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Savage Worlds - The Phony Express 2.3: Hallo Aloe!
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Context
00:00:24
Speaker
Okey-dokey. I am immortal. Maverick is going to die someday. We're all going to die someday. Anyway, good morning. Good afternoon and good evening, ladies, gentlemen, non-binary folks of universes. None and none. This is role players. And hey, welcome back to Phony Express. So full disclosure, because two episodes are already on the server before we've recorded this one, obviously. And those two episodes we recorded like nine months ago.
00:00:50
Speaker
Um, so for us, episode three for you is like episode one for us all over again in a way. Um, so if we seem way more excited to be these characters is because we haven't been them for like nine months or confused.
Maverick's Struggle with Sloth
00:01:04
Speaker
Yeah. Cause we don't remember anything. The other two episodes haven't come out yet. So all the rest of the gang hasn't gotten to really listen to them to catch back up. And I've just been listening to the ends of them to kind of get bits and pieces of where we were. So.
00:01:16
Speaker
This is going to be a little bit of a different stretch from your first two episodes y'all just listened to. Um, so anyway, we're going to try our best to recap everything that I think remember, I think remember, I think Rin remembered happen. Yeah, let's go with that. Um, let me think. So last time on role players, phone express. So we definitely remember on the most previous episode, you guys were,
00:01:42
Speaker
Looking for answers for Maverick's position and he saw that he was all chokied and he had like a little neck chokie hand on his neck area. And then you guys went around looking for answers. You met a traveling merchant at some point. That might have been the episode before that. I can't remember.
00:01:59
Speaker
I'm and then you talk to my job joe about it as well and he told you all that was probably the work of the demon of sloth known as a bad on. I'm going after maverick likely because maverick is old and he still came out of retirement or something of that sort that he's too active for an eighty something year old man and it's time for you to slow down like much of a fan of mine and he wants me to stop.
00:02:26
Speaker
Yeah, and so he told you that there's likely to be very difficult challenges ahead for Maverick and company and just to keep on moving because the moment you slow down, that's when Sloth gets you.
Decision Time: Nitro or Eagle?
00:02:40
Speaker
And that very well could be it. He stopped slowing down when Sloth was about to get him.
00:02:45
Speaker
Um, so there's that. And then towards the end of that episode, uh, several Ravens and comedic fashion kept landing near the phony express talking to Ren and company when they were pressing the Taki boxes. And, uh, ultimately, uh, the red headed Mo the red Mohawk one said that. Punky has a golden eagle that looks injured at his facility. And then Maverick was like, Oh, no, I'm going to go.
00:03:11
Speaker
Um, and that is where we are. Now, as y'all are standing outside the phony express, you got a job. Oh, did I mention the job? Oh yeah. There was also a job, um, that cut him out. What's, what's his name again? Mutton job, Joe. A lot of practice. Jesus Christ. Mutton job. Joe gave y'all also a job that you can go to grand Lake to pick up a shipment of nitroglycerin to take to Jensen because the person who ordered it wants to blow Jensen up. So you can either go do your job for Jensen.
00:03:40
Speaker
slash Grand Lake, or you can go out to Dr. Punkenstein's area to go see who we believe is Ishii. What
Eagle Rescue Mission
00:03:48
Speaker
do you want to do? Take it away, characters in the show. This ain't no time for laughter. Your bird's in danger. My bird is in danger. My bird is in danger.
00:04:04
Speaker
What'd you say, Cutter? I know you're in shock and disbelief, Maverick, but get yourself together. Don't be laughing. I was laughing about my bird. I was laughing about God. All right. I guess we can all of our jobs usually go awry somehow, but I'm sure
00:04:26
Speaker
and or Ren could go get the glycerin and you could take care of your bird. I don't know if Ren wants to go with you because it's her daddy or whatever over there. My dad. You could just come with me if you want to. I suppose, I mean, I was hoping to get his job done so I could, I bet it doesn't really matter, I suppose. Yes, sure, let's all go together. But I do trust you that you can finish this job alone. So it's on you.
00:04:54
Speaker
Well, the more I think about it, the more I think things always go wrong. So the way we all should be together, no matter where we go. Go on your ass to get ripped apart again. Yeah. Yeah, you see it? Now you're finally coming around. I knew it. I told you once, don't get your asshole ripped up every week. Well, not that I don't think Mutton Chop would really care, but we're going to go on his jobs. We're going to take the wagon that we always take with us.
00:05:25
Speaker
We got to go get bitey. Joe says he doesn't care. I forgot. Who's that? Didn't he have a... I honest to Christ. I honest to Christ for Evan is his name. That's it. I feel like I hated him. Yes. Well, I know Ren hated him because he let a dog out once or some shit like that.
00:05:45
Speaker
when he was a kid or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My job, Joe has like a little, a little runner that he goes. He hasn't worked into the bone to do shit for him. Yeah. Put hair on your chest. I was good for you. I had one, but then Joe plucked it out. That's that's a little, um, don't let that man see you without a shirt on, boy.
00:06:08
Speaker
Oh no, he ripped it through my shirt! Don't let him touch your chest, that ain't right either. I'm gonna get on my horse, Butternut, and these guys can ride in the wagon.
00:06:23
Speaker
Butternut says, I ain't seen you in a coons age. I haven't seen you either. But it was only just five minutes ago in the game world. It feels like a baby was fully gestated in the time I've seen you.
00:06:43
Speaker
All right. So are you all going to go together out towards Punky's house or towards the glycerin farm area? Let's get right. And let's go and see what we're all about. Are you going to go with them to Punky's house? Yep.
Dr. Punkenstein and the Aloe Quest
00:07:00
Speaker
All right. So what would you like to do? Would you like to go directly there? Do you guys want to stop anywhere? Are you just hitching up your wagon? Are you taking the wagon? Are you just taking the horses? You say you're taking the wagon to. Oh, yeah, we're taking the wagon.
00:07:13
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. She'll probably go out and get a bitey altogether since she is, you know, the driver and, um, she's going to give him an apple and scratch behind his ears and be like, are you ready to go on a next adventure bitey?
00:07:35
Speaker
Yeah. Fucking. Yeah, dude. I mean. All right. So cutter Maverick, what was your horse's name? Do I remember? I thought you all had horses at one point. That could be true. Are you just riding the buggy?
00:08:00
Speaker
Wasn't your horse's name silver? Didn't you have a horse's name silver? Am I a misremembering that? Jesus Christ, I can't remember anything, y'all. You know what? Tell us in the comments. Tell us in our, you know what, Dixon, send us a letter. All right. Okay. So, uh, let's just take a little.
00:08:25
Speaker
Um, as you guys walk, um, I mean, ride to towards Punky's house, uh, up to the East. Um, I don't remember how I described it, but I'm guessing there's some sort of like weird little wooded area that you find off to the side that you go into and you find his, what does he live in a fucking mansion? Somebody had, somebody had a family house, I imagine. Yeah. So when we pulled up, there was like one of those long driveways that had like the creepy trees with the creepy fog that hangs over.
00:08:53
Speaker
And then it's got like the big like, uh, Gothic style castle mansion type house with like the greenhouse that's off to the side that has just a bunch of like inventions and stuff in it. Kind of like that house in, um, uh, series of unfortunate events with the Indian dude that has all like the big snake or whatever, but it's got a bunch of inventions and stuff in there.
00:09:22
Speaker
Okay. So yeah, that happens. What do you do? She knocks on the door. You hear like a little, you hear like a little chatterbox goes, Who is it? What do you want? Come on in. You know, it's me, Punky. And she opens the door.
00:09:43
Speaker
Hey, who unlocked that? Who did it? And he looks down at one of these little turtles that are painted blue and purple. He goes, did you do it, Jeffrey? Did you leave the door unlocked when you came back in? I knew it. Anyways, what could I do for you? You said just read it. I heard you have a bird. All right, right. I forgot about that. When the fuck did I do that? That sounds like months ago that I did something like that. It kind of does. But yeah, I'm here for more birds.
00:10:12
Speaker
I don't know for sure about that. I saw nine months ago. Well, that is. You know, as he picks up like a turtle and just start stroking its neck, he goes, you know, you really should just like pay attention to your attachment to your creatures because they're all going to die before you probably, but you're old. So maybe I don't know. You're like, is that right, Jeffrey? Right. I think she has my special ability to never die, so that will be fine.
00:10:41
Speaker
Well, I could make that happen. Do you want her to be a robot? I don't know. What does that include? I mean, just look at Rin. Rin's almost perfect. I could make Ishi perfect. I don't... maybe. I don't know. Just think about it there, old guy. Hey, um, hey, yeah, what's that?
00:11:06
Speaker
What's your handsome friend's name back there? I've forgotten. Have I met you before? I think you were at the party, right? Yes. Uh, Carter's kind of standing, like, sheep's leading corner, because he doesn't really like Frankenstein. Yeah, that's right. Yep. Mm-hmm. Ah. Did you do something with your beard? It looks extra nice. Can I touch it?
00:11:23
Speaker
No. I see just like a little like like a little like kind of snakey robotic arm just starts to unfold like I'll come on just a little Pidgey poo. Come on. It's a little one. It's not for touching.
00:11:38
Speaker
How about just a hair to pluck so I can maybe clone you someday? No, no, no, none of that, none of that, none of that there. Keep that. You're so cute. Come on. Just one little bitty. Hunky, Hunky, what are we here for? You sent ravens. What did you call us for? You called me. No, you called us. What did you need? Yes, there are birds. Oh, right, the birds. That's right this way. And then he kind of like, you see just like an old timey wheelchair just kind of like comes and scoots underneath him. And he just starts kind of like wheeling ahead of you. He goes, all right, right this way.
00:12:08
Speaker
And he takes you down like a long corridor into like this big aviary where there's a bunch of fucking ravens with little talkie boxes all over them. You just hear like a loud cacophony of, oh, buggy, oh, buggy, oh, buggy, oh, buggy, mustache, right, mustache, right. And he goes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And you see he kind of presses a little button and like, like a couple of little lanterns light up and you see that there's like a little
00:12:33
Speaker
Uh, like a little pedestal in the center of the room, uh, and like a little cage on top of it. Uh, and within it is a very familiar looking golden bird laying there. And he goes, yes, this thing, this is the thing I was talking about. Is this yours? Is this yours? Can I keep it? Is it? Is it what?
00:12:55
Speaker
I'm asking God. Oh, sorry. Yes, it is Ishii. Sorry. So why not? Once I get punky and it's hard to stop. I apologize. You know what? This is your show. It's not mine. Please look at your bird. I rushed to a cage. And can I see like if Ishii's like injured or something? Yeah. How about you do a little notice roll, my friend?
00:13:25
Speaker
I will say it's very apparent she has black soot all over her. It's a five. But as you're looking into the cage a little bit, you notice that her chest is still moving up and down. She still has air coming in in front of her lungs. But there's a little bit of blood underneath her. And you can see there's a couple little sutures in different places, intermittently, all over her. And it looks like some small little burn marks across her body.
00:13:56
Speaker
where the sutures were put to sew her up. She's covered in black soot. Dr. White, what happened to her? Smells a lot like gunpowder. Do you have any idea what happened to her?
00:14:10
Speaker
Oh, this poor thing. I had Jeffrey do surgery. Yes, you removed quite a bit of gunshot. What are they? What's what's that? What's that stuff that you put in the big boomsticks? It goes, wow. And then there's pepper everywhere. A box shot. Right. I thought that was like when you fire a deer from a cannon.
00:14:30
Speaker
What? You fire what from a... No, Punky, no. You silly man and she like takes her robot hand and tickles the top of his bald head. Okay, okay. You're right. What? Will she be all right?
00:14:50
Speaker
So piece of shit out of me man I just thought you'd want to see her if you don't want her I'll use her to I don't know make like a little drone or something of course I want to keep her but Aren't you like really smart and stuff? So don't you know? She's like all right
00:15:09
Speaker
She doesn't look very alright. I mean, she's alive. I don't know. And you can see that robot arm that comes from his back is reaching towards Cutter's chin again. He's like, I don't know. I mean, maybe. Get that thing out of here. Oh, just a little pitchy. Come on. Damn it. Alright. Yes, I mean.
00:15:33
Speaker
I mean, I suppose we could probably make some sort of medicinal remedy to heal her wounds faster, but... That'd be very appreciated, yeah. Well, what do I look like in an apothecary? I don't carry... I'm not a veterinarian, I just make animals better when they let me.
00:15:54
Speaker
Like, look at this one, look at Jeffrey. Jeffrey, come on out of your shell. And then, like, his head comes up all the way from the floor, all the way up to Punkenstein. And see, look, he's practically a giraffe. See, now, that's science. That's evolution right there. Do you think you'd be able to save Ishi and Punky if, you know, if we are able to find the medicine for her? Ugh, that's so boring. Yeah, probably.
00:16:19
Speaker
Oh, I mean, like, Maverick, would you be okay with, uh, Punkenstein kind of doing his magic on Ishi? She might even be even better after. I mean, if that's really the only way that we can react safer, I mean, sure.
00:16:37
Speaker
I'm going to need a shit ton of aloe to do the thing. Probably. I don't know. I'm assuming. Where do we find a shit ton of aloe? I don't know. What the fuck? I don't know. What do I look like? Someone who grows aloe? If I knew where to get it, I would have it already. I mean, that would be very useful, wouldn't it? Oh, yes, of course. But I'm not God. I can't have all the answers. I'm almost a God, but not yet, unfortunately. I sure wish there was like something that we could like, you know, search into, like,
00:17:06
Speaker
See if there's anything near in the area. Oh, like Google. Hang on a second. You see like a little a little a little a little kitty cat comes running out with a little bell run. It's like goes like, yes, Google, come here. He picks up Google, he's like, all right, what do you want to know? We can ask Google. Google, where is a shit ton of aloe?
00:17:37
Speaker
Yes. How do you know that? Who told you this? That's crazy. What a little Snoopy Snoop you are, Google. Hang on. Hmm. Apparently. Oh, that's interesting. Really?
00:17:59
Speaker
Apparently they grow somewhere near a bullet pond, if you can believe it. I didn't know such things grew out there. It's just a shitty little desolate place to me. Yes, bullet pond. Apparently there's like whole fields of it that grow near the shore of the pond. Don't know why, I don't know how that grows, but that's what it says.
Bullet Pond and Nice Richard
00:18:21
Speaker
I found bullet pond on a map.
00:18:25
Speaker
Oh, good for you. You can use it. You can read a map. You know, maps were only invented when I was born. I think that is a terrible lie. You can't prove it. Oh, I can. I can. Hang on. I'll ask my kitty. All right, Google. Are there maps when he was born? He says yes, and you're stupid for saying otherwise.
00:18:52
Speaker
All right, little Google, tell me a joke. Wow. That's a good one. Oh my god. Also, the weather is going to be sunny. I have a good joke for you. All right, what is it? Come on now. What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair? Not blonde. Artificial intelligence.
00:19:17
Speaker
Oh, that's funny. That's half that's half of what you are. But you're not blonde. That's why I figured you were like you'd like that because you know, you're like totally into that kind of stuff. Anyway, you know me so well. I got one for you. Hey, so hey, what do you what do you call a zoo that only has one that the only animal in it is one dog? Can we like it going?
00:19:45
Speaker
A bird's life is on the line. Yeah. No time for jokes. A shit zoo.
00:19:59
Speaker
Cutter, while they were talking, is there anything that you were doing? Were you looking at anything, thinking about anything, preparing anything since you were kind of quiet? Just hoping to leave. So Jamie, now you have a new quest marker where there's apparently a shit ton of aloe that grows near Bullet Pond, which is off to the far east of Montana. And you also have a mission to go get glycerin from Grand Lake.
00:20:26
Speaker
You know, companion quests are also more important than the main quest. Oh yeah, so they don't die in the finale. Can you show me that map? Oh yeah, sure. It's right on the right of the map. Oh, okay. That little, that's it. That's, oh, I think I popped P O and pond, right? Yes. The other one, that's a little too, that's a little big for me. That's bullet though. Bullet, yeah. It's a thing to shoot. Interesting.
00:20:54
Speaker
Seriously, I thought I would have had him. This is how the bullet is. It's neat to know the things that, like, you know, I've always been using in my life. I have a whole bunch of letters attached to them and I never even know. I know, right? It's amazing. It's like a whole world. That is doing a great job teaching you.
00:21:12
Speaker
Yeah, she's really good at motivating me. I don't want to get you into it, but... I'm sure it's kind of like where you get a letter right and then she, you know, removes something. Let's get our horse and get out of here. She removes going for letters. All right, let's get going, guys. Bye, Punky. She kisses his forehead. All right, make sure that you bring me something delicious back.
00:21:42
Speaker
But kind of, oh, okay, I got you. Don't worry. I know what to bring. Surprise me. Not you. Not you. All right. Now go spy on some more people. Go collect data like you do, you little data thief. Go on.
00:22:02
Speaker
It's like cats sneaking around like listening to everyone. He's got like little talkie boxes and shit that he just like her little recording boxes. He's just stealing information from everybody then goes back and gives it the fucking stuff. Now we got now we all know the origins of Google. You're welcome. 1901 do dad. All right. So what's your next move kids? We're going to go to the wagon.
00:22:30
Speaker
I will go to bullet pond and you can join me, but if you don't join me, I won't hold it against you. Well, we're already on now out here. We're going to come along, I suppose. Yeah, we're not splitting up. Remember? That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Remember what happens when you guys leave my side? Bad things happen, right? Things burn. That was a long time ago. It may have been like yesterday for us, but it was a long time ago.
00:22:59
Speaker
I mean, I cried yesterday, but yes. Yeah. Well, let's not test that theory that if it, you know, just because we haven't had anything bad happen to us lately, like let's not, let's not get too complacent. Actually never got haunted while we were all together. So maybe this whole thing. That was his fault. No, it's my fault I'm haunted. I tried to tell him no.
00:23:27
Speaker
I tried to tell him don't get haunted. I tried to tell him don't get haunted because he won't like it. But you know, he was just like, no, I want to. And you're right. I don't like it. Well, you know, I'm not going to say that's a bad idea because sometimes it's actually really fun to be haunted. Not that I know from personal experience. Never mind. Anyways, let's go. Let's go. I don't agree with that. So you guys are going to go continue east towards bullet pond. Yes.
00:23:56
Speaker
and take a lot of bullets with us. All right, so you will, Pat, if you guys go straight from Punky's place and around, you will have to go around or through Ghost Alley to get there. It is a bit of a ride, so it's probably going to take you a day or two to get there. I go back to that place. We're going to steer clear of that ghost place there.
00:24:16
Speaker
Go around. You kind of hear off and distance. I love you. So as you guys do that, would you guys like to make camp along the road somewhere? Would you like to find you're going to have to I mean, if you can't ride through the night if you wanted to, I wouldn't advise it, but it's your story. You can do it if you want.
00:24:43
Speaker
I feel like we like set up camp somewhere near steer lodge over there. You're going to head up upward towards to the north towards steer lodge.
00:24:54
Speaker
Yeah, just there at the base of the canyon. We'll set up camp there at the bottom of the hill. Yeah. Cut a wide swath away from that lodge. Yeah, yeah. Good idea about the wide, the wide barf. Yeah. So you guys get up there and you set up camp. Boy, I feel like forever and a day since we fucking played Savage Worlds, I forget what the rules are. I'm going to get cooking up these beans here. You know what? Can you roll a cooking roll? We don't have a cooking roll.
00:25:21
Speaker
I have beans that I can roll. Can you roll beans? Roll my beans. Roll your beans. Roll survival. That's the word I was looking for. I got a piece of survival. I can whip up a fire and a bean cooking operation here right quick. I gotta fuck up on that one. I'm going to use this thing because I don't want these beans real bad. Oh no, you ruined the beans.
00:25:40
Speaker
I guess that was just maverick. Give me another chance. Let me see I Think I'm from Tennessee I can't remember where I said I was really from back in Tennessee. We call this black and bean spread We do we burn it up a little on purpose is better this way. Are you making English breakfast? We just put it on bread Yeah, I got five cans of bean sores having beans here, I mean
00:26:08
Speaker
Oh, you're cooking a can of beans for each of y'all? Yeah. We all get our own SpaghettiOs, Jor. It's only one spoon, so we're going to have to share. We found a five pound can of beef ravioli at this grocery outlet here for it was like $3.99. And Perry was like, yup, and picked it up. And I was like, oh, god.
00:26:39
Speaker
So you have a nice bean meal and y'all are just gonna have a little nappy Rooney for the night Yes
00:26:48
Speaker
Oh, you could tell us our ghost stories. Yeah, do you guys want to tell ghost stories? We already lived through one maverick. I ain't trying to hear none. I want to sleep tonight. Dang it. I ain't too proud to say I'm nervous about the ghosts. I think they might still come up this way. So no ghost stories? No. And then they found his axe.
00:27:13
Speaker
That was a happy story. That made me, I feel like I'll have a good night's sleep. Yeah. You know, I, they just really needed to chop that wood for their fire, for the big bonfires. So they were like, yes, we found his axe. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. No, not dead. No. From unrelated reasons. And that dad found them.
00:27:37
Speaker
Like months later though, like for a long time. Oh, that's good. A maverick was starting to scare me. It was fine. He just like, he got too excited with his wife and you know, he died during the making. It was fine. It happened. Oh my god. That's not making it happen. Yeah. Be careful. Yeah. You know what I'm trying to do? Like a mukbang and then that just died. You know, that would be a way to go.
00:28:02
Speaker
Or I'm going to bed, is it going to be a lie? I'm sleepy, y'all. The storm's rolling in.
00:28:19
Speaker
I never did buy no rain slicker or a tent thing it was dumb. We never had weather happen before
00:28:33
Speaker
that's a new mechanic now of a sudden you hear off in the distance is that one of that dang fungicides birds again oh probably
00:28:47
Speaker
Um, so yeah, there's a little bit of a storm rolling in. It's not like a heavy downpour, but like, you know, there's some intermittent thunder cracks like throughout the night. And you know, you hear the soft pitter patter of rain as it moistens the earth. Um, you guys have a tent in your wagon, I presume. Hey guys, we really need, oh, we can just sleep in the wagon. We really needed this rain, you guys. Let's just cuddle. It's fine. We just needed this rain. Yeah. Yeah. There's always that guy.
00:29:17
Speaker
Boy, where's your data desk, huh? How ever could you be in the middle? Oh, y'all spooning? Okay. I don't want to bump into that big old tank. I want to get any hot water all over me. I think Maverick ends up cuddling with Carter when he sleeps. Okay. Carter cuddles him back. I don't realize.
00:29:44
Speaker
It has her arm and leg over the both of them like seat belting them to the ground. So as you all are sleeping, Maverick, you start to have a bit of a like a fitful of vivid.
00:30:05
Speaker
I guess you'll call it a dream. It's the closest approximation. Almost like a vision of sorts while you're sleeping where you start to see Nashor again and you see him just swinging his axe around everywhere and he's cutting up people and doodad.
00:30:23
Speaker
How did you get loose again? You try to say, yet words do not come out as he stands over top of you. So as you're trying to vocalize all these frustrations and questions, nothing comes out. And then he's standing over top of you with his axe covered in blood.
00:30:42
Speaker
And then he swings it down on you. And then you hear Rin's voice. And then they found his axe. No, you can't. That sucks. Yeah, it's one of those paralysis demons that you hear about. And then as the axe comes on you and you hear, and then they found his axe. You all wake up in the morning to the sound of a
00:31:10
Speaker
of a very naughty crow standing outside your tent going, a cock a dude will do. I'm glad you were treating your beans side like a really bad one. Yeah. Bad beat. I tried my best. I messed them up a little bit. I'm sorry.
00:31:37
Speaker
you know maybe we could just combine our dreams next night uh i don't know what you're talking you're talking some weird i slide out of the way you're talking some weird stuff maverick you know i'm still a bit sleepy so who if you be all right as you climb out the wagon you see like a chicken that looks a lot like hey hey from moana he's like i can't get there today oh
00:32:01
Speaker
I said breakfast. I was going to say I pull my rifle up, but it's pretty high caliber. I'd buy and pull that chicken apart. Anybody got a small caliber weapon? I would try and lunge at the chicken with my arm blades. With your assassin's green knife. Wait, I got a rope. I'm more. Last one is chicken.
00:32:28
Speaker
All right. Cut a roll. An agility roll for lassoing the guy and the chicken. And I guess Maverick roll a fighting roll. You can attack it with your knife. I don't know. I guess I hear you laughing back there. I don't know what you're laughing at, though.
00:33:08
Speaker
I'm going to roll just a straight d6 for this chicken to see if we can dodge your rolls.
00:33:21
Speaker
He rolled a one, he does not. He is too busy a cocking and doodling to do anything. Yeah, he's just like, little sparkles are falling off him. He's had a wild night. He went, he went to like something that's equivalent to the burning man out here in the fucking desert.
00:33:46
Speaker
He's like a cockadoodle. And you like fucking yank that. You yank that rope tight and you got them all lassoed and then Maverick goes. And then he's his doodle into that cock. Fatality. You hear a cockadoodle. And you have a dead chicken. Let's pluck this sucker and get to cooking. You want to beak? I mean.
00:34:15
Speaker
Sure. All right. It's a delicacy in Tennessee. I was also thinking that could be like a replacement part if like Peng and Si needs to do something with Ishi.
Confrontation with Hunters
00:34:27
Speaker
Okay, there you go. Get a point of chicken meat going. Yeah. Rin, while they're fighting or preparing a chicken, what are you doing?
00:34:40
Speaker
I'm watching them taking notes and also drawing this scene because... Oh, it's a great scene. Rin is like, what? He's like, yeah!
00:34:57
Speaker
Just imagine an old man with a knife and a fucking and a handsome man fucking with a with a fucking rope. He's like, wow, she's she's got her notebook out and she's got her pencils. She's like laughing as she's drawing this chicken. Yeah, we need this art. We need this art.
00:35:22
Speaker
A less connected to Qatar and Maverick, like, hungrily. A drooling and standing over him with a knife like he's like, yeah, yeah, that's the poster for the show right there. OK, so you guys do that. You prepare a nice chicken meal this morning.
00:35:52
Speaker
It goes off without a hitch. You're all good. Is there any other preparations or things you want to do before you continue your journey towards Bullet Pawn? Ren is going to make sure that Vidy is okay. Everything's all put together right. Everything's all bite. Vidy is still biting. Vidy is biting around looking for some sort of food. She's going to give him an apple. She's got a ton of them in her backpack.
00:36:22
Speaker
She makes sure that she keeps him, you know, nice and fed. Oh yeah, you got it. Bitey gonna bite him. Bite, don't get bitey. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Cutter, what about you? You guys are, you finished your, your, your chicken breakfast? Oh, chicken dinner. Chicken dinner? Breakfast. Breakfast, breakfast. I know you're an old timer and you folks like to go to bed early, but it's only, it's only 7 a.m.
00:36:48
Speaker
If you don't sleep, it's, it's breakfast. So it's not breakfast. I don't know what your, I don't know what your day you're talking about, but remember what old creepy Joe said, mutton chop creepy Joe. If you stop moving, uh, sloth, does that sloth will get you. Then I guess you better get moving again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys continue back towards bullet pound. We get moving.
00:37:18
Speaker
Yeah. All right. Describe how you move. On a horse. And it moves. I don't move too much. I feel like we'd be like riding like side by side, you know, still just kind of chit-chat and on the way there. I'm just chilling in your back end, singing some old songs. Yeah. Songs do you sing?
00:37:54
Speaker
That's what I was hoping you were thinking when you said you were singing songs. Good times.
00:38:04
Speaker
It's good to be good, baby. I appreciate that toss. I actually listened to that this morning. I'm glad you like it. Hey, check me out on Spotify, guys. Just look up. I knew it. Random Adam. That's random A-T-O-M on Spotify. I have it on my playlist. I listen to it every day.
00:38:27
Speaker
So you guys make your way singing all your fun songs and you approach Bullet Pond. It's been a few more hours. And then like a fucking rock comes out of nowhere and smacks you in the head. And it's just like a baby standing there with rocks. He told me to, mom.
00:38:55
Speaker
So you guys approach a bullet pond and, um, you guys can see why it's called bullet pond because as you approach the pond, it looks like a, a pond. That's very good. We found it guys. I'm going to keep doing that. I bet they call this place Paul on account. It's a pond. That's, I can't believe how words work. That's amazing. Now that I'm learning to read, it's all incredible. Yeah. The world's opened up to me. This is amazing.
00:39:25
Speaker
Uh, cut a roll a, a common knowledge roll. Oh, if anything is about my knowledge is one thing, it's common. I got a four in that. Oh, you're the fucking 21. 21 on your roll though. That picture of Professor Xavier holding his hand to his temple.
00:39:45
Speaker
So yeah, I feel like something slowly unlocking in you since you since you looked at the map and then you're talking about words and you're like, you're spending more time contemplating words and why they're words. I feel like that's another step up in your direction of brain is growing. Yeah, you feel just like a little bit of pressure on the left side of your brain for a little bit. And then it's just kind of feels like a trigger point has been released in your body. Boy scarecrow, you're getting some knowledge.
00:40:16
Speaker
Um, so you guys get to bull a pond, um, and you guys can see like off on the other side of the pond, it's not a particularly huge pond, but it's like, it's, it's probably like, uh, maybe like a half a mile across or so, um, like compared to like most bigger ponds or lakes or something like that. Um, it's more of a lake than it is a pond, but they call it a pond. Um, and, uh, you see kind of across the way, there's kind of like a little shack over there. Um, where there might be some,
00:40:44
Speaker
some dwellers of sorts. And then around the area, you can see it's a little bit more green as you approach it, as opposed to the more desert-like dirt that you see, or the more barren wastelands that you see. There's a lot more foliage here, a lot more greenery. There's some flowers growing up on the hill. And yeah, you just got to go figure out where those aloes are. Probably where the greenery is. Where the greenery is, wow. Yeah. What exactly is an aloe?
00:41:13
Speaker
I'm not really sure. Do you think that maybe those people in the little home over there might know? Yeah.
00:41:28
Speaker
Indeed. Let's do it. And I brought those feathers along so we can maybe be like, hey, you want these feathers and stuff, any of your pillows or anything? That'll surely warm some hearts. I mean, barter system is real, you know? We never need it. I'm not going to, I mean, don't over with the feathers. I also would like to keep them from my own bed at home. I think you should say hello to them since you're like young and handsome. I am. Thank you, man. We're just very nice, as you say. Yeah, you should probably do the talking because I don't know how people are around these area because
00:41:57
Speaker
You know, like that one town that didn't like my arm and they called me a freak. Like, I don't know if they're going to be too kind to me anyway. So like, it'd probably be better if you did it. Yeah. All right. Let's go over yonder then. Okay. All right. You go over yonder. You're at yonder now. Oh, here we are at yonder.
Reflecting on Morals and Healing Ishii
00:42:20
Speaker
I knock upon yonder door.
00:42:23
Speaker
the name plate says yonder family family yonder. And then as you knock on the door, you see there's like a little window to the left of the door that kind of opens up kind of like a walk up like ice cream parlor. And like you see like a guy with like kind of flattened down like salt and pepper hair and like a really, really well groomed little pencil mustache.
00:42:48
Speaker
Um, and he's wearing kind of like black and white clothes. He has like a black shirt on like some kind of like white, dirty pants. Um, and he leans forward to the window. Um, and he says, boy, what can I do for you?
00:43:04
Speaker
Oh, hello. Sorry to interrupt you at this early hour. First of all, may I say, well, first of all, my name is Kutter O'Toole. I know. This here, ladies are in. Don't know her last name. And this here is Maverick. I also don't know his first or last name, just know him as Maverick. Right. I'm Maverick, last name Rick. Oh, isn't he? Man, all this time. See, this is why I need to learn some more words better. Anyway, may I say, sir, one mustache aficionado to another. I love your mustache.
00:43:33
Speaker
It's very, very good. Very well maintained. What's your name, sir? Could you give me just one moment? He shuts the window and then he walks out the door and he's wearing a totally different outfit. He's wearing his best bright blue button-up shirt and some nice dark pants. He's got a little bolo tie and a big old 10-gallon hat on his head. He walks up and he gives you a big old hug and he goes, thank you.
00:44:02
Speaker
It is all I want for people to notice how much I put into my looks. And I appreciate, oh my god, so much. He just kind of gives you like his really tight embrace. Oh yeah, wait. I understand, feller. I just started maintaining the mustache myself. I didn't know how many oils. Oh, thank you for letting me know. You want me to tickle you with it? No, no. It's all right. It's all right. You didn't get me a little on the chin, my neck there. I felt it. Oh. Don't you freeze on my neck too there. Don't you touch my neck a little too. That's a little weird. Oh, you know what? That's just where I'm from. We greet people that way with neck kisses. Now you kiss mine.
00:44:32
Speaker
That's right. Okay. I kiss my neck kind of want to be rude. Then he looks over at Renny goes kiss my neck. Uh, sure. Oh, thank you. She does. You old man, you handsome rugged old beast. He's my neck. Um, do you have some aloe around here? Kiss my neck and I will tell you everything you want to know. I never kiss a man's neck. All right, I guess. I'll kiss your neck.
00:45:03
Speaker
Oh, that's nice. Oh, forgive me, my manners. It's just been so long since anybody's come out to greet me. You can call me. My name is Richard. My friends call me Nice Richard. That's pretty nice. Yes, I like to think so. Thank you so much. You're so sweet. I love your beard. Thanks. I like your beard too. Come here, kiss my neck again.
00:45:28
Speaker
I would prefer not to kiss your neck all the time. Why not kiss your neck? So delicious, so handsome, so rugged. So what did you want? What did you get me for? I look at his teeth because I'm kind of suspicious about him like being in my neck all the time. He doesn't have fangs if that's what you're looking for.
00:45:54
Speaker
Although they are amazing, perfectly straight, sparkly, glistening in the sun when he smiles. Just a radiant human being. I'm sorry, did you say something about Alo? Yes. Fun fact about Alo, that is also how you say hello in Germany. Hello. I've heard about it before, yeah. Oh, you have? A well-traveled man, perhaps. I am. He's one of the smartest fellers I know.
00:46:24
Speaker
Oh, that's nice. All right, so Cutter, it was? Yes, yes, yeah. Were you looking for Aloe? Did you just mention Aloe? That is what we mentioned, yes. All right, so how much do you need? A shit ton. Maverick. We just met this fellow. Don't use foul language, Aloe. I mean, that's not pungence at all. We just need a lot. Like a lot. Oh, I see.
00:46:53
Speaker
We got that big wagon back there as much as we can fill in with that sucker. Yeah. And did you bring any money or perhaps something to trade or maybe a back massage? I have some money. Oh, I mean, we're just hoping for the information. We point us the right way. We'll go pluck it ourselves there. Oh, wait. Did you say you've got the marijuana? Yeah.
00:47:20
Speaker
You know what, I'll take an answer for whatever you've got, the back rub from you and all the money from you, and we'll be good to go. Which one of you as you pointed out went for back rub? Well, the old one was the, excuse me, the wise one mentioned money, so. From now on you shall call him maverick the wise. As long as you call me the nicest Richard.
00:47:50
Speaker
I shall call you the next good shot. What shall we call you, Rin? Do you want the nickname? You can have whatever you want right in the middle of nowhere. You can be your own person. Who do you want to be? I'm good with just Rin. I'm fine with just being Rin. All right. Thank you, though. Can I tell you that I love how your clanky arm sparkles in the sunlight and the places where the rest does not grow? Oh, thanks. Do you want a spark tube? Do I want a hoop?
00:48:20
Speaker
Do you want to spark a dupe? Spark a dupe? Oh, no, I do not make it in a dupe. I bake it. Oh, well, here's your ounce. Oh, man, that is nice. All right. So you just want me to fill up your wagon with the aloe? Hello, yes.
00:48:42
Speaker
He's like, hello, yes. All right. So, um, you guys exchange, um, he has, he says, all right, I'm going to say, you know, if, uh, if your friend gives me the back rub, then, uh, let's just call it, um, let's say like $12 for the, the shit ton that you ask for, for the allowance. Sounds good.
00:49:05
Speaker
Then he assumes a position. He pulls out like a little stool and sits down in front of cutter. All right. Um, you know, don't be shy. Uh, it over the shirt only. Oh man. I wouldn't have it anyway. I'm a little self-conscious about this, the, the, the man underneath. I'm still working on my myself.
00:49:20
Speaker
It's alright, I understand feller, I don't want to be taking my shirt off in front of you neither. I look back at the other guys and I'm like, don't tell Matthew. And I give him a back rub. Alright, can you roll something for me? And I'm doing like the elbow and the karate chops. Nice, nice. You know, make it an athletics roll. Okay. See how good you are at it. I got a nine. That's a niner. He goes, oh.
00:49:49
Speaker
You know what I think? And he starts to weep a little. You see like some tears come out of his eyes and he goes, you know, I, I just been out there so a lot. I did not realize this how much I miss the human company or partially human company. Let it out there, feller. You know, you carry a lot of stress in your, in your shoulders. Don't you? Yes. You know, I, um, it is not for me to share, but I just, um, I had to move out there because I've been haunted. Why are you haunted by a feller?
00:50:18
Speaker
My past, my dreams, the ghosts, demons, angels, all of the things that people do not believe me for. Hey, you're talking about folks because we just had some spooky encounters for our own recently. Yeah, I'm Chris as well.
00:50:35
Speaker
Mavericks haunted, too. He's got a demon touch his neck or something, right? Yeah. He like sits up right away, stands. He does like a 360 spin, and then he has like a black cape that he has over his shoulder and a sword in his hand. He goes, I'm sorry, what did you say? Hold, hold, hold, hold. Take it easy there, fella. What are you doing there?
00:50:55
Speaker
Are you ghosts? Am I alone again? I have had dreams like this before. No, no. You're real humans. We got, we met some ghosts and it wasn't quite for me. Ain't going back to ghost alley. That's for dang sure. Oh, oh yeah. Do not go to ghost alley. You know, there, you know what? You've probably met them, but there are some creepy people there in the ghost alley. Yeah. I think one of them was that literal, truly a creep in normal fashion as well as a ghost fashion. Didn't like them.
00:51:24
Speaker
Yeah, I believe you. So what do you need all this aloe for anyway? And why are you talking about the ghosts? I'm the only one who's ever listened to me. When you start talking about the ghosts, you brought it up this time, pillar. Yes, I know. But why are you talking about ghosts? How do you know about the ghosts and the phantoms and the demons? What do you know that I don't know? You know, like Carla just mentioned, we've been to Ghost Alley and we saw them ghosts there. We saw them ghosts, sir. I see. I quite like it.
00:51:52
Speaker
Hang on a second. And he races over to you, Maverick. And he says, you know what? I did not kiss your neck. And now I see why. You have the mark, don't you? I do have a mark, yes. A mark I would prefer not to have. Oh. Well, you know, if you put a little bit of aloe on there, that will go away in like a day. I mean, maybe you're right. Maybe that's how it works. No, no, I know. I know everything there is to know about aloe. This is my business.
00:52:21
Speaker
The aloe business? Yes, it is a very succulent planted species of the genus aloe, widely distributed, very invasive in most parts of the world, but not here, usually dry climates. Hm. Originates from the Arabian Peninsula, in case you didn't know. Hey, you're very knowledgeable about these things. Oh yeah. Thank you, my friend, yes, quite. Um, but alright, you know what, just, um...
00:52:46
Speaker
I cannot have you stay here because you have the mark of the devil and, you know, to be in trouble for me, I have my own devil problem. So I'm just going to say here's your shit ton of your finest aloe. Thank you for your finest brownie mix there, Ms. Rin. Hey, you're welcome. Anytime. By the way, do you happen to know Boz Boz Boz? Yes, it is my favorite place to go. Oh my God, it's your favorite too.
00:53:13
Speaker
Yes. We should go together. We should exchange like info. What's your address? I'll write you some time. Oh, um, I'm one main street. What? Oh, that's easy to remember. Um, out of what city? Do that. Okay. Oh, do that. I haven't been able to do that since I was a little lad. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I own the brothel there. It's called matching carpets.
00:53:37
Speaker
Oh my, I have not been inside of a brothel in many a day. I've not felt a man or a woman's touch in a long time. It's fine. Cutter, thank you so much for your hands on payment. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.
00:53:56
Speaker
Don't ever mention it. Literally don't. Oh, I want to tell all my friends. That's all right. I'm not in the market of always doing that sort of thing. He has like a quill in his hand. He's already like starting to write a letter on some paper and he's like, dear, they're in. Is it two ends or one? Just one.
00:54:18
Speaker
A very handsome man gave me a massage. Another older handsome man gave you money. And another older handsome man stuffed money down my underwear.
00:54:30
Speaker
as he walks off into the door and continues narrating as he writes. And you guys have a shit ton of LO in your wagon. Nice, Richard. Nice, Richard. Courtesy of Nice Richard. What do you want to do? I mean, let's go back quickly so we can, like, kill Ishi, right? Yeah. Did you say kill Ishi?
00:54:58
Speaker
heal. Oh, let's go kill Ishi. Let's go get this healing stuff so we can kill her. Kill it? Yeah, just hold it in front of him.
00:55:10
Speaker
Um, so you guys start your traveling back, um, towards, um, towards where you came from. Um, and you do, uh, as you guys travel for a couple of hours, um, you guys come across other people who were kind of starting to make up campus, getting a little late. Um, well, it's not getting super late, but like, you know, the sun's starting to go down as well. Like four or five o'clock. Based on my reading of Western novels, I know that whenever travelers come up to another camp in Western times, they would say, hello, the fire.
00:55:39
Speaker
And we would like to come where you're accepted of company. People at the fire. Oh, yeah, come on. We're just Red Dead Redemption 2 where you're all assholes and enticed me to try and shoot you. No, no, come on over. Me and Jed, we're just getting ready to play a game of cards. Oh, wonderful. Hey, come on in here. They already got a fire going on everything here. We got, I mean, how many beans you got, Maverick? I only got two left. We can split some. You guys want some beans? We got some fine beans.
00:56:09
Speaker
Oh, I mean, we'll take, we'll take some beans. We got some, we got some hard tack. We got some bread, uh, got some crackers, a lot of cars. Yeah. Yeah. We, we didn't really plan on this trip. We took, we kind of took it spuriously so we don't have anything other than beans. So you want to share some bread. We'll share some beans. Have ourselves a old fashioned, uh, feast. Oh, hell yeah. For sure. Um, yeah. Oh, hey, missy. That's quite the, that's quite the contraption you got on your, on your arm there.
00:56:38
Speaker
And on your backside. What's that all about? So I'm kind of robotic and then I'm kind of human. What's robotic? What's that mean? What the fuck are you talking about? Like I'm metal. Like I'm kind of metal. I'm so metal. Oh, did you lose it in like a war or something? Or did like some of the natives come and take your arm? I heard that they were doing that.
00:57:02
Speaker
No, I was made by my... I don't know what to call him, but... Oh, you were made to call him that. Yeah, like I was... I guess I could say that I was like found half dead and then like he fixed me and then like basically made me into a new person, if that makes sense.
00:57:26
Speaker
All right. You know what? That sounds like the perfect kind of talk for, you know, telling spooky stories like that. Consider we're not too far off from ghost alley. I know it was your fire and all, but I don't like them scary stories. Oh, no, it ain't no problem. Hey, mister, you're a guest around our fire. So, you know, don't even worry about it. That's your destination yet that you're going.
00:57:55
Speaker
Where are you heading? Oh, sorry. That was a big $2 word. I confused it for a second. It's fine. Yeah, so, you know, my friend Stan up there, he's in the tent. He's kind of patching up a wound real quick. We're trying to find some creep, apparently, that sells aloe. He got banged up pretty good by a wild animal. So I'm just trying to help him get it all patched up so we can continue back to town and sell some cool stuff we found. Yeah, yeah.
00:58:23
Speaker
Anyway, I'm sure we can manage to spare. We got shit ton. Oh, really? Is it technical term? Oh shit. What? Oh, hang on. Y'all got what in your wagon? Y'all got fucking aloe? We can spare some. We gotta, we gotta heal a bird or something back. Sounds kind of silly when you talk about it out loud. We know what's fucked up. It's part of our family. Uh, you know what? My boy Stan, who's currently like, you know, putting bandages all over his face, got attacked by a goddamn bird today.
00:58:54
Speaker
Well, it wasn't ours. Ours is up in a sick bed. What's yours look like? Oh, wait, hang on a second. Let me show you this. Hey, Stan, bring out bring out bring out a fucking bird out, bro.
00:59:05
Speaker
because we said bro back then. You see, this guy comes out like he's got like a white stained like kind of, you know, shirt on white bloodstain shirt on, you know, that he looks like he had like, you know, his he has bandages across the left side of his face and over his eye. And there's just like blood that's kind of like kind of like bleeding through them already. And he kind of comes out and he says, he's like, what do you want, bro? Because we said, bro.
00:59:35
Speaker
And, um, you don't need to draw attention to it. He's like, and just like, you know, bring out that, bring out that fucking bird. Uh, you know, we got some company. I was like, all right. I mean, if that's what you want, Jesus fucking Christ. Um, he kind of hobbles back and he's like, you know, I got a fucking bird wound on my face, but yeah, sure. I'll go bring it to other dead one that tried it. Okay.
00:59:57
Speaker
And he kind of comes out and he's holding like, um, you know, like kind of like a little sack in his head, like a, like a, like a burlap sack. Um, and he reaches into it. It's gets got blood all over it too. And he pulls out like a golden bird, a big old golden eagle out of it. Uh, that's got like blood all over it. And it's kind of dripping a little, um, nieces. Yeah. It's just, there's one look just like this. And we was just out for a fucking hunt. And this son of a, that son of a bitch got me real good. But I got this one.
01:00:26
Speaker
Well, dang, I do love them. Maverick, you must've got a, these, those birds are deadly. Maverick on his train very well. It's a very, very nice. Maybe should like search for like easier prey next time. Oh, I don't know, man. I mean, how much is it?
01:00:41
Speaker
Golden Eagles, I'm pretty sure that's what this is. You know how much money we're gonna get for this thing I want to go find that other bastard that took try to take my eye out. We're gonna get a good old little penny for these That's a fella. Yes, that's that's gonna cut us a rest and you shouldn't be killing off all the rare crea that's I mean ain't many of them and little suckers around you don't put them out of life, buddy. They're open time I Don't know what I mean. They're in danger because I'm on shooting
01:01:08
Speaker
Although we're going to have to catch the other one because this one got a little buck shotty, so I'm probably going to have to probably bang it up a little too much. We're probably going to lose a little value, but now I know what it is. We're just going to catch that other one real sneaky like. We're going to get them. We're tracking them now. We get my eyes all patched up because, man, I hurt. Well, I mean, I guess that's your business. That's your business, I suppose.
01:01:32
Speaker
The market telling people how to live their lives, I suppose. Yeah. Y'all hunters too, like us? Only out of necessity for eating. We killed a chicken earlier. Yeah. Did y'all find a chicken out here? That's cool. We found a chicken. Really not a weird, sprawling looking with big old bug eyes, but we, meat was meat. Oh yeah, for sure. I think it was confused about what it was too. Like it was saying cockadoodle do instead of the gawk.
01:01:58
Speaker
Oh, oh shit. Oh man. That's what they say in the morning. That's how they wake you up. That's a rooster though. That's what I'm saying. Can you see the weird red hanging off his little neck? That's what they have.
01:02:14
Speaker
A rooster is a chicken, Rin. Two totally different things, Cutter. No, you're thinking of a hen. Rin, a female chicken is a hen. A male chicken is a rooster or a cock. Well, yeah, but it was a hen chicken. It wasn't a man. I think we were looking at two different chickens. I don't know. Maybe you... I thought that thing had some talking bubbles on his face. Did you get into my stash again and switch my stuff?
01:02:43
Speaker
I think you've been taking too much of that. I'm trying to tell you, stop putting that in your water tank. It's too much. No way, man. That's how I get it the best. She's constantly vaping. I can smell that. It's making my eyes watery and dry. I don't like it. Are you hungry all the time? Thank you. Let me get closer to your tank. Let me smell it. Why do you think I went so hard trying to last to a dang chicken? I was starving.
01:03:07
Speaker
Well, all I can say chicken was delicious. It was a good call. I would love to get some chicken. Hey, you know what? Look, y'all don't have to. I mean, I hate to call in a favor considering you're using our fire. But, you know, again, like Stan's pretty banged up. We got we're going to use the aloes. That's really going to shave down some time, I suppose. But but hey, if you know we're going to be heading back, probably resting at different towns on the way back to the west.
01:03:36
Speaker
But we're probably gonna stop around like, I don't know, Dickey Lake or maybe lame duck pond on the way. So maybe just kind of look for us if you guys are heading that way. Because we're looking, we're trying to attract this fucking eagle, man. I mean, I know we got him. We wounded him. I know that. Somehow that little son of a bitch got away. So if you just see like a little wounded eagle somewhere around here, you might just like snagging that bad boy for us or at least tell us where you seen him. You know, you don't gotta do the catch, you will do it.
01:04:03
Speaker
Rin is going to kind of nod and go, sure, sure. And she's going to pull the rifle off of her back and shoot the guy in the face. You're going to shoot him? Jesus Christ. He killed each or he shot Ishii. Oh, you don't really know that. That's an assumption. That's what I deduced. And so that's what I'm going to do. OK, so you're going to.
01:04:32
Speaker
You're gonna grab your rifle? Uh-huh. And I'm gonna shoot this guy in the face.
01:04:39
Speaker
Um, well, I don't know if I would notice something that happened right away. What would you maybe do to try and see if I would notice that happening and try and stop? Well, I will say, I will say that I think when Rin got the rifle, we agreed that she would keep it on her horse or on the because it would be too big to carry like around with everything else because with the tank and everything. So if Rin were to pull out her pistol, it'd be a lot harder to stop. But if she's going to reach for her gun, which is near the wagon, you probably have more time to notice it.
01:05:08
Speaker
But she's standing next to the horse anyway. So you're going to reach into the wagon and grab your gun.
01:05:15
Speaker
Yeah, you know what, Carter, let's have you and Ren do maybe I don't think that Ren knows that she's to to be fair. I'm probably ever sitting by the fire talking. He's going to be. So I don't know if Ren would know that you're in a competition, but like, I don't know if you can do anything about it, but you could probably see she's going to do it. But yeah, I want you to just roll a notice real quick just to see if you can see the reason for a gun.
01:05:38
Speaker
Nope. Nope. Yeah. So Ren, you grabbed your gun and I guess- I'm starting to be like, oh, damn. As a player, I was going to ask if I thought Ishigas shot in our last endeavor, but now I'm thinking I didn't realize she didn't. And I'm like, well, maybe I would. I'm looking at her like, maybe, I don't know. Even if it was nine months ago, I think I would have remembered if she got shot.
01:06:03
Speaker
Yeah, so so they were just we were just at Punkenstein's house and he had to heal or save Ishi because she had been shot. I remember that. I just didn't remember. I thought, yeah, so so I'm putting this all together that this guy was this guy that shot Ishi. So you're going to shoot this guy in cold blood because he had no affiliation. He didn't know this was anybody's bird and he shot it because he's a hunter and you're going to shoot him cold dead.
01:06:34
Speaker
He shot my he shot my friend's bird. Yeah, I mean, because we were discussing that she kind of has like her own life. Sometimes she'll just fly and leave for like a day and then come back. You know what they say. It's good shot around here. It's good. All right. Go ahead and roll a shoot. Roll, I guess. And I mean, OK. Yeah, I got a six. I feel like I'm shocked. Oh, all right. Roll your damage to see if you kill this fool or not. OK.
01:07:19
Speaker
Like yeah, I'm gonna catch that son of a bitch
01:07:26
Speaker
Yeah, Cutter gets covered in blood and you see Stan up there with a dead bird in his midst. He's like, what in the hell? And he just starts scrambling towards his tent. It's like, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Cutter, what do you do? I'm going to spring an action and chase that guy because I figure he's probably going for a gun and I got to at least try and get this guy to not get into a fight with us. Okay. Role athletics or no, agility to see if you can beat him.
01:07:51
Speaker
I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you. Eleven. That's an eleven. I'm gonna roll one for him too. I dropped my beans. I'm in such a hurry. He rolled a five. He did not beat you. So he's like scrambling. He kind of stumbles over his own feet. He's still wounded, so he can't quite see very well. So what do you do when you get up there to him? I'll probably just catch him by the shoulders and wrestle him to the ground and hold him. I don't know what hill's...
01:08:19
Speaker
Rinn's a bit impulsive. We don't need any more, any more bloodshed here today. I look back and I'm like, we don't need any more bloodshed here today, Rinn, right? Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Maverick, so while Cutter's running away, yelling that to this guy as he takes him to the ground, what do you do?
01:08:37
Speaker
I just look around to see where the fire's coming from. He just looks over his shoulder and he's like, what the fuck? What just happened? The fuck, and Rin's got a smoking gun in her hands. Rin, did you see who shot that guy? Yeah, she's got a gun in her hand, just got smoke coming out of it. He goes, Rin, did you see who shot that guy? Yep, sure did.
01:08:59
Speaker
Oh my God. So you look to see that Ren has a gun pointed exactly down the line where that folk was sitting. I mean, that's just like the guys you shot and then the one who ran into the tent, right? Correct. There were only two guys. OK, then I guess just keep sitting here. She's just like, well, I'm going to keep eating my beans and crackers. Maverick, aren't you going to like, you know, do anything? That was the guy that shot Ishii.
01:09:30
Speaker
Are you sure about that? I'm pretty sure that's what I've deduced through my detective skills that I have that I made up. I mean, I was like pretty feeling pretty getting a pretty good feeling from this guy and like with him like hunting birds and stuff was like, I didn't really know if he was the guy. So I was like, maybe just not do something right now and maybe like do something when it's leaping. But yeah.
01:10:00
Speaker
How many other Golden Eagles do you know in these parts? I mean, I haven't seen too many others in just Ishi. I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of them around here, but I haven't seen any others except for Ishi. So, like, I put two and two together and I figured out that this was the guy that shot Ishi. So, you know what? You're welcome. I murdered the person. Yeah. I don't really think he will be missed, so that's fine.
01:10:25
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think anybody will miss him either, so it's fine. Let's just see what we can take of his stuff. Hey, let's go see if we can help cut her with whoever started into that. I love that Renz, she goes, I use my detective skills that I have.
01:10:44
Speaker
It's just a funny way to start a sentence, or to end a sentence. You know, that's just a thing that I have.
Humor Amidst Chaos
01:10:52
Speaker
Let's briskly walk towards Qatar. I use my brain that I have. It's just a funny way. It's a funny series of words to put in a sentence. It's so funny.
01:11:03
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, how did you do that? Oh, you know, I just, you know, use the hands that I have. My favorite thing is I'm 39 in human years. I'm 89 in my inside years, but I'm 312 in vampire years. And then when people ask me how I figure out the vampire years, I said, Oh, it's based on a chart off of research I made up.
01:11:29
Speaker
Mm hmm. With research skills that I have used so cutter while they were having that little interaction, you're yelling at this guy and no more bloodshed. He's like, what the hell? Why would you just go ahead and gun down my friend like that? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm going to have to tell his mom.
01:11:47
Speaker
I'm starting to piece. I think you shot our older feller's bird. It was probably the other bird he's seen. I think maybe that's why Ren took it upon herself to blow the brains out of your friend's head over there, which I've watched. You know, our fed up brain.
01:12:07
Speaker
I'm not right now. No, no, no, no, no, no silly words and funny things right now. You and Ritter are still talking about the bird, the investigation skills that she has. I want to express my some serious apologies for the murder of your friend over there as I'm covering his brains in this lexical manner. Yeah, like you are a sight to behold right now.
01:12:32
Speaker
I really have no other words for you for I just didn't want you to be running for a gun or anything and I wanted You know, I'm sorry. It is all I had to check out this way that it did there just maybe I don't know We can help you to town get you some doctrine
01:12:49
Speaker
He seems visibly shaken. He's very pale. He's already wounded. His body is fucked up. You're covered in his friend's insides. His mouth is quivering. He's trying to talk to you. He just kind of passes out.
01:13:13
Speaker
Whoo. Uh, I stand up.
Aftermath and Camp Cleanup
01:13:16
Speaker
Uh, I can just see kind of standing there with like his arms up and he's like, ah,
01:13:31
Speaker
Do you want to sleep here with this brain matter everywhere? It's already a pre-built camp, so. Yeah, I want to see if they have any water around a little basin or anything. Throw some wood chips on the guts. They have like a little, like some canteens and stuff.
01:13:54
Speaker
You probably used it. I want to be a rat and taken out here. I'll just. Is there any is there any cloths around I can use to clean my face? Yeah, I mean, there's probably like miscellaneous like old shirts and stuff or like, you know, old raggedy towels and stuff you could probably use. Yeah. It is the usual stuff that a cowboy probably keep in his camp, in his tent. I got these ratty old rags here in case I ever need to clean any brain matter off myself. Oh, wait, turn the turn the rag over.
01:14:22
Speaker
Oh, what's on the other side? It says jizz rag, but you don't know that because you can't read. I think this just says Jesus. This is like a holy rag. Gee, I better not write my face on this one. I better not put my face on this here. That ain't right.
01:14:38
Speaker
I'll use this other one instead. You have little chunks all over the place. And so, yeah, you have a man currently passed out underneath you or at least at your feet. We're in Maverick. You guys catch up the cutter and the guy's unconscious and he's cleaned himself off. What do you do? Should we tie him up, guys?
01:15:04
Speaker
No, he's barely, he's infirm. Let's just put him in his little bed, in his little tent there. We'll see. I had a chat with him. He's not going to, he's not going to do anything rash, I don't think. Okay, good. All right. Well, let's just go put him in his bed, I guess. He'll wake up and we'll be gone. Oh my gosh.
01:15:24
Speaker
They don't leave him. They have to wake up. Yeah. No, they have just the one tent. All right. I'll sleep in there with him. I'll sleep in there with the feller, you guys. Casey wakes up at night for ill or for ill against himself or ill against us. Rin walks over and grabs the buddy's body and like picks it up and throws it over her shoulder and like kind of heads towards somewhere to like bury the body. She's disposed of it.
01:15:51
Speaker
Oh, my God. So, yeah, you just chuck them over like a little ravine, I suppose. Oh, my God. You're down below here. Thank you. You know what? It's happening. I'm just going to sleep in a wagon. It's going to go take a nap in a wagon. You know, it's funny, is the one that the one that shot Ishii is the one that's still alive. You kill this friend.
01:16:29
Speaker
So you guys are just gonna spend the rest of the evening here I suppose yeah, yeah sure So as you guys so you're gonna sleep in the tent with them cutter maverick you're gonna sleep in the wagon Rin, what are you doing?
01:16:43
Speaker
She's going to sleep on the, like the part where she drives on that bench. Uh, she's just going to like kind of sit half sleeping up and with like her hat over her eyes. You hear like, it was like, bitey's turning around, trying to nip at your knees. Like, I know that was a good shot, wasn't it? Yeah.
01:17:11
Speaker
Yeah, you don't don't put me in a box. I'm going to shatter all the horse barriers.
Possessed Man Struggle
01:17:17
Speaker
So as the night passes, Cutter, you
01:17:23
Speaker
It's probably, say, probably maybe a little after midnight or so. Well, Bethy, oh, yeah. You see Bethy, she's kind of sitting on top of you. She's in the mounted position. Say it slowly, Bethy. She's got her hands around your throat. She's giving you some gentle chokes. Oh, but I don't know if I... It's kind of erotic, but you said this is called strangulation, eh? S-T-O.
01:17:53
Speaker
And yeah, and then you hear Bathy and she says, yes, it's called strangulation, and I'm going to use it to send you to meet Abaddon. Just hold still for a little while longer. And then you feel like the pressure on your throat gets harder and more forceful as more waves being pressed upon your neck. Softer, mommy, softer! And then you say,
01:18:18
Speaker
Oh, no, this is this is the only way. And then you feel more pressure as you feel like you know, like your windpipe starts to kind of get crushed underneath the weight of her hands.
01:18:28
Speaker
What do you do? And you awaken to see that the man that was in the room with you in the tent with you is over top of you and his eyes are just like black voids. And he has like like black goop dripping from his mouth. It's like dripping all over your shirt and all over your face. And he's just like, I'm going to send you to meet Abaddon. Just hold still and let it happen. Never.
01:18:55
Speaker
That's where your punch at him. All right, he does have you in the mounted position, so I'm going to give you a minus two to a fighting role. Oh, shiznit. Let's put a minus two under, see if it tracks on the thing. Or just subtract it on your own. That's math I can do. Just two. I don't think it took it off. So seven minus two, I got a five. I'm going to show it on the little math list. Let me. So.
01:19:25
Speaker
You do hit him. You strike him with striking damage. Roll your striking damage. How do I do that? Is it just strength? I think it's strength on the D4 if you have like a certain weapon or it's just strength if you don't. It's only Mephisty Cuffs there, so roll. That's a bunch of guys.
01:19:47
Speaker
You punch him off of you and he kind of like rolls into the side of the tent and like kind of one of the stabilizers starts to kind of get bent a bit and the tent starts to kind of collapse a bit in on itself.
01:20:01
Speaker
From the outside, it looks very erotic. It's like the scenes in Austin Powers where you see their shadows on the side of the tip. That's probably what it looked like before. I was trying to get them off.
01:20:24
Speaker
And you knock him to the side of the tent and it starts to collapse a little bit. And he just looks at you and he just lets out this really loud shrill. And then he dives for you. What do you do?
01:20:35
Speaker
Um, uh, uh, what, what are we sleeping in? Or we some, well, we're, we're, well, I probably still kind of, if I was, are we sleeping in sleeping bags or just like blankets were wrapped up in? Uh, I don't know. What did you imagine when you slept in a tent? Uh, bags existed back then. So I'm going to say we're in blankies. I'm going to, I'm going to try and grab the blanket that was like on me and I'm going to try and wrap them up in it.
01:20:58
Speaker
Oh, that's a good idea. Try an agility roll to see if you can make that happen. Okay. Agility. I got a four. All right. I'm going to see how he does against it. I'm going to use his strength because he's just trying to barrel at you. Yeah. I still have a Benny, but I use my other one on a chicken. No, it's on the beans. Well, he rolled a two, so you wrap him up in the blankie. He's just trying to fight out, but the more he spins to get you, the more he wraps himself up like a little mummy inside the blanket.
01:21:26
Speaker
Time to go night night. And he's like thrashing about. What do you do? You got him in like a temporary cocoon. I'm going to try and put him in a choke hold and make him go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. All right. Roll. What should we call that? Why don't we call that just a straight fighting roll? Just make it a fight. Fighting. I'm going to also use a fight with him to fight back.
01:21:51
Speaker
uh you roll better than he does um so as he's wiggling around his arms for the moment you're like like you know you're just like as you choke him as he choked you uh rightfully enough uh and then eventually he just kind of stops moving and kind of passes out and just goes full
01:22:09
Speaker
full noodle for the ground. I imagine I was like giving a choke hold from behind, like wrestling style with my arm around his neck. So he's laying on top of that kind of, at least my arms and I'm like, guys, I need some help. Like she doesn't try to run in. She like tries to flip the tent off of him. You all right, dude?
01:22:40
Speaker
Um, yeah, you definitely would have heard this, the loud shrill at that point where he's like, so you've, you've ended up to look at cutter. Yeah. He's like laying next to an unconscious man wrapped up in blankies. Should we shoot him?
01:22:56
Speaker
No, it was some strange was happening there. We, I pointed Maverick, we ought to get this whole demon situation under control. This is, he was talking about that demon feller name and Bathie was in the dream of mine and it turned south real quick. She was talking about it too. I didn't like none of it. And I don't want to be getting nightmares or waking up to fellers trying to get me.
01:23:18
Speaker
I told you we should've tied him up. Well, I didn't expect some demon to come around and be like, I was spitting black. Look at my shirt. And he spit black stuff all over me. I'm covered. I just changed this into my new shirt too. Dang it. Now the last one's covered in brains. This one's got black goop on it.
01:23:36
Speaker
How many shirts did you bring with you? I got to wear one of the dead man shirts now. I don't like wearing dead man shirts. Like reach down and tie this guy up and like use the tent to like so like, you know, in Ace Ventura,
01:23:54
Speaker
the second one where that guy comes out in that fucking basically the leather pouch that's on that guy's back, the guy that he has to fight, the crazy guy. Yeah, like a Bjorn, like a Papoose. Yeah, like a big Papoose. She ties him up with the tent, kind of like that, and she's like, all right, now, let's start listening to Rin now.
01:24:21
Speaker
As you're doing that and you say, let's listen to Rin now, Maverick, what are you doing? I have an idea. When we get back to do that, and then once we like took care of Ishii, we were supposed to get like... Was it black powder or something we should go from Jensen? Yes. And we just used that to blow up the demon.
01:24:50
Speaker
I don't think that's gonna work, Maverick. Why not? A few things. Well, you're not gonna be able to blow up the demon. So not really sure. Because they're like spectral and it's not really a thing. But like, we can kind of figure that out. I know a friend in
01:25:19
Speaker
sore bellow that might have an idea. But if her idea is to blow up the demon, I will tell you I have told you. Her idea is my idea. I'm going to tell you that I told you. You're so my idea. I'm going to tell you I told you so.
01:25:48
Speaker
That's fucking hilarious. I don't think that that's gonna be the case, Maverick, but I guess we'll see, but I think we should get a second opinion first. Okay. Okay. That's one thing after another. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I promise we'll get this figured out. And don't worry, like any of you used to like be in danger just because like I am cursed and stuff. I'm not worried about it, bro. Like, did you just see me blow that guy's face off last night? Like,
01:26:18
Speaker
I'm fine. I mean, I kind of saw it, but it was all happening so fast. I mean, you were sitting right there. Yeah. I was paying attention to the fire. Oh, sure. OK. He still got blood all over his face.
Warnings and Red Moon Speculation
01:26:40
Speaker
You hear that. You hear the guy that you guys all tied up and wrapped up in the Bjorn and everything. He just lets out like another loud scream and he says,
01:26:48
Speaker
Oh, he's coming to take all of y'all every single one of you straight to fucking hell. You Maverick, you're going to get it the worst. And he's taking your little bird too. I want to grab something and stuff it in his face.
01:27:04
Speaker
What are you going to cram? I pick, here's a sock maverkin. You stick a sock in and he goes, don't you dare put a sock in my mouth. I got a lot more time. Time to go. She picks him up and tosses him over the same ravine. She tossed the dead body. You hear, thank you.
01:27:30
Speaker
Hold on, wait, wait, did she say you tossed the guy over the ravine now too? Yep, after the dead body. Oh my god! Oh my god, I gotta go down this dang ravine now, I gotta get my lantern. We'll get you a new one, clutter, well let's go. No, I don't, I got my lanterns on my dang horse, I'm gonna go save his poor man, he just threw down a cliff for him. No, he's fine, just let him die.
01:27:56
Speaker
I heard that wolf down there going, oh, thank you. He didn't deserve to die over in. Yes, he did. He is a bad man. Let's go back to Punky's. He was possessed. He ain't got no control over his faculties. No, I'm pretty sure he also had a hand in hurting Ishii, so it's fine. It's fine.
01:28:24
Speaker
You guys go I'm gonna go down to check on a dank fool. No, don't do that. Let's go. Let's go back. You guys say bring I'll meet you it. I'll meet you Scott. Where are you going after pumpkin signs? I don't know. Where did we see we're going?
01:28:42
Speaker
I'm going to go to that. Let's go back to do that. We've got to recuperate ourselves. I need to get some more supplies and shit if we're going to be traveling all around. I need to go to the church and get some holy water and dang shit. This is some... I shouldn't be swearing either. Sorry, God. I didn't mean to swear. I'll say Snuffin' Hail Mary's when I get back down.
01:29:04
Speaker
As you as you say, you're seven, you're talking about your seven Harold Marys. You see the moon above you has slowly transitioned from a bright white moonbeam to a darker red one as it casts a bunch of shadows and crimson across the land.
01:29:25
Speaker
You guys just don't think maybe that's just not related to anything going on, right? Maybe it's just nature making its course. I don't think it's like the best sign really. It's fine. We're fine. And then you guys hear echoing across the land in a voice very spoopy. And it says,
01:29:46
Speaker
a caca de de de de de de de de de de de de de de de.
01:29:56
Speaker
I was going back to sleep. I'm going back to sleep. The moon is red. There's chickens everywhere. And Ryn just murdered a guy. I'll go back to sleep. All right, guys, good job. That's the end of that episode. It's good to be back into it right and proper this time. So do you guys want to do a German word of the day when I'm done or do you want to do a question of the day when I'm done? What do you want to do? You ask me.
01:30:25
Speaker
Why not both? Give us a German question of the day. All right. So before we get to that, thanks, y'all, for listening. We're happy to be back proper in the Phoney Express. I think I could speak for everybody where I think we all kind of missed our Wild West characters a bit.
Series Return and Promotions
01:30:43
Speaker
Um, so, um, you know, it's nice to kind of get back into it. And again, I know this is the third episode, so it's weird to say this when you've already heard two episodes before this, but just to get to Mark, it's been nine months since we've actually gotten to play since episode two. Um, so it's been a hot minute. So this is our first.
01:31:02
Speaker
So anyway, please let us know if you're liking the episodes. Welcome back to Phoney Express. Leave us a review on all the places where you can do it. Even just pick one and do it. I mean a lot to us. Rate us if you hate us, like Justin likes to say. And scrub us if you love us, you know, whatever way you want to do it. And let's see what else, what else, what else, what else, what else? We still have our Ko-fi, funandsellersnetwork.com and funandsellers slash Ko-fi. That's pretty much it for all those things.
01:31:29
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Cass is running an Instagram account where you can follow the adventures of Little Adam and Marion and all their little friends.
01:31:37
Speaker
to check that out. It's a little player's podcast on Instagram. I know Marion's making all sorts of buddies and little Adam gets to go to work with Cass and he's got his arm stuck in a vending machine. So if you want to go see that podcast on Instagram. And yeah, I'm going to be releasing some new music in the next couple of weeks. Once the cover art is finished and then I got to put it in to be released.
01:32:01
Speaker
So keep an eye out for that. But if you want to get a preview of all the songs before they officially release on Spotify and iTunes, you can go to SoundCloud and then just search fun installers. That's me. You'll see my little image there. And then all the songs that are coming out there in the extended version of the album, you'll see them. Check them out. Let me know if you like them. And then when they officially release, you'll all fucking know about it because I'm working hard on it.
01:32:26
Speaker
Justin's got maps on DriveThru RPG. What are they under? Are they under Fund of Solar as role players?
01:32:33
Speaker
If you go to fun installers on drive-thru RPG, Justin has been making maps on there and he's really fucking good at it. So he's got different terrains that he's been working on and they're on there for a good deal to help support my pal. He's really good at what he does and that'd be nice for him to get some more support to get seen. And I'm learning Korean. And Adrian is learning Korean. Say something in Korean.
01:33:01
Speaker
Um, Korean. There you go. And it's not what you think it means. Look that up. And of course, Cass has three besties and a guesties with the other folks. So go check that out. They've got ass out there. I think they're about to release their finale for their Absurdia pretty soon. Yep. It'll be released tomorrow and then we're getting ready to record for Operation Starship Infinity very soon.
01:33:25
Speaker
There you go. So keep an eye out for all that good fun stuff. And, you know, just keep it real. Adrian, what's our German word for the day? That doesn't sound Korean. That doesn't sound German. No, it's Korean. I was going to say, that doesn't sound like a German word at all. Did you say...
01:33:50
Speaker
Moriyapayo means like a headache. Moriyu's head and apayo means that something hurts. Moriyapayo. And the term of today is Adla.
Closing Thoughts and Humor
01:34:03
Speaker
Adla? Yes. It means eagle. Eagle. Adla for Ishii. Ishii the Adla, the golden Adla. I know owl is Uile. I know that one.
01:34:19
Speaker
All right, Cass, hit us with a question of the day. Do you think NASA invented thunderstorms to cover up the sound of space battles?
01:34:30
Speaker
Yes. Yes. NASA invented. Thank you. Hey, hey, hey, I got a question today. Did Cass or one of us ask this question already? Yes, we've definitely talked about this. Did I already ask this question already? Oh, okay. Here's the question of the day. How many pots is Cass smoking today? Yeah, I've been up since like 6 a.m. All right. You know what? If you ask a question that I was already asking, I'm going to tell you that I told you so.
01:34:56
Speaker
All right, here's this one. Is it possible for tattoos to get genetically passed from parent to child? Yeah, accounts? If they're on the balls, yes.
01:36:16
Speaker
Does it look good already?