Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep 154: The Punisher (1989, Schlock & Load!) image

Ep 154: The Punisher (1989, Schlock & Load!)

S3 E32 ยท Bad Movies Worse People
Avatar
0 Playsin 1 day

Figuring out what comic book adaptation to do for Schlock & Load is tough when it's a month full of schlock, so we decided to go full-on '80s goofball action with repeat "welcome back" Dolph Lundgren in THE PUNISHER! Pretty much your standard origin story about Frank Castle's family being horrifically murdered by the Mafia, causing him to seek revenge in an increasingly horrific fashion. This one, surprisingly, isn't available streaming, but you can find it on YouTube right here.

Get a lot more Bad Movies Worse People at patreon.com/worsepeople

Find our exclusive merch in our new webstore at shop.badmoviesworsepeople.com

Remember to check out our Star Wars podcast Han Took Shots First anywhere you get podcasts or hantookshotsfirstpod.com

Recommended
Transcript

Introduction to Hosts and Theme

00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the superhero. Spectacular. And this is our schlock and load episode. And this week, the guilty will be punished. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney.
00:00:10
Speaker
I'm guilty. And this is bad movies. Where's people?

The Punisher Movie Discussion Begins

00:00:48
Speaker
Bippity boppity. We're back. This movie needs a 4K glow up. Yes. Boutique. I want to have this on the shelf so bad.
00:01:02
Speaker
Yeah, we need anything. think it's just Disney is probably... wanting this to not exist because they were doing stuff with the Punisher and they do say shit within the first like i don' i like eight times in the first five minutes of this movie. So, oh yeah.
00:01:19
Speaker
Do you know this movie doesn't have though? Boops. Nerps. Nerps. Oh wait, doesn't it though at the at the club or the casino? I thought we got some fucking silhouette of nerps. I think we got some.
00:01:31
Speaker
I think we get some Denley lit nips. it has some ah and illustrated It has some illustrated. some illustrated nips. Yeah. In the opening sequence. This very like James Bond esque, like whatever's going on in this opening. Yeah. This kind of kind of giving me like ah flashbacks, like acid flashbacks. little bad bit. Acid flashback with nerves.
00:01:56
Speaker
Don't yours have nips? Yeah, how are your ashen? Ashen? and My ashen flashbacks don't have any nips. are ashen flashbacks?
00:02:04
Speaker
But yes, we are talking this week about The Punisher. Directed by Mr. Mark Goldblatt. o Episode 154, guys.
00:02:16
Speaker
As long as I get Superman out before this one like I'm supposed to. Otherwise, it's 153. Otherwise, it's a lie.
00:02:28
Speaker
But ah Mark Goldblatt is a welcome back to the show. I thought I recognized that name, Goldblatt. Yeah, i don't I wrote down the one movie i know knew. I don't know if he did other stuff or if these are the two movies, but he also directed Dead Heat.
00:02:42
Speaker
OK, OK, that's right. Which is funny because at the end of the movie, when ah Frank Castle and this ah Franco fella are going to raid the the Yakuza place, Franco has a slick back hair, puts on his jean jacket.
00:02:58
Speaker
And I was like, he looks like Fat Treat Williams right there. Yeah. So it just kind of made me laugh. I was digging this jacket, Jack. How about you?

The Punisher's Availability and Connections

00:03:08
Speaker
Oh, I love this is the best Punisher movie that exists.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yeah. Let me tell you up top. I mentioned it before, but this is not streaming because Disney Disney something. But it is available on YouTube in a pretty high quality.
00:03:23
Speaker
That's how I watch the Blu-ray rip. Yeah, that's how I watched it. Yeah, because it was on Blu-ray and ah well, ah umbrella in Australia put it on Blu-ray, but it's out of print, so I can't afford it. Do you? know ah Jack, we watched a different version.
00:03:42
Speaker
Right. Yeah. We watched it with our friend Cam Rippey. Mm hmm. Do you think your version missed anything? I don't know. but He saw Nerps and he was on YouTube. So, oh, yeah. Oh, I can't have any of those.
00:03:57
Speaker
At least, I mean, it looked like it to me and I was really looking. Was it in the like the casino? Yeah. Like right before he drops down. um Oh, this director is also kind of a welcome back in another way, too.

Director's Other Works

00:04:12
Speaker
He was mostly ah an editor. So we've had him on before because he edited Rambo 2 or First Blood Part 2 Rambo colon slash dot dot com. And he edited Super Mario Brothers.
00:04:24
Speaker
Oh, nice. All right. Okay. And he'll be back because he edited Starship Troopers and Showgirls as well. so We ain't going anywhere without him. And then it was written by a guy who this was his first screenplay.
00:04:38
Speaker
Boaz Yakin. but Okay. um Boaz Yakin. it's Man, I'm pronouncing it the way it's spelled. My Boaz be Yakin after a night of drinking. All my Boaz.
00:04:50
Speaker
Look at all my Boaz had too much drinking and now there's Yakin. He went on to write ah The Rookie. okay No, that was regard the year. The rookie is Brendan Fraser.
00:05:02
Speaker
oh also baseball, though. Yeah, still baseball. And ah what's his name? Albert Brooks. Yeah. Okay. I know I've seen the cover. I've never seen the movie.
00:05:13
Speaker
It's not bad. mean, you know I love in some baseball movies. He also wrote Now You See Me, and he wrote the Prince of Persia Sands of Time movie with Jake Gyllenhaal. Yikes. That had a writer?
00:05:26
Speaker
Strange. That's going to be Don't Change That Dial, right? Yeah. One of these days. And he directed Remember the Titans. ah bad Not bad. man so he's yeah He's got some stuff.
00:05:41
Speaker
I like Remember the Titans. So we got the box office game, kind of. Okay. Give it to me, Daddy. What do you mean, kind of? So this had no United States release theatrically.
00:05:52
Speaker
ah And also Sweden and South Africa, it was banned for violence. Wow. So it was direct to video. South Africa, just because it was white on white crime.
00:06:05
Speaker
probably But it did get ah limited international release. So the budget of this movie was $9 million. dollars Well, hearing all that, I'm going to say $3.5
00:06:20
Speaker
It made money. It's $13 million. it made money it's thirteen million Maybe million. this a canon?

Marvel's Ownership Background

00:06:28
Speaker
all right good i mean is this a canon It is New World Pictures, which is funny because that's actually the same studio behind Fantastic Four that we covered this month. Oh. Because it's... But Roger Corman didn't produce it, but it is his company.
00:06:45
Speaker
This is when they were having a lot of financial troubles. um Funny enough, though, they were having financial troubles, but at the time, they didn't buy the rights to this movie. They bought Marvel.
00:07:00
Speaker
How much they spend on that? I didn't find a number, but at the time, New World Pictures owned Marvel. Wow. that's how bad Marvel was doing. Wow.
00:07:12
Speaker
But yeah, I mean, well just like the movie, we'll just get right into it. Let's get

Casting Choices for Frank Castle

00:07:17
Speaker
into it. Yeah, because it does, dude. there's There's very little setup. I mean, it's like, hey, here's Frank Castle. Here's the Punisher. Figure it out.
00:07:24
Speaker
Yeah. Here's his naked butt. Yeah. Yeah. i mean, we start with fighting out this guy. Dino Moretti gets acquitted for killing Frank Castle and his family. He does not long for the world after that.
00:07:36
Speaker
um That guy was is played by a guy named Brian Marshall, who I only mentioned because he was in a movie called BMX Bandits. Oh, you've mentioned that before. Yeah. Directed by Brian Trenchard Smith, who is one of the great exploitation action actors of of the eighty s and okay um And then we have Frank Castle played by Dolph Lundgren, although who is a welcome back, by the way, three times now. Right.
00:08:02
Speaker
Yeah. ah this i mean, I know we got Universal Soldier and Dark Angel and Dark Angel. That's right. and And we will be having him again. Yeah. Red Scorpion. Showdown Little Tokyo.
00:08:14
Speaker
Yeah. The Expendables, the Expendables Masters of the Universe. OK, the guy's done a lot of movies. You see, he's done a lot of big movies. He's done done a lot of movies where he barely speaks English and he's doing good. OK, fucking all, sir.
00:08:28
Speaker
And to remind those who are just listening, Whitney has a whiteboard and she writes down impressions for Jack to do. So if it just sounds like he's randomly throwing out. so Whitney has a whiteboard because sometimes she is white and bored.
00:08:42
Speaker
I'm not always white. i Always a i blue.
00:08:47
Speaker
Today, or today. So Frank Castle is played by Dolph Lundgren. Oh, you know who I read almost was actually cast to play Frank. I was hoping you had it almost.
00:08:59
Speaker
um But he had to ah he was forced to decline because of an ankle injury. JCVD. No, although it'd funny. Schwarzenegger. I am American. I am very mad about it.
00:09:10
Speaker
I'm thinking, yeah, right. I mean, he played a flawless guile. um I'm thinking Sly Stone. No, think smaller. Danny DeVito.
00:09:24
Speaker
There's got to be a middle ground somewhere. not physically smaller. I mean, we all know Thomas Jane played him. Okay, so think along the lines of Thomas Jane.
00:09:36
Speaker
Tom Cruise. No, but he's somebody who Whitney has confused Thomas Jane and this guy multiple times. Oh, with Thomas Jane. Christopher Lambert? Yeah. Yes. Christopher Lambert. I was looking on my shelf because I have this movie, The Resurrection, where he's it's like seven and he's a cop.
00:09:52
Speaker
The guilty will be punished. That is the name, is the Punisher. And then later I'm going to take her home and punish her. yeah yeah What year was Highlander? 85? That sounds about right.
00:10:06
Speaker
So he had just learned to speak English, so he'd fit right in with Dolph here. He'd be fine. He would be, I mean, it's just a lot less intimidating all around, man.
00:10:17
Speaker
I don't know. I kind of like Danny DeVito's Punisher. Yeah, of course you like it. It's not intimidating. You know who they almost had play the Punisher? Was the Olsen twins.
00:10:29
Speaker
Just a moment away from the Olsen twins playing Punisher. Just two little blonde babies running around. One sitting on the other one's shoulders with a trench coat just so they look big. Oh, man, I wonder what Heath Ledger did.
00:10:42
Speaker
Still just looked like eight-year-old at that point. they were They were literally infants at that, weren't they? 89? Oh, yeah. yeah Like a wonderful house start. They were little tiny wee ab babs. Yeah, a little wee babs.
00:10:54
Speaker
ah But yeah, he so we start this movie with Frank Castle, break it into this dude's mansion and just murking these fucking mafia guys. like line I remember as a child, a little kid watching this movie and knife boots was like the coolest fucking thing in the world.
00:11:10
Speaker
Well, in this knife boot, this first knife boot is more than a normal knife boot because he kicks down through the ceiling and this comes out through the bottom. It's not like a toe knife or knife sword. Knife sword. Or like ah the mute girl has in this later where she has the two that come out the side of her boot. two those This just goes straight out the bottom or like the side, I guess, probably. yeah i think it was like in his side, his boot. It's like a boot.
00:11:35
Speaker
It's a boot knife, but it can pull out or it can push in.
00:11:42
Speaker
um So can I.

Key Scenes and Characters in The Punisher

00:11:44
Speaker
Yeah, and he kicks another dude off the top floor, lynches another dude, and then just fucking... I thought he was shot this more ready guy at first, and then the entire house just fucking explodes.
00:11:56
Speaker
I mean, you can press. Yeah, you can say what you want about this fucking movie, but it goes for it. I love how the you can hear it. Like, are you getting this? Zoom in.
00:12:07
Speaker
Keep rolling. And someone's like I'm getting it. I'm getting it. It's fine. There's one guy that goes, holy shit, it's the Punisher. And then another guy's like, dude, there's shit all over my lens. right They're just throwing shits all over the place. Shit everywhere.
00:12:20
Speaker
and i love it because it blows up. Moretti comes out. Dolph Lundgren comes out of the mist. They get a peek of him. And then the whole thing just blows up again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's his MO. Two explosions.
00:12:32
Speaker
We find out later in the movie. Two explosions. Yeah. Yeah, so we kick off the movie with a literal bang. A big one. but And then we move right into Dolph Lundgren's naked ass. Yes. Oh, mama.
00:12:44
Speaker
Not to be outdone by Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yeah, right. He's sitting on those feet. And he's being all like philosophical about his choices of... To be not or not to be.
00:12:58
Speaker
That is the question. And we see the quick flashback of his family being murdered. Um, and with a car bomb basically. And I like it because if I remember right, the 2004 Punisher with Tom Jane, um,
00:13:16
Speaker
It's a whole like 20 minute opening sequence, right? It's like a whole yeah thing. It's all drawn. Oh, yeah. This is like, well, it's also his whole family. It is like grandpa, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews.
00:13:28
Speaker
No one was safe. It was everybody. Roy Schreiter was there. He had those cold 1911s and then he got shot with them. And you wonder when you're looking, Roy Schreiter is taking a sip of cool drink of champagne and boom, a fucking bullet goes through his head. You really think we cares what shoes you're wearing?
00:13:47
Speaker
Well, speaking of Roy Scheider, we then meet Jake Berkowitz, played by Lou Gossett Jr. The reason I said speaking of Roy Scheider is because Lou Gossett Jr. is in Jaws 3. He's also in Enemy Mine and Toy Soldiers. Enemy of mine. And one of me that we're probably going to have to do because it's a really good movie because of him, but it's him and Chuck Norris and Firewalkers or Firewalker.
00:14:13
Speaker
Okay, before you say Chuck Norris, I thought you were going say ah Iron Eagle 3, Aces. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
00:14:24
Speaker
No, Fire Walker's a good one. It's not because of Chuck. Well, I don't think any movie's ever been good because of Chuck Norris. True. That's a true statement we've been learning since we've been re-watching his movies and found out they're kind of boring.
00:14:36
Speaker
i mean, Walker told me I have AIDS, so. Well, that's fun. Yeah. I do like this one ah cop that's telling Lou Gossett Jr. because Lou Gossett's the only one who thinks that Frank Castle is the Punisher. correct Yeah, no, he's dead. Everybody. Yeah, everybody thinks he's dead. I like this cop because he's like, we can't let the public think some ex cop is whacking off bad guys. Like, hack off baby, excuse me.
00:15:00
Speaker
Let's take two on that one. The Punisher is out there just whacking bad guys, whacking them off, whacking off cops, whacking off bad guys. He's whacking off everybody in these streets. These streets aren't safe. No, what it means today?
00:15:12
Speaker
I mean, whacking does or offing a guy, but whacking off a guy. Yeah, exactly. Like he's just combining terms. He's double killing them all. So he's whacking them and offing them. Okay.
00:15:24
Speaker
I'm going to give you the hand job of your life or death. We can't let the Punisher walk around whacking offing guys. It's to punish her, not to punish him.
00:15:36
Speaker
And then we meet another welcome back Besides the director Nancy Everhard Okay that name is familiar She was in Deep Star 6 Was I on that? Yeah that was Drownuary Was I in that? You weren't in it its it was Yeah, when we did all the Dead dead Water movies. Yeah, right before our cruise. That's right.
00:16:06
Speaker
I want to say she's the booby girl, but I'm not 100% sure. I mean, they all kind of blend because we did what? That sphere?
00:16:17
Speaker
Sphere, the abyss. Deep Star 6 is the the monster that fucking... It was the cheapest one. It was the one where... He collected bodies and just kept absorbing. No, that's Leviathan. No, that was Leviathan. Oh.
00:16:32
Speaker
Which should be the cheapest one. Is the one that had BJ from BJ and the Bear.
00:16:39
Speaker
Go on. And his captain gets chopped in half by the closing door because he's like, I'll save you. And the guy's like, don't do it. And he slams the fucking door closed on himself.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yeah. I want to say it was like a crab looking monster. It was literally the abyss, but not the abyss. Yeah. I mean, it was it was an of the abyss if you combine the abyss and Leviathan and then took away all the money.
00:17:03
Speaker
Yes, go watch it, guys. That's actually the tagline of the poster. Just imagine the abyss. We took away all the money. No, that wouldn't make sense because Deep Star Six came out first.
00:17:16
Speaker
Imagine the movie that's going to come out called The Abyss. Imagine if James Cameron directed this. Now forget that. Yeah. Think of James Cameron and then think of somebody the polar opposite.
00:17:29
Speaker
James Cameron, George Cosmatos. Neither of them directed this. They're directing other water movies this year. This is Deep Star 6. Kabow! And you couldn't even get Cosmatos.
00:17:41
Speaker
He was busy with Leviathan. e So, but yes, it's Nancy Everhard playing Sam Leary. And it's 1989 all over the place here because Lou Gossett's like, Sam.
00:17:53
Speaker
And she's like, short for Samantha. I'm like, we have to explain that. She's got a little spunky hair. She does have spunky hair, doesn't she? She needs a backwards hat with a little... ah toughed it I laughed about it later in the movie when she's yelling at Dolph Lundgren and she's like, I'm his new partner because you weren't around and I was the next best thing or whatever.
00:18:11
Speaker
She sits next to him and I turned to Whitney and I went, we have the same haircut. So he shows me. He thinks of you when he looks at me. and Also, you've been his partner for like two days. Calm the fuck down. Right? He's like for 48 hours. Yeah.
00:18:26
Speaker
yeah But yeah, this is where she's like, I worked with you on my first assignment. I was the hooker. ah was the hooker. It's so fucking candid. You remember me, right? We met five years ago. had the operation. was the hooker. was the hooker.
00:18:39
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, yeah. i remember that. cula I don't recognize you with clothes on. Sorry. So fucking good. du I can't recognize you without your nipples out. so Pop your top up. Oh, Sam. Samantha. Why didn't you say something?
00:18:53
Speaker
But he does accept her as his partner because she believes that Frank Castle is the punisher. Yeah. So that's the only criteria. She's actually really bad at being a cop. And we've got this ah this other guy we meet whose name I'm just going to butcher right up front.
00:19:09
Speaker
So the character is Gianni Franco. ah The actor Jeroen Krabbe. I'm thinking that's a J. He's he's Amsterdam. Amsterdam. Jorn.
00:19:22
Speaker
Well, his name is J-E-R-O-E-N, and his last name is K-R-A-B-B-E with an accent mark. So Jorn. Jorn. Jorn Krabs.
00:19:35
Speaker
Jorn. Jorn. Pretty sure I'm saying that. Jorn. Exactly right, but I'm pretty sure it's Jorn Krabs. but Sorry, he's got the accent. You're in Crabbe. He was in ah The Fugitive and Deuce Bigelow, but not he's not like an actor. actor I think he's a character kind of guy.
00:19:54
Speaker
um I did laugh. I was still trying to tell Whitney his name to figure out where he was from. So I was like, because you can tell by listening to this actor that English is not his first language. exactly He's doing his best like deadpan, deadpan. Dr. Strange kind of delivery.
00:20:10
Speaker
I'm a mobster. Shouldn't have done that. He's just my baby. hey He's my boy. a and French fry potaters. Sorry. Linguini.
00:20:22
Speaker
Marinara. Love that. Shouldn't have done that. He's just a veal.
00:20:29
Speaker
Yeah, he's not a convincing mobster. Like the rest of these guys are stereotypical Italian mobsters. We'll get to this guy. But when they have the drug deal that goes bad, one of these guys, I was like, somebody told him he was playing a mobster.
00:20:44
Speaker
Is it the kidney guy? No, it's the guy. It was the guy in the car right before. Oh,

Crime Family Dynamics

00:20:49
Speaker
yeah. But but ah I was with you. I was trying to get we need to help me pronounce this guy's name. And I was like, I crabby, crabby.
00:20:57
Speaker
And i was like, I don't know. He's SpongeBob's boss. a Mr. Crabbe.
00:21:03
Speaker
ah But yeah, he's he's like the head of the crime family that the other guy was from. There's about to be no families. Yeah, because his plan is let's do away with the families.
00:21:15
Speaker
We'll all join together. Yeah. This will definitely work. What I'm going to do is get 600 kilos of pure junk. I don't think you say pure and junk I think he said pure heroin No he said junk oh He wants that really clean junk 600 kilos of cut off dicks Pure junk It's just pure crotch I don't know what I'm going to do with it But man I'm up to my elbows and dick
00:21:43
Speaker
but it's worth a half of half a billion dollars and so he's like if we all work together we can do this and then everything will be hunky dory yeah because it's been ah five years and 125 killings yeah i think we found out already where we're going to it's just like damn frank you've been busy yeah and uh i read does anybody want to guess what the body count is in this movie Not including people that were killed like in mass because I guess they were like, well we can't count if this was building was blown up. Right, right. Once we see you get killed, oh, it's got to be like 40. 137. It was 91, apparently.
00:22:22
Speaker
This is what the internet tells me. It's a lot. Let's watch it again and count, guys. Add that to 125. And he's at what? 214? That's Baker's tree quarter 100 there, Lou. that's ah baker's that's a baker's tree quarter of a hundred they're low Yeah, it is.
00:22:38
Speaker
Yeah. And then he... The Punisher goes... Well, first we meet... Shakes. I don't remember this guy being ah know as annoying in my first being yeah younger watching it.
00:22:53
Speaker
I don't remember him rhyming everything. Well, because he's an actor. He's a thespian. Is that why you don't like him? Because he's running around pulling your game? He's running around doing limericks shit all the time? That's not my game. I'm not that lame.
00:23:06
Speaker
if If I did that, it'd be a shame. Yeah, you would be almost the same. Aren't you glad I came?
00:23:15
Speaker
But he's played a guy named... I'm reserved for dames. He's played by a guy named Barry Otto. ah The only thing I recognized from him, he was in a bunch of shit. I mean, recognize some movies like he was in Gatsby and he was in Australia and he was in a bunch of stuff, but he's like a nobody character. Yeah. But a movie I just watched that I think I'm going to make you guys watch later this year called The Howling Three Marsupials.
00:23:40
Speaker
Oh, God. Okay. He's going to have to make me watch it. Well, because this is ah this movie was made in Australia. And so was Gatsby. And so was obviously Australia. And so was howling three marsupials.
00:23:54
Speaker
So he's got a British accent. He's living in Australia. He's probably got an Australian accent. Just does a good Brit. Now, maybe he's a good actor. Unlike our lead villain.
00:24:06
Speaker
Yeah. Hey guys, I don't want to sound needy here. I'm needy, but we have a Patreon at patreon.com. Yeah. And it only costs $3 a month. $3 a month is nothing.
00:24:19
Speaker
And I know times are hard right now. Real hard for me. Inflation's up. no You can't afford your groceries. Can't eat. But you can't afford $3 a month if you love us. Give us $3. Super love us. Please love us.
00:24:31
Speaker
we're not We're not begging. I'm begging. We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh, boy. I mean. My my knees hurt. They've been on it on so long. But we do kind of need the money. I need the money bad. We need new equipment.
00:24:45
Speaker
new equipment we need to do remote podcasts for all of you wouldn't mind eating we need to have video i wouldn't mind eating uh we need more drinks food sounds good so please check out patreon.com slash worst people please check us out you get a bonus episode every month and we're gonna have more content coming for you i'll send you pictures and thank you guys thank you so much please give me patreon.com i'm being held hostage here slash worst people don't pay my way out of here they're gonna kill me But like I love when he goes up to this guy and he's begging him for money at the bar. And he's like, ah you give me give me some money for a thespian. And the guy's like, the fuck do you have? I couldn't help but notice that you would have far better luck than I do. If I could get you to be fortuitous to me and let me show you, I have no clue.
00:25:32
Speaker
I would love if you would give me a dollar and then I can make you holler. If you give some change, I'll do something strange. That's what I'll do for a buck.
00:25:44
Speaker
Okay, I'm out of here.
00:25:48
Speaker
I wish you nothing but luck. ah but He gets kicked out of the bar and he gets led into the alley by Frank Castle via remote control delivery truck that has a bottle of whiskey. Oh, yeah. and you could trap me with this.
00:26:03
Speaker
The Geico commercials with the dollar on the fishing. Almost had it. Gotta be quicker. Gotta be quicker. ah But he's he's he's basically Frank's street man. Yeah, he's his ears. He's what Eben Moss was there in the first season or the show, the Punisher show. Yeah. Yeah. Well, a little different, though, because he's playing Mike Rowe, who in the comics, Mike Rowe designed a lot of his weapons and like ah kind of a guns dealer.
00:26:31
Speaker
He's played by Newman in the the fucking Ray Stevenson one. Is he? Yeah. Wayne Knight, I believe. I mean, he's not that character exactly, but he's the because he's not smart. I mean, he's smartish, but he doesn't have computers. He's not making weapons.
00:26:46
Speaker
He's just his and information guy. Right. Because he's on the streets. ah He's the equivalent. intel He's the equivalent of that character, though, because shakes or shake or whatever his name is, is not a character in the comics. Right.
00:26:59
Speaker
Right. I guess I just. Yeah, he's not as cool as micro. Yeah. Like that one guy from Dirty Jobs.
00:27:07
Speaker
His name was Mike Rowe. yeah i was like, what? I just, one day I was like, his name is Mike Rowe. Whoa. Like it was like a whole season and a half.
00:27:19
Speaker
Did he ever, did he ever go to a micro machines factory? ah They were out of business by then.
00:27:27
Speaker
um But yeah, then we have the he tells him basically like where the drug deal is going down.

Mobsters and Yakuza Conflict

00:27:33
Speaker
But he's also like, that's not the important thing. The important thing is ah all the families are joining together.
00:27:39
Speaker
who is going to be? using it um We go there. They have these. So they've all got code names. They watch Star Wars. So it's Red Leader, Gold Leader. Probably that Gold Leader.
00:27:50
Speaker
Red 1 and Red 2 are the two we hear. yeah That first one, Red 1. He's like, hey, what do you want from me? And they're like, is everything clear? He's like, oh, hey. That's the guy where I was like, somebody called him and told him, you're in a mafia movie. yeah I love him.
00:28:04
Speaker
Only to be taught by the next guy where like, hey, Red 2, what do you got? Oh, bad kidneys. And I got a piss. Then fucking piss. What are you talking about? but That first guy gets stabbed through a windshield and the next guy, he's like, oh it's dead over here. And then blammo. I'm like, you have no idea, buddy. Stabo. You're dead. yeah Stabo.
00:28:27
Speaker
um And then we have these people come up dressed as the Coast Guard, but they're actually scuba ninjas. Oh. That's a new term I like. This summer. Scuba ninjas. 2025. It's the sequel to Surf Ninjas.
00:28:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah. This time it's going down. Under. Scuba. It's going down under. Going down under like your fucking mom. But I love this. like show up They show up and I'm like, we don't know that they're ninjas yet. They just see people in scuba suits. yep And they're just throwing these spiked mace balls that aren't attached to anything. They kind of look like water mines.
00:29:07
Speaker
that's I thought it was going to be a little mine that exploded. yeah no It's just sharp sharpie, pointy, big sticky spikes. They're with the Tiku or whatever his name, Lakitu, whatever, and Mario is throwing at you, those little spike balls. Oh, yeah. yeah yeah I wouldn't have got the name like you you nerd.
00:29:26
Speaker
You're a nerd. It's true. Guess who's not? So they take out all these mob guys. Dolph Lundgren's watching. And he's like, well, OK, cool. They took out the mob guys. That helps.
00:29:36
Speaker
But now I got to go in and take out scuba ninjas. Yeah. And cool dude, he fucking uses this ah crossbow to do like this zip line. He zip lines to a dude. Yeah. Like he shoots the crossbow through this dude and uses this guy's body as a zip line. As an anchor. Incoming. I mean, dead weight, man.
00:29:57
Speaker
Fuck yeah. It's dead over here. oh Oh, look at that. I'm dead weight. I was dead wrong about them attacking. They've got me dead to rights. And then there's there's a chase and the van crashes.
00:30:10
Speaker
ah poor van. Yeah. I knew Jack was going to be sad about it. It's his war wagon.
00:30:18
Speaker
It's the pun van. Oh my God. Is that why i like to punish her? He's got pun in his names.
00:30:26
Speaker
I mean, he does have a couple one-liners in this one. so yeah we Yeah, we get a couple. Because he couldn't perform twos. He couldn't do two-liners. He's the king of one-liners because he memorized that one line. Exactly. I guess I watch enough bad movies where like people who are English as their first language can still barely speak English.
00:30:48
Speaker
I hear Dolph Lundgren. I'm like, don't know. He seems pretty good to me. Yeah. I don't hate Dolph Lundgren. Dark Angel is the year after this, and I thought he was doing good. And that one, I was like, yeah, he's American.
00:30:59
Speaker
He's better than Jean-Claude Van Damme or Arnold Schwarzenegger as far as trying to be American. yeah And in this one, I mean, it works because he's just doing that like dead inside kind of thing. So he's always just like, I'm going to have to get it later.
00:31:13
Speaker
And he doesn't have the front porch. He doesn't have the Punisher skull on his clothes. No, but they have him. Well, they're on the knives. They are. on But they also have him. So his face.
00:31:25
Speaker
he and And he's got like big rings around his eyes. I think maybe they were going for like, that's the skull. Yeah. Yeah. Because especially when he's riding his motorcycle through the tunnel. process phase He's got that dirty fucking five o'clock shadow. Derek talked about the rings around the eyes. and He's pale.
00:31:39
Speaker
I saw a skull face on him. Yeah. Yeah. Which is actually kind of cool. Yeah, I like it. I loved this movie. Snow Catwoman. didn't hate it. And then we're introduced to ah Lady Tanaka, played by Kim Miuri, who was in some choosing the two of the Grudge movies, like the actual Japanese ones, not the American ones.
00:32:03
Speaker
But she was also in Loverboy. ah She was in Loverboy, huh? Don't go far. With McDreamy? Yeah, with your guy there.
00:32:16
Speaker
Patrick Dempsey, Dreamy. He is McDreamy. Yeah, but that's not his name. Can't buy me love. There you go. God. No, I'm trying to. Where he did, in fact, buy love.
00:32:28
Speaker
you You actually can buy it.
00:32:31
Speaker
I'm not sure. i just saw in her credits she was in Loverboy, and I know you guys know it. I only know of it. I bet she ordered anchovies. I bet you she did.
00:32:43
Speaker
You've never seen it? No. Why would I watch a movie called Loverboy starring Patrick Dempsey? Why would Jack? That's a silly question. Jack's mental health movie was bedazzled is my answer to it.
00:32:56
Speaker
I even ashamed of that. Not even ashamed. No, I enjoyed it. I'm just saying that's my answer to that question. Yeah. No, he's right. like i ah That's a movie I would watch. I was busy watching stuff like this when I was a kid.
00:33:09
Speaker
I did both.
00:33:12
Speaker
He's the original pitch hitter. But we find out she's the first female head of the Yakuza. She goes to this meeting with the mafia people.
00:33:24
Speaker
And she basically she's like, Hey, I've been watching you guys. You're weak. I'm going to take you over. You work for us or I'll fucking kill you basically. And yeah, basically you get 25%. Yeah. Yeah. to you or we kill your family.
00:33:40
Speaker
Yeah. It's like, well, how you? How can you think you can make us do that? And she's like, oh, we're taking steps. And we go right. Don't worry. The Yakuza kidnapping and killing, killing their wives and and mother babysitters and whatnot, I guess.
00:33:57
Speaker
And then kidnapping all their children. Yeah. So that's fun. make None of these. None of these. None of these. None of these are fucking wives. All these fucking mafios have money. So this is all just housekeepers and Mary Poppins styles.
00:34:12
Speaker
Oh yeah. Full of sugar makes a but pop, pop, pop, pop. Oh, All the wives are out buying pink Cadillacs and shit. Oh, yeah. good They work for Mary Kay. I was thinking of Goodfellas. Goodfellas.
00:34:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah. You don't buy that pink Cadillac. You earn it if you work for Mary Kay. Fuck,
00:34:34
Speaker
Do you know why the Avon lady was walking funny? Why? Her lipstick. Her lipstick.
00:34:43
Speaker
We also have a quick moment of it being 1989 again, because Sam is like, I'm going to use this computer to triangulate his whatever. Computer? Computer? What you going to do with that?
00:34:55
Speaker
Using that to play Miss Pac-Man or something? i don't know why he's Mr. T, but. No, I liked it. That was a good Lou Gossett. Yeah, that computer is never going to do.
00:35:05
Speaker
yeah Man, I pity the fool to use a computer try and catch the Punisher. Pity the fool.
00:35:12
Speaker
But I do like cause she puts it in, and puts all the information in the system. And he's like, look, I've been all over this fucking city. I've been on top of it. I've been inside every building. I've been everywhere. But have you been under it?
00:35:24
Speaker
Under you stay. He never thought to look in the sewers. Right? No. He's like, they're shut down there. He's like, Frank's a very clean person. He's not going to walk in duty water. Because in Frank's bed, the Punisher has no problem with duty water.
00:35:41
Speaker
Correct. That is correct. You adapted to poo water. i was born into it. was born into it. Created by poo water.
00:35:54
Speaker
No, you got to do a garbage pale kid's voice. i was and and i was but I was born into the pool water. You adapted to it. Now give me that one. Charles Bronson.
00:36:05
Speaker
That's right. Snap. You're dead. Was that Greg? No, that was alligator. Greg was like the greaser. oh Yeah.
00:36:16
Speaker
Shakes fills in the Punisher about the kids getting kidnapped. And he's like, that's not my fucking problem, dude. I punish the guilty. and Like, that's what I do. I don't help the innocent. That's crazy. They're innocent. Oh, should have thought of a better word. it's hard to rhyme. Innocent. I need to pay my rent. There we go fuck Good catch, Shakes.
00:36:32
Speaker
Good catch. It's close. He just said something like really ridiculous. I've been a little too loquacious. Oh, well, give me a minute. That's a tough one. I need some spaces.
00:36:44
Speaker
i My new apartment is very spacious. I like the way your feet taste this.
00:36:51
Speaker
ah But we do find out like from the mafia talking about her and then this next scene that they're probably not going to get the kids back if they pay the ransom. They're probably going to be sold into slavery.
00:37:03
Speaker
Oh, exactly. Because like, boy, this human slavery sure is profitable like this. Like, he's just some good, some good white kids to get top notch, top dollar for good white kids. Well, we didn't mention that she has her, quote unquote, adopted American, quote unquote, American, quote unquote, mute.
00:37:21
Speaker
Wait, i don't know why I quoted that. Well, she is. I didn't get her name, but it's like yes, something like she is very right Russian. So I was like, I bet you she wasn't mute in the original script. And then they they hired her because she does some kicking and stuff later. So she's obviously knows martial arts.
00:37:37
Speaker
They hired her and they're like, she's mute. Let's just call it that. Yeah. Yeah. We can't teach two people English on this set.
00:37:46
Speaker
And we have these two the two heavies that work for Tanaka. We don't ever get their names, but in the credits there, Sato and Tomio. Okay. I was going to mention. No, they don't because they're they don't speak English. They speak on the Wakiwaki. Kenji Yamaki and Hirofumi Kanayama.
00:38:06
Speaker
Nice. They're actual like... um karate champions okay so they brought him in so they could fight dolph lundgren who also knows martial arts and when they do their fight scenes with him everything is full contact they they said to give it a sense of realism but also because um So it's Q cushion karate is what the kind of karate they do.
00:38:30
Speaker
And basically this the code of honor for that wouldn't let them fake it. So they're like, we'll do your movie. I really hit that dude. Oh, yeah. Lundgren's like, let's fucking do it. just Then Dolph hit them. You're like, I don't want to do this anymore. He's very large.
00:38:45
Speaker
i mean, he's huge compared to like, I mean, he's a big guy in general. He is enormous on this set. I thought we were watching like a fucking prequel to steal. And now he just like bends down nonchalantly under all the poles and everything. Uh-huh.
00:39:01
Speaker
And he's walking around in that sewer and he's just like this the whole time with his neck twisted. That's a seven foot clearing.
00:39:09
Speaker
He runs into Holly Berry down there doing Catwoman. Poo water, huh? Cool. Yeah. Does it for you? Is you turned into a cat lady? um Can you help get me out?
00:39:21
Speaker
Can you help get me out? Nope. Just shoots her. I'm the Punisher, not you. There is a reference to DC in this. Oh, yeah. You guys didn't hear it?
00:39:32
Speaker
du When Frank Castle gets tied up right before he's going to get tortured, she's like, who sent you? And he's like, Batman. ah Cheeky.
00:39:45
Speaker
But he breaks into this. on Oh, wait, this 89 same year as Batman. Oh, yeah. ah Didn't even think about that.
00:39:53
Speaker
But he breaks into this underground casino and just wrecks the place. And he tells them, he's like, look, every day the children are gone. It's going to cost you money. So take that message to your people and then proceeds to kill everybody. Yep.
00:40:06
Speaker
I mean, he doesn't kill everybody. he tries. He lets one person go. He just points his gun forward and does what I like to affectionately call the bullet sp sprinkler.
00:40:17
Speaker
And if you get in the way of the bullet sprinkler, it's your own fault. You could have jumped over or ducked. I would go with duck or maybe run run the same direction. The bullet sprinkler is moving. Yeah. can't Yeah. Go with the sprinkler. Yeah. I would go back to back with him and help him shoot this place up. Like, yeah, they took all my money to pop. pop pop po
00:40:38
Speaker
I bet you would. i would. dude And of course, he's got this sweet fucking 40 millimeter grenade launcher under his gun, too. oh Oh, I wanted to mention, I was like, Jack probably had a heyday with the guns in this, but It would have been a hard one for you to actually sit down and figure them all out because I was reading. They're not um not all real Wikipedia or something.
00:40:59
Speaker
Well, also he doesn't ever use the same gun twice. Oh, he doesn't. Huh? He uses it until it's empty or sometimes just until he's done with it, discards it and then starts using a new gun or gives it to a shaky drunk.
00:41:15
Speaker
But of course the police show up and they're like, oh Punisher kidnapped all those kids. And Lou Gossett Jr. is like, that doesn't make sense. And this chick that believes him is like, ah you have to have a reason. It's like, yeah, and I know him. Like, well, also he has the picture.
00:41:29
Speaker
He's like, there's two reasons. Yeah. And it's a picture of Frank Castle's daughters. Which is weird. I mean, I guess later on in the movie. and Or maybe, i don't know. but Later on in the movie, Lou Gossett does say that was basically, they were my family too.
00:41:43
Speaker
yeah they Oh yeah. since they And Everhard says something like that. like he had to face it. It was his grief too. Yeah. God, you're such a selfish bitch. Think of other people.
00:41:57
Speaker
Go find your upper lip, Sam. It's gone. There is no upper lip there. The Punisher goes to Coney Island looking for ninjas. That's a sentence in this house. fucking love these ninjas. Can I get a frank footer with mustard on my way?
00:42:12
Speaker
I love these ninjas bursting out of this thing. And you know, it's those big slides at the fair that have the humps in them that usually have like a- Oh, they're on their knees. Could have been happier. These ninjas going down on their knees, just firing wildly is one of the coolest things I've seen in 2035. You know what? Only thing that would have made it cooler is if they would have had people on the merry-go-round just shooting every time it was their rotation. Brrrap! Brrrap!
00:42:37
Speaker
It's not just shooting in all directions. They only shoot in this quadrant. They're just shooting forward, but there's just, you know, there's one after another. So it's... but but bo bo bo bo I would love that. um But he's he fights these guys and he ends up getting taken down by the mute girl in a in brutal fashion. Yeah. like Oh, yeah. He's because this change to the fucking silliest part of this whole movie is that Dolph Lundgren refuses to get off of his motorcycle anytime he's indoors.
00:43:06
Speaker
And this or or riding up to this fucking funhouse like he's like, Are you sure they're in there? All right, I'm going to go. I'm going to sneak in. Rides it up into the fun. Like, man, you ain't sneaking nowhere. The fucking neighbors across the street are calling for a noise ordinance. Yep. That's what's a pipe on that hog that in the beginning of the movie are the only times I think we see him on the motorcycle outdoors. Every other time is in the sewer or in a building.
00:43:31
Speaker
And this one, he's riding it through this fun house. And she ah yeah she hucks that chain right into the spokes. And he just goes flying. and And it's funny because right before that, something had happened to his face. And Whitney was like, you think that hurt his face?
00:43:42
Speaker
And he went flying through a plate glass window and landed on his face. And I was like, that did. If it didn't, that did. One of the jacuzzi had chains to choke him out. But when they went across, it was just like...
00:43:53
Speaker
Oh, yeah, it was and he turns he turns and punches. That guy was like, I think I don't think he was happy with him. He looks like now motherfucker. Oh, the ear. That was right down here.
00:44:04
Speaker
Why the ear? it
00:44:08
Speaker
But he does get captured. Really knocked that guy out. That's a cut for today. He does. He's out. And they chain him up to this stretching thing.
00:44:20
Speaker
I know it's got a name. Great for him. Rack. The rack. OK, yeah, that's what it was. And that's where we get the Batman line, which is funny. um But she's like, you know, there why did you say that name? Why did you say Batman? Martha.
00:44:32
Speaker
Who sent you? Who sent you? ah Martha. but It's just the accuser lady. Why did you say that name?
00:44:42
Speaker
No, I don't know a Martha. I'm just confused. Why the fuck did you say that name? Who the fuck is Martha? Why does everybody say Martha when I say who said them? Well, she's clearly not a member of our Patreon because Martha is the bomb ass party planner from the l L.A. Police Department.
00:44:56
Speaker
Damn right, dude. Martha puts on a fucking banger outdoor rest soiree. Yes, she does. Name tags and everything. you want to know what we're talking about, go listen to Cop Rock Episode 5 on our Patreon at patreon.com. How do you become a Patreon?
00:45:13
Speaker
Cocaine mutiny. That's not how you get on Patreon. It could be. You go to patreon.com slash worst people. There are two tiers now. three dollars tier and The tier the tier gets you access to Cop Rock and everything else.
00:45:31
Speaker
ah Yeah. You're going to get shots first early and on what do you call it? Uncut. Yeah. And you get our mental health episodes and all of that. And then, like I said, on the $5 tier, you get cop rock. Well, you get latchkey vids, which is currently cop rock in the future. It'll be other shows. Cause we're almost done with it. Very sad. so I'm very sad guys. yeah You also get ad free episodes.
00:45:54
Speaker
So go check that out. Seriously. Go super check it out. But she her thing is here. She's like, okay, you handle pain well, but let's see how you handle the pain of others. And she's got shakes chained up.
00:46:05
Speaker
yeah She is just stroking Dolph the entire time with that fucking fingernail. that I would try and have a little more coos to it. Yeah, this is a fucking giant Coke spoon.
00:46:17
Speaker
i thought she was she's going down his stomach and she gets to like right above his waist and i was like is she about to stab him in the gut or like stick that in his pants it's one of two ways she is gonna shove that finger in his pee hole yep no thank you right in the urethra no something like that i'm sure they do she's got little fingers he's got a pee hole the size of a number two pencil And it's called sounding.
00:46:44
Speaker
Sounding? Is that what it's called? If you look it up on the porns. Stretching. don't know. There's also felching. Felching is when you suck it out with a straw. I knew I said something about putting stuff in your dick. Get real, Snowball.
00:47:01
Speaker
either educational guys He breaks his way out by like getting this these bolts off his wrist with his fingers. yeah He's just like he's got that little he's got that dexterity. That's why the Asian chick was like, damn, look at this guy. Muscular. Let's fucking dexterity. His fingers.
00:47:19
Speaker
He can play me like a pinball machine. But even though this joke is racist because this isn't Japanese, he does get out right before the guys come over. He's like, I'm going to tell you what's going on. And they come over and he's like, I got with something to say.
00:47:33
Speaker
Sayonara. And fucking grabs that dude's gun and just shoots him in the fucking gut. How does both get unlocked, though? Is he doing both at the same time? um yeah I'd assume so. if he if he Yeah, we have to go with the yes.
00:47:48
Speaker
So he's ambidextrous. Well, he gets the one out, but then he's got his full strength to just yank the other. Uh-huh. Oh, is that how that works? He's not trying to do two at once. He can get leverage because now he's above it. If he's like, he's got the high ground. He's just getting the one.
00:48:02
Speaker
this now he's Now he's got the leverage. He's above it. So he's like, this is just like lifting weights. Heard. heard Anyway, so he he shoots the two guards, puts this quote unquote scientist into this machine, starts stretching him. And I like this is one of his great one liners.

Interrogations and Police Departures

00:48:21
Speaker
He's like, i don't want to stretch this out.
00:48:23
Speaker
So where are the kids? Where did these come from? Who's shoes? Yeah. This man is wearing red high heels. Yeah. The scientist guy in the white coat has red high heels. Oh, I didn't notice that. Why did you not notice that?
00:48:39
Speaker
How did you notice that? I'm not looking at guys feet. I'm not weird, but they're red high heels. Yeah, not on mine. Isn't that like the topless woman of foot people?
00:48:52
Speaker
No, no. Open toe jelly sandals. just No, that's weird, though. I wonder if they had him like they're like, you look really short on this scene. Is anybody you offset? Take your shoes off and let him wear them while he's next to Dolph. So he looks at normal height and they just forgot.
00:49:13
Speaker
Go back and see if he was wearing them when he was walking. i don't think you could see his feet before. I think that's the thing. He was behind the the table that had shakes on it. Yeah. So like when when they strapped him up, I don't know. It's just like, let's just throw this in there. People who wear high heels are weird.
00:49:29
Speaker
Men and women's shoes. That's why it's a drop plot. They're like, this guy's such a weird torturer. He wears red high heels while he stretches men. Right.
00:49:41
Speaker
ah But yeah, so he gets out of there. He does turn the machine on. He's like, okay, cool. Thanks. Boop. And just leaves. Bye. So I have to imagine that guy was ripped a twain. Oh, yeah. He has one of the worst deaths in the movie.
00:49:55
Speaker
It would dislocate your hips and shoulders first before it would rip anything off. Then it would keep going. Yeah, it would keep going, but you'd probably pass out from the pain before everything It's like being drawn and quartered, but you didn't have to bother with horses.
00:50:11
Speaker
Yeah Yeah Yeah Lou Gossett and Sam Are looking through the sewers For the Punisher I only mention it because Where we find out Lou Gossett's story Of like He's like was alcoholic He's like you know how you go out For a drink after work Well mine became a drink before work And then a drink during work And then a drink instead of work And then instead And hit a little close to home And he got busted down to Basically the guy that picks up shells Picking the books Yeah The casings If you will but Frank Castle showed up, wanted to work with the best cop on the force, saved his life.
00:50:47
Speaker
And that's why he's like, the man I know this is Frank and I want to save him. I don't want to kill him. He saved me. It's like, it's, it's heartwarming. I mean, Lou Gossett is great in this. This could easily be a stinker role with it being such a low budget film, but he kills it and rest in pictures, by the way.
00:51:08
Speaker
Oh yes. Yeah. um So all the mob guys except for Franco go to this meeting that was set up with the Yakuza. Because he knows. He's like, I'm not fucking doing that, dude. This bitch is fucking playing by her own rules.
00:51:22
Speaker
And then as soon as they get there, this one guy, they all get champagne. And this one guy's like, oh, none for me, please. I'm on medication. hey I already took some Viagra.
00:51:33
Speaker
I have a slight head cold. And a doctor said not to drink anything for 10 days. Oh. oh Oh, boom. Dice clay here. It's dead over here.
00:51:46
Speaker
But it's a good thing because this is a trap. all just All the backup gets killed. Oh, well, we got to talk about how because she's like, yeah, it was a smart thing for him not to come. Snaps her fingers and like these old people like all just in the restaurant stand up. Entire restaurant. watching this old lady with like a dirty hairy pistol that's just like ba ba but but bow bow what about the dude with the red glasses does he have this the fully automatic like i was loving this little fucking restaurant of nobody's like these do not look like hit people and yet they're hitting people Yeah. I didn't notice the right glasses, but you're saying Bruce Valanche is back there with a machine gun. Yes.
00:52:29
Speaker
He's sitting next to John Lovitz playing the critic. It stinks. Yeah. And then the the glasses, the champagne was poisoned or the glasses were poisoned. Yeah.
00:52:41
Speaker
Even though she's touching it all over the place right after. She's like, the glasses are poisoned and like rubbing her finger all over it. She's got, she's. No, she's fucking Carrie Elwissing. She's fucking immune to Iocane powder. She has a tolerance to it. Yeah, she's been microdosing that shit.
00:52:57
Speaker
Yes, she And the one dude who didn't drink the poison. Never go up against Sicilian when death is on the line. It's conceivable. gets pinned to the wall with ah the mute girl's earring knives, which are pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Love these earrings. They're very impractical, but for a comic book movie, it's a pretty cool little gimmick. You just pull out.
00:53:15
Speaker
It's like, oh, everything is done. I've got these earring knives. And this is such a comic book movie and I think Derek can speak more to this than you and I Whitney because he's read more but I mean it's like he's fighting ninjas in a goddamn fun house there's ninjas sliding down slides with fully automatic weapons like it is so comic book this chick's fucking earring thing that you're talking about it's great it is pretty because it's like it's a brutal like more grounded in ways because it's like real violence with guns and all this stuff.
00:53:44
Speaker
But then, yeah, you have scuba ninjas and yeah, it's a fun house battle.
00:53:53
Speaker
um But yeah, he i mean, the end of the game is skyscraper ninjas. You got a whole fucking skyscraper full ninjas. That's awesome. Well, he had to go up the tower to the last level. Mm hmm. Get that ball.
00:54:04
Speaker
That last guy refuses to drink and she's like, OK, then I guess you'll have to accept the chaser and just sticks this gun down his throat and blows his fucking head right off. And it's a good enough. Oh, yeah.
00:54:14
Speaker
He gets a shot in the mouth. it Shot through the mouth. And we got to the Punisher stealing a bus.

Dramatic Rescue and Chase

00:54:21
Speaker
And at first I was like, don't know why he's stealing a bus. Did his motorcycle break down? No, I was just like, oh, duh, because he's going to go save the kids. You don't ride motorcycle outside. the second he took the bus. You only ride motorcycles inside, but the bus is too big to ride inside.
00:54:37
Speaker
This is my outside ride. that's I love how he stops for the drunk guy. He's like, you missed my stop. And he's like, sorry, gives him a transfer. Right. he's he Because this guy didn't do anything wrong except want to have a good time.
00:54:53
Speaker
Do you think anybody today knows what a transfer is? Oh, yeah. Buses still charge in other cities. We're just we're just still doing free. oh Do they? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think New York City, I guarantee you, you're paying to get on that bus.
00:55:08
Speaker
Probably. I think you have to pay to walk down the street in New York City. Oh, yeah. But he breaks into this warehouse to save the kids. Gets them all pretty quickly, except for Tommy. and tommy Tommy was Franco's son. and He was taken away earlier.
00:55:24
Speaker
Oh, and I got to tell you why. Because I was thinking of Derek the whole time. These dudes beat the crap out of this kid. Like they throw him across. These are the full contact dudes, right?
00:55:35
Speaker
They're like, sorry, yeah I don't pull punches. Yeah. Like throwing him across the room because he he goes to hit ah the aup Miss Yakuza and they like fucking yeah smack him. And then he takes a chair and hits the guy and that guy fucking throws him. Like he is getting these kids are getting so hard throwing a kid across the room.
00:55:53
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Why wouldn't you? You have to assume it's a little person stuntman, but still good time. Yeah, it was pretty. Unless that kid was like, no. I can do it. Just stuntman's kid. He's like, dude, fucking throw my son. don't give fuck.
00:56:07
Speaker
That's why he was only in like four movies or something. I looked him up and he was in hardly anything else. He's like, I don't like getting thrown. I did see him I didn't recognize the character, but he's in an Australian show called Mr. Inbetween.
00:56:21
Speaker
That is fantastic. Okay. He also was in the ah Gatsby. Yeah. Yeah. He's like clerk. I think. I think everybody in Australia was in Gatsby though. There you go. so but this that So Tommy was taken away, but this little stupid little girl Kathy is just missing because I had get my dolly. Fuck your dolly.
00:56:42
Speaker
It's always some little stupid fucking kid who has to get their dolly. Get a new dolly. Your fucking parents are rich. But this one had no drugs in it. but There you go. That's what it is.
00:56:52
Speaker
Dad said, don't ever lose this dolly. No matter what Money's in the banana stand. There's always money in the dolly stand.
00:57:02
Speaker
So he he saves them, gets jumped by this goon. But then Tommy stupidly comes back in and Dolph has he gets out of there because he's getting a shot at. So now Tommy is the only one left behind. Leave him. They got he's a fucking punk.
00:57:15
Speaker
Dude, this bus chase is fucking hilarious. These dudes are like the first they do a roadblock. And i don't know if you guys noticed this is like an extra alert for everybody listening. there the jacuzza guys do a roadblock for the bus they all start firing at the bus there's like a hot dog stand in the background this dude in the background is just like the most overacting like startled thing I've ever seen in it awesome they're shooting up my hot dogs oh no i so I swear before the shooting someone says don't forget the mustard
00:57:48
Speaker
awesome and and one of these guys is hanging off the side of the bus and these little kids are like picking off his fingers and he just falls down and gets fucking run right over finally kids being helpful right yeah I was like they started to try to hit his hands I was like that's not gonna work little kids fight use your crooked teeth i look there's one missing so I got an extra sharp point right there yeah you know what I'm saying fangs dude
00:58:20
Speaker
And then he does ram this truck into this pest control van, which apparently was filled with whatever the most volatile pest control is. What pests are they getting? Like this is this is a fucking. cool This is terrorists. Yeah, they're after raccoons. Those raccoons are fucked. This is this is a like yeah I was thinking you might as as like painted gasoline on the side because that would make more sense because this goes up but then the cab goes up and the whole thing goes up even more.
00:58:49
Speaker
Yeah, because back in the 80s, once you hit a car, you both explode. and Only if they're both pentos and you're backing into each other. It's one of those great multi-layered explosions where it's like, boom, boom. Yeah. It just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. What else is in there? Everything blew up. What is still going on?
00:59:11
Speaker
um Of course, then the cops intercept the bus. All the kids get off. Frank gets off and gives himself up to the police. So we get Lou Gossett and Dolph Lundgren face to face.
00:59:24
Speaker
I love how they don't take his big giant fucking boots off. Like, I know you disarmed him, but if this guy kicks you with those boots, you're dead. You're dead. but we Okay. Of those 125 murders, how many had boot marks in their face?
00:59:39
Speaker
Three. Because there were at least three in this movie. Okay. Three that I can think of. so Out of the hundred ah we didn't see. So three out of 98, you got to figure there's like four more.
00:59:51
Speaker
i mean, so take those boots. I do like when Lou Gossett, though, he's like, what do you call 125 murders in five years, Frank? He's like a work in progress. Like, fuck yeah, dude. Hell yeah. yeah That's a great one liner. It is. And I know that this the whole concept of the Punisher embodies the like terrible fascist like thing, like the Cobra thing and all that stuff, you know, from the 80s movies where it's like this one man takes justice into their own hands and da da da.
01:00:19
Speaker
But he does it so cool. Yeah. ah also just don't be a mobster kind of seems like it'd be okay yeah um so they're taking Frank to they're transferring him somewhere and Sam is in there with him and she's like FBI fucking wants a crack at this dude They're going to throw a goddamn party.
01:00:39
Speaker
They got to take him to a war tribunal. Do you know fucking FBI is going to like, ah we'll take care of this. Good job, buddy. We've been trying to take down the mob for a long time. um We're actually just going to have you go through other states doing this.
01:00:53
Speaker
Julia Louis Dreyfuss shows up. tonight Julia Louis Dreyfuss shows up and she's like, have you heard of the Thunderbolts initiative? Yeah.
01:01:02
Speaker
ah yeah That's the stinger at the end of the credits. i don't know if you saw it, but no, I didn't see that. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was really young. like She would have been fairly young. Well, i mean, what? Seinfeld is in the early She would have still been Seinfeld. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, ninety versus what she is in Thunderbolts is what I'm saying. True.
01:01:19
Speaker
She's keeping it toito for Thunderbolts. Oh, yeah. ah But we find out that Lou Gossett resigned from the force because he was so torn up about this whole thing or whatever. You tear me apart, Punisher.
01:01:32
Speaker
oh hi, my. Oh, hi, kind of Frank. Oh, hi, Frank. Hi, Frank. I did not blow her up. I did not. Oh, hi, Frank. yeah the The transport gets hijacked.
01:01:44
Speaker
Frank gets taken out of there. um It's the mafia. Franco basically has him. He's like, hey, ah I've got Lou Gossett here. I'm going to kill him if you don't help me get my son back because you saved all those other kids. Why didn't you save my kid? You piece of shit.
01:01:58
Speaker
Because your kid is an idiot. Because I tried to save your kid and he was doing little magic tricks with quarters. And I was like, you're back back in the cage. I'm doing you a favor. You don't want this little shit running your empire.
01:02:11
Speaker
You don't want a magician in the family. Trust me. ah Have you met, Job? do you Do you have the ah bribe money? Why don't you look once you look behind your ears for the bribe money?
01:02:24
Speaker
Whoa. Whoa. That is a lot of money. How'd that get there?
01:02:30
Speaker
but He starts doing close-up magic. So he's just like, he's like, is this your card? Rips it open and cocaine falls out. he goes and just cuts somebody's gut open and is assigned ace of spades. Like, is this your card? Dude, that would be wicked awesome. Just does Columbia necktie, you know, cuts his throat, reaches up in, but then he just pulls out. He's like, and this handkerchief just keeps coming. Yeah.
01:02:55
Speaker
It's like Colombian handkerchief trick. Oh, man. The ball it takes to pull that off. Good for him. They go to attack the Yakuza Tower. And it's so it's Franco dressed as Fat Treat Williams and Punisher. he gives Punisher does give Shake a gun and a knife. He's like, just in case.
01:03:15
Speaker
And then also press this button in five minutes. Yeah, detonators. And then press this button in 15 minutes. Well, like the first one blows something up, but then it turns the lights out.
01:03:26
Speaker
He's like, what's the other one blow up? Everything else. yeah He tries to give him body armor, too. And he's like, no, there's no skull on that one.
01:03:38
Speaker
I wouldn't want to disappoint all my fans. If I'm going to put on body armor, it's going to be skull brand. fair enough Not skull. Skull.
01:03:48
Speaker
Like the chewing tobacco. Do you think all those like ice guys and stuff know that Dolph Lundgren is not American? No, they disavowed this movie. They're like, ah Tom Jane's my Punisher. was going to say because Dolph Lundgren is not American and ah ah but Ray Stevenson is not American. so Right. What's the guy I like?
01:04:07
Speaker
What's his name? Jon Bernthal. Bernthal. He's American. We all like Jon Bernthal. He's the best Punisher. This is the best Punisher movie. Well, he's in that. The new Punisher stuff is the modern version where it's like we're talking about the trauma of going to war and all this stuff. And like they're giving it more depth because it's a movie or it's a show. And it's got that.
01:04:27
Speaker
This is just like he's mad. Yeah. um It's coming up later. ah think, yeah, I don't think we've passed it yet. It's coming up later. ah Falco, Francon, what's his name?
01:04:39
Speaker
Motherfucking Falco. Franco. Gianni. Motherfucking Falco and shit. Motherfucking Falco. Gianni Franco. So Gianni Franco, what was his actual name?

Unique and Comedic Elements

01:04:47
Speaker
Urine crabs? Yeah. He's like, dude, why, like vengeance has a limit. What are you doing? like, I guess I haven't reached my limit yet.
01:04:55
Speaker
like he's it's It's like you're saying, like this is just it. I lost my family. Now I'm going to punish everybody. Yeah. I'm going to go You're guilty, you're dead. I'm going to till all of you are dead. i and jokes on you i'm already dead I do like that Lou Gossett gets out of being captured captured by the mafia pretending has to pee.
01:05:15
Speaker
This is the most Looney Tunes shit. You're going to handle my equipment? And he's like, hey, let me ask you question. Is there an IQ test for this job? Ping, ping, pow! Didn't think so.
01:05:26
Speaker
he takes a piece of pizza on the way out too he does these kids and pepperoni he shoots that dude who's coming in with pizza and he's like well i've been in captive for eight hours i haven't eaten since breakfast i haven't eaten for hours somebody should eat it yeah i'm gonna take the cleanest floor slice that i can
01:05:50
Speaker
um So they they sneak in there. ah We see we get a cut of Tanaka doing Kabuki theater just for funsies. Yeah, tradition, dude. Oh, we didn't talk about how i she's Japanese. is well Yeah. But we didn't talk about her Kaiser Soze kind of moment because she was a Yakuza high uppity up back in Japan. Oh, yeah. And people like kidnapped her brother to threaten her and she got him back.
01:06:15
Speaker
And then she like realized her brother's liability. So she cooked him a dinner and then mice have mend him. Yeah. Just fucking Lennied him. That's how she became the leader.
01:06:26
Speaker
Kaiser Soze. So it's ah it's a lot of action from here on out. I mean, the Punisher and Franco come in and they shoot up all these ninja dudes that are getting ready to go fight. ah I think they're getting ready to go fight a band in Miami. actually Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah so Fucking Punisher connection. Yeah.
01:06:44
Speaker
um Shake drops the fucking detonator in the sewer because you can't give a little tiny detonator to a dude named Shakes. no Yeah, it's in the name.
01:06:54
Speaker
And I like he's trying to get it out. He's like using the knife to like poke it and accidentally sets off the first bomb. No, I think he was trying to set off the first one. I like it better if he accidentally hit it. He's like, whoop, shit, sorry.
01:07:07
Speaker
Perfect timing because that's exactly when they needed it. Oh, thank God. But it's nice because it kind of goes ah ah Kill Bill here. Yeah, it does. And Kill Bill, when the the when she's fighting the crazy 88 and everything turns black and white, but this just turns all red.
01:07:20
Speaker
Yeah, it was red. We need that, like, that alarm noise, you know? And then, like, just fucking... Because it is a person just fighting a bunch of ninjas. Yeah.
01:07:32
Speaker
Tarantino saw this. He's like, fuck yeah, dude. That... Yeah, he goes through, kills all these dudes, like pretty much dispatches everybody with no problem until he gets to Sato and Tomio.
01:07:44
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's got them first. That's right. One of them, he hits him with a spear and sticks him up on the wall, which is pretty great. Spears him with a Naginta. It's a sword on a stick.
01:07:56
Speaker
Yeah. Is what this is. Naginta.
01:08:00
Speaker
ah ah Do you know what this other one is? It's just like an array of swords. That's like, nope. It's like a sword fan that's on the ground. Cause he ends up taking this other dude out and he likes kicks him back onto this sword fan. And it's just, it's great, dude. He's poked out from a bunch of different holes.
01:08:17
Speaker
yeah And then the 15 minutes is up. So shakes has to set off the other bomb and he still can't get the remote. So he shoots it. Yeah. why Apparently that works. Poking the dagger. gar rules yeah Yeah, exactly. The detonator works by star Wars rules. Okay. so say did he drop the dagger Well, he wanted to make sure.
01:08:34
Speaker
yeah
01:08:36
Speaker
He's like, look, got 50-50 chance. I either shoot this and it disarms it or I shoot it and it blows up. It depends. It's a good guy thing or a bad guy thing. Sometimes it opens the door. Sometimes it closes it. It's the opposite of what it is.
01:08:49
Speaker
Yeah. ah Franco finds Tommy. Punisher has to fight the mute daughter who's just credited as Tanaka's daughter. So I'm not being rude and forgetting her name. I mean, I have the actress's name. We don't have a yeah we don't have a character name.
01:09:02
Speaker
yeah She holds her own better than anybody against him. I want these earrings. more we'' We'll look into some weapon earrings. Zoshka

Film's Climactic Moments

01:09:10
Speaker
Mizak. You said it.
01:09:14
Speaker
It's my daughter. so She was in one other movie, Bobby Z with Paul Walker and ah Lawrence Fishburne. It looks like. Whoa. Add that to our list. Check that out.
01:09:30
Speaker
A DEA agent provides former Marine Tim Kearney with a way out of his prison sentence. Impersonate Bobby Z, a recently deceased drug dealer in a hostage switch with a crime lord. When the negotiations go awry, Kearney flees with Z's son in tow. Intriguing. I'm going say that Lawrence Fishburne is a bad guy because on the cover of it, he's wearing what appears to be a red felt cowboy hat.
01:09:53
Speaker
I've seen Lawrence Fishburne in It's a Pee Wee's Playhouse spinoff. The death and life of Bobby Z is what it's called. god Yeah. So that's a I just discovered that.
01:10:05
Speaker
So anyway, add to watch list. Yep. But yeah, they have this fight. She's getting the upper hand on him because she's got all these little blades tossing like ah knives through his legs.
01:10:15
Speaker
So he's out of her feet. It's battle of boot knives. Yeah. Oh, he cracks her fucking neck. Yeah. He's like, got to make sure. Snap. The way she slumps down, though.
01:10:27
Speaker
It was good. I liked it. That was beautiful. he Because he takes her out at one point and starts to leave, and she gets back up. So this time he's like, nope, double tap. Not this time. We didn't talk about the dummy work when the little kids got the guy's hand off the fucking window and he went under the trucks.
01:10:44
Speaker
Dummy work. Oh, yeah right yeah. I did talk about it getting run over. but Right. But it was assume it's 1989. Everybody knows. it So Franco finds Tommy. Oh, I talked about that. Punisher mute daughter. Next nap.
01:10:58
Speaker
ah Hold on. Let me recap real quick. Punisher mute daughter. Next nap. Got it. But we got knife boot fight. Uh-huh. Scuba ninjas moving on. Skyscraper ninjas gone. Rhymey guy shooting guns. Punisher dropping puns.
01:11:13
Speaker
ah so tanaka and franco have a standoff tanaka banaka because she's got a knock knock knock she's got this knife to tommy's neck and i just i love it because it's like it's pretty fucked up she's like look either like if because he says if you kill him i'll kill you and she's like yeah which one of us loses in that deal right yeah so she's like i'll i'll let him live If you do exactly what I say, but why should I? you're fucking Why should I believe you? She's like, well, because you can't.
01:11:44
Speaker
But if you don't do this, he's guaranteed dead. And some chance is better no chance. Yeah. And i cannot trust you with the cup you've put in front of me. so and She's like, get on your knees, put the gun in your mouth, pull the trigger.
01:11:58
Speaker
And he's about to do it. Which would have made this a lot cleaner, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Because this kid's traumatized either way. Yeah. um But the Punisher bursts through the the like they have like the paper walls. the Oh, yeah. with the Whatever. Paper walls. you You said it just fine.
01:12:17
Speaker
Bursts through and tosses a knife right into her fucking forehead. So she's gone. Very reminiscent of ah David Lopan in Big Trouble in Little China. Yes.
01:12:29
Speaker
Like a super fast death. Mm-hmm. But yeah, gets stuck in the head and Franco sends Tommy out. He's like, I'll be right behind you. I just got to go talk to our old pal, ah the Punisher.
01:12:41
Speaker
i like to is the kids like, dad, let me help. Help with what? You're going to help him kill pun? Well, because he's like, I can help him. Like what? You're not. Oh, help him. I didn't catch that part. I heard like I can help. You're going to help kill.
01:12:55
Speaker
yeah like he wanted to help the Punisher. And I'm like, well, how are you possibly going to help? He could help pick him up. No, he could not win me. This kid weighs as much as one of Dolph Lundgren's biceps.
01:13:05
Speaker
He could be like, I'll be your walking stick. Dolph Lundgren could put his foot in his kid's mouth and use him as a boot. The whole fucking thing. A knee-high kid.
01:13:19
Speaker
He's like, thanks to you, Castle. I'm the only game left in town. So if I get rid of you, I have no competition. In five years, to have the most powerful fucking cartel. No one's going to be there to stand up. My son's going to inherit it. And the only thing he's to to worry about, I'm going to kill right now. so Also, people making fun of him for being a magician, but he can deal with that his own. Thanks for saving my kid. I owe you one.
01:13:43
Speaker
See in hell. I am forever in debt to you. I see i owe you one. See you in hell. And they have a little tussle rolling around on the ground. Mostly Tommy comes in. Dad, stop it. I was waiting for Tommy to get shot. So was I. Well, you wanted it. fighting with this gun. Well, yeah, but also like they're fighting with this gun and it's like it's going off. And I mean, it almost shoots him at one point. Yeah. So I was waiting for that to be the big thing. It's like the gun goes off. Yeah. It gets killed.
01:14:07
Speaker
Franco's the one holding it. You know, ye but no. Punisher. Had you not seen this? I've seen it, but not since I was like a young teenager. Okay. don't think I have. No. Okay. just remembered thinking it was awesome. That's all I remember about it.
01:14:20
Speaker
Fair. I grew up with this somehow. Yeah. I saw it like probably four or five times, but I was a kid. It was on one of your recorded HBO tapes. I don't know if it was HBO. think this was on like TNT or
01:14:34
Speaker
Where it belongs. But I think we had a VHS. KTT Channel 18 at 7 a.m. Saturday mornings. Could be. But Franco gets killed. Tommy's all sad about it. And he grabs the gun and he puts it to he points at the Punisher. And Punisher's like, yo.
01:14:49
Speaker
Do it. Do it. Do it, you fucking pussy, you little shit kid. Puts the gun to his forehead. I'm going to make this Punisher disappear. Yeah. Because he's like, if you do it, if you get this over with now, maybe you won't grow up to be like your piece of shit, dad.
01:15:03
Speaker
Yeah, and it'll save your life because if you grow up to be your piece of shit, dad, I'm guns to kill you. Yeah, I do like like the kid drops the gun. Of course, starts crying.
01:15:14
Speaker
He leans against Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren doesn't isn't touching him. The cops are starting to come into the like, they're finding all the bodies. yeah I was waiting for the cops to come in and he just has his hands up. He's like, no, no, no touching, no touching, touching. no touching
01:15:30
Speaker
But yeah, he does tell him right before he leaves, grow up to be a good man, because if not, I'll be waiting.

Credits and Reflections on Action

01:15:35
Speaker
Yeah, you're a good boy. Grow up to be a good man. And Lou Gossett goes up to the rooftop trying to find him and and Frank.
01:15:43
Speaker
And it's basically the end of the movie. They tacked on this last thing, which is just the same shot from earlier where you see Dolph Lundgren's butt. Yep. Well, you got the film. And he's doing the very similar, almost the same speech as earlier, except for it starts with, I'm still thinking about this. Yeah, I'm still talking to God. Still talking to God. What am I doing? Is it right or wrong? He's not answering. So I'll just keep doing it just in case.
01:16:02
Speaker
Until he does. Waiting for God's answer. if you're guilty, you're dead. And the credits roll and that's the end of the movie. But I want to just mention. So this is one of the rare times where all the credits are like every character that was in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. People credited as like peeing man and like drunk at bar. Hot dog mustard man.
01:16:23
Speaker
Yep. And. Even with all of those people listed, the stunt section was about four times bigger. but Damn. I mean, it's all just stunts, man. This movie is. That's why our episode short, though, because we couldn't just go bit by bit of which stunts made us the happiest.
01:16:39
Speaker
No, I love jokes about the other stuff. Yeah. I love the quick ins and outs, man. Oh yeah, this is, I mean, what, like an hour 20, I think, all together, hour 27, maybe? Yeah, our twenty s hour 29, but that's with credits, so.
01:16:54
Speaker
so there Yeah, yeah, in and out. Much like what we just did with ah Friday the 13th, though, it's like such little setup. It's like, right, cool, you got it? His family's dead and he's not. Here we go. Yep.
01:17:05
Speaker
i don't That's what we we don't need a giant. We don't need a first act to last an hour. no I mean, I wasn't a real person in 1989 because I was only three. So I don't know what the world's awareness of the Punisher was, but I feel like it's it's the Punisher like.
01:17:21
Speaker
His family's dead. he gets vengeance. I mean, it's not like Spider-Man where everyone knows that story. It's not like Batman where you know the origins, but I think they did it just enough. Because I probably watched this when it went to ah TV in like 90. So i was like eight years old.
01:17:38
Speaker
And this is my introduction to Punisher at that point. Cause when I started reading comics, like real heavy was before that first Punisher or the Tom Jane Punisher movie. Yeah.
01:17:49
Speaker
I had seen this. So maybe that's why, but like Punisher pops up in some of the stuff I was reading, like crossover type of thing. And I was just like, Oh, it's Punisher. Cool. family No, I think it's, I think they just, they gave the audience a bit of intelligence or trusted they have intelligence. Like,
01:18:04
Speaker
you You get it, right? His kids are dead. His wife is dead. You get it? i guess that's the big thing is we don't do that anymore. i mean, they do. Don't trust people. They're like, yeah let's let's spoon feed you every fucking thing because there's no way you could possibly understand. But what's his motivation? His family's dead. But why?
01:18:24
Speaker
So we'll go for recommendations. So wife I'm pretty sure that this was my first time seeing this and i've really dug it. i really, really liked Dolph Lundgren as a Punisher.
01:18:35
Speaker
I mean, Bernthal, totally my favorite, but at work and it and was a quick in and out. You know, I love them. Fash lockies. Yeah.
01:18:46
Speaker
I had all about definitely full recommend. I'm not drinking. Didn't have friends with me. Just the husband. Just this guy. Just this guy I'm married to. Just my other half. um and i And I was cracking up.
01:19:00
Speaker
Like there's some awesome kills going on And you know, we love dummy work. So oh yeah full recommend. oh I'll go next since Jack's like the Punisher 1989 expert. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
01:19:11
Speaker
Yeah, obviously I recommend it. I pretty much recommend just about anything that Dolph Lundgren has done that I've seen. um and might not be good, but it's fun. um i haven't seen the Expendables. i I think I saw the first one.
01:19:24
Speaker
ah don't think you'll be recommending that one, sir.
01:19:29
Speaker
I know I don't want to recommend the third one. That one's PG-13. You failed you've failed to realize what you are.
01:19:37
Speaker
But like I like Dolph Lundgren. I like New World Pictures. i like mindless violence. I like Lou Gossett Jr. Like kids getting thrown across a fucking room. I like kids getting thrown. I like kids making a dummy fall under a moving car. Yeah.
01:19:51
Speaker
That's the rare instance of kid power I can get behind. Fuck yeah. They should have said, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, have big recommend on my end. Yeah, um I don't think it's a surprise that I'm going to recommend it. It's the best Punisher movie that exists.
01:20:06
Speaker
um When we had Sir John from Lethean, he was talking about how he loves this fucking movie. Was it? Okay. Yeah, he was. real ones know about this. And it's for all the reasons we mentioned, dude. Like there's this big explosions for no fucking reason. that doesn't That's not a complaint.
01:20:22
Speaker
I mean, it gets to the story. It's in and out. I love it. i As soon as this is available to have and physical on physical media that i don't have to pay out somebody's fucking arm and a leg price, I'll own it if it ever happens.
01:20:34
Speaker
comes back in a friend. I feel like somebody one of these days will do it. yeah It'll be like an overseas label or something, but yeah if they put it on 4K, that won't matter because 4K is region free. No, overseas. umbrella factorctories america Umbrella. Umbrella or imprint maybe.
01:20:48
Speaker
Second Sight could do a cool one. Anyway, I'm saying words you guys don't know. so But yeah. I think the thing and I like... i think like the thing is and i like the MCU, like a lot of people don't. I mean, and it's obviously lost its way a little bit.
01:21:04
Speaker
I'm not going to be thrown around MCU and all that stupid shit. Right, right, right. Put whoever you want in the fucking movies. Some of the the more recent ones just haven't been very good, but I like that. I like the interconnectedness because that's how comics work. That's how they've worked for a long time.
01:21:18
Speaker
But I also like just having a standalone story where I don't have to worry about like, well, this is the Punisher, but it's actually setting up Daredevil, which is actually setting up Spider-Man, which is actually setting up, you know,
01:21:29
Speaker
Just give me the movie. and here's an hour and a half some booms Here's an hour and a half of schlock. yeah yeah

Next Film Announcement and Closing Remarks

01:21:35
Speaker
Yeah. So I enjoy it. yeah We all did. Next week, we have our last episode of the superhero Spectacular.
01:21:45
Speaker
And it will be Batman and Robin to continue last year's superhero Spectacular. law Where we talked about Batman forever. This is a step down. Fun fact, guys. I learned that The third. So Batman forever was originally supposed to be called Batman and Robin.
01:22:03
Speaker
And this one was supposed to be called Batman forever, which would have made so much more sense. So much more sense. I don't like it. ah I think we talk on that episode about why the fuck did you make number three forever? But yeah, the Val Kilmer is going to play this fucking character forever. Trust me.
01:22:22
Speaker
He'll feel like he was on set forever. Yeah. And of course, we have our Patreon at patreon.com slash worst people. ah We have two tiers, $3 and $5. For $3 a month, you get our monthly newsletter. You get early access to Han Took Shots first. You get the mental health episodes.
01:22:40
Speaker
And at the $5 level, you get latchkey vids and you get ad-free episodes. whoop So our mental health episode for this month is nineteen seventy eight Superman.
01:22:53
Speaker
Which pretty much kicked off like, I mean, I would go so far as to say that even might have kicked off modern superhero. Like people didn't really watch superhero movies. Before that superhero movie was Batman 1966. Right. And it's the good one with Gene Hackman.
01:23:09
Speaker
And then on Latchkey Vids this month, we are talking again about Cop Rock Episode 6, Oil of Olay. It's a good episode. It was a really good episode. Both their episode and our episode. So go check that out. $3 a month, you get the mental health episode. $5 a month, you get latchkey vids.
01:23:26
Speaker
And of course, I want to thank Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. Much love. And that's the end of the podcast. Boy, it sure went by real fast. Deuces!
01:23:38
Speaker
Shut Come on!
01:24:09
Speaker
What, you've never sexualized an Ewok? I have not. All right. Nub nub.