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Accepting Others Exactly Where They Are
160 Plays3 years ago
One of the hardest parts of being human is having to deal with other humans. That is because they aren't us. They have totally different brains, thoughts, opinions and ideas. And that can be EXTREMELY frustrating. Dani and Kels are going to get into why while other people can drive you crazy, taking a deep breath, removing yourself and accepting them where they are is usually the best course of action.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome to Awake and Bake, an educational, high vibrational, mystical, spiritual, hot, I'm sorry, podcast from two girls, one joint, and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us.
00:00:16
Speaker
In the words of the wise was Khalifa, let's roll something and get the day started. Hello, good morning, tomorrow, good day. What's up, motherfuckers?
Shifting Focus to Acceptance
00:00:25
Speaker
All right, you guys. So today we have a nice kind of change of pace episode. This is a topic that's like, it's nice and light. Because we've done a lot of heavy shit lately.
00:00:38
Speaker
And there's a lot of heavy shit happening in the world recently and we will be addressing that later on in the week but we wanted to just kind of start off with like a nice little like almost like a reset for your mind. And a good reminder when things like all of this are happening. This is like so basically today we're going to talk about accepting people where they are.
Friendships Reflecting Self
00:01:00
Speaker
And meeting people where they're at. Yeah.
00:01:03
Speaker
Yeah, Danielle. So, yeah, I mean, just the way that I see it is like, on one hand, right? We are multifaceted people. We are multifaceted beings. And so it makes sense that we can have friends to bring out and reflect the different parts of us, but they don't have to reflect every part of us. They don't have to perfectly, you know, line up with how we feel.
00:01:26
Speaker
And also, there's a difference between having moral issues with someone and then not having the exact same opinions, right? And I think it's important that we learn to love and accept our differences as long as they don't come to a moral issue. And an
Journey of Acceptance
00:01:40
Speaker
example I mean of this is I actually recently had a conversation with somebody who I love and adore, and she was talking about how
00:01:47
Speaker
she's at a certain place in her journey. And the people around her like are not supportive of it and stuff. And how she was like, you know, I would never, I would never do this type of practice, or I would never do that type of practice, or I would never try to do this thing. I'm only trying to do these things. I'm only trying to branch out in this way. And she was listing a couple things that I was actually totally okay with. But I don't think they're that big of a deal. But I can, I still love like the path that she is on. Like she doesn't have to be ready for all the stuff I'm ready for. You know what I mean? Like,
00:02:16
Speaker
She doesn't have to get as intense with her spiritual practice. Your spiritual practice is super unique to just you. So that's just a good example. And then also understand, you guys, sometimes we are not our best, and that applies to others, obviously. And their journey and their pace will
Personal Growth and Communication
00:02:34
Speaker
not look like ours. And I just have to say it. I cringe. I'd be old, Danny. Holy fuck. Like, honestly,
00:02:42
Speaker
I had no clue how angry and confused and cringy I was and that I sounded, even around like 21 years old. Holy fuck. I think part of the reason I deleted Facebook was so that I wouldn't have to read any more of my statuses from, I don't know, like 2009 when I was a freshman. Text me, bored, like things that were like, oh no.
00:03:06
Speaker
Oh my god. Or like little like cries for like not really cries for help but like dramatic cries for help of like oh my god like my brother's such a jerk dot dot dot dot dot dot like oh my god. That's hilarious bitch. Yeah like and I remember too like so I was always I've always been a very I want to say like I just want to say like I have like I've always had a progressive mindset.
00:03:31
Speaker
Even when I didn't really know, yeah, I didn't understand what all these terms meant. I'm still learning. I'm still educating myself every day, but I've always wanted to do better and try to be as inclusive as possible. But there were times when I was younger where I was trying so hard to represent and stand for something.
00:03:53
Speaker
that I ended up just being so fucking cringy and doing it like in the wrong ways, like possibly like not misrepresenting it, but it's like, damn, Danny, like it was not your job to really bear this burden, like chill out. Like I just cringe at like that type of thing. And I thought I knew everything and it's like everything I knew at that time, I still fully stand behind. I just know that there are smarter, better, more effective ways of addressing it and getting people to understand my feelings now. You know what I mean?
Maturity and Growth Differences
00:04:22
Speaker
So try to also like remember like I feel like sometimes on our spiritual journey, we kind of get on our high horse and we like write people off if they're not where we are either emotionally or spiritually or maybe even if we're like, Oh, they're not like mature enough. Like, it's like, well, yeah,
Healing Family Conversations
00:04:37
Speaker
like, is there an age difference there? Is there a trauma difference?
00:04:39
Speaker
there like right like you don't have to be your best friend but you can absolutely meet them where they're at and still like enjoy your time with them especially if they're a co-worker if they're just like a friend who like I feel like sometimes well when we say you might disconnect with people on your spiritual journey sometimes that gets taken like really far and people are like sorry like you're just not on my level you don't think you're an alien like me like I can't I can't and like I get it bitches like I want I want okay can I do a small tangent please
00:05:08
Speaker
So, so yesterday my mother and I had like a breakthrough and it was really, really important. It was super good. It was so healing and honestly guys, fun fact, you know how we say when you let go of what doesn't serve you make room for what does. Yes. So like, I have been having a hard time getting super high recently. And I let out so many emotions and my mom got to like, we got to let them out with each other and communicate and like really like see eye to eye with each other and get new perspectives. And it
Meeting People at Different Stages
00:05:35
Speaker
was such a good talk. And I've been getting high as fuck since then.
00:05:38
Speaker
You know when you have a good cry too? Like that post cry cry or a post cry hi. Yes. Whatever. Anyways, so I just try to remember like that we it's just like it can really get like we get on our high horse sometimes and it's really us. Sometimes it's really us. Oh, yeah.
00:06:01
Speaker
And so a few examples I wanted to like give, right? Of like meeting people where they're at. Cause like, yes, there are, I think there's some that we just don't even think about. And then there's also some that aren't as dramatic as like, for example, okay. Like some situations to consider if someone is leaving like an unhealthy church or religion or in an extreme case, also like a cult and it's, you know, they're not going to be fucking ready for you to like give them a full tarot reading and then be like,
00:06:26
Speaker
Next, I will guide you through an ayahuasca retreat like no bitch like they are not ready for that they are literally nowhere near ready for that but that's okay you can literally still hang out and be friends with them just because they're not into what you're into their own unique journey and I love like that vibe like you love the path they're going in love like.
00:06:46
Speaker
Hey, that's for them. You were never in that position, but this is the position that they're in. So like personal victories, I feel like we have to acknowledge. Like personal victories are huge. They should be celebrated just as much as like big public ones. You know what I mean? Oh, definitely. And then also another example that I wrote was like, so say that someone's leaving.
00:07:05
Speaker
a very controlling household, right? With like, maybe subconscious programming to say that you're like a woman who is in a marriage where you feel like you have to serve your husband, your husband is very controlling, it's what he says, like, you don't have any type of independence of your own, you might have like, even financial hold over you, you know what I mean?
00:07:23
Speaker
And say that this bitch all of a sudden is like, yeah, you know what? I'm able to get divorced. I'm ready to walk away and they've never known anything other than this. That's awesome. But they might not be ready to be going out to the club with you, titties out, fully independent lifestyle, girl boss, girl hustle. They might
00:07:43
Speaker
really not be ready for that. They might be having the daily mental breakdowns. They might still have some subconscious programming that they have to undo and they might even say some things that you don't agree with. Like I just feel like I have so many friends in different situations and circumstances and we all have such different viewpoints and outlooks on life because of not even just our trauma but just where we come from, what our experiences are, like how we see things.
Privilege and Socio-Economic Growth
00:08:05
Speaker
Like if someone grew up in like such a
00:08:07
Speaker
heavy, heavy, heavy religious background. They're gonna see things completely differently than I am as someone who, yes, I was, for lack of a better word, forced into the Catholic religion at a young age, but I will say my parents, they are not, I will say they're not good Catholics. We didn't go to church or anything. We didn't pray and stuff. But they were very like, well, you have to go to a Catholic school and you'll get confirmed and say you're Catholic, whatever.
00:08:37
Speaker
But I was able to literally be like, no, I'm not Catholic. And my dad was just like, curses, that sucks. But I wasn't forced, you know what I mean? Right, right. So I'm at a place where I'm very bold with my spiritual practices and decisions. And I've had years. I've been thinking about spirituality since I was in first grade and was in church and was like, I don't know, man. I'm not in questions.
00:09:04
Speaker
But it's like things like that. And then also something a lot of us, I'm finding this the order I get, right? For those of us who grew up, maybe you grew up in poverty, maybe you grew up like lower class or like and had financial issues. Like there are, I feel like I know of so many like young people who I have met in my adult life who come from very privileged, like rich backgrounds.
00:09:31
Speaker
and like they are like oh yeah like I started my own clothing company
Checking the Spiritual Ego
00:09:35
Speaker
but it's like just a merch line which hey no shame in that kind of sneak you to literally just a merch merch line people are always like oh you have your own clothing line I'm like I don't I don't I slap my hashtag on stuff like it is don't call it a clothing line but like you know what I mean like so say that like maybe you're 21 or you're 18 you came from like a hella privileged background so like
00:09:55
Speaker
I started my own business and I was able to do that with my mom and dad's help and that's awesome. That's honestly what we all want is to be able to help our children out. I don't want them to have to struggle to be able to survive. But if you're someone who didn't grow up in that type of situation, then you being 18 or 21, no one is expecting you to be a fucking self-made millionaire. I just feel like I meet a lot of people who they don't realize even the privilege that they have.
00:10:22
Speaker
Yeah. And they've been privileged their whole life. And like, not to say I haven't. I'm a white woman in America. Right, right.
00:10:30
Speaker
But hey, my family does not have money. We have our own issues. My family's awesome. I love them. And we're getting stronger every day. It's awesome. But I'm just saying. I know some bitches that are like, I just don't understand. I used to do this and this and this and this. And I'm like, you haven't left the country? And I'm like,
00:10:53
Speaker
you don't have your passport. And I'm like, do y'all understand like what my childhood and adolescent experience was like? I promise you leaving the country was the last thing on my radar. Like I was looking to regulate my nervous system. Like, you know, survival was key. So like we got to meet people where they're at. Like we have to like really like
00:11:17
Speaker
just check ourselves, I guess, for lack of a word. And like I said, we can get on our high horse sometimes with spirituality and even be like, oh, well, they're not as awake as we are. Or like, they're not, you know what I mean? I want them to see, especially, it's not even out of our, I mean, it is egoic, of course, but it's not even out of a conscious ego where we're like, they're wrong, I'm right. But it's like, once you're awake to something, it makes you so happy you have so much clarity. You're like, bitch, I wanna tell everybody. I mean, this is why I have
00:11:47
Speaker
Like, that's our whole thing. But it's just important to remember, you just have to make people aware of their app because their personal life experiences that oftentimes we don't know about really do shape the way that they see things and the journey and the path and the timing of the way they experience the world and what they uncover and unlearn or decide to do. You know what I mean?
Natural Growth in Relationships
00:12:11
Speaker
It's just so fascinating. It is.
00:12:15
Speaker
a minute from a place of compassion and trying to relate to someone instead of trying to make ourselves so different, it's way easier to meet someone where they're at, you know what I mean? Yes, completely. So I just said like so much, my face got hot, let's take a quick ad, I'm gonna hit this pen and then we'll get back into it.
00:12:41
Speaker
All right, guys, welcome back. Yeah, there's like, okay, so this was all prompted. I don't know, one morning I just had this, there was something that specifically started it, and I'm sure when I'm talking, I'm gonna remember it. But as Danny was talking, I feel like one of the things that I keep thinking and imagining, remembering, I guess, what this keeps triggering, is I keep thinking of all the people that I've met in my life who I've
00:13:09
Speaker
had that is intuition old feeling of like, oh my god, this is a this person's got it, like they've got everything, but they might not be like
Acceptance and Growth
00:13:20
Speaker
their voice might not match their energy, if that makes sense. What they're doing in their actions don't quite match their energy, but you can recognize like, oh, but they have that energy, they have that there. And so like, I've been able to and I have like, it's cool now to look back and be able to like, look at the people that when I first met them, I had that feeling of like, okay, yeah, they might, I might not vibe with them completely right now, but like, they've got it.
00:13:43
Speaker
And now I can look back, you know, years down these relationships and be like, see, because I was able to sit there and be like, oh, okay, I get what you're saying. I get what you're about. You don't, maybe don't get it now. Maybe we're not on the same page, but I accept you and I allow this relationship to grow from where we both are. And now I can think and look at them and be like, oh my God. And now you get it. Like now we're in the same place or we found this plate. We found this connection. We found this common area, this common ground to then build an even stronger foundation.
00:14:13
Speaker
because we allowed ourselves to be who we were and then also like encouraged each other to grow. I think one of the things that we forget about is that the first step that we tell you about in your spiritual journey is to accept yourself because that's what you need to feel to then be able to move forward. And so the first step that we have to do for anyone else that we want to have any sort of journey, any experience is accept them for where they are because they need to feel that acceptance outwardly.
00:14:42
Speaker
Um, so like that's just allowing others to then continue
Opinions and Relationships
00:14:45
Speaker
their journeys, to continue their spiritual journeys, whatever it is.
00:14:48
Speaker
but accepting them gives them that space and that opportunity to grow and be okay with what they are because they have to accept themselves. Yes, because if you immediately just like cut them out or like for, you know, if you say, oh, like they're canceled. No, I don't fuck with you because you don't, you don't perfectly agree with me, but morally you still align. Right. It's like, there's no reason to do that. That's like, that's wild because also a truly enlightened person knows like we are all one, no one's right or wrong.
00:15:18
Speaker
It's funny, one of the things like, one of the triggers of like this idea for me, this topic idea for me was a talk I had with my husband about Lizzo. Anyone who knows me knows that I fucking love Lizzo. She's like one of my favorite artists.
00:15:32
Speaker
ever. I talk about Lizzo with Kelsey. Kelsey talks about Lizzo to me every single day and I am here for it. I fucking love Lizzo. Um, so it came out for my husband that he actually doesn't like her. Um, or he doesn't not, whatever. He doesn't like her the way I do. Um, and I had this like moment of like, like this, it was like glass shattering of like, Hey, it's okay that he's wrong.
00:16:00
Speaker
Like he can be wrong. Like I have to let him be wrong. And I understand, and I don't say that like, you know, the high horse Danny was talking about earlier. I'm not saying that for my high horse. I'm saying that from like, in my reality, in my world, if he does it, if someone chooses not to like someone, that doesn't affect me. That's okay that he's there.
00:16:19
Speaker
but when I'm famous and Lizzo and I are best friends, he won't be partying with us. That's unfortunate for him. But like that's where he is. Exactly. That's where Danielle comes in. So like we have to like, there's no, when someone isn't agreeing with you or doesn't, doesn't have the same opinions as you, pushing back on that does nothing for this relationship. It does nothing for them. It does nothing for you, but allowing it and just realizing that, like taking that second to be like, okay, does this actually affect me? No.
00:16:48
Speaker
Now, do you have
Leading by Example
00:16:49
Speaker
to carry on that conversation and allow yourself to get worked up? But no, that's where being present, being able to control your emotions and step away from, that's where things get messy. But you have that power to just recognize and be like, oh, wait, this doesn't matter to me. One of the other parts of this, accepting people where they are and friendships specifically, that I wanted to mention was we need to accept our friends as they are.
00:17:16
Speaker
I read this article or was a video there's girls talking about your friends and if they're like if you have a friend who's always 15 minutes late, and you get so mad about this every time you know we make this plan that 15 minutes late that 15 minutes late.
00:17:30
Speaker
why don't you add 15 minutes to your time? Like, if you know this person's gonna be late and you know that they're late with everyone, you know that they're late to, like, everything, it's not a personal thing, it's not anything, it's just who they are, then, like, you have to step back and realize, okay, right, this isn't about me. This is just who they are. Yes! And allow it. Or, like, all my friends know with me. I won't call you back. I'm sorry, but thank you for accepting me where I am. You're welcome.
00:17:58
Speaker
And I just think, yeah, like we have to, we spend so much time worrying about where our friends are, where everyone is. And we wanting to give advice and wanting to, you know, be like, oh, this is what you should do. Oh, you should meditate for five minutes. Oh, you should do this. And I think it's so much more important to allow
00:18:13
Speaker
others to grow their natural way and just kind of lead by example and show, you know, if you have a friend who you're like, I really want them to get into this, talk about it with them. Talk about how much fun or how much it helps you and the way that it helps you, you know, like don't make it about them. Don't just use your own experiences and your own positivity and your own positive interactions to then help shape others. Lead by example. Monkey see, monkey do. People are stupid. Oh my God. I'm not telling you to manipulate, but I'm telling you to manipulate.
00:18:44
Speaker
Oh my god, oh my god, I'm too high for this. First of all, you lost me at monkey, see monkey do because I started thinking about monkey. My dog, my dog monkey. Not a monkey. Yeah, my dog who is named monkey. Mr. Monkey, my best friend. Yes, he's the sweetest boy.
00:19:07
Speaker
But yeah, guys, just
Closing Encouragement
00:19:08
Speaker
go easy on each other. Look at us both saying, yeah, guys. Go easy on each other. Accept your friends who they are. And like, if someone's energy is great, and they kind of say weird stuff or whatever, they're like, don't write them off. Let it be. Let everyone grow. Like, you don't have to be their best friend. You don't have to. But like, hey, peace and love. Peace and love. I hope you find the peace your piece. Peace. That's what we say. Exactly.
00:19:35
Speaker
You guys stay tuned because Thursday we're getting into the bands on our bodies that the unfortunate reality that we are living in right now but we're here to help us all get through it with love and with strength and courage and yeah I really
00:19:55
Speaker
I think everybody, I really encourage you to tune in. This coming Thursday, it's going to be an amazing episode. It's going to be a really empowering episode. And we're going to take something that is scary for a lot of people, and we're going to turn it around. We're going to remind you why the fuck we're here. Exactly. Right now. Exactly. So get excited, love yourself, and stay high, bitch. Bye.