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Ep 152: Catwoman
58 Plays14 days ago
Halle Berry does her best Michelle Pfeiffer here, and it doesn't work at all, in Derrick's opinion. We have Halle Berry and Sharon Stone here, two of Hollywood's sexiest. Yet, this movie is oversexed without being sexy as well as being mystical and magical without any magic, and so full of potholes that I'm surprised we don't have more people falling to their deaths to be resurrected by mystical Egyptian hairballs. We'll get all the way into this 2004 bomb directed by Pitof. That's it... just Pitof.
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction and Previous Movie Discussions
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back. It's superheroes. Spectacular. la And this week, cream straight up. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. And this is bad movies.
00:00:14
Speaker
We're people. We're people. We're people.
Introduction to Catwoman: Awards and Decisions
00:00:48
Speaker
I got to watch blind fury some more. our and Our intro just always reminds me how awesome some of these movies are that we've covered. i was just thinking about when ah ah the dad from family ties is shooting that sniper rifle and the window behind him explodes. Bert gross. for Michael garton Gummer is the character. Michael Michael gross actor.
00:01:10
Speaker
Half right on two i got two questions wrong in spectacular fashion. But yes, it is the superhero. Or Crestons, right? Spectacular. I can't do it.
00:01:22
Speaker
That you could you could purr, I think, better than Halle Berry. Soak my ass. That's an unfair advantage. I think all the time.
00:01:33
Speaker
And this week we're talking about 2004 is Catwoman, if you couldn't guess. h And this is kind of my fault. Like this is it's just kind of my kind of your fault. I think I was just riding that high of that phenomenal, phenomenal movie called Steel.
00:01:49
Speaker
I really enjoyed Steel. So i think like i was like, we need one more movie for the month. And Jack's like, it could be this one or this one I don't remember what the other one was. And I was like, I know. terrible Let's watch that.
00:02:02
Speaker
I don't remember what the other one was either. Fantastic Four. But no, no, it doesn't matter. But I've never seen this one. And I've always heard we've we've we've talked about how it got Razzies and shit. Right. We've we've discussed that.
00:02:15
Speaker
Oh, yeah. She's a high around. for She's one of only six, asctor six actors in history to win both an Oscar and a Razzie. And she's the first one to ever show up to accept her Razzie.
00:02:27
Speaker
Yeah. I would want my Razzie. like Yeah. So that's, I just wanted to, I just wanted to see, I'm going to say off the top, I should have watched
Director, Script, and Box Office Analysis
00:02:37
Speaker
it with you guys. Cause I had some laugh out loud moments that weren't supposed to be laughed at.
00:02:42
Speaker
Maybe, maybe not. I probably not. I couldn't tell if some of the funny stuff was supposed to be funny or not. I couldn't tell when the porn was going to start. Right. I was like, so so it's that kind of movie.
00:02:54
Speaker
Okay. I mean, I'm in. Speaking of that, I forgot to show this. We're talking about Catwoman. Me. Ow. Yeah, that's porn. Yep. Ow.
00:03:06
Speaker
So yes, this movie came out in 2004 and i hope do the box office on this stinker directed by Pit off.
00:03:18
Speaker
Just Pit off. That's it. P-I-T-O-F. I'm a little pit off that it's not a longer name. My parents named me Pit Off because I was always so pit off at them because they named me this.
00:03:29
Speaker
He didn't really direct much um porn. He directed music videos. He's a visual effects artist. oh And he like pioneered a bunch of visual effects stuff, which I could see watching this. Like, yeah, they have those stupid ass swooping shots of the city and stuff.
00:03:47
Speaker
They actually look pretty decent for 2004. And I think that's his his visual effects history because he did the visual effects on a movie called The City of Lost Children that has ah Ron Perlman in it. It's a great movie, but it's got that so like crazy, like the cities in the background that clearly aren't there, like these big dilapidated cities and stuff. And so he he knows what he's doing there. He just, you know, directed.
00:04:15
Speaker
I would have been not shocked at all if you told me this was made by people or people or person that directed music videos. Or that's what i expected. My suggestion.
00:04:27
Speaker
um Did this person really, really fucking love hackers? Because the music, whoever did score loves hackers. yeah Yeah. Also, like they were like, you know what? I really like hackers, but I've never learned how to make electronic music. I can figure it out this weekend.
00:04:41
Speaker
but I've got a weekend in an eight oh eight. This is like if I installed Fruity Loops on my computer and on Monday I was like, guys, I got a new theme song for us. Oh, dude, I i can get you a theme song anytime you want.
00:04:54
Speaker
like um They don't call me lips for nothing. So this movie was written by 15 people. Oh, as I thought you were going to say a 15-year-old. I'd be less surprised, Whitney. 15-year-old with a rock-hard boner.
00:05:16
Speaker
might be the most amount of writers we've had on this show. Yeah, they're not all credited, of course, because it's just the people who did the final stuff, but... So there there was a script written in 1995 by Daniel Waters, who wrote Heathers for the adventures of Ford Fairlane Hudson Hawk, Batman Returns, Demolition Man. So Daniel Waters wrote some good stuff. Yeah. Some fucking real. car hawk And Demolition Man were written by the same person. Yeah.
00:05:45
Speaker
And ah that was 1995, though. Between then and when this came out, ah there were 10 other writers who worked on the script. And then we had Teresa Rebeck and John Brancato and Michael Ferris, who are credited with the story.
00:06:03
Speaker
ah Teresa only ever wrote. The only thing I recognized was Harriet the Spy, ah which was... ah michelle tractenberg little baby kid movie and then didn't she just pass away yeah she did oh man yes and i was very upset about it knew i recognized that name and then the other two that wrote the story and worked on the screenplay wrote uh the net uh t3 rise of the machines uh terminator salvation and surrogates so Okay, some proper high-budget stinkers.
00:06:36
Speaker
Yeah, and then the the final guy who probably came in and did touch-ups, good for him, I guess. I never saw final guy. ah John Rogers. He wrote the core, and he wrote the story for Transformers.
00:06:48
Speaker
so we know you dar No, you didn't.
Halle Berry's Performance and Production Issues
00:06:51
Speaker
You didn't write that. You had your fucking son playing with some fucking Transformers and his on your living room, and you like, yep, print it.
00:06:59
Speaker
I was going to say, let AI write it. Yeah, he was like, check GPT. Watch my son play with his toys and make a movie out of it. Well, that's his son's name is Alfred Ignatius. So, I mean, AI is right.
00:07:12
Speaker
ah So, yes, we will play the box office game. Okay. So you guys want a budget? Yes. Yeah. $100 million in 2004.
00:07:23
Speaker
Well, it didn't make that back. um Whitney, do you want to go first? Yeah, I'll go first. I'm going to say people did go out to see it. I want to say 36.5 mil worldwide. oh oh Oh, no, that was just domestic. Yeah.
00:07:43
Speaker
What about worldwide? 89. Jack? Domestic was 4 million. Worldwide was 14 million.
00:07:54
Speaker
Oh, man, you were really mean. And Whitney's a little closer. Forty two million domestic. Eighty two million worldwide. Why? I guess Halle Berry in a cat suit. Never mind. I say yeah how many 15 year old with a rock hard boner? Yeah. That fucking butt right there. Yeah.
00:08:11
Speaker
one right right below you there's a butt right below me there's some lips i'm like um i got whitney's over we here just fucking getting spit roasted by lips and butt i am not mad i didn't think you would be i have one thing to say about hallie's performance well i'll pause my talking while you deliver that line wow um I get that she's doing an alter ego. I didn't hate Patience.
00:08:42
Speaker
I really did not like Catwoman. Okay. I didn't like her person. I don't like, I don't believe her personality. Her persona. I don't, I don't believe it.
00:08:54
Speaker
it's It's a lot like Michelle Pfeiffer's thing too, though. is like, she's the mousy nerdy, but whatever. And then when she's Catwoman, she's just like super sexed up. Better.
00:09:05
Speaker
better I think well i think what Michelle Pfeiffer had the walk down better. i don't know what the fuck Halle Berry was doing. oh She couldn't walk in these heels. How much of this movie is she actually in? I feel like she's CG'd a lot of it. Oh, most of it is cartoon. Like you might as well have just like I felt like it was ah ah ah the fucking Clone Wars Attack of the Clones.
00:09:23
Speaker
Like you might as well have to more Morrison over here. Yeah, they they were. They were like, meet law I'm going to drop this joke about being fucking perfect, you know? Can I see Do you want to see my catwalk?
00:09:35
Speaker
I did this one at the Grammys when I got my Razzie too. This is how I walked up on stage. Look at this. I put my hips out and i got my whip out. Isn't that right? Tamara Morrison doesn't even sound anything like this. Speaking of her whip, I read a thing that was like it took her like a week of like nine hour days to learn how to crack the whip. And I was like, for what scene?
00:09:54
Speaker
I mean, she does it a lot. this But it's not a cartoon character. But the whip's not there. Yeah, like there's nothing there. Maybe that's why. It is a lot of just CG Halle Berry, which, by the way, you have that technology. we haven't had like an interactive Halle Berry game.
00:10:10
Speaker
Come on. Oh, there is one. You just got to go on the dark web. Don't let the sunglasses fool you, man. Ain't that cool? You got to go on the dark web and then you got to like jailbreak your VR headset.
00:10:23
Speaker
That's how I get this fucking computer hacked, my friend. Exactly. And then somebody else controls our podcast. It's called worst people, bad movies. oh um But she did go accept her Razzie and she even gave her a little. exception She went up there with her Oscar and Razzie. Flex.
00:10:42
Speaker
And then she like gave a speech and she's like, I'd like to thank Warner Brothers for making me do this god awful piece of shit movie. That's the quote. I want to say it didn't have to be a piece of shit.
00:10:53
Speaker
Wasn't she the first black female to win an Oscar?
00:10:58
Speaker
Is that true? Mammy, Mammy won an Oscar. It might have been. Oh, yeah. She might be the first to accept it. Yeah, I don't think she was allowed to. I can't think of the actresses. I don't think one who played I don't. me and Yeah, I don't believe that actress was allowed in the fucking building the time she won.
00:11:13
Speaker
Yeah. Which is just an insane sentence. This was the highest grossing female led superhero movie until Wonder Woman came out in 2017. Right out of town.
00:11:24
Speaker
And it was also tied for but tied with Supergirl or Super. Yeah. Supergirl with the lowest a Rotten Tomatoes score for any Warner Brothers or DC superhero movie.
00:11:36
Speaker
Well, I got to tell you,
Plot Overview: Catwoman's Origin and Powers
00:11:38
Speaker
I had fun with this movie. Didn't hate it. No, I'd rather watch Supergirl again. Yeah. Well, I went to go because I had his company and not your company. There's no Peter O'Toole in this movie. When she says it, my company's because I was alone.
00:11:54
Speaker
No, your company. If she watched it with you, she would have had a better time. Instead of listening, well you just go, ugh. That's my next point. We have that option because when I went to go rent it, it was $4.99 to buy.
00:12:05
Speaker
Click. I had a good feeling, dude. I had a really good feeling about this movie. And I do not regert it at all because I had some genuine fucking laughs at how bad this movie is.
00:12:18
Speaker
When we were setting up, Whitney was like, are we watching this streaming or do you have a disc? And i just went, pfft.
00:12:26
Speaker
And then he pulled out a 4K collective edition. This big box over here? No, I don't have this movie. is I actually have the nine disc series set that they gave. It's interviews with all the wardrobe and the whip and all the other CG things that were there.
00:12:43
Speaker
Interviews with the whip? Yep. Hallie really didn't know how to handle me that well. She kept dropping me. It was real disrespectful. We worked together you know nine hours a day for a couple weeks, but I'll be real honest, man. She was just phoning it in.
00:12:55
Speaker
I did catch one of the Easter eggs, though. Do you want to wait to get to it? That's what I was going to ask. Okay. Yeah. We'll wait. Yeah. It's there. Well, they'll come again.
00:13:07
Speaker
This one did have to do. They had to do reshoots because of poor test screenings. You don't say. didn't have either with only a month left before the movie came out.
00:13:18
Speaker
Oh no. So they're trying to do reshoots and reedits in a month. Dude, they would have hated me at this fucking test audience. Cause like, this is not supposed to be a comedy. I'm like, this is solid a gold, dude. You, my friends have found the funniest movie of the year.
00:13:31
Speaker
No, this is supposed to be a really dramatic part. What? Show me which part's dramatic. When they're about to fuck in front of the little kids. They're about to fuck in front of little kids. Are we supposed to not be laughing right then?
00:13:44
Speaker
I'm sorry. And ah apparently ah production stalled while they were making it. And there was rumors that Warner Brothers was just going to scrap the movie. Do that fucking Batgirl insurance thing. Yeah.
00:13:57
Speaker
No, they were going to scrap the movie and then incorporate Halle Berry as Catwoman into Batman Begins. Oh, I vaguely remember hearing about that. Thank Christ they didn't do that.
00:14:08
Speaker
Who ended up playing her? Anne Hathaway? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. um But that being said, i think Christopher Nolan would have given us a better look at Halle Berry. Like, he wouldn't have had her in these fucking shoes.
00:14:21
Speaker
I think he also would have been like, all right, Hallie, I'm going need you to do me a favor. Go home. Take off your top. Now stay there. All right. And Hathaway come in ah for this scene. Hallie, can you move left?
00:14:33
Speaker
Keep going left. Keep going left. Get in that cab and drive more left. Go home. Turn your doorknob to the left. There you go. Get your mail in ballot. Vote left. All right. You're good.
00:14:47
Speaker
So this movie starts with the history of cats and or cat people. Oh, my goodness. And these this shopping on the oblivion. Right. I'm playing oblivion right now. They're called Khajiit, not cat people.
00:14:59
Speaker
That's not what the movie says. Oh, this movie is cat cyst. Dude, these this Photoshopping on these, it's like real paintings and real fit pictures and stuff from history, but they just like Photoshopped in these masks and helmets and cats. And it looks like, I mean, I'm not great at Photoshop. Looks like I did it. After like a ah month of working with Photoshop, I could do way better than this.
00:15:20
Speaker
It looks like if you gave me one of those clear sheets and I just drew on fucking dry erase marker right over it. I'm going to give you a little little set of cat ears. And you know what? You need a little cat tail. This lady gets a cat tail. This is 2004, which is about the time I was using real Photoshop and not just like ms Paint or something.
00:15:39
Speaker
And think even then I could have done better. I was finishing. I just finished high school and I could have, this was one of the reshoots. They're like, well, nobody recognized those were cat people quick. Go back there and just scribble some cat ears on them.
00:15:53
Speaker
So it all started the day I died. She says, let me get those swooping CGI city shots. Uh, and we've got Halle Berry playing patience. Phillips, um,
00:16:05
Speaker
Everybody knows who Halle Berry is. going to go through that. She's story guys. Yeah. Operation swordfish. I know you don't like swordfish. I know none of us really like James Bond, but did you ever see die another day? ah That's the one one with Halle Berry. Yeah.
00:16:19
Speaker
Yeah. It's where they were like, they, I can't remember her name, but they were like setting her up to basically take over for James, like to have her own spinoff series.
00:16:30
Speaker
And it was so bad that they were like, let's just flush it in the toilet. They called her not a not a sace.
00:16:37
Speaker
And then her best friend, Sally, played by Lois Griffin. Yep. And they basically 9-11. They make face cream ads for a living. You bet. And we meet their bosses as well.
00:16:52
Speaker
Laurel and George Hedare. Matrix and welcome back. Yeah. Welcome back. Sharon Stone. Quick in the dead. Oh, there you say welcome back from him. Also sphere and sphere. Yeah, but he's not a welcome back. He was just what did you say?
00:17:07
Speaker
a. I said he's Elon Musk. Oh, no. French dude from The Matrix. Yeah, he's Maryland. that's right. That's right. He's wiping ass with silk. the only thing. Mm-hmm. Like, I was going, I was like, I've got to know him from something else. So I started going, because I recognized him right away, of course.
00:17:23
Speaker
I started going through his credits. I'm like, I don't know this guy from anything else. He's the Maryland. I'm going to tell you, stayed off IMDb. I was captivated. i was I was entertained, dude. And not in the right ways, but I was entertained as fuck.
00:17:36
Speaker
I'm not even drinking. Neither are we. I'm trying a new thing where I don't drink all the time. Yeah, it's a new day. I strapped on this weekend. I will go to the bar after this. We'll see.
00:17:51
Speaker
All I need to do is put pants on, guys. Me too. The big thing here is that they're setting up that they they are hiring a new person because Sharon Stone has been the face of the company, but she's 40 now, 46. Whoa. 46? Whoa.
00:18:03
Speaker
and whoa whoa hi nick yeah woe Yeah. Surprise. She's not six feet under. lives so long for the face for 15 years. I mean, and she could be the ass for the next 15.
00:18:19
Speaker
So they hire this girl, Drina, played by Kim Smith, who I'm only going to mention because she's barely in the movie other than these modeling photos. Right. But she was mean she was the ah evil puppeteer lady in the NSYNC. Bye bye bye music video.
00:18:34
Speaker
What lustrous career you've had, my friend.
00:18:39
Speaker
ah Which one do you think she tells people about? i wasn't you me like a yeah Do you have any Hollywood work? Well, I was in not Catwoman.
00:18:49
Speaker
I was in an NSYNC video. yeah i was also say correct She was apparently also in Van Wilder. That's what I would tell people. If these are my two choices, how do I know you?
00:19:01
Speaker
do you watch a lot of porn? Because i'm in I'm in some filthy stuff. That's been my saying for like 15 years now. Hell yeah. you Have you ever seen Butt Babes 13? You watch the weird shit, don't you? No. You know what? After Butt Babes 9, they went a different direction that I just couldn't follow.
00:19:18
Speaker
You know, I thought these aren't the butt babes I grew up with. Like it's a different, it's it's a butt babe for a different generation. So one through nine, I like. One's Disney bottom. They basically became super spies after number nine. It was. crazy Yeah.
00:19:31
Speaker
Yeah. At first it was just about driving cars and having butt sex. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And then all of sudden the evil bidet comes around and you got to fucking power everybody else up. Yeah, you got The Rock playing an evil bidet.
00:19:43
Speaker
Butt Babes 1 through 13. It's our new podcast. ah When Jason Statham showed up as toilet paper man, I just... Anyway,
00:19:54
Speaker
so all we learned from all this is that basically she's she's a a doormat, much like Michelle Pfeiffer's character. yep She's mousy. She can't stand up for herself. The Meryl Vingians always telling her that she's a piece of shit, even though Sharon Stone's like, she's great at her job. Just shut the Yeah, you know she is too. Yeah.
00:20:13
Speaker
He just hates women all around. He hates women. Yeah. He only likes young women. And Halle Berry is probably too old for him. Dude, there's a line. Try not to sleep. try try so like Stop sleeping with babies that were born the same year the cell phone was.
00:20:28
Speaker
Which now would make them you know mostly adults. Mostly. ah They would all be adults. We didn't say smartphone. Yeah, cell phone. That's true.
00:20:40
Speaker
Although if they were born when the smartphone came out, they would also at least be 18 by now. True. So this guy can have sex with them just because of the smartphone thing. He invented the smartphone so he could keep sleeping with younger people.
00:20:53
Speaker
He invented Tinder. Mm-hmm. He was trying to spell it like love me tender, but didn't catch on. Well, he's French, so love me Tinder? Love me Tinder. Yeah. Like ah the app. I love me tender.
00:21:06
Speaker
I go on my tender. I swap a swap. Then I stroke. It's like wiping your ass with silk. but So she goes home and like in the morning she's fucking around with this painting and there's this cat on the ledge of her apartment building. So she climbs out there to save it. And I'm like, dude, that cat is fine.
00:21:26
Speaker
Yeah, it got up there on things. It got up there. Let it goes down get down. Yeah. But if it wasn't for that, she wouldn't meet her new love. Tom Lone. Mr. Benjamin Bratt, who we talked about on. Yeah, we just talked about him on our sister podcast and and we couldn't we were all had different things we knew him from. And no one said this.
00:21:47
Speaker
i threw it in there. I never saw this. I threw it in there on one of them because I said, I kept saying Miss Congeniality you were like, you've got to have something else. And I was like, blood in, blood out. And like, okay. And I was like, cat woman. And you were like, stop that. And then I remembered Demolition Man.
00:22:02
Speaker
Yeah, much better. Yeah. Because he's in Demolition Man and Miss Congeniality. got Smile for days. I put a week on it. You know what? Benjamin Brant, he's a handsome man here.
00:22:16
Speaker
But yeah that Bail Organa look with the gray and stuff. Oh, he's a silver fox now. He is. He's a bottle of wine. Men age sexually and women do not. That's not all of us.
00:22:31
Speaker
What did you the asswiper? What what are you calling him? merovingian ah Sure. The asswiper is how he should be known as the rest of this He he calls it as it is. He's like, women are only beautiful until this age and then you need to flick them away.
00:22:48
Speaker
no I get older and I get That's just shallow people do. No, I he is sexy no matter what I've seen him in. Well, you like ass wipers. Oh, I you said ass wiper Benjamin Brat.
00:23:02
Speaker
OK, absolutely. But yeah, he saves her from falling because he and he's a cop and he thinks she's a jumper. But he's like, oh, shit, there really is a cat here. All right. Well, I'll dead. guess you're a crazy person. Well, you are because you climbed out on a fucking ledge. but Right?
00:23:16
Speaker
When my defense, there was a cat in the ledge. I went to go save it. Still insane, lady. Still insane. oh yeah. It's a beautiful cat. The cat's not there. OK, sure. There's no cat.
00:23:30
Speaker
There is no cat. This is only zo this is not the cat you're looking for. This is not the person you're looking for. Come inside my apartment. Speaking of come inside.
00:23:41
Speaker
No. So she she runs off to work because she's late. Drops her wallet. So he stalks her. ah Goes to her work and brings it to her. Did we say the cat actually was in her apartment at this time? Yeah. I think we kind of said something like that.
00:23:54
Speaker
yeah and Old midnight. I like that. She's like, oh, shit, this cat's here. Well, I got to go to work. Dude, get out of my apartment. Cat, stay here. I'm not locking the door. Let's go. Well, he kicked the door in.
00:24:04
Speaker
what a what it What a weird. I guess so. She can't lock it. So she just now lives in an apartment with a broken door in Gotham. Yep. Yeah. This might be the most realistic movie ever made.
00:24:16
Speaker
Yeah. But he comes and invites her to a coffee date. And of course, all her friends. I love this dude. I don't know what his name is, but the dude they work with, because the line he has when Benjamin Brat comes walking in, he's like, man, 12 o'clock man sandwich. Like, just because you want to eat him up.
00:24:35
Speaker
Yes. okay yeah yeah Yes. Whitney. Whitney. We have full dummy mommy on that one because you want to eat him up. Yes. Yes. Yes, I do.
00:24:47
Speaker
ah full diamond i got dibs on top buns. ah Cool. But yeah, so they set up a coffee date and they do mention ah Lois Griffin, Alex Borstein mentions that ah they gave her this leather outfit for Christmas one year or something. And she was like, I will never wear that. So this is it, though, right? Like the Catwoman one is the leather outfit that you wanted her to wear in this coffee date.
00:25:15
Speaker
right know the the one No, it's the first one when she steals the motorcycle. Oh, okay. I think she goes a little, they don't show it, but I think she goes all Michelle Pfeiffer on it And that's how we end with this. She's cutting her hair. She's also cutting this one.
00:25:27
Speaker
I forgot about that first outfit. So i was like, this is what you wanted her to wear in a coffee date. I mean, I get it, dude. I look at Halle Berry's body and I'm like yeah, let's put it in that fucking leathery chopped up number. Not for a coffee date. You'll look ridiculous.
00:25:40
Speaker
I think it looks better in though the one that covered things. i mean, it looks great. Don't get me wrong. This outfit is fucking ridiculous. It's ridiculous. it's ah It's a fucking porn parody outfit. You're also leaving your DNA everywhere.
00:25:51
Speaker
Yeah. and she's brought in house where She's like, well i'm wearing gloves, so I'm not leaving fingerprints. I'm like, no, but you're leaving skin flakes, nipple flakes, pubic hairs. glitter ah She wears that mask and then puts it back. I'm just like, they got forensics.
00:26:03
Speaker
I've seen cs now CSI Miami. I'm sure the CSI Gotham. There has to be. and that the The one that she's wearing when she first goes out is a lot like what ah who who the fuck Zoe Kravitz is wearing oh yeah in The Batman.
00:26:19
Speaker
So it's like more practical. Zoe Kravitz, not a bad ah Catwoman, in my opinion. No, i I thought she was great. I love that movie. I'm getting concerned about the second one. Oh, I don't think we're getting a second one. I don't think I know what you're talking about. The Batman.
00:26:35
Speaker
With Sparkle Boy. I know. Why did you say that name? It's got Sparkle Motion Boy. Okay. Robert Patton. She's like, wow, the Twilight's really nice. Why'd you say that name?
00:26:47
Speaker
Why'd you Twilight? ah But yeah, so she has basically just do this new mock-up. It has to be to Merovingian by midnight. The delivery service can't come get it. So she has to deliver it herself.
00:26:59
Speaker
She goes in and hears the science. She gets really far into a fucking warehouse slash plant, like without any. She's just walking around, having machinery like, hello. Like, there yeah yeah yeah there should at least be a security guard, dude.
00:27:11
Speaker
I know you're doing some fucking nefarious things, but have a lookout. We've got these two. he was outside somehow. He should have been looking out. We've got these two goons, um one of which is a welcome back.
00:27:25
Speaker
One of them is Elon Musk. Well, he kind of looks like Elon Musk. He also kind of looks like he looks like what this guy does. He looks like ah ah the Kingpins dude from ah Born Again.
00:27:38
Speaker
Oh, i very much not because it's 21 years ago. But yeah, but very much so. He does look more. He's the Elon and that guy's love child. Yeah. I say the other one is a welcome back, Byron Mann.
00:27:50
Speaker
playing wesley apparently he was on street fighter he's ray you yeah yeah he's one of two characters that i recognize actors that i recognize that's in hell on wheels and then i said that the slavinsky or the the scientist dude he is adrian brody not adrian brody He's the not Adrian Brody.
00:28:12
Speaker
He's Adrian Brody without the face. He's of Adrian and Brody worked out. So we this guy supposed to be a nerdy scientist and he's like super buff, too. I'm like, what is happening? So we got Adrian Brody is the scientist. Elon Musk is the henchman and Rau.
00:28:27
Speaker
Rau. Rau is a pasta sauce. Rau. Rau. I remember that argument now. Yeah. And I'm right. Right. But we we learned that the face cream What the fuck's it called?
00:28:41
Speaker
Beau Riffle? Beuline. Beuline, yes. Bumblebee tuna. It addictive. 13 cans. it has all these side effects. and it also But it has long-term effects where it makes people's faces melt.
00:28:55
Speaker
Yeah. And ah but of course, Halle Berry stumbles over some shit. So there did you do this scientist guy? Hold on real quick. She stumbled over the shit, knocks it over. Oh, his delivery is the worst.
00:29:06
Speaker
Who's there? Who's there? This is there. i was just going to say this takes me like this is Miami connection delivery. Who is there? Like a security guard. The security guard at the opera thing or the Cirque de Soleil or whatever it is there. He does the same thing. He's like, he calls the other. people He's like, you're not going to believe this. Oh, I know exactly. Call the cops. You are not going to believe this.
00:29:34
Speaker
You stayed up all night working out in the nu mirror to hear like, you're not going to believe this. No, you're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe this. Too much, too much, too much.
00:29:46
Speaker
You're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe this. Oh, look at that. You're not going to believe it. Oh, bro. You're not going to believe this. Whitney, your turn.
00:29:59
Speaker
You're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe this. ah Do I look like I believe this? When you look at you talking to me like I believe this. Oh, my God. You're not going to believe this.
00:30:14
Speaker
ah did not believe this.
00:30:18
Speaker
You're not going to believe this, pilgrim. nice That's not going to work.
00:30:24
Speaker
You're not going to believe this. Hand me my stogie. yeah So, yeah. You're not going to believe this. ah Call police, Marty. You're not going to believe this.
00:30:38
Speaker
Some Lithgow. I love it. It's progressive. And then he shows up the next day just goes, you're not going to believe this. Damn it. Do I get a take two? Nope.
00:30:50
Speaker
but We don't have another take? Oh, no. Nope. We're all out of film. Sorry, guy.
00:30:57
Speaker
Hey, guys. I don't want to sound needy here. i'm needy. But we have a Patreon at Patreon.com. Patreon.com. Mm-hmm. And it only costs $3 a month. $3 a month is nothing. And I know times are hard right now. Real hard for me.
00:31:10
Speaker
Inflation's up. no You can't afford your groceries. Can't eat. But you can't afford $3 a month if you love us. Give us $3. Super love us. Please love us. we're not We're not begging. I'm begging.
00:31:22
Speaker
We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh, boy. i mean my My knees hurt. They've been on the o but on so long. But we do kind of need the money. I need the money bad. We need new equipment.
00:31:34
Speaker
new equipment we need to do remote podcasts for all of you wouldn't mind eating we need to have video i wouldn't mind eating uh we need more drinks food sounds good so please check out patreon.com slash worst people please check us out you get a bonus episode every month and we're gonna have more content coming for you i'll send you pictures ah thank you guys thank you so much please give me patreon.com i'm being held hostage here slash worst people don't pay my way out of here they're gonna kill me But yeah, so they start chasing her and shooting at her and they chase her down into these
Patreon Appeal and Humorous Interactions
00:32:06
Speaker
pipes.
00:32:06
Speaker
And i first of all, these human sized waste treatment pipes. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know how tall Halle Berry is, but that means these are these are at least five and a half feet. Right. She's standing up straight. So, yeah.
00:32:18
Speaker
i I could hunch over walk to walk through these. I wouldn't want to because this looks like poo water. Right? Yeah. At best. Yeah. Because she gets locked in and and launched into the ocean with a sea of poop and garbage and toxic waste, whatever else they're dumping. like This is a grosser part than ah fucking garbage pail kids.
00:32:38
Speaker
This is grosser than that I was half expecting them I saw this stuff in the water when it was coming out of the pipe all these floaties and I was like oh is that poop? But then they're like it's leaves and I'm like that doesn't make any sense Leaves that some fucking rabbit ate and them pooped out Agreed. Why were leaves inside of this like beauty cream factory waste pipe?
00:32:59
Speaker
ah Who knows? but Who knows what they're doing there? Did you think with this cream? Because again, never seen it all the way around. Did you start to say more Derek? Oh, I've seen this. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was going to do what?
00:33:11
Speaker
Turn. to ah we Did you think we're going to get Clayface? No, I don't know what the fuck. I guess that's what they were going for. I didn't even think. Oh, yeah. It's all the mud, the the muckety muck mud grossness. That's what I assumed it was.
00:33:26
Speaker
Though, like the face they put on. But the face cream gives Sharon Stone superpowers. Yes. And I was basically makes her into the Batman villain clay face, which i I didn't think about. But that last shot of her, she has like the cracks and stuff. Yeah. All right. That's stupid.
00:33:40
Speaker
And that's why she kept having to apply it over and over. And I was like, all right, well, I mean, before I knew it was her, i was like, are we going to get a clay face? Because they keep talking about all the things it does. Like, if you keep using it, it'll be fine. was like, this sounds like fucking clay face.
00:33:55
Speaker
I wouldn't know that. Okay. I wouldn't. I didn't read that. It's character from way back, but ah animated series was where I really, that's the best Batman you're going to get, dude. Point of order.
00:34:06
Speaker
I wasn't a nerd and I didn't watch comics or read comics. Yeah. Everybody should watch Batman on the Animated Series. Agreed. It's where you get Harley Quinn from. This is not the person you were thinking yeah yeah But yeah, so she gets launched out of this pipe and it kills her. And then these cats breathe in her mouth and she gets. Did anybody else? When this mouth with his cat walked up and did the mouth, was anybody like just hoping for like a big hairball?
00:34:32
Speaker
Like, yeah excuse me. Sorry. I can get back to life now, but I just ah I've been working on that thing all day. a thousand percent. The only way you can come back to life is if you eat my hairball.
00:34:44
Speaker
I'll die. You know who hated this movie? What's around sound was my cat. wow Very uncomfortable. kept like, what the fuck? What is the problem here? Who is that?
00:34:57
Speaker
There's all corners of the room. People just keep yelling racial slurs. oh
00:35:03
Speaker
I love watching those videos like bark at your dog. See what happens. Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. you give me out your cat and it looks to you like fuck's wrong with you.
00:35:16
Speaker
ah So she comes back to life and she goes and visits Ophelia, who's played by Francis Conroy. you recognize her, Whitney? Yes, she's from American Horror Story.
00:35:28
Speaker
Oh, okay. well Also, she plays Barney's mom in How i Met Your Mother. Yes. I don't think I remembered that. And she's ah she's also on that the TV show they did of that Stephen King story, The Mist.
00:35:40
Speaker
I only got one season, but was i I enjoyed it. I thought it was a good show. And she's also in Six Feet Under. She's in all of that. she's the She's in all that? matriarch she's She's in all of that.
00:35:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's... ah it's a Beth whatever bouncing off the trampoline and then Keenan and then it's just this old lady like all that no that's how good of an actress she is man she was playing a kid she was the chubby girl and lost all the weight and now that's what she looks like that's fair that's why I don't lose any weight yeah cause it ages you I don't wanna look like that fat keeps you young that's why yeah everybody doesn't believe I'm 57 yeah people still think I'm 40 this is 57 guys
00:36:24
Speaker
Nobody believes that I'm 83. Oh, we believe it. We will start talking to kids. What are you doing? how did things I think didn't think Derek was that old till I saw him go outside and shake his fist at a cloud. But yeah, she's a crazy cat lady.
00:36:38
Speaker
And so let's not shame here. It's set in the movie, so it's okay. All right. And she, so she has this talk with, with Halle Berry about like becoming who she needs to be or whatever.
00:36:51
Speaker
And then she tosses this catnip ball. Oh, so this was where I knew this is exactly if I could, this is exactly how I knew I was going to love this movie.
00:37:03
Speaker
This part right here. She fucking rubs it. of its Oh, yeah. That's where i how I am with the pussy. That's where I verified that I was not going to have a good time.
00:37:14
Speaker
ah Her performance is so fucking bad. Yes, it is. And you took the wrong take there, buddy. You you should have you should have leaned into the catnip.
00:37:24
Speaker
and I was going to nuzzle the microphone, but then I think that would have made too much noise. Somebody might have liked it. ASMR people. She rubs this shit all over her face and then bolts in embarrassment.
00:37:40
Speaker
That's what you do when you fucking motorboat a ball of catnip. Dude, she gets to work and Merovingian's like screaming at her and she like has this manic episode going between...
00:37:51
Speaker
Patience and Catwoman like, like yeah oh, I'm so sorry. Also, go fuck yourself, motherfucker. Yeah, you you or tiny dick little shit motherfucker. Also, what do you want in your coffee today? Is it two cream, one sugar, one sugar, two cream? I can never remember because you are a dick that doesn't deserve anything. You misogynistic asshole that I love my job.
00:38:15
Speaker
I'm sorry, baby. didn't mean to yell at you. I just I just yell because I'm so scared, scared of being a nobody. Well, go on. Who needs you? I've seen those pictures, just finger paintings you bring home and they suck.
00:38:26
Speaker
<unk> Just Halle Berry at the fucking window. I want to kiss you all no over and over again. Every other guy in the office is like, I'll take that.
00:38:38
Speaker
It's just so funny. It's always I i't i don't know, man. he could he could He could be a bisexual fella. He could be your team. He could be my team. And he for Halle Berry, he might be.
00:38:49
Speaker
It's just always funny to have this but this type of movie where it's like, oh, look at her. She has like mismatched clothes and paint on her hands. And yes, sure, she's got a rock hard body and she's a smoke show, but she's going to be single the rest of her life.
00:39:01
Speaker
Yeah, what's that line Asswiper says? how How I should have known not to trust you being a great artist by the look of how you dress. Yeah, but you're fashion cause because of your fashion and sense or something.
00:39:13
Speaker
Sorry, I can't afford a black suit. Right when she walked in right at that scene earlier on, i was that's what I was thinking. I was like, what the fuck is she wearing? Because like from the front, it just looks like a dress. But in the back, there's like all these curtains and folds. It's a painting apron. It's like a schmock. it just Yeah, it's I don't think she cares what she looks like at all.
00:39:31
Speaker
Her art is external. or you know She puts it all out there. She puts it all out there, man. You know what saying? Day after day. It's not easy wearing curtains. Sometimes you got to put it all out there and put some fucking, some ah curtains on your back and pretend it's to cape. Fly away, brother.
00:39:46
Speaker
Meat curtains. Meat curtains. ah It's McCreetians. ah But yeah, so she gets fired and she's walking home with Sally who's like, dude, yeah, I know that you're like destitute now, but that was pretty fucking cool and everybody really appreciated it. So, you know, we'll we'll like we'll throw you some ham sandwiches or something when you're living in your car. Yeah. um I do like Alex Bornstein or Borstein?
00:40:15
Speaker
Borstein. Borstein. I like Alex Borstein a lot as a character as an actress. Give this character more or get her the fuck out. Yeah, this a little option thing is other than mad TV and Family Guy.
00:40:29
Speaker
She's pretty much just always like the she's a horned up friend when she shows up in a person. She's just like, I want to fuck that. I want to fuck that. That's kind of the role, especially in this era, which because this is like a bleed over from the 90s, obviously. But like, oh, yeah.
00:40:44
Speaker
ah That's the role of like the heavier set but still attractive friend. No, not jean not like Janine Garofalo, but like your heavy set but attractive friend is always fucking horndog. Is that Amy?
00:40:55
Speaker
Yeah. Me. The girl from ah ah that gay show that you like with the people. Oh. ah Jack and and Grace, maybe.
00:41:08
Speaker
Oh, will Will and Grace. Will and Grace. There you go. Just Jack. Oh, Megan Milani. Yeah, because she's not i mean she's not fat, but she is like the heavyset one in the group, and she's a fucking horndog. like That's kind of the role of that character in this era. bigger than a snicker, and I got a sweet tooth.
00:41:24
Speaker
Dude, her and Ron, not Ron. um Well, yeah, plays Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman. Nick Offerman. They have an insane marriage. and Oh, that's great. And they are insanely in love with each other. what you do You go outside, you grab a piece of nature, you put it in a piece of paper and write something nice to your wife.
00:41:43
Speaker
Like he's like, romance is easy. They literally fuck everywhere. Everywhere they yeah, they're exhibitionists, like you wouldn't believe. Yes. But no, I get what you're saying. We listen to the same No, I heard the interview um when he was on Conan. Yeah.
00:41:56
Speaker
um But no, I get what you're saying. And like, yeah, just give her more or give her the fuck out. Yeah, cause it's not enough. It's her like at the doctor's office. Like, I'm going to marry this doctor. I'm put my hair in pigtails. I don't know. I'm done to suck them off.
00:42:08
Speaker
Well, it's like meant it's meant for comic relief. But I'm like, you don't need comic relief. This is a comedy. This is the funniest movie. that's like Get her out of here. She's taken away from the slapstick. But yeah, she passes out because she could have made this a three street Stooges movie, dude. Halle Berry, fucking Alex Borstein and beautiful Benjamin Alice or Alex?
00:42:29
Speaker
thought it was Alice. No, it's Alex. Alex. Alex for a lot. Alexa, ah subscribe to Bad Movies, Worst People, rate five stars. But yeah, she passes out because she's been using the face cream. So she has to go to the doctor and that's where she spends the rest of the movie. She goes to the ER. Yeah, I was masturbating with this face cream. and I don't feel so good.
00:42:49
Speaker
My vagina is rock hard. Maybe I will take some of that over here.
00:42:57
Speaker
weird. Every time I rub this lotion on my penis, it gets hard. I think I'm allergic or something. Oh my god, it's happening without the lotion to now.
00:43:07
Speaker
Halle Berry returns the favor to Benjamin Bratt and stalks him. ah Goes to the school where he's talking to kids about being good people or whatever, and they're asking if they he can fire gun.
00:43:18
Speaker
Can I see your gun? No. Will you shoot your gun? No. No.
00:43:24
Speaker
Will you twirl your gun around over your head and then put it in your hole so I dock holiday? Will you well you look me in the eyes and say you're a daisy if you do? Will you point it at the air and go...
00:43:36
Speaker
No, I will not point my gun at the air and go, ah. Is it true that there's a place in a man's head where if you shoot it, it will explode? No. What grade is this?
00:43:47
Speaker
What are you teaching them? i think it's an after school program. Because then they go outside. The kids going to play basketball. And one of these kids is like, This is not a kid's movie right here. The kid just says one-on-one game, and Benjamin Bratt's like, what, me and her?
00:44:01
Speaker
I'm like, I'm pretty sure the kid was challenging you, but okay, i think he was challenging Halle Berry. He's like, girl, I'm going to fucking play the best defense you've ever seen on you. And it's going like Dennis Rodman all over again, just up on you, patapa.
00:44:14
Speaker
Then Benjamin Bratt steps in and ruins this kid's game. They do have this quote unquote basketball game. No, how no. It's a Paula Abdul dance music video. Yeah, they're dancing. They're dance fucking.
00:44:26
Speaker
I mean, she like gets in front of him and starts shaking her ass. Yeah. And he's like looking at her ass and looking over at this 12 year old. Like, right, right. I'm going to hit that. This ends with her straddling him with it on the court with a schoolyard of children watching and cheering on.
00:44:41
Speaker
Can can we have our ball back now? of I need to hide my boner. Why is this ball sticky?
00:44:50
Speaker
ah Dude, do we watch her eat the cans of tuna yet? Nope, we're coming. No, that's right now. she's she's just mowing down on cans tuna. Oh, like that's that's my note is like Sally calls to talk to her.
00:45:03
Speaker
While she's doing gymnastics and pounding and eating pounds of tuna. She hassle-hossing tuna on her bed right now. She's not even drunk, but she is just hassle-hossing bumblebee tuna to the face.
00:45:15
Speaker
She's like, i'm just I'm just making myself a little snack. I'm like, that is eight 16-ounce cans of tuna on your on your bed. that's And now you have mercury poisoning. Do you know how much dolphin you just ate?
00:45:26
Speaker
You probably ate a whole dolphin. Because this is like Walmart brand. This ain't dolphin safe shit. m Dude, yeah how bad do you think this person smells? like i mean, Halle Berry's gorgeous, but she's got to be putting off some sort of odor after just this is not going to be the only time she does this, right?
00:45:43
Speaker
This seems it's going to be a daily thing. Because she's pounding tuna. she's She's slugging down just straight cream. And she shits in dirt in her corner of her house.
00:45:55
Speaker
I kept waiting. when At some point, they're like listing, like you have the sight of a cat. You can do this. You can do it. Just end on, like and also, you can lick your butthole clean. So that's pretty cool.
00:46:06
Speaker
Just like a cat. wonder if she's got a paper tongue, too. Benjamin Brad didn't seem to mind. No, when she licks Benjamin Brad, it would have left a scrape on his cheek. e He had claws on his back.
00:46:19
Speaker
like What's this rash on my balls? Oh, it's missing skin.
00:46:25
Speaker
and just Her neighbors, we didn't mention earlier Her neighbors always have these loud parties they're having Oh Nickelback? Chad Kroger know this actor from Hell on Wheels for sure Well the the Van Halen Not Van Halen Van Helsing Yeah he was the deaf serial killer Like deaf serial killer Oh was it was he in Hell on Wheels too? is he Yeah he's this he's the Swede He's the hell he's No, no, no, no. He's not Anson Mount.
00:46:56
Speaker
he's the ah the well that's handsome mount He's the villain like for the first couple seasons, at least. He's the main villain, the Swede. He's like this preacher, this well Swedish, let's hope, preacher that ends up... Well, you watch watch for yourself, kids.
00:47:11
Speaker
I watched the first season, and then I just kind of fell off. Yeah, I get i get it. um i was too busy watching wrestling. This is supposed to be a hardcore metal ah great choice in life. This isn't real enough for me. I'm going to watch John Cena.
00:47:26
Speaker
Like that John Cena guy. John wrestling yet. i don't know. I've never seen him.
00:47:33
Speaker
Exactly. But where were we? The loud ah Nickelback is having a party. dude It's supposed to be like a metal party and like rough and tumble loud music. i'm like, look at this photograph.
00:47:46
Speaker
Every time I do it makes me laugh. if It's a photo of a photograph. Look at this photograph. It's just Elijah Wood. It's just a slideshow from fucking Lord of the Rings.
00:47:59
Speaker
I love, I love, I'll listen to a Nickelback song now, if that's true.
00:48:05
Speaker
I mean, you could, you could well, you could actually sing. I could use AI to make a voice. That's like, look at this photograph. And then just do that. We could do that.
00:48:15
Speaker
Yeah. ah But yeah, she goes over and she's like, you shut the fuck up and kicks this fucking door in and then short circuits these speakers with beer? question marks Well, I have a lot of questions. Soda gun.
00:48:28
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, I have a lot of question marks here because she grabs this keg pump and squirts across the room. Not how kegs work ever. Yeah. i think it's I think it's a soda gun.
00:48:41
Speaker
Agreed. It's a sober metal party. They just sit around drinking soda water and lime. Look at this soda graph. There you go. It is ridiculous. I love this scene. It's fucking just it's the one Stooges.
00:48:57
Speaker
i mean, she's like doing like pull something in the soda gun comes out. So she's like, oh, a whip. Nice. And this is when it's still she's still separate. She doesn't understand.
00:49:08
Speaker
Well, yeah, she's in Catwoman mode. Yeah. she Because what she does tonight, she doesn't remember in the morning. And I just... This whole, like, her like, agile walking on stuff and standing, like, Catwoman thing. And, like, it's just...
00:49:21
Speaker
It's so bad. ah it's terrible. I love it. Well, yeah, so she goes all Michelle Pfeiffer. She's cutting off her hair and putting on leather suit, steals the neighbor's motorcycle. By the way, this guy not driving this Kawasaki or whatever it is. No fucking way, dude. This is like me getting on like your little five-year-old kid's bicycle.
00:49:39
Speaker
little easy letter But she takes off and spots some dudes robbing this jewelry store. What a power perfect idea. Can't do it still. Whitney. Perfect.
00:49:50
Speaker
Thank you. I love this. She looks at she's like amateurs. but Bitch, you haven't done one thing yet. You are below amateur. This is, in fact, your first rodeo.
00:50:01
Speaker
Well, she did the whole nail thing. went She hasn't robbed anybody yet. This is all new though. This like this is her first time robbing. This is Patience first time. This is not Catwoman's first time. If you read the newspaper article or whatever. But it's not the same cat spirit. I think is.
00:50:19
Speaker
is they find You know what? If you want, we can watch it again to really get the deep lore of this. ah You guys do that and I will, I don't know, ah stand in a closet and stare at the wall. don't know, sit there punch myself in the balls for an hour and a half.
00:50:37
Speaker
But yeah, so then this cartoon of Halle Berry beats the shit out of these dudes, including using one to surf across the floor. yep And then and then like it this is that hard quote sexy thing they're trying to do with this movie. Whitney, can you say surfs up, but roll your R's on the surf like really hard?
00:50:55
Speaker
Surfs up. Thank you. But she like slides between this dude's legs and like pops up on the other side, and it's supposed to be a sexy move, but I'm just... It's a cartoon. do is it is I'm not a guy who's ever found a cartoon sexy, so know. It's Scooby...
00:51:13
Speaker
Scooby-Doo Jessica Rabbit Jessica fucking Rabbit But that's like the idea of sexy i don't I'm not like damn I'd fuck that cartoon Velma Yes yes yes Velma That's a new internet thing that's not a real No that is not that's old school Daphne's boring dude Daphne's fucking boring I knew you were say that Velma she can stimulate your mind and your penis yeah a scooby Did you ever see her bent over trying to find her glasses that were knocked off Baby got back I have seen pornography where women as are dressed as Velma. you don't need to find your You don't need to find your glasses to see that we're going to work out well together. Exactly. Yeah, she beats these guys up, steals a bunch of jewelry.
00:51:56
Speaker
Turns out one of the necklaces she stole... She escapes to the soundtrack of Yakety Sax. By the way, this comes to nothing. I wrote this down because I thought it was going to be how Benjamin Bratt found her. It does come to something.
00:52:07
Speaker
No. It's her nails on her gloves. Yeah, but he doesn't even... He finds it on the ground and that's why he takes the glass. But then like, yeah, he's know it's not her. But that the necklace the necklace is is the cat claws. But the fact that it's like this is a one of a kind piece. I thought he was going to see the necklace and be like, oh, one of a kind.
00:52:27
Speaker
The ring she puts on is what I thought was going to bust her. Well, she also takes it off and puts it back in the bag. But the woman says, reason she's saying it's one of a kind, she's like, it's Egyptian.
00:52:37
Speaker
It was from the goddess Bast. Which is why her eyes just belong to her. I just think a few pages got thrown away. Oh, for sure. don't think I was thrown away or just scribbled over, whited out. Pitoff spilled his ether on them when he was huffing. You know what?
00:52:56
Speaker
We're running out time picking a page and that we're not doing anymore. Let's go. Oh, man, let's see that my homework just ate my dog. oh
00:53:06
Speaker
but if she's a fuck that cat woman.
00:53:13
Speaker
Nothing's nothing is as desperate as the the image of a cat woman on the depths of an ether binge.
00:53:21
Speaker
But like she returns the jewelry in this paper bag and writes her in her very distinct handwriting. Sorry, but. bye yeah later on i guess i can wait to say it because well she is this one she she's also already brought him the coffee yeah right yeah so because she missed that first date because she was getting killed or resurrected it's a very distinct handwriting so it's kind of stupid but oh no she missed the date because she was beating up the uh the the the one of the security guys, right? Isn't that why she missed the date? I think that's when she was dead. No, missed the date because she forgot about it because she had no recollection because she died. She missed the whole day. She just went work. Oh, okay. Okay. Got it. And then got fired. Sorry. I was so enthralled. i I forgot to like really pay attention because this is just such a magical movie that that carried me away to a beautiful place. Derek's just trying to get me to shut up about it. She goes home and much like Jack Googles cats and women. Yeah.
00:54:20
Speaker
Ends up with their called nekos. You idiot. She just types cat period woman period. And Google's like, here's the entire history of people who worship cats. And it's like, okay, cool. I guess that's how Google works.
00:54:33
Speaker
That's how that goes, man. You know what? I'm going to do it right now and see what we come up with. Ooh, you might want to be an incognito mode just in case women. You don't use your porn phone. Oh no. Well, the first thing that comes up is obviously cat woman.
00:54:47
Speaker
Uh, no, it doesn't work because you got be cat woman exists. Huh? You putting periods in there? Yeah. All right. But still the first things, all everything, the entire first page is all things about Catwoman, the character, actresses who have played Catwoman, et cetera.
00:55:01
Speaker
But yeah, so she ends up going back to crazy cat lady's house and she's like, yo, some shit's going down. And lady's like, yeah, you're dead. And midnight put a hairball in your mouth and you drank it and came back to life or something. So she's going through and then she actually like has a memory come back to her.
00:55:19
Speaker
um But this is where I spotted the Easter egg when she's going through all of these pictures and everything. And she's like, When she's sitting around, there's dead center of the screen. Selena as Catwoman, Michelle Pfeiffer. Oh, really? Yeah. In the pile of photographs of ah ah look at these photographs of Catwomen over history.
00:55:40
Speaker
I will Michelle Pfeiffer right there. Gotcha. Which is funny because she's not one of these cat women.
Climactic Confrontations and Plot Twists
00:55:46
Speaker
Hers is a whole different thing, right? I guess. Well, they're they're implying that she is also because she was resurrected by Mao. And that makes sense because the in the comics, she was not supernatural at all.
00:55:58
Speaker
Yeah. and And in the in Batman Returns, they made it not supernatural either. Cats just licked her and it made her happy or something. But o um well, I did read it.
00:56:09
Speaker
I did read a thing that Michelle Pfeiffer was offered to do a Catwoman movie. Obviously, it'd be a little different would need the origin story and stuff. But like She supposedly she turned it down because she did not. She really didn't like wearing the outfit. It was really uncomfortable.
00:56:23
Speaker
I'm like, bitch, you turned it down because you read the script and you were like, yeah, oh, ah the outfit is not comfortable. So I'm going to burn this and pretend I never saw it. Yeah, dude, that you would have you would have squoze into that outfit if you would have read something with any sort of fucking, you know, ah muster.
00:56:41
Speaker
Yeah. If you had read a script that was written by the guy who wrote Hudson Hawk, you might have done this. I want that script. I want that script. Dude, right? Demolition Man Catwoman.
00:56:54
Speaker
It's got to be better. It all depends. it Was like it supposed to be a comedy? Because it won't be better than this. Well, he also wrote Batman Returns, so he's he got some experience with cat women. Mm-hmm. But so then then cartoon Halle Berry goes out on Night Patrol.
00:57:09
Speaker
so much those So much cartoon. They've CG'd me in from Star Wars, you know. It looks like ah when Tobey Maguire is Spider-Man, but before he has the outfit when he's just wearing like sweatpants.
00:57:23
Speaker
Yeah. Like, he's just you of a human being does not look right. Like when he's in this normal Spider-Man costume, it still doesn't look great because of the year and everything. It looks good. It looks better than this But like, well, at the time, it looked great, too.
00:57:33
Speaker
At the time, it looked amazing. But even at the time when you can see his like actual skin and parts of his face, it looked like dog shit. Yeah. Here it looks like dog shit. You can't see g this. But that shit.
00:57:45
Speaker
Because you can only see it. Like the problem is when you can see their skin on him, and you could see like three inches on his wrist where the sweater wasn't big enough on her. All you can't see is three inches.
00:57:56
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Feet away. It's a catastrophe. It is a catastrophe. So yeah, she goes on night patrol, finds this other ah Elon Musk security guard, follows him to a club called scene 83. And I only took note of that because I was like, I wonder if this is scene 83. Yeah. I thought the same thing as it's gotta be some film nerd thing here.
00:58:17
Speaker
What is scene 83? Just the name of the club. The scene of the but movie. Yeah, so it's a weird name if it's not Easter egging. Not Easter egging, but referencing something. It's a movie. Oh, okay. Or maybe it's where, maybe that's what scene in Batman Returns that Michelle Pfeiffer turns into Catwoman.
00:58:35
Speaker
Yeah. Something stupid like that. Yeah, or just some inside joke. He's like, scene 83 of this movie is my favorite. You've never heard of it. It's pretty cool. It's the one where Halle Berry's leather bikini top fell off.
00:58:47
Speaker
Mmm. Wardrobe malfunction malfunction. She had a wardrobe ma malfunction. Apparently that happened a lot. So um I guess I might need to buy the DVD and look for outtakes.
00:59:00
Speaker
hi and dude I'll pitch in on that pitch right in. I guess we could just go watch ah swordfish or what ah what was she when she took her tits out? yeah sportfish Oh, yeah. You better believe it, pal.
00:59:14
Speaker
but she goes up the really great John Travolta wig work in that movie. ah This, I, I saw this coming and I was like, don't say it. She walks up to this bartender and she's like, I'll take a white Russian, hold the vodka, hold the Kahlua, hold the ice, hold the fucking order.
00:59:33
Speaker
Glass of creams. This guy is 100% serious too. He doesn't go up and he's like, okay, here's your glass of cream. He's like, glass of cream. Straight up. This is a club, right? Like this is a ah but ah club where people do drugs and kind of get a little weird.
00:59:48
Speaker
Someone dressing in a vinyl cat outfit is not the weirder thing they've seen. this guy's like, cool, she's just doing her personality. She's just a sexy cat. Her personality. Her personality. so And also, did you recognize this bartender?
01:00:02
Speaker
No. Falling Skies. He played a character named Tector. Oh, okay. No, I did not recognize him. Yeah. Yeah. Different timing.
01:00:13
Speaker
Times. Years. That's how time works. Times years following skies was after this. yeah I'm going full Donald Trump. It's a different with the time and specifically in a different show ah years to be specific.
01:00:26
Speaker
And he played a guy. Great guy. Great role in the thing. The program. The thing that you watch it. Everyone watches. It's a great show. Show is what I'm is what we're here to talk about. And he's the guy from the ah show from the year in the time. The great show. Terrific. I'd watch it again.
01:00:43
Speaker
it's It's that we have the best time. It's best time.
01:00:48
Speaker
Oh, but yeah. So she goes over and like does a hard quote, sexy cat dance thing. Whip swings into this guy's lap and then just let me see your whip. Shit out of him.
01:01:00
Speaker
shit out of him And ah gets the information she needs. He's that he folds like that. Yeah, but he's only giving partial information. He's actually saying it's the guy and not Sharon. But he folds so fucking quick. It's not even like it's not even like the Will fucking Farrell and Austin Powers. We askedb asked three times. This is just like, hey, where's this guy? I'll tell you exactly where he's at, dude.
01:01:26
Speaker
I mean, he's not paying me enough. Fuck. Yeah. She got, he might just have a dummy mommy thing. She threw him on the ground, hit him wearing all this leather. And then she was like, give me answers. And he's like, yes, mommy. Hold on. I made a come. I'll tell you right after. okay All right.
01:01:40
Speaker
Let me, did you say you made a cream? and Let me just take a five minute nap and I'll answer any questions you got. She laughs up his cream and heads off to the meat find the scientist, but he's already dead and she gets caught with the dead body. So now everybody's Spider-Manning her.
01:01:56
Speaker
i know Catwoman is a menace. J. Jonah Jameson is going to pay for pictures. I want pictures of that pussy. I'll pay top dollar for pictures of that pussy. And I am talking about the cat. Oh, don't get it confused.
01:02:07
Speaker
I will also take the other pictures. I'm not trying to get canceled. I'm not putting that call out. But if you bring them in, ah can't say no. i have to look at every photograph that comes across my desk.
01:02:18
Speaker
I don't have to like it.
01:02:23
Speaker
But I do. But yeah, Tom ah Benjamin Bratt compares the sorry on her coffee cup to the sorry on the paper bag and goes to this fucking forensic handwriting guy.
01:02:36
Speaker
go ahead. Is his name Tom as in like Tom Cat? Because he's a lone cat. Oh, that's so stupid. No, no. That's genius. That is fucking dumb. I thought of that at the very beginning.
01:02:50
Speaker
No, it's dumb because her name is Patience and we all know that cats don't have that.
01:02:55
Speaker
When they want to. Her initials are pee-pee and cats do that. ah So once again, your logic is flawed and this movie is perfect. Um, Mi Honor, I would like to address the court if I can and tell you why this movie is top notch. And I would even say cream of the
Forensic Handwriting and Carnival Experiences
01:03:16
Speaker
crop. Oh, did you see what I did there, Mi Honor? You already missed one.
01:03:19
Speaker
I'd like to address the court if I can of tuna. If I can of tuna. Of course you can of tuna.
01:03:27
Speaker
But anyway, so she takes it to this he takes to the forensic handwriting guy and the guy's like, it's not like this is an exact science. And Whitney and I at the exact same time were like, yes, it is. It is an exact science. Also, let's say it's not an exact science.
01:03:40
Speaker
Shut the fuck up and keep getting paid. Don't tell people, hey, what I do here is actually you can't use this in a court of law. So anything that I say cannot and will not help you in a court of law.
01:03:53
Speaker
I am just here to collect a pension. I do like what he says. He's like, these are two different women. like Let me put it this way. If you had both of these women and you're in the same room, you're going to have a great night.
01:04:05
Speaker
know you got used to have a party. Yeah. yeah whens One is and one her own... and one is her own Yeah, he's like the way this Y is it's sharper, so it's more aggressive and done it out I'm like, I these look exactly the same to me. Exactly the same. I mean, what you could basically and he even says like they're very different people.
01:04:25
Speaker
No, they're very different moods. They're the exact same handwriting with two very insignificant minor alterations. My there's no way they could be the same five times in one paragraph.
01:04:38
Speaker
Oh, my my my five times in a letter. I have I have three different types of handwriting like it's not Derek writes like a girl and I love it. You know, Bleep has some of the best handwriting.
01:04:49
Speaker
I bet. Multiple times. say I write like a girl. That's just because it's legible. Yeah. I don't write like a girl. don't know if flourishes. this guy You just got called a girl, dude. Ripped on. Got him. I don't care. i've just like earned and just i've I've been told that when I was younger. It's like, oh, it's like a girl's handwriting. I'm like, what? Because you can read it?
01:05:06
Speaker
Yeah, because you're a psychopath and you concentrate on the shape of every letter is exactly. That's how writing works. Sounds like an autistic person. Oh, I know.
01:05:17
Speaker
I am very artistic. Thank you. Multiple times when we were having parties at the Bleep's house, people were like, dude, your wife has some of the best handwriting. He's like, that's mine.
01:05:28
Speaker
Men are just known, ah or the the penis of the variety are known to have shitty handwriting. yes My my white penis has terrible handwriting. actually i have jacks has I have better penismanship than I do handwriting.
01:05:44
Speaker
if i write my name When you see me write my name on your back wall, ah you will be like, damn, that's good. Look at that penismanship. his his His writing is great, but he still can't spell. Was is not W-U-Z. Jack was here.
01:05:59
Speaker
No, it's supposed to be Jack whiz here. Yeah. I just ran out. but So Benjamin Bratt and Halle Berry go on a date to this rickety little carnival and immediately you're like, oh, well, nothing's going to go wrong here. Dude, they have one of those. These little back alley carnivals have never had a fucking ride go down. This is this is ah This is very cutting edge for one of these, a very ambitious for one of these back alley carnivals.
01:06:21
Speaker
We see these at Knott's Berry Farm in Disneyland where it just takes you to the very top. where You're all sitting. like It's a triangle of seats and your legs are dangling. and it takes you up and just drops you and picks you back up.
01:06:32
Speaker
They have a mini version of that. I'm like, you could barely manage a Ferris wheel at these things. and You want me to get strapped to that and go up and down. Thank you, no. A bunch of fucking sex life, a bunch of drunk methods built that this morning.
01:06:47
Speaker
Yeah. like There's a box next to it right right next to that guy. It says spare parts. Couldn't figure out where they went. Dude, this swap media has a little roller coaster and sometimes I see him with a hammer putting more wood under it. I'm like, that's not scientific enough for me.
01:07:05
Speaker
But yeah, the Ferris wheel gets stuck and it breaks and it's a final destinations fucking carnival, dude. Yeah. The gears start coming apart. So Benjamin Bratz like I'm going to climb down the side of this thing and stop it from breaking.
01:07:18
Speaker
Halle Berry notices this kid's about to fall out. And instead of doing the world a favor, she goes and saves this kid. ah This is why Derek Cates this movie. If they would have let this kid curse flat right here, how would you have felt?
01:07:32
Speaker
I mean, it would have gone up by at least a half a star. Okay. Now we're at a half a star. We can work. Child splats are always good. Not when you say it like that. Going to have to clean that language right up, Pally.
01:07:48
Speaker
I love that. like hes He shoves this wrench in this thing and stops it from breaking and everybody's happy you know because the kid's not dead and all that. And then the carnival just goes on as if nothing happened.
01:07:58
Speaker
Yeah. There was one name. I was um ah trapped for 24 hours in Minneapolis i and they gave us vouchers to the Mall of America and my sister and I are not mall people.
01:08:10
Speaker
So we went to the it was Snoopy's campground or something like that. Oh, yeah. yeah The log ride was shut down because somebody jumped out of it earlier that day. you can just say you were constipated.
01:08:23
Speaker
but we no, they have the actual- Oh, i okay, I see. and When you say log ride shut down, I just think you can't poop. Oh, i'm aim I can't poop in public, period. this this this See, exactly. camp I went to a park and that log ride was shut down.
01:08:38
Speaker
But no, the and but the the park was still open for business. Every other ride was still going. It was just. Now it sounds like you're talking about sex. Like the log ride was shut down, but the park was open for business. Yeah.
01:08:56
Speaker
won't tell you how old I was, man. You know this little Final Destinations carnival's dealt us before. There's some fucking assistant manager named Eric on the back like, all right, fire up the cotton candy. Add the blue. Add the blue right now. We need to start fluffing that up immediately. Get these kids.
01:09:10
Speaker
Play the Kaleope music. Free cotton candy. Free cotton candy all over. Can we fire up that merry-go-round? Get that fuck. I don't care if you have to get out there behind that fucking rooster and start pushing. Or the dragon. Whichever one's your favorite. I don't care. Get the merry-go-round rolling right now. We need their attention off the Ferris wheel.
01:09:26
Speaker
And we want to go down a thing. Oh, but old people, old people that just want to hold on to their, hold on to their wives named Martha.
01:09:37
Speaker
Oh, wait, is it for people in winchers? No, they just hold on to the outside. No, it's for people who are too drunk. They got on one of the moving horses and they were like, this ain't going to work. You were but it's already in motion.
01:09:50
Speaker
You were headed towards the horse. You just felt like just sat down, like kind of plopped. Like this is where I'm at. And then after 30 seconds, they're sitting there like, where's my waitress? need a moons over my hammy.
01:10:02
Speaker
Why is the world spinning? This is the worst bar i've ever been to. Nobody comes around. i can't get off this ride. It's like a merry-go-round with a bun without any fermented bananas. If there was a banana, I'd ride it, and then I would let it ripen, and then I'd let it overripen, and then I would drink it. I would drink a ripe banana.
01:10:22
Speaker
I love how you just slowly devolved into the drunk mongoose. Absolutely. Drunk mongoose has got ride a roller coaster, too. If I was up there, that little kid would have gone splat. I'll tell you what. I don't give a fucking shit about your kids.
01:10:35
Speaker
I love splat. I'm the one to loosen the bolt. I loosen the bolt. Are you the one that loosened it? i did it. I did it. I'm not proud of it, but i'm a little proud of
01:10:46
Speaker
Here's a banana for you. Here's a fermented banana for you. oh thank you for the bananaana cover banana.
Critical and Humorous Scene Analyses
01:10:53
Speaker
But so speaking of Splat, he invites her to dinner so they can have a nice real date and all this stuff. And she's like, I can't because I have some business to take care of. Some an incredibly non-sinister, non-illegal business.
01:11:11
Speaker
Business. I've been watching some more Magnum PI recently, and this is a moment where Tom Selleck looks right to the camera and just spikes the fuck out of that lens. Well, Benjamin Bratt's not a very good cop.
01:11:24
Speaker
No. Well, he's been around by his dick right there. There you go. He's just a Tomcat. all All his blood's out of his brain. He has a barbed wire tattooed around his penis. You guys really didn't pick up on the Tomcat thing. Sure, didn't. I was too busy laughing.
01:11:39
Speaker
Just too smart for me. So she goes and breaks into the Merovingian's house and Sharon Stone is there and they have a little bit of a fight. And like this before we know Sharon Stone has superpowers.
01:11:50
Speaker
No, I do. I do. They. Well, they have. because she comes out and confronts her and they have a little tussle and she fucking hucked Sharon Stone down the stairs. Yeah. And oh yeah like how I was you just threw that woman down 15 stairs at least.
01:12:05
Speaker
Like, she's dead. But we don't know she has superpowers yet. so But she's like, oh, I know that your husband's doing evil shit. And Sharon Stone's like, oh, my husband, huh? Okay.
01:12:18
Speaker
didn't know that. just So this twiddles a mustache. this fucking millionaire supermodel that owns a beauty company is like, take my cell phone with you so I can call you. And it's just like a Nokia from cricket.
01:12:31
Speaker
loooo I mean, it does have FaceTime capabilities. So that's yeah dude. When she calls, I know we're jumping way ahead, but when she calls, it's her throwing her jacket over her shoulder. And she's like, there's like a look back like, Hey, it's me.
01:12:46
Speaker
Like no one answers the phone like that. I think it's just like, um you know how you have a photo contact? It's like a photo. It's a contact video. She has a photo contact of herself in her own phone.
01:12:57
Speaker
Well, it was a spare. She would. when She would. men She's like, you know, it's very, very sexily. Put that phone down the front of her pants. I bet she was leaving and Sharon Stone's like, I'm going to hope it's on vibrate. Yeah. Sex is a word you could use.
01:13:12
Speaker
Derek was like, and I guess keep it now. ah You can keep that fucking gloopy-ass phone. I'll take that gloopy-ass phone. That's what I said. It's so gross. If I put your phone in my vagina. Halle Berry is of obviously a sexy woman.
01:13:27
Speaker
i'm not going to deny it. But she is such a bad actress that I can't see past it. And every time she opens her mouth, i want to punch it. You didn't think that her um the African dialect she was doing in X-Men was believable?
01:13:41
Speaker
No, this is probably why they got rid of it in the second one. It's probably she never even had a fucking accent. Maybe that maybe that's what happened with ah Chadwick Boseman, too. They were like, we don't like that dialect, but we can't recast him. So it was often Disney killed him.
01:13:58
Speaker
Yeah. You better fucking believe it, pal. that's I can do it again. did i ever tell you the story about when i was at a concert in phoenix and he was from russia there was no there's a guy that was jack's story back no no i don't remember i think was atmosphere but read there there's a guy they have like a bathroom attendant so that way you have to tip you have to spend five more dollars to take a piss and so i go in there and there's this guy and he's talking to me while i'm washing my hands and he's like He was talking about something. And then he just goes, well, you know, and it's like Chadwick Boseman. And I'm like, OK, I don't know how we got to this. He's like, we know how they killed him.
01:14:35
Speaker
And I was like exactly where we were. I was like, ah OK. And he's like, yeah. he starts talking about it. And I was like, you know what, man, here, because I had money in my pocket. i had a 10 and I was going to be like, can I get five bucks back because you didn't even hand me a paper towel?
01:14:49
Speaker
um But I just gave him a 10. I was like, okay, thank you. I'm going to go leave now. yeah I have to go. You paid $10 to leave. To live. She takes the phone, ah sneaks into this boring-ass Cirque du Soleil show that the Merovingian went to. oh Hold on. I'm going keep talking. I'm going to take this hit and interrupt you with how great this is.
01:15:08
Speaker
I liked it. This looks like something that his character in the Matrix would be watching in the Matrix. Exactly. It's just people in frilly dresses bouncing around on bungee cords. Yeah, said this is this is lo-fi Star Wars, dude. This is he was about to lean over. Like, have you ever heard of the tales of dark Darth Plagueis the wise?
01:15:27
Speaker
You notice how everybody started cheering when the cat leather clad Catwoman burst through the thing because they were like, Oh my God, something happened. You see that. But that's why they're clapping. There's like, my God.
01:15:40
Speaker
This is this is the scene in um episode three where Anakin is talking with Lord. Yeah, that's what he was talking about. That's it. Yeah. Yeah.
01:15:51
Speaker
Have I ever thought that was no, I did not s think so. There is a power that people consider unnatural. The Jedi mostly do not think. It's if Natalie Portman walked in instead of Anakin because he's like, you are woman. Women do not speak. Do not speak. Do not think. Please go away.
01:16:09
Speaker
This is a ah parameter of our relationship is you do not s think. You do not talk. I am actually only into you for your husband and the way that he makes the kids ah go splat. I like like ah the way your husband kills younglings.
01:16:22
Speaker
Is the mongoose a husband? The women and children too. no Is this the snake that the mongoose's wife left him for? Anakin killed those kids. That's why it's the best Star Wars of the prequels.
01:16:35
Speaker
No, i just I definitely think it's boring as Bungie. This is Cirque du Soleil. and it But it just reminded me a little because they're on this fucking balcony watching this floaty, swimmy thing. Cirque du Soleil.
01:16:48
Speaker
Circus so lame. Yeah. All right. Yeah. That's what they're doing here. I mean, you know, they were like, all right, we need some big fucking production because we just wrote in the script that he's on a balcony. We need something for him to watch. We can't hire ballerinas.
01:17:02
Speaker
I know a couple of fucking meth heads that have bungee cords. We can just bounce off the fucking stealing and flash some lights at him if you want. i mean This is California. They're right outside. That's already what they're doing at home anyway. yeah they're They're already doing it. We might as well put them here. still They just swing the lights in the background. and They're just swinging back. Very wildly.
01:17:21
Speaker
Yeah. Because when they open these rafters, dude, it is a fucking shit show. Gotham to burn. There should someone up there controlling that shit. Right? Yeah. He's too busy. He's at the fucking Ferris wheel. He's double dipping jobs. He forgot where he's supposed to be. When had a rough day at work today, man, I almost killed a kid, but I failed.
01:17:38
Speaker
So I'm going to take tonight off. He's still at the carnival. He's like, wasn't I supposed to work at double today? Why is the carnival closed?
01:17:48
Speaker
But so, yeah, the cops show up, including Benjamin Bratt, and they have a sex fight up on the catwalk. Yeah, they do. On the catwalk. It's a sexy movie. On the catwalk.
01:17:59
Speaker
It thinks it's a sexy movie. It is a sexy movie. You are just a dead inside person. that's That's also true. But you know what? I'm really glad I fucking bought this because we are going to play it with music. We're going put nine inch nails right over it and just have a good old time.
01:18:16
Speaker
I mean, that's actually probably her favorite band ever ever since she put those gloves on. Oh, yeah. yeah that or stray cats.
01:18:24
Speaker
She's like, you know, my favorite Primus song, Tommy the Cat. Of course. You heard that that Aesop Rock's got a great song called Kirby. She would love it. But yeah, they have their sexy catwalk fight.
01:18:37
Speaker
She licks his face and gives him a smooch. And ah she bounces out of there after blinding these guys or shutting off the power. We miss cat scratch fever. Oh, also, does she say? We forgot Ted Nugent?
01:18:50
Speaker
Yeah, we forgot we forgot the Nuge. The Motor City Madman. ah She has this stupid line where she's like, raise your hand if you can see in the dark. And then she then she says, I can. She should have said, like just me?
01:19:04
Speaker
like Raise your hand. I can. I feel like that was ADR. That was one of the reshoot things. Because she's like, raise your hand if you can see in the dark. And then like shoves this wire into this electrical box and all the lights go out.
01:19:15
Speaker
In the original version, she probably just disappeared. But there was somebody at the test screen that was like, I didn't really understand her one liner, though. Yeah. Like, is there like cats can see in the dark, sir? And he's like, well, I didn't know that.
01:19:28
Speaker
Not everybody knows that. Yeah, i'm I'm a dog guy. I've never had a cat. How the fuck would I know a cat can see in the dark? Huh? Okay, sir, we'll have her come in and do the line. You know you should do? You should have her be a dog woman.
01:19:42
Speaker
The dogs are more loyal. They're better. Cat people are no good. And America is greater when dogs are around. I'm just saying. but i know I know you have this cat woman thing, but have you ever tried dog woman?
01:19:55
Speaker
Make America growl again. Yeah. Wiener dog.
01:20:00
Speaker
um There is a scene where ah the mayor of Indiana and Sharon Stone are arguing about like all the stuff that's going on with the face cream, the ass wipe. And this is where we find out that she has superpowers. Like my note says she has superpowers from cancer cream. Question mark. Question mark.
01:20:17
Speaker
Yeah. I think they did a good job of explaining it. Cause like, well, they, they didn't at least so up to this point. All we know is this makes your face melt. And now all of a sudden she has superpowers.
01:20:29
Speaker
And I was thinking, I was like, is this going some stupid thing where she's like, because she's so obsessed with getting this face cream out to the world. Right. But like, she's the only one we've seen who has superpowers from it. Alex Borstein almost died. She does make comment.
01:20:43
Speaker
does make a comment She's overdoing it. Sharon Stone takes a bath in it. That's what I'm saying. She makes a comment earlier on and she's like, well, they'll just have to keep buying it. We want people to buy it because they can't stop. She knew from then.
01:20:59
Speaker
What I was saying was I thought it was going and I'm glad it didn't because it's even dumber than what actually happened. but like I thought it was going to be like, well, i discovered that because I've been using it for years, she says. so She's like, I have like the base, the original recipe,
01:21:13
Speaker
And we just distribute the extra crispy and the people who put that on get it it makes them ugly and it ruins their face, but it sends all their youth and vibrancy to me.
01:21:24
Speaker
I thought that's where they were going with it. And I was like, oh, God, don't do that. No, no, this is pretty simple. We're talking about Gotham, right? A place where villains are born of toxic waste.
01:21:34
Speaker
She's just applying it to her skin over long periods of time. So it's a slow transformation. We might be talking about Gotham. They never actually say Gotham. I mean, we we as us three are. Yeah. DC was like, keep our fucking names out of your fucking mouth.
01:21:48
Speaker
Don't don't you dare. This is like Morbius. when We want to make this. Yeah. We want to have Morbius be in the Spider-Man universe. The fuck you do? This is Marvel, son.
01:22:00
Speaker
The fact that that the Fantastic Four movie that we talked about last week, but you guys haven't seen yet. because we didn't actually record it yet, um was like disappeared from the world because they didn't want to screw up the Marvel brand.
01:22:14
Speaker
Yet DC was like, yeah, we can put this out. It just baffles me. yeah
01:22:21
Speaker
Yeah. doesn't give a shit. they They're like, it's all just money. I mean, this made money, right? I can. Oh no. It lost. It lost. It lost a bunch of money. 20 million. Well, plus marketing fees and but when you said when you said the budget, I was like, they are going to lose their asses.
01:22:38
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And they lost the cheek. So Halle Berry and Benjamin Brack go on a date and she's just shoveling this sushi down. oh and just the fish, not the actual not the well, it's still sushi, though.
01:22:51
Speaker
Right. But no, but when he's point is correct, because the cat wouldn't eat that fucking dirty old rice. She just wants that lean protein, baby. yeah This movie is is accurate. And I like that. He kind of like confesses to her that like Catwoman kissed him and she's like, oh, you like bad girls like when they like me.
01:23:11
Speaker
Actually, no, I don't. I don't like bad girls. Yeah. He goes back on it real quick. He's like, no, no, bad's not for me. i'm i don't know why he said that. I was actually kind of scared that you were going to like like whip me or something. Don't don't hit me hard. I'm very gentle in bed.
01:23:23
Speaker
And then some early 2000 slow jam start. They make out and they fuck. And you know what? That's one benefit I will give this movie because sex movies today can't have sex.
01:23:35
Speaker
Right. I mean, literally in those Wonder Woman movies, we have this woman running around barely wearing clothes and no one's allowed to be attracted to anyone or have any kind of sexual relationship. mean, Chris Pine and her have a relationship, but you're right. It's purely it's purely Oh, purely love.
01:23:52
Speaker
growth there's no There's no sex. Just like in ah the Marvel movies and stuff. They hint at people like having crushes or liking each other. But it's like little kids carlet whi waiting for. I'm waiting for fucking.
01:24:04
Speaker
Well, Scarlet Witch, but she's fucking a robot. So it doesn't count. so like It's just a fucking really fancy dildo. There you go. but Like I'm waiting for ah ah Chris Evans to like write a note to.
01:24:17
Speaker
the girl that he was in love with from the fifty s it's like do you love me check one yes or no hey you know what that netflix jessica jones and luke cage they fucked well yeah but that was dope i'm just saying before like that was before disney clamped down on everything like because that was vice vagina yeah it's just they don't allow sex in Movies and TV shows at all, but especially in superhero stuff. Because the children are seeing it.
01:24:45
Speaker
Yeah. You know what? we all watched it We're fine. Are we? Oh, yeah. I'm going to hand sketch some cat porn later. I'm doing great. but they do fuck and he finds that piece of jewelry and steals a glass i thought for dna evidence but it's just like comparing the lip mark and i'm like this also wouldn't this also wouldn't work though because like it's comparing the lip mark on his cheek to the lip mark on the glass well the glass is a curved cylinder his cheek is not a curved cylinder so that's not again how this works yeah this is well it's it's not a it's not exact science actually sir
01:25:23
Speaker
just puts it He just puts it in the handwriting computer and it's like, sure, this seems pretty similar. They were matching the lines in the lips. These are actually similar kisses, but not the exact same kiss. sir These two women would never love each other. If you get in the same room, though, but you got to party.
01:25:43
Speaker
um So sha then Sharon Stone video calls Halle Berry to come to her house and the Meryl Vinge is there and he's dead and he's all scratched up.
01:25:55
Speaker
yeah like like god Right there. That's the needle drop. Oh, my God. Sharon Stone is evil. I couldn't tell by the way she was acting or her haircut or everything. Just no key of vagina phone she gave me.
01:26:09
Speaker
And ah she sets off this alarm. and So this, again, another thing that doesn't make any sense. So it's fine. But like she shot him and then scratched him up. And then she gives Catwoman the gun and she's like, it's that gun in your hand, pushes a button.
01:26:25
Speaker
Cops are in the in the room like that. Yep. How long ago did she shoot him? can clear this up. This is easy. They didn't hear the gunshots. You're forgetting this is the best movie in the fucking world. um So what happened is that she has a private security force on hand and they were queued up and ready to go.
01:26:44
Speaker
She had called the cops beforehand before
Final Battles and Implausible Plot Twists
01:26:47
Speaker
Catwoman got there. She knew how long it would take them to get there. So it all wraps up perfectly. Her in-house security was trying to detain her as the cops were coming up to lock down the perimeter with Benjamin Bratt and Toe.
01:27:03
Speaker
it's it's a flawless movie I mean a ah so i don't know about flawless flaffel it's not flaw it's not flawless but it is better than you think pal I don't think it it is I just watched it it's not good it's so fun But she gets out of there and gets home and Benjamin Bratt is waiting in her house with a gun.
01:27:30
Speaker
It's a trap. ah um I guess you could take this for me anytime you wanted. if I want to. If I wanted to. If I wanted to.
01:27:42
Speaker
I wonder if anybody ever tried to squeeze Angelina Jolie into this role.
01:27:47
Speaker
Because I could actually see it working. It'd be a better performance. She's like, I just did Tomb Raider. I'm not doing fucking Catwoman, too. Yeah, because I think that was a stinker in the box office, right?
01:27:59
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Okay. But yeah, so he arrests her, takes her in, and he's like, dude, literally all of the evidence points at you. There's nothing. There's no other evidence. And she's like, but there's me.
01:28:10
Speaker
And he's like, oh, that's fair. So I believe you now. Yeah. All of a sudden, you know what? When she looked me in the eyes and said, there's me, I thought, yeah, there is. so Yeah. So to convince everybody that she's not guilty, she breaks out of jail and steals a car. I was waiting for her to do this fucking swim, squeeze through the bars, but I thought it was going to be a CG muck going outside. Yeah.
01:28:32
Speaker
I was glad that it wasn't CG going through the bars. Me too. and And I also was glad when she was like halfway through and one boob was on one side of the bar and the other boob was on the other side of the bar. I've never been more jealous of a piece of metal.
01:28:44
Speaker
She's like she's wearing this like Kill Bill outfit, but it's gray. it's It was fucking Sharon Stones. That's but she because she grabbed it to fucking escape. OK, because she didn't get picked up in the Catwoman outfits. Plausible deniability.
01:29:01
Speaker
ah so Benjamin Brat goes to the beauty cream factory and Catwoman is there at the same time. cream factory. I do like this little this little thing that she does. she like chain She puts a chain on this one semi and then runs it under all the other ones, like around their tires or whatever, and hooks it to the other semi and drives the one away.
01:29:23
Speaker
And it just like pulls the front axles off all these semis. It's kind of fucking it's terrific. Kind of fucking cool. Half a star. We're at one now. That's that' is the literally the best part of the movie. The boob with the bar and the butt cheek.
01:29:36
Speaker
right. That's another half a star. You betcha. So Benjamin Brat confronts Sharon Stone and he's like, what if I told you that I know you're full of shit and this is all a lie and that you're doing it and they your husband nothing to do with it. And she's like, what if i shoot you in the face?
01:29:55
Speaker
It's actually stupid than that because he's like, ah for the right price, I can make the evidence go away. she's like, well, well, how much would you charge? And he's like, oh, got you to admit it. She's like, but why would I admit it? It is the dumbest verbal chess I've ever seen. And he does.
01:30:10
Speaker
he ah if he would have been like i'm recording this uh-huh that's one thing but she's she admitted it to him sure now prove it yeah like he literally like just kind i think that's why she said why would i admit to that because like because like okay so she admitted it to him great so they go to court and he's like oh it was sharon stone it wasn't my girlfriend and the court's like well your girlfriend maybe you have uh i don't know you're not objective in this and you're just trying to protect your girlfriend and he's like no no no way it was definitely sharon stone not my girlfriend And then fucking Benjamin Bratt busts out in a song Guilty as charged It's cop rock all of a sudden Oh I miss cop rock love Benjamin Bratt on cop rock We've got more cop rock coming up this month on patreon.com slash worst people Put it on the screen Hashtag by the way Hashtag ah reboot cop rock Starting it yeah We need it I want the South Park guys to do it though
01:31:05
Speaker
Oh, he'll be whoever did Glee. I don't want that. It's not the hashtag.
01:31:14
Speaker
um But yeah, so she shoots him. Catwoman comes in and saves them. They're running off. The goons are trying to find them. They take these goons out real easy. Like Catwoman takes out Ryu. ah Benjamin Bratt takes out this other dude. Yeah, like injured shot. Benjamin Bratt. It looks like it's going be takes out what I would have. would i but Yeah, I do the shoes things. Oh, no. He got on top of me. Usa in trouble.
01:31:37
Speaker
I thought it was going to be and I wanted it to be a situation where Benjamin Bratt couldn't handle his own and he needed Catwoman to come back and save him. But it's just a addict non it's a non think threat.
01:31:51
Speaker
The thing is, we're running out of time and the credits are coming. So they got to finish. why why are we Why are we going so fast? The credits, they're right there. We have to hurry. And then we have Catwoman versus Sharon Stone.
01:32:02
Speaker
And I did read that one of the slower fights I've seen in a while. Yeah. It's like a grumpy old man. Are you familiar with Zoe Bell? Not by name. Zoe Deschanel. Are you trying to say Zoe Deschanel?
01:32:16
Speaker
No, I think she's Australian. She's a ah stunt woman, but she was also she was Uma Thurman's stunt woman in Kill Bill, and she was also in Death Proof. She was like the blonde the in Death Proof that's like on the hood of the car doing all the crazy stunts and shit. Oh, that lady. She is Sharon Stone's stunt double.
01:32:34
Speaker
Oh, nice. And apparently this part here where Sharon Stone, spoiler alert, takes a ah plummet, ah she won some kind of award for that fall. Nice. So I think the first part of the fall might be CG or a dummy, but the second part of the fall is a real human. I got a little bit of a dummy energy here. That very first part looked like a dummy coming out.
01:32:56
Speaker
Because it was like floppy, full-deaf. Well, with the amount of CG they've used so far, I don't think they're doing a dummy, though. I think they're CG-ing it, but the CG was just like, let's put it in dummy mode. Yeah. and yeah it's It looked like they were like, okay, so from this scene, we'll just throw a dummy out, and then from this angle...
01:33:13
Speaker
you jump out and then we will match them together. Yeah, i I think it was something like I just I feel like just like I said, with it with with the cityscapes being CG and Halle Berry being a cartoon the whole thing. didn't even talk about the talking the talking whip that dances and sings songs. It's just auto unusual to be. It's the sword from Roger Rabbit. Oh yeah.
01:33:37
Speaker
The fucking whip just stay when a problem comes along. You must whip it. We didn't talk about my my absolute biggest laugh was when she was escaping the fucking jail.
01:33:48
Speaker
And she's like, at one point, shows her up against a corner. And these two dudes are walking by. And then she's on the other wall. And she's just all whoop dick his like, what? Yeah. When that happened, I literally was like, what? I laughed so fucking hard, dude, because it's a Bugs Bunny moment.
01:34:03
Speaker
They've done that before, like but it made kind of made sense. like In the jewelry store robbery, she was at the bottom, walked behind a pillar, and then came out up above. Okay, she catwomoned up, and we didn't see it. Great. yeah How did she go through this brick wall? She went up and over, my friend. She jumped into the tiles in a save bandit moment and went up and over and then dropped back down.
01:34:23
Speaker
She John McClained it and went through the air air vents and out the other side. Welcome to the party, pal. But like, yeah, basically Sharon Stone tells her here, like if if people stop using it, their face disintegrates. But if they keep using it and this doesn't sound good at all, your skin is like living marble and you can't feel a thing. Yeah. So like I'll look beautiful, but I won't be able have any sensation in my face. Yeah. Do you want sensation in your face?
01:34:49
Speaker
If I would have used it to masturbate and I have no sensation down there. I want to feel things. I don't. If any part of your body becomes numb permanently, that seems bad.
01:35:01
Speaker
I'll let you know when I get feeling back in my foot. ah I'll let you know when this ah when this sciatic nerve damage in my left leg goes away. Remind me next time. I can feel things there. i just i can't I can't feel a lot of things. i can just feel the pain.
01:35:14
Speaker
fine. Remind me the next time that we're that we're out drinking. i have to show you my wood arm skit that I used to do in my twenty s
01:35:21
Speaker
I'll remind you in an hour. I'm excited. I'm excited. But so, yeah, they have this fight and like there's this glass window at the top that like kind of overhangs.
01:35:33
Speaker
And I'm like, well, this is what's happening here. and This is the worst, worst lines of the movie. Game over. Over time. It's not a sports. It's not a sports movie. It's not as well. And make also so hu game over as a video game thing.
01:35:47
Speaker
Yeah. Overtime is a sports thing. Give me though. Go ahead. No, just give me like a cap pun. Like, I got eight more lives left or something along those lines.
01:35:58
Speaker
You know, that's only my first life, bitch. There's plenty of things you can do. Game over, overtime has no place in this otherwise perfect movie, four and a half stars. But when she's Halle Berry is laying on this window and Sharon Stone's hitting her with this big metal rod and it's cracking the window.
01:36:16
Speaker
And this doesn't make any sense to me. So the window shatters and Halle Berry is holding herself up with her hands. She says overtime and then she takes her hands off and just floats in midair and like thrusts her hips to go forward. Yep.
01:36:30
Speaker
like No, you push. You push with your hands. You can't just fuck your way out of everything, Halle Berry. I think that's what she was trying to go for, but the rope holds her. They were late on pulling the rope.
01:36:45
Speaker
it's i I don't think... I think it's by design. I think they're just trying to, in a very bad way, be like, look at how cat-like she is, where she can, you know, because cats wiggle, wriggle, and jiggle their way in and out of all kinds of mischievous problems.
01:36:58
Speaker
So I think that's what they're trying to do, just in a really bad way. She should have, like, grabbed the top and kind of air-fucked. You know, use your hands. You can air fuck all you want, but use your hands when you're air fucking. I mean, yeah, you'll use your hips to give yourself forward momentum. Sure, that's fine. I'll accept it.
01:37:14
Speaker
But you she just lets go. Yeah. Floats in space for like a solid. Should have let your whip swing.
01:37:23
Speaker
But ah yeah, Sharon Stone ends up falling out the window, plummets to her death in a brutally violent death. Mm hmm. cracked face i didn't see blood or poop but yeah we do see her face her face is all like crinkled up and stuff so i think you're right i think the clay face is what they were going for yeah which i didn't even didn't even make the connection well they didn't do it well enough especially because you are someone that watched the fuck out of the batman batman animated series you're who they're going for so the fact that that was a miss yeah four stars
01:37:55
Speaker
Just went down a half. So I think we're down to one. He's gone down a full star so far. um But yeah, so that's that's the end. That's the end of Sharon Stone. And, you know, we think, oh, she's going live happily ever after with Tom Lone. But he's lone. He's a lone wolf. She sends him this dear Tom letter.
01:38:13
Speaker
And she's like, sometimes I'm good and sometimes I'm bad. And you live in a world that doesn't have room for me. And so it's this like closing monologue that's supposed to mean something. But it's just words. And she sends some art to Ophelia. Yeah.
01:38:25
Speaker
Well, you know what they really should have done here? Because the whole thing is like, I need my freedom. They should have had her leave this city. Like I need to go explore the world. like My whole life started when I died. Let me go see the world.
01:38:38
Speaker
Maybe I visit Egypt for a little bit. But no, she's like, I just want to come and go and have a lot of sex with like you, but also other people too. Like a lot of sex. If you're if you're up at midnight, i'm gonna hitch up for some of that creme. She doesn't ah work. So she gets boyfriends in every country of the world. And so she just travels around the world. Oh, fucking all of her boyfriends and staying in places. she free She still has this fucking plausible deniability because even when she's dressed as Catwoman helping him out, she's like, he's like, come on, patience. She's like, you got me confused for somebody else. yeah So she's going to just go around robbing and stuff like that. Patience is dead.
01:39:14
Speaker
When once, once a month she's in the alley and she's just like, and someone um but but fucking just like, get in here. Shut up.
01:39:26
Speaker
But yeah, that it ends with her doing the her terrible fucking little catwalk thing, hanging out with Midnight, and she says, big LOL, my journey is beginning. Or something along those lines. You know what? i might be off this building I might be the biggest fan of this movie ever. Your journey ain't going nowhere, kid.
01:39:44
Speaker
yeah And that's the end of the movie. Roll credits.
01:39:51
Speaker
Hour 40, not terrible. I looked as soon as I soon as i hit play, i was like, let me just make sure I didn't suggest a two hour and 20 minute Halle Berry Catwoman movie. Because I would have texted you and be like, ah I'm on my way with a fucking ah watermelon and a bottle of Everclear.
01:40:08
Speaker
We're going to drink Everclear and fuck the watermelon. We're not watching this movie.
01:40:12
Speaker
New Patreon content. So we'll go around the horn for recommendations. We'll start with Jack because he's the least obvious. Well, yeah, I'm definitely recommending this. And it's ah it is a terrible, terrible movie.
01:40:25
Speaker
I recommend it for that reason that it is worth seeing why it's so bad. Really had a fucking fun time on my own, not drinking. i was doing the California sober and I still was laughing at some of these dumb idiotic things. The CG is so fucking terrible that it's laughable.
01:40:42
Speaker
um This is a movie that I wish I would have watched with not only you guys, but bleep. This is the kind of shit that even before was in a podcast that me and bleep would do all the time. So I'm really glad I bought it for $4.99. It is a one star movie, but man, is it fun.
01:40:58
Speaker
But you gave it four? No, it's a one-star move. I'm joking about giving it four stars. I might give it like if our thumbs are more of a recommendation than a rating, but it's it's like Classy Alcoholics said, worst I've ever seen. I loved it.
01:41:12
Speaker
OK, I'm kind of on the same lines as you. I didn't hate it as much as husband did. There were definitely the CG cat woman pissed me off.
01:41:23
Speaker
You all know that I didn't like the cat woman, but I didn't hate patients. Also sexy movie.
01:41:31
Speaker
I don't know if they knew they were doing a PG 13 movie. he It's like, well, how far can we take this? yeah I mean, the director is French, so. Well, there you go. um and I have not even shown one nipple.
01:41:45
Speaker
the The director was also a huge fan of the matrix and of ah hackers. Yeah. So there you go. I am. So you're kind of. I need Jack's caveats. you You need to have company that you can laugh and make jokes with and not sit and have to take notes for. yeah um Yeah. Don't watch this movie. This movie sucks. It's not. It's not even like a seeing is believing in my opinion. It's just like watch the trailer.
01:42:14
Speaker
Is this your Miami connection? You're not going to get any of the subtleties, dude. When she robs the bank. Subtlety like what? There are no subtleties. This movie na is like. When she robs like the bank. like ah sexy ham.
01:42:28
Speaker
There's no subtlety. love sexy ham. Oh my God, I love a sexy ham. When it's nice and thin and the tomato's nice and perky. and it's When she robs the bank, the jewel place, and they're like, what do we call her? Cat broad?
01:42:40
Speaker
What about cat cat lady? Cat person? Cat... Catatonic. Hilarious. You're just fucking catatonic. I'll take your word for it.
01:42:54
Speaker
Subtle, like a sexy ham. ah So that has been 2004's Catwoman directed by Pitof. Five paws.
01:43:05
Speaker
ah Stay tuned because we'll be back in one week as we always are. We'll be talking about for our schlock and load episode, which was I had trouble thinking of because it's a month of schlock.
01:43:16
Speaker
But Jack had a great suggestion. I did. Nine is the Punisher. Oh, I did. with Dolph Lundgren and I was like fuck yeah put it on the list and then discovered that it's not streaming anywhere yeah but it is available on YouTube but and I'm sure there's DVDs out there I guess maybe marvels Disney Marvel is trying to hide it because they've got stuff going on with the Punisher I was going to say there's no way there's not a ah boutique place but you just you just nailed why there's not Yeah. And I mean, there may have been something in the past. I just don't I've never seen anything.
01:43:49
Speaker
Let me see if there's I'm Googling Punisher 1989 Blu Ray. um it It looks like it looks like at one point Umbrella, which is a company I really like from Australia, like did put out the Punisher on Blu Ray, but I think it's out of stock out of print right now.
01:44:05
Speaker
So you're going to pay $100 for it. And I'm not doing that. But it is available on YouTube. It's probably on like Daily Motion and that kind of stuff. But I did definitely find it on YouTube. So if you guys want to watch it, it's there.
01:44:17
Speaker
I don't know what the quality is, but doesn't matter because it's worth watching. And then, of course, we have our Patreon at patreon.com slash worst people where there's a shit ton of extra content. ah This month's mental health episode is 1978 Superman, which we've already recorded. And it's a good episode.
01:44:35
Speaker
um But you don't just get this month's episode. You get all the ones that we've done. So I think that's like our 17th one. So there's 16 more episodes. Yeah. Our first three dollars a month. First was quick into dead. Right.
01:44:47
Speaker
With Sharon Stone. Yeah. are There's no ads either. Right. No ads on Patreon. Oh, man. As of recording right now, our first Patreon was Gene Hackman and our most recent Patreon was Gene Hackman.
01:44:59
Speaker
Wow. Yeah. And our first Patreon had Sharon Stone and today's episode had Sharon Stone. Sandwiches. Like as subtle as a sexy ham. Synergy, dude.
01:45:09
Speaker
it And then, of course, we have Latchkey Vids on there as well, where we are back to discussing Cop Rock. And this month we are talking about the sixth episode. We haven't recorded it yet. I'm sure it'll be awesome. What's more disgusting?
01:45:22
Speaker
Ordering cream straight up at a bar, ordering cream on the rocks at a bar. Straight up. Straight up. Oh, I think on the rocks is grosser. Well, because like. You got to hope that cream is chilled.
01:45:35
Speaker
Yeah. Either way. Just don't order cream at a bar. Easy fix. Easy fix, to be sure to be sure. And, of course, i have to thank Evasion for providing our opening and closing music because they rock and they're there to support us. Yes, go see them live. They are a fucking great show.
01:45:52
Speaker
I don't think they have a show coming up right now that I know of, but... Request them to play somewhere. yeah Oh, do you know who was awesome that we told you guys to go see and that we went and saw? Swigfoot. Swigfoot and any show that we see that we're coming that we know we can go to we're going to promote.
01:46:07
Speaker
Yeah. Oh yeah. ah Check them out even if we're not going. they're phenomenal. The phenomenal. not So that that's been it. that but there that's a bet that' that I'm Whitney. So that's been it. Dude, you don't get nine lives when it comes to outros. so That's been it for this week.
01:46:25
Speaker
I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm loving it. Hey, man's sandwich, 12 o'clock. Ow!
01:47:03
Speaker
Zardar's nose. Zardar's nose? Look at my nose. It's right above my beautiful mustache. oh I had a catwoman once. I watched her lick her own butthole.