and diplomacy, but I didn't get the impression that he was doing it out of malice, like some of the other men on the series were.
00:06:49
Speaker
They were behaving maliciously towards their partner.
00:06:52
Speaker
I didn't get that impression from him.
00:06:54
Speaker
It's not the same as like what SK apparently did to Raven.
00:06:57
Speaker
And what Bartise was saying to Nancy about other women and the way Matt was behaving towards Killeen.
00:07:02
Speaker
Like, and I suppose it's an indictment on the show when Cole seems to be, you know, taking into account Brennan's, you know, DV arrest seems to be the least problematic on the show.
00:07:14
Speaker
That just goes to show just how low value the series is, to be honest.
00:07:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:20
Speaker
So,
Zenab's Reactions and Insecurities
00:07:21
Speaker
yeah.
00:07:21
Speaker
And I did feel like at the reunion, Cole got an awful, awful edit.
00:07:25
Speaker
It was totally unfair just how they somehow managed to turn the screw entirely on him.
00:07:32
Speaker
When, again, there were men there who were more problematic, Bartise.
00:07:38
Speaker
there was Matt I mean SK we didn't know at the time but even SK to his defense he was the only one who didn't seem to join in on the pylon and he was trying to console Cole he was the only one that did that but the rest just piled in SK slightly started to come across as a bit like holier than thou like oh look at me I'm Jesus Christ like and it was all you know all was revealed wasn't it at the end
00:08:02
Speaker
I also think that they didn't go in as hard on the other guys because the women held back except for either they didn't air it or the women were not nearly as like vindictive as like Zenip was.
00:08:12
Speaker
Like Zenip was legitimately scorched earth pissed at Cole.
00:08:16
Speaker
Yeah, she was hot.
00:08:17
Speaker
Which I have to say like 80% of it is like her insecurity issues that like it's Cole's a dick and he said things that were horrible.
00:08:25
Speaker
But at the same time, it's like I'm like you met this guy.
00:08:28
Speaker
like eight weeks ago, he shouldn't be able to like destroy your self-esteem.
00:08:31
Speaker
Like the previous she used, like this guy basically like turned her entire life upside down.
00:08:36
Speaker
I'm like, there's no way you have not known this person long enough for that to be the case.
00:08:41
Speaker
It's like, she didn't take any ownership of like her own,
00:08:44
Speaker
feelings and like working on her own feelings you know it was great to hear that she was in therapy but it was almost like everything she'd experienced in her life before the show cole somehow through his like dance way of approaching things and how you know and how like stupidly he talks
00:09:02
Speaker
managed to just embody all of the things that she might have ever felt that have been said in Malice and have said to attack her by everyone in her life previously before that.
00:09:11
Speaker
And it was like, right, I'm taking this out on you.
00:09:14
Speaker
No, totally.
00:09:15
Speaker
And I actually think that would be the same thing with like Alexa.
00:09:18
Speaker
Like, I feel like they've been rejected by guys like Cole before.
00:09:21
Speaker
And it's just like...
00:09:22
Speaker
that kind of nastiness built up.
00:09:24
Speaker
I mean, he's gone on record and said, like, he was very attracted to Zenib and, like, he never had a problem with her weight per se.
00:09:30
Speaker
Like, but again, like, drinking and the diarrhea of the mouth, you know?
00:09:33
Speaker
I didn't get the issue with the weight.
00:09:35
Speaker
I didn't understand that.
00:09:36
Speaker
I didn't know Zenib had an
Brennan's Hostility and Protective Nature
00:09:38
Speaker
issue with her weight.
00:09:38
Speaker
Like, she's even, okay, she's not as slim as Colleen, but she's still very, very, very, very slim.
00:09:45
Speaker
Like, I don't know what the issue with her weight even was.
00:09:49
Speaker
What I didn't understand was the cutie situation, because from what the edit at the end suggested, it suggested that Cole even went as far as saying, are you sure that's going to be enough?
00:10:00
Speaker
Do you want to eat more?
00:10:01
Speaker
Like it wasn't, I didn't get the impression.
00:10:03
Speaker
I understand this was edited, but I didn't get the impression that Cole was trying to say, you eat too much.
00:10:09
Speaker
That's why you're the size you are.
00:10:10
Speaker
Like in the way that like Zenab was portraying that comment, I thought it was just taken wildly out of context.
00:10:18
Speaker
No, I mean, no, for sure.
00:10:18
Speaker
Because like even her mother, when they did the house visit to visit Zanab's stepmother, like she even admitted that sometimes Zanab goes off the rails when she feels rejected, like subtly and nicely.
00:10:32
Speaker
Because Cole's family didn't want to meet Zanab.
00:10:34
Speaker
And then like Zanab's stepmom was like, you know, stuff like that.
00:10:37
Speaker
She'll take it personally.
00:10:38
Speaker
She'll be like, oh, do they not want to meet me because I'm brown and etc.
00:10:41
Speaker
Like she has like
00:10:42
Speaker
you know, she takes little bits of rejection because her self-esteem is quite fragile and then like extrapolates it to extremes.
00:10:49
Speaker
Right.
00:10:49
Speaker
And then that causes her to like hype herself up so much that she like lashes out and gets angry.
00:10:53
Speaker
It's not that like, it's not that Cole's not a douchebag and some people felt like we were trying to go like easy on him, but it's just like what Zeneb's issue is, is not like Cole is just one of many guys that's going to, she's going to be like, that's going to bring that out if she doesn't work on herself for that.
00:11:07
Speaker
And it's more like to,
00:11:08
Speaker
hopefully help her go through her trauma because like when i think of like cruel sadistic horrible partners cole is like light work so i'm like you can't handle cole and to be honest like there's way worse guys out there so like he's just kind of a dummy with like occasionally foot and mouth syndrome but he's not like overly he's not manipulative like sk or like malicious like and vindictive like brennan oh i'm bartiz bartiz is manipulative too yeah or vindictive or malicious like brennan so i'm like
00:11:36
Speaker
I mean, just look at comparatively, like the other guys got off easy considering like how much worse they are as people than Cole is.
00:11:43
Speaker
And you're looking at Cole getting the worst of it because Zenep reacted the worst, even though like I don't think Cole was nearly as bad as some of the other guys, clearly.
Nancy and Bartise: Family and Boundaries
00:11:51
Speaker
Right.
00:11:52
Speaker
No, but I definitely feel he shouldn't have been on the show.
00:11:54
Speaker
Like he didn't seem to get the premise of it.
00:11:56
Speaker
Like, love is blind.
00:11:57
Speaker
So commenting on looks and what you dated before, like, why would you come out with that stuff?
00:12:02
Speaker
And also, who the hell, like, who are you trying to date here?
00:12:05
Speaker
He couldn't make out whether he wanted to date, like, prom queen, like, someone new or his mom.
00:12:12
Speaker
Like, it was just really, like, why are you here?
00:12:14
Speaker
I just didn't get it from Cole.
00:12:16
Speaker
This is why I could never do reality TV show, because I know I would have one drink and be telling, like, everything.
00:12:24
Speaker
They were drinking at the pool all day.
00:12:26
Speaker
And he said, like, he said he thought Colleen was hot.
00:12:28
Speaker
And I'm like, I probably would have said that shit.
00:12:30
Speaker
Like, if I thought someone else was hot.
00:12:31
Speaker
Not even to be mean, but just be like, oh, I think you're hot.
00:12:34
Speaker
Like, but I don't know.
00:12:36
Speaker
It's hard because, like, I'm not defending him.
00:12:37
Speaker
I'm low-key defending myself and my behavior through this guy.
00:12:41
Speaker
It's because I feel like...
00:12:44
Speaker
I feel like it's totally understandable if you've been drinking and like you know you're in a vacation spot to like to say your true feelings which I guess clearly are hurtful is hurtful to people sometimes yeah so moving on that wait we basically segwayed from Brennan and Alexa quite nicely to Collins and Ab so Bartice and Nancy I have to say though Nancy's brother was like the star of the show for me he reminded me of Steven when he was
00:13:13
Speaker
It was like, you brought us what I do.
00:13:15
Speaker
It's a fucking time.
00:13:19
Speaker
I loved her brothers.
00:13:21
Speaker
They were just like, they were the stars of the show for me.
00:13:23
Speaker
Because I would be pissed.
00:13:25
Speaker
Waste my motherfucking time.
00:13:30
Speaker
With that squint of, I want to kill you, but I can't.
00:13:34
Speaker
And then when he kept saying, I told you, I was so, but it's like, and he kept saying, I didn't want to be right.
00:13:39
Speaker
I was like, but you're secretly glad that you're right.
00:13:41
Speaker
I didn't want to be right.
00:13:42
Speaker
I didn't want to be right.
00:13:43
Speaker
But you're secretly glad that you're right.
00:13:46
Speaker
I knew this guy wasn't no good.
00:13:51
Speaker
Oh, Bartisa and Nancy.
00:13:52
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:13:53
Speaker
Where'd we even like, oh gosh, that was another mess as well.
00:13:57
Speaker
So I'm defending Nancy for like telling her family to go away because as a person who has like very overbearing family like that, they make every situation worse.
00:14:05
Speaker
So there are some people that were criticizing Nancy for being like dismissive of her family to like talk to Bartice.
00:14:10
Speaker
But like you have a family like Nancy's, which I have.
00:14:13
Speaker
Experience has taught you that if you don't get them out of the situation, they'll escalate it way beyond like what's healthy for everyone there.
00:14:20
Speaker
But I do feel like Nancy, like she, like, I totally understand that.
00:14:24
Speaker
And I could see how, like, I can see that they could be overbearing.
00:14:27
Speaker
But what we saw, like in the, after the altar was actually the family, especially the mother, actually, no, the mother was quite overbearing.
00:14:35
Speaker
I was quite surprised that the brother was quite calm, like was a lot calmer than he was at the wedding.
00:14:40
Speaker
And I think it's because Bartiz wasn't there and he genuinely cares for his sister.
00:14:44
Speaker
But Nancy is clearly someone who gets taken for a mug.
00:14:48
Speaker
Because, okay, this guy just leaves you at the altar in front of your family.
00:14:52
Speaker
And it was so unnecessary.
00:14:53
Speaker
And then you continue to be friends with him.
00:14:55
Speaker
Why?
00:14:56
Speaker
Bartiz doesn't want to be a bad guy.
00:14:58
Speaker
I think what happens, because what she says is that basically he wants to still be friends and like maybe rekindle things, but then...
00:15:05
Speaker
she saw on like his Instagram or something, like him hanging out with other girls or whatever.
00:15:09
Speaker
And that's like what prompted her to be like, what the heck, it's over.
00:15:12
Speaker
So I'm thinking like he thought like, oh, let's just be friends and then think anything of it.
00:15:16
Speaker
Like as far as that it might be emotionally hurtful for someone who was really in love with you for to see you just like outliving your life after you were allegedly engaged to be married.
00:15:25
Speaker
So I think Nancy was right to put the boundary and should have put the boundary in place because like
00:15:30
Speaker
I don't think she realized like how disingenuous Bartice was being right because he just doesn't want to be a bad guy so I feel like he just sort of he's trying to let her down but like not be the bad guy yeah yeah and so then she's like keeping hope alive in a way that she shouldn't yeah yeah and then just that whole like almost fixation on Raven was just really uncomfortable to watch
00:15:52
Speaker
Yeah, that was wild.
00:15:53
Speaker
Like, because Raven was like, I think Raven Thawne was like, eh.
00:15:56
Speaker
Like, he was so... And even, like, Raven was like, at one point, love is blind.
00:16:02
Speaker
He was like, you know, me and you walking into a club, like, people were looking at us.
00:16:06
Speaker
And she was like, love is blind.
00:16:07
Speaker
Like, that's, like,
00:16:08
Speaker
Reminding him why they were there.
00:16:10
Speaker
And there was just no, given that when he was talking, like Raven was doing pushups because he was so boring or she found him so boring and he's still blabbing on at her at the pool when they actually see each other.
00:16:21
Speaker
And she's still like, we've got nothing to talk about.
00:16:23
Speaker
I don't know what I'd have to say to you.
00:16:26
Speaker
How do you not get that?
00:16:29
Speaker
So I've heard on the new show, Perfect Match, and I haven't watched it yet that he's like similarly shallow.
00:16:35
Speaker
He's on there.
00:16:36
Speaker
Yeah, he's on the new.
00:16:37
Speaker
Really?
00:16:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:37
Speaker
So like.
00:16:38
Speaker
Oh no.
00:16:39
Speaker
On the new Netflix show.
00:16:40
Speaker
I know.
00:16:41
Speaker
So like they put like the craziest people from the past seasons on this new show.
00:16:45
Speaker
So they have Shane from season two and Bartise from.
00:16:49
Speaker
Oh no.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:51
Speaker
Bug-eyed Gary Busey guy.
00:16:53
Speaker
That's why the waistband.
00:16:57
Speaker
And Bartiz from the last season and like same thing where he just seems like he's massively insecure.
00:17:02
Speaker
So like wants to be part of the cool crowd.
00:17:04
Speaker
And then when you look at his friend group, like his friend groups are so clearly nerds that it's like, oh, okay.
00:17:09
Speaker
So he's kind of like, he's not really a hot boy, but like he wants to be a hot boy.
00:17:15
Speaker
So he's trying to like build his like hot boy group.
00:17:17
Speaker
you know but it's like it's not working because he's so uh like thirsty to be you know part of the cool crowd and like it's turning off people especially someone like raven who's maybe like used to being judged by her looks to a certain extent and wanted to get away from that whole thing so she could have a genuine connection like for someone like bartice to be like we should go to the bar together and look hot she's like what the fuck are you talking about like
00:17:39
Speaker
That's like the opposite of what I want in my life right now, you know, but for him, like he's like, he wants to get like the attention that Raven gets like he wants that validation.
00:17:48
Speaker
He's in that validation phase that he can't like connect with people because he's trying to get validation from certain people based on how they look.
00:17:55
Speaker
And that's not going to change anytime soon.
00:17:57
Speaker
Definitely not with Nancy.
00:17:59
Speaker
So hopefully you'll mature after it.
00:18:01
Speaker
Let's hopefully.
00:18:01
Speaker
But like Nancy, she's not like, she's not going to feed his eagle in that way.
00:18:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:07
Speaker
Which is a shame.
00:18:08
Speaker
But yeah.
00:18:09
Speaker
I've dated guys like Barty, so.
00:18:13
Speaker
What?
00:18:13
Speaker
Sorry?
00:18:14
Speaker
Just putting that out there.
Colleen and Matt: Future Speculations
00:18:18
Speaker
Guys, you're like... Because you know what happens?
00:18:21
Speaker
And similar to SK, then they start nitpicking everything you are and everything you do.
00:18:26
Speaker
Because it's all about their image at that point.
00:18:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:29
Speaker
Moving on to Matt and Colleen.
00:18:32
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:18:33
Speaker
Matt was just...
00:18:34
Speaker
I felt like Colleen was shrinking in front of our eyes as the season, as the episodes went on due to her relationship with Matt.
00:18:42
Speaker
It was very, it was quite terrifying to watch that.
00:18:46
Speaker
And I'm surprised that Matt wasn't called out more for his temper and the way he treated Colleen at the reunion, especially when it came out that they're still not living together, which is probably, for Colleen's sake, probably a good thing, even though they did get married in the end.
00:19:02
Speaker
So they're not living together.
00:19:04
Speaker
No, they're not living together.
00:19:05
Speaker
I think the relationship on Colleen's end is done, but they're waiting probably until they're not contractually obligated to stay married anymore to divorce.
00:19:13
Speaker
Because I don't know, when I saw their interactions, she's standing up for herself and she's putting boundaries, but it doesn't look like she's in love with him.
00:19:19
Speaker
It's like she's tolerating him.
00:19:21
Speaker
He looks clueless.
00:19:23
Speaker
Or perhaps like the rose colored glasses have come off and she's realized actually I'm this guy's an incel and I need to get out because yeah, from the get go, their relationship was just, yeah, Matt's got issues, serious issues.
00:19:38
Speaker
So I read that they are, if they stay married for a year, the show pays for the divorce.
00:19:43
Speaker
So like for the season two couples, they all got divorced at the one year mark.
00:19:46
Speaker
Yep.
00:19:46
Speaker
Yep.
00:19:47
Speaker
Yep.
00:19:47
Speaker
So like they're not technically contractually obligated not to get divorced, but if they want to get paid for it.
00:19:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:52
Speaker
Or something like that.
00:19:53
Speaker
If they want to get paid for it.
00:19:55
Speaker
then they have to stay married for like a certain amount of time.
00:19:58
Speaker
So I'm not surprised that they don't live together because I don't think Colleen's like serious about actually staying married to Matt.
00:20:04
Speaker
And like you said, the rose colored glasses come off and she was super like thirsty and desperate.
00:20:07
Speaker
Like if I remember, because like she kept trying to fall in love with these guys and get them to like choose her.
00:20:12
Speaker
And she got chose by like a crazy person or at least a deeply emotionally damaged man and entitled man.
00:20:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:21
Speaker
I get played.
00:20:22
Speaker
I remember when it was, I need to get played.
00:20:25
Speaker
I was like, Matt, he was playing you, really.
00:20:27
Speaker
What's scary to me, though, is like, she's going to try to leave and like, see, he doesn't seem like he's getting that she's pulling away.
00:20:34
Speaker
Oh, of course not.
00:20:35
Speaker
Absolutely not.
00:20:36
Speaker
That's what's scary to me.
00:20:37
Speaker
So I'm like, I'm scared for her when she actually does try to leave because he's going to feel blindsided.
00:20:42
Speaker
especially if he then pulls and then he'll pull the emotional guilt tripping as well because I think Colleen's got people pleasing tendencies she said but it comes out in their behavior as well and that she doesn't really like to rock the boat or upset people so I can fully see him if she tries to leave him basically you know making out like she is then the source of all his insecurities and problem because that's
00:21:06
Speaker
the thing with getting into relationships with these men who carry baggage is that the thing about blame is that it goes to the nearest person.
00:21:13
Speaker
So he might've initially blamed his ex, but then he'll blame the woman, the next woman that he's with, and then the next woman.
00:21:20
Speaker
And then,
00:21:21
Speaker
Some stuff came out about Matt's marriage to his ex, which I thought was quite inclusive, actually, so I won't repeat it.
00:21:26
Speaker
But basically that apparently it wasn't the way that it seemed, the way he reported it.
00:21:31
Speaker
So there's that too.
00:21:32
Speaker
So thoughts and prayers to Colleen, honestly, because I think she does deserve better.
00:21:36
Speaker
And I actually feel like her and Cole might have actually been a decent match.
SK's Infidelity and Manipulative Actions
00:21:40
Speaker
Oh no, I reckon they've just been like, just piss heads, just party.
00:21:45
Speaker
It would have just ended in disaster.
00:21:47
Speaker
Like, oh my gosh, like we went to a party and they end up leaving with different people or like snogging someone else's face off.
00:21:53
Speaker
Like, I just don't think it would be, no, that wouldn't have been a good idea.
00:21:59
Speaker
Yeah, so like after the altar, Cole starts flirting with Alexa's stepmom.
00:22:04
Speaker
What?
00:22:05
Speaker
So he's obviously drunk and like kind of flirts.
00:22:08
Speaker
Yeah, and making like these inappropriate comments.
00:22:11
Speaker
Yeah, but once again, like self-defending this part, like... I probably would have said it.
00:22:19
Speaker
Like, we're out of junk.
00:22:20
Speaker
Like, damn, you don't look like someone's stepmom.
00:22:23
Speaker
Exactly.
00:22:26
Speaker
But then at the same time, you could argue, I wonder if that's, you know, I suppose it's not appropriate to say that to someone's stepmom, but if, you know, she's young, she's young enough for that to be like, oh, stepmom, like, and she takes pride in her appearance.
00:22:40
Speaker
So a guy appreciating that appearance, a single guy, I mean, whilst it's not appropriate because you know she's married, but like, is that necessarily, I mean, it's just Cole being Cole though, isn't it?
00:22:52
Speaker
Yeah, I got the impression like he was just in disbelief and like repeating himself and like drunk.
00:22:57
Speaker
It's like, wow, you're her stepmom.
00:22:59
Speaker
Wow.
00:23:01
Speaker
And like, this is a guy whose parents, did he say that they were like deeply, deeply religious?
00:23:06
Speaker
And, you know, so he's, they're probably very traditional.
00:23:09
Speaker
Are they like, did he say they were pastors or something like that?
00:23:12
Speaker
Like, that's completely a different world away from Alexa's family.
00:23:17
Speaker
Like, maybe even financially, like, everything you see about Alexa is... Alexa and her family, like, they're quite unusual.
00:23:24
Speaker
Like, I didn't... They don't seem like the norm in, like, many, many... By many different standards.
00:23:31
Speaker
So it's like... And if you're drunk and you're lonely because no one's really talking to you, so alcohol becomes your friend, and then, you know, you start getting the, you know, the beer talk, then...
00:23:41
Speaker
You know, doesn't mean that it's right.
00:23:45
Speaker
I feel like he's getting the Jessica treatment because Jessica from season one was very similar.
00:23:50
Speaker
Like she gets drunk and maybe a little bit flirty, but it wasn't like I feel like after the show, the same thing happened where the perception of Jessica and Amber switched where people started to hate Amber and then like Jessica again, because like it's like
00:24:05
Speaker
There's just junk people who are maybe like socially unaware at times and then like other people react to them with like crazed amount of maliciousness then like ends up making people on their team.
00:24:16
Speaker
It's weird.
00:24:17
Speaker
I think he's just this season's messica where he's getting a bad edit and then like it's kind of shaking out that over time that people are a little bit more sympathetic.
00:24:26
Speaker
But he's also growing from it or at least trying to work on himself.
00:24:30
Speaker
Same thing with Jessica.
00:24:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:32
Speaker
Well, yeah, so at least they've got that going for them, I guess.
00:24:35
Speaker
But yeah, I just hope that Colleen gets out sooner rather than later.
00:24:40
Speaker
And we're probably going to hear about a divorce announcement this time at some point this year.
00:24:44
Speaker
I wouldn't even be surprised if Brennan and Alexa don't stay together, to be honest.
00:24:48
Speaker
She was like a baby.
00:24:50
Speaker
Did anyone stay together from the last season?
00:24:53
Speaker
I don't think so.
00:24:53
Speaker
I think all the couples from the last season, season two, were divorced.
00:24:57
Speaker
now uh yeah all the couples that were married or divorced and then there's only one from season one they were still together i think no there's two because amber and barnett are still together and so are lauren and oh okay cameron so there's from season one two of the couples are still together that's a low success rate very low success rate
00:25:19
Speaker
Because I think, again, they changed the format, like, season two, and then, like, tried to rush people through the pods.
00:25:26
Speaker
Yeah, they shortened it, didn't they?
00:25:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:29
Speaker
There was barely any, like, pod footage this season versus, like, the first season.
00:25:34
Speaker
Like...
00:25:34
Speaker
The one thing that was kind of confusing and like you get whiplash is like figuring out why these people like each other.
00:25:38
Speaker
And I think that was even the title of our episode.
00:25:40
Speaker
Like I can't figure out why these people like each other because they didn't build the narrative as well as like the first season where you could see them interacting and start to like form an emotional connection.
00:25:50
Speaker
This one, it just seems these people just don't want to be kicked
SK's Background and Cultural Influences
00:25:53
Speaker
off.
00:25:53
Speaker
So they're just pairing up.
00:25:55
Speaker
Yeah, but I guess on to the crown of this episode, and that is SK and Raven.
00:26:03
Speaker
I do feel like I need to strike off my previous comments about SK from the record, by the way.
00:26:09
Speaker
What were the signs, Savannah?
00:26:11
Speaker
What were the signs?
00:26:12
Speaker
So I saw on the Love is Blind subreddit, like some Nigerian Reddit users that were like, well, I could tell he was kind of shifty, but I didn't want to say anything.
00:26:22
Speaker
I was kind of blindsided.
00:26:23
Speaker
I have a few things I think were tells, but like as an American, I thought he was just a little bit like of a Nigerian nerd.
00:26:30
Speaker
So I didn't really, I thought it was just social awkwardness, but now I'm realizing it's no, it's shiftiness.
00:26:34
Speaker
It's like disingenuineness.
00:26:36
Speaker
Yeah, so I just, I'd say the first red flag that Lara and I discussed was the fact his dad was polygamous.
00:26:44
Speaker
I mean, I know, obviously, sins of the father, but that's a real thing in Nigerian culture.
00:26:50
Speaker
And it's not something that if, I mean, you can specifically talk about Nigerian culture, because he's from Nigeria, but it's not something to easily dismiss if a guy or a Nigerian guy tells you that his dad was polygamous.
00:27:02
Speaker
No, I just feel like, you know, from, and I have experience of dating, you know, men whose families all came from polygamous homes.
00:27:12
Speaker
I just can never shake off the fact that actually, you know, you're a decent guy.
00:27:18
Speaker
I like you, you like me, but...
00:27:20
Speaker
When things get tough, I just think you'll just do what you know, which is find someone else.
00:27:26
Speaker
Like, because you haven't been exposed to, like, conflict resolution.
00:27:32
Speaker
You haven't exposed, and you've been brought up in an environment where women are disposable.
00:27:36
Speaker
Like, well, yeah, you know, things didn't work out.
00:27:38
Speaker
So I'm just going to take the next woman, the next woman, or I want that woman and this woman and this woman and you all stay in this house or you'll all be in my life.
00:27:45
Speaker
And I'll be, you know, and I will tell you when you get to access parts of me.
00:27:50
Speaker
Like, I just can never trust that.
00:27:52
Speaker
I wondered about that because I thought it seemed to me like first and he was talking about like his culture and how he wanted to be.
00:28:00
Speaker
He didn't want to follow in his father's footsteps, etc.
00:28:03
Speaker
It seems like he just doesn't want the financial obligation.
00:28:05
Speaker
They all say that.
00:28:09
Speaker
Well, I was going to say, it seems like he wants like the best of both worlds.
00:28:12
Speaker
He wants a polygamous, polyamorous relationship style while not having to financially support all those women like his father probably did.
00:28:21
Speaker
Right.
00:28:22
Speaker
Because then like he wants all the fun and no legal obligations.
00:28:25
Speaker
Right.
00:28:26
Speaker
I thought that was SK all over.
00:28:27
Speaker
I mean, I was just like waiting.
00:28:29
Speaker
I have to say, when I first watched the first 10 episodes, I was like, and I could see this guy.
00:28:34
Speaker
I was like, oh, please don't.
00:28:35
Speaker
Please don't be another one of those.
00:28:37
Speaker
And I thought, yeah, he presented himself quite well.
00:28:39
Speaker
I mean, I thought he was, you know, kind of like kissing ass to Raven.
00:28:43
Speaker
Like, you know, he didn't show any sort of, didn't come across as if he had any bite to him.
00:28:47
Speaker
But he made some quite like statements that I thought were a bit odd.
00:28:51
Speaker
So at the beginning, he talks about,
00:28:54
Speaker
I remember the very first episode, he almost got quite frustrated.
00:28:57
Speaker
And it was the first time I saw like almost like a, you know, glint of like, you know, anger in him where he was talking about going on dating apps.
00:29:05
Speaker
And essentially it was, he implied that, you know, it only brings up essentially black women.
00:29:11
Speaker
Like he didn't want to really date.
00:29:13
Speaker
He didn't just want that.
00:29:15
Speaker
Right.
00:29:16
Speaker
It's like people judge me because of my race and they don't.
00:29:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:22
Speaker
My like on Tinder apps.
00:29:24
Speaker
And it's like, but then he made this big thing about, oh, I want a woman to respect my culture.
00:29:29
Speaker
And like, you know, on the one hand, it was great that, you know, you're wearing your clothes, you're wearing your Nigerian like attire and all this stuff.
00:29:35
Speaker
But hang on.
00:29:36
Speaker
So essentially what it sounds like you want, it's like you want a white American who,
00:29:40
Speaker
Who's going to understand your Nigerian culture?
00:29:43
Speaker
Bro, that doesn't really exist.
00:29:45
Speaker
Like, why?
00:29:47
Speaker
And I suppose Raven, he didn't know that Raven, I don't know, maybe he probably didn't know that Raven was what she was, but even still, it's not.
00:29:55
Speaker
You're looking for something that doesn't really exist.
00:29:57
Speaker
So, of course, if you find this person, this non-Black Nigerian or non-Black African or whatever he doesn't want to date, but really he wants...
Raven's Realization of SK's Lies
00:30:07
Speaker
you're just going to try and make that person who you want them to be.
00:30:11
Speaker
So that is going to include like coercive and controlling behavior because you want someone who doesn't understand you to understand you in a way that it's not natural for them at all.
00:30:20
Speaker
Like when you could just date someone who gets your culture, but you don't want to do that.
00:30:23
Speaker
I thought that was very odd.
00:30:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:26
Speaker
He doesn't want to do that.
00:30:28
Speaker
So I don't know if we did the recap of like exactly what happened with SK and Raven, like for the purposes of discussion.
00:30:36
Speaker
So Raven and SK after the show, they broke up for a little while and,
00:30:41
Speaker
And it turns out like SK was seeing some other girl basically the entire time.
00:30:47
Speaker
And then they got back together and got engaged again, like which was televised by the show.
00:30:52
Speaker
And SK during that time was seeing a bunch of different women, like
00:30:56
Speaker
He was living with Raven at one point and then like flying to Europe with some other women.
00:31:01
Speaker
And one of those women exposed him on TikTok and then said like she was only going to take it down for like $300,000.
00:31:06
Speaker
And then some other women saw the first woman expose SK and they started exposing SK and saying that they were involved in SK and going on dates with SK.
00:31:14
Speaker
while he was engaged to Raven.
00:31:16
Speaker
And then Raven at first with the first girl, she says that she believed SK when he said that like they did not date at the same time and that like that girl was just trying to extort him and it wasn't true.
00:31:28
Speaker
So initially on TikTok, she actually defended SK and then said they were going to take legal action and like stand beside him, et cetera, et cetera.
00:31:34
Speaker
But then all these other girls started to come out and then the timelines started to get mismatched.
00:31:38
Speaker
And then she later went on another show and Nick Vial files after the share air.
00:31:44
Speaker
Yeah, that was really sad.
00:31:45
Speaker
And told the whole thing that she was like, that he was cheating on her the whole time.
00:31:49
Speaker
Here's the kicker.
00:31:51
Speaker
Here's what makes me so mad.
00:31:52
Speaker
There's two incidents that I was like, the audacity of this dude.
00:31:56
Speaker
Maybe three.
00:31:57
Speaker
And like, to the point where it was scary.
00:31:59
Speaker
So one of them was, she says that she came home, they were living together and she found underneath the sink in the back, there was like a towel that looked like it had makeup removed, like had mascara and then like foundation and stuff on it.
00:32:11
Speaker
And she asked them about it and she's like, who the heck's towel is?
00:32:14
Speaker
And it had like hair, had blonde hair in or something like that.
00:32:17
Speaker
And she says that SK looked at her, was silent for like 20 minutes or something.
00:32:22
Speaker
And then was like, oh, I was doing, I was doing a turmeric mask.
00:32:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:27
Speaker
cooking up the lie yes he told her i was doing a turmeric mask and that's why it looks like it has women's makeup on that makeup towel you know when they just go silent whilst they're just ready they're just cooking up the lies yeah told her a freaking bald-faced lie
00:32:43
Speaker
And then she also spoke about like how he would like put her down.
00:32:46
Speaker
And again, I've said this so many times to Lara and on the podcast, it is always the mid to below mid men who have the most- Medium, I agree!
00:32:55
Speaker
Who have the most to say about women's looks.
00:32:58
Speaker
Like it's always them, every single time.
00:33:01
Speaker
And she's obviously gorgeous.
00:33:02
Speaker
And like, is he doing that to neg her?
00:33:04
Speaker
Or is it because like, most of the women, actually all the other women he cheated on Raven with were white, white.
00:33:10
Speaker
Whereas like Raven is apparently biracial.
00:33:12
Speaker
That it's like, he wants someone white, but she's not white enough for him.
00:33:16
Speaker
So then like, he's negging everything she does and the way she looks and saying, I don't like the way you look.
00:33:20
Speaker
And also like that, to face the, you met her on Love is Blind, like,
00:33:23
Speaker
I feel like there's so many people that just forgot the premise of that.
00:33:26
Speaker
I know the show has at this point done, been done, but it's like, I don't understand.
00:33:32
Speaker
It's like when people go all brand new on you, like, why are you going all brand new?
00:33:36
Speaker
You know that she's a yoga instructor.
00:33:37
Speaker
You know that she's quite an attractive lady.
00:33:39
Speaker
You know that she wears makeup.
00:33:40
Speaker
Why are you suddenly telling her not to do it?
00:33:42
Speaker
Like, why are you trying to do that?
00:33:44
Speaker
I think he's just negging her because he's a douchebag.
00:33:47
Speaker
Like he was just basically trying to bring her self-esteem down a notch because he's manipulative and covertly.
00:33:53
Speaker
He like he realizes like I think it's all him trying to like covertly control the women around him.
00:33:59
Speaker
And I wonder if that's just like tactics he probably picked up from his dad because I don't know how you manage a household full of multiple wives, but I have to imagine like
00:34:06
Speaker
you have to kind of like keep them in check in some kind of way and that's probably the way well yeah you develop a cult of personality don't you you make everything about you and they all worship you so and they're all competing there's a competition and they're all competing for your time and your resources and you know there's a lot of like infighting as well and it isn't all like
00:34:27
Speaker
strictly harmonious too there's a lot of infighting but just the polygamists just tend to just sit back and just not really do anything about it these the open polygamists by the way you also have like secret polygamists in Nigeria as well yeah so before it Raven like completely knew everything that happened SK apparently locked himself in a van with the producers of the show and begged them not to air the engagement scene from after the altar because like he knew all his lies of the
00:34:58
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:34:58
Speaker
Yes.
00:34:59
Speaker
That's what I'm like.
00:34:59
Speaker
He's scary.
00:35:00
Speaker
He crossed over from like kind of a tool bag to like kind of like this is all like it looks like he laid the groundwork to be this like kind of manipulative situation from the beginning.
00:35:09
Speaker
So he knew he was going to get caught up in his lies.
00:35:12
Speaker
So he went to the producers and basically like was trying to like for hours like talk them down from airing after the altar and like was trying not to let one of the producers leave like they couldn't find him for set like he had basically was trying to bully the producer and
00:35:25
Speaker
And they said that there were certain things that like, I guess production thought Raven was in on that, that like they didn't want to air the engagement after an alter.
00:35:32
Speaker
She says no.
00:35:33
Speaker
So like she didn't know any of this kind of thing.
00:35:34
Speaker
So behind the scenes, SK was like covertly trying to clean up his mess, manipulate all these women.
00:35:39
Speaker
You know, he contacted these women who were coming forward and like was trying to tell them like,
00:35:43
Speaker
BS timelines and some of those women like posted their chats on back on TikTok again of like SK trying to like beg them to take stuff down and act like they were act like the timelines are off and all this kind of stuff which wasn't true so he's manipulative like he's really manipulative I think he was nagging her and like it just is so disappointing and
00:36:03
Speaker
I'm trying to think of like, if I think you were spot on, Lara, where like the beginning where he was like crying because no one wants to date him because he feels like that he's being judged by his culture or his race or whatever, which, okay, fair enough.
00:36:15
Speaker
It's not fun to be like the recipient of racism.
00:36:17
Speaker
Like,
00:36:18
Speaker
But I feel like men rarely are running away from their culture because it's not feminist enough.
00:36:24
Speaker
It's usually because they feel like there's some kind of perceived benefit in another culture they're not going to get.
00:36:31
Speaker
And I also feel like they don't leave that entitlement anywhere.
00:36:34
Speaker
They don't get rid of that entitlement, I don't think, of being in a culture where he probably feels like he has the right to multiple women, never being honest with them, manipulating situations to his benefit, getting his ego stroked, despite being medium ugly.
00:36:51
Speaker
He's medium ugly, right?
00:36:52
Speaker
Like, I feel like he's smack dab medium ugly.
00:36:55
Speaker
Maybe in the US standards.
00:36:57
Speaker
I mean, we have plenty of Nigerian people here.
00:36:59
Speaker
And he's not the most handsome Nigerian person I know versus like, period.
00:37:05
Speaker
He's just like slap bang, like average, like the definition, like so average, so average that I suppose it could be so average that I'd be like, no, this is unattractingly average.
00:37:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:17
Speaker
To me, Nigerian handsome royalty is like Yanis Atentokounmpo and his brothers.
00:37:23
Speaker
That's like Yanis Atentokounmpo.
00:37:25
Speaker
Google him if you haven't.
00:37:26
Speaker
The NBA player from the Bucs.
00:37:29
Speaker
I think he is still fine.
00:37:30
Speaker
Yeah.
Cultural Context of Polygamy in Nigeria
00:37:31
Speaker
he was nigerian greek like his family moved to immigrate okay so he's half greek then okay no no no he's he's full nigerian he just oh his family moved to greece so they changed their name to a greek name uh i see yeah i see i see i see yeah okay i'm sorry but he like he's my i like him um but yeah okay but he's handsome right like anthony joshua as well is he full nigerian
00:37:56
Speaker
Yes.
00:37:57
Speaker
He initially was going to compete for Nigeria, then switch to Britain.
00:38:01
Speaker
Yeah, he's full Nigerian, like 100%.
00:38:03
Speaker
Nancy Joshua, yeah.
00:38:05
Speaker
So like Nigerian celebrities, okay, let's do this.
00:38:09
Speaker
So I can give you more handsome guys who are way more handsome and like...
00:38:15
Speaker
Yeah, SK's not winning any hottie of the year awards.
00:38:19
Speaker
Like, even by Nigerian standards, like, he'd be overlooked.
00:38:22
Speaker
That's what I was saying.
00:38:23
Speaker
I feel like he's medium ugly by Nigerian standards.
00:38:27
Speaker
By any standard, he's just not, like, at all.
00:38:30
Speaker
I mean, not that, you know, even if he was much, much better looking, it doesn't give him any that would make it what he's done okay.
00:38:36
Speaker
But it's always the way, though, isn't it?
00:38:39
Speaker
people who just got no business it's almost like well yeah you might warrant a girlfriend but that's about it you don't warrant being a douchebag you're not that good looking that's why i think he's he's the one to watch out for and i've said this before that medium ugly men are sometimes the worst because they have a deep-seated resentment towards women because they don't always like inspire initial attraction so they get by being like really manipulative and negging women
00:39:04
Speaker
So I feel like even without the like polygamous background, he'd probably be that way just because he's medium ugly.
00:39:09
Speaker
So like that was my point.
00:39:10
Speaker
Like it's often not the really hot guys that you should watch out for.
00:39:14
Speaker
It's like these guys who are super mid because they have a chip on their shoulder with women, which was displayed early on in the show where he was talking about he's crying about being discriminated against.
00:39:23
Speaker
And so then they want attention.
00:39:25
Speaker
So they try to give women the boyfriend treatment or present themselves like a good guy, etc.
00:39:30
Speaker
And then like they do all this covert stuff to like undermine women and like put them in their place because they're deep-seatedly.
00:39:36
Speaker
I don't even know if it's insecurity so much if it's like, maybe it's insecurity because they want to show off to other guys, but also because they want to like control and manipulate women for their ego purposes.
00:39:45
Speaker
Because they know, I don't know, I think they resent just not being like attractive, attractive.
00:39:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:51
Speaker
And this is all entitlement, isn't it?
00:39:52
Speaker
They've just been told maybe they're by their mothers or people around them their whole lives that like, yeah, women are going to come and you're just going to be able to pick and choose.
00:39:59
Speaker
And then they don't realise that they can't pick and choose.
00:40:03
Speaker
It's a competition.
00:40:04
Speaker
You know, it's not like a, it's not a when, it's an if.
00:40:08
Speaker
And just because you decide that, you know, Marilyn Monroe is the only kind of woman you'll go for, like she has to also want you.
00:40:15
Speaker
And they just take it quite badly that they're not wanted by their desired folk.
00:40:20
Speaker
And often it is these like very average people who just refuse to come down from wherever, like just find your level, like find your level.
00:40:30
Speaker
Just accept your limitations.
00:40:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:32
Speaker
Stay in your lane.
00:40:35
Speaker
Box in your weight class.
00:40:36
Speaker
It's okay.
00:40:39
Speaker
Trying to play in the varsity leagues, but you're JB through it too.
00:40:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:45
Speaker
You know Giannis Antetokounmpo, right?
00:40:48
Speaker
It's not happening for you.
00:40:50
Speaker
I need to find this guy.
00:40:51
Speaker
Okay, I'll spell it G-I-A-N-N-I-S.
00:40:56
Speaker
Giannis and then A-N-T-E-E.
00:40:59
Speaker
Okay, just put Giannis NBA box.
00:41:03
Speaker
Sorry, I don't know how to spell his last name.
00:41:05
Speaker
It's like... And his name was Adetokounbo.
00:41:07
Speaker
Okay, yeah, definite Yoruba.
00:41:09
Speaker
That was his original name.
00:41:11
Speaker
Why did I get rid of the name?
00:41:12
Speaker
I don't get it.
00:41:13
Speaker
I think maybe just to blend in when they moved to Greek.
00:41:16
Speaker
His family moved to Greece and then they like... But, you know, he's like... Look at those arms.
00:41:19
Speaker
Look at those arms.
00:41:21
Speaker
I know, right?
00:41:22
Speaker
Okay, so I was like, you're not telling me in a world where Yanis Atentokounmpo exists that SK is like handsome.
00:41:29
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:41:30
Speaker
Like, he's not prime Nigerian beef, right?
00:41:33
Speaker
Yeah, but Yanis Atentokounmpo is like a genetic anomaly in Lagos.
00:41:37
Speaker
Sorry.
00:41:39
Speaker
He's not like most men in Lagos, let's be real.
00:41:42
Speaker
He has three brothers.
00:41:43
Speaker
Yeah, he's three brothers.
00:41:45
Speaker
Yeah, but I can see it.
00:41:46
Speaker
No, I can see, I can see this guy's Nigerian.
00:41:48
Speaker
I can see it.
00:41:49
Speaker
I can see he's Nigerian, but he doesn't look like your typical Nigerian man.
00:41:54
Speaker
He just doesn't look like SK, no.
00:41:57
Speaker
And I just think SK has a very, just a very typical Nigerian look.
00:42:01
Speaker
He's got a very traditional look.
00:42:02
Speaker
Yeah, he does.
00:42:03
Speaker
Like a traditional, like average Nigerian.
00:42:05
Speaker
It's not like a, like a traditional, like good looking Nigerian look.
00:42:08
Speaker
Two of his brothers are in the NBA too.
00:42:10
Speaker
So Google Giannis NBA brothers.
00:42:12
Speaker
Bloody hell.
00:42:13
Speaker
His brothers are fucking handsome as well.
00:42:16
Speaker
These are definite.
00:42:17
Speaker
Yeah, these are like stupid handsome.
00:42:20
Speaker
Imagine having three sons in the NBA.
00:42:23
Speaker
I know his parents are his parents are fucking loaded.
00:42:26
Speaker
What I love about him, though, is like they grew up super poor.
00:42:28
Speaker
Like he has this whole they used to sell like bootleg watches and stuff.
00:42:32
Speaker
So like he had a movie come out about him and his brothers like growing up poor in Greece and then eventually making it to the NBA.
00:42:38
Speaker
It's actually pretty cute.
00:42:40
Speaker
I'm like this to me is like prime Nigerian cut beef.
00:42:43
Speaker
I don't like so when I look at SK, I'm like, nah, it's like secondary market.
00:42:48
Speaker
secondary market like uh garbage fed pork maybe he's so savage
00:43:00
Speaker
But the thing is, though, the thing is as well, I really liked SK's mum.
00:43:03
Speaker
And I wonder, was she in on it as well?
00:43:05
Speaker
I really liked her.
00:43:07
Speaker
No, I don't think so at all.
00:43:09
Speaker
She was so pure hearted.
00:43:11
Speaker
Actually, everything that we've been saying, I feel bad because of the mother, because the mother was actually really sweet.
00:43:16
Speaker
But how could she not know her son was in a whole relationship?
00:43:20
Speaker
How could she not know?
00:43:21
Speaker
But a lot of the time, mothers are to do with the reason why their sons end up the way they do.
00:43:25
Speaker
You know, even like, I don't know where her position was in the whole polygamy thing.
00:43:30
Speaker
But, you know, did she choose to stay in it?
00:43:32
Speaker
Did she marry a girl who had like four wives for like, you know?
00:43:37
Speaker
So he must be wealthy, right?
00:43:38
Speaker
Like he must come from money.
00:43:40
Speaker
Yeah, but we also need to remember as well, I was speaking to mum about this and she was saying how back when... So I was talking to mum about this and she was saying how when, you know, women of SK's mum's generation, they often entered into...
00:43:55
Speaker
you know, polygamist arrangements, not necessarily because they wanted to, but to escape from poverty as that was a route out.
00:44:01
Speaker
So if you had, generally speaking, guys who are polygamists tend to have a bit more money, generally, not always.
00:44:08
Speaker
So they just saw it as a way out.
00:44:10
Speaker
It wasn't really like a love match thing.
00:44:12
Speaker
It was more just this guy has shown he can take care of a family and,
00:44:16
Speaker
So you should go and have a family with him as well because he'll take care of you too, sort of thing.
Comparisons of Polygamy and Parenting
00:44:21
Speaker
Almost like he's done a test run and it's been okay.
00:44:24
Speaker
So off you go and do the same thing, sort of thing.
00:44:27
Speaker
But that's becoming less popular nowadays in Nigeria, thankfully.
00:44:32
Speaker
Well, yeah, and the guy often has, yeah, but even back then, the guys, yeah, they'd have the money, like, if you were the third, but then the money would finish by the ninth wife and the, you know, 27th kid.
00:44:44
Speaker
True, true.
00:44:46
Speaker
And to be fair, they would always have a favoured family.
00:44:48
Speaker
So it wasn't like they treated all their kids equally.
00:44:50
Speaker
There'd be one family that had the money.
00:44:53
Speaker
Well, I feel like they always went back to the first one because these women would get progressively younger.
00:44:59
Speaker
And at some point, if you're like a 64 year old and you've got like a, you know, 28 year old as a wife, you're just going to think differently.
00:45:07
Speaker
Like, so they always go back to the first one.
00:45:10
Speaker
It's just a shit show.
00:45:11
Speaker
All the children end up traumatized in some way.
00:45:14
Speaker
They're all encouraged not to like each other.
00:45:15
Speaker
And then they like someone dies and they all in they all share a space and they're like, oh, actually, you're right.
00:45:21
Speaker
But they've just been coached by the mothers not to like each other.
00:45:24
Speaker
You know, I think it's not even organized.
00:45:26
Speaker
And some, I mean, there are a few there are.
00:45:28
Speaker
I have heard of stories where like the polygamy is done.
00:45:31
Speaker
It's very, very organized and it brings an order.
00:45:34
Speaker
to what is otherwise typically very chaotic and traumatic.
00:45:37
Speaker
But I just, like most men don't do it, don't follow that.
00:45:41
Speaker
And even then you have to kind of raise your children or your, you know, your first wife also has to be willing to follow that order.
00:45:48
Speaker
So it's just a bad idea.
00:45:51
Speaker
So we have that in the United States and it's called being an irresponsible fuckboy that doesn't use condoms.
00:45:57
Speaker
And so there's guys out here in the States that have like nine, 10, 11 kids by like four or five different women, six, seven, eight different women.
00:46:05
Speaker
And then when the guy dies, the people are fighting over their six.
00:46:07
Speaker
That happened to like James Brown, DMX when they died.
00:46:11
Speaker
Yeah, it did.
00:46:12
Speaker
Is it Ray Charles as well?
00:46:15
Speaker
I don't know how many children Ray Charles has, but I wouldn't be surprised.
00:46:19
Speaker
He had, damn, he had 12 kids.
00:46:21
Speaker
Yeah, I guess he did too.
00:46:22
Speaker
Yeah, Ray Charles too.
00:46:23
Speaker
He had 12 children.
00:46:24
Speaker
So yeah, like, so we have like very similar thing, except there's no legal obligation outside of child support.
00:46:30
Speaker
But even then, like the child support well can dry up.
00:46:33
Speaker
It's a really famous like episode.
00:46:35
Speaker
Do you guys have like a Yanle fix my life in the UK?
00:46:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:38
Speaker
No, but you can watch it.
00:46:40
Speaker
We've watched.
00:46:41
Speaker
You've heard of it?
00:46:42
Speaker
Yeah, we've heard of it, definitely.
00:46:43
Speaker
So there's like an episode with like a guy that had 36 kids.
00:46:46
Speaker
And this is like a poor kid guy.
00:46:48
Speaker
And she made him hold like 36 baby dolls to represent each of his children he wasn't taking care of.
00:46:53
Speaker
But like, there's just like, due to poverty, lack of education, no, not a lot of sex, I would say sex education or access to contraception, etc.
00:47:03
Speaker
Like, there was a time where these guys are just like sperminating people.
00:47:08
Speaker
Oh my god.
00:47:08
Speaker
And very similar things.
00:47:10
Speaker
So it's a weird thing because sometimes that de facto happens in the US.
00:47:14
Speaker
Nick Cannon's.
00:47:15
Speaker
Oh god, Nick Cannon's.
00:47:16
Speaker
Okay, yeah.
00:47:20
Speaker
I'm just kind of embarrassed of like American men.
00:47:23
Speaker
Like there's Elon Musk, Elon Musk and Jack Nicholson has like 12 kids too.
00:47:30
Speaker
Hang on.
00:47:31
Speaker
Elon Musk has more than one kid.
00:47:33
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:47:34
Speaker
He has a ton of kids.
00:47:35
Speaker
He has like kids by each of his wives and girlfriends.
00:47:37
Speaker
He has like, he had random twins like two years ago.
00:47:41
Speaker
I thought that one was the one with the, like with the algebra name.
00:47:44
Speaker
That was it.
00:47:45
Speaker
That was with Grimes.
00:47:47
Speaker
No.
00:47:47
Speaker
Oh, no, no.
00:47:48
Speaker
That was his youngest, like, was his, his, like, youngest one.
00:47:52
Speaker
He's got a child who, who doesn't speak to him anymore because they're trans and they've, like, publicly, like, cut him off.
00:48:00
Speaker
So he's got, like, 10 kids.
00:48:02
Speaker
Elon Musk's got 10 kids.
00:48:04
Speaker
I just mentioned someone else who had like a bunch of kids.
00:48:07
Speaker
It wasn't Nick Cannon, but someone else like... DMX had a bajillion kids as well.
00:48:11
Speaker
Yeah, he had 17 kids.
00:48:13
Speaker
He had 17?
00:48:15
Speaker
He had something like 17, yeah.
00:48:17
Speaker
Yeah, he has a lot, like teens, like mid-late teens.
00:48:20
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:48:21
Speaker
Yeah, he had like 17 kids.
00:48:23
Speaker
And I remember thinking, like, because it came out recently that he was in love with Aaliyah.
00:48:27
Speaker
And I'm like, by then you'd had like 10 kids and she was barely 20.
00:48:30
Speaker
Like, why would she want you and your... Raggedy dick.
00:48:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:35
Speaker
And your little village.
00:48:36
Speaker
Raggedy deceased dick.
00:48:38
Speaker
I kind of feel like Aaliyah, like, it feels like every guy that came across Aaliyah just was in love with her.
00:48:44
Speaker
And it was so inappropriate because they were all like 10 plus years older than her.
00:48:47
Speaker
Agreed.
00:48:48
Speaker
And they came into contact with her when she was a teenager, when she was underage.
00:48:53
Speaker
Everyone has cancelled and, you know, everyone has like, R. Kelly is exactly where he needs to be.
00:48:57
Speaker
Like, whatever you think of him and his music or whatever.
00:49:00
Speaker
However, like, there were men of his similar age.
00:49:03
Speaker
So, like, Timberland and D&M, all these people, Jay-Z.
00:49:06
Speaker
Who were circling.
00:49:07
Speaker
Who were, like, literally circling like vultures.
00:49:10
Speaker
It was like a rush to get her.
00:49:11
Speaker
Who's going to get her?
00:49:12
Speaker
And it was Dame Dash that got her.
00:49:13
Speaker
Like, and it's just, this is really not okay.
00:49:16
Speaker
Like...
00:49:17
Speaker
It's not okay.
00:49:19
Speaker
And it's just... Okay, yeah.
00:49:21
Speaker
I digress.
00:49:21
Speaker
Music and issues predatory.
00:49:23
Speaker
It's just crappy.
00:49:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:24
Speaker
Yeah, so don't be having 50-11 kids, more or less.
00:49:28
Speaker
No.
00:49:29
Speaker
Men are trash.
00:49:31
Speaker
And don't get with a guy who has 50-11 kids either.
00:49:34
Speaker
And it sounds horrible because for every guy, I think that every... I don't know how many men, there'll be one guy who's like...
00:49:40
Speaker
I'm never going to do it and actually never does it.
00:49:42
Speaker
Right.
00:49:43
Speaker
But I just kind of feel there needs to be more of a social consequence that women can collectively bestow on men who make poor choices to actually to get men to stop doing things.
Conclusion and Community Engagement
00:49:53
Speaker
So like if you knew as a man that if I go and have, you know, 15 children by nine different women, it's actually going to lower the chances that my sons are going to have get partner because they'll run away because women will run away from them.
00:50:06
Speaker
But maybe that might start to change the behavior.
00:50:09
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:50:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:11
Speaker
I mean, it probably won't, but I don't know.
00:50:14
Speaker
I just feel like that's what we can do.
00:50:17
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
00:50:18
Speaker
I feel like there's got to be more consequences.
00:50:20
Speaker
It's just like, that's part of the work of FDS.
00:50:23
Speaker
Enforcing consequences, changing narratives.
00:50:27
Speaker
And they're not going to be pretty.
00:50:28
Speaker
Empowering lives.
00:50:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:32
Speaker
Yeah, that's it.
00:50:33
Speaker
So yeah, Love is Blind was another disappointing season to wrap up.
00:50:36
Speaker
I think they've got season.
00:50:37
Speaker
I think there's a UK one, I want to say, coming out soon.
00:50:40
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
00:50:41
Speaker
It's going to be your side of the pond.
00:50:42
Speaker
To be fair, generally speaking, the reality TV shows in the UK, they're not built the same as the US ones in that.
00:50:48
Speaker
There's a lot less drama.
00:50:50
Speaker
It's a different kind of drama, but it tends to be a lot more like low key.
00:50:54
Speaker
So if you're looking for like the explosive fights and stuff, it doesn't really happen on British TV because we just don't really respond to that.
00:51:01
Speaker
No.
00:51:02
Speaker
I mean, it might on something like that.
00:51:04
Speaker
It depends on what type of person they attract on the show.
00:51:07
Speaker
Yeah, but it's not as sensationalised as the US one.
00:51:11
Speaker
It isn't as sensationalised.
00:51:12
Speaker
If you think of Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsay and he's cussing and swearing, if you watch the UK version, he's totally different.
00:51:20
Speaker
He doesn't shout.
00:51:22
Speaker
He doesn't shout at all.
00:51:23
Speaker
He doesn't shout at all.
00:51:24
Speaker
For some reason, British people coming to curse out Americans is a very popular genre here in the States.
00:51:30
Speaker
Yes, you guys seem to love it.
00:51:31
Speaker
Because like nanny, like nanny 911, same thing.
00:51:34
Speaker
Like send Brits over to curse out random Americans.
00:51:38
Speaker
Gold, reality TV gold.
00:51:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:42
Speaker
I mean, so even shows like The Apprentice with Donald Trump and Lord Alan Sugar, even though there is drama in the UK one, it's totally different.
00:51:50
Speaker
It's not like that.
00:51:51
Speaker
And like, is it Shark Tank?
00:51:52
Speaker
It isn't the same.
00:51:53
Speaker
That you guys call Dragon's Den?
00:51:55
Speaker
Yeah, like Dragon's Den is very serious.
00:51:59
Speaker
It's very serious business.
00:52:00
Speaker
There's none of this sort of, it's not like reality TV.
00:52:04
Speaker
The people on the UK show, like they're proper business people in that.
00:52:09
Speaker
It seems like in the US, it's more like they were business people, but then they morphed into reality TV show stars.
00:52:16
Speaker
But whereas in the UK version, they remain business people.
00:52:20
Speaker
But some of them have no social skills still, like Duncan Bannertine's been cancelled several times for telling people to fuck off.
00:52:27
Speaker
social media like a 14 year old like they're just not like celebrities in that sense so it'll be interesting to see what the love is blind so yeah it'll be interesting to see what the love is blind uk version is like and to do a comparison between the two it'd be uglier dudes for sure apparently
00:52:43
Speaker
oh yeah we went over this like british men are just like compared to american men on the equivalent shows it's like an american guy might be like a nine the british equivalent is like a five or a six all right so stay tuned for that
00:53:09
Speaker
That's our show.
00:53:11
Speaker
Check us out on the website if you want to discuss this episode on thefemaledatingstrategy.com as well as our weekly bonus content and our Discord and merchandise on our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash thefemaledatingstrategy.
00:53:23
Speaker
Also follow us on Twitter at fem.strat and follow us on Instagram at underscore thefemaledatingstrategy.
00:53:32
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
00:53:33
Speaker
And for all you discount aftermarket garbage fed pork scrotes, die mad.
00:53:36
Speaker
See y'all next week.
00:53:38
Speaker
See you next week.
00:53:40
Speaker
Bye.