Introduction and Listener Engagement
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 17 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast. My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. Hello there. And today you voted, you chose the episode of the people. We're a democracy, I guess. I guess so. I guess so. ah But we are men of the people. For sure. Are we men? I don't want to misgender you.
00:00:25
Speaker
Um, yeah, depending on the day. Okay. Uh, the descent from 2005. Uh, as we've mentioned on a bunch of these episodes, uh, this was a movie I've been begging Gerald to watch. And, uh, I thank all of you for, I guess, I guess the crowd was a little biased because I was posting heavily to vote for the descent. I feel like they were forced. I feel like I swung the vote a little bit.
00:00:54
Speaker
You didn't swing, you swung, right? Right, I said swung. Did I? I don't remember. I don't know. Yeah, that's a 2005 movie from from Neil Marshall, but we'll get into that. um But before that...
00:01:16
Speaker
So follow us on Instagram, Two Guys One Screen Pod, send any comments, concerns, requests to Two Guys One Screen Pod at gmail dot.com and follow us on Letterboxd. Our links are in the description. ah Yeah, give us a follow.
00:01:31
Speaker
um Gerald, I think you have a physical media pickup to share with us. I don't have anything. I do. I have ah two movies. I went to my local movie store.
Gerald's Movie Purchases and Jackie Chan Discussion
00:01:44
Speaker
They didn't really have much, but I got ah Dragon Ball Z Battle of Gods. Now you're not into anime, ah but it's a great, it's a great movie. How much you pay for it? Five bucks? 10. All right. I don't know what the market is for that site. Okay. Yeah. um And then I got a Blu-ray of a movie called First Strike.
00:02:15
Speaker
starring Jackie Chan. OK. I OK. I never heard of this movie before. ah But on the cover, it says like this is his first American movie. So that got me intrigued.
00:02:34
Speaker
It was only five bucks for Jackie. You know, it's funny is there's a police story for called First Strike. Really? Is it possible you got that?
00:02:47
Speaker
It's that. Oh, so you got police story four.
00:02:53
Speaker
ra Bro, but look at you see that cover. It looks like a, it looks like a tone movie. Yeah. A hundred percent. I'm a you with you there. So, um, probably what they did was they just released police story four in America and just changed it to first strike.
00:03:11
Speaker
That makes sense, right? Let me see. Let me see the alternate post for this movie, because it might say on different posters, police story four, huh? No, there's I've seen three posters. This one says police story five. What in the fuck is going on here? Letterboxed. There's a mix. More of them are just say first strike than not, but a couple of them do have police story four.
00:03:37
Speaker
God, going down the fucking police story rabbit hole. I guess if anybody knows anything about this, because we're obviously don't know what we're talking about right in. It's like this now. Now, am I just missing police story three? Is there a police story five? Who knows? This is police story for the title on letterbox police story four for for for sure. And play well, let's look at.
00:04:01
Speaker
All right, so you got holy shit. There's actually a lot. Oh, boy. You got police story, police story to police story, three super cop for which is called first strike. Then you got five, which is a new police story. Then you got police story 2013. And then it says Seymour. Oh, boy. That's all of them. OK.
00:04:26
Speaker
Uh, so there's six of them total. All right. So you, you have one, two and four, you need three, five and six. Oh man. I mean, Hey, that's that's fine. I like Jackie Chan. So please throw one's great. Okay. I haven't seen two. I need to get criteria on has that big Jackie Chan collection. You're going to get that. I really want it, man.
Family Memories with Jackie Chan Films
00:04:51
Speaker
All right. Hey, you live your life. I thought about Jackie Chan. He's so cool.
00:04:56
Speaker
I mean, i would definite I thought about it, but I'm like, oh there's no way I'm gonna watch all these Jackie Chan movies. Maybe I will, I don't know. I don't have, my setup right now doesn't really allow for box sets. That's fair. more than That's more of it than not. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, I'm just a huge ah Rush Hour fan, so maybe that's why I need all the Jackie. Yeah. I still haven't seen Rush Hour 3 because I'm really scared.
00:05:25
Speaker
No, i've only I've only watched one and two as well. And I watched the second one far apart from the first one. Yeah. One and two. I used to watch like almost every other week with my grandma. Like that's how much I love those movies. Like back and back. Nah, it would be like one week. We watch one. One week we watch two.
00:05:45
Speaker
She probably got tired of them, but I never did. Oh, that's fair.
00:05:53
Speaker
I shared my movie watching grandma experience on our Friday, the 13th episode. So go listen to that and juice numbers up. Um, we'll get into the review.
Review of 'The Descent': Cast and Initial Scenes
00:06:05
Speaker
Yeah. The decent tits. I couldn't think anything. I don't know. Um, here is your cast.
00:06:18
Speaker
You got Shauna McDonald. I say Mac because there is an A in there. It's not just the MC. So I believe it is Macdonald. Have you noticed certain people call it McDonald's? Pissed me off, right? What are you talking about? It's not it's America. It's not how you say it. It's Mick, right? Like Mick Foley. Sean Mick Foley. Come on the podcast. Or don't. I wish. Natalie Mendoza, arguably the worst character in this movie, plays Juno.
00:06:49
Speaker
Yeah, bitch. And then this girl's name is crazy. Myanna, it's M-Y, and then you get a capital A-N-N-A, Myanna. And her last name is Burring. Myanna Burring plays Sam. I got beef with this with this fucking movie that too many of these girls look the same, and I don't like it. Dude, I was so lost. Especially when they're in the dark caves and shit, I do not like this. I was lost. I knew Juno because she's Asian, but that's about it.
00:07:19
Speaker
I knew her and I knew... Oh, Beth. Beth, because she has the... I knew Beth because she has the short hair. I thought Beth was Rebecca for about half the movie. Oh, and Holly. I know Holly, too. Holly was the dyke. Yeah. Maybe we should cut that. I don't know. I'm not really sure what we should do with that.
00:07:39
Speaker
sa Sausica... Saskia. I can't pronounce that name. ah Mulder plays Rebecca. Nora Jane noon plays Holly and then you just get the Other called crawlers I wrote creature my review in my notes, but you have all the credits for all the crawlers so shout to them I Guess one crawler's name is scar. It's kind of cool as I said before it was directed by Neil Marshall who also made the hellboy remake which people fucking hate and
00:08:14
Speaker
I haven't seen it since it came out and I'm sure my taste has changed a lot. But I think back then I liked it. I got the steel on the wall. That's the one with ah David Harbor as Hellboy. I have this Roman. You got the double sided steel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got to get that to John Wick. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I got to get. I love that. Yeah.
00:08:39
Speaker
Anyways, so the main the main gist of this movie ah or when it finally gets to that part of the movie is a group of girls go fucking cave spelunking, which I already didn't fuck with. No. ah Can I share with you? Because I know that you watched it for the first time.
00:08:59
Speaker
Uh, recently, but my family and I went to Colorado for a wedding. Okay. Colorado is, it's like all fucking mountain rocks and mountains and shit. So they filmed, uh, Angley's Hulk parts. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. Um, I liked that movie, but, uh, we're there and my mom wanted us to watch like these Colorado film movies and they're all like these fucked up.
00:09:29
Speaker
Like so like 127 hours that movie with James Frank or we get stuck in the rock. Oh, no. They filmed. They filmed that in Colorado. ah All that to say, they did not film The Descent in Colorado, but it was movie about caving and it was horror. And I was like, let me watch this. And then I watched it while I was in Colorado. I'm like, do not put me near any fucking caves. Oh, you watch this in Colorado? Yeah. Yeah. and And then I was like, yeah, I don't want to go out in nature ever again. No.
00:09:58
Speaker
Like take take the creatures away. I still know, right? Honestly, them just losing their minds in the cave as a movie would be would be. Probably pretty good, right? As like a psychological horror, I guess. ah The movie opens with a group of friends who are White River rafting. It's like four women, and there's this child and father watching.
00:10:26
Speaker
ah And you think a couple of times are they're gonna crash something or maybe you didn't think that I thought that no I did I mean just the thought of whitewater rafting just really bothers me. Yeah, you ever been in No, I've had the I had the opportunity several times when I was in Boy Scouts and I never did it That's it's scary dude. Like I was worried about not wandering off into a field ah oh Yeah, that's a good point um Too many rocks Too many rocks. Too many things can go wrong. I don't trust a little cushiony rafter and did not pop. Exactly. Yeah. But these women are able to go through the whitewater rafting river or whatever and not get injured. I'm a lazy river kind of guy. Me too. Those are fire. Have you ever been in one of the hotels where it's like half in the hotel, half out of it? Sorry, dude.
00:11:21
Speaker
Dude, we went to a hotel one time and it had a lazy like it had a pool area and a lazy river separate from the pool. And half the lazy river was inside the hotel. And then there was like a big glass window and a little cut out where you'd float out and then you'd be outside and you go around outside and come back in. Yeah, I fuck with it. It was fire. I have no idea where we were. and It was at least 12 years ago. So states, though. Yeah. okay Yeah. I think it was one of my sister's cheer competitions. We went somewhere for that.
00:11:48
Speaker
um We cut to our main character, Sarah, ah with her husband and her daughter, and they're driving home, and they're planning a birthday party for her child who, I wrote the name, but it's not here. um And this is kinda, it's fucked up, but I don't know how realistic it is.
00:12:18
Speaker
Yeah, essentially they're in the car the POV is like you're in the middle seat of the backseat and as they're driving the husband's driving and Sarah looks over to the husband. She's like, are you okay? You seem a little out of it and he like kind of looks over at her and you see a car But you see them kind of swerve over into the wrong lane And they get into a head-on collision And these poles, I guess the other cars at Home Depot. Right. Well, it didn't even look you couldn't see the poles at all. But you could have them like, you know how you could like fit them like from your front seat through the back seat and not have the trunk open.
00:12:58
Speaker
OK, yeah, long ways. Sure. um I guess and then like the collision, the you watch the polls go through the window through both windshields and into this was a fuck up. The it goes through Sarah's head. From the from the back, from the back, you're from the like you're if you're behind Sarah's car seat or Sarah seat, you see her blonde hair and you see the polls go through.
00:13:24
Speaker
Oof. But they didn't kill her. They killed. We'll get to that. husband Yeah. um
00:13:33
Speaker
Final destination. Shit. Vibes. Yeah, for sure. And then it's like a cut. This happens a couple of times in the movie where it like you see the birthday cake she would have had for her daughter and then she wakes up in a hospital and she starts taking off all her medical equipment.
00:13:50
Speaker
And she's calling for her daughter, which here's her name, Jess or Jesse. And she's standing in the hallway and the lights start to turn off. And then she starts running down this hallway and the lights behind her are all turning off. And then she like runs into ah Beth.
00:14:08
Speaker
And it like kind of cuts it. It's like back to normal lights were on. I don't know. It was like a nightmare fuel fever dream vibe. Nice little hallucination. Um, and Beth tells her strip she's gone. Uh, so her daughter and her husband died in the accident and the, the breakdown, emotional crying scene that follows us like in the middle of the hallway was pretty good. I thought the acting was Sarah did good, a good job. It was very old. Yeah, it was very good. But the fact that nobody else in the entire hospital like gave a fuck, they just kept walking by, living their lives, like not
00:14:47
Speaker
concerned about this lady on the floor crying. I don't know. If you said something in public, like sobbing, you didn't know, would you stop and be like, you okay?
00:14:59
Speaker
You're probably right. who should stop I don't know. It was just weird. I mean, I'd, I'd maybe from my perspective, if I was the one crying, I'd want someone to be like, are you okay? At least a little bit. Sure.
00:15:16
Speaker
That's fair. Um, then it flashes to the title card and the title card is revealed like you're using a flashlight and it kind of reveals the words.
Cave Trip Setup and Tensions Build
00:15:25
Speaker
Yeah. You forgot to mention that Juno was also there crying. but Where is Juno in the hospital? She was in the hospital. Like, so Beth and Sarah are like on the ground. Yeah. And Juno's kind of like back here and she's, she's crying, but we can tell why she's crying.
00:15:46
Speaker
You'll find out. Then it cuts after the title card, it cuts to the Appalachian mountains one year later. And, uh, I wrote Jess, which isn't right. Um, Sarah is driving with Beth through like these woods. It's like one long skinny road. And then they pass a sign that says Chattanooga national park.
00:16:13
Speaker
Uh, and Beth is telling Sarah, you know, we we don't have to go to this. Don't feel obligated. Uh, and they mentioned that it's all been arranged by their friend Juno. And I guess Juno went and met them somewhere. And I forgot where they say Switzerland or some shit somewhere around there. So way we have to go. Uh, they get to this cabin.
00:16:36
Speaker
And Juneau's out front and they go say hello. And then as they go inside, we meet their other friends, Becca and Sam, who look identical. Yeah. That literally looked like the same person. Too many blondes. Becca, Sam and Sarah all could be the same person. I wouldn't know. Right. The only way you can differentiate them, differentiate them is like Sarah doesn't have an accent. Yeah, I think Becca has the accent, right?
00:17:07
Speaker
Yeah. OK, that's what I put together. um And they're all sitting in this living room in the cabin having beers. ah And Holly comes out of, I guess, the bathroom or a different room somewhere. And ah she's really into base jumping. And I guess her Juno and Sarah used to base jump together and she pulled out this picture of them. ah And then we cut to I guess it's Holly and Sam or Holly and Becca. I don't know which one it is.
00:17:36
Speaker
ah But they're outside talking about their trip which is planned to go to Borem Caverns and ah Holly tells her that it's not for Taurus. It's like you i go in and do it and get out. ah We cut to Sarah who's just laying in bed laying in bed awake and then she gets up to look out a window and the window kind of shatters like a jump scare and then she It cuts their waking up. So was like their nightmare sequence kind of weak sauce, very weak. Um, the next day we followed Juno who's out on a run and she goes to each cabin. I guess there's multiple cabins, not like five to 13 and wakes, uh, wakes everybody up. Uh, when, when they're all together.
00:18:27
Speaker
in the little room. Yeah. Uh, Sarah was Sarah. I forget the context, but someone said something and Sarah said, uh, love each day. That's what my husband used to tell me. Oh yeah. That's very, that's important. Oh, we also, so I also didn't write down that when they're in there, uh, Sam is a, a medical student. She was sorry. She couldn't make it, uh, to,
00:18:56
Speaker
be around with Sarah when her husband and child died, but she said she wrote a letter. Oh, right. That's what that plays a role later on in the in the film. I literally skipped a lot. I'm not sure why I skipped it. ah So Juno comes by Sarah's cabin and we see Sarah pop some pills. um There's some conversation here that I don't think is too important. And they take a group photo in front of the cabin. We cut to them driving to the cave and they're driving kind of recklessly.
00:19:26
Speaker
Yeah, what the fuck is this about? I don't know, dude. They're like off road on this little trail going like this. Yeah, like 60 miles an hour and everybody's getting flung around and they're just like, whoo hoo. Yeah, like I don't know. They had like a Chevy Tahoe and a BMW. I don't know how BMWs are doing off roading. Probably not great. Probably not great. I would agree with you.
00:19:56
Speaker
Uh, and I think it's same who has the watch. Yeah. And she can't figure it out. It's a fucking like G shock looking ripoff. Yeah. A little ripoff G shock. Some like clear yellow plastic. And she's, and she's like, I can't program it. The buttons are too small. Well, you know what? Shut the fuck up, man. Get out of here. I cut that word.
00:20:21
Speaker
You can't work you can't work a watch come the fuck on I've had a g-shock you've had a g-shock they have a g Yeah, they're not hard to set up dumb She can't figure it out and As they're driving Sarah is sus that they're lost She's like, do you know where we're going? Are we going the right way? she's And she's like, yeah, we're going the right way and ah They mentioned the car that the caves are that they're going to the borum caves are a level two something. So it means that they're very safe. And when they get to ah the cave, we watch Juno actively leave like the map of like the caves in the car. Yeah, she puts us fa just like like she's holding it and then she just chucks it in the glove box. rat Well, she does not
00:21:16
Speaker
ah She makes sure like no one's looking and then she throws that shit in there. um Then there are not kind of a hike to the cave and I don't know who's listing off the things, but I think it's Becca. And she's talking about all the things that can go wrong when you go in a cave and it's like disorientation, dehydration, hallucinations, all sorts of shit. Anxiety, paranoia. Yeah, ah which cave spelunking is
00:21:49
Speaker
enough to be anxiety inducing. I don't want to do that. I definitely have claustrophobia. I don't know that I have it, but I'm pretty sure. After watching this, I think I have it. And that makes me want to watch that Ryan Reynolds movie buried even less. That's a good movie. I've seen it. That's actually a movie that takes place entirely in one. It takes place in the coffin. That's it. That's terrifying. Uh, but it's good. I enjoy it. All right. I'll have to watch it then.
00:22:16
Speaker
Yeah. If you like this movie, go watch. Well, actually, I don't know if I can relate. If you like claustrophobic movies, go watch Barry. I'll say that they're different. They're very, very different. um As they're walking, they find a dead elk, which I guess the point of this is for later on that I won't spoil, but I didn't really get this.
Deep Cave Exploration and Rising Fear
00:22:37
Speaker
I don't get why they're poking it with a stick and shit.
00:22:40
Speaker
ah kids do that, not adults. Right. And like, I feel like that's more of a guy thing. I agree. But who are we to assume gender norms in 2024? You're right. You're right.
00:22:55
Speaker
They get to this. Juno, you know, they get to this ah cave and Juno's like, we're here. It's literally just a fucking hole in the ground. And and I don't know who says it, but I think ah one of them is like, I'm an English teacher, i'm not fucking Tomb Raider. Yeah. Like the fuck are we doing here? Yeah. Uh, so they rappelled down this cave and Holly's like one of the last ones down and she's pretty, she like basically drops down and Juno's pissed about that. And she's also filming. She's a camera. She's filming most of it.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah, she's got a shout out 2005 camcorder. It's pretty good. um They're exploring like the first area of the cave and Sarah finds like some very small blood marks on the walls and you get a jump scare bats like shooting out of a crevice. Bad CGI bats. Very bad, I agree. Batman Begins did it better. Yeah, Batman Begins is go to dude. ah Debatable.
00:23:59
Speaker
You don't like it? I don't like Batman Begins that much. Oh, I hate to tell you in the minority. I know. i Do you like it more than the Dark Knight Rises, or do you like Dark Knight Rises more? I like Dark Knight Rises more. It's a hot, hot take. That's actually a very hot take. but a steaming That's a steaming pile of Cleveland Steamer hot take. I'm sorry if I upset anybody. o You upset me. rat i I think Dark Knight's the best, if that makes you feel better, but I feel like that's...
00:24:28
Speaker
Yeah, that's normal. Yeah. It's a typical belief. OK.
00:24:36
Speaker
The bat shoot out and Sarah freaks the fuck out, but like way more than price should. Yeah, I don't know what person does. She like it. It's kind of like seizes up and starts like shaking, like panic attack. Right. And I think this part's actually pretty funny. Holly does the.
00:24:54
Speaker
Like Dracula impression. Yeah, one bat, two bats, 50 bats. It was funny. I found that very funny. I'm like, oh, she's the comedic relief, but she doesn't say too many more one liners after this. It's just kind of like that moment. And um maybe she says the Tomb Raider line. I have no idea. There's no way that bitch is an English teacher. No. No, she just lives her life and makes money here and there. Right. ah They find a a hole and Juno's like, that's the only way down. So they're in this really tiny tunnel they're climbing through. Super narrow, this movie's very dark. It's all like, you can only see what they see with the flashlight basically. And ah they come into a clearing and they throw some flares to light up the cave and they decide they're gonna sit and eat lunch. Sarah doesn't want to eat because she's clinically depressed.
00:25:53
Speaker
ah And this is where Juno tells her i ah you know I'm sorry for not staying around longer after her accident. I guess I do get this then. All right, now it makes sense to me. I didn't know i didn't catch this in my first watch. And I definitely didn't catch it until I'm reading it right now to you. Sarah's like, well, I feel a little avid. I'm gonna go walk around. It's probably just jet lag, but probably because Juno's fucking annoying. And Sarah's willing to find the next passage.
00:26:19
Speaker
When they get to the the tunnel, ah she's like, this is not what the book says. And you're like, yeah, it is. And Juno goes first to like clear out a I guess like be the what's the word? Can you find the frontier person to make sure it's like clear, like good to go? She goes test and test it. The scout, she's scouting it. That's. Yeah, she's scouting, making sure that everybody can fit through the hole. And you see her go for like a while before it's like, all right, here it's good to go. Why the fuck do people do this, man? I just I don't I don't know why people do this. It's a very, very claustrophobic shot. It's a very niche hobby for sure. Yeah. ah We follow. Sarah is the last one to go in and she has the rope bag and she gets stuck because the bag and her are too thick to get through the the hole.
00:27:18
Speaker
And she starts freaking out. And I don't like that. That's like, what are you freaking out about? And it's like. Now, you know what I'm freaking out about. I'm stuck in a fucking cave and stuck. I have maybe an inch like each way between my rock the rocks and my face. ah Yeah, that was kind of annoying. And then they tell they tell the lemon joke. did You find that funny? No. Oh, OK. We will mention it. Did you? I chuckled. It wasn't like hilarious, but i was like that's pretty good.
00:27:48
Speaker
Tell the audience. Uh, Beth's trying to calm down Sarah and she's like, you know, how do you, how do you give it a lemon orgasm? And she goes, you tickle its clitoris. Citrus. I fucked it up. Yeah. Well, anyways, she's like, Oh, don't worry. You got through the worst of it. And then a boulder starts to fall in between them. And it's like, Oh, you thought it was bad. Now it's real bad.
00:28:18
Speaker
About to get 10 times worse. And that's like, all right, fuck the rope bag. Let's go. And they pull through and the boulder falls and it crushes their the way they came in. So.
00:28:35
Speaker
They start asking Juno about how to get out and there is supposedly three different systems to get out. Supposedly. And. Juno.
00:28:47
Speaker
ah Juno admits that she didn't bring the book and That she brought them to a different system with no name Because no one's ever been down ah And she wants to must be the people that discover it and name it gosh i did it but of That's the goofy dude like that is knockoff goofy that's the video I Oh, that video. Okay. Yeah. Got it. I couldn't fit the y'all do it again, but ah I have three from that video and I couldn't fit them. I have that one. That's it. You're like, what is that? It's the video, man. It's the video. If y'all haven't seen that, maybe I'll link in the description. You got to link that one. That's a classic. Uh,
00:29:44
Speaker
So she didn't bring the book. She brought me to a new cave and she wanted to, you know, experience it with all of them. No one's ever been down here. They're fucking yeah angry and. It's like we got to keep moving. And they come to a clearing, I guess it's like a cliff. It's like a ravine. Yeah, inside of it. Yeah. I felt like I was playing Minecraft. Minecraft vibes for sure. This whole movie, big Minecraft vibes, I feel.
00:30:14
Speaker
Except it goes way worse than anything that can happen in a fucking Minecraft cave. That's true. ah And they drop a rock to see how far down it is and you hear the the rock falls for a while before you hear a crash. So it's deep.
00:30:33
Speaker
um And then Becca fucking on her on her gang shit, she look I mean, she literally just starts scaling the ceiling. with like these clips. I don't know what you call them, but they like, you know, latch on to the rocks. They have like little they're like little gears. Yeah. And you it kind of like gets shoved in between like openings in the ceiling. And that's supposed to hold you. Which I get people use it, I'm pretty sure. Right. And she notices. What are those little things? Carabiner. There you a look at you. Pirates of the carabiner.
00:31:12
Speaker
I want to watch that.
00:31:17
Speaker
And she notices towards the end of the like closer to the other side that there's an older piece of equipment stuck in the the ceiling and she like latches onto that. um And while she's trying to do it, it's like a struggle because it's a lot of like upper body strength to do this. And she was like, hurry up. What are you doing? Let's go. She's being a fucking bitch. And it's just like, dude, shut the fuck up. I hate your stupid bitch ass.
00:31:42
Speaker
It's so annoying. Right. Like if it was so easy, why the fuck didn't you do it? She's struggling. Right. I don't blame her. I'm not that strong. I can't even do a pull up. Right. Exactly. The fuck?
00:31:54
Speaker
ah So they so Becca gets over and they basically create like a zip line almost. Right. Yeah. i and Zip line across. And as Sarah is about to get on the ah zip line, she asked, you know, she's like, is this for you or is this for me?
00:32:12
Speaker
And June is like, well, it's for us mean the whole trip. Right. And June is like, no, it's for us, which is bullshit. um And then June is the last one to cross and she throws the rope to their side. So we're going to all we can get because they lost the rope bag and the other cavern cavern tunnel hole, whatever the gap that they fucking found somehow. Yeah. ah And she kisses. Go ahead.
00:32:41
Speaker
No, I was just going to explain that she was taking out all the little gear johns. Right. I thought she was kissing across, but she kisses a necklace. hey To be determined to be determined necklace and she starts climbing across and as you just mentioned, she's pulling the johns out of the ceiling.
00:33:11
Speaker
When she gets to the last one that's clipped into the old old John, ah it it falls, and I believe it's Rebecca who's holding the, Rebecca or Sam, I don't remember which one, is holding the rope, and the rope starts pulling because she's falling, and the rope burn like gashes this bitch's hand wide open. Nasty shit. right well It was brutal, but they're able to hold her, and then she climbs up, and she says that this old hanger,
00:33:39
Speaker
John carabiner thing they're using. She said it's over a hundred years old. Like what the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck do you know that? How do you know? 100 years was 1905 when this shit came out. People are shitting outside.
00:34:00
Speaker
ah People are dying from the common flu. They're going in caves. Nah. like they And they're making it look like it looks like a forged piece of metal that you shaped like almost into a J, but you made the little loop connect. So it's like a hole. Yeah, it's exactly right. I don't know. I don't know how. I'm sure there was blacksmiths in 1905, but they're going case belonging. Not a shot. Weren't they just like, hey, we just found the rest of America. That's not true. That.
00:34:33
Speaker
and Um, yeah, did they even have like that type of rope? No, they didn't have strong enough rope for that shit. Jake, let us know. Jake, let know jake it jake what what was the technology of 1905 right into the podcast or come on, whatever. It was the first car. I should know around there, right? The Model T, right? Right. 1912, maybe type shit.
00:35:03
Speaker
What year was the first car made? 1886. Oh. Oh, like 20 years off. It's not bad. Actually more like 30, but it's fine.
00:35:17
Speaker
ah Anyway, she gets across and she says this equipment's 100 years old. And um there's this weird creepy moment where she said, well, you know, if anybody made it out of this cave, they would have named it. It's like, ooh, spooky. Everyone died.
00:35:40
Speaker
And then Holly notices some drawings on the walls of like cattle and Most of the group wants to stop and look at it and June's like let's just fucking go guys They keep moving we can't just stand here and they're like no look at it and they light a flare in June was pissed that they're just wasting time but it reveals there's two entry slash exit ways through the mountain. Uh, as they walk away, you see a little creature kind of watching them cooling a little bit. His lips got some serious drool going on. Uh, fresh pussy.
00:36:26
Speaker
They're in a, an opening in Juneau is holding a lighter by all of the, Entryways that they could possibly go through and I guess she's seeing it flight if the flame gets bigger because that means there's oxygen and they can Explore more the cave right fucking
Chaos Unleashed: Cave Creatures Attack
00:36:42
Speaker
spelunker. I don't know like the way the winds blowing ah And Holly stupid bitch just takes off because she thinks she sees daylight it just keeps running like forest like forest
00:36:58
Speaker
And, uh, she falls down a hole. Like Juno almost saves her, but she falls down a hole and she, I wrote injures her leg, but we've come to find out her leg is the bone is out. So if you guys want an, like a detailed explanation on this, go Google, uh, Kevin Ware leg injury.
00:37:19
Speaker
Is that the basketball player? Yeah, dude. We're going to link that in the description, too. You have to, because that is exactly what it looks like. That video I've put on my memory until you just said that. Got you, dog. Fucking brutal. That was on live television, right? Yes, it was. 2013.
00:37:37
Speaker
not no ah Yeah, so her bone is sticking all the way out of her leg. Yeah. Uh, and they come down there, I guess it's Sam, not Becca that cuts her pant leg to reveal this bone. And, uh, there's some water like kind of missing over them. They pick up Holly and move her out of the water. And while they're doing first aid, Sarah kind of wanders off.
00:38:04
Speaker
And Sam is like, I gotta push her bone back into her leg so I can make a splint. And instead of just like pushing the bone back into her leg, her legs are kind of at an angle. They just straighten her leg to make the bone go in. And at the end, she like kind of jimmies it all the way <unk> into her fucking leg. It's brutal. I didn't expect this kind of nastiness out of this movie. Oh, I mean, it's there. It's definitely there. You know what's really,
00:38:34
Speaker
awesome about this movie the way it's shot go ahead so the whole movie is kind of dark right because they're in this cave yeah but the shade of red they they use for the blood oh yeah brighter than like if they were trying to make it realistic but it really makes everything pop when there's blood Yeah, and I also like later on, like some of the darker shades of red they use when it gets a little more gory. Right. We'll get to that. But I agree with you. That's a good a good thing to point out. By the way, ah for all you that sucks, the spirit is dick for using red. Eat my ass. The movie's ass. The movie's fucking terrible. If he likes a spear, write it and defend it.
00:39:24
Speaker
um anti-suspiria podcast for sure. You know what? I'm even an anti-suspiria remake podcast. I haven't even seen that. Well, guess what? You're not missing out. Is it better? But they have that chick from Madam Web, isn't it? Oh, OK. There's a lot of like almost seeing pussy in that movie. I don't know if that sounds very misogynistic to say, but.
00:39:47
Speaker
It definitely does. But hey, it's all right. Well, is that our cancel button?
00:39:58
Speaker
ah So Sarah's kind of been wandering off and she finds a helmet with like a light attached to top like you go like to like go caving in and she hears and sees something that's growling.
00:40:14
Speaker
ah And then the POV switches to like Sarah's POV and she's using like a flashlight and you see the flashlight and it almost looks like golem a Little bit. and Yes, and then They make eye contact this little creature you know scurries off and Juno comes over. She's like what the fuck you doing and She gas lights. So there's nobody here. You're just hallucinating.
00:40:39
Speaker
ah And then they come back to the group and ah Sarah tells the group that she saw someone for sure. And she's like, I don't know if I was who's living before, but now I know for sure I'm not. And I definitely saw somebody. ah And Juno says that the daylight that Holly saw was phosphorus rock. And then the guy carries Molly, Molly, Holly's bitch ass through the cave because she can't walk and fucking bitch.
00:41:09
Speaker
They get to this clearing I guess and they're it's super dark and they ask Holly to use the infrared camera on her camcorder and it revealed hundreds of like skeletons of dead animals. Yeah, like this thing these things have been feasting. The only thing that was funny was it pans over and you see like a ah head that hasn't been eaten at all of an animal and it looks like a fucking mascot helmet. Yeah, it does, right?
00:41:35
Speaker
um And they're kind of panicking out, because there's all these dead animals down here. And there's three, I guess there's three options of tunnels to go down. And June was like, I don't fucking know, pick one. And then somebody starts freaking out, just screaming for help. ah And they're using the camera, and it reveals a creature is standing right but behind them. Now, for all my video game friends out there in the world,
00:42:02
Speaker
These creatures look exactly like the Falmer from Skyrim. Shout out to Skyrim. I've played that game in a long fucking time. That was a good game. Remember the Falmer? No. OK, well. Skyrim had to take these creatures from there because it's the exact same fucking thing. The only thing I could think of is it kind of looks like the hybrid at the end of Alien Romulus. Yeah, a little bit. Really?
00:42:31
Speaker
That was not way to way taller. Yeah. So this creature that appeared is definitely discriminatory because it goes right for the dike. And it attacks Holly at Bicer neck and Juneau tries to ah s save her and she hits the creature like a rock pick, I guess. Rock pick. It's like a pickaxe. Pickaxe. Yeah, not a rock pick.
00:42:59
Speaker
All right, a pick for rocks, a pickaxe. Pick for rocks. Pick your ass. Yeah, you can pick my ass. How you doing? ah And then another one starts attacking Juno and she's able to kill that one with a pick. And she's like in this fit of rage, I guess. And she turns around and swings the pickaxe and it kills.
00:43:25
Speaker
Well, it doesn't kill, but it looks like she kills Beth because the pickaxe goes right through her neck, lengthwise. A la inside fire steak through the neck. Not as much blood squirting, but Beth falls to the ground and she grabs, I guess when Beth fell, she ah she grabbed the necklace off Juno's uh, neck. Wow. That was hard for no reason.
00:44:01
Speaker
And, uh, she's lying there like almost dead. And she's like, don't leave me, Juno. Don't leave me here to die. And Juno just bounces. Yeah. She's like, nah, I'm good. So at this point, the whole group is, uh, has been like dispersed. Everyone's kind of like in their own little group. We see a flash of Sarah's daughter who died.
00:44:26
Speaker
And she's, but she's not facing the camera and she turns around and it's a, it turned into a creature and it's pretty good. Uh, and Sarah awakens alone, but the POV is like through the camcorder, like angled at her face. I feel like some of this, if it was shot, like, uh, found footage vibe would be good. That's what I was thinking. People kind of hate on found footage, which I'm also kind of a hater on found footage, I guess. There's certain movies that do it well in certain movies that don't.
00:44:55
Speaker
Right. Even if more of a blend would be good. Sure.
00:45:02
Speaker
ah She sees more animal skulls and I believe she sees human skulls here too. ah And she's moving through this cave and kind of out of nowhere, hot Holly's body drops like right in front of her. check And she watches ah these creatures eat Holly, which is kind of graphic, but it's a little dark.
00:45:29
Speaker
We cut to Sam and Rebecca or Becca who were together and they hear a creature, I guess, and they just lay down like on a, not even a bed, but it looks like a bunk bed. It looks like a natural bunk bed. Right. And they like cuddle each other. It's cute. It's a little cute, right? ah We cut back to Sarah who is watching these creatures eat Holly's guts out.
00:45:54
Speaker
Uh, and she's like about to throw up. She's like, you know and, uh, the creature hears her and you see the creature come like right up to the camera. And I don't know if you've said it, but they're blind. I was going to say right now, because they're a little bit too in the know, like the, you can see they're blind by a few of these scenes and then they have, they point out in the movie several times that they're blind.
00:46:22
Speaker
But yes, they live in a fucking cave and it's dark all the time. They can't see shit. Right. They're only going off ah sound sound. It's kind of like bats, like echolocation, which they mentioned in the movie. Correct.
00:46:37
Speaker
ah So this creature, like right in front of the camera and then Juno's dumbass is just yelling for Sarah and the creature runs off because he she hears or the creature hears Juno calling.
00:46:50
Speaker
Did you just assume the creature's gender? I did. And you know what? We can't see anything. We have no idea what it is. No idea. Well, there is one. There is. There is one. Yes. That has tits.
00:47:09
Speaker
ah We're back with Becca and Sam. This creature comes in this room they're in and it's like right, right next to them. And it moves on and they realize here ah they can't fucking see. So if you guys hadn't picked up on it yet, this scene definitely confirms these creatures cannot see. It's like a T-Rex, you know, Jurassic Park. Right. Juneau's calling for them and she's kind of running through these caves and it's dark, but she sees an arrow like written in chalk. Mm hmm.
00:47:42
Speaker
um We come back to Sarah, who's. I guess the The creatures who ate Holly have scurried off. And she finds a lantern. And she uses like a lantern, a knife, and like a piece of piece of cloth to make a torch. Or a pizza cloth. And this, what am I fucking, Mike Tyson? I'm Mike Tyson.
00:48:07
Speaker
I'm just here for the putty. Putty wimp. I wish I had a button for this. I actually like this scene quite a bit when she likes the torch and the reveal of all the blood Yeah, and like the bones and whatever. It was very cool ah There's corpses everywhere and ah We cut back to there's a lot of cuts in this part of the movie but we come back to Juno who's just yelling for anybody and she sees a creature and
00:48:43
Speaker
Uh, we cut, then we could just cut back to Rebecca and Sam who are moving through the cave and a creature is drops like from the ceiling and attacks Becca. And he's about to eat her and then Juno fucking throwing knives motherfucker with a pick. Yeah. Saves the day. Um, and she tells, uh, Becca and Sam the creatures ate or killed Holly and Beth, which is a lie.
00:49:13
Speaker
And here's the exposition we were talking about that they hunt by sound like a bat. And Juno says she makes this wild assumption that they bring their food down from the surface. So there has to be a way out and she found markings.
00:49:30
Speaker
ah I guess it's not a wild assumption because there are all these. Like skeletons of animals in there. Right, but to just assume.
00:49:43
Speaker
That there's another way out? Yeah. I guess. Like, what's the average cave? You know? Like, how many entrances does the average cave have? Who the fuck knows? Not me. I don't know. I don't know, bro. I don't know, bro. And then, they're like, we can't leave because we have to find Sarah.
00:50:09
Speaker
ah Sarah meanwhile finds best body And she's still alive Barely kicking barely kicking and that's like you can't trust this bitch ah She left me to die she pickaxe my neck She's like find your own way out And she hands Juno, she hands, wow. She hand, Beth hands Sarah Juno's necklace, which says the phrase, which was what? Love each day. And she mutters like from Paul. So I'm this, the realization here that I didn't get the first watch or until we started recording this podcast was. Well, I mentioned it. Yeah. Was that.
00:51:03
Speaker
Juno is having a affair with Paul behind Sarah's back. Right. Oh, and then ah so she gives her the necklace, and then Beth's like, hey, you can't leave me like this. You got to put me out of my misery. And ah Sarah closes Beth's eyes, and she smashes her face with a rock, which is sad. Very sad. Would you do that for me? If you asked me to. Yeah.
00:51:34
Speaker
ah She has like barely a moment to breathe and she gets attacked by a creature but stomps him out And I guess this little creature was a child because the mother creature with big fat saggy tits comes out ah And Sarah decides to just run and she falls into this massive pool of like blood guts Yeah, what are kind of chunky? It's thick too thick blood chunks.
00:52:07
Speaker
ah And really good IQ here to come up from this lake, like breach the top quietly, not like be screaming. Right. um But a creature still grabs her and pulls her under and they're fighting. And she's like she crawls to the the shore and she grabs a ah bone and stabs his creature in the eye.
00:52:35
Speaker
ah And then she's like I guess you perfectly tossed this torch onto a rock Right. Yeah, like gotta survive and she goes to Grab this up torch, but she hears another creature coming in like immediately like just goes limp And this creature is like right on top of her like they walk on her head. we Yeah, literally walks across her and
00:53:00
Speaker
Uh, and he, this creature kind of moves on. Oh no. She picks up a fucking bone or a fucking log. I have no, it was heavy. Yeah. It looks like a big leg bone. Beamer beater, egg beaters. And then you hear a scream probably letting it out. Then we cut to Juno, Sam, and Becca who run into a horde of creatures. Uh, so they're on the run.
00:53:30
Speaker
and they get to a the, I don't know if it's the same big ass gap from before or it's a different one, but. I think it's a different one, right? ah look It's definitely the same, go ahead. Because why would they be going to that same one? They know they can't get out that way. I figured they were just lost. Oh, okay. And like in that moment, they're probably just like, oh wait, throw it this way. But the set is definitely the same. It looks the exact same.
00:53:57
Speaker
Yeah, they probably couldn't afford anything else. But to be fair, I bet most caves look the same. That's very true. You ever go Minecrafting? You're really trying to pull us out of me, aren't you? second time You mentioned Minecraft. Yeah, I was a Minecraft kid. We were. I couldn't play not to my level. No, that's true. I couldn't play. I'm ready games. I was in fucking Minecraft land all day. ah Which, by the way, that fucking movie looks terrible.
00:54:25
Speaker
God, what an abomination. We have to review it. No, what? No. You won't review Heretic and we have to review the Minecraft movie? Yeah. Fuck you. Because of how bad it looks. It doesn't look bad. And it's actually got really good reviews. No, I mean, Minecraft. Well, shut the fuck up, man. Get out of here. All right. We won't. It's all right. I'm not. If you want us to review the Minecraft movie right in, if we get two write ins through via email, it has to be via email. I'll do it. And Anna, you don't count.
00:54:57
Speaker
Cause you'd fucking put her to do it. Honestly, you put her you put, you put her mark in autumn to do it. That's probably true. and They're excluded too. All right. All y'all excluded. If we get two, just two, two separate emails. Yeah. Two guys, one screen pod at gmail dot.com. Let us hear it. I'm not, I do not want to review that. Fuck it. I don't even want to go see it. I'll make a deal with you right now, right here, right now. Okay.
00:55:27
Speaker
If if you agree to review heretic, I will do the Minecraft movie one for one. Is heretic out? No, it's not on November, which is empty, empty.
00:55:41
Speaker
That's the movie where like the religious people in the building, right? In the house. Yeah. But from but from what I heard, because it just played at ah Fantastic Fest, is that ah the trailer is pretty misleading as far as what actually happens in the movie.
00:55:57
Speaker
Kind of like a kind like Strange Darling. Okay. So you're agreeing to do Heretic, and we'll do the Minecraft movie. Yes. Jesus Christ. It's Jason Bourne. You guys heard it here, so cancel the whole thing about emails. I got Gerald to trade with me. When's Minecraft come out? Fucking hopefully never. Hopefully gets cancelled.
00:56:29
Speaker
Uh, okay. Can I sweeten the deal? Sure. Would you be willing to do the same exact deal if you do the scene by scene for Minecraft? Yeah. Sure. Why? Because I don't want to, I just don't want to do it. Oh, it's not coming out to April 2025. Oh, we got time.
00:56:51
Speaker
I got time to fucking brace myself for that fucking piece of shit movie. God. It's got to be a one star at minimum, right? No, at minimum, maximum. The options are start a one star. Those are the options for me. What if it blows your fucking mind? It won't. What if it's actually a horror movie with Harold Bryan? I hope they do that.
00:57:15
Speaker
That'd be great. i hope And I hope they make the creepers actually, or the um the creepers are actual priests.
00:57:30
Speaker
yeah one Enderman, Enderman, not Slenderman, Enderman. Yeah. Those are tall priests. <unk> they fucking so So Steve's a choir boy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:57:46
Speaker
I'm going to put it in your pick ass.
00:57:56
Speaker
I'm going to take my my shovel and scoop out your booty hole. I'll show you my golden hole.
00:58:07
Speaker
ah oh so um It's either Becca or Sam is going to go up on this ceiling. I guess it's Becca and. i She's trying to climb, but her hands are all fucked up from the rope burn from earlier. ah And she was like, what are you doing? And it's like, what are the other fucking options? Right. well Well, you're not doing it. I have to fucking do it. um And a creature appears on the ceiling like right in front of her the way she needs to go. um
00:58:40
Speaker
and He just slashes her throat, but she also stabs him and I guess this creature falls to the ground and then Juno and Becca or Sam watch this happen and then one of the creatures from That they were running from appears and grabs ah Becca and starts eating our guts out literally the graphic. Yeah, you see it Juno falls into like She falls into water. Water. And slacks in the flesh. And there's like an underwater fight with a creature. She kills them. So there's more than one creature. I didn't figure that out yet. ah Hunt it. And she starts climbing out of this lake and she's about to fall and Sarah grabs her and pulls her in. And she confronts her about Beth.
00:59:38
Speaker
And Juno says that she watched her die. um And then they're running through the tunnels. Did you notice here they're going the opposite direction of the arrows? No, I didn't even peep the arrows. It's very quick, but the arrows are the other way and they're going the wrong way. ah And they run into three creatures and they're like, all right, we got to fucking fight these hoes.
01:00:00
Speaker
um The kills are pretty good. ah Sarah's like completely feral at this point. She's like fucking bit one's head open, ah gouging their eyes out. And Juno smacks one of these creatures heads and like into a wall just as hard as you can. And she sticks a flare one of their mouths. Right. Which looks pretty cool. on Fire. Yeah. Make a jack-o-lantern out of this motherfucker. And then fucking cracks his head with the pickaxe. And then they have a face to face Sarah and
01:00:33
Speaker
Juno, and Sarah shows Juno the necklace. And you hear creatures going, ah, in the background. That's really fucking good. I know. Thank you. And Sarah stabs Juno with a pickaxe right through her fucking knee.
Discussion on 'The Descent' Endings
01:00:51
Speaker
Quite a kneecap. She's like, fuck you, bitch. You fuck my husband. Time for you to die.
01:00:59
Speaker
ah So Sarah just leaves Juno there, and we see Juno pull the pickaxe out of her knee, and she's ready to defend herself, but she's wildly outnumbered. ah And we can hear, the camera cuts to Sarah, but we can hear Juno screaming in the background, probably dying. And Sarah's running for her life and falls down a hole, and she ends up on essentially a pile of bones, and there's like daylight, and she crawls and crawls over these bones, and she preaches the surface, and she runs to her car, and Gets the fuck out. She's in this car and she finally pulls over and like has a breakdown moment, sobs and this fucking random ass truck passes by and like honks. It's just a jump scare. Yeah. And then she looks over in her passenger seat and Juneau is in the passenger seat. ah Which is like a jump scare. And then she wakes up and she's still in the cave. And there's a zoom out slowly and she's sitting there with her daughter and a birthday cake.
01:02:00
Speaker
ah And the credits roll over a picture that the the group took the beginning of the of the movie and that is the fan voted dissent I Fuck with it What is it? So the alternate ending is why it ends on Juneau in the passenger seat? Yeah, so there's two endings. There's the UK ending and then the US ending because Apparently the US ending or the like the original ending that we saw They, uh, us test audiences said it was too depressing. I like it. I like it too. Yeah. So the first, the, uh, UK ending is what we said where she wakes up and the cave, the us ending, uh, the movie ends when you see Juno in the passenger seat.
01:02:57
Speaker
Right. Which. i prefer the uk for sure because it's uh because she's basically gonna it's blu she's gonna fucking die like she's not gonna get out yeah also how do you fall downwards and then miraculously find a surface right that's why it was a oh no ah nightmare a nightmare a hallucination type thing
01:03:32
Speaker
um So I I've talked uh I've talked this movie up pretty heavily on The podcast especially the month of September and I'm pretty sure there's a recording Posted on the internet of me saying that the descent is a four and a half to five star. That is very true And I gave it a four
01:03:56
Speaker
I like it. It's good. I mean, it' solid yeah, I'm giving it a three and a half. Yeah, that's fair. No, it it's a good. It's a very good movie.
01:04:07
Speaker
I don't think it tops. I said it would top possibly top the gore in inside and not even close. No, I remembered a lot more gore and I think what brings the movie down for me, there's too much set up in the beginning. Like just get in the cave. I thought it was paced well.
01:04:26
Speaker
okay uh what didn't you like what didn't i like yeah about the um like we said earlier hard to differentiate all the people i kept getting confused i don't know i feel like the ah whole affair angles kind of
01:04:48
Speaker
I feel like we hate Juno enough. Yeah, we hate her enough because she fucked us over with like going to this wrong cave. We don't need the affair thing to like hate her. I think her leaving Juno there to die is justified enough minus the affair. I agree. And she let Beth die. she Yeah. I mean, she killed that bitch. Also, she could have left that thing in her neck, right? Not pick it out. Yeah. Would that have helped? I don't know if it's in your neck.
01:05:16
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. Maybe you're kind of fucked. Cause the blood was coming out of her mouth. It was everywhere. Right. But like, if there's something through your neck, like you can't stop it. Cause it's going to come out through the hole. You can't plug your holes. Your mouth hole. You can't block every hole. Yeah. whole right yeah Yeah, I enjoy this movie there. I didn't remember so much set up, and I honestly in my head wrote in my review that I put spoiler in case you saw it. I thought there was a lot more blood than there actually was. I mean, there's blood. There's a good amount. There's definitely blood. There's definitely blood. I would recommend this movie to anybody who's a horror fan if you haven't seen this. This is like a cult classic a little bit. It definitely has a cult following. I don't think it's like mainstream. but you For sure.
01:06:00
Speaker
Lionsgate put it out. Again, this is a win. This was the winner of the horror Halloween bracket. We'll be doing it again next year Right into the podcast what you want on the bracket right where you want us to review And thanks once again to all the fans that voted for Voted in general, you know, hey, are you upset the strangers didn't win? Well Better luck next time right in if you want us to review the strangers next year next week
01:06:32
Speaker
Tuesday, we got basket case for you. Solid movie shot Belial, my boy. That was good. Uh, and then to cap off our Halloween month, we have the ABCs of death. And that'll be your, your Halloween, Halloween horror month. Thank you very much for participating.
01:07:06
Speaker
Follow us on Instagram two guys one screen pod Send any comments concerns requests to two guys one screen pod at gmail dot.com Follow us on letterbox. Our links will be in the description All right. We'll see y'all fucking ah Tuesday two little Mark Fuck you, buddy