Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
How to Prioritize your Health and Fitness While Having a Family to Take Care of
52 Plays1 year ago
In todays episode we sit down with Coach Lindsey and talk about the challenges moms face when they have health and fitness goals. How to navigate unplanned activities, road blocks and taking charge of your family's schedules so you don't have to sacrifice what matters to you.
Instagram: @thefitfemmeproject
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitfemmeprojectfitnesscoaching/
Website: www.fitfemmeproject.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Purpose
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the FitFem project alignment podcast. It is here that we cultivate and gather all who have been through it in fitness, relationships, careers, lifestyle changes, and unforgettable crucial life pivots trying to achieve their most sovereign selves.
Guest Experiences and Life Challenges
00:00:19
Speaker
We're here to provide you with thought-provoking detailed stories and information from truly fascinating men and women from all walks of life, professions, generations, and modern day sagas who speak to the rawest, darkest moments that made them the strong, decisive, humble, helpful, healing people that they are today. We ask them to hold nothing back because life is a multidimensional pursuit to be stronger, healthier, and more aligned mentally, emotionally, and physically. Let's go.
Balancing Health and Family Responsibilities
00:00:52
Speaker
Hello friends, welcome back to the FFP Alignment Podcast. I'm sitting here with the gorgeous coach, Lindsay, in her home in Arkansas. Today we are talking to you moms out there and how you can prioritize your health and fitness while at the same time having a family to take care of. Something you seem to know a lot about, right? Yeah, I've been practicing a bit. For how long? Oh, my oldest is 13. Yeah. So at least that long.
00:01:20
Speaker
So what have you experienced in that timeframe as challenges in managing your health and fitness and children and a husband, right? Oh yeah. Well, yeah. Married for 20 kids. My first, my oldest daughter's 13. My youngest is seven. And I think in what I see in myself or have seen in myself in what I see now in women who are trying to find
00:01:51
Speaker
I want to say balance, but figure out how to. Right. Balance is overused. Yeah, it is. It's overused, but it just figure out how to make their dreams happen while keeping the home afloat and running and moving and grooving is how to not let your own needs be the first thing that flies out the window when something unplanned happens. So if a kid gets sick, well now you've missed your workout and don't have time.
00:02:19
Speaker
to prep your food. So you got to start again after the kid gets better. Or if we're traveling, somebody has a competition or a practice and I'm not going to be home at regular dinner time, so I can't stay on track. And just that mindset of I can do it if everything goes exactly according to plan because spoiler alert, it ain't. So where would you find yourself when you're going through that process of kind of where you've gotten to now?
00:02:48
Speaker
Um, kind of the, like, was it the traveling or was it the, you know, kids sports that would always, I guess, I don't know, slip you up or like it's, it's so when I think back on it, like the very first like kind of, you know, roadblock I would run into is like a lot of moms, I didn't have time to work out and you know this about me, but when my older daughter was first born, I ended up being stay at home mom.
00:03:15
Speaker
Right. So... Well, they know. We talked about that. Oh, yeah. Okay. If you're an OG listener, if you're not... Go back a few episodes.
Identity Shift for Stay-at-Home Moms
00:03:26
Speaker
Meet me. But it was just like a surprise. Like, okay, I'm gonna say I'm a mom now. So my mind is like, okay, that's a huge shift. Oh, it's huge in like crushing.
00:03:36
Speaker
You know, I feel like I'd be a little, I don't know. I wouldn't want to say crush, but I would want to keep steamrolled. Yeah. Like this is way different, way different. Like I had to like, I felt like try to like wear a new personality. I'm a stay at home mom, domestic goddess, like trying to be really good at it, you know? Yeah. Not good at it. But I was like, well, I have to work out like the super or like the five a.m. And this is back when I did classes. Crossfit.
00:04:06
Speaker
No, this was even before CrossFit. Yeah, like boot camp classes. And I was like, okay, well, I have to go to five a.m. I'm not going to do it because we had story time and library and then it's the mommy and me and we nap at the, you know, it was just like everything was designed around my duties now as a mom, which were all day. Yeah. And so I was like five a.m. class. Okay. Well, what happens if your baby wakes up at four forty two?
00:04:36
Speaker
Yeah. Right? Just like, you just don't, well, you just don't go to your class. Yeah. Or what do you do if your baby wakes up at midnight and now you're up. And so it's like this constant like, do I get my sleep or do I go to class and now my husband has to get up and go to work all day if I make him get up. That's where it started being like, if something didn't go right,
00:05:01
Speaker
I started having to sacrifice what I really wanted to do. And you know how that is. Then what are you resentful? Like resentful. Cause you feel like you're the one who's always having to give up something. The one I was. Yeah. Well true. And I think that's a part like I didn't really realize about set home parents is how one of the reasons it's so hard is you are like,
00:05:27
Speaker
I don't know how to say this nicely, but like you're the family bitch. If something happens, you go get the kid. You pick up the dry cleaning. You're the butler. You want to be the butler.
Emotional Labor in Family Dynamics
00:05:43
Speaker
Yeah, I feel that. So would you say like looking back or like parents or moms who are going through, I guess, having a newborn, there's like a time in your life where
00:05:56
Speaker
it will be different as far as like, it's okay if you don't make it to the gym. Like if this is a temporary, it's okay to prioritize your sleep in your children or something like that. You know what I mean? It is. And I think it's really important too, to understand that there are different modalities of fitness. True. Yeah. And have something be knowledgeable and flexible enough. Or if you can't make your class, all that means is you didn't make a class. It doesn't mean that you can't do
00:06:24
Speaker
A walk. That doesn't mean that you can't do a YouTube yoga video while your baby lays on a mat and laughs at you. There's lots of things you can do to just kind of flow with it instead of being like, well, forget it today. Yeah. I'm not a mom, but I've definitely done that. Well, I can't do this one thing, so F it all. Exactly. Yeah.
Community Support vs. Family Support
00:06:47
Speaker
What have you seen with your clients that you see the biggest obstacle in this arena for them?
00:06:53
Speaker
like kids or just everything I guess everything in general having a family and you know that is something well you know what I mean and I don't know just from my experience the women are the captains of the ship yeah they delegate some stuff and some women delegate more you know some are like tell but they're always the ones telling and there is it's called emotional labor right where
00:07:20
Speaker
Yeah, you know, my husband does a lot of stuff, but I had to tell him to. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's just that part where you are the captain. Yeah. Like you delegate, you tell. That's exhausting. It is. It's just like mentally draining, but it is what it is. Yeah. We can be mad about it all day long. Yeah. I could be mad that I store belly fat in a donut shape around my belly button all day long.
00:07:49
Speaker
It is what it is. This is life. So just being able to roll with it. And I think what I know for myself is understanding that when you tell people you love, especially it seems like men are more inclined to want to solve your problem. Thanks, but you're just talking like you're just being like a man. I mean, it's not sitting there like X, Y, Z. Right. And you're like,
00:08:16
Speaker
When do you want me to do it? You know, and like, well, for me to do that, you would have, and it just turns into this like tumultuous cycle of like, and I think understanding that sometimes when you want to do stuff for yourself, you do not need permission or support from everybody. Right. You just do it. You just start doing it. And nobody's going to say bow to you. You are the boss anyway. Yeah.
00:08:40
Speaker
And I think that's another great thing about the Fitzhim project is understanding that, yeah, your husband doesn't support you. Maybe that's not your person for that. Right. Yeah. He doesn't have to be, he doesn't have to understand your was when he can't exactly relate to that. But the women, your coach, the other women on your team, they do. And having that support means a lot. You don't feel as isolated.
00:09:07
Speaker
You don't feel as confused and alone in searching when it's like, yes, I've been through this. XYZ like, yeah, you don't have to tell your husband like things that, you know, when you're not looking for a solution, you just want understanding and support. Right. Yeah. You just don't try to turn. Don't try to turn. What's the saying? Um, no, no, no. Like don't try to turn something into something. Oh, don't turn a mole Hill into a mountain. Yeah. Just maybe.
00:09:36
Speaker
Not every single person is going to be your support for each individual part of your life. As much as, you know, I'm not, I don't have a family, but I have a boyfriend. Same thing, right? Well, not that I've created. No. Yeah. So, but I mean, as wonderful as it is to have the partner that's going to the workouts with you and helping you prep food, Ebola, that's always reality. And
00:10:03
Speaker
Yeah. Like you said, it's good to find the community that can support you. So like, yeah, it'd be great to have the husband that is, um, you know, right there in it with you, but it's not always how it's going to be. And that is, and it's okay. And it doesn't make your relationship less or him a worse person because he's not exactly, he's just a whole, like there he's a person. And I just always, you know, relate it back to people like, well, that's because I understand why I need a coach and
00:10:33
Speaker
Why can't you do this on my own? So what do you tell the clients who say that? He doesn't need to. Yeah. It's not his to understand. Um, and you don't need to like go into depth trying to, and it's like, I find these people like they're, they keep approaching their husband from new angles. Like, Oh, but do you understand it when I explain it like this or like this? I'm like, just stop. You know what I mean? Just, just let it, just let it happen organically.
00:11:01
Speaker
And that's kind of the approach, of course, we've been married for a long time. And I- We've had your own little
Resistance and Relationship Dynamics
00:11:06
Speaker
curves. We've had our own little curves and I'm just, I will just do weird stuff. But I learned like what? Like just starting CrossFit all of a sudden, you know? And then going into bodybuilding, you know? We've been married for not, at that time it was like only 18 years, but
00:11:27
Speaker
to say, so just a heads up, I'm going to be on a stage in a thong with rhinestones on it showing off my butt cheeks, you know, and having him be like, I heard that wrong. Did he like, did his brain short circuit? Yes. So it
00:11:48
Speaker
I'm pretty sure by that time, what you said, 18 years he was used to you kind of just, this is what I'm doing. Thank you. Bye. Well, and I don't, I'm just kind of started doing it. And he was like, and eventually he was like, what are you even doing? And I was like, funny. You should ask. Sit down. That being said, everybody's husband is not black mind. Yeah. And I get that. But again, it's, you don't,
00:12:13
Speaker
try to force someone to understand something when they're not there yet. Sometimes it's just about quietly doing what's best for you and having faith that someone that genuinely cares about you and has your best interests at heart will see you getting happier, will see you getting healthier, will see you in just an overall better mental state and naturally absorb, this is good for her. This is good for us.
00:12:41
Speaker
That's cute. I love that. You know, starting just doing it quietly, find the community. If you really want to talk about it and find that support, find it somewhere else. That's fine. It is just doing it quietly and then people will kind of catch on. And a lot of it too, I think is, you know, as women tend to have a hard time speaking up for ourselves. So like, if you're changing your habits or changing this or
00:13:01
Speaker
Oh, I'm not going to drink tonight when you normally would then stand up for yourself. And they might be like, Oh, come on. A lot of times that's a spouse too. Like I've had clients, you know, in, I mean, not really myself, but we're like, it was just like, not tradition, but this is what we do. We get home from Mark, we pour a glass of wine and we cook dinner.
00:13:28
Speaker
That's my favorite thing in the world. Right. And A, you can do that if you want to. What if you don't? What if you kind of want to not drink during the week to see if that helps you progress towards your goals faster, or you just feel like it's not in your best interest anymore. It's not serving you the way that it once did. And you know, go through all the reasons of why someone would be taken aback by that.
00:13:55
Speaker
Are you holding up a mirror to them and like, this isn't, we're in a healthy habit. I'm taking myself out of it and leaving you there. But then they're not ready to change. Is it, I feel like you are changing away from me. Like you're pulling away from me. All kinds of stuff. And you are going to be scared. You're going to face resistance.
00:14:24
Speaker
Which might happen. Every time you do something that's worth it, there's hard. It's hard. There's resistance. It's uncomfortable. And you're going to run into things you have to solve and get through. Yeah, that's really hard. It is. Those are mountains, not molehills. It can be. And it has them for people. And I've even worked with people who had partners literally try to sabotage them. Have the glass of wine already poured.
00:14:54
Speaker
and have a sob story about how they had a terrible day. I need you to drink a glass of wine with me and talk. Me drinking the wine was going to help you. That's a true story. Oh my gosh. That's a true story. Um, have people like flat outs look at them up and down and say, use programming work. I've seen it all. Cut and run, cut your losses. But I mean, it just always comes up and again, it's,
00:15:22
Speaker
Try not to internalize it. View it. It's impossible. But to really fall back on the community that you do have. Again, it's glass half full. What support do I have? This is what I have. I'm gonna lean into that right now. And you know it's good for you, so it is hard to, you know, when you get those comments, God forbid, that ever happens to people, even though it does.
00:15:49
Speaker
But to like you said just lean into the community that you know is support because you know, this is good for you You're not going out and partying and that's bad for you. You're not doing something that is knowingly bad for you You're doing something that is actually good, right? You haven't announced you're gonna you've decided to start taking meth. Yeah You know what I mean? Like I'm not gonna drink every night the audacity of you You think you're taking for us? And that's just what you gotta like
00:16:15
Speaker
That's what I would remind myself like I'm just breaking this. Nicole, like geeks out on this, but it's like breaking those like synapses in your brain of like, this is what the connection to your brain has made. It's habit. That's a habit, right? And it's really hard to break that you're changing your brain chemistry when you're
00:16:33
Speaker
Um, changing your habits and saying no to something that you would always say yes to. And then you've got that spouse who is an extension of your brain chemistry. Just be like, no, we're doing this because this is what we always do. And I want to be comfortable. Yeah. And I think I do know that for me, that wouldn't
00:16:53
Speaker
I'm kind of interested in something and I hear someone else say, no, it's extremely difficult. And I'm like, cannot wait to get started on this. That's how my brain works is when I'm interested in something and I hear how hard it is, how people can't do it. And I'm just like, definitely doing that. Everybody likes it. But people get used to you. But through working with clients, I have
00:17:21
Speaker
gain so much insight and I think like empathy into fear. And that's what a lot of what it holds, fear of losing someone, fear of messing with people's lives that they love and trying to help them see that you are not hurting them. You're doing you and their feelings about that are not for you to solve.
00:17:49
Speaker
Yeah, they've fixed it themselves. Yes. But there was an, I think two women are like, don't understand that there's a medium ground between asking for permission and just being a total bitch. Just be quiet. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you approached this and he was not, he or she was not supportive of you. Whether that's your husband, your mom, your best friend, it could be whoever. Um, when I told my mom what I was doing, she fake cried.
00:18:19
Speaker
She did a whole thing. Fake crying? I think it was fake. Really? It didn't sound real. Why would she cry about that? What was it? The word. It was undignified. Oh, showing your ass on stage was undignified? Yeah. I mean, okay, maybe. Yes and no. And the whole outfit was. And it's one of those things where you're like, it's the uniform of the sport.
00:18:45
Speaker
Okay, what I'm talking about for you is like, what are you talking about? Like the little tiny rhinestone bikini you were because I do bikini competitions in the NPC. And, you know, yeah, it's very off brand for me. I'm sort of a tomboy, not like in like a go outside and play the dirt halfway, but not super frilly. Did not do dance class. No, neither. I'm there with you. But
00:19:10
Speaker
I could see your mom being just in the truth. I could see her mind's up because of maybe her traditional views. Traditional views and how gross muscle is like that. The era she grew up in probably what, the sixties or something? Well, she was more in fifties. So yeah, sixties. Yeah. Where it was just so feminine to like be super skinny. Twiggy. Twiggy. That's the twiggy generation. The block, the one tiny cube of cheese and with your cigarette. Yes. With your white wine healthy.
00:19:39
Speaker
Have you seen those pictures online where it was like diet advice from 1950 something? It was like a coffee with a cigarette. Shambly. Whatever that is. Like you're worried. Shambly. I don't know what that is. It's like soap. I can't. Anyway. It's like, oh, they really hate us. It's okay to smoke though. But she was like, it's undignified. And what were your, what will your children think? And just trying to explain like, it's like, you know, like situational appropriatives.
00:20:06
Speaker
Do you understand that? Like how it's fine for me to be on a bathing suit on the leg, but weird at Walmart. Yeah. It's very situationally appropriate. And like I told her, just because you don't understand it or want to do that, does it make it wrong? Oh, mom and husband and best friend and kid, everything. This goes beyond like,
00:20:34
Speaker
just anything that you start doing good for yourself, whether it's like health and fitness, just anything that you're trying to do to better yourself, it will kind of honestly weed out people. Like it'll, you'll start pulling, I like to use a garden as like an example of your life. You pull the weeds, right? And so you can really see the true beauty of what you claim it. And when you're doing something for the better, as hard it is, or as deep as those weeds are, you'll start to pull them out and your eyes will be open to the friends or
00:21:04
Speaker
brother or mom or dad who are just like, nah, maybe I should spend less time with you. Right now. Yeah. I know. Everything you do is not permanent. Yeah. You don't have to, you don't have to be like, I'm cutting you out of my life to make like a big like announcement. Just do your own thing. Just chill out. You don't have to break up with people. You don't have to write letters. What you do have to do is what you know is right for yourself. If they want to lie,
00:21:32
Speaker
follow you around and lay down in front of you and throw fits along the way, just keep stepping over their bodies and doing your thing. Yeah. Okay. So action steps for people in that sorts of situations that they're having a hard time managing. The balance, we love that word, right? Um, the balance of their health and fitness and then family who may or may not be supportive, but just even if they're supportive family, it's still difficult. Right?
Time Management and Self-Care
00:22:00
Speaker
Listen more and talk less. So instead of constantly trying to rationalize and validate and make people feel what you're feeling, because they're coming from a place of defense anyway, right? Just listen to them. Just listen to their concerns. Listen to what they're scared of. And maybe they just need to talk it out. And once they say it, when you let people talk,
00:22:29
Speaker
And you just like listen to them. They feel bad. They work it out. Yeah. You know, and they're like, but I know you love us. And I know you would never do anything that would embarrass the thing. I know you. And then sometimes it just works itself out. And sometimes what they're scared of isn't what you thought. Oh yeah. And so then you can address the real cause. But what if they won't talk to you at all? Be okay with it.
00:22:58
Speaker
All right, less talking. Always the answer is shut up. All right, I'm saving the planet. Let's... What do you call it? Well, it's like carbonog. Yeah. That's carbon, right? Yeah. Bad joke. I like it.
00:23:20
Speaker
Anyway, so what are some things that you've advised for clients or even things that you've done for yourself to, even as flexible as you are with, I can't make it to the class, but I can do the walk. What are some ways that people can prioritize their time and how they can do that? Time blocking, that saved my butt. How do you explain that? Because I know Christine's really into that. It's literally, I use,
00:23:49
Speaker
hesitantly started using my phone calendar because guess what's always with me. Guess what's not always with me, my ultra cute designer day planner. It's very heavy and adorable. But it's literally, I start with when I wake up. And the night before, I go through and I use up every hour of my day. So your calendar looks crazy. It does, but it's also filled with read, eat.
00:24:19
Speaker
meditate. Like it's filled with everything and it's literally blocks of time. I'm going to between eight and 10, I'm going to do four check-ins and I'm going to program two workout blocks. And I like, if I know like my clients that check in on time, like it'll be like, easy peasy. These, I'm doing this for this person. And also in that calendar, what I will pop in now with time blocking is
00:24:47
Speaker
things I'll think about for my clients. Like check in and then a note of ask Caitlin, how are knees feeling? Cause you told me your knee was, you know, something like that. And like, I put that in here and I just look at it all the time and I have these, and it doesn't go perfect, right? Yeah. I was going to say, do you have like a buffer of like something in case somebody's throwing up at school and you got to go pick them up? No.
00:25:12
Speaker
but i just you know the corner they'll be fine i'll be there at the best you just roll with it you know what i mean yeah but i have a cleaning just like you know you're like you know this i'm like plan out your day in my fitness pal yeah that way if something goes bad or not bad even or you drop your lunch on the floor that's bad or you just decide you don't want to eat that lunch you want to go out with your friend yeah you can delete that
00:25:38
Speaker
and place it in and then guess what? Just like your day, you already have everything in there. So now you can look at the big picture and be like, delete this. Oh, I'm not programming this workout today. Someone's throwing up and you can start adjusting things. I see. But having that planned out because kids, your messy brain, your messy house, your messy works will use up every minute of your day. Could be unproductive or productive. When did you start doing that?
00:26:04
Speaker
when I started working for the FFP and had to get my life together. How hard was it to get used to being in that habit? Very hard. It felt so much more restrictive even than for me and the food. And it's like, it's the same thing with like for me logging your food. It's not a prison. It is freedom because now I get everything that I want to do done and I feel peaceful. What's that guy's name? Um, his, his famous quote is discipline equals freedom.
00:26:33
Speaker
That's it. I'm not going to be talking about Jaco Willink. We're probably saying that so wrong. Something with the W. But it is. Yeah. And it feels very like it is very. So how long did it take for you to get into like that as like your everyday habit, like easy? Well, I mean, when I started doing, I started doing it every day.
00:27:02
Speaker
And what was my resistance was putting it on my phone. Oh, you were putting it in your little book or just using my brain? No, no, this brain don't, you can't use it for stuff. I hear that. You can't use it as like a tool that you can depend on. So I feel like that, yeah, that's very helpful. Cause I've thought about it and it does feel like a little bit of a prison. Oh, but what if I just want to take a nap? Well, wait.
00:27:32
Speaker
even though I don't take maps. I can still take one if I wanted to. You can put it in there's like blocks of like, you know, read a book or something. Like I know that I don't need to sit and do check-ins for four hours. Cause that last check-in is going to be so not as good as the first check-in. Like I have to do four check-ins and then I have to walk away and go do something else for a block of time.
00:28:00
Speaker
even 30 minutes. When I'm switching tasks, I'm just like, I gotta like, I can't just switch, like work on the FFP stuff. And then my other job, like I had to take a break, like watch like an episode of something or walk or clean a dish, something, something good. Yeah. And then go back to it. And then I feel fresh brain. And I need to be fresh brain for what I do. Yeah. Don't we all? Yeah. All right. So what else? What?
00:28:32
Speaker
About down-flucking? Well, no. As far as what else can be helpful in implementing in our lives as you mothers. Oh, this one. This is this. And I'll say this and people will be like, okay. But it's for real. Prioritize and do your stuff. Fix your food. Get your day cleaned out. Your clothes.
00:28:58
Speaker
your schedule, your workout times first, and piece your family's crap in around that. Okay. Yeah. That's it. And people will be like, no, I'm gonna cook my, and then I'll just eat whatever. No, no, no, no. You get your food done. Cause you gonna feed them damn kids. It's true. You know, like it's like, but it's the truth. You're gonna feed them. It's like instinctual. Yeah. Nobody's going down on mama's watch. Right. Except for mama.
00:29:28
Speaker
That is such a good perspective because it's like they'll get fed. They will get done. They'll get to practice. You'll pick them up. You will. You're going to show up. They're going to get got from school. Trust yourself is really. And it's just like what will fall underneath unless it is like specifically scheduled and prepared for is your stuff. You will
00:29:50
Speaker
not eat for six hours and then become starving and eat. Everybody's leftovers, right? And have no idea how to track it. Feel like a failure. Feel like crap. But what if you had all your stuff ready? What if you didn't fix their food first? They're still going to eat. They're going to get fed. And now so will you. Yeah. Has that been a big challenge for some of your clients? Putting themselves first?
00:30:16
Speaker
Yeah, like the biggest and it's like they'll say yes. Yes. But then the action of that for a long time feels very abrasive mentally. Do you have an example of someone who like clicked for them? Yeah. So one of like a great kind of has two small children. I'm talking about two kids that are both toddlers.
00:30:46
Speaker
And a husband. And a husband and a business owner. Oh. Like owns business has like employees and everything. So not only was she putting her kids ahead of herself, she was putting all of her employees needs and just like constantly putting out fires. Yeah. Right.
Personal Empowerment and Decision Making
00:31:03
Speaker
And it was a deal of stop telling yourself you're going to go to the gym at 5am if you have a kid coming into your bed every single night, keeping you up, kicking you in the face. Okay.
00:31:16
Speaker
and just working with her. And that's how we work with our clients, right? It's like sitting down, like you're a business owner, so what's the good and the bad of that? You're the boss. The bad is you're the boss. That's great. So every second of your time will be taken up by the congo line of employees needing your time of intention, right? That's a good way to put it, yeah. Get out of the building in the middle of the day. Go to the gym. Take care of yourself.
00:31:45
Speaker
And then when you come back, you're going to be so much better and more like able and like mentally stable to answer all these questions. Get it out of your head that you have to be completely ready for work and you can't go to the gym back. Yeah, you can. How long did it take for her to like kind of get it to click months? Well, and it's a lot of people will do it and then fall back into old habits and be like, why did I do this? Do it again.
00:32:11
Speaker
a bit longer and then fall back and just so on and so forth and that's why I like being flexible about workouts because especially with kids the one thing you can be sure about them especially when they're little is that they will change. Yeah this is what time they go in and this is what time they wake up and then randomly they're getting up in the middle of a night again.
00:32:33
Speaker
or they start getting up at 4.30 a.m. No, thank you. Yeah, but that's just what they do. And so being able to be like, okay, this is just what kids are insane. This is just what they're doing now. Now I work out at lunchtime. And I'm gonna roll with that until things stabilize again. And just being able to not feel so frustrated and defeated every time something like that pops up and just being able to be like,
00:33:03
Speaker
Now this has changed. So what do I need to change? Right. So what was it for that client example? I guess was, so she would do it and it'd be great and then fall back. So was there like a point where she realized like, what was the light bulb where it just automatically stuck? I made her start schedule, not make her. Putting a gun in her head. I asked her vehemently to schedule
00:33:33
Speaker
Her workouts, the exact same way as she would a client appointment. Put it on your calendar. Lock it out. This is as important as your kid's doctor's visit. This is as important as a client visit. This is part of what is keeping you alive. So reframing it, if you will, in a way that this is just like your work. Yeah. And that, oh, I see how that would work. Just making it sound like, hey, this is
00:34:02
Speaker
Not, I'm gonna work out today around lunchtime. No. What time are you working out? I'm leaving. Stop doing that. Well, I'm at home by myself all the time. And so it's like, did you see my behind the scenes when I did that? Yes. Yeah. I was like, I think I'll work out today. Yeah, I'm not sure. I probably will. And then the next video of me is like, no, I decided to do that. I had a lot of small head shakes watching your video.
00:34:32
Speaker
I was like, but I still did it. Yeah, you did it. I think you didn't do it behind the scenes the next day if it worked out or not. You can see like my thing and that's why I wanted it. It would be so good though. What? If you went ahead and tightened up on that and had like a really good habit of squawking time before you, what if you do decide to get married to have kids? Well, then I'll change.
00:35:04
Speaker
It could be easy though. Yeah. I'm not saying it would be hard. Oh, it would be if you just, if you were, yeah, you're used to looking for Levita loca. I'm not saying it wouldn't be an adjustment, but no, it would be, but I'm saying this right now, if you were right now, like you were like, okay, I time block and these are, these are my workout days. These are when I do my cardio and you started
00:35:30
Speaker
just just doing it. Like, and that's, and that's the weird part is like, you could totally be like, I'm not gonna get up early to do my cardio, but you did.
00:35:39
Speaker
Well, you know what I did just start just doing? What? Was waking up earlier. I know. Aren't you so proud of me? I am proud of you. Because that, like, yeah, the rest of my day might not be, like, super planned out, but just waking up allowed me to have that, well, yeah, I'll go right now or I'll go after this thing because I have more time in my day and it's not, like, trying to cram it. Literally the only way to make more time in your day is to get up earlier. I know, I hate it, but it works. It works so well. And once you have kids too and, like,
00:36:09
Speaker
I just had to stop doing my first like dip, toe dip into the pond of get up early was I was getting up at the same time as my kids need to get up from school. And so again, I'm allowing no time for me to wake up. I'm allowing no time for anything to go awry, for no one to lose a shoe, not know where they put their homework, can't find their school shirt, like no time.
00:36:39
Speaker
I got so sick of being a screaming animal mom. You know, having kids walk out the door crying. There's not a worse feeling than your baby leaving sad. Because, you know, I was like, damn kids, they can't get their lives together. And then there was just a moment where I was like, is it me? Surely not.
00:37:04
Speaker
Surely to the Lord, it could be me. I'm the mom. I am the boss, the father of this. And I was like, yeah, you are. You're not doing that good. You had to come to Jesus' moment with yourself. I did. And when you hurt your kids inadvertently, but you were doing it, that is never going to settle well with me. So I could see that being a light bulb moment for a lot of people. This is not serving my children either, so it's time to change. Yes.
00:37:34
Speaker
It's hurt, sorry, my hair got a big tangle. Anyway. Yeah, so what else? What's your sage advice for women who are having struggling, we kind of talked about with how to gain the support of like your family and your spouse, I guess. What else did you do around that with, I guess, Matt? He seemed to,
00:38:03
Speaker
be on board. Yeah. And I don't, I also like, I understand that my husband is extra awesome. Like he's just a, he's just a very nice person and he likes me. And so he's more willing to ride with whatever like clown car I'm pulling up in. And I appreciated that about him, but also, you know, like I talked about family members that are not in, um,
00:38:33
Speaker
I think again, it's like getting older thing too, but like I have no problems with someone not liking something I'm doing. Like none. And even if I did, if it did, if Matt did all of a sudden decide that he didn't like what I would do, I would hate it and I would do it anyway. I think that's really difficult. Like I mentioned before for women who have a hard time standing up for themselves, taking initiative and um,
00:39:00
Speaker
doing that. Like that's a process and you can't just like, we're both very strong women, like very outspoken. Yeah. So it's like, this is my opinion. Go about your way, please. Yeah. But not everybody's like that. So you can learn from us. No, I'm just kidding. Well, no. Well, you can, you can not talk about it at all. You can go about your goals very quietly. Yeah, you can. You don't have to talk about them in every family function.
00:39:28
Speaker
I think that flexible dieting and that stuff is very user friendly for exactly those kinds of situations. You don't have to not eat carbs or rice or potatoes or even dessert. You can just quietly manage your intake without anybody's permission. You are a grown woman. Then not even noticing. You could go to the Thanksgiving and nobody realizing that
00:39:51
Speaker
You're prioritizing. Exactly. And you're still eating the. I don't make announcements, you know, and I have talked to clients about that when they're like, well, all my friends were trying to push this on me. I'm like, just answer me one question. Were you at the table, cropping and whining? Were you? Were you like, oh, I wish I could drink six. Oh, God, I don't need anything to have more. I was like, were you?
00:40:19
Speaker
where you grab it and want it because what people that love you want to do is help solve your problem. They're like, here, have a bite. Yeah, no, you can have it. One bite won't hurt anything. I was like, just, were you doing that? Because if you, those are the people that like you, they want to help you feel better. So if you were being sad girl, they're trying to make you happy girl and solve your problem. Stop presenting as a problem. It's your solution. Dropping the wisdom. Don't be a crag girl.
00:40:48
Speaker
cry girl and I'm like, try to be me if I were to do that. Well, yeah, don't be a cry girl. My daughter calls it a pick me. That's a new term. A pit? A pick me. A pick me. Like a girl that's like, oh, I can't have that cupcake. Just so somebody will be like, yes, you can. You look great. That is annoying. That's so funny. That's such a great little term. I love it. I'm going to use that. Those people are quite annoying. So have the internal dialogue to yourself because I do that where I'll be watching
00:41:17
Speaker
I don't want that so bad. But I'm not like actually using those words. I'm just like, oh, that looks good. That's amazing. Yeah. I'll just get this. And it does like, when you do that, you are inviting people to try to influence you the other way because you said you weren't happy, basically. You said, I'm not happy doing this. And they're like, well, then you shouldn't do it because I love you and I want you to be happy. Yeah. And you're not representing us very well.
00:41:46
Speaker
So stop it. Understand it. And this is why I always am so adamant about pick a program that works for you. It will be uncomfortable, but you should still be able to live your life. Like, yes, there will be changes. As far as food and drinks, you're not going to be able to do the same things that you used to do to get results that you have never gotten, obviously. But you can still have the things, but understand that the amount and frequency
00:42:16
Speaker
will change. Yeah. And that's a good thing. You're asking for change. This is what it looks like. Suck it up buttercup. It's what it is. You heard it here first folks. Well I think that sounds great.
00:42:41
Speaker
Yeah, great advice, Lindsay. I think that will just ring true to everybody. Just suck it up. Suck it up. I'm here for you. Let me know what you need. Honestly, it's kind of like what you said in whatever last episode we did where you just kind of tired of your own shit. Yep. And I've been there. We've all been there. We're just like, why am I doing this? I really don't want to. It's socially acceptable at the moment or whatever. You're just kind of sick of it. And then eventually it gets easier to be like, no, I don't want to.
00:43:10
Speaker
I don't want to drink or I don't want that. I don't want to participate in this thing that doesn't serve me very well. Yeah. And
Final Thoughts and Contact Information
00:43:17
Speaker
it gets to that like, what do I want? This is what I want. Okay. And that's not selfish. It sounds selfish because you're saying I mean, but that's not selfish. And I've never understood that when people were like, oh, well you just want your own way.
00:43:32
Speaker
Who's way am I supposed to want, fool? Yours? That's your job. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm gonna want, yeah, I do want my way. Shocker. Thank you, bye. What's that? Is that a game sign? A what? Oh. Edit that out.
00:44:06
Speaker
Thanks for joining us today. Come back next week. Listen and subscribe. Do all the things. We had such a great chit chat today. And there's going to be more of this coming for those of you who are moms, have a family, all that stuff. This is just the beginning, y'all. I sound like you. Yay. All right. Until next time, bye.
00:44:37
Speaker
Thanks for listening to the FFP Alignment Podcast. Please support us by downloading, rating, and recommending us to your friends and family. Be sure to check us out on Instagram at TheFitFemProject. That's F-I-T-F-E-M-M-E Project. And for those of you looking to find their central balance of lifestyle and fitness, book a free consult by going to TheFitFemProject.com.
00:45:00
Speaker
That's F-I-T-F-E-M-M-E, project.com and click apply now. Until next time, this is the Fitment Project alignment podcast.