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Ep 140: Houseguest w {BLEEP}
56 Plays4 days ago
{BLEEP} sent in this request after he and Jack watched this movie a few months back, so we invited him back on to talk about it. Sinbad and Phil Hartman star in this "wrong man/mistaken identity" style 90's comedy that also served as Sinbad's first starring film role. Sinbad plays a sad sack conman trying to get rich quick who falls into debt with the mob and has to take over the identity of Phil Hartman's childhood friend to hide with Hartman's family in an affluent Philadelphia suburb. Of course, antics ensue, children are charmed and Sinbad solves everyone's problems but his own. This episode ends with a twist that you'll have to hear to believe!
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Transcript
Introduction to Listener Request Month
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to Bad Movies, Worst People. It's Listener Request Month. We have a guest with us, Bleep. And this is his request. Surprisingly. Yeah. Why don't you ah unzip your bag? Let me wash your balls.
00:00:11
Speaker
Not while I have this stick you won't. Something like that. I'm Derek. I'm Jack. I'm Bleep. this is Bad Movies, Worst People.
00:00:52
Speaker
and You didn't laugh at that part? I mean, I kind of laughed at that. I like my balls so clean that I can feel every dimple. Hey, that's great for you, dude. that's so that's Cool. That was one of the funniest parts of the movie.
00:01:05
Speaker
all right All right, get to your little thing, because we're going to talk about why I can tell you don't like this
Listener Requests: 'Suicide Club' or 'Houseguest'?
00:01:10
Speaker
movie. I can feel it, and it's going to irk me, and that's okay. It's okay to know can move I feel even though I requested it, I'm impartial, so you guys are going to have to convince me one way or the other. It's really a balancing act So the truth is, though, we watched this for the podcast today, or last night for Mal. was today, actually. was still today.
00:01:29
Speaker
it was just very early today. Yeah, it was really good. And then we watched it a couple weeks ago. Maybe even last month. and Or a month. I think I've seen this once before. Okay. And it was a long time ago. I don't remember anything. We're talking about house guests, by the way. We are talking about house guests. You're reminding Derek right now. He's teaching me how to do my job. but um So I have the email here that was sent by Mr. Bleep himself.
00:01:57
Speaker
Listener request month. This is how it happens. Listener request month. So you guys... Request movies. Save them up. and then we'll do a listener request month. And then we do a whole bunch of them all at once. And if you're a patron, you pretty much are guaranteed to get your
Sensitive Themes and Societal Impact in Movies
00:02:12
Speaker
request done. Yeah.
00:02:14
Speaker
So here's the email. I request that you assholes watch the creepy, gross, sadistic Japanese horror film Suicide Club, a.k.a. Suicide Circle in Japan. It's so awesome to make fun of that.
00:02:26
Speaker
Suicide's dope. It's a long email. Hold on, guys. I'm getting there. It's not that long, but...
00:02:33
Speaker
It's the early 2000s. Killing Yourself's become trendy, and groups of people are coordinating mass suicides. There are no smartphones, and they are texting with T9. No wonder they're ending at all. This is the literal version of If Your Friend Jumped Off the Brooklyn Bridge.
00:02:48
Speaker
Luckily, for the viewers' entertainment, it's brimming with J-pop rock musical numbers and schoolgirl suicide. And yes, I believe there are panty shots. Oh, there'd have to be. And then there was an almost immediate follow-up email.
00:03:00
Speaker
and In a complete 180, houseguest with Sinbad. If you like that better and need an email, I can write i write and read on air one. ah Strangely enough, I can tell you which one Derek would have more fun with. And it rhymes with schmoochmeid. I just feel like at this point in our country, making jokes about suicide isn't that funny because i think there's going to be a
Nostalgia and Comedic Tropes of the 90s
00:03:22
Speaker
rash of them.
00:03:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah, no, it's not that funny. I'm just saying, you think yeah I think you dislike this movie that much. That's going be like the pre-idiocracy time. So first it's going to go to the Suicide Club, and then it'll be just straight up idiocracy by that point. yeah Just dumb them down.
00:03:36
Speaker
Once all the smart people have killed themselves off. Stop breeding kill themselves. this second watch in the past month, it I realized that the 90s tinted glasses were were really dark on this one. i Yeah. You do have to have some nostalgia for it, but...
00:03:52
Speaker
Phil Hartman is just killing it for me. He's playing the straight man. yeah And he's making you laugh without even trying. He's always been to. Phil Hartman's thing. He is usually the straight man. Right. So his comedy is the straight man. and that's what. Even when he's not like Troy McClure. But that's straight just so rare to me.
00:04:11
Speaker
Yeah. Like, who else can do that, man? Usually this the straight man is like a Matthew Broddick. Just a flat, wide noodle. I don't know if he's ever done comedies, but Chris O'Donnell would probably be a straight man. Yeah. Because he just stands there and stares.
00:04:25
Speaker
And somebody else makes jokes. He has to be. Sudeikis can kind of do it, but in a different way, you know, in a more lovable. But Phil Harman was just the was just and you know fucking elephant in the room. He was taken way too early, and it wasn't because he did anything stupid like drugs.
00:04:39
Speaker
It was his wife did drugs that she got from Andy Dick and then killed him. Yeah, which is really fucked up. That's a bummer. There's a lot of rest in pictures in this, by the way. I know man obviously I knew his and I know one of the mobster guys is dead. Yeah, Anthony Lugo. And I'm going to assume the two older guys are dead. Uh-huh. I don't remember. I didn't check.
00:04:58
Speaker
Guy that's in Serenity and ah oh ah Firefly. Ron Glass. Ron Glass. long go not Oh, yeah, that's right. Is it Longo? Sorry, it's Longo.
00:05:09
Speaker
Longo. Yeah, that's correct. You ever see him when he's young? He's a, like, not thin, but he's a pretty fucking, like, rocked up dude. He's, like, fit, you know, intimidating. Yeah, in the 80s movies. And then I think it was, like, Angels Outfield was, like, oh, he's a funny fat guy. That's what we're doing. He's going to always have a chili dog.
00:05:27
Speaker
He's going to always be thinking about food. I love him, though. Like, I know that trope. This movie has tropes I don't like, but it's done well. Like, the fat guy was thinking about food because it's it's him works.
00:05:39
Speaker
Yeah. For me. Not for everybody. There are things that are fine. i mean, the thing I realized watching this was this era of of like big box comedy was a lot of this like fish out of water, guy pretending to be someone else, wrong man yeah type of thing. yeah And I think it just doesn't hold up as well for me. I think it's just too much of it.
00:06:05
Speaker
um like What's it like to be so wrong about what you like? It's pretty nice. And here is where I'm at two times in a month is like most 90s and almost all 80s, they still hold up to the nostalgia.
00:06:20
Speaker
This one just kind of isn't for me. And I'm surprised because i I watch it a ton of times. When he has and a bag of groceries and is playing basketball, he deserves an Oscar. The way the bread is sticking out of that thing, like the whole loaf. is a whole la just The largest bag of chips you've ever seen. like I've seen family size. like barely swaying I have never seen Sinbad's size bag of chips. just expected him to dunk that whole thing and it still be unripped and... I was judging his groceries because he's he's a poor man, right? Yeah. That's the whole thing.
00:06:52
Speaker
He's got a made sandwich in this bag. You don't buy a made sandwich, my friend. You buy the ingredients for a sandwich and you it at home. Well, he's poor, but he's also lazy. Hey, those things those two things don't work out very well. You got to figure out one of those things.
00:07:06
Speaker
Well, if you ask, you know, politicians, you're poor because you're lazy. They might be right. It has nothing to do with anything else. So this movie is from 1995 and it's amazing. 113 minutes. I thought you were going to say $113 million budget. like, no.
00:07:26
Speaker
no no yeah i was about to I was about to get upset too. Like, you know what? I'm out. This is a long, long
Sinbad's Impact and Improvisational Style
00:07:33
Speaker
there are movie for this type of movie. this Most of these movies are like 90, 95. And there are points at about 80 or 90 where you're just like, oh, that's got to where they're wrapping up. Because you kind of have the two endings, you know, yeah to a degree.
00:07:46
Speaker
And, you know, I know you love Sinbad. I do, but he... You know who was supposed to play... His character. Eddie Murphy. No. John who and Candy. John Candy.
00:07:57
Speaker
John Candy. John Candy would have been amazing at this, which a lot of his stuff was also like weird out of the water fish out of water, uncomfortable house guest type of thing. I mean, it's just Uncle Buck. Yeah, Uncle Buck or even planes, trains, automobiles. or It's like a weird guy who's paired up with the straight, you know, straight lace stuff shirt guy. Yeah.
00:08:18
Speaker
I bet. I'd still watch it, though. But, yeah, I mean, but he died. I bet they both showed up for the casting call, and he saw Sinbad portray this, and it killed him. Like, he was just like, okay, this one. I will never see anything more beautiful than that in my life. That's what you're going with, right? Because it was so beautiful and died? Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:38
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, and don't don't think so. Sin good. Don't think about all the Sinbad's jokes coming out of John Candy's mouth because Sinbad made up most of his lines. yeah I did read that. Yeah, there is a script.
00:08:49
Speaker
So did you know that when he does it, they write jokes in the original script then because there weren't a lot in Sinbad. Apparently there was a little bit darker script that these two dudes wrote. You could tell. If you first of all, if you just score this movie differently because it's a bubblegum Looney Tunes movie.
00:09:05
Speaker
Yeah, they're being chased by the mobsters and stuff, and it was just this like... I was thinking if you put a darker tune, because he gets out of the car and he's like, I'm driving. And Philburn's like, oh, you want to drive? If you just score that some dark, ominous tones... You're making like cable guy Jim Carrey in this? Yeah.
00:09:22
Speaker
dark Because he starts going across lanes of traffic and everyone's like, whoa, that was fun. yeah the kids are screaming like... Squints is loving it. Squints is loving it, dude.
00:09:34
Speaker
So this is directed by Randall Miller, who directed such projects as the pilot for Solution Shorts, Class Act, and The Sixth Man. Okay, Class Act.
00:09:45
Speaker
Sixth Man we just put on our list for watching when we drank. No. The dead friend basketball player? Yeah, because the dead friend basketball player. Not because it's good, because it looks awful. We're doing research for the podcast, friend. That's what we've been doing for 20 years.
00:09:59
Speaker
For 20 years. Before this podcast existed, we were researching. We had an okay run of a couple good movies, and so I'm just like... um I love these ones because I'm sitting here defending house guests because of how I feel about it. Yeah, because it's actually good, but it is amazing.
00:10:16
Speaker
And the guys who wrote this, you know, nothing. Simbed? ah Michael J. Di Gaetano and Lawrence Gay. They did most of their writing together. It looked like And there's a lot of TV that you didn't see.
00:10:30
Speaker
Oh, okay. ah New Leave It to Beaver. Nope. ah The Ferris Bueller TV show. He's correct. ah Get Smart from 1995. Nope. And a couple others. Those are the ones I recognize the names of. Those are the big ones.
00:10:42
Speaker
So let's play Box ah Box Office game. I need like a sound cue for that. Cha-ching. Oh, I like that. Fucking little dollar sign. ah So do you want the budget? I would love the budget. Please. $10.5 million. $10.5 is a good budget for this movie, by the way. Yeah.
00:10:58
Speaker
Like with the powers that are in this movie. I mean, it's better than what we just do. Welcome to Mooseport. Oh, yeah. $30 million dollars for basically the same kind of comedy. Right. like with With at least Hartman and Sinbad can play off each other better than Ray Romano can play off anything. Yeah.
00:11:16
Speaker
i mean Except for Deborah. Wait, that's the wrong one. That's the wrong guy. can't get a lead actor for like $10 million now. You know what I mean? No. God, no. Whole movie. We're going to keep bringing this up, but the movie that won Best Picture in the ah for the Oscars was $6 million dollars budget. yeah Do you understand how much Robert Downey Jr. is getting to come back and do Avengers?
00:11:37
Speaker
Like eight of those movies. so Like eight best pictures. A lot more than that. So anyway, just just under $11 million dollar budget or just over? 10.5. 10.5. And we're doing domestic?
00:11:50
Speaker
ah Altogether, because i think I only saw the one number. I saw domestic opening weekend, but then I just saw It's on this podcast, so I want to go $20 million. I'll $17 million.
00:12:01
Speaker
ah yeah i'll go i'll go seventeen
Behind-the-Scenes and Casting Insights
00:12:06
Speaker
26.3. So not too shabby. Yeah. It made money. Yeah. I mean, ah Phil Hartman was a bankable name. i Sinbad was a stand-up. This was his first movie.
00:12:16
Speaker
I don't... Because he had a TV show, right? But that was... Well, he did that genie thing.
00:12:22
Speaker
We're not going to talk about it. Do you remember it? What? Sinbad as Shazam. Oh, yeah. No, I don't remember. Well, yeah, I remember. because well It doesn't exist supposedly. It doesn't exist in my universe, which is where we are. Derek and Whitney have infiltrated. They shine silver. I've seen it. And it was Shazam or Kazam also. so It was Shazam because Kazam is Shaq. And everybody's like, oh people think that because they're just racist. They don't know the difference between black people. I'm like, no, because I saw Kazam also.
00:12:54
Speaker
Don't tell me what I saw. Who was the bad guy? wait but Oh, I don't remember. Shaq?
00:13:01
Speaker
Oh, thought said the bad actor. Sorry. No, he's bad guy. No, I don't remember. But this is just what do you call it? A Mandela. A Mandela. Supposedly. Dude, let's put Shaq in movies. Just oversized CG him in Shaq to the future.
00:13:18
Speaker
Shaq to school. I want Shaq to the future. like, you built a time machine out of a DeLorean? We're just coming out of Shaq's body. We keep the original dialogue. you can't close the door because it's fucking Shaq. I actually can't fit in here. He's in there just doc head tilted what's the problem, Marty? You've got a hunch.
00:13:37
Speaker
Oh, man. At the beginning, when he does the turns on the giant speaker and he plays that one note and blows himself away, he'd take out that Burger King across the street. Yeah. Cannonball. love what we're doing.
00:13:50
Speaker
and just Jumping Shaq flash. Shaq to school. Yeah. Leah Thompson trying to make out with Shaq. He's like, no, you're my mom. Get down here. I need to cast him Shaq to Shaq. Shaq to Shaq. I love that.
00:14:08
Speaker
ah He's going to have his own restaurant, the blue Shaq. He's painting blue. Caddy Shaq. He's playing golf. He's not a caddy, I'm telling you. Now want him playing Chevy Do save money on insurance, Shaq? Every day. Good for you.
00:14:24
Speaker
Now I want him playing Chevy Chase, but i want now I want Shaq's voice in there, so it's just Shaq going, no, no, no, no.
00:14:32
Speaker
This is in Russia. Is this Russia? Good, I didn't think so. Chuck, this is in Russia. cho Chuck. is this in Russia? Fucking Charles Barkley and he's not there. I don't think so, Chuck. My name's not Chuck.
00:14:45
Speaker
Why do you calling me Chuck? So supposedly um McDonald's did not kick in movie for the money for this movie. Yeah, this was just yeah pro bono. the The guy Kevin or what the fuck's the director's name? Donald Miller, Randall Miller.
00:15:01
Speaker
Uh huh. He's like, McDonald's was a big part of his childhood, as it was everybody of that age. Most people, I guess, in America. Yeah. And he just thought it would be funny to have it be like, oh, he's always trying to get McDonald's and he can't get it. That's like his big thing. I'll tell When he sees that McDonald's, the joy on that man's face makes me happy. Fun story about that McDonald's.
00:15:25
Speaker
It doesn't exist. Never existed. Oh, really? Well, it existed for the weeks they were shooting. this They just slapped some arches up there. It's an open. Yeah, it's an empty storefront. They built a functioning operational McDonald's. Brugger's Bagels. bag It's what I read. And opened it up.
00:15:41
Speaker
And it was open for those weeks that they were filming. And then they dismantled it and closed it down. Really weird. And you're telling me they did all this without any financial consideration. Fuck you, director or the writers. That's why the writers never did anything else. They were like, There's where that 10.5 came in. They could have been 10 million. You spent half a million building McDonald's? Yeah, I was to say this movie would have cost 9.5 or 9. They were like, I'm going to build a McDonald's and then take it apart.
00:16:05
Speaker
What a higher staff. Who you think you are, dude? That's like $12 an hour, right? Oh, no, it's $95. Who do you think you are? You think you're making the fucking Godfather and you need an authentic working kitchen when they're making their sauce? No. This is sucking Sinbad in Houseguest. You had to have a working McDonald's for that one scene where he was in there. And you know what? The whole time I'm thinking, this is the best and worst product placement ever. It's all over it. It's integral the story almost. It's egregious enough to be...
00:16:32
Speaker
it It's for me anyway, it's egregious enough to be entertaining. yeah We haven't even got to the movie I know. Okay, there's more here than thought. Let's get to minute one of 113. Sorry, I just like that fucking tone. So we have like ah flashback at the beginning.
00:16:47
Speaker
Baby Sinbad. Uh-huh. He's an orphan who's in like a Catholic orphanage. And this nun decides to talk to them about how Poseidon rules. Didn't you know we you know that Poseidon was an orphan? You know, difference is he didn't complain. He just, you know, became a god and did his own thing. Well, like these kids like, everywhere we go, somebody's an orphan. Somebody. yeah pretty sure Poseidon was not an orphan.
00:17:10
Speaker
ah Well, I mean, parents got killed. I was like, technically, I think all the Greek gods were orphans, right? Because they killed their own parents. don't think they were an orphan that makes you a murderer. Oh, okay. Makes you almost regicide. Yeah. Patricide.
00:17:25
Speaker
um But yeah, so he's like, no, I'm going to be a millionaire driving a Porsche. And everybody laughs at him. And 25 years and four days later, here he is behind a Porsche. Did you like this guy? Did you like it?
00:17:39
Speaker
I saw it coming, but it was fine. All right. You know what this scene made me think of, though, this transition?
Vamping and Engaging Audiences in Comedy
00:17:45
Speaker
And I mean, it's obviously what they're going for in the other movie, but basketball. when they When they're kids and they're at the basketball baseball game and ah ah Reggie Jackson hits a home run, he's like, I'm going to be it one day. I'm going to be a big sports star. And then it cuts to them as adults. And he's like, one day I'm going to own a big sports bar.
00:18:04
Speaker
Yeah. The Porsche drives away. We're left with ah what could be a cool car. but it is way too small for your big ass, dude. It is like a, it was Austin Shelby's, like a Sprite Spirit Spitfire, one of the one of the S ones. yeah Some S word. It's one of those S words.
00:18:21
Speaker
It's a Sinbad. Ooh, that's a good S word. I asked earlier if you know if you've ever heard this from his stand-up, but he doesn't do a set list. He has jokes.
00:18:32
Speaker
He has a lot of jokes that he has in his back pocket. He's not just improv-ing, but he never has put out a set list. That's awesome. He just goes out there and is like, are we to talk about tonight? Did he do a lot of women be shopping? Yeah, he was a women be shopping. He was a women do it this way, men do it that way kind of thing.
00:18:47
Speaker
And you got to think that's probably pretty common, but Dave Chappelle is one of the only people that I know that's so readily able to do it for two to six hours. Like, okay. Yeah. That dude's got a lot to say.
00:18:58
Speaker
you got to have good segue. You got to have good connecting jokes to do anything like that. It depends on who you are. Depending on who you are, not a lot of what he says great. Right. Like in this movie. like No, I meant to Dave Chappelle. Oh. I think it's all great. Yeah. I mean, maybe if you're not political. Yeah. There's a lot of people who are mad about it. as Yeah. a comic.
00:19:16
Speaker
If you're not making some people mad, you're not doing yeah good enough. Well, yeah. yeah no one should No one should be 100% on comics. You know what get with that? he can offend the left, the right, and the center. So I get that with Schnell, but I love everything says. I mean, like that.
00:19:28
Speaker
You know what you get with a comic that everyone's supposed to like? Yeah, Dan Cook.
00:19:33
Speaker
Yeah. That's what you get. You happy now? No. And then everyone hates you all of a sudden after they all love you. Superfinger. ah But we meet Stan Shaw playing Larry. Stan Shaw!
00:19:47
Speaker
I love Stan Shaw. Oh, yeah. He's like... No offense to Stan Shaw, but he's like a poor man's Keith David. Super funny. When we watched this a month ago, ah Bleep and Mrs. Bleep, the the the lady Bleep, ah both were like, how do we know him? And I think ah Senior Bleep thought that it was ah Keith David.
00:20:05
Speaker
I mean, they've got that. They both have that voice and they both have like kind of the same presence. But I feel like, well, no, I guess I was gonna say this guy might be a little better with comedy because he's pretty funny in this. but But Keith David was really good in Men at Work, at least. And something about Mary. Oh, yes. yeah Because he has a terrifying straight man kind of thing where yeah it's. Yeah.
00:20:26
Speaker
But Stan Shaw, I mean, Stan Shaw would be welcomed back, by the way. He is welcome back? or Oh, he will will be. Oh, yeah, he will be. When I make you watch Cutthroat Island. Oh, okay.
00:20:36
Speaker
Well, I was thinking Rising Sun because he's in that. The one where... Mine has Geena Davis. ah Yeah, but mine has ah ah the guy that beat his women.
00:20:47
Speaker
Oh, cool. That's not Gina Davis. Scottish James Bond. or no Sean Connery. You're talking about me. I'm drawing a blank on wife. Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes. Yeah.
00:21:01
Speaker
I've seen it what he' it he's he's in I just watched him in Snake Eyes a couple weeks ago. Snake Eyes? He's in Harlem Nights. He's in Truck Turner, which if you haven't seen is a really cool blaxploitation movie. Okay.
00:21:12
Speaker
So yeah. Is that Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor? Yeah. Okay. That's where that's the main role I know him'm from. Yeah. Yeah. Um, make shch and he's a tattoo artist with like this,
00:21:24
Speaker
like Star Wars like a jeweler's eye loop but different but the fact that he's like running around with it even when he's not tattooing at least in the first half of the movie just made me think of your favorite episode of Book of Boba Fett how dare you know it in standard definition back in the day it looked so cyberpunk and cool and like now in HD you're just like that's like a fucking jeweler's eyepiece did you bedazzle rubber band on like You should bedazzle a wire and put it in front of your eye. Well, I was watching this with Whitney because she was supposed to be on the episode, but something, something issues plus candy. Our dog is not feeling well. Issues is a nice of saying it.
00:21:56
Speaker
And she did the lovely lighting and camera setup. Yeah, she's our cinematographer for the episode, so I'll make sure she gets on IMG. things I had to do on that couch to get here. I didn't know she was the casting director. She was like, what's he doing with that eyepiece? Because she she's mentioned it before, but she worked in a tattoo shop and stuff. was like, you don't need that. What are you doing? I want i wondered, like does he just have really shitty vision?
00:22:18
Speaker
i think he just makes it look makes himself look cool so people trust him better. Because, I mean, yeah, I've never worked at tattoo shop, but I have them, and I've never to really fine detail on the 1908 Italian motorcycle. I was going to say. That's a Vespa, dude. I was going to say, he tattoos a Vespa on this dude, but the guy trusted him because he had the eyepiece. This guy definitely knows motorcycles. If he didn't know motorcycles, why would he look like that? Look at the eyepiece. He has no tattoos. He's got no tattoos. Never his ridden. I don't see a motorcycle.
00:22:46
Speaker
Yeah. It doesn't smell like oil. and If you have a tattoo artist who doesn't have upside down tattoos from practicing on themselves, you probably shouldn't trust them. Hashtag show me the upside down tattoo.
00:22:58
Speaker
But we see like Sinbad's thing is basically watching. watching all these like how to get rich tapes like dude it should be at least this dude is failing at being poor this dude dave del dato or whatever that he's watching surgery he's like he's the he's he's like an equivalent of uh question mark suit guy not the riddler but yeah guy for which who is banana hands tony robbins yeah it's not question marks it's dollar signs sorry i was thinking of the riddler You were thinking of that ah Six Flags guy. But you know the dollar sign late night guy that's like, you could get rich too.
00:23:34
Speaker
Matthew Lesko. And when he's done with that, he goes back to Oz. You can get rich too. There's a dollar of a different color. Nobody sees the wizard. No way, no how. And also, you're sitting on a gold mine.
00:23:46
Speaker
Sweet, sweet gold. Those commercials would have done much better. but i mean they're It's basically just to hammer home the point that Sinbad still thinks he's going to be a millionaire. Yeah. Yeah. And also but not by working for it real quick. I'm going to say it now and we'll talk about it at the end. But this, this scratchers game that he's playing. Fuck this game. Oh, absolutely. Fuck this game. Scratchers that were garbage. But like you win the three big spins. Oh, the big spin. And then you can get nothing.
00:24:10
Speaker
Then you get to go and spin. Like that's what that part you already got your you already used up your luck getting three big spins. Just make the wheel better. Make the wheel like the minimum is 15,000 or whatever. Yeah. And the highest is 5,000. Yeah, even 5,000. Take a zero right off that board. Yeah, dicks.
00:24:26
Speaker
Dude, fuck
Humor and Cultural References in 'Houseguest'
00:24:27
Speaker
that shit. You buy it. You've been buying. You spent $390 buying $1 scratchers this month. And like you finally get the three big spins and you go on and get zero. Oh, it says here, bankrupt. We actually take your house now. This this is hard to say. That's how you fun this game. Look at that. It landed on Nugget to fuck your wife. oh looks like we're going to sell your car.
00:24:49
Speaker
Cancer? How did that plaque it on there? Well, hopefully you still have two kidneys because you landed on the kidney spot. Ooh, good. I landed on blow job. You aren't the one giving it or getting it, buddy. Sorry.
00:25:03
Speaker
Anal. My wife never gives me anal and she, you're not going to get it today. Well, as a matter of fact, you will be getting it. You will be getting it. You'll be getting it. um Perfect joke for this movie too.
00:25:15
Speaker
What's the John Wick tile? We kill your dog.
00:25:20
Speaker
But we do give you an arsenal, so if you want revenge- You can come back at us. But we've hired we have hired Blackwater. We It's all get-rich-quick stuff. It's the millionaire tapes.
00:25:34
Speaker
It's a box full of baseball cards. And he's just hoping and praying that Ken Griffey Jr. gets hit by a car. Dude, these baseball cards- And you would probably bleep would know look at who's doing it now. Yeah look at baseball cards didn't hold their value as much as we especially not 90 not they over printed the fuck out the 90s is when they started being worth money because people had cards from the 60s. So come of if you would have done this in the 70s 80s great fucking yeah plan.
00:26:00
Speaker
Yeah, like my 80s held their value a bit the ninety s They were just I like this plan. It's just their fucker. Well, because the thing is, just like comic books, just like Star Wars toys, these things held their value because in the 60s and 70s, kids got them and didn't take care of them. yeah So the people who did take care of them then had a rare thing.
00:26:18
Speaker
But once people found it was worth money, everybody started collecting them. That's why I've unboxed all ones I have. I've got like binders of fucking baseball cards from when I was younger, and I actually kind of cared about baseball. I guarantee you ain't nothing in there worth anything. Dude, I got lady my late. Late 90s. What they were worth back then. You had like a 60 card, $60 card. Maybe now it's worth 60 bucks. My retirement plan is hoping that Pogs come back in a big way. Yeah.
00:26:41
Speaker
ah Pokemon cards, magic cards for me. golden boy is one that just says ah the juices or squeeze the juice and it's OJ Simpson's football jersey. It was before he murdered. um That might actually be worth something. like Yeah.
00:26:53
Speaker
Even the Pog. Tell me. the ah The magic cards, though, that's that's different. If you've got magic cards from the 90s, you're good. though ok Well, you still might be okay. Not good, but okay.
00:27:04
Speaker
You can't retire, but you can go get some ice cream. You take a played with one from the first series of cards, alpha stuff, you could probably get 100 bucks. I played with my white deck a lot in the late 90s. How big was your deck? Did you have thick deck? started small. It got bigger. The more I played, I just... I've been playing with my white deck for years. But it probably got more challenging. As you went on, it's a harder deck. Yeah. Like a rock hard. Yeah, you had to think about something. Actually, as I played with it more, it got softer and softer. Yeah, flyable.
00:27:35
Speaker
Anytime I thought about baseball, my deck just got smaller and smaller. Now I have my wife shuffle my deck first before do it. I don't get that reference. She'll be looking fucking take it Las Vegas dealer. just per And she plays it like an accordion. i don't know. Is this your deck? But i love i do love um when he's telling Larry, like but you're my best friend, man. like Because he's carrying these cards up. He's like, I didn't ask to be your best friend.
00:28:03
Speaker
dude like I love this. He's like, I didn't ask for this. I don't like you. You're also skipping over. He's like wheezing, carrying this box. He has problems. Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:14
Speaker
You know, even even said something about his blood sugar. But yeah, like I didn't ask me your best friend, dude. This sucks. Yeah. Cause he's like, my blood sugar is low. I need dinner. And that's when Sinbad is like, oh dinner, I'm supposed to meet my girlfriend. Sinbad has got to be laying some pipe. He's got to have a pretty good magic deck himself because this chick is like pretty well put together.
00:28:32
Speaker
And i don't think she'd be dating him unless he's got something swinging. Unless he's got that dragon he's wagging. Chicks like losers. Why am I still single? Especially in the 90s. It's not the anymore.
Character Development and Comedic Delivery
00:28:44
Speaker
His clothes, like his butt is so high up. I know he's got long legs because he's a tall man, but his butt is like on his back. can just walk into any bar be like, I've got the tallest butt crack in here.
00:28:56
Speaker
I'll put five bucks down. I got the tallest buck crack. like when Eddie Murphy made a joke about all of his white friends, their pants and their butt was up high and they would just grab their wallet from back here. Like Sinbad is totally doing that. Don't worry. I'll pay for it. You go over the shoulder. I do like- Yes, I was looking at Sinbad's butt.
00:29:10
Speaker
Yeah. How could you not? It's eye level with everybody else in this movie. I did laugh at the ah the slap montage like after she breaks up with him. I goes love it. And every channel he flips to is some guy didn't slap by a chick.
00:29:24
Speaker
The cheers one's the best. The cheers, yeah, where they're just slapping each other back and forth. It was pretty funny. Yeah, it's a good montage. And we meet. One of many montages in this movie, by the way. it's how you know it's good.
00:29:35
Speaker
Is that how you know it's good? Yeah. Just checking. Oh, yeah. multiple montages yeah well you know what maybe if we cut out two or three of those we could have got a 95 minute movie i'll tell you what you cut you know what when we get there i will be you know what there are some cutables i'll give you something cut away when we get there the montages contain some of the funnier moments right so cut the talking just start with him wanting to be a millionaire he meets phil hartman montage montage montage his friend yell at him you need you need his friend to say don't like you yeah montage montage montage the end yes you You guys work on the edit, I'll do the score and we'll just have like a shortened, darker movie. Something else I think that you hate about this movie. We need Twin Peaks music in this shit, dude. And Bleep and I talked about it, the Looney Tunes sound effects. Yeah.
00:30:17
Speaker
You know, when he's like jumping over, like even coming up in the airport when he's like running away, it's all Yeah. more anger yo yeah Yeah. That's a thing I didn't like even when I was younger. Exactly. Like that's that's the not needed part. I can't. You just need like a Ferris Bueller. Like something. yeah
00:30:35
Speaker
What's the plane's trains in an automobile? You're messing with the wrong guy. You're messing with the wrong guy. to you're messing with the rock you don't need the looney tunes you know also we're available to score your movies only vocally yeah i'll do the instrument it's our new podcast called talkapella we'll workshop 45 minute episodes of you guys doing music and we have michael winslow is the guest we can't have him on this week i'm gonna need you guys to just put in this movie play it on silent uh three two one
00:31:15
Speaker
um but but we need our antagonists of the movie polly and joey played by paul ben paul ben victor paul ben victor is a shorter one he's the shorter one uh he was in true romance tombstone uh the wire for a little while there i think he was in daredevil that but That sounds about right.
00:31:36
Speaker
Mafia stuff. Yeah. He's great in this. Yeah. I like him. He's a funny. Shut up, Joey. Okay. get Give me the gum. Give me the gum, Joey. These two are literally the Looney Tunes big dog, small dog. Yeah. Which way did you go, Joey? Yeah, he's really attacking the little one.
00:31:53
Speaker
And then Tony Longo playing Joey, who passed away in 2015. Suburban Commando, Last Boy Scout. Eraser. Yeah, Eraser. Angels the Outfield. He's got a part there in Mulholland Drive. So he's got a weird career because it's like, like Last Boy Scout and Suburban Commando, Mulholland Drive. like Oh, Suburban Commando is the one where he's pretty rocked up.
00:32:16
Speaker
Yes. he's playing He's playing next to Undertaker and looking as as physical. And then he kind of lets himself go after to that. not judging him because I've been letting myself go since like 1984. I was pretty trim as a two-year-old though.
00:32:31
Speaker
Rocked up two-year-old. Rocked up, dude. I had ab for days. I could lift those blocks all day. Reds, blues didn't matter. I was just picking them up, dude. Couldn't spell though.
00:32:42
Speaker
but Still can't. Hey guys, I don't want to sound needy here. I'm needy. But we have a Patreon at patreon.com slash first people. Mm-hmm. And it only costs $3 a month. $3 a month is nothing.
00:32:55
Speaker
And I know times are hard right now. Real hard for me. Inflation's up. no You can't afford your groceries. You can't eat. But you can't afford $3 a month if you love us. Give us $3. Super love us. Please love us. we're not We're not begging. I'm begging.
00:33:10
Speaker
We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh, boy. mean my My knees hurt. They've been on the obiton so long. But... We do kind of need the money. I need the money bad. We need to equipmentp it new equipment. New equipment.
00:33:23
Speaker
We need to do remote podcasts for all of you. wouldn't mind eating. need to have video. wouldn't mind eating. ah We need more drinks. Food sounds good. So please check out patreon.com slash worst people. Please check us out.
00:33:36
Speaker
You get a bonus episode every month and we're going more content coming for you. I'll send you pictures. and Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Please give me more. Patreon.com. I'm being held hostage here. Slash worst people. I don't pay my way out of here. They're going to kill me.
00:33:50
Speaker
But so we find out he borrowed $5,000 from these vague mafia dudes, but now he owes them $50,000 by tomorrow or he's dead. I mean, that's some vague. That is some juice.
00:34:02
Speaker
That is some points. It never made sense to me. I mean, like people get killed over money. Sure. Okay. If you owe the mafia money, they're just like, well, give us money by tomorrow or we're going to kill you. And it's like...
00:34:15
Speaker
This is a trope. You're not getting your money this is an incorrect trope, though. This is a movie thing. It's a show thing. Because I watch one of those YouTube things where it's like bookies watching, and they're like, dude, i'm not getting if I kill you, I don't get any money from you. will fuck you up.
00:34:27
Speaker
yeah Like, I am going to break thumbs. so I am going to take shit from your house. I am going to make you do me favors. Which if you're a high up or anything like that, now it's worse. Yeah. you know It's like, hey, I need you leave that fucking back gate unlocked.
00:34:39
Speaker
i don't know what mafia guy that is. don't know who he's working for. Excuse me. I would like you to leave the back gate unlocked. And does the big boss say, well, just kill him then? Does that happen? Yeah. He tells him, he's like, yeah, fucking get up and kill him. Mr. Happy? Mr. Happy. Yeah.
00:34:53
Speaker
I don't care you have found over there. He is gross. And I didn't really recognize this actor, but I did read in the trivia this was his last movie. Oh, I was really glad you finished before I did.
00:35:04
Speaker
What? He's a toad that became a person at some point in his life. Like, it's the reverse of, it's not the reverse, it's the tale of like, kissing a frog we became a prince.
00:35:15
Speaker
You kiss a toad, it becomes a bookie. Disney's not touching it, but I'm pitching it. The whole thing is like, Happy's getting pissed. And when Happy's pissed, he's not happy. He's pissed.
00:35:25
Speaker
Yeah, make me happy. It was pretty funny. Yeah, that was good. See? they little deal um He's coming around. There are moments. Happy's not happy. Well, who is he then? feel like we should be having a scoreboard right now, dude, to fucking sway bleep. Because that's a point for me. Yeah.
00:35:43
Speaker
Well, just the talking about it. See if you watch it with friends. It's almost in that. Yes. And we should have watched together. i just didn't. I thought we had a thing going. Thought we had a thing. It's all my fault. Going All right. Shaq. Yeah, we would have converted Derek by the start of this podcast if we all watched. Oh, yeah. We would have sat here having some beers. I'm not alone. Okay. I was kind of upset when he didn't join me for the join us for this because she was watching it and she's like, why am I not laughing?
00:36:11
Speaker
Because you're sober and or soulless. There's two options. Well, we were sober. And I told her, i was like, well, it's just that it's the trope thing. I told you guys, this 90s wrong man, mistaken identity thing.
00:36:23
Speaker
And then 20, 30 minutes later, she's like, yeah, I don't think that does it for me anymore. That's a bummer to hear. Well, when we get to the end, I'll have you take my microphone for for Rex and otherwise...
00:36:37
Speaker
not rex so uh sinbad goes to the airport buys a ticket to the bahamas and of course the mafia chase them there but cleverly because it's the 90s you can just yell denzel washington and look at chicks come flooding oh yeah of course well luckily for him he sees an all-black choir oh he knows that there those women are going to chase after denzel i think white chicks were going after denzel oh they will oh they will just not in this movie right Right. He also says he has a hamster the whole time, right? And it's a guinea pig. It's a guinea pig. And did you notice that in his guinea pig cage, or sorry, his hamster cage, there's a picture of him.
00:37:13
Speaker
a picture There's a picture of Sinbad just going like... Well, if you had a cat cage, you know your fucking picture would be in it, Jack. No, it'd be a picture of her. That way when she's not in it, I can still look at it. No, but when you got to put her in it, you you're going to want her to see.
00:37:27
Speaker
Dude, I don't do anything weird. I don't put a picture of me in her cage like a weirdo. I do put a bunch of stuffing inside of laundry and put a a tablet over the face with recordings of me oh so she's not lonely, but i'm not weird.
00:37:39
Speaker
I do put tuna in between my toes and let her eat it, but... I dress up like a cat and we brush up against each other. Who's the weird one now? I dress up like her and dress her up like me. It's not weird. I paint a gap on her teeth and we're all black and put a little tail out there. i kiss her. Sorry. I kiss her. I kiss my cat.
00:37:59
Speaker
She's got a rough tongue. yeah Who doesn't? that's why smoke weed i'm just trying to match her i do just think that if you actually put like a a straw dummy of yourself with a tablet talking she wouldn't be so weirded out when you're sitting in the room alone recording remote because she clearly is like what are you doing when we're recording she's always coming in there like dude slipping into madness my master is he just sits in this room looking at some bright box yelling into a fucking microphone yeah my cat knows what a microphone is yoda yoda what does he keep saying you will be will be what why is he using that's the voice he uses for me he yeah he has questions there never anybody to answer no one's ever there but he sounds like he got an answer ah so shack shack shack to this movie i said it because shaft
00:38:50
Speaker
Is the guinea pig the hamster's
Actor Performances and Film's Comedic Tone
00:38:53
Speaker
name. The guinea stir. That's not good name. Sinbad lets Shaft go in the middle of the airport. It's you and me it's you. It's just you to try to make another distraction. doesn't work because this little girl is like, oh, sweet guinea pig. But I'm glad they showed the little girl picking it up.
00:39:06
Speaker
can you Because otherwise, if Whitney had to think that this hamster got trampled, this movie is over for her. Well, even pre 9-11, could you just take your hamster with its entire cage as a carry on pre 9-11? Yeah, that's buck wild.
00:39:17
Speaker
I guess you could do anything wild west, dude. I was once on a flight with ah we mean eat your hamster. He bought a ticket under a fake name. So I've been in an airport. This is pre 9-11, obviously, where the woman that was doing an x-ray machine thing had a gun in her bag.
00:39:30
Speaker
They just made her take it out. They gave it put a little box and mailed it back to her house and she got on the flight. All right. So, I mean, like. so Now they put you in a little box. Now now they shoot you with your own gun, and put you in little box, and they mail you back.
00:39:43
Speaker
They mail you to Guantanamo Baylor. Yep. And then we meet Phil Hartman, who he stumbles upon. Woo! Phil Hartman. Because he overhears him. Like, I'm trying to pick up my friend who I haven't seen in 25 years, but I know he's black.
00:39:54
Speaker
Yeah. He's a tall black man, and Ron Glass is not tall. Well, I think he said he was tall when he was younger, but he hasn't seen him in 25 years. And Sinbad is 35? Yeah, Yeah, something like that. So 10 years old.
00:40:06
Speaker
Yeah. Haven't been hit puberty yet. Phil Hartman playing Gary Young. Um... I mean, news radio, SNL, Jingle All the Way, etc. You guys know. You guys know Phil Hartman. Pee-wee's Playhouse. Yeah. the the One of the people that all actors, comedians, fans adore.
00:40:25
Speaker
Yeah. you hear it, mean, whether it be podcasts or watch a documentary, everyone just speaks so highly of working with him. Fan-wise, everyone has always said great things about every portrayal. we talked earlier, he much he just does it so effort effortlessly. like He's just not even trying to be funny. He's just is fucking funny. I think it's just him.
00:40:41
Speaker
Yeah. I think the thing is, he's not a good actor. He's just so genuinely the character he always plays that it really works. Like he's just this really nice dude. He'll have to be back for Sergeant Bilko, which I'm sure he'll be back. And so will Sinbad because we still got Jingle all the way. you like a submarine month or a military Oh, military month. Sergeant Bilko, down Periscope, uh...
00:41:05
Speaker
mikhail's navy navy and then i don't know something better under siege two under siege two electric boogaloo dark boogaloo dark boogaloo and then he's got he's with his son jason and his daughter sarah jason is played by the dumbest like i would never have given this name to squints chauncey leopoldi or leopardy i mean leopardy you can't help but you can help with chauncey Yeah, that's real name. It's real name is Chauncey Leopardi and he played forever or is it?
00:41:38
Speaker
Yes, Gwen's Palador. He played Squints from Sandlot. I did laugh later on in the movie. Like he said about not wanting to play basketball or something because his dad was giving him shit and i was like, he's just going to go play baseball. yeah And he's also in that big mean green or whatever the fuck it's called. A soccer kid soccer movie from around the same time as Sandlot, which has the catcher from the right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He said ginger kid. Yeah. Yeah.
00:42:01
Speaker
big green there's also a funny thing i saw for a second there i was like this movie no um one of his credits is that he plays the rapper logic in a logic music video oh shit i like that casting um people always gave logic shit and they were like you look like squints from sandlot so he then hired him to play him in a music video yeah when i first saw it i was like Is that logic?
00:42:26
Speaker
Like I had to go look it up. I was like, wait, this did squints turn into a rapper? That's fucking awesome. And then the girl Talia cider is her name playing Sarah young. She didn't do anything. was going to say, I don't know. And this would have been like, especially at this time, you should have been in three other movies this year.
00:42:43
Speaker
her two other Her two credits were this movie and Jay Leno. Tonight's show with Jay Leno. Oh, that's a bummer. She couldn't even have been on the good one. What's it like working with that Sinbad? Pretty funny guy. and People tell me I'm a funny guy. yeah Speaking of the Oscars like we did 20 minutes ago.
00:42:59
Speaker
i I was going to do a joke when and then i don't get to hear Jay Leno's joke. Jimmy Kimmel told a joke because you know he's been hosting the Oscars and then this year ah Conan did. Yeah. And he was like, oh, Conan O'Brien did such a good job hosting the o Oscars that next year they're going to give it to Jay Leno.
00:43:13
Speaker
oh I don't get it. as as I do a good job. You know what saying? ah Some people say that grass isn't wet in the morning, but it do.
00:43:24
Speaker
That was the appropriate reaction. Thanks. Oh, wow, what a terrific audience. It's not your joke. it' It's Jay Leno's joke. It's Jay Leno's joke. It was your have laughed. I don't want your fake fucking pity laugh. No, no, I would have laughed because it would have been funny. Jay Leno's been getting for 25 years. Yeah, I got pity music coming up.
00:43:41
Speaker
Play some pity music. yeah Hey, play some pity music. One, two, three. Pity, pity, pity on me. I wish I was Randy Newman.
00:43:50
Speaker
Although that's, is that Chase guy or is that Letterman's guy? Oh, that's Letterman's guy. He's got Kevin Eubanks. Yes. Kevin was bad too. Kevin was just a musician. He was just, he would shoot it over. Like, what do you think about that, Kevin? Yeah.
00:44:04
Speaker
That's not in my feedback. Jay Leno being like, see, I'm not racist. I got a Black friend right there. Kevin, play me a Black friend music. Look, I know I was in that movie with Pat Morita and it was pretty fucking racist. That's just because I wanted to use my cars.
00:44:18
Speaker
it's The whole reason to do that movie is because they paid him to use his cars. Is it? Collision course? Yeah. So Sinbad pretends to be this guy, Derek derek Bond. How does it feel to have your name seen in a movie this many times? Yeah, it's Jack all the time. I hate it. I hate it.
00:44:35
Speaker
um But I also don't know that many Jacks. I know a lot more Derricks. Really? Yeah. How many Jacks do you know? don't know any of either. Except you. I know you. What? You got fucking Pretty Boy Derek. You got fucking other Derek.
00:44:49
Speaker
You, Derek. Oh, yeah. forgot about Pretty Boy Derek. Yeah. Sorry, Derek. Ryan's really common for age. Dirt Bike Derek. Yeah, Ryan. It's pretty common for my age. ah There's Derek Jeter. Bleep is really a common name. There's Derek basketball guy. Rose.
00:45:09
Speaker
Derek the basketball guy forever. Derek from Drunk his History is awesome. We do also meet Ron Glass, who is actually Derek. He's a big uptight nerd, dude. He's the one who plays Shepard from Firefly and Serenity. He's in other stuff, but that's that's the big thing I know him from. Yeah, that's the big that's what I knew him from, too. remember that. Well, it took me a second because this is a kind of complete opposite character. Well, not opposite because they're both reserved and stuff, but Shepard is cool.
00:45:37
Speaker
Yeah. This guy is not cool. No. But I do love when he's canceling... Is doctor on the crew or what is he on the crew? Preacher. Preacher? Okay. Or Shepard is the correct term for that show. shepherd yeah home for me But i do like, because hilarity ensues, but he has to go back and cancel the call for Gary.
00:45:54
Speaker
yeah And I liked it. He's like, all right, I need you to do me a favor. The whole thing's canceled. She has Ebola. She has botulism. Botulism. need you to do me a favor and ah not call the house and wear this hat.
00:46:05
Speaker
I don't want to wear the hat, dude. I don't wear hats. I need you to wear the hat for the woman. He's like, going wear the damn hat. He puts it backwards. Like, I'm going to wear this fucking hat. It was a good scene. And I do like the mobsters punching him face and they're just like, oh, sorry, wrong guy. And he just sits. He's all, help.
00:46:22
Speaker
So just the opposite of Sinbad. But Sinbad sees the mobsters. man can take a punch. The mobsters are on their tail. So he pushes himself into the driver's seat. He kidnaps his family. This is by my favorite Phil Hartman delivery of this whole movie.
00:46:37
Speaker
Because Sinbad comes running around. He's like, give me the keys. and And Phil Hartman's just like, you want to drive? Big smile and shit. You want to drive? It's it's kidnapping.
00:46:48
Speaker
Yeah. And you're taking this family on a death cruise. Yeah. There's a radic driving is swerving through traffic. He misses the turnoff and then just jumps over. it's Don't worry. We'll take the next one. It's all like weird sped up footage. I'm like, you can't just get a stunt driver to like drive fast. Yeah.
00:47:04
Speaker
Yeah, a lot of sped up footage. Well, 10.5. 10.5. But I mean, somewhere where some people don't million ten much people don't work for that much. I mean, yeah, you drive faster in a car instead of drive it over this drive it over to this ah ah turn off.
00:47:20
Speaker
at five miles an hour drive it over at 35 yeah it looks fast i can't i actually can't defend the sped up motion it does not add anything like i get what they're doing with the golf carts because golf carts aren't fast especially this fucking maybe we're just rover golf cart they're using or whatever but like This part doesn't mean any sort line I could be mistaken, but there were even interactions at the dinner table where they were speeding up reactions. Oh, the wine party. The wine party has sped up. Some of it for when they're drunk works, but when it's a normal delivery interaction and then you see people moving weird and you're like...
00:47:53
Speaker
It didn't add a dinner with just the Okay, the up of the cars, I can only try and defend by saying maybe they wanted to keep it risk-free. You never feel like it. Maybe, like, keep your audience happy, your younger audience. It doesn't feel like anyone's ever in trouble.
00:48:05
Speaker
I guess I didn't really watch it that closely. So, I mean, like, was Phil Hartman or someone in the car? Like, the kids obviously weren't. But like, ah you know, like was there a real actor in the car? And then so the stuntman had to go slower kind of thing. Maybe I didn't see that. I didn't watch it. I just think for the audience, like we don't want it to look like, oh, my God, they're going to hit it. Just like, oh, look at listen to this fucking wonky, sacking, sacking, sacks music. I do love, though, this whole thing ma is definitely improvised. i was This is the specific example they gave when he's talking about the accident that changed him. Why he's no longer so stuck up and conservative.
00:48:38
Speaker
Then he's just talking about uh snorkeling with uh with the accident stingrays in the cayman islands and they were attacked by a great white sharks and i just love it he's like there's blood and bubbles and butts everywhere get it out of me get it out His eyeball was in my face. It was touching my my face. See, in our darker cut, this is like a great scene. We have kids screaming in the back. This really tense music.
00:49:01
Speaker
ah Then the next best part is, how's your wife? She's dead, man. I talked to her yesterday. Dead inside. That's what I meant to say. She is dead inside. That was pretty good. this Which is like also not going to... Help him not ask questions.
00:49:14
Speaker
My wife's son dies. She's dead inside from the loss of our son. oh yeah to To the Ivy League because he's in Princeton. Pretty good by him. Yeah. It's good riffing. Yeah. No, at this point, I wasn't. One point check.
00:49:26
Speaker
At this point of the movie, I wasn't 100% checked out yet. Yeah. Yeah. it comes later. Not too much later. Not too much I'm betting you that you hated this presentation. Well, this thing is like the presentation was actually decent too, but it's like, it's this comedy the whole time. And it's just, it's a lot.
00:49:42
Speaker
It's taxing. yeah Like this, this type of delivery and stuff works with the beginning, but I'm like, at a certain point, remember your lines and just do those. I'm going to say something to you that I haven't said to a lot of people. I think you need to smoke more weed.
00:49:54
Speaker
Yeah, probably. You know what? A big old bowl of weed would have helped. Okay, I smoked a lot on this last watching day. I smoked a lot. Well, I know you guys are awake, but like... And Jack, it doesn't matter if he's awake.
00:50:11
Speaker
It's true. I have a vaporizer in my room. It just blows smoke in my mouth every 15 minutes. It's a humidifier. It's a humidifier. One milligram per hour just releasing into his. It's a humidifier, but buty he just replaced the Vicks Vaporub with like an infused one.
00:50:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Just filling the room the time. It's that fucking Star Wars thing that you just set on the table at the bars. just vaporizing some loveliness. I love this. This is giving me some ideas. It's volcano thing without the bag. To the craft room.
00:50:40
Speaker
Oh, I have that. I have the Lou. Yeah, we'll just take the bat off and just fucking the whole time. this is This is the beginning of what I'm getting frustrated because it's like,
Wrapping Up: Pacing, Humor, and Final Thoughts
00:50:49
Speaker
it's all this vagary. Nobody is this vague in real life.
00:50:52
Speaker
Like ah Phil Hartman is like, hey, thank you for agreeing to do the thing. And he's like, right, the thing. And the thing is, you know, the thing. Yeah. then later on, it's like, oh, we have this other thing to do. Oh, there's this party about a thing. like Okay. It's because this guy that he's pretending to be, do to to de Derek, he's supposed to be a very detail-oriented guy. Right. Where he read his itinerary once, and Phil Hartman's like, oh, if I have to repeat myself to him, he's going to be annoyed. Like, of course I know what the thing is. You don't think i know what the thing is? He would also be annoyed by his friend constantly being like, the thing. He's like, why don't you expand your vocabulary, you piece of shit.
00:51:29
Speaker
Point to Derek. That guy's just that kind of asshole. But so the thing is a career day presentation. And this was the funny part of the vagary because the lady running this organization just doesn't have her notes in order. She doesn't have her shit together.
00:51:45
Speaker
and so she's like, ah we welcome Derek Bond, a professional in his career. ah Sinbad's trying to get out of it too. He's like, I got my notes in my car. She's like, no, no, no. We got your slides. Don't you worry.
00:51:59
Speaker
I'm going to let this guy go in front of me because his high water is getting shorter by the second. I do like that the kids are laughing when he's saying shit. They're just like, all right. Well, because you because when it's first like career day, all the kids are like, yeah. And now this guy's making fun of a couple teachers and professors. Yeah. I like it. Yeah.
00:52:16
Speaker
um but yeah he's got slides of also he's probably the third black person in this town fair but there's like all these slides of gross shit and i'm like i didn't remember anything about this movie okay but i'm looking at this the slides what they show of them and i'm like oh he's a dentist because you see like a throat and like a tongue and like all this stuff and i'm like all right guy's a dentist sinbad doesn't get it for another like 35 minutes like Somebody has to tell him.
00:52:40
Speaker
Yeah. Somebody actually tells him. um I do like the one dude standing up like, ah you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And he's like, how about you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, you piece of shit. And that's like his whole rebuttal. Dude, his rebuttal was, why don't you come up here and tell me, mister, I need a woman.
00:52:56
Speaker
the school's all, whoa, got him. I'm sorry. so sorry. I will actually be sitting down now. Because this guy is the head of the science department at this school. And even when they first say, oh, he's got a question. Mr. Ichabod, the head of the science department.
00:53:08
Speaker
Everybody's like, boo. Oh, yeah. He's like, Mr. Ichabod. Mr. Ichabod. His question was great, though. He's like, in your book, you said in chapter... In chapter five, you said that you would do it all over again. What'd you mean by that? I wouldn't have added that chapter.
00:53:22
Speaker
The only reason I added that chapter is because you need five to get to six. Yeah. it's It's a stupid, funny vamping. Yeah. And I mean, you know what? Based on the writer's pedigree, their jokes probably weren't any better. Right.
00:53:36
Speaker
But like, it's just it's all the vamping that's just- They're used to a laugh track just hitting so hard behind that. You skip five to get to six. So where's the laugh track on set? This is a movie. There's no laugh track.
00:53:47
Speaker
What- So the theater, or there will be a laugh track for the audience. How will people know when to laugh? Your jokes will be funny and they'll laugh. Not without a sign. Can we pay an usher to walk by with a sign that says laugh now? Can we put applause in the bottom right corner of the movie the whole time? Sinbad can be funny, but he's not Robin Williams or even like Paul Rudd or somebody from today. who You're right about that. Vamps on stuff, you know?
00:54:12
Speaker
you're right about that cook you're right about that you all you're also right about that know what point for house guests what uh what was that point for it doesn't have dane cook the best part about dane cook well two best parts about dane cook one got me laid oh nice because the girl i dated for a while was huge fan of dane cook so was she like 14 because if not he was not a big fan of her No, no, no. We were both like 19. Way too old for him.
00:54:41
Speaker
Her name was Dana Cook. Dana Cookie. And two in waiting. He's very funny. He has two lines, I think. But it's welcome to Thunderdome, bitch.
00:54:51
Speaker
And you know what? It's funny. A possible third, because I'm going make you watch it. It's a movie called Simon Says, where he plays second to a leading man known as Dennis Rodman. I did not know he was in Simon Says. that's That's a thing.
00:55:03
Speaker
It's a movie I've owned more than once. You know, you if you buy it physically, you only have to own it once. No, not when you lose it. Oh, okay. Because you let somebody borrow it, and instead of returning it, they said that's the worst thing I've seen, and they broke it. Does that really happen? Yeah. God, that's awesome.
00:55:20
Speaker
i would be I would be infuriated because most of these are the worst thing you've ever seen. But this was also like fucking $5 Walmart DVD. nor i feel that happened to my Suicide Club Suicide Circle DVD. I lent it to a coworker recently and she was just like, oh, I couldn't even. And I'm like, well, fucking bring it back then. Oh, no, I couldn't even have it in house. No, I actually used it to try to kill myself. I broke we miss it. Yeah, you misunderstood. I went across the street instead of down. It's in evidence.
00:55:49
Speaker
But we meet ah Phil Hartman's other child, Brooke, played by Kim Murphy. This is her first movie, and she didn't do a lot after this. She was small role in City of Angels. I was surprised, though, that she's... Because i I liked her, especially growing up being younger than this. I had a crush on her.
00:56:04
Speaker
Yeah. You know, she's that fucking pale goth dommy mommy. Yeah. And it sounds weird to say now that I'm older than this character, but you know what I'm saying. At the time, you weren't. At the time, I wasn't. And you were also a little young to be...
00:56:15
Speaker
excited by dummy mommies. Recovering Catholic. Well, I've taught active Catholic. Active Catholic. Before we get to Brooke, when they were walking in, Phil Hartman trips on the skateboard and like slips and slides. He's like, how many times have I asked you to clean this damn thing up?
00:56:30
Speaker
um A lot, I think. How many times? Probably several, maybe. and that comes right after That comes right after we meet Brooke, but I took note because I was like, if this doesn't... if that No, you're good, because i was like, if this doesn't make three, I'm going to be fucking fear infuriated. and it does. We get the three. So at least they did that.
00:56:46
Speaker
But I called it. He slipped on it that first time, and I was like... That's coming back. Sinbad slips on it later, i think. Was it Sinbad? Or one of the... When he's leaving. Sinbad does, and I think one of the fucking thugs do. well then And then i was like I was like, it's coming back a third time. I told Whitney, and she's like, I'll bet you one of the goons slips on it.
00:57:03
Speaker
Both of them slip it. That was the third. Okay. so Sorry, that was at the school. No, Brooke is with ST3-Eight. yeah And he is doing have a form of Neo-Ebonics, Vanilla Ice for sure. look but like oh this is This is Jamie Kennedy from Malibu's Most Wanted. Because he's doing he's doing like what he thinks black people sound like.
00:57:25
Speaker
And it is just this like butter biscuits, baby. What the people on the peeps and we're trying to creep the streets. Well, and later on when Sinbad gets in his face, he's like, you're not from the hood. So like try stop talking like that. i do love the the funniest thing. I think that Sinbad said in this whole movie was right here, though, because when he's leaving after they meet ST3 and Brooke, he's like, hey, stay tan.
00:57:48
Speaker
States. Yeah. I'll start saying that. And then that guy, by the way, played by a dude named Kevin Jordan. He has not done like one other thing. And he directed some movies that no one ever heard of. And the only other thing he's in is one of those movies called Smiling Fish and Goat on Fire.
00:58:06
Speaker
How long is that movie? I'm not sure, but it was four years after this. We might want to watch it for research because that name alone is. Well, 1999, name like that, a draw an actor who was in one movie and nothing else.
00:58:18
Speaker
It's definitely like your late 90s trying to ride the indie boom. It's probably yeah got a really morose soundtrack. I'm not a bad actor. I'm just an in independent artist. Yeah, exactly. It's probably awful. you could be both.
00:58:29
Speaker
But then they then they go to Phil Hartman's big old ah Home Alone house. And that's the skateboard. Uh-huh. And then we meet his wife played by ah Gary Busey, I think.
00:58:42
Speaker
Kim Greased. Thank you very much. Oh, sorry. I just got these giant teeth and this weird nose and my wonky ass eyes. You gotta put some respect on Kim Greased. Do I? Yeah. why ah Let me just list.
00:58:53
Speaker
Let me tell you. Let me count the ways. Okay. Chud. Jesus Christ. Brazil. oh Man Hunter. ah Homeward Bound. okay Put some respect on Kim Grease. okay That's about it, by the way i'm sorry only one i've seen I'm sorry that she looks exactly like Gary Busey, dressed in drag, thinned up.
00:59:13
Speaker
and I am sorry that I ever said something like that. Did nobody else catch that? I did not think that, no. But I also know her well. Those are three, well, four movies that I love, but three that I've seen recently. In the slap montage, there was a short-haired woman punching somebody.
00:59:30
Speaker
What are the chances that was Cyndia Rothrock? It was not, I don't think. Okay. Because I figured you would have clocked it yeah right away. i might have been writing down slap montage, but I don't think. I just saw somebody with short hair punching. I guess it wasn't like a good judo punch. It was just a punch.
00:59:46
Speaker
Yeah, go now I'm going to have to go back and look. Let's watch it again. From the top. I'm going to watch that scene and that's it. um No, no. I love this movie. So and we find out that Derek is a vegetarian.
01:00:02
Speaker
ah He's like full on vegan, me thinks. Yeah. Because soy milk. Papaya. No nacho cheese. So he can't have cheese. Yeah. Because he dips into this fucking parsnip, whatever, horrendous soup thing that they're making.
01:00:15
Speaker
And he's like, I thought it was nacho cheese. Yeah. i I don't like that. But I did like his other the the oatmeal clusters look great. That breakfast actually looks really good. Yeah. Like oatmeal and papaya. I'm not trying to shame anybody, but Sinbad, you can use that breakfast every and He was actually on a diet while they were making this movie. It was one of the IMDB fun facts. Okay, that's a fun fact. So the burgers that he was eating were all turkey burgers. Nice.
01:00:39
Speaker
Yeah. It's a diet. read that too. And he's like attacking them when he's like sitting on the bridge and gets the Big Mac. He's like, I have never heard anyone breathe and eat at the same time so well. He goes in for but he goes,
01:00:50
Speaker
Well, it's because you have to. It's a turkey burger. It's a little tough. yeah Yeah. This movie makes me very happy. I do like, though, when he's he's quizzing the little girl. He's like, what else did daddy say about me? What did tell you about me? But then it's like, what do I do for a living? You're a, hey, Sarah, you're going to have to go. Hey, Sarah, it's time for ballet.
01:01:11
Speaker
I mean, I'll give you any excuse for a Gary. Eat your yogurt. um My carrot's a little tough. Can you slice him? We don't slash carrots in this house. We jump on them like this.
01:01:22
Speaker
I will cut them into strips. Did you want me to zest that lemon?
01:01:31
Speaker
And this is another one of those. Hey, don't forget. You want to dress nice for the thing. The thing. Just up for the thing. And I told Whitney when he grabs the one bag, they're leaving the airport. and There's like, don't you have any luggage? Oh, yeah. one I was like, why the fuck would you grab the one bag? That's clearly a suit bag. This has at most one garment.
01:01:50
Speaker
Yeah, it's a garment bag. And I told her and I was wrong. There was still a joke about it, but i was like, the joke's gonna be the suits too small. Ooh, I would have thought I was thinking too. Cause Sinbad's fucking like six five You know what we would do? Now you put it it as a dress.
01:02:05
Speaker
Sinbad and a dress. That's what Whitney said. She's like, it's a dress. I was like, no nope, nope, nope. Sinbad 1995. This is a too small suit. Mm-hmm. But black guy in a little suit.
01:02:16
Speaker
It's actually just a funeral suit. I can't remember the... This must be like the discount. GFH. GFH. This must be the discount version. Getting fucking high. You go a funeral parlor and you're like, well, can't afford a suit. And they're like, well, we can sell you this one. It's cheaper, but it's branded. It's loner. So everybody- actually a tear away. So right before we close the coffin, we just ripped the suit right off. Everybody at the funeral gets to see our logo on your dead family member. This funeral has been sponsored by McDonald's.
01:02:44
Speaker
We can put a little golden arch right on the crest here. They didn't give us any money, but they sponsored us i wanted to I wanted to write some of these down. We're sponsoring them. It was fast fire. Like, it was rapid fire.
01:02:55
Speaker
But he's got all these different things for what GFH stands for. And I thought it was going to come to something. Greg's freaking hot. ah Girls... What? What the hell Girls fuck Hawaiians.
01:03:06
Speaker
I can't remember any of them right now. I'm freaking hard. Why is Sidman from Boston all this time? fingered, Harry.
01:03:16
Speaker
Go fuck her.
01:03:20
Speaker
ah we do What are you doing later? GFH. I'm getting fucking home. I don't care how, but I'm getting there. We do get to meet Jeffrey Jones. Unfortunately not, RIP. Yeah, that's the one you want to be dead. Right?
01:03:32
Speaker
it's It's a shame because he's he was such and is probably still a good character actor, well i mean which is what makes it sting. look I wrote down a bunch for him because it's like it's... it's Stuff like build our childhoods and a little bit beyond. But like we've already referenced Ferris Bueller, Beetlejuice. What's eating Harry Crumbs? Stay tuned. some people, Howard the Duck. Mom and Dad Save the World.
01:03:53
Speaker
Devil's Advocate. He's in a bunch of shit. And then he came out as a fucking pederast. So like he said he came out. That's called getting caught. Well, that's what I mean. um you probably He was revealed as. know if you looked at acting credits, but the last thing really was Deadwood movie.
01:04:08
Speaker
And there was only like one thing in between Deadwood the series and Deadwood movie because of all the shit He was in some movie called Earthquake 10.0. Okay. I didn't see the first two. The first time?
01:04:24
Speaker
But like, yeah, I mean, he got to be, some people have brought him back for movies, but you got to assume that the people bringing him into those movies means it's a movie you don't want to watch. Yeah, he's going to do the new Weinstein movie. He did one called Who's Your Caddy, which is like the modern-ish knockoff of Caddyshack. So, you know. ah Wait, are you shagging out in it? youre Who's your who's your who's your shaggy? Shaggy?
01:04:47
Speaker
You're trying to spoof Caddyshack a comedy. I don't know. I never saw it. I never saw it and I probably never will unless we just get real desperate. I got idea for a parody movie. We make fun of hot shots and all the things that they make fun of. We make fun of that.
01:05:01
Speaker
We're going to parody the parody. Just make a really serious movie. That's what you're doing. We're going to get Tom Cruise to play Charlie Sheen's character, but he's going to be really good at flying, and he's going to be ah like in the top of the top, the best of the best.
01:05:14
Speaker
and he'll He'll go to a ah program called like Top Pilot, Top top Wing. will We'll get it. We're close, man. We'll get it. real close. And then the next month, someone's like, hey, Top Gun Maverick is coming out. He's like fuck, they stole it.
01:05:29
Speaker
It was right there. ah But yeah, so fuck Jeffrey Jones. Yeah. He does have some funny moments in this movie. He was good. he always he always He always is. That's what sucks. So yeah, he's just a garbage human.
01:05:44
Speaker
You know what? we need to send him to try to go go negotiate peace between Russia and Ukraine. i think it's a good idea. Fuck yeah. But like send him to do it. they have In person. Yeah.
01:05:54
Speaker
Go there. Yeah, go there. Go talk to the president of Ukraine, whose name I'm not going to to butcher. I wouldn't either. Is it Zelensky? Yeah. Go in there with ah you know a Russian flag suit.
01:06:06
Speaker
You know what, though? Russia might take him. Russia might take him. well they look They've got Steven Seagal. Yeah. He's a known rapist. So you're saying sex basements are legal here? Bring Ackroyd to play Zelensky Auto Parts, Zelensky, and talk to him. I make Ukrainian weapons because that's who I am and that's what I care about.
01:06:24
Speaker
I hope those people are okay. um But this is where he finally figures out that he's a dentist because someone straight up tells him he's a dentist. Well, they say DDS. Uh-huh. Oh, no, you don't use that once you're out of school. doing dumb shit?
01:06:38
Speaker
I'm DDS all night until, like, GFH. um You figure it out. p q I'm a VIP keeping the cutie. It's a montage of him at the party jla making a fool of himself, but no one seems to think it's weird.
01:06:52
Speaker
but They love it. I do kind of like the wine scene. like Not the Weinstein. why Nobody likes that. I love the wine scene. The guy, Kevin West, who's playing this guy, Vincent Montgomery. He is Biodome. He's the guy that's obsessed with butterflies. Yeah, he's in Super Mario Brothers. He's another little... This is the definition of a character actor. Yeah. We've got ones like Jeffrey Jones and stuff who are character actors, but they get to star or second in things. Tobo.
01:07:22
Speaker
Yeah, most of this guy's credits are like technician, you know lawyer, intern. Pervert 3. Yeah. Unnamed, but still... Always a pervert. He looks like um he could play, if we're revamping twins, him and Stanley Tucci.
01:07:38
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And sorry to him, but Stanley Tucci. And then the backup would be the shorter ah Italian mobster. oh Oh, okay. You say looks like Arnold Schwarzenbeger.
01:07:50
Speaker
Sorry, sorry. He is an athlete. But he does this guy. They they say that that Derek is a an onophile. I'm like, first of all, ain't nobody ever heard that word.
01:08:02
Speaker
Onophile makes it sound like you want fuck something. Yeah. don't just Just don't use file. Yeah, file. yeah file Go file yourself. ah I mean, you can say cinephile, but even that sounds like you like movies. Cinephile sounds like you're hard.
01:08:15
Speaker
It sounds like you jerk off to kids. No, cinephile sounds like. The movie kids. Which is also children, but I wanted to clarify. In the 90s, we did wild things, all right? Yeah, dude, after that, it's a low-down dirty shame.
01:08:31
Speaker
But this guy actually is like a wine critic, and i just it's it's one of those stupid... You don't want to smell the cork. You don't want to look at the legs and the bouquet. And I like his performance because he's doing like the real deep, weird quivers. He turns it into sex. like He's sniffing deep and like shuddering, and he's sniffing, and he's like, Oh, I love... Full body, long legs, voluptuous hair...
01:08:55
Speaker
Sounds like you need a woman. Yeah. And then it goes into the like, look at how cool Black Sinbad makes all these stuff shirt white people cut loose. You know what? Just drink out of the bottle. Yeah. it and It's the wine guy who's like, he does it. And then she's a brick house. Gives us another montage. I'm sure ties on foreheads. I didn't even pay attention. There's lampshades on heads later. There are 45 seconds between party montage and wine montage. A fact you like or hate.
01:09:25
Speaker
If this was the I'd like it more. I don't know. It's getting a little heavy at this point. This is around the time where I'm like, don't like There's priest female's hat. You got Jeffrey Jones putting fake grapes inside of people's wine glasses. It's no like how high montage though. It's not quite the best stoner comedy ever. Whitney thought she saw someone mixing drugs in with their wine and I was like, oh, that was Jeffrey Jones. It's because he's like, duy he he went to he went to the daughter and he's like, you could try a little. Oh, God.
01:09:50
Speaker
Can't even make fun of that. I can't. there He was distributing it something at some point, and I felt, I was like, oh, no, don't drink that.
01:09:58
Speaker
Well, he's also a dentist. Why is there a lollipop on your business card? Nope. nope
01:10:09
Speaker
That's exactly what that needed. Move on. So the wine montage is fucking over. The dog is hung over on the couch. I love this dog. i do like the dog getting drunk because then the dog becomes an alcoholic, which is which is funny. What's his name? Carl?
01:10:23
Speaker
Carl. Carl. Which I'm against animals with human names for the most part, unless you have like a... Unless he drinks, then it's cool. Call him Carl. He needs to have like a rank or something. admiral Admiral Carl. Major Carl. I like that.
01:10:37
Speaker
That sounds fun. um And then we have an awkward breakfast scene ah because like they have this gift for Sinbad. He's starting to feel bad about taking advantage these people. Hi, Spido's dogs. The second I saw you. phil Hartman's got my gift, by the way. Just eyeballing people's feet.
01:10:53
Speaker
15 and a half wide. He's like, I worked at a shoe store. I'm like, sure you did. I volunteered. Yeah. They never paid me. I showed up. alandy Al Bundy hired me. All I had to do was massage his wife's feet.
01:11:06
Speaker
Oh, Peg. Hey, Peg, hit him with one. but Ow. But like they signed him up for this 5K charity run. ah The little kid squints is like, you play b-ball?
01:11:18
Speaker
And I'm like, stop. no no Never say b-ball. Stop it. No one should ever say b-ball. ever This kid is going to be damaged anyway because his dad's like, you're going to go pro. He's not tall.
01:11:30
Speaker
He's just not tall. Muggsy Bogues being five three. Steve would disagree. is Steve Nash is six foot two. Yeah, he's short for a basketball player. This kid's short for a person. That's what I'm saying. He hasn't hit his growth spurt Like six foot two. I feel tall in most normal society.
01:11:46
Speaker
And six foot two is ah probably on the lower end of a basketball player's average height. All right This kid has almost no chance. i just remember seeing. I don't know basketball. is You guys know I don't know sports, right? dude You got what?
01:11:58
Speaker
Spud. You got Spud Webb was five foot six. McKenzie. Spud Webb was five foot six. And you've got Muggsy Bogues was five foot three. That is an outlier. Those are fucking outliers.
01:12:09
Speaker
This kid's almost as good as Muggsy Bogues. How dare you? I think this kid is why I thought I could play basketball in 95. I'm pretty sure. All right. Okay. Right. We're I love the backwards hat because you know you mean business with the backwards hat.
01:12:25
Speaker
But like the the parents are having a shouting match. It's all very awkward. is This is family breakfast at every house I've ever lived in. This is the first time sitting Including when I live with them. I was one shouting. This is you guys hanging out here while we're trying to set up the podcast.
01:12:40
Speaker
And Whitney just won't agree with everything I say. Yeah, no, it's definitely Whitney's fault for just not agreeing with everything you say. Yeah, right. It's 2025. She's a woman. I don't know what else needs to be said. Yeah, if this was 2019. Don't throw that at me. If this was 2019, I'd have to agree with her, but the world's changed. 2019, you get compromised.
01:12:58
Speaker
Yeah, this is 1953 again. Yeah. Welcome to Nazi Germany in America. Just kidding. when we get the second slipping on the skateboard thing. This is Sinbad this time. He leaves and slips on it. He's like, Jason, and just like puts it back up. He doesn't get all pissed off like Phil Hartman. Yeah. well it's his first time, not his sixth or seventh or multiple times.
01:13:19
Speaker
And then, dude, this just hurt my soul. He goes to McDonald's. He orders like 15 sandwiches. Dude, I knew this going to hurt your soul, and I wanted to look up what this would cost, but a couple these things don't exist. The McLean not exist. Yeah, I don't know.
01:13:33
Speaker
But like the first time he orders, yours i think it's like five sandwiches, large Coke and a large fry. I'm going to go back after you get done. And it's $10.87. Uh-huh. And then he realized he doesn't have that much. Which so is an absurdly cheap price for what he just fucking yeah ordered. So he orders a quarter pounder with cheese, large Coke, large fry, $4.07.
01:13:52
Speaker
I did look up how much a large fry costs right now. $4.59. $5.59.
01:13:59
Speaker
What's a soda? Probably like $4, $3? I think they do the still do the $1 soda thing. They were doing that for a while. All sodas are $1. now you got a soda and fry. Your quarter pounder is $9. So now I got a soda and a fry, and got about $6.
01:14:10
Speaker
Yeah. Cool. And then you add your quarter pounder, and that's $16. then you add your cheese, and that's $19. I already said how much I love how excited he gets when he sees his McDonald's. The music is perfect. It's him skipping, and he's so happy.
01:14:24
Speaker
But when he walks in and that girl is just like, I might help you. Yes, you may. It is good sin batting. Yes. Okay. So Whitney sent me a text. The McLean Deluxe was a real sandwich that McDonald's briefly marketed as a healthier alternative to its regular menu. it was removed from the menu in 1996.
01:14:43
Speaker
What's the McDLT? ah
01:14:49
Speaker
Dong lettuce tomato. Yeah. Yeah. um Dong length testicles. Those are long testicles. Depends on the dong. It's fair.
01:15:03
Speaker
Never mind. Just get a visual. Like little tiny marbles. Just three marbles.
01:15:12
Speaker
This is terrible episode. One of them got a sleeve over it. um But anyway. what just felt.
01:15:23
Speaker
cocktail straw everywhere i go but yeah so he does oversee steve st3 macking on some other girl he's a fucking like uh what's the dylan the dylan from uh entourage kevin kevin dylan kevin dylan it's a shitty young kevin dylan what is it because he's the third he's something something the third so sd three He might be, because he we do find out he's the son of a senator or something that.
01:15:55
Speaker
So yeah, ST3, because he's probably Stephen Thomas III. Now, the next thing did make me laugh. I mean, I don't think I laughed out loud, but internally I laughed. This old man at the bus station. Oh, I laugh laughed out loud at this. I love it. just Just doesn't give a fuck. He is working at his own pace, and no matter what Sinbad says. Sinbad walks in, he's like, hey, how you doing? The guy just stares at him, he's like,
01:16:18
Speaker
Sorry, I thought I missed something. Are you just going to stand there? How far can I get for $1.33? It's like a half a mile. And he's like, fine, I'll just take one of those scratchers. And the guy's just like, whoop don't move too slow now or too fast now. Don't hurt yourself.
01:16:29
Speaker
Easy. Easy. All right. There we go. Hand it over. where I'm waiting. This is going to take much longer now. It was all ripped terribly, too. There were like shreds of paper. Come on, guy. Taking your time. it doesn't give a fuck.
01:16:44
Speaker
He hope it makes your fucking scratcher invalid. And as soon as this happened, I was like, okay, so the movie ends with Sinbad's scratcher being worth enough money to solve the problem.
01:16:56
Speaker
Big spin. big But it turns out it's not. So I just love that he's... We'll get there. Because the ending doesn't make any sense. Um, but so the mob guys find him again.
01:17:07
Speaker
They chase him and he gets picked up by Phil Hartman because they're supposed to go play golf. And I just love that Phil Hartman is like, huh? I wonder where my friend Derek went. I guess I'll go drive through this neighborhood. This like lower income neighborhood to find him. think he assumed he went for a jog because that's it. He's supposedly training for 4k DVD anywhere near his house.
01:17:28
Speaker
He would. He's training for a 4k. It's probably four kilometers away. Wouldn't that make sense? yeah
01:17:37
Speaker
32K. Can't wait to get there. Future looks good. i They have a little pro shop montage of trying on clothes. Which I love. right Dude, Phil Hartman dancing to slightly bad hip hop all day.
01:17:51
Speaker
This is the point where I was just like, all right, I'm out. they No, yeah, try this hat on. No, it doesn't look good. Put it backwards. Now cross your arms and backwards hat like Robin Williams does in Mrs. Doubtfire. Cool.
01:18:02
Speaker
Playing clubs as guitars. Yes! Clubs as guitars! It's never been done! No one saw it coming!
01:18:12
Speaker
I do like the drunk boss, Mr. Pike. Oh, yeah. They they're like go play golf. He's like, oh, sorry we're late. He's like, there's fire. It's time for more blood and marriage. Hey, what's happening? Three BMs, please. And I was like, order that differently.
01:18:24
Speaker
He is the grandfather in son-in-law, either Bottles or James. Which one are you, dude? Can I whittle some whittles? Please, let me whittle. He's also, I think he's the the headmaster or whatever they would call it in Toy Soldiers.
01:18:37
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, it makes sense. Is there movie called Touch? That's a pretty cool Paul Schrader movie. But I love how this guy's playing his shit racism right off the way. he's like, slap me five, brother. And he's slap you. i like this boy. Boy. fuck And then, hey, Poncho. Dude, I'm pretty sure it's Paco. Poncho, Paco, who cares as long as the drinks are strong? Wrap him up, Poncho, on your way.
01:18:59
Speaker
This club is running itself really poorly if your bartender is also playing caddy. Yeah. yeah You are not. You are youre at the low budget club. Mm-hmm. Sinbad deserves better than this, guys. And this guy is played by Mason Adams. Okay. By the way. Let's give the guy credit. It's two people?
01:19:15
Speaker
Mace and Adams? Mace and Adams. Okay. They do a good job. Mace Windu and Adams and like- Old people have the same rule as young people. You can't on camera so long. Yeah. So they hire a lot of twins. Yeah.
01:19:27
Speaker
Yeah, you can only work six hours a day. Oh, he's getting sleepy. The sun's down. We have to wrap up. Too many BMs. Too many BMs. Too many BMs. Too many BMs make him sleep. He's saying off script racist stuff now. Put him in his box. He had too many BMs. He's racist and sleepy.
01:19:44
Speaker
We got to get him offset. He actually had like very ah wholesome lines. They got him drunk. Hey, Pancho. Sim Black. That's not the line. Keep rolling, Sim Black. Keep rolling. This is terrible. Why is he calling Sinbad Poncho?
01:19:58
Speaker
i He just asked Jeffrey Jones for his Dropbox. yeah Jeffrey, Jeffrey, you ever bet on...
01:20:10
Speaker
Excuse me. Jeremy Jones. You ever been on a plane? I have this friend, jeff Jeff. He's also a Jeff. How do you feel about islands? He's one of those Jewish guys. But ah Jeffrey Epstein, he's he's got an island.
01:20:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah? would love it. Why would I love it? ah Look, jeff Jeffrey. Jeffrey, I'm to meet you Jeffrey. You can call me Jeff. Children's Island. Okay.
01:20:33
Speaker
Children's Island? It belongs to children? It's like Pinocchio. ah go on. But with more sex. i unless You must be lying because something's growing. i hope this plane crashes right now. i hope that we die in a bloody crash on the way to this island.
01:20:49
Speaker
ah Ah, dreams. Move on. But he do find out about the new client for this whatever advertising firm or whatever it is that Phil Hartman works for. um And it it's and ah ah yogurt meadow another company that wants to start a yogurt shop. We didn't mention his wife has started a very successful chain of frozen yogurt. Because I don't like ice cream. I like yogurt, but i like it nice and cold.
01:21:11
Speaker
i got this idea when I put a bunch of Yoplait in the freezer. chewed it up. I gnawed it off. It was funny when we got revealed that she owns a bunch of these. She's got 35 of these silly little things. she's franchising them all. it' is It's such a good Phil Hartman. It's top-notch feel-goodery.
01:21:31
Speaker
But that's kind of like, aside from the mafia thing, that's the other conflict of the movie is that he's representing supposed to be representing this other company. It does come up right here, and then it kind of goes away until the the end for a bit because we are we're middle mafia sandwich here. Yeah.
01:21:46
Speaker
um This is where we do get Jeffrey Jones talking talking about washing his balls. Yeah. Yep. Just unzip your bag. Let me wash your balls. Not not why i have this fucking stick you won't. I like them so clean that feel all the dimples.
01:21:59
Speaker
And it's I don't think it's Sinbad being homophobic. I think it's Sinbad like you're a weird dude. Yeah. Okay. yeah I got a vibe off you. Yeah. I have this stick and I want to beat you with it, but there's cameras rolling, so I won't.
01:22:12
Speaker
When you sent me that Irish twins video, i was expecting something different. I find it much easier to get in the hole when the balls are clean. is what I've noticed. You got to get that stick and get it in there. Get the hell away from me.
01:22:27
Speaker
um Then we have Sinbad sees the the mafia guys are here. because they're here with the Miller miss Smiths, Miller Smiths, Miller Smiths, Miller Smiths, Oh, you know the Miller Smiths. And he's like, hey, you guys, this whole golf thing is fucking stupid. Let's play speed golf. Oh, heard of that. It's very much like the wine scene. It's like, let's get these white people to you know step out of their comfort zone. Yeah, and unbutton that top button and chill the fuck out. And we got to do a lot of double film speed in this. Yeah. lot of Well, we just learned how to do that. i was waiting for...
01:22:56
Speaker
yeah You can't afford Jackety Sax on $10.5 million dollar budget. I'm pretty sure you can. probably can. i mean, it's probably public domain at this point.
01:23:07
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's fine. We're moving along faster, so I'm not too upset by it. um guess we don't have too much comedy until the crash um we do have the uh yeah i did like the the quick line where he's like uh the mobsters go flying by i think it's pike that's like or not ah not pike um it's phil hartman it's like oh must be some other guys playing speed golf yeah Oh, my God. It's catching on. and Look at that. but yeah They're playing with shotguns. That's the Hunter S. Thompson speed golf. you could Drive by the ball and shoot it. when you yeah He did shotgun golf. Shotgun golf was something that Hunter S. Thompson did, guarantee he did speed before. Oh, yeah. so
01:23:48
Speaker
Speed golf. hunt He was still alive. Trademarked. Yeah, he was probably doing speed.
01:23:53
Speaker
ah But yeah, the old man Pike falls out of the golf cart and breaks a tooth. It's a good just. Yeah, the stud man here does a great job of just beefing it out of this fucking cart. Love a racist getting hurt, by the way. and then they go to do the, they have to go with, they pull the tooth and Sinbad apparently never learned to read. It's Sinbad and Jeffrey Jones doing a pissing contest, kind of. Yeah. Or Jeffrey Jones is pissing.
01:24:17
Speaker
Like, oh, why don't you take a look? You're the expert. Yeah. No, I don't want to operate here. i don't want license. But that you get like the. oh woof this man needs a tic-tac somebody please help me and jeffrey jones gets in there yeah he's not wrong but like they go to the the den the jeffrey jones dentist's office and sinbad washes his hands with novocaine topical novocaine because he's never learned how to read he thought i'd be funny he did it for you gonna make you laugh don't know. This scene just didn't work for me. It was like the surprise visit, of course, from like the guy who taught Derek Bonds his dentistry stuff.
01:24:53
Speaker
And Sinbad's just flapping his arms around. So the dentist guy's seen him in less than 25 years. Yeah. And the only thing he says is put on a little weight. Not like, oh, man, you're cool now. You have an earring, goatee. Put on a little weight and brew a foot and a half.
01:25:08
Speaker
I can see you got big dick energy in those mostly gray sweatpants. Your ass is on your shoulders. Yeah. Your ass is actually at my eye level. It's really weird. It's like it's winking at me.
01:25:19
Speaker
i did like the the hand scene because he's just- think this point I was just checked out of sin badness. It's narration where he's just like, get don't be afraid to get to know your tools. you know just I'd like to take a moment to just touch my tools. floy And when he's touching him, he's like, just let him know you're here for him. I'm here for you.
01:25:36
Speaker
And then he steps on the thing and then pops. But like successfully pulls the tooth. Yeah, because not that hard. that The fumbling on pulled out two the things is almost too much, though. like I lost him last month. Last month, dude, we should have recorded last month. He was singing its fucking praise.
01:25:53
Speaker
I think I just burnt out on the sin badness of it all at this point. I guess it's my sin bad because I never will. um I watched lot Sinbad movies when I was a kid, but they all had claymation. I don't remember being a black dude. Move on from that. yeah and No.
01:26:10
Speaker
i had seen Cherokee Kid for the first time recently. Cherokee Kid. And think if I did that again, i would still like that. I think he could hold that as a lead. He does? This is slipping. It's not. You're slipping. My 90s colored glasses are getting lighter. Maybe two times in less than 30 days is too often. yes.
01:26:28
Speaker
It was like a once every 10 year. But man, that last month we watched it was so good. It meant something to us. um He's hanging out with Phil Hartman. Phil Hartman's eating this Big Mac and just waving it around front of Sinbad and shit. Love scene. is when he gives it and just eats and he's like,
01:26:44
Speaker
I just need fucking meat, man. Yeah, I have weaknesses. Phil Harbin, know, he's like, dude, good. Because you've been helping out throughout this whole thing. Like he took the daughter to the ah ballet. He teaches the boy how to play basketball. Well, that comes up right next.
01:26:59
Speaker
Oh, okay. That's right after the scene. But he's been just too perfect. Yeah. And he's like, dude, I'm just happy you're not fucking actually a god. Like Poseidon. Because this is when he goes back and Phil phil Hartman's like, I got to go to work and everyone's all pissy about it because he was telling everybody this is the day we all spend together. ah um So they put Sinbad in charge of watching the kids and he the mobsters are there, of course. So he has Jason drive the car and the girls are in the back just laughing. and I'm like, these girls would be just caress the wheel like you would if it was a woman. Not like a pervert.
01:27:32
Speaker
I've never caressed a woman. You don't caress women. You don't drive. What do you do? It's a valid question. ah So, yeah, after the after he Fury roads them to the fucking park here, he's he drops off Jason. He's like, here's some change just in case the car breaks down. because He's about to abandon this kid. Oh, yeah.
01:27:51
Speaker
at this park he's out of this movie with this Volvo yeah um but the big kids are picking on Jason and Sinbad can't have any part of that no so he comes over and gives him a little pe pep talk we're gonna play basketball out of these kids two to five I need my shoes and a bag of groceries because I am gonna school them yeah yeah I like the basketball scene, except for it's a little weird that you wagered their clothes.
01:28:17
Speaker
As a fully grown man, you wagered kids' clothing. Well, it was Jeffrey Jones that asked him for a favor. He's like, I don't need to see them. I just need their underwear. Sinbad's like, well, I'm not taking their underwear, but I'll take everything else. Oh, God.
01:28:33
Speaker
ah Move on. um The wife, Emily, finds out about the Beaver Meadows thing and she gets all mad. That's the other frozen yogurt company. I can't have competition in this town.
01:28:46
Speaker
They do have Sinbad go up and talk to Brooke because she's all like, you know My parents hate me, and she's she loves her dead poets. Yeah, her bedroom is all dead poets, and I'm i'm not talking about the society. ah Like Plath and fucking Poe and all the other ones. It's like a half-goth bedroom.
01:29:03
Speaker
it's like It's got the pink... like flowery wallpaper but she just like painted wherever she's gonna put so she's new so she's new to the goth like this is a this is a post just paint the whole puberty thing this is like all right well i'm now I'm a goth chick and I love gonna piss your parents off go all out yeah paint the whole room black she hasn't been there yet she's not she hasn't gotten there yet she's she's on her way it's such a privileged room too it is like fucking encyclopedias everywhere I think of watching movies with ah Bleep's wife where she's like, imagine having a life so bad with two parents.
01:29:35
Speaker
Look at that. Imagine having a life so bad in this beautiful house. Yeah, I think it was The Craft. The girl who's getting bullied or one of them just goes and jumps on her big, beautiful bed in her room like, oh, my life's so bad. at my amazing dad. Oh, I got two parents that love me in gorgeous bed with 14 pillows.
01:29:51
Speaker
Get over it. um but uh this is what she tells him like i know steve's been with this other girl and he doesn't love me anymore and he's like man fuck that dude she's like yeah you kill him dude you kill him for me it is such a good line because i forgot about it and he's giving her advice like dude you're a good looking girl the girls that i know wouldn't take this shit and she's like yeah or you can kill him for me like whoa hey okay you're joking right right you Are you joking? Yes.
01:30:20
Speaker
I feel like you want me to say yes. I think you're joking. You know what? We're going to leave on this note because you are joking and I'm out of here. That was going to be an alternate scene in case they wanted to leave him on the wrong train track. Dude, cut to Sid Bat, just braining him on the fucking railroad. Ah!
01:30:38
Speaker
He knows the train is going to change tracks, but he just shoves them out right at the last second in front of the other track. ah The mobsters come to the house and this little girl is watching this with Godzilla cartoon or whatever. And she is so into this monster murdering people.
01:30:51
Speaker
Yeah. And these guys keep interrupting. And she's like, what the fuck do you want? And then she takes the gun from this dude. Like, mommy says you shouldn't play with guns. And it's Sinbad, instead of. What he should have done is be like, oh, well, she took the gun. I better run up there. He's sitting back there like, yeah, take that gun.
01:31:06
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Here's a little girl with gun that has no fucking trigger awareness or muzzle awareness. This gun is half the size of this little girl.
01:31:17
Speaker
It's fine. We get the skateboard payoff. What state is this? Pennsylvania. Penn. Oh, she knows how to use a gun. This is fucking not big city, Pennsylvania. oh she's She's been to like a Phillies game. so as She knows how to throw a battery at Santa. Her dad taught her, her dad taught her like okay, look, you got to keep it here. You keep your hand off of it unless you need it.
01:31:38
Speaker
Now, if the Eagles lose, you fire that gun into the air like this. If they win, you also fire that gun. You switch hands and you fire the gun like this. Left hand lose, right hand win. They haven't started greasing the poles yet, so climb up the pole.
01:31:52
Speaker
The trick is... They haven't doused all the cars in storefronts with water yet. Light a small fire. Family tradition, you gotta get blackout drunk on grain alcohol.
01:32:05
Speaker
Wait, Mark Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg from Philadelphia. This just in. Eagles win. Oh, no. They wooze. I just found out Mark Wahlberg is in a movie called The Substitute.
01:32:17
Speaker
And I saw the poster and I thought it was a like a Photoshopped fake poster. And then I read the thing and I was like, oh, this is a real movie. Is it a remake of The Substitute? Do we know? before that substitute. What? I can't remember the actress he's with, but she's like.
01:32:31
Speaker
I think she's like trying to bang kids. Okay. I don't know. And he's undercover or no? I don't know. Okay. It was the first thing he did after. Dude, it just hit him all rocked up. Yo, dude, I'm going to go fucking undercover. I'm going play nine-year-old. Look at this.
01:32:43
Speaker
Hey, I'm all fucking little young. What's it like when your balls drop? Let me know. I'm looking forward to puberty. You, sir, have a five o'clock shadow. Is there an Asian food place around here? I'm not hungry. It was a TV movie, and that's the poster. Tell me that doesn't look fake in Photoshop. No, it's fake in Photoshop.
01:33:01
Speaker
Yeah. It looks like he's supposed to be in that suit, and she's supposed to be in that tank top. You're going to have to post that. yeah You're going to have to post that. Photoshop. Oh my God. That looks awesome. um Head swapping too.
01:33:15
Speaker
But like, ah so yes, the mobsters slip on the skateboard and the dog chases them away and Sinbad goes to go meet Larry and he's like, all right, we're getting the fuck out of here for the second or third time. Yeah.
01:33:28
Speaker
And then sees the- They drive by the fucking Poseidon statue. Yeah. It couldn't be the same one. I guess it could. Yeah, because they say the beginning, they say he's an orphan in Philadelphia. so ok all right.
01:33:43
Speaker
Oh, he does. say They took me here. They took me here. Yeah. How many orphans are in Philadelphia? or You're not the only orphan in Philadelphia, but I'm the poorest one. um But he sees it and he gives this whole speech and he's like, I'm going back. And Larry's like, like I've got to help my best friend, of my oldest friend. And Larry's like, I'm your oldest friend. I know i told i didn't like you earlier, but that doesn't mean we're not friends. Hey, I get it. you know that's i've been I've been told that many a time. Oh, yeah.
01:34:09
Speaker
Dude, I have to love you, but I don't have to like you right now. Especially with you not liking house ghosts. and then we do find out real Derek sees the article of Sinbad giving the career day speech. In between him deciding to go back to the house and actually getting to the house, he also goes and meets up with Steve and does this...
01:34:26
Speaker
driving torture thing we were talking about. He jumps in this sweet ass Jeep and he drives like a maniac. This is the third scene of driving like a maniac. Fourth scene of driving like a maniac in this movie. It goes down the train tracks and basically just tells Steve like this whole thing about like you have this gourmet chicken dinner at home. Why you trying to get chicken du nuggets? Nuggets.
01:34:45
Speaker
and duda And he just tortures Steve. and Did he say McNuggets? No, he just said okay because I wouldn't be shocked. Here's though where you do the faster pace the faster pace editing and the darker music. Uh-huh. And just terror through this. Yeah, yeah he has some really dark music.
01:35:00
Speaker
He's like, you have a gourmet chicken dinner at home. Why are you going out for nuggets?
01:35:08
Speaker
Hans Zimmer to score this one. Yeah. yeah ah But yeah, he does the thing. The train's going to switch tracks. Somehow he knew that. and Or he just was like, I'm cool dying. Look, we got a 50-50 shot.
01:35:20
Speaker
He gets out of the car. Yeah. He's like, we got a 50-50 shot. Either Steve apologizes to Brooke. I want a scratcher ticket. So like are my luck is good. Yeah. he's like either either she He goes and apologized to her or I killed him. And either way, she's happy with me. And I love the ST3 is just so scared he won't even get out of the seat.
01:35:35
Speaker
He's just like, okay, I'll just sit here. Oh, he can't leave his Jeep. His pants are wet. Oh, yeah. He doesn't want to get up and let anybody see that his pants are soaked. They get to change my name to STP. I should have worn the brown pants.
01:35:47
Speaker
STP is already taken, dude. Damn. Why do you just got to go throw salt my dish? And then he also goes to Phil Hartman's work and talks to him about his kids and his wife and how he's being an asshole. I like what he says. He's like, dude, you can't. You just can't do this. There's no coming back from this.
01:36:02
Speaker
You know, like what what's going to happen if you don't fucking represent going fire you? He's like, yeah. He's like, cool. You're going less income. This is something we talked about, like maybe because we did grow up with, you know, not rich.
01:36:15
Speaker
Dude, fucking you make if if my mom had 35 yogurt stores, 35 of those silly things. I don't think that we would need a second income. Maybe downgrade your house home alone.
01:36:26
Speaker
yeah yeah you don't need to live in that house when how often do you have all 75 of your cousins and nieces and nephews over you little jerk stop buying hair grease for your oldest daughter it's wet enough it's not dude she looks just soppy she's got soppy hair what's the 90s goss look from movies yeah that's true not from real life fleshy has like 30 earrings on one ear yeah i liked it Well, he's just so insecure that he's got to add a little money to the pot. He's like, here's my $2. I'm contributing. I had $2. Your 35 stores were $2 million dollars this month.
01:37:01
Speaker
Your kids would love it if you had to stay if you could afford to have a stay-at-home parent. Well, he does the bookkeeping. So when he's kind of, he's like, well, good thing I paid the mortgage this month. We didn't see the sequel to this where he found out that she was cooking the books because she was also importing Colombian Bam Bam.
01:37:16
Speaker
Yeah. and house guest is it's a mercenary house guest 2 guest harder he's the guest harder is he holds the whole family hostage it's just violent it's called hos guest we it's crossing over with jingle all the way and it's violent night I'm in alright oh yeah what if we talked about that that's ah Phil Hartman and then Simbad there was a third that they listened but they're never on this is the only one they're on screen together and yeah yeah um But so Phil Hartman goes and quits his job, which I do like the way he does this. He walks into one of Emily's yogurt places and his boss is there.
01:37:52
Speaker
Hey, just Jerry. He just like rubs this fucking frozen yogurt in his face. And he's like, fuck you. I quit. He's been calling him Jerry, by the way. Yeah. they Just like Poncho Paco. Who cares for him? Yeah.
01:38:03
Speaker
He's like, Jerry. And even Sinbad one point is like, it's Gary. He's like, all right, let's go, Jerry. So you go they go back to the house. The mobsters are there. They have the kids and real Derek all tied up and the dog.
01:38:15
Speaker
which You got to tie the dog up. ah And then everybody else from the movie just stumbles in. Yeah, we need to. We need to. Hey, we only have with enough for one scene of closure. get i know you're supposed to be at the race. I know you're supposed to be at work.
01:38:29
Speaker
Get everybody to the house. We just don't have enough time. Get them all in. They're breaking down the McDonald's. We got to hurry up and film this. damn We got to wrap up so we can get a lean LT. Because Jeffrey Jones comes in confirming that Sinbad is not Derek.
01:38:44
Speaker
Because this is when they're like, no, this is Derek. No, this is Derek. I'm not Spartacus. No, he's not Spartacus. Sinbad does confess to the stuff. And then Steve comes bursting in to apologize.
01:38:54
Speaker
It doesn't even notice the guys with guns or that his girlfriend is tied up. i Yeah. I mean, yeah he was looking forward that. He's like, this is normal. We're finally doing this. Girl, you should just be tight.
01:39:06
Speaker
I do like when he like apologizes to her and he's like, do you forgive me? And she looks at Sinbad and he's like, fuck no. No way, no how. Uh-uh. See ya. way, no how. No way, no how. See ya. See ya.
01:39:18
Speaker
So Sinbad gets taken away by the mafia guys. Jeffrey Jones goes to run his 5K because he hasn't had a milkshake in three weeks. I'm running this. I'm running this if it kills me. And then it's the weirdest like montage of the movie.
01:39:31
Speaker
Phil Hartman goes to save Sinbad. He takes the whole family, but then he has to get out car. Because he realizes it's my oldest friend. Yeah. He's I'm your oldest friend, you boob. But like they go and they there they accidentally get into the the five k But then it's like they stop to get yogurt. They stop to eat chicken. Oh, yeah. It's the weirdest.
01:39:52
Speaker
It does it for me because he's kind of wrapping it up because he's like, if $50,000 is all it stands for me and my oldest friend, like they're sitting there, they get the yogurt because he has a cramp, and he starts talking about like how it's going to be okay. Then they're getting the chicken, and he's like, this is what you got to do. I'll help you out. You're my oldest friend.
01:40:08
Speaker
Mobsters aren't even after us. We're just having a moment. Yeah. Some fucking chicken. but they They accidentally win the race to piss Jeffrey Jones off. That was such an 80s and 90s thing, too. They're taking shortcuts through houses and all that. Don't worry. I know the family. It's like a naked gun or a Ferris wheeler.
01:40:26
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But it also, oh, I did think when they were jumping over the fences and the mobster guys are falling, I was like, what? You've never taken shortcut? You've framed little shortcut? It is.
01:40:38
Speaker
So, okay. Everybody here has been to like a ah thing at my house. It wouldn't be weird that you came to my house uninvited. it would be weird if you came through the backyard through the shrubbery.
01:40:49
Speaker
And didn't speak to anybody? Like if you just if you just like rang the doorbells like, hey, dude, we were in the neighborhood and I saw you had cars and there's a smoker was going. Sure. But for you to still walk through the backyard, you'd be like, don't worry, I know these people. Hey, Derek played a chicken. Whitney, cold one. Thank you. All right.
01:41:08
Speaker
Did Derek and Whitney just come out of your backyard? Yeah, but I know them, it's okay. Well, you did it like Phil Hartman, I'd be okay with it. All right, fair. Fair. I'd be curious why you were walking through my alley. Uh-huh.
01:41:20
Speaker
but So I'm going to get you that plate of chicken, but you owe me a story.
01:41:26
Speaker
um And then, you know, the mobsters get the scratcher ticket. And we saw earlier that Happy was watching the big spin. So he's all into it. and Because Paul is like, he he doesn't care about this lotto. Lotto.
01:41:37
Speaker
but get get Very happy. Very happy with the lotto. and then so we get to the end. ah Sinbad wrote a book that seems awful. Like, how how to be a great house guest. I'm like, well, this is all terrible advice.
01:41:49
Speaker
If this was my house guest, I wouldn't be stopping him from sneaking out. I'd be like, you have to go. Step one, kidnap them in their own car and take them on a hell ride. Step two, pretend to be someone you're not.
01:42:02
Speaker
That's step one. Sorry. Step one, pretend to get his best friend punched and pretend you're him. Step one, stealing identity. A goon moment that we missed that I really liked was the Pauly, who's the supposed to smarter one. Sorry, Mr. Ephistopolis.
01:42:17
Speaker
Who is that? He's only the world's most famous philosopher. It's just a fun delivery from Pauly. I guess we couldn't add more time on, but we didn't get the ah the moment in most 80s and 90s where Phil Hartman is like really hurt that he didn't tell him who he really was. We got us a quick moment. it was It was so fast. It was so fast. Because it's him like, oh, the mobsters are taking him away. Okay. I didn't know him anyway.
01:42:40
Speaker
Like, i'm i'm now I'm not too upset. But then then real Derek talks to him and he's like, oh, this guy's a piece of shit. that Fake Derek's nice. This guy got my wife to drink wine out of the bottle. Do you know what kind of sex we had that night? Wine out of the bottle sex.
01:42:55
Speaker
but like This is the part I mentioned earlier that doesn't make any sense. So the mobsters go on the big spin thing. They only win $5,000. Sinbad's celebrating. Those mobsters are still coming for you. That was supposedly the agreement. That was the deal. He's an honorable bookie.
01:43:08
Speaker
yeah He's a bookie with a heart of gold. Yeah, he's coming for you for that other 45,000 yuan. Yeah. Or a kneecap. And or. But I mean, I like the idea of just like, hey, that lotto ticket's worth my debt, right? Because this guy loves lotto that much.
01:43:25
Speaker
We just saw the movie Mickey 17 where the guy, the the bookie there is like, money doesn't matter to him. He just wants to watch you die in a really cool way. Yeah. That's that's this bookie. Like, money doesn't matter to me.
01:43:36
Speaker
I want to spin the big wheel. I did like the ending though. I like Sinbad and Phil Hartman standing outside grilling. We wish you a chili bird. Yeah. chi yeah It was pretty funny.
01:43:47
Speaker
I know it kept going over the credits, but i turned it off. Oh, that's a bummer. Yeah. It's fun. It's fun. Improbbing. I had stuff to do. Potato, the brown skin vegetable. Yeah. I did hear that one. it Yeah.
01:44:01
Speaker
Oh, oh Yeah, there's a couple there's a couple good ones. I can't remember right now, but that was pretty funny. So let's go. but i don't know if it was only the small town, but I liked ah whether it was a small town or out outskirts of Pittsburgh in general, where it was like kind of mountainous. So you had small little downtown, old school town, and then you had like kind of mountains right within. It was kind of cool. yeah escape It made me want to go to Pittsburgh. I didn't look up where this was filmed. I wonder if it was not Pittsburgh.
01:44:27
Speaker
I will go to Pennsylvania. Whatever the name, Salicki or whatever. Oh, okay. You know I think it might have been a real town. did read that was a real town. It's a wiki boy. That was the McDonald's factoid. And I'm guessing it's really a suburb probably five miles outside of Pittsburgh. I don't know, but I like the mountainous area. It's just kind of cool small town, that little area. With the Brugger's McDonald's.
01:44:47
Speaker
Yeah. So we'll we'll go around the horn for recommendations, and we'll start with our guest, Mr. Bleep. I do not wreck recommend this. ah Even my ninety s tinted glasses. Should have recorded last month. Do not recommend this, sadly.
01:45:03
Speaker
Jack is feeling defeated. Derek had 14 points and Jack had one. way more than one you may two points yeah i don't recommend it it just didn't hold up as much but it was fun to fucking talk about and do an episode of but well now the wild card jack fully recommend it if you haven't seen it watch it with a 90s frame of mind if you have seen it watch it again if you are on derek and bleep's side and you think you don't like it watch it with friends drinking and smoking it is phil hartman is just so fucking good he brings joy to me
01:45:38
Speaker
I don't think I realized how much of a warm blanket he is for me. And maybe not just in this movie, but i just in general, I didn't realize how much Phil Hartman was a warm blanket for me.
01:45:49
Speaker
well So I think just just i think both of you, we should have fucking well watched together. It's my fault we didn't. But damn, you would have different time. on On the note of what you said, i did like Phil Hartman. I felt like the Phil Hartman to Sinbad ratio was way off.
01:46:03
Speaker
Okay. um I think that was one of my biggest issues. It was just a lot of Sinbad doing Sinbad stuff. Yeah. Phil Hartman didn't have a special at that point, I guess is why he's getting more time. Yeah, I mean, he was on at this point was news radio going and he'd already done SNL. think news radio is done.
01:46:18
Speaker
Yeah. So, I mean, he was a he was a guy. he was a guy for sure. But I'm saying like Sinbad was probably like big touring at this point. Yeah, he was the next big thing. yeah But maybe don't. Literally and metaphorically. Maybe don't ad lib your first movie.
01:46:31
Speaker
Yeah. I just felt like it was too much. So you're not Rob Williams is what you said. So yeah, i'm i can I'm not going to recommend it. I mean, you know, we do have a guest recommendation.
01:46:44
Speaker
like we love hot butt hey guys sorry um i'm gonna shock you i highly believe that this is a great hangover movie i was not into it in the beginning of this movie but towards the end i was like all right i'm kind of feeling this now i because i wasn't feeling good dog was sick whole thing um definitely need jack's caveats though you have to have drinks you have to have friends with you. You cannot watch this by yourself unless you are Jack.
01:47:16
Speaker
um Again, if you've never seen it, it's worth one. If you've seen it before and didn't like it, don't worry about it. If you've seen it before and remember loving it, try it again. All right.
01:47:26
Speaker
Well, thank you. And I, you know, I can see the the hangover thing, except for the problem is you need to have drinks. And if you have a hangover drinks are sometimes the good solution and sometimes not um have some nooners because like as far as the hangover thing, you could get through the really soggy middle, which is where I was like, yeah, because the beginning was okay and the end was pretty good. Like not the end of the story, but that there was jokes at the end that just a soppy sandwich. But yeah it's just there's too much mustard in the middle. david Did you mention the cuttable moments yet or not really? I would have cut. the The thing that I didn't think worked as well as what you guys surprisingly did was his clickings, his slides.
01:48:05
Speaker
I didn't think it was that funny because he's not making jokes. He's just going, oh, oh. oh I think know it wasn't that part and so much. It was the the old lady. Okay. her Her mindlessness about what was going on. But I guess what I just said cut was reference. It helps speaks to what you guys just said. Like, don't riff your first movie because that you didn't have jokes. Yeah.
01:48:26
Speaker
You know, you should have been... Robin Williams would have been like, oh, what's that? Hot air balloon made it a gonads. Oh, talk about the Nazis. Any knots I see.
01:48:34
Speaker
I just did a better riff than he did. i did read that the little girl... He was riffing with his hands a lot. I think Sinbad made this little girl quit acting. Yeah. Because I read that she was... Jeffrey Jones. She was very upset about...
01:48:47
Speaker
sinbad's riffing because she was like very like on memorizing her lines because it was like her chance to be an actress right and i'm sure her parents didn't let her leave the basement until she got him memorized or whatever because it was the 90s but like she was actually really upset and she asked the director like can you tell him to fucking stay on script and the director was like ah just work with it you're You're seven years old. Improvise. Yeah, you're seven years old and never acted before. Figure it out. Figure it out, you fucking idiot. Stand up there with one of our, I can't even say it, one of our American greatest kids.
01:49:18
Speaker
Look, you did a Green Giant commercial once. You can improvise. This is a Black Giant.
01:49:25
Speaker
And she just gave it up after that. She's like, nope, if they're going to act like that, if this is dramatic acting. Well, the next movie she was supposed to be was with Robin Williams. She's like, nope, I'm out. she She was supposed to be a Mrs. Downfire. He showed up and she's like, I'm leaving. I'm not doing this. We got a little Matilda girl instead. Good.
01:49:44
Speaker
no That was good. um So, yes, next week we continue listener request month ah with a request from listener Bryce for Garbage Pail Kids. Oh, man.
01:49:55
Speaker
Never seen it. I've never seen it seen it I looked up some pictures to get the ah you know the to get posts ready, and it looks fucking gross. It looks disgusting. Yeah. I am going to make sure to watch it not hung over.
01:50:07
Speaker
Nothing but Trouble almost killed me. I feel like this is going to be worse than Nothing But Trouble. Yeah. That's why I need to make sure I'm not going to be 65% Jen. And then for our listener request, Patreon...
01:50:19
Speaker
it's It's another request that was sent to us through Bleep from Mrs. Bleep for Tales from the Crypt Presents Demon Knight. Still haven't figured out how to get a sponge in my mouth and spit it out.
01:50:31
Speaker
Like this. That's how I die. Just make sure you have really dry mouth so the sponge doesn't soak it all up.
01:50:42
Speaker
Work it on it, pal. that'll be that. And then also on our Patreon this month, we have Latchkey Vids, but we're taking a short break from Cop Rock because Jack discovered something we need to talk about. Bleep doesn't know about this. So I found a canceled sitcom. There's only one episode.
01:50:58
Speaker
It's called Howl Honey, I'm Home, and it is a British sitcom of Hitler as a house husband. Like just living next to a Jewish couple. Why didn't this work?
01:51:09
Speaker
I don't know, but we're going to get to the bottom of it. It looks like I'll tell you what, Derek's probably going to give it a nine out of ten. and It looks like ah yeah I love Lucy, but with Hitler. Yeah.
01:51:21
Speaker
Like he walks in the audience like his wife is cooking. I mean, i was like scrolling through because surprise, there's not that many pictures online. So I went to the episode, which is available on YouTube for anybody who's in looks like crap quality. I did find one that's it's Heil, honey, I'm home better quality, but it's oh one out of three parts. Yeah, but it is ah You can see It's substantially better. Yeah. It's not like you're watching. It's like you're drunk and watching it through those foggy tiles at your dentist office. Without your glasses. Yeah. um It's a little better. But one of the first scenes I see is him saying something. I didn't watch it. I just scrolled through for anything that looked picturable. Uh-huh.
01:51:58
Speaker
And it's his fake Lucy wife. He says something to her and she puts her hand up in front of his face, much in like a Heil Hitler motion. you but Like an Elon way. Yeah. Very musky. Yeah. Very Musk scented salute. But she like put to tell him to stop talking. And I was like,
01:52:18
Speaker
That's what we're getting. It's going to be super offensive and I'm ready. opens up the oven. He's like, I haven't even roasted the flesh yet. like we heard did you How dark does this get? It's only a gas-powered stove. yeah Does he get gas on the way home? How dare you ask me that?
01:52:33
Speaker
Yeah, I'm sure it's going fucking horrendous, but we saw it and it's one episode. So we're taking a short break from Cop Rock because we already got the baby merchant. oh yeah Oh, yeah. Now we're just waiting for let's be careful out there to show up. That's the potato. And then we've got everything that we know about Cop Rock. Excite. So, yes, tune in for Latchkey Vids and our mental health episode on Patreon, patreon.com slash worst people. It's only three dollars a month.
01:52:59
Speaker
Bleep affords it. Yeah. ah Well spent money. If he does it, you can too.
01:53:08
Speaker
um Yeah, that's it for this week. We have to, quote of course, thank Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. Always. I've been Derek. um I'm going to unzip my ball bag and give him a wash.
01:53:19
Speaker
And I'm Bleep. Yes, you can. It's me.