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Don't Forget the "I" in Kind
182 Plays1 year ago
Caring for yourself is not selfish, it's self care. Sometimes we need that reminder, that's why we have Kels to always kep us in check. Practicing kindness starts with yourself, you deserve the love that you give others. The more love we give the world the more there is to share.
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Update
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Awake and Fake, an educational, high vibrational, mystical, spiritual pot- I'm sorry.
00:00:05
Speaker
podcast from one girl, one baby, no joint, and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us. In the words of the wise was Khalifa, roll something and get the day started. Hello, everybody. It's Kelce and I have Miss Phoebe on my lap, actually. So I am hoping that she keeps her shit together. She was supposed to be napping. She's had a kind of tough couple of days. So I'm recording this Thursday morning and typically
00:00:32
Speaker
Our episodes are released by 6am on Thursday morning and so it's going to be a little bit late for those of you listening in real time. I know you've probably been anxiously awaiting by your Spotify for this episode to drop. It's here. You can breathe.
Maintaining Kindness in a Challenging World
00:00:45
Speaker
Okay, I want to start off with the last solo episode that I did. We talked about just how happy the world is right now. I don't want to
00:00:57
Speaker
I still don't want to get crazy into it because I think we all know what is going on. We all have our feelings. We all have our places where we're coming from. And I just truly believe that everyone's coming from their heart and their reality. And I just, we are, we are, we all know. Guys, we know just, we love humans. We love,
00:01:24
Speaker
being kind to each other and that's what we need to continue to do and amplify in the state of the world right now, I guess is the best way to say
Podcast as Therapy and Safe Space
00:01:31
Speaker
that. Danny and I were talking yesterday about how Awaken Bake is a safe place. That's what this is and that's what I need it to be right now. In this heavy world that we're navigating through right now, I think I've been struggling a little bit with
00:01:53
Speaker
What what do I do? As all of us have been and I I just had a you know a direct message from source The other day that this this is what I do. I want to talk about Love I want to talk about kindness. I want to talk about Cool shit. I want to talk about shit that pushes us forward I want to talk about healing ourselves healing each other help like we got to amplify the positive guys and that's what Awakened Bake is here for and Danny and I talked about it last night actually and like just
00:02:22
Speaker
Just yeah, we just affirmed that this Awakened Bake is safe. You're safe here. You know you're loved. You know how much we care for you and you know that we are here too. This is like Danny and my therapy and somehow, someway, so many of you resonate with it and it seems to be like therapy for you too. So I'm not calling myself your therapist, but perfect segue.
Kelce's Neurodivergent Journey
00:02:46
Speaker
Actually, it's not really a perfect segue. I'm more going to talk about my therapist kind of, and I guess just kind of this epiphany that I've had about my mental health and where I am, and I think a lot of you are kind of there. I feel like a lot of people in this world are on a very
00:03:08
Speaker
hard mental health journey. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we have found so much more knowledge about our mental health and what it is. And we've got so many new words or not even new words, but we're just actually using words for the way people think. Neurodivergent, people use that a lot nowadays. And I love it. I am neurodivergent, but I also dislike it because in a way,
00:03:37
Speaker
I think it kind of still puts people in a box. Whereas there is no neuro normative, like there is no neuro regular. No one's brain is quote unquote normal. I think there is a societal, agreed upon silent standard. And I think a lot of people
00:04:03
Speaker
force themselves into that standard. But I don't think you're neuro normative, I don't know if that's the word, because you force your you know, like it's, if it's not the way your brain works, then it's not the way your brain works.
Living with ADHD and OCD
00:04:17
Speaker
And the reason I say the way your brain works is I've been
00:04:21
Speaker
I've been getting these diagnoses guys, these mental health diagnoses. And maybe this is just my way of processing it. Um, but I've been thinking of them as just ways that my being works. So like ADHD, I've talked about that and like, I've been, you know, what do I do now? Like, what do I, okay, I have ADHD. So do I just, I just have ADHD. What does that mean? And I guess now I'm changing it to,
00:04:52
Speaker
I work with ADHD. That's how I operate. That's my operating system is ADHD. I very, very recently also found out or was diagnosed. I don't like to say diagnosed because a lot of these, my therapists, my psychiatrists and I come together and like, I don't know. It's not so much a diagnosis is a hypothesis, I guess. I'm 28 and in the world of mental health,
00:05:21
Speaker
First of all, your diagnoses can change all the time. They can, you know, you can live most of your life not having PTSD and then have a traumatic event. And then you have PTSD, you know, that not necessarily all the time. And that's something that I've, that's one thing that I've learned is that when I am in high stress, that is when both my ADHD and now I know my OCD, which presents in the form of
00:05:49
Speaker
intrusive thoughts and, um, what my therapist calls checking behavior. So my, I'm not like washing my hands 10 times a day. I'm not flipping lights on and off. Um, it's not that I have a, I have a mild OCD, um, where I have deeply horrible intrusive thoughts all the time about like, uh, like I was walking the other day and we were going down a hill and I was pushing, pushing Phoebe stroller.
00:06:17
Speaker
And I thought about, oh my God, what if I just let go of this and like she just rolled down this hill? Now, everyone has those kinds of intrusive thoughts. What might make mine a little different and maybe you can relate to this is that it doesn't stop there and I don't just think it and then release it sometimes, especially like I said, when I'm in times of high stress, my OCD kind of kicks in and I
00:06:41
Speaker
not only think that thought, but then I think, okay, so then what injuries would she have? And then what would it look like? What would she sound like when she's crying? Am I a terrible person for thinking this? No, I'm just thinking this because I'm trying to plan for what happened. Okay, I need a plan. So if I accidentally let go, what if I let go and I don't realize I like it? It's obsessive and it makes sense. And we kind of, yeah, we had this epiphany of that's what I have.
Embracing Mental Health in Identity
00:07:06
Speaker
Uh, Cole actually asked me when I told him about it, he was like, okay, so what are you going to do now? And I was kind of like stumped. And I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, are you starting new? Are you changing your medications? Are you blah, blah, blah? Are you doing this, this? And I was like, no, I, I don't want to change it. And by that, I mean, I, it's not that I don't want to not have those intrusive thoughts or obviously I don't want to have those intrusive thoughts and stuff like that. However, I.
00:07:36
Speaker
now know that I can try and remember when I'm in those moments that this is, I am at high stress because now the way my brain works, the OCD, it's kicking into overdrive because sometimes that's what makes things great, my obsessiveness. A lot of my favorite breakthrough creative ideas come from maybe obsessing and knowing that that's not right, that's not right. It's got to be, and then I'll find the perfect thing. I'll find the perfect name.
00:08:05
Speaker
Of a title or a rapidness episode or something or like whatever it is Like I I do love that about myself just like I love my ADHD. I love My creativity that stems from that and I'm just not fighting it anymore And that doesn't mean I'm not trying to work with it. I mean, I'm not gonna fight it and pretend like it's not there I'm not going to pretend to be on that social normal social socio normative. I don't know big words guys I think I might just be making them up
00:08:33
Speaker
Um, I don't want to be like everyone else like, okay, so now that I'm stepping into this, I'm, I'm a brain that operates with ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety, you know, all that other fun stuff too. So PTSD sprinkled in there, but I I'm working with it and I'm figuring out, okay, so what do I do?
The Power of Self-Kindness
00:08:52
Speaker
And something that I have really found that helps and it works because it fits with kind of the theme of what I'm focusing on in my life today.
00:09:02
Speaker
is kindness. There's an I in kind. Does that work? I was going to use that. Like I've been thinking about that for days and I wanted to like use it on Instagram story. Like there's an I in kind, like, you know, like there's no I in team, but there is an I in kind. And I think a lot of us forget that we got to start kindness with ourselves. Um, and I mean that in our thoughts and being kind to ourselves in that way. But what about doing like,
00:09:33
Speaker
kind things for ourselves. And I'm not talking about like taking yourself out to lunch. I'm not, okay. Because I am learning to live with my ADHD. I have been reading a lot of books, honestly, just a lot of books about all different things for mental health. I think I told you guys about how I read the book about understanding your family, decoding your family dynamics and stuff like that and why you are the way you are because of your family.
00:09:55
Speaker
I've also been reading books about ADHD. And so one of the ones that I just read was How to Keep a House While Drowning by Casey Davis. How to Keep a House While Drowning, sorry. And she used an example in it that like blew me away. So she was talking about how she gets up in the morning. It's a great book. There's so many tips for those of you like me who kind of struggle with getting things done.
00:10:21
Speaker
She was, she was incredible and actually really relate to her form and her presentations of ADHD. So this book was really helpful, but something that she said was, um, she was putting her kids, she put her kids to bed one night and she was cleaning up the kitchen and she was going to go to bed and she knew she had to get up early for something the next morning. And her husband was going to be dealing with the kids and getting them ready for school and everything. So that night she spent 15 extra minutes cleaning it up, extra kind of laying things out for him.
00:10:48
Speaker
so that he knew what to do, he knew where everything went. She kind of just got extra prepared for him. She wanted to do something kind for him, for her husband. And she laid there in bed that night and she thought, why don't I do this for myself? I do this every day. Every day I get up with the kids and I do this and these are all these things that I could do. I just did them for him and they made sense. All these things I can do, these little things that takes 15 minutes to have his morning be easier. I could do that for myself.
00:11:17
Speaker
I can do that and it'll make my morning easier. Why don't I deserve that level of kindness? And you do, and I do. And so I now, before I go to bed, I make sure that the kitchen is clean because that's something that when I wake up, that makes me feel better. I put my coffee together and I have it all ready, so I just have to hit the button. And maybe these are simple little things, guys. I make Phoebe's bottles ahead of time, like just these little things. And when I tell you that they have made such an insane impact on
00:11:48
Speaker
my mental health and my ability to get up in the mornings, which I get up at 5.30 now pretty much with her, it's been remarkable. I don't use that word much. I'm going to use that word, remarkable, the change that I've noticed. And yes, I also am on medications for my ADHD and
00:12:09
Speaker
I don't know. I'm a mom now. Maybe I just get super powers. I don't know if that comes with it, but like I have noticed a huge difference in my mornings, which has been my biggest struggle. And I truly think that the big piece of that is because I am taking the time to do these little kind things for myself. And I do it more than just in the morning. Now I, you know, I put my keys back where I want my keys to go. I just am doing these things and maybe it's just a, a,
00:12:34
Speaker
perspective shift of how I'm talking to myself about it. You know, maybe you do these things, no problem. And you're just calling it like cleaning up after yourself, um, or preparing yourself for your next steps of life or days or whatever, however you want to. But for me, once I started calling it, like doing a kindness for my future self, um, it changed everything. And now I'm like, Oh, spoiling myself. Maybe I, maybe it's just because I'm, I, I really love myself. Once you tell them like,
00:13:04
Speaker
I will buy groceries and I'll feel nothing and then I'll buy groceries, but call them a present. And I'm like, Ooh, uh, something special for me. I don't know. Maybe that I'm just romanticizing guys. I am such a spiritual baddie. It's just ingrained in me. Now I do these things without even thinking about it. Please. No, I'm just kidding. I have to work hard every day. We all do. Um, speaking of which I've also been just meditating more because I feel I'm feeling more clear.
00:13:35
Speaker
Honestly, that's what it is. It makes me feel clearer to do these things to myself and to show myself this little bit of love. Yeah. I know I had something else I was going to say, but I completely just forgot it. But I don't know. Just try it.
The Beauty of Childlike Compassion
00:13:50
Speaker
Oh, that's what I was going to say. I wanted to talk about my last episode. I talked about kindness and the world and how things are going. And so I shared some kind of good news stories of some things that are happening.
00:14:03
Speaker
And I asked you guys to send some in. And I did get one response to that. It is from my sister-in-law, shout out Bryn. But she told me about my niece who is six and how she got a special day to go to the library, just her and her mom. And she has a little brother who's, he's about two and a half. And when she got to the library, the very first thing she did was she wanted to go and pick out books for her brother.
00:14:29
Speaker
about construction stuff. And it was just very, very sweet. And that, I mean, obviously it's my niece and my nephew. So I am like obsessed with it. And I just think it's the most adorable thing. But I also just think it's such a beautiful thing to see kids being better. I don't know. I just, I love that. And maybe it's because I'm a mom now, but something about when kids show kindness is just a whole different level.
00:14:58
Speaker
I don't know if you just heard Phoebe, she's like squawking a little, so I have to wrap it up.
Significance of Small Acts of Kindness
00:15:02
Speaker
But then I just wanted to share another little kindness, and this is one that I saw yesterday. I was at Aldi, and this little old lady was coming up, and she was going to get her car, and you know how at Aldi, you have to put the quarter in. And this other woman just came up, and she just handed her her car, and the older woman was trying to give her back her quarter, and she was like, no, no, it's fine. It's no problem, and I don't know. Those are really the, it's the little things, guys.
00:15:28
Speaker
It's the putting away your grocery cart. It's the picking up trash. It's the putting things in trash and not throwing them on the ground. Um, I know they seem small, but those little things they add up and they make such a huge difference in this world, smiling at each other, um, giving someone just a compliment, just a stranger, just. Just, just be kind to each other, but be kind to yourself and do some future kinds for you.
Closing Message of Love and Kindness
00:15:55
Speaker
Phoebe, do you have anything you want to say?
00:15:57
Speaker
Do you have anything you want to say, Phoebe? A little grunt. Can you hear her breathing, maybe? Come on, Phoebe. Huh? All right, she's shy, but she has started babbling, which is adorable. Being a mom is wild. I know I'm new at it, but it's wild. Okay, so take this kindness, take this love with you throughout your day, throughout your week, and we're here for you. You're always safe at Awaken Bay.
00:16:28
Speaker
Bye. Stay high.