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#71 Write That Book and Heal with Porsche Mysticque Steele
10 Plays10 months ago
You have a powerful story to tell, no doubt. And you know you need to WRITE THAT BOOK!
But how? And what is actually stopping you from writing it? What gets to be healed through the process and BEFORE the process?
Author, Independent Publishing Expert, TEDx speaker, thrivor after family trauma and sexual abuse... she drops certified success tips, gems on mindset and right emotional space, and getting the publishing of your book done.
Whether you've been through trauma, divorce, abuse, domestic violence, family drama/trauma... whatever your story is, you deserve to write your book and heal.
Let's dive in together...
You can get Porsche's book The CEO Author here: https://www.porschesteele.com/theceoauthor
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Transcript
Introduction to Writing Authentic Stories
00:00:00
Speaker
It's so funny, I never thought of it this way, but it really is a sexy process, which is a weird word. Why do not? It is a very sexy process, guys. You start from this place of, ugh, I don't really wanna tell the whole story, but I wanna tell enough because people keep telling me that I have a powerful story and I should write a book, and pretty much that's why I'm doing it. But I don't wanna do all of it. And then I tell people, you can't write a book if you're not gonna tell the whole thing.
00:00:29
Speaker
You just can't. We're going to feel as readers. We're going to feel that something is missing. We're going to know that there's a piece of information here that's not in here and is weird. And it creates this inauthentic between the author and the reader. So you definitely have to do the whole thing.
Empowering Female Leaders: Meet Latoya Zavala
00:00:53
Speaker
Welcome to Freed and Powered Up. Here is where conscious female leaders can really start to break free from the self-sabotage, the fears, the triggers, and limiting behaviors and beliefs that keep us from being our highest and best selves. Every episode, I'm going to reconnect you to your inner power. I'm your host and your sister, Latoya Zavala. Let's go.
00:01:25
Speaker
Those of you who have been waiting for this live, for this power, for this juiciness, welcome on in, welcome on in, welcome on in. Today is your day to have this power infused. And I am so, so super excited.
00:01:41
Speaker
to have our guest on today. Let me introduce myself. I'm Latoya, your spiritual inner power coach, guide, and practitioner, helping women across the globe clear all the BS that's stuck in their energy bodies so that they can move forward and really, truly live their best lives in their highest selves.
Meet Prisha Mystique Steele: Book Coach and Publishing Expert
00:02:02
Speaker
And today, our topic is healing through writing, and we have our fantastic, extraordinary guest, and I will allow her to introduce
00:02:11
Speaker
Go ahead, love.
00:02:16
Speaker
Thank you. Hi, everybody. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. My name is Prisha Mystique Steele. I'm an award-winning book coach, TEDx speaker, independent book publishing expert, and I'm really glad to be here. I'm the CEO of Mystique Gross Publishing Services, so I help business owners and leaders combine their story and their wisdom inside highly impactful books that generate income, influence, and elevates them to thought leadership.
00:02:46
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I have so many questions and I can't wait to dive in. You know what, this might be one of my favorite things to do as I'm thinking about it. Yeah, I really love getting to ask the questions and dive in. So without further ado, let's go in. I'm known for going deep quickly. So here's the question.
Why Heal Before Writing about Personal Trauma?
00:03:11
Speaker
I know, I personally know people who will be watching this live, who will come on in as they get the notification and they'll be watching the replay and they have a book inside of them and they are not writing it. And that book has been inside of them for a year, years, for many people, years. And I ain't gonna call those names out, but some of you are watching and you already know who you are.
00:03:41
Speaker
So why, from your expertise, from your experience, why aren't they writing this book? I think the answer is very simple. It's because they're not healed. People are unable to tell their story. It's because they are not fully healed from it. And you shouldn't. If you're not healed from a certain thing, then you should not.
00:04:11
Speaker
not tell your story to people because as a friend of mine had said, why I want to bleed on people. If you're speaking from an open wound, people who are listening to you and you don't want to do that. So for those who have that powerful, crazy story about where they've been and what they've been through and they're afraid to share it, don't because you're not ready to and people aren't ready to hear it from you because when you share it, you're not going to help them. You're only going to hurt yourself.
00:04:40
Speaker
Wow. I can honestly say I've never heard that. I've never heard a book or a writing coach say that. And I think that that's very powerful because I really think that
00:04:58
Speaker
What I feel has happened is you're calling people out to step into their healing, which they get to do, which is also a powerful place to go ahead and to step into your healing so that you can give birth to this book. You also mentioned in what you were saying, you mentioned they have this super powerful story, but they're not sharing it because they're afraid.
Overcoming Fears: Guilt and Shame in Storytelling
00:05:28
Speaker
What are they afraid of? I think most people who have a great story but they can't bring themselves to share it is that they may be afraid of the guilt and the shame that comes with telling the truth. The guilt and the shame.
00:05:46
Speaker
Yes, the guilt and the shame because I'll give you an example. So my story revolves around the relationship that I have with my father. So I grew up in a very impressive household, wasn't allowed to go out, wasn't allowed to date, wasn't allowed to surf the way I wasn't allowed to go to university, wasn't allowed to get a job, all that stuff. So me and myself, we were at home 24-7.
00:06:10
Speaker
I humbled that with the sexual abuse that was taking place and the physical abuse that was happening around me. It really was a terrible environment. Well, finally, I packed my bags in 2019 and I flew to Nigeria. So I've been in Nigeria ever since, but it was only until two years ago, it was two years ago that I finally started telling my story. But I was scared at first. And the reason that I was scared was because of the guilt
00:06:37
Speaker
And the shame. Now, even though I wouldn't necessarily call myself the bad guy in that circumstance, it would have been my abuser. However, there was still guilt there because I didn't leave when I could have. I didn't tell people when I could have.
00:06:50
Speaker
I had other people in my family who was experiencing the same abuse and I didn't save them, so that guilt was very real for me. Then there was the shame. What would happen if I talk about it? How would my husband feel to know that his wife has been through something like that and she told the whole world about it? How would my relatives and my siblings feel to know that I'm putting it all out there? Are they gonna hate me? Are they gonna be mad at me? And so there was that shame.
00:07:17
Speaker
I just don't want to air my dirty laundry. And we grew up being told, you don't tell your personal business. You do not share your personal business with the family. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. That guilt and that shame stopped me from telling my story. Then eventually I said, you know, enough was enough. I'm not going to let anybody else control my narrative.
00:07:40
Speaker
I didn't get the counseling and the help that I needed to heal from it, which allowed me to say that I'm going to tell my story and share it. But it was through that healing and stepping into that space that I was able to share. I could not have shared my
Healing through Writing: A Transformative Process
00:07:56
Speaker
story without healing from that, or at least partially healing. I think it's important to say that I wasn't fully healed when I started sharing because it was through sharing that I completed my healing.
00:08:08
Speaker
But it did start the process. I'm so glad that you said that, because that's exactly where I felt I needed to go next. Because I think that there are schools of thoughts and theories and people saying that you heal through writing the book. And so that's why it was a little shocking. I'm sure for people to hear you say, go get your healing so that you can write this book.
00:08:32
Speaker
But I love that you said, you know, you did the things to help you heal enough to get to the place where you could start writing the book and get it out there and then have more healing through the writing. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. There's two things that I want to say there. One is
00:08:56
Speaker
what I feel, what I'm getting the sense of is that, and I will say the same for me. I didn't write a book, but shared my story through the podcast. And one of the shame, well, part of the shame that I felt that I was carrying a lot as what you were talking about, what airing my dirty laundry is in fact airing their dirty laundry, right? And
00:09:19
Speaker
And so I was carrying my shame and their shame, right? Like I felt I was blocked by my shame and their shame. And it's important I feel to note that when you do, when you go through that healing process,
00:09:40
Speaker
you get to release what's not yours, right? You get to let go of the shame and guilt that's not yours. So that you have more room to then process and heal through what is yours, right? Like what internally and organically yours. And I think that's a really important distinction to make. But now I want to go into
00:10:11
Speaker
What was it like when you are healing through writing the book?
00:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, what does that entail? Because I really feel like knowing a few people who are in this place, they're scared of through the process unraveling, right? So talk about that a little bit if you could. I have to say, I think that's one of the biggest reasons why I love what I do.
00:10:43
Speaker
is because I get first like front row seats to a person's personal transformation. And that is so proud to be able to see somebody transform right before my eyes. And it happens in every book that we work on. So what that process looks like, it's one that you wouldn't expect. So you start writing because you think, I've healed from this, I'm ready to tell my story.
00:11:10
Speaker
Then you start to discover that, holy crap, if I'm going to tell my story, I kind of got to dig deep into the places that I tried not to explore. I'm working with an author right now, and one of his traumas is through prostitution that he had experienced through sex trafficking. He was sex trafficked.
00:11:32
Speaker
And in the process of writing his story, he, you know, he wrote it and he gave me the manuscript and I read it and I was like, bro, this is like, there's no emotion here. Like you're, you're writing it as if it were bullet points. Well, this thing happened and this thing happened and this thing happened and this thing happened. But you can't get information out of that as a person.
00:11:56
Speaker
So I told him, I said, listen, you hired me as a coach. I need you to trust me. This isn't going to be easy and it's going to be painful because you dive into things that you thought you had left alone, but you're going to have to get into it to tell it.
00:12:12
Speaker
Right? And so he did. He relived some moments that he actually felt like he didn't want to. And he went into it thinking that he was diving deep back into the pain. But that's not what happened. What happened was he was actually able to look at the situation objectively and say,
00:12:30
Speaker
Well, this is what happened. And this is what it meant for me as a human being. But now that I've healed from it, there's a different perspective. There's a different level of understanding of this situation. And now I can begin to process it. So after he wrote the first draft, he was telling me how relieved he was to just be
00:12:51
Speaker
more on the things that he kept buried from a healed perspective. And of course, he was healing as he was going. And I think for me personally, it also was powerful that I wasn't just writing a book, which is interesting, right? Because when you write a book, you write the outline and then you fill it in and all that stuff. But I ended up doing like three or four different types of writing. So as I wrote my book, I was I was writing in a journal.
00:13:20
Speaker
I wrote a letter to my dad. I wrote a letter to my mom. I wrote a letter to my husband. So there were different formats of writing that came from the same healing place. So that by the time the book was done, I'm fully healed. I'm good to go. I'm happy. I feel good. But I also was able to address these certain things with certain people in my life who needed to know that I was healing. I was going through this transformation of healing.
00:13:50
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. And what I love about what you're saying is that when you allow yourself to go through that transformation, and it's so powerful for you,
00:14:05
Speaker
It by nature is inevitably powerful for other people, for others. And oh, I so love that. Thank you for breaking it down. I think that that's beautiful. And I think that's going to unlock somebody today for sure. Because what you're explaining is through the writing process that you yourself went through and that you're taking other people through, it isn't just, okay,
00:14:34
Speaker
I got a muscle through it or I have to dig up all the trash and then put it out there. It's like you get to process it as you're expressing it and you get to do the healing.
00:14:50
Speaker
the healing elements, writing the journal, writing the letters, whatever it happens to be for you. And then you have this beautiful product at the end that has not only transformed yourself, but other people. Exactly. It's so funny. I never thought of it this way, but it really is a sexy process.
00:15:10
Speaker
Which is a weird word. It is a very sexy process. Like you start from this place of, I don't really want to tell the whole story, but I want to tell enough because people keep telling me that I have a powerful story and I should write a book and pretty much that's why I'm doing it. But I don't want to do all of it. And then I tell people like you can't write a book if you're not going to tell the whole thing.
00:15:35
Speaker
You just can't. We're going to feel as readers. We're going to feel that something is missing. We're going to know that there's a piece of information here that's not in here and is weird. And it creates this inauthentic between the author and the reader. So you definitely have to do the whole thing. But to see the way, and I love the hand motions, because that's what made me think, it is a sexy process, isn't it? To see how they kind of
00:16:01
Speaker
it's like a wave, how they transform from where they are, then they go up and they hit those peak moments where they're feeling strong, and then they come back down a little bit again because it's like, oh my gosh, what does this mean? And then they go up again, it's like, but I'm strong, and then they go down again, it's like, but what about my family? Then they're up again because they realize that there's a level of impact there. And as you ride this wave, you start to become a different person. So who you are when you started writing is not who you end up being once the book is done.
00:16:30
Speaker
It's just not. Who can you say that again? When you start writing the book, it's not who you end up being when it's done. There's so much in that. Because yeah, I what I would like to say is
00:16:49
Speaker
you get to have kind of a notion of when I'm done, you know, I'm going to be just that much more healed or I'm going to be that much more powerful in my identity and who I am and my story. I'm going to be that much more freer, right? You can kind of go that way, but there's also a sexiness of let's see who I become at the end. Yes. I think it's even bigger than that.
00:17:18
Speaker
Hey love, time for a quick break because I couldn't let you leave this podcast without making sure that you know about the playbook I've created for you. 21 ways of stopping self-sabotage the awakened way. This work of heart was downloaded and poured out for you because we and countless other women like us at all levels of success face some level of self-sabotage in our lives.
00:17:39
Speaker
The difference is that you and I know we are the architect of our lives. We know that energy is in fact the key to moving through it. We know that there are things we can do about it to prevent, weaken, and step over that self-sabotaging energy when it comes to stop you, keep you comfortable or safer than you need to be in this time of elevating. I want you to have this playbook so that you can reference it anytime self-sabotage comes up for you.
00:18:07
Speaker
and you can move through it with confidence, self-assurance, intuitively, and powerfully. And at the end of the day, this is so that you can take purpose-filled, aligned, and wealth-bringing action. It's packed with unlearning sections, awareness tools and tips, self-assessments, and action steps.
00:18:27
Speaker
This is not a free flimsy ebook to capture your email. It's a playbook that can change the trajectory of your life every time you reference it. Value your power and get this book. You can find 21 ways to stop self-sabotage, the awakened way in the show notes. There's a link there. And you can head to LatoyaZavala.com. Again, LatoyaZavala.com and get your power today.
00:18:55
Speaker
And now let's get back to the podcast. But there's also a sexiness of let's see who I become at the end. Yes, I think it's even bigger than that because
00:19:15
Speaker
From what I've experienced when a person is done writing their book, and I don't mean superficially, I mean somebody who really went in to tell that story for a purpose, for the purpose of transforming their readers and not just, oh, I got a crazy story, I'm going to share it. But for people who really gave a part of themselves to write the book,
00:19:36
Speaker
When they're finished, they truly become unstoppable, forces of nature. They really do. And it's not just, yes, you're more powerful. Yes, your story is bigger.
Becoming Unstoppable: The Impact of a Completed Healing Journey
00:19:48
Speaker
Yes, you're more impactful.
00:19:50
Speaker
but you start to see yourself differently in different areas of your life. It's not just the book and how you, in whatever situation you told in that book, you're gonna see that you look different in your businesses, you look different in your relationships, in your marriage, and maybe your relationship with your children if you have kids. Every area of your life
00:20:09
Speaker
is now going to be different because you are not the same person. You basically redefine what it means to be human for you. You're not the same human being. So you've healed completely. And so your relationships are going to start to look different. And people are going to be like, why are you talking that way? I can't believe you said I didn't expect you to respond the way that you did because you're not the same person.
00:20:39
Speaker
You are better, you are stronger, and you are a force of nature. Right. Wow. And not only, yeah. Yes. Yes. And I feel like saying it's not because you weren't always, but now you know it, right? And now you embody it. And now you move in that power, right?
00:21:09
Speaker
Yes, I think it's also, yes, you know it, you embody it, but also because you can articulate it, which most people haven't been able to do before. So now that you can put words to that thing that makes you a force of nature, it really changes how you communicate with people. Yes, yes, yes. So it really, the word that comes to me is an unlocking.
00:21:37
Speaker
It's an unlocking. Facts. That tracks. Yes. And it's like, and I think, I feel like so many people desire that unlocking so desperately. And this may be the step for them, right? They, they, they desire it so desperately, but they haven't made the step. They haven't, they haven't made the, that leap. Yeah. What feels like a leap to them.
00:22:11
Speaker
Like let's make it real, right? Let's make it practical. So for a person, an individual who desires to have that unlocking, they're probably already doing things in their relationships and in their lives that just seem a little, it seems like the right step, but again, they can't articulate it. So it seems a little weird. So I'll give you a good example. So let's see. Okay. They're married, right? And they desire to unlock this thing in themselves.
00:22:32
Speaker
I think if the desire is strong enough, then
00:22:38
Speaker
So in the conversations that they're having with their spouse, they're always in the brink of saying something, but then they don't say anything. And it's not a bad thing that they want to say, but it's just like you realize that you want to communicate deeper, but you're kind of holding yourself back. Well, that inability to be fully self expressive is going to become frustrating.
00:22:58
Speaker
So over time, you're going to be more and more frustrated with your inability to be fully self-expressive. So you'll start to see friction in different areas of your life. And so you're going to get to that point where you're just like, OK, I need the thing, whatever that thing is. And give me full self-expression on my story and give me the best way to articulate everything that I'm thinking, doing and feeling
00:23:27
Speaker
Give it to me while that's what a book is. Yes, yes. It is, it's juicy, it's sexy, it's empowering, it's all the things. All the things. It's all the things. Yes. I have, I think maybe one more question as our time is so quickly moving. Okay.
00:23:54
Speaker
Do you have space for or words for the person who feels like they want to write a book for business purposes or money purposes but they don't really feel like they have a powerful story or a deep story? What's your thoughts be for that person?
Authenticity in Business and Non-Fiction Writing
00:24:14
Speaker
That's really great because that's actually my area of expertise, business books. Okay, let's go, let's get it.
00:24:23
Speaker
You know what I love about nonfiction books or self development business development books is that the story that is powerful really it's just the journey that helps you learn the thing that you are educating people on. So for example, if your book is about financial wellness.
00:24:40
Speaker
Your powerful story is how you got to learn the things that you were teaching me in your book. How did you get to here? Because odds are I, as your reader, am going through exactly what you went through. That's why I'm reading your book. So it doesn't have to be some dramatic story. It's just, it really is a part of your life. And I like to remind people that our lives are an amalgamation of different stories.
00:25:08
Speaker
Our life is not one long story. It's a bunch of different ones. So depending on the ultimate goal of your book and what you want to write about and what you want it to do, you get to take a look at your timeline in life and just pick out a story that works.
00:25:22
Speaker
pick out a story that is directly related to whatever your topic is. And you want to make it resonate in the sense that it actually correlates. So like I said, if you are teaching people about financial wellness, pick a story about a town when you were broke.
00:25:39
Speaker
Simple. I mean, because you obviously have to have been broke at some point for you to get to where you are to be teaching people financial wellness. Now, if you've been broken in your life and you basically went to college for it, you can still talk about your college experience and how you learned these things, the mistakes that you made to get to where you are, so on and so forth. Right. Right. Okay. It makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense.
Overcoming Writing Fears and Publishing Challenges
00:26:06
Speaker
are some of the common blocks that you see? Or like, you know, some of the major blocks, major fears, common things that you kind of see over and over again? I think the biggest one is that writing is daunting. A lot of people say that.
00:26:23
Speaker
where it's like, I have a really good story or I have really good information that I want to share, but the idea of putting it into this big, full book is really daunting. A lot of people say that, and so I think that's the biggest roadblock that people come up against. The other one is that they don't understand the publishing process.
00:26:46
Speaker
so they know what happens after the book is written. So they're afraid to even start because they think that they have to do hours of research to learn how to publish a book and do it the right way and not fall into pits and stuff like that. So just that being time consuming and even mentally heavy can also stop them from taking that first step. Yeah, yeah. And you help with all that though, don't you?
00:27:13
Speaker
Absolutely. So I really love that, yes, we do the implementation, like we take care of the entire publishing process, you don't have to worry about it, but we still make sure that you are an independent author, so you maintain 100% rights and royalties. But I really also enjoy the educational aspect.
00:27:33
Speaker
I like teaching independent authors the process of self-publishing. So that when you publish your first book and you work with me and me, I teach you and then my team does it, you have all the information you need to go ahead and publish that second book without so much hand holding. Because if you need hand holding every time,
00:27:52
Speaker
you're going to go broke. It's going to be very expensive. I like teaching people the process. So it's like, you know, when you publish that second book, you only have to pay for services like editing, formatting and cover design, but you got the rest. Oh, I love that. I love that.
00:28:10
Speaker
So for those people, they might have this question. Oh, I have this story. I've got this idea. I've got the framework. I've got all the chapters. I just really don't want, I don't know if I want to do the writing. Maybe a ghost writer. Have you encountered that? And what are your thoughts about ghost writing?
00:28:29
Speaker
I have, funny enough, the people who typically ask for ghostwriting are the six, seven figure CEOs. And those are the people that I work with for ghostwriting because ghostwriting is quite expensive. They consider low quality ghostwriting to be priced at 10 to 15,000. So high quality ghostwriting could be anywhere between 25 to $45,000. So for somebody who's like,
00:28:56
Speaker
You know, I don't really want to write myself. I would say consider ghostwriting if you have the wallet to make that happen. If you don't, you could work with a writing coach.
Writing Coaching vs. Ghostwriting: Keeping Your Voice
00:29:07
Speaker
It's really important that to understand that a writing coach isn't necessarily going to write it for you, but they can help break it down into chunks and give you a writing schedule and accountability to make it really easy for you so that you're not coming out of pocket too much. And it's still written in your voice.
00:29:25
Speaker
And you really write it. Can you? Sorry, just let me just drop that in there. Don't use the app again. Don't do it. Tell them why. Tell them why. Because we know. Because we know. I'm sorry. It's true. We know. You know. Yeah, it's true. Even for some copy. Even for some copy. Even for some people's posts, I'm looking at it and I'm like, you didn't write that.
00:29:54
Speaker
facts. I will say it's really great. It's a really great tool to use to like, if you can't articulate a specific thing and that's where I am. Like my brain is always running. So sometimes I get stuck on how best to articulate something, especially in a book. So I will hop on chat GPT and I'm like, what's the best way to say X, Y, and Z?
00:30:14
Speaker
And it'll be like, here, you can use these words. You can try this. And sometimes I don't take it directly because sometimes it'll give me examples that aren't really what I'm looking for, but it's enough to get the ball rolling so that I'm like, oh, OK, don't worry. Thank you, Jackie. Don't worry. I know what I was going to say.
00:30:30
Speaker
Right, right, right. Okay. And for the people who are talking about, who are listening, and they're like, I don't even know what they're talking about. Tell them what ghostwriting is. Okay. So ghostwriting is when you hire somebody to write a book for you, right? But they do not get credit. So I always like to think of it in terms of music, because we usually know what ghostwriting is when it comes to like music.
00:30:56
Speaker
or you have the singer and then you have the songwriter. The songwriter is the person who writes the song and it gives it to the. That's basically the end of their thing. So a really good ghost writer will sit down, interview you, watch the way you speak.
00:31:16
Speaker
Pay attention to the language that you use, even the emotion that you give off as you're speaking, and then mimic that in a book to convey whatever it is that you want. So usually with a ghostwriter, you work with them to get the outline of the book done first so that you're clear on the process of the book. And then the ghostwriter will go in and start writing chapter by chapter, taking you along the way. Of course, every time a chapter is done, we'll submit it to you to review. If you like it, then we'll move on to chapter two, so on and so forth.
00:31:45
Speaker
So yeah, Ghostwriter doesn't give credit so you are still listed as the author. You will never see the Ghostwriter's name on it unless you choose to, which most people don't. And I think it's also important to note that most celebrities don't write their own books. A lot of people will feel some type of way like, oh I don't like Ghostwriter, I want to write my own book. Like Will Smith, Will Smith didn't write his book.
00:32:06
Speaker
They are ghost writers. That's what they're for. So all the story has to do is sit down. But what I love about Will Smith's book is that you can actually go to Amazon and see the ghost writer's name. I can't remember the guy's name, but he's listed there as a writer of the book. So they actually work with the celebrity one-on-one. Most celebrities don't write their own books. They were ghost writers. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. All right.
00:32:36
Speaker
My last question is kind of wrapped up, it's like two wrapped up in one. And the question is this, do you feel like as you continue to write, you know, you're writing your second and your third, is there a continued healing process? And that being said, I'd love for you to tell us about the book that you just wrote and if there was some healing process in that for you.
Personal Growth through Difficult Conversations
00:33:04
Speaker
Wow.
00:33:05
Speaker
Okay. First, is there a continuous healing process? Absolutely. And I don't think that that's in terms of book writing. I think that's just, you know, as human beings. We're always healing. There's always a continuous process. We're always going to have moments where we're triggered. You know, to be fully healed often takes a long time and a long process. And one book ain't going to do it for you.
00:33:34
Speaker
Oh, right now. Tell the people. Sorry, I don't feel like that. So then my new book, actually, it's funny because my book is not a memoir, which most people try to write when they tell their stories. So my book is a nonfiction business development book called The CEO Author.
00:34:05
Speaker
But the CEO author basically is a book that walks business owners through the process of how to write and use a book to expand their thought leadership. So I kept it really simple. Now there is one chapter in there. Chapter six, I think.
00:34:21
Speaker
that tells about my story. And the only reason I tell it is because the name of that chapter is how to tell your story. So I basically use my story as a way to teach you how to tell your story. So before I get into why and how, I do wanna explain that that's really important for you guys to remember is that every story has a point and every point has a story. So you wanna make sure that every story you tell is directly related to whatever outcome you're trying to create
00:34:50
Speaker
for your audience. So don't go tell a random story that has nothing to do with what the reader's supposed to get out of it. So the story that I told was a time where I actually called my dad after I left home in 2019, packed my bags and I came to Nigeria and I hadn't spoken to him since I left.
00:35:12
Speaker
So two years after I had finally called him on the phone, cause I was part of this program and the program said part of the healing is to actually just, you know, have conversations with people that you've been inauthentic with. And I was like, okay, fine. So I had to call up my dad. My hands were shaking. I was scared. My breath was just like, I was panting, like I couldn't catch my breath. My heart was pounding. He finally answered the phone and I basically walked him through
00:35:42
Speaker
everything that I remember. I told him, I was like, I just want you to know that I'm not lying about what happened anymore, not for you or the sake of the family. What happened is what happened and I'm dealing with it and I'm trying to heal from it, but I want you to know that I'm no longer being inauthentic about it. And so I kind of just told him,
00:36:01
Speaker
all the things that he did and how i felt about it and how it impacted me and all the things that i did and all the things that i had lied about and how i wasn't going to be lying about it anymore and all this stuff until the end of that phone call he was basically like well
00:36:17
Speaker
All this stuff that I am accusing him of, it didn't actually happen the way that I think it happened. And he thinks that I might be crazy. And I'm like, okay, if you say so. But the reason that I tell that story is because I talk about how stories can truly impact other people. But you have to know which story to tell and when to tell it. So when I told that story for the first time, I was invited on a show.
00:36:42
Speaker
I went on that show. I told that story in front of this huge audience and I was scared. But then one woman in the audience, she came up to me after the show and she was like,
00:36:54
Speaker
I'm so glad you told that story because I needed to hear it. And she told me about how she had left her abuser and stuff, but she had never spoken to him since she left. And now she feels the courage to go and talk to him and kind of complete that part of her life because it was still open. So it was just really great. So that was the impact that my story had on her. So to talk about the healing that I got from when I put that chapter into my book,
00:37:21
Speaker
It was hard because my husband is a Nigerian man. And so they are very keen. I don't know. Okay, let me not stereotype. But my husband is very much the type of person that's like, private life is private life, you know? Right. No, it's cultural. It's very cultural. Cultural. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Very concerned that he would feel some type of way that I put it into the book. So it's where it's chapter four. So I,
00:37:49
Speaker
put chapter four up on my phone, of course, before we print the book. And I'm like, please read this. And I didn't say anything. So after he read it, he just looked at me. And I was like, what do you think? And he was like, I'm proud of you. And I was like, oh my gosh. And he was like, yeah, you did it. And I was like, you don't feel some type of way that this is about to be public? And he was like, no, it's your story. You will have the freedom to tell it however you want to. And I was like, that's why you my man. That's right.
00:38:19
Speaker
Can I just plug in there right? That's when you're aligned, right? That's when you marry someone in alignment and the energy is connected and you're supported and you're uplifted and you deserve that. Okay. I just want to just plug that in real quick. That's fact. So, um, yeah, so that was really powerful for me. And then I felt, I, I felt like I needed to also get permission from my mom. Um, not necessarily permission, but like I wanted her to know that I was putting it in the book.
00:38:48
Speaker
And I never mention anything about my mom. I don't mention anything about my siblings. It's just that phone conversation with my dad. That's all I talk about. But I still wanted her to know. And when she told me that it was OK and she had my back, that really was the thing that needed this cycle of healing for me.
00:39:09
Speaker
So it all, you know, I wouldn't say that the book healed me because there's all these other elements like the support system, the counseling, the programs that I was in that added to that. But once I put it in the book and then I got confirmation from my husband, I got confirmation from my mom and I prayed about it too. That was really all I needed to really bring it full circle and complete my healing. So by the time I wrote the book and I later found out that my dad actually read it,
00:39:38
Speaker
Wow. I knew about it. No, I don't know if he read it. He knew about the book. And for a moment, I had this anxiety, like, what happens if he reads it and he gets to that chapter? But then, like, five minutes later, that anxiety was gone, and I realized, no. The whole point of me putting it in the book was I had a point to tell you that story, which was to help my reader. So I'm not going to water it down because I'm afraid of how somebody else will react to it.
00:40:04
Speaker
It really completed my healing. Wow. So powerful.
Support on the Personal Story Journey
00:40:09
Speaker
That is so, so powerful. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you for, and I just know that I know that I know that somebody listening is unlocked by that and they're going to be ready to write their book. Um, yes, I just know that I know that I know that in my heart. So thank you so much for sharing that. Now for that person who is like, I think I'm ready to write my book.
00:40:32
Speaker
And I think that she's the person to help me. I would just love you to just look in the camera and what would be your final, what would be your message to that person? And then how would you like them to find you? If you are that person and you feel like wild person, that was a lot. Wild Latoya, that was a whole lot, but I'm ready. I would just say to you, take an inhale.
00:41:02
Speaker
And exhale. And know that if you feel like you're ready, that means you're ready. And it's okay. But before you begin, you gotta do some research about yourself, about who you're gonna write to and why you're writing that book for them. Because if you don't know that before you start writing, the writing won't come out right and you're not gonna get the healing that you think you're gonna get. So,
00:41:31
Speaker
Before you reach out to me and say that you're going to work with me, I will say, please read a copy of the CEO author. You can find it on Amazon. Just Google it, the CEO author. Read it. It's a short read. You can read it in an evening. But the reason I want you to read that is because it's really going to put you in the driver's seat to find out three things. Number one, who you are. Number two, what is your worth? And number three, what you want to be remembered for.
00:42:00
Speaker
If you answer those three things, you'll be able to journey into how to tell your story, why you should tell your story, and then of course how to write the book. Then when you're done reading, then you can reach out to me, just Google my name, Porsche, spelled like the car, Mystique, M-Y-S-T-I-C-Q-U-E, steal. Or if you're watching this on LinkedIn and Facebook, Latoya actually follows me. So just go to Latoya's page, right? Look at her list of followers and then search my name.
00:42:29
Speaker
There you go. Fantastic. And for those who will be listening at a later point in the audio podcast, the link to her will be in the show notes and it will be awesome and fantastic. Yes. Portia, thank you.
00:42:49
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. As everyone's is, I know your time is valuable and non-recyclable. So thank you for being here, for sharing your gift, your juiciness, the deliciousness. He says, thank you, so very powerful. Yeah. And then another, Helen says,
00:43:12
Speaker
get ready to do your healing from your generational trauma. So just beautiful. And I know that people have truly started some unlocking today with you. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I look forward. Yes. Look forward to having you again. Facts. Everyone.
00:43:34
Speaker
Go get the book, go get the CEO author, okay? Go and get that book. Let me let you go, Portia. One of my really good friends, she's like, I'm buying it. She covered that last week even before this live. So yeah, it's an important book you all. It's a really important book.
00:43:52
Speaker
I'm just gonna say that. Okay. Everybody, wonderful. She'll be back. I believe that. She'll be back. Thank you so much for spending your time with us. If this has been important to you, if this has been meaningful to you, if this has been powerful for you, then share the wealth, right? And let us elevate together. Again, share the wealth and let us elevate together. I'm sending you so much love and power always. And see you next time.
00:44:21
Speaker
Listen, this is not just for you to listen to. This is for you to take action, change the trajectory of your life and live in your power. If you're liking what's happening here, hit that subscribe button so you do not ever miss a powerful episode and definitely share it with a sister who wants to be freed and powered up because don't we all?
00:44:44
Speaker
If you are not yet living in your power, if you are not yet loving yourself completely and deeply, trusting yourself again, knowing yourself on that deeper level, believing in yourself, being your most unapologetic and authentic self, or maybe you're really looking for rebalancing and shifting your energy, head on over to LatoyaZavala.com. That's LatoyaZavala.com.
00:45:11
Speaker
You don't have to wait until you are ready to unlock your next level. You are ready to elevate now.