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Highs and Lows
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In this episode, Katelynn reads off listener write in's and questions. Someone who feels like they'll never find love again and someone who is struggling with loving their independence.
Email the show at: thenotsorrypodcast@gmail.com
Follow on Tiktok at: @notsorrypod
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Theme
00:00:03
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the Not Sorry Podcast. Thanks for joining us today. do Well, me. I'm one personality. um Thanks for joining. i am very excited for today's episode because we have more write-ins from our other besties out there.
00:00:23
Speaker
um As you know, I am your favorite tough love bestie, probably giving you bad advice, but I'm just here to help. I'm just a buddy. I'm just your friend.
Listener Write-ins: Breakups and Finding Love
00:00:33
Speaker
But um today we have, like I said, two write-ins from someone who is struggling after a breakup because, hey, we've all been there and feeling a little bit alone.
00:00:44
Speaker
Also been there. Always been there, right? but And then also someone who feels like they'll never find love again. oh we've been there. How relatable.
00:00:55
Speaker
or all of is ah all of that. um But yeah, how's everyone if you see or sorry, if you hear some whistling, it's the wind out there, a storm is literally brewing right now and it's going to thunder like crazy lately.
00:01:09
Speaker
So it's just been sounding like i'm inside of like a really high pitched tornado. So if you hear that, My apologies, but yeah, this is the, i think, seventh episode. We're getting on a roll.
Podcasting on TikTok: Vulnerability and Emotional Rollercoaster
00:01:23
Speaker
I've been documenting my journey on TikTok, ah kind of like behind the scenes of doing this podcast, really putting myself out there, and it's been such a rollercoaster of emotions. I'll tell you that right now.
00:01:37
Speaker
I haven't exercised my vulnerability muscle in quite some time. So like, it's literally a rollercoaster where like yesterday was... kind of on the low part where I'm constantly filled with self-doubt and wondering if I should do this.
00:01:54
Speaker
Some negativity is in there. It's like, it's not good enough. i don't know. And is this really what I'm meant to do? I don't know. And blah, blah, blah. Because we are always inundated with, especially with TikTok, seeing people just already successful or already a big creator or something like that.
00:02:13
Speaker
And you just have to remember We all start somewhere and see you hear that.
Advice on Trusting the Process and Overcoming Self-doubt
00:02:20
Speaker
But if my fitness journey has taught me anything, it's to trust the process day by day. It's going to be a slow uptick, be consistent, and just keep moving forward and keep doing the things that no one well would be willing to do when they start a podcast or something like that. And just trudging forward. So this is familiar, but also unfamiliar territory because...
00:02:48
Speaker
really trying to scale this will be unfamiliar, but I've been here before where I'm trying to just do something hard that I know is going to take ah hopefully not a long time, but it's okay if it takes a long time here for the long haul. so That's where we're at currently with all that. so I really love and appreciate those of you who are starting with me from ground zero. This is an incredible opportunity once in a lifetime.
00:03:15
Speaker
I don't know, but it kind of is. Anyway. That would just kind of freaking me out. I thought it died down. That's why I started recording, but it picked back up.
00:03:26
Speaker
But we're going to ignore that for now. We're going to get into these two questions.
Listener Write-in: Struggles to Find Love
00:03:30
Speaker
They're kind of short and sweet and sweet. The first one is titled, subject line is, um let's see.
00:03:40
Speaker
How do I stop thinking about love and how do I stop thinking about love and accept I'll never find it? Oh, sweet baby. Hello, thanks for reading.
00:03:52
Speaker
So lately I have been craving dating a guy. oh so you got a crush. I've tried so many times. I've given up because it never works out no matter what I do. i've i I've followed the advice I've received, the typical, oh, love yourself first, put yourself out there, don't go looking for it because it will find you, but nothing has worked.
00:04:13
Speaker
I never get approached and the guys I've had only wanted sex. They never take me serious. And I usually don't have expectations when it comes to that. I've gone for all so all sorts of different peoples too. So I can't say it's because I'm picky.
00:04:28
Speaker
And I've gotten rejected when I try. And I hate hearing the same advice over and over. And that I just haven't met the right person. But I just wish somebody would be a real realistic and tell me what's wrong with me.
00:04:45
Speaker
Well, honey, only you know the answer to that because we've talked about this ah so much already about you're going to hear something that you don't want to hear. And if you're hearing something you don't want to hear, it might be time to listen, especially if you keep hearing. Well, just said that. If you keep hearing the same things over and over, babe, it's time to like take a beat and be...
00:05:10
Speaker
Put the pride down and say like, okay, if you think something is wrong with you, then maybe try to figure that out. You know, if you're trying put if you're putting your foot out there, your best foot forward, really approaching guys, like that's good. like that. That takes courage. That takes gumption and all that. So I really encourage you to keep doing that.
00:05:33
Speaker
Not just with anybody. It will help you, I think, narrow down kind of who... you know, might be the best fit for you. um Kind of really narrow down that criteria. That's the word we're looking for.
00:05:48
Speaker
But yeah, you know, it's hard. it it can get really discouraging thinking like, I've been at this since blah, blah, blah. I've been single for all these years or I'm newly single at 45 and it's just, it feels hopeless.
00:06:02
Speaker
Everyone, it doesn't matter what age you're at. It just seems like everyone has always felt that, that it just is hopeless. This is it. This is my life. And why are we so dramatic?
00:06:13
Speaker
Love, I mean, people, kill people over love. Like it's a strong thing inside of us. It is so hardwired into us to crave it, to need That's why we make terrible decisions when we're in love. That's why they say love is blind because it's absolutely true.
00:06:34
Speaker
So, hey babe, sorry, but take your time. Take your time. Get to know little old These are all anonymous. i don't know what your name is, but get to know little old you.
00:06:46
Speaker
date around if you want, but get... Bruh.
00:06:50
Speaker
But get to know yourself. I hate to say it. Read a couple books. Get to dive into Lake You and see what's under the surface. um And if if there's parts of you that you don't like, change it.
00:07:05
Speaker
You can do that. Did you know that? Everyone, there's so many people, you'd be surprised. Just feel so hopeless and powerless thinking, know what's wrong with me. You do. You just have to go looking for the answers because a stranger...
00:07:20
Speaker
won't be able to know that, but you do. And you're gonna have to hear some hard truths that you don't wanna hear because you just don't wanna hear it. If you're sick of hearing the same advice, oh my God, dude, it like life's literally giving you the answers right now, but you're just like, well, just don't know.
00:07:39
Speaker
i guess I'll just keep wondering and wondering and hating everyone that I'm dating and just be the booty call. Like, no, look, open your eyes.
00:07:51
Speaker
The answers are there. They're there. You just have to accept them.
Casey Anthony in Murfreesboro: Media and Morality
00:07:56
Speaker
Okay.
00:07:59
Speaker
Are we done with that one? all right. Next. It is a busy day out there Nashville is effed. Oh, my gosh.
00:08:10
Speaker
Speaking of Nashville being effed, did you hear? it is all the rage right now. Casey Anthony is in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Gosh, that is loud. It's all over TikTok and I am just here for it. Don't you dare follow her. There's like already 60,000 people there that are following her and I just cannot.
00:08:31
Speaker
I understand like the morbid curiosity. Like what's this, what's this bitch, what's she doing? what What is she saying? Like, why is she here? You don't even go here. and anyway I'm just like she's in Murfreesboro I'm in Nashville and what are we doing what are we going to do about this what if I see her in public what am I do what do I do i don't know what to do I'm in I'm facing a murderer what do you do do you run you stare at them like they're like a giraffe at the zoo what do you do that's crazy but don't don't be going following I'm really upset that
00:09:11
Speaker
She's here. There's a lot of awful people around in the world, but it's just, it's just kind of surreal. I'm, I literally have her Hulu documentary Hulu. The TV as we speak and it's paused because I'm rewatching it. There's like 30 of them out there. I'm a giant true crime fan, if you can't tell.
00:09:29
Speaker
So I'm refreshing myself on the case and following the drama. But go watch those documentaries. There's a ton of them. There's some new ones out there. There's one that like gives her side of the story.
00:09:43
Speaker
don't think I'm going to watch that one. She's probably going to get paid for that one. or does get paid for that. I don't know. that and That's against every moral thing, DNA cell in my body.
00:09:55
Speaker
Can't do it, but we're curious. Same thing with TikTok. Don't follow her because that's gonna get some money in her pocket somehow. Some way, those people tend to find a way to survive. Okay.
00:10:09
Speaker
Is that my buzzkill segment for the day? Should be. Okay. and to to
Listener Advice: Embracing Independence Post-Relationship
00:10:20
Speaker
Indiana Jones. All right. Next one is somebody just seeking some like general life advice.
00:10:26
Speaker
um She goes, hi, I currently left my seven year relationship two months ago to find out who I am by myself and truly healing my inner child. Amen, sister. I've been looking back.
00:10:40
Speaker
I've been, sorry, I've been locking back in with work and trying to get into traveling. um Though I've never been alone in my life and I'm trying to be okay with that because I know it's what I need. Amen.
00:10:51
Speaker
I was in a decently healthy relationship, but I wasn't happy anymore. I went through every scenario and every obstacle to make sure that I made the right decision before I left. Amen. I'm glad I am finally out of the relationship, but I can't help but miss the feeling of someone being there when I need them.
00:11:08
Speaker
or Or, sorry, how, well, there's a typo. Or when do I, oh my God, let me get my head on straight. How or when, oh, how or when do I completely fall in love with being alone?
00:11:22
Speaker
I really want to start being truly independent and embracing being happy by myself because right now I just feel sad Oh yeah. Yeah. That's a weird, that's a really interesting spot because it's like, you know you made the right decision, but that doesn't mean it's always gonna you're gonna automatically be on the side where the grass is greener. Sometimes it sucks for a while. You have to walk through the mud.
00:11:47
Speaker
You have to pull out those weeds, right? Sorry, I need to take a sip of water.
00:11:57
Speaker
All this talking always makes my mouth feel weird. That's what she said. Yeah. No, you're definitely in that weird spot that we've been in where we're happy with the decisions that we made, but you don't always think about the reality of what that is once you make that decision, what life will look like.
00:12:15
Speaker
You just know you need this relationship to be over, and that's good. Sometimes you just have to make a decision based off of what's going on right here, right now, and the rest...
00:12:26
Speaker
We'll figure out later. Sometimes it's just how life is. And i love that you're not unblocking the guy, that kind of thing, that you're just not falling back into old patterns because that's what our brain has been wired to do. If you think about it on a scientific basis,
00:12:45
Speaker
neurological level, especially if you're not like an emotionally well-versed person. Some people think it's all hoity-toity, weirdo, you know, stuff.
00:12:57
Speaker
But if you look at it on a so or a psychological level, your brain was wired for a certain thing. for quite some time, for a long time.
00:13:09
Speaker
And now that's not like that. So your brain is making new connections. It's making new um habits and thinking like, oh, I want to travel, but I don't want to do that alone.
00:13:21
Speaker
I get that. and Everyone gets that where you want to travel and make all these memories, but you're doing that alone. Like, oh, that's street. I can't wait to get a studio.
00:13:33
Speaker
Um, No, we we all feel that. We want to make those memories with someone and with someone we love, especially. But that's just not the case for you right now. So find a travel buddy or just rip the bandaid off and go on that trip.
00:13:50
Speaker
Go on a small trip. doesn't have to be this big to do Just go on a trip and do it. Sometimes when I go out to dinner by myself, it still does feel weird where I'm like, I don't know what to do. And I'm an extrovert.
00:14:03
Speaker
But that doesn't mean I'm talking to everyone around me. i'm not that kind of extrovert. Typically, Mark is is kind of weird. But um, Yeah, no, keep working on yourself and just give yourself a little more time. It's only been two months.
00:14:20
Speaker
You were in such a long relationship before that that your body is used to a comfort zone that wasn't healthy for you. Does that make sense? so you're just now creating a new comfort zone.
00:14:32
Speaker
And some people kind of overre overcorrect and they get they love the single life and then they end up being single for like ever. And then they're like, oh, wait, I kind of a relationship or it's hard for them to get into relation a relationship because there's so much...
00:14:49
Speaker
deeply rooted into their comfort zone that they just can't get out. I know someone like this. I know three people like this and they are in women.
00:15:03
Speaker
They are in their fifties and sixties and they've stayed single for, um I am 30 years old, 33 years old, and I've never seen them in a relationship.
00:15:18
Speaker
Ever. And um yes, I've known them my whole life. Literally. So, um and I've always wondered, i don't know if it's a subject I can like bring up with them, but I've always been kind of curious.
00:15:33
Speaker
So don't overcorrect, babe. Find that happy medium and enjoy where you're at man. get it. And i get it and You just got to create those new connections and just fall in love with yourself. And you will start to feel more and more independent the more you get out there.
00:15:53
Speaker
Don't become a hermit. That's really easy. But this is a really fun time. And you can, listening to this right now, you can find the silver lining in all this.
00:16:04
Speaker
And remind yourself of those silver linings. Like, oh, hey, i don't have to put up with this bullshit anymore. i'm actually happy. I might be a little bit alone and, you know, needing to find some companionship.
00:16:17
Speaker
But create new memories with new friends. Go out there. you can You are unchained. The world is your oyster. This is amazing. So this is actually, i'm quite excited for you. And when I was going through my divorce,
00:16:33
Speaker
I saw both sides of the coin where I'm like, this is so scary or even like any breakup really. This is so scary. don't know what I'm gonna I kind of rely on this person in certain ways. I'm just kind of scared to have to face that myself whether it was financially or um ah i financially. For real, if we're being honest over here.
00:16:58
Speaker
Um, and it's scary, but then i would quickly remind myself like, oh, I can start dating again. That's actually really fun and exciting because I love going out on dates. I love meeting new people.
00:17:12
Speaker
I can um not feel guilty about this thing. I can now not have to worry if the dishes are done for the day. there's so much stress is off my shoulders. Like, hallelujah. I would rather put up with all these other, if you could call it downsides or negative sides to being single.
00:17:31
Speaker
I'd rather, those things sound great compared to this bullshit. So if you just have to remind yourself every so often what you don't have to put up with anymore and now all the possibilities that are in front of you, oh my god!
00:17:44
Speaker
That's amazing. So I hope that helps. If you're someone who needs a little perspective, girl, I'm here. You can write in, DM me, all the jazz.
00:17:56
Speaker
um Yeah, we're going go into, after I take a sip of water,
00:18:03
Speaker
we're going to go into our buzzkill segment. Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. that good? Do we like that? Probably not. That's annoying.
Reflection on Creator Events: Follower Counts and Viral Content
00:18:13
Speaker
Buzzkill segment of the week of the episode is where I like to have a moment to bitch about something that happened to me recently that really ruined the vibe and just killed the moment, right? If you have a buzzkill that you want to tell me about, absolutely want to hear it because we need to, we need bitch about things. It's Okay.
00:18:37
Speaker
to complain about just dumb shit. Okay, so mine, um recently, i was am a part of a creator event, and that was being hosted here in Nashville.
00:18:49
Speaker
And I knew there was gonna be tons of people there. I'm not a very big creator on TikTok, um but whatever, right? And and i was like, this is kind of new. This is interesting and fun. I'm gonna meet new people, um maybe get some new opportunities. So, handed to me or just opened up to me, whatever it is.
00:19:09
Speaker
I got dressed up. I didn't have a plus one because Mark is such a good plus one. it would have been great to have him. And he's such a good networker. I need to get better at networking. But anyway, so I go.
00:19:21
Speaker
It's wall to the wall, packed, shoulder, shoulder packed. But there was free, free wine. But as I'm standing around trying to like meet new people, it is kind of awkward.
00:19:34
Speaker
The whole time, all you're hearing are just people like just doing their follower comparisons. Like how many followers do you have? um I have this video go viral. Look how many views and likes and everything that it had. Like it was literally so disgusting.
00:19:55
Speaker
And yeah I kind of expected that. This is where we're at. We're at a creator event. And this is why you're here because of... what you're doing on the TikTok and all that stuff.
00:20:07
Speaker
And i just didn't I just hated how ah heavily focused people were on that. And it's such a fine line when it does come to creator events and things like that, because in in one way, it does matter what the numbers are.
00:20:27
Speaker
But in another way, you want to be that authentic person, be like, oh, it doesn't really matter, bla blah, blah. But then it does, especially if you're trying to make a thing of it, a career of it or like me trying to start a podcast and have be super successful of course it matters but like it was just all that they were talking about and you're being judged on it also and it's just so gay it's like the ick like that's really what an ick to me is is that can we talk about something else like there's other things to talk about
00:21:03
Speaker
if you want to talk about this is what my social media is about. And that's the kind of conversations that I had. um Because when you're meeting people, like you're, meeting people for the first time and this is why you're here ah yeah hey what's what's your thing what's your tiktok all about what's your content like what are you doing and um how's it been going for you so those were the kind of questions i was asking to get to know people kind of get to know their background what they've been going through and how it's been going for them and ups and downs and all that stuff but like there were just so many people where it's like
00:21:38
Speaker
I was overhearing these conversations. Yeah, I had this video go viral and it had like 1 million views. and my ah I just wanted to vomit. And I just pray y'all need to keep me humble and keep me accountable that I will never, ever, ever turn into that. And I just pray that anyone listening isn't like that. And if you are, time to rain check.
00:22:01
Speaker
Wait, no. Time to check yourself. Yeah. That's the word. Time to check yourself because that's gross. Anyway. oh But this is the um this is the life I'm choosing, I guess, if I'm trying to do a thing on on the on the podcast interwebs.
00:22:23
Speaker
um Well... Yeah, so this is, it's definitely been, like I said at the beginning of the episode, a kind of a rocky relationship I'm having right now because I'm at one, there's a part of me that's procrastinating on doing my editing and posting to TikTok and um recording episodes.
00:22:42
Speaker
And I'm like, why? This is what you've decided to do And then at the same time, it's like, oh, because um it's really vulnerable and it's kind of scary. I feel naked when I'm doing it.
00:22:53
Speaker
So ah naturally going to procrastinate on something that kind of, in a way, is stressing me out, but not like in an awful bad way. So that's what we're going through right now.
00:23:05
Speaker
So I do appreciate, again, i will always say this over and over and over. You're going to sick of it, but I'm going to keep saying how much I appreciate those of you who are here, who are sharing the struggle with me at ground zero and um rock bottom, if you Hey, we can, we actually, yeah, we can only go up from here. Amen.
Interactive Call: Content Ideas and Segment Suggestions
00:23:28
Speaker
Amen. So if you want to help me out, you can share, recommend, like, um review. That's the other one. That would be lovely and I appreciate it.
00:23:41
Speaker
But all right, enough of my jibber jabber. If you want to write in you can do so at the email below or just DM me on the TikTok. I'm only on TikTok.
00:23:52
Speaker
The rest can go to hell. And well, no, I'm on YouTube too. Can you DM on YouTube? I don't know. ah should know these things. um Yeah, you can do that. And also, I would love to hear some content ideas because I do want to be producing more episodes more than just once a week. So I just haven't thought of more segment ideas, more things, ah more content ideas and stuff like that. I would love to hear what you want to hear, babes.
00:24:24
Speaker
But I appreciate it. Thanks for listening. Until next time, peace out.