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Fear of Success: Will You Leave Your Partner Behind?
7 Plays6 months ago
"I know that I haven't taken steps into my purpose because I'm afraid of what will happen if I leave him behind"
That's what I have heard over and over from my clients. So let's nip this in the bud today, right now.
Where does the fear of success really come from? Are you really leaving your partner behind when you go live in your purpose? What's keeping you self-sabotaging? Will you destroy your relationship?
Let's dive into this JUICY episode. See you indside!
For more juiciness drop by my Website: https://www.latoyazavala.com
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Transcript
Recognizing and Questioning Stagnant Energy
00:00:01
Speaker
Oh man, I know that you know that there's bigness inside of you. I know that you know that there's light that gets to expand in its infinity form. I know that you know this. I know that you know that there's stagnant energy inside of you. And I want to ask you now, what causes you to say that's okay?
00:00:28
Speaker
It's okay for the energy to stay stagnant inside of me. It's okay for that bigness to stay small inside of me. What causes you to say that's okay?
Introduction to 'Freed and Powered Up' Podcast
00:00:49
Speaker
Welcome to Freed and Powered Up. Here is where conscious female leaders can really start to break free from the self-sabotage, the fears, the triggers, and limiting behaviors and beliefs that keep us from being our highest and best selves. Every episode, I'm going to reconnect you to your inner power. I'm your host and your sister, Latoya Zavala. Let's go.
Overcoming Fear of Progress and Loss
00:01:20
Speaker
Today we're talking about overcoming the fear of leaving them behind. This is a fear that if you move forward, if you make the decisions that you're being called to make, if you
00:01:35
Speaker
if you take the moves, take the risks that you feel are in alignment with where you're supposed to be right now. If you decide to sell the house or buy the house, or you decide to up level your business, or you decide to start a new business, or you decide to take the promotion that's coming to you, that if you make the moves that your soul is calling you to make,
00:02:03
Speaker
And I know if you're listening right now, you felt that in your soul because I felt that in my body right now. There are moves right now that your soul is calling you to me.
00:02:16
Speaker
And you're not making them because you're afraid of leaving somebody behind, whether that is your, your partner, your husband, your, you know, whatever your boo, right? Or, um, for some of you, it's your adult children. And I know that's a sensitive topic and I know it's a real one and I know it's a real one. Um,
00:02:42
Speaker
This very particular theme has come up time and time again with various clients and those who would be clients. This specific theme
00:02:57
Speaker
I'm afraid that I'm going to leave them behind. We're going to talk about what those fears actually are. Where are they actually coming from? And what's really going on? What's really going on in your heart, in your psyche, in your energy body?
00:03:15
Speaker
And how do you move through that? So the whys, why are you feeling like if you make the moves that your soul is calling you to make, if you move forward in the way that your soul is now calling you to move forward, if you step into your greatness, if you step into your power, if you step into your purpose, if you step into your calling,
00:03:37
Speaker
that you can't do that because if you do that, you're going to leave somebody behind, someone who loves you, someone who's supported you, someone who's provided for you, someone who protects you, someone who is in love not only with you, but the idea of you, right? And someone who is not moving
00:03:59
Speaker
in the way that your soul is calling you
Breaking Free from Cultural Conditioning
00:04:01
Speaker
to move. So why is it that we feel like we're gonna leave them behind? And let me just spoiler alert, right? There is no such thing as leaving them behind, right? That is a construct that we've created. So now let's talk about this though, right? You were told, you and I were told as women that we're supposed to be behind.
00:04:26
Speaker
Right. And I'm not saying that men don't feel this idea too, but I want to talk to my women right now, my women who are in leadership, my women who are CEOs, my women who are doing big things and starting their businesses and in transition into business or in transition into big corporate. Right. And you're, you're getting ready to do big things. I want you to know that in your subconscious is the idea that you are supposed to be behind. Why? Because over millennia and, and,
00:04:55
Speaker
And our history didn't start this way in all cultures.
00:05:00
Speaker
Let me make that clear. But in many cultures, the idea, the concept, the belief is that women are supposed to be behind. You're supposed to be left behind in the house, doing the cooking, doing the cleaning, doing the taking care of the house while the man goes ahead and builds his career. You're supposed to be left behind. That is your place in society. This is the idea, the belief that's out there.
00:05:29
Speaker
that we have been indoctrinated with for centuries upon centuries upon centuries. And not only were you supposed to be left behind to take care of the home and take care of the children, but in some cultures and in some ideas, you're literally supposed to look like you're behind. When you see certain things happening on the news, you're gonna see the man, you're gonna see the woman standing behind. When they're walking, the woman's supposed to walk behind.
00:05:58
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And so in various different cultures and mindsets and doctrines, you as a woman were supposed to be left behind.
00:06:08
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So of course now that it's time for you to move forward, of course now that your soul is like, we're graduating from that. We're elevating from that. We are energetically moving from that, right? Energetically in the collective consciousness as the earth is trying to up level global society, your soul, your soul.
00:06:33
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is calling you to move forward, to graduate, right? And so of course now, because your soul is like, we get to move forward from that. We get to graduate, we get to uplift, right?
Friction with Societal Expectations
00:06:45
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We get to be the forerunners of the change in the collective mindset. And so of course, if you're the forerunner, of course, right? You're going to feel the friction
00:06:58
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of moving up, the friction of moving forward. And that friction is against the indoctrination that we have had for millennia. I remember when my son was born, my first son was born, and you know, I remember my husband's never met, just because you had a child doesn't mean that you don't get to fulfill your purpose. And that was so powerful for me.
00:07:23
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The friction came when the wife of my mentor came to visit and she said to me, isn't having a child enough? Isn't that enough for you?
00:07:37
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Right? And so here again, you know, the energy of pulling me back, right? Pulling me back. Hey, hey, don't graduate. Don't elevate. Don't go forward. Come back into what's comfortable. And that's going to lead me into section number two, right? But I wanted for that to be clear. Know that you are feeling the pullback. You are feeling the friction. You're feeling the
00:08:02
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the being held back by a doctrine, by a belief, by a collective conscious agreement, if you will, or understanding that you are supposed to be left behind. Also know that we're moving from that collective thought. Globally, we're moving from that survival mentality into an elevation of the power of who we are energetically, right?
00:08:30
Speaker
We're moving dimensionally into a totally different mindset and construct. And that's why you're feeling the pull of greatness, the pull of forwardness, the pull of more, the pull of bigger, the pull of expansion. You are feeling that because you are called to be a front runner. And so now, again, leading me to number two, know this.
00:08:57
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The flesh will always choose comfort over purpose, right? This flesh will always choose comfort over purpose, right?
Comfort vs. Greater Purpose
00:09:13
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So what is comfort? Comfort is that question that was posed to me by my mentors. Why? Isn't this good enough? Isn't the money that you're making good enough? Isn't the office that you're in good enough?
00:09:27
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Isn't the money that's in your bank account good enough? Isn't the relationship that you're in good enough? Isn't the partner that you have good enough? Let me speak to somebody's heart right now because somebody's going to be watching this, however you come to this and you're thinking, oh damn, she's talking to me, right? Some of you are in relationships and you feel stuck.
00:09:54
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because this person is the good. This person is, you know, the good provider, the good caretaker. This person is loyal. This person doesn't cheat. This person is, you know, the box of everything that is supposed to be and yet you still, you don't feel the spark and yet you don't feel the alignment and yet you don't feel the joy and yet you don't feel the
00:10:19
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the deeper love that you desire and deserve to feel, by the way. And some of you, just going to speak to you, some of you got into that relationship knowing that that wasn't there. And now you're feeling the pull for more, for truth. You're feeling the pull for truth for your heart.
00:10:42
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And truth for your sacral chakra, which all about that, the sensual energy, the relationship, the juiciness that you get to have in the relationship.
00:10:54
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Right? So, so, so there's this, there's this surrounding, right? Belief, doctrine, whatever you want to call it of, isn't there a good enough? And aren't you in a good enough? And it's okay to settle. We're comfortable. We're not at risk. We're, we're safe. Whoo. That's a big word. We're safe. And I actually just want to let that sit for a minute.
00:11:24
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We're safe. And the flesh that is so cozy in that statement, we're safe, wants to stay there. It wants to stay warm. It wants to stay at rest. It wants to stay, you know, feeling good.
00:11:54
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So what's the problem with that? The problem with that is that when you're called to greatness, when you're called to more, when you're called to bigger, when you're called to expansion, there is going to be a friction as you lift off. And it's not going to feel comfortable. Being more visible may not feel comfortable.
00:12:19
Speaker
Going out and making more contacts may not feel comfortable. Going out and getting that mortgage loan may not feel comfortable. Going out and making that bigger
Soul's Desire for Expansion
00:12:28
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investment may not feel comfortable. Going ahead and getting and scheduling that Reiki session with me because it's your first time doing energy work may not feel comfortable, right? So, you know, taking, whoo!
00:12:42
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taking the up level that the universe has provided you, that divine is putting in your lap, right? Whether that be the
00:12:53
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the promotion, right? You're scaling upwards or the partnership or the collaboration, right? And it may not feel comfortable, but your soul is calling you to bigger and more expansive and greater. And so the flesh is like, no, no, let's stay comfortable. Let's stay comfortable. But your soul
00:13:17
Speaker
your energy right your real self your higher self is like we're not here to stay comfortable we're here to expand we're not here to stay safe and what i what i mean by that is to stay safe as far as you um elevating in your purpose now physically safe we want you to be safe we all want you to be in obviously harmful situations right but we're talking
00:13:45
Speaker
about playing it safe, as opposed to playing it big, which is what your soul wants to do. This is why you would be encountering a video like this anyway. So because the flesh wants to stay safe and comfortable
00:14:04
Speaker
The flesh may then create this, or step back into this belief, well, I don't want to leave them behind. I'd rather stay safe and comfortable in the situation that we're in, right? We've created some symbiotic relationships, we're serving each other, and we don't want to rock the boat. So the flesh wants to stay safe and comfortable in this environment. And we have projected, we don't even know
00:14:30
Speaker
how the other person will feel, but we have projected that they will feel left behind. We have projected that they will not make moves of their own. We have projected that their path is so intertwined with ours that if we move forward, they will be left behind, which is a fallacy, by the way. So we've projected those fears into the vortex. We've projected those fears into our own energetic atmosphere, and we stay small.
00:15:02
Speaker
Right? So the fear, the fear of playing it big as you're supposed, I don't know if you like the word supposed to, but playing it big as you're called to, that fear has caused us to retreat into the comfort, right? And then casting the fear as if, as in, I'm afraid to leave them behind. But isn't it time to live in your purpose?
00:15:32
Speaker
Isn't it time to step into your calling? Isn't it time to step into your bigness? Oh man, I know that you know that there's bigness inside of you. I know that you know that there's light that gets to expand in its infinity form. I know that you know this. I know that you know that there's stagnant energy inside of you.
00:15:58
Speaker
And I wanna ask you now, what causes you to say, that's okay? It's okay for the energy to stay stagnant inside of me. It's okay for that bigness to stay small inside of me. What causes you to say, that's okay? And part of it is because you really believe that if you move forward, you're gonna leave this person behind.
00:16:26
Speaker
So let me tackle that for one moment.
00:16:32
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There are three things that's going
Awareness and Life Purpose Alignment
00:16:34
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to help you move forward, right? That's going to help you move beyond that, right? And the first is talking about awareness, awareness of what your purpose actually is. So when I do the Vedic birth chart readings, I show you your soul path, and then I show you your life purpose. And your life purpose is here to support your soul path. What is your soul here to learn from, to grow out of, to graduate in, right? To really experience the fullness of.
00:17:02
Speaker
Whatever that is for your soul, your life purpose is here to support that. If you're wanting to see your Vedic birth chart, I would love to show you where your power and where your stronger energies are combining. I would love to do that. Just send me a DM. Let me know you want to see your birth chart. We'll get that scheduled for you. The first is awareness. Because if you're still
00:17:33
Speaker
vacillating, if you're still between, I'm not quite sure what my soul path is, I'm not quite sure what my soul is here to do, and you're still like, it could be this, it could be that, or I want it to be this, but it really is this, or I think it's that, or you're still taking some of these surveys and things that are trying to show you, like if you're still doing those things and you're still vacillating, you're still not convinced, then of course you're gonna have the tendency to retreat into
00:18:02
Speaker
I'll just stay comfortable. It's okay to stay where I am, because you don't know what you're here, what your soul is here to accomplish and do. But when you're aware, it opens a portal, it opens a path, it opens
00:18:18
Speaker
a motivation and an inspiration that's not going to be closed again. It's always going to be in your subconscious. It's always going to be in the back of your mind. It's always going to be running, right? And so once you become aware, you can't become unaware. So now it starts with the awareness of what your soul is here to accomplish.
00:18:39
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And if you don't know, you owe it to yourself to contact me. You owe it to yourself to schedule a session and be without doubt as to what that is.
00:18:51
Speaker
Hey love, time for a quick break because I couldn't let you leave this podcast without making sure that you know about the playbook I've created for you. 21 ways of stopping self-sabotage the awakened way. This work of heart was downloaded and poured out for you because we and countless other women like us at all levels of success face some level of self-sabotage in our lives.
00:19:13
Speaker
The difference is that you and I know we are the architect of our lives. We know that energy is in fact the key to moving through it. We know that there are things we can do about it to prevent weaken and step over that self-sabotaging energy when it comes to stop you, keep you comfortable or safer than you need to be in this time of elevating. I want you to have this playbook so that you can reference it anytime self-sabotage comes up for you.
00:19:40
Speaker
and you can move through it with confidence, self-assurance, intuitively, and powerfully. And at the end of the day, this is so that you can take purpose-filled, aligned, and wealth-bringing action. It's packed with unlearning sections, awareness tools and tips, self-assessments, and action steps.
00:20:00
Speaker
This is not a free flimsy ebook to capture your email. It's a playbook that can change the trajectory of your life every time you reference it. Value your power and get this book.
Playbook on Stopping Self-Sabotage
00:20:13
Speaker
You can find 21 ways to stop self-sabotage, the awakened way in the show notes. There's a link there. And you can head to LatoyaZavala.com. Again, LatoyaZavala.com and get your power today.
00:20:28
Speaker
And now let's get back to the podcast. All right, so once you become aware, then it's the conviction, right?
00:20:41
Speaker
You become aware, and then you get to see how your life is aligning. You get to see what the energies are aligning to support you in. You get to see all the steps in your life that have been trying to give you viewpoints as to who you are and what you came to this earth.
00:21:02
Speaker
to accomplish and so now you walk you start walking in conviction right and conviction is the engine right conviction is like i know that i know that i know that i know conviction is that engine that's going to keep you revving even when you feel down even when you feel like you don't feel like doing it even when you feel like i might be leaving some people behind conviction is going to be the one to remind you and continue to put that soul path and that life purpose before you
00:21:32
Speaker
and give you that energetic feeling of, this is what you're here to accomplish. Don't you leave this earth without accomplishing what you came here to accomplish. That's conviction. So you move from awareness into conviction, and once those two are working in your life,
00:21:50
Speaker
you're going to move into making some decisions. And that's where the coaching comes in, right? Because it's not like, Oh, today I had my session. I become aware tomorrow convictions and then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right. Although there are some people who would have you thinking that. And maybe for some people it does work that way. But when you become aware,
00:22:11
Speaker
And then you start moving in your convictions. There are still some energetic things that need to be cleared. You're going to have some cord cutting that needs to happen. You're going to have some relationships that need to be released. And once you burn some of those bridges down, you're going to need some time for mourning because we are in the flesh and we are human beings. And we're here to experience those. See, this is the piece that's missing. I know a lot of us want to quantum leap.
00:22:38
Speaker
But we are here to have a portion of this human experience. We're here to have the human experience. So that's why it's so important when I'm going through the Phoenix pathway of healing, right? Yes, you got to burn some shit down. And the burning leaves ashes. You owe it to yourself to take the time to mourn.
00:23:08
Speaker
what was, to mourn what's no longer, to mourn the connections that are now unconnected. This is an energetic healing that the Phoenix regenerates itself from. It's a necessary step in the process.
00:23:28
Speaker
Right? So we're going to move from awareness into conviction. And then once we're moving in the convictions, now we're going to start making some decisions. And that's why I truly believe the support system behind that whole process is important because the flesh wants to retreat back into comfort. Nobody wants to be, you know, you don't choose to go into mourning. You don't choose to go into friction of burning shit down. Right? And so, so the support,
00:23:56
Speaker
the love, the understanding, the acceptance, the space for you to have the moment of the ashes, to heal the moment of the ashes, right? To be in your body and in your energy body and know what needs to be healed and what needs to be cleared, to be balanced, what needs to be activated again.
00:24:27
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Right? And so having that support, having that healing, having, you know, that regeneration is important.
Following Your Soul Path
00:24:40
Speaker
And once you're having those, those healings and those regenerations, then you're going to understand, and this is my, this leads to me to point three, right? There is no behind. Right? This is a concept of hierarchy.
00:24:58
Speaker
We're all here to move through our soul path. And after doing these birth chart readings and seeing how very beautiful everyone's individual path is, it's amazingly beautiful. But how do you know that if you stay stagnant or if you don't give yourself the opportunity to see your birth path, right? Your soul path.
00:25:27
Speaker
Here's what I want you to hear and understand. And this is something that I'm helping my clients through. The mindset shift. We believe that if we move forward and this person is not completely in alignment, that we're going to leave them behind. But we're negating the fact that they have their own soul path and they get to make their own decisions according to their own life purpose.
00:25:58
Speaker
You are not their life purpose. Whoo. Let me say, let me say that. Whoo. You are not their life purpose. And I know that might hurt some people. Why? It means because we may hurt because we need to do some healing, probably in the root chakra.
00:26:25
Speaker
healing in that mother archetype energy. We probably need to do some healing in the heart chakra. There's an imbalance between that unconditional love for others and unconditional love for self. Right? Maybe the sacral chakra, we need to do some healing around the victim archetype energy and the projection around that. But you,
00:26:53
Speaker
are not someone's life purpose. You may have been a part of their journey. You may be a part of their journey. You may be a part of that path. You may be a part of what they were here to grow and experience and enjoy. And you may still be.
00:27:13
Speaker
But if you don't allow yourself to walk your soul path and you don't allow yourself to walk in your life purpose and you stay behind what you think is behind and you stay stagnant, then what you're in effect doing is standing in the way of their soul path and their life purpose. So there's, there's some work to be done. There's some healing to be done. There's some energy clearing to happen.
00:27:43
Speaker
You know, and there's so much around this, right? If anybody tells you, oh, this is the reason why you're people pleasing or this is the reason, no, no, it's really complex. And you deserve to go into an energy session. You deserve to give yourself that space to see what is the complexity for you. Because for some of us, right? It's the imbalance that I was just talking about.
00:28:11
Speaker
And for some of us, there's some trauma bonding. For some of us, there's the Messiah complex, right? You've got to save the world, right? And there may be quite a few things going on. But what I know is this. Everyone has a soul path and everyone has a life purpose. And you have yours.
00:28:42
Speaker
If you're staying stagnant, because you believe that if you move forward, you're gonna leave them behind, then you're still living in an illusion of power, of control, excuse me. You're still living in an illusion of control, that you have control over their life purpose, that you have control over their achievement in their soul path. And you don't.
00:29:09
Speaker
Now, what is your thought with that mindset shift? That if you choose to stay stagnant in your life purpose, you could very well in effect be in the way, standing in the way of other people achieving and accomplishing their life path and their soul path and their life purpose, right? It's like you decided to stand still
00:29:34
Speaker
And the other person is supposed to be moving along the path, but you're standing still because you don't want to leave them behind. And in fact, now they can't continue going because you're standing still and therefore you're standing in the way. It is for you that you are awakened, that you are in the awareness. It is for you to move forward. Now I need to say that again. It is for you to move forward.
00:30:02
Speaker
So
Personal Sessions with Latoya Zavala
00:30:03
Speaker
all that being said, I would love to hear from you. Send me a message, uh, with your thoughts, how you're feeling. Um, you know, what all, what all is coming up for you. DM me if you're like Latoya, I don't, what are you talking about? The soul path. I want to know more. Send me a message. I, I would love to, um, schedule in for your, for your life path sync, um, and show you.
00:30:28
Speaker
show you your soul path, show you how your life purpose and all energies are aligning for you to accomplish what your soul has come here to accomplish. Okay. Yeah. And maybe there's some energy clearing and balancing that you need to happen. Message me if you're like, okay, I need this energy clearing session. I would love to provide that for you. So send me a message. And, um,
00:30:52
Speaker
Yeah, I know I haven't been up here for a minute now for a minute. I haven't been up here for a month because I needed to do my own clearing and my own energy balancing, right? I needed to take the time to take care of myself. And in working with clients, this was a resounding repeating message. And so I knew that this was a message that needed to come out today. And so I leave you with that.
00:31:22
Speaker
Listen, this is not just for you to listen to. This is for you to take action, change the trajectory of your life and live in your power. If you're liking what's happening here, hit that subscribe button so you do not ever miss a powerful episode and definitely share it with a sister who wants to be freed and powered up because don't we all?
00:31:44
Speaker
If you are not yet living in your power, if you are not yet loving yourself completely and deeply, trusting yourself again, knowing yourself on that deeper level, believing in yourself, being your most unapologetic and authentic self, or maybe you're really looking for rebalancing and shifting your energy, head on over to LatoyaZavala.com. That's LatoyaZavala.com.
00:32:12
Speaker
You don't have to wait until you are ready to unlock your next level. You are ready to elevate now.