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EP. 52 Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011)
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Transcript
Introduction to Episode 52
00:00:00
Speaker
That is shtick like that, dude. Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
That's how I identify the Doteca e-drunk.
00:00:27
Speaker
a
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
00:00:38
Speaker
Scrubbing the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
00:00:44
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:48
Speaker
Two girls, one cup?
Successful Film Franchises Discussion
00:00:50
Speaker
No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
00:00:55
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 52 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast, aka the Hemorrhoid Homies, doing the Hemorrhoid Hoedown. Damn straight. A.K.A. the Poetown Boys.
00:01:06
Speaker
My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. And today we are, we've reached the finale. It's the end, the final year at Hogwarts. Yeah, it's kind of sad. Yeah, we I mean, we kind of, over the past few weeks, we've we've knocked them all out.
00:01:24
Speaker
sad to see him go. Yeah, I mean, this is, well we'll talk about it more, but this is like one of the most consistently good franchises out there to watch.
00:01:36
Speaker
Yeah, you find another one and let us know, because it's hard to find, you know? And I'll say that, but I'm talking about franchises that have like eight films.
00:01:47
Speaker
like Yeah. Not some John that's like three or four, like something that spans over several years.
Social Media Plugs and Listener Interaction
00:01:54
Speaker
Like Mission Impossible. Yeah, and even some of those movies are bad.
00:01:58
Speaker
Mission Impossible 2 is like a half-star movie.
00:02:03
Speaker
I'm being serious. It's bad. crazy. It's really bad. But then once you get to 3 and then you keep going, they're like all at least 3.5 to 4.5 star movies. don't know if I gave any of 5 star. don't remember.
00:02:15
Speaker
Fast and Furious, that's just ass. There's actually a couple good ones. I've seen up to 9. I think I've seen through 8. I've seen 1, 2. I use those digits you gave me.
00:02:26
Speaker
There you go. I like one and two. They're fun. remember two. Tokyo. Tokyo Drift is two? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Oh, I think Tokyo Drift three.
00:02:37
Speaker
Is it? Too fast, too furious. Oh, fuck. You're right. Okay, then I've seen one, two, and three. Tokyo Drift basura. Really bad. Do you want to do a... Plug it in, plug it in.
00:02:51
Speaker
So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com. Let us know what next big franchise would you like us to review?
00:03:07
Speaker
Should we tell what we're thinking about? Yeah. Let's finish the plug first. Okay. Follow us on Tik TOK. Follow us on letterboxd and send us a voicemail 508, eight fist us.
00:03:22
Speaker
508.8 dip tip. All the links will be in the description. All that shit in the description, baby. Fucking click it all. Yeah, it takes you right there. It's like magic.
00:03:33
Speaker
Yeah. Wow.
Upcoming Movie Reviews and Releases
00:03:34
Speaker
The internet. so ah The top two contenders, I would say, are Pirates of the Caribbean. Caribbean. It's Caribbean.
00:03:44
Speaker
ah And Hunger Games, I would say. But I would say that I don't know when Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 2 is coming out. I would say that Mission Impossible would all be fun to do.
00:03:56
Speaker
Yeah, I've seen ah Zippo of those. The first two, it's like, do i really want to watch all these? And then you keep going and it's like, oh, I do want to watch all of these. yeah Also, it's Tom Cruise. You're like, ugh. Yeah, I'm not the big Tom Cruise guy. Neither am I. Top Gun's fine, I guess.
00:04:16
Speaker
Overrated. I haven't seen Top Gun. Either of them. I haven't seen the second one. You know what we did that I was thinking of in the shower today that we just didn't do for the rest of the Harry Potter episodes?
00:04:28
Speaker
Uh, the first, the very first episode, I said that I was going to read off the box office numbers and then we just proceed to not do that for the following six weeks. Um, so I have them
Harry Potter Box Office and Characters
00:04:40
Speaker
all here.
00:04:40
Speaker
I'm just going to read them all to you. Let's get it. Uh, so now you guys know, um, I read Sorcerer's Stone in the first episode. So Chamber secrets two hundred and sixty one million almost two or sixty two prisoner of million, Half-Blood Prince, $301 million.
00:04:55
Speaker
Deathly Hallows Part 1, $295 million. Deathly Part 2, $381 million. Everybody went the fucking ending. half blooddprints three hundred and one million os part one two hundred and ninety five million and deathy hows part two three hundred and eighty one million dollars everybody went to see the fucking ending We should also mention we're going to a Harry Potter, our final ranking of the franchise. Not final. It's going to probably change on the and the next rewatch, I'd imagine. Sure.
00:05:21
Speaker
ah We'll do a ranking. ah We'll go over the few new members of the cast. Few new. Few new. Who knew? Like that Oreo that was like healthy or whatever. Remember those?
00:05:32
Speaker
Who knew Yeah. What the fuck is this guy's name? ah Siren? Siren Hines?
00:05:43
Speaker
Right. Cut
00:05:48
Speaker
that. He plays... Yeah, he's he's relevant. He plays Aberforth Dumbledore. Okay. Do we... Do we give Dumbledore the button? The... Oh, his older brother? Yeah, sure.
00:06:00
Speaker
Or is it his younger brother? He doesn't really sound... He looks younger. doesn't really sound like that, but... um So he's that. You have Callie McDonald, who is Helena Ravenclaw. I think she can get the fuck. but She can get the button. Can't fuck her because she's a ghost, but and she can get it.
00:06:16
Speaker
like could fuck try.
00:06:20
Speaker
um Hello, button. All right.
00:06:27
Speaker
And then we got one more person I know. Her name H-E-B-E. Hebe. Hebe, Hebe, Hebe, Hebe. Hebe, Hebe. I'm sorry to you, Hebe.
00:06:44
Speaker
That sounds like someone down to you. Hebe. Hebe.
00:06:50
Speaker
hey head a Beardsall, she's the she's ah the the sister. She's Ariana Dumbledore. She has no lines.
00:07:01
Speaker
What her name's just like Heb? Heb or like H-E-B, like the big supermarket in Texas. Yeah. It's a nice joint. I'm not even going fucking lie. Shout out them because I just had chips sent to me from there.
00:07:17
Speaker
Oh, shout out Lexus. Shout out Alexis. Thank you for those chips. I don't know if you listen to this, but she got a like the head branded ah chips. ah Mesquite barbecue. Those are probably the best mesquite barbecue chips I've ever had.
00:07:31
Speaker
And they were spicy, spicy bread and butter dill pickle chips, like actual potato chips. It's a mouthful. ah No one liked them except for me. So more for me. Fuck everybody else.
00:07:46
Speaker
Does no one include Mark? Yeah, Mark and Autumn. They didn't like it. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck Mark. Fuck a piece of shit. And your sinus infection. Stop getting fucking sinuses infections. I'm so fucking tired of you coming over to my house and being like... Like, Jesus Christ.
00:08:01
Speaker
ah Okay. Yeah. yeah Yeah, Mark. ah Knock it off, Mark. Stop it. Stop it, Mark. I'm fucking sick of it. Um...
Reflecting on Deathly Hallows Part 2
00:08:13
Speaker
I'll say this. This re rewatch of Deathly Owls Part 2 really got the adrenaline going in my fucking system, man. Fucking schmacking, huh? Dude, you texted me early in the week because we did not watch this anywhere near close each other that this movie fucking rips. And I don't know a better sentence to use than this movie fucking rips because it does. And it's two hours and 15 minutes.
00:08:35
Speaker
And it whole just from be beginning end, rip city. Yeah, and it's not it goes by like like a breeze. So fast. It's so well-paced. ah We also should say this is a post-9-11 movie. It came out in 2011.
00:08:50
Speaker
Okay, got that out of the way. These might all have been. I think Sorcerer's Stone was probably like November or some shit.
00:08:58
Speaker
No, I know. It's just the running bit that we've been seeing. Oh, yeah. The entire Harry Potter franchise is a post-9-11 franchise. Also, check out my my fucking jaw. That's so fucking hot, dude. Yeah, he's just Snape standing there. Oh, my God. Fucking man.
00:09:13
Speaker
but We'll get into that. I have i have some questions. um But we'll get into the scene by scene.
00:09:21
Speaker
And the movie picks up right where part one left off. Quite literally. Quite literally. You see Voldemort. He's still taking the Elder Wand out of Dumbledore's grave.
00:09:32
Speaker
Man's taking a minute to get that. Man took about a couple years to took about a minute to get that. Ray Fiennes, what are you doing? No, shout out Ray Fiennes. Shout out. ah We see Snape in the picture that I literally just showed you. Actually, it's kind of funny.
00:09:49
Speaker
He's standing looking out of Hogwarts and it's just surrounded by Dementors. um And students are being escorted through the school, almost like in a military fashion, they're like all in line.
00:10:04
Speaker
The curtain saga continues. Fucking bought curtains and they're not even working. yeah I know. I, yeah. It's bright out today. Uh, We then get the title card and we cut to where ah Harry, Ron, Hermione and Luna are or they buried Dobby who lived.
00:10:23
Speaker
Here lies Dobby, a free elf. Yeah. all right yeah Again, Dobby. Shout out to you. Even though you're dead. Fuck slavery, too.
Dobby's Role and Commentary on Slavery
00:10:32
Speaker
Yeah. Fuck slavery. Fuck slavery.
00:10:34
Speaker
That's terrible. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't ever. Yeah.
00:10:40
Speaker
Harry is still looking at... I don't know... He's a free elf. He is a free elf. He died a free elf. You get your freedom, then you die.
00:10:51
Speaker
ah Harry's looking in this mirror shard, which I guess they don't explain to them until... Until you find out. Right. Okay. Explain it. but Um... So Ron, Hermione, Luna, and Harry are in this house.
00:11:06
Speaker
And I guess it's Bill Weasley's house. Yeah. like He's using it. Right. Because ah they everybody has to kind of go into hiding. Because he who must not be named is coming.
00:11:17
Speaker
He's coming hard. That's the fact of life. ah Harry decides that he wants to go talk to the goblin from Gringotts. This is Griphook is his name.
00:11:30
Speaker
What a name. Yeah, played by one Warwick Davis because he plays all the short people. Shout out. for it wait
00:11:38
Speaker
And when Harry walks in, Griphook remembers him and he wants to know how Harry got the sort of Gryffindor. And Harry's like, it's complicated. And then Harry asked Griphook, why does Bella by Bellatrix Lestrange? It's a mouthful.
00:11:56
Speaker
Bellatrix? I just call her Bellatrix? Tricks are for kids, man.
00:12:04
Speaker
ah He asked why Bellatrix thought that the sword was in her vault, to which Griphook says it's complicated. complicated. So...
00:12:16
Speaker
ah Harry says the sword presented itself to them, which why does Griphook not know this? I mean, you should fucking know, man. He should. It's the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Come on, man. ah Because he knows that the sword in Bellatrix's vault is a fake, and only goblins can see if they're fake or not.
00:12:34
Speaker
um And he also says that... that like a Jew? i't i was trying to figure out how this makes him a Jew, I don't know. You thought that too, right? I think he's just Jew-y enough by like being...
00:12:46
Speaker
being ah in a bank. Yeah. Yeah. But the goblins have like big noses. I don't know. I feel like it's very, I got a big nose too.
00:12:57
Speaker
to what it is it is what it is no it is very jewy i just don't know how i just don't know how i'm pointing out the fake in hand i was trying to figure out my head how that enhances the jewish stereotype but just don't know maybe like adam sandler's character and uncut gems here you go i have no idea i got an i know i got a cut gem for you
Snape's Role and Wand Allegiance
00:13:17
Speaker
but yeah mine's also cut mine's not uncut send us pictures your uncut gems don't do that don't do that uh ah We also find out here that ah from Griphook that Snape was the one who put the fake sword of Gryffindor in Bellatrix's vault. Snape?
00:13:38
Speaker
He was not putting his sword in her vault. He wasn't fucking her. That's not what I'm trying to say. Fucking her with a sword? Oh, no, with his cock. okay Like a metaphor. Yeah, don't fuck anybody with a sword. That's crazy.
00:13:49
Speaker
like that ah Like that John from Seven. Oh, yeah, yeah. Harry asks Griphook to be taken to Gringotts, and in exchange, he'll give him the sword. um We then see Harry, Hermione, and Ron having a conversation on the staircase, and Ron is like, well, how are you going destroy the Horcruxes if you just agree to give Griphook the sword?
00:14:12
Speaker
haven't thought about that. i don't know yet. Still working on it. Shut the fuck up. They go to, oh sorry. We cut and Harry talks to Ollivander, who is still alive.
00:14:23
Speaker
Barely. This man's fucking holding on for dear life. Barely. I mean, he should be at the that that place on Route 44. I can't say the name that place.
00:14:36
Speaker
Shout out all the Poetown boys who are listening to this fucking podcast right now. They they all got that. ah You got that. You know where Route 44
00:14:49
Speaker
He asks him to identify a wand, and Harry Ollivander his wand, not his cock. That'd be inappropriate. Mr. Ollivander, can assess my for me? mr olavanda can you assess my cock for me ah And this one is walnut, and it has dragon heartstring, and it's 12 and three quarter inches. That God.
00:15:11
Speaker
Damn. Dude, you fucking fucking some meat. That's like unhealthy amounts of meat. And all this meat belongs to Bellatrix Lestrange. So... It's curved, too, at the end.
00:15:25
Speaker
Like Count Doogoo's lightsaber. yeah Literally. Literally. Count Dooku. Okay. you do Then, to you think that one wand's not enough, he pulls out a second wand.
00:15:36
Speaker
We got double penetration. This is fucking crazy. Ollivander's too old to handle all this fucking meat. me We gotta get Slughorn in here. He'd know what to do. He's kind of in this movie, but barely. It is, but like... Yeah.
00:15:51
Speaker
Why's he still around? Yeah, where's he been? Where was he for part one? Yeah. Fucking touching kids in jail. ah The other wand is ah Hawthorne with a unicorn hair and it's 10 inches. This is Draco's wand. Unfortunately, Draco's got a bigger wand than me.
00:16:09
Speaker
Hey.
00:16:13
Speaker
And this part pissed me off because Ollivander says the wand's allegiance has changed. And Harry's like, wands have feelings?
00:16:24
Speaker
And Ollivander again goes, the wand chooses the wizard, Harry. Like, you fucking idiot. He told you this. yeah Your first year. Literally. When you were little boy and had no pubic hair.
00:16:36
Speaker
One the most iconic scenes in the first movie. There's like a whole big thing when you grab the wand, like the whole fucking room shakes. Yeah, come on. the fuck we doing he's stressed it's got um it's what it is also also we have to continue do this segment what do we think about harry's hair uh it's fine think it's fine too it's fine you know like he learned his lesson you know because hermione cut his hair in the first in part one i think go too hot for him Yeah, plus, if he has a certain haircut, Slughorn goes crazy for him.
00:17:10
Speaker
That's true. So, ow. I don't know why he wouldn't sneeze like that. I don't know either. and And for some reason, here also, Harry asks Ollivander about the Deathly Hallows, which Ollivander literally says the exact same thing he's already been told about the Deathly Hallows.
00:17:28
Speaker
Right. Uh, and Harry asks if Ollivander believes in the Deathly Hallows and Ollivander says no, but Harry's like, no, you're full of shit. You believe in it. You know, the elder wand exists.
00:17:39
Speaker
Do you think they call the elder wand? That's what they call Dumbledore's cock. The elder wand. It's possible. Or Hagrid. By the way, Hagrid just shows up randomly in this movie for like 10 minutes, 10 minutes. You're like, where the fuck is he then?
00:17:52
Speaker
Yeah. And how'd you get yourself in this situation? Uh, dude ah Ollivander says he was tortured and captured, who but he he just conveyed some rumors about the deputy house. He doesn't truly believe.
00:18:08
Speaker
And here goes to leave, and Ollivander says, hey, you know, if Voldemort has the Elder Wand, you got no chance, bro. You're dead. Also, wouldn't he be the one that... No, never mind. Scratch that.
00:18:21
Speaker
Okay. i was to say, wouldn't he be the one that gave out the other one? You ready to get it like a scratch? Ewok? ah Ewok?
Gringotts Break-in and Escape
00:18:30
Speaker
Ewok? We cut to Hermione, who is taking some Polyjuice potion and transforms into Bellatrix Lestrange. I'll just say this. Hermione is Bellatrix Lestrange as a... I don't know if you've noticed, but her teeth are nicer. Because it's like her mouth.
00:18:48
Speaker
Her mouth? trying to fuck that mouth. Yeah. What does mouth do? good good bellatrix mouth oh man good yeah probably shaved pussy too like god come on the way her hair looks no way it's shaved oh but like as hermione as her mind hermione probably shaved that pussy yeah you gotta give it for ron you know but i feel like ron would like bush a little bit probably not like to where it's like overgrown right you you don't want like vines Yeah, you could just like fucking reducto those jawns and then they'd just be gone. yeah
00:19:20
Speaker
I don't know. Cap, they retract them then and like pull them out like tweezers. I'm gazelle. ah They apparate. A lot of apparition going on in this movie.
00:19:31
Speaker
I want to learn how apparate. And the funniest part was when Griphook gets on Harry Potter's back like a fucking like a piggyback ride. That's fucking weird. um don't know why. ah So we're in the... We're in Gringotts now. And just for the record, Harry is carrying Griphook with the invisibility cloak over them.
00:19:50
Speaker
Hermione has Polyjuice Potion as Bellatrix the Strange. And Ron was like, I'm just going put some makeup on Yeah, Ron's just like, I don't think he took, did he take it? Apologies.
00:20:02
Speaker
That's what I'm wondering. To look like who though? I don't know. He just like has like a beard that looks like he drew on with marker. Yeah, he just looks like fucking. He of his character. He's kind of a fucking idiot. Right. To be you're right. No, you're facts.
00:20:14
Speaker
You are facts. Hermione asked the goblin dude to enter her vault. Not like fuck Like to enter her vault.
00:20:25
Speaker
You want to enter my vault? But if she asked me to enter her vault, I would. Right. I mean, but a goblin cock is probably like centimeters. Tiny, bro. Yeah, it has to be the smallest drawn ever. And this goblin at the death, don't even look up at her.
00:20:39
Speaker
And he's just like, ID please. And he looks up and it's Bellatrix Lestrange. And... and
00:20:47
Speaker
Griphook whispers to Harry and Ron hears it too have they've been noticed. Like, they're all onto them. um And the goblin at the desk asks for Bella's wand because... that like their ID?
00:21:01
Speaker
I suppose. And then Harry uses Imperio. I'm a gazelle. Which, is Imperio not the one that you can just like control him?
00:21:13
Speaker
No, that's a... Oh, is it?
00:21:17
Speaker
Am I crazy? I think you're right. like hands He hits him with Imperial and the guy's just kind of sends out like look looks like pixie dust.
00:21:28
Speaker
Right, it's like a love potion. Yeah. I don't think Harry would use a jawn.
00:21:39
Speaker
I guess if anybody who's like a hardcore fan out there, let us know. I'm pretty sure Imperial is the... Oh, they're drawing. Curses. Yeah. So Harry uses that shit. But you know what? His life's at stake. So. It's true.
00:21:50
Speaker
ah Basically, hits him with this curse and they agree he agrees to take them to the vault. And they go on a ride into this vault, which is like a fucking ravine. ah And the... What exactly happened? The brakes didn't work? They went past the vault?
00:22:07
Speaker
Yeah, brakes didn't work. And then they go through like a waterfall. Yeah. once see you've wet, Hermione. All right. Oh, yeah. an an alarm An alarm pops up out of this like cart, and then they drop, and we get a resto momentum.
00:22:24
Speaker
um a kazae And it was a nice... Do you peep this? When they stop, like you kind of look down Hermione's shirt, see them a little fucking titties. No, but I wish I did. Oh, I peeped. That's first thing I looked at.
00:22:38
Speaker
Um, and I guess because I forgot exactly what the goblin said, but it gets rid of like the, any kind of charms. Yeah. It's like a, so Hermione's changed back.
00:22:49
Speaker
Anti charm water. Hmm. Water. Uh, they hear a creature roaring and it's a shackled dragon. This is a Ukrainian, a horn belly. Hey, all I'm going to say is the Ukrainians could use a fucking dragon right now. Couldn't they? Yeah.
00:23:05
Speaker
ah Send them to fight. The goblin shakes some bell, which the dragon's been conditioned to expect pain. So as soon as you're shaking it, this dragon like goes in the corner.
00:23:16
Speaker
It's pretty fucked up. Yeah, not right. ah We cut to inside of Bella's vault. Not her pussy. Imagine like magic school bus style. where is This is Bellagrix's strangest pussy.
00:23:28
Speaker
That would be fucking wild, dude. There's her clit. All right. you ever you Speaking of that, did do you know that in um an episode of Magic School Bus, they literally get inseminated by a salmon?
00:23:40
Speaker
No. They're like inside the salmon eggs, and then a salmon comes in like busts his nut all over them. Fucking gross. That is kind of crazy for a kid's show. um That's wild.
00:23:55
Speaker
Hermione tries Accio Horcrux, which look a zoom we've seen before. It doesn't fucking work. Even if Ron's like, it doesn't work. Yeah. Uh, yeah. And even Griphook's like, it's definitely not going to work in this fucking vault.
00:24:08
Speaker
He's like an anti-spell vault. You fucking idiot. Uh, Harry's looking around and he hears some whispers in Parseltongue and he sees, I called it a goblet. What would you call it?
00:24:19
Speaker
Yeah. It's goblet, cup, thing. Um, And as he notices it, Hermione knocks over a piece of like gold or whatever. she got By the way, Belcher's got a lot of shit in her vault. I didn't say that.
00:24:32
Speaker
Or you didn't say that. I think she stole it. She doesn't have it. ah Hermione knocks over something. It's like a ring. It's like a cock ring. And it just like starts multiplying. And it's been hit with the Gemini curse. So as long as you keep touching it, it'll continue to multiply. That's fucking crazy.
00:24:52
Speaker
Uh, right. Also kind of smart. So basically, they slowly start getting suffocated, but Hermione's like, just stop moving. And then they'd nothing happens to them. Harry, meanwhile, is slowly getting suffocated because he's trying to grab the, uh, goblet.
00:25:08
Speaker
Uh, he's able to barely grab it. And he falls towards the vault door. And this is where Griphook abandons them because he's like, I got you here. Didn't have to get you out.
00:25:20
Speaker
Fucking scumbag. He leaves them. ah So he leaves and they follow after him. And we see this Ukrainian horn belly ah burn the other goblin alive.
00:25:34
Speaker
literally fucking roasted like a peanut. He's a fucking s'more, dude. Goblin s'more. Ugh. Uh... So Griphook notifies like the security, whoever these people are, and they're immediately casting spells at ah at them, at the kids.
00:25:55
Speaker
no ah No words. No words, just fucking... Yeah, that's all it is. um Hermione has a bright idea. She uses a ah She actually says reducto, so shout out to her, and jumps on top of this fucking dragon, and Harry and Ron just follow along.
00:26:14
Speaker
ah And they free this dragon from his chains and the dragon slowly starts to make its way out of this this ravine. We cut to inside of Gringotts where you kind of hear some rumbling and suddenly the dragon emerges through the the floor.
00:26:32
Speaker
got right through Fucking savage ass. Yeah, and it's not from the window to the walls, it's from the floor to the ceiling. He breaks out of this fucking John, out of this bank, and they they fly off.
00:26:45
Speaker
Shout out Lil Jon. Shout out Lil Jon. Yeah! Okay. You know, Anna anna was like confusing Lil Jon and Lil Wayne. like They're two very different people.
00:26:57
Speaker
No, I've done that. Really? Yeah. Because she she thought Lil Wayne's thing was- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's nope. He's like, matt now that's like Lil Wayne's thing. Yeah, me.
00:27:07
Speaker
ah Yeah, me. ah I guess, ah I mean, I feel like it's a little racist. Right? Like just yeah a black guy with Lil as his rap name and there's the same people.
00:27:20
Speaker
Yeah. What do you think happened Lil Pump? I think he's still around, but no one listens to his music because it's ass. It was always ass, but. And Skid was kind of good.
00:27:31
Speaker
Skid was good. I don't know where they are, but they essentially look like the dragon starts to fly low and Harry, Ron and Hermione drop off of the dragon into this little like the lake.
00:27:43
Speaker
John, it looks like where they were camping out in Deathly Owls part one. Right. It feels like there it feels like there's a castle and then there's just nothing.
00:27:55
Speaker
And then very, very far away through a portal, there there's Muggle Land. Like, what is the map Hogwarts? Yeah, where literally is Hogwarts located? On a lake.
00:28:07
Speaker
Yeah, there's there's London. Right. Which is where the bank is. Or not, I don't know. Yeah, I think it is. Or it's in Diagon Alley. It's in Diagon Alley, yeah. Which is in London.
00:28:19
Speaker
Which is in London. And then there's Hogwarts somewhere. And then there's just like land. Like vast amounts of land that nobody's occupied. Like can no one find this on like a GPS? The Native Americans got smurdered, but they're not using it.
00:28:33
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. ah so they drop into water where Harry has a vision of Voldemort who's killing everybody at Gringotts. um And Harry... Voldemort realizes that Harry's looking into his brain and Voldemort sees Harry like breaching the the surface of the water.
00:28:50
Speaker
And Hermione gets pissed off at Harry. She's like, you gotta stop fucking letting him in.
00:28:56
Speaker
Yeah, but like I don't blame him. Like, he can't help it. It's also kind of good for like Harry to know. feel like the information that Harry shares with Ron and Hermione is like useful too.
00:29:11
Speaker
Right, like, he's here killing said person. Right. um
00:29:18
Speaker
He also in the vision, he sees a lady who is not to be named, but she's in Hogwarts. And Harry suspects there's a horcrux at Hogwarts. And Ron's like, how the fuck are going to do that?
00:29:31
Speaker
if you guys forgot, Snape is the headmaster. We're not exactly welcome there. ah And they're just going to sneak through Hogsmeade, dude. Fuck it. Fuck it We'll get there. Don't worry.
00:29:44
Speaker
um Harry Popper. Yeah, I'll figure it out on the fly. i do think Harry Potter does like carries fucking weight in this movie. Most of the time he doesn't. I feel like this movie he actually does. Yeah, he's really at the forefront. Thank God. Because, you know, it's his movie.
00:29:57
Speaker
Yeah. It's about time you fucking stepped up. took eight movies. Yeah. here right We cut back to Gringotts where everyone's been fucking slaughtered. And Voldemort walks around barefoot.
00:30:08
Speaker
That's kind of, you know, I mean, he's like, a you know, he's off. Well, he's like a snake dude. Right. So, ah and he's walking with Nagini and he tells Nagini that Harry's onto him. um And we see the sort of Gryffindor disappear.
00:30:25
Speaker
Not that Voldemort took it. It just vanishes like it does. Likes to be doing that. Nagini, he's coming for me. Stay close to me, Nagini. I need to put my whole head in your mouth.
00:30:39
Speaker
I don't know. I like it when you do the little tongue thing. When you breathe and you just flick the tip of my penis. Nagini, suck the venom out of my cock.
00:30:52
Speaker
Or eject it. I don't know what he wants. oh Maybe. he Maybe he's into that. Who knows, dude. He's a weird motherfucker. I mean, yeah. You could, like, finger his, like, nose slits. you know You know how you'd, like, doink people in the eyes? where you can do it in his nose, but, like, get up in there.
00:31:07
Speaker
Yeah, you could really get up in there. Two in the pink, one the stink in a different way. Yeah. Yeah. I guess the nose would be the pink and his mouth would be the stink.
00:31:20
Speaker
um I don't know. yeah He definitely doesn't brush his teeth. So, yeah. i du All these fucking British people got nasty ass teeth. Except for the kids. Yeah, but they're like, yeah, you're right.
00:31:33
Speaker
ah So they they apparate to Hogsmeade, Ron, Hermione and Harry. That is an immediately alarm goes off because people are looking for them. Uh, and they have to hide and they're offered a hiding place by this man.
00:31:47
Speaker
he's like over here and it's like a fucking cellar and they just take it cause they have no choice. Yeah. But what if it was like the Nazis? You don't know. You have to, you just, if you're being hunted by the Nazis, right?
00:32:00
Speaker
There's literally a scene in this movie that's straight fucking Nazi. Like we'll get there, but it's fucking crazy. Well, remind me when we get there, I will, uh, Ron and Hermione thought it was Dumbledore.
00:32:14
Speaker
ah And then Hermione's just looking at this guy's house, and she's a mirror. And this is the full mirror of the shard that Harry has. That's why this motherfucker could see where Harry was at all times.
00:32:28
Speaker
But, and they do say in this scene, if I'm not wrong, the mirror belonged to Sirius. Right. Black. So fuck this is? Seriously black. Right. We've made that joke already. I'm sorry.
00:32:39
Speaker
like he's from the Congo. Have we made all have we made all the we made all the jokes that we can make? Are we out of jokes? It's possible. We're getting close. I mean, I don't know. but can only We can only ah do so much with wizards, you know? When did when did Harry get this shard in Half-Blood Prince?
00:32:57
Speaker
Yeah. Do we see that transition happen or no? No. Okay. It's probably in the book. We meet Aberforth, and he's the one who sent Dobby to help them because he could see them through the shard, and he knew they were in trouble.
00:33:15
Speaker
And he says Mundungus Fletcher, shout Mundungus. Mundungus. God damn it, Mundungus! Gave him the mirror. And he also says the order is finished. There's no more order, so sorry.
00:33:29
Speaker
Shit. There are members of the order who are still alive, so. Barely. There's that. um Oh, wait. Weird autocorrect. Harry tells Aberforth that he's been hunting horcruxes and needs to get into Hogwarts.
00:33:44
Speaker
um And he's like, I have to finish what Dumbledore asked me to do. He's like, guy he trusted me. Aberforth, definitely, I think what Harry says here kind of nails it. He's got some beef with his brother.
00:33:54
Speaker
He ain't too happy with Dumbledore. Nah, they don't like each other. He ain't fucking it. oh Yeah, he's not fucking his brother. That'd be kind weird. Uh... Aberforth is like, how do you know you can trust Dumbledore? He's like, you've known him for seven years and he never mentioned me.
00:34:13
Speaker
And there's also this painting of a lady ah who we find out is Ariana, who is their sister. And they all had no idea who these they ever heard these people until Harry didn't find out until Deathly Halls part one.
Dumbledore Family Dynamics
00:34:27
Speaker
Yeah, right. You know what really bothered me? He kept calling Dumbledore Dumbledore. Meanwhile, this guy's name is also Dumbledore. oh True. Like, just call him Albus. Yeah, he is your brother, you know?
00:34:40
Speaker
Yeah. Aberforth Harry's like, I'm doing this cause i trust Dumbledore. He's like, that's a boy's answer. He's like, you're you're lying to yourself. And he's like, Dumbledore gave you a task with no way to complete it. He's like, what the fuck are even doing, man?
00:34:55
Speaker
I don't know if I completely agree with this because, like, Harry kind of has to do this or he's going to die. You know, it's not like he's just doing this because Dumbledore said so. He's not doing it because it's the right thing to do. I mean, he is, but it's literally life or death.
00:35:07
Speaker
Yeah. And like, if he doesn't, you know, he'll be dead. So he kind of has to like man's not even going to hit 21. He won't be able to drink. Right. Uh, Harry says that, uh, like I mentioned, he doesn't give a fuck about, Aberforth beef with Albus,
00:35:26
Speaker
ah crazy. What if he said that? I don't give a fuck. Bro, I don't care about your fucking but beef, dawg. Just help us get in. um Aberforth then looks at the lady in the painting and sends her off.
00:35:38
Speaker
And then we find out, this is Ariana Dumbledore, who's their sister who died young. And Aberforth says that Albus sacrificed a lot, including her, to get to power.
00:35:50
Speaker
Which is pretty fucked up. Right. Hermione thanks Aberforth, and Harry thinks little weird that she does that, but he did kind of save their lives twice, as she points out. I mean, yeah.
00:36:03
Speaker
But, yeah, I mean, Dobby got killed, but it's alright. We're alive. I mean, he's a free elf, though. Well, not anymore. i mean, now he's dead elf. Right.
00:36:15
Speaker
That's probably worse. Well, what's worse? Slavery or death? That's a deep fucking... conversation there rather be a slave or rather be dead I feel like if you ask slaves they'd probably rather be dead yeah maybe I don't know
00:36:34
Speaker
oh my god shout out Samuel Jackson shout out Leonardo DiCaprio shout out Jamie Fox true shout out that entire movie we gotta do that for the pod that's gonna be wild I am a little worried.
00:36:50
Speaker
We can't say some things in that movie. Let me just add it to the recording schedule because we don we have some spaces open.
Neville Longbottom and Hogwarts Defense
00:36:57
Speaker
Ariana comes back and the painting opens and it's Neville.
00:37:01
Speaker
Neville kind of blew up a little bit. I'm not going to you. He's kind of hot. He's got fucking sack on him in this movie. Neville can fucking get it. for I'm not even being a liar here. Teeth are a little fucky, but yeah.
00:37:12
Speaker
That's what it is.
00:37:15
Speaker
And they go through one of the seven secret passages. ah And Neville shares with Harry and the crew that they've hired the Caro siblings who are in charge of discipline. You literally see these people for like 15 seconds.
00:37:31
Speaker
If that, like, they don't matter. It's like ah it's like a pretty well-known actor. directorctor Really? Yeah, he's ah Ralph something. Hold on. Or it's not Ralph. Ralph! Ralph!
00:37:43
Speaker
ra
00:37:46
Speaker
Instead of Rafe? yeah his It's Ralph Innocent, and he was in The Witch. He was the dad in The Witch. Oh, fuck. Yeah, he's in The Northman, The Green Knight. He's in yeah a bunch of shit, this guy. He's in Guardians of the Galaxy. He's the that one cop officer dude.
00:38:03
Speaker
That's kind of fucking crazy that he... like Who's like, they're a bunch of assholes. Yeah. That's him. It's kind of crazy that like he didn't even get due diligence. No, but he does have a credit in...
00:38:17
Speaker
ah the other two movies? Oh, he's in Nosferatu. Yeah. He's the guy that Carter's old right there. He has a credit in Half-Blood Prince and he also has a credit in Part 1.
00:38:32
Speaker
Anyways.
00:38:34
Speaker
ah They reveal... ah Neville reveals Harry Potter and and the and the crew to the the students who... Are they hiding out up here What think they're doing?
00:38:46
Speaker
I think they're just chilling. They're just slumming it up there. They're slumming it in the. ah I don't know where they are. It's like a tower castle thing. They're not in the great hall yet. Is it crazy to say it could be a room of requirement?
00:38:59
Speaker
Maybe and we not mean it doesn't look like that, but I mean, it's it's a room. They're in a room. Then they're slumming it. It doesn't look nice. Yeah, but like everybody's here. Right.
00:39:10
Speaker
And Neville sends a student off to tell Lupin that Harry's back. Where's Lupin been, by the way? um
00:39:18
Speaker
Neville asks Harry for a plan, and Harry's like, we got to find something. I don't know what it looks like or where it is. Thanks. but And he does admit, he's like, I got no idea. He's like, I know this does not help you whatsoever.
00:39:30
Speaker
And he's like, it has something to do with Ravenclaw, because... We'll get there. But Luna suggests the lost item of Ravenclaw, which is a crown slash tiara.
00:39:41
Speaker
Which i I trust Luna, you know, because one, she's fucking weird. So she's going to know some weird shit that no one's going to know. And she's a Ravenclaw. Just saying.
00:39:52
Speaker
Bonus points. And right as they're getting somewhere, Ginny has to interrupt and give Harry the fucking hard on. And she has no interest in seeing Ron. she just Yeah, she's just standing there like, Harry!
00:40:05
Speaker
And Ron's like, oh yeah, don't mind me. I'm just your fucking brother. Your sibling, you fuck. yeah but Yeah, but Ron, you don't dick me down like Harry does.
00:40:19
Speaker
He he's whispers sweet parcel tongue in my ear. so my god. do have any i mean I really do think Ginny, i mean she must be a fucking skank in the books.
00:40:30
Speaker
She has to be. Just fucking slutting herself around. um Dude, it is great it is crazy too at the end of the where they try to like make everybody adults. Spoilers.
00:40:41
Speaker
ah But like they try to make her look like an adult and she still looks so much like a kid. Yeah. I mean, Harry kind of harry rocks it. Dana Radcliffe rocks it.
00:40:53
Speaker
So does Ron. They give Ron like a beer gut. Yeah. Ginny says that Snape's on to them. Just so you know, they all know you're here, Harry. Harry. good We cut to ah the entire school, essentially, that's being escorted to the dining hall where Snape finally has some dialogue and he wants to know where Harry is.
00:41:12
Speaker
And he threatens punishment to staff or student ah that does not come forward. And they, if you do know where Harry is, you will all be equally as guilty.
00:41:26
Speaker
Ow. Ow. Is he fucking running around in Asia again?
00:41:35
Speaker
Imagine some but some student stands up and more like, Harry was spotted in Chinatown.
00:41:43
Speaker
but Hogwarts has a Chinatown. Oh my god. It's like right next to Hogsmeade to go to Chinatown. Go to Chinatown. Go to Little Italy. Little Italy, yeah. Alright.
00:41:55
Speaker
Wanton soup. i was Dude, she's fucking scoring a wanton soup. um um I'm all down there, dude. I'm mouth open. I fucking love wanton soup.
00:42:10
Speaker
Ugh. ah Unless an actual wonton pops out, then that's a little concerning. ah Her fucking vag is the wonton. Your cock is the filling, dude. Okay. ah Yeah, meat.
00:42:22
Speaker
So Snape gives him a chance to step up and no one steps up. And Harry stands up and he arrives with ah part of the order. So we see Lupin. We see Kingsley.
00:42:36
Speaker
and some and the you know his friends, and he announced... friends now, Snape. You can't hear me. We're together. um He does tell... what her of friendship He asked Snape, he's like, tell him what you did. He's like, tell me you fucking murdered Dumbledore.
00:42:52
Speaker
Fucking, you tell him. You do it. Do it. And Snape's answer to this is he pulls out his fucking wand. In front all these students.
00:43:04
Speaker
Not his cock. His actual one. ah this is one of my This is one of my favorite scenes in all of Harry Potter. like um'm It's probably top five. I enjoy this so much because we don't get...
00:43:18
Speaker
We don't get this enough.
McGonagall vs. Snape and Voldemort's Ultimatum
00:43:20
Speaker
You know, I feel like standoffs like duels, but with people who have like some fucking sauce, some sauce to them, like Snape.
00:43:30
Speaker
So when Harry pulls out, when Snape pulls out his wand, McGonagall steps in Potter's place and pulls out her wand. And we get like low key kind of a duel, but it's basically just McGonagall throwing fireballs at Snape and low key. It kind of looks like she's never used a wand before.
00:43:48
Speaker
I mean, yeah. It's okay. Maggie Smith isn't known for physical acting. Shout out to her. R.I.P. um We... So Snape kind of turns into like a death ear like Zoom Zoom dude. little black cloud thing.
00:44:05
Speaker
Yeah, and he leaves out the window. McGonagall basically calls him a pussy. He's called Howard, I think, but... Right. And there's a brief moment of victory, but Voldemort's in all their all the fucking heads of all the students.
00:44:18
Speaker
And you we hear some people start screaming. And he's saying, give up Harry Potter. In exchange, he will leave the school untouched and they'll be able to live ah plus a reward.
00:44:30
Speaker
And he's like, you got one hour. i ain't giving up Harry Potter. Fuck that. Something tells me he's lying. don't know. I'd like, Harry, you're fucking retarded, but I ain't going to give you up. Uh, something tells me Voldemort's not going to keep his word.
00:44:45
Speaker
Uh, Pansy, who I guess is a Slytherin. Remember Pansy? Barely. She's like Pansy Parkinson, right? Oh, right. Parkinson's disease. Yeah, that one. That's stupid fucking bitch.
00:44:58
Speaker
Uh, she's like, all right, give him up. And yeah there are a bunch of students standing around Harry Potter. No, we're not giving them up. Filch runs in, blabbing on about some fucking McGonagall calls him an idiot.
00:45:10
Speaker
He runs in about some shit and she tells Filch to escort the Slytherin students, all of them to the dungeon. McGonagall says she will secure the castle while Harry and i guess the rest of the school look for Horcruxes.
00:45:24
Speaker
We cut and Ron and Hermione say they know where to find a basilisk fang to destroy the horror the remaining horcruxes. It's an interesting secret, isn't it? Yeah, like, how could you not start there?
00:45:37
Speaker
And Harry gives them the Marauder's Map to find him after they ah get the fang. Harry is on his way up to the Ravenclaw common room and Luna's calling out after him and he's like, I don't want to fucking hear it.
00:45:53
Speaker
She's like, but idiot bro, I'm trying to help you. Uh, but there is a quick cut before this where, Neville is asking McGonagall about blowing something up and she's like, boom, but I have no idea what I'm talking about.
00:46:08
Speaker
Oh, blow it up. Fuck it. Um, and she says, consult with Mr. Finnegan. Is that Seamus? Seamus. Yeah. Seamus Finnegan. And she's like, now go away. And remember Seamus blows everything up on accident.
00:46:23
Speaker
No. Oh. Ow. In the first one, you tried to do, like, the feather, and that blew up. Then you tried to turn the water into rum. That blew up. Looks running bit.
00:46:34
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. McGonagall cast Pier Totem Locomoto. There's R at the end of that, but they have the accents. don't really hear the R that much. a And ah it brings these statues of, like, knights to life.
00:46:52
Speaker
ah And they are sent out to defend the the the Hogwarts castle. And they're big. They're big, big ass statues. They're big boys. Yeah. It's like if the fucking if Lincoln stood up at the Lincoln Memorial, you know, that's actually pretty true. Yeah. yeah And she's hyped to use this spell. She's like, oh I've always wanted to use that.
00:47:11
Speaker
ah Yeah, she tells Mrs. Weasley and Mrs. Weasley doesn't give a flying fuck. At all. Good for you. And you see the staff and Mrs. Weasley and others cast and the protective charms like Protego Maxima.
00:47:26
Speaker
um look aze That's the only one I've written down. I've written down enough fucking spells. ah And it casts a big ass shield over the entire castle. It's like a bubble. ah We cut to Luna who wants to talk to Harry. He don't want to fucking hear it.
00:47:41
Speaker
And finally, it she's like, Harry Potter, you're going fucking listen to me, man. um And she says that they have to talk to someone dead because Cho said earlier that no one alive has seen the lost item of Ravenclaw.
00:47:54
Speaker
That makes so much sense, Luna. Thank you. Right. She's that. Your friends can actually help you here because you're kind of a fucking idiot. Right. yeah You don't have to do it all by yourself. Ron Lloyd said that in the last movie. It's much bigger than you.
00:48:07
Speaker
it's fucking seven movies. Yeah. Not me. Not Hermione. Yeah. Luna sends Harry to go talk to a ah shy ghost by himself.
00:48:21
Speaker
And Harry calls her the gray lady, the gray lady ghost of Ravenclaw Tower. She don't like that fucking name. He's like, no, no, I'm sorry. She's Helena Ravenclaw, who is the daughter of row Rowena Ravenclaw.
00:48:34
Speaker
And as we said earlier, she's a fucking piece.
00:48:40
Speaker
i thought you were to something. I thought going to hit the doink doink doink again. I will. She earned it. I'm going to fucking shoot my load on you, but it's not even going it's just going to land on the floor.
00:48:54
Speaker
That makes fucking Ginny clean it up. Yeah. With her tongue. I was going to say that. so Yeah. um And she knows that Harry's looking for a diadem, but she can't help him.
00:49:05
Speaker
And Harry's like, I want to destroy it. We cut to Voldemort with his army and they just kind of hang out up here for a while. This is pretty nasty. They're just on this cliff chilling.
00:49:19
Speaker
Later in the movie, I don't exactly remember when it happened, so going say now, but like you see them all like marching like in sync on a bridge. I'm like, this is so Nazi.
00:49:30
Speaker
Yeah, i guess it's Nazi. so It follows the Nazis. It's very militaristic, yeah. yeah um
00:49:39
Speaker
Voldemort... is like, begin. His the entire his entire army casts some spells that hit the shield.
00:49:50
Speaker
We cut back to Harry, who's trying to convince Helena still. And she says Tom Riddle asked for the die item as well, but she he defiled it, and he lied to her. He starts fucking the shit out of it. That's how I took it. How are going fuck a tiara, dude?
00:50:07
Speaker
He puts the little, like the one little... Uh, one of the points, you know, where it like lays over your ears. He puts that his dick hole. That is so vile. He sounds himself with a tiara.
00:50:20
Speaker
Oh my God. Hey, um, just put the two ends in his nose. Uh, ah Helena says that she, he reminds her of Tom a little bit.
00:50:35
Speaker
And she says it's in the castle in the place where everything that is hidden is. And if you have to ask for it you'll never know. So it's kind of obvious. It's in the room of requirement.
00:50:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah We cut to Kingsley with Lupin, who says they're going to defend whatever end of the castle they're at with some help.
00:50:57
Speaker
And we cut to Ron, who is speaking Parseltongue and opens the Chamber of Secrets, and he tells Hermione he got off Harry talking his he speaks in his sleep. ah I'll be honest, i don't think Ron was that smart, but I guess he has it in. We cut to Neville. to Neville.
00:51:19
Speaker
We cut to Neville on this bridge, ah the bridge where everybody goes to like talk and I guess kill themselves. It's the bridge on the way to Hagrid's hut. It's the bridge to Terabithia.
00:51:31
Speaker
Right. Bad movie.
00:51:34
Speaker
but no one's swinging on a fucking tire and dying. That's true. I suppose it's worse than that, but it's different bridge. this is like genocide. Yeah. And he sees the army and they they try to approach and they get like dissolved as they run through the shields.
00:51:52
Speaker
And Neville kind of taunts him a little bit. but We cut back to Ron who pulls the fang out of Basilisk fucking remaining skeleton. That Basilisk has been dead down there decomposing for all these years.
00:52:03
Speaker
Right. I mean, yeah, I mean, there's no reason to go in and clean it up. Hermione stabs the goblet with the fang. And I didn't like this. It looks like the fucking goblet kind of rolls away.
00:52:16
Speaker
Right. But I guess they destroyed it. But all that all that black shit comes out of it. Right. And the chamber starts to flood, but then stops. They get all wet.
00:52:27
Speaker
And they share a fucking wet smooch. Good for you, Ron. Get it, dude. Get it. Imagine like for the vibes, like get we fucked in the chamber of secrets. That's crazy. pretty Our little secret.
00:52:39
Speaker
how doing? Still trying to figure out Victoria's secret. Uh, he's a guy.
00:52:50
Speaker
ah Voldemort's pissed. Cause they, he obviously feels that Horcrux get destroyed and he starts fucking throwing a fucking a straight hole into this shield. Ah, that's what he does.
00:53:05
Speaker
a cracks his fucking elder wand. Um, And I guess it does destroy the shield. you don really You see a hole, but it does destroy the shield. And the army is able to cross the bridge and chases after Neville.
00:53:17
Speaker
And Neville throws a spell, no words, and blows up the bridge. And he barely makes it across. It looks like he's fucking dead. Shit in bricks. But it's that classic movie trope where like the arm comes over the cliff and he pulls himself up. like oh Neville, you're okay.
00:53:36
Speaker
That was close. He's like, where's Luna? I want to fuck the shit out of her. That's later, but... Give me that Luna Lovegood. ah Exactly. there And then we see it's we see a full-fledged assault on Hogwarts.
00:53:49
Speaker
We see the the the giants and the the stone knights going at it. um We see Luna... Lord of the Rings. That movie sucks. The movie does not suck. You fucking watch your mouth.
00:54:00
Speaker
ah You gave it a three. doesn't suck. It's mid. I do the same i did the same thing with the substance. I say it sucks I gave it a three. It's what it is. Yeah, but substance is a better movie than a three star.
00:54:12
Speaker
The substance is not better than Lord of the Rings. I never said that. Yeah, but your rating does. Well, because i personally I personally agree with that, but I know the general audience would not.
00:54:25
Speaker
That's fine.
00:54:29
Speaker
This movie sucks. I bought it. You bought it, though. On I'm going to give it another shot. Ow! This is also... What'd you do? Fucking hit my knuckle on my desk.
00:54:40
Speaker
Knuckle. This is also... i really like this scene, too, where we cut to Lupin and Kingsley who are, like, defending the fucking clock tower. Not the one that Harry comes in. a different one. Right. Different clock tower.
00:54:53
Speaker
And this guy, like, comes through the window and Kingsley, like, freezes him and then reverses it and shoots him back out the window. Eyes out. I thought that shit was cool as fuck. He like force pushed his ass.
00:55:04
Speaker
It was fire. ah And then we see the lobby of Hogwarts where students are like going at it. We get we do get right here a stupefy. five what Might be the last time use that button.
00:55:15
Speaker
Sad. Sad. ah Then we cut to what we just said. Neville tells Harry and Ginny that he's mad for Luna. And he's going to go tell her. And Harry and Ginny have a wet kiss.
00:55:28
Speaker
ah Four way. Let's go Neville. Good for you, Neville. ah Harry finds the room of requirement and Hermione and Ron see him on the Marauder map and then he vanishes and Ron's like, well, he should be the room requirement.
00:55:42
Speaker
No shit. Hermione's like, oh. um Ron's automatically like the smartest guy in this movie. Yeah. So Draco, Malfoy and ah Goyle and a black guy.
00:55:57
Speaker
Yeah, Anna asked me. She was like, not she like she's like where's Crab? I'm like, oh. He's got c crabs. I don't know. So I looked it up, and his actor got arrested. So he could be in the movie.
00:56:13
Speaker
That's funny as fuck. They just threw in a random black guy That's funny. That's being his fucking crew. So Draco, this black kid, and Goyle go into a the room requirement. And we see Harry in there. We do see a Cornish pixie, I believe. believe Yeah, you're right.
00:56:29
Speaker
Watching this motherfucker. And he hears some whispers, and he finds a tiara under in a box under some rope. What's in the box? It's tiara.
00:56:41
Speaker
It's not good. Draco and them boys walk in on him. He's all like, hoda, hoda, hoda. We them boys.
00:56:51
Speaker
and And Harry asks why Draco didn't rat on him to Bella in Bellatrix. Sorry, it's just Bella in Deathly Hallows Part 1. Because Draco's not a fucking bad guy. He's not a bad guy deep down. He's a softie.
00:57:05
Speaker
He's just a pussy. That's all he is. Um, Hermione walks in and throws an Expelliarmus. I guess it's her, right? Yeah. Haspikane.
00:57:16
Speaker
like zero And someone tries to throw an Avadra Kedavra. Yeah, Goyle just fucking tries to Avadra Kedavra. I'm like, ah what I was like, God damn it. He's fucking out for blood.
00:57:27
Speaker
um but So he throws a fucking Avadra Kedavra and it gets countered by a stupefy. Which sends this tiara flying up a big pile of shit.
00:57:38
Speaker
Just like furniture, right? of shit And Ron goes chasing after these boys because Hermione's his girlfriend, goddammit. ah Harry and Hermione climb this fucking mountain of shit. and Not like actual dung.
00:57:52
Speaker
but Nah, it looks like ah at the ah the pile of kids in It. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's just not kids. It's furniture. Not kids.
00:58:04
Speaker
um They're able to get Tiara and Ron comes back saying Goyle set the place on fire. There's this big fucking fire dragon. It's cool as shit. Right. And we cut to Goyle who's like trying to like stop doing the spell and his wand does not work. He's got ED.
00:58:20
Speaker
Yeah, his wand's on fire so he just fucking throws it into the fire. wish I could throw my non-hard cock away. Right? Yo, blue shoe works, dude. That's great.
00:58:31
Speaker
Really good to hear that. How's the hemorrhoids? What's the hemorrhoid update? Not doing too good. Aw, damn it. My doctor was, I told him that there was blood. Did you get fingered? Nah, I didn't finger this time.
00:58:43
Speaker
What did he do this time? Camera? Nah, he didn't care. he was more worried about, like, switching my depression meds than my fucking bleeding asshole. Oh, I'm like, dude, ah every day I'm fucking doing the hemorrhoid hoedown. Can we figure something out?
00:58:58
Speaker
He's like, he's like, you know, if it's just like nonstop bleeding, you know, then it's a problem. I'm like, there is, it went from like blood in the water to now there's blood in my stool. That is not normal.
00:59:13
Speaker
Before it was like, if there's blood, let me know. Now it's like, well, if it just keeps on bleeding. Yeah. Now it's like, if you're like fucking dying of blood loss, let me know.
00:59:24
Speaker
You're bleeding out from your ass. Let me know. ah Ron, Harry, and Hermione find some brooms and they go to fly out. We see Goyle fall and die into the fire.
00:59:34
Speaker
And they go back and decide to save Draco and that black kid. Yeah. I just love that he's that black kid. What's his name? We don't know. i don't know It's not Dean Thomas. No, Dean Thomas is good guy.
00:59:49
Speaker
um
00:59:53
Speaker
They land outside the room requirement. Harry stabs the TR with the basilisk fang. And Ron kicks it into the burning room requirement. And the walls just close in.
01:00:03
Speaker
And we don't know what happens in there. I'm assuming bad shit. Yep. We cut to Voldemort, who is disturbed because he... five Sorry. That's a disturbed.
01:00:16
Speaker
i Because somebody... Not somebody. Because Harry just fucking destroyed another horcrux. And some dude is like, my lord. And he's like, I'm the Padraig of Godra. Shut the fuck up. He fucking kills his.
01:00:28
Speaker
That's it. You're dead, dude. don't want to fucking hear it. ah And he tells Nagini again, stay close to me. You are the last Horcrux. And Harry now knows the snake is the last Horcrux.
01:00:41
Speaker
Sorry, is that what you just said? hurt Yeah. ron and then here Ron is like, ah where is Voldemort at so he can kill the snake? So Harry goes looking like in his head and he sees a boat.
01:00:53
Speaker
um And then we cut out of it. If Harry's seeing this or just that it's just like next conversation, like scene of like Lucius talking to Voldemort. think it's just a scene. Yeah, it kind of blends together. But we're with Lucius Malfoy and he asked Voldemort to call off the attack.
01:01:08
Speaker
And he's like, why don't you just go look for the boy yourself? And he's like, dude, you're missing the point. Harry will come to me. Harry will come to me. boy! The boy!
01:01:20
Speaker
la
01:01:25
Speaker
will come to me pretty accurate yours better i kind of went towards that dude from uh feeling on parrots that guy oh mine went in that direction a little bit too much yeah uh voltimore asked lucius to go find snape and bring him to me ah We see and aerial shot of the battle going on at Hogwarts.
01:01:49
Speaker
No spells being cast. Just people going, just fucking flicking the wrist. Flicking the wrist. Just flicking beans out here, you know? yeah I mean, I wish. ah And there's a cool tracking. It's not a tracking shot. We follow Harry, Hermione, and Ron as they run in between the carnage to go to where Voldemort is.
01:02:09
Speaker
yeah And we see the the Giants. We see not the New York Giants. They suck. And we see some some speeders. I don't like speed. So the speed are not fighting on ah on their side.
01:02:22
Speaker
Nah, Aragorn was evil. Remember? But he was Hagrid's friend. It was Hagrid's friend, but you he tried to kill Ron and Hermione. I think by the way, Aragog, not Aragorn. That's that man.
01:02:33
Speaker
It's that guy from Lord the Rings, dude. Oh, right. yeah, sorry. um And they see Lavender getting sucked off by a what you call this guy? like ah He's a Death Eater, but he looks like a fucking werewolf.
01:02:45
Speaker
I would suck this guy off. I would suck Lavender off. Yeah, definitely. Give him your fucking see corpse. We then see Dementors start to enter Hogwarts and Aberforth decides to fucking give a shit.
01:03:04
Speaker
And I call this like a mega Patronus. It is. Huge. This is the biggest Patronus ever. It's going to be huge. It's huge. Huge. The biggest Patronus you've ever seen.
01:03:17
Speaker
It will save America. The biggest Patronus. It's going to be great. Make Hogwarts great again.
01:03:26
Speaker
Maha. We got Maha and Hibby.
01:03:31
Speaker
um We cut to Snape and Voldemort. And this always makes my fucking stomach turn because you know what's going happen. ah And Voldemort says that the wand, the Elder Wand, resists him.
01:03:44
Speaker
And Snape's like, no, no, no. It should work. um You're good. You're good. He asks, Voldemort asks Snape if the wand truly answers to him and where its loyalty actually lies.
01:03:57
Speaker
Of course it answers to you, my lord. Ow. Ow.
01:04:03
Speaker
Voldemort says he is not the master of the wand because the wand served the person who killed its last master. ah And if you don't get it yet, Severus killed... Severus.
01:04:15
Speaker
Severus killed Dumbledore. The wand served Dumbledore. So that means the wand now serves Severus. And Voldemort says only he can live forever. Now, I have beef with this scene, but I will finish it out.
01:04:28
Speaker
Okay. Okay.
01:04:31
Speaker
volde Voldemort slits Snape's throat with like a charm. And then he says, Nagini, kill. And Harry, Ron, Hermione are sitting outside of like this window. And there's no music. It's just like, you're fucking this been brutal.
01:04:50
Speaker
Just fucking snake just destroying Snape. Yeah. And they walk in and Snape looks like fine. He's just like, as like a so this is fucking neck I mean, yeah, he's bleeding out through his throat, but that's not even my beef. This is my question, right?
01:05:04
Speaker
Yeah. Did Voldemort really kill Snape?
01:05:10
Speaker
Yeah. He asked the snake to do it. Yeah. we're saying We're saying he did because part of him lives in the snake.
01:05:20
Speaker
Well, no, I don't think Snape died from the snake. I think he died from the bleeding out from his throat. Bro, you're telling me that your throat gets slit and then a snake is ordered to kill you. You die from the slit in your in your throat?
01:05:35
Speaker
Yeah. well Yeah, but there's no visible snake bites. they don't So why do they do all that? I don't know. It's weird. It's little extra. I mean, I guess it doesn't matter in the end because the wand never served Severus to begin with. Right. get yeah Well, they couldn't they couldn't just Avada cadaver him because then like there wouldn't be the next scene, the important scene with Snape.
01:05:56
Speaker
I get that. Yes, that makes sense. um they walk over and see Snape, and Snape says that Harry has his mother's eyes, and he cries a tear, and he tells Harry to take it. Come on, come on, fucking get it, come on!
01:06:14
Speaker
It's going to evaporate.
01:06:17
Speaker
He tells Harry he has his mother's eyes, and he dies. It's little gay. i don't know if I'd like the send-off for Snape, I'll be honest. No, the send- well... They kind did Alan Rickman little dirty. They did, but then...
01:06:30
Speaker
The whole Snape scene, like the... Yeah. The memory. Right. That's fucking hard as shit. That's my favorite part of the movie. I still have... It's mine too, but I still have some issues with it.
01:06:43
Speaker
A little bit. We'll talk about it. We will.
01:06:47
Speaker
um As Snape dies, Voldemort talks to all the students in their heads and doesn't want war, and he commands all of his forces to retreat. And he says that Harry Potter's allowed his friends to die.
01:07:02
Speaker
and he's like, meet me in the Forbidden Forest. If not, I will kill every mother, father, and child who tries to defend you and hide you. um The next scene is Ron, Harry, and Hermione entering Hogwarts, where we see the wounded being tending to.
01:07:21
Speaker
ah People are dying. Who died here, Fred or George? Fred? Yes. ah Lupin and Nymphomaniac died. i do have beef. It's Warhead.
01:07:34
Speaker
Yeah, we don't we don't get a justified... We don't get a... No....unseen death for Lupin. I think he deserves that.
Snape's Memories and Allegiances
01:07:40
Speaker
He's a big character. I also think George deserves that. Mm-hmm. Um...
01:07:47
Speaker
We cut and Harry's in Snape's office. Snape's office. He's in Dumbledore's office. um but And he puts Snape's tear into the, we don't know what this is called unless you remember.
01:07:59
Speaker
In the John. But I'm now calling the John Dumbledore's spank bank. Okay. I mean, kind of, yeah. That is the joke I teased on, I think, Wolfman.
01:08:12
Speaker
I don't know. I thought of that and I was like, it's pretty funny. It's pretty accurate. ah So he he puts Snape's tear to Dumbledore's spank bank. ah And it's essentially a summary of Snape's life in scenes that have anything to do with Harry Potter himself. It's basically going through and it's telling you that Snape was the good guy the whole time.
01:08:33
Speaker
So it's it's hard to go back and forth because sometimes the audio is more important than the visual, and then sometimes the visual is more important than the audio. So I'll do my best to describe this to you. um But it opens with ah Lily Potter getting called a freak by her sister Petunia because she grew her sister a fucking flower out of her hand.
01:08:52
Speaker
That's not a freak. That's cool. That's cool as shit. No, thanks, sis. Yeah. But I don't fuck with this flower, though. Give me a fucking tulip. Yeah, or a dildo so I can fuck myself.
01:09:04
Speaker
All right. I'll just go fuck myself then. um
01:09:12
Speaker
Sorry. So Snape, she runs off and Snape comes out of this tree. Is this the same tree? The Whomping Willow, what fuck it's called? No, it's definitely not the Whomping Willow because why would Petunia be at Hogwarts?
01:09:24
Speaker
Right, but why why icecape why is Snape living in a tree? Because he's fucking edgy. don't know. He's a fucking troll. He's that dude. ah He comes out and he's like, just doesn't get you.
01:09:37
Speaker
And she's jealous. And we see the two of them, little kids holding hands in the grass. The next part is Lily, who is at Hogwarts and gets sorted to Gryffindor.
01:09:49
Speaker
ah my autocorrect says Gryffindor, like the word grief. Yeah. Gryffindor! We see her meet ah James Potter. We see James, who kind of bullies Snape a little bit.
01:10:03
Speaker
The next part that we just fast forward to James and Lily, who've gotten married, they're all kissing. And shit. And then we get a flash of Trelawney who's reciting the prophecy. Now, I have questions about this prophecy.
01:10:16
Speaker
Sure. More questions. cause i had questions on the last time we spoke about it. Or the Phoenix, I believe. um The prophecy is, rewound this scene to make sure I got it right. Okay?
01:10:26
Speaker
Blood shall be spilled and the servant and the master shall be reunited once more. Who
01:10:35
Speaker
who are we talking about? ah is it, it's Harry and Voldemort, right? Well, I don't fucking know. I'm asking you. but So, because the next scene is Dumbledore talking to Severus saying the prophecy did not refer to a woman. It referred to a boy born in the end of July.
01:10:58
Speaker
So, is this like a Star Wars thing where Harry's the chosen one to like bring balance and like destroy the Sith, which is Voldemort? Right. Essentially. Is that how you're reading it?
01:11:10
Speaker
Yeah. Because i this only my third watch of this. Yeah. And I'll be honest... Dumbledore's a fucking dickhead, by the way. Yeah, he really is an asshole. um Blood shall be spilled, and the servant and the master shall be reunited once more.
01:11:28
Speaker
This is my problem. If... If Harry's a horcrux, right? Yeah. And this is my other problem with this movie. Voldemort doesn't know that that part of his soul is inside Harry.
01:11:40
Speaker
Yeah. He can figure that out. Dumbledore figured out, but he couldn't. You think you would fucking understand. But then Dumbledore can't figure out that fucking Snape and Lily were in love. Like, I don't understand how where the logic here is. Yeah, where's Dumbledore? Like, sometimes Dumbledore's a genius, sometimes a fucking idiot.
01:11:57
Speaker
So...
01:11:59
Speaker
I don't know this prophecy kind of makes no sense to me. But if anyone out there who's smarter than us, call into the show. Explain it. um
01:12:09
Speaker
Snape says to Dumbledore in this conversation we just mentioned about the prophecy that Voldemort thinks it's Lily's son and he's going to hunt and kill them. And he begs Dumbledore ah to hide them.
01:12:21
Speaker
And Dumbledore here being a fucking dickhead, he's like, what will you give me in return? Like, bro. Snape's like, dude. maybe I just fiend for the Potter pussy.
01:12:35
Speaker
He really does. ah The next part is Lily Potter whispering to baby Harry that she loves him. We watch her get murdered.
01:12:47
Speaker
ah And we cut to Severus telling Dumbledore... He's pissed because he told Dumbledore, like, you said you'd keep them safe and they died. um And Dumbledore says they put their faith in the wrong person and we get a flash of ah Peter Pettigrew, a.k.a. Wormtail.
01:13:05
Speaker
What happened to him, by the way? He's fucking vanished. And Snape's like, well, there's no point in protecting the boy because Voldemort's gone. And Voldemort tells Snape... Voldemort does not tell Snape. dumbledor tell Dumbledore Dumbledore...
01:13:20
Speaker
Dumbledore tells ah Snape that Voldemort will return looking for the boy. ah Snape says, hear that no one can know. What is he saying that no one can know?
01:13:34
Speaker
That he was fucking their mom? That he's trying to fuck Harry's mom? So this is this is another problem that I have, honestly.
01:13:46
Speaker
It's like, you show... Snape and Lily, like kind of like falling in love as children. Right. Then you show her meeting Harry and meeting James.
01:13:59
Speaker
Then you show that scene where James but like runs through the two of them and like knocks their books over. And James has like that smirk on his face. And Lily's face as a child is not like, I want to fuck you.
01:14:10
Speaker
Lily's face is like, why are you such an asshole? And then they go on to graduate from Hogwarts as this big time jump where now Lily and James are fucking, but they don't really show Snape like being like, I'm not okay with this.
01:14:24
Speaker
We ever get Snape as like, as like a 20 year old being like, Lily, I love you. You know? i Yeah. They, there's definitely some missing parts.
01:14:36
Speaker
Because the and I get it. It's just a teardrop. How much can you actually see? But like pick your scenes better, dude. Cause they show Snape like crying over her dead body, like way too many times. Yeah.
01:14:46
Speaker
Um, Snape says no one can know. So, and then Dumbledore says, if you really love the boy and he gets cut off, but are we saying here it was Dumbledore's idea to put Harry into Hogwarts?
01:15:07
Speaker
Dumbledore was, uh, like just setting Harry up to die.
01:15:14
Speaker
Yeah. So he was like, he didn't give a fuck about Harry. He was just using him. All right, let me get through this and then we'll talk about it more. Cause I have more to say about that. Um, And Dumbledore is like, I'll never speak on the on your better half, Severus. like Him like doing the right thing.
01:15:32
Speaker
And that Snape... He asks Snape if he's willing to risk his life every day to protect Harry Potter. We cut... We're still in the ah fucking spank bank. bank And we see Snape, who finds Lily's dead body. He's fucking crying over her body.
01:15:47
Speaker
That's kind of weird. They're just creeping up in their house. Well, I mean, he had a suspicion that they were going murdered. So he probably went there to make sure they were okay. He should have got there quicker. Yep. Just like Andrew Garfield should have got there quicker to save Gwen, but that's what it is. Yeah.
01:16:03
Speaker
Uh, we cut to Snape giving Dumbledore some um potion elixir, John, to contain the spread on his hand. And he has maybe a year to live. I'm guessing this is from taking the, drinking that liquid to get the.
01:16:16
Speaker
Right. When he's all like, oh right. Uh, They say that vol ah Dumbledore has about a year to live. And Snape goes to walk out of the office and he's like, don't ignore me, Snape.
01:16:32
Speaker
And he said, we both know that Draco's out to kill me. And he's like, if Draco can't do it, you know the Dark Lord is going to ask you to do it. So he's like you have to be the one to kill me to gain Voldemort's complete trust.
01:16:44
Speaker
I'll do it. And we find out here, this is not really news, I'll be honest, but they put this in. Harry must be told when Voldemort is most vulnerable that Lily Potter cast herself between Voldemort and Harry when he was a baby, which rebounded the spell that Voldemort cast trying to kill Harry, and part of Voldemort's soul latched onto Harry.
01:17:12
Speaker
We kind of already knew that. We've known that for ah many the longest minute possible. And to Harry's point after this, Harry's like, he sees Hermione and Ron. He's like, you guys probably already know this. I've already felt this way. So it's not like this is news, which is why it's like, why are you putting this in the fucking memory spank bank? I don't get it Right.
01:17:32
Speaker
We already know that Harry's a fucking horcrux. um Snape asks. So Snape's like, so Harry must die when the time comes and Dumbledore's like, yep.
01:17:44
Speaker
Um, and he's like, so you just kept him alive to die at the proper moment and calls it like a pig for slaughter. Yeah, it's fucked. And Dumbledore's like, don't act like you've actually cared for him now, which that's the other thing.
01:17:56
Speaker
Does like Snape really have any feelings for Harry or does he just remind him of? i feel I think, I think Snape, since he was so in love with Lily, that Just because Harry's her son, he's like, well, you're all I have left of her.
01:18:14
Speaker
so And then maybe Snape's like, if Harry grows up and has a kid and has a girl, I can fuck that girl because maybe she'll look like Lily. Yeah, there you go. Of age, obviously. Of age short think age, Snape's a good guy. He's not a pedophile.
01:18:28
Speaker
No. He's not Slugworth. Even though he kind of acts like one, but... sluger Slughorn? Slughorn, yep. Slughworth's the guy from Chocolate Factory. They're in Dumbledore's office arguing about this, and Snape casts his Patronus, which I wrote a stag, but it's a doe.
01:18:44
Speaker
It is a doe. ah It's a
01:18:55
Speaker
it's our It's the Patronus from part one that leads Harry to that that lake, the icy lake. And this is other part that I don't like. Dumbledore is shocked He's like, really?
01:19:10
Speaker
who And Snape's like, always, forever. um And we have to find we find out here that Voldemort has to be the one to kill Harry Potter.
01:19:21
Speaker
Wow. And we're pulled out of the spank bank. Now... Obviously, there's a lot to digest there. I watched the scene twice last night to really soak it all in. Yeah, because it is it's a big part of the movie. It's a scene that everybody probably like when you ask about iconic scenes in the franchise, this is for sure one of them.
01:19:40
Speaker
Right, because this is the one where you've you' you finally realize like Snape was good the entire time. Dumbledore was almost like not evil, but ah dickhead.
01:19:52
Speaker
but So this is my this is my question. I have several, but this is one of them. I have several. So they do paint Dumbledore to be the bad guy, and he is kind of an idiot, to be fair.
Debating Snape's Complexity and Dumbledore's Ethics
01:20:05
Speaker
um Why
01:20:09
Speaker
in that other film, I think it's Goblet of Fire, is Snape like, let's let the events play out. Yeah. because And then McGonagall's like, he's a piece of meat?
01:20:21
Speaker
And then Dumbledore's like, yeah. yeah Yeah. yeah Because he... Outside looking in, like, Dumbledore's the only person that knows about, like, the Lily shit, right?
01:20:34
Speaker
Well, does he? Because he acts completely oblivious. I yeah act company He's like, because that we know for a fact that conversation happens right before, in the same scene, right before Snape cast the Patronus for Deathly Hallows Part 1.
01:20:50
Speaker
so did not He was like, Lily? in he was like that. and it He didn't know for the seven films or the six films before Deathly Hallows Part 1. He had no idea. He's a fucking idiot.
01:21:01
Speaker
But he should have known because... He's Dumbledore! Well, that and... what like Snape told him, like, protect Lily at all times. Right?
01:21:12
Speaker
Right. And he just didn't seem to care. No, Dumbledore didn't give a fuck. So that's what I'm saying. Like, maybe Dumbledore just completely forgot or like disregarded the entire thing. But like like like what you were saying in Goblet of Fire, Snape is probably still putting on the act, you know? Because everybody else doesn't know why so why Snape would give a fuck about Harry.
01:21:34
Speaker
I'm just saying it would be like... I hear you on that point for sure. I think also in that scene in Goblet of Fire, McGonagall is like, we he's just a boy. We shouldn't be doing this.
01:21:46
Speaker
And there is like a disagreement amongst the professors. So I feel like Snape could take her side and it wouldn't be like, that's weird. Yeah, but then Dumbledore is like, I agree with Severus.
01:21:58
Speaker
Yeah, they have to completely change the scene. I'm not saying that the scene works after that. But I'm just saying like that kind of also doesn't work a little bit for me. Well, because Dumbledore... don't know, because Snape needed Harry to, like... I don't know, because Snape would have known that Voldemort was going to, like, capture Harry.
01:22:17
Speaker
Also, this this Spank Bank, John, never shows Snape being a Death Eater. Completely glosses over that. Right. But we know from like We know, but like we also knew a lot that happened in this.
01:22:33
Speaker
We also knew a lot. like This is not completely new. i just don't get why Snape is such a hero. Because, i mean, i get where they were trying to go. I don't think it's explicitly shown in this scene.
01:22:47
Speaker
And my problem is, like you and I would both agree, I think, there's not enough Snape in the franchise. hundred percent 100%. And for him to be like this pivotal at the very last movie... Right.
01:22:58
Speaker
You got to pick your tiers carefully. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Book-wise, um i got up to Half-Blood Prince, so i so i'm still I still need to listen to Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows. Maybe the book goes way more in depth, I'm hoping. Severus is going deeper than that fucking pussy.
01:23:19
Speaker
fucking hope so, dude. I'd probably get wrecked by Severus, low-key. Low-key. R.I.P. Alan Rickman, you're a legend. R.I.P., dude. But ah maybe I'll give an update.
01:23:32
Speaker
Yeah, so it is a weird thing, but I mean, Dumbledore is also, he's kind of an asshole, but he's also in kind of a predicament where it's like, we're looking at it through, we've seen the film before, and we know the movie finds a way for Harry to destroy Voldemort and stay alive.
01:23:49
Speaker
Right. And argument can be made, well, Dumbledore should know that. But also, Dumbledore is looking at it through the through the lens of like, I can destroy Voldemort and save wizarding for one boy.
01:24:00
Speaker
for one boy So it's yeah kind of like the, you you know what i mean? Like he's looking at through that lens where he's like, this is, I get it. This is what, but this is what needs to be done. The problem is that Dumbledore kind of got lashed on to Harry, in the last like five films.
01:24:16
Speaker
Right. Then he started caring. And I guess Snape did too, but they don't really show that. I don't think Snape does care for Harry. I think it's the only thing he has left of Lily. Right. So he's like, I gotta be nice to you.
01:24:28
Speaker
Because that flower that she grew out of her hand is definitely dead. low key Like she is. Snape should have been Harry's godfather instead of Sirius.
01:24:40
Speaker
Don't you think that would have hit more? In this scene? Snape should have been Harry's godfather? Yeah. i don't Isn't he already?
01:24:52
Speaker
Oh, Snape should have Harry's godfather. Sorry. Yeah, not Sirius. Oh, yes, that would make... A lot more sense? That would make sense theoretically, but i wonder if James... Because don't really know how their relationship evolves. Like, James and Severus?
01:25:09
Speaker
Right. Well, because Sirius was more so, like, James' friend than Lily's. and But Severus was Lily's friend. But you can have godparents on both sides, right?
01:25:20
Speaker
I think so. i I don't know if you can... Yeah, you can have a god... I don't know if your godmother and godfather have to be, like, I don't know how that works. No, like, can you have a guy? Can you have godparents on your mother's side and your father's side? You probably can.
01:25:35
Speaker
I don't know. That's the thing. Like, what if your godparents die before your parents? No, can only have one. Or you only have one pair. There you go. you You can't have it on both sides. you only have one set.
01:25:46
Speaker
I'm just curious, like, if Lily was like, oh, I want Severus to be the godfather. By the way, this is in the Catholic Church, so I guess they're Catholic. yeah That's what this says. But if Lily was like, I want Severus to be the godfather, would probably be like, oh, that guy that was trying to fuck you? Absolutely not.
01:26:05
Speaker
know mean? Right. Right. Like, we just don't know. But for for story, it like, at this point, to, like, make Snape more... understanding it would have a lot more sense because really serious what role does serious really play not not much he kind of introduces harry to the order that's about it snape could have done that because snape's in the order yeah but snape is putting on his facade he doesn't give a fuck about hair which i just don't get
01:26:37
Speaker
yeah
01:26:41
Speaker
So that's what I mean. When he's like, no one can now, he's talking about no one can know that he cares about fucking Harry a little bit? What's the big deal? It's not like they brought in Harry Potter. This is actually Edward Smith. They were like, this is Harry Potter, the boy who lived. This is actually him.
01:27:01
Speaker
yeah you know like They weren't like trying to conceal his identity. And back to what we were saying in the first episode, if Harry was just left with the fucking muggles, none of this would ever happen. Right. Dumbledore is essentially the one that was like, bring him here.
01:27:14
Speaker
Come on. We need him. We got to kill him for our world. Right. So don with light yeah I guess he knew that Voldemort was going to come back, though. Sure. But if you're fucking all tough and mighty.
01:27:28
Speaker
Because like Harry doesn't die, right? So like you don't need him. We know that, but Dumbledore, I guess, in these in this dream, this tear sequence, thinks that Harry has to die in order to save the world. the world The fucking vast, empty lands of around Hogwarts. Why couldn't Dumbledore just go after all the Horcruxes? Him and Snape could have done it like way quicker, probably, than fucking the trio.
01:27:55
Speaker
You can make that argument for every movie. Yeah, it's true. It could just be fucking Dumbledore versus Voldemort. Right. Which is why I like Order of the Phoenix so much. Because I actually get that. But you actually get like the full power of like Dumbledore on display.
01:28:09
Speaker
Right. Like what he can actually do. Which you don't really get. um feel like I had something else say about this.
01:28:20
Speaker
Either way, it's a very iconic scene. but i Part of it's well done and part of it I think they could. There are some parts and clips in there where it's like you could have put something else.
01:28:33
Speaker
Right. We get no Snape being a Death Eater. We get no Snape really being in love with Lily like as an adult. Because you can have a crush on a girl in third grade. It doesn't mean shit. Right. I mean he does like walk in and like just hold her dead body and starts like fucking crying his eyes out.
01:28:48
Speaker
Right. There's just a massive time jump. Yeah. More like if you really care about this girl, how do you just let her fucking go? yeah There's a lot of missing scene. Yeah. corrupted file you should maybe snape's memory A corrupted file. file.
01:29:05
Speaker
Or maybe it knows that Harry's looking at it. so They're like, we're only going to show you this. he imagined you Dude, imagine Harry puts his face in the fucking spank thing and one of the fucking memories is just Snape laying it down on his mom.
01:29:20
Speaker
He's going at it. He's like, ow, ow, ow, ow. I'm coming. I'm sure Harry doesn't want to see mom getting fucking rinsed out. No, probably not, right? That'd be wild, dude.
01:29:34
Speaker
It's already weird if he's seeing his mom fall in love with Snape. It'd be crazy to see him like laying it down. I'd have a voda cadaver myself. Can you do that? Probably. Yeah. Probably. probably You just pointed at yourself.
01:29:46
Speaker
But then there's like this whole other thing where it's like, kind of like there's like a theory online was like, Oh, was Snape actually Harry's dad? So I looked that up too.
01:29:57
Speaker
Yeah. Cause that, that would even make more sense. Yeah, if if Harry is the illegitimate son of Snape. Yeah, he's the best. Because all they say is, you have your mother's eyes. It's only about the mother's eyes. It's never about the father.
01:30:12
Speaker
No, the only thing that Harry did that James did was become ah like a Quidditch player. Slughorn was never like, you got your father's cock, Harry. Like, that never happened, you know? Right.
01:30:23
Speaker
It's all about you. And they have Lily and Severus have the same Patronus. Right. yeah We'll get to that eventually. I don't think
Harry's Confrontation with Voldemort
01:30:32
Speaker
that's that crazy. I'll be honest. Because you and I on the generator could have got the same Patronus.
01:30:36
Speaker
we're yeah We're not related. No. You know? That'd be cool if you were. I could fuck you. It wouldn't be incest. No, it wouldn't be. And I'd like it. So. and it So it wouldn't be ripe either. Right. Right.
01:30:48
Speaker
Okay. So Harry comes out of the spank bank covered in cum. I'm just kidding. He's like, ah' vicky um he finds Ron, Ron Hermione. And he's like, yeah, I'm going to see. I'm going to the dark forest.
01:31:06
Speaker
um not Hagrid's pubes because Hagrid just hasn't been around. Right. And he tells Ron and Hermione, he's like, I've been thinking this for a while. I'm a horcrux. And he's like, what do me a favor, kill the snake, please.
01:31:18
Speaker
So Harry goes off into the Forbidden Forest and he gives his snitch a little kiss. He's like, I'm ready to die. ah And when he kisses the snitch, it reveals the resurrection stone.
01:31:33
Speaker
So this was interesting because ah all these ghosts, these force ghosts appear around him. His mom, his dad, Lupin, somebody else I'm forgetting.
01:31:46
Speaker
Oh, Sirius. And he asked, Sirius, does it hurt to die? And Sirius is like, quicker than falling asleep, dude. I wonder if ah Gary Oldman filmed that scene like on his last movie because this is the only part of the movie he has.
01:32:01
Speaker
Yeah, he had to have. says that He says they saw all these ghosts they died because of him. um And they'll be with him and and until the end and Voldemort can't see them because they're with Harry. Like John Cena.
01:32:14
Speaker
just think you can't see me thing for audio. ah Harry drops the resurrection stone. I don't really get that. Yeah. um Kind of need that, Harry. But I guess he just wants to die.
01:32:26
Speaker
so i' you Right. like If you die, like you you can get resurrected. Because he goes, the resurrection stone. he just throws it. like yeah don Don't need that.
01:32:38
Speaker
Exactly. ah We cut to Voldemort, who is disappointed that Harry hasn't shown up yet. And then ah he shows up. And we see Hagrid, who's tied up. And he's pissed that Harry's there. And we get the famous line, the boy who lived, come to die.
01:32:55
Speaker
ah And we they show Nagini for a minute slithering his way down. And then Voldemort, Avadra Kadavra's Harry Potter. I'm going to show you my Harry Boppa.
01:33:08
Speaker
um And he ends up in an all-white subway. I believe they call was King Station. This is fucking gay. I fucking hate this scene so much.
01:33:19
Speaker
And he sees under a bench a little baby Voldemort. He's like fucking bloody and shit. He looks like a like yeah fucking ripped up it looks like out of a cow. He looks like that thing that Sidney Sweeney fucking pushed out of her at the end of Immaculate.
01:33:32
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, we never see it, but... fight again Yeah, it's like a combination of that and the baby from Eraserhead.
01:33:40
Speaker
I don't remember the baby, I'm be honest. Oh, it looks like a fucking thing. We watched it together. We did. Movie sucks. R.I.P. David Lynch. We never said that in the podcast. R.I.P. David Lynch. Sad. Legend.
01:33:50
Speaker
Big sad. um Dumbledore shows up and he's like sucking his cock. He's like, oh, you brave boy, whatever the fuck he's saying to him. And Harry asks where they are and Dumbledore don't know either.
01:34:04
Speaker
um And Voldemort. Dumbledore tells ah Harry, him and Voldemort are connected um and a part of Voldemort lives in... Oh, this is... Harry's like, a part of Voldemort lives inside me?
01:34:23
Speaker
oh Didn't you say you just had this figured out, kid? Oh my You're so... Fucking stupid. Harry's still trying to figure out what's going on and where he is.
01:34:33
Speaker
And Dumbledore's like, you can just take the train if you want. ah And he goes to leave and Harry tells... Dumbledore Voldemort has the Elder Wand. Nagini's still alive, and he has nothing to kill it with.
01:34:46
Speaker
And Dumbledore says, help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it. And then says, I want to change that to, help will always be given to those who deserve it. And he says, don't pity the dead, pity the living and those who live without love.
01:35:01
Speaker
I don't know. This is a bunch of shit. It doesn't make any sense. like what Is Harry like in limbo? Is this like in his head? Is it actually happening? Well, he asked that question. Yeah. And he Dumbledore says this is in your head, but it doesn't make it less real.
01:35:16
Speaker
I think Dumbledore has the power to do this shit. He could pull this off. He's dead, though. This isn't Harry's projection of Dumbledore. I think Dumbledore, his spirit could fucking just whoop. Yeah, he's probably. These are showing up.
01:35:27
Speaker
That's true. What about the ghost of Dumbledore? That'd be gangster. Where's he at? Um, we cut to Voldemort who's like awakening. Um, and he looks very concerned because I think he realizes that he killed a part of him.
01:35:42
Speaker
Uh, we see Draco's, he sends Draco's mother Narcissa, uh, to see if Harry is dead. And this, I wanted to get your take on this. Maybe I hear it. Let me hear it.
01:35:55
Speaker
She asks Harry, who is dead, quote unquote, if Draco is dead.
Narcissa Malfoy's Deception and Battle Moments
01:36:03
Speaker
And he's like, shakes his head. No.
01:36:07
Speaker
and then she goes, yeah, he's dead. To Voldemort. So Harry did move his head? Yeah, he went. So a Harry isn't dead, but also threw away the resurrection stone.
01:36:20
Speaker
Correct. I don't get it. I don't get it either. Maybe it's the thing where it's like Harry deserved the help, so the Resurrection Stone decided I'm going to help this kid. Or Voldemort just didn't make full contact.
01:36:35
Speaker
Okay. Fair enough. ah We cut to Neville, who finds the sorting hat in the fucking Ground Zero, basically. Okay.
01:36:47
Speaker
what What? It was. you're right. Fires. These fires relate around Hogwarts and we see Hagrid leading the the charge of Voldemort's army with dead Harry.
01:36:58
Speaker
I put in quotations. ah Voldemort's boasting in front of the school that he killed Harry. And he's like, you can join me or die. And we see Lucius and Narcissa asking Draco to come over.
01:37:11
Speaker
And Draco walks over. We then see Neville limp over. And Voldemort jokes that, i oh, I was hoping for a better better student than you. Like, a yo. All right.
01:37:22
Speaker
Yeah. I'm Neville Longbottom. All right. I got that long ass fucking ass, dude. got a long ass bottom, bro. Yeah. My ass is like to the floor. All right. I make that shit clap and it's a tidal wave.
01:37:32
Speaker
Hey, yo. ah Neville says Harry died and a lot of people died, but they're all still with them in here. Inside. When suddenly Harry springs out of Hagrid's lap and hits a Confringo.
01:37:47
Speaker
Confringo. Alakazam. And he runs off. We see the Malfoys just kind of like run off. We then get a Harry versus Voldemort connecting Juan John.
01:38:02
Speaker
um They're inside Hogwarts at this point. um And Harry is able to direct this like blast, I guess, up to the ceiling, and ceiling kind of collapses in between them. We see Hermione throw a rocket Nagini. And the next scene is Voldemort.
01:38:17
Speaker
It autocorrects to Voldemort. Oh, French. remember you french oh hello oh wet of horror home He's choking out Harry with his fucking robe, dude.
01:38:31
Speaker
That's kind of hot. Then we... say Fucking Slughorn's in the corner beating his meat to it. Choke him harder! Okay.
01:38:42
Speaker
I'm sure you're just pink.
01:38:46
Speaker
Nagini's about to fuck up Hermione. Ron tries to sneak up behind it with ah the fang and the snake turns around and tries to attack Ron, which causes him to drop the fang. right Molly Weasley...
01:39:00
Speaker
Goes up against Bella because Bella got fuck up her daughter and she goes, not against my daughter, you bitch. Yeah. Hit him with curse word in Harry Potter. This scene could have been better, but instead she decides to cast a bunch of spells that have no names. So you don't get the Alakazam button.
01:39:17
Speaker
But essentially it looks like Bellatrix gets Thanos snapped. Yeah. Fucking Molly destroys her. Well, she can't use Avada Kedavra because then she'll be in jail. Dude, this is literally to save the world, though. I get it. I get it.
01:39:31
Speaker
You know what I mean? ah We cut to Voldemort. He's beating the shit out of Harry Potter. He's just like kicking him. He's just kicking the shit out of him. And Harry tells Voldemort that Elder Wand never belonged to Snape.
01:39:43
Speaker
um And there's this iconic scene that was in the trailer where they jump off the cliff. And Harry goes, let's finish this how we started. Together. And they...
Voldemort's Defeat and Aftermath
01:39:52
Speaker
Yeah, he calls him Tom, too. He hits him with the government name.
01:39:55
Speaker
Hey, yo, hey, Tom Riddle, you bitch. Yeah. They land in ah in the courtyard in the front, and they're crawling towards their wands, and we see the the link up again. as' a s slow-mo of them going at it, and Nagini's about to kill Ron and Hermione, but Neville...
01:40:15
Speaker
shows up and decapitates a motherfucker with the sword of Gryffindor. Fucking you big dick Neville out here. Shout out to you, Neville. You really stepped it up the last couple movies. You literally, ah like, you saved the world because now you're now Voldemort's weak enough.
01:40:31
Speaker
And Harry's able to destroy Voldemort again like he got snapped. I don't really love Voldemort's death. Yeah, it's pretty anticlimactic. He just kind of like... Like Penny, it's literally like Pennywise. Remember when like his skin starts peeling backwards and shit?
01:40:48
Speaker
That one though, Pennywise isn't dead. Right. At the end of the first one, right? Yeah. ah So he's dead. We cut and there's like a sense of relief that, ah you know, it's over. We see Neville and Luna sitting together.
01:41:02
Speaker
Harry makes some hard eyes with Cho, but whatever. ah He reunites with Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid. We cut to this bridge, not the bridge from before, a different bridge. um And Hermione asks why the wand didn't answer to Voldemort.
01:41:16
Speaker
um And Harry says that Draco disarmed Dumbledore. So it aligned to Draco. And then Harry disarmed Draco at Malfoy Mayor. That was in Deathly Hallows Part One he's referring to.
01:41:29
Speaker
Yeah. Um, so I always answer to him. and he decides, you know what? to snap the of this wand right in half. Throws it in the river. Throws it in the river. <unk>re run around ah That's an inside joke. No one's going to get. So, uh, we cut and this is hilarious to me, dude.
01:41:48
Speaker
The, they put on the screen 19 years later and it yeah literally looks like just regular ass font.
19 Years Later: Epilogue
01:41:55
Speaker
Like I could find like for the clips that I make. Yeah. yeah like It's like fucking, not Times New Roman, but it's like Ariel.
01:42:01
Speaker
right nineteen like 19 years later. Like they could have done it in the Harry Potter font. Like it would have been cooler. Literally anything else besides what they used. yeah um Harry and Ginny are together. They got a kid. Sending their boy off to college.
01:42:19
Speaker
ah Which is Hogwarts. It's not even college. It's fucking school, you idiot. but It's all school. Ron Hermione sending their kid to Hogwarts. We see Draco with some bitch.
01:42:30
Speaker
Yeah. ah And we find out that Harry named his kid Albus Severus Potter. So Albus for the guy that wanted to sacrifice me. Severus for the guy who's trying to fuck my mom. And Potter because it's my last name. Yeah. For my biological father.
01:42:46
Speaker
Yeah. All right. Who was a dick to Severus. Right. And that's basically the end of of Harry Potter. we've We've reached the end. Yeah, the end's a little anticlimactic, but ah maybe they ran out of budget.
01:43:01
Speaker
i I mean, with the 19 years later, I think they did. I actually think I'm going to change my rating because we just talked about this.
Adaptation Choices and Philosophical Discussion
01:43:11
Speaker
Yeah, i'm going to change it.
01:43:14
Speaker
Yeah, that's fine. That's good. ah Do you want to share your... ah really great you want to share your Rating of this movie. Now that all said and done.
01:43:26
Speaker
Now that it's all said and done. I i did rate it. I didn't hide it from you. Oh didn't see it ah I gave this movie. A four and a half star. The.
01:43:40
Speaker
Taking. Like. The half star is basically. For. Like the. It's not a five star because. Of the weird white.
01:43:51
Speaker
scene with dumbledore um oh that's what does it for you that and the anticlimactic death of voldemort like how much cooler would have been if they just didn't use spells and just fisticuffs and harry's just beating the fuck out of his face like yeah harry just tackles when you start fucking punching the shadow face yeah um I also, so I did log it last night as a five, but I do have too many issues.
01:44:22
Speaker
So it's a four and a half. I don't like the way Snape was treated. um Not even like in, like just in the movie, like what they actually did with his character. i don't think it's great. I have problems with that fucking memory spank bank scene.
01:44:35
Speaker
The scene on the train doesn't, or the the King station, whatever, it doesn't bother me that much because Harry's an idiot in all these movies. That's true. You know? So it's just like, It just kind of took you out of the moment.
01:44:47
Speaker
And I do think that they could have framed Dumbledore's situation with Harry a little bit better as like a moral dilemma. Like, what would you do? Like, yeah, it's kind of just up to us to just to figure out like, oh, well, Dumbledore was caught because he could either save humanity or save one boy.
01:45:08
Speaker
didn't really show that. And I think that'd be interesting. Um, Are you ready with a final, not final, but a ranking of the franchise? I think so. You and I both have Philosopher's Stone last, right?
01:45:21
Speaker
Yeah, that's last for sure. For sure. And then after that, you're going to hate my list. So I will let you So we're going from least to top?
Ranking Harry Potter Films
01:45:29
Speaker
That's what I would do, yeah. all right. And then I'm going to give you top afterwards. Oh, oh, oh.
01:45:34
Speaker
So at the bottom, we have Sorcerer's Stone. And then we have Deathly Hallows Part 1.
01:45:47
Speaker
That hot? No, I mean... no I don't think to most people to be hot. I'm not actually sure. Okay. And then we have do Order the Phoenix.
01:46:00
Speaker
Yeah, but i my feelings are hot on that, so... That's true. And then... After Order of the Phoenix, we have Half-Blood Prince. I know you fucking hate that movie. you'll be You'll actually be very surprised at my ranking, I think.
01:46:16
Speaker
Okay. And then after that, we have Deathly Hallows Part 2.
01:46:22
Speaker
this and This starts the four and a half. so They're all just four and a half. yeah Besides one that I know is coming. Two of them are five stars. Oh, okay. And then we go Prisoner of Azkaban.
01:46:37
Speaker
Okay. That's a four and a half. And that's number three or number four? That's three. Okay. And then number two is Goblet of Fire. Ugh. Out of five star.
01:46:48
Speaker
And number one is literally just nostalgia for me. Chamber of Secrets. Chamber Secrets. Five star movie. At me. don't give a fuck. ah Mine's a little wild.
01:47:00
Speaker
Okay. ah Last place, Harry Potter, Philosopher's Stone. It's just childish. We've been over this. it's it's I guess it's a good entry. It's not bad movie. It's three and a half. Yeah, exactly.
01:47:12
Speaker
ah Number seven is Chamber of Secrets. oh I'll be honest. I just don't give a fuck about that movie. I think the end is good and the rest of it just don't care about.
01:47:23
Speaker
um Although our episode of that is wild. I mean, yeah, i've I've told you why it's so popular with me, but...
Personal Anecdotes and Film Experiences
01:47:31
Speaker
Yes. Number six, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Three and a half. This movie gets better with each rewatch, but I do think three and a half or a four is going to be its max.
01:47:44
Speaker
I'm okay with that. um By the way, i think Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is our wildest episode, period. Yeah, I'm really hoping we don't. Even the shit caught that nobody heard. It's fucking... We were on some shit that day.
01:48:00
Speaker
I don't know what's on. Something about kids. I don't know what... I mean, something Slugger a pedophile. ah Number five, this is... We're in the four-star territory. Harry Potter and the Deathly Howls Part 1.
01:48:13
Speaker
ah like this movie more and more on each rewatch. i If you want to hear my whole thoughts, just go back an episode. Or you already heard them. I don't know. Just listen. Number four, we're in four and a half star territory now.
01:48:25
Speaker
ah Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Solid movie. Again, it got bumped up because i realized that Harry's just fucking stupid in every single movie. so Yeah, you kind of got to disregard that a little bit. Every movie got the half star bump because like he's a fucking idiot.
01:48:40
Speaker
Number three, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Four and a half stars. I really, again, just don't care about the ball and the dancing. I think it's fucking stupid. um numbers That's where you could have given us more Snape.
01:48:53
Speaker
Right. Give us more Snape. Number two, Harry Potter and the Deathly Howls Part 2. Movie is Rip City. Yeah. It has some issues, but um I've never... Two hours and 15 minutes has never gone by so fast.
01:49:08
Speaker
I agree with that. I mean, crazy how well-paced it is. I do... This is what I'll say. And I wanted to say this, but I forgot. I didn't forget. This is the right spot to say it in, actually. Okay.
01:49:21
Speaker
ramo We've never shared this. This is a more pod lore for the listeners out there. Gerald Alexis, who we actually shouted out in this episode, and i went and saw in The Avengers.
01:49:36
Speaker
right Wasn't I there too? Oh, you said that too. Yeah, sorry. yeah I mean, I didn't go with just... yeah Yeah. Yeah, I was there. Okay. I was third wheeling it. It's all right. I mean, I was kind of a bitch. don't think we even kissed at that point. I think Alexis was a third wheel at that point. I don't think we ever actually kissed her and I. So right you could just say we were three friends hanging out.
01:49:55
Speaker
Sure. Leaving that theater after watching that movie was a certain feeling that I got and my bones where I was like so shook, impressed, amazed,
01:50:06
Speaker
Like, just insert the fucking Martin Scorsese, this is cinema meme. You know? Right. And not... I mean, there are movies. there there are Certain movies give me that feeling.
01:50:17
Speaker
And when I have it, I know, okay, this is probably a five-star movie. Because not many movies give me that kind of, like, holy shit. Like, your heart's racing. It's like, I'm thinking about it. Like, what the fuck?
Podcast Journey Reflection and Future Plans
01:50:28
Speaker
Blood right in your cock. Like, I'm trying to jerk off, like, out of the excitement. My background is now it's slughorn. Just kidding. This is one of those movies that did that for me.
01:50:38
Speaker
So that's why it's there. That's why I gave it a five. But talking... It was a five last night. And then talking about it today, I don't think I want to give it a five. And then number one. It's still number one.
01:50:50
Speaker
And still... ah Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix. I'm giving this five star movie still. Yeah, that is our, our Harry Potter, our Harry Potter scene by scene review.
01:51:02
Speaker
ah We are finishing this on January 29th. So, I mean, it's gonna months before y'all hear it. Yeah. You won't hear this for like ever. I mean, this is coming out May 27th, I believe.
01:51:14
Speaker
Yeah. This episode comes out. So by then a lot's changed. Who knows what's going to happen. Uh, but I guess we will say thank you in advance.
01:51:25
Speaker
Technically. Thank you. Yeah. Support. Um, if there's anybody new listening, uh, who got into us because you hopefully got that clickbait, Harry Potter, uh, thing.
01:51:37
Speaker
Uh, thank you. and we hope that you stay for us for the long haul. Check out our older episodes. At this point, they're real fucking old.
01:51:49
Speaker
Um, Got some bangers. Let us know, like we said at top, what what franchise we should review next. Yeah, please let us know. think Pirates, ah Hunger Games, and I want to throw Mission Impossible in the mix.
01:52:03
Speaker
Yeah. I think 2 would be so fun to just shit on. Okay. 2 is so laughably bad. Those are our top three ah ideas floating around. If you have anything better, ah let us know.
01:52:17
Speaker
Call in. Call in. Hopefully we have some, at this point, we've gotten some Harry Potter phone calls. Call in with your opinion of the franchise. Call with your ranking of the franchise. Yeah, that'd be fun. Let know how you feel.
01:52:28
Speaker
If you think we are fucking horrible at ranking the Harry Potters, let us know. i mean, we we both have Goblet of Fire in the top three. We both have, oh, Aspen's my four. That's what it is.
01:52:42
Speaker
Uh, yeah, we'll do.
01:52:47
Speaker
So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com. Follow us on the tick tock.
01:53:00
Speaker
Two guys, one screen. oh there Yeah, I mean, he gave us 90 days. 90 days be This is coming out like six months. Yeah. Follow us on Letterboxd and ah send us a voicemail that we listen to live on the air at 5088 fist us.
01:53:24
Speaker
5088 dip tip. Check out the YouTube clips. YouTube clips going on. Is that also two guys one screen pod? Yep. At two guys one screen pod. at two guys, one screen pod, all that shit.
01:53:35
Speaker
It's going to the description. Hit it up. All that shit down low player. Yeah. Hit me below the bell. I'm ready. Hey, as hard as you want. Um, yeah, we don't really know what's going to happen next week. Cause again, we're recording this five months in advance.
01:53:51
Speaker
Yeah, which is crazy because we have we have a good amount mapped out. ah We're mapped out to this episode. This is the end of the map. Like in Minecraft, where you hit the end of the map, this is the end of the map.
01:54:02
Speaker
There's nothing else after this. We've hit nothing but open waters. um So we have no fucking idea it what's going to come out next week, but it'll probably be a fun episode. ah We hope you enjoyed, again, our Harry Potter review. This has been so fun, I think. We've had ah really fun time doing this.
01:54:20
Speaker
Insane. Some hard laughs. I'm very excited to hear all these episodes come out again. Oh, yeah. The re-listens are going crazy. Like I said, editing, I had to stop because my fucking head hurts so much from laughing. yeah I mean, there's some of them are just so funny.
01:54:32
Speaker
And if you don't find them funny, it's this is our brand of comedy. So it's what it is. Yeah. I mean, we get. get a little crazy. And by a little crazy, I mean. Pretty crazy.
01:54:43
Speaker
Run a line. Yeah. We're really close to a fucking line. Yeah, I mean, some things get bleeped, some things don't. It's what it is. sure ah So we don't know what's going to happen next. We have no idea.
01:54:54
Speaker
ah But what I will say is be on the lookout. where We're inching closer to our one-year anniversary. And boy, do we have planned for you. and the Usually we say, you know, go watch it before you listen.
01:55:11
Speaker
i don't know if you want to do that for that one. Maybe, maybe let us watch it and then you can just listen to it. It might, I mean, I think we should say trigger warning. Oh, for every, every possible trigger you got, it's a warning. There's a warning. Uh, so we are planning something for our one year.
01:55:28
Speaker
um And yeah, we're doing the fucking horror bracket again, obviously, this year. It's coming up. i mean, if this is coming out in basically June. You got the summer and then, with i don't know, just plugging everything. Fuck it. Yeah, everything. yeah And then this December, we got the Christmas theme movies again. And then shout out one one last time to ah to Jake and Tyler who came on for their respective episodes on Harry Bopper.
01:55:55
Speaker
Yes. Thank you very much. um You're always welcome. um Yes. And until next time, we'll but see you guys. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.