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The Die Seas Ep 2: 6,000 Microknots?!
38 Plays20 days ago
Our heroes have relinquished themselves from oppressive bonds and commandeered the very ship that would have been their prison. With the help of one of their fellow captives they make swift progress across the seas but Twyla's attempt to help draws unwanted attention from the briney depths!
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Transcript
Introduction and Recap
00:00:00
Speaker
All right. I guess we'll start a show now hey Hey. Welcome. Thanks for listening to us today at the podcast thing with dungeons and worlds and ships on the ocean.
00:00:17
Speaker
um Last time, the gang got captured and onto a ship.
Mutiny on the Ship
00:00:25
Speaker
And they had a captain named Dim.
00:00:28
Speaker
And he said, you're now going to have to work for me without any choice. And they said, nuh-uh. And they killed a bunch of people that were running the ship. And they met a lot of old, familiar faces from various things that we did before.
00:00:44
Speaker
um Mostly my own characters because I can do my own voices. um
Meet the Crew: Twyla, Thip, and John Pigeon
00:00:49
Speaker
And they took over the ship. Twyla single-handedly took over the ship. That's Cass' character.
00:00:55
Speaker
Um, and, that's where they left off. Dem was almost dead. They choked him out, but they didn't kill him. Uh, the captain of the ship. And there's Adam as Thwip, Thip, I'm sorry, Thip, Thew, the goblin archer extraordinaire who has an owl for a best friend.
00:01:14
Speaker
Um, there's Twyla, the pirate, potentially captain extraordinaire. Um, Twyla the terrible, she goes by, um who has a monkey for a friend.
00:01:26
Speaker
And then there's John pigeon played by none other than David, the ah the greatest of all time, the goat. And he's, he's a team who Jack Sparrow. or And his best friend is a bottle of drink.
00:01:40
Speaker
His, his, his best friend is Dr. Inc. and yes Me poor liver. Yeah.
00:02:21
Speaker
So
Ship's Condition and Crew's Confusion
00:02:22
Speaker
yeah, you guys are on a ship adrift in the ocean. as much Also, the reason why they were put on the ship is because it's an old-fashioned medieval ship that's got ah just a shitty sail and some rowing people that row it.
00:02:34
Speaker
And that's what the The people who captured them wanted them to do. There's bunch of other people there have captured before who are rowing. And now they're all looking at you guys. And they're confused.
00:02:47
Speaker
Oi, stop looking at me, all right? Did I have a British accent last time? I don't think so. don't think you had an accent. Well, now I do. got You just kind of drunk the whole time.
00:03:03
Speaker
You did a lot of facial expressions, mostly. Yeah. He was, he was the, he was a monster hunter TM essentially. no, no, no, no. Um, but everybody sort of talks now.
00:03:15
Speaker
Oh, really? Yes. What? Yeah. That's heard here first folks. Um, Anyway, maybe not and so some of the people still look at you because they're like wondering what's going to happen.
00:03:26
Speaker
And some of them are like so indoctrinated or so institutionalized by the ah whether but and they're in their servitude here that they're like, oh, sorry, sir. And they look away. I turn around and I say, now, now, everyone. i can't
Ocean Bar Quest
00:03:39
Speaker
remember if that's how i talked. It was something like that. You're someone sophisticated.
00:03:42
Speaker
Now, everyone, listen, listen. we The captain and we have agreed that we are going to all go to the bar. Does anybody know where to find one on the ocean?
00:03:55
Speaker
Cricket, cricket, cricket. Someone bring bring forward Mr. Cricket. He knows. so Okay. ah You know what, Mr. John, was it? You seem like you know your way around the bar. Where's the nearest bar around here?
00:04:11
Speaker
yeah let's just wait for this cricket fella.
00:04:18
Speaker
Thip just sits down and like crisscross applesauce and presses hands on his lap goes, well, all right, let's wait for the cricket. And then he puts his arm up. He puts his arm up to wait for Al Bundy to land on him. He's like, all right, but don't eat the cricket, okay?
00:04:31
Speaker
Oh, also, yeah, I picked a skill where i can understand Al Bundy now and all other animals that talk to me. yeah yeah Oh, so Mr. Cricket can talk to you. That's great. um So this really big, like I'm thinking it's sort of like a ah like a classic movie situation where there's a big ah bulky, like simpleton kind of guy who has a little animal for a friend.
00:04:49
Speaker
So he reaches under his little bench and he pulls out ah little a little cricket on his hand and he comes over and he says, this is Mr. Cricket, sir. Hello, Mr. Cricket.
00:05:00
Speaker
Hi, what's up? Um, where's the bar? What the are talking about, man? Is there a bar on this ocean that we can go to to kind of you know, smooth everything over after the vicious battle we've all engaged in?
00:05:16
Speaker
What you think? it
Searching for Navigation Maps
00:05:17
Speaker
Is some sort of mystical, magical ocean theme park ride where there's bars and shit in the middle the ocean? There's bars on islands. You want to go somewhere? like and in the country? You want to go to those? Yes, obviously. mean, do you know of like an island or perhaps ah a swath of land that has a bar on it? Ah, you know. Yeah, I do know of many, but unfortunately, I've been up underneath the bench the whole time, so I don't know where we are.
00:05:38
Speaker
Um, but yeah, there's a bunch of cool bars. Uh, I bet if we went in a direction, we'd find land eventually. Fair. All right. Well, your counsel has been invaluable, Mr. Cricket. Thank you so much for talking to me. I've never talked to anybody before my life. This pretty, I imagine like while I'm having this conversation, everybody everybody else here is like, weep, weep, weep, weep.
00:05:57
Speaker
Or like, what a fuck crickets sound like? Yeah. like We've never heard a cricket talk. We've only ever heard them rub their legs together. What everyone else hears is... yeah yes sir Twyla, do you happen to know where we are on the ocean? know how to read like oceanic maps? I'm not really a seafaring type.
00:06:20
Speaker
Do we have a map anywhere here? Where's the captain's ah quarters? What are you guys going to do with Dim? Are you still choking Dim? What are you guys doing with me? yeah and I thought he was passed out.
00:06:35
Speaker
No, you just choked. I guess i guess yeah you did choke me and and you cut my finger off. So yeah, all right, I'm going to pass out. But the ah the big buff chick that didn't fight you guys is like, it's right over here.
00:06:47
Speaker
remember how she talked, but that's how she talks now. Oh, thank you, my lady. And she gives her a wink. Meet me in my quarters later. Why?
00:06:59
Speaker
You'll see. She goes into the quarters to see if she can find the any sort of map or anything to find out where they're at. There's definitely sorts of maps in there. Why don't you, I guess, discern realities. Okay.
00:07:16
Speaker
With your brain. Wow. I got four. she pulls out her compass. She's like, hmm. It's just spinning in circles. I don't know where we are.
00:07:29
Speaker
Usually you have somebody else do that for you, huh? On your ship. Yeah. ah What was she trying to find? um Just make heterosexual. Where they're at. You found a map, but it's um it's I was seeing if you could figure out a sea chart.
00:07:42
Speaker
I see. Make it out. But you apparently you're not too too good at that. oh I can't read, darling. I'm so sorry. You have it. That's good. Does anyone out here know how to read?
00:07:56
Speaker
Well, I was going to say, I'm sure you were having a good time and that you were making progress, but it would seem I would be lying. yeah mr Mr. Pigeon, was it? can you Perhaps can you read a map?
00:08:09
Speaker
A safe-faring map? No, I can't. Me and maps? No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Or no. can.
00:08:21
Speaker
yeah Are you like afraid is you afraid of maps? This GPS here that I have in my hand. Whoa, what?
00:08:30
Speaker
What is that? You're holding in your head? um This is me just pushing Justin to see how far the bullshit I can get away i was trying to think of ah an old-timey fantastical thing that GPS could stand for, but all I think of was Goblin Positioning System.
00:08:45
Speaker
so Yeah, and points it points at me. it points at me. there There's your land right there.
00:08:56
Speaker
oh Oh, is that what that is? Is that how they found me in the forest to begin with, was with this locating device? ah No, this is, ah he just has a cell phone. How about that? No. It's a shell phone. it it what It's actually the year of our Lord 2025. You're just on a cosplayership. That big butch chick, she's like,
00:09:20
Speaker
All right, you idiots. je we Jeez Louise. That's my mom. I hate her. was going to say, do you want to tell us your name so that GM doesn't keep calling you a Butch chick? My name is
Navigating the Seas with Magic
00:09:31
Speaker
Butch.
00:09:32
Speaker
My first name is Butch. My last name is A. Chick with a Q. My name is Al. I was going to try to Twyla backwards. My name is...
00:09:49
Speaker
Madeline Madeline? Anyway, let me read that It took you a second to come with that I guess because this is the ocean, you can make whatever you want and I want to be called Madeline Alright, me look at this map Where you guys want to go?
00:10:05
Speaker
To the bar, the closest place that has a bar I want to get a drink Well, let me think let me look let me think here I'm pretty sure we're kind of out in the in the kind of um the middle of the of nowhere on the seas right now We're always in the middle of nowhere, never on the edge of nowhere or partway through nowhere. Yeah, not like right. now So we could go, if you guys, I mean, if you guys want, we we'll getnna we'll get a real kick out of going to Pirate Cove. and they'll They'll be really jazzed to see that you guys fucked up, damn, that'd be pretty funny.
00:10:34
Speaker
um We go up to Heglund, get some Heggish beer, mead, whatever you want. Now we go, oh, I really would like Um, it was, they would also get a good laugh of what you did to dim over in, um, Verdgar, uh, get some, get some Dwarven mead. That'd be great.
00:10:48
Speaker
Can we all see the map now? Well, yeah, she has in her hands. Yeah. I mean, can we see it on roll 20? so No, no, no. That'd be cool. It's just for character sheets.
00:11:00
Speaker
Yeah. I thought maybe, I thought maybe you, maybe you had made one. I didn't just just move. So you did make a map, right? North or something. Okay. um ah yeah Yeah, just whatever the closest massive land is, take us there.
00:11:14
Speaker
Okay, alright. um You want me to drive?
00:11:21
Speaker
No, I'm the captain of the ship. You can stand next to me and direct me where I need to go Just like with Dim. Alright, get up there. You still going have the slaves row? Because we need to Yeah, of course. All right, cool.
00:11:41
Speaker
I would say the slaves are free to go. You want to let the slaves go? the people go. It's going be pretty slow going if we don't have them take us there, at least. We're going to throw them off the ship's side. What are the sails for?
00:11:57
Speaker
I'm joking. yeah most we have sales We do, yeah, but I mean, there's not really any wind right now, you guys.
00:12:06
Speaker
I guess we gotta use the slaves. This is a long shot, but is anybody here a wizard that can make wind? Anybody? An old guy up front, and he's like, and he raises his hand.
00:12:17
Speaker
Oh, for real? Wow. o Okay, hang on. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:12:23
Speaker
And her so, Wizard, ah how many spell slots would you say you have left today? Those don't exist in Dungeon World. All right, he's a real one. on dungon we We live on Dungeon World. On Dungeon World.
00:12:38
Speaker
Planet's dungeon. Yes. The world of dungeon. Dim is very stupid. He forgot to mention to you that... He had a few magical colors, magic suppression colors he put on people who have magical powers, and he put it on me.
00:12:53
Speaker
i need it taken off post-hastedly. I'm going to go rip it off. Take it off? Yeah, I'm just going to rip it in half and throw it overboard. shit. Do a strength. Wow.
00:13:05
Speaker
wow just kind of Holy shit! 14, Jesus. Careful of my frail neck. going rip it off mid-sentence and just be like, alright. My power and wizardry to ah propel us.
00:13:20
Speaker
Sorry? Can you help us out? Oh, well, yes. um Shall I teleport us all somewhere safe? Teleport? no we want to sail. What's the point of this if we can teleport?
00:13:30
Speaker
so All right, well, all you need to do is sail. Teleport the whole ship? I could certainly try. and be quite fun. Some people might get fused inside of it. That would be a bit of an interesting thing.
00:13:42
Speaker
Hey, ah I'm presuming, I'm presuming you want me to put wind to the sail. Yeah, or maybe, you know, some sort of... ah Yes, just whatever way that would give us, like, some... speak Turn it into a sort of... Like, it a speedy boat. A speed boat, if if you will.
00:14:00
Speaker
Cast the Wind Waker spell. You know, the one that lets you control the direction of the wind. Yes, the Wind Waker spell. That's what we need. All right, I'm going to go stand up behind this marvelous new Captain of Oz. Okay.
00:14:17
Speaker
And I'm going to and let my powers rage within me. And he's still, he's talking you guys like, yes, my powers will rage within me. And I will get the sailors full below.
00:14:27
Speaker
Yes, indeed. Yes. Sure. Just don't do anything. You know, I just don't want to have another villain that we've created, you know, just, I just, I just, i you know, don't worry. I'm not a villain. I'm just a ledger.
00:14:39
Speaker
Hey, that's fine. The cat, the new quote unquote captain loves that sort of thing. Go, go nuts. All right. Um, But i i do I do realize earlier i've I laughed quite maniacally whenever I felt my power again is after you took the collar off.
00:14:53
Speaker
It's been 10 years, you see. i've not felt I've been trying to get it to come up so I could burst the thing off, but ugh. um I was a younger man when I started this place of 30. Now I'm 40. Look at me. Get up there and show us what you can do, eh, lad? Smack him in the back of the head.
00:15:07
Speaker
yeah Get like a gib slap. Yeah, softly. Saucy little fella, aren't you? All right. I'm a fan of the gib slap. Aye. ah yeah He goes up behind Twyla, at the thing and he he starts, ah he says, Blow a kiss, wind a kiss.
00:15:25
Speaker
and he wind I blow him a kiss. ah Oh my is that how the Is that how the spell works? I guess I'll do it too. Stop. Too much love, Benergy. No. Everybody on the ship, blow a kiss a kiss to him so he can generate the breeze. The wind will blow too soon. The wind will blow too soon.
00:15:44
Speaker
the wind will blow to so Anyways, I'm going to pull the sails down and change their direction to go like with the wind or whatever, like see at the east, and I'm going to get upset that no one else is helping me.
00:15:57
Speaker
love it Yeah, but I was like, okay, Twyla, the lady kind of tells you, she's like, oh go sailing terms that way. And you do it. West or like a direction? Yeah, but you got to go north by northwest. I mean, north by northwest.
00:16:14
Speaker
Yeah. 100 nods. That's lot of nods. are you tie them so fast? I'm wondering, would I be able to use arcane art what to help aid the wind by chance?
00:16:32
Speaker
I guess you could sure try it I mean, we have a wizard that's kind of doing that.
00:16:40
Speaker
but she want to sell a wizard Unless you want to sing to him and help the wizard, I suppose. there's a wizard That's basically what it was because I can weave a performance into a basic spell and choose an ally and an effect below. Okay, yeah, go for it. Do it.
00:16:56
Speaker
Okay. Excellent. I got an eight. Eight. Nice. ah so you're What does that mean? Your thing works, but guess what? He choose an ally and it doesn't affect him. oh Dun, dun, dun! I'm just kidding. did a bit fit He's like, oh no, secret exposed.
00:17:15
Speaker
Diamond, drought! You draw an unwanted attention. Yeah. ah yeah Okay. so she she honks her little horn. She does like a little toot.
00:17:28
Speaker
And she's like, come on and blow with me. Blow the kiss with me. and then this thing, you know... He's like, stop, I can only get still erect.
00:17:40
Speaker
Blow with me. Blow a kiss with me. Blow me, Wim. Blow Blow me. Blow me. Blow me a kiss. That happens, and there's two options that doesn't say you can pick, so I'm going to them.
00:17:58
Speaker
Your spell works, but you draw on one attention, or your magic reverberates to other targets, affecting them as well. choice. That's me. I'm a Oh! that's me i'm a gm no Yeah, you guys are you guys are cruising along now. He's like, whoa, my goodness, milady, made me blow so hard. Oh, no. ah My word.
00:18:17
Speaker
but She just gives her us gives him a smirk. Yes. All right. Yeah, you guys are cruising along north by northwest at 6,000 knots per second across the ocean surface. Holy shit. It's really ripping across. Oh, did I say no? I meant micro knots, 6,000 micro knots. Oh, someone has been shitting my loincloth this whole time.
00:18:38
Speaker
whoo I suppose I'll crawl up in that ah that there crow's nest. See if I can't spot anything. Spot anything. And I grab a fucking bottle of liquor and I just go up top in the crow's nest. I was going to say, defy danger as you climb up there using dexterity or whatever you want to use.
00:19:00
Speaker
He's a lot like Dim, where i think he has beer muscles. like I'll use dexterity. should I use charisma? Charisma. You're to your way up the thing. Tug yourself up as you go up there. Oh, this bad. roll little level with the cigarette.
00:19:14
Speaker
Johnny Pigeon is all right. Incredible. He's a functioning alcoholic. Yeah. bill died there We got to make some homebrew abilities for Johnny Pigeon.
00:19:26
Speaker
I love the idea that maybe he climbed up like three rungs and goes, whoa, almost died there, and then keeps going all the way up. Whoa. We are moving at 6,000 micronauts. This ship's spinning. Oh, fuck.
00:19:38
Speaker
It's literally spinning. Fuck. That's got to be the name of this episode, is 6,000 micronauts. 1.21 micronauts. Yeah, exactly, yeah.
00:19:50
Speaker
and And the wizard says, my calculations are correct. Yeah. um yeah You guys are cruising along. you got a great wind behind you. this All the people who have been made to row their whole time they've been on the ship are like, well, this great. They're laying back.
00:20:05
Speaker
um Somebody went down below and got in some water. They're all drinking some water. ah It's great. They're really loving it. They're kicking them in a sleep. So you're going to check on Crevel?
00:20:15
Speaker
Yeah, wonder if that guy's okay. Crevel's dead. don't Did you kill Crevel? Even if you killed Crevel, I wouldn't let Crevel die. No, no, no. I killed him in all games and all everything outside of the All realities. All realities. He's dead.
00:20:30
Speaker
It's like that movie The One with Jet Li. All right, podcast over then. Beep. Short one. Yeah, so we – yeah, going to – I'm going to check on Dim.
00:20:41
Speaker
maybe Maybe bandage up to his finger. Okay. That's mighty nice of you. I'm to feed the actual finger to Owl. It's not your turn, David. Jesus Christ. Alright, fine. johnny pigeon You already climbed the thing.
00:20:55
Speaker
I'm going to feed a finger to Owl Bundy while you guys do what you're doing. I'm just going to give a little treat.
00:21:02
Speaker
A finger? but He like he like chokes it down like bird's finger. that i That one of us cut off in the last episode. but can't remember who did it. think it was me. And you only have a bow. He's like... Well, no, I have a short sword, too. Okay, okay.
00:21:16
Speaker
Yeah. That'd be funny if you swiped it with a bow sword. Anyway, okay, yeah, so okay. um Pyle is driving. She's been driving. That's cool. Johnny Pigeon, you went up the crow's nest. what do you want to do up there? They want to discern some fucking realities. Okay, discern some shit, brother.
00:21:28
Speaker
What are you trying to discern? What do you think going to discern? Jack, shit with that seven.
00:21:37
Speaker
These are great. All right. So I'm up at the top and I'm i'm taking out my yield spyglass or binoculars. I don't know. Whatever. I have binoculars. about that? monocular.
00:21:49
Speaker
Okay. I love it. I want binoculars. Thank you, Adam. ah because they weren Those weren't invented yet. Guess they were. they like male and They like male and female noculars. They can be binoculars.
00:22:02
Speaker
yeah um So, alright. I'm going to ask, ah what is about to happen? ah you're looking you're You're looking around. You're looking all over the place.
00:22:14
Speaker
And you see behind you guys a bit, there's like a little there's like ah something something just under the water kind of following you guys. yeah under the
Mysterious Periscope and Whirlpool
00:22:25
Speaker
water how big is it um it looks like um just ah like uh like a small size sort of old-timey carriage you might find around um the the populated so sections of the world it's about carriage size but underwater it's a sort of a a blur because it's underwater but you can see a shape there okay and as you're watching a little
00:22:48
Speaker
a little periscope comes up and like looks around and looks at you. was going say, is a ye old submarine? And then, and then it, it's a little periscope. Like it looks at you and then like a piece comes out and it extends. It gets bigger and bigger. It's like a big lens looks at you and it goes, then it sees you looking at it and it moves back in and pulls back down into the water again.
00:23:07
Speaker
Alright, well that's fucking weird. just gonna try to go down the ladder and go just tell everybody what's going on. Do a flip! easy He is a flip. Land, landing style.
00:23:23
Speaker
So yeah, tell her, discern your speech to them. hmm. Cap, Cap'n. Cap'n. Yeah! Yeah.
00:23:34
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Um. You okay? Well, I... I'm not sure. guy over here just keeps looking at my rack and I'm starting to get a little perturbed.
00:23:52
Speaker
Wait, what do you mean? This rack over here? Any... John points out like a shelf. on the end Yep. in the captain square I've got my valuables on there and I don't wish you had took them. I've got all my swords on there and I just don't want it to get taken.
00:24:07
Speaker
I think, oh, well, I'm sorry. I just was thinking i have not been at my wizard's tower in much time and I just remember all my shelves had cool things like candles and skulls and little books on them and I miss it.
00:24:19
Speaker
That sounds boring. Yes, what can I help you with, John? Well... First off, that was, uh... Alright, well. Excuse our rude little captain's room this year. was just plainly rude. Anyways, I came to Red Port, uh... She starts snapping her fingers. Yes, yes, go on, go on. What do you need?
00:24:41
Speaker
Well, if you're gonna be impatient, I'll just let us all die then. He just crosses his arms. Off the stern of the ship. You know at the stern is, I hope. There is, uh... Some kind of, uh...
00:24:56
Speaker
wacky little underwater device following us. Then made eye contact.
00:25:04
Speaker
But yeah, we're being followed, so... You made eye contact with a device? What are you talking about? Yes, he had a fucking periscope that he put out of the water.
00:25:17
Speaker
Then I saw their beautiful blue eyes.
00:25:21
Speaker
There's some, that is not possible. There's only like fishing and whales and such things under the water. There's such thing as. I'm going to the curtains back on their window that, because I'm assuming the captain's quarter is the same location as the sea of thieves, captain quarters. Yeah, but they're on the back of the ship. They're on the, David, it was weeks ago. They were captain's quarter. top now on the, where the steering wheel is brother.
00:25:44
Speaker
Okay, well, I'm going to fucking go over. I thought she was in the captain's quarters. Sorry. Have you ever that's why have you literally ever played Sea of Thieves, David? You keep talking about it like you do think you're posing. Are we talking about the the galleon? There's a captain's quarters that is indoors. Yeah, but I told you she's steering the ship and you think she's in the captain's quarters. What is wrong with you?
00:26:02
Speaker
I'm going to drag Twilight. only invited the beefy chick to my quarters Later. later Well, okay, whatever. Come and look at this then. Do have a better... Her name is Madeline.
00:26:14
Speaker
Look, see that? Oh my. Oh. Oh. like see that oh my so hey What do you want to about that, Captain? Um... Captain? Thip, Thip, come over here You've got to see this. What are we going to do about this?
00:26:32
Speaker
I'm already here. You just can't see me because I'm so short. yeah yeah Oh, goodness. Where did you come from? Fucking weird. Blame my parents. I'm going to put a bit of bell on your neck.
00:26:45
Speaker
Uh, that'd be... You know, I've never had jewelry before. That sounds lovely. What are we going to do about this, you guys? Can we still see it? um No, Nayeth.
00:26:58
Speaker
so We just see empty water and she's reacting to it. so Yeah. What? Yeah. Maybe it sarcasm. Sarcasm. Thank you. No, what? It was this end, this end.
00:27:12
Speaker
There's nothing here, John Pigeon. I don't know what you're so freaking out about. Let's get back up to the wheel because we've got to steer this ship.
00:27:23
Speaker
John, let's just go kick some of the dead bodies downstairs. Remember when we did that? That was fun. We'll get an experience point if we do it because of our bond. You fucking followed, all right? You guys don't believe me, and it hurts my feelings. so Well, I believe... You know what? I'm going to send Mr. Bundy here out over the oceans to do a quick looky-loo. How about that?
00:27:44
Speaker
Go ahead. have Feelings off of babies.
00:27:48
Speaker
I'm ah just going to talk to Owl and just ask him, ah yeah Mr. Bundy, when you have a moment, could you please just go out and do a quick looky-loo for some sort of giant carriage thing with an eyeball?
00:27:59
Speaker
um shit what about Who said anything about a carriage? All right, a thing with an eyeball. Sorry, I was remembering what the BM said. ah There's a boat underwater. That's what i'm saying. he ah He's just an uncultured, he's just an uncultured, like, kind of Brooklyn-y stupid, whatever you want to make him. He's just not nearly as as sophisticated as I am. Everyone everyone else hears, ah woo and he's like, all right, you son of a bitch, I'll go out there and do it, but don't be, you better be feeding me more fingers or something. You better chop that guy's dick off and feed of me or something, all right?
00:28:30
Speaker
like yeah I could get you some peckers, sure. Just go out there and You know, go take a quick look around, and while you're doing that, i'll go I'll collect some digits for you. Sure, that's a good compromise. Give me something good. You know, I love what i'm fucking i i want to get real weird with it, all right?
00:28:43
Speaker
You know, I could go see if that rat fellow's dead. I could remove something from him. ah I get rat all the time. I can get rat whenever I want it. i want I want some dwarf dick or something, man Come on. All right. I'll ask the fellow here, the former captain, if you wouldn't mind donating a little bit.
00:28:57
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, make it. Yeah. Yeah. If it comes, if it comes willingly, that'd be even weird. All right. Yeah, i'll go for that. I'm sure he'll come willingly. I'm going to look around on the ocean. All right. Yeah. Just get back to me. Let me know what you find there, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:12
Speaker
I see you, Mr. Bundy. I'll talk to you later. ah All right, Twyla's going to go take a look and he'll let us know when he gets back. That's great. Oh, and Twyla, if you're still not at at the at the at the sticks yet, the helm, um because we keep forgetting you have a monkey, your monkey's like, steal at you and he jumps on your and he starts pulling your hair towards the wheel again.
00:29:37
Speaker
the wheel again Oh, okay. Oh, I'm sorry, banana. I'm coming. I'm coming. Had to look at nothing, apparently. And you see that the beefy chick's like holding onto the steering wheel. She's like, um boss, the... Why did call you boss? I barely even work for you.
00:29:56
Speaker
um The wheel's been going pretty wacky for a second here. but Is there something trying to keep hold of it? Me? Yeah, I'm holding right now it's going wacky. again I'm really struggling over here.
00:30:09
Speaker
Does it feel like something is trying to grab a hold of it? The one guy in there said that there was a weird device underneath the water. And if there's some weird device underneath the water trying to catch our ship, then it might be trying to to change our steering somewhere. well you think there's a weird device under the ship? Let's talk about this some more is it in a calm fashion until we figure it out. and I don't know. That's just what I'm saying is what I was told. But I did not see anything, so I'm not sure.
00:30:38
Speaker
Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, it's kind of, I mean, I'm, I don't know. You were just not manning the helm for a minute. so i don't know, maybe just the water. I don't, I'm not i'm not like, i'm not, that I don't steer. I just like sit down there and look tough. I grab people. Okay. Okay. I've got it. I bought it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you. I went over there for something.
00:30:54
Speaker
right. Good. I don't like getting calluses from handling wood.
00:31:00
Speaker
it is It is an unfortunate um side effect from this job. But you know what? It's all in good fun, I tell you what. to Playing with the wood on the helm is one of the best things. It's the feeling in your hand, just the grasp of it. There's nothing better.
00:31:20
Speaker
you say so, I prefer clams.
00:31:24
Speaker
Good. I like them both. ah Gross. Anyway, she lets go and then as then then then the wheel like starts spinning really fast.
00:31:33
Speaker
I grab a hold of it really fast. Oh, shit. Grab hold of it really fast. Do a strength. Strength, strength, strength. but Actually, defy danger with divide nature with strength. Oh, it's danger.
00:31:44
Speaker
Defy danger. i think I... Hold Oh. because ah hold done be There we go. Hold on. Well, no, you did it with... she I still got four. You did worse. You did with way. Yeah, you grab a hold of the thing and you start spinning around like it's... head her feet okay it's it's really It's really going and you're really trying to fight back on that sucker. I'm also sorry. for now umm using i'm using your I'm using your character sheet to look at what the things do. Sorry if you're seeing me open shit.
00:32:13
Speaker
yeah and I think I made a... set and i can use I can use Gary Gargles. No one's using Gary Gargle. um There we go. Gary. Gary. He doesn't have any shit because he's not he's a baby. He doesn't make anything. I'm going to use... Gary.
00:32:24
Speaker
What are you trying to learn in here? Nothing. was just looking at Defy Danger to see what the outcomes were. um Oh. does a shit Does it say what the outcomes are? I don't remember. Yeah, it says if you fail.
00:32:36
Speaker
Anyway. So yeah, it's really tough. it's really strong It's really troubling you there. And then somebody um on the deck goes, Oi, the wall is getting really chompy down here.
00:32:49
Speaker
And then people with some guy's like, I'm throwing up! And the ship starts like turning sideways and shit. Wizard, stop blowing! yeah Commencing! Ending of blowing! stopp The wind stops and the sail goes back into soft mode.
00:33:07
Speaker
um She's going to go to the edge of the ship to see if she can see anything that is causing her ship to act this way. Oh, man. it looks like there's a whirlpool underneath the ship and you're spinning now that you're not at the helm and holding it a little bit.
00:33:24
Speaker
You're spinning around in circles. John is stronger than I am. Please go grab the wheel. The captain's mad. No, no, no. I'm i'm dropping anchor. Oh, God.
00:33:37
Speaker
nice I hope it goes deep enough.
00:33:41
Speaker
It always hits the bottom. It always hits bottom. um So you do that and and what would happen if your if your ship is still and you have drop a chain anchor and you're just spinning and spinning and spinning? and Well, it pulls the thing into it we'll find to some degree. the mechanism Unless the anchor goes into the whirlpool as well.
00:34:03
Speaker
Well, I mean, the anchor's down, so the chain's go be going to be tightening. As you spinning, it's going to keep tightening around stuff. So eventually, you guys start to... Well, not eventually. ah Gradually, you hear... ah And like the ship starts leaning sideways now and shit as it's spinning around in circles.
00:34:19
Speaker
Oh, excellent. We're about to capsize. Everyone's going to die. i We'll be fine. I've got my Dr. Ink with me. It's okay. Just here. i take I take a rope and I just tie the whip down to like the fucking mast.
00:34:33
Speaker
Oh, excellent. This will be perfect. Yeah. Now you'll just drown. this
00:34:40
Speaker
has ah Has Mr. Bundy found anything out there tell us what's going on? Why don't you do like ah some sort of thing for him? ah Certain realities probably with all your bonus and his bonus. All everybody's bonus. That's a 16 total because I rolled a 14 plus his two. That's 16. Back. You get three questions.
00:34:56
Speaker
Yeah. um What should Owl Bundy be on the lookout for? um Anything in the water And he sees some stuff That he can tell you back that he what he's What he's looking out for Yeah we already know about the whirlpool I'm hoping he'll tell me something us Yeah he's seen some shit brother Okay well I'm gonna ask all these questions at once That way he can come back and tell me everything he knows Okay um one one What is about to happen Okay
00:35:29
Speaker
And what really could know what here is useful or valuable to me. Okay. Okay. Um, he said, he comes over, comes back. He's like, Oh, and he said, Hey boss.
00:35:44
Speaker
Yes, Mr. Bundy. that What did you find? ah Yeah, i see I seen some shit, dude. ah First of all, under the ship. You seem frazzled. ah Yeah, man. this wo wolf I'm glad I can fly because I'm getting the fuck out here once this shit. is these These guys are going to kill us.
00:35:56
Speaker
um So yeah, you know that world porn of the ship? I think you've seen that, right? ah Yes, I'm quite aware of it. We're sideways at the moment. i so i so Using my great owl eyes, I can see pretty well under the water without being down there.
00:36:08
Speaker
And I've seen a guy down there. He's just spinning his hands around in circles. I'm pretty sure there's a dude down there making that shit happen. And so that's um something I was on the lookout for, you know? And I also saw like, there's like five or so other dudes like just swimming around watching the half and they're like like they're waiting. they got those They got pointed sticks down there with three little prongs on each end of them. Oh my God, can you believe it?
00:36:30
Speaker
and Are they fish-like people? i do get i can't see that good. I just see figures down there. Probably, since they're down there, I would imagine. I want to eat them. If you if you could get me some of them, going to be eating good.
00:36:41
Speaker
But anyway, ah what else did they you ask me? What I should be looking for? what's what's What's your use for a value to be? You had three, don't and you? What and what else did you ask? I asked, what happened here recently? What's about to happen? No, what should I be on the lookout for? What's about to happen? And what's useful or valuable? no Okay, so yeah, there's five guys that are ready to strike.
00:36:59
Speaker
That's what's about to happen, I think. Oh, no, not five guys. The villains from the last show. They got a bomb down there with a burger in it or something. Oh, no. Instead of a burger with a bomb, it's a bomb with a burger in it. Look out. Oh, shit. um And next next thing is but something that's useful and valuable, I think, might be useful to you, is that that weird shit that John Pidgeon said he saw.
00:37:17
Speaker
I see it back there. It's just sitting further back, I'm pretty sure debt did but that they all came I've seen them all come out of it, and there's either nobody in there or maybe like one or two guys in there. You can maybe take their little boat if you wanted to, their little carriage, their underwater carriage.
00:37:32
Speaker
Well, I don't know. that I don't know. That's useful. Underwater carriage. I've seen that over there. It's not far away either. You saw it. right well You can't listen to me talking. but No, I didn't see it. No, I didn't see it. my my My little Mr. Bundy here has reported the underwater carriage. Yeah, see, I'm not crazy. not crazy.
00:37:50
Speaker
And of course, you know, I repeat all the other things that he said since you guys don't speak owl. Oh, wow. So there's five guys down there. Perhaps burgers and fries. And then... and then and then um I'll teach you owl if you teach me dance.
00:38:04
Speaker
Al Bundy yells at you, he's like, yeah, there's five guys and a guy underneath the water spinning his hands making the whirlpool, so there's six guys overall, but that guy seems like he's preoccupied at the moment. hey
Fish-like Creatures Attack
00:38:14
Speaker
is anybody Is anybody good with marksmanship that can fire a gun into the water and shoot that guy?
00:38:20
Speaker
don't have guns, sir. There's no guns on this ship? No. I've got a bow. Well, so do I, but I don't think I'm going to be out i'm goingnna be able to fire it hard enough into a whirlpool and have it hit my mark.
00:38:33
Speaker
and then You don't have a gun. And the wizard goes, if we good um Oh, yes, do you have a gun, Mr. Wizard? He's like, My hands are guns. Right. well can you can you Can you spin the water in the other direction so we don't tip over? Because we're all about to die.
00:38:52
Speaker
Ah, yes, sorry. As an NPC, I must be directed before I act. Spinnicus! quite a ri kiss He starts doing a little World of Warcraft dance where he's just spinning his arms around in a circle and he's he moving a little bit.
00:39:07
Speaker
Excellent. You guys start to steady off at least. Okay, good. Alright, I'm going to grab a couple of those knives, put them in my mouth, i'm gonna jump in the water and go ask those guys in the water. I was like, just as you do that...
00:39:21
Speaker
fucking uh ropes with with with briny hooks start click clack over the edge of the thing dear I'm gonna kick him off uh okay I start chopping the the ropes oh shit there's two on each side of ship connected it to it hell yeah you do that shit how far away do do I know how far the the underwater carriage was that Mr. Bundy was telling me about yeah he's flying over right now he's like he's got a little exclamation point over his head like how far is it hey listen um It's a good half of an elephant. or It's like an elephant's full length away with its trunk extended.
00:39:59
Speaker
Americans use anything but the metrics. Yeah. Jesus Christ. So it's like right on our ass. It's a good 10 second swim away. All right. I'm going to go do that while this is happening. These guys are fighters, like up close fighters. I'm not. I'm going to go and handle that.
00:40:13
Speaker
Where are you going? I'm going to go get us an underwater carriage. I shall return shortly. I'm going to kick a guy off as he's just climbing up, and I'm going like, I'm coming too. I'm coming with him. Hey, who's the GM here? Okay, this is a guy climbing up. You see a scaly hand grab onto the thing, and ah and a fishy head comes up over, and he's like, Oi, prick.
00:40:35
Speaker
ah a i just say I'm going to kick him off. Can kick him off? Roll an attack. Roll a hack and hack and slash with your Can kick some ass instead? Roll a kick some face with your hack and slash button. missed.
00:40:47
Speaker
I know how I missed, but... Yeah, prick, you gotta do better than that. And he he jumps up over and he's got ah he's got a he's got a harpoon's turn of weapon on his In his hand. In his hand?
00:41:01
Speaker
And he's like... and he's like he's like Oh no. oh no This is our fish talk. Oh no. Oh my God. Are you a murloc? I can speak fish.
00:41:17
Speaker
I wish I could speak fish. I'll teach you if you show me your dance moves. Anytime, darling. Anytime. also you So you missed. So that guy's going to swing as his swings his point edge stick at you there, Johnny Pigeon.
00:41:33
Speaker
And he's going to hit you for four damage. All right. I six i have six health left. That can't be possible. We gave you a potion last time. Yeah. I i drank the potion. and I went up to 20 and then I took like 18 more hits.
00:41:45
Speaker
No, you didn't. What? I have no armor still. I don't remember you getting your ass beat further after that. yeah. What? I'll just set it back to 22. Or 22 and You're going to say, did you put your health back? You guys would have had time to drink some potions. It's fine. We'll pretend you drink some potions.
00:42:01
Speaker
You found some more down there in Kremble's Hole. I made 18 health. Also, you leveled up. So you should have... you Every time you level up, you get full health again like a video game. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's true. That's that's that's canon.
00:42:13
Speaker
Actually, technically, to level up, you have to rest and sit down so you guys rest it for a little while and then you leveled up. Yeah, we knocked him out. We were just shooting the breeze for a minute. Yeah. no yeah and Talking about going to a bar.
00:42:24
Speaker
Yeah. Anywho, that happens. And then more guys start jumping over the edges. on yours well You know what? People start jumping over the edges, and then we'll go to the fifth because he's out there in the middle of the ocean swimming. All right. um but Before I jump off, I'm going to say to the wizard, ah hey, you know, just support these two in whatever endeavors they have to battle these hookage creatures, yes?
00:42:45
Speaker
And then I backflip off the ship and into the water. Thank you for giving me a purpose. ah Otherwise, we're not elected. Yeah, I remember you said that. I must fight this whirlpool. What a about the whirlpool?
00:42:59
Speaker
Don't worry. I'm going to crash the underwater carriage into the guy doing it. Okay, so... Why you Grand Theft Auto underwater? So you
Thip's Underwater Adventure
00:43:07
Speaker
swim over there, and there's like a hatch on the top of it.
00:43:10
Speaker
So there's a hatch that you can get into. Are they above water? Because like otherwise, I'm just going to drown whoever's in it. Um... Well, no, they're fish people, so no, they can't drown. It might be full of water already. That's true. It's below the water a little bit.
00:43:24
Speaker
All right. Well, I just take a big old breath, I guess, and then just try to yank that sucker open. Okay. Or like, yeah or not yank it, you know, valve it. You know, you turn it, you twist it, you pop it, you pull it. I never, there's not, actually, there's not a valve. It's got a pulley.
00:43:37
Speaker
Oh, it's a pull valve. Oh, damn, that's confusing. You newt it. All right. I pop it open the best I can. Yeah, you know what? shove a sword under there and just why don't you, since you're trying not to drown and you're trying to open a thing up, do a little defy danger for me, whatever you want to whether you're being, being quick or dexterous or you're holding your breath real good with constitution or you're talking yourself with charisma saying, I can't, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Uh, you know, I, I, I don't know.
00:44:05
Speaker
You know, what I'm going to go with dexterity. Only because I'm just like trying to quickly like get my breath and then just like jam a sword out it real quick, and I'm trying to do it real fucking fast. Because I know I don't have a big lung capacity. I'm like saying, yeah, do that sheet. How's an eight go for you? An eight means you stumble or hesitate or flinch.
00:44:26
Speaker
GM will offer you a worse outcome, hard bargain, or ugly choice. oh Oh, no. i hope it's not an ugly choice. i don't like ugly choices. um oh my god you'll either take four damage as you kind of hold your breath too long you get hurt a little bit or um yeah don't want to say you bend your maybe you bend your sword you bend your sword a little bit um or honestly i'm not attached to that sword that's fine i assume that i honestly thought it was going to break in half shoving it i will say i will say bending doesn't really matter so i'll say yeah it breaks or you take some damage i think it makes I don't think I would take that much damage if I just put my head under there to do it.
00:45:00
Speaker
But I do think that like probably like at risk of like trying to wedge this thing open, my sword probably just like breaks in half. yeah that's yeah so snap I just have like a little shitty pointy dagger. yeah it's like ah It's like what you start off with in Dark Souls. You can you can still kill somebody with it, surely. but yeah So you pop it open and I don't know. I guess they they these guys can breathe air too because they're coming up. so um yeah yeah There's like a little cavity in there and water starts gushing in.
00:45:27
Speaker
And, um, good. Uh, I'm to say, I should have said, well, here's, oh, here's a new three hoist for you. You probably still choose your sword breaking. either Either instead of the damage, ah your sword breaks, or as water gets sucked into that hole, you get sucked down in there too.
00:45:41
Speaker
I mean, that's that's probably more likely to happen. Yeah, I'll get sucked in than there. That's cool. Yeah, yes that's that's interesting. You get sucked down in there, man. um Oh no, I'm being sucked in. Oh no, I'm being sucked off. This is an ugly choice.
00:45:56
Speaker
So you're down there and there's a there's you you're kind of sloshing around as the water kind of fills up and it stops sucking um in and you see ah it's pretty dark, but there's little lights in there, too, I guess, probably little like little magical lights.
00:46:08
Speaker
And there's a guy, another little fisherman. And he's, he's like at the steering wheel and he looks back and he's like, well, I can understand all creatures now. What did he say? um well You can understand animals. why is it he's in You said he is he speaks fish, right?
00:46:26
Speaker
Well, he speaks fish person. oh damn i was gonna say if he speaks fish i know fish if you as i say if you understand a fish person you understand a dwarf's language too and i think we're we're stretching your ability a little too far there so wait if it's fish person that's different if he speaks fish i know fish these animals these aren't people but we're all animals david all right well then if i don't understand them then um i'm just gonna pull out like what's left of my jagged sword and then just like take a dive because you took a different choice remember Oh, I thought that it was important. Can I also say it's broken? I liked it. It's a broken sword. Yeah.
00:47:00
Speaker
I think it's more interesting that like I had to get sucked and get broken before I could have what I wanted. ah ri Man, take a point of experience for choosing two, both of the effects for that. Okay. Sure. I'll do that. That works for me.
00:47:14
Speaker
I still got to kick a dead body. going to kick this guy so I'm But yeah, he... ah I know. I got to deal with John. Damn. it's It's kind of small there, but this this poor bastard um on the on the thing for him, he ah he says he has a, his attack name is Trident. So he has a he pulls a trident around. hes go He's like, he's like threatening. He's going to jab it at you.
00:47:33
Speaker
Wait, so how much room is in there and how much water is in here? Because like if the pressure pulled me in, if I'm, am I floating or am I like ankle deep, knee deep? It's full of water now at this point. So I'm swimming inside of this thing.
00:47:44
Speaker
Yeah. okay so i can't lunge at him with a with a sword that doesn't make sense so no you could try and kick it i mean it's not super big it has it was big enough to hold like a few guys in here but um you can like you know what i'm gonna kick my feet off the back wall and try to torpedo myself towards him with my with my broken dagger am i okay okay i'm gonna let that all just be a hack and slash we'll see how well you do kicking off and stabbing with your slashing with your little all right well i do get dexterity on my on this particular guy because i have what is it called um I have a thing that lets me use dexterity for these. I believe it. I believe it. Do it.
00:48:17
Speaker
There it is. That's still a four. I fucked up. o So again, I had our experience point there. Oh, geez. I did not kick nearly as hard off that wall as I wanted to.
00:48:28
Speaker
And he's. he's I rolled shit. I rolled double. I rolled snake eyes on that. God damn. And, um, you know what? He, I guess he would just want to stab you. So he's going to stab you with his, he gets you with a four. How's that make you feel? I was going to take four damage anyway earlier. So I guess it's only fair.
00:48:45
Speaker
Yeah. All right. He jabs you with that little bit of that trident as you float around. ah He's like, he's like, wow don' go out of I say it back to him. he's like
00:48:59
Speaker
I just yell it through the bubbles that I'm trying to suck back into my mouth. um also here yeah we'll We'll leave you there in your little scuffle. um Let's go back to Twyla now. You're at the edge of the thing and then two fishmen have just jumped up on the on the railing on the edge.
00:49:14
Speaker
What do you do? ah
00:49:20
Speaker
She's going toot her horn and go, please don't stab me. I'm just a bod. Please don't stab me. I'm just a bod. and
00:49:37
Speaker
Yeah. That's what she does at that moment. Okay. I like that her instinct is always just to toot her horn and just repeat the same lyrics to really drill the message home. so are you she's not using a particular move yours where it's going to maybe say defy danger with charisma? Okay. Okay.
00:49:55
Speaker
okay
00:49:59
Speaker
Please don't stop me. I'm just about... I love it! They're like... who and um they so They see yeah they say the big muscly chick coming down with like a... I'll say she has a mace she uses.
00:50:14
Speaker
And they're like... boom And they jump over and start fighting her. While they are going after her, I'm gonna like... trip them. I'm just going to like reach my foot out and trip them while I'm still singing and dancing. Okay. um I'll either let... Well, I guess, actually, this point, that might be a um la la ah defend maneuver. So you could try to do a defend and probably... i mean Unless you probably will, you'll probably be able to trip one of them.
00:50:41
Speaker
But you can do it. And think it defaults the Constitution, but you're your foot out real quick. You could do dexterity if that's better for you. Okay. Um...
00:50:55
Speaker
Either I think will work. Okay. Then roll that chase. You got the one. um Okay. So long as you stand in defense, which I guess you're just knocking the guy over. right um Yeah, just do next week. You have those choices there. You only got one of them, we'll say, but you knock the guy down and you can have one of those choices on the list there.
00:51:15
Speaker
um
Battle and Haunted Brass Knuckles
00:51:16
Speaker
I open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker, even though she's an NPC. That's fine, yeah. The good thing is she's an NPC, so she does whatever fuck I want her to. She fucking sees that laying on the ground.
00:51:28
Speaker
she so She grabs her mace with both hands. She grabs the shaft of that mace, and she just swings it down and splat! That guy's head is erupted on the floor. And his friend's like, whoa! Johnny Pigeon on the other side of the ship um The guy you tried kicking in the head, is he's climbed over, and another one of his boys is climbing up as well.
00:51:50
Speaker
What is on your agenda for today? I want to get the hook that the guy is climbing up on off the ship. You fucked all their hooks over, so they're just climbing up on the ship now. These motherfuckers.
00:52:03
Speaker
But that's why they're that's why they're you know clamoring up a little slower. um want to... I want to like ah point over the side of the ship and go what's like holy shit look at that and distract him okay I guess you want to roll Define Danger with charisma
00:52:26
Speaker
why isn't it rolling god damn it why is it not fucking I hate this it roll 20 do it rule twenty do it ti d do read A ten!
00:52:40
Speaker
Holy! lee So yeah, they're like, and they look they both look... And then i want to push him off. <unk> push him? I want to pick his legs, I want to like grab us legs and then just like flip them overboard. with him Oh shit.
00:52:54
Speaker
Alright, I'll just let you do that because you he's distracted, he's not looking at you. So whoop! pink Hopefully he hits his buddy on the way down. he kerplunks. And the other guy's still there though.
00:53:04
Speaker
um and the guy's still there though All right. That's unfortunate. Do I have long stick or something nearby? Did you? know You took... You have fist... You have punches abilities. You can punch.
00:53:16
Speaker
But he's he's like... There's no like stick or anything. Okay, that's all you needed to say, Justin. Fistergeists. have your fistergeists. Well, I can't punch him. He's out of range, so I guess I'll just wait until he climbs up in and then I'll punch deciding a lot of shit for a PC player character, man. What are you talking about, dude? I didn't know you were a GM game master. I don't want to argue with you, Justin.
00:53:36
Speaker
He's coming after you. But actually, the other just the second guy that came up, you he's coming after you, right? And then all of a sudden, an icicle just shoots out of the back of his, through the back of his head, out the front of his head, and whizzes past you, covered in ah and orange Mirelurk blood.
00:53:52
Speaker
Mirelurk blood as it flies past your head, and he just falls down. and you Actually, no, you look through the hole where the icicle came through, and you see the ah the wizard up there on top of the deck giving you thumbs up. Nice shot, lad.
00:54:05
Speaker
And then the ship starts creaking again and turning. He's like, oh, my way! And he starts doing his little dance again. You don't need to do that. We're fine. to Just kill these guys. And then that's that's your turn there. Good job. You looked for a stick and you flipped a guy. um Back to you inside the in the submarine. marine Flip, what do you want to Well, I got poked.
00:54:26
Speaker
yeah And I tried to do a stabbing. You did. ah So, ah are there any... You said it's just like a little thing, right?
00:54:37
Speaker
Yeah. They were kind crammed in there like sardines, which is funny because they are fish. Is that insensitive? Yeah, it might be fish culturally appropriative. You can't say that. They can, but we can. Ah, shit. um So, um I think...
00:54:53
Speaker
I don't know. I still think I could kick this dude's ass, but like I kind of want to get more creative than just like, i stab him, I miss, I get hurt. Let's do that all over again. um Okay. Is there any sort of digits... Not digits, that's not the word. Doodads or gizmos or... or or um levers like what is what is the mechanisms what do they look like that he is near he's currently defending from me yeah there's all so type of shit there's he's got a little steering wheel in front of him sort of almost like a ship's thing but not like that because he they have their own designs um he's got like ah a there's a conch cell on the little board in front of him that has like a a curly wire attached to it um it goes down it's like his phone and uh there's also there's all sorts of like little yeah there's no
00:55:39
Speaker
That's great. That's what he calls back to base. think that's great. um And yeah, there's like, um there's some like little, ah there's like, and there's, let's say there's another hatch, like kind of below too on the ground. Like maybe it's like, um you know, something else down there's a little hatch that goes down below under the ship. Maybe.
00:55:56
Speaker
Is there anything that would deplete the water from within here? Like, can I, can I deduce because I'm currently underwater and I will drown soon. So I need to like figure this out. Cause even if I slay this guy, I need to know how to like get myself not drowning.
00:56:12
Speaker
Um, you see uh, a lever that is up right near him. That's it's, it's, it's pointed to the down position, which, um, It has a symbol there that shows um like a line of waves, like the water.
00:56:26
Speaker
And then it shows a little circle ah with a little with a little fin on it. It's like the the submarine thing you're in. It's under the waves. And at the top where the lever is not pointing, it shows this little fish submarine um above the waves sitting on them like it's above the water.
00:56:41
Speaker
Okay, cool. That's good to know that they have similar hieroglyphics that we have. They're stupid. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, okay. What do you think that you would have me roll if I were to, um, uh,
00:56:59
Speaker
if I were, if I need to get past him to grab said lever, like if I wanted to just like, probably so I tried to torpedo myself. So I am in the area, so I don't really have to get too far. I'm in the in vicinity. He just poked me as I came towards him. No, I just, you probably find danger to make sure he doesn't get you.
00:57:14
Speaker
All right, I want to grab his trident like after he poked me, so I want to grab it and see if I can't like do like some like ah Jackie Chan shit and do like ah like a water run on the walls to like turn it to like hit the lever.
00:57:27
Speaker
Oh, that's crazy. That sounds pretty dexterous to me, if I've ever heard about some dexterity. Yeah, I want to just do quick little grab and run and whack. Yeah, do that shit, brother. Roll that for me. What do you want me Is that a defy danger? Yeah, defy danger. Defy that shit.
00:57:41
Speaker
going to defy it, hopefully. Okay. That's a nine. Okay, that's a nine nine um okay so You have some options here.
00:57:52
Speaker
ah Let's say it's going to happen, of course, but either we'll do the very generic thing where he hurts you a little bit. ah Sure. Or or or um the trident snags your loincloth and you'll be so no down there a little bit more. and and because When you get up, it's not going to obviously the water's not going to magically just disappear. It's going to still be in there.
00:58:15
Speaker
But you'll at least be able to get up on top of the thing and not be under the water anymore, in the water, and able to breathe at least. um but he's going to snag your loincloth with the thing, his his stick, and you're going to be have a little hard time getting up out of there to breathe again.
00:58:28
Speaker
Getting up out of where? Out of the water-filled submarine when you get back to the surface. Oh, it's not going to empty? No, it's like it's just going to be like a bowl of water sitting on top of the water. Oh, I thought I was, I thought I was like, it would empty itself out if I brought it up to surface level.
00:58:43
Speaker
You might have to open a door or something for that, but you'll at least be able to get up and breathe. but Okay. All right, cool. That's fair. All right, fine. So yeah, I'm still like trying to work through that whole thing. ah But yeah, so at least I kick the lever. I run over there. Maybe instead, if I get caught on the pitchfork, maybe instead of me using the trident to do it, maybe I just like kick my little goblin legs and yeah.
00:59:02
Speaker
And whack the lever. And you guys whoa! Yeah, so like there's like a ah a pressurous force that pushes us downward because we're like shooting up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go, okay.
00:59:14
Speaker
So I'm just like, oh yeah oh and And then you hear, start starts to happen, you hear, wherever the Sonic Hedgehog music was, whenever you started to drown.
00:59:26
Speaker
So... Oh, good. But we'll go that later because you probably wrote fly danger again. We'll make you not do that two times in a row. Get some other stuff to happen first before we do the same to roll. yeah yeah swim I mean, Thyla.
00:59:39
Speaker
She loves her thighs. She loves thighs. Um, Twyla, you're there now with one guy who's looking at, um, the the bruiser lady and, um,
00:59:50
Speaker
You hear sweat footprints slapping on the thing above you here's someone your and you're, and you looked at the front of the ship and there's a guy walking up the front. Um, he's, he just killed one of the random people that used to row the ship.
01:00:02
Speaker
And he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. What you want to do with your life?
01:00:10
Speaker
Um, I don't know what I want to do with my life. Um, she is going, Oh, let's see. Hmm. She's going to point her finger at the dude and look up at the wizard and be like, could you handle this for me? i have to help Madeline get this guy that That is how she says her name.
01:00:36
Speaker
He goes, sure, I suppose. um But why don't you roll with charisma just to see if he does work as best as he can for you?
01:00:49
Speaker
Just do a random charisma roll. Nine. Oh, yeah. He shoots a lightning bolt across the ship at that guy. But, oh, no. Mistake.
01:01:00
Speaker
He also burns the sail a little bit because he was just doing a quick shot as he told him to do a quick shot. But that guy goes... and he falls down and everybody smells the smell of microwaved fish in the office and then you hear and ah Al Bundy comes down and starts going um and he's still alive he's like as Al Bundy pecks him to death for the last bit of things tonight we feast on fish and everybody's like yay and the guy who got stabbed is like he's holding his neck but yeah then you're you you have a chance to help Madeline she's kind of like
01:01:40
Speaker
ah going clang, clang, clang with the guy's weapon, with her mace. What do you want to do? She's going to use her bow, and she's just going to shoot the guy in the head. Oh, well, you can damn sure, damn sure try, do that volley.
01:01:59
Speaker
Volley? An eight. Alrighty, then, you can deal your damage and choose one of those negatives. Okay.
01:02:09
Speaker
I have to move to get the shot, placing me in danger. Okay, alright. Move to get that shot, then. And then do that damage roll. Let's see here.
01:02:23
Speaker
A three. A whopping three. So yeah, you shoot him in the back of like the the head, but it just scrapes across his neck, and he's like, and he like touches it with his hand, and that gives What's-Your-Face the opportunity to him the old smash-bash-kabash on his on his side of his mouth with his with his her stick ah mace.
01:02:43
Speaker
And then he spins around. And as he spins around, unfortunately, you're you got a little too close. He spins and falls and flies. And his weapon strikes you as he falls and dies.
01:02:53
Speaker
And that it does. Holy shit. Max damage. Can you believe it? Oh, lord. Six damages as you get accidentally slashed by a dying guy.
01:03:04
Speaker
Isn't that ironic? Ironic. Ironic. says, what's her name? Alanis Morissette? We've all been there. That happened. um So you did, at least you killed that. You helped kill that guy and the other guy.
01:03:15
Speaker
and then Johnny Pigeon, there's one more guy who you said was not close enough, but now he's but he's in, he's he's passed beyond stick distance. He's now close enough to you that you could do whatever you want to him. Johnny Pigeon.
01:03:32
Speaker
I'm sorry, I was muted. um Well, I don't think the trick ah pointing to something and faking him out is going to work again. Well, thanks for reminding me of that. That guy's climbing back up because you just flipped him into water, which is where he's most safe. All right. um I get a rope and I just hang myself then.
01:03:48
Speaker
mean, you hang yourself. I let them stab me and just get off the ship. since But anyway, yeah there's one guy still in front of you. The other guy is going to climb back up because he didn't he he just threw him into his home.
01:04:00
Speaker
So he he's fine. Okay, I'm going don want to do a hack and slash. Okay, hack and slash this guy who's made of fish.
01:04:12
Speaker
I hit a nine. You hit him. Do your damage.
01:04:18
Speaker
but What special things does your Pfistergeist have? um I want to grab that the trident he has and just punch him in the fucking face. And then, yeah, that's it. but The Fistergeist.
01:04:29
Speaker
What kind of what but bonuses does your Fistergeist have? ah It doesn't have any. You can choose two. David, you're just the worst. They're haunted. You're just the absolute worst. You're the worst.
01:04:40
Speaker
I'm rebellious now. Do you mean like what what the tags are? Yeah, you can choose two enhancements on it. Oh. It's your signature weapon. i don't I need to do a quest before I figure that shit out.
01:04:54
Speaker
These are just some brass knuckles I found right now. As you punch him, you did your damage six. I'm just going to say that guy straight up just dies and you hear you feel a tingle of coldness running up your arm before you punched him and you hear Yes, feed me more blood.
01:05:12
Speaker
Alright, I'm going to drop those overboard. You can't. you can't or near you know't You can't. Wait, I can't take these off. Twilight, help. These are actually haunted. We are connected now. No, we're not. Feed me. me.
01:05:30
Speaker
Feed me, pigeon. Feed me, pigeon. Feed me, pigeon. Alright, that's the end of my turn, I guess. but
01:05:44
Speaker
Well, rolled a nine, going to say the guy who you flew... I'll take 18 damage and die. He jumps up, and he's going to try and grab hold of you. So you're up to... You can still do a defy danger. You hear the slishy splashies of a guy come up. He's trying to grab you and pull you down. He's like, you want me to go into water, man? I'm going to take you. But all he says is... So you try to... going to roll defy danger, charisma. Defy danger.
01:06:10
Speaker
Again.
01:06:13
Speaker
And I rolled an 11. Holy shit. yeah yeah i want I want to do the same damn thing and then flip back over. He's like... But honestly I wanted I don't want to just flip him over. i want to like... ah I want to like... Flip him off the edge and then grab him by his feet.
01:06:31
Speaker
Okay. And... Walk him over to an area of the ship where he's going to hit sling on the way down. And then drop him. Okay. Okay.
01:06:42
Speaker
You do that. I guess there's something sticking out in the one part of the ship. You can drop one. Is there anything? if there's not anything, they'll just
Submarine Control and Victory
01:06:48
Speaker
drop them. There's a part of the ship where there's a little arm that comes off and a sword sticking up that just sticks straight up into the air. Amazing. going to drop him on that.
01:06:57
Speaker
Okay. He takes one damage. Hell yeah. And he goes, fuck this, I'm out. And he swims away. she All his boys are dying. Good job.
01:07:11
Speaker
um And, uh, back to Thip in the submarine. Excellent.
01:07:20
Speaker
Uh, we're up topside now, right? They can see us. You can see the sunlight coming in through the watery above you hole of the ship. Uh... All right.
01:07:32
Speaker
I'm gonna try to get underneath this fool and then, ah take ah you know what actually no i'm just gonna try to loosen myself and get up into the ah they need to breathe i'm dying yeah um but that thing wasn't full of water before right um like i let water in when i opened it yeah So that means there has to be a way to let water out of it.
01:08:00
Speaker
Maybe. Where the fuck did it go? Where does it go? Because there has to be an exhaust somewhere in this thing. Yeah. I did tell you there's like another hatch you see on the in the part of the ship there on the inside that doesn't go up. and Where is it? It goes down. It's just somewhere that would make the water go out. Let's just say that.
01:08:17
Speaker
ah Okay, cool. ah Then i am going to try to kick myself off of this dude and open that. Okay. um Do something.
01:08:28
Speaker
And then if the water does go down, going to pull an arrow out of my quiver and chuck it at that dude's face. um Actually, no, I have knives. still have throwing knives. to do that. Okay, that sounds good too. I was going to say, well would you want to you want to push him into the hole so he gets sucked out of it?
01:08:44
Speaker
I know, because he's still going to be alive. He's alive, yeah. Okay. No, I just can't have him be dead because i want to have a submarine. Huh? Yeah, so don't be like John Pigeon, just throw somebody money in the water. were they where they Where they live and they're happy. No, I'd like to just ram his head over and over and over into that hatch and just break his neck, but like I need to get it open first. Yeah, we'll just say you know you're you're ah he's you're all kind of like, whoa, I'm just going to let you open it. That's fine.
01:09:08
Speaker
um And then water starts and then you can do the hack and slash to fight that motherfucker. ah I'm actually going to volley if I may. I'm going to throw a knife at him. Oh, yeah, nice. Throw a knife.
01:09:20
Speaker
Knife style. Yeah. That's an 11, baby. Holy! Do your damage. Come on. A seven. I fucking just throw that shit. and In fact, as the the thing opens, it's kind of near you both, and he starts like going... so to end it But then, just as you do, like and your knife goes and hits him. Where hit him?
01:09:38
Speaker
If it kills him, I'm going hit him in the neck. Okay, yeah, the knife just goes... And he's like... And he needs to get sucked out anyway. Oh, my knife. You just see a streak of a streak of orange blood, like getting sucked down into the hole.
01:09:51
Speaker
Cool. going to jump in the driver's seat. You find yourself standing in the water at the bottom of the thing. Cause it's all drained out and you're like, Oh yeah, do that. I'm going to, uh, wait, wait, wait, take a deep breath.
01:10:04
Speaker
a There you go. Oh God. That's what it feels like to breathe. I was almost a fisherman. Um, I'm going to pop the i'm going to pop the ah the thing shut.
01:10:17
Speaker
ah That way it's empty in here. And I'm going to go i'm going to go ah see if I can learn how to drive this thing and go crash into the guy who's making a whirlpool because our wizard is still counteracting that. Yeah. Yeah. there's you've got You can figure it out. Yeah.
01:10:31
Speaker
I saw, I see the gas. I'm going to try to take it down, but I'm going to push the button that puts me underwater. Cause I know what that is now. Yeah. I'm going to go underwater and I'm going to like, see can I see like a screen? Can I see a windshield or ah a water shield that shows me outward so I can see what I'm doing? Yeah, man, for sure. Of course. All right. I'm just going to drive it directly down into that guy and just like honk something really cool.
01:10:51
Speaker
yeah Um, I guess, meet me me meet meat i guess meet do meet do do a hack and slash with Dexterity as you're steering this thing, Dexterous style, probably. ah Or just roll dexterity and then go by whatever you score you get.
01:11:04
Speaker
Smacking bash. yeah I got a seven. A seven? we we We drive towards him. Yeah, and then you hit him. Do your damage. do it damn dumb but Actually, do like, how much is your base damage?
01:11:19
Speaker
It's a D8. Do two D8s. Alright, so that's 11 total. Yeah, he's just he's a bug on your windshield. Excellent. And But since you wrote a seven, I'm going to say the submarine starts it gets caught up in the little whirlpool that's still there. And you're like getting spun around.
01:11:36
Speaker
was going to say, I guess the wizard still is usually doing his up top side because you don't know better yet. now Yeah, now you know you start spinning one way because you're stuck in the whirlpool down here. But then you start a getting spun the other way. So first of all, you're getting a little nauseous.
01:11:47
Speaker
Oh, God, I'm getting flushed upwards like in Dungeon Australia. You're getting pulled up towards the ship. You got to hurry up and try and like drive away so you don't smack it in a ship. Fly danger.
01:11:58
Speaker
Ah, fuck. fire With what? Probably dexterity again, because you're twiddling your little fingers on the thing.
01:12:06
Speaker
rolled 10! You! Hell yeah, you pulled off, brother. You steer that thing away. I'm pulling off so hard. I'm pulling off to get off. Let's go. That's great. I flip that bitch into... Actually, you know what I do is I flip it into a reverse. I figure out how to do that, and like I just like flip it and reverse it. And I back out of it. Hell yeah.
01:12:22
Speaker
I bend down, flip it, and reverse it. ands Yeah, do that. whatever Yeah, I'm Missy Elliott-ing it right now. Now you're behind the ship and everybody else on the ship. It's A-OK up there. Everybody's dead who's supposed to be dead, except for that one guy who was one of the prisoners. He's also dead because he got stabbed, but that's OK. We don't really know his name or who he was.
01:12:43
Speaker
And yeah, that's it. Yeah, I pop the hatch open and I yell out, how's it going up there? the wizards Tell the wizard to stop the thing.
01:12:55
Speaker
Jolly-ho! and we did Oh, I thought he ah thought he did stop because he was casting other spells. as he Well, he was he was kind of... He kept switching back and forth because he had to keep it. But he's heed hes really he would see that the ship's spinning now. He's like oh, my!
01:13:08
Speaker
And he stops. He's like, it would appear that whirlpool has stopped! Great. Excellent. Woo-hoo, we won! yeah can i Can I roll this? is there is there a lifeboat area where I could like attach this thing to it?
01:13:23
Speaker
Yeah. I was going to roll up and just like try to tie it off the best I can. That way we have this thing. Yeah. Yeah. Come to the back. i I'll, I'll crank you up with our pulley system. Yes. Crank me up.
01:13:34
Speaker
I thought about saying, and then as you're driving that thing, Thip, you feel it start to disintegrate underneath you because a DM doesn't want you to have it, but figured it'd be funny if you kept it or fun. If you kept it. yeah. I was going say, got to come up with a cool name for it.
01:13:46
Speaker
you know, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to call it the, the, The Dom Marine. It's not a submarine. It's um a Beautiful ship.
01:13:58
Speaker
Beautiful name. Yes, I call it Dom Marine. And speaking of dumb, you hear from the front. You hear, yeah he's he's sniffing the fish's burnt smelling air. He's like, did we end up at the whorehouse or something?
01:14:13
Speaker
You've been asleep this whole time. Jeez. Future Jesus, come on. Have I? What?
01:14:22
Speaker
ah got it I'm going to add the Don Marine to my gear. Okay, that's great. Somebody's got remember it there. um But yeah, all that because Twyla's first spell attracted unwanted attention.
01:14:35
Speaker
Oh, is that what it was? Wowee, I didn't guess that at all.
Cultural Exchanges and Future Plans
01:14:40
Speaker
forty You're welcome. Way to fuck everything up. as And Mr. Dim, can I have a piece of your pecker? My owl is famished.
01:14:51
Speaker
What? No! Can I have a piece of me pecker? If we're at a whorehouse, I'm going to use it. I just need a piece of it. no What piece are you going to take?
01:15:03
Speaker
I don't know. the Just give me the tip. That's the most important part! Okay, alright, look, I hate to have to defend this because man here, um but Thip, it's kind of fucked up.
01:15:17
Speaker
Not gonna lie. Can I have some of your, Pekka, then? But, uh... tip you here hey don't worry about boss there's plenty of fish stick to go around i'm fine i'm gonna eat i'm eating fish sticks all night i love sticks everybody should eat try fish sticks at least once yeah the golden's fishing man's brought me some fish sticks i'll excuse that but uh i'll remember it what i'm gonna remember that but i'll like well you know i'll let you slide Remember what? That you like fish sticks?
01:15:47
Speaker
No, that you're asking for part of me cock.
01:15:52
Speaker
I mean, is that ah is that uncouth in your culture? I just thought it was fine to ask. Yeah, that's like the worst violation you could ever commit. Yes, if you saw on your on your HUD, you saw a thing pop up and said, John will remember this.
01:16:05
Speaker
What do you say, old chap? You want to go and kick one of these ah fish people for fun with me? Yeah, I got one right here. We can kick him overboard. Hell yeah. like Jump and drop kick it while he kicks it.
01:16:16
Speaker
Guess what? You guys resolve your bond. That bond is no more. as you can't keep abusing it. but you've You've reminisced. And yeah you're getting. Now my next bond is Thip threatened to they just straight up asked.
01:16:31
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to write. I think John is mad at me to take part of my dick. And I am mad at him. John is mad at me for the dick incident. It's not mad, it's just, it's fucking weird. That's my that's what I'm saying.
01:16:46
Speaker
I'm not mad, it's just fucking weird. Well, Twyla, what do you say? what do you say we just... yeah know i'll I'll start teaching you how to talk fish, and you or how to talk owl, and you can start showing me how to do those beautiful spins you did earlier today.
01:17:02
Speaker
Oh, absolutely, darling. Meet me in my quarters later. Wait, at the same time as Madeline? Yes. Oh, dear. I'm not going to her quarters.
01:17:13
Speaker
Owl Bundy, hold my calls. And then the wizard guy's like, I'll come to the quarters. and like to see spins. Oh, you you're welcome, darling. Come on along.
01:17:26
Speaker
Hell yeah! been class in Twyla's quarters in five minutes, gang. Everybody pile in. I'm going to sit and spin. Ha ha ha ha
01:18:13
Speaker
Oh, does it look good already? Time to run!