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Timejail: A Devil Went Down To France
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An early release because... reasons I guess. Anyway, Today, we meet a new friend named Jacob and we reunited with our pal Kimmie as they join us in this thrilling and weird episode of Timejail! What happens when a soldier from an apocalyptic future, a Scotsman from a tiny war, a thief who steals from demons, and a child in shark pajamas get locked in Timejail? Well...*shrugs*
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Transcript
Introduction & Setting the Scene
00:00:28
Speaker
Man, I haven't hosted a time zone a hot second. What do I usually say? I think it's the same thing, right? Don't I introduce it the way I always do? Right? yeah nor Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, cool. Hey, hey, hey. Happy Zombie Jesus Day, guys. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to everybody out there in all universes. no unknown This is Roll Players. And welcome to... Did I say LOL players? It's Roll Players. It's not LOL players.
00:00:48
Speaker
And welcome back to... an episode of Time Jail where we have some familiar voices and a new one that is so damn sexy that you'll ask him to read you bedtime stories um to go to sleep
Explaining 'Time Jail' and Improvisation
00:01:00
Speaker
at night.
00:01:00
Speaker
um And no, surprisingly, it's not David. um And so, ah yeah, we're here in Time Jail. So what we're going to do real quick, so I'm going to give you a quick rundown, the quick rundown of Kimmy just said that she has Many times asked him to read her bedtime stories. Excellent.
00:01:19
Speaker
um So essentially this is Time Jail. And this is your first time here. How Time Jail works is the players are placed as whatever characters they picked from any time, any universe, any world.
00:01:30
Speaker
They're put into this white void, completely devoid of anything other than the occasional snail person and like a series of labyrinthian walls off in the distance. Everything else they don't know anything about, right?
00:01:42
Speaker
And for the uninitiated, this episode is like 99% improvised beyond what I just told you. So everything else that's going to happen is stuff that I get improvised from the players or that I get inspired from by shit they say or something they told me about their character before we started playing.
Character Introductions and Initial Interactions
00:01:58
Speaker
So it's essentially just a giant episode of whose line is it anyway, just with one big prompt, which is escape time jail. And that's it. So without further ado, we're going to introduce our players. So players, you're all trapped in a um A big white void.
00:02:15
Speaker
And as I said, off in the distance somewhere, you can see these kind of big stone labyrinthian walls that stretch out in all sorts of different directions. You are inside of a cell with other cellmates.
00:02:26
Speaker
The walls are invisible, but you can tell like just from like your own maybe experimentation, walking around, whatever it is that you do to kind of assess your situation, it's probably about a 12 12 cube. or square, right?
00:02:38
Speaker
So you haven't been able to escape. Every so often you see this three foot tall snail person comes by. They've introduced themselves as Marion. um They're like pale skin. They wear a blue jacket and a blue hat and they shove like food made from mud through this wall to you.
00:02:55
Speaker
And that's pretty much the only sustenance that you get. Weirdly, I just realized nobody ever poops in this world either. I don't think you guys ever had to poop or pee. I think that's just frozen in time. I don't think you have to do that.
00:03:07
Speaker
You hate doing that anyway. I hate it. I just did it before we started and I was miserable the whole time. I knew it. I just hate ah hate it. I hate shitting so much.
00:03:18
Speaker
um But anyway, um i love that those are things that people remember about me. You need more fiber. I have plenty of fiber. It's just such a waste of time. I hate it.
00:03:31
Speaker
and emmo fiber plenty of fiber i just hate it's just such a waste of time ah hate it i hate doing it i hate how it makes my butt feel when i'm done it's just nothing it's never i don't know it's just an all-around unpleasant experience it's just not fun i don't i don't look forward to it but anyway why don't we introduce our character shall we gather in a cell already but so you know what we're gonna go around and just real quick if everybody wants to give like a brief uh like introduction of what their character looks like and kind of we'll go around and you guys can tell me a little bit like what you've been doing since you've gotten here. Again, you don't know how long it's been. So well since ah everybody knows Cass, Cass spoke up earlier.
00:04:15
Speaker
Cass, why don't you introduce or I guess in this case, reintroduce who you are and who your character is and what they're doing. So I'm playing Nina Sharky. She was on a on an episode in Sean's feed, so I said, you know what? I want to play her again.
00:04:33
Speaker
So that's what I'm doing. And Nina, she's about eight years old. She's got long brown hair, and she's wearing a shark suit.
00:04:45
Speaker
ah shaped pajamas. So like there's like a hood that comes over her head that has like the face of the shark. And then she has a little stuffy that is on like, you know, she's hooked. It almost kind of looks like a shark backpack, but um she has some stuff that is in there that she uses for her everyday um explorations because she wants to be a ah marine biologist someday and she loves sharks so like like those are the things she loves the most um and his name is Ted the shark, her little stuffy and only she can hear him talk.
00:05:30
Speaker
Oh, that's his name. I totally forgot what the fuck his name was. His name's Ted. Awesome. And what is Nina doing at this very moment? Like, or what has she been doing? I should say. I'd say she's probably sitting in the corner, just talking to Ted, having like a conversation with him while munching on a pop tart.
00:05:48
Speaker
Awesome. What kind of pop tart? Oh, brown sugar and cinnamon. It is the only, is the far superior flavor. Yeah. You know, when I was a kid, I would have been like, that's dumb. What you feel is dumb.
00:06:01
Speaker
But as an adult, that's like one of my go-to flavors now. Literally. It is the only one I will buy. And when they don't have them at the store I get them at, I get really mad. If it's not that, it's a chocolate chip is ah is my other one Because it's just a cookie at this point, just shaped like a a square. yeah um Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:20
Speaker
Okay, cool. So Nina's sitting in the corner having a conversation with Ted. ah Kimmy, Kimmy, who are you? And what does your character look like and what are they doing? So you have Darlene and she is...
00:06:37
Speaker
very poised and proper looking, long dark hair with a silver streak in the front. And she's wearing like a black pencil skirt and there's a white blouse and a black suit jacket buttoned up in the front, walking in heels. She pretty much looks like, you know, a librarian or somebody's CEO. The confidence is there.
00:07:01
Speaker
and
00:07:04
Speaker
She is walking around, checking all the walls and feeling them. as She's, you know, getting a little frustrated. you taking any notes? She's not taking notes. She's just touching the walls and feeling them to see if there's any break or anything, any way she could get out of here. Gotcha. She is the crooked playbook. So looking poised and confident is completely her MO.
00:07:30
Speaker
And she's going to try and figure out how to get out of here. Love it. Okay, so she's doing a little investigation. We'll come back to that in a second while Nina's sitting in the corner. Let's go to our new friend, Jacob.
00:07:44
Speaker
Jacob, do you want to firstly introduce yourself real quick, since this is the first time anybody's heard you on Roleplayers, and ah tell us who you're playing and what they're doing? Will do. My name is Jacob Webb.
00:07:55
Speaker
um If you listen to any of ah Cass's and Kimmy's shows, I've been on there a time or two. um well That's really about it. I'm a voice actor, etc, etc. um So I'm currently playing as ah the stark opposite of Darlin, a fella by the name of ah Darson McCornlark.
00:08:14
Speaker
Durson stands at a stout 5'4", yet his shoulders round out to about three feet. Said shoulders look beefed enough to tear apart a hardcover encyclopedia. He sports a beard gut, which is incredibly, in his mind, concealed with his black and white striped Adidas track coat. Well, it says Adidas, but it's spelled wrong. It's A-I-D-D-S-S.
00:08:39
Speaker
So it's a bootleg Adidas. Um, covering his nether regions is a folded kilt of standard coloring, you know, green and red and whatnot, um, of which still ah reveals the bottom half of his legs, uh, as a kilt tends to do. Those legs, of course, are obscenely yoked.
00:08:57
Speaker
He cradles a large, he cradles a large back. What's the plural of bagpipes? Just bagpipe or not plural, the opposite of the plural. was gonna say, the plural of bagpipes says bags pipes.
00:09:09
Speaker
I see, that that's funny. He cradles a large bagpipe in his hand, and blowing it into said instrument is a rather strange face. A very broad nose sits upon a very square face.
00:09:20
Speaker
His beady green eyes, of which look bloodshot and a little inane perhaps, look smaller due to his rather unkempt firetruck red beard. um Though if this is because of a lack of care or because of the explosion that killed him, it's it's hard to tell.
00:09:37
Speaker
Matching the color of his beard is his receding head of hair, ah kept mostly from going awry by a low-tied ponytail. His entire person, from his clothes to his beard, has a rather burnt appearance.
00:09:49
Speaker
The tip of his ponytail, one specific part of his bagpipes, um the hems of his kilt and tracksuit, they all seem to be alight and still smoldering. ah swaths of his person are covered in layers of soot that he cannot seem to clean off.
00:10:03
Speaker
And he is currently ah he is currently probably don't know, he's probably wigging out in the corner. he's He's probably like just vibrating with rage right now. He's like, what the fuck am I doing here, that little irony bastard? You know, ah probably probably ranting in his thick Scottish accent. and I love it. can you Can you say his last name is Durson?
00:10:24
Speaker
Durson McCoyn-Lahark. But you know what? That's kind of how I imagined
Exploring Time Jail Mechanics and Humorous Exchanges
00:10:29
Speaker
it. There's another detail you put on your character sheet that I was trying to imagine how it was pronounced too. And I don't know if we'll get to it. Oh, oh yeah. That that little.
00:10:38
Speaker
I'm going to be honest. I don't know how to pronounce it either. I kind of just, I kind just put a bunch of words that sound. I look at it as like, y bothsza ah yeah in valdega or like that.
00:10:49
Speaker
I don't know if it's like more Welsh or more i Scottish, but we'll get it. or I read it earlier and I found it to be quite fascinating. he um All right. So, Dorsen, he is in the corner kind of wigging out, raging a little bit. We've got Nina in the other corner, just kind of eating some Pop-Tarts. And we've got Darlin, who's walking around kind of feeling around for the the the edge of the case to figure out a way out of there.
00:11:15
Speaker
And then finally, yes, go ahead. Real quick, is there a place where I could post an image? i ah Drew, our little Scottish friend, at least a 20-minute sketch. Yeah, toss them in the chat.
00:11:27
Speaker
Toss them in the chat. Yeah, toss it in Discord if you want. ah You can throw it in like just... Yeah, in the fun installers. ahead and throw it somewhere in there. All right. Anywhere you choose. Just tell us where. Anywhere. Okay.
00:11:38
Speaker
Yeah, wherever you want. don't really care. um All right. And finally, we have um David. David, please introduce yourself to the world if they've they've never heard you in time, Joe, before. And who are you playing and what are they doing? ah Excuse me. Wow. I fucked that up. All right.
00:11:57
Speaker
all right I am playing a character named number six. Okay. He is a military research scientist. Okay.
00:12:09
Speaker
ah He is about five... six ish so he's about average male height right that's average right i think so yeah yeah okay so she's about five to six and he has uh he's basically just got like a military ah like high and tight haircut just like the most basic ass shit you can think of and he has a green or olive green uh lab coat on which is uh i feel like you know pretty pretty unique right like uh yeah it's usually they're white uh
00:12:42
Speaker
So yeah, i'm i'm I'm wondering, how do I get into time jail, Adam? How did i like do I just like a appear or something or like? Oh, you're asking like just like literally like what happened that you were there?
00:12:53
Speaker
Yeah. Can I just like because everyone's like already there. as we're describing our characters. Can I like role play entering time jail? Is that a thing? Oh, you want to be like, you just got there? Yeah.
00:13:04
Speaker
Oh, interesting. We've never done that before. ah Yeah. Okay, sure. I've that's I've never no one's ever asked me to do that. Sure. Like you literally just like you just show up. um Yeah. So, okay. Well, you know what? Let's start from that. I think that's kind of fun. So what would you say you were just doing before you got here?
00:13:24
Speaker
um I would say I was about to be killed by a fire gun to my face. You're about to be killed by a gun to the face.
00:13:37
Speaker
And then um before you, before, like, as you can hear, like, the bullet or like like the gunfire and little bit of smoke fires out and you hear the kuh-kuh-kuh-kuh-kuh-kuh.
00:13:49
Speaker
Like for a second, the you see the bullet clear as day right like at your face, right? And then the moment before it makes contact, like you just see it freeze and you're like stuck in like frozen time for a second.
00:14:02
Speaker
And then all of a sudden you see kind of like the outline of everything around you just starts to fade away. And then it's just covered in white as if somebody took like a big digital paintbrush and then just started painting it white.
00:14:14
Speaker
um And before you know it, nothing is in front of you anymore. Everything has been erased. And now all you see at your feet is a bullet drops at your at your shoes and you're in like a big white void with other people just sitting around in a corner or walking around tracing their fingers against nothing.
00:14:35
Speaker
um And you see those labyrinthian walls off in the distance. But that's what happened. Just looked like somebody just like painted over everything that you saw.
00:14:45
Speaker
So this is it, huh? He thinks he's dead.
00:14:51
Speaker
Hey. okay Okay, so you see Nina Sharky in the corner. ah So you guys all, you just got your new cellmate. You guys have, never like, you know, some of you guys may have gotten here before. i don't know who got here sooner, but you all just see a brand new person with David's description he gave to us standing there with, like, a bullet that just dropped at his feet.
00:15:13
Speaker
So feel free to start. You know what? I would say that Darlin probably would recognize this kind of stuff first. Darlin, how do you react to seeing a new cellmate showing up in your cell?
00:15:24
Speaker
So Darlin's going to hear the commotion, the bullet hit the ground, and she's going to turn and be like, well, that's a new development. No one's been in here for a while or been added like this. Where did you come from?
00:15:38
Speaker
Well, I came from the front.
00:15:44
Speaker
I don't know what those words mean. well I came from the war. ah What do you mean? i write Where are you from? are you not Specifically?
00:15:55
Speaker
Specifically? Never mind. What's important is we get out of here, okay? I've been trapped in this room. I have no idea what's going on with those two. Well, you're dead, aren't you? Aren't we all dead? We're not dead. we are not dead. There is no way anything could kill me. signed a contract for that. It's not happening.
00:16:14
Speaker
I've met a lot of soldiers who say the same thing as you.
00:16:21
Speaker
they you hear like ah You hear a dull thump, thump, thump as a Durson walks up, of a rather burnt short Scottish man. And he goes, I'm dead. Look at my fucking clothes.
00:16:34
Speaker
And you see the singes on his hands. I got blown up by a fucking IRA car bomb. Fucking friendly fire is what I call it. Oh, that's right. You did get blown up right before you came here. That's right. Shit. Yeah.
00:16:48
Speaker
He's covered in soot, and he tries to wipe it off his face feverishly, but it doesn't seem to come off. That's interesting that you're covered in soot, yet I was about to be shot, and he reaches down and picks up the bullet.
00:17:02
Speaker
It looks like it didn't actually make contact, and I don't have anything on my face. Do I? Yeah. Of course, I'm one who gets blown up, covered in fucking fire and shot.
00:17:13
Speaker
Hmm.
00:17:16
Speaker
Well, if we're not dead, then where are we? and don't know, but I need to find a way out of this box, okay? I don't like closed-in spaces, and I am way too important for this.
00:17:26
Speaker
So we need to find a way out, and you all need to help me get us out of here. There's these snail things that keep coming by and the gruel they serve is just... I don't know. i I was supposed to be in the presidential suite and I don't know why they put me in here.
00:17:46
Speaker
presidential suite. The lead pies are fun.
00:17:50
Speaker
You go back to your Pop-Tarts, dear. I don't even know what to do with you. Why would they put a child in here with us? Of all things, that's absurd. ah child? Ugh. i don't mean i don't I don't know what you're talking about. I was just... I shouldn't even be a person.
00:18:05
Speaker
and I am innocent. I plead the fifth on anything, and i wasn't there with whatever they got me with, so... It wasn't me.
00:18:16
Speaker
I'm pretty sure that you were stealing something, and I was trying to stop you, and then we both ended up here. i don't know you, child.
00:18:27
Speaker
Yeah, well, i that was the point. I was following you and you didn't see me, but I saw you steal that and I was trying to stop you, but it just as I was going to drag, like, you know, tug on your jacket.
00:18:42
Speaker
We ended up here. Well, I don't like you being touched by strangers, okay? And I don't know why you were following me You know, I was just signing a legal document and, you know, conducting a business deal when all of a sudden I wound up in this room with them.
00:19:01
Speaker
don't know what you're talking about, No, you were stealing something. i would never steal anything. I'm innocent of all things. don't steal from other people.
00:19:14
Speaker
Excuse me, you're taking this child's side. ah don't even know me. it told you ted I told you, told you. ted Your name's Ted?
00:19:27
Speaker
No, my stuffy is. Oh, let me see. It speaks. Let me see your stuffy. Let me see your stuffy. You cannot, no, you can't see my stuffy. I don't trust you.
00:19:42
Speaker
Oh, okay. He kind of like, he kind of like turns around and kicks the floor and and starts walking away all dejected. Yeah, he's, he's sulking. While you guys are having this conversation, ah three of you here are familiar kind of sloshing heading towards you as you hear like, you know, one of those snail guys that has brought you trays of just goop before.
00:20:04
Speaker
um And he's just kind of singing his little tune. He's like, oh stuff but time for mud. It's time for everybody's mud. And you see like this real slow, three foot tall, like, you know, blue jacket wearing snail guy ah standing upright. He has a little tray of mud in his hands and he's kind of approaching yourself.
00:20:22
Speaker
And he reached out and he goes, oh, we got a new guy. Want some mud?
00:20:28
Speaker
I don't see how mud will help me. But yes, I'll take some. Oh, it's delicious. I made it myself.
00:20:37
Speaker
How do you make it? What do you use? It's my secret recipe, but I'll give you a hint. It involves me running on a treadmill really slowly for a long time.
00:20:48
Speaker
Can you show us the treadmills? Yeah, sure. I guess I could show you at some point, but not before. You have to eat first because you got a carb load before you go running. I'm full of carbohydrates. He ah he pats his ah belly.
00:21:02
Speaker
I don't need anything. Oh, I thought you were pregnant.
00:21:08
Speaker
Durson nearly pulls out a shotgun.
00:21:14
Speaker
You know, I don't know why we always lock you guys in there with your weapons. I've been saying we shouldn't do that. You're lucky I haven't shot you from here. And then he like, like, like sort of struts up a little bit and, and, and you see, I could have, I could have done that, you know, and I don't have to eat this, this fucking muddy shit.
00:21:31
Speaker
Tell me where's the real food. This is, what are you talking about? This is the real, he like, he, he pushed, you see like, as like he, the tray comes in contact with like, where you know the barrier of the wall is, the tray just comes straight through like it always does. And he drops it to the ground.
00:21:48
Speaker
He says, that is the food. Like, i want but it's like high quality stuff here. This is like the, I don't know. um Like Queens eat this stuff. Right, queens have kidnapped before, I'm certain. I've met queens.
00:22:02
Speaker
Yes, I've met queens and they don't need this. Yes. um What was your name again? It was like Melvin or something, you know, Martian. I i don't know. The Circus, it's Marian.
00:22:13
Speaker
Marian's in. Oh, Marian, yes. Okay, well, look, I'm not supposed to be in here. I'm the emissary for the king of Antarctica, so I am...
00:22:25
Speaker
you know, supposed to be elsewhere doing things right now. if you could just please let me out. I'm in Antarctica.
00:22:36
Speaker
You know what? you know what Go ahead and roll a manipulate.
Escape Attempts and Musical Manipulations
00:22:41
Speaker
I thought you were going to say it's actually true. that's totally I don't know if anything this woman says is true.
00:22:49
Speaker
All right. It was seven plus two. oh All right. um Oh, did it not add your modifier in already? don't know. Either way, it's a mixed success. So a mixed success is just they'll let you out, but only if you show them you really mean it so you're going have to like really find a way to like kind of no prove to marion that what you're saying is true first it to me and like why would i lie i am you know innocent i mean obviously do i look like i belong in here look at all the rest of them obviously i belong elsewhere so you see i do have a pretty sport coat and i have plenty more back at my you know wonderful abode you know my beautiful manna
00:23:30
Speaker
that looks over the ocean and surrounded by ice and everything, you know? I mean, you should come and visit sometime. you know, I think I have something that would look perfect on you and you would just look wonderful. I haven't changed my shirt since I was born, it'd be nice to have some new clothes.
00:23:44
Speaker
I mean, and think of how great you would look in a sports coat like this. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, okay, well, you know what? Mistakes happen. I can let you out, but just you have to keep these other guys from getting out.
00:23:56
Speaker
Oh, that's fine. That's fine. I don't care about them, honestly. Durston tackles her. Oh, shit. Hey, hey, kids, kids, please, please. There's a child in there with you. A human child. I'm not tackling the child. i'm tackling the bitch.
00:24:15
Speaker
There's a different... All right. Hey, listen. He like puts his hands on the wall and like you just see like a shimmering effect hits like it turns into like this kind of rainbow camouflage looking color. And it is like you see just like it shuts off and he walks through. He goes, all right, now, come on, come on. And he like puts his hands on you guys like, all right, everybody just settle down.
00:24:34
Speaker
Can Dursun bolt towards the shimmering wall? Absolutely. It's gone now. yeah i think you're even, you know, even the dullest of flames can recognize that he just turned off the wall. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's he's probably going to actually snatch the child and run out of the wall.
00:24:49
Speaker
If he know doesn't. Oh my goodness, he's kidnapping that poor child. oh shit. he's Nina, he's grabbing hold of you.
00:25:00
Speaker
Help! As soon as he's on the other side of the wall, he's going drop her. Alright, so he runs to the wall like like she's a football, then drops her on the other end. Yeah. Hey!
00:25:13
Speaker
You're on the other outside of the wall now. You're welcome. Um, maybe i liked it in there. Dursin just gives her a blank stare.
00:25:26
Speaker
um She looks back at Ted and goes, I know. i catch i mean, felt like I was a shark in a tank, just like you would be in you know, like a zoo. And so it just, I'm very confused right now.
00:25:39
Speaker
Isn't he? and those mud tarts you're eating?
00:25:44
Speaker
No, what they're pop tarts. They're so weird. Uh, like you've been here before. Yes, maybe. don't know.
00:25:55
Speaker
Like, yes. i don't know how I keep getting into this situation. but Hey, you want to come eat some mud? No, I already made you like so many like mud pies and like mud sculptures.
00:26:10
Speaker
And like, I made a sculpture of you with mud. in there like it's over there can see it he looks over and sees it goes hey handsome uh and just goes and just like starts talking to his own little mud tower like hey what are you doing in here you're supposed to be working you're not supposed to do it she looks at the other people in there and she's like okay you can like you know like nudging her head like out like come on no you want to get out not one arm they can yell great
00:26:43
Speaker
She's a kid. i want not purpleman yeah What's number six doing while ah this kerfuffle is going on and the door comes down? ah Walking out.
00:26:54
Speaker
Just strolling out easily. Collecting data on all these people. Everything that's going on here. Okay. Are you investigating anything else? Is there any other Not yet. We're saving up. We're going to have a, we're going to try to get a big fat bonus on a, uh, investigate a mystery or read a bad situation. pick real quick before I forget, do any of you have a move on your character sheet that says like at the beginning of mystery, roll this.
00:27:19
Speaker
Cause I always forget to check that. I do not. Okay. I don't, I don't think anybody does, but i just want to make sure. Cause I forget to do that sometimes. yeah I probably picked like one of the worst like playbooks for this. I picked celebrity.
00:27:31
Speaker
Oh, I know. I just know i think it's fantastic. Just wait. I have, I already got an idea based off reading your description. Don't you worry. yeah That's why time jail so great. Cause anything can happen here.
00:27:45
Speaker
um Literally. i love You're about to find out here in a second. So while you guys are kind of escaping, uh, darling, you got tackled and then the Scottish guy got up and ran out with a child for a minute.
00:27:55
Speaker
um So um what do you do now that you see the wall is down that people are walking out? ah So dar ah Darlin is there with Marianne she's like, you know, brushing herself off and she's standing up and was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that man assaulted me.
00:28:10
Speaker
You should just go get him right now and lock him back up. And, you know, I'll follow you to make my statement and everything, you know, as the victim in the case, you know, I've got your back.
00:28:23
Speaker
You know, he just unprompted tackled me. I know. How vicious. Me and my new friend here, we'll go take care of it. Come on, Marion. And he starts walking like a couple inches and turns around. He's like, come on. Don't be shy. It's your first day. Come on.
00:28:36
Speaker
Stay, Fred. ha I had it my first day, too. He's like, right, we're just going to leave this guy here for now. We'll come back for him. and Yes, you know, he can be here and if if anybody, you know, comes back in or anything and Darlene is going to take Marion's hand and walk with him. He walks so slow.
00:28:52
Speaker
He's so slow. He has no legs. He just takes like one strike in the heels and then pauses and waits for him to catch up. like It's like half strike. It's like when you have to kneel down kind of awkwardly to hold your little like toddler's hand like when you're walking.
00:29:06
Speaker
And like you just have you can only go as fast as they go. it Yeah. She's got like three-inch stilettos on, so she's got, you know... He's just like happy as a clam, just like holding on your hand like had his hand. His hand's like nice and warm too.
00:29:20
Speaker
um well this is This is actually kind of nice. Yeah, it's not. Contact. um And so while you're doing that, you all of a sudden you hear very faintly. And I think that J – excuse me, that – what's his name? Durlin? Durson.
00:29:37
Speaker
Durson, excuse me. Durson would would probably clock this first. But you hear like a very faint, very familiar sound so far off in the distance of like a mee,
00:29:50
Speaker
And it's not like, you know, that sound anywhere. That's somebody playing a bagpipe um somewhere way off in the distance. And then you so you see out of nowhere, Marion's eyes. yeah He has like his big kind of stocky eyes that stick up off his head.
00:30:05
Speaker
They just like gloss over and you see they're just kind of like It's very strange sight. You see like these two stalks on his head just turn completely black, and he just lets go of Darlin's hand and just starts very slowly kind of just like going towards that direction.
00:30:21
Speaker
And then you see out of nowhere, like... Throughout these labyrinthian walls, these little kind of holes open up in the walls and you see more Marians that look just like this one start to do the same thing.
00:30:33
Speaker
ah Their eyes like are all blackened and they're just like very slowly kind of zombie-like just going towards this sound. And before you know it, You see almost ninja speed, ninja-like, these kind of brown and black kind of like flashes.
00:30:48
Speaker
um And you see like these kind of wooden-looking kind of puppets with string, like little marionette strings, grabbing a hold of the Marions and then just like jumping them forward towards that noise.
00:31:00
Speaker
One extra vein appears in Durson's eye um as he ah he he's looking on. And he's he's probably going to he's probably going to like look at his bagpipes.
00:31:11
Speaker
And he's going to like like put them to his mouth. And could he replicate the tune? You know what? I think maybe you could. Maybe, we you know what? Why don't we call that a... Hmm.
00:31:24
Speaker
and Unless you have any particular skills that pertain to your bagpipes. But let's call it... um
00:31:31
Speaker
Uh, you know, let's just have you roll. Let's call it a sharp roll. Let's just have you roll plus sharp to see like if you're kind of picking up on like what this tune is to see if you can replicate it. I was going to say maybe scream queen because when you make a commotion roll or should I just do the sharp?
00:31:48
Speaker
Actually, I'm cool with the sharp. You know what? You know what? You know what? That works. You know what you want to do? My sharp is higher, so that's what I'll do. OK, sure, yeah. Let's call it just so see you can pick up on what's what's being played.
00:31:59
Speaker
You rolled an eight. OK, so with an eight, well'll that's a mixed success. And we'll call that like as you start, like it's not perfect. And it like yeah yeah know takes a few kind of tries to even kind of catch the same tune.
00:32:11
Speaker
ah You're accompanying it quite well, though. ah realizes there is a hole in his bagpipes from yeah yeah on the explosion. and um And you see the Marion that's closest to you his eyes turn back to the normal kind of shape and color.
00:32:28
Speaker
And he his like his like little stocky eyeballs are turning to and fro. And he quickly riches up and grabs a hold of Darlin's hand again. He's like, so anyway, yeah, let's go. Let's go. Take your statement. um As you see, all the rest are still like slowly kind of get the ones that are farther away from you or like going towards that sound. And you see more and just for a quick moment, Dorsen, you see a wooden guy shows up almost Pinocchio looking like just shows up out of nowhere. He like ninja smokes in front of you and he says, uh, wrong guy, sorry.
00:33:01
Speaker
And then um he goes and he grabs the mud Marion in your cell and jumps away with it. me Let's go. We have acquired a Marion.
00:33:12
Speaker
So ah that's what happens to you. So while you're playing, you unhypnotize the Marion closest to you. ah Nina, what do you do? You're outside of the cell. You see this happening. You see Marion start to try to run away and then comes back, grabs Darlin's hand.
00:33:27
Speaker
And you see these like wooden guys just grabbing Marion's and jumping away with them towards this noise. You guys now also hear this noise and you hear it even louder because Durson's trying to replicate it.
00:33:39
Speaker
She looks at Ted and goes, okay, now we got figure out a way to get out of here. How did we get out of here last time? I don't even remember either. Okay.
00:33:50
Speaker
Let's see. There's got to be an exit sign around here somewhere. Cause obviously these adults don't know what's going on right now. Adults, man. I know, right?
00:34:01
Speaker
Number six is going to kneel down and next to her. Wait, so you've, you've been here before. She like looks at him from the side of her eyes. She's just like, yeah.
00:34:14
Speaker
You don't remember how you got out? No, I just remember like being here and then like being home. It was like the weirdest thing.
00:34:26
Speaker
So you remember being in here and then he got home and now you're back here. Yeah, but it wasn't like, i mean, was like a couple of weeks ago when this happened and I just, I don't know how I keep ending up in these situations.
00:34:43
Speaker
Well, I think it's safe to say that at least we're not dead. Oh, yeah. no No, no, definitely not dead. No, no, no. See that lady that was that's walking with that guy over there? She was shoplifting at some... I was at the aquarium, okay? And I was like, learning about sharks. And do you want to hear about sharks? I've got lots about sharks. She pulls out a tape recorder out of like her little zippy part of and...
00:35:08
Speaker
And she's like fumbling around with this tape recorder. And like she'll like hit rewind and press play. she's like, and the great white shark has many teeth. Look at those teeth, Ted.
00:35:23
Speaker
Yes, he does. see There's like, yeah, we were the aquarium, see? That's amazing. We could use that to, I don't want to Number six is internally going, he's trying to be a total asshole.
00:35:35
Speaker
yeah snatch that we want What number six wants to do is snatch it out of her hand and record the fucking bagpipes that are playing right now. Are you going to do that?
00:35:47
Speaker
ah no I don't think I don't think you would do that. You're showing restraint. Okay. Very good. Do you have another tape? We could use that to to record the bagpipes and we could ah you know basically manipulate these little snail guys anytime we want.
00:36:07
Speaker
Oh yeah, I've got lots of tapes. I've got lots and lots and lots of tapes because I always go to the aquarium and I'm always taking notes with myself. And then I saw that lady, she was in the gift shop and she was trying to steal something and I don't know what it was, but it looked really important. And so I went to tag on her little jacket and be like, excuse me, ma'am, that's very wrong. You shouldn't be stealing from the aquarium. This is my favorite place ever. And then I ended up here.
00:36:31
Speaker
All right. Yeah. Well, when she gets out, ah when we get out of here together, we're going to we're going to get her to the MPs and we'll court martial her. OK, court martialed and, you know, so she'll spend some time ah in jail more.
00:36:49
Speaker
Who this martial person? Oh, i the the what we're going to, she'll just, she'll get arrested, you know, and yeah. Oh, okay. So it's like a police person. Okay. Okay. Okay.
00:37:03
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Do you know any good police people? Because I know of lots of good police people because I'm always spending time by myself because my parents don't really like they're not really around very much.
00:37:14
Speaker
But like, always end up in the police yes what Yeah. Yeah. Yes, there's lots of your listen, you should know that you're not the only you're not the only one ah with either missing or otherwise parents.
00:37:32
Speaker
i You know, the war is just it's it's been a long war. let's taking ah taking a toll on everybody. i like good yeah you have a tape You have a tape you don't need. I'm going record it. I've got lots of tapes.
00:37:48
Speaker
Fact number 53. Sharks don't have bones. Give me your least favorite shark tape. Or your least favorite tape. I have new ones. You don't have to tape over my stuff. have new ones because I always have an extra stock because my mom and dad say that they always need to have enough stock on me so that I don't have to bug them all the time.
00:38:08
Speaker
Okay, well, you should record this. That way we can use it. Okay, what am I recording? ah This mess. The noise of the bagpipes. bagpipes. What?
00:38:19
Speaker
or whatever's going on. you say There's plenty of bagpipes going on right now because Durson's playing them very loudly near you in the cell. I'd imagine the conversation this is just being drowned out. He's like... mean yeah For the listener's sake, I'm not yelling. His face is starting to grow like tomato red because like the the other bagpipe tune is just constantly going, never stopping to breathe. So he hasn't breathed once yet. It's like inhuman. Uh... While this conversation is happening, Durson's playing his tune.
00:38:51
Speaker
Darlin, what's Darlin doing? Because, Mary, let's take in your hand again. So, Darlene walking Marion, and, you know, she's doing her slow stride keep up, and she's just in general conversation. So, what is it you do around here?
00:39:05
Speaker
You know, are there any fun rooms or anything of interest to see? You know, I kind of like to do a little tour, see if there's anything exciting here. figure with the quality of characters you get around here, there might be some interesting contraband.
00:39:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah, i love bands. um I don't know if I know the Contra band. um Yeah, sure. Yeah, we play instruments sometimes around here. you like music?
00:39:32
Speaker
ah Yes, music is wonderful. um You know, it's it's great. um Do you have any like a secret treasure room with instruments and other such items?
00:39:44
Speaker
Uh, sure. We have a sulfur room. You want to go see the sulfur? You kind no offense. I imagine maybe you work in the mines or something, like a sulfur office, but you kind of smell like sulfur.
00:39:56
Speaker
So I just think you'd want to go to the sulfur room. Do you have a shower around here? Because I'd rather not smell like sulfur. Thank you for telling me, though. I appreciate that. That's what a true friend would do.
00:40:07
Speaker
A true friend would tell somebody they smell like sulfur. I don't know why, but you smell like sulfur. oh Do you work in the software mines? No, I don't. I told you I'm an emissary for the king of Australia.
00:40:22
Speaker
and yeah
00:40:26
Speaker
thought it was the king of Canada.
00:40:33
Speaker
It's
00:40:37
Speaker
not Canada. ah um you're from down under? ah Yes, I am. Can't you tell by my accent? Oh, wow. That's what I, boy, sorry for the ignorant impression I just did. I thought that's what that sounded like.
Confrontations with Supernatural Forces
00:40:53
Speaker
I'm sorry. No, it's okay. There's some people that sound like that. I just don't because, you know, working for the king and being his emissary, you know, I have to sound proper all the time.
00:41:05
Speaker
you know, we have to acclimate to this sort of accent and, you know, voice so it just makes our lives easier when dealing with all the peoples of the worlds all cool i don't know what any of that means but you want to see the mud room um sure let's go see the mud room yes is that where you make all the food that's where we make the food it's where take a bath i mean it's where we do most things that doesn't involve watching prisoners
00:41:37
Speaker
Oh, I mean, is there anything, you know, fun you guys do here? You know, this place seems like a maze and... Oh, yeah. Sure, it must be easy to get lost in here.
00:41:48
Speaker
um yeah. You want to go to the stage? Sometimes you put it on plays... um Sure, let's go check out the stage. Sure, follow me. And he see he's like tries to pick up the speed and his little arm's like going really, really fast like he's jogging.
00:42:01
Speaker
And you can kind of take like a little bit more of a stride now. um As like he's moving, he's like, come on, try to keep up, slowpoke, let's go. Yep, definitely. I'm definitely going to keep up.
00:42:13
Speaker
And you see as you guys are walking, even just like a few more paces, you see like seemingly out of nowhere, you see like a giant wall appear down the way and you see it says stage area this way with a big old blinking red sign on it. Like blink, like blink, blink.
00:42:28
Speaker
oh Oh, does that light mean we shouldn't go in because they're recording something or, you know, I mean, I want interrupt. no No, red means go, Sally. Where are you Obviously not in a place where red means go.
00:42:42
Speaker
yeah. Well, red means go here, baby. Okay. So, um you know, she's going to call back. there If anybody wants to come to the stage, apparently red means go.
00:42:57
Speaker
You sound so upset about it. and All
00:43:02
Speaker
right. Durstan, you've been playing for a hot minute. Your darling yells back over your bagpipes like that it means go. um You you see realize that like after all that playing you've been doing, the only Marion that seems to be kind of staying intact is the one that's closest to you. Like you seem to have like broken that spell for him.
00:43:20
Speaker
um But all the other ones have gone and ah there's just It's just a wasteland out here now. There's just white void and just stone walls everywhere. i't i do I'd imagine that Durson is, ah he's like, he keeps playing and playing and then ah you eventually, ah you know he's tomato red and then ah and then he just runs out of breath and falls forward onto his bagpipes and they like, um as he as he tries to catch his breath.
00:43:47
Speaker
um But i'm I'm assuming number six from fucking kid codenamed Kid Next Door. for yeah Fuck, I cannot believe I couldn't say that. Anyways, I'm assuming he got the recording, so...
00:43:59
Speaker
We may use that later. Okay. So yeah. So yeah. we get not Number six. Number six. Are you and ah and Nina recording the music now that Derson stops playing his? Yeah. I mean, we got it. We got a recording.
00:44:11
Speaker
I think. Yeah, I'd say so. You know what? Just for funsies. Roll for me. Number six. ah Let's just have it be just a straight up weird roll.
00:44:23
Speaker
um Okay. It is a very weird thing going on I got a four. I'm a number four now. Nice. so Well, that's an experience point for number six. um ah Yeah, so like you got the recording. It sounds okay when you play it back, but like what you kind of hear is kind of just like a lot of clickety clacks in the background of like you kind of heard from the the little wooden guys that are running around and jumping around and grabbing people.
00:44:49
Speaker
You hear a lot of that like in the recording. So like, it's not completely clean, but it's enough that like you recognize it like it, you can hear it, but there is some interference from the lackeys that are kidnapping Marian's right now.
00:45:03
Speaker
um So what do you all do? You're all kind of together ish because darling is not getting that far holding Marian's hand. um What do you do?
00:45:16
Speaker
I want to read a bad snow. i want to investigate a mystery. you want to investigate something? right Give us a sharp roll there, my guy. I'm going to do a little sharp roll here.
00:45:27
Speaker
Oh man, I hope you sharp good. And I got a number six for number six. ah um And my guy just has a fucking stroke and dies. All right. so So yeah, the bullet gets like hotter in your pocket. Like as you, as you fuck that up.
00:45:43
Speaker
Um, and, uh, so you get another experience point. Uh, but you know what? Feel free to ask a question anyway. Um, if you want to pick one from the investigative mystery list, just for fun. Uh, what concealed here?
00:45:58
Speaker
What is being concealed here? Sorry, what is being concealed here? Yeah, sorry, my guy just hit a... You are drawn to... um You hear like... You have bat-like hearing all of a sudden, and you hear somewhere off in the distance, squish, squish, squish-quish squish, squish. squishquish um Somewhere off in the distance that like only you seem to be able to hear that like sounds like activity away from what's happening everywhere else.
00:46:27
Speaker
Must be my tinnitus acting up. Yeah. That gunman was pretty close. Yeah. Do you hear that, Nina? Do you that? I act on it?
00:46:41
Speaker
I'm acting on it. like I love it. you hear that squish sound? No, I was talking to Ted, but where where is it coming from?
00:46:53
Speaker
No, just listen. Only you can hear it. Only I can hear it still. Only you can hear it. I'm walking towards It sounds like it's coming from this way. And I'm going to go whatever direction it is.
00:47:06
Speaker
All right. don't know. it's like It's like if you're looking down towards where all the Marians went and the way that Darlin is walking with the other Marion, it would be like 90 degrees to the right of that, like off that way. So if if the if the road were a plus sign, it would be going to the right.
00:47:23
Speaker
So we're all everybody's getting split up now. All right, cool. that's up to you You don't have to follow anything. I'm just telling you what to hurt. going follow number six no matter what because like he's the only person that's really like interacted with her and she's a child. So she's just like, you know, I'm just going to follow the the adults that is being nice to me and not tossing me around like a football.
00:47:48
Speaker
Yeah. He had to play rugby, you know. Yeah, that's fair. That's a very fair assessment. um is So while you're following number six, Nina, is there any anything that Nina would like to do? Anything she would like to look at? Anything she would like to investigate? Any interaction she would like to have?
00:48:08
Speaker
Um, no, she's probably just talking number six's ear off. Just like, do you know that there's like, did you know that jellyfish cannot fart? I know it is the craziest thing.
00:48:20
Speaker
I thought that maybe just because, you know, like, because they do eat things, you know, like the little microorganisms in the ocean that maybe they had like some sort of like way fart, but they don't, they just have like the simplest of digestive systems. And so they, they don't, they don't do that.
00:48:36
Speaker
But isn't that so weird? so Yeah. ah Totally weird.
00:48:45
Speaker
Great. So as you guys are doing that, Dursin, you see they're going off to the right. You see Darlin is walking straight with ah with Marion. ah What are you doing now that you've fallen on your bagpipes and you caught your breath?
00:48:58
Speaker
So he's going to get up no worse for wear, at least no more worse for wear than he was before. And and yeah he's probably going to follow after number six. And then, you know, the 90 degree turn will come up and he's going to like look forward at at ah ah Darlin, look to number six. And like a puppy between two divorced spouses, he is going to run towards number six.
00:49:21
Speaker
Oh shit. More more like a scamper. yeah He doesn't like Darlin.
00:49:27
Speaker
Oh, shit. She tried to keep him in the jail, you know? Gotcha. That smells bad. Yeah, it smells like sulfur. Though that might be because of Durston tackling her. Who knows?
00:49:39
Speaker
It's fair. ah Okay. So you you head off as well. Is there anything that you would like to investigate or look for while you're trying to catch up with them? um Like, does you do you look for something? do you try to listen for something? Is there an interaction you would like to have?
00:49:53
Speaker
Like really, whatever you think your character would do, feel free to just kind of shout it out. I think he's going to have his bagpipes on. He's going like, like that, that tune was really weird. Like how, how it affected the, uh, uh, the, the Marians. He's going to see if he could figure out why the tune affected them.
00:50:10
Speaker
Maybe. Well, actually it would probably would have been a wiser idea to follow, uh, darling at that point, but oh, well, you know, ah that we, I've already chosen. Um, he's going to see possibly why, like maybe the frequency did it affect, uh, Marion. Okay. Okay.
00:50:23
Speaker
Um, all right. So why don't we, um, I'm trying to think if that would be investigate a mystery or read a bad situation. That's probably – you know what? I think it's probably investigate a mystery, which will be a sharp roll.
00:50:40
Speaker
So you can roll plus sharp and then depending on what you get, there are questions that you can ask that will allow you to kind of glean more information.
00:50:51
Speaker
Right, right. Yeah. Okay. Come on. Do that. yeah once a bull would turn and baby hell Yeah. So really smart for some fucking reason. I don't get it Investigate a mystery. So you can ask any of the following questions. I've opened it up on your character sheet for you If you want to take a look. So you get, you get two questions that you can ask ah to learn more information about what's going on for the audience. Those questions are what happened here?
00:51:15
Speaker
What sort of creature is it? What can it do? What can hurt it? Where did it go? What was it going to do? And what is being concealed here? I see. um Well, given what he was trying to do, he's probably going to ask what sort of creature it is. but Okay. going to be his first question. Yeah, i think that's a good question. So um you're like you you pick your bagpipes up, you start walking ah ah to follow up with ah number six and Nina, and ah you as you're as you're catching up and you're you' like you got that... that
00:51:48
Speaker
um that frequency in your head, that, that song, like you've been playing bagpipes for a hot minute. People love your music. Like you're a celebrity. People know your stuff.
00:51:59
Speaker
Like there's shit you can do that other people just can't do with a, with a set of bagpipes. um So even, even you, I would say, i don't want to speak for your character, but it's perplexing. I think for you to hear something that you yourself, one of the most proficient bagpipe players on planet fucking earth can't replicate.
00:52:17
Speaker
Makes that just sound like a saxophone. Yeah. yeah so so you that's very strange for you that you couldn't replicate that frequency and that that tune.
00:52:29
Speaker
And so you don't know why it hits you, but you you you get this smell of this sulfur stuck to your skin from when you tackled Darlin.
00:52:41
Speaker
And somehow two and two equals four. And you're like, I can't replicate it. This woman's reeks of sulfur. I think that's some sort of like demon bagpiper. That's too...
00:52:55
Speaker
Devilish bagpiper is playing because that's the only way that you couldn't replicate it is if it's a supernatural origin. And so you think something nefarious is playing that, like that is possessing people, which again, you saw Marian get possessed.
00:53:10
Speaker
I think it's not a far leap for you to assume maybe there's demons at play here. The devil didn't go down to Georgia. He went up to Scotland. No, he went to Scotland. And he's he's he's going to he's got to like just practice on his bagpipes for the the duel that he knows is going to be coming up. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
00:53:28
Speaker
Sorry. That's literally what i thought of. when when you ah When I was reading your character sheet, I was like, oh my God. And then when I was reading Darlin's character sheet, I was like, oh shit, I have an idea.
00:53:44
Speaker
um so um so you ah So, okay. If you would like, you can ask your second question or you can hold on to it, but remember that you have it.
00:53:55
Speaker
Okay. ah I'm going to hold on to it. Okay, sure. Just remember that you have it because I'll forget. yeah So you just have to remind me. um Okay. So you do that. You recognize you're kind of like tuning up the bagpipes. Maybe you're trying to patch that hole in there somewhere because you know you're about to do a devil went down to Georgia duel with a demon bagpiper at some point.
00:54:14
Speaker
Yeah. And ah yeah, it's happening. So you're doing that. So while you're practicing that, we cut over to Darlin. Darlin, it has taken so long and probably a lot of restraint for you to walk so slowly with Marion to approach the stage.
00:54:29
Speaker
um What are you doing? um She's trying not to show how frustrated she is at the moment in walking so slow because being, you know, who she is and what she does. She's used to walking into a place, storming in and getting what she wants, even though she is a liar and a con artist.
00:54:48
Speaker
But she's trying to play the long game and figure out whatever is doing. um but she's really worried about that sulfur smell and the fact that she can still hear people making comments about it so it's you know kind of irking her and she's like i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna take him out i'm going i'm going to murder him you're thinking about killing mar No, no, not Marion. Not Marion. Marion and probably Derson more.
00:55:14
Speaker
Oh, right. Okay. Gotcha. So, and Marion just like chatting you up a little bit as you walk. us and You know, it's just so nice to have someone other than another snail to hug and to hold on to. You know, I don't get a lot of friends around here that like don't already look like me. and Not that i like me or dislike me, but they all just abandoned me. They all left, you see?
00:55:32
Speaker
Oh, I'm not leaving you anywhere. I'm here with you. I told you that I am the emissary of Norway, you know, for the queen there. And, you know, obviously, i will only want to help you. Like, i mean, as so I have it i good contacts with the North Pole, you know, we're wonderful.
00:55:52
Speaker
Isn't Norway how Australians yeah express shock? They go, Norway, you did that? Yes. Yes. That is 100% look at you. You could fit in so well down there. Yes. under. Down under Norway. Yes. You know.
00:56:05
Speaker
you know you could fit in so well down there yeah down under under northris yes um you know So, okay, so here's the stage and like you finally arrive at this stage.
00:56:21
Speaker
Marion just like, let's go your hand. And he puts his hand down like where his knees would be. And he's just like, man, that was a, sorry, that was that was a longer walk than I thought it would be. Are you okay? Do you need some mud?
00:56:35
Speaker
No, I think I'm good right now. Look at you. You did so well. I'm so proud of you. my goodness. Yeah, um look at you go. Look, all that work on the treadmill has been paying off for you.
00:56:45
Speaker
Oh, man. I'm going to make so much mud later. um And you see you see like he's like kind of keeling over a little bit. He's like winded. He's breathing real heavily. His eye stalks are drooped a little bit.
00:56:56
Speaker
You're up at this stage, and then you hear that music kicks in again, that really loud bagpipe, just like this ephemeral, just this fucking – like you what you know.
00:57:07
Speaker
You know the closer you get to it, the more prevalent this feeling is. You know there's a fucking demon or a devil somewhere nearby you. um Or at least the presence of one. like just It is like washed over you like ah like a fucking... like did You walked into like ah like a ah a steam room.
00:57:24
Speaker
like You just you feel it crawling all over your skin. Does it feel familiar or no? Familiar in that you've worked with demonic presence, but not one that...
00:57:36
Speaker
Not one that I'm normally associated with. You know what? I don't know if you know them. you You might know of someone's work. i don't But you would have to see them to know if you know them. But you definitely know what is up. You know that someone just like played some sort of wicked spell, possessed all the things here, and like now has like little literal puppet lackeys fucking kidnapping people for so a reason you don't know. But you know that demons are at play here.
00:58:00
Speaker
Okay, so I'm, Marion, you catch your breath and, you know, take a breather. I'm going to walk around and accliment acclimate myself to the space. I just want to be more comfortable here, you know?
00:58:12
Speaker
I mean, since we're friends and all that, you can trust me completely. Sure, i just want to say that I really appreciate you, and like, you just, all of a sudden, he's not beside you anymore. all right. Well, that was interesting. So Darlin is going to walk around and she's going to try and look for this demonic presence and figure out where this demon is.
00:58:35
Speaker
Sure. Do you want to investigate a mystery, perhaps? I would love to investigate a mystery. Okay. Well, let's see how that mystery gets investigated. Wow, it's a big fat 10. Damn.
00:58:48
Speaker
um All right. So, yeah, feel free to ask up to two questions from the list of what you'd like to know. Okay, so I want to do what is being concealed here?
00:59:00
Speaker
oh excellent question. Very good. So um tell me real quick. You recently made a deal with with yeah devils or demons, right? Some sort of presence in you know from hell, yeah?
00:59:13
Speaker
Yes. She her you know fingers in the cookie jar and she tried to steal from a demon. They're like, no, no, no. Now you work for me. Gotcha. and And what do you recall right now is like your job that you have to do for them?
00:59:29
Speaker
ah My job that I have to do is to steal artifacts and other important things. And so I use my skills to get into places that I shouldn't.
00:59:39
Speaker
Love it. um So I'm going to say this, that like maybe you have this preternatural ability now that you have the stench of a demon on you ah and like that you work for them. that's how they That's how they know that you work for them. like If you go work with...
00:59:58
Speaker
In other areas where demons are working, they know that you are among their, like, you know, in their mind, the lowest of the tier, but you work for them now. Like, they know, like, oh, they can smell on you. Oh, you work for Dave.
01:00:10
Speaker
Right? So, like, so they... So you know you would know then that like certain residues are left behind. And you can see – like when you look back to where Marion disappeared from, like you see just like a very faint kind of – like when it gets gets really hot outside, and there's kind of like that kind of like rippling air.
01:00:29
Speaker
You can kind of see like the moisture in the air is getting so fucking hot. Like you can see just like a faint version of that on the ground from where Marion was picked up. And you recognize that there's a trail left behind there that you can actually follow it.
01:00:42
Speaker
OK, so can I hold my second question and start following the trail? overall Absolutely. Absolutely. um So, yeah, you can follow that trail as you do.
01:00:53
Speaker
Again, you hear that music. It feels like it's emanating from everywhere. But now that like you're focusing on this trail that's left behind from Marion being taken, you're recognizing that like the with every step I follow this trail, the music feels like now it's not sounding like it's coming from speakers all over the place. It sounds like it's coming from where you're walking towards.
01:01:14
Speaker
So like now you're able to block out all the other noise. It's no longer hidden. You figured out where it is. Okay. So she's just going to follow it and make sure she gets closer and figures out what demon or devil is playing this music and controlling all the Marians.
01:01:30
Speaker
Gotcha. Love it. Uh, okay. So while you're following that, we jump back over to the other three. Uh, so we've got Dursin following behind Nina and number six, number six, we'll go back to you first.
Strategies and Battles with Puppets and Demons
01:01:42
Speaker
You are acting on hearing the noise of squishing, um, off to the right side of the path.
01:01:49
Speaker
Um, What would you like to do?
01:01:53
Speaker
I'm going to try to get ah Nina to, you know, ah quiet down a little bit so I can hear her. Okay. I'm go just going just go, I need to, I need to listen for a second. All right. Let's just, there's something up ahead and I'm going to just try to like get a fucking pinpoint ah location on that motherfucker.
01:02:17
Speaker
OK, yeah, you you hear squish, squish, squish, squish. squish And then you come up to like this, like, um this like small square ah made of these, like the same kind of stone walls that you've been seeing popping up everywhere.
01:02:33
Speaker
and You see there's a little hole, like a little window about like probably three feet from the ground up um and If you peer inside, you can see that there is a couple of Marians in this large bubbling pit of mud just like rolling around in it.
01:02:53
Speaker
and you see that there is one of those puppets hanging out in there with them. They look like they're just shooting the shit, just talking. And you hear like clack, clack, clack, clack squish, squish, squish, clack, clack, clack, as this thing is like talking to them. You can't quite hear what they're saying yet, but you see so off in this room is like a big fat pit of bubbling mud that they're hanging out in.
01:03:14
Speaker
And there's a puppet that you've seen just kidnapped Ickmerians before. Okay, I'm gonna get out my um my gun. ah Shit, which is a um now okay, listen, this is a it's it's called a portable particle accelerator.
01:03:31
Speaker
Love it. that's Okay. So I'm going to, you know, make a little gesture to my companions. And I'm gonna pull this thing out unfold it.
01:03:45
Speaker
Oh, shit. The batteries in well really quietly. and And just stick it right on the, just aim it right like on the window or whatever. Okay. And try to get that fucking marionette.
01:03:57
Speaker
I just feel like that's, I feel like that's who's in control. He said it, he said it. It's a marionette. Yeah, exactly. So you, uh, yeah. So I guess that'd be kick some ass, right?
01:04:11
Speaker
You're just trying to blast that mofo? Yes. And because of my ah my focus, my research or area of research, which is violence, I can use plus sharp to roll kick some ass. I love that that's your area of research.
01:04:26
Speaker
ah Okay, so roll plus sharp to kick some ass against this thing. Kick some ass with sharp. Yeah, make it a sharp. Let's see how and that goes. I got a seven. got seven to some number seven. You know what? A seven's still good because like there's like ah typically if you get a mixed success, you're going to usually exchange damage, right?
01:04:47
Speaker
But this thing don't know you're about to fucking shoot it in the face. So like I don't really see how that could happen. So I think you're still good. take a Take a page out Helldivers. Maybe it explodes or something. That's yeah the railgun. I still think that's more than enough. So how much damage does your particle accelerator do? ah Three, but i but I think it does... Yeah, it'll do plus one harm. So it'll do four harm.
01:05:10
Speaker
Jesus, okay. You sniped this thing. like What does the beam look like? Does it it like a beam is it like does it shoot like a of something? like a oh no like What does it look like? it it is This thing erupts from the gun like faster than the speed of light or whatever. Close to the speed of light, sorry.
01:05:26
Speaker
Sure. ah And you don't see anything. It just... It's like a railfan. You just hear loud bang. oh Yes, you just hear a loud bang and... and Fantastic. It is it is at its destination.
01:05:38
Speaker
And like, yeah. So like, there's a hole in the back wall, like where like this thing explodes through. This puppet is just like fucking shrapnel, like in the tub.
01:05:49
Speaker
um It had no chance. So like, yeah you blast this thing straight in the fucking dome and it's just like in pieces. And you see just like the, one of the Americans right now, Oh, i got a sliver in my eye.
01:06:02
Speaker
Oh God. Oh God. I thought they would disable the rest of them. Well, there's two, mayor they're just married. They're just hanging out. They're just, they were literally just paddling around with this thing. Like he their eyes looked normal.
01:06:16
Speaker
They were just hanging out with it. la And you shot it in the face. so You killed it. And they're just, the Marians are just like, oh shit, our friend is dead. ah So, yeah. So, Derson, you see number six just blast the hole through this thing's face. It's dead in there. You peer through. You see the Marians reacting. You can hear them screaming in the hot tub area. What do you do?
01:06:44
Speaker
Uh-huh. Uh, well, he's probably just gonna be stunned for a sec. like Like, he's like, I guess his immediate assumption is gonna be that, that number six killed the devil he was gonna duel. So he's just gonna like, so he's just gonna be like, like all dejected. He's like, man. And then he's yeah kicking him around. It's like, there weren't devils about.
01:07:08
Speaker
and and he ah he's he's go to he's actually going to probably turn to number six and say, what the fuck did you just kill? ah Well, it was some kind of like wooden a marionette thing.
01:07:21
Speaker
Yeah. yeah And I don't know. It just didn't seem right. So I decided, ah you know, it's better to act first and not give it the opportunity to respond.
01:07:32
Speaker
And, you know, just we just take them out. Hmm. There's some, like, nods. I'd say it's a half nod of solitude and a half nod of, like, ah what's the term?
01:07:44
Speaker
Not pride, but, like, ah agreement, maybe. Sure. Hey, the best way to go about it. Lord knows I was in the War of Yenbaldunach. I've never heard of that war. There were about seven or seven or eight people that fought in it.
01:08:01
Speaker
ah Let's see. Seven or eight people that fought in her. That's how wars often once went in the ah European nations. You know, like ah but like, you hear about the wars in China.
01:08:14
Speaker
they they always ah They always tend to have, at least in history, millions of people fighting each other. How it really went in Europe is- Did you just say Europe and China? Aye. They- Wait, what?
01:08:28
Speaker
They haven't existed for, I don't know, 500 years? The fuck are you talking about? That's where I came from. Oh, sh- Okay. There's some really weird shit going on. We are in time jail, so... Oh, are we? Oh, this a time jail, okay. I love that in your world, Europe and China don't exist anymore. Yeah, it's fucking great. Yeah, neither does Australia. don't know how you could be king of a nation that hasn't existed for, you know, 600 years now. He's lying. And then in Durstan's world, wars are fought by eight people.
01:09:07
Speaker
well yeah that's That's how it would always go in you know European war. At least like days gone past. It's like King and Valdanac has grabbed 17 people and they're s sieging a castle. 17 years, zero dead. You know what I mean? like like like feel like every every month they show up and just like egg a castle and then they run away. They're like, oh, we're a massive for 17 Yeah, literally. Get away!
01:09:33
Speaker
Stuart comes out with a fucking broom like, get out of here, you dumb idiots! Except in Poland, those fuckers got annihilated multiple times. Oh my god, I'm dead. You still got me seven or eight people. five Seven or eight What is Nina doing? Nina witnesses, because you're about as tall as like, yeah're maybe a little shorter than the average Marion, but like ah you can see up through that window, like just number six just blasted something. And then you hear the Marion screaming and then he's talking to Durson. Like, what does Nina do?
01:10:15
Speaker
So she's going to look at Ted with like the cartoon eyes, you know, the and that look like they're about to cry. Puss in Boots. Oh my God. Did i just follow the wrong adult and I'm going to be murdered?
01:10:35
Speaker
Ted, what are we going to do? How do we get out of here? but Do I see this? ah I don't know. Nina, are you whispering it? Am I deaf, actually? I don't even know.
01:10:47
Speaker
Well, it is a probably a very loud gun, given that it's you'll mock like 18 or however fast the speed of light is. I mean, you probably, i don't know if you hear all the things she's saying, because you're like you're talking and you shot a gun, but you probably can at least see that like her eyes are like big old cartoony sad right now.
01:11:03
Speaker
no it's okay It's okay. I got the but i got the bad guy. I think I got the bad guy. So, hey, kill the devil. They were my friends and they were so nice, even though they just fed me mud and they the little slug guys.
01:11:23
Speaker
Oh, OK. OK, they're OK. The bagpipes loud over the other Marion. get here
01:11:33
Speaker
I just took out kind of like wooden, wooden guy. You don't know anything about that, right? ah What? Yeah, it was like just a creepy wooden figure.
01:11:45
Speaker
I just didn't trust it, so I... Yeah, I should have probably talked to you first. Wait, do you shoot things you don't trust? Do you trust me? i trust you. I trust... I mean, you guys at least look so vehement.
01:11:58
Speaker
Goddammit.
01:12:00
Speaker
it's just where I come from. um You normally don't get a second chance. So she had decided ah decided I decided to act in what I thought would be our best interest. And, you know, I guess I apologize for that.
01:12:13
Speaker
But ah as you guys are talking, and Nina, all of a sudden you're about like 30 feet up in the air and everybody that you were just talking to looks like ants.
01:12:25
Speaker
And you have like little like you have like wooden arms wrapped around you and you're bouncing off of like these giant walls like naruto ninja style like um and you've been grabbed and are being run away from who you were just talking to the child's been kidnapped number six oh god what the oh shit because you killed him do we see a body attached to the wooden arms Do you see a bot? yeah i Yes, it's a full it's a full puppet that's like grabbed her and like darted off with her like up into the air. like can
01:13:00
Speaker
It jumps like a goddamn supernatural kangaroo. It's just like, doop, doop, doop, doop. And yeah, so Nina, you are currently like just blazing fast, just like within seconds. like you just These guys are just out of your line of sight.
01:13:15
Speaker
They're like jumping between these giant walls, taking towards where the music is getting louder. um What do you do? She's prepared for this. because she has um a move that's called power snack that gives her a plus one forward. And since she was already eating her pop tarts, that is her power snack. She also has wallop and she's got like random, like heavy stuff that's in her Ted because Ted is, you know, he's kind of like a backpack.
01:13:46
Speaker
So she's got like her set of walkie talkies and she's got extra snacks and she's got extra batteries and she's got extra. batter ah Yeah, and then of course she's got like seashells and shiny rocks that she's, you know, collected throughout the years. So she's going to use her um move Wallop and try to Wallop this guy in the head with her Ted.
01:14:10
Speaker
You're going to hit him with your Ted. Yeah. Okay. Is Wallop a kick some ass move or is it a different ah role that you do? It is...
01:14:21
Speaker
um When you use an improvised weapon to attack. So it still kicks some ass. You just get different extra moves that you can do. um I can use an improvised weapon to attack something. not just So it would still be kick some ass. And then you get to pick one of these effects that you have on your list here.
01:14:38
Speaker
And then depending on how it rolls, pick what you want it to do. All right. That'll be plus tough for kick some ass. I don't know why it doesn't. Okay, there but we go. You got an eight. um So you can choose to inflict one more harm, but the improvised weapon breaks. You can momentarily stun them with a blow to the head or a trip or entangle them.
01:14:58
Speaker
She's going to momentarily stun them to the blow to the head. Uh, okay. You whop him, ah this thing, you bring your backpack up, you whap him in the head.
01:15:09
Speaker
ah This thing goes, oh no! um And then like kind of lets you go and you go falling towards the ground. um ah Because he was at mid jump. So you fall probably like 10 feet as he was coming down to do another jump.
01:15:25
Speaker
um That's just going to be one harm. You're going to scrape your knee. You're going to get a little owie. Yeah. You're going to get a little owie when you fall. um And ah this thing like... Yeah, exactly. Wait, wait, wait. couldn't... So we could not keep up with this thing at all.
01:15:43
Speaker
No, not at the rate that that it took her. It was like crazy fast. um But you hear probably like... kind of like in that movie um ah Meet the Robinsons where like the robot, like the legs get all tall and he's all like trucking through carrying him.
01:16:01
Speaker
i Kind of, but like it's it's more so like think about – just imagine that like when this thing was jumping around grabbing you that it was so fast that really the only thing that the other guys could maybe see is like its arms and its head because the lower half of its body is like a blur because it's just moving that fast.
01:16:20
Speaker
um So like it's almost incorporeal with how quickly it was moving. um Again, as Dursin and Darlin would know – these are like supernatural things that are happening. They're not just like, you know, they're not, this isn't a normal thing.
01:16:34
Speaker
Um, so no, but yes, but you do hear off in distance, clack, clack, clack. Oh no. Um, and then you hear like a little girl going, ah, ah.
01:16:45
Speaker
So while that's going on real quick, uh, let's jump back to darling. Darling, you are currently investigating the noise of, uh, and the trail of a left of that was left behind by a, uh,
01:16:57
Speaker
by a kidnapped Marion. um So what does that look like as you get closer to what you're doing? So Darlene is just, you know she's cautiously following that trail that she can see.
01:17:13
Speaker
And it's the music's getting louder and louder and she realizes she's right there. um She's going to see if she can recognize who the demon is when she spots them or see if she can convince them to just leave everyone alone and just go.
01:17:29
Speaker
ah Sure. Yeah. You – as you come around, funny enough, you come through the back end of the stage area. um And as you kind of peer through, you see like there's just a bunch of holes in the wall that like these things have been jumping through with Mary. And some of them have like Kool-Aid Man-esque like eye stock cartoon imprints in the wall.
01:17:51
Speaker
And you see that standing – uh, all in like a single file line. That's kind of like zigzagging through this whole big room up towards the back end of the stage.
01:18:02
Speaker
You see that there is like this kind of tall, slender, dark haired looking kind of figure, like very pale skin, um, kind of like gaunt face, like kind of sunken eyeballs.
01:18:14
Speaker
Um, And like he's holding a set of bagpipes um and he just he kind of looks like your average looking Joe, just like a tall, slender, like sunken looking guy.
01:18:25
Speaker
But like you can just feel that stench like emanating from him as he has these bagpipes in his hand. um And you see all the Marians are standing there and you overhear him saying, oh, it sounds like a gal. And um and ah
01:18:46
Speaker
even let's cray join what was that? do that again it says i gotta get a little galony
01:18:55
Speaker
dead okay it's so fucking numbing to you know ah So you hear him kind of yelling out and he's saying a lot more kind of broken English Gaelic kind of like hybrid shit into this crowd of people. And you see there's probably at least a dozen marionettes standing there ah with like the strings above their heads.
01:19:18
Speaker
And as he kind of like moves to and fro, they kind of follow his movement. um And then the one goes, oh, what do we do now, boss? um And they all like, then you just hear like a whole just, just a cacophony of, what do we do now, boss?
01:19:31
Speaker
What do we do now, boss? um And I would say you recognize this as Jeff Estoffelees.
01:19:39
Speaker
jefffu Okay. So she's going to stand up straight and like, you know, straighten out her jacket. Like her shoulders are back, you know, her poise and confidence. And she's going to storm in and storm up to him and be like, listen, Jonathan, you weren't supposed to be here. This was my job. So I don't know why you're storming into the place and taking over my stuff.
01:19:57
Speaker
ah hitra fakaio first i a cheeroffy Yes, well, keep rambling all you want. Nobody could understand you down there either. All right. So this was supposed to be my job, and I don't know why you're getting involved. You don't even work for the same man I do.
01:20:14
Speaker
I don't even what I'm fucking working for. Hang on. Who said this at? Who is that? you you like Michael Elligan. Michael Elligan. Okay. Goodness.
01:20:25
Speaker
You've for a Michael. fucking. What a twat. I'm for years. Well, obviously he's better than you because he, you know, had me come in here and you're just creating a scene and ruining everything. Trust me, I've read the text.
01:20:39
Speaker
No, no, hang on. No, no. and this What else have I changed? It's just a fair, just an organics tea. and No, this was not your job, okay? I am going to, you know what? I am i'm completely going to jump and, you know, I'm going to your boss's boss's boss's boss, all right? Because I am not going to have this. You are not going to do this here.
01:21:00
Speaker
You are not going to interrupt my job and steal my thunder, okay? That's just very rude. It's not about your job. It's not your job. It's a different from my job. I'm just fucking... is it about the organic ter of baba yaga Well, I don't know what it is, whatever you're saying, because honestly, I'm barely listening to you um because I'm way more important than you.
01:21:20
Speaker
I mean, look at you, you come in here with these bagpipes. Who likes bagpipe music? No one, okay? Only hooligans play the bagpipes. So you just need to clean up and get out of here because you're ruining my job. I have a good thing going.
01:21:36
Speaker
So I don't need your interference, sir. You know what? If you want to give it a, manipulate someone just to kind of see if you can sway him one way or the other, we can do that. We can give it a shot.
01:21:47
Speaker
um Nine, that's not too bad. It's pretty good. A niner. um He says... Look, just listen, okay? All right?
01:21:58
Speaker
I'm going to try to speak your language for a second. um This is really difficult for me. So, sorry if if my English isn't as good, right?
01:22:09
Speaker
but You need to get Tifuk the fuck out of here because I am just here to get all these little squishy bowls to a nice scientist lady's house to experiment.
01:22:22
Speaker
You can have all the trinkets here that you want, lady. I'm not trying to piss off Mike. I just have other stuff I'm trying to do here, right? Okay, but why do you have to interfere with my job at the same time?
01:22:34
Speaker
Go take whatever you want, man. You're the artifact lady, right? Just go get what you want. I'm just taking the squishies. But I mean, that's fine. But can I have the one? He was kind of friendly and actually kind of liked him. You know, he's kind cute.
01:22:46
Speaker
my Really? What? He was sweet. Come on now. Are you serious?
01:22:54
Speaker
Of course I am. Come on, darling.
01:22:59
Speaker
don't know what you want. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you? You're jumping in on someone else's job and ruining their cover. just trying to get the fucking squishies. You could have waited. I was already well in to this job, okay? And then you come in here and taking over everything just like a man.
01:23:18
Speaker
So maybe you should stop and let me get my job done first and then you can do what you want, okay? Okay. How am I supposed to find anything in this maze if I don't have anyone to follow and lead me to where I need to go to get everything I need?
01:23:29
Speaker
He takes a deep breath. like You see like his skin just like sucks in and sucks back out. oh All right. You can take the one guy. Just pick your favorite little guy, but I got to take the rest back to the lady.
01:23:44
Speaker
Okay? That's fine. I just want one who was really nice to me. Fine, you can take him, but I got to start playing now before the spell wears off, okay? So I'm going start taking these guys Can't you pick a better instrument?
01:23:57
Speaker
Honestly. This is the one I was cursed for, okay? This is the one I have. No, the pan flute is the Pied Piper's thing. That is a curse. Okay, the bagpipes, that is definitely a curse. How do you listen to that all day, honestly? Well, there's the Pied Piper. I can't copy his thing. I'm the Pied Bagpiper.
01:24:14
Speaker
So i that's what I'm cursed with, right? So... Yeah, you might want to renegotiate your contract for that one. If you need help, I'm actually very good at that. No, don't need your You can some contract negotiations.
01:24:27
Speaker
No, I'm not going to get the stink of human on my work. And get you You know, and we can we can get you a better instrument, okay? You know what? Girls love a bassist, all right? You know?
01:24:39
Speaker
Well, I'm not the drummer, though. Somebody wants to be the little drummer boy. Okay, boys love the bassist, too, okay? You see how, like, brooding they look all the time when they're playing on the stages? could totally rock that look. Like, we could, you know, pull your hair over to the side and give you that emo thing that, you know, they all love.
01:24:57
Speaker
You know, give you that androgynous look. Yeah. Very Bowie. Very Bowie. Yeah, I watch Panic at the Disco. I know ah i know what I'm into, okay? See?
01:25:08
Speaker
Yeah. You know, we can get you space. Like, let me renegotiate your contract for you. I promise you will be happy with my services. You said that you just wanted the little dude, and now you're trying to fuck with the contract here. Like, what's your deal? I need to get these organics back before the lady gets pissed.
01:25:27
Speaker
We're in the middle of contract negotiations and having a conversation, okay? Do you really want to pay the but the play the bagpipes until the end of time? You know what? Let me deliver my last load and then maybe we can negotiate, right?
01:25:40
Speaker
But I have to finish what I started. Oh my gosh, then hurry up and finish so that I can finish up what I need to with my new little friend. I'm going to finish so hard. Just give me a second. um Deep breath.
01:25:52
Speaker
Deep breath. He takes a deep breath and b babyb and then like one of the puppets brings back the marion you were talking to drops him off next to you and then the marions and the puppets all like start following him down like a long path to the right towards um what you can now see that kind of materializes in the distance is like a big kind of like metallic looking building um it just says science and big red letters on it that are blinking bzz bzz bzz um and so that's That's a red sign we don't want to go through and she's going to take her Marion's hand.
01:26:28
Speaker
Okay. So you have that. So while that's going on, we'll cut back to the through our trio again. um You three have just, ah well, actually, ah Nina was kidnapped. So Nina's somewhere off in the distance.
01:26:41
Speaker
Dersen and number six, you're standing together, ah two Marians in the bathroom, upset, and then a dead puppet. And then you guys being without the little kid. What do you do?
01:26:52
Speaker
I'm going to run into the bathroom and I'm going to steal a fragment of the puppet. ah Okay. All right. I'm going fast because I'm going to go get Nina because I saw Nina fall.
01:27:03
Speaker
She looks okay. I'm going to go get the puppet. right All right. and roll plus roll just Just for shits and giggles, roll an act under pressure roll, which is plus cool, please. to see how quickly you can make it happen.
01:27:14
Speaker
I got a seven. I'm going to number seven again. All right. That's not too bad. ah So yeah, you're both in there. You might stumble a little bit to kind of get where you need to go but you grab like just some random piece of the of the puppet. You're like just look go whatever piece is like laying around.
01:27:28
Speaker
Yeah, i got an I got a plan for it. um all right I imagine that I'd fall on my face into the whatever. Yeah, I was going to say, maybe you just get covered in the in the in the goopy mud and you notice that like as you're digging through the mud to get these wood pieces, that you see like the the mud bath is getting fuller because the Marians are excreting it to fill it up.
01:27:46
Speaker
ah So they're making the mud bath right now for like future meals and stuff. um So you've just noticed that's how the how the sausage is made. That's all.
01:27:57
Speaker
um And so, yeah, you grab that. So while you're running in there, you're grabbing a piece, just like a chunk of like wood that flew off the puppet. Dursin, are you doing as he runs in out to do that and bolts off towards Nina?
01:28:09
Speaker
Uh, Dursun is probably gonna bolt off towards Nina as well, following behind, uh, uh, number six, and he's he's probably gonna be ah ranting the whole time. yeah He's got great breath control, so he he doesn't have to worry about, uh, breathing very much while running. He's like, I can't believe yeah yeah yeah yo youor you- like Holy shit!
01:28:27
Speaker
You little girl get kidnapped! You're not bastard! Uh, number six is not in shape. Not as in shape as he should be, and he's covered in mud and just, like,
01:28:38
Speaker
Why did you wait for me to even... Why did you wait for me to come out of the mud pits? You know, before you went after the girl anyways. Like... He's having like an asthma attack. Oh, yeah. Oh, because I wanted to point my shotgun at you, but you started running.
01:28:56
Speaker
Well, it's not my fault. I didn't kidnap her. You killed the marionette. ah Yeah, ah well... I mean, it takes a while as for my gun to, you know, it takes a while to load the gun. So it wouldn't be much of a duel, would it?
01:29:11
Speaker
Oh, God, you fucking rat. Durson is still running and he he's still perfectly fine. ah But it's like it's less of a run and more of a bounce because ah he's like ah ah because he's ah as short as he is.
01:29:25
Speaker
Sure. Short little stubby legs. So as you guys are running towards ah where Nina fell, ah ah number six has this fragment. ah Nina is like nursing a little owie up the path a little bit ah from where that guy was jumping.
01:29:39
Speaker
And you see there's like a puppet near her, a marionette who's like getting himself back to his feet as you see the strings like start to like rise up above him so he can stand back up. And he starts like – he starts mimicking what Nina is doing. Like she's holding on her knee like, ah. And so like the puppet goes, oh.
01:29:56
Speaker
Oh, I'm also hurt. Oh.
01:30:00
Speaker
So that's how you see.
01:30:04
Speaker
Just joins me in the pain. He's trying to mimic what he thinks like pain is. So he's trying to do what you're doing. There is some like rip out his Ithaca model 37 shotgun without a stock and blast the marionette to kingdom come.
01:30:20
Speaker
oh shit like you lied your last lie Pinocchio in the before that happens before that happens i got ah I'm on a how how far away are we from Nina and the marionette is it like a safe shot Yeah, I would say, with a shotgun, no. with like more With a more precise weapon, yes. He'd wait until he gets up close.
01:30:41
Speaker
Or he does have a chainsaw, actually. He might use his chainsaw because he's made of wood. I mean, yeah. okay if you if Because if you were going to take a shot, i would push look I would try to push the gun barrel out of the way a different direction, but that's all. He's not going to take a shot with where it could hurt Nina.
01:30:56
Speaker
Yeah, Nina's definitely, if you're gonna fire shotgun from that far, she's definitely in the danger zone. Yeah, no, he's gonna wait till he's up close before shredding the guy with his chainsaw. i say older chain hu ah Okay, yeah. He just pulls him out of nowhere.
01:31:09
Speaker
He pulls it from under the kilt and grabs the chainsaw. That's what they keep under there. it's so but Shit. purse.
01:31:20
Speaker
and there's a whole home deep no under that scale hall it's um Okay, so you see him pulling out a ah chainsaw from his kilt and starts charging towards this thing, number six. ah Are you taking any actions as well?
01:31:33
Speaker
Or are you waiting to see what happens with him? I think that that marionette's about to be fucked up. So I'm going to I'm going to try to move Nina back a little bit and I'm going to take a field bandage out and start dressing her wound.
01:31:50
Speaker
You're going to give like little My Little Pony sticker, a little sharky sticker for her bandage? No, no. This is like an actual full-on ALAML military bandage. Love it. Okay. So you got to do that. You catch up. It's like you hear...
01:32:06
Speaker
as like the chainsaw starts up. He's like blowing it to his bagpipes with like, ah but it's not playing a note, it's just a constant drone. and Yeah, I love it. You have like your own battle music that you're doing while you're charged with this thing. He's like single handing a chainsaw.
01:32:21
Speaker
And the puppet's like holding onto his knee, mimicking Nina. Nina, you see going, oh, I'm hurt. And he's just like waiting for you to react to what you say. Yeah. It's like you hear the sound of a chainsaw. She just looks at them all weird.
01:32:34
Speaker
Like, uh-huh. And then here's this here's the chainsaw. change Turns her head and tries to like scramble away as fast as possible. Okay. Roll an act under pressure roll as you see that ah you see um ah number six is running at you and he has like a bandage in his hand. He's looking to come and like wrap you in. Okay.
01:32:56
Speaker
Just to see what happens. Plus cool. Cool. Eight. to eight That's good enough. Like you definitely have to scramble. ah Your little shark pajamas are kind of like slipping on the floors like you start like try to crawl away. um grippies are running out. Yeah. And um as like you're crawling away, you just hear and then you see like the the marionette gets on his knees to it and starts crawling. He's like, oh, no, I'm hurt.
01:33:23
Speaker
Oh, no, I'm escaping. um And then you see ah Durson just comes and swings his chainsaw down. Durson, go ahead and roll a kick some ass against this ah this creature.
01:33:34
Speaker
ah You can either click the kick some ass button or if you want, you can just click the tough button. um too Tough. And that should roll for you. I have a zero in tough.
01:33:45
Speaker
Hey, let's go. And success. His marionette fucked. ah How much damage does your chainsaw do? ah Let's look. ah da da Chainsaw, three harm, close, messy.
01:34:01
Speaker
So now when you get above a 10 on a kick some ass roll, you can also get what's called an extra effect. And so something else that you can do is you can either inflict terrible harm, which is you do one more harm, or you can suffer less harm, which is minus one harm if they attack you back.
01:34:19
Speaker
You can force them where you want them, meaning you can kind of put them exactly where they need to be if you're setting up a move for someone else, or you can give a a plus one forward to someone else or yourself. based on like what you decide to do. But if you're just looking to shred this thing, if I'm being a generous GM, which I like to be, i would just inflict the extra harm and kill it. Yeah. what the Oh, they have four health and hell yeah.
01:34:39
Speaker
Yeah. So yeah, they only have four health. So um yeah, you swing your chainsaw. Just describe to me what it looks like as you just butcher this thing to protect Nina from it.
01:34:50
Speaker
He's probably gonna go for the strings first. He's just gonna do like a swipe across and cut all its strings. And then uh, and then he's gonna Ash of the evil- or Ash vs. Evil Deadit. He's just gonna- Love it.... a warhandy chainsaw.
01:35:03
Speaker
And uh, and yeah, as he's like playing a- as he's playing like a battle tune from his bagpipes. It's so funny that like you always have like the- the flute part in your- in your mouth, like the mouth of these swans, you're like... Yeah.
01:35:15
Speaker
you yeah I love it. like Just like sawdust goes everywhere. um It's like having flashbacks to the war with seven people. It's like the sawdust. I remember when we fought this big tree in the backyard.
01:35:35
Speaker
I had to cut it down with this very chainsaw. This very chainsaw saved me life. um There we go. So, um yeah. Okay. So you do that. And number six, while Dursin is just mutilating this puppet, ah you see Nina kind of scrambles underneath the puppet just in time as like the chainsaw comes down.
01:35:55
Speaker
And you have a field bandage you said you're your going to patch her up with, yeah? Yep. Yeah, let question yeah let's have you do let's have you do either a sharp roll or a cool roll to see how well you bandage her up to see, because if you do it well enough, we'll take a harm away from her.
01:36:12
Speaker
I rolled an eight on my sharp. All right, an eight is good enough ah to ah to patch her up. So you now have zero harm, Nina, as he gave you a bandage on your owie and gave you a little bit more of a stabilizing bandage so your knee doesn't hurt as much when you run around on it.
01:36:31
Speaker
Will you kiss and make it better? No, that's kind of frowned upon. All right, jeez.
01:36:43
Speaker
i you. You broke so quick. My knee feels so much better. Thank you. All right, now get back up, soldier. I mean, wait, no.
01:36:53
Speaker
No. ah
01:36:56
Speaker
who Do you actually kiss her knee? Yeah, think he does. And for the record, where he comes from, there are child soldiers. 100%. Can you roll a school real quick for me, number six? so No, I can't because I don't have any cool.
01:37:12
Speaker
That's five. Get another experience. I was just going to see if if it was convincing enough to like give like a bonus to Nina's next turn, but it's okay. You did an adequate amount for a soldier to kiss a boo-boo. Nothing crazy there.
01:37:28
Speaker
um this was It wasn't inspiring. It was adequate. um so was It was beautiful. It was cromulent enough. so um So, yeah. So you guys are laying you guys are standing there with like a pile of sawdust. And Nina's okay. Derson's taking out his aggressions.
01:37:46
Speaker
And while you guys are standing there, you hear the bagpipes again. like and ah this They're really loud. They feel like they're everywhere right now. Yeah. Uh, and, um, but I'd say that, uh, you, Durson, especially because you've heard the beautiful music of a bagpipe many times, you're able to kind of like zone in on where it's coming from.
01:38:05
Speaker
ah and it leads you down a similar path that, uh, unbeknownst to you that Darlin took earlier. Uh, so you can lead the way cause you can, you can hear the difference of where it's actually coming from versus what it sounds like it's doing.
01:38:22
Speaker
it's like It's like Durson had a look of like mania on his face, but as soon as the bagpipe starts and he locks the fuck in and he just, like all the veins in his eyes are God and he starts to walk.
01:38:33
Speaker
It's great. Number six. Nina Sharky. Follow me. You've got a devil to beat. Oh, a devil. Okay. He's like, yeah, okay, cool, got it. That's it? This Scottish man is totally not insane.
01:38:50
Speaker
Um... I want to see the world that number six comes from so Number six, by the way, number six has is a two in weird. ah no love that. i have a minus two in weird.
01:39:02
Speaker
The reason, so I don't know. toughest ah It's like table talk, man. but It's okay. You can table talk. I was going to, so basically what I wanted to do before we start walking is and use magic. There's an effect where you can make a portal to a specific person or type of creature.
01:39:21
Speaker
And so I wanted to make a portal to the to the marionette's master. Oh, OK. Directly to the master. So so let me ask you, is this like weird science and not like it's actually a scientific thing that you're doing or is it literal magic that you're doing?
01:39:38
Speaker
It's literal magic, but it's like us. But it's like shit that he studied. i Gotcha. Okay. ah Yeah, like you kind of learned it in a book. No, like he he's done it before. Okay.
01:39:50
Speaker
Then yeah, can ah yeah, then roll plus weird to use magic. Hey guys, look, um come here. Come here, you two. I know that we're going to get this bagpipe guy right now. Put your hand on this. We're going to try it.
01:40:06
Speaker
And i tell i'm giving I'm holding out like a like almost like a steak, I guess, of the... It's like a piece of wood ah from the marionette that I grabbed. Ah, gotcha. And I'm like doing a cheesy thing where i'm like, all put your hands on this, guys.
01:40:21
Speaker
I think that's really fucking good. i had' and I was wondering what you were taking that for. ah Do they put their hand on it? Oh, durson ye Durson does that shit. um Absolutely. So here's what I want you all to do. um ah If the other two would roll what's called a help out roll, ah which is plus cool, and then ah whatever you roll, if you roll well enough, we'll add that to whatever number six rolls to cast this spell.
01:40:50
Speaker
since you're all participating and doing the spell. okay Oh no, six for Nina. Nina didn't do so hot. help It's just in the normal hunter moves reference, right? yeahp Yeah, it should be under help out, correct. My cool is also zero, so it's probably not going to help.
01:41:06
Speaker
You know what, that's okay. Seven is at least a plus one. Okay, yeah so you get an additional plus one um and a plus zero from Nina. Nina's a little scared.
01:41:18
Speaker
All right. Nina's just kind of understandable. All right. but Close your eyes and try to tune out the bagpipes as best you can. And I'm going to say, ah take me to your master as we all close our eyes with our hands on the stupid wooden stake thing from the puppet. This is awesome. I love this. love to shit like this.
01:41:39
Speaker
Yeah. I think it's fantastic. Super creative. um Go for it. Let's see if it explodes or s something. I don't know. know A 10, baby. 11. Describe what this looks like, what the portal looks like as it opens and shows you reveals to you the master of the puppets.
01:41:54
Speaker
I was going to say it's not so much of a portal as much as we just teleport. Oh, you just teleport there? So like we just the bagpipes, I assume, would become extremely loud immediately as we teleport into like the same room as this guy.
01:42:07
Speaker
OK, yeah. So you guys teleport ah to like a massive line. And actually, you guys see Nina in the – I'm sorry, Darlin in the back with another Marion as a bunch of Marians and these wooden Marionette puppets are following this demon, like this gaunt-looking skinny guy, tall, dark hair, like sunken eyeballs, like just like has like a stench about him. It just like reeks in this whole entire room.
01:42:32
Speaker
And they're going towards a large metal building. So, Darlin, up ahead, you see just out of nowhere, Bamson, Nina Sharkey, Durson, and Number Six.
01:42:43
Speaker
ah Just out of nowhere, where poofing up ahead of you in line. ah Feet away from ah and Jeff Esopheles. ah She's just going to roll her eyes and groan and be like, look at them. They can't even get out of their own messes and they have to come and interrupt mine. All right.
01:43:00
Speaker
ah Number six shoots him in the face. yeah You're going to shoot Darlin? I'm kidding, but I... He's not going to appreciate that. He will remember that.
01:43:14
Speaker
attitude Top corner. yeah Yeah, number six will remember this. Yeah. right, so, Darlene, you see them bamf in front of you. your fault You see the line. They're all going towards a metal building. It says science in red letters. You have Marian holding her hand.
01:43:30
Speaker
He's like, Darlene, it's red. So that means we're Darlene, right? but No, not that red one, dear. Not that red one. That's not a red one we use. that's one of You remember how I told you that you know the reds weren't that way for...
01:43:42
Speaker
you know um As the emissary of Mexico for the king there, um we don't we don't follow the red signs there. so So what do I do? What do we do? All my friends are leaving me.
01:43:56
Speaker
um No, they're just going on a little trip. That's all. and they're going to bring you back lots of snacks and treasures and treats. You know, it's fine. and It's fine. Okay. Do you want me to show you the treasures I already have?
01:44:07
Speaker
Yeah. Let's go look at your treasures. Let's go look at your treasures. Maybe the, ah you know, maybe they'll take all the rest of them too and they can be out of our hair.
01:44:18
Speaker
Okay, sure. And you see he pulls out like a little smartphone that looks like a smartphone and pushes a couple of buttons on it. And then you hear like, boom, boom. And he's like his big ass motorcycle fucking like auto drives up to him with like a little sidecar.
01:44:31
Speaker
um And he hops in. He hops up onto to the actual motorcycle part. He says, hop in the sidecar, baby. ah see if i will i mean that's a very nice a nice ride you pulled up but i mean you know she's gonna tuck her hair behind her ear and be like you know that kind of you know like the motorcycle look um and she's going to work on getting her way into the sidecar in like the three inch heels and trying to be ladylike and stuff
01:45:05
Speaker
He gets, it you know what? Marion sees that and like he, he like cartwheels off of the motorcycle, very agile. And then like, like gets down, like as if he's on all fours and says, use me as a stair.
01:45:16
Speaker
ah that's Oh,
01:45:20
Speaker
such a gentleman, Marion, you know, we can just ignore the rest of them and they can do whatever they want to do. And let's go find all of your treasures. Excellent.
01:45:30
Speaker
You know what's funny? I got this motorcycle from like this fiery skull head guy. Oh, wow. you know I've never met one of those fiery skull head men, but this is a this is a very nice motorcycle you have from him. So good job. Good job. Thanks.
01:45:51
Speaker
Do you have other stuff like this there in your treasure room? So much cool shit. You don't even know. Oh, I can't wait. I cannot wait to see all of your treasures. We have an alien bomb in there that'll blow your fucking mind.
01:46:04
Speaker
Wow. Look at that. Look. Oh, my gosh. i but I'm so glad we started this friendship. This is just beautiful. So, um and he hops up on his motorcycle and just rips it like, and like, kind of, you guys just like, kind of like jump forward, just like,
01:46:20
Speaker
like Star Trek style. It's like, like out of nowhere. And then before you know it, you're in like this big ass room, this big kind of stone temple looking room. And there's just piles and piles of just like big, like these big kind of mirror looking things. um Like that are kind of like, there's big holes in them They look like mirrors, but there's no glass in them everywhere.
01:46:41
Speaker
ah You see next to all of them, like a different timestamps, different time periods, multiverse um labels. um And you see, there's just like, instruments, weapons, treasures, gems, ah vehicles, ah just as far as the eye can see, just like this big room. It just looks like ah just a horde that like the greediest dragon or leprechaun on earth would make.
01:47:07
Speaker
um Her eyes just get super wide as she just goes looking and just touching everything. And she's seeing if there's anything magical in here. and Oh, so much magic.
01:47:18
Speaker
Yeah. um She's, oh my goodness. this is These are some beautiful treasures you have here. ah yeah, we're going to throw them out. Oh my God. Do you mind if I take, you know, one or two? yeah. Recycle. Recycle. Recycle. Yeah. You know, I'm sure I can find a home for all of this.
01:47:35
Speaker
So she's just going to start like putting stuff in her pockets and stuff. Oh, hey, actually, you know, right? And he like takes a short ah slide over and he pulls out a like a really, like a really small looking bag.
01:47:48
Speaker
And he says, just shove it out in here. ah He opens it up, and as he opens it, you just see like a universe is inside of it. um And he just says, just put it in here, and you just reach in there and get it.
01:47:59
Speaker
Oh, beautiful, beautiful. You're so good to me. So she's just going to like take the bag and start throwing stuff into it. and He's like, I told us i told the this place to be a lot cleaner if we put everything in these bags, but I got outvoted,
01:48:13
Speaker
you know what You know what, yours is the only vote that matters now and I am on your side so I will help you put this stuff in the bags for better organization and you know, care, taking care of it all, you know.
01:48:26
Speaker
Obviously you need some help and I'm just here to help you, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, certainly. um And you see like you see there's like a little red gem that breaks. like you see like You hear like the sound like an egg, almost like it's cracking.
01:48:39
Speaker
And you just hear like a loud shattering of glass. And you see standing before you is Mike. Mike the Demon, the name of which I can't remember the full name you said. Michael Elligan. Michael Elligan.
01:48:50
Speaker
And he's like, no, I know you're not getting yourself some treasure without thinking of old little Michael Elligan over here Oh, of course I'm thinking about you. Why do you think I'm taking all of it?
01:49:05
Speaker
Oh, no, I just want to make sure because there's an awful lot of powerful stuff in here. Okay, well, I didn't know you were going to come in and check up on me and micromanage. You're new hire. I've got to do a review. Oh, well, then do your review while I grab all this stuff for you. It's fine. Marvin, do you have another bag that I can throw stuff in?
01:49:27
Speaker
Yeah, of course, baby. Whatever you want. Sorry, I don't mean to call you baby. That's not progressive of me. Lady, ma'am? Yes, of course. yeah um Just call me darling. It's fine. You're my friend. dar ah Is that your name?
01:49:38
Speaker
Yes. That is my name. the um ah Sweet. And yeah, he chucks you another bag and you see just like Michael Ellican standing there. He's like, hey, that little Mario, why don't you give me one of those little bags yourself, that little guy. Yeah.
01:49:54
Speaker
um And you see Marion kind of looks at you and his little eye stalks like dart back and forth. Am I? Do I give him one? I mean, you can give him one. He's my boss. I work for him. You know, sometimes he's not as much of a prick as he is right now.
01:50:07
Speaker
You know, why don't you go talk to Jonathan who was here earlier disrupting my work? Oh, you mean Jeff? Yes. He was here and being absolutely atrocious and rude.
01:50:18
Speaker
No, he's here trying to help a Lady Baba Yaga just like cook some of these little alien snail guys for some for some youth potions we're going to sell to the Earthlands.
01:50:29
Speaker
Okay, but did he have to do it at the same time that I'm here working on a job as well? Like, that's little rude. I mean, sometimes there's cross-departmental interaction, darling. That's just the way life works.
01:50:41
Speaker
And he just starts using like one of his long claws to like pick his teeth a little bit. He's like, you know, I just can't help but imagine that you know things are more efficient if more departments are working in tandem. You know, synergy and all that.
01:50:54
Speaker
I know, but he completely interrupted everything I was doing. Like, I had to go search for him out so I could get my new friend here back to show me all of his treasures.
01:51:05
Speaker
Well, I mean, I'm sorry that they ask. You should his motorcycle. Oh, I've seen his motorcycle. It's quite fancy. I might want to take that one for myself. I think I knew a guy who had that same make and model.
01:51:17
Speaker
Yes, he might have gotten it from them. Huh. I think he was a stunt guy before he died. I'd probably look at that thing. Anyways, yeah, it's a pretty bitchin' ride and everything. But yeah, just make sure you make sure you get all the good stuff from me, and you can maybe keep, I don't know, um I don't know, like one of those pearls. Girls like pearls, right?
01:51:39
Speaker
No, girls girls like me do not like pearls. What? All them women's studies classes I attended, I swear they said girls like pearls. ah No, that was just ah something to help you remember something by.
01:51:56
Speaker
oh well, dang. Well, all right, whatever. we Just take like a shiny for yourself, but all the rest comes back to me and to heck. Yes, of course. I wouldn't dream of taking anything else other than one shiny thing.
01:52:10
Speaker
Oh good, I knew you wouldn't lie to me there, darling. I know on account of, you know, you work for me now. I know when you're being a little mischievous and whatnot, but uh... No, not me. I'm just so sweet and innocent. You know, you can trust me.
01:52:24
Speaker
Right, and I belong in heaven with with with the big G-man. Ugh, who would want to be there? know, right? It's atrocious. There's no fun. Yeah, what a goober.
01:52:36
Speaker
They're also s stuffy up there anyways. Oh, my God. I mean, the air quality. It's just the air so thin. I can't even breathe. No. And I mean, you know, we get lovely weather. We have the beaches on the Lake of Fire. You know, it's grand. It's beautiful. What else do Sometimes I'll just get a couple of friends and go tubing down the River Styx.
01:52:57
Speaker
Oh, see? It's just absolutely so much fun. Why would you want anything else in your life? Oh, man. y'all Just... ah You know, i i think we're finally starting to see a horn to horn, eye to eye. You know what i'm saying?
01:53:11
Speaker
Mm-hmm. You know, well that's that's why you have me here is because you know ah you know I'm going to do great things for you. You know what? Roll manipulate somebody against ah Michael Elegant.
01:53:24
Speaker
just want to see ah if if how much of this smoke he's inhaling here. Okay. So yeah, you rolled nine. Okay, so you know what?
01:53:35
Speaker
ah I'm just going to roll a straight 2d6 to see if Marion can help you get that two at 10. He did not. He rolled a three. So he's just like, yeah, she's great. Yeah, she's like the Sirenist.
01:53:50
Speaker
And he's like, shut up, little guy. um And um you see, he kind of looks at you. He eyeballs you like real hard. And he's just like... You know what?
01:54:01
Speaker
If you were 100% honest with me, I would say this relationship wasn't going to work out. You got to be able to lie a little around here. So, you know what? Take two treasures. You can have two.
01:54:13
Speaker
You know what? Take a magic one while you're at it. Go ahead. Oh, you're so good to me. So good to me. Yeah, yeah. Now I got to go i gotta to go ah check in on a giant talking chicken who ah seems to think that copying my accent is funny.
01:54:28
Speaker
Oh, do you know, I hope you show them who's boss, teach them a lesson while you're at it. you know Oh, yeah, I'm gonna butter his bread. Oh, my God. Fuck you for that Anna. Yes, do that. Maybe you can make nuggets out of him or something, and we can do dinner later. gonna open up a restaurant for sure.
01:54:49
Speaker
Anyways, bye. And then like he like slinks like back into that gem, and the gem glues itself back together. Tink, tink, tink. And then he's gone. Yeah, she just gives a little wave with her fingers and then just, he's gone and she's like, I'm sorry about that, Marion. You know, you never expect the boss to show up and he just micromanages and, you know, it's just, ugh, can't we just have some free time around here to just make new friends?
01:55:12
Speaker
He looks at you with like big eyes and he goes, Loharad? Yes, actually, we are, you know, and if you give them my name on your application, ah then, you know, we can get like a little bonus once you're there for a little bit.
01:55:30
Speaker
Sweet. You see, he kind of like slinks over to one of these like large mirror-looking structures. And reaches into like a little compartment underneath it, and he pulls out like this giant disc, about the size of like an old-school record.
01:55:46
Speaker
And he plops it into like a slot in this machine, and it turns on like this kind of purple, blue, and green swirling color, like fills it. And he says, let's get out of here then. Where do you want to go? Just pick a time. Pick a space.
01:55:59
Speaker
You know what? Why don't you take me to your favorite space? Yeah, I'm just going to finish. She's going to throw everything she can into both of the bags. And she'll go through it later. Let's let's go. Do you want to a beach vacation? i think you would look great on a beach with a margarita in your hand.
01:56:14
Speaker
don't what a margarita Oh, darling. It's just ah so wonderful and refreshing. I think you'll love it. You know, a little bit of salt on there. Sure, he just types in beach ah into into the thing.
01:56:29
Speaker
And then like the color kind of kind of turns to more like a solid blue. And he says, like okay, let's go to the beach, I guess. When she's leaving for the beach with Marvin. Or Marion. She's going to call them different names.
01:56:43
Speaker
Uh, okay. You jump in to, ah the portal with Marion with your bag full of just wonderful little items. Um, and you guys end up on a beach, this nice beach, but like it's foggy, it's rainy right now.
01:56:58
Speaker
Uh, and you start to hear gunfire back and forth. People are like in the middle of this huge fucking gun battle. It's like, um, and, uh, Marion like shrinks his eye stalked down and goes, wow, the beach sure is pretty.
01:57:14
Speaker
um maybe find a better one with less of whatever this is going on. You know, this doesn't seem like the right sort of ambiance. It doesn't set that vibe, you know? really need to work on vibes.
01:57:25
Speaker
That's a one-way street. I didn't bring any more coins with this. oh Oh, goodness. All right. Well, Marion, it's just you and me, and this is the start of a beautiful friendship. So let's go and explore.
01:57:41
Speaker
Maybe we can take over this world, too. Yeah. He looks at like his little watch and it says, um ah apparently we're in France, so that sounds nice. Ugh, France, so pretentious.
01:57:54
Speaker
You know, back before, you know, they asked me to be the emissary for France, and I was just like, no, absolutely not, you know. Let's go tell the king of France to make his beaches better.
01:58:06
Speaker
There we go, yes. He needs better beaches, let's go. You see he's like waving his arms at the soldiers that are firing guns. He goes, hey, we got the emissary of of of Australia, Canada here to talk to the king of France.
01:58:18
Speaker
Yes, take me to your king. And then you see all of the men drop to a knee. The gunfire stops and there's like an eerie calm on the beach. um And then Marion looks back at you. His eye stalks turn around and goes,
01:58:34
Speaker
Oh, shit. um And then they they all recognize you as the emissary of Canada, Australia, Normandy, Norway. Antarctica, you know, go Mexico. Yes. And then all these soldiers call a ceasefire and they all follow behind you as um you are ah escorted to the king of France's castle. Yes. I have created my own army. i can rule the world.
01:59:03
Speaker
Excellent. And so while that's happening, we cut quickly back to our other three heroes who are standing in... I love that inflection. yeah Who are following a group of or have been banned to a group of Marion's and Marionettes who are walking towards a large metal building.
01:59:24
Speaker
You see the the pied bagpiper is ah leading them towards this building. And you see standing outside this building us as a science on it. You see like this kind of this like.
01:59:36
Speaker
ah lab coat wearing bespectacled lady with like her hair pulled back into a ponytail and she's standing there with a big smile on her face as she like opens the door and ushers the Marians inside.
01:59:50
Speaker
What do you guys do? How we going play this number six? Do I recognize her? Do you recognize her? Yeah. Do you want to recognize her? I'm just saying, ah i just seeing but you know, but' just asking the GM, just asking questions.
02:00:04
Speaker
you know Yeah. If you want to recognize her, you can. and'm I was hoping you'd make the call for me, but that's all right. I don't recognize her. You know what? Yeah, you recognize her. That is. yeah Yeah, that is Sherry Bobbins.
02:00:19
Speaker
Sherry Bobbins. Sherry Bobbins.
02:00:24
Speaker
I knew it was her fault. She disappeared right when you disappeared. She was the one firing the gun. you see Is that what we're going with?
02:00:35
Speaker
Yeah, let's do it. She was about to kill you and take all your work. All right. I'm just going to yell at her. Sherry!
02:00:46
Speaker
but Oh, is that number six? I'm going to pull the bullet out of my pocket. ah ah shit.
02:00:58
Speaker
Oh, I see you've had a kid and you got a boyfriend since I saw you last. You traitor! Damn! whoa ah What a comeback! I know, this is really exciting, isn't it?
02:01:12
Speaker
Well, I mean, I don't- I traitor? Come on, you know what Come on in here, come see my lab. It's been far too long. How long's it been? A few centuries? Oh yeah, we'll come in there, alright.
02:01:23
Speaker
We'll come in there, alright. Start the chainsaw. Yeah, we're gonna come right in there. ah She says, oh you have a little kid with you. Can you bring her? I need some little little short fleshies to experiment with. Can you bring her in here?
02:01:36
Speaker
Yeah, sure. She'll come inside with her... ah get your Use her giant toy thing or whatever. I'm trying to prod Nita. Stranger danger! Stranger danger! Yeah, stranger danger. It's hack.
02:01:48
Speaker
No, I'm not. No, no strangers here, darling. to say we I just want to give you... um there's There's candy. there's candon See, that's why all the Marians are coming in here, because there's candy in here.
02:01:59
Speaker
And you are... It's delicious. Oh, candy? yeah Oh, yeah, mister. Come on in. Eat that candy.
02:02:08
Speaker
Not eat that candy. Yeah, it's called, um, it's called Del- Del- Just even know the name. Oh, you know what they're called? We're making smoothies in here. We call them youthies.
02:02:21
Speaker
he It'll make you be young forever. Eternal youth. That's bullshit and you know it. No, no, we're making it for you yeah real young people. I mean candy. Young candy. What you're gonna do now is you're gonna surrender you're gonna you're gonna take us back and we're gonna court-martial your ass.
02:02:40
Speaker
Take you back where? This is where this is where I live now. Oh, we're taking you back to France. Oh, shit. ah it ah shits out What? No. i this is I was brought here for some unknown purpose. I thought maybe I had gone to hell at first on account of I shot you, but turns out I'm in heaven.
02:03:01
Speaker
Everything I could possibly want is here. I don't buy that for a minute.
02:03:08
Speaker
Or a second even. Well, a second here is a long time. Yep. Well, that means I'll never buy it. Yeah, yeah you're going to take us back, okay? Or else... ah he has a My guy has a negative one charm.
02:03:21
Speaker
That's why I'm acting. I have a two charm. Yeah, you do intimidate. Maybe you say something. You intimidate her. Like, the middle of your conversation, he's going to burst in and say, Where's the devil?
02:03:34
Speaker
I need to do one. yeah you see You see Jeff Estoffelees lands right in front of you after all the Marians are like packed tight into this metal building. They shut the door behind them.
02:03:47
Speaker
And it's just like you see like there's there's Sherry and ah Jeff Estoffelees standing outside. um And Jeff looks at you. He goes, I just suck and I got to find a demon. How do you know?
02:04:00
Speaker
You fucking devil yet. You don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. i did a talk about You know what? Hey, you, number six, come here. ah Hold on. Let me, I got to turn on subtitles. so I got
02:04:19
Speaker
to get it. Should I take it? i gotta of try of take an a
02:04:27
Speaker
i mean You know what? or I'm going to take you outside. out um That's pretty much what he says. He said he's going to take you out is what he said. Yeah, pretty much. to Call him a little bitch and nan and bink tatty.
02:04:40
Speaker
so what do you do? Are you going to attack him? No, not yet. He's going to say he's going like start. We're going to like auto translate. ah I challenge you to a duel.
02:04:53
Speaker
Oh, well, a duel sounds most efficient to settle who is best between us. That sounds good. Precisely. If I win, you let us out into any time period we want.
02:05:06
Speaker
what or What are your stakes? What an immaculate idea. I think that's great. But if I win, I want you guys to be puppets because I'm collecting more. Not them. Me.
02:05:18
Speaker
All right, fine. I guess I can cut you in half and make two puppets out of you. All right, fine. I'll take you. All right, then. Then with that, he's he's go to like like ah he's going to turn around but and he's going to go to number six and and ah Nina Sharkey. He's going to look down to Nina and say, you good, kid.
02:05:34
Speaker
And he's going to go to number six and go in for like an Arnold Schwarzenegger Carl Weathers handshake. yeah because Okay, yeah. Does number six go with it? Yeah, of course. Both of their arms become fucking massive as they slam together. It's you're like a brother to me, number six.
02:05:51
Speaker
ah Right on, comrade. yeah Right on, comrade. Aye, aye, Captain. So what's going on? I still don't know. ah Oh, it's a duel.
02:06:04
Speaker
i see thecily sub metals I see the now. okay
02:06:10
Speaker
ah Nina, what do you do as like this argument is going on and number six is yelling at Sherry? She's just going to pull a Pop-Tart out of Ted and start eating it while she looks around and looks for a exit sign. You want to ah read a bad situation?
02:06:30
Speaker
Sure. do believe one of the questions on there is what's my best way out? Mm-hmm. Uh, that'll be plus sharp for Rita Bad Situation. Hey, that's nine. That's a nine. I believe that's, what, ah one question on Rita Bad Situation?
02:06:45
Speaker
Yes. What's my best way out? Your best way out. Um, you can see, ah Like, I don't, it's weird that nobody notices this whole entire time, but like there are billboards everywhere.
02:07:00
Speaker
And, um, on one of these billboards, you see like this big kind of like mirror shaped device with like a Marian holding a coin that fits perfectly inside of it. And it says like, kind of like a little advertisement on it. And it just says like, go anywhere in time and space, any universe with the time coin.
02:07:19
Speaker
Um, And that's how you get out is you have to go through one of those things. She's going to look for the coin. Whoa, there's one right there. oh my gosh. Insane. Like it has had one and inside of him this whole time.
02:07:39
Speaker
Oh, my goodness. So she's going to take it and she's just going to take off running towards the billboards. I'm guessing have like an arrow pointing towards the exit. Yeah, it's fucking weird that people didn't notice that the first time around. Like, yes, there's giant blinking arrows. It's like the mirror room is this way.
02:07:57
Speaker
um And do it so you just start running away towards the frontal room. yeah okay uh she does so all of a sudden you see nina's like psych and just fucking peaces out uh as you guys are having a standoff with sherry and uh jeff estoffelees um so uh okay so uh while she's running away number six what do you do so you're having like a a pissing match with sherry bobbins right now um and she has shut all the Marians inside and ah she pulls from her pocket ah like a gun that like starts like kind of like and kind of builds itself in her hands and it looks like like a particle shotgun um and ah she says all right now number six just ah be cool all right like just ah I can send you somewhere where you'll never have to worry about any of this again um I'm picking up the bullet I had the bullet in my hand still
02:08:55
Speaker
Yeah. and I'm going to tell it, return to your master. you get oh shit. You're going to cast a spell. Oh, that's fucking awesome. You're going fire the bullet right back at her. That's incredible. I love that. That is baller.
02:09:08
Speaker
All right. Go ahead and roll ah plus weird, I guess. I failed. got a five. you You roll a five. You cast a spell. It says, return to your master, and it floats oh so slowly over to her, and she just takes it out of the air, and it lands in her palm.
02:09:23
Speaker
And she's like, um... hey Thank you for that. Well, I'm screwed.
02:09:33
Speaker
she's She's like genuinely like you just see like literal question marks above her head. She's like, I don't. She looks over to Jeff. ah Was that? Was did you mean to give this to me?
02:09:45
Speaker
ah While she's doing that, I'm going to unfold my plasma gun or particle accelerator. So she's just like so confused. I think just the the fail itself was enough to just keep her from doing anything to you.
02:09:58
Speaker
So she's just she's she's she's you pull out your gun. She says, oh, that was just to distract me so you could pull out your gun. You you clever little guy. Can I get a shot off? Sure. Absolutely. yeah She can only shoot you if you shoot at her first. So.
02:10:13
Speaker
um
02:10:15
Speaker
That's a nine. How much damage does your particle done gun do? ah That would be a four. Oh, shit. ah Yeah, you blast her with this fucking thing. like just just Speed of light practically shot. just like ah She goes flying into...
02:10:32
Speaker
um into the, the metal building, like it pierces through the building, probably kills a couple of Marians on the inside. Um, and like, you see just like her shoulders, like barely hanging onto her body.
02:10:43
Speaker
And she just like in total shock. Um, and, And ah you see that like as she's like just kind of reeling from this pain that you've just inflicted upon her like awful awful fucking harm.
02:10:57
Speaker
um You just get jumped by about like 12 fucking marionettes just start beating the living shit out of you. um They just start kicking the shit out of you like gang gang style for like three harm. They just start stomping you on the ground. They sweep your legs.
02:11:11
Speaker
You just start kicking the shit out of you. um so I'm calling out. I'm like, Dursun, help me, anybody, God.
02:11:24
Speaker
Dursun, you see as like he's getting his ass beat, you see that like ah very you hear a very subtle tune being played on the bagpipes. like the most like but like Realistically, it doesn't make sense how low this note is for a fucking bagpipe, but like it's just a very like, hmm.
02:11:39
Speaker
And just like as he's blowing into this, you see that like that's what activated these ah puppets to beat the shit out of your friend. I see. So he he looks to number six, whom he just had a heart to heart.
02:11:50
Speaker
And then ah and like you you swear you could hear the the cracking of his neck as he turns around, a man who obviously hasn't been to a chiropractor in a good century or so Sure. And he he looks at the, he looks at, what's his name? Jeff? Yeah, Jeff Estopheles.
02:12:04
Speaker
Jeff Estopheles. And he pulls out his own bagpipe. and He starts, he does a high drone to counter the low drone. Oh, shit. Okay. I like that. Do you have like a performance move as the celebrity or something? i was looking for like a bard um or like a bard-esque character. This is the closest I could find.
02:12:23
Speaker
um i do not. I have like fake lore. I have Scream Queen. uh and i have acting my dear boy in case i died um yeah you know what let's call this like a charm roll i think like charm rule you know yeah you have a big presence like you're trying to manipulate the situation i think a charm roll is probably like what is kind of happening you're trying to turn the tide of these of these puppets yeah so i rolled an eight a mixed uh success Okay. Eight's pretty solid. So I'm going – in my head, here's what I'm thinking.
02:12:55
Speaker
You counteract some of this note. Again, this a supernatural creature that you're trying to play against. You wield this power. You play this note. Half – like there's a dozen marionettes kicking the shit out of number six.
02:13:10
Speaker
Six of them stand up straight. You see like they kind of like – kilts grow around their lower body fuck yeah did they get track suits yeah and they have track suits on and that you now have like six you have now stolen six of these from jeff estoffelees and they are now like in a brawl against the other six what's removing them from number six And so there's this is like, all you just hear is like wood clacking off of wood. It's just like fighting the fuck out of each other.
02:13:42
Speaker
So you've went you've you've stolen six of his goons to hold off the rest of what he has. um So yeah, that's really cool. um So while you're playing that note, ah number six, the guys have been pulled off of you.
02:13:55
Speaker
What do you do? Oh, thanks, man. that fucking hurt. He kind of goes like, because his mouth is full of bad joke. Yeah, playing a bad joke. Yeah. Where's that? I'm going to look around for Nina.
02:14:09
Speaker
Nina has beat feet away. Like she is, you can just kind of see her very off in the distance, very barely. She's like beating feet as fast as her little legs will carry her.
02:14:20
Speaker
You hear like a, yeah you see just like a little shark tail in her ah pajamas, just wiggling back and forth. And the subtitles say, follow her. What? I gotta help legs you hearre like a and the subtitles say follow her yeah what like kind of help you
02:14:40
Speaker
This is my battle. yeah It's just two like bagpipes going against each other. yeah I'm going to go over Sherry's mangled fucking corpse and I'm going to take a fucking ID card out of her. to take her lanyard.
02:14:58
Speaker
She's still alive. She's just like laying there bleeding out. I'm taking her lanyard and then kicking her. Oh, my leg. ah She's like, as long as my smoothies are still good, I'll be good.
02:15:11
Speaker
Um, We haven't had smoothies in 50 years. You know that. Why did you take my lanyards?
02:15:20
Speaker
Proof of vote of what you've done. What did i do aside from trying to work with a demon to make people youthful forever? That's basically it. Yeah, it's that was pretty bad.
02:15:32
Speaker
Not going to lie. oh And you betrayed your country, your country The whole lab, you know, the people that you've worked with for, well, I've known you for about, what, 17 years at this point?
02:15:43
Speaker
Yeah, 17 give or take. Yeah. Anyways, fuck you. ah She says, well, all right. And she, like, reaches for her particle shotgun one more time.
02:15:56
Speaker
going to kick it out of her hands. Oh, dang. Well, guess I'm defeated. Shit. Shit. seems um And she just lays there and just kind of stares up at the, well, whatever the equivalent of time jail sky is into the void. And she's like, well, guess, guess you bait me. Good luck out there. Number six.
02:16:18
Speaker
Yep. See ya. it Good meeting. yeah Yeah. Our final meeting. Very efficient on time. I think. I'm walking away and ignore her at this point.
02:16:30
Speaker
single tear rolls down Durtson's cheek at the heartfelt departure. Yeah. And then you see she presses a button. She reaches out and she she presses a button on ah on her belt.
02:16:45
Speaker
And hear beep, beep, beep, beep. And then she starts to like do like a maniacal laugh, but it's not that maniacal. So like, here, here, here. Here, here, here.
02:16:58
Speaker
um And Durstyn, as you're playing, that you can see on her belt like a bright red light just starts to go. Actually, no, I take it back. It's not a bright red light. It's a bright green light because it means different to here.
02:17:11
Speaker
Like beep, beep, beep, beep. um What do you do? a Number six, you started walking away already, but you hear the beeps. She activated herself to struck Durson.
02:17:23
Speaker
What do you do? i'm I'm running away. What does Durson do? Durson continues dueling. As long as he duels with the devil, he cannot be harmed.
02:17:35
Speaker
The devil won't let it happen. I love it. Yeah, you run away, then... Do you want an act under pressure rule for me, number six, please?
02:17:46
Speaker
um To see how well you do at beaten feet away from this. eye is this is this ah Is this fear? am I afraid right now? that's Do you think you would be afraid?
02:17:58
Speaker
No, because I cannot be. i am I have a trait called Oblivious to Danger. That's fantastic. So I cannot i cannot be afraid. and just What is that? so Okay, well then, yeah, you just, you know what? Then you get an automatic 10 on your act under pressure you're not running out of fear.
02:18:12
Speaker
You're just running out of like knowing that it's bad for you. um And so, yeah, you fucking beat feet out of there. No sweat. Action hero style. Yeah. uh, or action scientist style, I guess. Um, as, uh, as just this, you hear, boy and then just like her body explodes, like in a very underwhelming, uh, explosion because Jeff Estoffeleus puts like a bubble around her, um because he doesn't want Durston to get killed.
02:18:39
Speaker
just And, um, she just explodes and he takes cone off and there's just like a puddle of person there. Um, and, um, he looks to you and takes his, he's trying to talk to you telepathically. He goes,
02:18:53
Speaker
he he says, wait for all there's leaving the It says, it's time for us to finish this once and for all. Yeah. the durson Durson says, ah um he liked like ah takes his mouth off of the bagpipes, allows for a breath and says, or I completely agree with you. Let us finish this.
02:19:21
Speaker
Alright, and so, uh, roll, tell me what you want to do. Like, tell me, like, what, like, your best move would be to do. Like, how would you defeat him in, uh, Bagpipe Duel? We'll call it, uh, Macaulay Culkin's, uh, Last Stand or something, because Macaulay Culkin kind of vaguely sounds like a Scottish name.
02:19:39
Speaker
and, uh, and it's just the Home Alone theme song. Perfect. Okay, very good. You know what? Just like you blow as hard as you can. um i do know he just plays Devil Went Down to Georgia.
Musical Duel and Devil's Defeat
02:19:54
Speaker
Why didn't I think that? you know just plays Devil Went Down to Georgia.
02:19:57
Speaker
All right. You play the Doug went down to Georgia and you see you hear his eyes roll so hard. Like ah he rolls his eyes so fucking hard as if he hasn't heard that one a thousand times. um He's just like he like just kind of stops. He goes in subtitles you hear.
02:20:16
Speaker
Come on, man. and uh it's a good song yeah and so you play so you know what let's call this um another charm role i think you're trying to out charisma this devil essentially to beat him at bag all right fingers crossed Alright, let's see. So it'll be another charm. lucky number 13. Wow. How Holy I don't know what the fuck I'm rolling.
02:20:46
Speaker
Incredible. usually i know Usually get terrible rolls. God damn. I forget what you asked him for when you... So if we won, we go free. If ah we lose... Oh, right.
02:20:59
Speaker
Yeah. So you you just outplay. And even though he has a band of devils that pop up out of nowhere with fiddles and drums and guitars and horns and a whole band just starts playing with him, he tries to outdo you.
02:21:15
Speaker
But all he hears is, Grandma does your dog bite, no child, no. And he just like he just feels... Like, just emasculated by this, just the fact that this song has beaten him, even though he's heard it a thousand times.
02:21:28
Speaker
And just you outplay him and just his bagpipes just like turn to ash in his hands. Oh, shit. And all the other demons just like kneel ah before you and he drops to his knees and he summons a golden bagpipe and lays it at your feet.
02:21:45
Speaker
um I suppose it's opt. He says as he grabs the gold. It's not even like a usable bagpipe. It's just solid gold. it's not. It's just like a statue. It's a trophy. And he he says, well, I lost my accent because I lost the duel. So that sucks.
02:22:03
Speaker
um So, but all right. i guess I can. Huh? ah Sorry, I can't understand you anymore. What? He looks like with a glare down at the devil, yeah ah like a look that could strip the paint off a car as he picks up the statue and turns around.
02:22:20
Speaker
He's like, um do you want me to send you guys home or? There's no more power here, devil. We'll find our own way. You got that right. I guess I'll go see what's in this lady's lab.
02:22:31
Speaker
um All right. See ya. He, he like snaps his finger, says, come on boys. And all the devils like just drop their instruments of walk into the lab and like a big old fucking like horde of Marians come falling out as if it's like a closet overpacked and like just fucking just like crush them all under the weight of a thousand Marians. Yeah.
Treasure Hunts and Alternate Universe Plans
02:22:51
Speaker
And so, yeah, you walk off. And number six, actually, we'll go to Nina. Nina, you're sprinting towards the signs. You're following the signs. You're a smart little kid. You find your way to this room, a treasure room full of trinkets and baubles and things.
02:23:06
Speaker
And you see like large mirrors, one of which looks like it's been recently activated. you ah And actually, this is how you escaped before. Someone put a coin in a machine for you a long time ago, um the last time you were here.
02:23:20
Speaker
and um There's these large kind of like mirror-like structures that have like a slot for a coin in it. You have a coin in your backpack. um And you see all these other treasures and magical artifacts and and trinkets ah in vehicles, whatever was left behind that Darlin took um that you don't know she took. And yeah, you're in the escape room.
02:23:40
Speaker
Okay. What do you do? She's going to grab like anything that looks kind of like ocean related. Like if there's like a Poseidon's fucking. Yeah.
02:23:52
Speaker
ah Oh, my God. So she's going to definitely grab that. And then she's going to grab a couple extra coins and put them in to Ted just in case she ends up getting like stuck here again. Sure.
02:24:06
Speaker
um And then she's going to take off running to the mirror. And because she by by this time, she's really like she's remembering the mirror room.
02:24:19
Speaker
And so she looks at Ted and says, oh, OK, remember how to get out of here. She looks around to see if that any of the adults are around. the um Well, that all depends on how quickly number six scampered past you. Aside from that, no. So number six, do you think you would have started running towards Nina or do you think you'd be running behind on? Because I know she got a head start, but you're also much bigger than her.
02:24:43
Speaker
I think I would come in, you know, a couple minutes after, whilst he's looting. Sure. While you're looting, you see like there's a couple of bags hanging from the wall that says like shopping bags and they're just like universe bags of holding.
02:24:55
Speaker
um And you can just like start shoving like Poseidon's trident in there. Classic bags. Yeah. I see like little crystal sharks or dolphins and stuff like along the side. And so she starts shoving those in there. Like anything ocean related, she's just like shoving them in there. was that What was that jewel from Titanic? the The gem of the sea, the jewel of the sea?
02:25:19
Speaker
Oh, the heart of the ocean. ocean Yeah, you find that on top of like old dragon board. Oh my I knew this where it showed up. Yeah. I knew it. Yeah, you see like on top of like a door floating in a pool, there's the, what was it, the heart of the ocean sitting atop it?
02:25:36
Speaker
Uh-huh, uh-huh. And yeah, so you're looting and then as you're getting ready to like pop yourself into a mirror, you see number six shows up. And number six, you see all the things I described earlier.
02:25:48
Speaker
Oh, God, get this bullshit out of my way. And he kicks over like the Holy Grail, throws the Ark of Covenant over his shoulder.
02:25:56
Speaker
fucking kicks Jimmy Hoffa's body out of the way. No.
02:26:02
Speaker
There's that like Disney's head in ah in ah in a jar or something. Yeah. Yeah, tip that over. Marilyn Monroe standing there like a showgirl, like, this is the way out. This is the way out. perfectly fun. She's just... Do I recognize the realm she's walked she's about to walk into?
02:26:19
Speaker
do you recognize the realm? like I thought she was like going to go through a mirror or something. She hasn't activated yet, so... Okay. Yeah. right It's still empty. There's only one that's activated right now that's on. Nina. Oh, thank god you're all right.
02:26:33
Speaker
Oh, shit. looks like it's some oh yeah Looks like you got some dope-ass loot, too. Oh, that's awesome. Are you going to take anything, number six? He's, like, looking around, and and he looks at the lanyard.
02:26:44
Speaker
Looks around, looks at the lanyard. No, I'm not going to take anything, God. Okay. ah you see You see just like an apparition of like just like ah like a humanoid apparition just gives you a thumbs up and then disappears.
02:26:58
Speaker
but Okay, I think Derson's going to be... Oh, wait, I think that's him now. He just strides through the door. Yeah, his footsteps even heavier because of the giant solid gold stuff Where's the other lady? It's first place on it.
02:27:16
Speaker
yeah First place. You mean the devil lady? Yeah. I'm pretty sure she ah ditched us and she's gone. You can see an image appears and on on the blue tapestry of the first ah mirror that was activated.
02:27:34
Speaker
And you can see that she, alongside of Marion, are being escorted by a a legion of soldiers on two different opposing sides marching towards a castle. is like There's like a camera, like as a drone that's following the action, showing you what she's doing.
02:27:49
Speaker
just for but actually not Just for fun, because we haven't heard from Kimmy in a hot minute. Kimmy, can you describe just some action shots that maybe like a montage that just drone footage captures that they watch in real time? Do you remember in the Wonder Woman movie where she's crossing no man's land? And it's like that slow camera pan.
02:28:09
Speaker
And she's just marching through and she's got the armies behind her and she's just got this look like she's determined on her face as she's getting ready to overthrow the castle. And, you know, she's telling um everyone about how rude the King of France was to her. And this is going to be hers now as emissary for New Zealand. And she is going to claim this.
02:28:33
Speaker
ah So yeah, so time jumped to like, i don't know, like ah six months ahead. Like, have you already toppled the government and you're in charge? I have toppled the government and I am in charge. And you just see Tarland sitting on the throne and she's just like leaned back, relaxing, just, you know, she doesn't look poised, but she still does.
02:28:56
Speaker
Arm over the head, like, you know, yes, this is the life. This is everything I've ever dreamed of. Where's Marion? Is Marion still with you? Marion's right next to me in a little throne made just for him. Yeah, yeah there's like there's like i knew it there's like ah there's like a bunch of like concubines that are feeding him grapes.
02:29:17
Speaker
They're dipping they're dipping is the grapes in mud and then putting them in his mouth. he's like ah this is nina looks at maryland can can we go to a different universe instead of our universe because i don't want to go to this one ah is there like a option button menu who are you asking that maryland maryland that's standing there like a showy girl yeah like, oh, yes, of course, darling.
02:29:47
Speaker
Anywhere you'd like to go, Miss Princess. um And she starts like just like like slot machining the lever on the side, like just kind of seeing where it lands. um ah So yeah, wherever you want it to land is where it – I mean, there's tons of them in the room. She she walks up kind of like Vanna whiting it and just like, this one goes to Mars in the year 3000.
02:30:11
Speaker
um And just kind of like, just like starts showing you like the different screens they go through. So pretty much wherever you want to land. She's like, oh, this one takes you straight to the throne of Poseidon. While we were watching that scene play out with Darlin, ah number six is...
02:30:26
Speaker
is just like on his, he like drops to his knees know and he cannot believe what he's seeing. as Not only is like time rapidly, you know, he's like seeing it play back and like really, you know, like fast forwarding. Right. Right. That's what I imagined. And not only that, but he sees his like, you know, his, his leader get toppled and like, yeah and not only do the wars fucking continue,
02:30:52
Speaker
They're just so much worse now and so much more violent. Yep. That's what I imagine.
02:31:00
Speaker
That's probably valid. yeah it like at ah ah what Well, fuck. I forget what my own character's name is. Fucking Durson walks up. Yeah. He like walks up to number six on the floor and he like drops the gold statue and goes, cra and he ah yeah he says to Durson, or he says to number six, we could go anywhere we want.
02:31:20
Speaker
Number six. So let's go to before she conquered France.
02:31:27
Speaker
Number six wipes the tears from his eyes. He stands back up and he does that badass handshake thing. Yeah, another one. Let's go. Yeah. yeah And he goes forearm handshake. yeah He says, you're right.
02:31:43
Speaker
I can't believe I ah lost myself like that. We all do in the heat of the moment. I love you, man. You're like a brother to me. it just met It's like he goes for a left. this So like we go the ah right forearms are gripped. goes for like a left. Like what's the arm wrestle? I was going to go like so they they're shaking both hands.
02:32:05
Speaker
So like the left one goes into the you know the Arnold ah Carl Weathers head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. i like Right. Let's do the shit. Do you know how bad it is there?
02:32:17
Speaker
I'll be fine. I conquered the music industry in my own place. Right. I need a new avenue for my creative influences to flourish.
02:32:28
Speaker
I'm going to look to Marilyn. right Listen, you got to take care of this girl. She can't come with us. Oh, sure, honey. I'm clean and sober now. I can take care of it.
02:32:42
Speaker
Nina.
02:32:45
Speaker
Yeah, you're very strong, etc., etc. I'm bad at this.
02:32:52
Speaker
I'm bad at this. ah He's going to take a he's goingnna um he's going to take the like a battery or something from his ah like stupid-ass particle accelerator and hand it to her.
02:33:07
Speaker
Okay. And be like, never forget me. And he's going dive into the fucking mirror. Oh, shit. ah yeah Do you say anything to Nina? Durson, he's going to look to Nina, and he's just going to give her a fist bump.
02:33:23
Speaker
Okay, yeah. and then and then and then And then he's going to like dolphin dive his way into there. um maybe Maybe he like, wait wait, maybe he like, like writes on a like a piece of paper his phone number and gives it to Marilyn Monroe before a dolphin diving into the mirror.
Heroic Decisions and Timeline Challenges
02:33:39
Speaker
He's like, call me.
02:33:41
Speaker
see I'll never forget you, Darson. I'm your biggest fan. He has like crooked teeth. Yeah, it so and you jump into the, you dolphin dive into the portal. Yeah, after after his new buddy, number six.
02:33:58
Speaker
Okay, ah you guys land in the portal. ah You guys end up ah in this in this battle. um And then ah like you kind of land in a weird nexus like where like time is trying to fight with like what is and what was and what can be.
02:34:18
Speaker
and You guys land there and you see all these different realities that have like shattered into a thousand different pieces standing before you. And you see images of like hordes of demonic beings marching on other countries.
02:34:33
Speaker
um You see... ah ah other like Marion becoming this despot ah you should you see you see Darlin ah just like making all like collecting crowns to be the ultimate Empress of Earth um and all the demons including Jeff Estopheles and Michael Leligan bowing before her and then you see another one where like time is still and it's peaceful and there's no war
02:35:05
Speaker
um going on and you have a choice. either You can try to undo what has been done or seek the universe that has branched off from it where no war has ever started. No.
02:35:17
Speaker
We must undo what has been done. is our prerogative. Couldn't have said it better myself. head towards You head towards the hordes of of monsters?
02:35:29
Speaker
Yeah, ideally towards an earlier point in time before she had that much power. yeah he's Yeah, he's got his Ithaca Model 37 in hand, chainsaw on the other hand, and mouth on his bagpipe flute.
02:35:41
Speaker
And so begins a side adventure where you guys encounter different characters demonic being and time entities that say in order to undo this you must do this you must defeat me you must defeat this thing and so they send you on a series of side quests that ultimately bonds you closer as brothers and lead you to the ultimate point where darlin is pulled from time once again marion is pulled from time once again and placed to defend the timeline that she has wrought again
02:36:17
Speaker
while you guys look to undo all the hard work that she has put in to overthrowing. um So to end for you guys, before we jump to Nina to round out the episode, Nina or Darlene, what is something that you would say after they have worked their way through to unravel the timeline that you've created?
02:36:34
Speaker
What is something that you guys say when you, yes, to let you when you rock onto Electric Avenue to meet each other ah for your final battle? What is something that you would say to them?
02:36:47
Speaker
Did I say Nina? Darlene is what I meant to say. I don't know what what name I said. Okay, so Darlene is going to walk up and she has one crown on her head and she looks very regal and distinguished and she's got a sword at her side and she pulls it out and be like, you really want to do this? I have perfected the world and created world peace.
02:37:09
Speaker
I don't know what game you're playing at or what timeline you came from. But this is unacceptable. And me having all the armies at my back, you cannot defeat me. There is merely but two of you.
02:37:22
Speaker
a It only takes half a tank of chainsaw fuel to take you out, though. He says as he lifts up his chainsaw. That's like now attached to his hand because he lost it during the war.
02:37:36
Speaker
I have to learn how to one hand my bagpipes because of you, butch. I'll never forget this. Yeah, no way. Darling, you yeah it's I can't believe it. You know, I've never thought of it that way.
02:37:51
Speaker
I've just never thought of it that way. You know, yeah, you're right. There's world peace. And yeah, so, ah you know, maybe we. ah Oh, hey, what's that behind you? Any points? And he fucking just... You hear a bang and then... Yeah, so you say, what's up behind you? with Brandishing a a cool sword and a sweet crown.
02:38:13
Speaker
We see Durston brandishing like a bagpipe in one hand and a chainsaw attached to his wrist. And we see number six, like, what's up behind you? And he as he draws his particle gun, and then as as you hear a loud bang, the screen goes black.
02:38:26
Speaker
And then we cut all the way back to Nina Sharkey standing next to Marilyn fucking Monroe in time ah that's ah marion's or marilyn monroe's like so dear where would you like to go honey i'm sure this is how i talk ah
02:38:52
Speaker
You know, that one where it was like the Poseidon one, that one looked perfect for me. Is there a way that I can become a shark like my pajamas?
02:39:04
Speaker
I'm sorry, honey. you You want to be a shark? Yeah. Can I be like, can I be like a mer-shark? Like, you know, like those people in the ocean, you know, like they have the mermaid.
02:39:18
Speaker
i don't want like the, i don't want the mermaid tail. I want to be a shark. So like you want to have like human parts on the top and you want to have shark bits on the bottom.
02:39:31
Speaker
Yeah. But then like my face can like transform into a shark if I want to bite somebody. You know what? If only we had the heart of the ocean on us. Wait, I do.
02:39:42
Speaker
I have it right here. Look. Well, Abby, ah but you know what? I don't know what my accent is here, Sharky, Ms. Nina. So I'm just going to talk like this. Okay. um This is like a whole role I'm playing. This is this is a real me.
02:39:55
Speaker
I'm just like a real chill lady. like bathy. I don't even like wearing dresses. I'm a tomboy. and like pants. pants. um I'm embarrassed. I even did that thing where the the vent blows up my dress.
02:40:08
Speaker
I just i I hate that I did it. um and Can I just be real with you, Nina? I get it. This the real me, you know? So anyway, i like this you give me that fucking heart of the ocean. i'm going to turn you into a shark princess. Yes.
02:40:21
Speaker
yes um And so she she manipulates some buttons on the dial, cranks it to the Poseidon world. She puts in like – she's like a hacker all a sudden. She's wearing like these big square glasses like that are taped in the middle. And she's like, can you see like a bunch of data kind of flying up? She did have a very high IQ in real life. did. She was very smart.
02:40:44
Speaker
She was very s smart. So yeah, she's like hacking into this computer system. And then she manipulates us that way. Like Poseidon had another daughter that he that like he didn't originally have. And he puts you in that place.
02:40:56
Speaker
And like he adopts you from like a shark family um who like, ah you know, gives you as like an offering to Poseidon, which he accepts and turns you into ah Nina Shark Princess. Yeah.
02:41:09
Speaker
And ah so she says, all right, honey, I made the timeline for you. All you got to do is jump in there and be the coolest little princess shark you can be. Thank you. She gives ah she like reaches her arms out for a hug.
02:41:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah. She kneels down and gives you a big old squeeze um and says, like, all right, do good things in there, OK?
02:41:31
Speaker
I will, I promise. She kisses her on the cheek and then jumps into the mirror. um Okay. And then ah you jump into the mirror ah as you land in the the the the briny water below.
02:41:45
Speaker
It's cold at first, but then like you feel your body shape and morph. And all of a sudden, it's just like you're outside ah in the open air. It feels normal. It feels relaxed. You feel like you're breathing normal air.
02:41:56
Speaker
You're in this beautiful room ah with all the cool trinkets and baubles that you collected. um You get to meet like um ah King Triton sends his daughter for a play date, this redheaded girl named Ariel.
02:42:10
Speaker
Yeah. and uh and poseidon's like the coolest fucking dad ever um and he gives you legs if you want to ever go on land and just go party for a while as long as you get back home before midnight you can go hang out with the land lovers for little while
02:42:29
Speaker
and uh yeah he just you just have like the coolest fucking life ever as like an underwater princess And he then she becomes Galgara.
02:42:41
Speaker
And then you get kraken for your birthday. Oh man. Yes, please. Uh, and you, and to learn how to go drive it like parallel park it.
02:42:53
Speaker
Um, and, uh, you pass your test with flying colors cause you have access to all the best materials, um, and teachers and you just have the coolest fucking life ever until King Poseidon is assassinated and you become queen Nina of the seven seas.
02:43:12
Speaker
Um, And then I take down Queen Darling. yeah And then creatures crawling out of the ocean to assist number six and Durson as they battle the demon queen Darling.
02:43:30
Speaker
It's like Durson sees the ah creatures come crawling out he like like grins and so ah it goes, I knew you on our side, Nina. Yes. It keeps fighting. It's like the fungged though it's like the like guys from Rohan when they go over the mountain. That's that's what it was and then And then as the screen fades to black is this epic battle of demons, ah underwater folk.
02:43:58
Speaker
ah And number six in Durstan tag team. The screen fades to black. We cut to Marilyn Monroe. She has one more coin left. She puts it in the in the screen.
02:44:08
Speaker
She goes back and she says, I'm going to go be president. And then she hops into, she hops into, ah into the time jail, uh, portal.
02:44:20
Speaker
And then you see all this, these sweet signs of like of Marilyn Monroe running for president. She has a successful reign, uh, eight years, eight year term, two terms that she's served.
02:44:31
Speaker
The country is a utopia from henceforth setting a wonderful standard for little girls and boys across the world. Uh, And everyone lives in peace and harmony because of the brilliance and the yeah the spirit of one Marilyn fucking Monroe.
02:44:47
Speaker
Butter
Reflections on the Adventure
02:44:48
Speaker
emails, bro. Oh my God, I'm crying. Can we have that happen? Really? Like, I want this to happen in real life.
02:44:58
Speaker
And scene.
02:45:44
Speaker
well Does it look good already?