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Ep 98: Song of the South (Dirka Classic Movies)
83 Plays2 months ago
Against our better judgment, we are going back in time to take a look at Disney's controversial classic about how black people loved being slaves and sang songs with little white kids and magical animated woodland creatures! Our friend, and Disney expert, Vern will be joining us for this one and it's guaranteed to be a good time with a horrendous film.
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Transcript
Introduction and Hosts
00:00:00
Speaker
We're back for the last week of Shitbird Month. Fucking finally. This week, we get a little racist. We don't. We don't. We don't. Disney does. Disney in America did. Zippity-doo-dah. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Brar Jack. And I'm Vern. This is Bad Movies. Worst People. Not in this case. We aren't the worst people. No, not my fault.
Song of the South: Memories and Impact
00:00:46
Speaker
We are not worse than a lot of people involved in this. I am an uncomfortable. I'm i'm not an excite. hu OK, how many of you people should not say that? How many of you three men that are sitting across from me have seen this when you were a child? First time. Well, what is this? Oh, yeah, this is the song of the South. Just song of the South. OK, so vern you saw this as a child. Yes, I saw this as a child. I don't think I ever saw this. I definitely saw some of the animated stuff. So husband. definite This is a definite first time. My my biggest.
00:01:25
Speaker
Media of this is the fucking ride Splash Mountain, which is a lot of people. That's all anyone knows Yeah kids go there and they never had any reference so what between between Vern and Derek I want to hear more details about like when it came out and why it went away So this episodes gonna be a little different than a normal thing. We'll talk about the movie I took some notes, but we talked more about what's going on and make jokes about that and Please. Yeah, because we're bad. Well, we can't do it. We can't. I can't do an impersonation. Any of these people here. No, we can't. No, I mean, he's a shit. Brere Fox kind of sounds like Eddie Murphy's best friend. No, Brere Fox. No, yeah, that's it. Eddie Murphy, Brere Rabbit sounds like it sounds like Cleveland Little's best friend from Blazing Saddles. And Brere Bear just sounds dumb. Yeah. And with red eyes, so he's stoned or drunk. Or drunk as shit. He's blitzed out of his fucking mind. He keeps smoking shit, so. He's been walking that Vegas strip, getting shots everywhere he goes. He's just trying to find fat burgers. Well, they're near the ATL, so he's probably just getting crunk, you know. Oh, definitely getting crunked, man. Looking for some of that hot chicken. He was just walking back from it. He was just walking back from Atlanta. He's been out crumping all night, dude. ATL's full trim.
00:02:38
Speaker
But yeah, so this movie came out in 1946. It was directed by two people. One did the photo play with the people and one person did the cartoons. Harv or Harvey, I guess it's Harv. Harv Foster did the photo play. This was his first directorial debut. So it was just his directorial debut on his first one. He did a bunch of TV, but not really much else.
00:03:00
Speaker
The only thing I recognized was the Adventures of Rin Tin Tin. Oh, and Wilfred Jackson did the cartoon parts. Not. He is a bigger deal. He did. I mean, he kind of invented syncing up music to cartoons. Yeah.
00:03:16
Speaker
Like he was the person behind getting Steamboat Willie going with the music and all that. Oh, OK. um oh I didn't think about that, because before that, it was like literally talkies where somebody's playing a piano live in the room you're in. Yeah, I didn't think about that. But somebody had to invent sound in a fucking movie. Yeah, 1928, the jazz singer.
00:03:35
Speaker
Wow. Well, he did a bunch of Disney movies that people know, like he directed or partially directed Snow White Pinocchio, Fantasia, Cinderella, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp. So so and all of those classic clamshell Disney movies. Yes. Every one of those was on my fucking ah bookshelf.
00:03:57
Speaker
My dog ate my little mermaid one. Oh, I didn't see that movie. Penises on the cover. My dog ate my penis. My dog ate my penis. This is the same. I don't think Nizzi's putting that out. This is the same dog that ate my underwear. Well, yeah. That's my dog. And my homework. Oh, how convenient. Literally, I handed in this chewed up piece of homework. That's awesome. I handed in this chewed up piece of underwear. Go for real. My dog gave my homework and my undies.
00:04:22
Speaker
I was home working on myself. I was in third grade. We could have left that out and gone with a joke, but now you got to make us feel bad. Oh, no, no I feel worse. um But and then for anybody who's listening, who's a nerd like me, and the cinematographer on this is a guy named Greg Tolan. I only wrote it down because I saw it at the beginning. I didn't see it while I was doing research, but he was the cinematographer on Citizen Kane and
Racial Themes and Historical Context
00:04:47
Speaker
Grapes of Wrath.
00:04:48
Speaker
This was his first color film. I was just making fun of you for having Citizen Kane on your table. Is it is it OK to call it color film or should we call African-American film nowadays? This was his first Technicolor film. I love you. This was his first Technicolor film. we just It's based on some books written by a guy named Joel Chandler Harris. ah Jack, you'll be interested to know. I hope so. He was an Irish immigrant. Did he help write Renegade? Is he the favorite? No, but he has lots of red hair. Oh, is that right? And he lived his entire life with people making fun of him because he had red hair. Oh.
00:05:23
Speaker
Why do you put that in me like that? I don't know what that's like. I've never made fun of for that. Things are now. ever No, it sucked growing up. Redhead until you had a certain age and then chicks, but when when girls become women, they're like, dude, I love that red hair. Girls don't like red hair. Women love red hair. Well, it's not just that like the color of it. Red hair is, I've never seen on It's like a Brillo pad. It's beautiful. It's like horse hair. It's gorgeous. You want to touch it. Please don't touch me, guys. I'm not. touching I'm not saying you. I'm people listening. Don't take that invitation. Like, oh don't go around touching gingers now. Don't go around. I heard you guys have gray hair. Oh, that is nice. no Don't touch anybody's bodies. and let Consent first, people. I'm going to touch the bodies.
00:06:10
Speaker
ah But this guy, so basically growing up, he lived with, like at one point in time, he was an apprentice on a plantation, but they did like printing there, so he was working for newspapers, doing newspaper stuff. He hung out with the slaves that were there, because he this was before the Civil War, and they told him a bunch of stories, and that's where he got these stories from.
00:06:34
Speaker
okay And this takes place after the Civil War. But he was a big supporter of ah like during ah reconstruction of ah racial racial reconciliation. Yeah, they called it. So like he was a supporter of like, hey, these are people, too, guys. Yeah. I mean, we don't I don't know to what extent. But that's better. It's better than nothing. Yeah. Well, it's better than a lot of other there was another school thought where people were like, well, no, let's give black people their freedom just really far away from us. Yeah. Like build their own town, get out of the south. It's like the that doesn't make sense. But he got once he started doing newspaper publishing and whatnot. He wrote a bunch of opinion columns, which is where the dad in this comes from, I think a lot of stuff about
00:07:18
Speaker
racial racial reconciliation, et cetera. that And people in the South not so happy about it because it was the South yeah because it is the South. I'm not going to say was hasn't changed yeah yeah Still pretty rough. He did get invited to teddy to the White House to see Teddy Roosevelt after he wrote the Uncle Remus, the first book, and it came out and it was like a big deal. It was huge. Like 185,000 people had it or something like that, which is a lot for back then. I think that's all the people that could read, yeah. Somebody bought two copies.
00:07:51
Speaker
But Roosevelt had a thing where he says, ah presidents come, and presidents go, but Uncle Remus stays put. Georgia has done many great things for the union, but has never done more than when she gave us Mr. Joel Chandler Harris. Holy moly. That black man telling stories is wonderful. I'm going to go kill some Native Americans, except I don't call them that now. Actually, he was a pretty phenomenal president. I think the biggest thing I have against Teddy Roosevelt and a product of the time was he's a big he was a big game hunter, you know. Oh, yeah. But he regret he regretted it in his day. he He established a lot of national parks.
00:08:27
Speaker
Well, he established them so for the war effort that they would have resources later on. They were meant to be mined when they needed to be. True, but we still got them. True. Fair, fair. I mean, I'm just saying, I would not say he's perfect, yeah but I think he's my favorite president. Trying to think of somebody better, but I can't. Calvin Coolidge? I don't know. Taft? Taft was our fattest president. Yeah. Yeah, stuck in a bathtub. I don't know. Can't be my favorite.
00:08:54
Speaker
Can't even watch himself. You know, who else really loved this guy's writing? Mark Twain, who's notably not racist, right? Yeah. Oh, not at all. You know, he's ah buried in Elmira, New York, where I'm from. Is he? Yeah. I mean, he's got a character with it with the inward right in it. I know. That's a rough, what rough ah road to go down. But the part of the reason he was he really liked this was because so watching this movie, we all had a little trouble understanding what most everybody was saying.
00:09:22
Speaker
Thank God. I'm fine. Oh, I've been in the boo. i've I've hung out with Jar Jar, so I get it. pair But yeah, Jar Jar is not a racist character. See, Han took shots first for more on that. But apparently the the way he wrote the book was in the dialect that everybody was speaking, who told him the stories. So he was they were very everybody was very like, oh, wow, you're like, trans you're like giving us this dialect that wouldn't be written down any other way. This is so good. But at the same time, I'm like,
00:09:52
Speaker
all these people shouldn't be talking like this, right? I feel like he's coming at it from a decent place. Yeah. But it doesn't translate. Yeah. You know, when you have people doing this, this accent and at the very end, the dad does it. Did you catch that? Yeah. The dad does it and the kid does it a few times. He's talking about the white kid. Yeah. Because he's inspired by him. So, you know, I mean, it's more than just like a Southern draw. Well, he's also been he's spent like what, four months with this guy.
00:10:20
Speaker
I don't know, it was like two days. It felt like two days. It felt like a week. How long was the day I'd gone? That's what I'm saying. It's got to be a couple months. I thought this movie was on for two days. That's what I thought. Yes, you haven't showered in two days. I have not. Or eaten. I'm glad to have any. I've been drinking.
00:10:36
Speaker
You haven't eaten for got to get your calories somewhere. So I did mention that he would like supported reconciliation. One of the things he really wanted or some of the stuff he really wanted was education, suffrage and equality for African-Americans, um which was obviously denounced in the South ah with ah W.E.B. DuBois saying ah educating The Negro will merely increase his capacity for evil.
00:11:07
Speaker
Oh, I know that quote. And this guy coming back at him from his own newspaper saying education of the Negro is not the chief solution of the problem that confronts the white people of the South or if education of the Negro is not the chief solution of the problem that confronts white people in the South. There is no other conceivable solution and there's nothing ahead but political chaos and demoralization. ah What we don't want is black people causing trouble. They are not as well mannered as the white folks where we don't do anything wrong.
00:11:37
Speaker
But his comeback was like, yeah, but if that's not the solution, what is otherwise, we're just going to be fucked. Yeah. And ah turns out everybody listened to W.E.B. Dubois in the South. Yeah. Well, you know why he's got three fucking initials. like You already know somebody's a bad guy when they have two initials instead of a first name like E.B. Barnum, ah who's what's a Rockefeller?
00:12:00
Speaker
What's what's his he's good. Oh, yeah, he's got a couple but all the initial guys this guy fucking tripled down FDR evil FDR evil as shit Franklin Delanor No, no, no you didn't Remember I got reprimanded for that. I don't remember that one People the removers lab and spanked me and everything Wow deserve dosh bonkings Did I say it wrong? Give me another sponking, Papa. um But despite these good things, it just ignores me now. It just yeah ignores me. We're moving along. A little German fella came over and offered to get sponked by you and you don't even want any part of it. I heard you were talking about something racist, so I thought I would come in for a little bit.
00:12:43
Speaker
I really like this Dubai guy. My name is Donkin, the Sponkin.
00:12:49
Speaker
ah But, you know, I came here to watch racist movies and get my ass spanked. I'm all out of racist movies. Do you do want some food? I got a new oven. ah No, no, I'm not hungry for that. Let's keep this racism light-hearted But yeah, despite all that this movie and his pretty much his entire legacy has been kind of washed away By the fact that people are smarter than we were at one point. Yeah, most of my hope I mean you always wonder how you would be in that situation and of course everybody's like I would be a better person than all these other races around me and But you don't know that. I would like to think that. I would love to think so. And I do think I would be that way. But but if you were put in this era, this South, and with these parents and siblings and friends, you don't know. Well, you know, we see in this movie what happens to little red-headed kids. oh They start drowning puppies. Well, that's how we're taught. That's like modern day, too. You know, my mom's side of the family is from Iowa. My grand nipple america the nipple of america my grandparents, my grandparents, my grandfather was born in 1914, and my grandmother's 1921. He was born the year World War I started. yes That's crazy. At least he didn't have to go. yeah well so you can all baby navy in this movie So you can imagine what they were raised around. They raised my mom and my own uncle that black people are just people and to not be racist to them. and like yeah they are Even though there was nobody in their town,
00:14:15
Speaker
I mean, in 1914, that's before fucking desegregation. I mean, this is still a very, very racist America. My mom graduated high school in 68. Yeah. So she went, she was born in 49. Okay. So my mom was raised to not be like the other white people. These, they're people. They bleed just like you do. And I get that, but I'm saying, what about 1840 though? But that's not even more ingrained. That's why I'm saying I feel like I would be I hope that I would be like my grandmother was and was like just because you were taught this doesn't mean it's right. Nope. But this guy did it. I love it. But this movie does feature the two first black people to get Academy Awards. Yeah. Yeah. Could they go to the ceremony? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. But actually, I think Hattie McDaniel didn't wasn't she there to accept hers?
00:15:05
Speaker
She couldn't go to the main floor. She was there in the building, but she wasn't like, oh, yeah. how you McDaniel got ah Academy Award for supporting actress from Gone with the Wind, where she originated the trope of people calling the black woman who takes care of the kids, Mammy, because that's her character, Mammy. Mammy.
00:15:25
Speaker
So not great, but hey, she won an award. And then ah James Basket, who plays Remus in this, got an honorary Academy Award, which at first I read that and I was like, well, we know what that means, but it's because it was actually two years after the movie. Wasn't it posthumously, too? No, it was right before he died. So it was two years after the movie. And I guess Walt Disney was campaigning a lot to help get him an Academy Award. I'm not racist. Apparently they were lifelong friends. I mean, James Baskett's life wasn't much longer after this, but they were friends for a long time. They grew up with the same plantation.
00:15:59
Speaker
Not lifelong like that long, but once they met, they were friends. Yeah. Supposedly. I'll give this movie a credit right here on the this actor with cartoons. He's doing great. He is looking exactly where he needs to look. Especially in the fucking 40s. This is not an easy, this is not a known thing. It's like, all right, now pretend there's a butterfly right here while I don't see a butterfly right here. Maybe that's why he looks crazed through all this because he's like, I'm supposed to pretend I'm seeing cartoons. hes He's very wide on drugs. Did my character get drugged? No, you just see cartoons. Why? Why
Controversy and Cultural Reactions
00:16:30
Speaker
do I see cartoons? He did die four months after he got that Academy Award. Well, he had heart failure due to complications with diabetes. And this movie he's always talking about is eating cornbread and sweet potatoes. So I'll do it. I'll do it.
00:16:46
Speaker
um Oh, and Zippity Duda was nominated for Best Song or something. Is that why they had to put it into ah Mary Poppins? Not had to. That's why they did. I think because by the time Mary Poppins came out, they already knew they they were they re-released this movie a few times in theaters because that's the what Disney used to do. But I know I saw Bambi like that, too.
00:17:10
Speaker
uh let's see so it was really first re-released in 1956 and then in 1970 they announced they permanently retired it because from day one this had issues which we'll talk about in a second people were against it from day one it's not like i was reading some reviews of people and they're like oh this woke culture canceled this because but but but from day one people were like no yeah yeah well it fucking just depicts It depicts the slaves that are on this plantation is like happy to fucking be there. Well, they're I mean, I'm playing devil's advocate here, but they're not technically slaves anymore. This is post civil war. OK, they're supposed to be they live on the plantation. The Hays Code people, who the ones that used to do approved or not approved for movies before we had like MPAA ratings, told them they should include. They needed to include a date at the beginning. So people knew that these weren't slaves. Oh, OK. He said, OK, cool. And then didn't. I thought this is pre civil war. No, it's after the Civil War. But I mean, in the South, a lot of the times what happened was those people that used to be slaves just continued doing the same thing. Now they got paid a very meager wage. Yeah. instead of And they already had a place to live. I've heard stories of because if you because if you are a slave, you don't get news all the time of plantation owners just keep keeping their slaves on and not letting them know they're freed.
00:18:28
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, that definitely happened. I'm sure that happened. Yeah, that's a nightmare. I mean, that's the problem. They were still treated like that in the movie, but they were happy about it, which is weird. It was yeah it was an insane look for this. Like, thank God these white people gave us a reason to be here. Right. You know, let's sing a song about them. Yeah. The three times the three times we see the the of the other people living there besides Uncle Remus. What do you mean other people? I can't remember what Hattie McDaniel's name was. I have it in here somewhere. But besides Sammy, Miss Sally.
00:18:57
Speaker
No, that was his mom, Tammy Tammy Tammy Tammy Tammy Tammy Tammy got it. This is making for riveting podcast. All right. But it was re-released in 72, 73 after they said it was retired, 80 and then 86 for the 40th anniversary. And that's the last time they've ever put it out. Which you had said while watching it, like because I think your wife asked if she wasn't sure if you saw it.
00:19:23
Speaker
I know. At first, I wasn't sure. There's like unless you saw it in 1986 in the theaters, you didn't probably did. But then Vern dropped a little fucking nugget of truth. Yeah, I had seen it because they did allow a very a couple like broadcast in the 80s on television. And my parents had like a VHS recording of it. And tenant TV type shit like just like ABC. um I think it was like I think it was a cable thing. It may have been Disney Channel even. Yeah, something like that. Oh, in the 90s. The 80s, the 80s. Yeah. Disney Channel in the 80s. 1981, girl. Look it up. You're you're go don't argue with. Oh, I was going to say you are throwing smoke at a fan right now. Did we mention that? Burn is our resident ah Disney expert. I've seen a few all. Not only he's not our resident expert, he is the expert. Not only is he the resident ah Godzilla 98 expert. Well, God, you know, what kind you in general, but I just have to mention that previous episode. Also, we should mention he is also wearing a Godzilla shirt right now. Yeah. Godzilla says that drugs are the real monsters. Remember that. kid yeah Take them all. Eat them all. All right. Look, I'm not taking life advice from somebody destroys Tokyo at every four fucking year basis.
00:20:34
Speaker
Like the Olympics. Oh, Godzilla is just competing. I got to get off that all! shot but Look, they're shooting rice at me. They love me. They're celebrating me with these big fireworks. They didn't test his testosterone levels. That was the problem. Oh, I think he's Dopin. I saw a minus one. Godzilla was Dopin. Dopin. He's smaller at the beginning of that. Yeah. Daddy six eyes, though.
00:21:00
Speaker
Could have just grown. Jeez. No, he gets nuked. yeah He didn't he didn't dope himself. Did you test him for a radiation? I think he's doping. But ah so when this movie came out, there was a ah review in Time magazine that praised the animated sequences as top notch Disney and delightful, but cautioned that it was bound to land its maker in hot water because the character Uncle uncle Remus was, quote, bound to enrage all educated Negroes and all number of damn Yankees. Yeah.
00:21:30
Speaker
those damn Yankees, all those Northerners that like their they're like free. Fuck them. I'm like Time magazine. Calm the fuck down. Time magazine has has said some things. They also put Hitler on the cover. Oh, yeah, they did that. Man of the year. Man of the year. Great. That aged very well. Was it? Was it the next year that everyone came out short shorts? I'm going for a photo shoot.
00:21:57
Speaker
like i'm I'm not sure. I'm not educated like you are on the histories. Oh, I'm barely a of this no I don't know the exact year, but it was pre 1939. It was pre wars in the 30s. Yeah.
00:22:08
Speaker
We especially because America had they like the end of the year. Guess what? I know he came to the United States and was celebrated. And if you actually said anything bad about it was like, oh, you know, you're fear mongering. He's not doing all this. Henry Ford actually wrote like a whole thing about how he how much he agreed with Hitler. And even up to the point of him blaming the Jews and the immigrants, Henry Ford's like, fuck, yeah, this guy gets it.
00:22:31
Speaker
Wow. At one point there was a boat full of Jewish immigrants that came to our shore to try and, like I think they're Polish maybe, but it was it was Jewish refugees and America turned them away. They had to go somewhere else. We're like, no, we're not doing that.
00:22:42
Speaker
Canada's better, go there. we didn't have inter We didn't have fucking camps for the Jewish people, just the Japanese. I don't understand how America's, nevermind, I shouldn't say it. We're getting all racist. There's a lot not to understand about America. No, it's fine. Our country's done bad. I said this is gonna be different. We're making jokes in between the horrible yeah history of America and the world. But we can't forget it. We are fucking immigrants. Yeah, absolutely. like I don't get it.
00:23:08
Speaker
ah That's why I always loved that movie. There will be blood. or No, sorry. Gangs of New York. Gangs of New York. yeah We're natives. We're the natives. Like, no, you're not. Right. Get your tall, long pants out of here. Here's some stuff we can agree with because there was criticism. We'll see. Surprisingly, there was criticism of this movie in the black press. Shocker.
00:23:25
Speaker
So in the Afro-American, Richard D. Richard B. Deer was, quote, Richard B. Deer, thoroughly disgusted by the film for being as for being, quote, as vicious a piece of propaganda for white supremacy as Hollywood has ever produced.
00:23:41
Speaker
Wow. Wow. Yeah. Golf club. Golf club. Dropping just spitting fire. And another person said something along the lines of it was here we go. Unadulterated hogwash symptomatic of unfortunate racial neuroses that seems to be gripping so many of our humorless brethren these days. So you know how I know I'm going to like your review. Hogwash is awesome.
00:24:10
Speaker
um And there was a ah congressman from Harlem who branded it an insult to American minorities and everything that America for as a whole stands for. ah Yeah, it's just hard that way. Oh, there was people doing a protest when this movie started playing in 1947 outside of.
00:24:30
Speaker
uh one of the theaters doing the jingle bells song but saying disney tells disney tells lies about the south nice nice writing dude as someone likes to parody songs i approve disney tells disney tells life about the south
00:24:49
Speaker
But yeah, I mean, it's all about the reinforcement stereotypes and like they're happy being subservient. yeah And you just got an old changed black gentleman telling the spinning yarns, telling stories, dropping knowledge. They turn all these songs that would be sung in a very murder not morose, but hey ah it's more in full song. It's going to have more soul to it because it's a more pained yeah experience. It's this is a very Disney song and i like it soundtrack. It's got that like.
00:25:20
Speaker
Yeah, these songs all sound like someone singing them at church, and I don't mean a black church. No, these are said right away. why This is this is boring music. Yeah, this is white people melodies. So you guys know they they got rid of Splash Mountain. yeah Yes. ah Well, no, got rid of it. They're retooling the princess and the frog yeah as long ago as 2020 is when they decided to do. Wow. ah and during the George Floyd protests and whatnot. Vern might know this. When was Splash Mountain made? 88, I want to say. Late 88. It was i might have been 86, because that was part of the reason they did the re-release in 86. It was the 40th anniversary of the movie, and it was also to help promote Splash Mountain. Wow, we were just making good decisions back then, huh? I had never been to Disneyland, so my resident um expert on Disneyland, what is Splash Mountain? Splash Mountain is great. It's a log ride.
00:26:11
Speaker
OK, so it's why is their equivalent or cedar. What's the equivalent in Disney World? They have they have Splash Mountain in Disney World. OK, yeah, they have it all over it. did Tokyo, Disney. Think of small world, but Briar, Briar, Briar, Briar Rabbit, Briar Fox, Briar Bear. It goes through. It takes you to the happy through the happy or laughing place and then drops you down a big old. The big thing is the big drop at the end.
00:26:37
Speaker
Yeah, that's when you go in the briar patch, but there's a lot of animatronics. Literally all I remember is going down that part. Well, that's the only part you would remember the rest of it. It's like it lulls you into like calmness and then drops you off of a cliff. OK, I like this. I was 15. No, this started with me. So she was five.
00:26:54
Speaker
Yeah, it's no longer now. It's based on The Princess and the Frog, which I'm just going to throw this out there, Disney. I get what you're doing. But you went like, well, we're not making fun of black people. Look, this is the other black movie. Yeah. Like, don't point out that these are the two frog. Don't point out these are the two black movies you made. This movie has rocks. What did they say?
00:27:13
Speaker
Knee deep, knee deep or what's the kisses? Oh, knee deep, knee deep. Right around. Right around. There is a horror movie here. There is. If you just if you if you mute it and you give me a microphone, I can do this. There is a microphone and a synthesizer. Stay tuned for a future Patreon episode where we go murder me a bunch of frogs. Where is knee deep brewing? Auburn, California. Do you think that's where they got that name?
00:27:40
Speaker
No. Knee deep. Yeah, they watch this. I'm like, I'm going to make a brewery after this movie. yeah We can't call it the brewery of the south. We can't call it the song of the beer. Song of the beer. Actually could. Knee deep. Shut up. You can still go on Regular Splash Mountain if you go to Tokyo Disneyland.
00:27:57
Speaker
Oh, they don't care. Racism doesn't translate, dude. Nope. Disney just doesn't care. They're like, it's out of America. It's Tokyo's problem. but There was a thing. There was a thing I saw. So somebody didn't understand. So the rights to this or the copyrights on this lapsed in 2000 in Japan. So there's been bootleg copies available in Japan since then.
00:28:18
Speaker
There was like official releases, but they're still they loved it. Well, so there was this review I read from a guy who didn't know about the copyright thing. And he's like, well, it's released over there, which says a lot about what the Japanese think about racism and whatever. But he also had a point. ah Some of the songs, I guess, have alternate tracks that are.
00:28:38
Speaker
sung in and subtitled in Korean and apparently the Japanese really don't like the Koreans, so it's like Maybe it's like the black guys are singing the song in America. The Koreans are singing the song in Japan I don't know what the truth is to that. I just read that in one of these guys reviews and he wrote a Fucking litany of things so I definitely like the whole deposition. Yeah But so let's talk about the people in this. We did a little bit. So we have James Baskin, who played Uncle Remus. He died. He did. He did some other stuff. But these are all movies like a lot of our classics that we do on here, because that's what this is under Durga classic movies. Uh huh. We're not going to recognize most of these movies. So I didn't write them all down. But so that's James Baskin. Bobby Driscoll plays Johnny, the little kid. ah He voiced Peter Pan.
00:29:25
Speaker
He looks like Peter Pan. He did! Especially in that green outfit. yeah that He's fucking auditioning to be the leprechaun. Or David's just pissed. Somebody's just acting short. That's bullshit. And he was in Treasure Island, Disney's Treasure Island. So dear to my heart, ah Melody Time was another classic. And he was also Goofy Jr. in the early 1950s shorts, the basis for Max.
00:29:50
Speaker
Gorge. The last role he had, though, just because it kind of weirdly ties into all of this stuff we're talking about. The last movie role he had was in 1963 in a Sidney Poitier film, Lilies of the Field, as young Mexican holding the door. This is the whitest kid in the world playing young Mexican holding the door in the film that Sidney Poitier was the first black man to get best actor for.
00:30:19
Speaker
Kind of full circle. That was the movie he got it for. Wow. Well, can we talk about Bobby Driscoll a little bit here because he has he has like ah about a tragic history. So is this a little boy? Yeah, the little boy. So one of Disney's first childhood star, first contracted actor.
00:30:35
Speaker
Um, but got let go because he was getting older and wasn't cute anymore. But, you know, he fell into a lot of issues. He was in part of Andy Warhol's the factory and got into drugs. Well, he apparently, um, died in an abandoned building, like on a dirty cot or something, um, because of complications due to his drug use, but they didn't know who he was at the time he was unidentified.
00:30:57
Speaker
So if you're familiar with Heart Island and the infamous Poppers Field, where they buried a lot of people, like they buried, it's um like ah AIDS patients got put there. oh whoa you know it's a lot of There's over a million people buried in this island. And he got buried there and we don't know where the,
00:31:14
Speaker
that records got burned in the like the 60s or 70s but the only reason they know is his family went looking for him after the fact and they matched the fingerprints up so they know he's there but they don't know where so that's what a weird like nebulous thing like he's there we can't exactly get him I mean some million people just find the island and b said still used to this day by the way over a thousand people are buried there a year by the way, isn't that the state motto for over in Staten Island? Just go to the island and be said. Yeah, I think that's I mean, that's not a state, but it is the motto. It's a state motto. It's that motto. Yeah. No, I saw that. I saw that he died at 31. So.
00:31:54
Speaker
Yeah, that's really sad. Yeah. Do you think it was get a cot? Do you? Some people don't have anything, dude. Some people die in the pavement or die. Everybody hears about like the the tragedies of the children. Stars go through with the pedophilia and everything and just the harsh work like the shit they had to go through. Even what you just said, like you got like oak for being old, not old. Sorry. I'm sorry. You went through puberty. We can't have you. Yeah, that's exactly what it was here.
00:32:24
Speaker
You're not you're not **** a durable anymore. You're not **** a gerbil. Point of order. What did you say? Point of order. That's Richard. Oh, point of order. It's a durable. Got it. Point of order. That's Richard Gere. Allegedly. Now, that gerbil **** him. Allegedly. Allegedly. It is a legend and it's also from what I've gathered. Very gather very fake but it's funny He that was one of those pre-internet ones do that you couldn't write like hey, you know, he puts gerbils up his ass I don't know. It's one of those I saw a thing recently that was like how is it that before there was memes or the internet? We all heard about Marilyn Manson taking out a rib to suck his own dick You need to add vertebrae to your spine not take out ribs boy You know, I am in the mood for like a really juicy IPA and I don't see any in the fridge and Yeah, I think I'm all out, but I do know a place we can go get some more. Let's go to the Arizona Beer House. Arizona Beer House. They have 34 taps. There's like almost 800 cans and bottles that you can drink in-house or take to go. And it's conveniently located at Broadway and Cove, 150 South Cove in Tucson, Arizona. I'll tell you what, I'd tap that. Let's head down to Arizona Beer House right now. Let's go. I'll drive. First pint's on me, guys. All right.
00:33:38
Speaker
Sharks of the Corn? Virus Shark? Cocaine Shark? Shark-topus? Yeah. Those are all real movies. Join me, Steve Coates, as each week I take a comedic look at the bizarre world of Shark-sploitation cinema on Bucket of Chum, the Shark Movie Podcast.
00:34:00
Speaker
So back to the actors. ah This little girl, Jenny, was played by a girl named Luana Patton, but she wasn't in much that I noticed, that I knew. I don't know. She was in Melody Time, it looked like. like All these people were pretty much in Melody Time, which is another Disney production similar to this without the racism. It was like animated okay live action. Sing song. Dancey dance. dance yeah Sing song, dancey dance. Got it.
00:34:21
Speaker
And then the moms, Sally was played by Ruth Warwick, who of course everybody here will know as Charles Foster Kane's first wife from Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. And then you might know her if you were Citizen at home in the Kane. afternoon and you had like a stay at home mom. Oh, you're like a soap opera. Citizen Kane Yeah. She was in five hundred and eleven episodes of all my children. All my children starting with episode one. Holy crap. Wow.
00:34:53
Speaker
and love Yeah, that's only from that is not even two years. No, no, no. Now they did nine thousand something ever still doing. Oh, that's right. Because they were dailies. Yeah. But then wait, no, no. Take out the weekends. So there's probably three years. But yeah she was in the first episode. She was in a lot of the first season, second season. But she continued appearing in that show until 2005. Holy crap. Wow. So 1970 to 2000, she just kept coming back. And so I'm your old lover with the new body. I don't know why I chose this one for my new body. I scrolled through like because you can see the specific episodes they were in. You broke your witness. I broke my hip. I was trying to be a hipster.
00:35:38
Speaker
Oh, you can see the episodes they're in. So I scrolled through and it was like the last 12 seasons or so she was in. It was like two episodes per season. ah So it's like she just showed up to be like, fuck you. Bring your face to my head. I'm going to slap it. But if I go back, it's going. Oh, I'm going to dislocate my shoulder and your wrist and elbow. No.
00:36:01
Speaker
And then, of course, Hattie McDaniel playing Tempe, which I have written here with Mammy from Gone with the Wind. Did that little did Toby ever turn into anybody? Um, I didn't. So I was doing this research. Actually, he was pretty fucking charming, this little kid. I i know. it's are I know it was like a very racist dialect that he's using and stuff. So we're not going to do that. No, but I will, however, replace it with Christopher Walken. If it pleases the court, it pleases the court. I was going to do Christopher Walken for the Fox, but go ahead. Oh, no. He can be Toby. ah No, but we'll do. we'll do hoop Toby can be Mark Wahlberg because that would piss off Marky Mark. Yeah. well Hey, bro, got this fucking frog. Heard you want to catch frogs. I brought one to you. The bull fucking water hops. I would catch it again. Look at that.
00:36:38
Speaker
I'm putting this frog in my hat, dude. You ever put a frog in your head and put a hat in your fucking head? Frog hat. Frog hat. You ever listen to that fucking great being? Frog hat? Slow ride. Take it easy. All right. Take it easy, bro. Okay. Would it kill you to play a little frog hat?
00:36:53
Speaker
so I hadn't looked him up because I did this research before watching this. I had no idea who any of these characters were. no I'm not liking where this is. No, neither am I. He doesn't have a picture, so I didn't click him. I didn't know who Toby was. But apparently he was in a series of what looked like stop motion cartoons, maybe or stop motion animation things about Jasper.
00:37:19
Speaker
Oh no. I don't like these pauses. I'm just going to read some of the names. No, it's more pregnant than the girls I went to high school with. The first one here is Jasper and the Watermelons. Oh no. It's going to get better from here. Jasper's Minstrels. Oh no. Got to get better from here. I don't know. there's not not The names aren't so bad on a lot of them. Jasper and the Beanstalk, my man Jasper.
00:37:39
Speaker
All right. I got a picture. Oh, no. So this is what it was. Wow. That's a big bowl of yikes. It looks an awful lot for the listeners at home. It looks an awful lot like when Dr. Seuss was drawing cartoons about black people who sold bug spray. Google it. I can't remember what the bug spray was caught called because I couldn't care. But you can Google Dr. Seuss racist. It'll come right up. No, that little that kid fucking he got that paycheck.
00:38:09
Speaker
Hopefully he's doing it. Well, hopefully he fucking probably wasn't very much. Let's be real. But I did love at the very end of the movie when he trips over that log. Yes. And then he like looks at the director like I keep going and just like going keep running. All right. Zippity fucking doodah. It's a fucking bluebird on my shoulder. And he's singing and smiling the whole time like we good. A nary a shoe on this kid. Nope.
00:38:31
Speaker
No, never say that. And by the way, filmed outside of Phoenix. That's what I was about to get to. So not filmed in the south. All the stuff on the plantation was
Production and Plot Analysis
00:38:40
Speaker
filmed. They made a farm and like fields. It was actually we now we would call it right in Phoenix. But at the time it was like near they called it like parallel 17 or some shit. This is when they were toying with calling it pumpkinville. It's a real fact. Wow. Phoenix was going to be called pumpkinville for you. So here's what it would be about it.
00:39:01
Speaker
Arizona would be just even more like the south than people like to say it is. They were just stuck on a P word. But it was so it's just south of Buckeye.
00:39:14
Speaker
So like I looked it up online. OK. I found it on Google Maps. Oh, wow. It is a monster energy drink warehouse. No. so they're Right next to. So there's still slave labor going on. Right next to an Amazon fulfillment center. There's the slave labor. I was reaching with that monster with an Amazon. is Oh, yeah. So I'm sure Jeff Bezos doesn't have a lot of say in where these fulfillment centers are going because he doesn't run the company. He's just there. Yeah. But they were like, well, this one would be right by where they shut so where they shot Song of the South. And he was like, do it. Done. Done. Done. So I ride into the thing we're doing here.
00:39:51
Speaker
It might be haunted, but then good. We'll put those fucking ghosts to work. Seriously, he probably would. If he could. You don't have to pay ghosts. I don't know what Jeff Bezos sounds like. I imagine it's more like, you don't have to pay ghosts. You don't have to pay ghosts, fucker. Yeah, we're going to build it right by where all those slaves were. Back to work. Isn't Bezos the guy that like sponsors the slapping, the slap off where you have to? Whoa, what are you talking about? me You have i don't know i two men face each other and you have to like smack each other in the face and you just That was actually a misunderstanding. I was trying to get someone to come over and slap off my cock. Yeah, say sister or he's like I get off by watching men slap each other. He's like a dozen bald. Everyone has their thing. Yeah, he looks like ah he looks like a penis commercial. Yeah, he does. He has a spaceship that looks like a penis. Yeah. And I watched it go to space and I was like, that thing is a dick flying through. this Are you sure that you didn't just watch Austin Powers?
00:40:46
Speaker
Hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm time elon next time next time ah some doctor Claw. but then Somehow Bezos is still fucking voiced by Frank Welker. I don't how. Who else? Who else could voice it? You know what? i He tried to interview like, dude, your voice is just haunting. You cannot speak. Here's what you do. Frank Welker is going to just speak anything that you mouth. Fucking wiping his ass with diamonds.
00:41:32
Speaker
He turned it into paper somehow. He's got the money. No, he's very. You know what? We just sit here and we talk shit with our coddled anuses, but he is just numb to it. Look, so Frank Welker was born the year this movie came out. Ooh. Wow. So I knew he wasn't in it. Wow. Wow. But while I was going through the voice credits, I was like.
00:41:53
Speaker
I can see Frank Walker. What if? Maybe. if? But, hey, guys, you know what? For all the negative things we've said, this was the top grossing US film of 1946. Indeed it was. What's its competition? um Fucking Russian propaganda films. Not in the US. Bugs Bunny. What year did this come out? I know you said it. 1946. 1946. Oh, my uncle was born that year. World War II.
00:42:21
Speaker
It didn't start then. You don't have a you don't have a fa familiar member just born every major war. You're not you're not. loves him Well, and mike my grandfather was born in 1914. My uncle was born in 1946. We were already at war. We were we were wrapping it up. Yeah. Jenny's in this. Didn't we already bomb the the Japanese? Yeah, that was 45. So this was after all that fun. Yeah, we're just killing. My grandpa wanted to join the fucking warlords now.
00:42:48
Speaker
In the 40s, my grandfather wanted to go, but they wouldn't let him because he was a farmer. Because he was just born? Oh, that was your own father. Because we didn't have the baby navy yet. They said he was too old and he was a farmer. Yeah. Well, was he too old?
00:43:04
Speaker
I don't know. He was born in 14 and it was 46 or 40 39. I mean, not too old, but older. here's a blowup player Anyway, so let's talk a little bit about this yeah yeah yeah the actual movie.
00:43:19
Speaker
What? Nothing. All right. Earlier in post. Let's talk a little bit about this actual movie and what happens because a little girl. I was sitting here watching this movie going, well, this is stupid. They're just running back and forth and he's telling them stories. and They could just made a series of cartoons and we could have avoided all this controversy. Yeah. But then it ends. And I'm just like, what fucking psychedelic freak out ending is this? Well, they were trying. Where was the plot? They're dead.
00:43:46
Speaker
So this little girl is sure they are fucking dead. Sorry. Yes. This as soon as that sunset hits cartoon, that's heaven or hell. Yes. I know it did turn red. Was that still a thing in 1946? Well, this is 1870. So this little girl is riding in a wagon with her mother and father. And they're going to see a little mother boy's mother. It's a little boy. It's a little girl. It's a it's a little ok a well boy. They they can wear whatever they want. you are You haven't opened mind like the rest of us. What? Yeah, they're going. Is the hat that Violet wears? This little kid at one point ah right here, when coming up here, when he's talking to his dad, saying, don't leave, I was looking at him. I was like, fucking shut up, Matilda. Yeah, let's get this movie going. this kid Looks like Matilda.
00:44:35
Speaker
But this is how they dressed in 1870. Yeah, it's awful. He was the only one dressed like that. Because that's how you dress children. He had enough money to have those clothes. The rest of these kids have one fucking overall straps because the other one's broke. Yeah, we have we have the we have the black kids who we know don't have the money for that. And then we have the dirt farmer white kids. Oh, whoa.
00:44:54
Speaker
they like They have a name, guys. It just I think it's the favorite yeah favors. You know, the favors called dirty. No one did live there. It was a favor. So they call it the favor. I teach you last name. Well, we were squatting on some land. They imply while they're going here, though, like the kids like why isn't grandma coming? Even though grandma is there, I guess other grandma. No, he said why does grandma hasn't come in years? Why do we have to visit? Oh, OK. And so basically because she's mad about what dad writes in the newspaper. No, she's not mad. She approves. Dad says that.
00:45:25
Speaker
I think she's mad. I feel like this has been a fight between the family, the mom and dad here. I don't think she has, because she's- The son's new age, like, hey, you know, your freed slaves that are workers should get paid more and maybe have a chance to not be here. And maybe not live in these things that are built out of leftover driftwood that are sitting around on this plantation, because these buildings do not look up to code. They should be condemned, for sure. Uncle Remus at one point, fucking, he's like, oh, I've got a fucking corner right there I'm not using. He's bragging about having a corner in his house he's not using.
00:45:55
Speaker
yeah He had one. He had two shirts, two pants. But I'm saying like normally like people like, oh, I have an extra room I'm not using. You can bring that dog over. This guy's always one room. I got a corner. But I love it when they get there and like they have a sign. This young child as Toby, as Johnny's keeper. Yeah. Everything happens to me. If he gets any trouble, you get him out of trouble. And if anything happens to him, we're going to kill you. So just like double team. Yeah.
00:46:27
Speaker
And so his first thing is come inside. I'm going to show you this grandfather clock. Well, you wait till it hits the top of the hour. And they say there's no TV. There's no fucking podcast. This clock is dropping a new episode every hour. And this kid is there to watch the next day. He goes back and he's like, oh, it's a rerun. I've heard this one before. Can you guys get a new clock?
00:46:49
Speaker
It's not even a cuckoo clock. It's just a regular grandfather clock. Can you imagine how blown his mind would be? Oh, did you say cuckoo clock? Guess who's coming to visit with presents? I give you cuckoo. You give me spunkings? Not you little kids. Somebody older. What about your grandma? What is she doing? Oh, I hope she's not too brittle. Hey, if hard rock zombies taught us anything, Hitler likes getting spanked by a grandma. Who doesn't? My name is Adel. I hope you have a paddle.
00:47:19
Speaker
So the dad is like, I got to leave. And Johnny's like, oh, wait, wait, wait. So the dad starts playing with Johnny's nipples. Yeah, yeah he's robbing. He's going for it. This is all right. Go ahead. You first, because mine is going to be super important. OK, mine is actually a plot. it's So mine.
00:47:40
Speaker
Yeah, but you're going past. So before we get there, he's talking to his wife and she's like, are you sure we have to do it like this there? I feel like they're they're discussing starting a fight with each other. So daddy leaves. I think that is what is happening, because when we get there, they're in a midst of a fight. I was under the impression that dad is writing stuff people don't like, and they're going there to basically hide out. And that's her being like, are you sure we need to do this? Like,
00:48:10
Speaker
hide from these people. So you guys got so serious, I didn't want to say mine now. I was going to talk about like feeling up somebody in the closet when you're 13, the lights are off. Oh, we'll get there. Can't even get to that now. Sure we can. So dad is rubbing out his son's nipples.
00:48:22
Speaker
like Literally, he's grabbing this kid and like his thumbs like our arms are all around this kid's body and his thumbs are just rubbing his nipples. It's really weird. How old are they? Seven, eight? Probably. The nipples? One's seven and one's eight. That's weird. He had to grow the second one. He was born with one nipple for a year. What's weird about that? Was it inverted? No, it was smooth.
00:48:44
Speaker
so they go they just just goes out for to run away he's gonna run away and find his dad he's going to Atlanta dude I mean I got his little hobo sack Bendle a bundle his bundle and but he doesn't have it on stick so first off you're already fun you know what you got to carry this shit point to Derek it's a bundle up until you put a stick on it
00:49:07
Speaker
The stick changes the you and I. Yeah. Okay. Once you stick it in there, it's a window. He can find sticks to ride for horsies. You can't find one for his bundle to be there. Did you ever do she like that? Did you have no, no, because I had the real stuff to play with. I had the little spoiled little bit. I've got the real horse over here. Right. I don't know. Did you ever go out and like find sticks that look like guns and horses? Yes. A thousand percent back on the farm. I did back in the farm of Tucson, Arizona. I also did. I know. I spent my summers in Iowa. Dan, that sounds like a rich person trying to brag. I summer in Iowa. Was there like a giant thumb trying to rub you guys? Whoa. You know, because it was the nipple of America. It was bringing it back. It was Uncle Sam. I'm going to find me that nipple more robot.
00:49:57
Speaker
But while Johnny's running away, he finds Uncle Remus who he's heard so much about because he bypasses all these black people singing white songs. He's like, well, that's boring. Yeah. and He goes over there and he I heard a lot. I heard really good things about the music that comes out of this place. And so far, disappointed. and Look, I came here for Ice Cube and I got vanilla ice. Did you ask for 13 and they drew a 31? That's where I got the joke from. Thanks. I had to help the people that didn't know. But so he's listening and all the stories and like there's some stuff that happens. But basically, Uncle Remus takes him and Toby.
00:50:35
Speaker
back to the house to tell them stories. This is where we all started getting horror movie vibes. Oh, because they're in this house and it's it's pitch black, except for the light coming from the fire. Uncle Remus has these wild drug addled eyes and flickering lights not doing favors. It's like it's red to its deep red. And it's Yeah. all shot at like a really low angle, makes him look real big. And he's just like, let me tell you the tale. Are we going to talk about how they actually put him in blackface? I don't think they did. I don't think so. I think in the dark, they did. I think it was just the lighting. I think it. Yeah, I think the shadow from his hat made his face think they all had makeup, but it wasn't specifically to change their skin tone. Yeah, it was to. Well, they didn't know how to.
00:51:20
Speaker
Match his skin. I don't maybe you had a light yeah anybody cuz it's you know the 40s Okay, we can cut that too if you want oh man this guy had crazy hair Oh, sorry, I was looking at pictures of him to talk about this. But so there was a movie he was in ah with John Carradine. So that that nepotism goes a long way back. Yeah. Wow. Called Revenge of the Zombies. And he looks like I mean, his hair gives me vibes of like i' Morgan Freeman. But like. He just doesn't have a comb. OK. So this is what we got.
00:51:57
Speaker
OK, so they shaved his head. He shaved his head because he wanted to look older because he's only 42 in this movie. What the fuck? Yeah, he's only 42. Yeah, I thought you were joking. No. Tales from the Hood. What's the the guy that? ah Oh, that runs the fucking funeral home. He's got hair kind of like that. Yeah. Bernie Mac. No. And also rest in pictures, though.
00:52:23
Speaker
That's right, the shit, I'll get your shit. ah that's the is it It's the same guy from ah Half Baked. Half Baked, right? Oh yes, human bee. Human bee. What part are you from? Down by the beach, boy. i wasn't ah Bro, if I wasn't Jamaican, why would I wear this hat? He's he's doing a fake Jamaican accent, you can do it, it's okay.
00:52:48
Speaker
Call me now. That's how i that's what I want to know. Oh, Clarence Williams, the third. That's his name. Of course it is. Oh, he's fantastic. Oh, he's also the. I would have told you a police chief or lieutenant or something. I think in deep cover. OK. Great movie. Anyway. Yeah, it is. Is it? Yeah. It's enjoyable. It's got a ah um Lawrence Fishburne and Jeff Goldblum. Well, Cherry 2000 had Lawrence Fishburne in it.
00:53:15
Speaker
for a fucking cup of coffee. No, this stars Lawrence Fishburne and it is a five star talk to your movie. Also Cherry 2000 is a banger. No, no, but it's a banger. I'm just saying your wife watched it wrong. I did watch it wrong.
00:53:30
Speaker
But so he's going to tell him a horror story, but he breaks into song with Zippity doodah story. Five bucks. She tossed me off in the alley. That's a story about a whore. He's talking about eating cornbread and shit. So all of us were pretty sure that this cornbread has mushrooms in it. Thousand percent. Because even when he gets to cartoon world and he's dancing around with these little creatures like fucking Cinderella, he is or Snow White, I guess.
00:53:54
Speaker
He's eyes. this That's what gets me in this whole movie. His eyes are just so wide. Oh, yeah. It's terrifying. and Looking at those butterflies. He's like, hey, there Miss Milly, how are you? I wouldn't mind some of this cornbread. I'm just saying he's not he's not not smiling. Hey, and you know what? There's hummingbirds in this movie that make an appearance in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
00:54:15
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Mm hmm. This is true. Well, this is actually the prequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Rabbit, what happens is at the very end, the toons come out and they kill all the humans on this plantation. They don't care. They're not racist. They just hate humans. And then they start toon town on the very the bodies of their their fallen victims. I would do that. Yeah, that's how they tune trees only grow with human organic matter as mulch. It's the thing no one wants to talk about. Yeah, it's twisted, really. So we go to our first cartoon and a Time magazine article about it. He's talking to this little rabbit who wants to run away from the briar patch. It's Brier Rabbit. So it's B-R apostrophe E-R is all these characters, which apparently is short for brother. OK, it's part of the southern like brother rabbit brother. Yeah, exactly. It's it's kind of the broken English.
00:55:07
Speaker
And they do a caught occasionally called a brother, too. They do slip that in every now and again. Yeah. Oh, OK. I didn't catch that. But so then he gets he goes to run away, gets caught by a fox who wants to turn him into rabbit hash. And I'm like, this is a kid's movie, but this isn't even the worst of it. I'm going to cook you and then not even clean you. Just eat you. ah No, not raw. Roasted with fur on you and talk and talk feathers. Oh, why do I add feathers? That's later.
00:55:34
Speaker
That's later. Later. Later. This is just when he's tied up in the the rabbit trap. And he and then along comes Bear Bear, stoned out his cord off his fucking ass. I'm going to take his fucking head off. I'm going to just knock this out of the club.
00:55:52
Speaker
With them. Oh, what are you doing up there rabbit? I'm being a scarecrow. I wait what I'm being a scarecrow. I make a dollar a minute. Oh, I want to make a dollar a dollar. I could drink so much for one minute for a dollar a minute. By the way, this isn't like eighteen sixties dollars. So that's a lot. Wow. like making $1,000 a minute right now, right? Like it's insane. Basically, you're making half of what Jeff Bezos makes. You're talking about Frank Welker money. Yeah, you are. But so the Fox comes out in a murderous fury after sharpening his ex. This Fox is fucking terrifying. Bathtub meth. Yeah. Yeah. he's like
00:56:37
Speaker
Oh, I'm gonna chop this fucking rabbit up. I can't do it as well as you. I love it. Moonshining is so passe. Now it's meth and cooking rabbits. There's two things I cook, rabbits and meth, and I'm all out of meth. I've done it. The key ingredient for my meth, it's rabbit fur.
00:56:55
Speaker
I need a lucky rabbit's foot. Oh, look for I was thinking about Jesse from Breaking Bad when he was like, I put some chili powder in it. Science, bitch. But yeah, so he tricks the bear into taking his spot. And this is what makes the bear mad at the rabbit for the rest of the movie, because he tricked him. He's not actually getting paid. The moral of the story, according to Uncle Remus, is stay home when you're small.
00:57:24
Speaker
Hey bro, the moral of the story is, stay home where you fucking belong with the people you belong with. That's the moral of the fucking story. Don't step out of your hood. Stay in your fucking lane. You need to stay up in Quincy.
00:57:37
Speaker
Asian people shouldn't be in Boston, I'm No one fucking listens, bro. That's that's a terrible world. Which, by the way, he lives in a house of sticks, so it's not really safe as houses. They could break in there. It's made of bramble. It's made of bramble. And this movie is posing that rabbits are immortal when they're in bramble. Well, it's because a brave rabbit was born in the Briar Patch. The Briar Patch. I was molded by the bramble. Man's life is about his wife, Mr. Wayne. So we cut back to the real world. Mr. Wayne. Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne. I'm Bruce Wayne. I'm Bane Dern. Break your back. I'm fucking Batman. You are adapted to it. I was born into it. Bring me a bad joint.
00:58:29
Speaker
So Toby arrives now. Toby's here. And Johnny is hiding behind the door and Toby's like, I can't find that little white kid. I'm pretty sure he's dead. He's fucking sure I'm going to die. I couldn't find him. So yeah, he was dead freaking out. He got fucking lost. He got kidnapped. He got something. He fell in the the the milk or something. Fucking frogs teamed up on him.
00:58:51
Speaker
They had their revenge. It was the Mill Pond. Mill Creek is a company that releases Blu-rays. and and I'll trade you. I have nothing. Yeah. i I think your wife wants you to come live with me so she can be single is what I do. Your roommate's moving out. I'll move in. ah You'll never be alone. Oh, that's sad. No, you'll be alone a lot. No, you will. I won't leave my room because he'll be sleeping when you're working and then you'll be home when he's working. And then we're going to have a headset like fucking Xbox party chat just to talk to each other in the same house.
00:59:30
Speaker
What are you doing back there? Landing on Mars? Cool.
Humorous Commentary and Character Discussions
00:59:34
Speaker
It's fucking the two hours you'll actually be impassing with each other. There's plenty of time we're awake. and We don't sleep. Right now? sleep That's the thing, we don't sleep. July's. The movie's on. He saw you sleeping.
00:59:51
Speaker
Last time. Yeah, not this time. i'll Not for our podcast. No, Derek is awake for racism. oh I slept through it came from outer space. Yeah, that was pretty good kind of racist. There's no black people in that town. No, we fucking both were just like.
01:00:05
Speaker
it too It was lunch margaritas me and the guest zip we're just sitting here watching a movie and fucking people's houses who aren't us like This is do a podcast of about lunch margaritas lunch margaritas cuz I'm not the guy that takes notes He does that. The no guy is sleeping. Just imagine them sign the Declaration of Independence. Can you say wake up the guy that signs the minutes? This is kind of important. You wake up, John Hancock. He needs to make a big signature at the bottom. Wake up, Herbie Hancock. do So anyway, he could take Uncle Remus takes Johnny home and this is when we first see Johnny or Uncle Remus and Grandma. Ooh, there is actually tension here. They are fucking.
01:00:50
Speaker
What is a so mighty? Satisfactual, modest. That's at the end of the movie. This is just when he's like, I know, but I think it's their code word for like leave the window open. because I'm coming down that chimney, and I ain't talking about an house. Because he says something about her being, like, something about, like, I wouldn't want you to be too frail or something. She's like, you know I'm not frail. And he's like, oh, I know. Like, whoa. You know I'm stubborn, baby. I know. That's what it is, stubborn. Oh, I know you are. I know. We fucked before, and you refused to change positions. I was on top for one hour. I said, no pegging. And you said, I'm stubborn. Only pegging. If you wanted my butt, it goes in yours first. What?
01:01:30
Speaker
I like that. You know what you do. He doesn't even like but play. Well, it's his but now everyone knows. So there's a whole thing where Toby comes in and brings Johnny a frog. Yeah, we already talked talked about that a little bit. we We talked about the early version of more and the moral of this. They're the the the the moral. The way this scene ends is Johnny's mom comes in and says, you have to dress like Peter Pan, but with a frilly napkin around your throat. yeah Your grandma made this lace doily. Put it around your neck. And he decides that he's going to wear that while he goes out frog hunting with Toby. Yep.
01:02:08
Speaker
they meet No, you're not going to get dirty if we just take the frog back to his home because he's going to miss his mom and his paw. Well, that's not frog hunting. That's not frog hunting. You're not going to get dirty taking a frog home.
01:02:20
Speaker
But this is when they meet the favor kids. So two angry gingers and a cute little blonde girl. Just because they want to drown a puppy. And that's the first line we hear from the favors is we should drown this one. It's the runt of the litter. They were talking about Jenny. And so now we're finally introduced to what this movie is about because the driving force of this movie for a good portion of it is keeping this puppy away from murder twins.
01:02:46
Speaker
Not twins. They're not twins. But I like that. the The murder bros. Yeah. Super murder bros. Not super murder bros. It's to me, a redhead. Oh my God, drown it. It's a little tiny one. It's a puppy. I'm going to take it out for a little swim. Or the rock around a snake. Oh my God, a brick and snake. I'm going to eat it. Oh, you went to dog. We're going to make a hot dog. Oh, no. They said it's made out of a real dog.
01:03:14
Speaker
But they're making fun of my special Puccini mushroom. Puccini. Puccini, you hear. Oh, the dog left. That joke was so bad. Dogs like, nope. Oh, whoa, buddy. Talking about Puccini's. God, it's a better material. But like they're they're kind of leaning into yeah they're leaning into Johnny losing it and snapping here. Right. Because these little kids start chanting.
01:03:41
Speaker
a little girly, what is it, little girl in a lacy collar or some shit. I don't remember. Yeah, that was ours. They're doing like a chant. And when he goes away and gets to this pond, the music is still playing like, yeah, the dead the cadence of the yeah the theme of that. It's just getting.
01:03:59
Speaker
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
01:04:08
Speaker
yeah it's getting louder and louder and louder and finally this kid snaps and just throws some shit and i was like this kid's gonna go back and he's going to drown these brothers Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. We don't do CGI in the 40s. And by the way, I was born in the 40s, 1840s. It keeps you young, keeps you fresh. Look at it. No, not one wrinkle, except for Boston X. That's pretty wrinkly. okay Only when it's cold. Oh no, all the time. Hangs down. I can't even use a turd anymore. Flush my nutsick. Turn off the water again.
01:04:47
Speaker
Sit down and take a shit. Sit down and take a shit. I got a fling it over my shoulder. I wear it like a bandolier. You ever seen that Chewbacca character? I've seen some pig shit look like him sometimes. Pig shit? Yeah. You'd be surprised what they eat. Hair. You can spell it either way.
01:05:02
Speaker
you hear hear from the baby So Ginny shows up and gives the puppy to Johnny. Best way to cook a rabbit is to simmer it in pig shit. Oh, okay. I doubt it. That is better than... Me too, but it's only way I can cook. That is better than tar. No, I don't know what it is. I'm poor and lonely.
01:05:23
Speaker
So Johnny isn't allowed to keep the dog. He gets Remus to keep the dog, which is important later, I guess. Remus, he hardly knows us. And the favorite kids are harassing Remus to get the dog back. They're like, no, we need that dog. I'm like, they really need to murder. They just want to kill the dog really badly. They're it's insane. A whole movie. They're like, i yeah, the driving force of these those characters is we need this puppy so we can drown it.
01:05:48
Speaker
Well, I need to drown a puppy or I'm going to drown my sister's little sister's dog and they want to make her miserable. So they have to kill her. They would hate the idea of fucking dog adoption, right? Like, hey, this family wants this dog. Nope. Kill it. Put it down. No. Well, we'll kill it humanely, at least. Nope. Drown it. Right. ah Slowly. I wouldn't pig shit. I want it to inhale water and not understand what's happening. Oh, my God. Waterboard it.
01:06:13
Speaker
Although it's funny because they never actually mentioned any point later on about them trying to drown it. That is the whole thing and the reason why he takes it. Yeah. And they don't tell anyone else about it. No, nobody else. Tell the adults that these kids want to drown a puppy. Now it is the 1870s. They just be like, well, that's just boys being their puppy. They are those ginger kids who know those gingers love drowning things. You can't trust a gender. It's just it drowns puppies. Oh, look, they're drowning each other over there. Isn't that nice? Look, you didn't give him a dog. Now the little one's dead. Oh, great. You know, the big one would be dead. Little one's much more mean. Yeah. The big one wouldn't even know what to do. That face, though, when he was like.
01:06:52
Speaker
Ahh! So Glorimist kicks off this story with some dumb shit. It starts out with, so once upon a time, not your time, not my time, but any time, bro. you You are on drugs, my friend. It's just fucking a time. It's not this one, not that one, another one. But I was in it.
01:07:09
Speaker
But you're a mad man. I was in it. I was walking down the um the road. So the Fox has decided we're going to catch this rabbit with a tar baby. I can't do this. Wow. Yeah. Set out a top baby for us to catch this rabbit. Top baby, by the way, is what you call a child born with heroin in its system. Yeah.
01:07:35
Speaker
Ta babies all over Jersey. No wonder it wouldn't talk to this rabbit. It can. Undeveloped. Do you have to pee? No. Oh, it's poop. Wasn't it also a derogatory term to a black child? I believe so. Oh, that's... Probably. Well, that's unfortunate for that joke. I'm glad I got it in there first. Zing! Yeah. Yeah, that's a cool car baby. No, you can take mine out. No, I believe it. I didn't even think about it. Right. But that makes fucking all the sense. I remember my grandpa telling... My dad's dad telling me that. Yeah, right. Yep.
01:08:06
Speaker
Here's a book oh no maybe on'll yeah soapbox saint ga Yeah. Well, my joke wasn't about that. My joke was about people with drug addiction. Yep. yeah i So we'll we'll we'll from now on, it's TB. Yes. So they sent out this TB. Well, first, there's a little bit of back and forth between the fox and the bear about like putting hair on it and putting hats on it. and this This bear doesn't understand that he's enormous and just can eat this fucking fox. a book. Oh, no. Like one snap do this fox is scrawny as shit. You can snap that thing in half. Uh-huh I would be like Joey pants trying to boss around fucking ah arnold schwarzenegger There you go When I tell you what to do you fucking do it and I'm not going to do that because you're a little man. I'm going to snap your neck No, I want to hit him over the head with my club again and again. I want to take his head off. I set it up. He's not going to die that fast. I want to take his head off. like in head Oh, that's not my movie. You want to take his head off? No more drugs for that band. You remember when I said to take his head off last, I lied. It's like looking in a mirror, only not.
01:09:22
Speaker
A bunch of dudes come in a cup to make that. He's head tired.
01:09:29
Speaker
and There it is. Put him to sleep. It's head time. I've been head tired. Yeah. Or you can't hold your head up and you're just like. That's not what I meant. No, it's after a blowy he gets the winkies.
01:09:42
Speaker
Yeah, I get it. Or you just tired of giving it. Go on. It's been two hours. Depends on the week. All you can eat buffet. I signed up for. Yeah, but so. like So there's a kids movie. up They said they sent the little TV out on this log and the rabbit comes hopping by and says, how do you do? It doesn't respond. I fell and say nothing to me. He hops backward and then hops across. How do you do? All right. If you don't fucking answer me,
01:10:13
Speaker
I'm gonna punch you. One. Two. Gloop. Two and a half. Yeah, he doesn't get a two and a half in there. But I was sitting there like, well, he's distracted. Just eat the fucking rabbit. But no, they're waiting for him to punch the tar baby. I know you're not a Bond fan. This is a Bond villain move here. Like, shoot him in the head. No, that's not enough. You think they ever caught Sean Connery with a TB?
01:10:36
Speaker
but Tuberculosis. I mean, I don't know. He'd he'd sleep with anything. So it's. No, whether it was in pictures with ATB, not the TV. that's okay He's a piece of shit. Yeah, I don't care if he rests in pictures. He thought beating your wife was fine because she was your property. Oh, I didn't know that. And he said, when you punch a woman, when you hit a woman, you should come out there with the same veracity you would a man. Damn. Because he wasn't sexist.
01:11:01
Speaker
He thinks if you're going to punch, you should punch like a man. Just awful. But yeah. But so the rabbit gets stuck in the baby. No, no, no way I say this. It sounds like a child's movie. Every way I say this, it sounds worse in the blob of tar. Yeah. Thank you. That looks somewhat like a small person that looks like a bear. It looks like Paddington bear. It's a yellow jacket. Yeah, it's got the hats. Everything be Paddington. There you go.
01:11:27
Speaker
Nope. Don't like that. So in the middle of this story, there's a lesson already because uncle Remus says this teaches you what happens when you get mixed up with something you have no business getting mixed up with. Don't talk to strange moral.
01:11:43
Speaker
I feel like it was right back to that first one. You know, keep your head down. You shouldn't be talking to. Don't go places you shouldn't be going. Yep. Don't leave your house. he's This is his not so subtle way of telling this kid leave me alone. These aren't your people. Not either. Stop coming here to laugh at me while I tell you classic stories. Yeah, I know. But I find it very sad because these are the stories he tells. I find it kind of funny.
01:12:07
Speaker
Find it kind of sad. These are the stories he tells his children and his children's children. Like don't fuck with white people. Stay in your home. Don't leave these areas. Worse things will happen to you. Stay in the bar patch. like ah it just It's so heartbreaking.
01:12:25
Speaker
Yeah, the morals are not good. Don't think about it. And then the one too about the first one about not leaving your home yeah sounds like a thing. It's like, sure, things might be better out there because slavery is over and you can go somewhere else. But you know, it's fine here. I think it's like saying stay in a black neighborhood. If you go out in the world.
01:12:43
Speaker
Bad things will happen. So just stay here and work for nothing. This has been my philosophy forever. I'm a i'm a solid 42. If you go out in the world, bad things will happen. and i just i't It just breaks my heart. So the Fox, ah the the bear wants to knock his head off. I'm going to knock his head off. I'm going to dig get cleaned off in one hit. And the Fox decides he. Well, the Fox doesn't want that to happen. He wants to eat this rabbit, even though he kind of goes back to the fucking box.
01:13:10
Speaker
Well, that's that's the original story that the fox eats the bear rabbit and then bear fox gets eaten right afterwards. Good. Yeah. The the original story is a little darker. Well, and then a person kills the bear and eats it. And it's like the first turducken. It is like infamous for taking pretty dark stories and kind of like like Peter Pan. Oh, yeah. Peter Pan's way dark. Snow White Snow. What's dark about Snow White? Well, I just don't know that original story. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess it's involve a lot of what they do, but just the fact that he was, you know,
01:13:39
Speaker
And she was supposed to be cutting her heart out. And you know, they yeah she actually does like technically die. But oh wow yeah. Yeah. They took fairy tales and made them family friendly because fairy tales were fucked up. Oh, Pinocchio. Pinocchio kills Jiminy Cricket. Yeah. Yeah. He straight up kills him in the original. You know, I'm with him on that one. Kill your conscience. yeah You drown yours out with alcohol.
01:14:00
Speaker
No. Say the mermaid one. Give it a whistle. Whitney wants me to talk about The Little Mermaid. I can't think of the guy's name right now. Who wrote it? Christiansen? Hayden Christiansen? Nope. Hans Christian Andersen. I hate water. It gets everywhere. Hans Christian Andersen wrote The Little Mermaid. And it was actually a story about like He's gay. It was a story about gay love. It was a twisted love letter. And also the Little Mermaid was a creature with like scales and green skin. But, you know, that's not a sexy mermaid. No, no, not that sexy child mermaid. And the mermaid actually that out you murdered a sexy baby. The mermaid is murdered and they're supposed to go off and be happy and together. She turned it out a foam or something like that. Yeah. By the way, when I was talking about her being sexy, I was like fucking seven years old. Yes, it was very age appropriate. Yeah. Wonder what whatever you like. I'm sixteen. Dad currently have fish and she's ginger. So that fits.
01:14:58
Speaker
That's how you know she's crazy. She can't help but drown puppies. She lives under the water, dude. She just lays there in bed like a dead fish though. I mean, everything for children. Take her out of the water, dude, natural squirm. Damn. Everything for children was very morbid. You have Ring Around the Rosie.
01:15:15
Speaker
Uh-huh. Well, that's just about not smelling dead bodies. That's fine. and then Life advice, really. Wait, you never put a baby in a tree? Let's not let's not start judging jungle tribes that have to have their babies in trees.
01:15:33
Speaker
Why is everything put the baby up in the tree so the bears don't get it? Like when you go camping, right you have to put your cool right I see that baby up there in the tree. I'm going to get it. I'm going to eat that baby, but it's in the tree and I can't climb. I can barely stand it. Even the song You Are My Sunshine. It is a very depressing song.
01:15:52
Speaker
I was depressing about that one. So the second verse, you left me and now I'm here to die without like it's that's why we don't sing the second verse in America. It's outlawed. But so the rabbit. But I want to hang him. I want to skin him. I can't do it.
01:16:08
Speaker
I want to. Are you trying to walk in? Yeah, it's the fox doing the rabbit. Oh, I'm going to hang him, skin them, roast them even. Yeah. All those things. And that's what I want. It's like a rabbit up my ass for eight years as a form of torture. And I'll be damned if some stupid bear is going to get his hands on your father's birthright. Go on. I the had to continue.
01:16:32
Speaker
So Buru Bear is like, and I just want to knock his head off. I don't know what all these things are. No, not yet. Very single minded the whole whole time. Whole time. But he's not wrong. Like if your goal is to kill this rabbit. I mean, that'll do it. Do it. That'll do it. But we don't mean barely coyote style antics. Buru Rabbit is a trickster. And so he's like, yeah, you know what? I really hate if you skin me.
01:16:56
Speaker
Yeah, but I would also really hate if you threw me in that briar patch over there No, no, he's like so because it starts with like yeah roast me. That's fine. Roast me. That's that's fine, but do not throw me in the pit oh that's me he's like me oh Maybe I'll skin him. Yeah. Yeah, you can skin me you can definitely skin me just don't throw me in the briar patch Yeah, no, that's fine Stu Stu sounds good Just don't throw him me a fucking briar patch. Oh, the da riot bra so right there reverse Fox throws him in the briar patch and he has a whole fake death scene. He's acting things out for nobody but himself. He's like grabbing a flower and putting it on his chest. like That was for you. He couldn't see it. That was for you.
01:17:34
Speaker
But then he pops up out of it and he says, I was born in the Briar patch molded by it. And so I believe we recasted me and that one does not get the letter. Bruce Durnis, pain. I was born in the Briar. pat I was your. Yeah, I was. I was molded by itold by it. Smoking joints in it. It's me and the Briar. You're merely adapted to the Briar. I couldn't be higher from not in the Briar. Where's my Nazi stuff? Wow. Not the actor, just the character of Wild Angels.
01:18:04
Speaker
Oh, so we he escapes. Now we go back to the real world. um Hard quotes. Not if I can help it. and It's the little favor kids telling him, Johnny, like, hey, we're going to go fucking tattle on you because that's all we got.
01:18:23
Speaker
And he's like and he learned from the story, which is pretty good because these kids are just as dumb as this fox and this rabbit. I realize that he is a rare rabbit and they are the rare. Exactly. Fox and tall ones, the bear. Exactly. He's the one that's like, yeah.
01:18:38
Speaker
They're like, we're going to tell your we're going to tell Hattie McDaniel. We're going to tell your mom. We're going to tell your grandma. And he's like, dude, tell them, tell all of them. That's great. But you know, the one thing you don't do, don't tell your mom, because Remus had just told him, if you tell their mom, they're harassing you. She'll beat the fuck out. No, it was a little girl. Yeah. Oh, it was my dog. And I can do what I wanted with it. And I gave it to you. And that's fine. My mom will give them such a whooping.
01:19:06
Speaker
should put the age in the hood. And so but did I hear spankings? mary And she did because the CPA wasn't around back then. Yeah, we we cut the method actor. We cut to child abuse. Yeah. But, you know, sometimes kids deserve it. No, just kidding. These kids deserved it. Yes, they did. But they're fake kids, so it's OK. I don't know. That fight look kind of looks real. we're Drowning dogs, dude. The fight wasn't in the script. They just shot it and they were like, you know, what we' kind of looks right? Well, yeah, pull that little shit's hair. So then they go and tattle to his mom and Johnny is banned from going and hearing any more stories from Uncle Remus because it's teaching him bad lessons, even though it's. But she doesn't tell Johnny.
Modern Parallels and YouTube Culture
01:19:50
Speaker
She tells Remus. Yeah, she tells Remus. She scolds Remus because that's her property.
01:19:55
Speaker
Yeah, this is the now day equivalent of no more tablet time. No more screen time. dude yeah Yeah, those those YouTube videos are wrecking you. No more stories from Uncle YouTube. You can't watch Bluey anymore. No more male father figure in your life. but See, it doesn't work as well. It doesn't work as well because you can't tell YouTube. Don't show my kid any more videos. Yeah. Well, you can put parental locks on it, I guess. Yeah, they can get around that. Fair.
01:20:19
Speaker
I'm a teacher kid. YouTube's like, look, I'm not showing him anything he doesn't already know. He said he was all right. White supremacy. Anger at wokeness. ah I don't know. Star Wars is bad. Yes. Star Wars bad.
01:20:35
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know what's on YouTube. I don't YouTube. Try not to. Skibbity toilet. ah Skibbity toilet. You've never heard of that. Michael Bay's doing a movie of it. What the fuck? Of course. Please go on. Yeah. No, it's basically these heads that pop out of toilets and they're evil and they fight these humanoids, but they have camera. Did you say hemorrhoids or humanoids? Humanoids. They're human. They have human bodies, but cameras, speakers, and televisions is had and they fight the heads in the toilets. So this sounds like. What's more amazing than Vern's description is how normal He just said everything. Yeah, this is YouTube. It's one of the most there are millions of hundreds of millions of views for each of these videos. So if you guys are ever curious about why we don't have YouTube video content other than those couple of episodes we did, because I can't be part of that world. I am putting my fucking head in a toilet. Part of that world. He did. He did. I witnessed it. We're all here. We're all here to Disney together.
01:21:28
Speaker
So Disney. Oh, and she also tells him to get rid of canceled. She also tells Remus to get rid of the dog because she told Johnny to get rid of the dog. So Johnny shows up with a bone because apparently dogs eat bones. Mm hmm. We all know that you're supposed to give dogs bones and they don't break into shards and stab them in the back then. You did not. Beef bones fine. Yeah, it's ah the bird. This one boiled.
01:21:51
Speaker
Oh, this is raw. It's pretty clean for being raw. yeah It's probably roasted at 450 for 30 minutes per pound. I mean, did you see that on it? It's roasted over 14 logs. I wanted this kitchen so bad, but like not not as a slave, but just like as a fucking hipster cook. In the in the wintertime only. It would be amazing.
01:22:11
Speaker
It's ah just a giant fireplace with a pot in it. It's great. well there And the oven next to it. And then, ah ah you know, a little prep table right in front made out of brick. That's not going to be hard to clean. You know where I'm not standing? In front of the raging fireplace while I'm cutting stuff. Damn, that's a workshop you might. Nah, it doesn't get cold enough here. Well, it does. move to kids It does where it's filmed in Phoenix. yeah Right, not much better. Damn it, Pumpkinville.
01:22:37
Speaker
But so there's a birthday party happening for Johnny because it's his birthday. So he goes to get Jenny to go to the party. He can cry if he wants to. She's got this dress and she's like, it was it's brand new. It was my mom's wedding dress. First of all, that's not brand new. Second of all, how old was your mom when she got married? Because it fits her quite well. It's well because it was definitely she cut all the material out of her wedding dress and made a dress for. Yeah, yeah I think this girl got married when she was eight.
01:23:02
Speaker
no she didn't start that late and this is the 1800s people just did that she's an old maid she probably got married at 13 and that's why the front was just cinched up about five inches midnight perhaps just a year and a half later afraid and the brothers follow them make fun of them shove her into the mud Johnny attacks that little shit and he's stupid. Well, when that boy yeah came at him like a spider monkey. Yeah, he's like a spider monkey. I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew. Quit pushing your sister. Back then, Mountain Dew was actually just alcohol, though. Probably. it's It was it was called it. Yeah, it was a nickname for moonshine. Was it really? melt home yeah yeah Yeah, I didn't know that it it't in the mountains and it's the do of mob and it's huh. Dewey, it was the Southern and Scotch Irish slang term for moonshine. Huh? It was referenced in the 1882 Irish folk song that rare old Mountain Dew.
01:23:58
Speaker
wow that ro mountain do every morning i'm through i'm through with sobriety and society and i need me mountain do i've heard no words yeah a thousand times right yeah it's beautiful there's not a second verse but uncle remus comes in and saves this little kid from being beaten to death with a stick oh yeah by older breer bear brother ah he was gonna take his head clean off Yeah, that's what that does. This stick this kid picked up is not a I'm whacking you to get you off my brother's stick. This is a murder. stick This is a murder. Stick is right there. This is a baseball bat that hasn't been carved. It's summer murder stick. So he goes off with the kids. Remus does. And he tells them another story about laughing. I don't know. So the father, you know, it happens if you can't stop laughing.
01:24:51
Speaker
The fox and the bear already have the rabbit in this story. Oh, yeah. Find your laughing place. They're going to cook them over every day. I try, baby. And his idea is to just start laughing because they're fucking stupid. Mm hmm. The fox in this case is not falling for it, but Bear Bear is a fucking idiot and a unit. So he's going to get his way. So he's like.
01:25:17
Speaker
Show me where your laughing place is. it's like I can't show you where my laughing place is when I'm all tied up like this. Don't fall for it. He's trying to escape. Get away even. He wants to fool you because you're fucking stupid. Wow. The imagine the the amount of brains you don't have astonishing.
01:25:36
Speaker
So they take him on a leash. Basically, they leave the rope around his neck and they're yanking on this thing. I'm like, dude, that rabbit's neck is broken. I hope they have a safe. The bears also holding on to the fox's tail and yanking that, too. Yeah. But I mean, this fox yank and I go second. This fox yanking on this fucking rope around this rabbit's neck. It's like, oh, oops, killed him. I did kill him. Wow. Time for stew everybody. Oh, thank goodness for cartoon physics. So he gets to his laughing place, which is a beehive that he makes the bear shove his head into. And a bag of mushrooms. And that's kind of the end of that story.
01:26:15
Speaker
Yeah, they get beat and run off. Yep, they get beat on. I like it when I get beat on, you know what I'm saying? Oh, wait, did somebody say get beat on? No, no, we're talking about something different slide. Nobody take your pants off and poop on him. Somebody's talking about getting peed on. Oh, no. I love that you have to make your hands smaller when you do that. This is why I do want video. Stephen Seagal, you have to squint your eyes. And when you do Christian Slater, or Jack Nicholson, you go, threw him off the goddamn bridge, man. There's all these little pantomimes you have to do for certain characters. Like if you're doing a certain British character, Mako Kain. I'm in character now so mom says that's it stay away from Johnny permanently forever uncle remiss you shit dude she like I should have known it's my fault and he's like oh really well he even says my fault for thinking you could shut the fuck fuck up for a second and stop telling stories. He says earlier in the movie that she used to come to him and get these stories all the time. Uh-huh. So she knows the stories. And look what happened. Her marriage is falling apart. Her husband's a damn fucking leftist. Fucking liberal. Fucking liberal, dude. Thinking black people are people. That's the part that confused me because the dad was talking about all these stories that Uncle Remus will talk about. I'm like, how does the dad fucking know? Are they brother? They got married at 12.
01:27:43
Speaker
Yeah, they had still have to live at home. They're still children. and Couldn't own a home yet. Was he one of the favors? who No, they wouldn't marry that low. He was like, oh, the plantation across the way. People don't want to ginger up their bloodlines often. Look, his wedding gift to them was little fun stories about foxes and bears because they were still in elementary school. You know, there's sperm banks that won't take red ginger semen. Really? Yeah, I keep mailing it to them and mailing it to them. That's a real story. It's a real thing, though, like there's I don't know if it still is, but there has been plenty of sperm banks that just didn't want ginger. We have enough babies is what they're saying. No, they want is they want is gone.
01:28:23
Speaker
Oh, extinct. It's going to happen. Where are we now? So Uncle Remus is now packing up to leave because he's like packing up. He'd been putting three shirts in a bag and a hat. He's got an extra hat. He put it in a hat. He did put it in a hat. And I thought for a hot second, he was about to take off his curtains and put them in there. But he was closing them. But it's like he had shirts. Well, this shirt, it's a curtain. Doesn't matter. It's a house all that he's only known.
01:28:51
Speaker
He's packing up to leave because he can't tell stories to a little white boy anymore, so it's this little fucking shit kid's fault Well, but he knows that like I'm doing good, but this fucking kid is gonna keep getting in trouble Well, this he is he is helping he was told to stay away. and You know that kids gonna keep coming to his house anyway Exactly. That's the can it's that classic movie thing where like the people don't tell the other people what's really going on or TV thing where it's like if you just told them this show would be two episodes. But you didn't tell them. So now we've got twenty two classic Shakespearean misunderstanding. He's got a lot of comedies. A lot.
01:29:29
Speaker
But so he's packing up to leave. Johnny comes and finds out that he's leaving and sees him leaving in a cart. So he decides to run through. what We didn't mention earlier was this pasture where he'd come to anything. They neither explained exactly what it was doing. Yeah, there's a pasture where there's a bull and they try to take a shortcut through it earlier until we told Johnny if I was a kid, I'd be more afraid of a pastor.
01:29:51
Speaker
Not back then. They didn't talk. He's coming. He's coming to you with like a bull. He decides to go through in his crushed red velvet suit. Yes. So this bull will chase you if you go into its pasture. So Johnny runs through to catch Remus. The bull chases him and kills him. No, it doesn't kill him. i Well, it does. It catches him and
Climax and Resolution
01:30:10
Speaker
knocks him down. I think it enters them and he dies in bed. Yeah. So ain't there. So we're at the end of this movie. Oh, yeah. It's his birthday still, by the way. Happy birthday. You're dead.
01:30:20
Speaker
We're at the end of this movie and. All of the plantation people. We're pretty sure that this kid died and this is all a dream, right? Yeah, that's what makes the most sense. I mean, yeah. Yeah. So all all of the black people gather outside the house to sing songs while the kid is inside trying to recuperate singing songs about tragic shit that happens. And they're like, we're going to have more faith in him. It's like God took this little kid. It's that classic. of um It's that classic job story. You know, like, oh, well, I have I've seen arrested development. God. testing my faith so like he he gave me boils and he killed my children and he took my land but it's okay God is good did they they did that on South Park right uh-huh Kyle's mom was telling him the story and he's like
01:31:07
Speaker
What's the point of that story? That's a horrible story. Horrible. Yeah. I don't know what you took from it, but I did not get that. Yeah. So God's a sadist way. Fucking. He's also very jealous. My safe word is Methuselah. So Temi was the only one that was allowed in the house, right? Toby.
01:31:26
Speaker
Tammy. Oh, timm oh tell me. Tell me you're in the house. re Remus went in the house earlier. Remember, we got pie from the kitchen, but that's still the house. that's the But he doesn't get to go upstairs. He went through the servants. He was only upstairs and this kid was dying. Yep. No, that's what I mean. I say he did go in the house. He just didn't go upstairs. Don't use the front door. Uh uh. You see Johnny dying and grandma's like, I have a great idea. i mean Let's allow a black person in our home. Yeah. For for the first time ever. God.
01:31:54
Speaker
18 whatever good god 2019 this is still Georgia, so I'm sure it's not that do you know who the first? African-american male was to headline the Grand Ole Opry know who Darius Rucker. Oh damn serious of hooting the blowfish if people think yeah, I know was he was he hooting or was he just he was Darius Rucker because he's a country musician Yeah, so post hoodie in the ball fish, but isn't that crazy how long that took for wow? a black African for a black ah male lead. That's crazy. I also learned in ah some class in college that I took for dumb credit, like some elective, no bands. like I don't remember when the first one was. It might have been the 70s. It might have been the 80s. You weren't allowed to have drums if you play country music as a band in the Grand Ole Opry. That makes sense because drums were black instruments. What? That makes it's because it's because rhythm and beat is a tribal thing to somebody that's scared of it.
01:32:52
Speaker
because white people don't have rhythm and they don't want these drums around proving it. You tell it to Steve Martin and the jerk. Well, he was born a poor black child. I mean, he found his rhythm. Well, didn't ah Dave Grohl take most of his drum beats from like African-American funk bands from the 70s and always no, he actually did say that. And I don't know this.
01:33:14
Speaker
Oh yeah. So grandma allows Remus into the house, um presumably because she's like, well, he's black, so he must be magic. He is magic. It's also because she knows her grandson's dead and she needs some of that consolation kick. Status actor. So he tells a story. that I got a factual factual factual. He tells a story that brings Johnny back to life. And that's what he leaves. He says he doesn't even look at mighty satisfactory. Johnny doesn't even acknowledge. re Like he is begging for Remus, begging for Remus, begging for Uncle Remus. Uncle Remus comes up and he is like and then Johnny wakes up and he goes, Daddy, you're right. You're totally right. Remus is like, guess I'm done, bro. No, actually, I'm your granddaddy. yeah That's right. I mean, fucking your grandma.
01:34:00
Speaker
They're on strong and whatnot. Things are looking mighty. Satisfactual. It's that second time. And he's like, no, you're missing this day. Your grandma said take the back entrance. I didn't know she fucking meant so I bent her over and I took her back entrance. She liked it. It's a misunderstanding. But hey, she was left standing. Wow.
01:34:22
Speaker
So then the movie ends with the kids dancing and singing. Uncle Remus is watching them. It's Johnny, Ginny and Toby. yeah mean like braley meet bear red j g t The good kids, not those little shitbirds. Well, these kids are shitbirds too. No, I'm telling you, they die drowning each other.
01:34:38
Speaker
Yeah, so they start
Historical Significance and Reviews
01:34:40
Speaker
seeing a rabbit and a bluebird and Remus is like, oh, Remus is seeing it and rubbing his eyes like, what the fuck are we all doing? It's the truth. that It's factual. He looks all surprised. Everything is satisfactory. They got hit by the Spanish flu. ands but And they walk off into the sunset and their doom.
01:35:00
Speaker
The mushroom bread. Okay, real quick. Do you know about what actually caused, like what they think caused the Salem witch trials? There was a documentary about it where it's had something to do with something upstream that infected the water with hallucinogens akin to acid. Like think about, must just think, no, like, but I'm saying like, think about being dosed with acid, not knowing it is what was happening to these people.
01:35:21
Speaker
that the Yeah, ah for Tucson people, it looks like the water at golf and stuff. So anybody else, it looks like the water at any theme park you've been to, except any of the color on top looked like coolant. It was like this bright green. Yeah. Just resting on top, her white, dangling her feet in there for a fucking movie called Lake Flacid. That's that exactly color, dude. Yeah. It was really popping. Pond scum was popping on screen. I mean, I guess we could do a recommendation, even though you can't watch this unless you find one of these. OK, so then we'll do this little caveat to it if it was streamable. OK, would you recommend it? Well, first, I mean, honestly, if you're curious about it and you're going into it, looking at it as a piece of history. Yes, I do think it's actually worth watching.
01:36:23
Speaker
I actually agree with you because I don't think, we won't learn from our mistakes if they are erased from everybody's lives. I do agree with that. As long as you watch this knowing that this is not okay. yeah Like, but I mean, i I grew up watching this and it's not terrible. Like the acting isn't terrible. the plot line is horrendous. What little there is. But this is what the first movie that we have done that was actually like. An amazing ah hit or whatever. yeah Yeah, one of the first besides Michael Bay.
01:37:02
Speaker
It's gonna be bae. Fuck bae. Jack. I don't recommend it. It's not because, I agree with what you're saying, like, you had to learn from the past yada yada. Not to yada yada that, but I just was bored, man. Like, it was not entertaining enough. It wasn't as... It wasn't as racist as I thought it was gonna be. We did have your caveats, too. It's still very problematic. I was so happy watching this that I was not at home alone watching it. Yeah. I would have fucking called him in like cancel. I thought you were gonna say I was so happy we started with a shot of tequila. Oh, I was so happy we started with a shot of tequila. For sure. I hope that doesn't show through the episode. But no, I just, I, it felt long as fuck, man. It did feel very long. Hour and a half felt like two days. You did mention that you're like, how long is this movie? It feels like it's been two hours. It was an hour and twelve for each cartoon scene. I was like, well, this is done, right? This is no. He has to get chased by a fucking bull. I mean, at least I can get hit by a bull. Yeah, which I would have seen it. Give me a ragdoll little Jimmy. Did we mention he almost made it to the fence? Oh, he was very close. He was right underneath that fence. Very close. I don't know. I'm going to fall right. I don't I don't know.
01:38:14
Speaker
So I bought this movie on Blu-ray through a source online, the same place where I got my 4K Star Wars unadulterated by George Lucas's ego. Oh, man, those are good too. But I bought it for the purposes that Vern and Whitney were saying. Like, this is a piece of history. It's something I was curious about.
01:38:36
Speaker
Um, and if you're in that realm and you do think that that's something you'd be interested in if you're a film fan and that's something you watch it for that reason. But otherwise, I agree with Jack. It was so boring. The cartoons were great. I loved the cartoons, actually, if they had been this fox is giving me anxiety. This whole thing should have been a cartoon. Well, if they had been fully fleshed out, like if it had been a feature length cartoon, first of all, we could have probably avoided some of this, although the voices the cartoons are using aren't great. Terrible, which is why we didn't do them. Yeah. But we could have avoided some of those problems. But also, I feel like there would have been more. It would have been more fun. It would have been it might have been too much at 97, but it wouldn't have been 97 if it was just a cartoon. It would have been whatever those were back then. 70 minutes. Yeah. Like Dumbo was only like close to 80.
01:39:19
Speaker
Yeah, so that's in and out, you know, so I don't know. I don't know. I guess for historical purposes, yes. For entertainment purposes, no. Yeah, I was car bored. Yeah. Yeah. It was it was not fun to watch. Really. No, it was fun with my friends. Yeah. Making fun of it was awesome.
01:39:37
Speaker
Because if you ever seen so dear to my heart, which was actually Disney's personal favorite, also starring Bobby Driscoll, it's very similar. It's like just showing this life on this farm, but also telling these stories about this sheep in cartoon form. And it doesn't always mesh well together. but it Sorry. Some of the reviews I saw. No, not you. I wasn't telling you that'll do. Oh, she was a cartoon pig, even though he wasn't a cartoon. Yeah. You know, babe, babe. Yeah. He said sheep. And so I thought, but wait, donald'll do sheep, that sounds wooly good.
01:40:09
Speaker
It does sound like. Well, we got to get out of here. No, continue. I'm so sorry. No, that was pretty much all I had to say. I saw i'm an asshole some reviews I read said that like basically people said kind of similar to what I did. They were like, this movie kind of sucked except for the animation because Disney is known for animation, but
Conclusion and Upcoming Content
01:40:26
Speaker
they want to do this live action and hard quotes is how they wrote it. Like and this it's not capturing the Disney magic. It's like you have these magical fun moments and then you have this crap, but it's peppered in with songs.
01:40:38
Speaker
And it said a lot of good songs. Zippity-doo-dah is the one that stuck in my head. Yeah, that's the most iconic. What's the other one? How you doing? or How do you do? how Mighty Pleasant Greeting. How do you do? Say it when you're greeting. How do you do? I'm pretty good. Sure, you're born. That actually just reminded me of the most genuine laugh I had throughout this entire thing.
01:40:59
Speaker
It's when the mom was telling Ginny, the little girl, to have her manners. And so she says, was it nice to meet you? And she does like a curtsy. But right after she like sells out Remus and Johnny to the mom, she's like, Remus was telling us stories and this and that. nada And then she's like walking away covered in mud. She turns out, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. That was one laugh. Yeah, no, that's what I said. One. But so that's it for this week and this entire month of shitbird madness. Thank fucking God till next year. 11 more months. So don't forget to check out our Patreon at patreon dot.com slash worst people.
01:41:38
Speaker
ah You can get you get a bonus episode every month. You get some other cool shit. This month's episode is E.T., the extraterrestrial. We're going to work on a gif of me winking at you. And by the way, in case anybody's forgot, don't come at me. Those episodes are are like mental health movies. They're good movies. E.T. is a good movie. Everyone knows it's a safe space here. i would E.T. is good. We love it. Are we going to have guns or walkie talkies? I believe guns on the copy. I have Steven Spielberg and did that. show I will bring whatever they don't have.
01:42:06
Speaker
okay which you can get a patreon dot com slash where's people for only three dollars a month. Yeah, you get a fun letter from us saying like what else we watch other than the shit this guy makes us watch. Well, you get the in the preview newsletter, you get everything that's coming up for the month. You get the episodes of Hahn Tuk shots first early and ad free ad free. Are you Max? Yeah, Max Headroom. Yeah, ad free. But I also have something fun to do at the end of this episode. Oh, what is that? So coming up in the month of September,
01:42:37
Speaker
We have a Friday, of the 13th. You know what that means, Jack Halloween now, a Friday, the 13th movie. It seems so obvious. Last year, we started the tradition of covering Friday, the 13th movies every Friday, the 13th. We did ah Jason versus Kerry. Yeah. Number seven, the new blood. Am I coming to you? Which is my personal favorite.
01:43:01
Speaker
If you're lucky, also the first with ah Kane Hodder, by the way. Yes. Oh, you're passing. Oh, no. Vern's picking. Oh, no, you're good. No, you're picking. You are. You're the better. Yeah. Vern is going to randomly choose a Blu-ray out of the bag. And this is the Friday, of the 13th movie we are covering in September. Friday, the 13th, part five. A new beginning. Oh, snap. We're going to have a Feldman. right Yeah. Yes. He does make a cameo on this after his first appearance. Yes. or This is a cameo because this is the alternate future.
01:43:31
Speaker
ah Well, it's on record. We're doing five. yeah is Is this still part of the continuity or a six? Overwrite the continuity of five with Tommy Jarvis is bringing him back from a zombie. How would I know that? I don't know any of this. What's his name, Doug?
01:43:44
Speaker
Ray Roy, the ro each yes, Roy. But so that's that's what we're going to do next month for our extra bonus episode. You heard it here first. We are. Next week's episode will be a Dolph Lundgren movie. Can I have Vern deliver the one line that made me want to watch this? Yes. Oh, yes. I come in peace and you go in pieces, asshole. Boom. That's comedy. This movie is titled either Dark Angel or I come in peace. Oh, yes. I come in peace. I knew the alternate title. Yeah. Looking forward to it. And so we, of course, have to think we of course have to thank Evasion for our opening and closing music. Go check those guys out and support them, too. I've been Derek. I'm still Whitney. I'm Brother Jack. I'm Vern. Zippity doodas. Zippity fuck yourself.
01:44:34
Speaker
i'
01:45:02
Speaker
Oh, I caught that right away, pilgrim. Let me tell you something, brother. You don't pour whiskey around me without me smelling that chicken. Did you just do Gary Busey doing John Wayne? I caught that right away, pilgrim. Let me tell you something. I was fucking gang is calm. You don't know shit about shit. ah Turns out everybody was fucking gang is calm. No, consensual by the way. I know a thing or two about consent. I've been sued for it.