Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
EP. 25 Better Watch Out
149 Plays1 year ago
Nick & Gerald review the Christmas themed slasher Better Watch Out.
Follow us on Instagram!
Our new Tik Tok page is live now!
Email the pod at 2guys1screenpod@gmail.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Christmas Horror Month
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 25. We are 25 episodes into this podcast. Two guys, one screen. My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. And today ah is the beginning of our Christmas Horror Month because we just can't seem to beat the we're not a horror podcast allegations. Right.
Release Year Confusion: 'Better Watch Out'
00:00:21
Speaker
ah I don't know what I've seen conflicting years, 2016, 2017, better watch out.
00:00:30
Speaker
Watch it. Which I had never seen up until today. Google now says 2016, Letterboxd is 2017. You tell me. Amazon, by the way, where I rented this movie, said it is an international horror movie.
Nick's Initial Reaction to the Film
00:00:49
Speaker
Is that true? That's why I was asking you. You've seen this before, I haven't. This is my second time seeing it. Yummy!
00:00:59
Speaker
ah yeah i know i mean ah Yeah, so my first time watching it was last night and we are You're in for a fucking ride when you watch this movie dude, that's all I can say this movie kind of Goes everywhere. I'm still trying to kind of process what I watched. I'll be honest with you but Really? Yeah, there's a lot. I there's a lot. I like and a lot. I don't like I'm kind of there But, uh, we'll do a little plug me.
Podcast Social Media Promotion
00:01:32
Speaker
So follow us on, you say, fuck me.
00:01:36
Speaker
no as i said plug me Oh, so follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail dot.com. Follow us on letter boxed and follow us on Tik TOK. The links will be in the description.
00:01:56
Speaker
TikTok clips are cooking, dude. Big cook. um We're back. We're not banned anymore, I guess. Thank you, TikTok. We appreciate it.
Describing the Opening Scene
00:02:06
Speaker
So better watch out. We're going to give you a scene by scene review of this movie. ah And therefore, spoil the fuck out of it. So maybe you should go watch it first, Jake.
00:02:19
Speaker
um
00:02:21
Speaker
Here's your cast. ah Why is the director not here? Do you have the director?
00:02:27
Speaker
It's like something cuck-holed or something. It's like something cuck-holed. Yeah, dude.
00:02:35
Speaker
ah ah Oh, it's Chris Peckover. Chris Peck, my cock. Right. um So that's your director. Here is the cast of the movie. Olivia Dejour. I don't know. She plays Ashley.
00:02:56
Speaker
I don't make the rules ah Levi Miller plays Luke and oxen bull plays Garrett Virginia Madsen plays Deandra Lerner who we just found out is from candy, man Probably the biggest actor on this list Patrick Warburton. Sorry bigger than the rest of you fuckers. It's true Legendary iconic actor. ah He plays Robert Lerner. You got sorry for me pronouncing your name Dacri Montgomery plays Jeremy and and Alex Mikic plays Ricky And that's really is it's a pretty self-contained movie You don't see much outside of once they settle into the house is kind of it.
Nick's Discovery of the Film
00:03:39
Speaker
Yeah ah What do you what was your first time watch this movie? Do you remember like seeing this? How'd you come across it? um I basically watched like a top 10 like Christmas horror movies list on YouTube like back in the day you did and
00:03:55
Speaker
YouTube and then ah I found this at an FYE with you shout out to FYE shout out them how they went down the drain ah at the I think I could say this at the think I could say that I'm just new birds of rutrow. Oh, yeah, big rutrow for that one. Yeah, you can say that. um So I bought it there on Blu-ray. It's got a nice lenticular. It's not really lenticular, but when you go like this... Lenticular? Not really, but when you go like this, it like shines different colors because like the Christmas lights and all that. Is this like a scream or a just a regular out release? Just a regular elderly release. Elderly release.
00:04:43
Speaker
ah So that's like so I basically blind bought it like I do most things and I was pleasantly surprised when I watched it and I was like I think Nick would really like this movie Yeah, I mean I enjoyed it no doubt I'm not sure on my rating still um I honestly don't know yet. I may be talking with you about it will Enlighten me. Okay But
Babysitting Setup and Luke's Intentions
00:05:08
Speaker
here we go. We're in better watch out ah The film opens and the credits roll, and it's basically just kids being kids in the winter time. You see this one douchebag smash a snowman with a bat. I'm a dick. A girl being pushed or pulled in a sled, some kids making snow angels. There's shoveling, all the winter activities. ah And we cut to Ashley, our main character, who is driving. And I assume she's talking to her mother on the phone.
00:05:44
Speaker
That's what it sounds like. And we find out here she's going to the learner's house to babysit. And for some reason her mom suspects that it's all a lie for her to go see her boyfriend, Ricky. Shout out, Ricky. <unk>ki And she almost runs over a ah black cat. And then you see a black car pull out what was the point of the this black SUV following her the cat was we know who that where the cat was from but the car I don't know the car had no fucking meaning at all like that never comes back into play um we cut to Garrett and ah Luke and they're in Luke's bedroom Garrett's like Luke's friend who doesn't really have a life ah his parents aren't around so he's just kind of like a latchkey kid he's like a stoner
00:06:43
Speaker
a Little bit too young to like already be a stoner, but he basically is he's wearing weed socks. I mean, come on. He's gay yeah i don't know whoa that's too much um And playing some video game and Luke or Lucas whatever you want to call him is looking up how to arouse a woman Because that's what you need to know when you're 12 years old. They're 12. Just want to say that isn't a little young I Mm-hmm so He wants his babysitter, who is Ashley, ah who is a P.E.E. and ah the problem is they're five years apart, but Luke doesn't think that's an issue. So he's like, he's like 12. So she's like, what, 17 of legal tender. It's like right at that edge where it's legal.
00:07:37
Speaker
Uh, ah
00:07:41
Speaker
And they're having some conversation talking shit to each other. And Garrett's about to be like, I hope you clap some ass. And Luke's mom walks in, and he's like, as assistance.
00:07:57
Speaker
We cut to Patrick Warburton's character. I already forgot his name, but the dad. And he's looking at the Christmas tree with, like, I don't know. He's like despising it, but he like looks upset or like suspicious. um And he goes over to his wife.
00:08:18
Speaker
And I guess they're playing they like Christmas people playing in the background. And the wife is like, Robert, turn that shit off. She's a bit of a Scrooge. And he wants to hang up his ornaments, which I don't know if he made these himself. But like they're not like, it's not a Lennox. It's not a fucking, you know what I mean? Nothing special.
00:08:36
Speaker
ah And he's like sad that they're not hung up. And this part really got me good. ah The wife asks if he's positive that he's never sucked a man's cock in his life. That shit was so funny. I didn't see it coming at all.
00:08:54
Speaker
like Like it's like the opening five minutes you're just like trying to figure out the tone of this movie. And then the wife hits you at that line. I was, I paused the movie, I was laughing so hard. Yeah, it really gets you good. Oh, that was so funny. Especially to say to Patrick Warburton who kind of looks a little, little so epi a little suss. It's so funny. Well, yeah. Cause he's like holding up like one of the ornaments is like, he was like, read the red heels from Wizard of Oz. Yeah. He's like, I'm so gay, dude.
00:09:24
Speaker
ah We caught back upstairs and ah Garrett finds the they call it the fetus machine. I've never heard of this.
00:09:35
Speaker
Yeah, it's like essentially, I'm pretty sure it's like a white noise maker, but it makes the noise of like a heartbeat, which is super gay. I mean, right like being honest, it's super duper gay. It's supposed to help kids like think they're still in the womb when they're sleeping or something. And turns out Luke still sleeps with it at night, so that's a little gay. Ashley arrives, and ah the dad is like, you look stunning. Hey, she's 17.
00:10:04
Speaker
Yeah, like his the dad's already trying to fucking get it with this babysitter That's the problem with this movie is everyone's trying to fuck her and she's like 17. It's like can we just take a breather guys, right? Let's We find out here that she's moving to Pittsburgh and that's why And her you know her relationship with her boyfriend Ricky's a little weird because uh she's been trying to she's moving to pittsburgh and you know are they
Mysterious Events Begin
00:10:33
Speaker
gonna do the long distance thing are they not ricky just be honest dude she's gonna move to pittsburgh or fuck a black guy that's what's gonna happen so why are we even bothering is that what happens when you go to pittsburgh she's our fucking black guys i don't know i just feel like that's what's gonna happen it could be any guy is she gonna get rufflesburgered
00:11:03
Speaker
I was trying to think of something. I don't have anything. oh So she arrives, the dad's trying to hit, and the parents send Luke to go take the trash out. And the mother, DeAndre, what a weird name for a woman, by the way. Very strange. ah Helen. No. DeAndre tells Ashley that Lucas has been sleepwalking.
00:11:25
Speaker
um But she like stops mid conversation and they find Garrett in the medicine cabinet the fuck you doing the medicine cabinet like Get out of there. Yeah, get I mean we find out later, but it's not your fucking house um and it is The mom developed this thing that if you leave the ah pencil on the doorknob You'll know if he's been sleepwalking or not Which is important for later in the film. Right. ah I've already shared my sleepwalking story, so I don't need to divulge anything else here. Go listen to Hereditary if you haven't already. You should have put a pencil on your door. Put my dick in the door.
00:12:09
Speaker
ah And then she says here, what he doesn't know can't hurt him, meaning he doesn't know that he sleepwalks. Like she hasn't told them, I guess. That's something you should probably tell him. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I think if my parents didn't tell me, I'd be better off. Well, probably, but I probably would have told you. Yeah, you're probably right. They tried to murder me last night. Right. Go listen to the hereditary episode.
00:12:34
Speaker
ah The parents leave and Luke is ready to fucking hang and she's like, I gotta go make a phone call. Sorry. Uh, and again, we, as I said before, her relationship is like moving too fast with Ricky and she wants to move or she doesn't want to move. She's moving. So that changes things. Uh, and they show this a couple of times of like Luke, like listening in and then like make a point to show him. It's like, obviously he's fucking listening. Right. And we forgot to mention that when, uh, Luke's parents leave, Gary also leaves.
00:13:04
Speaker
see I didn't see that the whole time I was like where the fuck is Gary I guess he left oh yeah he left with the parents okay so that's so we'll get to that but Garrett leaves they also had a conversation I believe before like in the bedroom about a pain can from home alone oh yeah ah Luke was saying that like in the scene where Macaulay Culkin like throws the paint can at Marv. He's like, oh, he wouldn't like just be knocked back. He'd fucking die. His head would explode. They were like debating that. Yeah.
00:13:37
Speaker
Oh, and I think she's like, if you really want to like, risk it, you can come over like later later, but I don't think she meant it. Uh, then while she's on the phone, she freaks out over a spider and Luke, uh, captures it and he doesn't kill it. And she's like, why don't you just fucking kill it? To be fair, that's a big ass spider. Yeah, it is a big ass spider, but we know why later why he didn't kill it. True. Um, we cut to Ashley doing laundry for them. Like what the fuck? You're a babysitter. Right. Have Luke do it.
00:14:08
Speaker
um And then there's like a weird thing where like she's like she's looking for Luke for like a while and then just kind of gives up and Goes and puts on a horror movie And while she's sitting there watching it Luke pops a champagne bottle and it's like a jump-scare kind of um And she's like you shouldn't be drinking and he just keeps drinking in front of her Then they noticed the back door or she notices the back door was left open Which we know wasn't left open because when Luke brought the spider outside he closed the door um
00:14:40
Speaker
And it's in the swing outside is also moving they have a little swing on there look real poor man's swing I'll be honest. Yeah, what the fuck is that like get a tire or something? Tires even more poor I feel like really show swing these on swing set well swing say yeah I mean they got a big-ass house get a swing set get a fucking swings that you poor fucks I
00:15:05
Speaker
And then they're standing like in the kitchen and she's like, you know I won't say anything if you don't. And they agree to like share the champagne or whatever. um And the whole time, she's like, I'm not going to be impressed that you can drink. like this This isn't
Building Suspense with Mysterious Occurrences
00:15:19
Speaker
like a flex. Right. And Luke like goes to make a move. And she walks away and to order pizza. And Luke's like, no mushrooms. I don't like mushrooms.
00:15:29
Speaker
Um, the phone rings, but he's trying to give her the mushroom. There's mushroom head. Yeah. Uh. Do you think he's like do you think he's prepubescent still I do you think he has dick hairs or do you think he's I? Don't know cuz his voice is like all over the place like it's kind of cracky kind of like fucked up So I think he's like just maybe starting. I don't think he's got hair on his dick Do you think it's like ah Nick Kroll's character in Big Mouth when his first two pubes show up? Remember that and you like yeah potentially So they're sitting there watching a horror movie
00:16:03
Speaker
Uh, and Luke out of the blue, he's like, why'd you date Ricky? Like he's such a jerk. And also you dated Jeremy and he was a jerk too. It's like, why? Uh, it's kind of out of pocket. I'll be honest. Yeah. Like none of your business. Who is fucking he he's 12. Right. i mean Um, sorry.
00:16:25
Speaker
got me Um,
00:16:29
Speaker
And she's kind of like taken back. She's like, what the like, dude, you got to drop this. You have relax. um And then like he's like trying to like cuddle with her. And she tells Luke if they were the same age, she'd date him, which is crazy. Don't be telling people that. That's like the worst thing you could have told this fucking kid. And then she freaks out because she forgot to order the pizza, which literally was like a conversation for five minutes ago only. Right. Like just fucking as soon as the conversation is done, just pick up the phone. Yeah.
00:17:00
Speaker
Uh, then the doorbell rings and it's the pizza guy and they didn't order it. So what the fuck's the pizza guy doing here? oops Man insists, we don't see the guy outside. We just kind of see a pizza box, but he goes, he insists that someone ordered it. Uh, and then he's like, he's like, you have a pleasant night now. Like made it a point to like tell Ashley that and it's like, okay, dude.
00:17:26
Speaker
um She goes to close the door and this little plastic Santa light up fucking thing like pops up a couple times. um
00:17:39
Speaker
And it's like a jump scare, I guess. Ooh, scary Santa light. Yeah. ah She walks over into like the dining room or wherever and Lucas set up the table like with like candles and like romantic fucking whatever. a Nice romantic ambiance.
00:17:57
Speaker
um And the pizza has mushrooms on it So cuz Luke was like, oh, maybe my dad ordered it Well, if your dad's any of a fucking father, he would know that he doesn't like mushrooms. Yeah, or maybe he's like the Or Pittsburgh or Pittsburgh they don't we don't know just dick you down in Pittsburgh and then they're sitting the couch and
00:18:29
Speaker
I wrote Ricky, but it's Luke. He puts his hand on her thigh, which is crazy. and This shit has this has so much confidence that he's going to raise this girl up. He's bricked. He's probably bricked this whole fucking time. his Well, that happens later in the movie. It's true. It does. but um But I agree with you. He's definitely getting blue balled. And if you want to hear more about blue balls, go listen to our episode on Strange Darling.
00:18:54
Speaker
episode five so He yeah, he's fucking groping her like she takes his hand off and he like has his like head on her shoulder It's a little strange a little strange. She's let him do this, but um Ricky calls and she sees his name on the caller ID and turns the phone over and Looks like oh, yeah, I'm in now fuck But but ah she caught he calls again and she takes it
00:19:24
Speaker
And he's kind of managed to take their call. She comes back and the horror movie's on. And she, whatever scene is on, she can't take it. She's like, I can't deal with this. And it's not like they're, yeah, but it's not like they're watching Terrify or Three. No, it looked like some generic slasher. Right.
00:19:40
Speaker
um
00:19:45
Speaker
And then there's like, so ah She grabs his hand because there's a jump scare and he like immediately tries to make out with her. Yeah, what the fuck is this guy's problem? Like this shit's so fucking grimy to me, dude. You're 12. You're right. Like diamond this kid's the definition of fucking cringe. She wants a real man. All right? Right. You're a boy, Pinocchio. You're literally a child. Like you're still in middle school, dude. Like, no i'm like what?
00:20:11
Speaker
um
00:20:14
Speaker
So she's like, that's really inappropriate.
00:20:18
Speaker
How's phone rings again? She answers it and the person on the phone this is very scream ask mm-hmm goes That's goes I can see you and She's like yeah, how many fingers am I holding up and she gives the finger out the window? No answer jump-scare Santa dolls back again didn't get me there the back door is open again and And then she asked ah Luke for her phone. He throws her phone in the fish tank Yeah, I wrote what the fuck Like he purposely Yeah, I mean obviously was on purpose but right in
Garrett's Alarming Return
00:21:00
Speaker
that moment. You're like is he Fucking stupid. Also, I didn't see I Didn't see get like the whole time. Like where' the what is Garrett doing like the whole time? I'm like, what is he doing? time but I didn't see him leave. Oh, okay. I Um, there's a knock at the door and they look through the peephole, there's nobody there. Another knock, no one's there again. And Luke's like, I got it. And he opens the door and says he knows Tae Kwon Do. Yeah, what the fuck's that gonna do if the guy's got a gun? That's the gayest shit I've ever heard. I know Tae Kwon Do! Why'd you say that an Asian accent for her? Did I? Yeah, you did. It was supposed to be like some pre-investing kid. That sounded like a fucking Vietnamese man. I know what Tae Kwon Do!
00:21:43
Speaker
Oh, why you think I've left my wife?
00:21:48
Speaker
um Oh, no ball hand, no ball hand. It's like a jump scare, I guess, of, like, Liu Kang tackled by somebody and it's Garrett.
00:22:01
Speaker
And they hear some glass shattering. And they go upstairs. And Ashley has a knife. And she's like, listen, if you hear me screaming, just call 911. And they don't really listen. They just kind of follow her up the stairs. And they find a brick thrown through the window that said, whoops, not yet. They find a brick thrown through the window.
00:22:22
Speaker
um like i'm already At this point, I'm already calling the cops. Like there's no. Well, she goes to call the cops. And the phone line is down. Yeah. And then there's no Wi-Fi either. And Ashley tells Garrett to like hack it. He's fucking 12. The fuck is he going to hack it? He's not fucking ironed me. He's not Tony Stark. Right. I'd be like, well, go go check the router first. Fucking Jarvis. like ah why yeah What are they going to do?
00:22:49
Speaker
ah
00:22:52
Speaker
Then they go looking for the security panel. And there isn't one because the house is old, he says, or Luke says. He's like, oh, we live in a nice neighborhood. We've never needed one. Yeah. That's not. I don't care what kind of neighborhood I live in. in thecur I mean, to be fair, they're not living in Newburgh. That's true. It's probably like white suburbia. Right. um If the opening credits are any inclination, I'd agree with that. Then she's like, let's just get in the car. And her tires are slashed.
00:23:21
Speaker
Uh, then Garrett comes down the stairs and she's like, what the fuck you doing, man? And he, she, he shows her the brick and it says, if you leave, you die on the brick. So they didn't see the first time spoopy. Um,
00:23:36
Speaker
Garrett's like, I'm out of here and he runs out the house and you see him get shot with something. Right. Like he just gets fucking used like season and go across the screen. You see him fall by some bushes and you just see his feet and you see like red on the snow. You like you fuck. I'm actually not in defeat at all. They don't bother me. I'm not into them, but they don't bother me. I'm not into them. I'm not out of them either. Right. Like I'm not. But I'd fuck the little crevice.
00:24:06
Speaker
Sure. No, I wouldn't. That's right. Nice and nice and tight, right? ah Then this part is like kind of ridiculous. She like tackles Luke to the floor and they're like laying on top of each other because these lights turn on in the front of the house like car lights almost. Yeah. Well, because she's probably thinking like people are going to start shooting through the windows or whatever. So she's like, yeah, but they're laying on top of each other and like he's definitely aroused. Mr. President, get down.
00:24:34
Speaker
Um, And her plan is they're going to run upstairs and lock themselves in the bathroom and yell for help. OK, what a great idea. Have fun, Ashley, you fuck. um Then Luke shares that his dad has a gun by his bed.
00:24:52
Speaker
um And then they see a figure standing outside the doors, they run up the stairs and they stop at the top of the stairs and there's someone already up there looking. So this is my thing. We know who was upstairs. We won't say who was upstairs. Already. But who was... What was the figure in the window? Did they like set up some kind of... ah yeah and Yeah, Luke pulls it out. It's a cardboard cutout. There's someone up upstairs is already looking. So they go to hide in the attic. ah And Luke really wants to go get his dad's gun. He's like insistent that he gets his dad's gun.
Prank Turns Violent
00:25:25
Speaker
Um, and he kind of like disappears for a minute and there's spiders crawling all over Ashley and she almost falls through the attic and he grabs her and he's like, I got you. And he like makes really intense eye contact. I really didn't like that. See, that's why I don't like those those addicts with the ladders. And my dad fell through that fucking kind of at addict. Right. Shout out to Father James. Very scary type of addicts. Dangerous, some might say.
00:25:51
Speaker
Then Luke kind of just, so the attic is in the same room as the laundry machine. Strange. Yeah, very strange setup to this house. Also the laundry machine, laundry room is upstairs. Why? Also very strange. Yes. Um, Luke leaves to go get his dad's gun and there's a jump scare because the laundry machine finished it and it's like a a, like it's done. And then, uh,
00:26:19
Speaker
All of a sudden Luke's back with the gun. They run into another room. I don't know what room this is, but it's like a bedroom or something, I guess. This guy, the dude, the gun shows up and they're like hiding behind the door and he opens the door, but they're behind the door so he doesn't see them and he leaves. ah Then they go to hide in the closet, which is where I lived most of my life, in the closet. How you doing? And they set off some kind of fucking toy. I don't know what the fuck this thing is. It's like a, yeah, I don't even fucking know. And then like, they're like,
00:26:49
Speaker
the guy comes back and they're like, she's like holding him and she's like rubbing his ears. Did you see that? Yeah. Really distracted. Like why are you rubbing his ears for? Like now you're just getting him more horned up. Like if he wasn't hard, he's definitely hard now. Right. You're blue balling this kid. Um, and she notices that, uh, this guy's face mask is the same face mask that Luke owns because she's known Luke since he was eight. Right.
00:27:15
Speaker
Also, there was a photograph earlier in the film of the family with the him wearing that mask. That was like 30 seconds, maybe. Looks like a balaclava. Oh, excuse me? What is that? It's like what those like ah like what the terrorists wear.
00:27:38
Speaker
I'm serious. Like ISIS? Yes. And how do you pronounce it? Balaclava. I've never heard of that. No. I promise. um I don't want to right now, I don't think. I don't think i mean that's something I need to have in my search history.
00:27:57
Speaker
a ah So she just comes out of the closet and she's like, hey. ah And it's fucking Garrett. I know it's you, take the mask off. The reveal is that they were going to try to scare her.
00:28:14
Speaker
So she would like Luke more. Be like, oh, I saved you. What the fuck? Dude, I mean, this is really isn't 12 year old ass shit, right? That's what she says. Well, like he was going to break the window intentionally. He did. That's what I mean. Like that's what I was your like. What a fucking right. So.
00:28:33
Speaker
ah
00:28:37
Speaker
She's like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? And he said they did it because she treats him like a child and he's not. But then she proceeds to say that she's like, this is some infant type shit. Like you're not proving anything. She called them a delusional infant that needs therapy. And then she goes to call Luke's parents. Uh, and he's like chasing after her and she turns back around. He snacks the shit out of her. Fucking Wallops her. And she tumbles down this like curved staircase and it cuts to a black screen.
00:29:09
Speaker
This is kind of where the movie picks up. Yeah. Did you, did you see the twist coming? Yeah. When you threw the phone in the in the fish tank, I was like, okay. Also the whole time was like, where's Garrett? What is Garrett doing? Oh, okay. Right. Cause you didn't see him leave. Yeah. Um, you wake up in Ashley's POV and she's duct taped to a chair or mouse taped. Uh, and you see Garrett riding a scooter. Uh,
00:29:39
Speaker
They're playing Mary fuck kill with with a princess peach. No, it was like the princess bubblegum from adventure time. Oh, well, they were talking about eating her pussy. I was something like that was something some some crazy that a pussy would be sticky and moist. Yeah. And bubblegum and then like taking bubblegum out of your pubes. I don't know. It was weird.
00:30:02
Speaker
Um, Luke's drinking a beer and he gave Garrett, uh, oxy. So he's like fucked up. He's like, this stuff is great. Luke sits in front of, uh, Ashley. He's going through a bag and he pulls out like her lipstick or a marker, whatever the fuck it is. And he drew a mouth on the duct tape over her mouth. And he's like, look, I'll take the duct tape off, but if you scream, I'm going to shoot you.
00:30:27
Speaker
ah So he pulls off the the the duct tape and she starts talking and he's like you don't talk until I tell you to this is some real fucking in-cell fucking Guys left in a basement type shit. I don't like this at all. It's like evil shit. I don't but he's 12, right? Like that's the problem like some pre-teen serial killer shit Like what what guy is writing this fucking like movie like the people who wrote this movie? not I mean like Chris Peckover. We all thought this as 12 year olds, but none of us acted on it. That's fucked up. Actually none of us, maybe not all of us thought about this, but you know what I mean. Yeah. We all have bad thoughts. We're not perfect. We don't act upon them. God's not real. Right. Um, so Luke kind of enjoys her like not talking cause like he's like in a power play basically.
00:31:23
Speaker
And he wants, she starts talking. She says she has a concussion and she needs to go to the hospital. And ah Luke says that if she plays truth or dare with him, he'll let her go and she wins. And if she loses, she'll have to drink what he calls his insurance policy.
00:31:41
Speaker
which is, we don't know what it is. It's like roofy, essentially. Yeah, she's he's gonna roof here, so she doesn't remember anything. Probably a rape or two. Yeah, what the? This movie. He's 12. That's what he's fucked, dude. Yeah. ah And also, I just wanna point out, like, he's so, through what happens through the rest of the movie, he is so sure of himself that nothing bad's gonna happen. And it fucking drives me crazy. Confidence level is through the fucking roof. Dude, I wish I had some of that confidence.
00:32:11
Speaker
um So they play truth or dare and obviously he asked Ashley truth or dare and she's not picking dare so he picks truth and She asked how many guys? Lucas Ashley how many guys be fucked and she says zero and he's like no way you were fucking Jeremy Like he knows yeah um and she was like no I broke up with Jeremy because he spread the rumor that we fucked and
00:32:40
Speaker
um And then it's ah Garrett Garrett's or a Luke's turn so Garrett asks Luke truth or dare and Garrett dares Luke to touch Ashley's tit and he just gropes her You don't see it. Thank God. And this is where He gets made fun of for having a boner That might be my new favorite button I'm not gonna lie to you it
Tensions Escalate with Ricky's Arrival
00:33:05
Speaker
it's very fitting for us um
00:33:09
Speaker
Garrett makes fun of his little fucking stinger and they start shoving each other. ah And again, Luke is very sure of himself that his parents aren't going to find out. ah Ashley does truth or dare with Luke? And she told, asked him if he told Garrett that he killed Garrett Hamster, whose name is LeBron.
00:33:33
Speaker
Hamster's name is LeBron. Hey, interesting. Maybe it was Brown. um And they get kind of mad Luke's like why would you lie to me? You're my best friend blah blah blah he killed the hamster It was an accident. It was dead before it exited the hole or whatever the fuck he said some bullshit ah And then Luke is like you can't and Garrett's like why don't you dare me to like make out with her or something? And Luke's like you can't touch her Yeah, she's all mine and Garrett's like you know what I'm leaving. This is bullshit. I thought I was gonna get some boob tonight So he goes to leave Ashley's tied up. He just goes to leave and
00:34:08
Speaker
And uh, Luke kind of follows him and ashes by herself and she grabs his flashlight and tries to flash sos to the neighbors next door I don't think it worked Well, we find out later in the film that they are away. Remember he tells her yeah, they' be they're in florida Uh with all the old people Getting covet or something Um, I don't know That was like we're co like the mecca of cove was like florida, right? I think so. Yeah, that's where it came in Luke figures out that she was using the flashlight and he's trying to force feed her. his His amazing plan is to force feed her booze until she passes out. And the parents will come home and find her like passed out from alcohol and like they're rid of her. Some plan you have there, dude. Dumbass. She breaks the bottle and the doorbell rings and she starts screaming for help. And it's Ricky. This is the part that pissed me off, bro. I could beat the shit out of a 12 year old.
00:35:05
Speaker
thousand percent especially this fuck kid I'll do you one better I could beat the shit out of two twelve-year-olds like he this kid's so fucking scrawny yeah I mean he looks like me when I was 12 a pussy yeah yeah a pussy you're right got not that you you know I was a pussy it's okay we can say yeah I was a pussy at 12 years old um
00:35:30
Speaker
So he won't let Ricky in, and he tells Ricky that she doesn't love him anymore. Like, I'm going to believe some 12-year-old told me my girlfriend doesn't love me anymore. Sure. Whatever you say. Yeah, but Ricky's smart. I'm not smart enough. He gets killed by a fucking 12-year-old. Yeah, but I mean, he's smart to because he's like, oh, well, can you at least give her these flowers? I'll like feed it through the door.
00:35:56
Speaker
So Luke's like fine, so he opens the door a little bit and then obviously Ricky just fucking pushes the door open. Little fucking kid. 17 or 18. Yeah. He looks like he's 20 something. Forces man, like you said, uh, and he, he's looking forward, but she you can't hear her because, uh, Luke has turned the music up. very loud It's like holiday music. And she throws herself back in the chair to like making noise. And, uh, Garrett tells me caught a big rat.
00:36:24
Speaker
ah And then Luke's like, yeah, she's having menstrual cramps. And diarrhea. yeah Well, Garrett is like, Garrett's like, yeah, and diarrhea. Meanwhile, Garrett's holding a fucking pistol behind his back the entire time. She grabs a piece of the shattered glass while she's on the floor in this chair and like kind of conceals it. Uh, Ricky goes upstairs with Luke and Luke like goes into some room while Ricky's walking down this hallway and he knocks him out with a baseball bat. Well, you think he's knocked out, but he's not.
00:36:54
Speaker
He's like what the fuck how fucking hard can Luke possibly swing this thing, right? Yeah Ricky just gets back up and he goes after him and they're like on the floor rolling around and he gets stabbed with a pencil I'm pretty sure Yeah, he stabs him in the the pencil that like his mom hides under the rug for when he's sleepwalking He takes it and stabs him in the cheek with it right in the cheek The face cheek not the ass cheek right garish shows up with a shotgun and makes ricky get on his knees pause uh and luke knocks him out with a baseball bat uh and now there's two of them sitting downstairs fucking ricky and ashley just taped to the chair uh and luke is kind of enjoying this but ricky's freaking the fuck out
00:37:44
Speaker
As he should, you know, I would do. Yeah, you know, I'm not really cool with any of this. No. There's a montage of them, like, because it looks like Ricky's dead, but he's not. He's only blood on the floor. They mop up all his blood. They're cleaning up all the mess.
00:37:59
Speaker
ah And then, rate you know, they're sitting there and Ricky's like, why did you ask? She's like, I told you not to come over. And Ricky's like, yeah, you did. um We find out here that Luke was the one that texted ah Ricky from her phone.
00:38:14
Speaker
And Garrett, again, is not cool with any of this. um And here, Luke holds a gun to Ashley's chest, and he's like, invite Jeremy over, or I'll shoot you. And she won't do it. And then Luke doesn't pull a trigger. So he's a pussy. Right. She knows he's not going to kill her. She's the one that he wants. Right. He tries to call Jeremy himself, and he goes, I'm calling for Ashley. He goes, there's no Ashley here. Bud just hangs up.
00:38:45
Speaker
And he calls again and he's able to convince, you know, this guy that to come over, Jeremy and Jeremy calls him the taint on clementry, whatever fucking treat it was. And when he has his back turned, Ashley's like starting to cut the duct tape off of her hands with the glass she concealed. She starts like bleeding. Right.
00:39:09
Speaker
um and Luke turns back around and Ricky says something on the tape and he's like, what the fuck do you say? And he's like holding a gun to him and he takes the tape off and Ricky's like, I already used the bathroom. He should start peeing. Just pisses himself. Fair play. Sure. um And then here, I thought it was serious, but thank God it was a joke. Luke decides he wants to watch them fuck. Yeah, I was like, whoa, you're swinging for the fences here, buddy.
00:39:40
Speaker
Um, and he's like, no, I'm just kidding. I'm not a sicko, but he kind of is. He definitely is. Well, he's like, I'm not a pervert. What the fuck you mean? Yeah, you are. Uh, and he still doesn't believe that she's a virgin. Uh, and then their conversation is like getting kind of tenuous and he smells Garrett smoking weed in the other room. Uh, and they kind of a fight and while they're fighting another room. Uh,
00:40:08
Speaker
They're like you watch Ashley kind of undo more of her tape and they grab Ricky's chair and drag it out into like the. The front of the house, like where the front door near the front door, right? And they try to make Ricky take a drag and he won't. And then they just force it in his mouth and the smoke comes out of the hole in his face. It was a little nice little gnarly. Yeah, good old gnarly right there. Nice word.
00:40:38
Speaker
um then Then Luke goes somewhere like downstairs or I don't know where the fucking way the basement I don't know, you know like in a storage closet or something And he comes back was wise down there. He's like he asked Ricky asked Gary like why are you doing this? And he's like cuz uh Luke's my best friend. Oh That's a good reason fucking 12 year olds. Just letting you know I wouldn't do this for you.
00:41:04
Speaker
I wouldn't, this would not be something that goes to my mind. I wouldn't do it for you either. Good. Um, so Luke comes back with the aforementioned paint can and some rope and they want to prove this thing. Myth buster style. He says, uh, and he swings the paint can from like the balcony above them and misses, but like Ricky's like freaking the fuck out. He's like, hurry up. Fucking Ashley, get over here.
00:41:32
Speaker
ah Ashley shows up with the gun and like the chair still kind of strapped to her arm um And she tells Luca Lucas to drop it so he drops the paint can which perfectly smashes Ricky's face in obliterates this man Yeah That's pretty fucked up. He just murdered somebody we find out here the gun isn't even loaded so she makes a break for and she runs outside and trips over some kind of trip wire I guess it is and Right. And we see here there they had set up a paintball gun. It's
Deadly Paint Can Experiment
00:42:05
Speaker
like when you push the trip wire, the paintball gun shoots a paintball. That's red. It looks like blood. There you go. Hence how Garrett got shot earlier. How you doing? ah So Garrett follows her out and they have like a little fight, but she is able to escape Garrett and hops the fence. And there are some carolers out in the distance she's running towards, but she gets whacked in the head.
00:42:30
Speaker
ah with the brick from earlier. And the one caroler just turns around like, oh, no big deal. but She falls over and it is like not in her eyesight, I guess. Right. I don't know that. Yeah, it sucks. So it goes to a black screen, it cuts back and the carolers are standing outside Luke's house and he's at the front door like listen to them sing ah and Ashley's inside. I believe she's tied up with ah Christmas light lights. Yeah. Yeah. And this is where you get the reveal of Ricky's face with the paint can stuck in it.
00:43:02
Speaker
um And Luke comes back inside he's talking to Ashley He's like trying to caress her face and she acts like she likes it so he gets closer and she kicks him in the nards And Garrett's still mad about LeBron in the fact that he's like getting dragged around about this And then we find out here that Luke has been faking asleep walking to I didn't get this like in some way cover for Garrett Yeah I didn't completely get this, but like, apparently he's lied for Garrett and done stuff to help him. And again, he's so sure of himself, they're not going to get caught. He keeps telling here we're not going to get caught.
00:43:41
Speaker
ah And here Luke ah pulls Ashley's phone out of the fish tank, which where do you throw it into a bag? It. Yeah, somehow he managed to like steal her phone earlier and like wrap it so it wouldn't get exposed to the water.
00:43:59
Speaker
I didn't get that either, but um he makes a fake post as Ashley, like on her account saying, you know, exes, I wish exes could just go away. And Jeremy's acting all crazy.
00:44:13
Speaker
um We cut to Jeremy, who's outside drinking a beer, like prepping himself to go talk to ah Ashley. And this guy is... Something else, man. By the way, we ah Lucas does tell Jeremy he's like coming through the back pause. Take the dirt road. Yeah, because the Red River is flowing. It is flowing blood. All right. Get it. Get it. Period. Got it. Good. All right. I got to get that as a sound bite. Oh, so they're outside and Jeremy's trying to get in.
00:44:51
Speaker
and uh luke disappears behind him he's like yeah just chill man sit on the on the the swing or poor swing jeremy's like no he just straight up like no um we cut back inside and garrett uh is listening to ashley because she's like i need you to get me out of here you know we can all fix this till it's not too late he's a bad friend he uses you And she touches his hand with her hand, which is like for a 12-year-old boner alert city. Right, obviously she's trying to get on Garrett's good side. Right. Back outside, Luke pitches to Jeremy that Ashley wants him to write her a note saying he's sorry. So he writes, dear Ashley, I'm sorry. And he's like, is that all you're going to write? And he's like, yeah. He's like, are you sure?
00:45:46
Speaker
He's like, all right, I'll write some more. So he starts writing more. This fucking idiot, Luke disappears. Yeah. And he's just not paying attention. And he like looks up. He's like, hey, man. Hey, kid. I'm done writing. Teacher, I finished.
00:46:03
Speaker
And there's like a Luke kind of is like behind him and puts a noose around his neck. Puts a noose around. Huh? A noose. Right? Yeah. OK. And there's like a weird... He's basically set up a pulley system where the rope goes over this tree branch that's attached to the lawnmower that he uses to pull the rope up to hang Ricky. Jeremy. Jeremy. Wrong douchebag. um Which is kind of ingenious, but... That's like some saw shit. Right, like this kid is like... He's 12! This is John Kramer.
00:46:43
Speaker
Right, this is young. This is a soft people Yeah, but I don't think have these guys done anything wrong no, no one's done anything wrong here except for Luke and Somewhat Garrett. Yeah. Fuck Gary's an idiot. He's an idiot So it looks like he hung himself with the suits. I know underneath this thing. I love you so much I'm sorry. I just hung himself in their backyard. A little smart. I Yeah, I guess.
00:47:16
Speaker
um Garrett is freeing Ashley, and he gets shot out of nowhere by, yeah like the like at the end of the Dark Knight Rises, he gets shot. Right. When Bane gets shot by Catwoman. And Luke shot him. And Luke is pissed. But Garrett's like, dude, I'm fucking bleeding. Yeah. Not even that he was freeing her. I just thought he was touching her. He's like, no fucking way, dude.
00:47:42
Speaker
um And he starts crying for helping Luke just puts him out shoots him in the head and has like a full-blown mental breakdown Like definitely not having it Then he goes and he sits next to Ashley and he's telling her some fucking weird anecdote about how his mother used to cuddle him and now she doesn't anymore and Like, bro, you're fucking 12.
Ashley’s Survival Instincts
00:48:09
Speaker
And she's like, I know why. And she closes her eyes and doesn't say anything. And she won't talk to him when he gets mad. And we watch him stab her in the throat. But you don't see Ashley. You just see this dude stab Ashley in the throat. Then there's a montage of him framing the entire house to look like it was a break in. Basically, it looks like Jeremy killed a Ricky with the paint can, went outside and hung himself.
00:48:37
Speaker
Right. Shout. Yeah, shock. How how actually got tied up? I don't know. But don't know. He didn't think about. Oh, because he put the first he put the knife in Jeremy's hand and he's like, no, he put the knife on the ground and then he gave him the shotgun. Or vice versa. One of the two. Right. I don't think either of them are going to kill her. But what I guess that was in his mind, that's how I was going to work. Right. um And then.
00:49:05
Speaker
he like gets into bed but forgets he forgets the uh what is it called the fetus machine oh well he also forgets the um pencil on the door which i don't think he accounted for because he's not able to put the pencil on the doorknob and like stay in the bedroom Right, dumbass. So he has to go outside on the roof and when he goes out on the roof, of his parents are pulling in. His mother is calling somebody a cunt. I don't know who.
00:49:37
Speaker
um And he's on the roof, and he knocks over. They have like the Santa Claus with the reindeer decoration on top of their roof, because they're that rich. But no, they they don't have enough money for a swing.
00:49:49
Speaker
um ah right ah And one ah one falls down, and they don't see it. And then he almost drops one, and he catches it before it falls like in front of his parents. He sneaks back into his bedroom. He lays down. You hear his mother yell, because she sees the carnage.
00:50:10
Speaker
um And she goes upstairs and she's like holding her son, which is what he wanted. I'm pretty sure he just wants my mommy's love fucking weirdo um And then officer yells ah That there's one that's still alive and you're like, ooh who could still be alive? um And it turns out it is Ashley Yeah, guys go ahead. The cop said that She got stabbed in the neck and then she used the duct tape and stuck it on her neck to stop the bleeding and smart fucking final girl move right there uh and on her way into the ambulance she flips off luke uh through the window and uh that's the end of the movie there is a post-credit scene of luke is asking his mother to go to the hospital to check on ashley um and then the movie ends and that is uh that's better watch out you better watch out
00:51:10
Speaker
That's what the title of the movie is based on. Don't cry. Well, if I was anybody in this movie, I think it's like a double entendre. It's like better watch out for like a fucking psycho murderer that you're babysitting. Right. Like you don't know. You know, like he's a fucking psychopath. I literally think it's like the origin story of like a serial killer. That's how it feels. Right. But how many 12 year olds are that unhinged? Not many.
00:51:38
Speaker
Some doesn't work for me because it feels very inselly. Like some guy that's never gotten puss in his life wrote this movie. You know what I mean? ah Right. Like he's just mad at the world. He hates women. Like it doesn't feel like it came from. Like he's under place. Yeah. Right. And like I get it. Like there's a lot of movies that are like that. Like I'm sure the people who wrote martyrs aren't great people.
00:52:08
Speaker
Sure. But this guy's like, it just feels so grimy and like sexualized. Right? Like the sexualization of women. Yeah. And it's it's just like like, I don't love that part of it. Right. However, I do feel like Lucas is like one of the most of all the characters that like there are out like villains to hate he's like for me probably in my top like 15 like I really fucking hate this kid like with all my I fucking hate him I think that's yeah well that's the point like no I know I'm saying that's a positive it's a pro right
00:52:45
Speaker
You fucking little Sex fiend like that's all it comes down. He's horny. That's what it boils down to 12, dude He's 12 and he's doing this in his confidence in his arrogance to give you this was like orphan like where you look like a kid But he's an adult. I'm like, all right, sure that would work. Yeah, but no, he's just a kid. Yeah So I'm not really sure where I'm out with a rating it's probably more than a two and a half. It's probably a three Maybe a three and a half That's what I, I'm going three and a half on this one. Like it's so like unhinged and like fucked up that I kind of like it. If that makes me a fucked up person. I don't like the in Sally thing.
00:53:32
Speaker
Yeah. Like he can't get pushed. So he's going to like hold a girl hostage. The problem is though, he doesn't even like try to fuck her. He just kills her. Right. Like at. It seemed like it's an in-cell angle, but then he doesn't kill her. But then it isn't fuckery. He just kills her. Right. Like if you're. I'm not even going to say that, but like. Say it. Like after everybody's dead, like at that end, like just rape her and then like. Get it over with, right? They're not going to show that though they'd never show that in a million years. They wouldn't even insinuate that he raped her. I know. I'm just saying like.
00:54:10
Speaker
If this movie had balls, it would go there. I mean, this movie has balls. If Lucas's balls had dropped, it would go there. Right. Like you can't even get it up. No, I'm sure he's I'm sure he's getting raging fucking boners at this point. Oh, he's probably getting off by like killing people and shit.
00:54:32
Speaker
What but what 12 year old can plan all this, right? Because like everything goes perfectly planned up until Ashley still alive. I don't think... No, I think his plan derails when Ashley breaks the bottle. Because he can't roofie her, right? That was his plan the whole time. And then he's... truck like then he I don't know if that was... I mean, he was he definitely had already planned to have Ricky there, right? Yeah. And he was planning to have Jeremy there. But he he was hoping Garrett would like help him the entire way.
00:55:10
Speaker
Yeah, but no one's gonna be down for that. No, Garrett's like, oh, we were supposed to just scare her. What the fuck is this? Now we're tying her up, like, fucking killing people. What's going on? But he's such a limp dick character. Like, he can't do the right thing. Right. Like, just call the cops. or i get one I get it. Like, if he didn't, there'd be no movie. But, like, you know what I mean. Right. But I guess, like, it's very Home Alone. It is. A direct, direct comparison to Home Alone.
00:55:36
Speaker
It's very scream. Yeah. um Yeah. So I'm probably giving a three, maybe a three and a half. i It really irks me the way this kid acted. That's a good idea. The actor did a great job acting. Yes. But the just the the the like perversion, twisted fucking like things like really kind of bothered me.
00:56:00
Speaker
Like fuck this kid like I fucking hate him right is good writing. It is like objective order, right? But there's probably people out there like that at 12, right? That's what's scary. dode That's right. That's what's scary It's just like oh Yeah, but the problem is I use the same Like funny games right like funny games is super fucked up. Mm-hmm, but I like Yeah, it's similar cuz all the violence is off-screen all the violence is off-screen in this movie Yeah, I think though funny games goes for Funny games funny games. Yeah has more thematic elements to it and also ah Does not have a happy ending No, like if he killed that girl, I'd be like sure it's funny games, but like funny games ends and you're just like, oh, there's no hope no rinse and repeat funny games are not funny and
00:56:58
Speaker
No, not at all. Also, they're foreign and foreigners historically make better horror films than us. 100% because they don't give a fuck. The sadness. I don't know why I said the sadness, but it's a great movie. This is a great movie. i think I've been thinking of that movie a lot. That's good.
00:57:14
Speaker
um
00:57:17
Speaker
So yeah, I guess I'm a little torn on what to what to rate it. I guess go follow me on letterbox and you'll see whenever I decide. But it's a positive rating. It's not a negative. It's a positive rating. If you find this physically, will you be picking it up? Under 10. Under 10? I think it's 17. I think 12 is like the highest I'd go. twelve have to be It has to be cool looking.
00:57:41
Speaker
Comes with a little collectible card on the inside. That's ah the other the other fucking trailer that happened during the Moana 2 trailer thing. Bad guys too. All sequels. It's going to rip though. I agree. I'm just saying. Yeah. Bad guys. is Great movie. Society's cooked. That's all I'm saying. DreamWorks killing it. Disney not. Cook. What has DreamWorks put out recently?
00:58:10
Speaker
Wild, wild robot. People are loving that. Oh, it's a Kung Fu Panda for the wild robot.
00:58:20
Speaker
Oh, Puss in Boots was good. the Last wish was good movie. I heard that one's really good, actually. It's on Netflix. I heard the first one's ass, though. I've watched it it's fine. It's not great. It's just fine. Is it still? Is it still Antonio Banderas? Yeah. Good.
00:58:39
Speaker
All right. um Next week. Christmas Horror Month continues with a movie that I will say right now, I watched it for the first time a few years back and I didn't like it. ah We'll see how it goes this time. ah Gremlins. That's crazy that you don't like Gremlins.
00:59:02
Speaker
It is what it is. We'll see. I mean, I was I was a different person back then. Yeah. The practical effects are going to you're going to be like, not my socks off, not knock your socks off. We're going to be like, yeah, puppets and shit. Um, yeah, we'll see how Gremlins goes. And, uh, where is the plug it in, plug it in. So follow us on Instagram. Two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
00:59:32
Speaker
Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to twoguysonescreenpod at gmail dot.com. Take that with you. If not mean, follow us on Letterboxd and follow us on TikTok. The links will be in the description.
00:59:51
Speaker
Yeah, do all that. Check out the clips. ah And be on the lookout later a couple of weeks. Towards the end of December, we will have a best of two guys, one screen episode. ah Feel free to write in your favorite moments.
01:00:07
Speaker
um tell your ah Yeah, tell us your favorite episode. Actually, while we're here, ah Next week so gremlins Anything before gremlins is Able to put in the in the best of two guys one screen app anything after that we're going to next year's So so ah this is actually your last week basically how to do it unless you find something in gremlins you like This is the last week to do it. So let us know Tell us we already have a bunch But maybe we're missing one. Yeah, I mean let us know
01:00:47
Speaker
And ah we will see you all next week. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.