Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
EP. 61 Superman (2025)
17 Plays1 month ago
Follow us on Instagram!
Our Tik Tok page is live!
Email the pod at 2guys1screenpod@gmail.com
Leave us a voicemail to be answered on the pod! 508-834-7847
Check out our Youtube Page for clips!
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Reunification
00:00:00
Speaker
That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
That's how I identify the Doteca e-drunk.
00:00:27
Speaker
a
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
00:00:38
Speaker
Scrubbing the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
00:00:44
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:48
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
00:00:56
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't expect people to like like the post about the this episode being delayed, but they did. Yeah, they did. Yeah, fuck you guys. Like, do I take that down?
00:01:07
Speaker
No, I'd fucking leave it up All right, here we go.
00:01:12
Speaker
Hello welcome to episode 61 of the Two Guys One Screen Podcast, aka the Poe Town Boys, reunited and it feels so good. it felt so good. You were pounding my ass. Yeah.
00:01:24
Speaker
The hemorrhoid homies doing the hemorrhoid hoedown all the way down the arterial.
00:01:32
Speaker
My name is Nick. You want it? And I've been joined by my lovely co-host. I'm about to stop calling you the edge lord because edging very good anymore. Just make me fucking come immediately. Yeah, I'm just straight full stroking.
00:01:45
Speaker
But yeah, I'm here with Go-Gurt.
00:01:49
Speaker
That's fine. I kind of like it. Because after I come, you kind of like grab my chest and I pull the rest of it out to get it all. You know what like a gourt Like a Go-Gurt. Every last inch out of it. My fucking lips, not my hands. You can't get every drop.
00:02:07
Speaker
My teeth open and just fucking yank on this shit. I used to do that all the time. i know Not on penis, but Go-Gurt. You ah hey got to get every last drop of that. Yeah.
00:02:25
Speaker
What you said was funnier than when I was, i always thought you were saying that because like your cum is like the consistency of gogurt. No, to make no mistake, sometimes mine is a little gogurt-y.
00:02:36
Speaker
Gogurt-y, yeah, tastes like strawberry or what? don't know, you tell me. Okay. You don't smell like strawberry, that's for sure. It smells like something.
Engagement and Platform Promotion
00:02:45
Speaker
ah um Well, anyways, we are here to review Superman a day late, but you'll get over it.
00:02:51
Speaker
Sorry. And, uh, yeah, um, we're going to talk about that, uh, and some other things, but first we'll do a little plug it in.
00:03:03
Speaker
So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com. Send any comments, concerns. You said follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
00:03:16
Speaker
Start it over again. You need to log into our Instagram. That's the email. Yeah. So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod picks at gmail.com.
00:03:33
Speaker
Send us your gogurt. Send us a voicemail. Five oh eight eight fist us five oh eight eight dip tip six minute limit. Send us nudes.
00:03:47
Speaker
Sex me, man to man. Follow us on Letterboxd. Follow us on YouTube and TikTok if the clips happen again.
00:03:58
Speaker
Life happens. Get over it. I have no comment. Right. Because they can just get over it.
00:04:06
Speaker
And let us know if you want us to start a Patreon. We said that in an episode and no one answered. So I guess we got a definitive answer.
00:04:17
Speaker
Check out our other podcast. yeah yeah Yeah, you want it. I fucking gave it to you. It's on this fucking page. Yeah, you're going to have one coming real soon. You know why i think I fucked real soon.
00:04:29
Speaker
It's been like three weeks since we recorded. We haven't recorded in three weeks. I was I was out of power for an Internet for literally five days in a row. That was rough.
00:04:42
Speaker
That was one week. And the week prior to that, we didn't record because I just didn't feel like it. Yeah. To be honest.
00:04:53
Speaker
We were supposed to record Pirates 3, which is next week. Or Pirates 4. Oh, we were supposed to record Pirates 4. And you're like, bro, this movie's bad. And I was like dreading. still was yet to watch it. It was like 2.30. Yeah, you're like, i don't really feel like recording today anyway.
00:05:09
Speaker
And I was like, okay, that's fine. Whatever. So we need a break. That's fine.
00:05:15
Speaker
Wow. Yeah. So we just didn't record. And then... Yeah, and then we had, you had no internet. We were supposed to record a banked episode. Yeah.
00:05:26
Speaker
And then we didn't do that. No, but I had to, it's done. We might record that drunk and then put it on Patreon. Yeah. Possibly. Uncensored.
00:05:38
Speaker
Uncensored content. I want to have sex with your wife. I don't have a wife, so joke's on you. If you know who who if you know who said that, send us a voicemail.
00:05:49
Speaker
Basically, what we're saying is we haven't been recording episodes. Oops. But you would never know. No, like except for today. But it's because your boy made a little trip to Poe Town be a Poe Town boy once again. and boy, was it...
00:06:06
Speaker
ghetto shout out to the namins hell yeah we saw this superman movie together regal and that screen is tough asshole like okay so the last time i went to the movies i was in theater 16 what did i see
Humorous Anecdote at the Grocery Store
00:06:27
Speaker
was the last thing we recorded
00:06:31
Speaker
Last new release we recorded? Yeah. It would be motherfucking 28 years later? Yeah, that's what it was. And it looked better. Also, i just want to share, since we're here and I was looking at the soundboard, I did get laughed at by, uh, but, like, also because, like, I was being a Nehomin Yoimin, and then a Nehomin Yoimin was like, oh, you're fucking stupid, too.
00:06:54
Speaker
Wow. So, I went grocery shopping last week, and, uh, I went to the... You know how like supermarkets have like a door on one side and door on the other side?
00:07:05
Speaker
Sure. But it's like they're like it's like in the suburbs. It's like split. Yeah. Like you're going walk to one end or the other. So I went to the one end and I, and I turned the corner to go into it and the door didn't open.
00:07:17
Speaker
And then Nima home and no one turned was like, pointed at the other side. And I was like, fuck you. Wow, dude, you can't eat. you have You probably wear a diaper and you're telling me which door to go.
00:07:29
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, i got laughed at, I mean, i like it's just what it is. Did you deserve it though? Yeah, i walked the wrong like a fucking idiot. It's fine. Yeah, but some of those exit-only doors will open for you. You know?
00:07:45
Speaker
Yes, agree. Some of them work, some of them don't. Yeah, so we went to
Superman Movie Experience in Theater
00:07:49
Speaker
Poe Town. We saw this fucking movie, which was fine. What was the... There was a girl who was having like an asthma attack the entire movie.
00:07:57
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what that was. It was little girl. Right in front of you. Just... Like the whole day. Three years old, maybe. And I kind of wanted to like Superman punch her. You know, shout out Roman Reigns. Should have just fucking kicked the seat. Ah, God.
00:08:10
Speaker
Yeah, well, she had a booster seat, so she would have been flying like over. would have boosted into the air. Yeah, she would have. Yeah, she fucking would have. Then I would have caught her in midair with like an RKO or something.
00:08:21
Speaker
Hell yeah. We're going talk about all of that and more, but first, not a commercial break. ah This is episode
Podcast Power Rankings Discussion
00:08:31
Speaker
61. Episode 51, we started something called the Power Rankings.
00:08:35
Speaker
So I said we do it every 10 episodes, so here the fuck we are. Let's get it. Let's update some rankings. You fucking ready? You fucking want it right now? Is there any surprises? All right.
00:08:47
Speaker
Are there any surprises? I would say there are some good jumps. Yeah. um Like a a black guy. Right. Nice. They got good hops. Yeah, they do. All right. So we're going start at 10, obviously.
00:08:59
Speaker
Work way up. Get some buildup. Go on fucking edge. you What idiot. Yo, that really bothers me. People that start at 1 when they mean 10 and they go, um. Yeah. Do better.
00:09:11
Speaker
Okay, so yeah we got the clipboard. What is that? It's a notebook. you've you've You've commented on this podcast about my notebook several times. I know, but it looked like a clipboard from my angle.
00:09:23
Speaker
I'm to fucking clip your... All right. So with 19 gives... 19 gives. We Nope. Nope.
00:09:32
Speaker
um we got nope Well, we got three – we got two movies that have emerged into the rankings and one that's just been there. Oh, wow. So now we got my favorite Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
00:09:49
Speaker
We got Black Christmas. Black Christmas was was number 10 last time we did this at 18. So it's about one a three-way tie? It's a three-way tie. You fucking want it? yeah fuck And then finally, ah one of my favorite, our favorite episodes, get some fucking lovin's Friday the 13th. The first one.
00:10:09
Speaker
Let's go. 19 views. Shout out to that episode. So that's your your three-way tie for 10. People probably went back and listened to the first one and before listening to the second one.
00:10:20
Speaker
That makes a lot of sense. Then we got ah at number nine, 20 views, another three-way tie.
00:10:29
Speaker
Unhinged. So Unhinged got two more views since the last episode. sound like fucking losers, but it's fine. Shout out Russell Crowe. Emerging into the rankings like my penis when it's hard.
00:10:42
Speaker
We got Wolfman. I don't know why. I'm sorry for you. And then another fucking mid movie. Beetlejuice of Beetlejuice. Out of nowhere. Like RKO. Yep.
00:10:55
Speaker
Eighth place at 21 gives... use ah emerging, a brand new contender has emerged. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.
00:11:06
Speaker
who Weird. I'm telling you, we had a good conversation about Snape in that in that episode. but He's the GOAT. Snape, shout out to Alan Rickman. I'll dick you down. You're going to dick down his corpse.
00:11:19
Speaker
Violent Knight at number eight. he This is in the the exact same spot, but it does have one more view since our last discussion on It was probably Jake going back to listen to his own voice.
00:11:33
Speaker
Potentially. Or it was me going back to look for something for clips. they ah And then two more have emerged out of nowhere. Our wildest episode I think ever. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
00:11:46
Speaker
Let's go. and Whiplash. Why is my nipple wet? Are you lactating like a woman? i hope so um Whiplash is a very mild episode.
00:11:59
Speaker
Yeah, what we talk about is mild, but then we say like slurs. We do. We're just quoting the movie. Quoting the movie and not like... which but keep that mind than ours correct Which keep that in mind for the next Pirates recording because there's a certain word that I use that they use in the movie and it's just what it is. It's what it is, cuz. It's just what it is.
00:12:20
Speaker
ah So those are all in eighth place with 21 gives. I wish had 21 bubs. i wish you had twenty one bubes and In the number 7 place, 22 views, a new contender has emerged.
00:12:37
Speaker
The Beefing with Ron Rockstone episode slash Final Destination. Yeah. Tied with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
00:12:49
Speaker
These are all brand new contenders, cuz. ah And then this one is not a new contender. This is Gremlins. But it did get another view, but it's in the same position in the rankings.
00:13:01
Speaker
That's okay. That's a good ep. Now to Gremlins. Here we go. Number six, 23 views. Oh, wow. this is There has been some big changes. Big.
00:13:14
Speaker
This episode got one more view at to beat that 23, which is the best moments of last year. That's a W. Then we got Speak No Evil. It's gotten two more views since the last record last time we did this.
00:13:26
Speaker
Okay. And we got Vacancy. One more view since the last time we did this. So we got a new fan who's just going through and listening all of them. Shout out you. Shout out to whoever started at the beginning and coming all the way to here.
00:13:41
Speaker
Binge me.
00:13:44
Speaker
Then we got at the five spot with 24 views. This or yes this is three Three listens since the last time we did the power rankings.
00:13:56
Speaker
that Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. And... Strange Darling. Let's go. Strange Darling got um two more views since the last time we talked about it.
00:14:11
Speaker
So good for that. At number four, we jumped to 26 views. We're past... There ain't no 25, 26. 26. twenty six This an increase of two views. we got it.
00:14:29
Speaker
We got The ABC's a Death got three more fuck it oh three more weird three more fucking views since the last time we spoke about it. It's probably because Umbrella announced their special edition.
00:14:42
Speaker
that Probably. So strange doing that. And then this one is arguably the biggest jump. It was at 19 the last time we talked about it. The 26. The Poughkeepsie Tapes. Shout out to us, the Poe Town Boys.
00:14:58
Speaker
ah Also at 26, we got two more of you increase. The Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry's Bopper. Harry. Here we go. We got actual fucking corpses.
00:15:10
Speaker
right. We're in the top three now. ah Three is a three-way tie, and then top two are are by themselves. You probably know the top two are, but I'll read you the fucking three-way tie at three. i have three testicles.
00:15:24
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:29
Speaker
At number three with 27 views, an increase of three, Harry Bopper and the Chamber of Secrets. That's my favorite. also an increase of three, Harry Potter.
00:15:43
Speaker
I said it wrong. Damn. era era Also an increase of three, though, The Substance. Okay. the last one, increase of two views,
00:15:56
Speaker
ah So last time we did this power ranking was solo. This time it's tied. Cuckoo. 27 views. Cuckoo. poop Mid-ass movie. Fucking mid-ass movie. Yeah. um Number two and number one are pretty guessable if you want to give it a shot.
00:16:15
Speaker
You know what number one is, so try to guess number two. Is it Harry Bopper and the Sorcerer's Stone? i already said that. oh shit Is it a bopper? Nope.
00:16:27
Speaker
No bopper. it was It was episode we were very like we we were like, that's a good ep, early. Early, huh? it was our It was our pride and joy early.
00:16:39
Speaker
Early ep.
00:16:42
Speaker
It's a pretty big one, cuz.
00:16:46
Speaker
Is it scene by scene? Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:52
Speaker
the fuck did we do do you not care what the podcast anymore what do you mean why is it so hard to get it was number two last time you think i remember what we said this is a big this this is a big record this is a big this is a big episode for us friday 13th part one already i just said that oh yeah you said that oh no just earlier than it earlier than that no you have to get this you fucking dork
00:17:21
Speaker
Earlier than that. Also, what does your shirt say? God is busy. What does that say? Yeah, God is busy. All right. God is busting right now. God's busting in my No, no, no. Don't be going on your phone. Come on, bro. Why? It's in the first five episodes.
00:17:37
Speaker
Oh, it's Alien Romulus. You're a fucking asshole. No, it's not. Pfft. It's Bridge of Terabithia. Jesus Christ, dude. That was fucking... That was rough, huh? How did it take you that fucking long to get that?
00:17:49
Speaker
Because that's a forgettable movie. But the recording's not. No, it's not because... Because it's... Well, I mean, to you it is, I guess. Anyways, Bridge Terabithia increased one view to be at 28.
00:18:02
Speaker
28 listens. And you guys did it. You got our number one. we we crossed the threshold of 30. Hereditary. Let's go. i still reigns supreme.
00:18:14
Speaker
Let's get 5,000 likes. 5,000 likes on what? I don't know. I really hope Poughkeepsie Tapes gets up in there.
00:18:26
Speaker
I mean, right now it's in the top five. I know it needs to be in the top three. But now we have now we have all of like the newer movies that have not been listened to yet. Are like recordings that we got to promote.
00:18:41
Speaker
Like John's the pirate episodes like, come on, bro. We're doing pirate episodes. No views. Like at all. Not no views. You're just not enough to crack the top 10. You know, I mean, yeah, cat in the hat is not that actually that good of a recording.
00:18:56
Speaker
being honest.
00:18:58
Speaker
Star Wars, bro? Revenge of the Sith? Come on, son. You want Tug Island or what?
00:19:07
Speaker
There's just some Eps in here that are questionable. 23 also, Mickey 17. Fuck that movie. I forgot to mention that. i don't know why the recording so high, but it did drop. It was in like fifth place last time. Now it's dropped to sixth.
00:19:23
Speaker
That movie's bad. Don't watch it. Nosferatu also had 20. Good for Nosferatu. New contender. Emerged. It's a good movie.
00:19:34
Speaker
Kind of forgotten most of it already. I remember the end scene where he's fucking her. Or she's fucking him, right? Well, he's on top. And then he dies and like falls on her.
00:19:45
Speaker
On top. Yes. Alright, so we're going to a review on
Superman Movie Review
00:19:52
Speaker
Superman. Pooper main.
00:19:55
Speaker
ah still has a 4.0 average on Letterboxd, which is kind of wild to me. It's kind of just fine. That's high. It is high. I don't like that. I don't right necessarily like this movie.
00:20:10
Speaker
We got your director, James Gunn, who has directed some movies that I like. He's done some stuff.
00:20:20
Speaker
He did The Suicide Squad. That's a good movie. He did the Guardians movies. They're good movies. Guardians 2 is not that good.
00:20:32
Speaker
Guardians 3 is good. I like Guardians 3. Guardians 3, I give a four star. Guardians 2 is still a three star, my opinion. Guardians 1, I would say s tier MCU movie.
00:20:44
Speaker
I agree with that. Top five. ja Why does James Gunn have a director credit for scoop the live action Scooby-Doo? Oh, is writer. Sorry.
00:20:56
Speaker
knew he wrote it. He's a writer. That's why those movies are so good.
00:21:04
Speaker
um Also, James Gunn has been like appointed to bring back the DC universe. This is like going to be his whole his whole thing His whole thing the next, what, 10 years is going to be... He's going like the overseer of fucking the the dc you dce eu DCU. DCU?
00:21:23
Speaker
Because just looking at like producers, right? Like setting big things up here. Producers? Yeah, go to producer. And there's like so many things. You want to fucking produce me?
00:21:37
Speaker
He's doing the super... Like producing the Supergirl movie. The Swamp Thing movie. Didn't that get canceled? I don't think so. thought Swamp Thing got canceled.
00:21:48
Speaker
Clayface?
00:21:52
Speaker
They're doing a Teen Titans movie?
00:21:56
Speaker
Is this Clayface movie the... Why is it the fucking Lego character? I don't know, but it's supposed to be a body horror movie. Yeah, you fucking want it. Well, I've also seen that Clayface is supposed to be the villain in the next Batman movie. The Matt Reeves Batman universe.
00:22:11
Speaker
Interesting. This is also, is this the first superhero movie reviewed on the
00:22:20
Speaker
podcast? Yeah. I think it is. We've not done one. We're 61 episodes in and have not done a superhero movie. Good for us. What a shitty way to start.
00:22:32
Speaker
I mean, I could think of shittier ways in this. Oh, we could do. Are you going to give this movie sub three stars? Are you gonna give it less than that? There's potential? There's potential give it less than three?
00:22:44
Speaker
yeah I mean, only by a half star, but there's potential. ah Spoiler alert. Alright, well, here's your fucking cast, everybody. If you don't know, now you'll know my neighbor.
00:22:58
Speaker
David Corn Sweat. what I need you to suck the sweat off my corn cob. Please. Is it Corn Sweat or is it Corin Sweat? I've heard of just corn sweat, so it's just going to be corn sweat for me. David Caron.
00:23:15
Speaker
Okay, so he's been in nothing. ah Do I have Who That Boy on the fucking soundboard anymore? But he is Clark. He was in Pearl. I guess I got rid of the Who That Boy button.
00:23:28
Speaker
That's upsetting. yeah You know what? It's just what it's just what it is. He was in Pearl. I like Pearl. Pearl's a good movie. Have you seen it yet? No. He's in Twisters. Never seen Twisters or Twister.
00:23:40
Speaker
You should watch Twister.
00:23:44
Speaker
Hit the rub-rub button. Here it is. is that There's like, a you don't see Nip, but like there's Nip, like, protruding.
00:23:53
Speaker
Protruding Nip heard. So he's Superman, a.k.a. Clark Kent. We have Rachel Brosnan, who plays Lois Lane.
00:24:04
Speaker
I'm probably giving it to her. I'm fucking her. Yeah, I am. Right. going going But we were saying this in the car after the movie. She does not even touch Amy Adams.
00:24:15
Speaker
I mean, come on. She had a bathtub scene like you can't beat that. ah yeah Amy Adams is a fucking piece. So it's just hard to really touch that.
00:24:26
Speaker
Uh, She was also another movie that came out this year, The Amateur, which Gerald and i were hoping at one point was the mystery movie, and then it wasn't. was a fucking Penguin movie. raco ah What else has she been in? Patriot's Day with Mark Wahlberg? She was in that that animated movie that bombed Spies in Disguise.
00:24:48
Speaker
I actually kind of wanted to see that. Is it bad? I've heard it's bad. Yeah. She's been in a whole lot of nothing. And then we're going to move on to the next person, but we are fucking her.
00:24:58
Speaker
ah Nicholas Holt plays Lex Luthor. I mean, if you don't know who Nicholas Holt is, what are we doing? He's kind of a piece. Nosferatu, The Man U, Mad Max.
00:25:10
Speaker
I do not remember him in Deadpool 2. Me either. Oh, he had a cameo. X-Men? Renfield? He was in The Favorite. He was in Juror No. 2.
00:25:24
Speaker
I mean, a lot things for all the rom-com lovers, warm bodies.
00:25:31
Speaker
Um, he is kind of a piece. What about David Cornswept? Is he a piece? He's like fine, right? He's like, he's just fine. He's the stereotypical Superman looking guy. know? Yeah.
00:25:42
Speaker
Yeah. He's better looking than him. Whoa! you gonna fuck him over Henry Cavill? I think so.
00:25:53
Speaker
Henry Cavill, I would let him do terrible things with What are you... So, wait a second. We're not moving on from this. you're Wait, are you taking David Korn sweat my balls off over Henry Cavill as a fucking it?
00:26:09
Speaker
As a fucking it, yeah, but not as a Superman. Okay. I would personally prefer Henry Cavill... If I was going to get fucked by a man, jay door A was Henry Cavill and door B was David Cornswet, would probably pick Henry Cavill.
00:26:26
Speaker
What's door number C? Is it like chair-bound, ridden Christopher Reeves? It's me hiding in the closet. Oh, okay. Why? Oh, ah just kidding.
00:26:41
Speaker
like Yeah. Pretty sure he's dead now, but shout out to Christopher Reeves. Yeah. um Next we have Edie Gathaggy. Yo, what's up, Gathaggy?
00:26:54
Speaker
not go yeah ah This guy's cool, man. He plays Mr. Terrific. He gives off big autism vibes. I'm sorry. Just his character in the movie.
00:27:05
Speaker
think he was good though. was the best character. don't know if was the best one, but he was good. I liked him. He was in Crank. Have you ever Crank? No, but... He literally has to keep cranking his fucking hog stay alive, dude. I'm telling you. Oh, it's Jathan's Tatham.
00:27:21
Speaker
Yeah, it is. No, it is. No, but he has to keep his heart rate up to ah to stay alive because he gets poisoned. That's kind of cool. There's a COD game mode called Crank, and you got to keep killing to stay alive.
00:27:33
Speaker
Yeah, so at one part, he starts fucking a woman to keep his heart rate up. That's kind of fire. Yeah. He's in Twilight, apparently. have I've seen the beginning of it. He was in Gone Baby Gone. I don't remember him this movie.
00:27:47
Speaker
That's fine. ah He was in the My Bloody Valentine remake. Is that a rot row? Yeah, don't watch that movie. Who is he in X-Men? oh is he is he Nightcrawler?
00:28:01
Speaker
I'll lose my shit.
00:28:04
Speaker
No. Where's this fucking kid? He's Darwin. That's gay. All right. um Would you fuck this dude? If you're fucking him with or without the makeup. Well, since he's already black, he can't be blackface, right? But it was giving off big blackface vibes.
00:28:20
Speaker
I don't think it was giving off blackface vibes. It was giving off like classic black mask over the eyes trying to hide my identity kind of thing. Oh, okay. ah No, I'm not. And it's not because he's a Yameen.
00:28:31
Speaker
It's just because he's not very attractive. Yeah, I mean, he's no 50 cent. You know what I'm saying? I just feel like if you zoom in on his face, that could be a woman. He had a bitch.
00:28:42
Speaker
He got a big forehead. He got a bald Bald forehead, not bald head. but But he was very good in this movie. yo I would agree with that. You growing forehead hair? What's going on? ah We got Anthony Kerrigan who plays Metamorpho. I believe this is the element man is what they call him in the movie. Yeah, this guy really got a bullhead coy he's got got ball got a ball head.
00:29:05
Speaker
Big. Big cancer vibes. um not no I don't know anything else he's been in unfortunately. He was in Trick or Treat, Scooby-Doo. That movie's good. Hmm.
00:29:19
Speaker
ah Next, we got Nathan Fillion as Guy Gardner. I actually didn't mind Nathan Fillion in this movie. I thought he was decent. Yeah, he was. it He's not fuckable in the movie, though. That's a skip.
00:29:31
Speaker
No, he's got a yeah like a coconut head. He's got a bowl haircut. Yeah, ah he looks like OG Justin Bieber. But I think I looked at you and I said, I was like he i like him as Green Lantern. you know um I'm fucking it.
00:29:45
Speaker
Yeah, I still would prefer the non-mean Green Lantern though. You what mean? Yeah, give me some Jon Stewart portrayed by like someone. Jamie Foxx. Yo, get Jamie Foxx. What?
00:29:58
Speaker
Jamie Foxx Jon Stewart? No fucking way. That's terrible. not That's the wrong button.
00:30:06
Speaker
Uh... So Nathan Fillion plays Guy Gardner, who is a Green Lantern member. Then we got Isabella mar Merced, who is Hawkgirl. Let me tell you something. going Fucking piece.
00:30:24
Speaker
She can peck me with her beak. She was an alien Romulus. We did talk about her, and I'm pretty sure I said she was a piece back then. And she's also in Madam Web. That's a rut row.
00:30:37
Speaker
She's also in Transformers. I don't know which one of this is. The Last Knight, 2017. Oof. It's got a two-star average. Rut row? And the live-action Dora. Is she Dora? I'll shit my pants.
00:30:49
Speaker
Oh, my God. She's Dora. Oh, my goodness. When are we going to review this movie for the podcast? With the bust on Dora. You know what mean? Vamanos. Why they? How? Ha, ha, ha.
00:31:01
Speaker
yeah How hard do they have to reduce her tits in this movie? Because she's a kid? Well, I don't know if she's a kid in the movie. Maybe it's Dora all grown up. Hey, yo. Dora's exploring her sexuality.
00:31:16
Speaker
ah you Exactly. ah We got Maria Gabriela De Faria, who is the engineer. This chick in the movie was given off.
00:31:27
Speaker
i Yeah, I didn't. Not my thing. She had like dreads or braids or something. yeah I mean, make no mistake in the picture on letter blocks. I'd fuck it.
00:31:41
Speaker
But in the movie, it's going to be a skip, a big skip. And she's also in nothing. Correct. then we done a sky She's in a movie called The Exorcism of God. Of a God, who's not real?
00:31:56
Speaker
ah Hold on. Letterboxd. Take a breath. It's okay. We got Skylar Gizondo. Gizondo. ah Who plays Jimmy Olsen. Shout out to that tight end named Jimmy Olsen back in the day.
00:32:10
Speaker
oh true? ah was in a lot of shit, I just realized. He's in The Amazing Spider-Man. As who? but and And The Amazing Spider-Man. Was he Osborn?
00:32:25
Speaker
No shot. No, he was not. I'm wrong.
00:32:30
Speaker
What's this kid's name again? Jisondo.
00:32:34
Speaker
I don't see him. Pretty deep. But why is he in both of them if he's so far down? and Stacy, is that Gwen's brother? ah could be Gwen's boy, other boyfriend, other piece.
00:32:48
Speaker
But why would he, ah if he's her boyfriend, why is does it name his name her last name?
00:32:55
Speaker
Oh, you got me. It's going be Gwen's father? My father. No, this guy's young. Jizzando. Well, he was born in 96. Also, July 22nd, which is like four days from today. So happy birthday to you.
00:33:13
Speaker
Wait, he was in Halloween. Rob Zombie. Was he Michael? That's a bad one. No, he wasn't, dude. Come on. No, was he Child Michael?
00:33:23
Speaker
Michael Myers? He was Tommy Doyle. Tommy Doyle. Shout out to Sid Haig. True. R.I.P. R.I.P. all alright pay
00:33:35
Speaker
Definitely want to shout Michaela Hoover, who was Cat Grant, and she was just in every scene with her fucking tits out. Yeah, they were fucking honking everywhere. and They purposely had her jump up and down. Yeah, they did.
00:33:47
Speaker
We got Pruitt Taylor Vince, who plays Pa Kent, and Neva Howell, who plays Ma Kent. The jump scare for me of this movie was Bradley Cooper as Jor-El.
00:34:00
Speaker
Yeah, out of nowhere. All the... My father was a raccoon.
00:34:12
Speaker
Yeah, what the fuck? Michael Rooker was Superman robot voice? Didn't know that. That's kind of insane. out to Michael Rooker. Shout out Henry. And I'm like, what can I do?
00:34:28
Speaker
Yeah. fucking want it. um We also got Frank Greer who plays Rick Flag. This dude's a pretty good actor. He was in ah Captain America and the Winter Soldier and had a pretty good fight scene with ah Chris Evans.
00:34:40
Speaker
This guy kind of looks too hot. Chris Evans is pissed. That was for Chris Evans, by the way. That wasn't for him. Yeah. You want it? Is there anybody else we should shout out in this cast?
00:34:54
Speaker
Oh, John Cena. Oh, yeah. Uncredited. Special little appearance as Peacemaker. Shout out to him. this was That was a well-done cameo. tell you should do a goddamn cameo.
00:35:08
Speaker
Yeah, because Clark is watching TV and Peacemaker is getting interviewed about Superman.
00:35:18
Speaker
Yeah, and I'm fucking John Cena. know if you're fucking him or not, but I'm fucking him. Of course I am. I'm going to bust all over his balding head. Even if I didn't find him attractive, I would do it for the clout. Yeah, be like, I fucked a 17-time WWE champion before he retired?
00:35:37
Speaker
You know i mean? Yeah, I do. Also, you've you've already noticed how fucked up that man's elbow is. That shit's wonky looking. He's had like a surgery on it, though, and it's not fixing it.
00:35:49
Speaker
It ain't fixing it. You need to fix that shit, John. You got money. You got DC money. Bro, you got wwe wwewe Been working the but the fucking business for seven, how many fucking years? More than 17. Since 2002. 23 years you've been working this biz, bro?
00:36:07
Speaker
Come on. You got money. Fix that shit. all right. Anyways, we're going to move on to our Conor. Talking about the movie.
00:36:19
Speaker
Yo, you see Conor McGregor's piece?
00:36:24
Speaker
You fucking dweeb.
00:36:29
Speaker
Cut all that. My father was a dweeb. My father was a fucking dweeb. He made me wear the dunce cap, and then he stuck it up his ass.
00:36:43
Speaker
Then he sat on it.
00:36:47
Speaker
It's never been the same since. Oh, wow. Fuck like a father? What's going on to the right of you? Is the sun coming up? What's happening? What do you mean? Yeah, it's like ah all of a sudden, there was like a big flash of light like on a picture.
00:37:00
Speaker
Like God was coming to visit you.
00:37:04
Speaker
My TV went on screensaver. Oh, I thought maybe you were like, the sun was coming up. What? No, the window's over there. Yeah. i I don't know. It's okay. Either way. What?
00:37:17
Speaker
Look, cuz, I want to ask you a couple questions, okay? Yeah. My first question I ask you. Where are you at? Are you gay? I already know the answer to that question, and yes.
00:37:27
Speaker
It's a good fucking chance.
00:37:33
Speaker
We can't do this whole review with Joker voice. Okay. Why not? It's a DC movie. You're fucking right.
00:37:42
Speaker
fucking' go on it what's your question all here's my question how do you feel about the movie man of steel are you are you pro are you con i'm pro man of steel i yeah i personally love man of steel i think it's a great movie i gave it a four and a half i don't know if you're that pro on it but i'm i'm that pro on it i haven't watched it in the letterbox era era error era But you like it.
00:38:10
Speaker
I do. like that. I mean, low-key? Mm-hmm. I don't think it's low-key. I think it's high-key. and No, like, Lex Luthor as a villain is just kind of overdone.
00:38:23
Speaker
Don't you think? Like, they did Superman movie does Lex Luthor. Like, General Zod's a goat. Also, they had Michael Shannon be General Zod, and he's a good actor.
00:38:34
Speaker
Right. um no no Nothing against Nicholas Holt. Nicholas Hall was one of my favorite parts of the entire movie. Yeah, but towards the end, I feel like he goes a little over the top, like batshit insane. Yeah, but if you're a supervillain, I guess you're supposed to be. Yeah, but Lex is never really like that.
00:38:57
Speaker
You know Lex? Yeah, personally. You guys text? Send Snapchats to each other? They call them Cryptnap your ass? I call them Bald-El. Hey, Bald-El? Like Kal-El, just Bald-El? Bald-El? You know what's that, Bald-Head? Fucking pussy.
00:39:17
Speaker
By the way, I... Sorry, go ahead. You think he wore a ball cat? yeah Or did he shave himself? Nah, bro. He wore a ball cap. You know Hollywood got those nice prosthetic ball caps for him?
00:39:28
Speaker
Yo, give me a prosthetic ball head. Yeah, prosthetic ball head. Spit shot my ball head. Yeah, I'm about to get put some elbow into that bitch. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?
00:39:41
Speaker
Hi-yah head ass. You know what I mean? I also... Hi-yah. Hi-yah head ass. Those, I mean, those could be cows. Yeah. yeah Yo, Hayahed ass is crazy, dude.
00:39:55
Speaker
Yo, you go to Tiger Shulman's, you a Hayahed ass.
00:40:02
Speaker
ah By the way, I just never understood how my family was so fucking poor when their last name was Shulman. I'm like, bro, Tiger fucking Shulman's? Y'all got no money?
00:40:16
Speaker
Anyways, Hayat Headass is crazy. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. It's Jackie Chan. Hayat Headass. Yo, you know Hayat Headass. Yo, but also Hayat Headass transcends race. Like Keanu Reeves is a Hayat Headass. That's true because he'd be doing mixed martial arts.
00:40:34
Speaker
Yeah, he'd be doing mixed martial arts on everybody. And that dude who is the IP man. Yeah. Like, what is it? I forgot his name. IP man.
00:40:45
Speaker
It's a good movie. I would recommend that to everybody. w His name is Donnie Yen. He was in John Wick 4. Oh, yeah. Donnie Yen? And then you got Booswee?
00:40:57
Speaker
Booswee? Yeah. He fucking karate chopped your head ass. Hayah head ass is so funny, though. Yeah. Hayah head ass. And there's that other guy, Jet Li.
00:41:07
Speaker
Not related to Bruce. We gotta review some kind of – we gotta review like Rush Hour to talk about Hayah head ass. It's a comedy. I know, but Hayah Headass is also comedy.
00:41:18
Speaker
I know, we need to find something with an Asian person. With a Hayah Headass in it. John Wick, Hayah Headass.
00:41:25
Speaker
be No, that'd be hard to talk about. Yay, okay, so he shot this guy, he's shooting this guy. i feel like I could talk about it, because I i fucking love those movies. We also didn't talk about, ah I forgot to mention that a guy in the in the in the cast list who is a Bernie Sanders headass.
00:41:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:47
Speaker
This guy, Zlato Burek, who plays Vasil Gercos. Yo. This guy, remember He was like the guy planted tell about Lex Luthor. He's a fucking lunatic.
00:41:59
Speaker
He's a fucking... Gercos, a.k.a. Gercon, a.k.a. my Gercon. A.k.a. exactly. I would say that guys are not fucking it, in case you were asking. But also, he just gave me big Bernie Sanders vibes.
00:42:12
Speaker
Yeah. Give my gherkin a little karate chop, hi-yah head-ass style. We also did not shout out Sarah Sampayo, who plays eve which is Lex Luthor's little twink.
00:42:22
Speaker
Not twink. I keep saying that word and using it wrong. that means I keep using that word wrong. I know. It's like a gay slang for gay people. But she is a piece, and she could fucking get rinsed.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yes, but she plays like... whole The whole movie, they're like, she's so stupid, but then it turns out she's a genius. think she's using her fucking tits for good.
00:42:45
Speaker
Yeah. She flashed Superman and he went, oh! fucking blinded. That didn't happen in the movie. i Also, like, what, I mean, how strong does your fucking service, service, cervix and pelvis have to be to take fucking Superman's dick, dude?
00:43:01
Speaker
It's probably not that big, right? You can imagine getting, no, but, like, just the fucking power behind Superman, you know what mean? Well, I've always wondered that. ah Yeah, but, ah yeah, I've always wondered that because, like, he can, like, close a door, but you think if he closed a door, it'd, like, break it, right?
00:43:17
Speaker
So I think he can control his strength. If he fucking wanted to, he could just fucking just, yeah, like just fucking break it. Right? Like if he like grabs something, wouldn't like crush it? I think he can control his strength.
00:43:28
Speaker
He must have to be able to do that because if he tried to jerk himself and he just fucking crushed the cock. He'd just rip it off. You Yeah, right. And when he's like picking down Lois, right? What? Yeah, when when he's eating her cooter, fucking blows that cold air on her cooter.
00:43:41
Speaker
Right. Lois's body parts would be all over the lane. He's fucking doing the highway. yeah um he could I mean, and that has to be some crazy ass fucking going on.
00:43:54
Speaker
Well, Superman. Yeah, you know what mean? He's super. He can't give anybody a blowjob because he'll blow him away with his super breath. Right. He went... Yeah.
00:44:05
Speaker
I mean, it also, if he's Superman, no gag reflex. You think so? No way. Can you imagine, like, yo, my weaknesses are kryptonite and I got a gag reflex. Yeah.
00:44:19
Speaker
ah Okay, so this movie was just kind of fine. I think like my biggest thing... It looks like I have no eyebrows, cuz. Yeah. my biggest My biggest thing is, for some reason... i don't Look, I get all all movies, whether we want to believe it or not, are relatively political.
00:44:40
Speaker
They have a little bit of like... They all get released at a certain point, and they all have a certain something to say about something.
Political Themes in Superman Movie
00:44:46
Speaker
And that's fine. This movie was so ham-handed with the goddamn politics that it was, like, distracting.
00:44:55
Speaker
To the point of, like, hey, just make a political movie, James Gunn. Don't make Superman. Like, do... Why are we doing this to Superman? It was literally Israel-Palestine, like, big.
00:45:07
Speaker
Big. Big. You got the Dirk Dirks and then like dudes with guns pulling up on the Dirk Dirks. Like... Basically, they're having... There's two countries. They don't give them actual names.
00:45:19
Speaker
They give have them fake names. And they're having a border conflict that Superman inserts himself into. And then a lot of the plot is surrounded by like Lex Luthor who probably represents America in this metaphor.
00:45:38
Speaker
Supplying one country with guns to ah invade, take over, imperialize another country. what Why are we doing this? What are we saying, James? Why why are we? Look, we're not political on this podcast. I'm not saying I i agree or disagree with the political stand taken.
00:46:01
Speaker
I'm saying, why is this in the movie? Couldn't we done like an edit? different way to go about everyone's like everyone like the biggest complaint on man of steel right is it's too serious it's not classic superman hurrah hurrah christopher reeves type beat right right then you make this movie which is very very yang yin to the yang of man of steel and it's a lot more comic booky up you know uplifting yeah
00:46:33
Speaker
happier And then we're throwing in this like political commentary that just doesn't... It feels out of place. Like I said, if you want to put politics in your movie, I'm not saying you can't. And most movies have politics inserted into them.
00:46:46
Speaker
But Superman to me just does not feel like the movie to do it. And Lex's like whole purpose about doing this is to kill Superman. You don't have to go about starting a war.
00:47:00
Speaker
Yeah, okay. So what you're saying is like the... That whole point was not even needed to have the movie. Right. Lex never has... like Lex always like kind of gets on Superman's side and then betrays him.
00:47:15
Speaker
In this movie, he's like never liked that.
00:47:21
Speaker
Even the scene at the end of the movie... towards the end of the movie with the tanks and Green Lantern is like flipping the tanks over with the lantern and it's making the middle finger coming out of the ground.
00:47:35
Speaker
It's just like, bro, we get it. How on more on the head can you be? um You have to be like riding me to be more on the head. That's yeah. You had to be like literally riding my fucking small dick.
00:47:48
Speaker
And like, do you think that James, like that DC just gave him complete creative freedom?
00:47:59
Speaker
Possibly. Like I can't, see I can't see DC being like, Hey, let's look at what's going on in the world right now.
00:48:08
Speaker
I just don't know. i'm happy. It's not an origin story. Yeah, it's I mean, we don't need that. Yeah, we all know. We already knew what it was. James, so I can see this going two ways. James Gunn, in the films that he's done, like he's already made,
00:48:26
Speaker
has taken, like Marvel is probably not giving out freedom to its directors to like do whatever they want. It's probably micromanaging it a little bit. Right. Because Disney.
00:48:37
Speaker
Yeah. So James Gunn did three Guardians movies, which is three Marvel movies. He also did the Suicide Squad. So if the studios are watching him and being like, we want, these are the guidelines and he's just abiding by them. When DC was looking jumpstart this universe again,
00:48:55
Speaker
and put somebody in charge or like this guy who already abides by our rules and our guidelines will do, we'll do like what we say essentially.
00:49:07
Speaker
Stop, Joe, shut up, girl. I'm trying to do a podcast. But then I'm worried that every subsequent DC universe movie is going to be like too grounded in real life.
00:49:23
Speaker
Like what's happening.
00:49:27
Speaker
You're saying you're concerned that they're going put politics into every movie? Yeah. Real life politics? Like real life politics in every movie. Yeah, I don't need that. The other problem I have is if James Gunn is going to do all these movies, ah we can't keep having the same. Like it was cool when you first did it.
00:49:45
Speaker
ah The formulaic like fight scene setup we're doing. Like there's a needle drop. The camera goes crazy while they're fighting somebody or like it like circles around. and there's like slow-mo, like that fight scene that Mr. Terrific has in front of like all the tents but with Lois Lane the and like the guards.
00:50:02
Speaker
Like it's cool, but we've seen it already. we've We've seen it in three and four whole ass movies right now, James. Like this is your style and we get it, but like do something different. Like this just seems like we're we're just, all right, here's the formula. Let's input Superman. Let's input so-and-so, so-and-so, and so-and-so, and then just make it happen.
00:50:22
Speaker
That's just not going to work. People are going to get bored. Well, I guess people aren't getting bored because movie has a fucking 4.0 average on Letterboxd right now. So, people are still... Fans are still eating it up.
00:50:35
Speaker
I don't think the movie's bad. It's just things that I noticed that are like... If we're going to keep doing this going forward, it's going to get pretty old pretty fast. Because people have already pointed out the Marvel formula to make a superhero movie. So they're going catch on to, like, James Gunn.
00:50:52
Speaker
Right. The DC... The fact that they're not saying that that that james that this movie isn't, like, the Marvel superhero formula is kind of crazy to me, too. Because it is. Just add in just add in James Gunn's, like, stylistic camera work and, like, the way he does, like, the soundtracks.
00:51:10
Speaker
And then you're there. And you don't want both. you You know, the the whole point of like DC is that like they're supposed to be like the opposite of Marvel, you know, they're like the grittier.
00:51:24
Speaker
More I don't want to like say more adult, but like it doesn't have to be like that, but it feels like it's catered downwards. For like the children.
00:51:37
Speaker
I mean, I guess I don't... If it's for kids, that's fine. But, like, kids' movies can still... I've already said this, like, a thousand times. Like, kids' movies can be good. There's plenty of kids' movies you can watch today and like, that's a good fucking movie.
00:51:52
Speaker
But also, kids this isn't for kids because they're putting all this political commentary into it that no one... That no 10-year-old would understand. Or 13-year-old would understand. If you ask any 13-year-old about the Israel-Palestine conflict, they would not know what to say to you.
00:52:05
Speaker
Right. So...
00:52:09
Speaker
The vibe is more uplifting, like upbeat, but i don't I don't think this movie is for kids. I mean, kids are say, it's Superman. And then like you're going to it.
00:52:20
Speaker
I wonder what a parent would think bringing their kid to see Superman, right? And then there's all this political like heavy-handed political commentary. Of like stuff that's happening right now in the world that kids don't get.
00:52:32
Speaker
That they shouldn't have to worry about. Right. Or like try to understand. Like we're supposed to be. Is this a PG-13 rating? Yeah. We're supposed to be going to the movies to have fun and get away from reality, not being sucked right back into reality.
00:52:50
Speaker
For violence, action and language. They do be saying shit a lot. That's fine. Except for super Superman, like when he's Clark, he'll curse.
00:53:03
Speaker
But when he's Superman, he's like, oh yeah like at the beginning, he's like, oh, what the hey? And I was like, oh, God. um That's kind of all I had for the bad that didn't like. I don't think there has been some talk about the CGI in this movie. I don't think the CGI was bad. i don't think it looked bad at all, ever. ah The only thing that I don't think was like super great was that big, big monster.
00:53:30
Speaker
Really? I hate him. It was fine, like you know but like yeah compared to everything else, like Crypto, you had to like kind of like... Crypto was all CGI, but... yeah you could do that too though yeah yeah You could have used a real dog in the scenes where he wasn't like flying around and fighting. you know Do you think, though, if they did that, it would look like the contrast would be too obvious? It would be like, oh, wow, there's a dog there and there's not a dog there?
00:53:58
Speaker
Possibly. That's probably why they did it. I could see that, like... them trying to use a real dog and then was like oh it doesn't look good compared to the cgi i mean that dog looked way better than that fucking what kind of pet did they have in wicked oh the lion cub oh man yeah yeah that was way better than that that was fucking really yeah uh check out our double feature on on glicked gladiator wicked uh there was no setup for the next movie which was a little strange We stayed for the extra end credit scene.
Justice League Speculations
00:54:32
Speaker
Unless they don't know what's coming next. That could be a thing. Yeah. Maybe they were like, let's see how this goes and then do something else possibly. Hmm. Like, take me out on a first date and then I'll fuck You know i mean? Like, after we gotta see how it goes.
00:54:47
Speaker
I mean, I usually fuck on the first date, but that's just me. Well, I'm gonna cease fire. i mean, me too. So, basically...
00:54:58
Speaker
The Justice League was introduced, but not as the Justice League. They're the Justice Gang. Shout out criminals.
00:55:07
Speaker
I don't know. Gang. Gang? You know? I mean, they were – I mean, Mr. Terrific played a pretty big role in the movie. And then Hawkrow was, like, kind of in it for, like, 30 seconds. And then – Guy Gardner was in it for a little bit.
00:55:22
Speaker
Yeah. And I am very curious if they do a Justice League movie. That's going to be like a build up. They're going to have to do kind of like how they did with Justice League before, but better.
00:55:39
Speaker
But is it going to be better? i mean, Justice League is not great. I agree with that. But like think if they do a Justice League and James Gunn directs it, it's just going to be Guardians. But with Justice League characters.
00:55:51
Speaker
And I don't want that. No, I really don't want that. That'd be so bad. We need like at least two more people, right? If they don't put Superman in the Justice League and if that man is not in this universe.
00:56:05
Speaker
How can you have just about Batman though? Right. We were talking about in the theater, like how, like, so I'm saying like, you gotta, bro, James Gunn cannot have, cannot cast a Batman and make a Batman movie, uh, with this kind of formula. Cause it's not going to work.
00:56:20
Speaker
If they make an upbeat Batman movie, I will lose my shit. ah Right. Batman is the definition of it needs to be dark and gritty. Yeah. Except, I mean like the ones that are like, not like that is like Batman forever. Batman and Robin,
00:56:34
Speaker
And those movies are horrible. Yeah. Horrible. They tried, but... they we They did try. We should do all four of those for the podcast as like a series. I'm actually so down. i We can talk about it more off the podcast. Let us know because they're definitely... I'm the clown. Some of those movies...
00:56:54
Speaker
Get it? You want to get nuts? All right. That was Michael Keaton. That wasn't Jack McQueen. What were we talking about? Oh, do not make. i would actually think that maybe it's better for them if they're going to do Justice League to just make a Justice League movie and already like in the Justice League movie is the debut of Batman, whoever that is.
00:57:17
Speaker
Be like, we have our secret weapon. Do we need a Batman, another Batman origin movie? Or another Batman movie? Like, we're living in, the year is 2025. We already have a Batman that came out that did very well. It's a very good movie.
00:57:30
Speaker
That's dark and gritty. It's everything you want in a Batman movie. And the secret's coming. And it's Robert Pattinson's a fucking piece. Right. Are we really gonna ah we really going to introduce another actor being Batman at the same time?
00:57:42
Speaker
No, so it's fine. Make Superman the leader, I guess. Yes. And then add, like, Martian Manhunter. We need him. Give him to us.
00:57:53
Speaker
Please, James Gunn, please. And then... I'd say Flash, but we saw how that went. Well, that actor's also canceled, so there's some space to get under another actor in there.
00:58:05
Speaker
Get another guy or girl or anyone. Who can play... but Give me Timothy Chalamet as... flash i i don't think that's gonna happen but he looks hot i'm just thinking of hot people just hot guys i just want hot men i could i could be wrong but i feel like timothy chalamet probably is probably avoiding the superhero world to not get like stuck too hard into that i mean he's already sucked into doom right and we're gonna make at least one more doom he's doomed
00:58:39
Speaker
Nah, people are like, these but he's bagged out, bro. Come on. like yeah yeah That kid's bagged out. And he's hot. Don't forget that. And he also fucking fist fucked a peach. No, he didn't fist fuck it. It was in his hand. Yeah, and call me by your name. He fucks a peach.
00:58:55
Speaker
That's kind of hot. I'm telling you, go YouTube it. And then beat your meat to it. And let us know how it went. Send us a picture of your gogurt. Or do we get another woman? To play what?
00:59:12
Speaker
Who else is in the Justice League? Justice. Zatanna. Like I said, but she's in there. Carlos Santana? Yeah. said Zatanna.
00:59:24
Speaker
um don't know who that is. She's like a whit meet a Wonder Woman. Do we? No, we don't.
00:59:33
Speaker
I don't know many of these people. Would you look up Justice League characters? Yeah. Okay, let me do that. Batman's the first one. Of course, he's the leader.
00:59:43
Speaker
Martian Manhunter's the third one. We need him. We get Green Arrow in this bitch. That'd be cool. Ooh, Green Arrow would be cool. Cyborg, I'm not like we need Cyborg, but it'd be kind of cool.
00:59:54
Speaker
Damn, Zatanna's down in there. Yo, Dr. Fate? Dr. Fate movie could be sick. Bro, we already did. they already They had Dr. Fate in the Shazam movie with The Rock. Yeah, but like... Black Adam. Sorry, not Shazam.
01:00:07
Speaker
Yeah, but like, do it again. Just bring him back? Yeah.
01:00:15
Speaker
They have a character named Fire, a hero the ability to generate and control fire. and Wow.
01:00:22
Speaker
But do you think they they're going to... How do you think Joe Public will take the movie if they may if they put out a so ah a Justice League movie that does not have the core members of the Justice League?
01:00:37
Speaker
Like, it doesn't have if it doesn't have Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Superman. But they already have two, like, semi-deep cuts. Mr. Terrific and Hawkgirl.
01:00:50
Speaker
I don't think Hawkgirl's a deep cut. No, because you know she was in the original show. Yeah. The 2003 show. I don't think it's a deep cut. But I will give you Mr. Terrific. It's a deep cut. I've never heard of him until this movie, honestly. Yeah.
01:01:02
Speaker
But he was cute. He was cool. Fuck him. Yeah, he could fuck me. Can you imagine they put a movie out? It's Hawk Girl and Hawk Man. And they make Hawk Kid. ah They make Hawk Tua.
01:01:18
Speaker
um
01:01:20
Speaker
Here's the thing though, right? The other problem that I'm seeing with this also is like these these some of these characters are too iconic to like cast, to recast. Like to recast Aquaman and have it not be Jason Momoa.
01:01:33
Speaker
Well, maybe they'll do i mean that. Just bring in Jason Momoa. Yeah, they're like, that those didn't happen. Well, the second one I heard was pretty bad. The fourth one pretty is like decent, though. I don't hate the first one.
01:01:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's not terrible. I saw it Singapore. They didn't happen. Here's Jason Momoa. I mean, they kind of have like the Justice Gang assembling. They got Metamorpho guy.
01:02:08
Speaker
Supergirl. Right? She'll be there. She was in this movie. Yeah, thought it was Sidney fucking Sweeney. That have been way better.
01:02:20
Speaker
Super tits. trying to figure out. I just like looked up like other super tits. yeah but Can we bring in Robin? Can someone bring in fucking Robin, please? Well, they're doing ah if they're doing a ah Teen Titans movie, that's probably to bring him in.
01:02:37
Speaker
They're going have Robin, and then we need Raven, and Starfire. What's Starfire? You know what? You've never watched Teen Titans, dude? i don't know what Starfire is.
01:02:48
Speaker
Starfire. She's like alien-type bitch, and she's kind of stupid, but... Yo, for Raven, we can get... No, that's a bad idea. Never mind. That's a Raven for Raven?
01:02:59
Speaker
Nope. She's gay. No, I was gonna say, like, we need someone that's, like, already goth. Rhea Ripley? Rhea Ripley. Fucking Raven would be sick. That would be pretty fucking sick, wouldn't it?
01:03:14
Speaker
Yeah, Australian Raven. Also, that bitch that played... ah That played... dar ah Dark Phoenix? It's not her name. Jean Grey? In the new one, though. The younger version of her. Yeah, but think about the Teen Titans is they're teens.
01:03:31
Speaker
They're also animated? Who gives a fuck? Snape's fucking white and they casted a non-mean. I guess. Oh, they're teens. Fucking Tobey Maguire was supposed to be college in Spider-Man 1. That's true.
01:03:43
Speaker
getting He was old as fuck. Jenna Ortega for Raven. Okay, that's actually a really good casting. Yeah. ah That was actually fun. You nailed that shit. Thank you.
01:03:54
Speaker
That was well done. Jenna Ortega, will you fucking cosplay as Ravens? Fucking fanboy. into my mind and fuck my mind. The fucking Teen Titans are going to have to face off against the Goon Squad with all the fucking guys at home jerking off.
01:04:10
Speaker
I'm with it. Yeah, we are. We're a part of the Goon Squad.
01:04:17
Speaker
Yeah, so I don't really know ah what they're going to do then. Because that's the other thing too. is like All this schlitz has already been done. So it's like you're... Are we doing this too soon?
01:04:31
Speaker
You're barking up the wrong tree. Aqua... Aquaman 2. Is it 2023? Only years ago.
01:04:43
Speaker
the The second one was only two years ago. And that was like so bad. It was almost straight to streaming. That's tough. But like James Gunn, like also the other like cool thing about James Gunn is he brought the other cool thing. I've said nothing cool about in this episode.
01:04:59
Speaker
ah but A cool thing about James Gunn is he did Guardians, which literally no one knew what the fuck it was. I remember when I was a little kid and that movie came out, not a little kid, but I was like younger.
01:05:12
Speaker
ah And I was like, oh they got She-Hulk. Yeah. It wasn't She-Hulk. It was Gamora. It would be cool if he brought irrelevant group to the limelight.
01:05:25
Speaker
ah so It'd be cool if like he did that with some DC characters and didn't just go down the Justice League route because like right now the ah culture, the landscape of comic book movies is pretty saturated with that shit.
01:05:43
Speaker
Ain't looking too hot. No. ah
01:05:50
Speaker
That's very interesting. I wonder what he's going to do.
Future DC Films and Other Reviews
01:05:53
Speaker
They probably don't know. I didn't fucking say it already. I just want to say one more time. I really, really liked Nicholas Holt as Lex Luthor. I thought he was great.
01:06:03
Speaker
He looked bald. I don't know if they do a Superman 2, which they're probably going to give this man a fucking trilogy, I'm guessing. That's how good it's doing. Trilogy spin-off show up in other shit.
01:06:16
Speaker
He'll probably be in Supergirl. Supergirl got them fucking titties on her too. That's his cousin. She likes going to the bars and drinking. Yo, when you called Superman a bitch at the end, was fucking hilarious. that was funny.
01:06:29
Speaker
What
01:06:32
Speaker
what are you at with a star rating on this joint? I think I'm at a three. but I want to give it I want it when You fucking tell me you fucking want. I really wish I could give it two and three quarters.
01:06:49
Speaker
Sure, but we're not we're not living that kind of society right now because I like it more than I hate it, but I don't exactly love it.
01:07:00
Speaker
It's a mixed bag. Big bag, big backyard. So I guess I'll give it a three because I would watch it again. Two and a half is like, I might not.
01:07:11
Speaker
So I'll give it a three. Two and a half is like, I'm going forget about it pretty soon. I'm interested in where they go. ah All right, so next week we have a review for you on Pirates of the Caribbean ah at World's End. That episode isn't like wild, wild, but it's pretty crazy. I mean, you were the last Pirates episode. You had your feet on the desk and you were rubbing your fake clit.
01:07:40
Speaker
I mean, you're like, is it fake? Wink. Do you have a clit? I might. You don't know. i You're right. I don't know. um
01:07:55
Speaker
that
01:07:57
Speaker
So that's coming out. And then. a weird episode. That's coming out. And then I'm also coming out. And then after that, another superhero movie. We've got the Fantastic Four. And it's going to probably be worse than this.
01:08:17
Speaker
No, I don't think it can. Can it? Yes. he's not Oh, well, yeah, I can. I mean, I don't think it's been worse than this. I have some, I have some. Pedro Pascal is going to make me want to fucking stroke it, but that's about it.
01:08:30
Speaker
We were supposed to record an episode tomorrow on Daniel Radcliffe saying the N word. And that's just not going to happen anymore. Push to the back like the N word. Oh, like the box.
01:08:44
Speaker
yeah so the Yeah. the recording schedule is going be a little strange. Up, up. Figure it out. But you're coming to Boston on Sunday, and we are going to record some Johns.
01:09:01
Speaker
We're going record a Yeah, You Fucking Want Because guess what? We're fucking shopping.
01:09:08
Speaker
yeah I'm backlogged still, son. I got 11 Johns. I'm actually, I bought three more joins at Walmart. Just driving. I was driving back from Poetown back to going straight to work.
01:09:21
Speaker
Forgot my black hat for my job. And I stopped at Walmart to get a hat and then found three joins. I was like, yeah, fuck it. Actually, i should rephrase. One of the joins is for you.
01:09:34
Speaker
Correct. And then two of the ones are for me. Yeah. Yeah. Also, we never do this. Are you going to buy this on physical super main when it comes out?
01:09:46
Speaker
if this steel book If the steelbook looks like the guy. It already got leaked. Or not leaked, but it was already confirmed. It's just him. Like flying in the sky.
01:09:57
Speaker
Is it this? Yeah. That's going to be the steelbook? Yeah. Oh, I am fucking it. mean, what else could they do? It's just that or the symbol. I mean, they could do this.
01:10:09
Speaker
Yeah. It's that girl's tits. All right. Oh, you just logged it. Okay.
Listener Engagement and Feedback
01:10:18
Speaker
ah What? We'll do a little fucking. I totally did this backwards, by the way, and said what's coming out next week before the plug it in. Typically, that happens afterwards, but it's just what it's going to be.
01:10:31
Speaker
ah So follow us on Instagram, twoguysonescreenpod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests, twoguysonescreenpod at gmail.com.
01:10:42
Speaker
Send us a voicemail, 5088 fist us. eight fist us 5088 dip my tip in a can paint. And it's a six minute limit. BTW. need to be EWs.
01:10:54
Speaker
You can't have your dick in the paint can for more than six minutes. ah Yeah. Or else it'll get like on it. Get like eviscerated. Everything we use eviscerated.
01:11:05
Speaker
It's a fun word. Yeah. Follow us on Letterboxd. Follow us on TikTok and YouTube for clips eventually. And then, uh... We love you.
01:11:19
Speaker
We love you. Go listen to Yeah, You Want It. We've been saying, yeah, you want it, and then just talking like that the whole episode, because it's just what it's going to be. It's just what it is. And you're going fucking want to listen to everything we put out?
01:11:33
Speaker
Leave us a fucking comment. Let us know you feel. Let's fucking know.
Humorous Comments and Editing Decisions
01:11:41
Speaker
ah To the 21 people who listen to Half-Blood Prince, are you still alive? Did you kill yourself?
01:11:47
Speaker
Do you like kids too? ah Speaking of kids, wait, and you...
01:11:56
Speaker
ah Wow. Wow, spoiled. Speaking of kiddy witties, next...
01:12:10
Speaker
Speaking of kids still their diapers.
01:12:17
Speaker
Speaking of kids with pinkies.
01:12:23
Speaker
and Sucking on bottles and nipples and pissing on selves and wang. Speaking of pre-pubescent children. ah I fucked that up. Just make sure we cut that, Nick.
01:12:38
Speaker
Yeah.
Upcoming Anniversary and Personal Anecdotes
01:12:41
Speaker
How many weeks is from now? One, two, three. We're three weeks away, two weeks away. It's two weeks away from our one-year anniversary episode, Mystery Movie Reveal.
01:12:54
Speaker
Yes, Daniel Bryanson. Yes. ah I said Daniel Bryanson. Brian Danielson. Damn it. Yeah, yeah I know. ah That's coming out, and I'm also coming out on that episode.
01:13:09
Speaker
And there's something leaking out of my penis, but i don't know what it looks or what it is. It's go-gurt. Strawberry banana. It's a weird consistency. Also, next week, we're going to see Ghost at TD Garden together.
01:13:27
Speaker
Rats? We're going to bull moose. There's probably going to be a lot of fats. Yeah.
Conclusion and Sign-Off
01:13:35
Speaker
Dressed up in makeup. Maybe I'll stick down a nun.
01:13:39
Speaker
feel like we should fucking end this episode before I say something crazy. Yeah, probably. um So all of that. And then we'll see you guys on Tuesday.
01:13:54
Speaker
Tootles. Fuck you, Marky little bitch. Suck my left nut.