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Ep 146: Bedazzled (Mental Health Month)
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It's not a secret that Jack loves Brendan Fraser, so his Mental Health pick for this month is 2000's comedic BEDAZZLED directed by Harold Ramis of Ghostbusters fame. Brendan Fraser is desperate to gain the attention of his beautiful co-worker, so he strikes a deal with the Devil, played by Elizabeth Hurley, in which he will exchange his soul for seven wishes. As you can imagine, the wishes don't go well. This feel-good comedy is kind of the definition of a Mental Health movie, so tune in to hear us chat all about it.
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Transcript
Introduction to Mental Health Month and Jack's Pick
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back listeners. It's mental health month this week. It's Jack's pick and I'm telling you the devil jipped me for a hamburger. I'm Satan. I'm Beelzebub. I'm Beelzebub light and this is bad movies. Where's people?
00:00:15
Speaker
Oh, I feel the boom.
00:00:47
Speaker
One of our better intros, by the way.
Setting the Scene in Hell and Personal Quirks
00:00:50
Speaker
Hello. You guys, we're in hell. It's getting a little warm in here, you two. You see the background, though? I'm doing OK, though. I have my own personal bubble of hecking.
00:01:01
Speaker
Am I in purgatory limbo? You are. What am i You are. Because look, here's a deal. We all die. Your your husband, kind of evil dude. don't how to break it to you. Yeah, he likes to he laughs when children fall.
00:01:12
Speaker
He loves when old people fall. It's a thing he does. I'm a whole instagram ah an Instagram account called kids getting hurt and I love it. So just follow one called girls who slam.
00:01:23
Speaker
Same idea. ah I am inherently good. Like on all these years of podcasts, I don't think you've ever heard me say anything that wasn't just like, well, you're this really terrible. I'm very so so sensitive. Those damn dolphins.
00:01:37
Speaker
And then Whitney is morally gray kind of grounded in in reality here. So yeah. Well, I'm burning in hell. That's fine. That's just called summer in Tucson, my friend. You see, I would. My first wish would be for somebody else.
00:01:55
Speaker
How those new microphone arms working out for you. I got dibs on top bunk. It doesn't really do the microphone. I moved my foot and kicked the camera. I can't kick the camera.
00:02:06
Speaker
It's not that attitude. It's too far away.
Exploring 'Bedazzled' and Harold Ramis' Filmography
00:02:11
Speaker
But we are talking about Jack's mental health movie for the month. Which is 2000s Bedazzled, directed by one Harold Ramis.
00:02:19
Speaker
Which I was today years old when I found out. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, told you I didn't give a shit about directors before this podcast. I just don't think it was a name I paid attention to. i mean, I knew Harold Ramis. Ditto. Wrong.
00:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, well, that's what I mean. I'm just surprised you didn't see Harold Ramis pop up and go, oh, hey, it's fucking Egon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I should have. It's that guy that wrote Caddyshack. I just connected who Harold Ramis was.
00:02:43
Speaker
Oh, really? i mean, he's directed movies you guys like. he I mean, people know Harold Ramis. I mean, he's gone, like I said. like Yeah, Rest in Pictures. few years ago, right? Yeah, couple years ago.
00:02:56
Speaker
um But he's directed other movies. He directed Groundhog Day, Caddyshack, Vacation. He likes Bill Murray. Multiplicity. analyze this and that uh-huh don't hold that against him though no no i mean not by himself but he wrote ghostbusters one and two he's a writer on animal house stripes back to school meatballs he's an actor in stripes too yes he is and then we got two other writers on this uh one of whom peter tolan i guess was a ah writing partner of harold ramus's okay so
00:03:35
Speaker
So I guess what happened was so the guy Larry Gilbart wrote the original
Original 'Bedazzled' and Script Contributions
00:03:39
Speaker
script. He wrote Tootsie. He also wrote Blame it on Rio. So all over world. will hold that against him.
00:03:48
Speaker
He's also a big writer on Three's Company and MASH and SCTV, but he wrote the original script. Well, not the original original. Because this is remake. Yeah, 67, I think I saw. That's the one we watched, right?
00:04:00
Speaker
Woo! Woo! That looks great. Is that Dudley Moore? that Dudley Moore? Yep. Dudley Moore and Peter Cook. Peter Cook plays the devil. So I'm not sure how the girl works in unless that's like someone he's controlling or that's Allison. Yeah, that's the honey. But she's totally doing the harley Elizabeth Hurley thing on this poster. So, well, this is one of her wishes.
00:04:23
Speaker
See, men often think that women are the devil. Like, that's just a big trope. But back then, we're like, yeah, but we can't give a woman power. It's 67.
00:04:33
Speaker
My wife might be the devil, but she ain't charging me. I guess Larry Gilbart wrote a script for this and then ah Harold Ramis was supposed to direct galaxy quest and he backed out of that to do this and had his friend, Peter Tolan help write this.
00:04:51
Speaker
So it's a good choice. Cause it got me this movie and galaxy quest, which easily could have been up there for a mental health or for me. Oh yeah. I love galaxy quest and, and he still produced it, but he just didn't direct it.
00:05:02
Speaker
And I, I don't know. I mean, Harold Ramis has some funny movies. I listed like good ones. Mostly he's got some real stinkers too. So I'm kind of just glad whoever directed galaxy quest who I don't know off top my head did that because that movie rocks.
00:05:16
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree. it It's the best Tim Allen. It's one of those. That one guy Horatio. I don't know. He played the dad on ah Veronica Mars where he's like, Hey,
00:05:30
Speaker
ah He the I guess the head alien. He was also in just u me as the photographer. Elliot. Yes. I cannot think of his name. I think you're well. Oh, that guy. Okay. That's like, oh, he's happy.
00:05:43
Speaker
I wanted to see what you were doing here. So we do the box office game. Yeah. Give me. I'm going to go with a little intro for that. Like, burn up, burn up, burn up, change or something.
00:05:58
Speaker
theing ching ching dollar signs oh no wait although it is this podcast so it should be to cheer waltt oh just do the fucking hyperdrive that can't start in any fucking star wars millennium falcon scene
00:06:16
Speaker
just so people know budget just so people know when i do look these things up on imdb like if i'm trying to find an actor or something i purposely avoid budget and box office i do not scroll that far down Because who wants to cheat at a game that has no prizes or real effect on life?
00:06:32
Speaker
I can think of one person who sits at the bar and plays trivia and only asks other people for answers. Yeah. The guy that wants to be on the show that admits he doesn't even listen to podcasts. For real. Anyway, go on.
Box Office Game and Brendan Fraser Appreciation
00:06:44
Speaker
But so do you want know the budget? Yes, please. Which I'm going to say. 48. Ooh. 48 million.
00:06:52
Speaker
Damn. I was going to 47. Yeah. You would have lost. So i have I have domestic and worldwide because it's it's a pretty big disparity and it kind of makes a difference. Do you want to do both, Jack? You guys guess whichever you want and I'll give you both when we're done.
00:07:07
Speaker
It made 30 million domestic okay with a grand total of 138 million worldwide.
00:07:18
Speaker
Okay, I'm going to say... And it was $40 million to make? $48. $48? I'm say... You don't remember my perfect guess? I don't. um You know what?
00:07:30
Speaker
I'm going to say it made $43 million domestic million domestic, not good. made $90.3 million worldwide.
00:07:39
Speaker
well it made thirty seven point eight million domestic so not good but it made ninety point three million worldwide I was close on the worldwide. I was close on the worldwide.
00:07:51
Speaker
It was lower than both of you guys said worldwide, but it still made money. Yeah. Not a huge success, but for 2000, pretty good. This is before the days of Marvel. so Yeah, but I was thinking it was like Hurley worldwide. Everybody loves that bombshell. And then who doesn't love the neighbor Brendan Fraser? Well, I can tell you right now that I...
00:08:13
Speaker
I did not watch this movie because I saw trailers for it and was like, well, that looks stupid as fuck. And so clearly there were millions of other people like me who were like, OK, well, you're all wrong.
00:08:26
Speaker
I was this was not my first time. I knew it wasn't yours. How about you up there on my right? ah Yes. Your first time right now. First time. Well, I can't wait to get into this.
00:08:38
Speaker
I worked at a movie theater when this came out, so I watched it a lot. No surprise that I love Brendan Fraser. Like, I think everyone listening knows that about me. Yeah. Was it last year's mental health? No, we did George of the jungle for your birthday for my birthday. So little bit about me, kids.
Plot Introduction and Character Dynamics
00:08:55
Speaker
um We did do airheads on ma mental health, though. Did you notice the welcome back on this? which Brandon Frazier, Brandon Frazier's gecko tattoo.
00:09:06
Speaker
Oh, he's playing basketball. is the It's almost the exact same gecko tattoo. it's just in a different spot. and Well, I know he had this snake on his chest. Mm hmm. I don't know if that's a welcome back.
00:09:18
Speaker
Where's the the gecko was on his peck, wasn't it? Yeah. He lifts up. He's like the gecko in the back. It's like death. He's got a bunch of tattoos when he's a basketball player. Yeah.
00:09:30
Speaker
um And a tiny, teeny weenie. Oh, damn the devil. Damn the devil to hell.
00:09:37
Speaker
Yeah. So i he says heck. i don't I do like when this starts, though, it's like this montage of people walking and it's just like to give you an idea of what's going on. Right. It's like pointing out all these people like Saint Center or whatever.
00:09:49
Speaker
There was a couple I wrote down because they made me laugh. Yeah. The baby in the little baby Bjorn, it says freeloader. Yeah. i Those are entertaining. The priest cheats on his taxes.
00:10:00
Speaker
The old guy at the diner only tips 5%. Which is a sin. Just so you guys know, this movie's canon. Undertipping is a sin. yeah And then we got Brendan Fraser.
00:10:13
Speaker
who is desperate, oblivious, eager to please, lonely, and a doormat. This is pretty much what the government does now. Like, this is just all of our Facebook and Instagram materials. ah the The government has this rap sheet on us.
00:10:26
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Probably. They probably do call the baby a free Masturbates too much. Yeah, they're like, that baby's not paying taxes. i mean I'm not masturbating right now.
00:10:36
Speaker
But yeah, we have had Brandon Frazier on before, as we said, Airheads and George of the Jungle. We'll have him back because we've got Encino Man, the mummy movies. So he'll be here. Um, one of the guys he's been on an episode before, right? Not Bloom, not Orlando, not but one of the friends.
00:10:56
Speaker
But yeah, one of the friends. but Definitely not Orlando Bloomin' Onion. um So one of the friends. No, we've seen them a lot. One of the friends I recognize that Whitney might, because he is in a couple episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
00:11:10
Speaker
Yeah. he's not irish season He's the Irish gangster Seamus. Seamus Murphy, yeah. Seamus Murphy. He's also in. Don't say 90210. No, not but he's in ah horse Horror the American Horror Story oh I don't know that the one when that sticks out of my head he's in the hotel and he's like a drag queen in the hotel okay but he's dead we're talking about Bob who's played by Paul Adelstein Brooklyn Nine-Nine like you said I'm surprised you didn't call it Jack he's in Scrubs
00:11:47
Speaker
Oh my God. He's the one most heart wrenching. Yeah. He's the six ex-wives and yeah kids. That's also one of the most heart wrenching episodes. Cause that's the one where Dr. Cox loses three patients and goes into an alcoholic spiral.
00:12:01
Speaker
That's right. That is a rough one. Not the roughest one. Cause rough roughest one has. bri fraser Yeah. That one makes me cry when it just starts and I'm just Every time I'm on a rewatch of Scrubs, like sometimes I'll just put it on in the morning then jump in the shower.
00:12:15
Speaker
And somehow i always like come out to it at the funeral where he's like, where where do you think we are right now? like, not going to work in a good mood. you a My nose is burning. Hold on.
00:12:26
Speaker
um This guy was also in the menu. He's a great character in there. He was ah i don't know if you guys remember. You just watched it recently, right, Jack? A couple of years ago. Oh, OK. I thought you were telling me about it recently. I thought you guys just watched it. No, no. We watched it whenever it first became available on HBO.
00:12:44
Speaker
um i as I was a character's name and go to the movie theaters before I met Derek. The character's name is Ted, but he's he's the editor that's hanging out with the food critic lady.
00:12:55
Speaker
um who like they destroy restaurants. Yeah. The emulsion. Okay. Here's a whole bowl of emotion. Yeah, exactly. And at the end when they're all dying and like the spoiler guys, but like tribute to s'mores where they're burning down the restaurant and killing everybody.
00:13:11
Speaker
He gives the meal a golden chainsaw. somebody listening like everybody Somebody listening right now was like, yeah, i don't think I'm going to see this movie. Spoilers. They do the human s'mores. Oh, I want to see this movie. Now I want to see the movie. They get the golden chainsaw. What the fuck is he talking about? I kind of want to watch it again.
00:13:28
Speaker
It's worth it. have it. On the proper day. Oh. We probably have it on 4K. I think it's only Blu-ray. Are you sure? Yeah. It was one of those ones that barely got released on physical media. Oh. New movies, a lot of people, just they're just like, what do we put it out on physical media for? You just put it on streaming. Hey, babe. but They put it on Blue Cheese Ray.
00:13:50
Speaker
I waited way too long to make that dumb joke. ah Because you're blue. I hope you can edit. um We meet all of his other coworkers here at Synodyne. Oh, I want to talk about... Synodyne.
00:14:07
Speaker
I do want to talk about his the other buddy, the other white dude, because he's going to be on this podcast when I make you guys watch Down Periscope. Yes. That's the one I was talking about being in American Horror Story.
00:14:20
Speaker
Oh, okay. That's the gay partner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's ah That's Toby Huss playing Jerry, et cetera. They're all playing multiple characters, kind of. Right. um But he's in Righteous Gemstones the first season for a few episodes. He's in Seinfeld.
00:14:36
Speaker
He's in Carnival. I know him from ah Halt and Catch Fire, which was a really cool AMC show that got canceled because they like to cancel. Oh, shit. He's also Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He's the fucking warden when Jake goes to jail.
00:14:48
Speaker
Oh, yeah, he is. So we've got a bit of a home here. Do we need to watch nine nine again? I always want to. i think I'm ready. I might cry a little bit. I'm super fidgety.
00:15:00
Speaker
His other friend here, Orlando Jones from the seven up commercials. Replacements. Make seven up yours. of of Replacements evolution. So he'll be here because we'll have to watch that one day. Oh, that's right. i forgot that's evolution.
00:15:17
Speaker
And of course, as everybody would know, here comes something stupid from Dusk Till Dawn 3, the hangman's daughter.
00:15:27
Speaker
Hard blink. You can just insert blinking noises into that dead silence, dude. That was just blink, blink, blink, blink. That's rough. Uncultured swine. Yeah. Uncultured swine. The people not watching Dusk Till Dawn 3 are the ones that are in the wrong.
00:15:44
Speaker
No, you're right. History will stand on the side of one fence and one side of that fence alone. It'll be the side that condemns Hitler and Dust Till Dawn 3. I honestly didn't even know there was a third. I didn't know there was a second one.
00:15:58
Speaker
Number two is called Texas Blood Money. I knew there was a second one. I knew Derek would know the fucking name. yeah And then this other coworker, Carol, ah played by Miriam Shore, ah who's just done a bunch of TV from what I could see, like a lot of one. She Jessica Jones, ah West Wing ah Becker.
00:16:20
Speaker
o you know, working with the great Ted there. ah But we see how much of a loser Brennan Frazier is. He's trying to like talk to everybody. He talks to Orlando Jones. He's like, hey, when are you in the home? He's going to play basketball.
00:16:34
Speaker
Yeah, he definitely does that because he's kind of almost personality mirroring everybody else. you know And when he gets to him, he's like, what's up, bro? Bring it in. Dap it. When you need the boys going to be throwing some rock. Okay, tight, toy, toy.
00:16:48
Speaker
Just make sure you give me the right time because last time you said 630 and you guys were already leaving. How stupid do you feel? Oh yeah. So stupid. I feel so bad for him. And maybe it's because I love this Brendan, but I'm like, if any of you took the time to get to know this guy, you would realize that you just missed out on a beautiful friendship.
00:17:05
Speaker
Right? this person He carries around Polaroids of his speakers. What kind of a what like non-cool guy does that?
00:17:14
Speaker
Shut up. I don't even carry around Polaroids of my fucking movie collection. As I was saying, it I was wondering, I wonder if I could dare get Derek just carry her around, like, check these babies out. What do you think, huh? This one, it's organized by a director. That's pretty chill.
00:17:29
Speaker
This one here is organized by Monster and Monster Sizes. It took me while, so please recognize game. There you go. He definitely has taken pictures of his movies to show people. I can't show you. This was my grandma's picture of her VHSs. I can't show you that one.
00:17:44
Speaker
It's pretty private. It's pretty private now. ah But yeah, so they're gone with the wind. They're all just basically like trying to blow them off.
00:17:55
Speaker
ah We're too busy, whatever. And he goes to this brewery, whatever, after work. And there they all are. And he's like, oh, you guys, you forgot to tell me you were coming here. i'm I'm mad. I'm almost mad enough not to sit with you. Just kidding. Just kidding.
00:18:07
Speaker
ah Yeah, I love that. I'm almost mad enough not to sit here. And she's like, oh, we understand that. I guess you can just go.
00:18:16
Speaker
um And then Allison walks in played by Francis O'Connor. ah Not in a lot that I recognize. She was in that awful timeline movie. It's like a Michael Crichton. know. I know. movie I venture absolutely love her in this. She just has that cute little girl next door. Kind of.
00:18:35
Speaker
I don't know. Goodness. Goodness. um She's in Windtalkers So I'll be seeing her at some point soon yeah cause I haven't gotten there in my Nick Cage rewatch yet But Yeah um yeah they're They're like hey oh you've got a crush on her She's way out of your league why don't you go talk to her ah Right Yeah Actually, I will. um Because this one time when it was it's raining and like I had an umbrella, we had the same umbrella. It was like a moment.
00:19:05
Speaker
He's on. I love this thing like I said hi to you once three years ago. I said it was wet outside. Remember? remember good Because I said it was wet. It was like the second week of July or something. He says like real specific. Yeah.
00:19:19
Speaker
Well, he gets really stockery specific when everyone's like, you know her. What do you know about her? um I know she likes butter on her bagels. Just lightly toasted. I know that she can rock the fuck out of any color, but when she wears blue, my dick gets even harder than when she doesn't wear blue.
00:19:34
Speaker
My pants get about two sizes too small. I know she she her breathing patterns slow down when she's sleeping, which is on her side. She's kind of a light keeper. She has a lovely cadence when she sleeps. wife if Are you implying that his he's like the Grinch of penises?
00:19:51
Speaker
My dick grew three sizes that day. I just said that to somebody the other day. that why you're using it? why you're using ah You, her. oh yeah. I was like, do you remember the end of the Grinch movie when his heart you know does that and breaks out of frame? was like, that's what's happening in my pants right now.
00:20:09
Speaker
I was there when you said that. I know. Last night. But then i he says, dear God, i would give anything to have that girl in my life. And we cue the music.
00:20:23
Speaker
Oh, get it. the music The music. They don't get it. They're listening. They didn't watch the movie. Yes, you did. Because Elizabeth Hurley's playing pool and the cue ball bounces over. It's funny.
00:20:34
Speaker
Our good listeners saw what episode it was. And they said, whoa, I am not hitting play until I have rewatched Bedazzled for the second time this year. Whoa.
00:20:44
Speaker
Whoa. Lowercase damnation. Lower. Ooh, we almost get a, uh, then a sip shit. It shall be moment in this, but no, I do like your joke. Cue the music. Cause it's a cue ball.
00:20:58
Speaker
Yeah. Everyone's going to watch this movie.
00:21:02
Speaker
And it's Elizabeth Hurley playing the devil. ah Welcome back. She was in Passenger 57. Yes, she was. Which we talked about last July or January. yeah class I I want to say we had classy with us. Yeah. And of course, Austin Powers, you know.
00:21:20
Speaker
Yeah. I saw her recently in Ed TV. and Isn't she in the first two? Wasn't she in the first one? In the very beginning of the second one. Turns out she's a Fembot.
00:21:31
Speaker
Sadly, we knew all along. ah You saw her in what? Sorry. ah Ed TV. Oh, OK. I've never seen that. Which I know your wife your wife and I've talked about at the bar where you haven't seen it in a while, Whitney. And think Derek just said he hasn't seen it a while.
00:21:46
Speaker
ah Matthew McConaughey, Matthew McConaughey and maybe his brother, would ah his brother, Woody Harrelson, who might actually be his real life brother. I didn't see it because it came out.
00:22:01
Speaker
just after Truman Show. And I was like, oh, so it's the Truman Show. Which it's playing off that, but it's not that. Yeah. Yeah. he know yeah she's She's there to tempt him. She straight up tells him I'm the devil.
00:22:16
Speaker
Oh, I do like at first, like she's she jumps on him and she's kissing him and he's like, you're nice and like a strong, scary kind of way.
Humorous References and First Wish Granting
00:22:24
Speaker
And then she's like, I need to talk to you about something.
00:22:27
Speaker
ah You have potential in your life or something. And he's like, hey, glad Scientology is working for you. Yeah. Scientology. It's a fucking risky maneuver.
00:22:38
Speaker
It was. Maybe that's why. That's why it didn't do well. The Scientologist went and that's all of Hollywood. ye Tom Cruise condemned it. and He took that deal though. There was a cameo with Tom Cruise, but then he heard that line and ah he just started jumping on couches and asking people why they were glib.
00:22:57
Speaker
No, it was going to be him from Legend. That's what Tom Cruise they were going to get. it was him from Tropic Thunder? ah Len Grossman or something. You want to negotiate with the devil?
00:23:11
Speaker
I'll show you negotiating with the fucking devil. Not to sidetrack super fast, but we just watched something last night. We don't do that. Was it last night? ah With Tom Cruise in it. and Collateral. The collateral.
00:23:24
Speaker
I like Tom Cruise. I like Tom Cruise as a bad person. It's a good Tom Cruise, actually. Yeah, that wig is not doing it for him, but it's a good, bad. Unlike all those times that a wig has done it for somebody. i mean, yeah, ah sometimes.
00:23:44
Speaker
Yeah. And speaking of collateral, Remember, guys, I have this digital code for collateral that you can enter to win. Comment on the episode. Send me an email. Comment on our Facebook or Instagram. Bad Movies, Worst People.
00:23:58
Speaker
The email is badmoviesworstpeople at gmail.com. If you're a patron, comment on there or send me a message and you get two entries and someone will get this 4K digital code for collateral, which is awesome.
00:24:10
Speaker
The movie that all three of us just said we really like, despite how. It's ah I'm in the midst of rewatching man or watching every Michael Mann movie.
00:24:22
Speaker
And it's pretty much at my top right now. We have not recorded the episode that you guys already heard for heat because we're doing this out of order. So that might jump to the top because I haven't watched it in a long time.
00:24:33
Speaker
I'm only rating them based on this current watch. But right now I think collateral is at the top of my list. So anyway, it's not better than the last the Mohicans for your boy here. That's at the bottom of my list.
00:24:46
Speaker
We'll get your room to the bottom of my list. No, Derek nailed it. He's like, I don't give a shit about American frontier time. Like, I just don't care. It's like I do. So that's why I'm like, that movie amazing.
00:24:57
Speaker
That might be why ah almost heroes was like, yeah, yeah soft recommend for me. Just the time period. You throw those same people into like 1940 and I'm cool with it, man.
00:25:08
Speaker
Oh, you put that teen 20, like 1920 prohibition era. You're going to trail to Canada to buy illegal booze. You like Yellowstone in the 1873. Yeah, that's different. that's not Excuse me, guys. this is like This is the French and Indian War.
00:25:30
Speaker
it's so like That's what it's called. okay yeah Don't give me that look. That is the historical name, even though it was Native Americans and French versus mostly British and Americans. There were Native American tribes that were on our side as well, but...
00:25:44
Speaker
But this is like before all that. This is like 1700s, maybe early 1800s, probably 17. No, no, no. It's pre-American revolution, which is 1770. Oh, that's right. Because they mentioned that. So we're talking early 17, I think.
00:25:58
Speaker
So there's some stuff I like at that time period. But generally speaking, that time period, I start watching it. I'm just like checked out. So this is what we'll do, Jack. I'm going to come over on like a Wednesday and you can get me high.
00:26:11
Speaker
And then we watch whatever you want to teach me on American Revolution Wars. I have to think about this now. have to think of a snack list, too.
00:26:23
Speaker
oh Buckle up for 18 hours of Hitler documentaries. I'm in for the ride. Oh, come on. I'm going pepper in some Mussolini just for a little leaven. Or we can do it on a Sunday night when he's at work.
00:26:36
Speaker
There we go. but But so ah so, yeah, she's like, I'm the devil. Gives her a business card, all that stuff. He's like, oh, yeah, sure. It's clear now. You're the devil. one thing I do want to mention here, though, is when she's like, she's he walks away from her and she's wearing this like sexy red dress. She changes outfits a lot. I think I read like 19 times. I did want to ask at some point, Whitney, think about it now. We'll ah answer later. Your favorite outfit of hers.
00:26:59
Speaker
Oh, obviously the teacher. don't know, man. That's a pretty good one. That is a good one. You might be surprised, but mine's the police officer. That's pretty good one. That's not surprising at all. Not the police officer, but meter maid.
00:27:12
Speaker
Yes. Barely a police officer. The one where she's like telling the pop later kids... When she's like the teacher and there's no homework, apparently... Oh, yeah, I read in the trivia that one of the people don't know if was a producer or somebody said that that was her personal clothing from home.
00:27:31
Speaker
Oh, shit. in the That's pretty fucking rad. But I do really like this part because he like he walks away from her. And when he goes out into the parking lot, she's there again, laying on this car with a glass of brandy.
00:27:43
Speaker
trying to you know seduce him to the dark side. the The brandy catches on fire and she just tosses it into this car. And he's like, you can't do that. And like pats it out. And as they're walking away, smoking or talking, a cars just smoking and smoking. And then you just burst into flames and nobody's even paying any attention. There's just a burning car in the background. And it's, it, I was laughing a lot. Did anybody catch the mural on the back?
00:28:06
Speaker
Oh yeah. Hers is like temptation or something. It's like, do it for you or something. And it's just like a lady, half naked lady laying down. Okay. I was wondering if that was supposed to be her. i think so. She pops up in a couple different things in the background. Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:22
Speaker
yeah I remember that the first time I watched it. i didn't see it any of these times. but i Here's the thing. She's actually the good guy here because the devil doesn't punish good people. That's just not how it works. If you believe in any sort of devil in general.
00:28:37
Speaker
like you You would never be the expert. but Okay, we'll go with Catholicism. The devil doesn't punish good people, just bad people. so when there are Maybe tempts good people to see if they'll do bad. but you know if they're If the devil's burning your porch, you're probably a fucking shitty person.
00:28:53
Speaker
Yeah. Just there. Devil's punishing. You had that coming. Yeah. Well, like she's so she's introduces him to the idea of the movie, which is you get seven wishes if you sign this contract that I'm going to give you later.
00:29:05
Speaker
And he's like, sure, I do. My first wish is a Big Mac and a large Coke. Bling. And so hold on. so I'm with you one. going jump ahead a little bit because at the end of the movie, she's like, I've got two wishes left.
00:29:18
Speaker
And she says, no, you've only got one because of the Big Mac. Fucking bullshit. Because first of all, he hadn't signed the contract yet. I agree with that. I agree with that. Second of all, She didn't do shit. She's like, okay, here's your magic wish. Let's ride a bus to McDonald's. She's summoned the you pay for your own food. Yeah. She's summoned the bus.
00:29:37
Speaker
It's McDonald's and this is San Francisco. I guarantee you that they rode that bus for a block and a half. Can finish? Can I finish? No. Can I finish? Okay, I'm finished. All right, I'm finished. You can't tell if they will not get McDonald's to tell me it's Burger King.
00:29:51
Speaker
i Hey, guys, i don't want to sound needy here. i'm needy. But we have a Patreon at patreon.com slash first people. Mm-hmm. And it only costs $3 a month. $3 a month is nothing.
00:30:04
Speaker
And I know times are hard right now. Real hard for me. Inflation's up. no You can't afford your groceries. Can't eat. But you can't afford $3 a month if you love us. Give us $3. Super love us. Please love us.
00:30:16
Speaker
we're not We're not begging. I'm begging. We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh, boy. not My knees hurt. They've been on the oad on so long. But we do kind of need the money. I need the money bad. We need new equipment.
00:30:30
Speaker
new equipment we need to do remote podcasts for all of you wouldn't mind eating we need to have video i wouldn't mind eating uh we need more drinks food sounds good so please check out patreon.com slash worst people please check us out you get a bonus episode every month and we're gonna have more content coming for you i'll send you pictures yeah thank you guys thank you so much please give me patreon.com i'm being held hostage here slash worst people don't pay my way out of here they're gonna kill me she can't this requires faith so she can't just show you that she's actually the devil and do miracles and whatnot she has to do this and have you have a little faith that she's telling the truth kind of he paid for the mcdonald's yep yeah he didn't wish for a bus ride he was at donald's you didn't specify your wish this sets the entire precedence i guess that's fair
00:31:23
Speaker
Can we talk about that? It was only $3.97 for Big Mac. $3.47. $3.47 for a Big Mac and a large Coke. And a large Coke. I mean, we are talking about episode we just released as of this recording was Houseguest.
00:31:35
Speaker
And when he orders like a fucking football team worth of food, she's like, it'd be like $9. Yeah, no, it was enough food for Donald Trump to feed that entire college football team at their banquet.
00:31:45
Speaker
Because you know what? Every fucking athlete always dreams about going to the White House and having a Big Mac. That's like you dream of that. Why? you You don't. Oh, I was like, what?
00:31:56
Speaker
You go to the White House. You're expecting like some fancy dinner. At least 13 Peppers. But they so he goes with her all my food there.
00:32:07
Speaker
He goes with her to her nightclub, Deviate, which we have one it used to be a nightclub in Tucson. Yes. All the same exact way. Yeah, I was. And, ah you know, everybody in there is like, oh, Elliot, we love you, Elliot. When did this come out? 2000.
00:32:21
Speaker
two thousand Oh, dude, that's totally why they fucking named that club DV8. Whoever owns DV8 was like, dude, Bedazzled is the best movie ever. Sorry, whoever owned DV8 didn't talk like that. Dude, Bedazzled is the best movie I've ever seen. We're going to call our club DV8. It's DV8.
00:32:40
Speaker
Yeah. yeah To the moon. and Hey, guys, played you got to call that dude. He said he doesn't deliver after 3 a.m. So... we We missed a really good delivery when he gets the fucking Big Mac. It's like, oh, this really is the work of the devil.
00:32:57
Speaker
This is truly Satan's work. i didn't even get fries because she said no. Yeah. well The wish. He gets his giant contract that's like, you know, an encyclopedia, a dictionary.
00:33:12
Speaker
And she's like, we'll just brush over it. Like the thing he does notice is ah Elliot, whatever. And hereafter known and the damned, the damn. damned You can call yourself the darned if you want. Don't get all hung up on language.
00:33:26
Speaker
But then the big thing that gets him is she plays this video of him and Allison. And it's it's not a great picture because I couldn't find a bigger resolution. But it's Fabio Brendan Fraser.
00:33:38
Speaker
Yeah. i don't hate it. With this girl, Allison. I mean, it's kind of like George of the Jungle, just with blonde highlights. Yeah. He's washed. He's waspy. George of the Jungle took a bath.
00:33:51
Speaker
That's the sequel. George in a bathtub. ah kind of power so of course he signs the contract otherwise there wouldn't be a movie and the first wish is i wish i was married to allison i wish i was rich and i wish i was powerful So then we get what I'm surprised nobody has complained about in this day of post movie cancellation because it's Frasier in brown face.
Wishes and Comedic Chaos
00:34:15
Speaker
It's charming, but it's just tan and they give him a different nose and they do the hair. I know, but that makeup looks really good. I mean, it's one of the funniest things to,
00:34:28
Speaker
You memento? No habla espanol. You memento? Me habla espanol. She starts rattling off. like If my third grade teacher could see me now, she said i'd never able form. would like to go to the library. you Where's the library? This is the house of my aunt. No, thank you. I'm allergic to selfish.
00:34:46
Speaker
ah And then his little assistant guy is just like, are you All right, sir. okay This would be such a weird day. i have not seen this movie before, as I said, but I picked up on what was going on much faster than Brendan Fraser.
00:35:00
Speaker
ah i was like, oh, he's a Colombian drug lord. No, no, no. his ah his He's got horse stables. He's obviously some form of really rich, powerful horse trader. yeah he deals in white, but it's horse semen.
00:35:13
Speaker
I do want to say, though, this picture has the there's that bandage on his mustache because he is married to Allison. He sees her going off for her English lessons with ah Raul, and he literally just rips off his upper lip.
00:35:30
Speaker
Oh, dude. It's chosen to up close. Like, aha. Yeah. Could you imagine being that angry? You ripped your whole fucking flesh off your mustache. And I do want to mention all the, going to say his friends, but his his bullies from work.
00:35:45
Speaker
Yeah. closest people to him are are there. I have a picture here. This is kind of throughout the movie. This was from a birthday post for Orlando Jones. So he's in every one of them. This middle one is my favorite.
00:36:00
Speaker
That's my favorite part too. oh But this top part, we got Toby Huss with the mustache. You got Orlando Jones covered in cocaine. And then we got Dr. Stone from Scrubs. Yeah. And of course, they're all speaking Spanish, but they're all watching him like pull his mustache off. And they're like oh, fuck.
00:36:15
Speaker
because Oh, this is where we get the moment because he has this Boda bag full of wine. He's like, why shouldn't I be happy? I got great horses and love of my life. That's the last thing he says, because I got this. And oh, yeah, I got this. I got my health. Yeah, I have a loving wife who makes my heart singing like, oh, no, that's what he grabs the photo bag. And he does like a fucking hard squeeze. It's going to be a weird pantomime.
00:36:40
Speaker
He does like a hard squeeze of wine. and goes And I just, all I thought was if I could speak Spanish, I would say that a taste, it shall be right there. That's what I'm going to do tomorrow when you guys are doing your Barley Fest. I'm going to be drinking out of a boat of wine.
00:36:55
Speaker
I'm going to get a bag of wine. You better be careful because last time you drank like eight bottles of wine and died. i didn't die. It was totally fine. Okay.
00:37:05
Speaker
He confronts her about her English lessons and whatnot. And she's like, yes, Raul has taught me many, many new things. I go to Los Angeles. I am to visits Los Angeles for vacations and only took you six months to learn that.
00:37:21
Speaker
Good job, Raul. yeah yeah yeah But he confronts her in the bedroom. And I will say. This girl that plays Allison is cute. Yeah. It's fine. Depending on the hair, really, because when she's got like the lighter or red hair, it's really not doing it for me. But when she has this dark hair, it's the end of the movies. Her best look.
00:37:38
Speaker
Also, because that's her natural fucking hair.
00:37:43
Speaker
But she's telling him she's telling him like, I despise you and I hate you and get the fuck out of my face. if You touch me. It makes me want to vomit until I die. and yes, I'm OK with that, because then I wouldn't have to think about you touching me anymore. You girl, calm down.
00:37:58
Speaker
But he finds out he has to break up this. He has to break up this argument because there's trouble at the factory. What factory? You know, the factory. So he gets there. jungle He's like, what are you guys? You guys are mad because this guy stole half a kilo of flour.
00:38:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah. He's like, what this? Flower? Shower? That's cocaine. It's cocaine. guyina And yeah, that is when we get, again, I'll show it, that Orlando Jones just sniffing out of that bag. Do you think that was improvised?
00:38:28
Speaker
Because i want to think it was. Sorry, I meant to click it off and I clicked the other movie. I don't want to believe that Orlando is like, you know what, we'll make this scene even funnier. i don't know, but when he turns around, it's not even, that picture doesn't show at all. It's like covering his face and they're like, dude, to fucking...
00:38:42
Speaker
it ah It is a scarf-based amount of cocaine They just got cocaine in like The shelves you would store like Toys in for a child These aren't even like Where else would you store your cocaine? In a closed container?
00:38:57
Speaker
Yeah, it's wrapped in a bag No, the cocaine on these shelves Is just in like crisper bins From the refrigerator now It's drying out It's a very moist country It's like going to a gym show But it's it's a moist country God, I hate to hear that. I forgot where I was going. I had a whole thing about a gem show. Except it's- The drawers for a gem show. hey Look at my rocks. Moist country. Isn't Cuba like- It's Colombia. Colombia humid?
00:39:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, you could call it a human climate. It's moist. A moist country. so That's Atlantis, by the way. Are they thirsty?
00:39:37
Speaker
But these guys are very thirsty country. These guys are doing the world. What do you think? India. India is the horniest country in the world.
00:39:49
Speaker
da Have you been a female on any fucking chatroom? Bob's in Vigene, dude. As somebody who has watched, researched a lot of international mating ritual videos, I would say it's Germany.
00:40:07
Speaker
ah Really? Well, I feel like it's India because they're like... Horny for poop. Did you say horny for poop? Is there a type out there that is such a horny for poop? You know what?
00:40:18
Speaker
Fuck it. Americans are the horniest country. Yeah, but we're also so fucking sexually repressed. That's why we're so that's why we're so fucking horny. Yeah, but his people could score one for Satan. His people stage a coup against him. They go to take over the army.
00:40:34
Speaker
ah He does use this cocaine bomb. He throws this bag of cocaine in the air and shoots it. If you don't have to be the one running through it, it's probably a great idea. i was I was surprised like here, though, because he does that, runs out. This whole building blows up. These dudes fly in the air. I thought i was watching Commando for a hot second.
00:40:53
Speaker
This is a stunt on a helicopter. like I know he's superimposed and he's flying over, but before it shows his... He was slithering this way and that. But he's yeah, he's someone's on it.
00:41:07
Speaker
um But so he uses his little pager that we didn't mention. She gave him a pager dial six, six, six, and I'll get you out of there. he well He uses it as he's hanging off this helicopter and then he's like jumps to his death because he drops the pager. Yeah. Dials it just at the last second and appears with meter made Hurley crashes on a car.
00:41:27
Speaker
rushes the hood of that car and they go sneaking into Allison's bedroom. na's taking I do like she's taking a shower and he's like, she's like, go take a peek. And he's like, what do you think i am?
00:41:39
Speaker
Go ahead. What do you think am a fucking pervert? Someone who can't get it. So they have to go steal it from peaks looking through a door. and she's like, yeah. Okay. All right. What a quick peek.
00:41:49
Speaker
I mean, it's in a peek. It shall be nice.
00:41:54
Speaker
nice
00:41:57
Speaker
But yeah, then we have Jack's favorite moment of the movie because this girl is doing her nail polish right next to Brendan Fraser's balls while Elizabeth Hurley is reading her diary.
00:42:08
Speaker
Toenail polish, I have to mention, by the way, but it's still not masturbating. want to point that out there. But based on her diary, he wishes to be the most sensitive man in the world.
00:42:20
Speaker
emotionallyly Emotionally. Emotionally. She's like, oh, you got he got me on that one. I could have had some fun with that. Just walking around. oh And I want her to love me.
00:42:32
Speaker
So we cut to Ginger Brennan Frazier, who is a big, sad, crying boy. What is with this mouth? they put him in a different prosthetic each time that's the thing i know but these two it's him i don't have a picture from that one like he's just so since i hated being a ginger at this time in my life because of this i was like is this why jack loves this movie i was dating again i want to look at i want to look at sunsets and cry i was dating a girl when i saw this movie and like and we're watching and this part comes up and she just fucking hard snaps to me and starts laughing
00:43:12
Speaker
I do like they're interrupted on the beach by Elizabeth Hurley with her Dobermans. Oh, that will talk. Who are named Dudley and Peter for the original writers and stars of the movie.
00:43:24
Speaker
Nice. um This fucking dolphin song. I wrote a song about the dolphins for Dolphin Safe Tuna, and it just starts with mayonnaise. I was walking down the beach, and I look at the sunrise, and I started to cry.
00:43:39
Speaker
i thought about those goddamn dolphins and then uh i was jack nicholson trying to be super sensitive i got some dolphin safe tuna here we're gonna eat it those fucking dolphins make me cry here's dolphins safe tuna yeah the song is so bad this is like Don't don't be the guy that brings your guitar out when nobody asks, because she's she's, by the way, just trying to get fucked.
00:44:14
Speaker
That's all she wants. And she's like, hey, let's ah talk about how we've been together three weeks. He's like, you want to hear this song? No, I don't want to hear it. May. Well, maybe a sonnet about your hair.
00:44:25
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, I'll take that. But, like, he starts doing the sonnet and more sand gets hit out kick kicked on them. And it's Bob, Dan, and Jerry. He also looks at the stupid sunset again. He's like, won't you quit already? Why don't you just set?
00:44:39
Speaker
Why don't you just set? But, yeah, Bob, Dan, and Jerry show up and they're beach bullies. And I just, like, because she's been trying to talk to him this whole time about, like, quit being so fucking sensitive, but she can't get a word out.
00:44:51
Speaker
So it's... ah um she's talking that one of the guys it's bob bob is like hey want to go get a beer and she's like oh god please oh my god i would love to this guy's been fucking crying about the goddamn sunset i'm just trying to get some cock you got a beer is it warm cold doesn't matter let's go i'll shotgun it what kind of car do you drive i could make it run better ah But she could.
00:45:18
Speaker
But she does. She's basically just like, hey, dude, I love you because that was part of your wish. But you're so goddamn sensitive. And I just want a guy who's going to try to manipulate manipulate me to get in my pants.
00:45:29
Speaker
I want to be in your pants. And it's Bob. He's just like, that's me. when You want to go? And she's like, where's your car? It's a van. You bet it is. And I was like, that's why Jack has a van.
00:45:42
Speaker
And as she's leaving, like Brendan Fraser, I'll get in your pants. but He starts dialing the fucking pager and look to the sunset. Oh,
00:45:54
Speaker
it's good, man. I mean, we're having fun at this point, Derek. Yeah, no, i I laughed a lot during this movie. He did. I i wondered. I could count like four definite ha ha's that I knew you were going to have.
00:46:08
Speaker
But besides that, I was wondering, it's like, man, is Derek watching this? Like, it's just not 2000 anymore. Yeah, I mean, i' I'll save my stuff for the end. But i will say all those the the the the wish sequences were full of a lot of good laughs. Yeah. So I like his supporting cast a lot.
00:46:25
Speaker
Yeah. um So his next wish. Wait, does he is this when he goes to he like gets in her like hotel room? remote Is that what this one's from? No, that's after he's a gay becomes the that's after he's gay. right Yes, that is gay in that one. Okay. where This is teeny weenie.
00:46:43
Speaker
this is I do want to be rich. I still want to be rich, but i want it to be something that people like me for and that I like doing. and I want to be big and athletic and strong and yada yada. I smell a wish.
00:46:56
Speaker
yeah and she he's like He says professional basketball player And she's like Dennis Rodman And he has that fucking Jamiroquai outfit And he's like god no She's like I got you bitch Do you know that Dennis Rodman is my favorite basketball player of all time It's because he's amazing He's the best fucking supporting player I have a box of Dennis Rodman stuff That's only because he was in a movie with JCVD That's why I knew he was in a movie with JCVD Oh, okay. I like it. He was on the Detroit Pistons, man. That was the but but boy, the worm.
00:47:28
Speaker
Everyone knows I didn't watch sports. I knew him from um MTV because he was dating Carmen Electra. Smart. ah Obviously, he was all over. He was all over. also he was all over the I didn't know that, but he that wasn't my teen years.
00:47:42
Speaker
That was before. He was dating Carmen Electra when I was a teenager. and Don't hold that against me. but It's hard because you're only four years younger than me, but like back then. That's a big difference in celebrity dating. Four years is huge when you're still a teenager. But like, and I know him from, I mean, he was obviously, he was in the news and stuff a lot because he was the crazy whatever.
00:48:01
Speaker
i did watch, I've mentioned it before, that Michael michael michael Jordan documentary. And that made me respect him a lot more. oh yeah. I mean, he did do his like, I'm not showing up because you guys are being assholes kind of thing. But like, and he was out partying or whatever he was doing. He's like, you can't tell me what to do.
00:48:15
Speaker
But like and that made me respect him a lot more. But he couldn't play now. He was from the day of like, let's hit this motherfucker and not get a foul for it. Yes. The ninety s were dope. We need to go back to the 90s. I might watch basketball now as an adult.
00:48:29
Speaker
If basketball was like it was the 90s where people were just like suplexing people on the court or whatever the fuck they were doing. We need Charles hello to the nose, which that's by the way. Barkley is who I think Orlando is doing here.
00:48:43
Speaker
Oh, okay. It's that kind under enunciated playing dumb. i don't I don't believe you're only seven foot six. But like if we had basketball that was like, you've still you've got like J.R.
00:48:56
Speaker
the the Jerry Ross from WWF announcing it, you know, and it's like Dennis Rodman off the corner turnbuckle with a steel chair. Like that's how basketball felt in the 90s from watching the last dance documentary. I can't believe you remember Dennis Rodman when he was wrestling with Diamond Dallas Page.
00:49:14
Speaker
No, I remember him being in WCW. Carl Malone and Diamond Dallas and then Dennis Rodman and Hogan. I can't remember who you Hogan might have been there. It was because it was a WCW NWO thing.
00:49:29
Speaker
I wonder if Kevin Nash was part of it because Brendan Fraser looks an awful lot like Kevin Nash from The Punisher in this next sequence. yeah Yeah, he does. Even down to the red. Dude. In the Punisher, Kevin Nash is wearing the red and white stripes. Nash have his multi-penis?
00:49:47
Speaker
ah Probably hes steroids. But the blonde hair being like fucking 11 feet tall, like Toby Huss says, ah you know, they being kind of dumb. yeah ah he He's not that tall. He's listed here at seven six He is not 11 foot tall.
00:50:03
Speaker
No, and'm I'm umm saying that he's not 11 foot tall. He plays the basketball game as if he's a that of a giant Viking warrior man with an axe. I don't believe he can carry an axe onto the basketball court. That is not illegal. No, I'm not saying it's legal. I'm saying plays as if he's got an axe like he's a Viking.
00:50:21
Speaker
ah Look, you're supposed to be the color commentator. You're supposed to have the fun stuff. I'm supposed to be the professional. What is happening here? But it's right here in the middle of this picture. And yeah, it's Toby Huston, Orlando Jones. And then Bob is the court side interviewer whose name is Bob Bob.
00:50:36
Speaker
Uh huh. Uh huh. And that really fucking. So there's like a a montage of playing and dominating the game. 100 points, 40 rebounds, like 30 blocks. I didn't get a chance to look at all of it, but like every stat was in double digits.
00:50:52
Speaker
Yeah, and like when they show like the top players of the game across the screen, it's all pictures of him. uhu um But like when he's doing the interview with Bob Bob afterwards, and he's just doing that like key and peel sweat.
00:51:04
Speaker
You know what I'm talking about from that skit where where it's ah like the the ah Jordan Peele's girlfriend is asking him about what he's looking up on his computer or whatever. it's just They obviously have like hoses in his hair, and it's just pouring. And dude is on his knees, right? He's just to try to make this...
00:51:19
Speaker
yeah they did i did read that they didn't do like cg or anything like that like they just did a lot of like gandalf style camera tricks where it's like kind of yeah exactly um but like that that's all i can think and it's like splashing on bob bob's face while he's talking to him i love how dumb he is too because like bob bob's using something like not to uh personify the definition of the uh conundrum of the and he's like ah you want to play good you hope you play good think we played pretty good ah we did 110 yeah it's bob bob says a bunch of stuff and he's like well there is no i in the word team and it's a team effort and i'm just glad to be playing with my team and uh you have to give 110 yeah
00:52:07
Speaker
it's just instantly how dumb he is because you didn't fucking wish to be smart Yeah, and that's what that's what I thought was going to be the negative part of this. Turns out, not the negative. No, because she is still thirsty for him.
00:52:20
Speaker
No matter what. Yeah, because Allison... She's in the locker room. Yeah, she's a sports writer. Sorry, yes. She is putting down the least subtle things. ah It must be so like huge.
00:52:31
Speaker
One-on-one piece with me. Shit, I'll kill you in a game of basketball. Who are you? and She's like, i just can't think can stop thinking when the way you play out there. You must have a huge looks right at his dick.
00:52:44
Speaker
Ego. i mean yeah I mean, it's not that big. It kind of gets bigger when I'm happy. You know what saying?
00:52:51
Speaker
And like he opens his towel. ah Oh, she does a ah gi gigantic talent or something. But yeah, he open opens his towel like and it's like an enormous talent.
00:53:02
Speaker
And he looks down and is immediately like, motherfucker. Oh, so What the devil? What the hell is that? Gosh darn the devil. And then have to go. have this just itsy bitsy little blurb. Not too big at all. This tiny piece I have to write about you. Not about me, right?
00:53:23
Speaker
Just a little teeny insignificant piece of nugget. I also have this huge thing I need to do tomorrow. It's ginormous. Yeah, because he's like, can I see you after we're done on the road? And she's like, I am writing an enormous article about the NFL.
00:53:38
Speaker
All right, give him 110%. You know, just go out there and be true to yourself, 110%, you know, brother Diablos. And I do. It is a kind of it's it's a little stupid, but it it did make me laugh the bit with him trying to figure out how to use the pager because he can't remember. He's got he's got 10,000 notes in his locker. And they all say six. They say, remember, six, six, six. and He's like, five, five, five, seven, seven, seven. Sees the note, grabs it and turns it upside down. Nine, nine, nine. Oh, idiot.
00:54:09
Speaker
it You know, I think Derek would love that would not love this movie if it wasn't Brendan Fraser, because that's a stupid joke. Oh, no. Brendan Fraser makes it much better. Yeah. I think it's a really... I mean, there are probably... the top my head, I can't think anybody right now, but I'm sure there are other actors I could enjoy it from.
00:54:25
Speaker
Right. But like he's just he's good, and it's basically a really extended... ah It's like an episode of SNL, but only starring Brendan Fraser. Yeah. Yeah. He's just doing impersonations.
00:54:36
Speaker
so ah So his next wish is to be really smart. You know who would love to do this movie that you would hate to see, but would love to do it? I'm listening. Mike Myers. This is like a Mike Myers wet dream, dude.
00:54:50
Speaker
Yeah, but his basketball player would be Scottish and his Colombian drug lord would be Scottish. and
00:54:58
Speaker
Oh, I'm a cocaine dealer. Look at that. Do you want to start real? They need a New Jersey. You know what, though? I would like to see it because I want to see Mike Myers.
00:55:11
Speaker
I want to see Mike Myers get turned into a seven foot six muscular basketball player. a Good fucking luck. a Camera tricks be damned. That's when we just have a fucking monster star from Space Jam for this whole segment of the fucking movie.
00:55:28
Speaker
Yeah, and that's one of the worst I could think of that is like chomping at the bit to do it. Yeah. ah But so his next wish is to be really smart, witty, sophisticated, popular, great looking.
00:55:39
Speaker
And I want Allison to love me. And i't want a big dick. Not like comically big. What does he say? Novelty? Not like novelty size or something like that? Yeah, maybe novelty.
00:55:52
Speaker
But then they both do this thing where it's like, you know, like... yeah Well, and when he walks in the room, he's like adjusting his junk because it's like in his way. it's like, oh, OK. All right. well I wanted him to be just like super sophisticated, really, really articulate, but also just hammered.
00:56:08
Speaker
Do you know that the first time that the fermentation we noticed he got us drunk was a monkey, monkey eating bananas? And then the banana the banana said something really stupid, and the monkey got mad, and he ate another banana.
00:56:20
Speaker
That one also fermented. And then for mints, you just got to get bananas that are green because it's minty. That's what you do for mints. The fermentation is what the scientists call it.
00:56:33
Speaker
I'm sorry. That's my train of thought. What was the question? just want know what you want to order. Sir, this is a Wendy's. ah Well done, sir. Well done. But it's this snooty dinner party.
00:56:44
Speaker
ah Dan is there again, Orlando Jones as Dr. Nigga Tabembe. His accent is so ridiculous. They say it's already won the Pulitzer Prize. It hasn't even been published.
00:56:57
Speaker
Oh, sorry. Hold on. Thank you. ah It hasn't even been published.
00:57:07
Speaker
And that's ah that's the last one down here. That's where Lando Jones at the bottom there. And then Toby Huss is next to him, but he doesn't really say anything in this one. No, he's he's actually doing the least amount of work in this movie. for the I like him. I like him. I'm just saying um Orlando and and the other guy are fucking just nailing every different one.
00:57:27
Speaker
But like my first thought of this one was the problem is going to be that he's too smart, too sophisticated, too up his own ass. Because with this girl is talking to her to him and Allison talks to her and she's like, oh, I just love him. I would love to go talk to him. and I don't know what I would say. And the girl's like, yeah, I wouldn't worry. Just let him talk. Just let him talk. So I was like, oh, that's going to be the issue is he's too much up his own ass. hu But this is 2000, which is basically 1999. So the issue is...
00:57:54
Speaker
so the issue is that we don't find that out yet. Well, they go. Yeah, we're skipping ahead. Oh, skip ahead. Yeah. Do the movie. Watch the movie. I'm with Derek, though because I thought it was going to be because like she's there on the balcony flirting. He's like, you want to know the ah largest organ? She's like, I could probably guess you'd be wrong. It's your skin.
00:58:14
Speaker
You're very stupid. Like, dude, just wants to talk about your and whopping penis. That's all she wants to talk about. In every one of these scenarios, this chick is looking for penis.
00:58:25
Speaker
It's not your sensitive penis. She's looking for the asshole penis. It's not your tiny penis. She's looking for the NFL big, enormous penis. You have a big, enormous penis, and you're talking about skin.
00:58:37
Speaker
Oh, you know what? That picture, that might not have been Toby Huss. It kind of looks like it there, but because he is playing, which is this. You can't see his face in this picture, but he it's up. he is It's him.
00:58:49
Speaker
but and Oh, yeah. So he's the one I like. The other guy that I don't think is doing the most amount of work. No. Yeah. But they yeah they get back to the house and he's like, most of the screaming happens back here in the bedroom.
00:59:00
Speaker
takes her there And that's where Toby Huss is. he's like, that what hell is going on? Yeah. And it's just this very effeminate. Like, why are you doing this again? you You're drunk, aren't you?
00:59:11
Speaker
He's like, I'm not gay. I can prove it. I'm not gay. Oh, yeah. Oh, name the cast of this play. And then yeah he goes off up in that picture. He's like, real but like they he's like, oh, I'll prove I'm not gay. Kiss me. And she's like, hey, fuck it, dude.
00:59:26
Speaker
I can see. I can see that hog through your black slacks. I saw you adjusted when you came in. I thought that you had a fucking like a goddamn whole leg brace going. Gun. I thought that was a gun in your craft.
00:59:37
Speaker
Why is he smuggling cue? I thought maybe you had elephantitis of your left thigh.
00:59:45
Speaker
He's got a pulled muscle. I mean, it's really pulled out there. But so they make out. It's a big, passionate kiss. And as soon as they sit up, he's like, yep no up yeah, I'm gay. Thanks for coming by.
00:59:57
Speaker
do you think this is it was that time you had all those Brandy Alexanders are running up and down in the the fireside? I've been like, fuck it. Let's enjoy this for a minute before I dial 666.
01:00:10
Speaker
ah Oh, yeah, you definitely would have been like, cool. Yes, I'm gay. Let's go. i mean, this is 19. Well, it's 2000. So like I said, it's the 90s. So he's like, well, I can't possibly be gay. I have to get out of here.
01:00:22
Speaker
But even if he didn't mind. Toby Huss who a good actor. Not like an attractive man. No, but because of how wonderful he is, i love him and I would be his partner for life. he's like He's like, what is this, San Francisco? I'm going down the street and I'm going to talk to Robin Williams.
01:00:41
Speaker
That was my enemy. Wasn't the bird Cajuns? No, that's Mrs. Doubtfire. That's what I'm going find Rob Williams, brother.
01:00:52
Speaker
Robbie Williams. No, Firestein. Harvey Fierstein. Oh, Harvey. fire yeah Oh, my God. I got to call my mother and my lawyer. I forget my lawyer. I got my Robin Williams movies mixed up. San Francisco, Miami. What's the difference between besides like ah ah couple ounces of cocaine?
01:01:10
Speaker
A couple ounces? Yeah, because kind of Miami has a couple ounces more. Pretty sure Miami has better looking people than San Francisco.
01:01:20
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know.
01:01:24
Speaker
i don't. The Rock takes place in San Francisco. Mm-hmm. So they're good looking guys right there. ah bad Boys 2. to Miami.
01:01:35
Speaker
Miami Connection. ah Orlando. Damn it. I need i need jay to sit on my shoulder right now and to be like, fuck you, it's Miami.
01:01:48
Speaker
Hands down. I can't argue with Jay. You can't argue. Score one for Jay. He cuts back to this naughty teacher version of Elizabeth Hurley.
01:01:59
Speaker
love her. I just love that she's at this like all boys Catholic school or something. I'm assuming by the jackets and stuff. It's a dead poet society school or whatever this is. And she's just like, um history is stupid.
01:02:12
Speaker
No one gives a fuck about other languages. We, we, yeah, yeah. Who cares? Go home. Watch a lot of TV. Play video games and yeah show up tomorrow like 1030. Who gives a fuck? Yeah.
01:02:23
Speaker
Well, all these kids bolt out and I'm just waiting for like the one kid to stay behind and be like, I need to talk to Miss Hurley some more. All these kids ran out because they all had made cums in their pants.
01:02:34
Speaker
They did. their pan Uh-oh. You see many apples she had? Apples for gay. Not to be like a stereotypical. More apples than students. Not to be like a stereotypical 40-ish year old man, but this schoolgirl outfit was doing it. That's what I'm saying. don't have a photo of that one because I just grabbed a few right before we came on. I saved you for myself.
01:02:56
Speaker
He did. No, it was that one and then this one from the beginning of the movie. And not the outfit, but once she put her legs up on the table. yeah but You know, she never really hit that cigarette either. She like lit the cigarette, but she never actually smoked the cigarette.
01:03:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Was that oh I guess that it was about the time where they're like, if you smoke in a movie, you're a bad person. And or she just spoke. And yeah, maybe she'd maybe she'd smoked and quit.
01:03:22
Speaker
That's what it is. She didn't want to go the way of like, i don't know, there's those actors who've probably gotten, and I mean, I got to think about how many movies Val Kilmer smoked cigarettes in, but throat cancer. Fucking male. Probably not a coincidence.
01:03:35
Speaker
So he decides with his next wish that he wants to help mankind. So and he wants Allison to treat him with respect. So I want to be the president of the United States.
01:03:47
Speaker
And very sarcastically, Elizabeth Hurley is like, that's the noblest, most unselfish thing I've ever heard, Donald. So he gets turned into you heard me. He gets turned into Abraham Lincoln. Oh, this is the shortest one because we're getting like the movie's got end.
01:04:03
Speaker
Yeah. so That first one, the Colombian drug lord was definitely the longest and they get shorter every time. Yeah. I mean, this one's just a funny one. Like who wants to go to the fucking time before toothpaste and showers?
01:04:16
Speaker
Even if you do love this girl, she's got butt breath right now. Also, he hears the champagne cork pop and he's just like, well, yeah, like, if I don't want to I think I've already seen this one. No, no. yeah say If you know ah even a little bit about American history, it's he's Abraham Lincoln. And they're like, hey, I'm glad you're here for this play. It's called Our American Cousin. I'm like, oh, oh.
01:04:38
Speaker
Because I know where Lincoln was assassinated and he knows too. Cause he's like, a fuck. well Yeah. Pretty sure I've already seen this. Oh no, no, no, no. And I think it's Bob who runs out here and does the six Semper Tyrannus. Yeah. And he's like, just one second.
01:04:55
Speaker
Do you know the assassin's name? ah John Wilkes Booth. Correct. How's your Anderson? Why would he not know that?
01:05:05
Speaker
I thought everybody knew that. Who's the other three name presidential attempted killer? No, we of JFK. Go ahead.
01:05:14
Speaker
Was he three names? LHO. oh Lee Harvey Oswald. Okay. And I'm the one that fails American history. ah Well, you know what? I haven't watched my copy of JFK since I picked it up yet. I've never seen it.
01:05:34
Speaker
Damn it. I keep hitting my microphone. Dude. Never. I just blow your mind. i Yeah. It's Jack's favorite guy. It's a Kevin Costner movie where no one's after his seed.
01:05:45
Speaker
So he comes back from being Abe Lincoln and he's right back at work. Are you saying hey, and Lincoln? Hey, Blinken. Where ah is that the spoof of Robin Hood Men in Tights? Yeah.
01:06:02
Speaker
Yeah. But she appears on his computer. ah There's people walking by. Pretty sure he's watching porn. You can see people in the background like looking like, okay.
01:06:15
Speaker
She's got the fucking the hot little call girl thing going in here. But his fun and his computer's blank when it like pans out. Oh, is it? Yeah. Because somebody walks by and looks like at work, dude.
01:06:28
Speaker
I think that look was he's talking to his computer because he's like, oh, you've got it all wrong. Counting it. Two wishes. to like That's an off computer. His headset's not even on.
San Francisco Life and Humorous Observations
01:06:40
Speaker
We go through the one and two wish thing that we talked about. So he goes to church. He wants to try to talk to God. We have a priest played by welcome back. ah Brian Doyle Murray. Yes, indeed.
01:06:50
Speaker
He's also in Caddyshack. And speaking of. He's in JFK. look Oh, he's looking back because he was in ah nothing but Nothing But Trouble. Yeah.
01:07:02
Speaker
Did I miss you guys saying that? Yeah. Well, I'm back now. This is when he's like, he's trying to talk to this priest. He's like, no, I need to talk to God. I got some prayers for it. No, like I need to talk to God like one on one. It's personal.
01:07:14
Speaker
All right. look devil jipped me for a hamburger. Police. I'm just going to step away real quick and make a quick phone call. Why would you call the police on that? It's the 90s slash 2000s, so it's like, oh, crazy person. Better call the cops. Although that's not that different now. The churches wouldn't turn them to the police. In a city like San Francisco, and you kind like we've been in we've been in San Francisco the...
01:07:40
Speaker
The unhoused population, some of those people are... We watched a guy take a shit on the sidewalk. Yeah, while somebody 10 feet away had a needle in their arm. Weird, because he's right now at a campfire talking about this one time that he accidentally had to poop on the sidewalk. He's like, and these two strangers just stared at me.
01:07:58
Speaker
They just watched. but I was having a really bad moment, and these two fucking assholes from Tucson just stared and went, ugh, look at the guy's shit on the sidewalk, as if I had just some guy's dad whose kid was inside playing a basketball game he's like there's the bathrooms are broken is an emergency i want shit my be my life yeah these are expensive pants you can rent a sidewalk
01:08:24
Speaker
but yeah he gets arrested And this this desk sergeant's talked to him. He's like, ah what are you? or nos Sorry, officer. Yeah, he sends them in. they book They book him, basically. He's like, you can either book me or you can send me away. And he's like, oh, really? yeah Those are my options. Whatever will I do?
01:08:40
Speaker
Hey, I'm thinking book him, Dano. always more state And then we have this guy who's only credited as Elliot's cellmate. And I didn't get the actor's name. I thought I did. I don't recognize him from anything. god He's gorgeous. yeah he got he got hired for i mean He's not a bad actor by any means, but he got hired for his eyes and his smile.
01:09:00
Speaker
He's got that little cherub cheeks and that kind of like upturned smile, but it's not a Joker thing. you know it's It's good. they never They never straight up say it in this movie, but he's playing God. He is playing God. I think you might be like, oh he's playing an angel.
01:09:14
Speaker
The end end where he's playing chess against the devil, that's light and dark when you are solidified yeah yeah yeah great smile like when he's doing this fucking speech of like it's not really your soul like it didn't belong to you in the first place that's that belongs to god like and and i don't nobody sitting here is religious but he's just smiling i'm like i feel like everything's gonna be okay yeah it's a good day is it yeah hell yeah damn you yeah So he gets released and and goes to deviate, which is all rundown now it's because it was just an illusion. But but there are still people in there dancing. But it's like they're all there's people sleeping like they're and women passed out in the go-go cages. These people have been.
01:09:57
Speaker
It's like people who were like, I wish I could party forever. And now they're still partying forever. and they're like, I can't do it anymore. The first night we see this was a club in Phoenix. Now this is a club in Yuma.
01:10:08
Speaker
incredible And his whole thing here is he's like, hey, you know what? I don't want my last wish. There's nothing you could give me because you fuck it all up anyway. Life doesn't work by magic. Make your fucking blush.
01:10:21
Speaker
And she's like, yeah, it doesn't work that way. You won't like me when I'm angry. Let me slip into something a little more terrifying. yeah And I could tell I could tell a big CG thing was coming here because Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley don't look like they're in this room for this whole scene.
01:10:35
Speaker
They were very lighting. It is. Yeah, the lighting is off a little the background is super off. And um she turns into ah Satan from Spawn for a second.
01:10:47
Speaker
ah Better looking. It is better than Spawn, actually. Much better. Which is ah the lowest of the bars. what she wishes she She wishes she looked like fucking Satan from Legend.
01:10:57
Speaker
Yeah. They should have just cut in some footage of Tim Curry here. They can afford it. Oh, yeah. $48 million. Just throw another $500,000 on there. Yeah. yeah Give us Tim Curry from Legend.
01:11:08
Speaker
Let's just watch Legend now. Yeah. But, you know, this is whole thing. She's got the pitchfork. He's hanging off and he's like, fine. My last wish is I just want Allison to be happy.
01:11:20
Speaker
and And she's like, fuck. And well so he reappears back in the real world. Laying on the steps of court. ah Is this heaven? this heaven? No, it's a fucking courthouse.
01:11:31
Speaker
Can't you smell the urine? There's some fucking... have to meet some fucking ladies....2020 over there. You are laying in Pompass right now. You didn't know that's a court. You think heaven has a fucking... There's dude taking a shit in the sidewalk over there. You think this is heaven?
01:11:47
Speaker
I mean, if it was heaven, you could shit wherever you want. It just disappears. Point taken, ah yeah yeah. I'm the theology major, but damn. Isn't heaven what you make it?
01:11:59
Speaker
Isn't hell what you make it? No. What did I just see recently or hear a joke or something? and it was like it was the the guy who was like, ah this is hell? And he's like, yeah, well, where's all the fire and the pitchforks and everything? And here's the He's like i hear people screaming over there.
01:12:15
Speaker
That's their hell. We're atheists, so we're over here. That's what they chose. They chose to be tormented for life. Me too, fam.
01:12:26
Speaker
But um so he finds out basically the contract has been voided because of section 147, whatever selfless acts of redemption will cancel the contract because like you said at the beginning, she doesn't, the devil doesn't punish bad people.
01:12:44
Speaker
just attempts to tempt them. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this whole time she said it a couple times, like it's even like in a very sexual nature. She's like, I'm lonely. Doing this job is lonely. I like you. I'm gonna keep you for myself.
01:12:56
Speaker
And even here when really do like you yeah she's done, she's like, I did like you. You know, I love the part earlier when he's like, you fucked up my wish because you're fucking up everything. And she starts crying. like, you think it's easy, easy being the Martha's no, Barbara Streisand of evil.
01:13:11
Speaker
I don't like this. He's like, okay, I'm sorry if I said something to him, said you. and okay I mean, you are a nice guy crying, but it's like, no, I'm being genuine. I've got a ah ah fun little IMDB trivia thing that may or may not be true. I'll never know.
01:13:25
Speaker
But here she complains about, or she says like, I've been doing this job since November for 6,000 or for 6,000 of November for six thousand years ah or for six thousand years as of november sixteenth This little thing said that it's a reference to Archbishop James Usher, who in the 17th century calculated that the birth of the world was Sunday, October 23rd, 4004 BC.
01:13:51
Speaker
And according to his calculations, Adam and Eve were thrown out of paradise Monday, November 10th.
01:13:58
Speaker
No fucking way. It's so stupid, but I i had to copy and paste that. Yeah. i do I still feel for him because she you know she's like, hey, you know I did like you, yada, yada. And he's like, are you kidding me?
01:14:12
Speaker
You've been the best friend. like These last couple days, been the best friend ever That's like the saddest part of the whole movie. You've been the best friend I've ever had. ah Dude, your fucking little work buddies are assholes. Because we've- do yeah being tortured by satan is the best friend you've ever had i'm so sorry i'm still like reeling on this adam and eve spent 20 days and eve supposedly ate an apple because the she was so bored with adam already that the snake could fucking tempt her well he had a tiny relationship before you days he i've and and i was in a relationships before you 20 days is about the max most of the time they took a road trip too soon
01:14:52
Speaker
You're right. But it turns out he's the he's the first person in 6,000 years to give away a wish. um i hope it's not going to start a trend. I won't tell anybody. Scout's honor.
01:15:03
Speaker
So he he nuts up a little bit. He's like, you know, you've got to make life what you want it to be. So he goes to work. He asks Allison on
Character Transformation and Life Metaphors
01:15:10
Speaker
a date. He's no longer the geeky nerd. His glasses disappeared after that. Oh, he doesn't have glasses anymore because he's cool now. I like to appreciate all that.
01:15:19
Speaker
I like her speech where she's like, look, this whole like me versus him, heaven and hell. It's you. Like you make it, you are it, yada, yada. he's like, I'm going to go fucking talk to Alison, like legitimately talk to Alison.
01:15:31
Speaker
Cause if I want to make heaven, I'm going to make heaven. Doesn't work out right away She's seeing someone as she should. um But I do love the, the work bullies here. Like go it, go do it, whatever. So Bob, you he's like, oh moian Hey, you want to go cruising for chicklets later? And then, uh, uh,
01:15:50
Speaker
Oh, dude. Brendan Fraser's never been so fucking sexy. Just grabs him and he's like, are we done? ah And the way he's like, you yeah.
01:16:01
Speaker
Have the day you deserve. And sets him down and walks away. My favorite person in this group, though, is Toby Huss. Because like Bob walks away. Allison sits at her. Or not Allison. The other girl sits at her desk.
01:16:14
Speaker
Orlando Jones kind of wanders off. And Toby Huss just like.
01:16:20
Speaker
Just crouching like fucking fake elevators down out of the fucking scene. We all just tried to slide out of the camera because I can't reach the camera. Like I looked to ah Brendan Fraser was like, oh, sorry.
01:16:33
Speaker
yeah
01:16:37
Speaker
I'm glad you enjoyed that as much as I did because that was just like ah laugh out loud by myself moment. Right? Oh, yeah. um And then luckily for Brendan Fraser in the creepier turn of this movie, Alison's doppelganger moves in next door to him. First of all, real quick, I want to mention he rides his bike home up this hill in San Francisco.
01:16:59
Speaker
he is very clearly being pulled by cables because we've driven up those hills yeah and our car could barely do it. like and that guy's like holding his bike on his shoulder. There's a guy in the background carrying his bike up because he can't ride it. It's like you don't even even understand this movie.
01:17:15
Speaker
It represents that his faith and his determination and goodwill, that this uphill battle is no longer a battle. It's an enjoyment. He's being pulled up by the good light of God and he's not being weighed down by his own negativity for the first time ever.
01:17:32
Speaker
Thank you for mansplaining something. Oh, so that's why my car couldn't go up the hill. Whitney and I were both in it. It was all that negativity. You guys were just full of I am not a negative person. fuck you. I am not a negative person, bitch. Fuck you.
01:17:46
Speaker
But yeah, Allison's doppelganger moves in. Nicole, not Nikki, not Nick, not- Not me, not Nick. Do you want to help me? Spreken the English. Pelle-vous Americano? No.
01:17:59
Speaker
know It was awesome. but I do like, though, he's like, sure, I'll help you. Let me move these speakers in, plug them in, and then you can do the rest yourself. And I'll cook you dinner, too. I really hope that this is not too creepy, but...
01:18:12
Speaker
And I do have a sister. Now I have a lot of brothers though. Like, I'd be like, no, I'm right here, dude. If you're trying to flirt with me, flirt with me. Don't ask about my sister already. you have any like hotter sisters. Cause I mean, I will settle for you, but if there's a hotter sister, i kind of, I kind of feel bad for Nikki here.
01:18:29
Speaker
Sorry. Shadow. She hates that. nile Whoa. Don't, don't the little Nick like that. Cause like is like, is like Like she looks like Allison.
01:18:41
Speaker
so basically, yeah, he's like, I'll settle for her. No, this is the Allison I meant to have. Like, all right this is the beauty that I wanted. This is why people have doppelgangers only in looks, not by action. As long as she never meets Allison, because then she'll be like, oh, I see why you're with me. Allison's going to move out of this town any minute now.
01:19:00
Speaker
I don't know if you heard me say, oh, meet Joe Black. That's where I know this girl from. She's in meet Joe Black. as Allison yes oh okay I never saw it the love interest in me Joe Buck no that is the girl from Mallrats
01:19:16
Speaker
Brandi Svenning I can't think of her the actress's name but right I'm pretty I don't know I've never seen it fuck it is why do I know this girl I know her from something I see her with long dark hair with bangs long straight hair Like I said, I saw a lot of TV. That's right. It was her Brandy from Mallrats.
01:19:33
Speaker
It's this happy montage of them being together at the end. We do see Elizabeth Hurley and Elliot Selimate playing chess. yeah And she even is like, hey, look at that. And God looks over and he's like, oh shit, yeah Well, she like distracts them to try and change pieces. Well, and then he even turns around he's like, you rascal. Gotcha, bitch.
01:19:52
Speaker
I'm little upset we didn't talk about the gay scene when he's like, ah kiss me. And the the the partner, Toby, says something. He you shut up, bitch. oh Oh, that's right. Yeah, sorry. It's just Brendan Fraser. Shut up, bitch.
01:20:06
Speaker
so That was the first cuss word in this movie. Is this a PG movie? PG-13.
Comedic Value and Personal Ratings
01:20:10
Speaker
You can't have a PG movie with these outfits. Oh, yeah. Well, also, gay factor. Yeah, at this point in time, there's gay people.
01:20:19
Speaker
Oh, there is a big explosion. So that's some violence. and then And then I think it's mostly the outfits. Cocaine. There was no nerfs. oh Oh, cocaine, drug use. Yeah, that'll pop it up. There wasn't really any blood. There was the ripped off mustache with the gaping. Oh, that's going to be rated PG-13 alone. Dramatized some children.
01:20:37
Speaker
But we have this fucking trash 90s alt rock outro. Sister Hazel. Sister Hazel, dude. Fuck that. I know. i think I mean, it's better. It's better than the the score track they switched to after the score in this was whatever. But like this, like fart 90s outro is just like, all right, I get it. But then it goes to the ah hogs, all the covers. And what was Brennan's?
01:21:02
Speaker
Oh, snores. if I can't remember what it says. Yeah, it does those little pop up drinks on them. Oh, drinks from the carton. Yeah. Jack. Bernie knows. yeah Oh, yeah.
01:21:14
Speaker
I got a Bernie knows. Yeah, but you didn't drinking from the carton. No, from the whole leg.
01:21:22
Speaker
all right All right. He found his person. It's a big deal, Derek. Just because you're not a fe sorry, your wife fell in love with robot. right jack i fell in love with robot i can't remember like so i know on mental health patreon we do three thumbs scale do we do that on the regular feed too i think we three thumbs you know what yeah it's three thumbs for people who've seen it recommendations slash three thumbs for people who haven't i think is what i don't fucking know i'll definitely just go last just just do both it's my rec so i will go last because everyone knows where i stand on it
01:21:55
Speaker
Okay. So wife. Oh, oh I'm first. Yes, ma'am. Why can't he be first? Ladies first. Well, he was exactly. You're my wife. right I'll go first. um I will recommend it.
01:22:06
Speaker
I did enjoy it. ah The thing I was referencing earlier that I said, talk about the end is that The very beginning where Brendan Fraser is super sad sack, really just it's a trope that's been done and done and done. So it bothered me.
01:22:22
Speaker
um But it gets really funny. i had a lot of genuine laughs. And then of course, the last not even the last act, but the last piece after the the final wish and stuff, it's like.
01:22:35
Speaker
it's very trite. It's been done kind of thing, but it's also like, we have to get this movie and we have to close it. But the whole point of this movie isn't the beginning or the end. The story doesn't matter. The point of this movie is it's Harold Ramis and it's about the laughs and the laughs are there.
01:22:50
Speaker
And all the wish sequences are very funny. And I still, like I said, I still got last at the end when he stands up to his bullies and Toby Hus goes like elevatoring out of the screen. Like it's, there's a, it's a lot of good stuff. It's,
01:23:02
Speaker
Like it's a solid like three star middle of the road ninety s slash 2000s. How many thumbs? Comedy. ah Two thumbs. Okay. um Just because it's like it's not I'm not going to be like everybody should see Bedazzled.
01:23:16
Speaker
But I can 100% understand why this is a mental health movie for Jack. And it's just it's kind of thing you can watch and just feel fuzzy. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I dig that. So I did enjoy it and i I didn't think I was going to. And just a quick counter before Whitney gets to hers because I do agree with a lot of things you're saying, but you're wrong.
01:23:35
Speaker
ah Like the over the overdone trope, you're right, but it gets out of it quick. like No, it does. And that's what that's what I'm saying. like We get them glassed off real quick. Because I was at the very beginning at the very beginning like when it started and it's like he's he's depressed and he's whatever. All those things it said, I was just like,
01:23:53
Speaker
oh But it very quickly gets out of that. And like I said, all the which stuff is funny. So and then the end, like I said, it just has to wrap up. It has to finish the story, which is just like, let's make everybody feel good, which I can 100% understand. It's this kind of movie.
01:24:08
Speaker
Not everything is fucking, you know, Citizen Kane or what I mean? Like, never watch a movie. You're watching a movie for enjoyment. This is straight popcorn giggles. Yeah, what this is. So. um I'm not going to be as technical as husband.
01:24:22
Speaker
Weird. So I give this a two and a half thumbs. This is definitely a movie that you can watch with people, without people, hungover, sober, not drinking, drinking, ah high, not high, all of the above. haveat top Just fucking out. Exactly. Are you drinking a fucking whiskey bottle right now? Oh, my God.
01:24:46
Speaker
He needs to drink to handle me, apparently. i wanted one more sip of alcohol. My beers are gone and I don't have a glass. I have. I was hoping no one would notice. On camera. Oh, four walls is delicious. funny whiskey, though.
01:24:58
Speaker
It's always sunny whiskey. Oh, it's funny whiskey.
01:25:04
Speaker
But no, I definitely. Knock, knock. Who's there? Never your father. Boom. Boom.
01:25:10
Speaker
I mean, it is a blend of Irish and American. So American rye. ah But yeah, I'm going have thumbs. I had caveats not necessarily needed, but always welcome.
01:25:23
Speaker
That's something. Thank you. Because I just real quick. We were so weren't drinking or anything yet. I was saving starting to drink for recording. So I wasn't drunk. I wasn't stoned. I wasn't anything. And I watched it and enjoyed it.
01:25:35
Speaker
So yeah, yeah. I had the on to onto the master. Me? Yeah, no, obviously I love this fucking movie and Derek touched on it, like why it's a mental health movie.
01:25:47
Speaker
Sometimes it's hard to be that fucking sad clown. Check on your funny friends. And so when I'm when i'm home, i need when I'm done doing my fucking putting energy out there thing, want to turn my brain off and I just kind of want to feel good laughing.
01:26:01
Speaker
Brendan Fraser has a fucking way to make me feel good laughing. And Harold Ramis obviously does as well. And Elizabeth Hurley ain't fucking hard in the eyes. so um um i also like the tightness of this like i didn't i didn't feel long at all it didn't feel long at all sometimes when when we watch these separate like this and and you guys watch before me sometimes i'm like oh man i wish i could like hurry this movie up i feel like it's taking forever which is nothing i can control but with this only 93 minutes right with this one it felt just zip zop in and out and uh yeah don't ever feel like that because we have to set up
01:26:35
Speaker
Well, I know it's out of my hands, but that's a rational thought. I'm a rational person. But yeah. You're very rational. It's a three-thumb recommend. Unlike Derek, I do kind of think it's a must watch because if you
Patreon Choices and Gratitude
01:26:50
Speaker
don't like it, I at least know what kind of person you are.
01:26:53
Speaker
Also, you don't have to have the 90s nostalgia or 2000s nostalgia glasses on. yeah Like, yeah, there was the gay scene, but it wasn't like a bad thing. He gave into it at the end. He's like, well, I'm gay.
01:27:07
Speaker
I mean, chris i'm not a I'm not a gay male, so I cannot decide if that's offensive to a gay male. but I'm a gay woman, and I don't think it's offensive. at least watched it thinking it wasn't as like egregious as some of those over lispy, just fucking caricatures.
01:27:23
Speaker
Correct.
01:27:26
Speaker
Yeah. I, um, there's something you said that made me think doesn't matter. I moved on. So it didn't make you think? No, it made me think of something and I was about to say it and then I just forgot. having look for something else Did somebody say something about a moist country?
01:27:40
Speaker
Moist country. didn't catch that earlier. ah They're known. Columbia is known for being a moist country. Come on. but Wait, what the hell is a country? ah you Mental health month continues for one more week.
01:27:53
Speaker
Next week, we have our schlock and load episode for mental health, which I chose lunar unilaterally, but I felt like my co-host would agree. Face off. You want to take his face off?
01:28:06
Speaker
no drugs No more drugs for that guy. That man. i love that. I pointed at you and pointed at him and nobody pointed at me.
01:28:18
Speaker
You need more drugs. You need a lot more drugs more drugs for that man. ah All the drugs for me. I need the drugs. And of course, we have our Patreon at patreon.com slash worst people. It's only $3 a month.
01:28:31
Speaker
This month's mental health episode is going to be picked by our patrons as of recording. It hasn't been picked yet. One day after we record is when I'm closing the the voting. um But we now have the last episode we did. We had one recommendation.
01:28:47
Speaker
We now have three to four because one person threw two in the hat. So I'm not sure if I'm going to just choose one of those and then throw three in or what we're going to do. Do you want to use the options?
01:29:00
Speaker
um We have no yeah secrets. I'll throw them out there. I already know couple of them. The ones up there right now are the Goonies from Drew. Cody suggested a movie called Sorry to Bother You, which I have not seen, but I've heard about. And I looked it up and it looks pretty good.
01:29:17
Speaker
Okay. And then um Tanker Tom just sent a message ah with two requests or two suggestions. One is Quigley Down Under, which he says is an all time favorite.
01:29:29
Speaker
a Or a Tank movie, of course, because he's Tanker Tom, would be Tank from 1984 with James Garner. Oh, I know that one. There's a tank in the middle of town.
01:29:40
Speaker
Something about his son, something, something, Darkseid. I just think Quigley Down Under gives us a chance to not only do an Australian accent, but... um It's what I can do. Alan Rickman. That was not Australian. No, it was not. It was very much English. We don't make fun of effort here.
01:29:57
Speaker
know the difference? That's what I could do. I can. I can. Well, that was Australian. It's my career. I can do an Australian accent. It sounds flawless. Thank you, sir. Can I watch another movie? Hey, sir. I have a dingo.
01:30:09
Speaker
Hey, hey. You know what? A dingo ate my baby. Forsters. There you go. Australian for beer. This is me being Australian. You got a dingo to get into it. I got a dingo to get a Forsters. Drives a fucking dingo.
01:30:23
Speaker
Our other segment for Patreon is Latchkey Vids. yeah And this month's episode, we continue Cop Rock with episode five, Cocaine Mutiny, which we've already recorded. and Nothing to do with pirates. This is something I just started doing tonight, honestly. Well, I did it a little bit before.
01:30:43
Speaker
you're a Patreon, if you're a patron, if you're a patron, you're if you're portraying you If you're a Patron and you're watching this, I have a little whiteboard that I write little names for Jack to do The videos also go on YouTube.
01:31:02
Speaker
Oh, fantastic. Well, anybody. if you're listening instead of watching on YouTube, you're missing out on Whitney saying hello to people. I do. i I reach out to our patrons. You're also missing out on on clips and things that Derek adds in. like There's work done to this.
01:31:18
Speaker
Get a chance to watch the shit. I might be making some changes, so the video might be available on on Spotify as well pretty soon. Ooh, I love that. Mama Loves. Because they're the ones who allow it. Spotify, YouTube, and then, of course, Patreon, where it's ad-free.
01:31:32
Speaker
That's another thing you get from Patreon. You get to watch the videos ad-free. How much is it to be a Patreon? $3 a month. $3 a month. No matter how you pronounce it's $3 a month. And then, of course, we also have a merch store.
01:31:45
Speaker
Everything is currently on sale. I think T-shirts are only $13, which is the lowest I can set them. It's shop.badmoviesworstpeople.com. Shop.badmoviesworstpeople.com.
01:32:01
Speaker
Thank you, Emation, for the awesome open and closing songs. Yes, thank you. oh And thank you all you already patrons.
01:32:15
Speaker
ah You guys are amazing. Cody, you're kind of a rock star. and Tyler. Tyler, you're even more of a rock star. And Tanker Tom and Drew and Chris and Hector and Double D. And there's more people that I can't think off at the top of my brain. Now Whitney knows what it's like to give an Oscar speech, kind of.
01:32:36
Speaker
burn dirt dirt I can't thank my mom and dad because none of them listen to this. She said I really speak Spanish. um Let me just get a couple more out there. h So I've been Satan.
01:32:49
Speaker
i'm I'm still Beelzebub. Shut up, bitch. Good night. And, um you know, there's no I in team. and And this is a team effort.
01:33:00
Speaker
And I just want to say that I'm really proud to be associated with my co-hosts. and and And it's a fine work to work with those individuals. We're number one! And you have to give 110%.
01:33:11
Speaker
and And I just want to thank...
01:33:41
Speaker
Anyway, let's pick up the mood with ah
01:33:47
Speaker
Satan.
01:33:50
Speaker
um I see there you got a boner in your pants. Whose fault is that? Satan. Oh my God. Look at her. she is It is. It is actually. oh actually I'm blasting nips for Jesus over here.
01:34:03
Speaker
Please hold while we adjust these technical difficulties. We are a lonely, lonely podcast. And for only $3 a month, you can help sponsor so things like this don't ever happen again. um Maybe we can have a cinematographer, a producer, an editor, food, beverages, gas money.
01:34:23
Speaker
and Hi, I'm back. welcome back. Thanks for listening. This has been my Jack Talk.