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B.I.T.C.H.
99 Plays11 months ago
The stars are alive and telling us to LET OUT OUR INNER BITCH, but that may not mean quite what you think. Today we are getting starry eyed and astrological! Move over rising sign, a new astrological placement is coming in to unlock all our inner secrets and her name is: Lilith. And trust us, we all need to embrace our Lilith a bit more.
2024 is the year of Lilith!
Shoutout to @zeldasnotes on Tumblr for some of the info in today's ep!
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Transcript
Introduction and Reclamation of 'Bitch'
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Awake and Bake, an educational, high vibrational, mystical, spiritual pot, I'm sorry, podcast from One Girl, One Joint, and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us in the words of the wise was Khalifa. Let us roll something and get the day started. What's up bitches? Now, when I say bitches, I want you to know that I am reclaiming the term bitch and
00:00:26
Speaker
spoiler i did not come up with this and i don't remember the site i saw it on so all i'm going to say is that i am not the original originator of this acronym but i'm fucking obsessed with it and i will try to hopefully someday uh credit the person who was but until then um we'll just call me like the discoverer of it um okay bitch
00:00:48
Speaker
Listen here bitch. Bitch does not mean female dog. Bitch does not mean mean person. Bitch does not mean woman who's assertive. Bitch is an acronym. And bitch stands for being in total control of herself. And that is what I am. I am a proud and loud bitch. I'm a mega bitch. I love being a bitch.
00:01:14
Speaker
And I bet you're wondering, Kelce, why were you researching definitions of bitch? I was not. I was doing my new hyperfixation and that is studying astrology. And so I could share it with you. I was getting a little bit more research into this new thing that I had found that I was going to share with you. And then I found this incredible acronym and it tied it all together so well.
Exploring Lilith in Astrology
00:01:37
Speaker
Today we are going to talk about Lilith, our Black Moon Lilith, a sort of controversial part of our natal birth chart. And I say controversial because some astrologers do not think of it as a true part of our birth chart because it is not a star or a constellation or an asteroid or a planet, it is simply a point. It is the point furthest from you on Earth, on the Moon,
00:02:04
Speaker
uh from from you on earth to the moon to the moon i'm high yeah the furthest point on the moon from you on earth do you get what i'm saying it's on the dark side of the moon what is the dark side of the moon what is the moon guys what what is that oh oh oh that represents like our emotions doesn't it the dark side of the moon would that be our dark side perhaps our shadow self it is and
00:02:31
Speaker
When I tell you having this little tiny piece this little this missing piece that I did not even know was missing made my birth chart make
00:02:43
Speaker
so much sense that my brain, like I cried. I mean, yes, it was my first day, my period when I was reading about this, but I cried. And then I actually immediately recorded an episode about it. And then I talked to Danny earlier today and I was like, okay, I think I need to like redo the episode that I had done because I was a little bit too like, blah, crazy, right? I never get blah, do I? Right guys, right? Tell me I don't go crazy. So anyways,
00:03:12
Speaker
Let's start kind of from the beginning. We all heard of Lilith, if you haven't. She's kind of all over in all different theologies in Christianity. She's represented in the Bible just once in Isaiah 34.14 and she's kind of mentioned as like
00:03:30
Speaker
just like a person in passing it's nothing like really specific. Judaism mentions her as the first wife of Adam who was not subservient and so he kicked her out at Eden and then the second perfect woman Eve was made and she listened to him perfectly like such a good little girl well until she didn't um she's often represented as like a she-demon just like like a female devil, Lucifer's wife, Lucifer's partner, a fallen angel, all different ways but it's all a very
00:04:00
Speaker
negative portrayal of this Lilith character and in the world in the universe. Michelangelo even painted her as like a half woman half serpent climbing on the tree of knowledge like she has been forever deemed as like this ugly horrible bad woman and do you want to know why she's been deemed that way?
00:04:21
Speaker
because she doesn't listen to men, because she thinks for herself, because she stands up for the rights of others, because she's sometimes kind of assertive and aggressive, but that's because she believes in what she believes in and she believes in protecting herself. And sometimes to protect yourself, you have to be a little bit bitchy, perhaps, perhaps you have to be a being in total control of herself.
00:04:45
Speaker
Hmm? Does that sound right? And does it also kind of sound like, I don't know, the historical precedent that has been set for any woman who has ever spoken out ever in the history of human beings? Like, witches, you know, anyone, any woman who is any different or any woman who understood that she also had power and she too could change the world was immediately labeled as aggressive, mean, bitchy, a cunt, whatever, whatever word you want to, like, we are so
00:05:11
Speaker
so programmed to be these good little, I don't know if you guys ever, if you guys watched the documentary about Warren Jeffs, he was in charge of like a certain sect of Mormonism. Keep sweet and pray, I think is what it's called. And that's what I just thought of was keep sweet and pray. And that's kind of like, truly what I feel like. I don't want to say what's what would the word be? Our
00:05:38
Speaker
Our human experience has been male driven and in that male driven experience, at least that we have documented I guess is what I'm saying. We have women who are strong, who are powerful, who stand up for themselves, who don't
00:05:57
Speaker
just bow down to men have always been painted in this way in pretty much every case like and the funny thing is is like they're all instances of like when you look deeper like the way that they're written in these things are like so aggressive and like they're these horrible people then when you look into it it's like oh okay so she was doing the right thing though but it doesn't happen when men do that you know men start the fucking boston tea party and throw tea in the harbor and it's like a fucking celebration and now all i know about is fucking tea in the harbor however i haven't heard about the actual important parts of american history but
00:06:27
Speaker
I'm gonna take a deep breath and we are not going to get into that. We are talking about happy astrology today. So yeah basically she's a badass in history.
Personal Reflections on Lilith
00:06:39
Speaker
Lilith represents an incredible woman who has been misunderstood and I think that is like as a feminine being I just feel like I needed this. I needed
00:06:53
Speaker
a name for my dark side I guess. I needed this purpose for her as opposed to constantly having to sort of battle her and I don't mean that like I don't I do step into my dark feminine I do step into my shadow self and I work with my shadow self but a lot of times what I'm working with is the sense of healing it or with the intention of healing it I should say or
00:07:20
Speaker
um with the intention of conquering it in a way and I forget that I can give my shadow self the reign sometimes and that sometimes that is what you have to do and that your shadow self is a very important piece of yourself um and she can really be a source of inspiration and these are all just kind of things that I I had forgotten and so finding this black moon Lilith
00:07:47
Speaker
part of our natal birth charts like just really kind of threw me back into like the reminder of just how important our shadow self is and that our shadow self is a part of us it is not a separate being she is us I am my shadow self and we have to kind of work together we have to kind of be a team
00:08:08
Speaker
And it's, it's our secrets, you know, when I, when I looked up my, so my shadow, my, not my shadow self, my black moon Lilith is in Gemini. And when I looked it up, guys, I, for the first time, again, I was on my period, so I was emotional as fuck. And the first time I read it, I truly read it as like an attack. Like I was like, okay, I just am miserable and I hate myself.
00:08:33
Speaker
I cried and I was like I'm never I'm whatever um and then bitch don't you know that's basically exactly what my shadow self said that I do is which is to take everything very personally and be so worried about being misunderstood and misconstrued that I censor myself and that the Gemini aspect of it you know that two persons the twins is that I kind of have these two lives I have
00:08:56
Speaker
this me who is dying to be expressed and put out there and be a part of the world. But then I have the other me who tends to be a little bit more in control, who is the censored version, who kind of waters me down a little bit. And it just was such a reminder that I needed that I am
00:09:17
Speaker
enough and i am powerful and i can be powerful and that is okay um oh i don't know it just like all of it spoke so so much to me one of the like key things was that sometimes it can manifest as like constant babbling or like going on and like just rambling and hello have you guys fucking met me like i i
00:09:38
Speaker
I think I'm doing it right now. I've done it 10 times this episode. Like I ramble like crazy and it's because I'm passionate and I get excited about things that I want people to know. Everything that I know so that you understand that I am a smart person and I know that also sounds dumb and this is I think what
00:09:55
Speaker
got to me was that it called me the fuck out about being so afraid to be thought of as stupid that I do not allow myself to be authentic like that's where I hold myself back because I don't want people to think that I'm being dumb so I don't like to share parts of myself because I don't want people to judge me and I am so hyper focused on that that one of the um so in Gemma my Lilith being in Gemini uh
00:10:19
Speaker
means that Gemini is affected by, is ruled by Mercury, so it very much affects my communication. So that's what it's, you know, that censorship, that piece of me, that piece of me that doesn't allow the part of me that is fully authentically myself to have that voice. That is where my wound in here is I'm discovering. And so finding a way to allow her to speak. And I think I have found that a little bit. You know, I have, I come on here on Awakened Bake and I talk to you guys. And I think that sometimes
00:10:49
Speaker
i get very very excited and i love what i'm saying and then i start thinking about it and then i immediately like clam up but i'm sure if i listened back to these episodes i could hear that and it would drive me crazy and that's why i don't really listen very often because it drives me crazy and i love you guys for loving me
00:11:08
Speaker
but I get so scared that I can't even listen to myself. So like I need to stop doing that. I need to listen to myself. I need to learn from myself. I need to understand that whatever I'm saying I need to be confident in because it is what I'm saying and trust and that is the big thing is the trusting.
00:11:26
Speaker
trust, trust, trust, trust, trust, gals, trust that it will be taken the way that I meant or that there will be a time or an opportunity for clarification if necessary. I need to trust that especially the people who are close to me aren't going to make these judgments and it's just been something that's very been very hard for me and this is where it gets
00:11:48
Speaker
even more just like fucking accurate as hell um the next piece of it you know our our signs are not our signs but our aspects of our needle chart all have signs that they are in but then they also have houses that they're in and i just want to share a little bit about
00:12:07
Speaker
Lilith for me it's in my first house and it's in Gemini. So this is what Lilith in the first house does and I found this to kind of represent the why my Lilith is the way it is if that makes sense. So I'm just going to read this it's actually from a post from tumblr by Zelda's notes and if you look up your Lilith which I hope you do after you listen to this episode and then you google this um what it what your Lilith means in each house and you go to this one it's it should be like right on google one of the first ones that's how I found it and it was just the tumblr
00:12:35
Speaker
Zelda's notes it breaks down um what each what your Lilith means in each house and I found I just found this really accurate so thank you Zelda's notes um so Lilith in the first house is one of the hardest aspects but also one of the most powerful ones to have. These people have something about them that makes them super intimidating in the eyes of others and this usually results in other people attacking them or respecting them depending on other aspects. I've noticed that most women with this aspect get attacked by other women a lot especially when younger which makes them take back control by becoming mean themselves.
00:13:05
Speaker
They were usually bullied by other women as children and became quote unquote bitchy because of that. The bullying might even have been physical. They are super afraid of being viewed by others as weak because they know that that makes people attack. They have a hard time going unnoticed by others. They usually feel insecure about their physical appearance, but you don't notice it because they act so confident.
00:13:29
Speaker
call me the fuck out zelda's notes my god they usually have okay and then this part's kind of nice they usually have a very attractive appearance with a beautiful body which i do but i don't always believe that some of them get so tired of the attention that they start to wear baggy clothes to not be noticeable some of them are scared of the reactions they get from others they might have been accused of being cocky even as children because something makes them come across as arrogant and rude these people can go through a tough period in life
00:13:57
Speaker
where they are very self-destructive. Hi my name is Kelce and I was an alcoholic drug abusing sexually, I was gonna say sexually free but sexually promiscuous and risky early 20 person that was me that was me I've recovered I'm recovering hi but yeah that's me um
00:14:25
Speaker
And some of these people negatively aspected can be extremely rude and combative for no reason, but a lot of them are super nice. It depends on other aspects in the chart. And I've noticed a lot of those people are either super protective of women or the opposite. I'd like to say that I am super protective of women.
00:14:47
Speaker
And then I have to brag a little because some of the other celebrities along with me who have Lilith in the first house are Billie Eilish, Marilyn Monroe, Meg the motherfucking Stallion, and Marie Curie. Hello, mother of radiation. Honored. I mean, Meg is amazing. Don't get me wrong, but Marie.
00:15:10
Speaker
Hello, bonjour. I don't know if she's French or German actually, so maybe I shouldn't say bonjour.
Astrology as a Tool for Growth
00:15:17
Speaker
Obviously like anything in our birth charts, anything in astrology, it all goes with a grain of salt. This is not my life story that I just read from Zelda's notes. However, it is something that I can deeply, deeply relate to and I hope, no, I'm not even gonna say it. I think I've always felt eyes on me.
00:15:41
Speaker
and I've always been told mostly by my mother that that's a bad thing. You don't want attention. Finding beauty in yourself is a very vain thing. My mom's a very
00:15:54
Speaker
simple person in that way um I've always been drawn to the idea of like a limelight though like I can't lie I've always loved Broadway I wish I had those pipes like I've always wanted something like this you know I've talked about it but I've never had this confidence Danny truly helped me see that I can do it and I without that friendship I don't think I ever would have had the confidence to feel confident in who I truly am like I think
00:16:20
Speaker
Danny being such a strong, powerful, and successful person in a way that I really admired. She was a fucking theater major. She's killed it in something right that I put on a very high esteem. I think that performance and sharing yourself through art, really any art, even my friends who are painters and stuff, I put on the same pedestal of just the most incredible human being and the most aligned souls
00:16:49
Speaker
that can create um so to have someone like Danielle like see me as me and then love that person and find me funny and cool like I realized that was what unlocked it kind of for me that was my awakening of like my confidence um but I didn't have that and I always and I think if you talk to people from especially you know my high school even childhood like I always had a kind of confidence
00:17:14
Speaker
because it was just a natural thing for me but I really lost it because I was made fun of for it or I was picked on for being weird or I was more excluded I think. I feel like that's more where my bullying, my childhood trauma in relation to with my peers was more of one of exclusion than one of
00:17:38
Speaker
direct like abuse, I guess. I often felt like people were talking behind my back and it was things like that as opposed to things that were said directly to me, which is something that I think kind of isn't talked about much, you know, because it was just as hard because then I'm
00:17:58
Speaker
sitting thinking and hearing my name being whispered or seeing people write notes about me or getting fake messages from profiles like guys from my school set up to make me like try and send new like things like that but like I wasn't like outright bullied in a way that other people saw and I didn't let other people see that and I didn't share that vulnerable side of myself. I've always hidden that I've never been someone to
00:18:27
Speaker
try and address a problem that I'm going through personally and emotionally, especially, and especially with other people, with someone else. And so when I read this, I just really, I really resonated with me. And at first I felt very called out like, oh my God, so I'm a bitch because people were a bitch to me. And then I had to take time to one, find my new meaning of bitch, being in total control of herself,
00:18:55
Speaker
But also to remember that when we find these signs, when we find these pieces of ourselves and the stars, these bits of guidance that we get, it's so important to remember that it's not literal and it's not
00:19:11
Speaker
definitive. You work through these things. The negatives that are being mentioned aren't being brought up to tell you that this is something that's wrong with you that you're never going to fix. It's giving you a place to work. It's giving you the starting point. When you say you want to do shadow work and then you sit down and you're like, I don't know what shadow work to do.
00:19:31
Speaker
This is what this is here to do. This is a guidance for you for that. Going in and finding your Lilith and then using that as a way to explore a different perspective of yourself. I think that's kind of what gives us
00:19:46
Speaker
interest in this astrology is that a lot of us have been looking for answers as to why we are the way we are and in a way it kind of does that but I think it more gives us a if we are the way we are if that makes sense you know it gives us an option of this is who we could be this is this is the energy that is going into us and it can come off
00:20:13
Speaker
not great if we don't pay attention to it, if we don't honor it, if we don't reel it in sometimes, and if we don't pay attention to what it is that our physical bodies need, our mental bodies, all of our bodies, we don't stay in alignment.
00:20:25
Speaker
It can get very out of whack. But if we listen to the stars and Mother Earth and ourselves and our souls, our spirits, and we allow them to align and then align with our highest self and with source directly, we learn so much more about how to be a better person, how to work with us. It's sort of like having a mental illness, having ADHD.
00:20:49
Speaker
Have not been fighting my ADHD anymore I now ask it questions instead of fighting my shadow self I ask it questions and not how do I overcome this but what would you do with this you know more more situational more get to know it questions not don't ask for the obvious answers or don't don't ask for
00:21:13
Speaker
Don't ask for the specifics. Keep it light and keep it fun and let your mind bring you to those places. Let your mind make the final conclusions. Because you'll probably see if you check later on that they're aligned with what you'll find anywhere else. But let yourself do some exploration as well. Let yourself read these things and then
00:21:35
Speaker
put it down and write out your own Lilith what you feel your Lilith is and I just think it's it's important that while we learn these things and like while we're exploring these new concepts especially in spirituality which is such an unknown there's so many questions it's important that we don't
00:21:55
Speaker
get lost in definitive, get lost looking for definitive because I think a lot of times we're not going to get like that answer. These are just simply guidances. These are simply an outline of a possibility. It does not mean that I'm going to be a bitch forever. And it doesn't mean that everyone that I meet is intimidated by me. And it doesn't mean that
00:22:15
Speaker
all women want to attack me like but those are things that I see myself worry about and so I will ahead of time if I think a woman is going to be intimidated by me or think that they need to put me down I will try and separate myself from them or distance um that's the same thing distance myself from them you know what you guys get what I'm saying as far as that goes
Learning and Resources
00:22:44
Speaker
Um, so yeah, I just, I thought it was really cool to find this new piece of my birth chart. And when I say that it really just aligned everything for me, I truly did. I've, I've really been loving learning more about astrology and I've been learning the symbols so I can like actually write out what's happening in the stars.
00:23:04
Speaker
in like my calendar and I just feel like so cool doing that. It's like knowing a different language. If you haven't, please go and check out our Patreon. I'm putting up free monthly breakdowns of what's happening in the stars on there and I just want you to have access to them and that's where they're going to be and so go check out our Patreon to see that. Make sure as always you check out our YouTube. Dani kills it on there. We have over 700 subscribers. We are almost to a thousand. Holy fuck. We are almost to a thousand subscribers on YouTube.
00:23:34
Speaker
that seems huge and I don't even know things so like go us go Danny especially Danny you are the YouTube goddess the goddess of YouTube
00:23:44
Speaker
and make sure you take some time today to honor the goddess of feminism, the patron of abortion. Mother Lilith, okay, she is my god and my god is an awesome god and her name is Lilith and she's a fucking badass and she will destroy all other gods and just like stay high guys. Bye.