Transcript
Speaker: That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
Speaker: Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
Speaker: We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
Speaker: I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
Speaker: That's how I identify the Doteca e-drunk.
Speaker: a
Speaker: Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
Speaker: Scrub in the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
Speaker: We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
Speaker: Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
Speaker: Hello and welcome to episode 56 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast, aka the Hemorrhoid Homies, aka the Poe Town Boys. I am here with the Edgelord himself, Gerald, as always.
Speaker: My name is Nick, and we have a the promised fan-requested episode from one Ron Rockstone. One... o Fuck you. No, I'm kidding. ah but Not you, Ron, but kind of you, because now we've got to review this movie.
Speaker: Yeah, right. Fuck you, Ron. Yeah. Fucking Ron. The only thing that's good about this movie is the entire time Anne Hathaway was on my screen with my schwans was dripping. Your schwans? What is your schwans?
Speaker: Schwans dripping. Oh, your schwans? Oh, man. It's Dutch for penis. What do you want? Oh, wow. That's funny as fuck. I've been listening to a lot of ah Dutch slash German trap meme rap.
Speaker: It's crazy. Yeah, you sent me that song. I just haven't had a minute to listen to it yet. Oh, yeah. Speck is the Deutsch bitch. I'll get to it.
Speaker: I'll get to it. I'll get to it. That's good. This is the thing, right? This is how we have to think about this. We were just talking off pod. We're reviewing a bad movie, right? But we might as well have fun with it.
Speaker: And it's not necessarily a bad movie, right? No, it's a bad movie. The acting's good. o e The plot is just not for us.
Speaker: So when I was like, i when I sent this the screen, like the Snapchat to everybody, ah you know, watching Devil Wears Prada, right? And literally all the girls were like, oh my God, that movie's great.
Speaker: And then I was literally texting him the whole time. I was like, this shit is gay. Like,
Speaker: not no why am I watching this? This is not for me. This is not for me. but that. Keep it in. No, we can't on the Patreon. We can't. We don't have one yet.
Speaker: Write in if you want a Patreon. Literally let us know. We'll make one. We'll make one. No effort. And it's just literally I don't even care about doing a Patreon for the money. If you just want to hear us fucking rip it, that's where would it if we had one.
Speaker: And like we probably won't have tiers yet. Be one tier. No, be one tier. Five dollars, right? Five dollars. yeah don't We could do less. and we fine all Three? three.
Speaker: yeah you could do three How about three? Why don't we do four? Because you can split it even. Oh, two to two. Yeah. But Patreon takes their cut, right? Oh, yeah. So five. Five dollars. Yeah. Five dollars. All right. Five dollars.
Speaker: Yeah. um Let's do a little. Whoops. All all right. Cox hard now. Yeah, yeah, it is.
Speaker: Plug it in, plug it So follow us on Instagram, TwoGuysOneScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to TwoGuysOneScreenPod at gmail.com.
Speaker: Follow us on YouTube and TikTok for the clips when we start making them again. Sorry, we've been busy. It's what it is. It is what it is, cuz. Follow us on Letterboxd. Send us a voicemail, 508-8-5-Dust. 508-8-Dip-Tip, six-minute limit.
Speaker: And if you send a movie request on voicemail, it automatically gets bumped to the top of the list. Which we said. Ron. Ten episodes ago.
Speaker: Uh, yeah. It's our podcast. We'll do whatever fuck we want, really. our This is our podcast. You know? are We are trying to be for the people. Right. When the people are right, we're for them.
Speaker: Right. when they When they ask for good movies, you'll get it. Even when they ask for bad, we're here doing this fucking movie. We're here. Yeah, we're literally here. Now, look, did it take 10 extra episodes to get here? Yeah, but thanks for your patience, you goddamn troll.
Speaker: It's alright, right? Yeah. You're getting what you want. Right. And we're going to start rubbing one out all over the counter now. Right. Right.
Speaker: Shout out our intro. Go listen to My Bloody Valentine. I think that's one where it is. It sounds about right. Yeah. And obviously in special, special months, we're not going to do requests like Halloween month.
Speaker: Sorry. Christmas month. Sorry. Yeah, but if you, if you call in, You're like, you're getting ahead. You're like first in line for when we're out of those months. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Maybe call in now to suggest a movie for Halloween or Christmas. That's what I was going to say. Don't be calling in October for horror month. It's already planned out.
Speaker: It's probably going to be planned out probably August. Yeah, it's done. It's good. Yeah. We were planning out when we first could made this podcast. We were planning August. We were planning horror month out in August. Yeah. And recorded in September. So the same thing is probably going to happen this year.
Speaker: Right. And honestly, like half of it's already planned. Because we really want to review certain movies. so Yeah. Even horror Christmas month is basically planned out. Right. We're not a horror podcast.
Speaker: Swear to God, we're reviewing Devil Wears Prada. Yeah.
Speaker: So now we're going to review ah ah movie for gays. We're going review the entire series. Ron didn't sound gay on the phone, but...
Speaker: If you like this movie, I'm generally concerned about your sexuality. i don't care what sexuality you are.
Speaker: Yeah, no, no, no, no. In this political climate, you should be concerned about your sexual fucking... Your sexual preference. Like you do you, bud? Yeah. I don't care if you suck dick on the weekends. That's fine. That's fine. I'd do it too, but... For free even. For pleasure. For the sport.
Speaker: Suck dick for sport. Dick sucking? Yeah. in the Olympics. Who can go faster? it on your resume. suck dick for sport. That's hard work. That's commitment. It is. Also, your dick sucking sounds, you've made them a couple times. They're pretty...
Speaker: Decent. They're a little too good, I would say. Well, I'm sorry. I'll be sorry to God. Speaking of dick sucking, you know in the Diddy trial, his wife, girlfriend, whatever, right?
Speaker: She said she diddy would covered in bruises? Yeah, that and Diddy would hire male prostitutes to cuck him, right? But she said that it would happen so often that she got sores on her tongue from performing oral sex.
Speaker: Oh, poor woman. Poor woman. AKA, fuck Diddy. Fuck Diddy. Fuck Ron. i wonder if Let's not put Diddy and Ron in the same sentence. That's a little cruel. that's a alone That was cruel. ah i would Do you think, though, that they ever thought, like, okay, the guy, how about you just come suck my dick? Like, Diddy's dick?
Speaker: Like, he's got bored of this? Like, I'm tired of this. Maybe. Was he fucking dudes? I don't know. I haven't like listened that big in a while. Kanye fucked his cousin. all right i don't yeah And dudes.
Speaker: And posted about it. Yes. um Alright, so here we go. got The Devil Wears Prada. 2006, a post 9-11 movie. Directed one Dave Frankel. i gotta bring director directed by one dave frankel ah who also directed Band of Brothers. I have not seen that movie.
Speaker: He directed Marley and Me, aka the only movie that I actually cried at. Uh... kind of it for his... How go from directing Band of Brothers to this?
Speaker: I don't know, but to each their own. Try and diversify a little bit. Alright, so we got movie stars Meryl Streep, who plays Miranda Priestly. So yeah we spoke about this, kind of.
Speaker: You want to give it to her. Meryl Streep can get it, dude. I don't care. don't care.
Speaker: mean, if I'm bored and got nothing better to do, I'd probably run through her, but like... I'm not like, I'm not chomping at the bit to fuck her. Meryl Streep got it going on, dude. You think she's the hottest one in this movie?
Speaker: No. Okay, good. All right. All right. Good. Good. I'll tell you who the hottest one in this movie is. Yeah. I have a feeling it's the next person on the list. It's not. Oh, is it Tom Brady's wife?
Speaker: Who's Tom Brady's wife? The friend that talks shit. I forgot her name. Serena. Gisele Bundchen. That's Tom Brady's wife. She's in this movie?
Speaker: Yeah. she's She's friends with Emily Blunt's character and they talk shit. Oh! That's Tom Brady's wife.
Speaker: That's Tom Brady's wife. right. Well, let me know when we get there. So... We got Anne Hathaway.
Speaker: We got... She's Andy Sachs in movie. We got Emily Blunt, who plays Emily. I don't... I... Oh, was going say Emily Blunt's the hottest one in the movie. You're crazy.
Speaker: Respectfully, you're nuts. She's the hottest one? Yeah. Yeah. I think it might be the accent. The British accent might give it to her. I mean, I'm giving it to her, but...
Speaker: It might give her the edge. Damn, bro. Really? Emily Blunt? She kind of looks like a bird to me. All due respect. A bird? yeah this picture I mean, this picture, in no hurry I mean, she's wearing a Waldo sweater. Yeah, they picked a bad, bad picture there. but Let me pull up Emily Blunt real quick.
Speaker: Yeah, I'll be honest. These pictures online are hotter. Oh, John Krasinski's been in that? All right. I mean, yeah, she she was in a Quiet Place. They probably fucked on the um set of Quiet Place. God! there
Speaker: I don't know. She's fine to me. i don't... Yeah, I've seen i don't like it. Quiet Place is fucking stupid. I will not tolerate...
Speaker: so okay. I give it a two. It's a good premise. Yes. Yes. Good premise. I don't find Emily Blunt attracted, but it's what it is. um Next up, we got Stanley Tucci. Get it, dude.
Speaker: nine nine nine We got Stanley Tucci.
Speaker: Yeah, he looks like that guy. ah What's his name? I think it's...
Speaker: From Law & Order? Christopher Maloney? No, he looks like Mark Strong, who I always get them confused. And Mark Strong also looks like Christopher Maloney. They all look the same. It's like the same dude. They're all the same person. I don't know these fucking white men. he kept talking old men He's Nigel in this movie. And then we got Simon Baker, who plays Christian Thompson.
Speaker: He's like, what you were saying, like too attractive? Where it's like ugly. You know what mean? Like he's so like unnecessarily hot. Right. ah We got Adrian Greiner who plays Nate.
Speaker: He's just ugly as shit. Yeah. And not actor. ain't fucking it. He ain't fucking it. We got Tracy Toms who plays Lilith Tanamin.
Speaker: We got... He ain't fucking it. Sorry. And it's not because she's a Yamin. You're just not hot. Right. We got Rich Sommer.
Speaker: He's been in a lot of shit that I haven't seen. So the only thing that i've ho add this guy's been in that I've seen is Summer of 84. I haven't seen that. It's good movie. You see it. We got a serial killer in a small town in the eighty s We got Daniel Sanjata who plays, ah I scrolled too fast, James Holt.
Speaker: Sanjata? Are you a...
Speaker: I don't think so. Says an American actor. God damn it.
Speaker: Yeah, but his ethnicity could be somewhere else. Oh, he could be... o du He was in The Dark Knight Rises with Anne Hathaway. That's for sure. ah We got David Marshall Grant who plays Richard Sachs.
Speaker: Um, we got James Naughton who plays Steven, just Steven. We got Tybor Feldman. nine ah He's iv not Irv Kravitz, Irv rabbits.
Speaker: These are all just not fucking I'll be honest. Yeah. he ain't fucking it.
Speaker: He ain't fucking it.
Speaker: I think that's all I want to talk about. Right. It's pretty much everybody. Yeah, I think I'm good with this. All right, we're doing a scene by scene. If you haven't seen the movie or you're not familiar with the podcast, we talk about every single scene in the movie.
Speaker: ah Here we go. Strap in, strap on. Sit on it, ride it. Whatever the fuck you're doing right now. I'll be fucking shit. Yeah, we're going to try. him So essentially, this movie released 2009 post 9-11. I didn't say that already.
Speaker: think I did. You got the opening credits, which go for a long time, but you're way to walk yeah like wait like you're watching these women get dressed, which is kind of a how you done.
Speaker: It is. A little bit, right? What's better, getting dressed or undressed? you done? How you done? Can you imagine with somebody kinked? He's like, I'm going to stay in the corner and jerk myself. i want to watch them get dressed.
Speaker: That's pretty unique for a king. That'd be easy. like I'm going to stroke it while you get dressed. No, put your socks on first. Right foot. Right foot. Right foot first.
Speaker: I want you to put your but put your shirt on before your underwear. Yeah, right. Yeah. like you're yeah so we watch ah i mean Her name is Andrea, but she goes by Andy. Andy Sachs.
Speaker: Andy. And Andy's got a, Andy's got an interview at Elias and Clark publications. And, uh, she has a meeting with Emily Charlton.
Speaker: Emily is, uh, Miranda's secretary. Um, so Emily comes in and like kind of greets her, but kind of half-assily and Andy follows her like into the back.
Speaker: And, uh, Emily is like Miranda's assistant, as I just said. And she tells Andy about how all these assistants have gotten fired in the past. And that millions would kill for this job. They make that very known. That millions would kill for the job that she has. Like, people are dying for this job.
Speaker: And it's like, she's not getting paid well. Is it like opportunities that can come from it?
Speaker: um i don't think it's worth it
Speaker: No, I don't think so either. I think at this point, Emily gets like a phone call. or She says so like something happens and she's notified that the that Miranda's arriving. And she notifies all the staff. And we watch her pour some Pellegrino. Shout out Pellegrino for Miranda.
Speaker: Pellegrino's good as shit. Carlos, shout out Carlos. I miss you. He says that Pellegrino tastes like electricity. That's what he says. I mean, he's... Oh, like if you put like your face up against like ah an old TV and you taste the static?
Speaker: Yeah, which you're a little... If you're doing that. You've never done that before? I'm not. No. I mean, this is like early two thousand s though, right? When big TVs were a thing. So like we were young, right? So I could be a little Mahoymanoy.
Speaker: Yeah, my... my Uh, my grandmother had a TV that made those, like those crinkly cackly noises. Like when you turned it on. Yeah. for Like way too long. Oh, like, um, and like HD was a thing.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Way too long. But it was in a guest bed. So I guess just fuck me. Right. Yeah. You, you brought in an Apple stock when it was fucking nothing, but I have to have a shit TV. I get it.
Speaker: Uh, Last my sleep over here, grandma. So the staff is like hustling in the office room getting like to like look appropriate. And like they all like change from like slippers into high heels for Miranda.
Speaker: um We see Miranda get into an elevator. And Emily gets out and I apologize for being in like her presence. um Finally, a Miranda arrives upstairs. And she's pissed at Emily because Emily couldn't get her an appointment somewhere. And then she riles off like eight tasks for Emily to complete.
Speaker: uh, Miranda asks who Andy is and Emily says that she's a no one and HR sent her up for the assistant job. Um, and then like Miranda's kind of intrigued about that. and then Miranda's like, actually I sent her up.
Speaker: Like I'm the one that found her. Um, and then Miranda tells Emily that the last two assistants she sent were inadequate and to send Andy in.
Speaker: So Andy introduced herself to Miranda in the office. Um, She moved to New York to become a journalist and admits to Miranda that she's never really read Runway or doesn't even understand who Miranda is. Runway is like the magazine they they publish out of this building.
Speaker: I don't know if it's a real magazine or not. I don't think it is. I think it's is all made up. um Andy starts to talk about some of her achievements, like her her bachelor's degree, whatever degree she has. And Miranda's like, yeah, we're done here.
Speaker: um and on the way out she's like i work hard i learn fast and then uh as she's saying this nigel walks in and he walks right by her doesn't acknowledge her presence um so andy storms out and like nigel just starts talking to miranda as andy's talking so andy storms out um and nigel asks after the fact to miranda who she is and uh Then he has if they're doing a but if they're doing a before and after piece that he don't know about because she looks ugly, according to him.
Speaker: Calling in Hathaway ugly is really crazy. Yeah, but you got to understand Nigel sucking dick on the side. So what does he know? Oh, Nigel, big sucking cock. But yeah, her her outfit was pretty ugly. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, but I still give it to her regardless.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to pipe you down while you're wearing your grandma's sweater. That's what it looked like. Right. Beige sweater, John. We follow Andy out and then Emily comes down and calls her back in and We cut to this dinner where Andy's telling her boyfriend, ah Nate, and their friends, Doug and Lily, that she ah got the job and they go around joking that all their jobs suck.
Speaker: um Nate is a sous chef or a line cook, one of the two. i don't remember what Doug and Lily do. um And then they like cheer us to being able to pay rent We cut to Nate and Andy asleep and they're woken from a phone call from Emily saying ah that Miranda needs Andy to come to the office ASAP.
Speaker: And she tells Andy Miranda's coffee order. ah Andy shows up late with the coffees and Miranda's pissed. ah emily says to mian ah Emily says to Andy that if she fucks up,
Speaker: It's on her head because Emily's the one that brought her in. And the last two, it's sucked ass. So Emily's head is on the chopping block. but I'm trying to get my head on the sucking cock.
Speaker: I don't know. What? I'm trying to get my fucking head sucked. Yeah, I want her head sucking my cock. Yeah, I fumbled the bag on that one. I'm sucking.
Speaker: Emily.
Speaker: Emily says that they have to answer the phone no matter what. um And that Andy's chained to the desk. ah The other girl sliced her hand open and left the desk and an important call was missed.
Speaker: And now she works with a TV guy, which is like, I guess, insulting. Well, yeah. TV guide, bro, bro. 2006. could probably have that little button on your remote to go through the channels. Like what's playing.
Speaker: Right, after all the stack is done and you're done licking the TV.
Speaker: Oh, Emily tells Andy basically her job is to get coffees and answer her phone calls. And Emily's in charge of Miranda's schedule and expenses. And she gets to go to Fashion Week i in Paris to meet like the designers.
Speaker: um And she leaves to go to the art department to give them the book, which is the latest mock-ups for the current magazine. And someone trusted within the building brings the book to Miranda's home at night.
Speaker: And Miranda writes her thoughts in the book. And the book gets dropped off in the morning.
Speaker: Uh, the phone rings and Annie takes a message and she asks how to spell Gabbana. And then she gets hung up on, which I guess was supposed to be funny. I guess. But like at the same time, like go fuck yourself.
Speaker: How does she not know what Dolce and Gabbana is though? Right? I don't know. Like we forgot where she moved to New York from. Still.
Speaker: Cut that. not no But yeah you don't think they know what Dolce and Gabbana is in Nebraska? I don't. No, know what it is. Yeah, i't I have no idea. I don't. Yeah, people live under a rock.
Speaker: Nigel walks in and gives Andy a pair of heels and asks her if she knows what she looks like. um Miranda calls Nigel Thornberry. Nigel Dingleberry.
Speaker: Nigel Dingleberry. Watch out. My dick's hairy. Yeah. My dick is hairy. Up the shaft. I got it. I got to trim my shit. Yeah, it's I actually just trim my shit to be honest. Oh, yeah. I'm not like wrong, but like it's I probably do. we' like Also, I just cracked open new deal around off here. We were in sync for a little bit.
Speaker: I cracked one open about a week ago, so I'm sorry. Oh, I'm probably like only three days behind you. Oh, let's go. yeah cause It wasn't like yesterday. It was like earlier this week. So I'm on my last stick. I got to get more.
Speaker: um So Miranda doesn't think where she calls for Emily, but it's just like the assistant. So it means Andy and Nigel tells her to go over to her. And Miranda asked how many times she has to scream her name when Andy tells her that her name is Andy, not Emily.
Speaker: um Anybody can scream my name and I'll be down. know what mean? Hell yeah. Say my name. Say my name. Nicholas. Yeah, that means in trouble when you say Nicholas. I told ah my new job that. I'm like, yo, if I fuck up and you drop the full Nicholas, yeah that's when it's over. for I understand that it's over for me.
Speaker: Is that how your parents did it? Mm-hmm. Still? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Well, my dad doesn't know what's going on, but like my mom, yeah. uh know i'm pretty i'm pretty sure like when i was at your house sometimes your dad would call you nicholas maybe you weren't but um i'm like now like yeah oh yeah um so miranda tells uh amy that she needs calvin klein skirts and a bunch of other shit that i didn't write down but there's no context calvin klein skirts but didn't tell her what kind of skirts or anything like that she's a shit boss
Speaker: ah Then she asked her to get some dude on the phone. ah And Miranda sees Andy's shoes. um And is like, what the fuck are those? What are those? Emily shows up and gets aforementioned dude on the phone.
Speaker: And
Speaker: Andy asks about what these skirts are. And Emily's like, never asked Miranda too many questions or any questions at all. Like, what the fuck are we doing here? I don't know. So Emily sends Andy to Calvin Klein.
Speaker: And, like, literally Andy's just getting out of the taxi to go into this store. And Emily calls her saying, Marina wants more Starbucks. So going to Starbucks. So you know what's crazy about Calvin Klein? Tell me.
Speaker: So I was on the phone with Jake the other day, right? Shout out to Jake. We were just talking about, like... Friend of the show. yeah I think he wears, like, Fruit of the Looms or something, right? Resident Jew. So... So we found out, right?
Speaker: You know what we need Maybe when we have Jews, I just get a little sound noise like the rap ah but love the but the... The song, they fucking put them in the chair. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Speaker: margo but
Speaker: just hate that We just hit that fucking button. Need to buy Jake a curling iron for his little jaw. Right. Jake got some curly ass hair, though. Does he? He ain't got no hair now.
Speaker: Nah, nah. Ball hair. Ball hair. Anyway, he asked what kind of underwear I wear. I was like, you'll never guess the brand. So he guessed Calvin Klein. Okay, yeah. What?
Speaker: Oh, you want to guess the brand underwear I wear? What was it? Calvin Klein? It's not Calvin Klein, but we found out it's more expensive for one pair of my underwear than three pairs of Calvin Klein.
Speaker: Okay. Okay. Okay. okay Um, I, yeah I think I actually already knew it at some point in time. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Is it one of the ones that podcasts always do sponsorships for? Ooh, it might be.
Speaker: They're sponsored by a lot of people. Like, a yeah, they sponsor. Okay. I'm going to eliminate a couple. It's not me undies.
Speaker: Is it MeUndies off the rip? Off the rip, dude. MeUndies. Off rip. Yo, you MeUndies? Bro. I didn't think you'd be doing MeUndies. another one I was thinking of that that I was trying to get to the name. Yo, first guess. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Speaker: You can get generic colors. Why do you have them that close, bro? Bro, they're next to my dresser, all right? You can get generic colors, right? Yeah. Or. We're not sponsored. No.
Speaker: But you can fuck around and get like. We'll find out. Like some polar bears, right? Okay. Yeah. Hey, or so do yours like grab your fucking nuts are you got like boxers? They're boxers.
Speaker: Okay. This is boring this movie is. We're stopping to talk about underwear. Yeah. i think they're I think they're in the wash right now, but they also have collabs sometimes. So I have Scooby-Doo.
Speaker: It's good thing Gerald washes his clothes, confirmed. thank But yeah, ah like one pair of these are like $36. Yeah. Do you buy them like in a three pack or no?
Speaker: No. Buy by the each? Yeah. All right. Well, let me put you on what I got. um Well, you know what I got. Yeah. So. Small dick. So we found out that one pair of those is more expensive than like a three pack at Calvin Klein boxers.
Speaker: So I was, cause I was making fun of Jake for buying bougie shit. Oh. um Yeah. Like, like things that you don't need to buy bougie. Right. He just does.
Speaker: And then complains he doesn't have money. So then I, that's how we got on this. I was like, Jake complains he doesn't have money. Yeah. He's like, i don't know how I'm going to afford this and that. He's never mentioned me that he, that he doesn't have any money.
Speaker: Hmm. Jake G money. Are you okay, man? No, it's not like that. He's never mentioned money to me, though. interesting. Well, I got Tommy John's.
Speaker: Tommy John? Who'day? Who dat? don't know. So... I thought you were going to like throw your ass cheek. I will if you want. It's Harry.
Speaker: My mom... Shout to my mom, who's not listening, hopefully. ah
Speaker: So, um don't friend request her. ah They don't know your last name, so you're chillin'. No, it's on it's on the podcast. it's here It's here. Did I ever tell you that? It's like right fucking here.
Speaker: If you go on the pod... You, youth the listener, go on the podcast page and you click... Damn, we just dropped it like that. and Cut that. don't care.
Speaker: No, because it's on here too.
Speaker: Why is our podcast not popping up? so I always listen to it. I was going to say it's pinned on my Spotify.
Speaker: Yeah, even when you search it, it says show and then it says my name. And then it has it like two guys, one screen, then my name underneath it. Oh, because you're the... I guess I created the account.
Speaker: I don't know. That's fine. Anyways, my mom bought me a... Tommy John? So we got to bleep my mom's name because I don't need people to know my mom's name. That's fine.
Speaker: Well, my dad's not on social media, so that's fine. My mom is, though. Okay, so we'll bleep her name for now. ah She bought me a pair of these Tommy Johns and then I immediately was like, I fucking love these.
Speaker: But they're like a – it's like a three-pack is like $60. sixty sixty dollars But they're nice. And they grab my fucking cock and balls. They fucking hold them up tight. you got boxer briefs.
Speaker: I got boxer briefs, but they're real nice. See, I'm a boxer guy. They got normal boxers. So I got – probably. I got normal – I was a boxer boy for like all through high school for sure. Boxers only. Even probably through college, boxers only. But I think that – The danglage is probably why my sack is so big now.
Speaker: Maybe. Because I used to wear tighty-whities for like the longest time. Up until like... My dad still wears tighty-whities. I think like middle school. I think high school, I was like, yo, know my my sack and cock are biggins.
Speaker: You know what mean? So we got like I want them shits. You Bilbo Biggins over there. I'm not small penis too. Hmm. What's up? But I think I finally decided like, I want, no, baby, just cold out.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah. I want more room down there. You know, I want to be comfy. So we're opposite. But I, I would, with Jake, I did agree that fruit of the loom is like the, only I will only buy fruit of the loom, like plain white t-shirts too.
Speaker: Oh, right now. This is not the right shirt. um Yeah. my ah this is not This shirt is not Fruit of Loom, but my white undershirts for work and black under are Fruit of Loom only. Oh, yeah. 100%. know those people that will pay like, yeah, my undershirt is like a plain white Calvin Klein. $80. Wasting, bro?
Speaker: For one but plain t-shirt? I mean, we waste money, too. It's just different. You think so? Yeah. we do waste money. No, we for sure waste money. Yeah, I could probably dress nice, but I buy movies.
Speaker: I don't. It's just like what you i mean. I buy. I'm not into dressing nice. I'm not. Okay, look, I'm not going to sit here and say that it's stupid to buy expensive clothes.
Speaker: it It is, but I also do it like this shirt that I'm wearing right now is like $50. Oh, yeah. Like, but i' I'm not trying to flex, but it's just what it's what it is.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. I have band shirts that are like 50, $60. I want to get that ghost shirt. Yo, they're I want you. But I want to use the discount code. I keep forgetting to do it Their merch is hot right now.
Speaker: i like I love. Yeah, some really good shit. I like a white shirt.
Speaker: ah We're 40 minutes in and we're not anywhere. We're talking about clothing. A white shirt is... They're hit or miss, right? Because I don't like the ones that are so see-through that like you can see my knit.
Speaker: Never had that thought. me see throughugh You've never had it like a see-through white shirt? You know what the problem is? but When my nip show is like ah like a dry fit, you get nippage. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: But like these shirts, I don't... But you know what's funny? Shout out to people my at my old job, but they all had a real good sense for my nipples wore and would purple nipple the fuck out of me.
Speaker: Mark's good with that too. It's weird. Like I told this dude I used to work with, I was like, bro, you know my where my nipples are like better than probably your girlfriend's nipples. Like this is you probably touch mine more than touch hers. and that's disturbing.
Speaker: Did you like it? Because this one guy I work with, he wouldn't even just like kind of grab it. He would fucking grab it, twist, like actually twist like hard. Don't fucking hurt. Shit hurt, bro. You can give me a little tease, but don't full on rake my shit.
Speaker: don't i don't even want to tease. No, you don't like your nipples? I'd actually rather you try to stick your finger up my ass or touch the tip my cock than do that. What? Yeah. I mean, I know you.
Speaker: I mean, in kitchens, there is there's grab ass going on in kitchens heavy bike. Not on act like on purpose? Yeah. People walk by just fucking... Hey, you paying attention?
Speaker: It's like a football team. Oh, yeah, but it's not slapping. It's just grabbing. Is that like all kitchens? The ones I've worked in, yeah. Almost every so almost every single one.
Speaker: I'm just saying, because that's fine if it's a thing. like If it's consensual, I mean... don't kitchen um kitchen No, it's not i mean it's not always consensual. It's just kitchen culture. People just do it. I mean, i don't think I'm...
Speaker: In 12 or 13 years of working in kitchens, it's all I've seen it everywhere I've worked. And you do it? Sometimes. And you like it?
Speaker: Yeah, what of it? No, I don't fucking like it. i would A lot of the time it's retaliatory. like If someone grabs my fucking nipples, I'm like, you motherfucker. Yeah, then you just fucking finger him good. Yeah, well, like this one dude would fucking grab my goddamn nipples. And this one time I went behind him, I got my finger like almost in his fucking butthole. Like I fucking just, I like, I stuck far. Like he wasn't expecting it.
Speaker: He was shook. Yeah, he was like, whoa, you got far. And I was like, i fucking know. I got long fingers. Did you try and swing or he was cool about it? No, it's just kitchen culture. It's not like we're fighting. It's just like, know what mean? Like I'm gonna finger your ass today.
Speaker: What do we think about this woman walking by? Is it Yadli? Nah, nah. Welcome back to the segment of let's personalize the people walking by my window. She looks like ah she cut her wrists in fifth grade, at sixth grade for sure.
Speaker: And she probably shops at Hot Topic still. We do too. I was going to say, this sounds like my kind of girl right here. Yeah, she's a little heavyset. Sounds like my kind of girl. I don't personally find her attractive, but to each their own.
Speaker: Like if you have daddy issues, you used to cut yourself and you're depressed, like that's kind of what I'm into.
Speaker: Right. Also, you know what else I i wanted to ask you? um For the best moments, because i didn't write it's not written on the Shared Notes app. Do you know that part? I think it was in Goblet of Fire where Hermione tells...
Speaker: ron that he has the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon or something like that and then we went this whole thing about like yeah we're sad but we just fucking push it down i do yeah i i gotta i guess it wasn't goblet fire because tyler was there it was a different one maybe was prisoner of azkaban no was it later was it order the phoenix i feel like it's order of the phoenix
Speaker: There's an underlining tone of depression. That's like, you know, shut the shit That's always there. Right. Like, yeah, like you fucking suck it. Yeah, you fucking suck it down. Yeah, you put that shit down. Yeah, get the fucking choke on it!
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: Yeah, I want to add that to the list. Because it's when they were having like their their their tension... Yeah. We're just like, you fucking push it. do Like that, that shit. I've been, that's been in my head. Pretty funny.
Speaker: Because you want to get head because you're pushing it down there. I don't, I don't like head. It's so overrated. It really is I mean, maybe we just haven't had it done the right way, but like, yeah, you could, I'll be honest with you, bro. You could price, not you, but like whoever could suck my cup because I'd come.
Speaker: the point The point is like somebody else could suck the shit out of my dick and I would not. I'm like, we'll be here all summer, baby. Right. Buckle in, baby. Yeah. Like get your – Like fucking stretch your jaw out. Here we go. For a minute. yeah Ron, I hope this is what you signed up for.
Speaker: Yeah. So Andy has to get more Starbucks, but somehow we got to that topic. um It's a hot topic. Andy comes back and ah Emily's piss she took so long.
Speaker: And Miranda walks in and drops her coat on Andy's desk and walks off. Not even like a hello, nothing.
Speaker: ah Emily tells her to go pick the coat up and that they'll be doing run throughs. So the phones be running off, ringing off the hook. Emily's going to have lunch with her friend, Serena, who is Tom Brady's wife in real life.
Speaker: Actually, Tom Brady's wife. is out And not Venus and Serena. Cause those are y'all means. I'll be honest. Serena can fucking get it though. I'll be. Yeah, dude. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker: She can play with my tennis balls.
Speaker: I don't. know don All right. Soundboard malfunction. See, we're not racist. No, we love black people. So Emily's lunch breaks me 20 minutes and Andy's only 15. The two of them roast Andy's outfit. They cut to to Andy at lunch and ah Nigel tells her that cellulite is the main ingredient in corn chowder, which is what she's scooping to eat.
Speaker: I want to say this, okay? Cellulite's hot. You got cellulite sent me photos. and No, a thousand percent. That's facts. I'm into that. Cellulite on the ass? On your thighs? I don't give a fuck.
Speaker: That's what's up. I'm game. I'm up in there. Me too. All right, moving on. ah Should we get the button for cellulite? Shout out to cellulite. I'm happy you agree with that.
Speaker: ah Yeah, that's a hot... I think that's a hot take. Is it hot? If y'all have to light cellulite, call in. Tell us about your girl's cellulite. Tell us about your mom's cellulite. I'll lick it.
Speaker: Yeah, sure. Whatever. You're going to lick it like Eric was licking that dump truck in Found Destination? Was it weird? We didn't talk about that. Was it weird that the title card was not until the very end of the movie?
Speaker: There was no title card. It just... Yeah, it an odd choice. It was interesting. It was like the New Line Cinema thing because it went...
Speaker: Right. ah So Nigel gets a call. ah The run-throughs have been pushed up like earlier. So Andy's lunch has been canceled. And they meet Irv Rabbits in the elevator. Good Irv.
Speaker: They meet up with Miranda and she's disappointed at the turnout of these designs. um And there's a part where this lady has two belts to look the same. And Andy smirked because the belts look the exact same. They're like trying to decide what to do.
Speaker: And Miranda asks Andy there's anything funny. And she's like, the belts are funny. And then Miranda like goes on this fucking tangent and roasts her about her fashion knowledge. It's just like very self-centered nepotism.
Speaker: Yeah. And shit that like the norm, like people don't know that. Also, who fucking cares? The thing too is like, you think what you're doing is important. We're all going to fucking die and no one's going to give a fuck.
Speaker: Yeah. Like, nine eight you're making clothes that are like $20,000 for a shirt. Um, we cut to Andy who is ranting to Nate, her boyfriend.
Speaker: And we learned that clackers are people who are around Miranda who worship her and like do whatever she says. They're like, yes, man. That's why Lil Pump's crew went down the drain. It took me clackers.
Speaker: People are should fire Lil Pump. And that was fucking trash.
Speaker: Uh, fuck Lil Pump. Nah. um Yeah, fuck him. Used to make good music. Yeah, at some point. Not anymore. um Andy says that she has to stick it out for one year so she can move on to like the job that she actually wants.
Speaker: ah Then we get a long montage of Miranda dropping jackets on Andy's desk every day, sending her for random shit. She's got a surfboard, get get her dog, a bunch of fucking random shit.
Speaker: We cut to Friday night and Andy tells... Night? Night? Andy tells Emily that her dad's coming in from Ohio. That's where she moved from Ohio.
Speaker: Uh, and asked if Emily's doing anything fun. And Emily's like, yeah. And she walks out. So he's got that. Oh, Ohio riz. Give it a toilet. Why are we talking about this on this podcast?
Speaker: We cut to Andy's dinner with her father who gives her money for rent. um And the dad is concerned because they get emails from her at 2 a.m. and her pay is shit.
Speaker: um We find out that Andy was offered law school but turned it down for journalism. But Andy swears to her father this is her big break. This is the stepping stone. The phone rings. She has to answer it.
Speaker: And Miranda's flight has been canceled. And she tells Andy she's a new and rescheduled. And it's like hurricaning outside. Is that some kind of bad storm? Is that how like the kitchen industry is?
Speaker: Like if your chef calls, you got to drop everything and answer it?
Speaker: No. ah No. Yes and no. I would say, I mean, it depends where you're where you're at.
Speaker: Like for me, right now, since I'm just starting on a new job, if my boss reaches out, I'll probably answer it. If it's like important, I'll answer it. A lot of the time it's like texting, which is fine. If I get like a full blown phone call, then I know something's weird.
Speaker: Okay. So it's like modern. Which is different. Yeah. Like if I get a full phone call, like I should probably answer that. But i've never felt I've never felt the need to be like, I have to drop everything I'm doing no matter what to answer this phone call.
Speaker: Okay. Like I'll say this now, which because I've i've already left the job. i used to get phone calls from a different boss at a different job where I'd see his name and just not answer.
Speaker: Yeah, I get it. Didn't say anything incriminating there about who or what. I've had several jobs in my life. You figure it out. ah So it just kind of depends where you're at and the respect level I would say you have for your boss.
Speaker: But I don't think any like, i don't know out there if people are like, if I don't, I've never had the thought if I don't answer the phone, I'm going to get fired. Right. I've never thought that. Yeah. yeah cause That's fucked.
Speaker: Right. Also, no one's ever called and asked me to fucking find them a new flight. Like, do it yourself. Literally. Yeah.
Speaker: So Miranda needs a new flight, but it's like fucking stormy and they can't get one. um So we see Andy frantically calling all these people. and Miranda's like it's drizzling, but we see a lightning strike behind her um and she's unable to get a flight home.
Speaker: um Miranda tells her that ah she was hopeful, but now she's just Andy's just the same disappointing, stupid slender girl that she always hires, which is pretty fucking mean.
Speaker: And says that she went against her instinct to hire hire should have hired a smart fat girl. um And that's so far, Andy's the biggest disappointment. And you see any like shed a tear and then dismissed from the office.
Speaker: So she's mean. Also, they like in Hathaway body is, you know, she's got it going on. Also, to talk any kind of shit to Anne Hathaway is like, yeah, what are you doing? Like and like a better actress that's like uglier.
Speaker: you know what mean? Right. Right. Yeah. Like she's a piece. Nah. Yeah. Like get that bitch that played like ugly Betty. You know I mean? I don't know that, i don't what that is Actually. It was like a show like the mid two thousands.
Speaker: Um, so Andy goes to talk to Nigel and she kind of like vents and i was like, it's not my problem. Quit. Um, but Amy's like, I can't quit. and then like wants some crap, like wants to be acknowledged for the work she's doing, which is like fair.
Speaker: um And Nigel's like, well, you're not really trying that hard. You're just kind of whining and complaining. Maybe try a little bit harder. Um, and he tells her that the publication they work for is legendary and Andy just doesn't really give a fuck in his opinion.
Speaker: Um, so then she has like kind of an aha moment and wants Nigel to help her change her look. Um, so we cut to Emily and Serena, Tom Brady's wife talking shit. Not anymore, actually. They're divorced.
Speaker: Yes. Uh,
Speaker: They're talking shit when Andy walks in in a new look and they're stunned. And Serena admits that she looks good. We cut to... Andy's like waiting outside of Nate's job and he leaves um and sees Andy on the street, doesn't recognize her.
Speaker: um Then he immediately wants to fuck the shit out of her. Yeah, but like who wouldn't, right? Right. That's a straight test. If you see, if you don't get like a little bit of blood flow in your penis when you see Anne Hathaway, you're probably gay.
Speaker: And that's fine. But, you know, I don't, I don't see how you can not. Right. Even a gay guy might be like, okay, I get it. Right? like Like, yeah.
Speaker: Like, I'll acknowledge it when a guy's hot. we ah Every week we do on this podcast. Right. um like I feel like a gay guy could acknowledge when a girl is hot.
Speaker: We have a next scene is like a montage of of Andy and her new outfits. um And at the end of it you kind of see Miranda being impressed with the the new pieces she's wearing.
Speaker: She got them Jimmy Choo shoes. What do you know about Jimmy Choo? He sounds like a howl. ah Oh, yeah, I am.
Speaker: We cut to Nate, who's sitting at a bar with like the the gang of friends talking about he had a whole semester on potatoes. um And Andy walks in. That did not happen.
Speaker: Oh, that white girl's back. All right, goodbye. so bit Come back. ah bit i mean Andy walks in and brings in... um Brings gifts, and I think it autocorrected, but she brought in $1,100 something.
Speaker: says foam. It wasn't foam, though. Was it foam? It was a foam, yeah. It was like some, it looked like a moon. um She brought some hairbrushes and a purse for Lily, which was like super expensive. Not least something rather like that.
Speaker: Nate tells her that she's drinking the Kool-Aid heavy. When the phone rings and Nate and whoever else play monkey in the middle with the phone and she like freaks the fuck out over it. And she answers and has to leave and goes to this party looking for a guy named James Holt.
Speaker: ah She meets James and he hands her some top secret sketches and offers her a drink. Uh, she then meets enter Christian Thompson, who was like the mentalist that TV show back in the day.
Speaker: Sounds like a Christian Thompson from the Cavaliers back in the day. It was a Yamin. Yeah, definitely Yamin. Yeah. Andy kind of idolizes this dude and he offers to read her stuff, but she's working for Miranda and Christian tells her that she'll never survive Miranda because she's too nice and too smart, which is kind of flirtatious.
Speaker: Oh, this dude's definitely trying to fuck the entire movie. The whole time he's trying to fuck, yeah. ah We cut to Miranda telling Andy to...
Speaker: Move the showing at 1230 with James Holt, so it's been moved earlier. They have the showing. We find out that one knob means good, two knob means great. And if her lips are pursed, as they call it, means it's a catastrophe.
Speaker: For the first time in the film, Miranda calls Andy, her name, not Emily. She calls her Andrea and asks her to deliver the book tonight and to have Emily give her the key. W. Got a big mission on your hands.
Speaker: Are going to fumble it? We cut to Emily giving her the key. ah Andy's kind of hyped. The book's ready at 1030. So they have to like, she's like sitting in the office and wait for the book. And she's told to let herself in and do not talk or look at anyone.
Speaker: And then she's told to drop off the dry cleaning and leave the book on the table with the flowers. Ugh.
Speaker: Um, we cut to her entering Miranda's place and there's several tables of flowers and there's several closets to put dry cleaning and she's kind of confused. Um, when Miranda's daughters, who they call the twins, uh, assist her and like, yeah, just give us the book.
Speaker: So she's like, I can't, but then eventually just goes up the stairs. just like, don't fucking do that. Let's fuck it. I'll do it. Um, and she walks in on Miranda and Miranda arguing with her husband And they make eye contact and she kind just drops the book and runs off, which was very bad.
Speaker: ah We cut to the next day where Emily is like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker: um And she'll be pissed if this cuts her out of going to Paris. Paris. Perrier. ah Miranda calls for Andrea and asks for the next unpublished manuscript of Harry Potter for the twins.
Speaker: So this movie came out in 2009, right? Was it 2009? 2006. You're fucking right. Deathly Hallows.
Speaker: I was thinking it's a manuscript for a movie. Yeah. Oh, no. It was for the book. Interesting. don't know why I thought that. So it was like for the Deathly Hallows.
Speaker: Yes. Imagine getting that shit early. Hype. Imagine, reading but imagine reading part one. It's just boring as fuck. Yeah. Well, the book, there's no like part one, part two. It's just like a full book.
Speaker: No, I know. But like having to get through like part one air quotes. Oh yeah. She's boring as hell. Um, no, i like that movie. So she needs it by three o'clock because the twins are going to see their grandmother, I think was the answer.
Speaker: And it's like already like 12 or some shit. So we follow Andy as she grabs Miranda's lunch. Uh, and she sees Christian's name on a bus and she calls him asking if he can get her the manuscripts.
Speaker: And he says she's shit out of luck. Give me the manuscript. Then I'll suck your dang. Exactly. Uh, Miranda walks into the office with, uh,
Speaker: Andy walk like drops off Miranda's lunch and she walks and says she's not eating it because she's having lunch with Irv and tells her Starbucks at three. And if she doesn't have the manuscript at three, don't bother coming back.
Speaker: Yikes. Get it. Our back. Our back. Get it. She calls Nate and she's like ranting and tells him that she's quitting. And Nate's like, congrats, shouldn't fucking work there anymore.
Speaker: When Christian calls her and says that he has the manuscript and to meet at St. Regis where he gives her the manuscript, not the man you dick.
Speaker: Cause he wants to get later. oh yeah. Yeah. So we cut to Andy walking into Miranda's office and she drops off one copy. and Miranda's like, what are they going to Share?
Speaker: God forbid. And Andy's like, uh, the twins already have the two copies of the book and they're on the train already. And that's a copy just for you. So Miranda's like impressed.
Speaker: Uh, we cut to the apartment. Where Nate's like, yeah, you quit, right? he's like, yeah, I didn't. um And she's actively doing a science project for the twins. Like, this is absurd.
Speaker: Yeah. um And Nate's like, you've changed, but she's like, I'm kind of the same person. I just got better clothes on. And Nate says that he liked the older clothes better, except she starts stripping, which is the how you dine.
Speaker: And then he's like, all right, all right. Yeah, though that bra's nicer. Yeah. Um, we cut some weird kinky photo shoot in a park, uh, where Andy meets up with Nigel and gives him some attitude and says her personal life's hanging by a thread.
Speaker: But Nigel don't know fucking care. He's like, remember your fucking place, bitch. Basically like a slave. Yeah. But she's getting paid. Yeah. I mean, yeah. We cut to a meeting with Miranda and she don't like any of this shit.
Speaker: Um, Emily walks in during the meeting and drops some stuff off and she's sick. Um, and there's a benefit happening that evening she's been looking forward to, but she's too fucking sick.
Speaker: Um, Andy is going to a bakery to get some, uh, something for Nate cause it's his birthday when she gets a call from Miranda. and she says Andy has to go to this ah benefit because Emily's sick.
Speaker: So Andy has to learn the entire guest licks, which Emily's been studying for weeks like that night.
Speaker: Um, I did forget to mention that earlier Andy asked to teleport with an outfit. Andy asked Nigel for an outfit for his benefit. Well, didn't write it here. um So she pulls up to this benefit wearing this fucking nice dress.
Speaker: And then Emily, Miranda, and Andy all meet up. And then Emily tells Miranda who some guy is because Miranda doesn't know he is. And then another man walks over who Emily tells Andy Miranda hates.
Speaker: It has no relevance going forward, but just so you know. Another man walks over and Emily doesn't know his name, but Andy knows. um Andy goes to leave to go see Nate and she bumps into Christian outside.
Speaker: And he offers to introduce her to a New York Times editor and says to come in for one drink. And at first she says yes, but then declines. And she shows up fucking late at night to the apartment with ah with a cupcake.
Speaker: And Nate ain't too happy. Um, and he goes, come on, Nate, you get a fucking cupcake. That's a W. It's fucking in Hathaway. You get in Hathaway snatch. what are you talking about? you get In Hathaway, you can fuck in Hathaway while eating a cupcake. What more could you want? You could eat a fucking cupcake off her ass if you wanted to. Oh yeah. Good smear of frosting over her tits. It's like up to whatever you want.
Speaker: And then I'll help you lick it off. Yeah, exactly. Get two in your, you and two your boys and just go to work.
Speaker: Just go to fucking work. ah um He tells her she looks pretty and goes to bed. Andy feels bad. We cut to Andy dropping off the book and Miranda calls for her.
Speaker: so She's like in Miranda's house. She goes upstairs and Miranda tells Andy that she's going to Paris with her and Andy doesn't feel like taking Miranda's spot where Miranda's like, if you don't fucking go, I'll ruin your career.
Speaker: How about that? We cut to the apartment and Nate asks if she's coming to bed, but she's not because she's looking at pictures of her parents.
Speaker: ah The next day, Miranda drops jacket and purse on Emily's desk this time, not Andy's. Miranda tells Andy to tell Emily she ain't going to Paris. ah So Andy calls Emily, who was like actively working, like picking up scarves or something.
Speaker: Yeah. And she's trying to talk to her when Emily gets hit by a fucking taxi. she's but And Emily is basically getting downgraded and Andy is now in her position. Right.
Speaker: So we cut to the hospital bed where Emily has just been told she's not going to Paris and she's pissed. um And she tells Amy that she sold her soul and says the clothes are going so nice. She don't deserve them because she fucking care.
Speaker: And all this while she's downing pudding. She was making sloppy noises. I was kind of with it. Who was?
Speaker: ah Emily. She was eating pudding. Oh, right. it's should I was like, God damn measure. That was my fucking seed.
Speaker: Yeah, no, and I'm just i don't find her that attractive. I'll be honest. It's just it's just it's just me. I'm gay. We cut to some gallery and she meets up with Doug and Lily and I guess Nate didn't go.
Speaker: So she's talking to them and then they walk away and she really bumps into Christian who says he was thinking about her and asked her if she's going to Paris. um And there's this weird thing they're talking and he's like circling her, like walking in circles.
Speaker: And then he kisses her on the cheek and she definitely fucking liked it. Of course, but then her friend saw. Lily saw it and freaked the fuck out. I thought you fucking loved Nate.
Speaker: And she's like this is not the the Andy that I know anymore. And then she, Nate is like, happens to be behind them as Lily's like, you're going to Paris or something like that. um And then we're outside the gallery where Nate's like, you're a totally different person.
Speaker: um Where Andy suggests taking a break. If a girl ever tells you she wants to take a break, she's definitely cheating on you, bro. 100%. She's getting dicked down by somebody else. Never say yes. Just like, we're done.
Speaker: End it. So Nate walks off um and she calls for Nate. But as she's like trying to get Nate's attention, Miranda calls her and she has to answer. where Nate tells her that he hopes her Miranda are very happy together and walks away.
Speaker: We cut to the Paris fashion show. Miranda introduces Andy to people as the new Emily, where she's approached by Christian saying she still owes him for the Harry Potter manuscript, a.k.a.
Speaker: your poon. Yeah, so he's going to pick her up later to get dicked down. ah We cut to Andy arriving to a hotel, and she walks in on Miranda, who's down bad.
Speaker: ah Like, very upset, but she wants to go over the seating arrangement for the luncheon, and she wants to move Snoop Dogg to her table. Because of course, why the fuck wouldn't you?
Speaker: Right. We find out here, Steven and Miranda are getting a divorce. um And wants she wants the press minimize until they get back to New York. And this is and another divorce on her her resume.
Speaker: um And then expresses some concern about what are they going say about me? You're a fucking cold-hearted fucking lady. And now all of a sudden you give a shit about what people think about you. Yeah. Like, you don't care your employees feel like you're treated badly, but the press is, like, what you care about?
Speaker: She's got too big of an ego. But she tears up over it being unfair for the twins. Um, I don't know. It makes no sense to me that she's... so I don't get why she's so concerned over her public appearance when the people who work for her are like, you treat us like fucking shit. You don't even look at it. And she just doesn't give a fuck that way, so... Yeah.
Speaker: Um... She changes the subject to placing Donatella somewhere where then Andy's like, Hey, I'm sorry. And offers to cancel her, her evening.
Speaker: Um, and if you can do anything else to help and, uh, Marin's like, just do your job. So after that, uh, we cut to Andy in the mirror, getting ready for her date and has a flashback of her and Nate.
Speaker: Um, when Nigel knocks on the door and asks for Miranda's itinerary and Nigel says they're celebrating, they pour some champagne and they're celebrating to a dream job because, uh, James Holt, his whole design thing is getting funded and Nigel will be the partner. So he's leaving, ah Miranda's runway, John.
Speaker: Um, and he's so excited. And he says he has the free, the first time in his life, his freedom that he's never had in 18 years. um We cut to Andy going on a date with Christian.
Speaker: Christian asks Andy to a admit that she hates Miranda. um and And they try to hint at something here, but it doesn't really go very far. That if Miranda was a man, no one would care that she's treating her employees bad.
Speaker: ah But because she's a woman, they care. i don't know. I don't get that. Uh, and Christian says that, you know, it's kind of the same thing. like, you're drinking the Kool-Aid, but, uh, you're crossing over to the dark side, which he says is sexy. And I'm like, really dude, like make it a little more obvious. You want fuck.
Speaker: This is all, this is a fucking eye roll to me. Yeah. Uh, it's cringe. We cut to them walking the streets and, uh, Christian like says some fucking really gay faggy quote.
Speaker: That's like poetry. um Then he starts kissing her and she's like, I can't, but then doesn't stop and keeps kissing. So you a slut. Right. You're just to get dicked. up the next day and she's overslept. So obviously it's insinuate they fucked.
Speaker: Of course they fucked. Uh, she overslept in this part. I feel like it's too convoluted. Um, and she, she's a mockup and, uh,
Speaker: Like that Christian has. And he says that Miranda is being replaced by Jacqueline, who I guess was the lady from the party. Who is like, yeah. A different one. i don't know. Like didn't want to talk to or whatever.
Speaker: And she's told this by Christian. um So she tries to call Miranda, but Miranda hangs up on her. um Andy runs over to Irv's hotel, knocks on the door, and she tries to talk to Miranda. Miranda comes out and dismisses her.
Speaker: um We see Miranda. Oh, Andy sees Miranda later and tells her that she.
Speaker: Tells her what's going on. Like she's going to like get fucking booted. And she don't really care. Um. She has some concern about. I think they're called. all Fuck I forget. Fresia. Something. like Some fucking flower. She's like all wrapped up in.
Speaker: Miranda is. We cut to. Nigel presenting Miranda. To give a speech to the James Holt. Celebration party. Which is. Like happening in France.
Speaker: Um. Um.
Speaker: where Miranda shares that James ah Holt selected Jacqueline Foley to take the position that Nigel was supposed to take. So I guess behind the scenes, they don't show it really besides that one little conversation that Nigel was selected to like be the partner for this new thing with James Holt.
Speaker: But I guess Miranda changed at the last minute or I don't fucking understand this part. Honestly, it's pretty convoluted. Yeah. Yeah. So Nigel says to Andy when the time is right that Miranda will pay him back, but he actually really isn't too sure if that's going to happen or not.
Speaker: We cut to a car ride. It's Miranda and Andy. um And Andy tells Miranda the whole time. And um essentially, i guess the company wants move in a different direction with runway. But Miranda was like, if I leave, they'll all leave with me.
Speaker: So they didn't fire her or get rid of her. Because like there was like some comment mentioned like she's like older and like her prime's over. like if We want to go going a different direction. um
Speaker: Andy says that she couldn't do what Miranda did to Nigel. And Miranda's like, well, you did it to Emily. You basically just fucking took this girl's job. Right. Where Andy realizes she doesn't want any of this.
Speaker: And Miranda says, come on, everyone wants to be us. We're fucking rich and famous. And she gets out of the car and she gets mobbed by paparazzi. And Andy decides she's going to walk away.
Speaker: So fuck it. Runs away. And she gets a call from Miranda and throws the phone in this fountain. We cut back to New York where she meets up with Nate and tells him he was right about everything and apologizes.
Speaker: Probably didn't mention that she slept with Christian. Right. Probably didn't mention that part. He probably They probably told, like, all her friends probably told him, like, oh, we saw them kiss or whatever.
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, I guess it's assumed. Yeah. But Nate fucking, Nate and I live the same life. Nate got a fucking sous chef job in Boston and he's moving, which happened to me like five years ago.
Speaker: Right. ah And he's like, oh I guess you're coming with me, which is such a fucking eye roll. It's called cheated on you, bro. And then you're taking him back. All right. Yeah, I guess I'm going take you back.
Speaker: People do that in like high school, not as adults. Right, because an adult's like, it's going to happen again. Yep.
Speaker: Andy has an interview, and the interviewer asked her like about her time with Runway, and he got a fax from Miranda saying that she was the biggest disappointment, but if he doesn't hire her, he's an idiot.
Speaker: So it's like a backhanded compliment. you um Andy calls Emily and gives this. I, you know, I didn't give a fuck because the notes only't even make sense anymore. I don't even know the fuck I wrote, but basically Andy calls Emily and she's like, take these clothes from Paris. i don't fucking want them. um And they hang up and it cuts to the office that the Miranda's office and Emily tells the new assistant that she has large shoes to fill.
Speaker: ah We see Andy Miranda make eye contact across the street. um Andy waves and Miranda doesn't. um And Miranda gets in the car then kind of smiles. And then that's basically the end of the movie.
Speaker: We made it.
Speaker: I don't know. There's something to be said about selling your soul to corporate, which I get that. And I've i've been a part of that like as a person that works in kitchens where it's like I've missed a lot of holidays. a lot of important i missed i missed like three of my sister's graduations because she's that successful that she had three.
Speaker: Missed three of those, several birthdays, a lot most how like every Mother's Day between since COVID, I've missed every single one for sure. ah So kind of get that part.
Speaker: The movie's just so fucking gay. It's so gay, dude. was like, oh my god. like Yeah. And like, not a lot happens.
Speaker: I mean, it all happens, but like... you know Nothing happens that I care about that like keeps my interest. I guess on a rewatch, would be less convoluted, but I don't see myself rewatching it. rented this. I'm fucking pissed.
Speaker: Oh, I did too, yeah. umm I'm just not really... ah didn't like it. And you wrote in your review, like, watch Whiplash instead. But I would say that there are there is some crossover, but Whiplash to me, like...
Speaker: why that movie works so much better is because think his name is Andrew. He's or Neiman. He's so much. He's like so passionate about drumming and like being a better drummer that it works where this lady has no talk about the industry at all.
Speaker: It's just being petty essentially. Yeah. Like has no interest in being like a good like fashion for design at all. And everyone calls her out on it. ah But I guess the money must be fucking something. But the dad says her money's shit. So what is it?
Speaker: Like what? What's shit though? I mean, she doesn't have to buy clothes, right? She's getting all these free like designer. Right. I don't know. But for me on that level, it doesn't really fucking work that well.
Speaker: like I gotta stop drinking fucking soda while we record. I'm burping a fucking storm over here. um Did I give it a raking? or did i just A raking? You know who I like give a fucking raking? Ian Hathaway.
Speaker: Did I give it a ranking? No, and not yet. I think it's rating. think you rate it. Yeah. Ranking's like in a list. A rating is like the star rating. gave it a full review, but I didn't give it a star. You did go off in that movie. I did, bro. You did.
Speaker: you want to read review? No, give him a reason to go on your letterbox. If you want to read Gerald's review, go on his letterbox. It was basically linked in the description. Yeah.
Speaker: It was basically like saying like me saying like this did nothing to bring me into like fashion or whatever. But the way whiplash did it, like it actually brought me into like, oh, drumming like that.
Speaker: You can make drumming interesting. You can't make fashion interesting. No, you can make fashion interesting. Come on. We used to fucking buy sneakers. I meant movie-wise.
Speaker: Like the adaptation. Okay, Air's pretty good. I haven't seen it. Yeah, it's on Prime. but i don't you can You could have made this movie interesting if the main character had a passion for...
Speaker: That. For clothes. Which she clearly doesn't have. Whiplash, like I said, it just works so well because they have the passion. Neiman wants to be the next Charlie Baker or the fuck the guy's name is.
Speaker: Go listen to episode on Whiplash. think it's like 21. one of Pretty good episode. It's an early one. a vault. Honestly. It should have labeled vault, but it's not. ah I'm going to give this movie a star and a half.
Speaker: I said it. Star and a half? Yeah.
Speaker: What do you got?
Speaker: I feel like the night you watched it, you were probably at like half star.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm going to give it a star. Give it a half. Do it. Do you think you're being too harsh? do you have other movies rated a half star?
Speaker: I have to. look Look at this movies rated a half star and a star. That's how you can better categorize where it's going to be. That helps me at least. But ratings are all, you know, it's just bullshit.
Speaker: Okay. Sorry. Wish by the Disney movie Wish. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Cannibal Holocaust. Cannibal Holocaust. I don't even know how to rate that movie. It's just, it's just, yeah, it's a half star, but for different reasons.
Speaker: Yeah. The Barn. Okay. Bad movie. Rip off of of everything else. I feel like I need to rewatch that though. Cause we were pretty fucking sloshed. No, no. Fuck that movie. It's bad. I'm going to rewatch. It literally has terrifier music in it.
Speaker: Yeah. It's a bad movie. And then the gallows, which was a found footage horror movie. One of the only movies I've ever actually turned off because it was so fucking bad.
Speaker: Well, it sounds like this is going to one, not a half. Right. I'm going to give it a one. Okay, that's fair. Honestly. Ron?
Speaker: Ron, you don't really know us, I don't think. um
Speaker: We don't review anything like this.
Speaker: I mean, if ron Ron, if you thought this was like Whiplash, I guess it kind of is, but it's not Whiplash is more about passion. This is not really about passion at all. This is like selling your soul. I mean, in a way, Neiman sold his soul, but it wasn't for like, he sacrificed a lot to be great at what he was doing. This is just to be petty.
Speaker: And like, at the end of the day, he actually like kind of like achieved his goal. i mean, I think, I think Andy at the end of the movie feels accomplished. I do think that accomplished, but she's still like, not like top tier in journalism.
Speaker: You know, she's still like kind of at the bottom. We don't, do we know? We don't know that.
Speaker: I thought it was like just some... like It's like a good start, but it's not top of the top. Cream of the crop. give You want to give me some top of the top? Until cream of the crop comes out?
Speaker: and you Yeah, you can just slop on my top. Oh, wordplay right there. It's amazing we did an hour and a half on this movie. We didn't. It was there's a lot of tangents. of A half hour of suspect things.
Speaker: All right, let's do a little... Plug it in, plug in. So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
Speaker: Follow us on YouTube and Instagram for the clips coming soon. They'll be back. Twix is here. Sorry. Hey Twix.
Speaker: Uh, send us a voicemail. Five Oh eight, eight fist us. Five Oh eight, eight dip tip six minute limit. Six minute limit. Follow us on internet. minutes.
Speaker: Link is all in the description. In the description. Do all that. Listen. Tune in. hand Next week, we have a review for you.
Speaker: Yeah, like we've been saying, though, it's all subject to change. You could get a vault episode next week. We don't fucking know. But right now, we really do want a review for you guys 28 years later. Right. right That's the goal is to review that next week, but you could also get of the nine films that we currently have banked.
Speaker: Yeah. And we, you know, we eventually will probably review 28 years later at some point. Cause we're very interested in it. Right. Maybe we could do like the trio if we don't.
Speaker: Yeah. Um, But call it. Hey, if you call in like Ron did, ah you can have your movie reviewed right here. This is the second fan requested episode we've done, which is pretty cool.
Speaker: We'll switch shit around for you. For you. um We did not switch anything around for Ron, though. Nah. Also pushed like my shit.
Speaker: but Yeah, right. Yeah. The other thing too is when we say call in and what you don't have to request the movie, you can just call in with whatever. But if you call in with a movie, there is no timeline promised for when we'll review that movie. It's just, it's like the suggestion box at work.
Speaker: It doesn't mean it's going to fucking happen. But when we do our next like free movie, you'll be it. Right. If we have like, if like, all right this week we're going release this or it's just blank. We'll fill you in.
Speaker: I got a blank space, baby. Shout out to Tara Swift, I guess. We'll fucking fill you to the brim. know mean? Fill me to the brim. All right. my ah We'll see how much of the episode actually makes it out. That was wild what we were talking about earlier.
Speaker: was fucking fucking crazy. um Anyways, we will ah we'll see you guys next week. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark, and fuck draft day.
