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EP. 29 Best Moments from 2 Guys 1 Screen in 2024
186 Plays1 year ago
The guys recap their favorite moments from the podcast from this year. They also give out some movie superlatives. thanks for all the support in our first year!! Share this episode with a friend!
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Email the pod at 2guys1screenpod@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 29 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast. My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. And today, I'm pretty hyped for this. It's our best of two guys one screen episode recapping the year. I will say i will say this, these moments are only up to ah Moana to and Moana to did not make it into this so it's basically up until Moana to not include Moana to you, right? All that being said we recorded you guys have already heard it ah gremlins and black Christmas wait Definitely would have had some moments on this list, but they will be for next year ah So what we're gonna do we're gonna play some clips for you guys.
Podcast Highlights and Funny Moments
00:00:50
Speaker
We'll react to them I think what we decided was we're gonna go in chronological order
00:00:55
Speaker
Uh, just to make it easier. We're not going to rank them and impossible. No, because they're also funny and some of them are very, very short. Uh, and then after that we have some movie superlatives.
00:01:08
Speaker
ah They're only for for the 2024 releases. We'll go through those. Some movie suppositories? Suppository. You can supposit that right in my ass. Let's go. ah We also have ah some physical media awards to give out. There's only two of them. um But maybe we'll riff and find something else.
00:01:30
Speaker
All right. So we'll get into this. ah There's going to be, there's going to be a lot of the swoosh sound effects in this episode. So swoosh. Yeah. Like when we go back and forth between the i know fancy editing. Yeah. I do that on the episode sometimes when it gets really hectic. Um, actually let's do right before that. We'll do a little plug it in. So follow us on Instagram. Two guys, one screen pod and then your comments, concerns, movie requests.
00:02:00
Speaker
your favorite moments from this year to two guys, one screen pod at gmail dot.com. Follow us on letterbox and follow us on tick tock. Links will be in the description. Tick tock. We got like two weeks left. So make it, make it happen guys. Make it count.
Early Episode Reflections and Growth
00:02:19
Speaker
Um, our first episode was vacancy. We are the 2007 podcast still can confirm that.
00:02:29
Speaker
so Still can confirm we're the 2007 podcast. ah That episode, I believe, posted way back in August of this year. ah Excuse me while I try to use me on the fly here. Can I pull down your fly? yeah Dude, we should review the fly for the podcast. Great. Oh, yeah, we should.
00:02:52
Speaker
I'd come all over that. Episode one vacancy released August 7th of this past year. We do say we do have a moment pulled from that. um This is we had a bit of a fiasco going on. Let's just say this, the biggest load I was ever going to give Gerald ah was going to ah go was missing. it It got redirected to Puerto Rico. We don't know why.
00:03:21
Speaker
Uh, but here is that clip for you guys. Whoosh. He found the saw 4k steel book, no slipcover for six bucks. And he already had it. So he asked me and I said, of course, pick that up immediately. I got released. No big deal. But, uh, he sent it to me and it's last noted in Puerto Rico.
00:03:46
Speaker
Dude, can the USPS, look, I know they're busy and they got a lot, I can't even fathom how much mail gets sent and delivered on a daily basis, but if the lady at the post office in the area that I live is listening to this, fuck you.
00:04:06
Speaker
First of all, fuck you. She asked you and she put it in completely wrong. Wrong state, wrong everything. ger Gerald and I, if we we both have a list of films we're looking for physically, I typically only send Gerald like four to five films at a time. And ah even five is kind of pushing it. Right.
00:04:25
Speaker
But I had 10, the biggest load I've ever sent. How you doing? How you doing? Dude, I had two Ghibli steals in there, which I don't know if you guys know those Ghibli steals are kind of hard to find.
00:04:38
Speaker
Studio Ghibli Steelbooks and a bunch of other stuff and I write his address as I've written several times and I bring it to the the the lady at the front and she looks like she's asleep or that she's just taking a nap and someone just woke her up to be there. um I give her the box and I'm like, I want to send this.
00:05:02
Speaker
And again, remember the last time, very aggressive with the box flipping? I'm like, there's fragile stuff in there, and you're just caution to the wind. If we put a steel book in there, we need to tell her that it's fragile now. I have to, because she's an idiot. Also, this was a different woman than last time. It was not the same woman. So this is the second problem I've had at this place. OK. I gave her the box, and without doxing where you live, the state was New Jersey.
00:05:29
Speaker
um This lady puts in Fort Wayne, Indiana. i don't I don't know if you guys are very up on your United States ah geography. New Jersey is nowhere near Indiana. And it takes two days. When we send stuff, it's a day, maybe two days. And this lady puts in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And I'm like, what are you doing? I almost i almost signed off on it. And I was like, oh, is this is fucking Fort Wayne, Indiana.
00:05:59
Speaker
So I told her, I was like, hey, you got to change it. it's Oops. Cut that. I will cut that. Oh, fuck. I'm going to mark a clip there so I know. OK. Dude, it's so funny that I just like said your fucking address. ah Hey, it was episode one, right? We were our first episode i'm trying to get in there. I found I sound very unconfident when I talk. I do. you I mean, it was our first episode.
00:06:28
Speaker
That is what it is. I'm still not confident when I talk, but I feel like I'm a little... We're We're getting the reps in. We did end up... That did end up arriving, I think it was by the Romulus episode. It showed up. That's correct. That bitch got there. Everything was like fine. Fine. ah That does include the $5 Saw Steel Book, which is still unbelievable. Unbelievable. It has been watched since then.
00:06:58
Speaker
And I liked it or she didn't like it three and a half right something like that three three and half something like that She said it's you know, it's not for her but she didn't really She didn't like the big surprise reveal at the end like everybody else does. She's like, oh okay. I eat that shit up Still still get you why I didn't know he was alive
00:07:19
Speaker
come me again Son of a bitch Our next clip is from our second episode which was cuckoo that came out ah Also in August a week later, I think cuckoo low-key is one of our wildest episodes Yeah, it's one that it gets forgotten about because the movie's so fucking mid Sure, and then we just kind of like oh, I guess me i I kind of like go everywhere with it. I don't go a fuck at that point. I Yeah, I mean, we went we went crazy in this episode. The reason why I pulled this clip and not other ones like snatch liquid, which is all time. ah This is the the inception of the fuck you, Mark. So as you guys know, we say fuck you. I mean, I say fuck you, Mark, at the end of every episode. And Mark, if you're listening right now, fuck you. Go fuck yourself. ah This is the inception of fuck you, Mark. It's always episode two. So we hope you enjoy this clip. Cue the transition noise.
00:08:18
Speaker
Then you were kind enough to send me a Blu-ray five pack of the Jurassic Park franchise. Just missing the last one. Uh, again, this is one of the ones that I had to digi code already. And then when I opened it, I saw it in there and I was like, Oh, digi code. And I was like, this is the same exact same one. Same thing. Now, actually more of the story I'm retarded. Actually, that one's not the same. The digi that I gave you was from my five pack steelbook, which now you're,
00:08:47
Speaker
Your other friend found the same store? Same store I traded it into and she bought it for $30 and was kind of mad that I told her it was mine and I could have just gave it to her for free. Shout out Autumn, we know you're listening. Please listen. Please listen, we're begging. Fuck you Mark.
00:09:08
Speaker
Um, no, shout out Mark. Kind of. ah Yeah. Fucking. Kind of shout out Mark. Fake Canadian that you are. What? Do you sound so fucking weird when he talks?
00:09:23
Speaker
Mark, we obviously love you, but also go fuck yourself. And you do talk very weird. Really go fuck yourself. Um cuckoo again tech of that episode. It's uh, it's it's we said a lot of wild shit in that episode a lot of shit, um for a mid-ass movie, but Sorry, that was supposed to be our debut episode. We talked about ah ne Yeah, and we decided to do a dry run with vacancy and then that ended up being the debut I remember I was like it's done. Let me just post it. Fuck it
00:09:53
Speaker
um Our next clip or or part is from episode 3 which was Alien Romulus shit-ass movie and I mean, this clip is an all-timer. This is like, this is also the the first clip I made for the podcast. And I thought that I was like cooking. It's still pretty decent. It's not terrible, ah but the clips have gotten better ever since. This is, we also tried to record this podcast in person and it went horribly. I mean, it couldn't have went any worse than it went. Behind the scenes, um basically there was like an echo the entire right episode.
00:10:32
Speaker
So, and then I tried to edit the echo out, and we posted the episode, and then there was a big ass gap in the middle of it. Like, out of nowhere. For like, RKO. For like, five minutes. Like, just no, it's like silence. So I had to take it down and repost it. But actually still does pretty decent as far as views. So, ah anyways, here's our Merry Fuck Kill ah clip from episode three of the Two Guys One Screen podcast.
Games and Humorous Debates
00:11:02
Speaker
Mary fuck kill the fly Chucky when you say the fly you mean like the fly that like flew into the little thing half-man half-fly, but the Jeff Goldblum version Okay, do I get do I get to do I get any part of Jeff Goldblum? He's just full-blown fucking ugly monster Full blown not the end of the movie you get where he's like everything's like falling off like his ears falling off He's spitting out shit, so Mary fuck kill Chucky mm-hmm Brundle fly or Stuart Little.
00:11:36
Speaker
All right, well, immediately. Actually, it's not that easy, I don't think. No, it's not. All right, I think I'm marrying Chucky. OK. No. This is bad either way.
00:11:58
Speaker
I'm marrying the fly because once we get- like we get married, I just gotta kiss the bride, which is like a peck. That's fine. I'm killing Stuart Little because I will never fuck a mouse. You know, I'll fuck the doll. Okay. Wait, is Chucky alive? He's like Chucky? He's Chucky, like full- He's not like just the Chucky doll, it's the- Right, it's when his soul is completely taken over the body. So I'm fucking the criminal. Essentially. He'd probably bite my dick off.
00:12:28
Speaker
I probably would. Charles Lee Ray coming for that dick. Oh wait, but what was your merry fuck kill? are You do it. Don't make me just do it. Yeah, you gotta do it too. Okay, that's fine. I'm gonna marry Stuart Little. Really? Yeah, why not? Gonna kiss that mouse? Come here. Alright. I could probably stick his whole head in my mouth. Talk about a head fuck, you know what I'm saying? Probably sticking up your ass like a gerbil. That's fine.
00:12:56
Speaker
Alright, well the question is now who you fucking? You fucking the fly or you fucking Chucky? Uh, you gotta fuck the Chuck. I think we're both fucking Chuck. Even though he says don't fuck with the Chuck. Do you know what's funny? Is he can't fuck you. That's right, cause he has no dick. He's got nothing down there. You fuck you with a knife. I'm sure- Wow. I'm sure he could get a strap on. Well let's can me be honest with this for a minute. If we were in any of the child play movies we would never die. You really think so? A doll could not kill me. That's crazy. That's fucking crazy. god A doll would never kill me.
00:13:24
Speaker
But he's like a serial killer. I don't even fuck what he is. He's less than three feet tall and he's a doll. I'd kick him in the face. They do that though. They make terrible decisions. Speaking of making terrible decisions. Alien Romulus. Nevermind. We'll get back to that. So yeah, I'm gonna fuck Chucky. Fuck the Chuck. And I'm gonna kill the fly because, you know. but him He wanted to be put out of his misery, honestly. Right, he did. So obviously Merry fuck kills classic. I still agree with my uh...
00:13:51
Speaker
My decisions. I do too, I'm still fucking the mouse. I still... Gonna kiss that mouse is fucking hilarious. um Our next episode is arguably our biggest episode. I won't lie to you, the substance is catching up quickly to this. Is it? Yeah, it's closing ground. I believe it's like right up there with it. Bridget Terabithia, movie sucks, but really, really funny episode.
00:14:19
Speaker
And fun fact, ah you found the Blu-ray for me. It's coming in the mail at some point, or you already have it by now, I don't know. I committed to it. I'm not too sure why. There's like several clips of, uh, Bruce Chabithia up now. We had the whole, uh, vermin debate. Vermin debate. Kill all the, kill the fucking, what was it, anteater? I don't know what the fuck, I don't even remember any anymore.
00:14:43
Speaker
Jess's dad wanted to kill the something. Kill the thing. Yeah. Anyways, here's, uh, I have, we have two clips from Bridge to your Birthday. One, I didn't tell you about, but obviously you know what it is. Cause you were there. I was cue the sound effect on the way to get the keys. Jess fights some, I wrote down dog owl hybrid. Yeah. And then, uh,
00:15:08
Speaker
There's a a war? I don't know. Like these dog owl johns are coming at him in these birdie bug things. They're like flying like almost like mosquitoes with like armors and swords. And Jess is like, there's a skeeter on my Peter.
00:15:32
Speaker
We were on some serious shit with that episode. We've come to the conclusion that it's always the child movies we get out of hand. I don't know why. And then there's one more clip here, a little bonus clip from various tipperties I didn't tell you about. And the last one, this is just to be funny. If you like watching movies about getting lost in the woods, the Blair Witch Project.
00:15:59
Speaker
ah oh boy oh That has nothing to do with this film but They get lost in the woods I'll be honest. I stand by that That if you like it watch Blair Witch. Yeah, you know it is it has similar ah Vibes no, I think do you think we should bring that segment back if you like this movie you should check out other movies.
00:16:22
Speaker
I think we should, we kind of forgotten about it, I'll be honest with you. Yeah, we kind of just pushed it to the wayside. We kind of just... Not intentionally, it's just... you No, we just kind of moved away from it. Yeah, you're I hear you. The next app ah was Strange Darling and we had, I mean, we've had a lot of tangents and some of them you guys haven't heard because they're not released yet.
00:16:46
Speaker
ah This was one of the all-time tangents. I have divulged a lot of information about my personal life I've realized on this podcast. Do you regret it? No, it's funny. I don't care. It is funny. You know, if you can't have fun with yourself, then who can you have fun with? Ben Suicide.
00:17:07
Speaker
Dang. ah So here's a clip of me sharing my my Blue Balls story.
Personal Stories and Embarrassing Moments
00:17:13
Speaker
Have you ever gotten Blue Balls? Not a while. but like in your life you've had it oh yeah for sure i got a bad one time i don't think i ever told you this oh okay we love to cut this but okay bro music in the parks
00:17:37
Speaker
You got the fucking six. leg um Yeah, we were at we have music in the parks and I just started dating this girl. um Oh, fuck. And I wasn't a big ah amusement park person. I didn't love going on the rides and everything else. And maybe she was or she wasn't who fucking knows. We were just sitting in like a area where it was like a ah was it called the pavilion there you go we were making out and i um I was young I mean this is like eighth ninth grade it's like early early on you're right to me that was like the hottest thing ever and then we got in public yeah and then we went on the Ferris wheel whoa
00:18:25
Speaker
And we were making out in the Ferris wheel too. And this just happened like the whole day. And my dick is just like, out of tension. Cause like at this age, you're going through puberty and all that. My dick was just hard as fuck the whole day. I got home. My balls hurt. Did you finish yourself off? Of course I did. It didn't make it better. It still took like a recovery period. Oh, for sure. Because it's like, I don't know something.
00:18:50
Speaker
yeah some fucked up thing with like your vessels with your yeah your blood vessels because all the bloods to your cock it all there none of my head all my cock that's why you start thinking with your wrong head still the absolute worst case of blue balls ever had in my life I mean that was easily 10 years ago if not 11 years ago and I had it bad Well I'm glad you don't have to get it anymore, right? Yeah, now I just get nothing. well is Is that an improvement? i i i would i Would I rather have blue balls or no bitches? I'd probably prefer blue balls.
00:19:27
Speaker
Not that one though, that blue ball was like, it was like eight hours of blue balls. That one fucking really like fucked me up. That's horrendous. Yeah, that I was down horrendous. Yeah. Like finishing yourself off is like thinking of what could have been, you know? Dude, dude, ah dude.
00:19:45
Speaker
Our next episode that I pulled from is episode six. This is Beel Juice, Beel Juice. We are in the era of legacy, sequels, prequels, and remakes that we don't fucking need. Hear that, studios. But we, they definitely didn't. We were, I mean, we were on some shit. I what we not i know, but like there's certain recordings we do where it's just not there, but like this one we were, there's, there's There's two of them, ah and um maybe we should divulge this now. We were, I mean, we still are not as hard, but we were like very, very big Young Gravy fans. true And like, at least for me, I don't know about you, like very big Ski Master Slump God fans, hence the soundboard. um And then some other rappers that like we would reference in this episode because the movie was so mid.
00:20:39
Speaker
Um, and then we would just like be in sync and it was just funny. Uh, so these are, these are just two moments that I'll play. get I might not watch the OG cause I don't want to swerve my. Swerve. I don't want to swerve my, uh, liking or disliking of the movie because I holding it up against the original. So you're, you're Fra Bologna.
00:21:09
Speaker
no regular to
00:21:13
Speaker
Well, keep that in on that note. Yeah. 100% we're keeping that in. Well, if they do a beetle juice three, they need to do more juice. Cause that's what we're here to see. Right. Extra, extra juice. Right. We need juice sauce and a little bit of dressing. Shout out your gravy.
00:21:35
Speaker
Yeah, we were on the same page. Shout out to Young Gravy. Honestly, shout out Young Gravy. Dude, so I went to a comedy show ah last week and the comedians that I saw know Young, like they're a friend of the Young Gravy. And by the way, Jake, let's think, fuck you, Jake. Jake's like, yeah, everybody knows Young Gravy. What are you talking about, Jake?
00:21:53
Speaker
Everybody knows young gravy. They know of him and them know him. Yeah, they're not friends with him. He's been the on their podcast twice. So I did the meet and greet and I showed them the picture that we took when we went to Brooklyn. Uh huh. And like we were like in that basement, he came out of the side door. You know, sick. They're like, no, fuck. They were like actually impressed with it. Like we were we're oh, geez. We are. Oh, geez. Like he does not look anything like that anymore. No, now he's like, oh, no. He's big. He's big, big.
00:22:20
Speaker
um Moving on to the episode seven. Uh, this is the only episode we record at night and it was off the fucking rails. Uh, I may have been drinking during this
Favorite Episodes and Memorable Segments
00:22:35
Speaker
dude. I mean there, there, this is, uh, we were going to save it for later, but it it is the same answer. for This is both of our favorite episodes, uh, of the entire podcast is Friday the 13th. I mean, we just had a fucking blast doing this one. Uh, it was a bonus episode because it was Friday the 13th in September.
00:22:53
Speaker
So we decided to do a little boner alert episode. ah We had plans to do one in December, but you know, we're busy adults. end up plain job Also, I can't watch the five in between that I haven't seen in a long time. Yeah, we'll get you next time though. Next Friday, 13th, we got you. We got you, dog. um So there's two moments I pulled. There's obviously so many fucking moments from this, but there's here are two that I pulled.
00:23:18
Speaker
They're not so cheap because the man tells any that Christy has dumped $25,000 into this camp right get some better plumbing and On top of that. I forgot what I was gonna say so
00:23:39
Speaker
well even that and Car pulls up, we just see lights and she's like, oh, it has to be Steve because Steve is Jesus fucking Christ in this movie.
00:23:50
Speaker
da
00:23:55
Speaker
If all my friends are dead, all my friends are dead, I am not going towards a car. I mean, just an all time episode. Yeah, if you guys haven't listened to it, I don't know what you're doing. What are you doing? I mean, that episode is so fucking funny. You gotta get on that. If there is one episode where you think that your friends would like it, show it to them. Show them this, like the best of, because this is like our hand-selected best moments, and then show them that episode.
00:24:27
Speaker
ah Next one ah is Speak No Evil, the remake. Uh, and we went on a tangent. I mean, this one, I said it before, I'm just going to cut that one. This is like one of the wildest tangents we've had. So like.
00:24:46
Speaker
not out of nowhere because it was very you know relevant but we went a little far I would say we went down a rabbit hole pretty quickly a lot of anatomy talk we went down a certain hole know i get to be up um off the whole but up all of so if it made you uncomfortable the first time maybe just skip ahead but here it is again can you imagine being born with no tongue now i You couldn't you couldn't eat right I couldn't do anything you probably just choke and die probably Sound like Helen Keller And then there's a random couple appears while they're out there eating and this is actually pretty funny. Oh It's the Danish come they walk over and patty starts talking about hey, would you entertain us? We're talking about if you're you know scrunch or fold and
00:25:44
Speaker
And he's talking about like, oh, if you scrunch, there's a possibility to like penetrate and like get your, basically like get your finger covered and shit. Wiping your ass. And the couple's like, the fuck you guys talking about?
00:25:55
Speaker
like I'm just gonna leave like they just you're like, oh fuck with this conversation. But here's the real question. What are you? You scrunch or old? Oh, if you're a scrunch or you're crazy should be put down Jake's definitely a scrunch or Jake. Let us know also right in Jake. That's something you don't use chat GPT for Also, I'm currently What's the word shitting right now no pretty close I have hemorrhoids
00:26:28
Speaker
do on This week yeah, yeah, they're not external or not internal. They're itching though. Yeah, it's it exactly great. I got that preparation age coming today. Oh Yeah, the wipes or the cream no cuz the wipes say they're for prevention. I have it. I need the cream Is that why it's not helping me that much yeah it's prevention it's like to to don't get if you already have it you need the cream I I need the cream. All right. Good. Good look. Yeah. Because bro, I left work one day. I was like, I can't do it. I'm going to ask you actually, maybe not in the podcast, but how many times are you using that every shit? The white. Yes. Oh, wow. Did it say to use it every time? No. How long have you been using for? Probably three months. Every time. Every time, dude.
00:27:19
Speaker
Bro, I got an Amazon subscription. Yeah, they offered me that for the cream, and I was like, no. You're gonna need it. Like, unless they calm down, you're gonna need it. Did your asshole itch all the time? After I take a shit, yeah. Oh, fuck. So you can't feel them when your hands up in there. What do you mean, in there? Like, when you're wiping your ass, right? No, I don't feel it. No? Okay. Because mine feel like little, little, uh, little sacks. Oh, man.
00:27:49
Speaker
Oh, all right. Well, anyways, let us know if you're a scrunch or a fold. Actually, if you're a scrunch, just don't bother. ah You might want to keep that to yourself. Yeah, that's not OK. Also, you wipe from sack to crack. You don't wipe from crack to sack. Well, no. Who does that? i Who does I've heard? Who does crack to sack? I've heard people who do that. It's not. You're a savage.
00:28:16
Speaker
At least for men, it's sanitary. But if women do that, that's how you get like i used. And they would argue it's not sanitary. Well, no, it's even more. Oh, for guys, you don't want fucking anyone shit on your tank or the back of your nuts. but Backboard. At least it's at least the word. The splash board. Would you care to update us? Did you end up getting the cream? Are you still a white man?
00:28:44
Speaker
I'm still a white man, and i just I really need to get that fucking cream because they're still acting up. however yeah occurs Mine's gone, dude. Mine's been gone. I mean, that probably lasted like another week, and I haven't had any issues. I mean, you were here. I just took the best shit of my life, like, I don't know, 30 minutes ago. Yeah. ah Yeah, mine are still fucked up. I'm really sorry, dude. It's all right. My doctor looked at him, actually looked at, looked in my asshole. Your doctor looked at me. You have not told me it's what?
00:29:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah, like I bent over the whole thing and he like went up in there and he's like, Oh, yeah, I see him. Oh, wow. Yeah. So what's the plan? ah He said if they start bleeding, I should let him know. But otherwise, just use, you know, the preparation aid shit. Also, I want to say.
00:29:30
Speaker
ah A lot of the best moments we have after like, I think it's, I think it's seven, cause seven was hardcore are censored. Cause I'm not putting that out there to the public. Uh, once we get a Patreon, we'll let you guys actually hear what we said for shot ah for like a $10 level or something. Cause like that, I can't put that out there, but they would, I mean, it would only be those moments if i we were doing the best stuff. But unfortunately it's not just Terrible. Why'd we even say that? yeah Really? Like, why did we say that? um Our next episode is that I pulled a clip from is hereditary, which we ah had our first guest
Debates and Controversial Topics
00:30:12
Speaker
on. Shout out Tyler, who now has a letter boxed. So go follow him.
00:30:18
Speaker
um And we were talking about, ah because we were we were on the heels of our episode on Speak No Evil, and they had that, the girl has that little doll hoppy.
00:30:32
Speaker
um So we were talking about if it was worse to have a hoppy or call your mom mommy, because in hereditary, ah they still call their mom mommy. That's bad. Yeah. ah Shout out to Tyler again. Thanks for coming on the podcast. Come back on sometime.
00:30:48
Speaker
Hey, who's still calling their mom mommy? You got to age out of that shit. And she's like in her 40s. It's like honestly calling your mom mommy is worse than, uh, Hoppy.
00:31:02
Speaker
ah but honest to you what Would you not agree? Than Hoppy? Yeah. Why? you write but Okay, would you rather be 40 with a stuffed animal that you carry around or still be calling your mom mommy?
00:31:16
Speaker
Ooh, that one's tough. i'm I'm saying... Give me the stuffed animal. I'm saying stuffed animal. Like they're carrying it around all the time, right? Yeah, like Hoppy, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're carrying it around like outside of the house? yeah Yeah, but if you get a phone call from your mom, you're like, hi, mommy. Or let me call my mommy real quick. The stuffed animal is like a 24-7 thing. Yeah. that's so So is your mom. Yeah, but how often are you saying like her name?
00:31:43
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, my boss knows my mom, so that would be rough if he's like, Hey, I saw your mom did it yesterday. I'm like, Oh, you saw mommy? That's so cool. you ah i find animalable that Every single one of my coworkers is watching me drag a coat of a stuffed animal around work. No, that's not, that's not going to fly. So okay it's more uncommon for like a kid, like a guy to say mommy than it is for like ah a woman to say daddy.
00:32:14
Speaker
Uh, how about this? What if, okay. The mommy thing or when you, you can try to conceal the stuffed animal. Like, let's say you're going to work. You can like put it in your backpack, but it's on you. Yeah. Then I'm rocking with the stuffed animal. Yeah. Stuff animals way, way that went off. Like you could be like, Oh yeah, it's like my good stuff. Like I have a little Buddha statue on my car. No one ever roasted me for that. I bet if I had like a little stuffed animal on the dash,
00:32:40
Speaker
People will be like, oh, what's that? I'm like, oh, yeah, know it's it's just, you know, my mom gave it to me. My mommy gave it to me. mom Hey, you cannot you cannot answer a phone call at work. and be Hey, mommy. I'm ah on my on my desk right now. I got I got Pokemon plushies. See, I'm not making fun of him for that. yeah but He's not bringing those out in the public. They're in his house. You want me to. that's That's your lifestyle decision. I'll pack this little boy where my pecker goes. What do you want? You little bump on the ah little bulge.
00:33:11
Speaker
All right. Well, I think what we're trying to say here at the two guys one screen podcast ah is fuck hoppy. Show call your mom mommy after ah probably seven and ah justice for Bob. Oh, it's justice for Bob, man. I will say I stopped calling my mom and dad, mommy and daddy.
00:33:37
Speaker
before my sister did, and my sister is 10 years older than me. Oh! So. ah We gotta get your sister on the podcast. Take that sister whose name I'm not gonna drop. Drop her name, what is it? Oh, am I gonna drop her name? Is that what you asked? It's her first name. i won't I won't give up, Julia, like that. I won't let you guys know. and I did shame on me not pull a justice for Bob clip for the best of moment, but definitely justice for Bob. Always justice for Bob.
00:34:06
Speaker
That man did not, he got done dirty, dude. He did. ah Again, shout out to Tyler for coming on the podcast. We'd love to have you back whenever you want to come back, dude. You picked the movie. Hour back, get it? All right. Our next episode is ah Gerald's favorite horror movie of all time. And it was also his debut see-by-scene episode, episode 11, which is reanimated from 1985. Good movie.
00:34:34
Speaker
Great movie. she He won't accept the fact that she's dead. So the other doctor, Dr. Harrod, or whatever her name is. Harrod? Harrod? Is that how you I'm pretty sure it's Harrod. You put so much accent on the O. Harrod. I mean, there's an Indian, but she's... Dr. Harrod is like, Harrod, he's dead.
00:34:57
Speaker
Stupid fat bitch. Alright, Dr. Harrod. Apparently. Harrod. Just got a Harrod. Ride her rod. Alright. She wants to ride Dan's rod. Me. I will say it sounds like I'm calling you a stupid fat bitch. I was calling it's calling Dr. Harrod a stupid fat bitch. ah Just to clarify that, I was not calling my beautiful co-host a stupid fat bitch. That's just the mean.
00:35:26
Speaker
Well, thank you to clear that up. Yeah, I mean, that episode came out October 11th. It's the end of the year. I'm not sure if you thought I was all this time. I was calling you a fat bitch. A little bit, but it's all right. Yeah, it was 100% towards her. OK. Our next episode, so I forgot to mention, Hereditary, our longest episode, two hours plus. Wow. If you're ever on a long journey in the car or traveling, that's a good one to put on. And you can't watch Hereditary. You can just listen to us talk about it.
00:35:57
Speaker
The next episode is it from 2017. Obviously we talked about it, a movie that um is dear to our friendship. It's the first horror movie that ah I watched in a theater. Shout out to the Palisades. Big steps. um And it just it was a good vibe episode. It was fun. And there's here's a couple of funny little one-liner johns. One of them is just, I think it's the best moment of the podcast.
00:36:26
Speaker
Really, I mean you said it. I thought okay. You didn't listen to him. Well, we'll tell you when we come back Jordy runs back upstairs. Bill gives him the wax but that trying to wax his fucking cock. What's going on? is We cut to Mike who delivers meat on his bicycle and
00:36:53
Speaker
Yo, is that a thing? I don't know. Drive drive by meat giver.
00:37:00
Speaker
i Mean I mean Mike delivering meat on his bicycle fuckinglarious It's shit oh man probably like of the things that aren't like bleeped out. That's probably the funniest shit You just I could just picture someone old like has her legs spread open? yeah rested on the fucking top where you like the handle bar is it's just hanging there You use your dick as a as ah at the pedal. Oh, I'm getting that caught in like the gears. Oh, man, man.
00:37:30
Speaker
um So that was it. Our next episode inside a great fucking one of my favorite movies of all time, honestly, in the horror genre, especially Arrow or I'm sorry, not Arrow.
Soundboard and Production Enhancements
00:37:45
Speaker
second site fucking releases it all regions you cowards oh wow again uh but this episode was where i figured out uh how to work the soundboard uh we've been talking about a soundboard for weeks before this episode and i was just dicking around and i was like oh i figured it out so i loaded a bunch of buttons and obviously hopefully you guys have come to uh know and enjoy the buttons now um but there was one part where I pulled one and it got you so good it like kind of surprised me um shout out ski mask slump god shout out young gravy shout out
00:38:22
Speaker
Literally anybody that I pulled a sound bite from, shout out Shannon Sharp. And the recent new favorite, shout out Slim Shady. That shit's fucking hilarious. That's amazing, yeah. um And here's the here's the birth of the soundboard for you guys. It's better than Anaconda, say that much. Probably is, Anaconda's pretty fucking bad. Yeah.
00:38:52
Speaker
So there's fucking garbage out of here. ah I just want the audience to know it's so hard to not just have ski mask the slum of God ad libs for the entire soundboard, but that's the only deal I have for now, I promise.
00:39:09
Speaker
You got to play that if we review a movie. That's garbage. That's garbage. I really got you with that one. Yeah, that was great, man. I'm still shook.
00:39:20
Speaker
all time moment. Uh, the throwaway button is still very much active. It's one of the few that have, have made it all the way. Yeah. You can't get rid of that one because we need it a lot. And obviously the glade plug it in, plug it in as fucking fantastic too, which originated from alien Romulus. When I said in the beginning of the episode, do you want to plug it in and plug it in? And I was laughing so hard. I couldn't even say it right. Um,
00:39:47
Speaker
So that is Inside, great movie. I believe the next one we're here. ah Yeah, we are. Episode 16, the trick or treat debate, which you're still wildly wrong on. Hey.
00:40:08
Speaker
i will not i will not I will not back down this one. We've had no input from anybody on this besides Jake. And at this point, Jake, I'm sorry, I just... Irrelevant. Yeah. so i Sorry, dude. I love you, but don't really care. If anybody else has input out there about Hershey's, ah Jesus and Friends said that clip was funny as hell. So shout out to Jesus and Friends. Shout out to Jesus and Friends. ah The Lord watches over us, who's not real. you Here's the clip from ah from Trick or Treat. Hershey is probably the worst chocolate.
00:40:46
Speaker
What? You heard me. So what's your best? Oh, like Ghirardelli. OK, I mean, yeah I mean, but how the typical household's not giving out Ghirardelli's for. I'm saying they should treat. They should also. Can we just clarify your Ghirardelli? Do they have a are you buying just a straight chocolate Ghirardelli? You're buying the filled ones, right? All of them. I don't think.
00:41:17
Speaker
What? i yeah It's kind of a hot take. You like them more than lint truffles? Those are ass. Oh, you're so wrong on that. Nah, dude. You could not be more wrong than on that. No, I'm telling you. Truffles are great. Not the forever road share. Those suck dick. I hate those. And the gold wrapping paper, those are terrible. The red johns. The little red balls. Right. They're mid. They're mid. And you think Hershey's is worse than that?
00:41:45
Speaker
Yeah. Her... No, okay. So Hershey just tastes artificial. Like it... It like burn ah burns. What? You heard me. It burns. No way it burns. How much are you eating at a time? You know, a couple. I don't under... I have to look this up now because you're really derailing me. Ghirardelli chocolate. You're saying you when you buy Ghirardelli,
00:42:14
Speaker
You're only getting the fucking plain chocolate? You're not getting like the caramel squares? No, I'm getting all of them, dude. What do you mean getting all of them? You're buying a variety pack? No, I'm saying it depends on the day. Like I'll get the normal dark chocolate johns or for Christmas you get the peppermint ones, you can get the caramel filled ones. Caramel filled one is the best Ghirardelli period. Well, yeah.
00:42:41
Speaker
I don't think it's fair to compare something with a filling in it to Hershey's, which is straight chocolate. Straight bar. It's not good chocolate though, that's what I'm saying. Straight fudge factory. It's not good chocolate. Okay, so what about like, ah well you don't like peanut butter, nevermind, I can't even bring that up. So where are you at with like a Hershey kiss? It's just a fucking Hershey bar, but in a little street. Oh my god. What about Kit Kats? Oh, I fucking love Kit Kats.
00:43:10
Speaker
That's the same chocolate! No it's not. How is it not? The fuck you it is not. How is it not? Is it made by Hershey? um No. It's not. No. Isn't it Mars? KitKat is non-American creation. a British company now owned by Nestle. In the United States, KitKat is made by HB Reiss, which is a division of Hershey. So eat my cock and balls. A division. They don't use the same chocolate, I promise you. are they no Do you work for Hershey? It tastes way different. ah You're full of shit. No. you're Okay. yeah Kick rocks. Gertrude Hawk is better than Hershey. I think isn't Gertrude kind of specific to where we live?
00:43:52
Speaker
Are they all over? You can buy them on well on the website. on that but Yeah, but like did someone in fucking Wyoming know? They fucking should. ah you You heard them? Gertrude Hawk is great. I love their shit. I'm not saying they're not. GertrudeHawkChalklets.com. Are we blocking a free... We're giving free advertising? Yeah, because it's way better than Hershey. all right You like Nestle Crunch? Fuck yeah dude. It's literally Hershey's! No it's not! Yes it is! It's Nestle! Oh my god! Eat dicks! Get off this podcast! Get off this podcast! I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. It's different. You're a fucking liar and you're a stone drill. You're a fucking stone drill. It tastes different. Take fucking, take fucking crunch bars and fucking
00:44:42
Speaker
no one
00:44:47
Speaker
No, man, you're wrong. Shit! It's the same shit! Oh my god. It's different. I will not take this. You like crunch bars? I do. That's also an L for you, man. Sorry. Really? You don't like peanut butter. You don't like the best fucking chocolate candy out there. You don't like Reese's. Nah, Reese's could get thrown in the trash. I hope they fucking flame you for that.
00:45:11
Speaker
i hope I hope our 15 listeners won't share you for that. You probably will, and you know what? I stand by my statements. I'm sick of this. Lucky for you, you haven't gotten flamed because we've had no input about this, no reaction. Right, because everybody knows I'm right. Yeah, they should find me then. No one said anything. Well, they should. can you All right, will you at least give me this? If I concede to you that KitKat and Hershey's chocolate Taste different. Will you still agree that KitKat chocolate tastes artificial? Yes. All right. OK. I'm willing to say that. I never said it was like top tier chocolate. I'm saying it's better chocolate, though. The the combo with the wafer just something else. Oh, a chocolate wafer combo is, yeah, dude. Love that. My fave. I believe the next post, our next clip is from The Descent.
00:46:10
Speaker
We're getting there. We're almost done.
Challenges and Rants
00:46:12
Speaker
ah The dissent was the winner of our horror bracket. Thank you to everyone once again who ah voted in that. Listen to the episodes. we we were We put in the work, dude. We did a lot of recording that month. I mean, ah Tuesday, Friday, boner alert episodes.
00:46:33
Speaker
um And here is a little clip. This isn't even about the descent. I'm pretty sure we're talking about the Minecraft movie, which ah I won't lie to you, I've kind of come around on a little bit. Like it's not going to be, I'm not against watching it as much as I was in this clip. It's not going to be good, but now we will see it. Are we going to review it? Well, we made a deal in this episode, but I'm pretty sure you didn't honor the deal. So we'll listen to this and we'll find out. When's Minecraft come out?
00:47:04
Speaker
Fuckin' hopefully never. Hopefully gets canceled.
00:47:11
Speaker
ah Okay, can I sweeten the deal? Sure. Would you be willing to do the same exact deal if you do the scene by scene? For Minecraft? Yeah. Sure, why? Because I just don't want to do it. Oh, it's not coming out until April 2025. Oh, we got time.
00:47:34
Speaker
I got time to fucking brace myself for that fucking piece of shit movie. God damn. It's gotta be a one star at minimum, right? ah No, at minimum. Maximum. The options are half star or one star. Those are the options for me. What if it blows your fucking mind? It won't. What if it's actually a horror movie with Harold Bryan?
00:47:56
Speaker
I hope they do that. That'd be great. i hope And I hope they make the creepers actually, or the creepers are actual priests.
00:48:09
Speaker
ramo
00:48:14
Speaker
Enderman, Enderman, not Slenderman, Enderman. Yeah. Those are tall priests. <unk> they fucking so So Steve's a choir boy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:28
Speaker
I'm gonna put it in your pick ass.
00:48:36
Speaker
oh
00:48:39
Speaker
I'm gonna take my my shovel and scoop out your booty hole. I'll show you my golden hole.
00:48:48
Speaker
Shout out to the listeners who listen to us just fucking sniff all the time. Dude, it's so much more. I'm pretty sure the agreement was ah you'd watch Heretic, which you didn't watch. ah But honestly, we'll see what we look like when this comes out and what we have on the docket. I mean, if we're planning on recording films like Cat in the Hat, might as well fucking do this piece of shit with you, right? That's true. Is that a spoiler for all the listeners?
00:49:14
Speaker
No, we did mention it somewhere else. We were gonna record it, I'm pretty sure. um Next one, I mean, this is an all timer. ah I apologize to anyone who who didn't like this, but you gotta hear it again. Strap in, because it is, oh dude, it's like five minutes. Oh my goodness. um We set out to record an episode initially on a basket case.
00:49:44
Speaker
And yeah, I've watched When Evil Lurks the night before. And I really felt some type of way about it. I still kind of do. I'm not as mad about it now because I just watched Black Christmas and fucked that movie. yeah um But yeah, so here is the When Evil Lurks rant. This is um strap in. I watched this movie last night.
00:50:12
Speaker
ah that you've already seen. And I was like, Oh, you know, he's probably just in the minority. ah When evil lurks. Let me say something to ah all the folks out there. Okay.
00:50:26
Speaker
This film has a 3.5 average on Letterboxd. The Terrifier, whatever Terrifier movie you wanna put out, you wanna compare it to. Terrifier 2 is.8, 1 is a 2.6, I don't know what 3 is. Maybe 3's a little bit higher, I doubt it. It's a 3.1, okay? let me Let me tell you some of the complaints that people have with Terrifier, okay? Let me just read some of these off to you.
00:50:57
Speaker
Well, when evil lurks, you know, it has a demon and there's like a storyline. Yeah. Have you guys watched Terrifier 2? There's a storyline and arc the clown is a demon. Confirmed in the third movie. He's a demon. Confirmed. Oh, well, you know, I found this movie terribly boring. Did you watch the second half of When Evil Lurks or were you asleep? Because it's that fucking boring. and Well,
00:51:22
Speaker
Terrifier doesn't really explain the lore. Did this movie, When Evil Lurks, not explain the entirety of the lore? read Spell it out for you syllable by syllable of what you should and shouldn't do, and then did we go ahead and watch the characters? Just not listen? There's a scene in this movie where where the mom, the cleaner, tells Pedro the fuck his name is, hey, you should not go looking for your son because the evil knows you're afraid of losing him and you're not gonna be able to find him.
00:51:52
Speaker
And you're like, well, yep, let's go. Let's go find him. And then the biggest complaint, I'm saving this for a last, the biggest fucking complaint for Terrifier as a franchise. Oh, it's pointless gore. What is the difference between this gore and when he belirks his gore? What is the difference? It is shock value kills. It's shock value kills.
00:52:15
Speaker
You're watching this dude almost shoot a goat. And then this lady's like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna take an ax to my face. And you know what? It's not even gonna look good. It's not even gonna look good! Let me say this. Let me say this. Speak, Queen. Terrifier 1's budget was $35,000. Okay? Terrifier 2's budget was $250,000.
00:52:40
Speaker
The budget for when evil lurks was three million dollars. And what do they do with that? Not put it into practical effects! It looks terrible. All of it. All of it. The only one that looks good is the fucking blob in the beginning of the movie. That's the only part that looks good.
00:53:00
Speaker
So let's take shock. This is a movie that you're watching that has dialogue that you should care about if the characters respected the dialogue that was happening. Followed up with, hey, are you still paying attention? Here's a shock value kill. That's what Terrifier is. That's exactly what Terrifier is. I'm not saying that One Evil Lurks is like bad or terrible. I mean, you probably say that. I'm not saying that. I'm saying,
00:53:29
Speaker
These films are on a closer level. but but people But people praise when evil lurks more than the terrified movies. The must-see movie of last year, 2022, get out of my face. Get out of my face! Yeah. 20% more of their budget into the practical effects. That's all you needed.
00:53:57
Speaker
And a better storyline. Oh, but there's a demon. I'm done with possession movies, guys. but Stop it. Stop it. I don't know if I'm done with it. I'm just sent like. It's rinse, repeat like they tried to do something new, I guess, but like. Fuck my ass, dude, I'm.
00:54:18
Speaker
ah I'm all I'm saying is. where everybody, the Joe public, and there are, there are ah obviously there's thousands of Terrifier friends. Art is now in the mainstream. But the people who critique Terrifier on being pointless, senseless, gore, that's boring, keep it a buck when you talk about when evil lurks. People giving when evil lurks four star, four and a half star. That's fucking crazy.
00:54:47
Speaker
That's blasphemy. I'm not trying to shit on When Evil Lurks. I'm trying to say that these movies are not that different. It is dialogue followed by shock value kills. And the shock value kills in Terrifier 2 and 3 and that one kill in one look way better than any of the kills in When Evil Lurks. And you can't tell me otherwise. That's it. I'm so glad you put that out there.
00:55:16
Speaker
I mean, i was I was angry. You were heated. the The volume was just maxed out for five minutes on that. Like, I just maxed my mic fucking yelling. To be fair, you maxed your mic a good portion of the time. but Talk loud. ah I feel like that one was very, you know... yeah I tried to keep the mic further away from my face, too. Sure. It needed to be said.
00:55:41
Speaker
Yeah, um, I just want to say I channel all that same rage and anger into black christmas because fuck that movie Do you have the same uh, do you channel it as well when you're masturbating? I mean, that's a question. Uh, no typically masturbation is more depression-based not anger-based I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bring up uh Your dark secrets
00:56:07
Speaker
Um, our last clip is, uh, from long legs. And it is, uh, the conversation. Cause at the end of the end of long legs spoiler, uh, our main character has to shoot her mom in the face. Uh, and I tell Gerald that, uh, I would gladly kill my mom if it was between me and her. Wait, what are you asking me? Would I kill myself for my mom first? Yeah. Oh, I'd kill my mom. What? Yeah.
00:56:36
Speaker
What? Bro, your mom, how old is your mom? Like, 69, something like that. You're gonna die anyways. That's crazy. How is that crazy? I can't kill my mom. Your life or your mom's life? Yeah, you have to take one of them. But it's just arbitrary, it's just like, one of you has to die. Who's dying? It's my mom. Yeah, but you have to do it. Alright. My mom, does my mom have to kill me? No, you have to kill you.
00:57:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's it. 86.
00:57:10
Speaker
Dude, I don't get, like, as far as society's concerned, who has more to contribute? Jesus. What? What? This is crazy to say? No, it's not crazy to say you're right. So you're saying you'd kill yourself and let your mom live. Yeah. You had Geraldine fucking do whatever she's doing. Yeah, I would.
00:57:33
Speaker
It's hard for me because like at a certain age, I feel like it's like it's over. Look, if i if if I was my mom's age and my kid, and we had the same situation, I'd be like, yeah, give it to me. I guess, but yeah, but life, okay, life is crazy. Hold on.
00:57:52
Speaker
You watch this fucking planet Earth document. yeah um But like when you were born, right? Life starts happening, right? And your parents are taking care of you, right? Correct. And then you both go your separate ways. And then at the end of their life, you're supposed to take care of them. Correct. Yeah. Did you just fucking like start smoking weed and have this thought or something, man? This is not very well documented. This is well known information. Right. Therefore, therefore.
00:58:22
Speaker
I'm going to let my parent live their life to the fullest. Well, if you're dead, you can't take care of them. Back to the theoretical. If you kill yourself, you're not taking care of them. Right. I'll make sure I got money. Then they got to be in the home. Yeah, well, they should probably go in the home. Beat it by now.
00:58:41
Speaker
what Would you rather go to a nursing home or be dead? No, that's the question. I'd rather be dead. It depends. Are all nursing homes bad? Like, can you get a good one? I can't say that. I can't say they're all bad. I don't know. I don't know either. i got any good ones What I can say is the food can't be good because there's consistently ads out for fucking chefs for those for those fucking places. Yeah, food for a trash. It's probably terrible, but they can't taste shit anyways. Nah. Getting fed like fucking pudding because they have no teeth.
00:59:08
Speaker
My mom actually, can I be fair? My mom has said to me, she's like, i I'd rather die than put in a home. She said that to me. So if I got to die, which means, you know, I end up in a home. Like if you're listening to this. What? So you're saying like, if you die, then she's going to go in a home. She doesn't want that. No, I'm saying my sister would take care of her. I'm just saying like, you know what, mom? Like, why play your chances? Let's just fucking take you back. she's nipping back What does this happen right now? Like today? You're saying? Or like in 10 years? because it the it i mean My answer is still the same, I think. Well, in 10 years, my fucking my dad will be like 81, 82. That's why it's time to go.
00:59:52
Speaker
but Respectfully, shout out Lenny. Respectfully. I still stand by this. I still stand against you. I still shoot my fucking mom right in the face if ah it was me or her.
01:00:05
Speaker
I'm sorry. I'll send her that. I'll send her that. You know what? I love my mom. And I would do it for love. Sorry, mom. For a love. Sorry, mom. Yeah, so those are the best moments of ah of two guys, one screen. It's our first, our debut year. It's been great. It's been a really fun time recording these episodes. ah Wait until you hear the ones that are in the bank. Jesus Christ. We have one that's been in the bank forever. Since alien Romulus. Yeah.
01:00:35
Speaker
Uh, yeah. So, and one that I keep mentioning, like people, like it's out there and it's not, it's not, uh, we're going to go through some superlatives real quick for the year of 2024. Uh, let's start with.
01:00:50
Speaker
I'm on the wrong um john silver or I'm on the right one. Why the right one? You have yours physically written down. Wow. Yeah. because Yeah. Because the I have a notebook on my desk. Yeah. Because the phone is it always takes too long. um Let's start with the best movie that got released in twenty twenty four.
Best and Worst Movies of 2024
01:01:13
Speaker
I'll say this, that we've seen. You have seen way more movies than I have. So as of today, and today is Monday, December 9th.
01:01:24
Speaker
ah I have seen over the releases that came out in 2024 71 films now 71 2024 releases nose for a twos not out yet It is not it could be right the best to be here number one, but as of right now It's this now I'll say this if nose for a two comes out one nose for a two comes out ah when we do a review of that episode I will Say if nose for a two cracked the number one spot. Okay now I have to give a A special shout out, but I will say my favorite movie of 2024 is Sing Sing. Sing Sing is a movie that's shot at the Sing Sing prison in New York. ah that Follows a group of characters. You find out the characters are actual inmates at this prison. That's crazy. um It's a wildly emotional movie ah that I was not expecting to like so much. Is this streaming anywhere? I'm not sure. I haven't looked. But that is my...
01:02:22
Speaker
My number one there's only ah the main character is Coleman Domingo who's a famous ah Actor already, but the rest of the cast ah Literally says himself herself like it's just the inmates at the prison, huh? This one I was like fringe five-star four and a half and I ended up giving it a five I don't think it's ah streaming anywhere, but no, it's it's pretty indie pretty indie. Okay What do you got?
01:02:49
Speaker
So for my best of, I have strange darling, great movie, great episode, which you heard a clip already. Yep. Uh, if you haven't listened to that episode, go check it out. If you haven't seen it, go watch it. Um, it just really blew me away. Uh, I watched it again, again recently. Uh, I bought the Blu-ray hard Blu-ray to track down, by the way.
01:03:17
Speaker
um Right. But even knowing all of the twists and turns, it still caught, you know, kept my attention and I still re gave it five stars. Yeah, I mean, the strange darling right now is in my top five of the year.
01:03:39
Speaker
Number three, it's right below Singsing. I have another movie. There is another movie called The Taste of Things. That's my number one, but technically it came out in 2023. I'm debating taking it off the list. ah but that's also a really good movie if you'd like to cook. We have to give a special shout out to another movie that's not really a movie, but it did come out this year and it is a five out of five. It is, the band Ghost put out a full blown concert. ah The movie, they called it, ah Right Here, Right Now.
01:04:13
Speaker
That's what I pulled earlier. Pulling the rats on. um Yeah, that movie is. I mean, we both ordered it on a was it 4K or is it just the Blu-ray? I ordered the 4K. I don't know what you ordered. I think I ordered the 4K. It's fucking amazing. The album is I listened to on repeat like all summer. The live album because I'm a live music or that is ah would be the number one, but I'm not including it because it's literally just a concert. Right. ah But great. If you don't know who get the boat that if you don't know the ghost, go seek them out, seek them out.
01:04:47
Speaker
Next category the worst movie this year Mine was pretty hard to say, but I'm just gonna go madam web. I mean what a disaster of a movie Yeah, just terribly edited terrible storyline terrible character choices yeah I mean an abomination, but the cleanest one of the cleanest stuff out there I didn't wait too much money for it. And you know, it's Marvel. So you expect like, you know They howdy shit. Well, yeah now you expect dogshit, but they were his own Marvel too Yeah, Sony Marvel yikes Uh, that's my worst. Uh, so my, my worst movie is one where I saw the Blu-ray, uh, recently actually at Walmart discounted for $9 and I still skipped it. Uh, fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark, for making me watch this God awful piece of shit. Hey, Mark, fuck you. Fuck you. Uh, it's called Arcadian. That's Nicolas Cage, right?
01:05:45
Speaker
Nicholas Cage, uh, I think it's a shutter exclusive and it's like a post-apocalyptic like creature feature. Uh, but here's the problem. Nothing fucking happens. Nothing happens. It's just Nicholas Cage and these kids just like sitting in a house, sitting in a house.
01:06:12
Speaker
And when the creature shows up, it's some of the worst CGI you're ever gonna see in your life. Holy shit. I haven't seen it. It would be a waste of my fucking time. An hour and a half, I will never get back. And... Fuck you, Mark. Out of all the Nicolas Cage movies, it's the worst Nicolas Cage movie I've ever seen. Oh, wow. I think Mandy sucks, too. I'm sorry. That's a hot take. Mandy's good. ah Let us know. You won't, but let us know.
01:06:36
Speaker
ah Next category is Biggest Surprise. It's a movie we already mentioned. My review of this movie is Surprise of the Year because I was not expecting to be as blown away as I was. And that is Strange Darling.
01:06:50
Speaker
i i mean we were My excitement level to review the movie when I first saw it was like average I was like, all right, some movies coming out this year. How good is it going to be? It looks very the trailer makes it seem like it's a very specific thing. And then you watch it and it's just like the twist and turns are crazy. I haven't rewatched it, but I was blown away more than any other movie about how great it was. Yeah, can't say any any more good things about that. you Yeah, you're right. You just sucked its dick like two minutes ago. And I will forever suck its dick.
01:07:26
Speaker
So, uh, most surprising for me, um, you could take this as a joke answer, but I'm dead fucking serious. And it's Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey 2. So surprisingly good, right? Yeah. So if you haven't seen the first Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey don't, um, it's honestly a steaming pile of dog shit. However, the second- I don't agree with that.
01:07:55
Speaker
really no i don't think i think they're both are closer to the same but go keep going they're definitely not uh so here's my reasoning behind this wrong now don't fuck yourself buddy um so the budget for this movie was increased uh winnie the poo and friends actually look like animals and not just dudes in masks the plot is better not great but better uh the kills are fun it just gives off good fun energy
01:08:29
Speaker
I'm happy it's your most surprising, you know, and I think it was the most surprising find in the wild as far as physical media is concerned. That's very true. I mean, it's not my most surprising, but it is very, it was very surprising. I just think the movies are both kind of mid. I think the blood looks fucking terrible in both of them. I'll be honest. Very excited for the, uh, uh, uh, Pinocchio one though. Yeah. And the other one, Ricky Steamboat.
01:08:54
Speaker
Ricky Steamboat? Yeah, what is it? It's Steamboat Willie.
01:09:02
Speaker
Ricky Steamboat the wrestler? Yeah, he's a wrestler. What's his name? What's his name? Steamboat Willy, my fucking Willy. Steamboat Willy, not Ricky the Dragon, Steamboat. Yeah, Steamboat Ricky, whatever. Who gives a fuck? Who's going to suck ass, dude? DM, dude, that's twice as year I fucked up with the fucking names. Yeah, sorry. And just one thing would have been in our best moment, but it's going to be in next year's. Yeah.
01:09:26
Speaker
Oh boy, sorry guys biggest disappointment ah mines alien Romulus. I mean this movie was set up to be Super it was it was super hyped and it was set up to like be fucking amazing the yetfiday Alvarez who made one of the best fucking horror remakes in a long time in the evil dead 2013 And then it was just mediocre studio interference watered-down shit It was, I mean, just fucking fun. I'm so disappointed how good this movie should have been. I was going to say Joker, too, but I can't say I was actually excited for that movie. I was actually i was actually excited for ah evil dead um Evil Dead, Alien Romulus. And it was just a big hunk of shit. And another fuck you, Mark, because he actually likes it. Fuck you, Mark, you stupid bitch. All right.
01:10:19
Speaker
So I originally had Alien Romulus, and then I switched it here to Moana 2. That's because you like Moana 1, and I'm just like... I really like Moana 1, yeah.
01:10:36
Speaker
I don't make the rules. You messin' with my own puss. But... Yo, we're here. Other than that, it really lacked any... anything. It literally lacked anything. Worth note.
01:10:50
Speaker
I actually think it's, I actually might like it more than the first one. That's fucking ridiculous. I don't believe you just said that. I'm saying it. I mean, they're rated the same in my, on letterbox, but I might like the for the second one better. Fuck out of my head. All right. I'll fuck your head. Fuck my face. All right,
01:11:12
Speaker
all right now we're on that soundtrack. ah I'm going to put mine out there and say it's wicked. Uh, movies kind of mid, but the sound, uh, was good. We just record an episode on this. You can go hear my thoughts on that, but, uh, yeah, that's what I'm picking. Mine was also wicked, but I changed it again. And you can classify this as a movie. You can classify this as a concert. Fuck you right here, right now. Best soundtrack to the year.
01:11:45
Speaker
it is and I mean, that is the best. That's actually the right answer. Right? It has to be. It's the right answer. Yeah. I mean, I would make mine that too, but just to not have the same answer. All right. ah Last category for 2024 movies, the most mid movie. I put this here because I just want to shit on the movie for a minute.
01:12:06
Speaker
ah The movie is called the Ministry of ungentimentally warfare and it's based on a true story um But you really can't believe it's true because how much of an easy Experience these people have and like what they incur. It's like a war movie kind of but not really There's like four dudes that go on the secret mission. It's that guy that plays Jack reach in the new Jack Reacher show I forgot his name. He's like all fucking buff. Oh, yeah yeah I think Henry Cavill's in it. I'm pretty sure I don't remember But there's literally no consequence. There's no like conflict They just like go through and like just like kill a bunch of people with no effort and then movie ends. they're like Yeah, that's the story ah It's like and movie has no sauce just no sauce at all And it annoys me that it even got released
01:12:56
Speaker
um And at the end they show you pictures of the real people who did it and it's kind of disrespectful I'll be honest with you because there's literally no ah What's the word heroism heroism heroism there's no heroism in the movie you don't like root for these people cuz you don't fucking care You know how like, uh, uh, the rock and Vin Diesel like won't lose in a fight on screen right or Jason. I'm sorry. Jason Statham. with them That's like what it is. He beat a shark. Right. This is twice. Uh, this is the most mid. Uh, so my most mid I put beetle juice, beetle juice.
01:13:34
Speaker
Yeah, that was like right there with. Yeah. So good. I mean, you take a absolute classic of a fucking movie, right? And make an absolute unnecessary.
01:13:46
Speaker
unnecessary Sequel that just watered down, watered down does nothing to further the story. You had a whole plot point with that bitch that completely didn't mean jack shit. She was, though.
01:14:05
Speaker
Absolutely. Um, you know, I realized what I could have put for biggest disappointment. I'm not going to, I'll just save it. I shouldn't say it. It's going to make you mad. Say it. The substance. Oh my God. Fuck that movie dude. Over a hype, over a hyped fucking movie that isn't as gory and fucking disgusting as everybody makes it sound that it is. Sorry. That's what happens when you over hype a movie. You're going to get that nice looking steel book though.
01:14:33
Speaker
Hell, I sent it to you. Hell yeah. i am i said dude I said that. I said that in the episode. I said that in the episode that I would. Fuck that movie, but I'm gonna buy it. Hey, steelbook clean, dude. True. um sure I have the $43. That's what I paid for it. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes on my wall. that That was the other contender for most mid movie ever. Also, that review got the most likes in my letterbox this year. Crazy. It's it's the most mid review as well. And it got six likes. Nuts.
01:15:01
Speaker
Anyways, you want to say more on Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice? No, I said my piece. I just want to say I saw it twice, so I'm really over it. Also... That's really bad.
Food and Media Finds
01:15:11
Speaker
Shout out to Alamo for doing the pulled pork special when that came out. It was great. Also, Buffalo Wallings, fuck you. Bring back the Big Jack Daddy burger. I'm sick of it.
01:15:21
Speaker
All right, we're gonna move to some physical media awards. We only have two of them. Maybe next year we'll expand extrapolate on this big word. Just kidding, get some more. I have some ah honorable mentions and then I have the one that's the winner winner chicken dinner.
01:15:39
Speaker
First, I will mention, because I didn't know how much how valuable it was when I bought it. I bought this retail price, like $21, whatever it is. The Studio Ghibli Castle in the Sky Steelbook. It goes for big bucks online. I had no idea that it was worth so much money. It's a good one. Yeah. um Also, i actually, one of my favorite, it's like my top three Ghibli's. That's not a hot take. That's pretty cold. Yeah. Autumn, tell us what you think or don't.
01:16:06
Speaker
Uh, the next one, cause I've literally never seen this before. This is honorable mention that I've, I've never seen this before my entire life. And I haven't since it's a Leica steelbook that has all four Leica projects in it. Oh, yeah. That's nice. Coraline, paranormal box trolls and Kubo. Uh, I own the Coraline 4k that came out anyways, the steelbook, uh, paranormal is mid Kubo's mid box trolls. Awesome fucking underrated movie. That's a hot take.
01:16:35
Speaker
That's my next, I'll mention the winner of the best find. This is the best find in, as we call it, the wild. This is not like online. This is just, we found it in person. Right. This should come to no surprise to you. ah The reanimator arrow steel book that I found for retail price at a place that I can't say.
01:16:54
Speaker
um Watch, I can't. I can just say the brand, Bull Moose. Shout out to Bull Moose. I found it for retail price, $30 years after it came out. Years. And the guy was like, damn, did you found this for retail price? Like the cashier. I was like, yep. And he was like, fucking good for you, man. JCard inside. Crazy. It is folded, but at least I have it. That does suck, but you have it nonetheless, because I don't have my JCard for mine anymore. And I got to watch it for the podcast, like use the actual disc, because this looks better fuck streaming.
01:17:25
Speaker
Yeah, if anybody tells you that streaming is the same quality as a disc, don't fucking talk to them ever again. Right. ah So for my best physical media find,
01:17:38
Speaker
I have one honorable mention and I'm going to give it to a combo John. Uh, cause I found both of these collections at my local movie store, which I actually cannot name because it's down the street. Uh, tremors. No.
01:17:58
Speaker
That might be one of my worst purchases buying that yeahll book. Yup. Anyway, uh, the honorable mention is the scream factory fly collection. Oh nice. I got that this year too. Yup. And the scream factory critters collection.
01:18:15
Speaker
W balls, I think, are going out of print, right? Yes. Well, I think fly the fly is out of print. Fly is out of print. Critters is currently going out of print. So there's that. And it suddenly got really fucking dark in here. But my best physical media find in the wild, ah my opinion was the OG Evil Dead Steelbook.
01:18:43
Speaker
That is hard to find. This is hard to find. i It was sealed. The little steelbook logo on the bottom too is all glossy. Oh yeah, it's hot, right? It's hot. It's hot shit. ah It was sealed. I only paid $30 for it, which I'm pretty happy about. If it was the 4K one, I'd probably come my pants for $30, because even the normal 4K is like hundreds of dollars for some fucking reason. um Yeah. But I was really happy to find this. W.
01:19:13
Speaker
uh... the next one is best purchases can be on the internet in the wild anything uh... mine I mean, there's so many. We buy so much. you know Yeah, we buy so much. Also, this podcast started like halfway through the year. So like there's everything I bought before this podcast even started that I could mention. um You know, I'll echo you on The Fly Collection bought that this year. Trick or Treat Arrow release. Great. Was Basket Case this year? The 4K was, I think, yeah. it It looks great. I mean, it's movies kind of mid. but
01:19:49
Speaker
Looks great. yeah There's so many things I could mention. I'm going to give it to funny games. My criteria on criteria. John of funny games. I bought this with you blind. Had no idea what it'd be about. I mean, I had an idea, but I didn't really know. We went back to my apartment and fucked. No, he didn't. I will. Right. And we watch this movie and you've seen it. You rewatch it since I have not. But I was just blown away at how amazing.
01:20:15
Speaker
of a movie funny games is yeah we were both like we watched it and then we were just both like oh what the fuck like needed needed a minute and then watched a serving film after that that's me my best purchase because I just it's not often that I buy I blind buy a movie and then it's a five-star Yeah, that's really hard. Especially a cri like buying a criterion is a risk in itself because they're like they're at least $25. Minimum. So it's like yeah it's hard to um it's hard though just blind buy and then be like, most of my criteria are not five stars. ah So that's my best. I don't really have anything else to add.
01:20:57
Speaker
um so i have
01:21:01
Speaker
I have an honorable mention. Can we say this before you say yours? I'm sorry, really quickly. yeah jar Gerald does more online shopping than I do, so he has more to encompass where mine was easier because I don't buy a lot of shit online. I just thought about all the shit that I bought this year, which is mainly in person. You have a lot more of a scope to like look at.
01:21:24
Speaker
Yeah, I just kind of, hu I see something for a good price and it's mine. That's pretty much, you know, blind by city is how I live my life. Um, uh, I'll put two honorable mentions. So I found at my local movie store, a, uh, steel book collection of like, I think it's like the first three, uh, X-Men movie. Yeah.
01:21:52
Speaker
ah That's pretty fire. I still have that seal. It looks really nice. Yeah, I still have it sealed. I don't know if I'm going to open that, to be honest. I might just keep that one sealed and just stream them. I know what I just said, but that one's long. Well, you just said it's kind of crazy. It's long out of print. I don't know.
01:22:10
Speaker
It's got the OG like Best Buy thing on the J card. I don't know. um Fair enough. And then I'm gonna put Anatomy of a Fall. Let's go! That's an honorable mention.
01:22:27
Speaker
I don't give a fuck. I appreciate the the recognition it's getting. um So right. Yeah, you told me a long time, like you got to watch this fucking movie. And I'm like, dude, I don't care about some dude like falling, right? And straight up, I'm like, it's courtroom drama. How good can it be? Guys, tits. This it's a five star movie. It's amazing. We can't review it for the pod because it would be it's too hard to review. What do you think we could open discuss it?
01:22:57
Speaker
We could open discuss it, yeah. We couldn't do scene by scene. No, I don't wouldn't want to do scene by scene either. It's almost three hours. Yeah. um But it's a fucking fantastic movie. Fantastic movie.
01:23:10
Speaker
The crazier thing to me too is that you watch it on an airplane for the first time. And typically airplane watches aren't great. Like most airplane movies that you watch aren't like fun and like the screen sucks and whatever else. And you still gave it a five star on a fucking plane. On a plane. Well I used my phone. It wasn't theirs. Oh it wasn't their screen. Oh okay that that that changes a little bit. But still it's not a great watch. No but still blew me the fuck away.
01:23:36
Speaker
ah But for my best physical media purchase of the year I'm going to give it to the 4k steelbook of killer clowns from outer space W The steelbook is beautiful. The poster it came with is beautiful ah The 4k transfer is beautiful. And it's one of my favorite horror movies ever. All the time. All the time. Scream Factory really knocked it out of the park. It might be a very generic answer, but I fucking love it. I don't think so. It's on my wall. I'll say that that was like, it was in contention for my best find in the wild because I was just like, when I found it, I was like, there's no fucking way they have this. And then they had three copies of it and I was like, what?
01:24:25
Speaker
Yeah, because it really it quickly sold out online. The pre-orders were gone, though. So i I couldn't even fathom finding it in person. So I mean, there's still so much shit that happened that we missed out on, too, that like we wanted and like never had a chance like a terminator steel couldn't get it. No. um I had no one in my brain. I'm blanking on it.
01:24:51
Speaker
Thanksgiving steals just too much money. I found it I did find it in the wild and I wanted too much money in that movie's mid We have an episode we didn't make it through because we were just so sideways. That'll be on patreon once we have one. Yeah It's like 20 minutes of like bullshit 20 minutes of yeah um Yep, yep So that movie was not
Conclusion and Future Plans
01:25:17
Speaker
good. Mm-hmm um That is gonna wrap up our episode on ah best of two guys one screen our first year um Thank you all so much for listening ah Commenting shout out Jesus and friends um Obviously, like I said, we only included moments like up to Moana basically ah So and candy man's not in there like there's some stuff that we didn't so we're probably gonna be doing the best moments from December to December of next year and
01:25:47
Speaker
Yeah, it's probably best. ah Also, we just both have time for it. Tuesday, it's here, Nosferatu. You'll hear our view on Nosferatu. um Very excited for that. And then we're into 2025, which is kind of nuts. We have some some stuff planned. We're not going to talk about it yet, I don't think. Very excited things planned. Some very excited things planned. We have at least one more guest to show up. And I'll give you a hint. He's a really polioly. Oh, boy. Go ahead. i think I think up is the only way we can go, right?
01:26:27
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, if it goes down, I'm probably considering suicide. Right. because i don't know know Um, but I have very, I'm very excited for the future, the year to come, the movies, the moments, everything. love ah So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pods and any comments, concerns, requests, your favorite moments to two guys, one screen pod at gmail dot.com.
01:26:54
Speaker
Follow us on Letterboxd and follow us on TikTok while it exists. Links are in the description. Yeah, do all that. Enjoy TikTok while it exists. Jesus and friends, get over on our Instagram so you can comment on those pages. We love you, Jesus and friends. I kind of ruined it before. You guys didn't hear, but Gerald definitely did. End of the episode, I always say fuck you, Mark.
01:27:16
Speaker
um I have with me a ah ah Compilation to send us out on of of every single fuck you mark from beginning to end ah So until next week or until Tuesday we will ah see you guys toodles Hey Mark, fuck you. And I hope you enjoy this. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. again fucking um Fuck you, you, Fuck you, Mark.
01:28:02
Speaker
Fuck