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How To Have A Hot Girl Summer
2 Plays5 months ago
Originally released as bonus content for our Patreon baddies, we're bringing this one out of the vault just in time for summer. In this episode, the Queens break down what it really means to have a Hot Girl Summer FDS style.
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Transcript
Introduction to High-Value Summer
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the bonus content queens!
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome, welcome!
00:00:06
Speaker
And today we are going to be talking about how to have a high-value hot girl or hot woman summer.
00:00:18
Speaker
I love that.
00:00:19
Speaker
Because I don't know about you, but the weather's been really, really good, unusually, in England.
00:00:24
Speaker
It's amazing, it's ecstatic.
00:00:25
Speaker
Yes, yes.
00:00:27
Speaker
Thank you, climate change.
00:00:29
Speaker
I know, right?
00:00:31
Speaker
But I also think, you know, summer is a season for socialising.
00:00:36
Speaker
It's when we start going out.
00:00:37
Speaker
It's when, you know, things just, I don't know about you, but it just becomes easier to want to do stuff.
00:00:44
Speaker
And I think that there are ways you can make the most of that, whether you are single and ready to mingle, or feel just happy being single.
00:00:55
Speaker
There are ways that you can maximise your summer in a high value way.
00:01:00
Speaker
I love that concept.
00:01:01
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:01:02
Speaker
Everybody here in Amsterdam, like when the sun is shining, everybody is like on drugs.
00:01:06
Speaker
Everybody's more friendly.
00:01:07
Speaker
They're smiling with their teeth.
00:01:09
Speaker
They're talking to each other.
00:01:11
Speaker
And yeah, this is also why I lost my voice because I was having a lot of fun.
00:01:14
Speaker
Having too much fun.
00:01:16
Speaker
This summer.
00:01:17
Speaker
Not too much, just enough.
00:01:19
Speaker
Having too much fun.
00:01:22
Speaker
So, okay.
Prioritizing Personal Enjoyment
00:01:23
Speaker
So the first tip that I have in my deck is prioritize your pleasure first.
00:01:29
Speaker
You know, summer isn't just about being seen.
00:01:32
Speaker
It's not about just going out and socializing, although that is a big part of it.
00:01:36
Speaker
It's also about doing things that you enjoy.
00:01:39
Speaker
So, you know, you enjoying yourself this summer can look like, you know, taking yourself out on that solo trip to go on self dates and to do things that really make, you know, you happy first and foremost, because that's the most important thing.
00:01:53
Speaker
I love that.
00:01:54
Speaker
I love that that's the first point because it's so hard to get sucked into like a very brutal summer FOMO.
00:02:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:01
Speaker
And now there's like always three, four things happening at the same time.
00:02:05
Speaker
And for me, I know that it's extremely important that my house is tidy and that my nutrition is like on check, at least when I want it to be.
00:02:13
Speaker
And I would prioritize happily, not meeting my friends at the park,
00:02:17
Speaker
But like, you know, meal planning, like cooking healthy food for the week will make me happier than going to the park.
00:02:22
Speaker
Like it really depends on me.
00:02:24
Speaker
And for instance, this Saturday, so I went to a party on this weekend and it was the first time some listeners may remember that I broke my leg recently.
00:02:31
Speaker
So it was the first time I was dancing with my hoop.
00:02:34
Speaker
And it felt amazing.
00:02:35
Speaker
And I was like, I really need to connect to that part of me.
00:02:38
Speaker
I was looking up the flow community here in Amsterdam.
00:02:41
Speaker
And I'm so lucky they have like their first gathering next weekend.
00:02:45
Speaker
And on that day, I was also invited to a party.
00:02:48
Speaker
I mean, I can't call it priorities, but it's like luxury priorities, right?
00:02:52
Speaker
Like if you want to connect to your art, don't feel sad about, oh, my friends are going to a cool party without me.
00:02:57
Speaker
There is no FOMO because you are the party.
00:02:59
Speaker
Where you are is where things are happening.
00:03:02
Speaker
Exactly, exactly.
00:03:03
Speaker
And off the back of that as well, I would definitely encourage, if you can, to do solo activities.
00:03:09
Speaker
I think there is a real danger of potentially wasting opportunities to enjoy yourself if you wait for somebody to go with.
00:03:17
Speaker
I'm a huge, huge fan of solo travel because I think there's just so many benefits of solo travel.
00:03:22
Speaker
That could be an episode in and of itself.
00:03:24
Speaker
But I think one of the...
00:03:27
Speaker
key things about enjoying your life as a high value woman is that you don't necessarily wait around for other people to enjoy life with you.
00:03:34
Speaker
You are happy to enjoy life with others, but at the same time, you're also able to put yourself in situations, sometimes by yourself, where you can actually still enjoy yourself and also meet new people and just put yourself out there.
00:03:48
Speaker
So I
00:03:49
Speaker
I would also give a tip is to not let yourself be hemmed in by other people's schedules.
00:03:55
Speaker
And if you see that show, that restaurant, that party you want to go to and you've got no one to go with, just go by yourself.
00:04:02
Speaker
The worst comes to the worst is that you will meet.
00:04:04
Speaker
At least, you know, you'll speak to somebody else that you wouldn't have spoken to.
00:04:08
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:04:09
Speaker
I love that that's the second point and it connects so well to the first one because indeed, if there's something that sparks your interest, like exactly like that flow thing, I did send it to some people, but I know that I will go on my own.
00:04:21
Speaker
And if some people join me, that might be an advantage, but exactly like you're saying, it's not necessarily an advantage because of course, when we're with a friend, we're socially reliant on him and we tend to stick to them.
00:04:32
Speaker
But if we're going along, especially if you're single now and wanted to meet people, whether for dating or for friendships,
00:04:38
Speaker
you are a lot more agile socially if you're on your own.
00:04:41
Speaker
So definitely prioritize.
00:04:42
Speaker
And I always do that with music shows because my taste is very specific and I'm not going to not go see an artist just because none of my friends know him.
00:04:50
Speaker
That's ridiculous.
00:04:52
Speaker
Exactly.
00:04:53
Speaker
Exactly.
00:04:53
Speaker
So I would say that's tip number two is don't be afraid to take yourself out and to do things that you enjoy on your own.
00:05:00
Speaker
I love that.
00:05:01
Speaker
You might be surprised by how much you enjoy doing.
00:05:04
Speaker
And really, solo trips are never really solo trips.
00:05:06
Speaker
They're really an opportunity to meet more people and to expand your circle.
00:05:10
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:05:11
Speaker
And when you have that time, and also for solo trips specifically, that was like how I grew as a person.
00:05:16
Speaker
And it's just so impactful to have that time with yourself to make your own decisions.
00:05:22
Speaker
Because when you're traveling alone, you have two journeys, you have the one within you, and you have the one without you.
00:05:26
Speaker
And it's so beautiful.
00:05:27
Speaker
Absolutely do it.
Curating a Meaningful Social Circle
00:05:29
Speaker
Agreed.
00:05:29
Speaker
And I would honestly say that few things build your confidence in the same way that taking a solo trip or enjoying your own company does, because then you really get to know, especially if other people or a man is adding to your life, if you are comfortable being, you know, by yourself and doing activities by yourself.
00:05:49
Speaker
it becomes a lot easier to assess if a man or a person or a friend or whoever it is, is positively adding to your life, which leads on to number three, is that you want to curate your circle in summertime.
00:06:00
Speaker
You want to surround yourself with women who reflect your values.
00:06:04
Speaker
And because people are going out more often and socialising, you can really curate your girl gang, so to speak.
00:06:10
Speaker
And you can really be selective in the types of people and women that you spend time with as well.
00:06:15
Speaker
Yeah, I love hearing that because for me, it's sometimes I feel bad, you know, when I'm in my butterfly vibe and I'm connecting with people and then afterwards, they want to hang out.
00:06:25
Speaker
But actually, I know that they're not accurate for me.
00:06:28
Speaker
I find it a little bit challenging.
00:06:30
Speaker
But I should be better at that.
00:06:32
Speaker
Like I find it challenging.
00:06:34
Speaker
Like, how do I say, you know, how do I just not ghost?
00:06:37
Speaker
Do you have tips for that?
00:06:38
Speaker
In terms of not going to your friends, I think you can just say no.
00:06:41
Speaker
Not your friends.
00:06:42
Speaker
Let's say you're going to an event.
00:06:43
Speaker
You meet a few people.
00:06:45
Speaker
You connect.
00:06:46
Speaker
Like connect, I mean, like on social media, exchange details.
00:06:50
Speaker
And then afterwards you're saying, oh, that person actually doesn't look like their values are all there or they're acting in a way that is hectic.
00:06:56
Speaker
I actually don't want to be close with that person.
00:06:59
Speaker
But then they message you like, hey, do you want to hang out?
00:07:01
Speaker
Do you want to have dinner?
00:07:02
Speaker
Do you want to blah, blah, blah.
00:07:03
Speaker
And you're like, what do I do?
00:07:05
Speaker
You can just say no, just say I'm busy, I've got the plans, like no.
00:07:09
Speaker
And also no is a complete sentence.
00:07:12
Speaker
And I honestly feel like saying no, especially in these contexts, it's like a muscle.
00:07:17
Speaker
The more you do it, the easier it gets.
00:07:19
Speaker
But just say, sorry, I'm not available at this time.
00:07:21
Speaker
And then eventually they will get the message and they'll probably stop asking you if you don't want to go down.
00:07:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing.
00:07:29
Speaker
You're saying, say no, but you're saying, say that you're busy.
00:07:32
Speaker
You're not saying, say no, I don't want to hang out with you.
00:07:35
Speaker
I mean, yeah, or you can just say you've got other plans.
00:07:37
Speaker
Like, you know, spending time by yourself is a plan.
00:07:41
Speaker
So it's not lying.
00:07:43
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:07:44
Speaker
I need to work on that.
00:07:45
Speaker
It's okay to just say, I'm busy.
00:07:47
Speaker
I can't.
00:07:49
Speaker
Yeah, just so I'm not available then.
00:07:51
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:07:53
Speaker
And also as well, a caveat to what I said, even though it's all well and good meeting people out in the wild.
00:07:59
Speaker
But yeah, that can happen where you think you vibe with people more than you do because you often meet at an event where your interests are shared.
00:08:06
Speaker
But outside of that event, you don't have much in common.
00:08:09
Speaker
And that's really common.
00:08:10
Speaker
So you can keep them as that sort of interest friends.
00:08:13
Speaker
So let's say you meet at a concert.
00:08:16
Speaker
If you go to the concert again, you might want to tag along with each other.
00:08:20
Speaker
But outside of that, you don't have to have a deep rooted friendship if you're not feeling it.
00:08:26
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:08:26
Speaker
I guess it's like, if I imagine it more deeply, it's maybe like a tiered kind of thing.
00:08:31
Speaker
Because, well, I have this concept.
00:08:34
Speaker
I don't know if you relate.
00:08:35
Speaker
They're party friends and they're your actual friends.
00:08:38
Speaker
There are people that you only go out with.
00:08:40
Speaker
And like I specifically, I don't have that concept.
00:08:43
Speaker
I don't have people that I only party with.
00:08:45
Speaker
Like the people that I party with are my dear friends.
00:08:47
Speaker
There are also the people that, you know, I help when they have issues or they help me when I need help.
00:08:53
Speaker
It's the same people.
00:08:54
Speaker
And I guess like if you're meeting new people, there is sort of like a tiered process for bringing people into your inner circle.
00:09:04
Speaker
And with time, you'll understand that some people don't belong there.
00:09:09
Speaker
And it's okay to have like more superficial connections at first.
00:09:12
Speaker
This is what I'm like organizing in my brain for that.
00:09:15
Speaker
Yeah, and I think it's perfectly normal and healthy to have, you know, like you say, tiers of friendship.
00:09:21
Speaker
So I have acquaintances and then friends.
00:09:24
Speaker
I'd say my friendship circle, people who I've got their back and I know they've got my back is quite small because I invest a lot into my close friendships and I just don't have the energy to do that for a wide group of people.
00:09:37
Speaker
I think if it comes down to it, I don't know, I...
00:09:41
Speaker
basically put a lot of stock in the word friends it's not a title I would use for somebody unless the relationship was quite serious but that's okay with me you know that's just where I organize my social life but everyone else is an acquaintance an acquaintance isn't necessarily a bad thing they're just not as close and that's fine
00:10:01
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:10:01
Speaker
I think it's very realistic.
00:10:02
Speaker
I also put a lot of stock, as you say, into loyalty and friendship.
00:10:06
Speaker
That's like a super important value for me.
00:10:09
Speaker
And it's a very serious thing for me.
00:10:12
Speaker
And, you know, I would do a lot for my friends and they would do a lot for me, but it's not a title that I would throw out casually.
00:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, I agree with that.
00:10:21
Speaker
Right.
00:10:21
Speaker
So take this opportunity to curate the people that you want to.
00:10:24
Speaker
Maybe if we say it in like very simplistic words, like use the summer to curate the people that you want to continue on to winter with.
00:10:31
Speaker
Like be intentional with your time and efforts.
00:10:33
Speaker
Yeah, that was going to say, you know, use summer to choose who you want to hibernate with in winter.
00:10:40
Speaker
And speaking of hibernation, if a lot of women are out in summer, that also means that there are a lot of men who are out in summer as well.
00:10:49
Speaker
Wow.
00:10:53
Speaker
So, you know, you have the hobo section when, well, I mean, to be fair, low value men are low value men all year round, but there are specific seasons where they come out more often, like summer, because everyone is out in summer.
00:11:06
Speaker
So it's easy to pick up a woman in summer and winter, like hobosexual, like hibernating, it's cold, whatever.
00:11:14
Speaker
You're cracking me up.
00:11:15
Speaker
So summer and winter are problem seasons for low value men.
00:11:21
Speaker
And I often get like cackled more in summer or just like pursued more in summer.
00:11:27
Speaker
And I do think it can be a prime time like for low effort men.
00:11:32
Speaker
So as always, it's a reminder.
00:11:35
Speaker
Attention from men is not affection.
00:11:38
Speaker
Dick is abundant and low value and there'll be a lot of dick around in summer.
00:11:42
Speaker
And yeah, just continue to maintain those boundaries.
00:11:46
Speaker
Wise words.
Maintaining Self-Care Routines
00:11:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:50
Speaker
I'm clapping.
00:11:52
Speaker
Very wise.
00:11:52
Speaker
I love that.
00:11:53
Speaker
So yeah, watch out for the dusties over summer because we're not just talking about the dust in the wind, we're actually talking about- They may appear hotter.
00:12:00
Speaker
Do you think they come out
00:12:02
Speaker
And it's true, they might appear hotter, like you said.
00:12:05
Speaker
Beware.
00:12:06
Speaker
It's funny.
00:12:08
Speaker
But it is true because you don't want to get carried away with excitement with ephemeral things because your boundaries and needs should be maintained high throughout summer as well.
00:12:19
Speaker
That's actually a very good reminder.
00:12:21
Speaker
Exactly, exactly.
00:12:23
Speaker
And yeah, so on to the next one, then.
00:12:30
Speaker
I've lost count of how many we've done, but we'll just keep going with it.
00:12:33
Speaker
It's fine.
00:12:34
Speaker
But on to the next one as well.
00:12:36
Speaker
I would always prioritise self-care during summer as well.
00:12:39
Speaker
Again, I don't know about you, but in my gym over summer, probably because of school holidays as well, but people go away and stuff like that.
00:12:46
Speaker
And it's just, it can be a ghost town over summer.
00:12:49
Speaker
And I
00:12:49
Speaker
I think it's really important to maintain the discipline.
00:12:53
Speaker
And this is something I am holding myself accountable to this year.
00:12:55
Speaker
For some people, they will go to the gym all year round apart from summer so they can have the summer body in quotation marks.
00:13:02
Speaker
And then it just falls off over summer.
00:13:03
Speaker
But just keep that routine, I think.
00:13:05
Speaker
Keep that discipline.
00:13:06
Speaker
Keep that motivation.
00:13:09
Speaker
up to, you know, to work out regularly, to eat those healthy foods all throughout summer as well.
00:13:15
Speaker
I think that stands people in good stead to enjoy summer as well, because when you are fit and healthy, then I think that summer can be a really, really, really, really fun season.
00:13:27
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:13:28
Speaker
It's about maintaining like all of this is like really giving me queen energy, like mentality, frequency.
00:13:35
Speaker
And it's the same for keeping my nutrition and being healthy.
00:13:39
Speaker
But in a way that is intentional, because like if I'm going on a vacation, or like this weekend, I had a visitor and we were going to like fancy restaurants.
00:13:46
Speaker
So I would go a little bit farther.
00:13:49
Speaker
But I still love my body and I want to be healthy.
00:13:52
Speaker
So I think it is very important to keep a healthy nutrition and not to put junk into your body all the time.
00:13:58
Speaker
I mean, you still can, but be intentional about it.
00:14:01
Speaker
And of course, maintaining that strong core physically, maintaining strength, feeling good about yourself is super important because your body is your body all the time.
00:14:10
Speaker
It doesn't matter if it's summer or winter.
00:14:13
Speaker
Agreed, agreed.
00:14:14
Speaker
I guess it's also about making it almost into a ritual, not a chore.
00:14:18
Speaker
So moving your body daily, but not out of punishment or hating your body, but just out of reverence for what it can do.
00:14:25
Speaker
And, you know, because ultimately choosing or being able to move your body is a privilege at the end of the day.
00:14:31
Speaker
And it's an honour to be able to do that.
00:14:33
Speaker
Oh, lovely.
00:14:34
Speaker
So well said.
00:14:36
Speaker
It's just about making it a ritual all year round.
00:14:39
Speaker
I love that.
00:14:41
Speaker
So on to the next one.
00:14:43
Speaker
We've spoken about going offline in a previous episode.
00:14:47
Speaker
So definitely watch that back if you must.
00:14:49
Speaker
But again, I would just emphasize, you know, being intentional with what you post as well, being intentional about, you know, being online, especially when the weather is good.
00:14:57
Speaker
Like, I think there is...
00:15:00
Speaker
a lot more value in just going outside, touching grass, getting some vitamin D, some sun, interacting with people, then spending it doom scrolling on social media.
00:15:09
Speaker
So do think about the sorts of, I guess, digital content you're consuming over summer.
00:15:15
Speaker
And as always, I would always recommend trying to get out in the real world and touch some grass.
00:15:20
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:15:21
Speaker
That's what it's all about.
00:15:22
Speaker
Like everybody lives in a different city, of course.
00:15:25
Speaker
And I hope that everybody has some favorite spot that they like and gives them peace, even if it's just a boulevard not far from their street.
00:15:32
Speaker
And it really does connect for me with what we were saying earlier about being on your own is okay.
00:15:38
Speaker
And if it's a beautiful day outside and the sun is shining, but quote unquote, none of your friends are up to doing anything, it doesn't matter.
00:15:45
Speaker
You know, you can always go on a walk by yourself and enjoy the beautiful weather.
00:15:49
Speaker
Exactly.
00:15:51
Speaker
So yeah, go outside this summer.
00:15:52
Speaker
Enjoy the good weather.
00:15:54
Speaker
Also wear your sunscreen.
00:15:55
Speaker
Wear your sunscreen.
00:15:56
Speaker
Like skin cancer is not a joke.
00:15:58
Speaker
Oh yeah, super important.
00:16:00
Speaker
Yeah, it's not a joke.
00:16:01
Speaker
Like wear your SPF.
00:16:02
Speaker
It's not a joke.
00:16:03
Speaker
Again, I need to take my advice on that.
00:16:05
Speaker
But yeah, SPF is very important.
00:16:08
Speaker
It is very important.
00:16:09
Speaker
You're just going to get red and I don't know, depends how you tan.
00:16:12
Speaker
I don't tan.
00:16:13
Speaker
I'm a binary person.
00:16:14
Speaker
I only get red or then I turn back to white.
00:16:17
Speaker
But even tanning or sunburn, it's also skin cancer as well.
00:16:21
Speaker
So you don't want that.
00:16:23
Speaker
Yeah, take care.
00:16:24
Speaker
Like I usually go out with a hat.
00:16:26
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:16:27
Speaker
And I think as well, the next tip I would say is because you can almost divide the year into quarters.
Setting Intentions for Growth
00:16:35
Speaker
So you've got quarter one, which is mainly winter, quarter two-ish, which is more spring, summer, quarter three, summer, quarter four.
00:16:43
Speaker
We're sort of like heading into autumn, back into winter.
00:16:47
Speaker
So one of the things I think can be good is to set an intention for what you want your summer to look like.
00:16:53
Speaker
Because as female dating strategy, I think it's important, especially as women, to be strategic in all areas, not just dating.
00:17:00
Speaker
Because we have to be.
00:17:01
Speaker
We don't get things just as much as the incels would cry and say it's not true.
00:17:06
Speaker
But we don't get things handed to us.
00:17:08
Speaker
The world is inherently...
00:17:10
Speaker
against us in some way shape or form with you know purely on the basis of the fact that you are female so I think it's also important to be intentional about each season that's coming up all the coming months and what you would like to achieve you know by the end of it and setting those goals and working towards them
00:17:29
Speaker
Obviously, it's nice to achieve those goals by the end of the season, by the end of summer, especially as, I don't know if you found it too, Patricia, but as I get older, the years go by a lot faster.
00:17:39
Speaker
And it's very easy for three, four months to pass and you still haven't made progress on the one thing that you said you wanted to make progress on.
00:17:48
Speaker
especially in the summer where everything is happening all the time.
00:17:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:17:52
Speaker
And everything also slows down a bit in summer, same with winter, because again, you have people, if you're working, people are on leave, people don't really want to be working.
00:18:02
Speaker
People just want to just enjoy the weather, which is all well and good.
00:18:04
Speaker
You should also do that.
00:18:06
Speaker
But also, you know, be intentional about your efforts as well.
00:18:09
Speaker
So if you have a goal that you want to achieve by the end of summer or even beyond summer, it's just important to factor that in and to plan that in.
00:18:17
Speaker
alongside the rest and relaxation, which is the next point is that do take time to rest and relax as well.
00:18:25
Speaker
You know, summer is often a good time to take stock, to enjoy the weather, but also to rest and recharge because that's really important.
00:18:35
Speaker
And I say that as a workaholic, I'm a self-confessed
Rest and Recharge: Avoiding Burnout
00:18:38
Speaker
workaholic.
00:18:38
Speaker
I like working too much.
00:18:40
Speaker
It's a trauma response.
00:18:41
Speaker
But anyway, this is not a therapy session.
00:18:44
Speaker
But it's really, really important to just set aside time no matter what is going on in the world, if you can, to just rest and to not do anything if possible.
00:18:54
Speaker
That's really important because burnout is not fun and it's not cute.
00:18:57
Speaker
Yeah, I really like that you said that.
00:18:59
Speaker
It really ties back to the FOMO aspect of summer because it's really important to be in tune with yourself.
00:19:06
Speaker
And if, I don't know, Sunday afternoon, if you had a full weekend and your friends are going somewhere and everything is exciting, but you're actually just really tired, you just really want to close your eyes and fall asleep, have that nap, you know, have that shower, have that meal prepping time, like really connect to where you're at right now because, you know,
00:19:26
Speaker
I think there's something about summer, like we're talking about summer out of the perspective of we live in a cold country, but also in some places, you know, some places are hot and then summer is unbearable.
00:19:36
Speaker
And maybe we'll also have listeners on the other side of the world where now it's going to be winter.
00:19:43
Speaker
specifically for this season that it's like hyper crazy, everybody is excited, traveling, doing things, and you feel like you're missing out.
00:19:51
Speaker
You know, where you are is where you need to be.
00:19:54
Speaker
Where you are is the party.
00:19:55
Speaker
And it's really important to listen to yourself and not burn out.
00:19:58
Speaker
And I also wanted to say that was really inspiring to me how you were talking about the summer as a quarter and kind of trying to envision where you want to be at the end of it already now before it's like kind of beginning.
00:20:11
Speaker
I think like for me personally, that's very inspiring because I have so much I want to accomplish at work.
00:20:17
Speaker
And I also have a few like projects that I'm doing with various groups of friends.
00:20:22
Speaker
And I also have a lot of traveling plans and I also have my like
00:20:25
Speaker
personal goals with fitness and with nutrition and physiotherapy, of course.
00:20:30
Speaker
And look at that.
00:20:31
Speaker
I said physiotherapy last.
00:20:32
Speaker
It should have been first.
00:20:33
Speaker
So it's exactly like that.
00:20:34
Speaker
You really need to have that vision quest with yourself.
00:20:36
Speaker
And this is what we're always pushing for in female dating strategy.
00:20:40
Speaker
It's about being intentional.
00:20:42
Speaker
and like driving order into the world that is chaotic because otherwise it's just not going to happen.
00:20:48
Speaker
And that is inspiring to me, like to try to sit with myself and think about what would make me happy if I would have accomplished like on August 31st.
00:20:57
Speaker
I really like that.
Intentional Use of Time
00:20:58
Speaker
I'm going to do that as an exercise with myself.
00:21:00
Speaker
Exactly.
00:21:01
Speaker
I think that's such a positive thing, Patricia.
00:21:03
Speaker
And it also ties back into what we said about social media detox.
00:21:07
Speaker
Can you tell we're not big fans of social media?
00:21:09
Speaker
Is that in summer, you'll often see people like living their best life.
00:21:13
Speaker
I don't know if you've noticed as well, Patricia, but the social media posting ramps up over summer, people taking trips, people just going out all the time.
00:21:22
Speaker
I'm just not on it.
00:21:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:26
Speaker
I sometimes go to find recipes and then I spend two hours on Instagram, but usually I just try not to go in.
00:21:32
Speaker
It's not even on my home screen, the apps.
00:21:34
Speaker
Good for you.
00:21:35
Speaker
Good for you.
00:21:36
Speaker
But, you know, just also bear that in mind as well is that summer, it might seem like everybody's doing the most and all that.
00:21:42
Speaker
But in reality, a lot of people are just trying to make the best of it as they can.
00:21:47
Speaker
And everything you see on social media is literally just, it's just the highlights reel.
00:21:52
Speaker
It's not their whole summer.
00:21:53
Speaker
Everybody's going through something, the version of the person that you're seeing in front of you, like you don't know what they went through to get there and you don't know what's going to happen to them later.
00:22:01
Speaker
Plus, you can only compare yourself to yourself because everybody has their own fate in life.
00:22:06
Speaker
Plus, on a darker note, you know, the social media apps are free because you are the product.
00:22:13
Speaker
You spending time on the app is what drives their money.
00:22:16
Speaker
Why would you want to contribute to that?
00:22:18
Speaker
Like you're getting nothing from it.
00:22:20
Speaker
Nothing.
00:22:21
Speaker
And this reminds me a beautiful sentence that my best and oldest friend told me when I was trying to quit weed, because I realized it was really, really bad for me.
00:22:31
Speaker
It was some years ago, best decision of my life.
00:22:34
Speaker
And we were talking about it.
00:22:35
Speaker
She had just quit cigarettes.
00:22:37
Speaker
And I was like, oh, but I don't want to quit because it helps me pass the time.
00:22:41
Speaker
And she said, why does the time need passing?
00:22:45
Speaker
I'm like,
00:22:48
Speaker
mind was blown, you know?
00:22:50
Speaker
That was so profound.
00:22:52
Speaker
And like quitting weed was a super impactful thing for me that helped me so much in life.
00:22:58
Speaker
And I'm not advocating for quitting weed specifically if it's okay and you have a good relationship with the substance.
00:23:03
Speaker
I'm talking about like
00:23:05
Speaker
This thing that we're doing, specifically I'm talking about social media, to pass the time.
00:23:08
Speaker
Why does the time need passing?
00:23:10
Speaker
Our time and our focus are the two most significant resources that we have.
00:23:15
Speaker
Like it's gold, you know?
00:23:16
Speaker
It's up to you to use them in a way that suits your goals, that suits where you want to be, that suits what energies, what qualities you want to deepen in your life.
00:23:25
Speaker
Really, really well said.
00:23:26
Speaker
I completely agree.
00:23:28
Speaker
So yeah, I think we got to 10 tips for Hot Girl Summer.
00:23:33
Speaker
And basically just to sum up as well is just enjoy it, relax, recharge, just honour your body, honour your boundaries and keep the line against the dusties and the scrotes.
00:23:44
Speaker
Yeah, I really love that reminder.
00:23:46
Speaker
Like it's basically, I think a lot of what we were saying here is like a summer can be like a very shiny thing and you want to catch it.
00:23:53
Speaker
But like what's important is you, you're going through that time.
00:23:58
Speaker
And that real queen energy is to approach it, having in mind what you are, where you want to be, how you want to experience life and what is important to you.
00:24:07
Speaker
And then you can enjoy it really fully.
00:24:09
Speaker
And I also want to give a shout out to our beautiful co-host on the main episode because last week was, I really loved that.
00:24:17
Speaker
It was, first I thought the headline was like, okay, because it was how to be hot and have fun.
00:24:22
Speaker
And I thought that was so superficial.
00:24:24
Speaker
And after listening to it, I don't know if our listeners right now have listened, but please go and do so because it was just so beautiful.
00:24:31
Speaker
It was amazing.
00:24:32
Speaker
like a very philosophical approach to mental health, like a mindset.
00:24:36
Speaker
So yeah, please see this as an invitation to listen to that main FDS episode.
00:24:41
Speaker
It was really cool.
00:24:42
Speaker
And with that, queens, we will see you next week.
00:24:45
Speaker
Do let us know how you'll be spending summer 2025, if you have any plans.
00:24:50
Speaker
We'd love to hear them.
00:24:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:51
Speaker
What are your intentions?
00:24:53
Speaker
And we're wishing you a very hot, hot girl summer.
00:24:57
Speaker
See you next week, queens.
00:25:00
Speaker
See you next week.