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Love Your Body with Dani D
31 Plays1 year ago
On this weeks episode we sit down with Dani D of Body Positive Fitness and the Host of Love Your Body Podcast. We talk about our journey in loving our bodies more, past and current struggles with self image and body confidence.
Instagram: @thefitfemmeproject
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitfemmeprojectfitnesscoaching/
Website: www.fitfemmeproject.com
Dani D Instagram: @danidfitness1
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction and Mission
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the FitFem project alignment podcast. It is here that we cultivate and gather all who have been through it in fitness, relationships, careers, lifestyle changes, and unforgettable crucial life pivots trying to achieve their most sovereign selves.
Unfiltered Stories and Transformative Moments
00:00:19
Speaker
We're here to provide you with thought-provoking detailed stories and information from truly fascinating men and women from all walks of life, professions, generations, and modern day sagas who speak to the rawest, darkest moments that made them the strong, decisive, humble, helpful, healing people that they are today.
Achieving Mental, Emotional, and Physical Alignment
00:00:38
Speaker
We ask them to hold nothing back because life is a multidimensional pursuit to be stronger, healthier, and more aligned mentally, emotionally, and physically. Let's go!
Guest Introduction: Danny D, Body-Positive Fitness Advocate
00:00:58
Speaker
Welcome back FFP Ladies. Today we have a very special treat for everyone. I am sitting down with the one and only, Danny D of the Body Positive Fitness Brand owner, trainer, and fellow host of the Love Your Body podcast.
Podcasting Experiences and Initial Challenges
00:01:15
Speaker
Hola.
00:01:15
Speaker
Hi, how are you? You're my first guest. I was saying that and so this is all very new. Yeah, but I've met you like two times Yeah, you have a couple times for sure. I remember so for people who don't know I was on Danny's
00:01:31
Speaker
podcast an episode a couple weeks ago. Right? Yeah, a couple weeks ago. And that was the first time I was like a guest on anything. I was like, this is weird. It was so weird, like hearing myself. Oh, yes. Yeah, with the my Yeah, with the headset. Yeah, it was so odd.
Personality Types and Enneagram Humor
00:01:46
Speaker
So and I was like, what do I
00:01:47
Speaker
dude cuz i'm a big talker yeah i know i am too like and that's why i love having on cuz i felt like it was a great dynamic you know what i mean like all three was like we didn't talk over each other we just kind of like had our space to talk and yeah it's hard it was hard to know like when it was an appropriate time to interrupt so i was like
00:02:07
Speaker
oh no you just gotta jump in like yeah yeah for sure for sure it was so funny that that moment you kind of called me out you're like no it definitely sounded like that remember that what so we were talking about the enneagram and um i was like
00:02:24
Speaker
you were asking the difference between the Enneagram eight, wing nine versus the wing seven.
Bonding Over Shared Experiences
00:02:29
Speaker
And I was like, oh, but I was like giving a personal example, but it sounded like, do you remember? It sounded like I was like, yeah, the wing nine is like superior to those who are the wing seven, which is Casey. I'm just learning, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, you just let me know what the vibe is. But I had told Kisi after that, I was like, I love her.
00:02:53
Speaker
That's so sweet. I'm God. I'm God. Y'all had fun. No, I did. I was like, I just love being able to meet new people because of all of this.
Fitness Expo Insights and Networking
00:03:01
Speaker
Yeah. And, um, I was like, I love her. Like I love like seeing you at the Fit Expo. Yeah. I was like, I love her little hustle. Like, look at, look at
00:03:12
Speaker
Yeah, it was cool to see you there, because I didn't know who was going to be there, because obviously I wanted Casey to come to MUFIT, because she had done MUFIT before, and loved it and stuff. And so I just didn't know who was all going to be the expo. And that was a special surprise. So it made me feel really good to see people I know, and friends, and ketchup, and everything. Yeah, you were hustling. I was like, I just want to sit there and watch. Yeah, girl. It was a lot. It was from MUFIT too.
00:03:39
Speaker
you know i helped plan that event the year before and so yeah and so basically you know i'm friendly good friends with the people who put it on had them on the podcast as well so we're getting it all ready for everything so i kind of knew what to expect and all that but uh but yes i mean doing movement and i knew i would have friends i would see
00:03:56
Speaker
You know, we're selling fight energy booster, you know, got my shirts, all that stuff. But then also, you're talking to potential new clients with them running around. You're good. You're good. But you know what I mean? So it's like, there was just a lot that was, you know, that I expected of myself there.
00:04:12
Speaker
Um, plus, you know, having ambassadors like kind of wear the booth, but we're trying to do that, but it's like not the right time. But yeah, yeah, we'll get there.
Building and Expanding a Fitness Brand
00:04:21
Speaker
No, you're good. Now y'all building a team for sure. It's very, um, it's very admirable to watch. You know what I mean? Like, I've really loved seeing the growth in that. Yeah. Casey, like, I mean, she already had a huge foundation before. And we talked about that on yours. Um, huge foundation before.
00:04:36
Speaker
the Fit Found project birthed the game of this world. Yeah, for sure. It was really cool, like I said, to watch that because that's something that I would love to do with my brand and everything and to have and be open to having people
00:04:53
Speaker
Run certain parts of it right it's your baby. You gotta like kind of give trust to people yeah, yeah, and But I know that like there are people who are interested in doing that and so that's where it's kind of like I'm in this like
00:05:08
Speaker
transition, but not transition phase.
Reflections and Aspirations for Brand Growth
00:05:11
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? Of hiring more people. Yeah, to have people like under me and stuff and like to be able to, to, to work within the brand, you know? And, uh, and so, cause just even looking at that expo and stuff, I'm just like, man, you know, uh, there were so many different facets where like, Oh, it would have been great to have this person there or have this person, you know, or whatever. And, uh, so yeah, but no, but my ambassadors are great. My clients are great. You know, they're all so funny. They're just like,
00:05:37
Speaker
They're so helpful and they're so amazing. Um, but like, you know, everybody's walking around whole, like they're all sitting there at the booth. And so they're all in dating, like y'all like y'all got to walk around, walk around, spread apart, spread apart. Don't be too, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, exactly. So, but now they came out and then the, you know, I had clients that come from, came from different states, like online program clients.
00:05:59
Speaker
And that was cool, and that was really
Body-Positive Movement and Future Plans
00:06:01
Speaker
special. So no, it was definitely a great time. And that was my last big event before my personal bodybuilding shows that I'm competing in. When are you competing next? August. August? The Nashville Fit Show? So I'm sponsoring the Nashville Fit Show again and doing it. And then the week before, I'm doing the chat show. So it's a stage show. Oh, Chattanooga. I was like, chat? Yeah. Chat? Yeah.
00:06:22
Speaker
Yeah, this fake show. Okay, cool. Yeah, I'm actually interviewing Whitney soon. Yeah, and I've never met her. So that'll be really funny. So it was like, tell me a little bit about her story. And I'm like, yes, WTF. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, so what started your body positive, like movement? What's that? What was the genesis of that?
00:06:41
Speaker
because I love it. I was like, that's like, the name of your podcast is like genius. How does it not already exist? Did you think that when you were starting it, like how does it, how is this such a good name and it doesn't, like how am I getting this? You know? Yeah. I mean, I think it was really,
00:06:58
Speaker
It's because so many people try to over elaborate or over. Just no one keeps anything simple and like real these days. I feel like, you know, cause I want to stand out so much. I differentiate and like with your dating fitness, you know, first started out with like my whole, my main slogan.
00:07:18
Speaker
You know everyone always ask like do you was it get your movement in or you know with a fight for which one was it first whatever. And I feel like it was always fight for what you want was a presence there and then can get your movement and then came love your body. So a lot of people are like oh look love your body was how it started. A lot of stepping stones. But yes yeah because I was so movement focused back in the day and I still am obviously movement is my life.
00:07:41
Speaker
Um, and a part in for my clients and stuff, but you know, it wasn't, you know, it, it was really when I had like gotten out of Franklin and like, because there was so much like,
00:07:53
Speaker
I mean, I have to be rude, but like nonsense, like, you know, plastic surgery and all these different things. And like rich part of Nashville. Yes, exactly. For those that listening, they don't know. Yeah. The bougie part. Like, though, I mean, it's the eighth wealthiest, you know, county in the world. So like, Williamson. No way. So it was one of those. There's rich housewives.
00:08:12
Speaker
Franklin yeah, and I mean and I got I was very blessed I will say I still have some of those clients from there that still train with me but to get the good people in there and But it was hard because yeah, I'm sitting over here being like
00:08:26
Speaker
You know, let's love our body throughout this. And they're like, no, no, I just want to get a sky and and why, or, you know, you know, or I'm really like, and so it was just one of those things where they're like, I could just do like liposuction. It's like, okay, then go do it. You know what I mean? But like, again, you want to be again. So it's like, it was so hard for me because I was 24. You're starting that out. And so it's like, you know, kind of trying to stick to my truth and my ground of like, no, like you can love your body throughout this. Like you don't, the goal is when you work with me, like we're not trying to look like XYZ.
00:08:53
Speaker
We're trying to be the best that you can be so when they would come in and say I want to like so-and-so his wife or so-and-so whatever I'm like I don't care about that person would say that they want to look like this person Yes, and so I realized there was so much toxicity in that and I had gotten that from the gym that I had worked at before I started my business and and and I was housed in that like all the time and
00:09:12
Speaker
And I was treated very poorly because of how I looked. And so it was one of those where, you know, I didn't look at stereotypical trainer. I was bigger than all the girls and I still was fit. I was still running half marathons. I was still working out three to four hours. You don't understand. Literally. And so when people started saying that, they're like, Oh, okay. Maybe she knows what she's talking about. Like, this is crazy. You couldn't just walk in and people take you seriously. A hundred percent. And so that was where it was always so frustrating because I mean, there was comments said to me like,
00:09:42
Speaker
all the time where it was a double standard of everything from what I wore to how I did things and whatever. And so it was always so frustrating. And so I finally was like, you know what, I'm going to stick to what I know and I don't care if I fail. I don't care whatever happens, but I'm just going to showcase that you can love yourself at any size throughout this journey and still get to where you want to get to. And so that's where I became really had to sit with like loving myself and
00:10:10
Speaker
And, um, stand out amongst, you know, the, the, you know, I'm in a personal training studio at that time where there's three other men and it's me, you know what I mean? They've been in this business. They've been doing this thing, you know, all these, this deal, right? And, um, and so I had to stand out and be different and in my own way. And so that was, you know, I learned a lot being there. And it wasn't until I saw a friend on Instagram post about, he was at a personal training studio in Nashville.
00:10:35
Speaker
And when I saw that, I was like, man, I wonder how the Nashville clientele would be all the time. I'm living in Murfreesboro, right? And so I'm driving, you know, every day to Franklin back and forth, whatever hour, like just spending 16 hour days work, you know, breaks in between just craziness and, uh, and just building this brand. And, you know, as I realized, okay, maybe Nashville will be a good idea. So I'm kind of lacking on to the days of the week. So I'll go up there for Nashville, you know,
00:10:59
Speaker
So I had to kind of interview, be accepted, and then became like the first full-time female trainer there at that gym that I'm at now, because they always had like part-time and women never stayed. So it's like 16 men and like- Oh, I wonder why like women didn't stay. You know what I mean? Not really any women. And so I was like, all right, if I'm coming, I'm coming there. And this is where I got a strong man. So they kind of knew of me too. So they're like, okay, this girl's like lifting heavy. She's doing stuff like, all right, respect. And so,
00:11:24
Speaker
It was almost like I had already proved myself via that way and then kind of like, you know, got in. So I get in there. So I'm now training in Franklin and in Nashville. And so I'm dealing with different types of clientele, different types of people. I'm driving them back to Murphy's world every night. I mean, I'm being pulled. Yes. And I'm being pulled every which way. And, um, you know, and then I'm also trying to love myself through strong man and doing all these things where, and it really, that helped empower me to even more. So it was the first time when I did movement.
00:11:51
Speaker
where no one cared what my weight was or how I looked. And they just like took me for where I was at. And same with my trainer. Like he was the only one I went to so many classes. I went to berries, I went to orange theory.
00:12:03
Speaker
I didn't, because I used to put on fitness festivals. And so I put, so I would go in secret shop essentially and audition people for like, if they would be part of my event, if they would be a good enough teacher to teach at my events. Cause I would showcase different formats. So there'd be like a 5k yoga, bootcamp, all the stuff. And, um, anyway, we raised money for St. Jude doing those events.
00:12:24
Speaker
And so started that in 2017. Anyway, um, from there, you know, it was one of those things where like after, um, like I would go to all these classes and they would always give me lightweights. They'd always assume. And again, I was no way obese. I was, I was fit, but like not in the way that they saw. Right. And so for me, it was one of those where it was like, dang, like I just, I just want to be given some heavy weights and like taken seriously, you know? So I found a trainer and he was so great and he's still my trainer and Matt.
00:12:52
Speaker
Aquiston and um, and so he's mobile. So like I go to him We made a park and we just like me whatever but we started doing strongman and I told him I was like look I was like come this competition with me compete cuz you know, I'll just come watch like no do it with me I'd eat that support like let's do this together. We both end up winning after that go to another competition one got qualified for Nationals we go to Nationals crushed a I got middle I got 15th like in the country and so then after that
00:13:18
Speaker
End up start. Thank you. Yes, and then I end up starting over again Because basically like if you don't make it to the Arnold you start your whole you're over again So then we go to the next competition Yeah when and then go to another you so and then I got Nashville Strongest Woman in 2019 and that's ruffled that tire and
00:13:34
Speaker
And so yeah, so it was like, so all this is happening, you know, and then my brand starts growing, gets more recognition, whatever. But anyway, I'm still being pulled to Nashville, or to Nashville, Franklin, whatever. Well, pandemic happens. And I was actually supposed to so I was the first and only female chosen, but
00:13:51
Speaker
um body positive influencer for connect nashville it's a high rise in midtown yeah so before that was even built they found my website reached out to me hey we love what you're doing i thought it was fake so i was like deleting emails and whatever yeah that was like something about this is right so i just like meet in the back with this girl like at the back of my gym like kind of ratchet eating i was like hey it's like what's this thing about
00:14:09
Speaker
She's like, oh, like we want you to live here for free. And like, we want to like, yeah. And we just like want you to like, I was like, well, how much do I have to post? Like, well, what's the deal? What's the catch? Like, they're like, they're like one time. And I was like, oh, like a day. And they're like, no, like a month. And I was like, yes, where do I sign? You know what I mean? Like, I was like, because I'm driving from Murfreesboro. And then I was like, and where is this place going to be? And they're like, oh, it's right over here. And I was like, so you're like less than a mile from where my gym is at. So I'm thinking I'm already trying to get out of Franklin. So I'm like,
00:14:38
Speaker
Dude, cars make stars a light. Yes. And I was just like, this is like a God thing for me. Like this was a mate. I've been manifesting because my clients were like, dang, you need to buy house pressure. And you know, they, they wanted me to be my best, but they're like, you need to get your parents house. You're 26 years old. You know, you gotta, you gotta get out. And I was like, no, I said, I'm not going to pay to live in Nashville. And they're like, well, don't you need to pay to live in Franklin? I looked at it. It's so fucking expensive. Yes. Oh, and my, it was 365 square feet is what I got.
00:15:04
Speaker
It's probably yes, but again free so like whatever but it was basically this room and a bathroom But but I was like it would be mine and and so for me, um, I was just like dang This is such an awesome opportunity, but I didn't believe it was gonna happen So I went I walked past there every day watching it be built Watching it be building and this is like so now we're at 2020. I'm supposed to move in in April of 2020. Oh well two weeks prior Pandemic happens. Yeah
00:15:33
Speaker
So my gym in Nashville, they're like, we got to shut down for a couple months and basically close our doors. The gym in Franklin was like, ah, we kind of like whatever, you know, like, yeah. So I kind of still was training there. But then like, really, I was like, guys, I'm just gonna go virtual. Let's all do this. So I actually, my, my contract with them connect got extended to July. So they didn't let me move into July because the building wasn't gonna be ready. And I was like, that's fine. I just turned 27. It all worked out how it's supposed to.
00:15:59
Speaker
point is, is that pandemic allowed me the time to spend with my family. And I didn't get to have the best time growing up with my mom because of just how she viewed my body and stuff like that.
00:16:13
Speaker
She always wanted me to be my best and have an easier life, right? But that consisted of like dieting and like all these other things. The toxic, like what she knew back in the 70s or 80s. Right. And I was a competitive dancer. So like, you know, I was always like the best humbler, the best jumper, the best leaper, whatever, but I didn't look the best. Right. So I got the most like powerhouse awards, like strong awards, but never like
00:16:38
Speaker
And like, yeah, yeah, those things. And I was like, but I am beautiful. Like, I don't understand. Like, you know, why can't I be both? Yeah, why is always the other. So I always struggle with that because, you know, a lot of people, I think they're they're struggle with love in their body comes from
00:16:53
Speaker
you know, truly not like loving themselves, but it's like, it's because of the here like externally, like things ever since print media, like existed, right? Well, and for me, I was like, no, I do love myself, like, and even no matter what way it was wherever and that but what made me start questioning it was what everyone else had a problem with it.
00:17:12
Speaker
Why did everybody like why did why do you care that I'm eating a double cheeseburger right now? Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I was like, is it gonna affect you at all? And exactly and so that's where I became so frustrating so then that's when I started questioning it because I put on weight around the time of like 14 because I had to go on steroids for acid reflux and
00:17:31
Speaker
They didn't know better back in the day, put me on there for like nine months. So my body had a pivotal time when I was, cause I was like pretty straight, pretty like, not real curves, but like small. I was too until my period hit, I went sideways, like, yeah. Yeah, they start, you know, developing into a woman. So not only am I developing into a woman, but then you got the excess weight, it's about 20 pounds, but the doctor, never forget him saying like, don't worry, the weight will come off fast. So he said to my mom, he did not know, meanwhile, I'm eating ramen noodles every day, two, two liters of soda a day. No one talked to me cause nobody cared when I was smaller bodied.
00:18:00
Speaker
Nobody cared that I tried. Right. And exactly. And I was like winning at competitions and all that was great. But I was literally throwing up every day and was late to school and throwing up acting on purpose or no, because it has to be okay. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, you got to ask us like that is a disorder as well. But so basically, you know, I'm it's affecting my quality of life. You know, I can't eat. I can't whatever. So that's why we got me on that medication stuff or whatever.
00:18:29
Speaker
And when all that happened, you know, I then had to deal with the fact that people treated me differently from friends to guys to school to like, you know, and so I over compensated with OK, so, you know, I guess it's my body or this or that or whatever. And that's where I started getting frustrated because I'm hearing all this external voices and whatever. And so, you know, I never like I started to hate myself, essentially, come to college and whatever.
00:18:56
Speaker
But it was just because it was like, I just don't see why nobody can see how great I am because I don't look like this person to that person, but you know, or it's not enough curves or it's not enough. All these things, right? And so it was always so frustrating. So, you know, it wasn't until, um, when I got back to my, when I was in college at sophomore year that I decided to become a group fitness instructor as the heaviest one.
00:19:21
Speaker
but I got the job, $9 an hour teaching class. And then when I was certified, it was like 11. And I started teaching classes, it became one of the best instructors I ever had. And my classes were packed, I'm teaching move fit, which is, you know, not move fit, but back in the day, like cardio dance or whatever I called it. And, you know, and it was just like, I started, like that was where I felt my sexiest. That's where I felt my most beautiful in front of all these people, but in the mirror, but it was just like me and me. I'm helping all these people, but it was like me and me. And then when I stepped out of that room,
00:19:48
Speaker
It was like I went back to just whatever one told me that I was. And so that's why I clung to movement. And that's why I try to explain to people now that like movement will help you love yourself more. Not the act of getting smaller or, you know, being, you know, whatever size or whatever goal weight you wanted to be, but the act of movement and loving yourself in that moment when you just felt
00:20:11
Speaker
You know, it didn't matter. It didn't matter that I saw roles or I saw whatever. All I saw was beauty, like in my mind. And that's where I felt safe. And even like at the expo, I almost like teared up and stuff because just to have that moment where I stood on stage and I'm like, man, this journey, this rod over the past, you know, 12 years of my healthy lifestyle journey and like looking at it.
00:20:32
Speaker
And these people like loving move fit, understanding the mission and feeling right now what I felt alone, right? And to just be able to share that. And then even the external people that were watching and dancing at their booths and the guys being like, dang, like Danny's doing it for like an hour. Like army people right behind me. Oh my gosh. I know. I told them before we got started, I was like, I want to know some, like, you know, brought them over some fight. I was like,
00:20:56
Speaker
You're gonna have like, you know, 20 girls like shaking their booty in front of you. And then they were, they literally were like, yeah, this sounds great. And I'm like, I was, I didn't know your booth was gonna be right there. Like, I had no idea. Yeah, exactly. So everybody's shaking my, I'm like, well, and have fun with that. But again, it showcased, you know, for everyone else, two other sponsors and people that maybe didn't know me, but only know me through social media. And it showed them that like, oh, that bodybuilder girl, oh, that strong woman girl. Oh, she's up there dancing now. Oh, like this, you know,
00:21:24
Speaker
You're not you you were not justified. It's so easy for us to pick Oh Caitlin the podcaster. Yeah, they know like yeah the box exactly and I have continually Worked to allow you know a space where my women my men like that I train with me Can feel like they're never gonna be put in a box based on how they look like I take them where they're at Whatever their goals are like this is so much bigger
00:21:50
Speaker
than just weight loss and so in a very long way and drawn out way of explaining you know that that is where you know the the movement element was so key because it helped lead to loving yourself more um and then the fight for what you want that was that's my part of my triangle that's like the consistency part of why we keep going because we remember that fight and a lot of times like Whitney and you know friends they'll always say like what's your why what's your why
00:22:15
Speaker
Yeah, you can look at the why, right? It's the same type of thing. You're just saying it differently. Cause for me, like I'm a little bit more aggressive. I'm more aggressive. You know what I mean? It's online. I'll be fighting. Like, you know, because it is like, you know, like if I'm in lane in bed and sounds like what's your why I'm like, Oh, like I want to be my best self and I want to win and I want to, whatever you, you want to be, but I'm like,
00:22:34
Speaker
Nah, I gotta fight to get my ass up out of this bed right now, like to walk 20 feet to my home shed that I now have, you know what I mean? And then like to be able to like do my stairs and whatever, because again, it doesn't come naturally. And I think that I was always taught and people are told constantly over time and time again, and they've seen it on Instagram and seen everywhere that like, like, oh, it'll just be like easy one day, just to wake up, you know, just like love this.
00:22:57
Speaker
I love how I feel after my stares, but before I do them, I'm not my best self. You know what I mean? I know that. When people ask me if I can train them at 5am, I'm like, not this, because that's when I'm doing my cardio, but I'm showing you at six. No, that's when I'm sleeping. But you know what I mean? But I know myself, and it's always like, movement makes me better. Loving myself, as silly as it sounds in a basic form, because people can be like, oh yeah, I love myself, but truly loving,
00:23:25
Speaker
Throughout every part then the bad the good the this that I'm like right now girl I tell you like I am like at my lowest like I'm talking like drug out like Exhausted, you know, I just went to a funeral yesterday for a friend like I mean, I'm you know Just tired I you know been up since 430 to get to back here because I stayed in the burrow and whatever into train clients had consults and you know again talking to people and being like
00:23:54
Speaker
I can explain to you everything I'm gonna do for you but like this is a mission this is a this is something greater than just okay I'm gonna program a workout for you yeah you know what I mean and so it's like you won't be a part of the mission like let's go but like if not I got things to go do
00:24:11
Speaker
And my people get that and they respect it and and it is a special is a special thing. So I am very grateful for The people that have come into my life, you know, whether that's been sponsors that's been friends Let me like with connect that opened up a huge, you know a huge door for me To just be able to let go of my Franklin studio and come up here be here in Nashville be present Yeah, it saved time. It saved money. That was something that I will be forever grateful for
00:24:40
Speaker
Jenna was the name of the woman who found my website and she had just like looked online. This is before my video went viral, before any of it. And just for her to believe in me pre that was super cool. That is yeah. That was a lot to unpack here.
00:24:58
Speaker
I'm like trying to keep tabs in my brain like, I need to say that I should ask this. No, I relate to that so much because like our body types are really similar. Yeah. And like I said earlier, before I got my I mean, I got my period at like 10. Yeah, like early bird here. And I remember being in junior high with
00:25:16
Speaker
these tits, and having my period, I looked 25, just didn't act like it. But girls would be like, I look at my period. I'm like, no, you're not a girl. I'm like, boy, you're in right now. This is horrible. But yeah, I was a stick figure growing up before my period. And my mom, so I have three older brothers, family of boys. And of course, they don't really have to do much.
00:25:46
Speaker
I don't know why God loves them more, but. Yeah, Eve, yeah. I know. So I just remember my mom was really concerned for me when I got my period, because I gained weight so fast. I just went sideways. I stopped getting, I was taller than my brothers for a while. And she was like, I thought you were going to have like her mother's body with like the tall lean ballerina figure. And she idolized that. And I remember,
00:26:15
Speaker
I love my mother so much, but thank God I didn't get her insecurities. Because I grew up around men. Men, exactly. Love themselves and think they're the shit. I'm like, yeah, so am I. I don't care what I look like. No, 100%. Yeah, and so I remember...
00:26:32
Speaker
What was it? She was getting remarried. And I lived here, I've lived here for a while. And she called me crying one day. Cause she went wedding dress shopping with my sister-in-laws. And they're like, Sally, try on this dress, it'll look good. Try this dress on. And she's like, no, it won't look good because of, she's super insecure about her arms. Cause she's muscular. I have my mom's body and also my dad's side of the family. Like just muscular family.
00:27:01
Speaker
And the first thing I noticed about you, I saw you, I was like, dang. I mean, how do you not? No, but like, it was such a, like a strong attribute. Yeah, thank you. I love it. But yeah, so she has these muscles, she could beat my brothers in armwrestles for the longest time. It was so funny. Anyway, so she calls me crying because my sister-in-law's, my brother's wives wanted her to try on this dress. And she's like, no, my arms will look like this. It's just not a good
00:27:25
Speaker
but she caves and tries it on and she goes out in front of them and they're like, oh, we see what you mean. And so she's crying, she's like, I just want, you know, she wants the ballerina. She's like, why can't I just look like this or that? And I'm like, mommy, I love you so much, but that will never be your body. And she just started laughing. It was like, mom, get over it. That's not gonna be how you look. And so she was prepping for her wedding.
00:27:55
Speaker
she started doing CrossFit with my twin brother. Excuse me. And the guy was like,
00:28:03
Speaker
like trying to get her goals. And so she was like, I don't want to gain muscle. And the guy who looked at her super confused, like, excuse me? Like we're at a CrossFit studio. So she started training for this CrossFit and she looked the best she ever looked because she was gaining muscle. And she's like, I just look too muscular. And they're wedding pictures. Like she could see her back muscles or whatnot. And she hated that. See, I love that.
00:28:30
Speaker
yeah i love that that's the best i really want to do you want to pause real quick yeah okay let's pause all right we're back so what i was gonna say is what i love about that story about your mom is that you were just like mom like you're not gonna look like that and you just kept your real with her yeah you know and then she like laughs so it's like it's it's this unreasonable unrealistic standard that we have put on ourselves
00:28:53
Speaker
that it just blows my mind, you know what I'm saying? And that still to this day, people think that they can look like a certain other body. And especially in the bodybuilding world, everyone's like, ah, that queen, that queen, that queen. I'm like, it's great to have people that you look up to and inspiration. And I love that if people look up to me and like, oh, we're like, whatever. You should see all the tits and ass on my Instagram for inspiration. Right, but again, me telling myself, oh, I'm gonna look like XYZ,
00:29:19
Speaker
is a disservice to myself because I'm taking away from what I was given like what I was born with you know and how you know much I can capitalize on that you know I mean because I always would look at academic man
00:29:34
Speaker
on the base on this and that for dance you know and i was like so frustrating that so this and whatever but you know what i mean like because it was i was never the one that was like lifted up or you know held to do the handsets where you know i could do all those things like you know i had the jumps to get me up there but nobody's strong enough to lift me up right so it was just like well so i have to suffer because y'all aren't strong enough to pick me up losers but you see what i mean though yeah and so i always had to lift up the girls and stuff and so i never got that moment even
00:30:02
Speaker
I remember some of them with my late boyfriend before he passed and stuff. We were all doing straw man and stuff and he had lifted me over his head. And that was such a beautiful moment. I just dropped an egg. But seriously, I'd always said that I wanted to be with somebody that could lift me up.
00:30:20
Speaker
and you know not to be like dirty about it or whatever but it was just like imagine if you're a Bonnaroo or if you're like at a concert or or whatever and you know how cool would it be to be with somebody like put me on their shoulders or literally physically lift me over their head and that was such a cool like thing
00:30:37
Speaker
And you know and so now it's funny when people are like, oh like you you're looking for somebody in like a puddle essentially because it you know And I say my quote-unquote criteria right of people. It's like again. I have high standards, but I I was kind of in a weird like bubble with like strong man where I was like I want a really strong guy people are daily most many lift in that way and I was like oh
00:30:59
Speaker
I mean, I'm around R, but it was. I was in a subset, right? So I get that. And now I don't look as heavy. So I'm sure the men that I would talk to or date or whatever can live more than me now. And so they don't have to deal with that complex. But I did have to deal with that work. I was like, so how much you lived in or like how much you make in or, you know, oh, you have a house. So, you know, it's always looked at as a downward thing, right?
00:31:21
Speaker
but it would be so cool to have someone that celebrates those things and is also like, but also I'm confident enough and can lift you up. Like, you know, and can do those similar things and like level, like be on that same level. Yeah. You know, so I think keep the standards high. Like, yeah, no, for sure. But it's just all that to say that it's like, so why, you know, if I'm putting all this out there and these standards of people around me and the quality of friends and like whatever,
00:31:49
Speaker
then why would I want to diminish my body by saying I want to look like some girl on Instagram or somebody else on the street or whatever that has a totally different body type that I will never adhere to or ever come through?
00:32:01
Speaker
Just focus on being my best and even in my lowest when I was young I was like, you know Yeah, maybe their life may seem quote-unquote easier or they don't have to worry about getting Dressed, you know, like like I would change into 20 different outfits and I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror I had a giant mirror in my dance room Yeah, but I never could look at it unless I was doing movement so I would just I would I I probably didn't look at myself naked
00:32:23
Speaker
until I was like 20. Yeah. I mean, I would say 19 years old, I guess. Really? Well, 20 years. When I was starting, I already started in my healthy lifestyle journey. You know what I mean? Because I would just like, you get to the point where you're like, what's the point? Like, you know, or you feel so closed off because everyone else has judged you or said something about you. And
00:32:44
Speaker
whatever and I couldn't stop the negative thoughts at that point you know as a teen and whatever and so now you know it's a beautiful moment when I can finally do that and embrace it even with my bumps and my scars and things and whatever
00:33:00
Speaker
That are not the best, you know that are kind of frustrating that we deal with this women hormonal acne and whatever and still look at it and be like but damn girl like You know what I mean? And so but that takes time and that takes work and that takes so much and you know, so that's where this whole
00:33:19
Speaker
Unrealistic expectations. However, it's just like if we can let go of it and we can focus on loving our body throughout and so many people I even had some on the podcast recently and he was like, oh, it's just such a What's it ways like such a basic question? Like what do you love your body about your body? I'm like
00:33:36
Speaker
But he was like, why would you have me that? Well, it basically like was saying that like, he was like, well, are you gonna love it tomorrow or you're not gonna love it the next day? Where I'm like, that's what I'm saying. You gotta understand that coming from most females and a lot of men too. It's like when you ask them what they love the right and it's even opening up that question. When I interviewed people on Broadway about it, they were literally like, I'd never been asked that question before. Oh, yeah. Like you 30 years old, you 40 years old, six years old in your life and nobody's asked you what you love by yourself.
00:34:05
Speaker
That makes me so sad. Do you see what I'm saying though? Because it's just like, oh, I'm just a dude or I'm just taller. It's like you identify about that, but then you don't find any other qualities about yourself. That's great. You know, I'm seeing these beautiful girls and like, well, my hair, whatever. And I'm like,
00:34:21
Speaker
Braga pick out so many things about you. Right. And you know, one thing that I've noticed, because I've always been, of course, we all have our insecure days. And loving your body does not equal feeling perfect all the time. Exactly. So, um, Oh crap, I lost my train of thought. Yeah. So it's incredible how
00:34:43
Speaker
people will put on a lens of how they view you when you have that confidence. Where they don't see that scar or cellulite that you would probably feel insecure about tomorrow or the day before. But when you walk in the room with that confidence, that's why I love being a type eight. You just walk in and people just like,
00:35:06
Speaker
They seem to be blind to all this because they see this, like, self-assured, confident, assertive woman and so many dudes from that sexy. Right? Right, guys? Well, I would hope that they did. Where y'all at? I don't know. No, listen to this podcast.
00:35:21
Speaker
Shoot, they need to be, they need to be researching everywhere. Like, I put myself naked basically on a billboard, like, and they still ain't, you know, like. I love that photo. Thank you. Annette McNamara was my photographer and she's fantastic, another strong female. And she's always done my photos and stuff like that. But that day, that was actually the same day that I moved into Connect.
00:35:49
Speaker
so it was a very special moment, but it also, it was around my birthday, and I actually had already been injured from the strongman accident and stuff like that, like injury, and so my leg was numb. So when we did that, I was like, look, I'm gonna do the best I can to get this jump, you know what I mean? Because that was like my favorite dance jump that I did growing up, because back then, my toes would touch my head, and I was like full of back, you know what I mean? And that was like my signature move.
00:36:18
Speaker
Well, this I was like, this is definitely not like my legs if you look at it are much lower than that, whatever. But I did the best that I could with my injury with my back and stuff. And I just did it. And that was the picture she took was the first one we did. But this is this is what's crazy about it. Look, I literally, I literally looked at the photo and they got some naked because I didn't do it with it. So we had to edit that. I want to make shots. So we had to edit the bando and this and the band thong on because
00:36:47
Speaker
the people were not gonna allow it on. Right. And I was like, but you know, there's words covering it and whatever. It's very tasteful. And they're like, yeah, but like, she's not appropriate. I'm like, there's a man on his with a speedo. That's like on there. Yeah, exactly. Yes. And I'm like, and this is an ad for the Virgin Hotels. But why is it different? Yeah. And anyway, and that goes into also when we put up this photo up on Instagram, like it got taken down. But then when my friends put it up,
00:37:12
Speaker
It did not get taken down. So then it was I had to get like camaraderie side ambassadors that everyone posts about it So finally Instagram let it stay up there. So that was accepted the photo But do you see I'm saying and again, why is that not because I wasn't so far a porn site But I wasn't so far obese, but I also wasn't so thin bikini. I'm in this weird in between Yeah, we're like in a lot of people call like the midsize Queens or whatever but but even before that it was just like
00:37:36
Speaker
it still was never gonna be accepted in any form, you know? Right? And so that's where I was like, but when I looked at that first photo, I was like, oh, I could do better. That was like my own personality coming out. Like, well, yeah. And then when I looked back at it, I was like, when we looked at all of them, I'm like, the first one.
00:37:56
Speaker
yeah that was it you know what i mean though but that's where we're so critical versus so hard and i was like oh i look like ugly no i felt beautiful regardless but but i was like oh maybe i could do this over my feet i was like i could get back more but my injury and i was battling that so but again movement saved me and allowed me to realize like no like this is something that you're capable and you look strong you look beautiful and
00:38:20
Speaker
this should be celebrated and like you know i want to ask about i'm just kinda like how you grew up relating to this because i remember from your podcast you we had like similar backgrounds with Christianity yeah so like what was that like growing up because like for me i remember if i it took forever to find a bathing suit
00:38:42
Speaker
when the summertime we have to be the tankini, cover the tits, long enough to cover the ass, like all this stuff and how we get so discouraged. I'm like, mom, I remember one time it ended up being pretty funny, but I was so mad when we were looking through these bikinis or bathing suits. And I was like, I picked up a granny bathing suit. I was like, why don't I just wear this? And she just died laughing. I was so mad. But even if I, when I would go to a friend's house for the pool,
00:39:10
Speaker
And I would wear this bathing suit that my mother picked out. Yeah. And I would be asked to put on a t-shirt. Yeah. You're still made to feel like it's a issue. Yeah. What was that like for you? Um, well, because I wasn't blessed with like a huge chest and I never had that definitely put me back. But yeah. So because I was so like straight and like small, essentially up until I, you know, had the eating and stuff with the, as a reflex,
00:39:38
Speaker
It was one of those things where at my Christian school and whatever, I mean, you, there was never a chance to be able to wear a bathing suit. We always wore t-shirts and shorts in the pool. Like it was not, you weren't allowed.
00:39:50
Speaker
And so I was very Southern Baptist, but when I was with my friends and outside of that, yeah, I'd have the one piece, I'd have the whatever, like, and even with dance, with competitions, it actually allowed me to, like, you know, we would have, we're a little bit of our stomach with show, or we have, you know, our shoulders would show, like, so I got acclimated to that. And my parents are not, like, they, I went to a Southern Baptist school, but they're not Southern Baptists. Like, so it was not like I was in a house, like, where I'm like,
00:40:16
Speaker
You know, no if I wanted to like read the Bible and have devotional before a meal or something Like I was with friends from the school or like with my teacher or whoever was watching me or whatever After school because my mom traveled and my dad worked all the time. So no and then I was going to Competition dance practices with people who were at all public schools. So I had a really beautiful
00:40:39
Speaker
outlook because I had different I had so many different varieties of people. Okay, from like the wealthy to the not to the you know, people that were Catholic and middle class to and Christian and so they're about to like all the different extremes. So I looked kind of like a hellion to them because my hair was getting cut. You know, we're we kind of did some like lemon juice highlights. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Because I competed on stage. I wore fake eyelashes. I mean, I'm down here in Nashville at TPAC wearing
00:41:08
Speaker
fishnets, booty shorts, and a jacket at 10 years old. And people thinking, I'm 20 years old. So again, I got to experience all that. My mom never made me feel bad about that. I never felt bad about anything like that.
00:41:21
Speaker
It really was not until I got told, or when I started putting on weight, that everybody was hypersensitive and started really coming at me. So with the, and even with the religious stuff, I went to school, middle school in sixth grade or whatever. So around, yeah, like 11, 12 years old, I guess. And so I got out of Christian school at probably the worst time, but also the best time, if that makes sense. Because I had to be like,
00:41:50
Speaker
Basically accepted into this middle school where everyone had know each other since there was their dog Yeah, I try to navigate that and then boys in my classroom and stuff because I was only personally in my grade Okay, you know watching I'm basically homeschooled at this school You know doing sign language riding horses doing piano lessons like the other day. I mean it was exceptional. I loved it, but you know, I They always kind of came at me about like dancing in the sin and I was like no movement is my outlet. Yeah
00:42:18
Speaker
And that means a child, right? But no, it was, you're going to hell for dance. And so I had to deal with that at a young age, but I was also like, no, if this is something that brings me to where I think this is- Do you like crazy the contradictions that you experienced growing up? Like this is you center, but then like, it's giving you so many good-
00:42:37
Speaker
Yes, exactly. And that's where I knew in my heart that I was like, I can't listen to external sources. So I do think that that school prepped me for dealing with everything that happened later on, that it was almost like I can't deal with external sources.
00:42:53
Speaker
And again, like it wasn't that I internally hated myself. It's just that because so many people kept telling me like, you know, this way, or you need to be on the side or you can do this, whatever, that I finally started changed my mindset, but it didn't change like my identity that like, no, like I really do love myself, but like you think that I shouldn't. So now I need to kind of become a people pleaser and like fix my life or because to adhere to you. And then you learn very quickly that
00:43:19
Speaker
Another you know as you grow up that those people you cared so much about their opinions and so much about what they they thought was best for you ever that really They didn't know any better and that they are not to that you can't allow them to dictate your life Yeah, you know and as soon as I let go of that concept and and told my mom and we had a very Abrupt conversation that I was like, I never want to talk about food and like dieting again. I
00:43:44
Speaker
to with her. Because I was canoeing outside the store, I was doing I was canoeing with friends, a bunch of guys and whatever. And you know, I felt kind of insecure about you know, my bathing suit and whatever I was in like that. And I was on this diet, where you got shots and stuff like that, like in your booty and like all this stuff, whatever. Anyway,
00:44:01
Speaker
It was like a birthday present and I was supposed to all I could eat was tuna and green beans Well, they're all Hispanic friends of mine. So they're all having like gourmet I mean you have the tacos the edge a lot of food in the world on the river Drinking beer and here I am with my and green beans at this point. I'm like older I mean, I'm like in college now like so I'm I'm like
00:44:21
Speaker
i guess 18 and you know whatever and i'm just like frustrated because i'm like what in the world you know what i'm saying and then at this point too i so i got into a dance college i made it into a dance college i was in la um and i had applied via video okay no one thought i was gonna get in i get accepted and then my parents like yeah and then my parents are like yeah like you're not going you're 17 like
00:44:45
Speaker
You have no money. So first they're like, she's not getting in. Oh crap. She got it. You're not going. Yeah. And it wasn't really the, I guess that they thought I was going to get in. I thought they thought, I think it was other people that more so might get to like, but then they're like, well, you don't have any money. I'm like, well yeah, I've been dancing my whole life. Like I figured it out. You see what I'm saying? Like I literally would go from school to then dance. Like that's why I like with the boyfriends or whatever I had in high school and stuff like that. I had no time for them. I remember being like, look, I have no time for you on the phone because it'd be like 10 o'clock. I'm like, I have homework. Like I've been at dances three 30 till nine.
00:45:14
Speaker
I have homework, I have quizzes, I have tests, whatever, you're irrelevant. And that's how I kind of viewed them, you know what I mean? And I hate it, but like, but that's funny, you know? And so and I had like competitions on the weekend, and then I'd be throwing parties at my house on the weekend, I didn't have competitions. And anyway, so I'm doing all these things, all these schedules and whatever. And then to then, you know, work so hard, and then be told, like, you're not doing that, I was like, cool, then
00:45:37
Speaker
Y'all can take care of my schooling like in terms of payment whatever and like just tell me where you want me to go because my dreams have been crushed so it's very very negative about it and but basically they're like choose between MTSU or UT and my half sister went to UT so they're like just go you'll be like see for sorority whatever
00:45:53
Speaker
So I go with friends up there and I stop dancing. I threw away all my shoes. I was so dramatic about it, right? Well, anyway, so I don't move the whole year and I put on a bunch of weight. I come back home for the summer and this is around this time.
00:46:09
Speaker
And when I go canoeing with my friends, you know, no one says anything about the weight, whatever, but they're all like, you know, drinking and having fun, whatever. And I actually end up basically like passing out in the canoe because I'm on tuna and green beans and 400 calories in a day. And the heat. And the heat. Yeah. So so basically, I was like, I'm gonna go to my best friend Jared at the time. And he danced with me. He was like my gay best friend. And I was like, we're gonna go get Mexican food. So I told mom, hey, put some money on my account. Yeah, I don't have a job.
00:46:34
Speaker
Put some money on my account. I'm on my head to whatever. And she was like, no, I have your green beans and tuna. Look at the house. And I was like, no. So I popped off.
00:46:43
Speaker
Oh, I would too. Like that kind of anger when you're hungry and deprived. Yes. Like I said, been out all day long, straying for the sun. And you know, they had all had McDonald's on the way back. I hadn't eaten and I was just like, bro, I want some freaking Mexican food with my friend. And I knew we could get margaritas at this place because they had an ID. So I was like, answer margaritas. Well, she wouldn't do it. So I was like, jerk, can you pay for me? And he was like, I got you. So we go, we do all that. But basically that talk after that, we did not have another conversation about it. Okay.
00:47:11
Speaker
And it was awesome because she did, she got the hint, like it was good, whatever. Six months later, I took it upon myself to become a group fitness instructor, start on this like healthy lifestyle program or whatever.
00:47:26
Speaker
back in the day, advocate, and start with that to kind of a guide of like, how do I eat? How do I learn? What do we know I do? So now I got the movement part, well now I'm trying to learn, you know, making $11 an hour, paying all my money towards that, like everything is just going back into like supplements and all this stuff to help me learn. Teaching, now I'm teaching my classes at the bottom of Panhellenic, sorority functions at, you know, raising money, doing fitness events for, you know, to help kids be healthy, like doing so many things in this realm while still being my heaviest, okay?
00:47:55
Speaker
But just learning about myself and doing it for me and when I decided and that's why I tell people now I even want to be with them consults whatever I'm like when you're ready. I'm here. Yeah, I Can't convince you I can't do 17,000 inspirational posts for you to finally get it like you have to want it And then when you're ready to want it then we're gonna fight for it Yeah, and so that's what I did and I had to buy to do it alone I mean I had my one best friend choose out the event actually a new fit and
00:48:21
Speaker
and she came into pictures and stuff, but she was the only person, if you go back to front of her Facebook that you can see, that would like and comment, be like, go Dee, wait a rock and roll, you know, and then I joined a business fraternity and got some friends in there and they were supportive and they kind of had classes and whatever, but it was just like, it was such a long journey, like it was truly, no one held me accountable, like I had to be,
00:48:41
Speaker
In it and you know and then it just started growing from there the classes start growing people start getting and I'm running to my class you know when I couldn't even like barely get the stairs before right and I'm running to like a miles to get to the gym teach my class and then run back like I'm just like man I love this and so anyway, so it's all I just say it was like
00:49:02
Speaker
I had to basically shut down any of that. So, you know, when it came to knowing my purpose and knowing everything like that, I feel like God has lined it out for me that I'm meant to help people and I'm meant to be a servant. It's a very rural thing because
00:49:21
Speaker
you know he did instill this in me and that's what my purpose is and the the drive the dedication all the things that people look up to or that they are like we don't know how you do it or whatever i'm like because seriously this world is is
00:49:39
Speaker
Besides saying it's short, I don't even want to say it's irrelevant. I want to say that I'm here for literally one purpose, and I'm going to make the biggest impact that I can, no matter if people laugh at me. Because if people have laughed at me, they're like, love your body, whatever, you're the love of your body girl, whatever. Don't take it seriously, right? Then something crazy happens, and I flipped a five-hour-round tire, and now people start taking women
00:50:03
Speaker
Like being strong seriously. Yeah. Okay, you know what I mean? So I'm like, all right if that's what it took But again, there's still hundreds of thousands of comments about at least on my booty and based on my body not looking the part flipping that tire
00:50:15
Speaker
And it's like, again, I could look at that as a negative and be sad about that or whatever. I used it, again, it's not of a prove yourself, but of a like, that's irrelevant, bruh. I'm strong in that moment. I was beautiful. And I know that. And that's all that matters. And same with that picture on the billboard. Like y'all can try to take it down, but we know we're going to find a way. You want us to edit a little bra strap on to make you feel better?
00:50:37
Speaker
But I will find a way to be in these spaces because I know that my purpose is greater than this whole notion of hating ourselves through life or having
00:50:50
Speaker
you know, infidelity and security and all this stuff and whatever, nobody that like really loves themselves is out here doing that. Yeah. You know what I mean? You really confident with yourself. You really love your partner. You love your people. Like then you're not doing those things and acting in those ways. So all of this translates to all of that. Yeah. And I think that that's where people get so confused of like, no movements over here.
00:51:11
Speaker
Work is over here. Relationships are over here. Like, nah, y'all like it all intertwined. It's so easy to compartmentalize our life, but it really does. And I am pretty good at that, the compartmentalization, and that helps you cope, right? Yes. With certain things if you get me. But it all does relate. Like, I get it. And just like what you were saying, life is just, it sounds so cliche, but life is just too short, honestly.
00:51:40
Speaker
To like hate yourself right or like not like what you see in the mirror like yeah Is that really how you want to live like that? And that's what I'm saying and like even when I would do these interviews, right? Um, the husbands or the boyfriends would be like I'd say hey, you know to the woman I'd be like, hey, what do you like right? And they're like, I don't ask her that like she hates her body. Okay, my man shut well, it's not your job to like, you know, right but also
00:52:03
Speaker
It's not his job to make her feel she's beautiful or right, but like again It has to come from within and my whole thing is is it's like yeah, you can stay in a job You hate you can stay in the things you you know, you can hate your body forever whatever you want to choose it, but again, then There's no reason to complain or feel negative or feel a different way. Like that's just what you've chosen Yeah, so I really do feel like
00:52:29
Speaker
If they think that it's too far fetched or too far gone, that's what I'm trying to open that up to be like, now y'all like
00:52:36
Speaker
This, that ain't the battle. Like that's not what we should be fighting right now. Like, like that should be the easiest part of your day. Like roll out of bed, be like, yeah, let's fucking go. And then like move forward with our day. Right. But that right there, that luxury that a lot of quote unquote pretty people or smaller body people or even, you know, or whatever, if they, you know, but society tries to tell you that they like just live their life vicariously and just like do it, whatever. Like,
00:53:03
Speaker
It's a false ideal. That's not real. There are so many people that struggle with this no matter if they're larger or smaller or whatever. And again, you have to take it upon yourself to really want to change that narrative. And I feel like you can. It just sometimes takes support and help.
00:53:22
Speaker
It does. And I remember when I was going through, um, starting my self-help journey, if you will. And, um, just, you kind of, okay. It's so simple, the concept of taking responsibility for you and how you act and how you feel and all that. But when you finally start to realize that like, Oh,
00:53:44
Speaker
I can choose to be happy. Oh, I can choose this. I can take control of this. Like it just blew my mind that I'm in control, you know? And you can take responsibility. Like I don't like how I feel right now. What can I do to change it? Let's take a bath. Let's do a facial or something. Make yourself anything. And I just try to do the same thing with other people.
00:54:09
Speaker
instill in them, like you have the power. Because I'm not, I don't know, you probably don't know. I'm a live coach too, I'm a trained live coach. So what we're trained to do is that they, if you're my client, they have the answers. You just gotta help them peel back the layers. And to be like, oh, I can do this. I can go on a walk, like no.
00:54:28
Speaker
Honey, you don't need to hit the gym all of a sudden five days a week right fucking walk and drink some water. That's exactly right Yeah, that's exactly right. And that's where to like when people ask like all of what's your approach and how do you do? So everyone like it's more of an experience like, you know Because I didn't even realize tell us listen to another podcast where like they were talking about like cognitive behavioral They're like they're like therapy and stuff like that and I was just like bro Like I I went to school for communication studies and I'm like that is exactly what I learned and somehow in the back of my brain is
00:54:58
Speaker
Did not put it together that that's what I've been doing for my people and like helping them in that way Until just recently because again, I just do things and I it sounds like I always like to say it's organized chaos Sometimes people whoa, there's like a lot going on. I'm like, yeah, but literally like I know everything about it but and it's just we're just out here doing it and it's just a different way and I think that almost scares people sometimes and
00:55:23
Speaker
Because it's intense. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. It is a lot. And I get it. And I'm learning more and more about that. I actually had a male eight come on my podcast and we was talking to him because he listened to ours and he said, you know, he was like, Oh, I heard you're an eight. Yes. Okay. I'm going to listen to that. Oh yeah. And so it actually,
00:55:43
Speaker
It comes out next week. So you'll hear that but he basically said like he's like so I hear you're an 8 and sat down and he's like I'm an 8 too and he's like, I think you need to literally he was like I think you need to but I don't think you're 8 enough because I think you need to harden up a little bit and I was like What are you talking about? But I get what he's saying, but I was like do not realize that
00:56:01
Speaker
I'm hard on myself. Everybody else, I have empathy for them. Now, I may be like, they're being ridiculous and dumb. Are people on the street? I'm like, y'all freaking morons. But again, it's one of those things where I can have empathy for them. And he was like, I have no empathy. And I'm like, that is where...
00:56:20
Speaker
It's so interesting, and the male, female, dynamic. And how you can get through life, and everything's really happy-go-lucky. But when I talk about life, or I talk lots of, oh, Dana's intense, she's too much, she's this, she's that, whatever. Or, oh, guys are just intimidated by you. Ain't nobody saying that to him when he, you see what I'm saying? In general, ever. Right, and there's so many dynamics with this, that, and I'm sure you go through it too, but there's so many dynamics with
00:56:49
Speaker
not only being a strong independent woman but also having your own business also being young also you know like fighting the battle between you know
00:56:59
Speaker
male privilege but then also to fighting the battle between women that look the part in training okay but then fighting the battle between you know just this world in general um you know and then finding the internal battle with um with yourself about like you're not being enough um like for me i'm never i don't do enough in my faith right like i'm like yeah i watch that sermon and yes i do that every week but like
00:57:23
Speaker
you could be more intentional about your readings. Like you see what I mean? So it's just, there's so many parts to it. It's a balancing act of like everything going on. So that's why I'm like, yeah, I'm intense, but I have a lot of shit going on. Like, like if I wasn't this intense, there's no way I could be able to tackle every different facet.
00:57:45
Speaker
of all these parts of life or whatever that I essentially, I guess like represent because I've been blessed to have strength like a man, right? Have strong will and be independent like a strong successful female or you know, or whatever, you know, or having in a larger body size to have the reflection back on being overweight or being unhealthy. But then also now to being deemed one of the strongest women in Nashville. But then also, you see what I mean? So it's like, there's so many walks of life.
00:58:13
Speaker
That you think you're here. Yeah, and that's like I've lived 25 lives Yeah, and but I wouldn't have it any other way because it is literally when I look back and I'll think back man this time last year There's no our knowledge here like three years ago or whatever when I was doing grief for the first time in loss That I would have been able to like get on the podcast the next day You know I mean like we had just started the podcast like around that time Yeah, and I was like we got to take a beat for a second or whatever Because I just wasn't
00:58:42
Speaker
It was hard for me to know how to deal with stuff, right? And even now, like being able to be like, okay, yes, this is something sad that happened, but like, I'm still able to enjoy and have beautiful moments and be accepting that like, I had a great workout or I had a great day or my body felt good or, you know, whatever that I just have to be sad or like mourn.
00:59:03
Speaker
Yeah, you don't have to like live in that like sadness and everything has to reflect that you can have those good moments and while dealing with grief and pain. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so and that's what's been a special growth. Yeah, for just everything. And you know, and what I've taken is
00:59:22
Speaker
you know, with my friend passing, I'm, I'm taking the best part of him and I'm trying to move forward with that. Like he, he always made everyone laugh and not, and I know I'm intense, so I'm not making a lot of people laugh all the time, but I am pretty funny. So for me, it's like, you know, but yeah, so it's like, I know that like, and like letting people see that and be more open and I'm seeing that in like, and be more vulnerable in that sense. And that is going to help me even be better than,
00:59:48
Speaker
I thought that I was, or that could be, or whatever in a long time. You're right, because when you go on that vulnerability journey, and this is something I've been beating into Casey's head. Starting that vulnerability journey is, it is scary because you are naked in front of people, emotionally, right? And that is scary, and that's uncomfortable, and I still, no matter how long I am on this vulnerability journey, it's still gonna feel like that.
01:00:18
Speaker
But the weight that comes off of your shoulders, when you say like a heated moment between your spouse or something, and you say a vulnerable thing that is, you need to say, like, oh my God, the relief. Well, the relief, but also you keep it real. But then also too, you know, for me, I think that what was a big fear of mine is, okay, especially when everything happened with my boyfriend in the past, it was a horrible situation, lots of negativity, lots of bad shit.
01:00:47
Speaker
And you know, he was he just did a lot of bad things and I almost I wanted to share all of it as it was happening, but was suggested to me That like you could lose your brand you could lose this all these I didn't understand at the time because it was so like no I'm gonna keep things real. I mean whatever, you know, but it was almost like okay There had to be enough balance of vulnerability of like hey like but but I remember hiding
01:01:13
Speaker
I mean for a good I mean several several months hiding how I felt but people could read that they could see that but I just kept going pushing through and like yeah it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay but it was not okay because I could not deal with the abuse and everything that was going on that and like but also this expectation of you built this brand I was like I and I told my closest friends I was like I will not let him take this brand from me
01:01:39
Speaker
And I will not lose that so whatever I got to do and it wasn't about being fake I just was I couldn't be as open as I wanted to so then when he passed starting the podcast that was my outlet So literally that saved me in so many ways that I could just like because again I was like, I don't know if he was gonna listen and if they choose to listen cool Yeah, if they not like it's whatever but I'm not actively telling them but I'm speaking it through here and that's where I found a love for podcasting at that time and
01:02:03
Speaker
And, uh, and so when I was able to have that as an outlet, that really helped me not necessarily through business, just be able to be myself. Right. And, uh, and so I tried to find more ways to do things that weren't just dandy fitness, but we're Danielle. And so that, you know, and so that really helped me, um, and, uh, and to have that vulnerability. And so now I am able to say, like to my people, I said, Hey,
01:02:31
Speaker
you know this saturday like as soon as this time hits moving forward just for the weekend like if you guys need me like i'll talk to you monday yeah you know what i mean and i put a system in place like a crn that you know it's a lot of money on that so their warm house gets sent to them they're all their stuff is sent to them so like
01:02:47
Speaker
They have that I don't have to worry about doing it so I can just take 24 hours To just go sit in my house and like, you know choose what I want to do at the time But really reflect back on that and and so it's like all the hard work that I have been doing Is helping me to lead to like that that place, you know what I'm saying? Yeah from before I didn't have that I didn't even have a safe space or I felt like if I said that I
01:03:11
Speaker
Felt like oh someone won't train with me anymore because they see I'm being a little bit negative or usually I mean because like I gotta be that strong Set the example independent whatever Right, I mean because again, you know, I've watched it
01:03:27
Speaker
Men go who cheat on their people who do whatever their business stays the same. They don't lose clients. Hmm Especially in the training world got the examples right now come right up for you But like they don't lose business as soon as we stop her No, but you know I'm saying but like but again or if they do they had about and it's fine It's just normal for them if I did it makes me so angry and I've seen the other women that were involved in whatever and like when in them when they were in it Yeah, they didn't they lost everything
01:03:54
Speaker
They not only lose a husband or they lose whatever. I mean they lose everything and and then they got to work 15 times harder and then you wonder that their own yeah, they're going through a hard time you think But the man didn't have to go through that he's only did it so it was done to them So that was where I was at this anger standpoint where it was like this is being done to me and yes on some level like I chose to stuck around stay around and wait for him to pass essentially, but
01:04:18
Speaker
It was one of those things where like, you know, I could have got out sooner and whatever, but I stuck around and owned that decision. But it was just like, I will not, I did not miss one client session. I did not miss, you know, I didn't, whatever, even the day after he passed, the day after I had like 15 clients, I will try and do every single one of them the next day. Which really was horrible. And I should have just like, nah, it should have taken that off or moved that a couple of days.
01:04:44
Speaker
Again, it was like I've already lost money. I've lost time. I've lost my dignity. I've lost all these things. I'm not about to lose thousands more dollars because of just sitting here being sad and just sitting thinking I could change something. I get that. I probably would have done the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and whatever, you know, it is what it is. But that was why I was, I was really glad that this time around, even though it wasn't a partner that I lost, it was a friend, but like that I was able to be like, Hey, y'all, I moved some clients around going to the funeral.
01:05:14
Speaker
Yeah, I'm gonna be there going to the service. Yeah, gonna be there like made the time showed up. It was exhausting. I'm exhausted right now. But again, Jake would have done it for me. And even if he wouldn't have still like he would have but even if he wouldn't have like, I feel good about that closure. And I feel good about just like being present in that.
01:05:37
Speaker
And yeah, so again, this journey is all about moving forward and putting your best foot forward. And sometimes it's hard to see as you go through it, but I believe that if you have a true healthy lifestyle journey and you keep things real with yourself, that you can better navigate all the things that life throws at you. Absolutely, yeah.
01:05:57
Speaker
But, gosh. Girl, you up on that preaching. I know. I'm so, like I said, I'm like 11 and a half weeks out from my show also. So I'm just like, there's no filter. Like there's no, like, it's a bad time for anybody. If they want to know something about somebody, like don't ask me questions.
01:06:18
Speaker
okay so um i like to sometimes ask this at the end when i'm talking to i i should have done it with the coaches but i i forgot but um it's kind of a fun little game what are i should have told you this before but like give me your top five guilty pleasures just like in general anything what okay i'm so i'm so lying like it's just so laughing i ask this to casey when she goes driving like
01:06:46
Speaker
get out of here yeah like go to a lab no um guilty pleasures okay okay all right well I don't even know it's like okay so yeah yeah I mean
01:07:02
Speaker
I'll be straight with you like going to the movies with a big ass bucket of popcorn is like, but alone. I ain't trying to go with nobody. I ain't trying to be on a date. Don't talk to me. Like don't
Movies as a Sanctuary and Nostalgia
01:07:13
Speaker
talk to me. Like it's just, you know, I like it's, I gotta really like you. Like it's kind of like,
01:07:19
Speaker
Going to church. It's the same thing for me. Yes, because it is that is my only time Because I guess and you probably deal with this too being a as well, but I'm a little bit like whatever but I'm always thinking I can always be working there's not a time where I really stop and that's something I try to work on but Genuinely going to the movies has always been my safe haven of where my phone is off I'm never texted because it's rude as shit, you know, I mean but like
01:07:45
Speaker
I'm truly present, and I am in it, and I just love it. And it's not even me living by care, so I'm like, oh, that's me jumping out of that airplane. No, you know what I mean? No, it's just like, this is- It's a whole experience. It is, and the smells and the theater, I love it. The nostalgia. Yes, and so it just reminds me of such a beautiful town.
01:08:04
Speaker
so i love doing that i love popcorn um so that's my vibe and then even when i'm on prep and stuff if i don't have a popcorn like just be in there you know that's a nice treat just smelling it yes exactly yes but like don't eat sushi beside me people getting extra and shit like you know that in the movies now like those eat like these and fried chicken
01:08:25
Speaker
bruh i'll sneak in food too but like sneaking like some food that's like i don't know i'm just like really y'all couldn't eat before you came like i don't know i bring this chipotle in here like that's what i'm saying like yes like it's so funny but anyway so i'll say like that's a guilty pleasure um you know um i i do love well i love like um
01:08:49
Speaker
Well, I don't know, man. I'm trying to think. Five of so many used to me. Okay, two. Well, another- Then the rules for you. I guess the guilty pleasure. I mean, I really do. I mean, I love getting my hair done and done for me. I hate doing it myself. Like blowouts? Yes, blowouts all the time. I would say. And yeah, I go to the blow bar down here on Beaucourt, whatever.
01:09:11
Speaker
You know that is a guilty pleasure on my spray tans for sure I I mean you think I'm confident now like the moment I get a spray tan especially my girl spray tan by Shauna she literally like
01:09:23
Speaker
Yeah, I just feel like the most baddest bitch ever.
Guilty Pleasures and Confidence Boosts
01:09:27
Speaker
I love a spray time like, ugh, I'm a new woman. But no, 100%. Another thing I will say, I just love sitting around a fire. That is my thing. I could do that with somebody, without somebody. I'm trying to think, even in my home gym, just dancing around by myself, singing.
01:09:49
Speaker
Do you know i'm not a singer in here my voice i'm not at all but that kind of stuff but you know like. Those are probably my things i don't really do like trash tv i don't really i wish i could just do that but you don't have that whatever but now.
01:10:06
Speaker
You know, I secretly want to go on survivor and not secret because I really want to go and survive. Yeah, I think you'd be pretty good. Dude, I would just be, you know, why that I'm on there. It was like, oh, like, you know, that that athletic stuff and whatever. No, I think I'd be horrible that honestly, like throwing a freaking hoop and like, I have no clue to me. And I'm not doing the puzzles. I'm cheering you on. I'm not doing the puzzles.
01:10:31
Speaker
So for me the biggest thing that I want to do honestly would be 40 days because you're out there wherever without my phone.
01:10:39
Speaker
You see I'm saying because you don't have any interactions somebody else social media person, but arrange everything Yeah, like and so that way it's done for me and I could just be present and be out there Yeah, and I don't even like that doors really and I don't even like bugs Like the sand so you gotta understand it like that and but like and also the communication the taps of it I wouldn't be like, oh, I'm dandy dandy fitness. I like y'all didn't y'all like I'll work out. Yeah Fitness instructor, but like period but I'll be like, oh I plan events. Yeah, like I would totally go undercover with it
01:11:09
Speaker
And lie in the you know, literally and then survive that this is how it would be right? So like I said the other camera or like let's say You're the camera person, but they're doing an interview here. Yeah, and so then they're like, yeah Just like face them like tell them about your answers. I'd be like, okay Yeah, I'd say the answer and I'd be like, yeah, you gotta make sure to love your body throughout
01:11:25
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? But like, give like subtle, like, five for what you want. And they're like, why is she like dropping these slogans? And I'm like, yeah, you have no idea. But that's exactly why.
Scheduling Passion and Balancing Hustle
01:11:35
Speaker
Oh, we'll say probably the most intense guilty pleasure is the last one out and I'll be going with this, but like, is that, um, schedules.
01:11:43
Speaker
I absolutely love scheduling things. I have scheduled things since I was like five years old from my summers to my workouts to my, you know, just my social time, everything. I love
01:11:58
Speaker
Schedules, I love looking at it. I love everything being like bam bam bam even today like bam bam bam like, you know The expect like knowing what to expect to get part of it. Yeah. Yes, there's guilty put now you sound like easy that is but that is like my
01:12:15
Speaker
And that gets me like so excited. And that's why someone's like, oh, should someone else like do it for you? I'm like, honestly, I have fun doing it. Like I enjoy doing it, whatever. And it gets crazy and chaotic, but like, that is exciting to me. When I look at a day and there's nothing in it, that's my issue is that I feel it.
01:12:31
Speaker
And I'm trying to step away and be like, no, it's okay to just have that day. So that's the big difference between the wing seven and the wing nine is that, man, I have no problem kicking my feet up and lounging around all day. But I can't hustle. There's been times where I used to be a massage therapist, I'd be working through pneumonia. Like, no. Right.
01:12:55
Speaker
Isn't that wild? Yeah, like but it's just like that subtle difference of like yeah, like I it's seriously to take my mind off it like either I'd be asleep or I gotta be at the movie theater. Mm-hmm. Look at that. Let's hang out more kids. I'll rely on ya. I would love it cuz I really do and that's what I want like in a partner honestly for anybody that is listening.
01:13:14
Speaker
Like that is but seriously is somebody that people like oh you want somebody that's like Like you I'm like, you know balance little earth sign hundred percent like just that we that will tell me hey, it's cool Let's just like chill. Let's just like Netflix for like, you know, or like whatever or like, you know or I'll make the meal for you like to show up and like, you know got the show running like
01:13:38
Speaker
That that to me, yes, is like such a beautiful thing because those people are important and like so needed in your life. Yeah. And I have a few friends that are like that whenever. And so that's cool, too. But, you know, just again, have someone that like staple right there would be epic. And so that is where like, you know, I am always open to those type of things and those experiences. It doesn't have to always be
01:14:06
Speaker
go, go, go. Because as a person like Danielle truly loves to just like have that time with people. It's just, I don't really ever get to get to experience it. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's a good place to end. I think. Yeah. I don't think I've recorded one this long yet.
01:14:24
Speaker
I love it, I have to pee so hard again. Thank you so much for having me on girl. This was awesome. I want to have you back for sure. Cause this was just so much fun. We could talk about this for like ever. I love this topic. And anyway, until next time y'all, bye.
Podcast Conclusion and Call to Action
01:14:43
Speaker
Thanks for listening to the FFP alignment podcast. Please support us by downloading rating and recommending us to your friends and family. Be sure to check us out on Instagram at the fit femme project. That's F I T F E M M E project. And for those of you looking to find their central balance of lifestyle and fitness, book a free consult by going to the fit femme project.com.
01:15:05
Speaker
That's F-I-T-F-E-M-M-E, project.com and click apply now. Until next time, this is the Fitment Project alignment podcast.