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EP. 89 Jack Frost (1998)
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Transcript
Chaotic Humor and Introductions
00:00:00
Speaker
I want to play football. Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:16
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick, and I have shaft hair.
00:00:27
Speaker
Call me Odell Beckham Senior, because I'm dad. You want me to lick your bedpan, filthy skunk?
00:00:40
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:47
Speaker
Two girls, one
December Movie Lineup
00:00:48
Speaker
cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes. Hello and welcome to episode 89 of the Two Guys, One Screen podcast. A.K.A. the hemorrhoid homies, A.K.A. the Poetown boys, A.K.A. the diarrhea daddies.
00:01:02
Speaker
ah My name is Nick, and I'm joined, as always, by Gout. Gout. Gout. What's fuck? This guy walking on the street, fucking biting his fingernails.
00:01:14
Speaker
Oh, he's a fucking... He's a nice guy. He's got a fucking bald head. Does he really? Is he black? he's He's... i don't know I don't know what... I would go Eastern European.
00:01:25
Speaker
Okay. All right. I did did do don't know. We're here to review. We're in December, if you're listening to this. I mean, right now we're not, but if you're listening to this, it's December officially. My cat is going fucking crazy over there right hear though And it's like, cuz, relax. going to throw sock at him.
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah, so last year during Christmas month, we did Christmas horror movies. But this year, we thought we'd throw in a couple of non-horror movies for you guys, you know? Don't get twisted. There will be Christmas horror movies.
00:01:55
Speaker
ah Should we just give them the fucking rundown of what we're werere putting out they know? Yeah, fucking just Do it to them. We're kicking off. I mean, obviously if we didn't say already. We're giving you two a week, you fucking whores.
00:02:06
Speaker
this This is progress in our podcast. We're trying to do more for you in our in our second December. Second December. you know You know, we know you fucking want it We fucking
Focus on 'Jack Frost' 1998
00:02:16
Speaker
know you want it. But we're kicking today off with the 1998 film. You were born.
00:02:21
Speaker
Jack Frost. yeah You can jack me till I'm frosty. Yeah. you can jack me until some frosty comes out. going to give it to fucking Wendy. me those pigtails. Yeah. I like fat men. don't know. Shout out to Jake. Yeah, fucking fat ass.
00:02:46
Speaker
Take it to me, bitch. Well, we already fucked up because I forgot that. Well, actually, we won't be able to do it because it's ah it's ah it's a banked. ah On Tuesday or Friday, whatever fucking day it was, on December 2nd, you heard a vaulted episode of Edward Scissorhands, which did kick off December for us. So this is like a boner episode, technically speaking. Yeah.
00:03:10
Speaker
So you got... Today we're doing Jack Frost. Then you got Mean One, the David Howard Thornton ah Grinch horror movie, which, I mean, we'll see. Yeah, lot of the worstlines luckily it's streaming on Prime, but with ads. It's one of those movies.
00:03:29
Speaker
But you have the steelbook, no? No, I never bought it. Oh, I thought you bought it for some reason. You haven't. I have it. um One of the worst lines in cinema ever. I might take this fucking toilet with Then you get Fat Man, which was a last-minute addition. It's a movie that I
Humorous Actor and Scene Tangents
00:03:49
Speaker
do watch every year. i will say that. You haven't seen it, but I nope do do make a point to watch it every year.
00:03:55
Speaker
My blue is sealed over there. Then we got and all time we got some all-timers. next All these are all-timers. We got The Grinch, Jim Carrey. Goated.
00:04:07
Speaker
Then we got Home Alone, the OG. have not watched that movie in a very long time. Probably still holds up. It'll be cool to revisit that. And we also have Die Hard. Shout to What the fuck is that guy's name? Alan Rickman.
00:04:22
Speaker
Alan Rickman. Yeah, he's in it. ah And then we, the last two, we have the Santa Claus. Shout out Tim Allen. Yeah.
00:04:34
Speaker
And to wrap it up on the 30th, we have the, what is it called again? I wrote the Pwner Express. but The Polar Express. The Polar Express. That's the other one we got. that's all That's all of December 4th. you're getting this month. Tuesdays and Fridays. Ho.
00:04:51
Speaker
I'm kidding. i love you, baby. Be there or be... Gay. Yeah, yeah. Be gay. It's fine. We don't care. Is this cat, dude? Found a new one? Really fucking tested me today. Yeah? Found
Critiquing 'Jack Frost' CGI
00:05:02
Speaker
a new toy?
00:05:03
Speaker
ah Sorry, we had to like cut three times. Should we just tell them to? On January 6th, best of two guys, one screen. There you go. Again. The time they're better and badder, like worse. Like, I think I need to, like, watch what I say.
00:05:24
Speaker
now we have a censor, but... Either way, we're here to do... Guys.
Comedic Discussion of 'Jack Frost'
00:05:33
Speaker
Please. Just
00:05:36
Speaker
We're here to review fucking...
00:05:41
Speaker
Oh my god. Man, it's going crazy. we're just going to fucking plow through it. Do the fucking plug it in. i don't know, man. This is crazy. So follow us on Instagram, TwoGuysOneScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to TwoGuysOneScreenPod at gmail.com. Follow us on YouTube, TikTok. Follow us on Letterboxd individually. Send us a voicemail.
00:06:04
Speaker
We got a follower on Letterboxd. I saw you got the same bitch. i think yeah the same bitch I think it's M. Lauren. Yeah, that one. Shout out you. Thank you for following us.
00:06:15
Speaker
M Lauren too. Shout out to you. Yeah. You're not a bitch. It's just, you know, we love you. If you're following us and you don't know who we are, that means you are, you're okay with our humor. I will literally suck your clit. Thank you. so That's what's up.
00:06:26
Speaker
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. To inflation. Yes. Inflammation, not inflation. Yeah, exactly. That word. Uh, smart here. No, send us a voicemail. Five away. Eight fist us.
00:06:40
Speaker
Five away. Eight dip tip. Six minute limit. That gets your movie request to the top of the
Social Media Plug
00:06:46
Speaker
list. behavior health yeah Unless there's other VMs? Voicemails.
00:06:53
Speaker
yeah Yeah, that's coming out. That's already out, actually. it's It's been out. We haven't recorded it. It's been out. It's been out, though. Yeah. So... And then check out our physical media podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you want it?
00:07:06
Speaker
You fucking want it? I'll fucking give it to you straight. It's all linked in that fucking bitch down there, you know? I'll give you some fucking straight dick. That's what I'm fucking talking about. ask me fucking nicely.
00:07:17
Speaker
um So, yeah, we're doing Jack Frost today. This is an, I i don't know about iconic, but... Nostalgic? A core movie of both of our childhoods. Yeah.
00:07:30
Speaker
ah The movie released in 1998. This is pre 9-11, pre Chris Benoit. Damn, Chris Benoit is probably in WCW right now. But he was cooking. He was cooking, yeah. He was cooking. His fucking brain was getting cooked. Yeah, was.
00:07:43
Speaker
Yeah. It's directed by Troy Miller, who, ah I mean, how it just produces comedy specials and Dumb and Dumber, and that's all he has.
00:07:56
Speaker
Tough. Yeah, and then you do a movie that's this. You know? Right. I mean... um Also, his picture is tough. I'm not fucking that guy.
00:08:06
Speaker
That guy's nowhere near my penis ever. That guy looks like a fucking predator. Yeah, he does. handsomeson yeah ah Here's your cast. We got Michael Keaton who plays Jack Frost. I mean I'm fucking Michael Keaton for the clout.
00:08:21
Speaker
Yeah, Michael Keaton's getting no matter what. it'll Okay. Okay. It literally just went away. This recording is fucked. What went away? The doink doink went away.
00:08:34
Speaker
Where'd it go? I just clicked it and it's gone. what What the fuck is going on today?
00:08:44
Speaker
Okay. um Should I try to get it back or you want to just keep going? It's up to you. You think it's important? Because I'm fucking at least three more people. I
00:08:59
Speaker
Yeah. um We'll be right back. We're back. Here's the button.
00:09:06
Speaker
Sorry, Michael Keaton. We yeah apologize. You're getting fucked because not only are you Batman, you're fucking Beetlejuice, you're fucking the Vulture. job Yeah.
00:09:17
Speaker
Birdman, by the way, great movie. Never seen it. Always see the but we see the ah poster around. I have it in a red case, which is kind of cool. Ooh. Yeah. Speaking of Michael Keaton, should we tell them yet or no?
00:09:32
Speaker
I think we should tell them. here We're just fucking giving it all to you. all right. Well, first of all, I don't think you and I have decided on the month. What month is this going to come out? It can't, ah to be honest, it can't come out for, it could. I mean, we could do the next, we could we could record them all in December.
00:09:52
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And have it come out January. you want to January? Sure. January?
00:09:59
Speaker
Okay, so January or March. Whichever movie doesn't have more new releases. Because you know, February is not a mean month. Yeah, right. Yeah. yeah So, our next franchise. We're not letting you guys vote after the whole Pirates of the Caribbean debacle. That was fucking, wow. I mean. well We want to watch movies that we can actually get content out of.
00:10:19
Speaker
Yeah. We are going to do the unofficial Batman quadri quadrilogy. Quadrilogy. So we'll start with the 89 Batman. And then I believe you go to Batman ah Returns. Sorry, i had a fucking fart.
00:10:36
Speaker
And then we would go. I think we should go to Batman forever after that. And then Batman and Robin tie it all off. Wow. You can suck me off if you want.
00:10:47
Speaker
And only two of those movies are good. You know, think we didn't talk about either. We're just gonna do it every week or every other week. Probably every other, right?
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah, so starting in March. Yeah. Yeah, because that's going to fuck up Nami month. um This guy's back who's biting his fucking finger on the back. So scratch that whole January shit starting in March, all right? do We just on the fly type shit. It's March, but it's December, so we can tell you now. It's fine.
00:11:16
Speaker
um Okay, so Michael Keaton's getting fucked. We said that. The next one is not even a question, right? Pretty obvious. Pretty obvious. Who plays Gabby Frost? She's a fucking piece. Was she the mom and cat in the hat? like Who was she? Yeah, she was. don't even remember her from that movie.
00:11:36
Speaker
like We said we were fucking her. I mean, I'm sure we did. i don't remember like her being as hot as she was in this movie. This is younger, though. This was 98. Cat and Hat was 03. She's like... She can get fucking milked. She can get fucking whatever, dude.
00:11:51
Speaker
ah Next, we got we got Mark Addy, who plays Mac MacArthur. Hey, mate. let me Yeah, let me tell you something about this guy. He is in them literally my top five sitcoms of all time. It's called Still Standing.
00:12:06
Speaker
That is like the best sitcom that's not The Golden Girls. What is standing about? He just lives with his wife and they just go through the normal life.
00:12:16
Speaker
So it's not Mike and Molly. It's not Mike and Molly. Cause I'm pretty sure his if I remember correctly, his wife was a piece in the show. Mark Addy's wife was a piece in the show. Yeah. um He's also on a night's tale.
00:12:32
Speaker
I'm also not fucking this guy. I'm fucking him. Cause I like him. Oh, you're fucking him the... Yeah, okay. yeah That's fair. I'm fucking him because as a child, I loved this guy. When you were saying... When you were saying that you were going fuck at least three more people, the fact that picked him puts me at ease that you're not fucking the kid. I'm not fucking the kid, yeah. Yeah, alright. So I guess... I'm pretty sure...
00:12:56
Speaker
I got rid of it So you're getting the doink doink. I used to have the skip button for when one of us wanted to fuck one of us didn't. And that's not here anymore. Yeah. Sorry. I'm fucking this guy because of my childhood.
00:13:07
Speaker
That's strange to say. That's a very strange thing to say, but yes. Next we got Joseph cross who plays Charlie frost. Uh, I mean, he's, ah you got a weird head even as an adult. Yeah. a little tizzy action.
00:13:19
Speaker
Yeah. He's a kid in this movie. So just, he ain't fucking it. He ain't fucking it. ah Next we got Henry Rollins who plays Sid Gronick. Definitely not fucking this guy. He ain't fucking it. Hear me out.
00:13:34
Speaker
He ain't fucking it. I'm fucking this guy for clout, okay? But look listen. Hear me out. Look at his filmography. Heat. Bad Boys 2.
00:13:45
Speaker
Batman. Return of the Joker. Wrong Turn 2. Feast, bro. He's in Feast. Yeah, you're right. a fucking this guy. Undeniable. And then he's in a bunch of like... He's in Butthole Surfers?
00:14:00
Speaker
don't know what that is. I'm going to stand my ground and not fuck this guy, but you can definitely fuck him if you want to. That's fine. Yeah, go fuck this guy. For Cleo. I mean, he looks like a white supremacist. Look at this fucking guy.
00:14:12
Speaker
It's fucking crazy. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this guy was in ah Imperium. At some point. Oh, yeah. He was just like one of the ones at the bottom that was like a guy wearing a Ku Klux gown. Yeah, that was him.
00:14:25
Speaker
You're right. ah Next, we got Micah Borm, who plays Natalie. ah her Her picture of Letterboxd looks like a mug shot. It does. She just got arrested. Yeah. We're just not going say anything because she's a kid this movie. Yeah. Next in, along came a spider, and I've wanted to watch that movie for a while.
00:14:46
Speaker
I kind of want skip the rest. These people just talk about Rory unless you want to... No, no one else is really relevant. I would agree with you. So we got Taylor Handley who plays Rory Buck.
00:14:57
Speaker
I mean, he's... As an adult, he's kind of a piece. this This guy's kind of getting fucked too, actually. He's in the Chainsaw remake. Your favorite. is He is. He's Bird Box too. That movie sucked. You want to see my Bird Box?
00:15:09
Speaker
I'll shoot my fucking beak out of my box. Yeah. what yeah would that be sure you Would that just be a shit?
00:15:17
Speaker
Potentially. The beak coming out of the box? My beak? Yeah. Or it could be piece coming out from the wintertime hibernation. You know, your like your balls shrink and all that? Yeah, right. Yeah, it's coming out of my fucking nards.
00:15:29
Speaker
He's in Phantom of the Megaplex? I don't know what that is. Disney Channel original movie about a haunted movie theater. Fun.
00:15:40
Speaker
If you're ah new to this... a podcast. We do a scene by scene of each movie. And ah I watched this movie on a DVD and God damn looked horrible.
00:15:56
Speaker
ah the be Did you watch DVD too? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. The beginning is the toughest, right? For sure. Or or it's the it's the beginning or it's the ah the sled chase.
00:16:08
Speaker
Sled chase looks real rough. Yeah. Yeah, so it looked rough, but again, this came out in 1998. Warner Brothers, you need to do something. We need this movie on at least a Blu-ray.
00:16:21
Speaker
Right. This is something i could see like ah any one of those indie distributors putting out. Yeah, maybe. You know, like Jack Frost. Here it is. Also, we should just have a segment in the podcast now where we go, is it better or worse than Wicked?
00:16:36
Speaker
Like the CGI. Oh. just can't stop thinking about that fucking Tiger Cub they had. It's just so bad. For the time, it this was probably... No, 98? 98?
00:16:47
Speaker
Terminator 2 came out before this. Yeah. Yeah, CGI's pretty shit. Was Terminator 2 practical or CGI? Bro, there's no way a dude morphing through bars... Practically. Yeah, you're right. You right and a good flight you know what you made a good point right there. Thanks, man.
00:17:04
Speaker
There's some kind of a shit stain on my desk. i't know what it is. But yeah, Warner Brothers, I'll pay for a Blu-ray. Yeah. All right. so the worst of this fucking movie CGI starts ah with the open credit. Yeah. Off the top. It's just like, hey, you're in for a ride.
00:17:23
Speaker
I will say when I text when i because when we're both off at the same day and we're recording, we watch the same time. Right. I asked you if we could Jack Frost together.
00:17:35
Speaker
So we basically jacked off together. We did. And the only other person I've jacked Frost with is my dad. So you should be a nice. I'm in good company. Yeah, yeah.
00:17:48
Speaker
I jacked Frost with my dad. ah You know because I've seen this movie with my dad. so That means I've jacked Frost my sister, which is tough. Yeah. I guess mom and dad. might have said about row that well Shout out to family. It's family affair.
00:18:05
Speaker
Jack and Frost? Yeah. Jack and Frost. Like Breaking Bad, but Jack and Frost. Right. um You hear... And there's no meth. it's just sex with snowmen. Yeah. It's just sex with your fucking... With your inanimate dad? Well,
00:18:23
Speaker
I guess he is animate. No, he's animate. He's alive, damn it. I mean, unless they fucking the snowmen afterwards. It'd be hilarious if the snowmen, like, he left and the snowmen just there and the wife was like, fucking take me.
00:18:35
Speaker
Fucking stick him a branch in your fucking cooler. Or should they like melt him down and then use his water as like lube or something. Water is not lube! It's not going work.
00:18:48
Speaker
um But you hear that you hear Jack's band... It's called like the Jack Frost Band, I'm pretty sure. Right, because his name is Jack Frost. Yeah, I gotta take my sweatshirt off, too. I'm sorry. This is a curse recording. It is. liveel Live strip show. Alright, we're back.
00:19:05
Speaker
Doesn't fucking matter. ah And they're playing at this fucking concert, and he Jack would be blowing harmonica big. Yeah, this movie's about blowing your death.
00:19:18
Speaker
Oh my god.
00:19:23
Speaker
This movie's about blowing your dad's magical instrument. Yeah. Oh, shit. And when you need it most, he's there. Yeah, just wish for me after you blow me, and I'll be there for you.
00:19:38
Speaker
um There's this guy in the audience who's like, he's he has a flip phone, which tells you how old this movie is, and he's like, hey, listen to this, and he just puts the phone out. Like, those speakers in that phone were not that good, buddy. Crash.
00:19:51
Speaker
Um, and he says there are the bands must have, you know, they got sign them. Uh, we cut and there's this guy driving a plow, listening to the radio and the radio was just playing their live performance.
00:20:03
Speaker
We cut and school's getting out and we meet Charlie, Charlie Frost. Hey, dad. um And these kids, you know, school school ends and then they just go outside and a snowball fight.
00:20:16
Speaker
And instead, in today's time, we just have a school shooting. There's just no more just no more friendly no <unk>re just no more friendly you know school-wide snowball fights or just school-wide shootings. That's all there is right now.
00:20:29
Speaker
I mean, we can we can all share in that, though. right The mourning and the loss? Correct. Yeah, the grieving and the remembering. Yeah, of course. this is That's the new way. That's the new thing people do after schools. It's unfortunate. and it's It is. It's sickening.
00:20:46
Speaker
We should all just have a snowball fight and and bully each other that way. Yeah, that's it. I mean... I mean, these motherfucking seventh graders have a fucking catapult. That is insane, right? How's that allowed on school grounds? Yeah, I mean...
00:21:00
Speaker
Also, why is this fucking school's yard like fucking Lord of the Rings? It's like a fucking massive hill. There's a cliff in this movie randomly. There's just a fucking cliff. And then like perfect like skiing hills. like Yeah, like the geography is wild. It's in Colorado, I believe. It's fucking wild. I've never been out there, but.
00:21:18
Speaker
It looks beautiful. It is beautiful, but I don't, I still would like to know where this fucking school is. Right. So the seventh graders are fucking beating their ass. And, there's this kid strand and they do this like military, uh, bit.
00:21:33
Speaker
Uh, and Charlie, we're just gonna go after Rory. Who's like the main seventh grade bully. My cat is fucking insane. ah
00:21:45
Speaker
So Charlie able to save this kid from like getting like demolished by snowballs. And this is hilarious. Rory, who was like the lead seventh grade kids on top of this fucking snow mound. And then he just like goes down like two feet and gets off a snowboard. and He's like, yeah. And it's like, bro, you went two feet.
00:22:01
Speaker
it Relax, kid. um And Charlie slapped him across the face of the fucking snowball. And he just peaces out. Like, oh, thanks, Charlie. yeah. And he just fucking walks out. That's me.
00:22:14
Speaker
So he gets home and he's looking for dad. and But he's not black, so dad should be here. What the fuck? that's brian yeah and Shout out to Alberto, whose dad went to get the tartar sauce never came back. It's true. R.I.P.
00:22:32
Speaker
um He probably got fucking... Alright, so... He probably got fucking filleted. You you know? know my late in served fucking bolong it summer latest Yeah, Yeah.
00:22:50
Speaker
oh Yeah, I mean, you probably got fucking battered and fried and put on a sandwich for some fat fuck in the Midwest to eat. ah So there's some fucking person fixing the sink because the sink has a leak in and he thinks it's dad, but it's actually mom. Mom's here. And mom's like, dad's driving back from Denver right now, and she asked, her name's Gabby, she asked for his report card, and he did great.
00:23:16
Speaker
He's a fucking straight-A little fucking nerd he is. there Yeah, there he is. um Fruitcake? Fruit cup. I'm going start calling people fruit cups. Little fucking pear head ass. Little fucking cherry ass. Little fucking maraschino cherry ball sack head ass.
00:23:33
Speaker
Yeah, because he's kind of got like that Justin Bieber haircut before it was cool. Yeah, i mean, it wasn't cool ever, I would say, but yeah. I mean, I kind of got that now, it's alright.
00:23:47
Speaker
You're not singing baby, you know? No. Probably making her sing it. Maybe. i don't know. I don't know who her is. Yeah. Shout out to her for listening. ah Jack gets home from Denver and he like like four plus his wife that his car broke down. This guy cute. This guy hot.
00:24:08
Speaker
Yeah. He's like, you want to check out my fucking tailpipe? I'm getting a phone call. I cannot believe this shit. You'll probably get another one. ah So, yeah, they were like foreplaying the driveway about his fucking rusty tailpipe. And then ah he goes inside to wake up Charlie, who fell asleep waiting for his dad say hi. ah and Charlie, come from chocolate factory. Yeah, did.
00:24:30
Speaker
And I don't know what fucking time of night this is, but they decide right now is a great time to go outside and make a snowman. Have you ever made a snowman with like your family? Yeah.
00:24:41
Speaker
Okay, I'm just checking because I never did. Yeah, we have. Yeah, I didn't have a childhood, I guess. I mean, it's kind of overrated a little bit for me. Making snowmen?
00:24:54
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. I mean, I don't love it. Well, I would just make a small one, right, and stick a carrot and then just back up into it. Yeah, you just fucking throw that ass back on it. Throw that ass back on my snowman baby. You know I mean? That's what it's all about.
00:25:07
Speaker
i want to build a snowman. Catch my drift, Elsa. Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:13
Speaker
um And I wrote that ah Jack gives him a fucking piece instead of a nose. He does. he's He's like, oh, I thought you meant hose, not nose.
00:25:24
Speaker
Yeah. i mean and michael I mean, he was ready to throw it back into it, too. You got come in the hose and like cipher his own semen into someone else.
00:25:37
Speaker
cipher his own semen? Is that the word? i don't I don't know what you're trying to say, so I don't know. Like when you when you get gas out of like someone's pipe or whatever. know what mean?
00:25:48
Speaker
Or siphon. Yeah. Yeah, that one. Cipher is like what they do on Nami do for rapping.
00:25:55
Speaker
Yeah. that The snowman fucking cipher. Yeah, you know, it's like an ugly God thing. What's that? What's that? Double XL. Yeah, it'll be a double XL cover their fucking siphon.
00:26:06
Speaker
That's what I'm talking about. Shout out to Brian. So anyways, the Jack's fucking piece of a wife comes out and they have a snowball fight and their neighbor, Mrs. Wilkin gets mad because they're allowed and Jack's trying to pipe.
00:26:21
Speaker
You know, he's like, she looks pretty good. ah We cut to Charlie going to bed and Jack gives him his harmonica. And he said he got that from Sonny Boy Wayne, which is like a made up character.
00:26:34
Speaker
And the truth is he actually got it from a store across from the hospital the day that ah Charlie was born. That's fucking gay. Yep.
00:26:45
Speaker
It's also a shit gift. Yeah. It's like, you want anything else to give your son besides something you already had it your whole life. Like, yo, blow me. You know what mean? like He's like, I had this harmonica up my ass. Up my ass. And I didn't clean it. So now, it's your turn to use your tongue.
00:27:02
Speaker
So when you blow... yeah You're actually eating my ass. You only taste my insides. And it's magic, so I'll feel it on my nice glands up in there. So what I'm trying to say is, Daddy will always be inside you. Yeah. rabbi You're, like, using telepathy to lick my asshole.
00:27:22
Speaker
That's wild. Um... It would be crazy. He's just dead, right? And then like he's gone, and Charlie finds her monster. I guess he'll just fucking blow on it. And then Jax and him are just like, oh! He's just like, yes! The gods are like, what what is what is it, my son? Yeah.
00:27:41
Speaker
My son's eating my asshole!
00:27:48
Speaker
It's not okay. Yeah. My son's... ah Father, my son's doing assholes. Crazy. father oh Yeah, he's passing his friends like a joint. Hey, you want to try check Monica?
00:28:02
Speaker
yeah They're going to follow my son's friends. They're all fucking me. gives us that that fucking blonde chick who was wet for Charlie. ah ah um Charlie asks Jack if he can come to his hockey game. And Jack says ho' be in the studio.
00:28:17
Speaker
But Charlie's like, well, it's at four. He's like, all right, I'll be there. Don't worry about it. No big deal. He tells Charlie, as we mentioned, the harmonica has magic powers and he can hear it wherever he is. you so You blow it, I hear it.
00:28:30
Speaker
Yeah, and I'm coming to you. I'm coming. ah We cut to Jack, who was talking to his wife about something, and she's like, sing to me, daddy.
00:28:44
Speaker
And he does. oh And ah Jack he's make it big one day, then they fuck. Yeah, and well well, she got it big that day. Yeah. You know what mean? Yeah. she He's been on the road for so long. She's that fucking cock.
00:28:58
Speaker
Yeah, bro. She's fucking get dicked down. I know. ah The next day, we meet Mac, who was one of ah Jack's bandmates. He's helping Gabby hang up the Christmas lights.
00:29:11
Speaker
They're kind of flirting a little bit. Yeah, he's a bit British. I'm like, yo, he wants to fuck your mom, Charlie. It's kind of wild. the Charlie's like, yo, me too, dog. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to get back in there, dog. I'm trying to go back where I came from, boy. Yeah, I'm trying to go back to the homeland, dog.
00:29:28
Speaker
um We see Charlie who's practicing his hockey, and he's trying to hit a trash lit hanging from the garage. That's some real ghetto shit. Yeah, and Jack shows him the J shot, which is not his money shot. No, that's what I was thinking. Like, yo. Yeah.
00:29:43
Speaker
I'm to put my J shot right on your G spot. You know what mean? like Exactly. So you fucking stroke it and get the J shot off. ah yeah Yeah. So he basically just shows him his J shot. He just leaves like peace. Like have fun. Clean off your face.
00:30:01
Speaker
Hey, where's the dog? Get the dog over here. Lick it. Fucking dog. Get shut my face. ah you know Yeah. we yeah We cut to the hockey game, and this is ah Sid is the coach, and he's pissed the team's losing.
00:30:16
Speaker
ah This is the game that fucking Jack was supposed to be at. Yeah, but he didn't show up cause he's a fucking broke-ass dad. Yeah, and he just got carried away making music.
00:30:27
Speaker
yeah That can't be good, right? He makes shit music. like It's like... Is it new form jazz or some show? No, it's rock. I wouldn't listen to it now. Um,
00:30:40
Speaker
Rory plays with the rival hockey team, and we see a back and forth of ah Charlie's fucking hockey team getting demolished and Jack making music with the band. um And he realizes like pretty late into the evening that he missed the game.
00:30:54
Speaker
um And Mac drops off Jack at home, and he walks in, and Gabby's fucking pissed that he promised Charlie he'd be there, and he wasn't. And she's not mad if he flakes on her. He's like, you're promising your kid something, so like maybe show up.
00:31:08
Speaker
That is pretty important. you don't get You don't get much time with your kids, especially since you're on the road all the time. Yeah. Jack goes to Charlie's room and apologized to Charlie, and he tells him that his life goal is to be a great musician, kind of like Neiman.
00:31:25
Speaker
Yeah. But Neiman has no kids. And this guy wants to be great. And both of them got in a car accident, but one of them died, and one of snowman now. That's true.
00:31:35
Speaker
Yeah, is this movie just Whiplash gone walk gone rogue? This is Whiplash before Whiplash. It's true. This is the Christmas edition of Whiplash. Yeah, so if you you know... You how they make the holiday specials of movies? This the holiday special holiday special Whiplash. Yeah.
00:31:50
Speaker
Yeah. ah No, you're right. Um... So anyways, he apologizes and his life goal is to be a musician to make a great living for their family. A nice living. Sorry, that's the word he used. Nice.
00:32:03
Speaker
But he says it's tricky and Charlie calls him a selfish jerk. um And he pitches a little family vacation in the cabin at Pine Top.
00:32:15
Speaker
ah I mean, the fucking jokes are right themselves. I mean, you want to go to Pine Top and I'll teach my J-Shot? You know what I was talking about? J-Shot is jerk shot. I don't know what else to tell you. Yeah, we can either like... Only two things are going happen in this cabin. Either I'm going to get my balls absolutely drained or some fucking zombie deadite things are going to come in and kill us. Like, you choose.
00:32:40
Speaker
Yeah, but the thing is, he's probably not we're not insinuating he's fucking his kid. We're insinuating he's fucking his wife. Because why would you not fuck your wife? Your wife is hot. Big bombshell here. you know yeah i'm like know like If you think we're making pedophilia jokes, you're fucking wrong because his wife's a piece. Yeah, we would never do that.
00:32:55
Speaker
That's fucked up. So they cut there's a cut, and they're packing the car. And it was funny. There's like one split second where like they just do a ah shot – Gabby's face and she's like putting the luggage into the car. She's like smirking like, yeah.
00:33:10
Speaker
Yeah. Daddy's going to give it to me. Yeah. ah I'm packing this car so he can pack my twat. Yeah. Yeah. what you Pack it in there. um Fucking give me. getp Fucking stock my stocking. You you know what I mean? I've been a bad girl though. Yeah. i've been a fucking no I'm on the naughty list. Give me your fucking coal load. Give me that fucking old Saint Dick. Yeah, you know what I'm fucking talking about? Sing dickless about the pull-up and plainest seed.
00:33:39
Speaker
The phone rings for Jack, and he gets a phone call essentially saying that this these guys want to hear him like live and sign the band, but there's like three other bands that are going to there. They've narrowed it down to the final three, and he has to go tonight, and he has to go to get this deal. On course me.
00:34:01
Speaker
He won't be back by fucking Quimby. And his peace wife is like, well, i need some fucking dick. So how long can we gone for? Basically, she's like, you know, you can just go there and perform a couple songs come back, right? And he's like, yeah, yeah, I could probably do that. But i definitely won't make it back for Christmas.
00:34:17
Speaker
um And Charlie's sick of it and gives him the harmonica back. He's like, you fucking broke ass dad. He's like, stick this back up your ass. Yeah. Yeah. um So we cut and the band's driving to the gig.
00:34:32
Speaker
And there's like a fan in like Jack's car. And Jack decides to call off the gig and he takes the car to go drive to the cabin. We cut to Jack who is driving and the windshield on his car, just the windshield wipers just do not work.
00:34:47
Speaker
They're just trash. Doesn't help that they're in a blizzard. Nah. And it's fucking. Yeah. And they're not at DQ. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's no coke either. It's a blizzard. It's a weather. Right. Weather condition.
00:35:01
Speaker
It's mother nature. Yeah, that fucking cunt. Yeah. tough Fuck that bitch. ah Basically, he gets it in a car accident and you learn that he dies in this accident. He's fucking gone. A big Bridge Terabithia vibes. Yeah.
00:35:17
Speaker
ah We cut for a split second to the cabin where Charlie's looking outside thinking Dad's going to come. Kind of like Harry in the Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry. Dad ain't coming, Harry.
00:35:29
Speaker
Dad. Dad. Hermione, that was my dad. My dad cast the Patronus. My dad's a stag. Yeah. um We cut and... Well, Fade to Black. Shout to that movie Fade to Black, by the way. Great movie.
00:35:48
Speaker
ah Charlie is getting out of school and it's one year later. And he's really contemplating, should I go back inside and do it? And Rory tries to bully bully him and one of Rory's friends say that Charlie's not worth it anymore since his dad died.
00:36:06
Speaker
it's kind of sad, huh? Yeah. And Charlie's walking down this road and Mac pulls up in the truck and he's like, hey, you want to ride home? He's like, I'm not going home.
00:36:17
Speaker
He's like, okay. He's like, well, I'll see you tonight. I drown myself. He's like, I'll see you tonight then. He's like, what? And then yeah and then the the viewer is like, is he fucking his mom now?
00:36:29
Speaker
Mac's about to show me who the fucking Mac daddy is. Mac would give me his fucking back shot. Yeah.
00:36:38
Speaker
Hey, bro, if you want to see my Big Mac. Hey, bro. You want another secret ingredient in Mac sauce? It's my fucking cup. Yeah. they And it's fucking it.
00:36:49
Speaker
Yeah. That's the vibe. you like Oh, he's fucking his mom. Yeah. But he's like, no, babysitting tonight. So ah they say, you know, the scene ends and you're like all right, Charlie's not going home, but we cut and Charlie's home and he's shoveling the driveway.
00:37:08
Speaker
Kinda. Kinda. He's trying and he gets plowed in. Drive-by plowing. plow. Yeah, I'll get you.
00:37:18
Speaker
um And he's trying to move all the snow the way now. and His mom is about to pull in. And ah he just kind of breaks down crying. He's like, I got it, mom! yeah And he just can't do it.
00:37:32
Speaker
Because, you know, he's a fucking 11-year-old kid who lost his dad. And this is his first summer, or not summer, first winter without him. He's never... Snood. Yep.
00:37:44
Speaker
yep Snow shoveled in his life. Shoveled snow. Yeah. Yeah. um We cut and Gabby sits down with Charlie in their like living dining room and they were drinking a hot chocolate. And she says. Hot chocolate. chocolate. Yeah.
00:38:05
Speaker
I have me too. i hate argument but ah She's like, I'm not to tonight. I'll just stay in and snoodle you. And he's like, no, I'm good with Mac. It's fine.
00:38:17
Speaker
We cut to Charlie and Mac watching this band. And Mac says that Jack played with them at one point. And Charlie's like, well, it's nice know he had time for someone. deep. What's weird is like, I wonder if they ever told Gabby and Charlie, like, hey, he was driving like to the cabin and died in the accident.
00:38:36
Speaker
I'd hope so, right? But the vibe is like, like yeah he just fucking died going to the gig. Yeah, like he's like a deadbeat. He never said goodbye. Yeah, like he canceled the gig to go to you guys. Right.
00:38:46
Speaker
Like they Charlie's still mad at him. Right. Charlie watches ah ah neighboring family build a snowman together. He goes outside and builds a snowman alone.
00:39:01
Speaker
And he gives this snowman all of Jack's fucking accessories. He gives him a scarf, a pin that says Jack Frost, which... Doesn't have on the majority of the movie. It's just not there. They show it, but it's not there.
00:39:14
Speaker
Irrelevant. And Jack's fucking... I mean, it's a fedora. Don't get me wrong. It a fedora, yeah. But I just think of those really weird kids that used to wear fedoras in high school and shit. Yeah. The ones um yeah that used to sit on the couch. The couch kids.
00:39:31
Speaker
Shout out to couch kids. If you fucking know, you know. um He finds a harmonica. his He finds dad's harmonica, the one he gave back to him. And he starts blowing dad's... Starts blowing dad's fucking little wood piece. Yeah. Yep.
00:39:51
Speaker
And... um Would this be part of the woodwinds? It's a woodwind instrument? I think so. Yeah. um Starts blowing me a dad's fucking reed.
00:40:06
Speaker
This exhausting. Yeah.
00:40:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Because you know they're playful with their food that whole hot chocolate marshmallow scene. Oh, yeah, they are. They're like the fucking food play. well Fucking freaks they are after youna me in peanut butter So Charlie barricades the door and we see their dog Chester um take the take fucking Jack's arm which is a branch and the dog is a smart fucking dog.
00:40:45
Speaker
Leaves it in the road and Jack goes to take it and gets taken away by a snow plow and he gets fucking plowed into the wall. you need to Didn't break down the wall but became one with the wall.
00:40:56
Speaker
That's new. um then he has to put his balls back together and uh gabby arrives home and she sees the snowman outside he's just like kinda know posing fucking poser and she kind of like adjusts his his scarf and is like you're cute or whatever i don't know yeah i'd fuck this shit out this snowman fucking sticking the branch or twat i don't know oh my god i'm gonna get splitter making eye contact with those fucking rocks for eyes that he has. She's like, you fucking like that?
00:41:27
Speaker
She starts like like, kind of like doing like a strip tease and puts her his hat on her head. yeah yeah Yeah, she like pulls a scarf off. She's like, yeah. yeah yeah You like when act like a fucking high school car guard girl?
00:41:42
Speaker
the fuck?
00:41:52
Speaker
That's bad. That's not great. That's not great. That's not great. That's not great. That's fucking bad. don't know why thought of that, but yeah.
00:42:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:12
Speaker
Yeah, I'm in the fucking band. I tore my flag. You want a watch? Yeah.
00:42:20
Speaker
Yeah. Give you a fucking branch you can sit on. Oh, I mean, knew what are we doing? What are we doing with life? I don't know. This is fucking horrible. ah We're going to put this on the internet. Yeah, we are. I'm happy with that.
00:42:38
Speaker
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. So anyways, she goes inside. she Yeah, I didn't stop. She goes inside and ah Jack's like fucking stroking watching her fix the sink.
00:42:55
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I know how you use a pipe. Yeah, i fucking never fixed that. We cut to Jack walking down the street and he asks the universe fucks for some kind of sign.
00:43:09
Speaker
And then Sid pulls up in his Jeep whatever the fuck he has. Um...
00:43:16
Speaker
And Sid realizes the snowman is alive and he starts screaming and puts in fucking reverse, Terry. He's not throwing it back on Jack. He puts his car reverse. Yeah, he's scared. um Charlie wakes the next day and goes outside see this snowman that has a blow dryer.
00:43:33
Speaker
um and charlie stays strapped jack tries to talk to him but he freaks the fuck out and he runs and then just happens to run into rory in the woods bullying that little girl um and he just doesn't care ah jack launches a snowball at these kids uh and all you hey you want to fucking go yeah like only seen i actually remember besides him fucking dying it's him just launching snowballs at these pretty much And he runs out of gas is what he says, which like kind of bullshit, but whatever.
00:44:06
Speaker
all you got his sticks. Charlie runs to a cliff for some reason. He's to fall off this fucking cliff. And Jack launches himself off a fucking sled. He uses his fucking fat dumper to launch him upwards.
00:44:23
Speaker
And he catches Charlie midair and then lands back on the his bottom half with Charlie. And then there's this long sled chase scene. And then they – Jack splits the shed in half.
00:44:37
Speaker
The she shed? Fucking shed. What shed? Sled. Yeah, and they – turns into a snowboarding ah adventure. Oh, you missed the part where he got tits. So now he can – He had two tits and he pushed him into one and then pushed him into one. Yeah. He was like fucking juggling him too. Yeah, he It like fucking strange.
00:45:00
Speaker
So the scene ends and Charlie still doesn't believe that the snowman's his dad. And he starts asking all these questions, but he can't answer any of them because as we've said, Jack's a deadbeat.
00:45:11
Speaker
But he calls him Charlie boy. And it's like that Martha moment. It's like, what'd you say? right What'd you call me? Only my dad calls me that in bed. That's wild.
00:45:22
Speaker
ah So he's like, I'm hungry. Let's just go home and talk. so So we cut and they're in the house and he's got like snow peas for him. He's like, you might like these. Yeah, because you're made of snow or fucking peas. I want you to pee on me, dad. Yeah. Golden shower me.
00:45:38
Speaker
um The pee might actually melt them. Warm piss. Oh, yeah. Wood. Yeah. Wood. All right. So. Gabby arrives home and notices the snowman's not in the front yard.
00:45:51
Speaker
She's like a fucking loser by boy. Yeah, and she's a fucking bank teller. They act like she's like a fucking, you know, she works 12-hour shifts. and She's a fucking bank teller. They're only open like, what, 9 to 5? Barely.
00:46:01
Speaker
She's got federal holidays off. It's true. And the fucking Jewish ones. It's ridiculous. Uh-oh. Fuck you, Yom Kippur. Yeah.
00:46:14
Speaker
um I'm going to fucking yawn skipper that holiday. know what I'm talking you about? oh um Oh, so she opens like the pantry or whatever to like get like a fucking mop or something. he's like, Mom!
00:46:27
Speaker
And she doesn't look, but Jack like hands, he's hiding in the closet because he's gay. yeah Right, hands are the fucking mop. She starts drying the floors and then she notices the windows open and when she closes it, she notices the snowman's back outside.
00:46:41
Speaker
She's like, I'm Delulu. We cut and it's like nighttime. Night. And ah Charlie is like scrolling through the channels to like find his dad wants to watch. He's literally watching 9-11. Yeah, it's fucking insane. Literally weird liked the world traits when Nicolas Cage is happening on the screen. And he's like, yeah, don't like that. Obviously you don't like obviously you don't like that. Well, it couldn't have been 9-11. It just came out in 98.
00:47:08
Speaker
No, I know, but it's just fucking wild. What they were watching i was fucking wild. Like, whoa, Jack Frost, this movie, predicted 9-11, just like The Simpsons.
00:47:19
Speaker
Did they actually? They predict everything. That's fact. um and One of the challenges he hits is the news, and it's Sid who's telling this lady he saw a snowman that spoke to him. It's like, yeah, sure, bud.
00:47:32
Speaker
um The weatherman says it's going to not quite a white Christmas because Brian's still around. Yeah, fuck that guy. ah Are you coming on the podcast?
00:47:43
Speaker
ah Gabby walks in and notices that the snowman is now facing the window. And she tries to talk to Charlie because he quit the hockey team. And he's like, Mom, I'm trying to watch the weather.
00:47:57
Speaker
ah Bro, if my kid ever told me that, I'd slap him upside the head. Yeah, I'd fucking throw him through the TV. Like, why the fuck are you watching the weather? It's the fucking weather, bro. That's weird. ah We cut to the next day, and Charlie's trying to leave his house without his dad seeing, but obviously he's located, and Charlie's like, yo, stop following me, dad. Yeah, I'm not a kid you anymore, dad.
00:48:23
Speaker
But he convinces Charlie let him go with him, and we cut, and Charlie is pulling ah Jack on a sleigh. And ah we cut to Gabby, who sees Charlie dragging Jack. He's not Jack and Jack. He's just dragging Jack. just dragging him by the fucking cock.
00:48:42
Speaker
And then she goes to ask Mac, and Mac's like, listen, bruv. Listen, bruv. Can't be jacking a Jack like that. But I know who you can be, Jackin.
00:48:55
Speaker
He just drops his drawers. I haven't had a Jackin. yeah yeah You know? Yeah. it's It's on the new McDonald's menu, Jack and Mac. You know what i mean? Yeah. I was trying to think of, like, what's the British term? Like, it's been a minute. I don't know what it is.
00:49:12
Speaker
So we cut to ah Jack and Charlie the Woods. Yeah.
00:49:21
Speaker
Jack and Charlie. Yeah, they're in the woods. ah i I said Jack and Charlie, but like Jack and I didn't mean to say that. Yes, he's Jack and Charlie. He's not funny. yeah um which dad yeah Jack and Charlie Johnson.
00:49:40
Speaker
Yo, why do we have a whole ass statue in our high school? I don't know. I think about that more and more. It's so weird. A whole fucking statue inside the high school. Insane. Insane. So, of one guy. That's...
00:49:57
Speaker
We have to cut that. yeah Shout out to that kid. ah So, he apologized. Charlie apologized to Jack for...
00:50:09
Speaker
Give him the harmonica back. ah But Jack wants to know why he quit the hockey team. And he teaches him his J-shot out in the woods with no one around.
00:50:19
Speaker
They go home and Jack ah is trying to tell Charlie that he needs to like rejoin the hockey team and fix his grades and take care of his mom. he needs to be the fucking man of the house.
00:50:31
Speaker
Yeah. He's being ah an actual dad. Right. Finally. uh charlie walks in and uh mac is there with gabby and uh max like we can go to this uh shiver fest and they come across a father son snowman building competition i mean what are we doing what are we doing yo this is gay shit i don't know and this his dad and his son they build a snowman they just fucking high five and it's like give me a fucking break did you do that with your dad give him high five
00:51:02
Speaker
Have I given my dad a high five? I've given my dad a high five multiple times. yeah There's actually a really funny story that Jake talks about all the time. with my father, he wasn't jacking him, but ah we, I found a umbrella in my car that was like the, where you hold it, the handle was like very sticky.
00:51:24
Speaker
me And Jake was on the phone with me and I was like, yo dad, I found this umbrella in my car and it's all fucking sticky. And he, I i mean, Jake could probably tell you exactly what he said, but he exaggerates. But he said something to the effect of like, yeah, where were you fucking sticking it?
00:51:40
Speaker
oh Like, where were putting it in? And like, he said that and we all three of us laughed at it and I gave him a high five for that, you know? Nice. Yeah. you know definite that up Yeah.
00:51:52
Speaker
My dad doesn't know what a dap is. Yeah. ah We they cut to go see the band at the Shiver Fest and Mac doesn't want to play anymore or he doesn't play anymore. And he say he lost his groove.
00:52:08
Speaker
I lost my groove. He retired. Now he works at like fucking Harbor Freight or something. Yeah. Works at Harbor Freight. I shop in knives. Yeah. um And he says that music like would never slip my own cock off. know mean?
00:52:21
Speaker
Sure. Give myself a circumcision. Myself. They say that shit, those British fucks. They do. um And he says that music became work after Jack died. And we cut to ah Charlie sitting in bed playing with dad's piece. ancient farage Fucking like teasing it across the edges and shit.
00:52:47
Speaker
Yeah, he's blowing on dad's harmonica. And the weatherman, the next day we hear a voiceover saying it's 55 degrees outside and he's fucking melting. Gonna be hot.
00:52:58
Speaker
And Charlie basically tells his father that he's going to join the hockey team again. And this van pulls up and it's not the grabber. It's not Ethan Hawke. Unfortunate. It is the it's the whole all the the whole gang, the whole group of kids from the hockey team. Right. And Charlie apologizes and asks to get put back on the team.
00:53:17
Speaker
He leaves, but Jack is fucking melting. And he asks the dog, Chester, to help him out. and there's a montage of Charlie at the at the game. And ah Jack trying to get to this game. And he gets the dog to fucking yank him in this sled. Yeah, yank me this way, baby. Yeah. And then he hits this parking lot against the cross. And he basically, like, slides across his parking lot and, like, melts a lot.
00:53:41
Speaker
We see Charlie hit the game winner against their rivals. Because he he used a J shot. He hit him with the fucking money load right there. Yeah, and then ah Jack is able to watch that happen. He's able to see his son play hockey one time in his whole fucking life. Yeah, gets to watch his son give somebody the J shot.
00:54:02
Speaker
He's like, damn, taught my son that. ah Charlie meets up with his dad who is standing outside of the... not the He's like he's like in the building but not in the rink. And he's melting.
00:54:14
Speaker
ah And they open the rink up to like free skate so he can't put this you know Jack on the in ice rink. So Charlie runs off and he sees a pine top truck and has a light bulb moment. He's going to send his dad off into the mountains.
00:54:30
Speaker
He's going to get fucking topped off. Yeah, until the fucking pine tar comes out, you know i mean? Yeah. Fucking secrete me, dude. You know what mean? Like, yeah put a little spigot in me. I'll be ready to go.
00:54:42
Speaker
Yeah, I'll be fucking oozing like maple syrup. That's what talking about. ah so Charlie runs into his mom's work. She's literally a fucking bank teller, but she's worked a death to death as a fucking bank teller. what are you, working doubles? Like, she's a fuck-up lady.
00:54:56
Speaker
And he finally tells her her... That Jack is the snowman because this whole time they're all like, yo, he's fucking talking to snowman. It's really sus. Like, why are you talking to him like that?
00:55:07
Speaker
Yeah, like get a fucking life. Like they're all like, oh, he's trying to cope with losing his father. So he's talking this snowman like his father. there They all think he's a loony bin. Right. And he she doesn't believe him. So he just runs off and then she tries to like chase after him.
00:55:21
Speaker
um But she goes home. Like, why the fuck would he be home? Right, he's not going to go there. Yeah, so she goes to Mac to ask for some help. ah Charlie gets Jack in a car and brings him to the back of his pine top truck.
00:55:34
Speaker
And ah Rory decides he wants to fucking fight right now. And Jack's like, yo, man. Leave my kid alone, dog. Also, why you say stupider? That's not even a word. You're stupid.
00:55:46
Speaker
And ah Charlie tells Roy that's his dad. And Roy's like, yeah, you know what? Snow dad is better than no dad. Yeah. I know what it's like. All the Bryans out there. Yeah. I know what like to have no dad. sucks.
00:55:58
Speaker
Yummy. Um. So the pine top truck with to pull out, but it gets, it almost gets in an accident with this fucking plow. So they have enough time to put the snowman Jack into the back of the truck.
00:56:13
Speaker
Um, and then, ah you see them drive off for a while. It's like, bro, is this fucking movie going to end anytime soon? Like they're driving off now to like a fucking tech location. It's like an hour and 45 for no reason.
00:56:26
Speaker
Yeah. We cut to Gabby telling a cop about her missing child. There's a bit here about like, oh, you know what does the snowman look like? White? Caucasian? LOL. Late?
00:56:37
Speaker
Age? I guess. Age? About a couple days. We cut to Charlie and Jack would jump off the back of his truck ah and they go at night and they go to the cabin.
00:56:50
Speaker
the pine top cabin. And that's when Jack calls, uh, Gabby and tells her to come get Charlie. And she's like, Jack, Jack. He's like, yeah, it' it's like like, not right now.
00:57:04
Speaker
It's like a scene from the Hulk that like lives eternally in my brain where fucking, I fucking hate that bitch. I forget who plays her. Oh, yeah, I know what you talked But she just stand yeah she's just standing there when she sees Hulk, and she's like, Bruce?
00:57:23
Speaker
Bruce, is that you? From 03, right? ah No, I think it's... Oh, wait. I think it's a canon one. You hate Jennifer Connelly, I thought. Yeah, isn't she in... ah She's in the 03 one. Incredible Hulk, the new one in the MCU, is a different lady. Liv Tyler. Oh, you hate her. Yeah, that bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's her. you Yeah, you hate Liv Tyler. That's right. I forgot. She's got big ears.
00:57:44
Speaker
She do. So, Jack tells Charlie it's time to fucking let him go. It's Christmas morning.
00:57:55
Speaker
And Gabby pulls up and realizes that the snowman's Jack. He's Jack. eat Wow. And we get a, I wrote a force ghost of Jack. Yeah, that's kind of cool. And she's like singing me one last time while she's like fucking flicking her shit.
00:58:09
Speaker
Flicking her shit right front of her son. Yeah. And there's a little bit of a blizzy as he goes away, it's just her fucking squirt. Right. And then it freezes in midair and then they like collect it.
00:58:21
Speaker
And I'll be honest, I stopped writing notes, but I'm pretty sure the end movie is them on Christmas and Mac is playing the piano. Yeah, so like they fucking for sure. Yeah. And then is there anything else?
00:58:31
Speaker
No. Okay. Irrelevant. That is the end of Jack. Jack me frost. Jack me frosty. ah What do you, I mean, this is a, what was the last thing you watched this movie? I was at least four.
00:58:47
Speaker
Oh, last time you watched this movie? Yeah, it's been like six or seven years old maybe I've watched it last. want to say like two years ago. Really? Yeah. Oh, i watch I haven't watched this like over 20 years easily. Oh.
00:59:01
Speaker
Yeah, so it was cool to revisit it. It was pre-Letterbox, but not much. Pre-Letterbox, but post 9-11, post Chris Benoit. On Fort, yeah.
00:59:12
Speaker
What are you going to rate it? So nostalgia is a bitch because I was going into it like, damn, this movie rocks. Like it's it's a good movie. Yeah. I think I'm going to give it a three.
00:59:25
Speaker
I think I'm also going to give it a three. Yeah. This movie is a 2.8. Yeah. yeah I really want to give it a 3.8 or three and a half. But like that's just nostalgia talking.
00:59:36
Speaker
It's still i think it's a fine watch. I think three and a half is aggressive. Yeah. It's a good movie. Yeah. It's not a great movie. Oh, I had a 2.5 on Letterboxd, not 2.8. Yeah, I'm going to give it a 2.5. Most of the people follow on Letterboxd gave it a 1 or 1.5. You're giving 2.5? average is 2.5. I said 2.8, but it's 2.5. Shout out 639 people
00:59:57
Speaker
who gave it a 5. I really wish I could see As a it was 5. For chad to the six hundred and thirty nine people who gave their five i really wish i could see that as a kid who was a five for sure Um, that is our review on Jack Frost. We'll do a, plugy plugin fuck me so ah yes follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
01:00:30
Speaker
Follow us on letterbox individually. Follow us on YouTube. TikTok. Send us a voicemail. Five away. Eight fist us real hard. Five away. Eight dip tip. Six minute limit. Fist me till I bleed.
01:00:43
Speaker
And go listen to our physical media podcast. Yeah, you want it? Do you fucking want it or not? We'll give it to you. I am patiently waiting for your answer if you want or not.
01:00:54
Speaker
It's all in the description. Leave us a like, comment, tell us how fucking vile we are, whatever you want. Yeah, I mean, we'll see how much this actually goes out. Yeah. That was crazy. ah So
01:01:09
Speaker
I did this wrong question mark. Five. Oh, yeah. If you're listening to this, it's Friday. On Tuesday, we have an episode for you on Mean One.
01:01:20
Speaker
And then a week from today, we have another episode on Fat Man. Those are your next two episodes. ah And that's all i have to say about that. Yeah.
01:01:31
Speaker
i will like that See you guys on Tuesday. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark. I'm going to plow you with a carrot. Yeah. ah