Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Die Seas Ep 1: Whatever Rows Your Boat
49 Plays27 days ago
Meet the "fearsome" pirate "captain" Twyla the Terrible, played by Cass, the eerily familiar drunken scoundrel Jon Pigeon, and the well spoken yet woodsy goblin Thip Fyew as they take to the seas, but not by their own choice! They've been captured and forced to work aboard a ship by the nefarious Captain Dimetrius Rundrig and his first mate Jack! Listen to find out if these three weirdos can escape indefinite servitude!
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome and Setup
00:00:00
Speaker
Good morning. Good afternoon. Welcome, ah dearly beloved. We're gathered here today to listen to some bullshit that we are making up on the spot. um None of this is real. Um, and you're listening to four people say random stupid things, uh, while you diddle yourself or do the dishes.
00:00:19
Speaker
Um, I hope nobody is diddling themselves to this. What you do while you listen to this? That would be really weird. That would fucking scare me. They're not doing it, you know, to the pod. They're just doing, you just say, Oh, I want to diddle myself. I want something in the background, you know?
00:00:32
Speaker
No. What do you do when you listen to the podcast? Leave it in the comments below. We don't have comments below. how do we do comments normal people would listen to music, I think. but Go to our website, fondestellersnetwork.biz and leave us a message.
00:00:46
Speaker
What do you do when you listen? How, what, what, how do you listen to when you diddle yourself? How long? yeah that too do and Do it, do the two parter. What do you listen to or what do you do when you listen to us? And what do you do when you diddle yourself? And I will, I'll read the, the answer on next to episode. Top five and we'll make sure to leave your name, address and phone number.
00:01:08
Speaker
um Yes. so we can find you
Character Introductions
00:01:10
Speaker
later. yeah okay Anyway, so we're playing ah kind a little bit of a Dungeon World. we're playing Dungeon World and because we love it. It's just a good game.
00:01:20
Speaker
know um And one of the one of the creators is a dumbass. It's making a weird thing in my head. yeah thanks yeah um Anyway, you know either way, here we go. We're playing Dungeon World. We're doing some sort of seafaring bullshit right now.
00:01:34
Speaker
So everybody, here's what's happening. The three characters that are in this world today, they've been They've been kidnapped. They've been who's and hootenand. They've been hide. They've been shanghaied.
00:01:46
Speaker
um They've been drugged and or clubbed over the head. And they're going to be waking up on a ship out at the sea and they're being forced to work. This is a thing that actually used to happen to people. Isn't that crazy? when't you we We like to complain about our lives.
00:01:59
Speaker
how would you like to wake up out in middle the ocean with some stinky men telling you to row a boat? I mean, it still happens. It does. know ah kind of Honestly, guys, the world still is shitty.
00:02:13
Speaker
Not just because of an old man. Nowadays, you just get stolen to be like sex trafficked and shit. Sex trafficked. Cass, keep it fucking light. Come on, now. and I'm just saying. That's the reality of these days. Hey, do you want to play Dungeon World or what, Cass? Jesus Christ.
00:02:29
Speaker
I'm just being real, yo. Let's go Dungeon World, not Depression World, okay? There's nothing real life. I mean, you were talking about stealing people and hiding them on the ship on the middle of the ocean. and That's not anything. Hide and seek. get All right, Justin, could you please take this to real long? It's under control. We're almost three minutes into the start. We're not going to be hoothies or anything, right? like That's not what we're doing.
00:02:52
Speaker
don't even know what the fuck that is. You don't know what hooth- man. Hit the music. Is that like a gooner? No!
00:03:12
Speaker
Ha ha ha.
00:03:29
Speaker
We're attacking Yemen because of the... Whatever, fuck. but Guys, read the news. Read the news of this. Yeah, I haven't seen that news yet, so let's talk about that after. Yeah. Justin, describe the scene. Let's describe did the Fuck off with that, man.
00:03:45
Speaker
my thing Why are you on edge today, Justin? I'm not. I'm all on edge. Why are you edging us today, Justin? I'm in a special mood. I already edged myself, okay? Thank you very much. I'm all out. He's blue-balled. I need to post on clarity for the episode today.
Navigating the Ship
00:04:00
Speaker
um Fucking derailed. Anyway, so listen, everybody. Tell me about your characters. Adam, who and what are you playing? I am playing a little goblinman. oh um He is the ranger playbook, or class, I guess they call him in this game, right? Yeah.
00:04:18
Speaker
He's a ranger. he has an owl friend named Owl Bundy. And he's kind of like a a grouchy little little owl that sometimes hangs out with me. um But I'm a very well-spoken goblin ah ranger, and I like to hunt. And I don't know how I ended up on this ship that we're on, but I'm here, and I'm just trying to make the best of it.
00:04:38
Speaker
That's all you can do. Wow. What a little guy. What do you what do you look like as a goblin? I mean, I'm very green. Like, it's like like almost neon green. I'm like, I practically glow in the fucking dark.
00:04:51
Speaker
um You know, and, ah you know, I'm i'm short of stature, pointy of ear, sharp of teeth, and of wit. And, um yeah. and i um And I wear a little loincloth to cover up my region.
00:05:07
Speaker
And sometimes I make, like, little sashes out of leaves and twigs to feel fancy. Do you have a curly, cute little like whisper hair like your picture does on the row 20?
00:05:18
Speaker
ah Sure. what I don't know. He doesn't he doesn't know it his he doesn't he doesn't know what his hair head looks like because he's never seen his own reflection. So he doesn't know. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Cool. He doesn't have mirrors where he comes from.
00:05:29
Speaker
He just he lives in the woods. He lives in the woods. Okay. yeah That's great. um And Cass, what is all about you and your character? ah So I'm playing Twyla, the Terrible, and she is a human bard.
00:05:46
Speaker
She's all dressed up in her normal pirate outfit, you know, with um she's got like a weird one of those, you know, those um horns that they have in the military just has like the circle and then it has like the horn on one end and then like the mouthpiece on the other. And then they go. Yes.
00:06:07
Speaker
yes Okay, so she has one of those on her hip, and then she has just like a small short sword on her other hip. And then she also has like a capuchin monkey that is just her little companion. You know, he sits on her shoulder and steals things out of people's pockets for her um She's got sandy blonde hair with green eyes. She's very chesticled with...
00:06:36
Speaker
And dreads us just, you know, here and there, not ah full dreads. It's just like one or two here with her beads. um And then, of course, her awesome pirate hat with a skull on the front.
00:06:50
Speaker
Epic. But she doesn't have to her weapons at the current moment because she got kidnapped. you've been shanghaied and um yeah She's kind of mad that she doesn't have her her weapons right now. You had me at chesticles. All right.
00:07:03
Speaker
um David, David, David, the jas go tell me.
00:07:11
Speaker
uh my character is uh john's john pigeon he's he's he wears a nice uh white shirt he's uh in some pants he looks a little ragged because he's been kidnapped um he's a human he's white that's his race and uh Yeah, that's, I mean, yeah, so he's a, yeah, you get the joke, right? Right, audience? you what his hair What's his hair and his facial appearance look like? His hair is like, he's got, like, I don't know, what is, what is, ah what is there what does our, what does our man have? pretty much what Like dreadlocks or Not like dreadlocks, but he has like braided hair or something like that, I don't know. I think his he's like somewhere between dreadlocks and just ratty matted hair.
00:07:57
Speaker
Yeah, he just looks very shitty. Do you wear you wear a guyliner? Of course oh not, because that would be that'd be i be calling into question his sexuality.
00:08:08
Speaker
Yes. Or you know whether he just likes looking good. I mean, guys, I've got say, I saw a picture Jack Sparrow the other day. He looks good in that guy later. they much Much like our vice president. But John Pidgeon does not quite like Jack Sparrow. I don't even know why we're talking about Jack Sparrow, because that's not who John Pidgeon is.
00:08:26
Speaker
Either way, um that's great that he looks like That's fucking Roy. What kind of class character sheet John? He's a fighter. He's a fighter. He's a real fighter. He's a real fighter. He's like Keith Urban. He'd be the fighter, huh?
00:08:38
Speaker
Yep. He'll go. He'll do fist to cuffs with anybody. Keith Urban looks like Jack Sparrow. That's cool. Do you guys agree? No. when um no I mean, side by side, do it. People at home, leave us a comment if you think Jack Sparrow and Keith Urban look alike.
00:08:54
Speaker
And remember to click like and subscribe. Don't forget to like, i hit that notification bell. um Leave a comment down below. It really helps the channel out. Okay. Anyway, so you guys, um you guys wake up and then we you don't remember what you were doing last, where you were last.
Strategizing Escape
00:09:10
Speaker
um And we can if you wanted to make up a place you came from, like I did make a map, but you can be from, like it's just one section of the ocean and the seas and the lands. So you can be from anywhere you want, and I'll make it up later.
00:09:22
Speaker
um But you wake up, and oh man, and if the the floor is rocking, don't come and knock, and you must have been really drunk. but wait a second, you do feel maybe hungover and or headachy because you got hit on the head and or hit in the gut with a bunch of alcohol and or drugs, but you smell salt sea ocean and you hear...
00:09:42
Speaker
whatever seagulls sound like when they're following a ship because they're let's eat some of this puke people are throwing up they sound like this they no that's a crow something that's like a raven no they like to go clubbing they go uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh what is i have to with cloud i don't know we've been doing too much bullshit already um anyway so you guys are like whoa i think i'm on the ocean And you open your little peepers up and lo and behold, there's a bright sun shining down on you.
00:10:11
Speaker
And you're, I'm going to say you're laying around on the deck. um Let's go. we didn't you guys say that Did everybody say their names? I feel like adam you didn't say your name. Oh shit, did I not say my name? Oh fuck, you know you're right, I didn't.
00:10:24
Speaker
My name is Thip Few. Wow. Okay. Thip for short. That's a sound that the bows make when it shoots air. We're all going to do our first roll of the day.
00:10:36
Speaker
First roll of the day. Everybody, let's all roll. Is there like an actual like thing for, let's see. my um um no You want us to roll before you knew what you want us to roll? No, I didn't know there was any like actually. where yeah and Excuse me. My own realities. No, you're going to roll a constitution roll, everybody, for me.
00:10:57
Speaker
Just straight up your constitution. How do you roll a It says make some move. i Armored. I rolled eight on constitution. Holy shiznit.
00:11:08
Speaker
I can't see this. Why can't I not read this? Oh my god, David. What is your problem? What's happening with you? What's wrong? You wrote a six. What are you talking about reading? can't see the result. Oh no. um let's base it on you got a six. that's great You guys are just have to read it for me, I guess.
00:11:24
Speaker
I'll read it for you, David. i'll be you Oh, you have to take it out of dark mode. I don't want to. I know I didn't either, but that was the only way I could read it. Light mode forever. Light mode forever. The emoji of the guy going, ah, and then decinerating that emoji. Remember emoji? Anyway, with an 8-5-few, you wake up and you're pretty groggy, but you get with it pretty quickly. You're going to be to discern your realities here around you.
00:11:52
Speaker
um Johnny Pigeon and Twyla the Terrible, you guys got a six, therefore you're like, it's really, that whatever they did with you really hit you. Can I mark an XP? Taking you a minute. um Do we get get No, that's not how this game works.
00:12:05
Speaker
Wait, know what the fuck? Are you serious? yeah Fuck off, David. Quit with that shit. You get XP points from ah fulfilling alignment bonds if we made any, and make bonds.
00:12:19
Speaker
Oh, yeah, we didn't make bonds. Yeah, we don't know each other. I mean, you could have known each other, we don't. Yeah, that's just going to come. My chaotic alignment says to free someone from literal or figurative bonds. Oh. Perfect for where you are because everyone's in bonds. Indeed. Anyway, all right, so that's great. Thipfew, you can you can um you wake up kind of first amongst your peers.
00:12:39
Speaker
um You can peer around if you'd like. and you know I mean, is it do I see anything in my immediate vicinity aside from just, I mean, how many people are laying on the deck with us? um There's probably two other people that they they shanghaied along with you guys just because you know there's lot of people in the MCs around that they stole.
00:12:54
Speaker
Are we just tied to the mast or something on the bottom or are we just laying on the ground? You're just in a cuddle puddle. You're on the ground. Probably your little arms are tied. probably in front of you just so they can lay you all on your backs.
00:13:06
Speaker
But yeah, you're just laying there. You kind of wake up. They're like probably laying against some sacks and shit up by like the like the front of the ship or something, you know? Oh, dear. I appear to have ingested some awful berries.
00:13:19
Speaker
Hmm. that how you talk? That's how I talk, yes. um I'm a very sophisticated person. I'm really tired of this happening to me. I'm just saying.
00:13:29
Speaker
ah you're you too groggy to be talking like that. All she sounds like is this. a ra ra ah die you guys four um if and around And a big, a big bald man, a big bald, muscly. Also, his race is also white human.
00:13:46
Speaker
um He comes down, but he's he's very tan and sweaty from the, from the sea sun. And he's got like a little tank top on ah like kind loose fitting, like sleeveless little shirt and some brown pants.
00:13:57
Speaker
And he's carrying a whip and he's like, boy, are you waking up day? Oh, green little fellow. Huh? boy Keep it down. I say. Oh, that's unnecessary. kicks kicks he kicks oh ah Quiet, I say it. I'm talking to the green testicle-headed man here. oh I'm gonna puke.
00:14:19
Speaker
ah Well, I say, if you puke, can I save it for later? That's so gross. Goblin, I'm talking to you! um yeah Sorry, apologies. I just wanted to make sure that I was gonna be able to snack later.
00:14:31
Speaker
ah It's very rare that I get to have man puke. ah What was your question? and He whips you. ah ah ya know you did and noted let me get turn with that whip after you oh god get on your feet gobbling you're first one to wake up you might be a used to you go you look like a little are you as skinny as your picture looks uh yeah i i mean i'm i'm more agile i mean i'm not like skin and bones but yeah i like twig and bone but yeah you know stronger spirit maybe get up Ah, yes, my spirit is quite strong.
00:15:03
Speaker
hey and And what can I do for you? can Hey, mister, where the heck are we? ah Take a look around, idiot. mean, I know we're on a boat and on the ocean, obviously, but yeah i I quite frankly can't remember how I got here.
00:15:20
Speaker
Oh, that's not a canner. even You've been spirited away. Yamiyoshi Habamori, whatever that guy's name is.
00:15:29
Speaker
Spirited? like Is this like some sort of limbo punishment? Yes, you've died and now you're on no the seas of limbo and you're waiting to see if you go and he points in front of the to Evan and he points behind his ship or to El. well, I don't want to go to Evan or El right now. That doesn't sound good.
00:15:51
Speaker
And then as he's after as you say that, a little ah little black salamander with yellow spots comes out of nowhere and lands on his head. And he's like, ah, go, Jack, I'm just so just fucking with the newbies. And then from above you, you hear, shit, i got to remember how to do this voice now.
00:16:06
Speaker
All right. that That's not it at all. I'm theme. All right. Hey, show up down there. Thrasher, you son of a bitch. Go whip the rowers. Don't be talking to the, what is that?
00:16:20
Speaker
Booger man. Don't be talking to him. Booger, look at me. I say, i've ive I assume you mean I, as in Booger man. I do. um Help that, um,
00:16:32
Speaker
That fella with the long hair. Wait, um but there's two people beside you. One of them ah looks like a woman with a beard and the other one looks like a fella with tits.
00:16:44
Speaker
They look like they're, can you help them up? They look like they're waking up. Wake, you too. Wake up. Well, I need, well, I, yes, um quite. um But also, I'm sorry, you look you're looking, if you' are you looking are you are you looking up at the voice that's speaking to you?
00:16:57
Speaker
Yes, obviously. The voice has a body to it. um it's ah It's a stout, rotundish ah dwarven fellow with a big bushy beard of dark hair. um He's got like sort of like a um like a tannish, probably sure. He's just wearing tan shirt doesn't get sunburnt. But he's good got the front of it it kind of popped open as so his curly ah dwarf chest hairs are hanging out.
00:17:18
Speaker
um I guess not really because you can't say because a beard. But if the beard blows in the wind, you see his curly dwarf chest hair. looks like he's still got a beard there. Um, and he's, he's, uh, he's got his hand on the steel on the steering wheel of the ship and he says, uh, what he said to you.
00:17:32
Speaker
And then, yeah. Okay. I'm going to let out like a little bit of like, uh, like like ah like kind of like I'm humming like a tune as like, I look over, like, I'm just going to ask him like, Oh, so you wish for me to help up these, uh, these other captors you do. Yes. Yes.
00:17:50
Speaker
Captives, but yeah. Aye. Yes, right. Yes, of course. Captives, right. Obviously. Yes, of course. and we don't i you know, well, I got to do the whole spiel to you. We don't like to use the word captives or slaves, you know. But yeah, get the help them we get up. and Get the they did the two other two people are there waking up to you there.
00:18:08
Speaker
um There's like, ah I guess there's a um an elfin guy. And doesn't really matter. They're probably going to die. I'm going I'm going to hum a little tune it's in the in the in the ter as I'm like looking up at that guy. as like Just saying like little hoot hoot hoots because I'm trying to send a code to my little owl friend but to fly under the ship and ah bite the bindings off of, I don't know, whichever one is closest to him to like start snipping away at the ropes while I'm talking to this guy, this dwarf.
00:18:40
Speaker
Okay. Do you have to Jenga something for that to call your guy? ah Well, i can I can have him do a couple of different things. um So essentially... was imagining that they didn't like bring him with you because why would they capture an owl? So I imagine he's kind of probably been following or something. Yeah, I imagine so too. He's just like waiting for me to kind of figure out what the F I'm doing.
00:19:00
Speaker
um So yeah, I am going to... ah Just have him fly in, I guess. I don't really... um He has two cunning,
Challenges and Development
00:19:10
Speaker
which is kind of what he can use to be stealthy because he is a has a high stealth roll.
00:19:15
Speaker
um So I can just roll a stealth roll and give it his bonus on top of my bonus and then see if... He gets two bonuses? Yeah, he he if I read it right, ah certain instances in which he puts his bonus on my bonus.
00:19:29
Speaker
Or I can just roll my roll and give him his bonus, which is a plus two. That sounds like a defy danger, I think, for him to fly in. Yeah, sure. Make him do it.
00:19:41
Speaker
What do you want me to roll? you want to be just whatever? Defy danger, whatever. You can do whatever you want.
00:19:48
Speaker
What stats should I use? Whatever you want. to get thats do you Do you forget how this game works, Adam? Yes. Well, if that's a 9 for me, plus 2s, that's an 11 for Owl Bundy. Okay.
00:19:59
Speaker
I'll fly in and start snipping away. I don't know. You pick whoever's closest. I don't care. How succeeds? That doesn't matter, I guess. um John Pigeon or Twyla? Whichever one you think it'd Pigeon, Twyla. Each row you roll a D6. Quick. It's an audio-only podcast. Quick.
00:20:12
Speaker
That's who Al Bundy's going to go. D6. D6. Quick. it Slash roll. Oh, my God. nice like Quick. David got a four.
00:20:22
Speaker
She five. Okay, Twyla's the one. got a five. All right, so the owl buddy flies in and starts snipping away at the bindings on Twyla. Are our feet bound or is it just our hands? Just your hands. All right, so he's going to – and I was going to fly in behind Twyla and just start like viciously just like ripping away at the ropes while I'm talking to this guy. So Twyla, you're laying there on the ground kind of sideways probably. You're waking up and then something big – something fluffy comes up behind you and you feel it tugging at the ropes. Actually, good and and yeah, and the ropes are behind you because they –
00:20:52
Speaker
Your tits are too big. they couldn't tie you up to the front. They couldn't tie you up to the front. There's some fluffy ripping at you. The thing's behind you. Probably scratching your hand in your hands a little bit because it's got its beak and its claws trying to get at you.
00:21:04
Speaker
ah Do you react to this at all in your slightly groggy state? ah No, she'll probably just remain like acting like she's still ah trying to wake up and she's going to open her eyes just slightly to make sure that she's still clothed.
00:21:21
Speaker
Excellent. You are. Okay. Also, I guess there's probably six things there because they would have captured your monkey too thinking could probably do work. So your monkey's there tied up next to you. He's got little ropes around his tiny ears. They've got his mouth gag. He's just kind of sleeping because I'm going to imagine woke up pretty early and was going, doing monkey screams and they like, shut that thing up.
00:21:42
Speaker
So they gagged it. That's happening to you. And let's say, John Pigeon, you're also waking up. There's people yelling all around you. What do you want to do with yourself here? There's a green ah man standing over you.
00:21:54
Speaker
I want to go back to sleep. Alright. Gone Pigeon goes back to sleep. Roll a... Roll a constitution roll.
00:22:04
Speaker
Seven. Seven. yeah Yeah, I mean, you're you're closing your eyes. You're not really able to fall back to sleep, though. How much going on? think everybody needs to shut up. I'm so fucking tired.
00:22:15
Speaker
Why don't you shut Alright, listen. Everybody, pay attention to me now, all alright? no look at it Look at me! wait and Get that titty lady up. Stand up. i want to i want to I want to reach in my into my pocket and pull out my flask.
00:22:31
Speaker
um Okay, you can do that. Do I have my flask on me Yeah, they probably wouldn't be really worried about that. No, actually, roll a defy danger with whatever you want. I don't care.
00:22:42
Speaker
Strength. Nine, damn it. ah Yeah, you got you had you probably have like a secret little pouch or a compartment in your vest or whatever. You keep that in and no one found it because you're a drunkard.
00:22:53
Speaker
i want to I want to chug it. I envision like ah like ah you know like one of those small little shot things. yeah What do you call them? Like a one-hitter, but for like drinking. yeah aye and I don't want to drink it and then I want to chuck it at Dim or wherever the fuck it is. um Okay, roll a volley. Okay.
00:23:12
Speaker
I missed. I got a six. Hey, all right. um Um, get this guy. And then, uh, you get whipped. ah and Oh, you know what? we We're going to, I think it's the same time you got. No, Adam got whipped once. I'm going to start doing damage for these whips now. im Just saying, just saying, uh, where's the, oh I took one harm. ah don't know how this works. one d six You got two harms.
00:23:33
Speaker
Oh, i have 20 health left. Um, you get my spine. And, uh, I have, uh, so, uh, yeah, the, the guy standing at the helmet of the ship says, all right, listen up here. You're, as I'm seeing some new faces, this is great.
00:23:47
Speaker
Welcome to the ship. Uh, you're all aboard the iron fist. That's me ship. Um, you've already seen Thrasher there. He's whipping you. Um, And you've met, ah where did me lizard go? And then the black little salamir comes back up to his shores. Oh, there's me lizard. This is Jack. He's the first mate. He's kind of, he'll tell you, well, he won't tell you. hes He can't talk.
00:24:06
Speaker
He used to talk a lot of shit. So I cut his tongue out and now i can't talk anymore. ah My name is Demetrius, Captain Demetrius Rundrig. I am your boss. then Then after me, Jack is your boss.
00:24:18
Speaker
And then Thrasher after him, because he's going to whip the shit out of you. um You see look behind you and if you do look there's a like a bunch of rows of benches and there's like bunch people Rowan there is like a little mass on the ship with a sail But there's not a lot of winds they got people rowing right now um That's gonna be like your main job is Rowan Thresher will keep me keep you going good if you turn a tire out He'll give you a weapon like Thresher whip the old man ah front left.
00:24:41
Speaker
It's like oh boy any and That's what that's kind of what your job's gonna be um and I was telling the little green man, we don't like to say, and know you're obviously, you didn't want to come here. We brought you here against your volition, but you're not slaves.
00:24:57
Speaker
ah You're not like, you're not like prisoners.
Plot Progression and Conflict
00:25:00
Speaker
You're like indentured servants. know, you're working for your freedom. Look, a thrasher there. He used to be just like you, but he made his way to the top. Now he's doing the whipping. He actually killed the guy who used to do the whipping.
00:25:11
Speaker
um boy So, you know, it's at least ah three to five years of hard, grueling ah forced labor, and you'll be able to become like free, fresher. and well He's really the only guy who's really ever survived and and or made it long enough and or done enough to make me want to keep him but around.
00:25:25
Speaker
But either way, I mean, someday you'll be able to get off the ship, maybe, if I like you enough. I think one of my favorite things you say so far is, you're working for your freedom. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:25:38
Speaker
Aye? I was a captain of my own ship and you stole me from my crew. oh those days are long gone, sister, let me tell you. um You're now not really part of the crew, I guess. You're just you're you're like the engine of the ship.
00:25:53
Speaker
You make the thing go. um So, yeah. Oh, and and in and no, and no, no, no. This will not do. This will not do. I ran my own crew with my own ship, and I am Twyla the Terrible. Do you not know who I am?
00:26:09
Speaker
um why don't you roll parlay to see if I've heard of you? Ugh. Ugh. Everybody's heard of me.
00:26:23
Speaker
Thirteen. Holy shit, um... Oh, guys. Oh, my God. ah we've got We've got a real good one here. I cannot ah canly believe it. where is Where is old Grabsack McJohnson?
00:26:36
Speaker
And then a guy like a this little like crunched hunched over like kind of older man comes up with like ah like ah like a twisted little one hand. he's got like He's carrying a sack over his his his shoulder. he's like like, yes. um Grabsack, you know who you grabbed last night.
00:26:50
Speaker
Twyla freaking the terrible. Look at her right there. Thrasher, give me your hat. I really like that hat. um And then Twyla Thrasher comes up behind you to take your hat. What do you what do you want to do? Also, hands are probably unbound by now.
00:27:02
Speaker
She's going to take her hat back. you're gonna let him grab and Do you know it is an offense to take a captain's hat? I could kill you for that.
00:27:12
Speaker
Can I have can i have ah Owl Bundy snipping off John Pigeon's bindings while this is going on? Yeah, go ahead and do a roll for that like you did before. Well, I was just hoping to have him just stick that same roll since no one knows he's there. He's got to sneak. He's not right there. He's going to sneak across the ship again and make sure nobody's still seeing him. Ah, Jesus Christ. Everybody's on alert.
00:27:34
Speaker
didn't It doesn't show me yet. What'd you get? Mm-hmm. I didn't roll it yet. Oh, I heard a little bit. That might have been Discord. So that's a nine total. Ooh, okay. So he's um he's he's he starts to flutter over there.
00:27:45
Speaker
don't know. Is he going to fly across? He's just doing like a little bird hop. Like trying to hop between crates and shit. Okay, so either I'm going to say either um he walks past the monkey and pisses the monkey off the monkey makes a noise, or...
00:27:58
Speaker
um He's going to take longer at the hands of John Sparrow and maybe hurt John Sparrow a little bit. I don't mind if he hurts John Sparrow. I just want him to get his hands. He's drunk. He don't feel nothing anyway. All right, John Pigeon.
00:28:14
Speaker
So you feel something scratching at your wrist. He bites you for five? Jesus Christ. And takes something really grabbing at your hands behind you and like trying to claw out like your ropes. So you you can tell it's pulling your ropes.
00:28:26
Speaker
what Chomp down there! No, you! And and then Twyla, road defy danger for yourself, whatever you want to roll it with, to try and get your hat off ah Thrasher as he pulls off your head.
00:28:37
Speaker
And all this calamity. You just hear like, hoo-woo, hoo-woo, hoo-woo. It's like like, this thing's like biting at your robes. Oh my god, why does your owl say hoo-woo? He says hoo-woo, he's an owl.
00:28:47
Speaker
He's an owl, that's what owls say. um All right. So you, you try and grab at it. and I'm going to say either he pulls it away and you, you, ah you fall, but you kind of grab it as you fall on your face or um you try to grab it, but he pulls it away and you don't have it. Those are your two options.
00:29:09
Speaker
ah Option two. Okay. She'll get it back though. Don't you worry. Oh, we got a lively lively one there. I bring that up, Thrasher. And th Thrasher walks up and gives him the hat. He's like, I like this. He puts it on.
00:29:20
Speaker
And he's like, wait, hang on. Wait, how are you using your hands down there, lady?
00:29:28
Speaker
She looks down at her hands, shrugs. I don't know. want to hide up. Oh my God. Where's Tommy Nod? say Thrasher probably did a terrible job with the bindings.
00:29:40
Speaker
Hey, hey. I had no restraints. I'm just saying now you better give me my hat back. all right earlier If you're going to try and sow discord among me crew First of all, point out the right person It's Tommy Knott's over there who does the binding Tommy Knott's, come here!
00:29:53
Speaker
Did you not bind their hands right? And Tommy's like, I've done nothing but bind hands for 30 years I'm the master of binding hands So, dim you know it Obviously not Hey, looks like I'm free too How the hell is this fellow getting free?
00:30:09
Speaker
And then Adam, I know you hate it, but roll one more Defy Danger for the bird and see he gets out of place. Hey, it looks like I'm free, too. What did I say? Tommy Knotts.
00:30:21
Speaker
What was that guy's name? The Grab Sack I can't remember his name. I gave him Grab Sack. It was Grab Sack something balls. What did you say? and Grab Sacked McJohnson.
00:30:31
Speaker
Roll another danger for the bird to not be seen as um everybody looks at John Pigeon because he's talking about being free. want to roll the help out. How's a 12 treat you? That's a 10, Adam.
00:30:43
Speaker
That's a 10, but I also get a bonus. But I add my owl's bonus to that as well. He has a 2. So that bird, he'sing he's gone like the wind.
00:30:54
Speaker
How is everybody? what the Tommy Nuts, are you sure you weren't like using some of the drink that we gave these people? No, I've never fucked up a knot in me life. All right, I'll take your word for it, Tommy Nuts.
00:31:07
Speaker
ah You shouldn't. I say you should kill him.
00:31:11
Speaker
Looks like you're going to need a better captain around here. didn't. didn't. Shut up. It's not my fault. He didn't bind your hands. Right. I'm the captain. I just, he does. It's your fault. you It's all your fault.
00:31:23
Speaker
It's all your fault. Thrasher to give these people weapons. You have done double checked your, your man's work because everybody knows trust, but verify.
00:31:39
Speaker
That's why i I'm a great captain.
00:31:42
Speaker
I'm going to try to, since, ah actually, I think I'm the only one whose hands aren't free because I just i don't go cut everybody else's. I'm like, I'm just gonna say, well, you know, hey, since everybody else is free, hey, Tommy Knott's, could you just loosen mine as well, good sir?
00:32:01
Speaker
Hey, listen, if anybody's given a orders, it's me. Tommy, just unbind this feller because you all are going to go find a place on the benches. Thresher points Twyla the Terrible to an open spot.
00:32:13
Speaker
um And Twyla Thresher's like, all right. He's like, ah come his way then. can't remember he talks. It doesn't matter. Go on. but he was He was more, he was more traditional pirate. Come on. Right over here.
00:32:26
Speaker
Do you follow to the bench? I want my hat back first. ah yeah You gotta work for it, right? I guess if you do a lot of good ruin today, maybe I'll give it back to you to tomorrow.
00:32:39
Speaker
What if I persuaded you otherwise? Um, how would you do that? but She waggles her eyebrows at him. another parlay with charisma. Okay.
00:32:55
Speaker
A parlay with charisma. Okay. Oh, fuck. Thanks for failing. I don't want to do an ERP today. That's like my highest stat too. Listen lady, I can go wherever I want and bang whatever hoot I want to bang on any dock.
00:33:11
Speaker
ah Don't need you. Thank you very much. And also I've heard all the stories about you. um I've already got about one, two, three, three or four venereal diseases. I don't want to get the other six. Okay. ah I don't know what you're talking about those, but I know you've heard about all the tricks that I can do. And she just like tosses her hair over her shoulder and waggles her hips as she follows the guy. look back and forth between me and John Pidgeon and I look up at Dim and go, well, what about the two of us? And I wiggle my eyebrows.
00:33:44
Speaker
i Get the hell. Green boy, go sit by that old man up the front left. I got whipped. Go sit up by him. And ah you, drunken feller, um I get it. Drink is great. I love ale and grog and mead and all the other varieties that comes in.
00:33:59
Speaker
But you got chill out, man. I mean, Jesus, we we didn't have to even give you any like of the of this of the herbal drugs to knock people out. we just You just went out on your own. Yeah, this isn't the first time I've been picked up. you got i mean I mean, I'm no one to tell anyone what to do, but I think you've got a problem, mate. That's coming from me.
00:34:20
Speaker
Yeah, you're a slaver, so... I guess I fucked huh? No, I'm not a slave. I'm a drunkard, too, is what I trying to say. Yeah, I'm a fucking failure. I can't do anything. like well My wife left me. No, don't say that by yourself.
00:34:34
Speaker
No, man, you're all right. wait You know what will get you sobered up and make you feel good about yourself? Some good, hard, ah forced labor. go Go right to that end bench there, and you you can be the back rower. The back rower is the most important rower.
00:34:48
Speaker
Yeah, if I'm the most important, that's fine. And he trips.
00:34:54
Speaker
Thrasher, once Twyla is put in her spot, and I think she's going to probably need the chains. Guys, remember, again,
Tension and Humor
00:35:00
Speaker
not slaves. We try not to chain to the benches, but if you're kind of unruly, it has to happen, and I feel like she's going to unruly.
00:35:06
Speaker
She'll be wiggling that ass all over the place. We need sit still and roll. pressure get that done and then help this feller to his bench and then these other two fuckers i don't even really care they look weak as piss um put them down below deck and they can like i don't know do something i don't really want to see him again ever in my life and we're goingnna forget they ever existed is there anything that i can hide my little goblin ass behind like while like this discourse is going on Probably. There's like barrels and... Can I try to like dip behind something just to kind of like see if his object permanence doesn't work? He just forgets something there. Yeah. um There's not a stealth thing. It'll just be defy danger with your dexterity probably, right?
00:35:42
Speaker
Try and hide. Sure. fine Whatever. That works. All right. Come on. That's a niner. what do you how do you How do you feel about a nine? um Okay, so I'm going to say either you only get to flatten yourself under like one of the benches you were coming near, or um and that's kind of like a shitty place to hide, or you can get to like a better place behind some like boxes that they just loaded onto the ship.
00:36:07
Speaker
But ah you're it's not like fully invisible, you know, there. Let's say that. How's that sound to you? Do you mean like the benches that they're sitting on to row?
00:36:19
Speaker
Yeah. ah Yeah, I wouldn't mind hiding amongst the people. You just drop and roll under a bench. Yeah, i just drop it like, just just like, I just go there was like, what the fuck? um Yeah, I'm just going disappear and just have, just like going like, or just pretend I fell off the ship or something. I don't know. Maybe I'll just leave that up to their imagination where I went.
00:36:35
Speaker
Let's go, yeah. All right. ah New people, um here's how it works. Thrasher is going to yell. Well, he's going to yell row sometimes or pull, but just be keep rowing. You'll see, you'll kind of get the emotion of how everyone does it. Everyone kind of goes in tandem, you know.
00:36:49
Speaker
They've all been doing it for a while. They know the drill. If you kind of lose track, just, you know, Thrasher will give you a good weapon and he you'll be you'll get it. You'll get the rhythm. um But yeah, just pull your oars and it'll be great. We're going um somewhere to do something. All right. That's about all I know. I i can tell you.
00:37:04
Speaker
Just keep going that way. That's good. All right. This is great. This is great. I think we did a good job here. What you say, Jack? all right yeah what you Jack's gone. He's fucked off. Jack has a mind of his... Look out for Jack, guys. Don't step on him.
00:37:18
Speaker
And anything you other guys want to do with your time? Yeah, I'm hiding under a bench. um john Johnny Pigeon, you've been pretty... ah Drunk and disorderly. What do you you want to do anything particular?
00:37:31
Speaker
Yeah, he's going to play dead. or play unconscious. um Like he's passed out drunk. um I guess that would be defy danger with charisma. See if you can act well enough. And you what I'll give you a plus one because though you don't even need a plus one. to you Wow. got an 11. 11?
00:37:50
Speaker
Alright, so what do you do? You just you start you get sit on the bench, you have the oar in your hand, and you just Oh, no, he tripped. He tripped? Oh, you're still from me when you tripped? Okay. And then, boom, and th Thrasher goes to get him, and he's dead weight.
00:38:01
Speaker
He's unconscious. Hey, boss, this guy ain't getting up. What? Yeah, I think he's, uh... He's poking you on your head, and he's like... he He's plastered, boss.
00:38:13
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my God. ah ah yeah yeah yeah ah either Either that guy really is like a horrible, horrible drunk or Grabsack spiked him way too fucking much.
00:38:24
Speaker
Grabsack, get your shit in order if you're giving people too many drugs, man. You've got to calm it down. um and And he says... sir call up Call up the rat. Have him but have him take him down below and we'll see if we can get him medicinalized or whatever.
00:38:40
Speaker
And then they call it they call it down below the deck. alreadyti And a little rat man comes up and he says, Oh yes, where is my next victim? I mean, my patient.
00:38:51
Speaker
And they point to um you, John Pigeon. And the rat man comes over. don't know if you open your eyes a little bit to see him, but there's rat man coming to get you. He's got patchy fur. He wears a little fur cloak over him. It looks also like his own fur.
00:39:05
Speaker
And he wears like pants, probably maybe a shirt, like a vest. And he picks you up with ease. He doesn't give a shit and carries you down below the deck. He probably just drags you by one foot. So like one leg's getting caught on the benches and shit, and you're getting like your hamstrings are pulled out, and your groin's getting stretched a little. Your groin muscles are getting like pulled. all right How many D6s of damage is that? You know you don't take damage. would you already whip your hum so okay here're You're just It's not fun. as Let's just say that. he says He's dragging you down. And then he drags down the steps. don'tt Oh, that's a lot of D6s.
00:39:36
Speaker
But ah yeah, you're down below deck now. Twyla, anything you want to do. You're sitting there at the oars.
00:39:44
Speaker
She's going to be talking shit the whole time while she's rowing. Like, hi can't you guys row any faster? ha. See, I've got this going so much better than you. Ha ha. The guy besides you is Lady Com, we're prisoners. Just like, what are you being mean to us? don't want to be here. And then he gets whipped. She's talking to me.
00:40:05
Speaker
I'm Twyla the Terrible. Don't you know? i don't give a shit. and then whip I'm going to give you a chance now if you want. ah you you If you look back, you kind of see William Whippington. He's getting ready to whip you because you're talking shit.
00:40:18
Speaker
I'm going let you you can do something. If you want, you can defy danger. Do something. Avoid it. Because she's a bard... no Um, she's going to just weave a performance to make, um, their mind shaking clear. Oh, I guess. Let's see Um, what the fuck are you doing?
00:40:44
Speaker
and Can I just like distract him to make him whip somebody else? Um, I guess so. You can sure roll that and see if it works. Okay. Uh, let's see. So,
00:40:58
Speaker
This one, I believe. Arcane Ooh. So she begins to row and she's like, Ah, don't you know that this back is wonderful? You don't want to whip it anymore.
00:41:11
Speaker
It is one of those things that is alabaster from my neck to my toes. You don't want to whip me ever. Okay, so since, well, technically we're using this wrong. You're supposed to be an ally. You're not't supposed to target an ally and give them a bonus. But we'll say you're targeting the guy beside you and giving him a negative. So he's like, hmm, maybe I'll get a chance for And he whips the guy beside you.
00:41:34
Speaker
you say There's a song. there that's it's it's ah I love the opening. like Don't you know that my back is wonderful and you don't want to whip it? He kind of comes up. He's like, so you say you don't want your back whipped, but what about for pleasure?
00:41:52
Speaker
I mean, we might make a deal later. i do like it on the bum. Oh, okay. well actually, I was thinking too, it's kind of like my, I do it every day. I don't really want to do it my fun time.
00:42:04
Speaker
Um, but it might be fun if you did it to me. I never had it done. Well, I did have it done to me in the past, but I mean, you know, haven't done since I started doing it to people, you know? Oh, I'm wonderful at whipping. Don't you even worry. All right. He looks shoulder. like, okay, I think you kind of made him a little curious, even though he so he kind of pushed you off, but, uh, maybe we can do some sort of secret rendezvous one of these nights.
00:42:23
Speaker
Don't you worry, I've got you. We'll have like a little menage trois is what they call it. Who's the third one? My whip? Because don't want him involved. We can have the three of us, don't you know? Not him though, right? I don't want to do a three-way with him.
00:42:40
Speaker
Well, we can pick someone else. It's okay. I mean, what about this guy over here? She points to her, right? Yeah. No, what no i i wanted i just wanted to... be Whatever. is He stands there.
00:42:51
Speaker
He's like... He looks so up to the right. He's like, roll faster. I'm in charge of the deck down here. i love that he's like he's like, I don't want to whip in my personal time. i already do it for work. I don't know.
00:43:06
Speaker
Okay, so you at least got the whipper guy off your back there. That's good. um Literally off your back. Literally. diipp few yeah You're down laying on the deck there. You see everybody's load therere all everybody's little dogs on and the floor in front of you. What do you do?
00:43:19
Speaker
So are the rowers on the ah on the main deck? Yeah, it's not like a super fancy boat. Okay. How big is this boat? Like, could I reasonably get, like, down below somehow, like, in the lower deck?
00:43:32
Speaker
I'm trying to figure out where they stashed my weapon. I need to get my bow. he Yeah, he puts you up near the front. So if you were kind of near where you were supposed to go, you'd be up near the front. Up near the front. How do I get down below? Is there any place, like, on the front? There's also a... Yeah, the other stairs are up near the front, I imagine, to go down.
00:43:48
Speaker
Now, when you say the front, do you mean back where the sail is, or do you mean... i mean, like, the front of the ship where it points to go. Okay. Stern. but yeah Yeah, I say it's sternly. Is that where the front of the boat is? think the stern is the back.
00:44:01
Speaker
I don't know, man. I think it's at the end. I'm pretty sure the stairs are at the stern. This is a different ship. yeah I think the stairs are wherever my goblin's going. So I'm going to try to, since I rolled that stealthy roll, I'm going to try to just like like low crawl my way over towards the stairs and sneak down to where that's why John Pigeon got dragged.
00:44:23
Speaker
That's he your as while you're doing You're doing that at the same time that um he's like talking to her about sex, so that's fine. Yeah. yeah you You slither over to the stairs. You start slithering down, um and you're down below the deck. and You see John Pigeon getting pulled into like behind a curtain and at the other end of the sort of lower deck area.
00:44:43
Speaker
ah You see those two... other randos down there. They're being told to move things around by grab stack McJohnson. Um, what do you Like what's the general crowd look like down here? Like how many people would you say fit below deck?
00:44:56
Speaker
Um, you could probably fit, uh, 10 people comfortably, but there's only like a handful people down here. Now there's like, uh, upstairs is like, there's a few other like hard cases that are, you know, like part of the crew that do like fighting and stuff like that. And or guarding, but you know, there's not like too, too many people down here.
00:45:10
Speaker
Currently a couple of dudes sitting like taking a break. There's, you know, but yeah. I see, I see. Okay. It stinks and smells and is wet down here, nobody likes being down here.
00:45:21
Speaker
Okay. And Kerbal's down here. The rat. The rat man. Yeah. um Okay. So what I would like to do, can I clock like where I think they probably put our weapons at? Like, is there like a box or like a, just like a, like a rack somewhere where they just put shit.
00:45:37
Speaker
Discern some realities for me. This seems like you're going to figure out what the reality is of the situation. That's a big fat 11, baby. I get three questions. I get X and I get plus one when I act towards those answers.
00:45:49
Speaker
Shit. Yeah, go ahead. s I'm an X. I'm an X. Hmm. um What here? oh nope sorry. up my My alarm went off. Sorry about that.
00:46:01
Speaker
Oh, it breaks over, Jimmy. I got to go back up deck. See you later. Bye, Jimmy. I pressed myself against the wall. Time for Jimmy to go to lunch. um um Yeah, they just have like a parrot that makes that noise and they just slap his head like, all right. thomas What here is useful or valuable to me?
00:46:21
Speaker
e.g. my weapons um you see across the way from you back near where the rat man took John Pigeon there's like a little um sort of like a there's like a little closet almost building like off the side with like a little wall around it and but the front of the door is like sort of like a cage cell door kind of thing and there's a chest in there and you might imagine that's where they put the goodies or very least that's what they're trying to hide from you the most so that might be Something to at.
00:46:51
Speaker
right. I want to go. I want to. Is it feasible for me to like dip between barrels and boxes and stuff to get back there? Yeah. Nobody's really interested in what you're doing. So yeah, they're, or they just imagine you're just supposed to be there working. So, um, in fact, grab sex, like, Oh, you better be looking at some boxes and barrels.
00:47:07
Speaker
You green fucker. Who's that? or he doesn't He doesn't see him. So he's like, Oh, there's lurking around here. Pick up them boxes. Uh, yes, ah yeah I need to, I would, it's quite heavy. Please don't help me.
00:47:20
Speaker
Shut up. i was going to pick up like a heavy box and just like waddle back behind the curtain. Oh, you're going behind the curtain. Yeah. going waddle back behind the curtain to where Greville took my guy.
00:47:31
Speaker
Okay. Didn't you say that was bad? Did you say the box like, no, this's it's, it's outside of that. It's all like, it's in this main. All right well I'm going to go and grab my, uh, grab my, my bow and my quiver out of there.
00:47:42
Speaker
okay there's a, there's a big padlock on the cage door. Ah, geez. Ah, geez. Does anybody got keys hanging off their belt? um ah yeah Yeah. Why don't you? i don't know. Do they? Is that one of your questions you want to ask? Yeah. yeah um How about, what should I be on the lookout for?
00:48:04
Speaker
ah a set of keys, probably. And yeah, you know what? Grab Sack McJohnson. Not only is he the grabber of people, but he also he's also the the sacker of all the items down here. he down here? Yeah, he's he's down here. he's so He's one yelling at you to move a box. And he's over there with the two other nondescript people that got abducted
Climactic Moments
00:48:20
Speaker
with you.
00:48:20
Speaker
And... And he's got a little, you hear a jingle jangle of keys at his belt loop side. All right. I'm going to carry that box back behind the curtain so I can see what Crevel and John Pigeon are up to and see if can get some help with that. That's a great. John Pigeon, you're getting hoisted up onto a table.
00:48:39
Speaker
um And Crevel's like, me what shall we try? ah Dog piece? Cat piece? People piece? el Elf piss always works. My own piss. I've drank all that, unfortunately.
00:48:57
Speaker
So that's he he sees the pixie reaches up to a shelf and he gets ah ah bottle of yellow liquid. Elf piss always does the trick. um And he uncorks it. Oh, I didn't really read.
00:49:08
Speaker
There you go. um John Pigeon, you hear this happening and you ah can imagine he may or may not have actual elf piss. you want to do anything while you're down here?
00:49:18
Speaker
The elf might have been hot. No. Was it elf Delphine? Belle Elphine? Sorry, go ahead. While he's like looking through his fucking cupboard whatever, or like, you know, I hear like jingle jangling on the shelf and shit, I want to stealthily like get up or like open my open like one eye and take a look in like do a discern realities role.
00:49:43
Speaker
He's like, oh, was that opening their eyes so loudly?
00:49:50
Speaker
kidding. was a weird laugh. Sorry. That was really funny, though. Like, I've never heard anybody open their eyes so hard in my life. yeah It's like someone slammed the door open in here. Jesus. Tompkins.
00:50:06
Speaker
ah Yeah, go discern realities, everybody. Yeah. I was going to say, do do a negative two because you're only one eye is open. yeah is What is my rolls today? I failed. Like, I've only succeeded one roll. David, I'll give you a chance. you want to open your other eye and roll again? Yeah, I do. He's like, I can't see anything. I gotta open a second one.
00:50:24
Speaker
Alright. seven there you go's all right I'm gonna... um No, I already know what what's about to happen.
00:50:36
Speaker
and ah what here what i mean what's useful
00:50:42
Speaker
um Well, as you look at him, like, you as you look and see him looking through his shelf, there's all kind of shit up there. Like all kind of like different colored, like, uh, looks like potions and tonics and potables and ingredients.
00:50:54
Speaker
Um, and he's got like on the wall, he's got a bunch of like tools and shit, like calipers and tongs and pokers and this needles and shit that he uses, and knives and shit.
00:51:05
Speaker
Oh, sweet. Do I see the, uh, do I see, do I know the goblins down here with us? Yeah, you as you as you're looking, you you see like the curtain move, and a box comes through with a little goblin behind it.
00:51:16
Speaker
Or are you are you going straight through the curtain, or what how are you coming through the curtain? Yeah, I'm just walking through like I belong there. i Just act like you act like you belong there. That's what I'm doing. All right, if I try to make eye contact and like signal for help, like i I'm going to try to like nod my head at the rat guy while he's going through his cupboard.
00:51:33
Speaker
Okay. At the goblin. Does the goblin see me? I'm sure he does. Yeah, you see him. Yeah, yeah, I see. That's why I came back here, because I saw you get dragged down, or heard you get dragged down. I'm going to motion my head at him, and then slowly get up, and then try to rush his ass.
00:51:49
Speaker
Oh, shit. Okay. I'm going to tabletop him. I'm going to get on all fours behind him. Isn't Krevel really tiny? He's also up against the wall. Maybe a little bigger than you as a skinny little guy. yeah. I guess if he's up against the wall looking at stuff, I guess I couldn't tabletop him.
00:52:10
Speaker
yeahll say imagine I imagine he's up he's up on a stool reaching over like a little table he works at into a cabinet up above. Yeah, I want to get up and just like try to mash his face into the cabinet. Okay, that sounds like a hack and splash if I've ever heard one.
00:52:23
Speaker
Yeah, and I'm going to aid or interfere if he needs it, but he rolled 11. He doesn't need my help. He does not. All right, well, you do your your damage, plus you get either to do an extra D6 and expose yourself to an attack, or you just do your base damage and be fine.
00:52:37
Speaker
Well, do your base damage and avoid retaliation, or you can do 1d6. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, either you can do it. So I'll do my damage, and I'm going fucking use the d6. Okay.
00:52:48
Speaker
So let me roll Do it. do it
00:52:53
Speaker
So that's an extra four. okay so um So yeah, you smash Krevel's face into the cabinet um and shit just goes falling down. Pisses splashing everywhere. Oh dear.
00:53:05
Speaker
Oh dear. since youpose yourself to any I'm going to say... I get a little bit of piss on me. certain when there's a certain A certain bottle comes and breaks down on, breaks and splashes you, and you get burned. Dude, you're taking so damage today. I've already had 10 health.
00:53:21
Speaker
Holy shit. there a healing potion in there? Maybe. it might have broke, though. It's it's on his curve. um So, yeah, but he's he's he's like, holy shit, I'm on my nose!
00:53:34
Speaker
And he's like he likes he like sort of like, I don't know if you're going to keep trying to him, but if you're not holding on to him, he's like... I'm going to open up the box that I have and just just like motion for John to shove him in there. okay Yeah, I'm going to do that. i want to pick him up over my head like Baldur's Gate style, just like shove him in the fucking box.
00:53:51
Speaker
Okay, you do that. and But then you hear from outside, you hear... I need to roll volley? what No, because he's he's like he's almost he's like almost dead. ah Rat, what are you doing in there?
00:54:02
Speaker
What are you doing in my... This is Gramsack McJohnson. What are you doing in my lab? What are you doing in my lab? This is Gramsack McJohnson, by the way. keep changing my voice. I have too many characters in this ship that have speaking lines. um I'm going to try to imitate the rat.
00:54:20
Speaker
Okay, nice. Oh my god, yes. Mind your own business.
00:54:26
Speaker
I'm trying to feed him some elf piss. Oh, that's him. All right. Keep it up in there, Crevel. Good job. we I give a thumbs up to the goblin. I i mi mimic that, not knowing what it means. Excellent.
00:54:40
Speaker
Okay. let's Let's do a little break from you guys. Twyla, you're up top at your oar, still rowing next to the guy you got whipped twice. um Thrasher keeps walking up but and down the aisles, but he keeps like lingering next to you. What do you want to do up there?
00:54:54
Speaker
She's just going to keep talking shit to the other rowers like, come on, guys, you can do it even better than this. ah If I'm the captain and I'm rowing better than you, you can row better than me. You can do it.
00:55:07
Speaker
Come on, scallywags. You can do it. Row harder. Row parlay. Okay.
00:55:17
Speaker
want see what sort of, okay. Ten. Okay. So I was going to say, either they hate you or they're like getting so pissed off. They're rowing really good. And they're like, like, they're like, fuck you lady. Like we can't. And Dim's like, hold, hold on everybody. You're going a little too fast. or ri Calm down. they I'm going to, I'm spilling me ale. Yeah. so but You got the ship kind of going a little fast. Oh my gosh.
00:55:37
Speaker
And ah down below deck, you guys, you feel the ship jerks forward like as as it hits Mach 5 ship speed style. oh and shits and And all the piss bottles that didn't break are like rolling off the table onto the floor and shit.
00:55:51
Speaker
um And yeah, Twyla, you got everybody going faster now. And then Whipcracker McStevens, Thrasher, he's going he's like, slow down, you pieces of shit. Who told you roll so fast?
00:56:03
Speaker
Like she did. He's like, keep her name out of your mouth. and looks He looks at you and he winks.
00:56:12
Speaker
um Anything else you want to do? Damn. Better watch out, Thrasher. She's coming for your job. And he's like, he looks at you. He's kind of like, looks at you like angry. He's like, there's only one job you better be coming after.
00:56:26
Speaker
oh two do You want to do anything else other than talk all the other people? Nope, that's pretty much it. She's i'm that she's stuck at rowing, so you know it's not like she can go far. like you should You can get some good rowing songs going. you know You're a bard after all.
00:56:43
Speaker
She's good at shit talk. do you want to i mean You can try and like see if you can test your little chain they put on your feet to the bench if you want.
00:56:51
Speaker
i mean, yeah, I could do that. um Sing the song of release me from my chains. My legs are nice, don't chain them, please. My legs are nice, don't chain them, please. What do you want to do? Do you want to like kind of wiggle your feet and see how tight it is? you want to try and say break it off? What do you to do? I'm to see how tight it is at first.
00:57:09
Speaker
Okay. okay um Okay. Do a discern realities. I'll give you a little leeway on it, but do it discern realities. A niner? Oh, yeah. and and like I mean, you can ask a question if you want, but we'll just tell you about your leg things.
00:57:20
Speaker
um They're pretty, they're not like tight right around your ankles. You maybe could like squeeze your feet out if you had a little bit of time, um but it'd probably be a little hard to, because it's not like right up around you. It's kind of bigger than your ankle. It kind of like wobbles around your feet a little bit.
00:57:34
Speaker
So you could theoretically pull your feet out if you wanted to. Is my monkey free? i mean, we never talked about him. He's over Actually, I'm going to say Dim kind of was like, bring that monkey up here. I like this monkey.
00:57:45
Speaker
And he's got him up sitting um by him at the at the at the steering wheel. And he's kind of looking at you like... Yes, know. He is awesome. Yeah, I like him. what's it you Is it yours? What's his name?
00:57:59
Speaker
He is mine, yes. And his name is Banana. Oh, Banana. That's like naming me yeah Ale. Because I like Ale. I like to eat Ale all the time. Banana, do you do dances?
00:58:14
Speaker
Of course he does. He does all the dances to all my songs. If you would let me help you out of, let me, let me out of here, then I could, you know, do a little dance and show with you.
00:58:26
Speaker
First of all, this is a conversation between me and me monkey. Thank you very much. He can't answer
00:58:35
Speaker
He's a plenty smart. Look at his eyes. He's got the wisdom of a thousand years behind these eyes. I can see it um Did you comment? Did you have like, do you have like a instrument you have normally? Yeah, I have the horn.
00:58:46
Speaker
Okay, okay. but you you play I think they said you they you had like a little horn on you when you came in. um When they got you, they put it away, you though. ah You like play a little song on there? Any any any dances?
00:58:59
Speaker
Of course. All right. um Thrasher, get old gobsmacked McJohnson or whatever the fuck I called him. Get up here and bring up the horn from that lady.
00:59:11
Speaker
And Thrasher goes and yells down, hey, bring up the horn from that lady, grabsack. And grabsack goes, fuck off, okay. We have the same voice. There they go. He goes and does that. And um downstairs, you heard that, both you guys.
00:59:27
Speaker
And um particularly you, Thip, since you knew it was over there, that little cage with the item with a chest in it, you hear a jingling of keys and a kick,
00:59:37
Speaker
And a rummaging around of sorts while you're down there. you want to act upon this hearing? I would. ah You said earlier that there were like somebody like some knives and shit that were like up on that counter or whatever. There's there's like a bunch of shit.
00:59:51
Speaker
I'm going grab as many of those as I can as like like as projectiles since I'm much more proficient in projectile damage. Okay. um So I'm going to grab a handful of those. Just roll a d6.
01:00:03
Speaker
Roll a d6? Yeah. How many things you got in your hands and your arms? Three. You got three um knives and their point head objects. Cool. ah Just out of curiosity, because John Pidgeot's pretty fucked up. I can tell he's been he's got acid splashed, and my owl apparently cut his hands and shit.
01:00:20
Speaker
Can I identify if there's any sort of medicinal things in this room before we head out? Like, while that was going on, can I yeah look for something to help him? Sure, yeah. Why don't you do a discern realities again?
01:00:31
Speaker
I still got one more question on there, brother. you do? Okay, I forgot. Yeah, yeah. That's good. Yeah, what do you want to ask? I want to know where the potions are. That's not one of the questions, but I'll let you have it. Okay. One of your issues is more valuable to me. You see, rolling around at your feet, there's like a red bottle, and you know for sure you've seen that a million
Comedic Combat Begins
01:00:49
Speaker
times. There's a little potion bottle right there for healing potion.
01:00:52
Speaker
All right. I'm going to tap on, since i'm pretty short, I'm gonna just going to tap on, I don't know, his lower back. i'm like, hey, that's not how talk. For you, sir, before we go on.
01:01:04
Speaker
yeah what's Oh, a healing potion. Fuck, yeah. Yeah, it's a healing. Yes, it's liqueur. I can't remember. Did you say liqueur? It's liqueur. Drink it down. it's very good for you. It's French.
01:01:17
Speaker
Liqueur. French. Is there... it know Yeah, it's f French for liqueur wounds. You see what I did there? You see what I did there with Lickir Wounds? yeah I see what you did there. Name's Thip, by the way. What ah what do their parents call you?
01:01:37
Speaker
John. video You 10 damage or remove one debility? I'm going to heal 10 damage. Nice. Heal 10 damage. Oh, there you go. I can see your acid burns healing already. Good chap. This thing's pretty cool. I'm going to break that healing potion bottle and use that as a weapon.
01:01:57
Speaker
and And then you hear outside, you hear yeah the jingling of keys all that shit going on. He's like, Trevor, be careful in there with your bottles. Hey, could you do your impression again and have have Fatty out there come back here so we can kick his ass in private?
01:02:13
Speaker
Oh, why don't you come back here? can... second and manage it shove those goddamn keys up your ass roll a parlay
01:02:25
Speaker
um can I help out sure oh my god what would that be I guess it'd just be Aider and her fury yeah I think you can choose what you want to do on that now i know you can't oh i didn't it didn't let me pick hang on sorry what would that be charisma you got a 7 anyways we're go a plus one you gave him a plus 1 okay that works yeah didn't let me pick the first time I guess he's doing any rules.
01:02:47
Speaker
So yeah, you gotta you got a 10 now, so that's perfect. he He's like, you know you little shit. I'm sick your fucking bullshit. You hear the cage door slam shut. And he comes around. going put this damn going to throw you overboard.
01:02:59
Speaker
And he comes in, he whips the curtain open and he's like, before he does before he does that, while he's doing his impression, I'm going to get behind something so I can like ambush him, like stab him in the ankles or some shit. Okay, that's fine. I imagine you you just leave the crate lane where you left it with Krivel in it and you hide behind it.
01:03:14
Speaker
we Okay. you Yeah. He whips it open. He's like, come here, little shit. What the hell? I mean, I guess John Pidgeon, you can act first since you're... I'm just going to rush him into the goddamn bottle. Okay.
01:03:24
Speaker
Nice. Do yours. Oh, wait. Do your damned enemy and the enemy makes attack against you. Oh, shit. Roll an eight. do you Do your damage. That's it. All right. How much damage? Four.
01:03:35
Speaker
Four, baby. um and So does I, do I roll an attack for this guy or does he just do damage? No, you don't roll an attack. You just, you just roll the damage. Okay. Cause there's no, like no defense for us. Like you just either you hit us or you don't. He's got a little dagger. Um, I don't know.
01:03:50
Speaker
so Usually that's like a d four. Yeah. He sticks you for two. He's like, son of a bitch. You go stick each other. um and he's fully he's He's fully distracted. You can do a surprise little attack on him.
01:04:02
Speaker
I don't know if there's a feature for that. i died All right, get him. Sip. to I'm going to... um I don't know, I guess you can just give me a bonus if you want me to do so a surprise attack.
01:04:13
Speaker
yeah, that's fine. Yeah, we'll give you like a plus two, we'll say. Fuck it. Alright, I'm gonna try to hack and slash him instead of like doing a throw. i'm just gonna try to like stab him in the in the Achilles. Okay, yeah, stab that shit, man.
01:04:24
Speaker
Stab that leg. Hack and slash! That's still but it's plus strength though, right? Um, I feel like unless it says otherwise, yes, which, um, I will say we can use, you can use dexterity since they're little knives.
01:04:36
Speaker
Okay, cool. I'm not gonna argue with that. Let's go. Did it do it? Did it would do my hack and slash? Plus two is nine. So you slash his little... adroid Do your damage.
01:04:50
Speaker
Oh, shit. That's the damage. four. It's another four, baby. You slash his Achilles tendon and he goes, ah! He looks over and he he stabs you on top of the head on top of the somewhere. Not somewhere.
01:05:02
Speaker
On top of the somewhere. More than anything, he kind of like just like clubs you with his arm and like scratches your back with a knife. Man, how much fucking health does this asshole have? and then he then he as he does well i say As he does that, he just goes, ah, fuck! And he falls over he's like, ah, ah, ah. I want to kick him while he's down.
01:05:22
Speaker
And he's dead. I'm still going to kick him i'mm gonna kick him as ah in a bonding moment with John. Okay, you guys are kicking a dead body. um And up up top, Thrasher's like waiting the steps. He's like, he looks at Dim he does a shrug and Dim's like, what the hell is taking that guy you so long? And he steps on the, even though he's up higher than like the deck, he steps on his where he's and he's like, stumps. He's like, come on, grab a sec. I want to see the monkey dance.
01:05:46
Speaker
And you guys hear, that you guys hear, oh, grab a sec, I want to see the monkey dance.
01:05:53
Speaker
And then Thrasher goes down. Come on! The boss wants to see the monkey dance! Get us that horn, you son of a bitch!
01:06:02
Speaker
And you guys are done with a dead man. And Krabble's in the box, like kind of like, you hear him shifting around going, I just heard so bad! I'd like to pass out now, I think!
01:06:14
Speaker
ah Yes, be a good a good little rat boy. I'm going yell off, I'm going to my best impression of Thrash, or no, of, what's his name? Johnny Nutgrabber, or whatever his name was. Oh, no. And and we have him like, hmm, hmm, hmm.
01:06:30
Speaker
One minute. Nope.
Chaos and Strategy
01:06:34
Speaker
Roll parlay. Roll parlay. At a minus one.
01:06:39
Speaker
You got a good charisma. That's okay. Okay. Parlay. Ten, baby. Nine. Minus one's with a nine. So he's like... He kind of comes down the steps and he's like, all right, well, hurry up. The boss wants to see the monkey dance. I'm at the steps. Just bring it out when you're ready.
01:07:00
Speaker
Where... Where else would you put those horns at? i put ah i put i I look over at John and I give him another thumbs up thinking that's what I'm supposed to do when I do impressions. give him a thumbs up. was awesome. That was great.
01:07:12
Speaker
ah like This is what we do when we play roles, right? This this yes yeah inflection of a thumb. Hey, we should get some... Did you see any other weapons or anything? oh yeah yeah, our weapons are in the cage out there. This bumbling buffoon we just killed has the keys. Yes, and I ripped the keys off his belt.
01:07:32
Speaker
okay I believe there's a monkey in there too. Let's just let them know the monkeys upstairs. Then why? Oh, okay. Let's go see if there's a monkey. you Go over to the cave. Oh, well, yeah. If you just remember, uh, Thrasher just said that the part of the negative for his level nine and his line role was that Thrasher came down the steps. He's now down there waiting, watching.
01:07:52
Speaker
All right, well, I'm just going to go out there and start chucking knives at him. Holy, okay. um Do some volley. Like, while while John's going to go rummage through the cage to get our shit. can i know I know it's usually your place paint your own pictures, can I imagine you like you you come out of there, you whip the curtain open like you're in a goddamn Western, and you just... Yeah, I'm John Woo.
01:08:11
Speaker
Just like, damn. damn All right, yeah, you're going to throw all three of them? I'm going to throw all three knives at ah at this guy. Just going to try to stick them. I'll let you do roll for all of them.
01:08:22
Speaker
Unless you want to do one for each of them. If the first one sucks, we can decide. Well, I guess it depends. Because, like, are you going to have me roll damage for each knife or for... Or is just going to be one roll for all three knives?
01:08:34
Speaker
It'd be damage for each knife. Okay, roll three throws. Three throw rolls. You little deal little son of a gun. That's a seven. ah nine. and ah And I miss completely. Okay. So yeah, you... what And hit the wood behind him.
01:08:49
Speaker
Ow! Ow! So yeah, so i get I do my damage on the first one, but I either have to move to get my shot. You have to take... which you can get at minus one d six damage, or you have to take shovel several shots. Uh, I'm just going to move up closer. I'm just going to be walking towards him anyway. Just throwing them as I walk, as I approach him. It's like, so um, so yeah, so I'm just going to keep doing that. And maybe the first one just misses and I have to keep getting closer. Okay. That's fine. Do your two damages then.
01:09:14
Speaker
Wow. Two, five, so seven total. Holy shit. And, um, he, uh, I give him a thumbs up.
01:09:24
Speaker
Uh, I'm just like excited. he te he tee He whips at you, but he's going he he does a sideways whip, and the whip ah wraps around your neck Indiana Jones style, and he's like, come on, you green bastard, and he starts trying to pull you up with him.
01:09:38
Speaker
He kind starts coming up the steps. and I call out to like the other guys that were enslaved, I'm just like, while John's getting the shit, I'm like, any time there are other no-named fellows, now would be good.
01:09:49
Speaker
the the The elephant guy's like, I'm a prostitute. I can't fight. i was at a brothel. I was at a bathhouse. I came to death. and late And the lady's like, fuck it. And she jumps up and sort she jumps on his back starts clawing at his face. She's like, ah! That a girl! That a girl!
01:10:07
Speaker
That a girl! like fuck horrordo
01:10:12
Speaker
Anytime, John! She kind of drags him to the floor. And John, yeah what do you want to do, John? I'm still rummaging. What do I find? like you going You're going into the chest? You find everybody's shit in there.
01:10:23
Speaker
What is their shit? I don't know. I don't know know what their shit is. What is your shit? I have a short bow and a quiver. If you see a short bow and a quiver, that's fine. I'm going to grab that. quiver It's like dirty and grassy and covered in... i think I have sword, too. Like some sort of like small... i'm gramming every so of anything I'm just grabbing the whole damn thing. I can't remember what have.
01:10:41
Speaker
So John comes dirty, he says, I got chest of stuff! Yeah. Boy, you got a bunch weapons here. It's so funny because I actually have that decal on our truck says I've got a jar of dirt. Yep.
01:10:54
Speaker
Penguins live inside it. and And also, i just I feel like at this point, um there's the sound of skerfuffles going on downstairs. And you, Twyla, you hear people screaming downstairs because that lady jumped the guy and went, ah!
01:11:08
Speaker
And the guy went, ah! Um, and there also was a sound of like a, uh, something hitting the wood hard, like the knife getting thrown. Um, and then like, what the hell is going on down there? Uh, fucking the other unnamed goons.
01:11:22
Speaker
Look, what's going on down there. What the hell? Um, and Twyla say, there's a couple guys going towards the steps and you're shit talking. You want to do anything that helps everybody else.
01:11:33
Speaker
Um, Is th Thresher still on the stairs? um you can't he's now He's down below. He's at the bottom of the steps. down Okay, if he's down below. I can't see him anymore. Okay, so she's going stick out both of her arms and go, wait!
01:11:49
Speaker
And she's going to pull out like two of the little like um of those little tinky-tinky-tinky-tinky. I don't know what they're fucking called. like They're like the little... um Yeah, the little symbols on your face. Thank you. Finger c symbols.
01:12:06
Speaker
She's going pull them out and she's going to just start like clinking them and dancing. And she's going to be like, look at what I'm doing right now. You can't see what I'm doing right now You don't know what they're doing because I'm doing this right now.
01:12:20
Speaker
You don't care what they are doing because I am shaking my butt for you. and they was like, oh, hang on, guys. Those two guys are like, oh, oh, all right. Oh. oh all right there's like there's like a big There's like a big butch, like really really buffed um chick with like sleeveless shirt on with half her head shaved. She's like, hmm, all right. She's like, I ain't seen a woman other than myself in years.
01:12:51
Speaker
um yeah You do that. um Anything else you want to do while you're up there? We're just going to distract everybody up here for now. Well, she's going to distract him. while they're kind of like coming in closer, she's going to see if she can do like ah ah just kind of like a circle punch where she just punches people in a circle. I don't know.
01:13:15
Speaker
She's attacking the other slaves.
01:13:19
Speaker
They're coming at her. i love i love that she just has a fist out to the side. She's like circle punch and it's just like swinging her arm in a full circle. Just whoever gets it. dr Yeah.
01:13:32
Speaker
She does like a ballerina spin and she just like punches people in the face in a circle. I think that's great. I love that. Do a hack and slash and if you hit, I'll let you divide up damage. Hopefully do a lot of damage. Only the two guys are coming in close to you that walking towards the stairs. So they come close to you. Oh my God. I got a six.
01:13:51
Speaker
Can I have Owl Bundy help since he sees there's a skerfuffle going on now? Sure, sure. Have Owl Bundy help him out. All right. I want to do a help out. I think he just has a plus two. It's ferocity. So like when he's attacking, he uses ferocity skill.
01:14:06
Speaker
um So I guess that would also be hack and slash whi for him. um I guess. I guess it would be either interfere, huh? I guess that's probably what it would be. um All right.
01:14:21
Speaker
what worse fucking bear actually that's as i didn't add anyway Well,
01:14:33
Speaker
um yeahs like he's pecking away like as she's spinning in circles doing ballet. He's also flying in circles trying to cut people you like like yeah he like lands on their heads and shit and like pushes them and they're like ah, they stumble and then you get, and then you punch him. um So roll a, roll a damaged roll there. Hello. Hello.
01:14:49
Speaker
Okay. I got a six. You can divide that amongst each of them or you can just do it to one of them as you do a spin punch. Yeah,
01:15:01
Speaker
yeah I'll just knock like a tooth out of each guy's mouth or something. Three to both. Okay. Are you soon he just going to divvy it up half and half, three to both? Yeah, yeah. And let me see. You wrote it you wrote it hit you guys you got a seven, and it was a plus one with eight in fear, I believe.
01:15:16
Speaker
Yeah, so I think it just exposes him also to danger. um and but I mean, one guy is going to try and catch the bird. He's trying to chase the bird around now, let's say, but owl can fly off the ship and fly over the water, so it's fine. He's like, hello, hello, hello.
01:15:29
Speaker
I'm to nobody attacks you, but you still are chained to the thing. So as you're doing a spin maneuver, you kind of forgot that you're chained up and you fall because you kind of twist yourself around the chains. and you fall Your ankles are more twisted up with chains and shit.
01:15:40
Speaker
And but a little little little back downstairs, you guys have pretty much got Thrasher almost dead.
Preparing for Final Confrontation
01:15:46
Speaker
And you hear upstairs bunch of kerfuffle and shit going on too. ah What would you two gentlemen like to do? Oh, so John has the box of stuff.
01:15:54
Speaker
Box of shit. John, attack him with all the weapons. What? What do you? All right, whatever. I'm just going to smash the fucking I'm going to take the box and just smash over this. He's got to tag him with the box.
01:16:06
Speaker
Hack and slash. You get inspiration. I going to say plus two on that. It's laying nice. It doesn't matter either way. But yeah, you smash him. um And you smash, where do where do you smash him with the box? The, the head.
01:16:17
Speaker
Okay. Oh, the head. Good choice, John. um so I'm going to say you smash him in the head and he dies from that, but the lady with li lady was like scratching him in the face, so you smash her fingers too. She's like, what the fuck?
01:16:28
Speaker
So instead of the enemy attacking you, this lady like just slaps you for one damage. I'm sorry. here Oh, fuck. How many D6s is that? She scratches you with her nails and you get a permanent...
01:16:41
Speaker
um Hiroshi, what's the guy's name? Shredder's real name. You get to a scar on your face just like Shredder. Iroka Saki. I wonder Hiroshi is fucked up. um You get a scratch across your face just like Iroka Saki did in the turtle movie. thinking of Hamato Yoshi, which is who Splinter is.
01:16:56
Speaker
Oh my god, I combined together. Hamoshi or whatever fuck I said. Anyway. um How the fuck do you guys even remember that shit? fucking angel like The rat was watching Master Yoshi cho Train.
01:17:09
Speaker
but in they I barely remember the turtles' names half the time. Maybe even the comics. he turns I'm thinking of the old films. It began in the 80s, I believe. But yeah, you get a scratch across your face and it's permanently going to be there now.
01:17:21
Speaker
Three scratches from a woman's claws. She's like... she's like Watch my fingers. God, I'm trying to help. Get us out of here. Yeah, I'm willing. Don't you think I know that? Okay, well, you hurt my fingers. Hey, do you have my, is my person there?
01:17:33
Speaker
but I don't know. Take a look. Oh, here it is. Oh, thank goodness. My drugs. shoot All right. Let's get this to the rest of the people upstairs. My bow and my quiver, please, Mr. John. he el like Is my thong in there?
01:17:47
Speaker
yeah Is is myon in that i'm not goingnna dish out what i just how am my in there in there. He drops the chest. my too though in there What does John take from the chest? What does he have in there?
01:17:59
Speaker
What's John got in there? Nothing. He came here with nothing? because he got one he got He was so drunk, he just passed down on the street and got kidnapped. He literally had nothing on him. He had the flask. Okay, yeah, I'm going to grab my short sword, my bow, my quiver out of there, and I'm going to grab the knives that I am able to find from the body of that guy and grab those.
01:18:20
Speaker
And there's also...
01:18:23
Speaker
21 coins. Wow. Right. Wow. Around the bottom. Yeah, dude. Hey, you could buy yourself some stuff with this, John. Whatever Twyla had on her too.
01:18:34
Speaker
And that guy's thong and dodos are there. he's got he's got like a He's got like a thong, and but it's like a toment ah like a tool belt with dodos and shit hanging off of it. He's like, oh, thank goodness. i know My livelihood.
01:18:44
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. Hey, let me help but fix that to your waist there, sir. Don't worry, I've been doing this years. This is like other slaves up top, right? and Yeah.
01:18:55
Speaker
Rowing or whatever. so like How many other weapons for them, too? That's what I assume there is. Their shit's probably been like, this is like the new shit they just tucked away. Their shit's probably like stored away somewhere else. Does th Thrasher have like weapons on him that John could take?
01:19:07
Speaker
um He probably has like a... Oh, he has a whip. He has a whip. Yeah, I'm taking a whip. I'm taking a dagger. I'm taking the take us some knives that... What's-his-face through? With a whip. Thip.
01:19:19
Speaker
Yeah. And the elephant prostitute's like, hmm, you need my thong to carry all those knives. Jeez, you got a lot What? Yeah, okay, sure. I'll just throw that in the box instead. You could probably use that as a slingshot.
01:19:35
Speaker
you guys So John's walking upstairs with a box of weapons. All right, fellas. This is a mutiny. So everybody, get the captain, and we're going to make him walk the yeah plague, or whatever it's called.
01:19:51
Speaker
What the hell? What the hell? Yeah, it's a fucking mutiny. What is going on down there? I'm going to take over the ship and be captain again. Yeah. Sure. Maybe leave her chained.
01:20:04
Speaker
um Anyway, here's a weapon. Twyla. and he throws the whole... Oh, did you find my bow in there? i don't fucking know. about my horn? He throws the fucking box over her.
01:20:20
Speaker
No, stop asking. Whatever you have said you have, you have. um And all of a sudden, when you're holding that box, um ah ah John, um ah you feel something scurry up your pant leg and curl up on top of the box and look at it. Oh, fuck. The lid is hanging open. It's the first mate.
01:20:42
Speaker
And there's a salamander staring at you. And he gazes intently into your eyes. And I grab that little fucker and I throw him overboard. scar It's not your turn. It's his turn. You hear in your head, are you into?
01:20:55
Speaker
What? are you into killing off my old characters and I pick him up and I whip him off the fucking shit as he's in your as he's in your hand he you you feel ah you be been flying okay you he's not in my hand then I backhand him off as you the back of your hand touches his body you see remember he is hot to the touch Hold on, let me look at this stat. What are you going to use? Con. Con, let's see. Whatever I want. So funny. I'm just going roll Twyla's Constitution.
01:21:30
Speaker
for his attack. It's a seven. Holy cannoli. um So yeah, ah what's this do? ah so you see all of a sudden a flaming... ah What is it? You summon a conjure weapon of pure flame? Yeah, so a flaming dagger just kind of sticks out of the side of him all of a sudden.
01:21:46
Speaker
And when you so go to smack him, it stabs you in the hand. And... ah How does your shit work? You may treat your intelligence as your strength or dex in regards to making attacks with this weapon.
01:21:58
Speaker
Yep, you got it. how much How much damage does it do? How much damage did you use to do with that shit, David? I don't remember. It's going to load up gold oh that's what's gonna be a D6, I guess. You take six, David, your hand is as as a burning sword stabs you through the hand, but you slap the salamander. Oh, ow.
01:22:16
Speaker
Good thing we got you that healing potion, eh, John? And roll a hack and slash to see how what you how you fling this... ah guy bitchlap I got a 7, so I opened myself up to the attack.
01:22:30
Speaker
That's a good thing that already happened. Yeah, you already did that. We're not going to open myself up to another attack. That'd be absurd. Roll a d6. Roll your damage, I should say.
01:22:41
Speaker
Whatever your is. ah He goes flying off the side of the ship and you hear, Good riddance.
01:22:54
Speaker
Alright, where were we? Here's your fucking, here's the box, Twyla. Here, take your shit out. Uh, Twyla, you're also still, like, laying on the ground tangled up in chains.
01:23:03
Speaker
Oh, she's tangled up. She's going to untangle her feet, yeah. There's two guys looming over you. um One of them's gonna try and grab you. Grabbing style. Okay. You wanna defy danger?
01:23:15
Speaker
ah Yeah, she's going to try to divide danger and use her chained up feet as a weapon. And so she's just going to like, ah like basically spin around on the top, like her top of her back on her shoulder blades and try to just launch her feet at them into their groinal area.
01:23:35
Speaker
That is very specific. It's going to be a tough one.
Victory and Next Steps
01:23:38
Speaker
Fuck. I got four. The guy's like, not my groin, Elaria. I got him in the chin. Whoa, watch out there, lady.
01:23:50
Speaker
I do a sick slide across the deck of the ship and go, with my bow that I got. Oh shit, volley. And I and i shout out, ah whoho ah hoooo for my trusty little owl to come and attack these fools with me.
01:24:05
Speaker
Okay, well, the three-shot thing was just a... Give me for the three sword things you had, but you only get to do one shot. Yeah, I know, but in this game, like, you know, with with how ammo works, you can say you shot, like, a bunch of times, like, just for fun, for flavor.
01:24:19
Speaker
yeah do your Do your volley. All right, let's go, baby. That's a fucking 10. Damn.
01:24:27
Speaker
My dick is a goblin dick. Your mouth on my goblin dick. All right, so... I'm going to roll... You have a clear shot. Do your Five. I'm going to roll the five for my damage. doesn't It doesn't matter who you shoot because they're both at 3 HP and he... you shoot where do Where do you hit him on his body?
01:24:43
Speaker
In the groinal area. So he's... Imagine... They're like both looming over her, so you slide down the middle, so you shoot him like... and so It skids right underneath his butt cheeks, right across his gooch. the gooch. it skids right through his ball sack. And he's like, oh my God, this shouldn't kill me, but I don't want to live anymore. And he dies. I'm a eunuch now. Eunuchy, snip, snip.
01:25:09
Speaker
And then John Pigeon, you've seen all this occur. There's there's one more dude looming over. um What's her face? Twyla. Twyla. There's a big butch lesbian chick still not acting yet. She's over there on the sitting down and dims up on the top ropes. he's he's you see he's he's getting he's He looks like he's thinking about climbing on top of the railing of his little ah steering wheel perch, and he might want to do a swanton bomb pretty soon or something. Not a swanton bomb.
01:25:34
Speaker
What do you want to do, John? What do you do, John Pigeon? Johnny Pigeon. Oh, I don't know. He plays Denna. ah Oh, jeez. And he goes over and he takes the box of shit and just smashes it over the other guy's head.
01:25:50
Speaker
He's like, I like this box. This is a good box. He's just using the box as a weapon, I guess. I don't know. Roll hack and slash again, brother. Roll hack and slasher. i think John Pidgeon is going to be how they invented boxing.
01:26:01
Speaker
Yep. But he misses. But he misses. The guy's like, whoa, watch what that blocks. Oh, shit. you're Oh, wait, i didn't have I didn't have my owl help me. Can he help him? I forgot to factor that in.
01:26:11
Speaker
Oh, my guess. Does he get to help every time? I don't know. He didn't help me. I forgot to do it. I guess as it gets his own turn, huh? I think I just missed. I didn't do it. he's gonna hate Everybody at home, in case you're wondering why the monkey doesn't get to help, um the owl is actually a feature of Adam's character sheet. The monkey is just flavor for Twyla. Yeah. That's an eight to help out, so he gives you a plus one, so you have seven.
01:26:32
Speaker
Yeah, the bird's flying around that guy's head. He's like, ah, damn bird. So instead, you get to smack this guy on top of the head with your thing. Do your damage. of the box. Three. He has that's exactly the amount i need
01:26:46
Speaker
amount I need. Yeah, you smash his head clean open. Whoa, clean open? The box is supposed to open, not his head. Oh, no. He's dead. He falls down and dead, dead dies. He dies. Don't make him as he used to. They don't open like they open. The box opens you.
01:27:03
Speaker
ah Super Earth made right here. Okay, so Twyla, you're now laying on the floor still and um ah everybody's dead around you that was looking at you. You can probably get yourself free now pretty easily.
01:27:15
Speaker
um So you can that and you can stand up if you'd like. So she's going to take the chains off of her ankles and she's going to start whipping them around her head to anyone who is left attacked. Holy shit. The only person left is the the butch chick.
01:27:33
Speaker
And she's still kind of just sitting there, you know, watching. You want to whip her anyway with the chains? um Well, no, she's going to. Hmm.
01:27:44
Speaker
She's going to look at her with the chains whipping around in the air and be like, are you going to join us? So am I going to have to knock you out too? and she goes, actually, i was waiting to see who'd win, sugar.
01:28:02
Speaker
Looks like you guys are going to do it. I don't really like this crew anyway. So, yeah, go ahead, have fun. Go on, watch out for old Dimmy up there. Oh, don't you be calling me Dimmy. My name's Captain Rundrig. And he's c climbing up on top of the railing. I'm going to drop an elbow on you motherfuckers.
01:28:19
Speaker
You give me my heart back, you jerk. And he he says, all right, and he throws it at you, throwing style. And as you look up at it, he comes and jumps, and he's going to do a swanton bomb on you. What do do? God, he comes and jumps. I'm going to defy danger and jump in the way and try to grab Oh, shit. Actually, that probably would be a defend if you're going to do that because you're defending her.
01:28:39
Speaker
So roll the fence. Oh, fuck. Whoa! eleven Damn! So you're standing in defense. ah You defend... you Wait, wait, what the fuck? The thing you defend is attacked.
01:28:50
Speaker
You may spend one hold for one to choose an option. Open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker. Okay, okay. Yes!
01:29:02
Speaker
I am still swinging my chains around and going to move out on top of the head. i want to half the attack's effect or damage. you do get three, don't you? Yeah, i want to do all three of those.
01:29:12
Speaker
Okay. open I want to open up to an attack to Twyla, and I want to deal my damage. I want to fucking... He's going to do a lot. Here's his damage. um So you get four damage. It's good thing you have that. Yep. He still lands on you, Twyla.
01:29:24
Speaker
um but He kind of stopped him a little bit. I rolled three damage. Oh, eagle, to your level. Never mind. It's one. Never mind. but That's useless. Okay, so he's on top of me. Owie, owie. All right. lands on you. Well, he kind of he gotta just hits you. Maybe he just he just kind of like... ah John kind of blocks him, so he kind of just gets pushed aside. as so kind of He kind of shoulder-checks you away a little bit, so you can whip him with the change if you want, now that you're he's open to attack.
01:29:45
Speaker
And you get a plus one to four. Actually, so... So what I'm going to do is ah I'm going to use the chains. I'm going to like do um just like a roll, like a little barrel roll.
01:29:57
Speaker
I'm going land on top of him and then I'm going to wrap the chains around his neck and squeeze. Holy shit. All right, do a fucking hack and slash if I ever heard about it. My God. horse mcck andba is one You get plus one we need today but forward. You get a seven. so do you yeah well You have a seven. yeah Do your damage. Deal damage to this motherfucker right here. Seven in damage.
01:30:21
Speaker
ah Five. Holy shit. So you're choking the shit out of this guy. at four and as so you're like He's like blue in the face. You're choking him. um when He's like grabbing at the things. He falls to his knees.
01:30:31
Speaker
um but ti a seven he got He kind of punches you in the head again. and Oh my God. don't know. I don't want to do two a D8 to you again, but he's a strong boy. Four. Okay, whew. Four damage. He punches you in the face while he's trying to get free.
01:30:43
Speaker
um But he's still... he's like he's like he You can see his his eyes are like leaning back and back. He's like... hey But um it's not your turn anymore, so you can't do any more damage to him. Thip, phew, it's your turn again. What do you want to do So what is his position right now?
01:30:56
Speaker
He's down on his knees between the benches choking. And all the people rowing probably stop at this point. They're all watching. They're like, oh, shit. um I'm going to stand. um I'm going to stand at the yeah stand in front of him as he's on his knees. It's probably closer to my eye level now.
01:31:11
Speaker
um And I'm going to say to him, hey, as opposed to fighting, how would you feel about going to the ale and thong store?
01:31:22
Speaker
He's like, ah he's he he's got his hands on his on the chainsy. He goes, he pull pulls one away and he's like shakily thumbs up. Righto then, set course for the thong and ale store, gentlemen. But then his thumbs up turns to a middle finger.
01:31:37
Speaker
And I cut off his middle finger.
01:31:44
Speaker
With my short sword. Okay. Damn.
01:32:25
Speaker
Oh, does it look good already?