Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Divine Feminine Embodiment with Kalie Kaimann Ep 1
249 Plays1 year ago
Good morning all and welcome to a very exciting episode of Awaken Bake and the start of a new series featuring a very special, mystical and high vibrational guest, Kalie Kaimann! Kalie is a professional actress, singer, and all around spiritual baddie. She is most famous for her role as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz National Tour where she completed over 500 performances in over 90 cities across America. And if all of that wasn't enough to make you fall in love with this enchantress she is also a Yoga & Meditation Teacher, Energy Healer, tantric goddess and sex witch. Today Dani and Kels get to know all about Kalie and how she created her spiritual, abundant life and became the goddess here before you all.
Don't worry if you become infatuated with her, because she will be back on the show and these three girls will be getting sexy, magical, and deep! You won't want to miss this.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction & Theme
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Awake and Bake, an educational, high vibrational, mystical, spiritual pot, I'm sorry, podcast, from two girls, one joint, and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us. In the words of the wise with Khalifa, let's roll something and get the day started. What up, sluts? Welcome back to Awake and Bake. I'm feeling slutty today.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm feeling slutty. I'm feeling horny. I'm feeling powerful.
Guest Introduction: Kaylee Kiman
00:00:23
Speaker
Also, I'm excited because finally Kelsey and I are having another episode together, not just a solo episode like we've been doing, but also we have a very special guest this episode. You guys, I'm actually pissing and shitting myself vomiting. It's coming out of both ends.
00:00:37
Speaker
I am so excited. I've wanted this for so long. So before we get into it and introduce who it is a quick little backstory. I have known this beautiful goddess since I was a child, or at least known of her and like we had done a lot of shows together. And I've always been a fan. It's been a dream of mine to connect with her on some type of professional level. And this is the perfect medium for it. This is the perfect setting. So without further ado, everyone, please welcome our guest speaker today, who will be educating all of us on witchcraft and the divine feminine embodiment
00:01:07
Speaker
Miss Kaylee Kiman. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so grateful to be here with you both. We're so happy to have you, Kaylee. We have so much to talk about today and so much to share. And I know our audience is going to be absolutely obsessed with you the way that we are. I'm very honest. I'm like, I don't hide at all. Like I'm a fan of Kaylee. I'm not just like, oh yeah, we're friends. Like I'm a fan, a super fan, if you will.
00:01:33
Speaker
I feel like I would go as far to say is like, I have a crush on Kaylee. Like, yeah, like, like a healthy level of stalking. Yes. Infatuation. Just completely infatuation. Guys, I'm blushing. Yeah. So basically, let's get started into like, who is Kaylee? Kaylee, we're going to kind of let you take over because you are the one who has all of this beautiful knowledge to share with us for this episode. We're going to try to hang back a little bit and just let you do your thing. So feel free to go ahead and get into it.
Kaylee's Background & Spiritual Journey
00:02:03
Speaker
Beautiful. Hello, everyone. My name is Kaylee. I am a human being person on this beautiful crazy planet Earth.
00:02:16
Speaker
I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio. I am a professional singer, dancer, actress. I love musical theater. I now live in New York City. I'm pursuing that dream of mine. And I'd love to kind of share a little bit about my spiritual journey and my upbringing since this is an amazing spirituality podcast. So I was raised Catholic.
00:02:45
Speaker
Yup. Another one. Another one. I went to Catholic school from preschool until senior year of high school. Jesus Christ. No pun intended. No pun intended. A survivor. Truly. I'm a recovering Catholic. And yeah, so I was raised with religion in my family.
00:03:15
Speaker
In school, I would learn about Jesus and I went to church all the time. And honestly, I always had this deep longing to connect with something higher than myself. I really wanted to have a relationship with God. I just felt that calling in my heart. But the way that it was presented to me in my education and in church just did not resonate.
00:03:42
Speaker
Like the energy was just kind of shameful and very like masculine and God was kind of like punitive and scary and like he punishes us. It just like did not resonate for me.
00:03:58
Speaker
I like how you said he was scary too because I think that was something you actually worded this way more lovingly and beautiful than I could have because you talked about like you really wanted a connection with God and just the way it was presented wasn't you know the way that aligned with you and it felt like a very scary
00:04:15
Speaker
um shameful and like like he would punish you kind of thing and I think that is more accurately how I would describe my experience as well as like growing up I always felt like almost I saw it as I was being rejected from God because I didn't resonate with the way it was presented but I so badly wanted to understand it so I love how you're like presenting it like no you did have this like inherent connection and longing to have some type of like relationship with God it was just the presentation that wasn't aligned with you you're literally I love your outlook on this is what I'm saying
00:04:44
Speaker
Thank you. It's taken a lot of therapy and a lot of healing to get here. But yeah, everybody's experience is different.
Transition from Catholicism to Spirituality
00:04:53
Speaker
And the way that we come to experience God or the universe or our spirituality is different. Absolutely. How did you like kind of transition then from a Catholic upbringing to where you are now? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are a witch, right?
00:05:13
Speaker
Yeah, I do. So I would say after high school, I found out about, oh, I stopped going to church. I kind of just stopped looking for it in those spaces. But I found out about the law of attraction and I watched this film called The Secret.
00:05:39
Speaker
which was my gateway into spirituality. Yeah, it's all about the law of attraction and working with energy. And the law of attraction is this idea that like energy attracts like energy. So if you put yourself into the energy of positivity and love and joy, and you live in that frequency, you attract the same kind of energy into your life.
00:06:08
Speaker
So I started playing with that and using it as a way to attract my desires, which at the time was theater jobs. I was living in Cincinnati. I had this dream.
00:06:25
Speaker
job in my mind. I wanted to do a Disney cruise and I wanted to be Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz national tour. And I would imagine myself immersed in what it would feel like to already have that experience. And I attracted both jobs and ended up doing the tour for like two years. So I was like, whoa, this shit is actually magic.
00:06:50
Speaker
Yeah. Like this is magic. What is it? Real shit. Magic is real. It is real and it's beautiful. But I would say that was just kind of like a surface level entry into spirituality for me. Okay. When the pandemic happened in 2020, I was living in New York City and
Pandemic's Impact on Spiritual Practices
00:07:17
Speaker
the musical theater film, everything industry was absolute, like nothing was happening.
00:07:26
Speaker
I didn't really have this purpose that I thought I had. So I was left with myself and I sort of had an opportunity to go deeper within myself. And in that time I found yoga. I took up a yoga practice and took this like yoga teacher training just to learn more.
00:07:49
Speaker
And I found meditation and started playing a little bit with some spell work. And then I just became obsessed and learned everything about everything. Once you scratch the surface, it really takes over.
00:08:12
Speaker
Totally. There's so much to endlessly learn about spirituality. And I think we can all kind of relate too as well. And Kaylee, I think you'll understand what I'm saying with this is when you do, like you said, you start off surface level, but then once you start to get deeper into it, you have this feeling of, I can't explain it as anything other than just absolute alignment. It's just a feeling of this makes sense for me. It's like as you learn about it, you're like, yes, absolutely. I almost feel like I already knew this, but I needed to be told it.
00:08:42
Speaker
Like hearing it is just like, oh, I don't even have questions. I get it. I believe it. You know what I mean? Totally. It's a remembering. Yes, it's a remembering. Yeah. And I think the word alignment, like you said, is so important. It just, I remember I was doing breath work and meditating and doing yoga and I just felt so myself.
00:09:08
Speaker
And I also, I think it's important to mention this as well. I had some really, really tough mental health struggles in that time. And I used to have really, really crippling anxiety.
00:09:26
Speaker
specifically like social anxiety and I kind of turned to spirituality to help me heal that part of myself and like meditating truly changed my life and I'm so grateful like I remember I used to have
00:09:49
Speaker
not a day would go by where I didn't have anxiety. And now that I've learned kind of how to like regulate my nervous system.
00:09:59
Speaker
just soothe myself. My life has completely changed. I just wanted to share that in case there's anybody out there that doesn't know where to start with spirituality or feels lost. It's for everybody even if you're having a hard time, especially if you're having a hard time. Can I ask what does meditation look like for you? Yeah.
Meditation & Self-Sufficiency
00:10:25
Speaker
So it's, it's evolved over the years. Um, when I first started, uh, meditating, I would do like guided meditations with somebody else, somebody else's voice guiding me. Um, but now I've taken up, uh, I did a program called Ziva, Ziva meditation, um, by Emily Fletcher. She's amazing. Her philosophy on meditation is, um, she wants to empower her students to become
00:10:55
Speaker
self-sufficient meditators where they don't need a cell phone or like a voice or anything to meditate. Yes. So what I do once a day in the morning, I sit for 15 minutes in the quiet and I do a little bit of breath work for like five minutes.
00:11:17
Speaker
and then I work with a one-word mantra in my mind and I just try to find stillness and some days it's really hard because my mind is so chattery but you know my commitment is to the practice it's just showing up every day and even if I have monkey mind like
00:11:40
Speaker
I'm committed to showing up. And at the end of my meditation, I spend like two minutes thinking about what I'm grateful for. That's beautiful. Yeah. I think meditation is so cool, especially as a spiritual practice, because just like spirituality, it is so personal and everyone does it so differently. And so I just love learning about like people's different routines with it and how they find that stillness in that piece. But the cool thing is, is that
00:12:08
Speaker
anyone you ask who has a practice with meditation is at the end of the day, like it's the same result, right? It's still that peace, it's that stillness, even though some people aren't even being still, some people walk when they meditate, you know, like there's so many different avenues to find these things. And it's all just about just like spirituality, it's about finding what works for you and creating and cultivating your spiritual practice.
00:12:28
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think what's so valuable is, well, and also, like you said, like not everyone can sit still for 15 minutes and like do this and like, that's totally okay. You can meditate or become mindful while you're washing the dishes.
00:12:46
Speaker
Right? Putting on your skincare.
Morning Routines & Glamour Magic
00:12:48
Speaker
I was about to say I actually have found that through doing like just simple glamour magic I don't need to do like a full look or a full beat every day but like my I've started cultivating like a morning routine for myself which has changed a lot I've had to actually like really figure out a new routine because I'm in a new phase in my life where for the past like
00:13:07
Speaker
two and a half years I was working solely for myself from home making my own schedule basically just like doing and whatever I wanted to do at the time I wanted to do it which is a huge privilege that I'm so grateful for and it taught me a lot about not only like my natural ability to you know kind of handle my own shit but it also showed me what my weaknesses are like where I'm like okay yeah that's that's not my area of strength at this moment um or that's where I could definitely grow
00:13:34
Speaker
But I used to, when I didn't have to clock in somewhere, I didn't have to be available to other people and maybe match their energetic level. When it was more focused on me, I enjoyed a long, slow morning of journaling, of incense, of physical yoga meditation. Now that I usually start my mornings a little bit earlier, especially if it's a day that I am doing cannabis education,
00:13:59
Speaker
then usually I have to clock in somewhere at a certain time and I want to set myself up for that experience differently than I would like if I was just working from home all day. What I found recently is that doing some glamour magic is actually really meditative for me because I'm not putting on makeup like
00:14:17
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I hate my skin today. So I'm going to cover it all up. Like, while I'm doing the glamour magic while I'm putting on my makeup, I am figuring out like, okay, how do I want to present myself today? What's the energy I want to bring today? I pretty much do the exact same makeup routine every day as well. So it's very like muscle memory. I'm not I don't have to think too much about like, well, what color is going to look good? It's genuinely more like while I'm getting myself ready for the day. I'm like, how do I want to present myself? How am I feeling? What energy do I need to cultivate? What do I need to harness? What do I need to also level out and like,
00:14:46
Speaker
what am I feeling right now? Am I feeling a lot of anxiety? So then while I'm getting ready, I keep my intention into like, okay, bitch, be calm. You are a sexy calm goddess today. Like you are relaxed today, but you just attract this naturally. There are other days where I need to be really high energy. So I'll be doing my, you know, skincare makeup, you know, glamor magic routine in the morning.
00:15:07
Speaker
and really hyping myself up really like you are a bad bitch like you are so alluring and magnetic and yeah and I've found recently that that is meditative for me because it's the time in the morning that I have to myself it's all about myself and it allows me to check in because my needs are different pretty much every day pretty much throughout the day as well so when I wake up and I don't know about you guys but I have pretty um insane vivid realistic dreams that often carry over into my morning and could if I don't
00:15:36
Speaker
process them myself right away in the morning or allow myself to sit with them and not only like go okay I'm safe now like I have to genuinely remind myself like those dreams are not my reality it was a dream I am awake now I'm in a whole different headspace Kelsey's looking at me like yeah bitch you and these damn dreams
00:15:54
Speaker
But that's part of my morning meditation is I definitely do have to center myself from my dreams. I've talked about it a little bit on the podcast, but I have chronic nightmares from PTSD, from CPTSD, from childhood. So this has been something I've lived with my whole life. There's really not a day that goes by that I don't have stressful, at minimum we'll say, stressful dreams. And so whether or not I'm doing the full journal, sitting down, meditating, doing some morning yoga, or if it's literally just my time,
00:16:24
Speaker
putting myself together, looking in the mirror, doing glamour magic, telling myself you're in control, you're amazing, or you're not in control. The universe is in control and you are open to receiving whatever is meant for you. It's cool to hear that meditation can look so different for other people. You know what I mean? Sorry for that long tangent, but I just loved hearing you say you did mention you have different needs every day when you're meditating. You have a different word that you sit on and that really resonated with me because I find myself
00:16:53
Speaker
kind of giving myself intentions of the day. And it'll be just a simple quick word that I'm sitting on and kind of like going over while I'm doing my meditation. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Intention is everything. Right? Everything. It's so important. I mean, honestly, we don't even realize how powerful we really are. Absolutely. Our intention can shift our entire day.
00:17:23
Speaker
You know. And Kaylee, do you find that it's actually a little bit more liberating when you transition out of Catholicism into like, you know, you don't even have to be a witch, but just into your being your own spiritual being with your own practice and your own connection to source. Do you find that like you actually have way more power than you realize? Because I kind of felt like I was always told we don't have the power. God has the power. We are very like, we're sinners. We don't know what we're doing. We're just these little sheep.
00:17:52
Speaker
Whereas I'm finding now, through my personal process of deconstructing, like you said, being a recovering Catholic, which is hilarious, I'm finding that actually I'm not powerless. I am actually directly connected to God. I am another version of source power and I have the ability, and not even the ability, but like
00:18:15
Speaker
the space inside of me to acquire and send out love and just do anything I want. Whereas growing up, I was told over and over, you are powerless to the, quote unquote, the king, the almighty God. You are his sheep. You're just a mortal sinner. You know what I mean? You don't know anything. And I think that they do that in a way to take the pressure maybe off of this human experience and maybe
00:18:42
Speaker
You know, I don't want to speak for Catholics because I'm not one, but I did have a lot of it growing up. You know what I mean? And it felt presented, at least to me, like you are powerless. You should fear God. And then hopefully one day if you repent enough, you can go to heaven. Whereas now I'm finding like I'm actually very powerful. I am a direct connection of source power. I have a direct connection to God. I'm not like a silly little sheep. You know what I mean? Like, yeah.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yeah, I think honestly what I've been trying to understand for myself and have more compassion for others is for some people Christianity feels free. It feels beautiful to them and that is beautiful.
00:19:31
Speaker
For me though, like my practice is going to look different and I do feel more connected to God, to source, to consciousness when I am connecting with nature and the other. Wow, yeah. And that for me is where I find God and where I find
00:19:54
Speaker
this element of spirit. And it just didn't resonate with me finding it in the church. And that's okay. Yeah. So what would you like, obviously, we're not people of defining ourselves, but like, what is your spiritual inspiration, your spiritual, how would you create your spirituality? Like, how would you define that?
00:20:22
Speaker
Um, it's a beautiful question. Um, I would say it's, it's kind of like I take a little bit of everything that works for me. Um, I, I definitely resonate with the term, which, um, just mainly because it's been like a reclaiming for me, like reclaiming that term as something that is.
00:20:50
Speaker
powerful and empowering. I want to share this. So this like one moment that I have specifically in my mind, I was doing a show in Wisconsin randomly a few years ago. And this friend of mine was just sitting there chatting with me and she was like, I feel like you're a witch.
00:21:21
Speaker
And I was like, time stopped, everything became like, it just resonated so, so deeply with me. And I was just so honored to even be referred to as a witch because I are powerful and badass. And I started exploring kind of what that is. Like I got super curious. And I, you know, I think I first had like a really,
00:21:49
Speaker
deep relationship with nature. I felt so magical when I would feel the sun on my skin. And then I fell in love with the moon and her magic. So I started working with the phases of the moon because as women we are cyclical beings. We also have a cycle every month.
00:22:17
Speaker
always changing and evolving. So I tried to really sync my life with my own personal cycle and the cycles of Mother Moon and I started having
00:22:33
Speaker
like gathering herbs from outside and making little offerings to the universe and just kind of offering my prayers up to the moon. But I also loved to meditate as well. I loved to do yoga. And even now, like
00:22:51
Speaker
I am able to be in a place where when somebody says God or they're offering a prayer, I know that we're talking about the same thing with different language. And that's, that's beautiful. Honestly, that is something that I will admit has taken me a little bit longer to get to a place of.
00:23:13
Speaker
but I am stepping into that now and it is very healing to like not feel attacked, you know what I mean? And just to feel like when someone says, hey, can I pray for you? Or, you know, God is looking out for you or whatever. Like people love to, you know, just give you a quick blessing in passing. And now I actually am very grateful for that. I remember there was a time where I was like, I don't like that. And now I'm like, why? Yeah, it's, you know, part of the healing journey to,
00:23:43
Speaker
When something triggers you, there's an opportunity to learn and to heal. What's that? Definitely. I think that's so cool. One of the other things that we talked about that I really want your opinion on is shadow work and self-love.
Exploring Shadow Work
00:24:01
Speaker
Yeah. I know that's a big part of your practice. How has that worked into your life?
00:24:09
Speaker
Honestly, they are, I've come to learn, they are one in the same. And I think that shadow work is a deeper part of loving yourself. And for people that don't know shadow work, the way that I understand it is bringing light to the parts of us that we keep in the dark.
00:24:36
Speaker
bringing love to those parts that are shameful or that we don't necessarily want other people to see. Yeah. And that can be so healing. So for me when I started to embody self-love, you know, I've realized that it's not just
00:25:02
Speaker
Oh, I love myself. Not bubble baths and face masks. It is that, because that's a gift to yourself as well. But it's more so, OK, when I'm in my rage, when I am jealous or feeling super sad, girl, can I love the hell out of myself there? Can I meet myself there?
00:25:31
Speaker
And so for me, I would say the last, like this year is really when I've been starting to dive into shadow work. And what that looks like for me is I'll usually have a moment when I notice there's something sticky that's coming up or something crunchy. Like- I love these words. I love sticky and crunchy.
00:25:59
Speaker
Yeah, when there's like a sticky icky crunchy moment, I'll like find myself numbing with social media or with food or Netflix or whatever it is. And I'll have a moment where I notice that I'm there, which is first step, great. And then I have an opportunity to continue what I'm doing and ignore
00:26:24
Speaker
whatever I'm trying to numb, or I can ask myself, all right. All right, Kaylee. Hey baby girl. Um, what is it that we're trying to numb? What are we afraid to feel? And I'll go deeper and usually discover like right now for this period in my life, there's a lot of grief that's coming up.
00:26:49
Speaker
around losing some friendships and some lover's relationships. So the grief will come up and I have a playlist that I call my sacred rage playlist. It's basically some music that helps me tap into the emotions that I'm suppressing. So I'll use movement is huge for my shadow work practice.
00:27:18
Speaker
So I'll play the music and really bring to the surface the uncomfortable feelings of rage and anger. And I'll dance it, move it out, move the energy through my body. And then what I usually find is underneath the anger is the sadness and the loss. And then I'll cry.
00:27:38
Speaker
And I'm a Pisces, so I love to cry. It is so, I feel so at home in my tears. Well, yeah, I'll get to the point where I cry and then
00:27:54
Speaker
then i'm like really in my body and if i feel like the energy's moved itself then i can meet myself with love and all of those parts and maybe i'll journal you know reflect with a friend or whatever i need after that but yeah for me being able to go there and actually see myself in the depths of my grief and in my sadness has been
00:28:23
Speaker
that's what self-love really is, loving that part too. Oh yeah and that's the scariest, it's the scariest thing. I mean I struggled for a very long time with depression and I would numb it with alcohol or misusing cannabis or right sexual relationships that weren't really healthy. They were just something else to make me feel good because I'm getting attention you know like just other ways instead of actually sitting down and looking myself in the mirror and being like
00:28:51
Speaker
Okay, but why are you reaching for the bottle? Why are you letting this man that you know cares nothing about you into your sacred space? And it's when you start to kind of soberly get to know yourself, that you're really getting to know yourself. And then you can find other ways. I'm not saying you have to swear off alcohol, but for me, I found that that was a pattern that I was
00:29:15
Speaker
mistreating myself because I wasn't understanding what was really going on and that I was depressed, that I had a deep sorrow in me that I had to find and face. And you cannot move past those hard things until you look them in the face. It sucks to know that sometimes because there's so much that we want to be like, I just want to forget it. So many times I'm in a great place.
00:29:36
Speaker
I'm like, oh, I don't want to do shadow work because I'm so happy. Why would I want to do shadow work? But you have to. You have to face that. You have to look and find the love for that. That person who was a crazy alcoholic, whore, which I love whores. I'm not saying that. But I just mean she was wild. I still have so much love for her because I know that she was just trying. She was surviving and now we're thriving. Yeah.
00:30:03
Speaker
And I want to celebrate you for doing that. Celebrate all of us that make that choice because it's so uncomfortable to go there, like to say the least. I mean, it's also like painful. But like that is that is the deeper work. And also what I've come to realize is
00:30:25
Speaker
The feminine, the divine feminine, is so many different faces and archetypes. The divine feminine is all of it. Right. It's the love and light, the sensual, sexy lover goddess. It's also the Kali, the rage, the destruction to create new. It's the mother and the nurturing. It's all of it. Everything.
00:30:53
Speaker
You have all of that within you. So even when you feel like you're being defined by the rage or maybe that's something that you're shaming yourself with, you also have that lover and you can find all those pieces. It's just about connecting and finding how you can reach out to that piece of you and let it in and then know that when all of those pieces are together and working in harmony and you find your balance, that's when you are your aligned self, you're your highest self, you are your best self.
00:31:23
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. So beautiful. I was wondering if, um, to kind of wrap up this episode, Kaylee, if you would be down to talk a little bit about, I know we kind of touched on this, but when we spoke on the phone the other day, you just were so warm and loving in your approach to oneness and compassion when it comes to any of our practices, when it comes, because I know Kelsey and I, we can be a little bit bold and brash.
00:31:51
Speaker
And but we were talking about just like how language affects things and how like just finding not only like the power in loving everyone but like the peace that comes with that and like understanding you touched on it earlier about how like we're all talking about the same thing we might say different ways but we're all talking about the same thing.
00:32:12
Speaker
And I feel like you're the right vessel to speak on this as well, because you've actually had way more one-on-one time and personal time in the Catholic Church than Kelsey and I have. And we've had our fair amount, but you've had a ton. And then you've also come to like this whole other end of the spectrum where calling yourself a witch is actually
00:32:31
Speaker
deemed as something negative in the Catholic faith or in the Christian community as a whole. But you found a way to find love for everyone and everything from both ends of the spectrum and in the middle and everything in between. You know what I mean? Like I just like how long did that take you? Like what type of like journey was that like for you?
00:32:52
Speaker
Um, thank you for bringing this up. I, I want to start by saying that within any kind of like dogmatic religion that's very rigid and strict can, has been oppressive and violent and a very painful for so many people. Um, so if there is any kind of.
00:33:22
Speaker
you know pain or disgust or anything like toward that entity that is I have so much compassion for that and that is okay yeah welcome for you to feel you're totally more than allowed to feel that um and I absolutely felt that for years and I was
00:33:45
Speaker
pissed off at the church for the way that it treats the LGBTQ community and these people that I love.
00:33:56
Speaker
Why is it so oppressive and shameful? I didn't understand it. So I think I needed that time away from the church to find my own spiritual path. And for so long, I felt like they needed to be separate for me. I don't necessarily believe in God. I'm spiritual. There was this division that I had.
00:34:24
Speaker
Um, and I'd say it wasn't until recently, maybe the past like two, two and a half, three years, um, that I've been able to open my mind in a different way. Um, because my, my mom who I absolutely love and adore, um, is religious and she believes in God, believes in Jesus and, um, very much uses that language.
00:34:55
Speaker
and doesn't necessarily feel comfortable with me calling myself a witch. There's a lot of conditioning there. But what I've, what I had the choice to sort of do is know that when she says God, I may say the universe or like source. And that is the same thing. We just use different words for it. And when she says,
00:35:25
Speaker
Oh, I'm going to pray for this person. For me, that looks like I'm going to offer up my intention and my energy to the universe so that something happens. It's the same thing, just different language. So I've been able to meet my mom and other people who believe in God.
00:35:43
Speaker
where they are and we can have common ground in that way. So that's been really healing for me to explore and it's not perfect. Like I have my moments of course. Right. And it's beautiful though to hear you say though that like while it might have taken years and it's still
00:36:02
Speaker
it's still something you're working toward. For anyone listening who may be in that position of just still feeling really triggered by certain words, it won't be forever. It is so possible to reach a place of not only neutrality but understanding, you know what I mean, compassion at the very least.
Finding Common Ground in Spirituality
00:36:20
Speaker
And what's so beautiful about it is you have, even if you're younger or you're the one that's in your family embarking on that journey,
00:36:32
Speaker
you can set the tone for the conversation. For me, I learned my power in that way where if I can approach a conversation about God with my mom in a grounded, loving, open, receptive way, it's more difficult for her to meet me at this super triggered, closed-minded way. Not impossible, but it's...
00:37:02
Speaker
More like, oh, she's done it, but it just, it happens less. You know, we all do it, but you can, it opens up the conversation for healing and finding common ground, which is at the end of the day, where we want to be, you know? Right. And so much of the human experience is about us being different and having these differences. And I think
00:37:28
Speaker
That's what truly makes the difference between a person who lives in joy and a person who lives in misery is their ability to see where someone else is coming from and understand that someone else's views on life is not something that you can take personally. Like that's how they're choosing to get through. Like, and if they choose to get through by believing in God and saying 15 Hail Marys and doing the whatever, like then that's, as long as they're spreading kindness and stuff, then there's no reason to judge, you know?
00:37:56
Speaker
Yeah, I love hearing us all also kind of touch on like the mother wound throughout this conversation. Because I have a similar but different experience with my mom where she actually has gotten on board. She does not identify anymore as Catholic or Christian. And she it's actually caused a lot of like, I would I just want to I would explain it more as like friction between her and some of our other family members, specifically like my father,
00:38:24
Speaker
Like her, my mom and dad, they have their own situation going on, but where my dad got really freaked out. And he was like, I went home to visit my family a few years ago. And my mom was really into like wanting to learn about the universe and a law of attraction and kind of the more esoteric way of viewing
00:38:44
Speaker
spirituality rather than like what she was taught her whole life because my mom went from a Catholic school from kindergarten through graduating high school. And like so all she didn't go to college either. So all of her education has just been in Catholicism and like based in that. And so when I kind of branched out from that, she wasn't against it. Actually, my mom's always been like a big supporter of mine.
00:39:06
Speaker
She just thinks whatever I do is like really cool. So that was awesome. I felt very lucky to have her like supported. But then for her to be she used to just be like, Oh, yeah, whatever you do, that's cool. I don't get it. But like, do you? She's now come to a place where like I said a few years ago, I came home, I brought some crystals, I bought them incense while I was there. And then my dad was like, what the hell, like you're turning your mom into a witch. And this is witchcraft. And I was like, actually, I bought the same incense that they use at Catholic Church. Like,
00:39:34
Speaker
And no one ever talks about that. Like people are like, oh, she burns incense and like worships these crystals. I don't worship anything, first of all, other than like myself. I like honor myself. But but the whole incense thing hella threw me off because I was like this the exact same brand that they use at church. The church is witchy as hell. Are you kidding? Honestly, we could go on and on about that in another episode about how the church is witchy.
00:40:01
Speaker
I mean, we're on our knees chanting incense going we're drinking the blood and eating the body like you're telling me that's not kind of cult like behavior. That's not kind of just a little bit.
00:40:13
Speaker
And they want to say witchcraft is esoteric because people like to hold rocks. Meanwhile, we're over here like, drink the blood, eat the body of Jesus. You, as young as second grade, do it. Right. Confess all your sins to me and then know that you're going to be shamed no matter what. It just never worked for me.
00:40:35
Speaker
Confession always actually really messed with my head because I tried very hard since I was very young. I think a lot of people can relate to this too. When you grow up in a place that is not stable, you try to create a lot of stability yourself. You try to be subconsciously. You don't know this as a kid, like, oh, I'm going to fix it on this so I can be in control of something. But that's what you do subconsciously. And so I
00:41:00
Speaker
since I had so much instability in my life, tried to be as reliable, as stable, as on top of my shit, like basically as perfect as I could be all the time. So when they would be like, all right, go to confession, confess your sins. I was like, what are you fucking talking about? I'm seven years old. I work so hard to not do bad things. Like I'm also seven. I haven't fucking like murdered anyone.
00:41:22
Speaker
Like what are you like, what am I about to confess here? Like my little brother was being a shit and I corrected him and then he got upset with me. Like, so I would lie in confession.
00:41:30
Speaker
And what would I lie about? Because I was like, I don't have anything to say. And so I would be like, oh, I told a lie. And the lie was what I was telling in that moment. I was like, yep, I told a lie. Sometimes I lie. And I would never be specific because I was like, I really don't. I'm seven, guys. I'm seven. Let's just leave it at that. I have nothing major to confess. I am just a seven-year-old girl trying her best. But then the priest would be like, all right, two Hail Marys, and then you're absolved. I was like, whoa, nice. That was easy.
00:42:02
Speaker
See, and those were the questions that I would have to ask and that's where it threw me off from that whole lifestyle or whatever. That religion was like, why do I just have to say I can kill someone and then I just have to say a couple of prayers? Or like, I remember my mom always made fun of me because I got so mad when I found out that priests can't get married.
00:42:22
Speaker
And like women can't be priests. Like I was like, why did they have to just be like, there were so many questions. That's why I've loved having the spiritual journey and especially like the one that I'm on, that's very similar to your guys is where like, I'm choosing what feels right. Like I, I get to pick and choose what I, what I add into it, what I don't do, what I can, like, and there's no, no one telling me that I'm wrong. Except for listening to myself and that like, this feels good. So I don't have to question and I'll never like,
00:42:52
Speaker
push it on anyone else, I'll give people suggestions, right? Like you said, like meditating, you know, try that, try this, try that. But like, it is such a personal thing when you find what really aligns you and it's so, it's just unquestionable. Like I would never, like anytime people come up to me and try to like, you know, not that it happens often, but like anyone who tries to, well, it doesn't this, like it's not really this or it's like, but like whatever, if they call it, you know, crazy that I talk to spirits or like whatever, I'm just like,
00:43:20
Speaker
Okay, but do you wear the same like jersey every time the Eagles play like, like, you know, like, there's so many things, right? Like, there's so many things, and it's just so empowering to find your spirituality and make it yours.
00:43:38
Speaker
Well, and there's also something to be said about Christians and Catholics who have made it still their own. Like, you know, my grandma would call herself a cafeteria Catholic where she picks and chooses what she agrees with. So my grandma was best friends with her brother, her brother.
00:43:54
Speaker
Unfortunately, so my uncle Jerry, may he rest in peace. He died in the past few years. And he growing up, he's, he's been gay. I mean, he's gay, first of all, he was gay his whole life. He's always known he was gay. That was very hard for him growing up being in a Catholic family. I mean, when I say Catholic, my grandma's Irish, like, like immigrated from Ireland, like her parents are straight out of Ireland. Very Catholic, very old school Catholic. Her brother
00:44:19
Speaker
was a gay man. And my grandma just always knew like, yeah, that that literally doesn't negate anything about how wonderful the person he is and about his spiritual journey. They were best friends since they were young. And my grandma's always said like, Oh, yeah, I resonate with a lot of things in Catholicism. And then there's a lot that I just don't resonate with. However, my grandma's
00:44:41
Speaker
relationship to spirit, to source, to God is her going to church multiple times a week and she will just sit in the back and just do her own prayer because that's where she's grown up in that environment and that's where she feels a safe connection. That's where she goes to tap in, but she has her own personal connection and her own personal beliefs.
Embracing Personal Spirituality & Diversity
00:45:00
Speaker
You know what I mean? And I think that that is absolutely okay. Oh yeah.
00:45:04
Speaker
Because she's also very outspoken about her beliefs as well, like in a very like all human life is valid and matters. We don't get to, you know, oppress anybody. We don't get to judge anybody. That's not great. That's not the mission. You know what I mean? And so like I do want to like wrap it back up to
00:45:24
Speaker
even if you do, we, we dog on Catholicism because that is our experience. Bitch, I'm not about to dog on being a Muslim. That would be straight up insane. I don't have a background in that. You know what I mean? But like, this is my truth. This is my story. That's why we harp on it so much. But there is no hate there. There is no, um, like actual disgust. It's all very like when we talk about
00:45:45
Speaker
you know, harsh feelings, trigger words, charged words. Those are all very personal. Those are all very our specific journey. If you can relate, that's amazing. But if you find solace and comfort in Catholicism, in Christianity, and you have your own personal relationship to God, to source, that's all that matters.
00:46:02
Speaker
Yeah. Totally. And honestly, if it brings you peace, if it brings you into the vibration of love and joy and fulfills you and you're not hurting anyone, that is so beautiful. Absolutely. And just doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Just be a good fucking person. Just be a good fucking person.
00:46:26
Speaker
Um, all right, you guys, I think for this episode, we have so much more that we want Kaylee to talk about, but lucky for you, we have a whole series. Uh, so if you were wondering, the series title is the divine feminine embodiment series with Kaylee Kiman. This was just episode one.
00:46:41
Speaker
We have so many more planned already in the works that we're so excited about. Kaylee, I can't thank you enough for not only sharing your time with us, but your energy and your heart. It is so obvious, the vibrations through the screen, through like the metaverse or whatever the hell this is called. Like I can feel it and it is so healing and I just know our audience. You guys, you are so lucky. I'm sure you all enjoyed this episode and we all thank you so much. I can't thank you enough, honestly.
00:47:05
Speaker
Seriously. Thank you both so much. This has been so juicy and beautiful. And I'm so glad I got to share in this space with you guys. Well, we look forward to get juicier. Oh, you don't even know you guys. Episode two, you're not ready. You're not ready. I don't even know if I'm ready. Well, we're going to be ready. Oh, well, yes, absolutely. We'll get ready together. No one knows what we're talking about either. We're just having this inside joke publicly.
00:47:36
Speaker
All right, you guys, thank you so much for listening. I'm going to go ahead and just close us off per usual. Stay high. Bye.