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Imposter Syndrome
159 Plays1 year ago
If you have ever struggled with imposter syndrome or are going through it now - this episode is for you! Imposter syndrome takes some mindset shifts that we share with you as we go deep into the important steps to overcoming it and taking action despite your fear and insecurity.
Find us:
Instagram: @the_esthi_coach @sweetcheekswaxingskincare @sweetcheeksuniversity
beyondestheticspodcast@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Beyond Aesthetics'
00:00:04
Speaker
It didn't kick us out. So let's go. Good morning. Yes, good morning, everybody. It is a good morning, though. I feel really good this morning. How do you feel?
00:00:28
Speaker
I feel really good this morning. I got up out of bed at 5am this morning and I did my workout and I had my alone time and the sun is shining here. It just like makes everything better. It really does for a long time. Wow. I'm really jealous of that.
00:00:46
Speaker
Yeah, so we're feeling good and I'm really excited about our episode today, but really quick before we get into it, we just want to reintroduce ourselves for anybody who is new here. This is the Beyond Aesthetics podcast and we are your host. I'm Tiffany Orr. I'm Jessica Peterson.
Exploring Imposter Syndrome
00:01:02
Speaker
We are so happy that you guys have found us and are here and we're going to be talking about imposter syndrome today and this is going to be a really good episode. I think I need this episode too. I know I do.
00:01:16
Speaker
because we have a lot to share, but I also, I always, you know, need the reminders that we have to share. So I'm really excited to hear what you have to share today, Jess. Well, before we started recording, we're going back and forth because I was like, you've mastered this. Like you could take over this whole episode. And she's like, no, I think the same thing about you. So I think it just goes to show that this is really something that everybody struggles with. We struggle with it a lot over and over and over.
00:01:45
Speaker
It's really easy to look from the outside at someone else and be like, you've mastered this, which is clearly what is happening this morning, which was really hilarious. I think everybody, to be honest, is on pretty equal ground with imposter syndrome. I don't care how successful you are. We want to start by just defining what imposter syndrome is.
00:02:13
Speaker
I think in my opinion, imposter syndrome is basically just that you have a lot of self-doubt. You feel like called to do something or sometimes too, maybe you're like thrown into a role and you start doubting yourself. You feel like you're not ready. You feel like you're not good enough. You're like, what are people going to think? They're being judged, different things like that. You just feel like you're an imposter and people are going to
00:02:41
Speaker
say, who does she think she is for doing this, she's not qualified, you know, so it's basically just self doubt and the fear of judgment and feeling like you don't have what it takes to do that thing to step into that role.
00:02:57
Speaker
either that, again, you might be called to do something or I know a lot of people who kind of just get thrown into roles. We work with several of them actually in our coaching group that were sort of thrown into what they're doing. And so I've seen many different scenarios where this can come up. So that is how I would define it. Would you add anything to that or do you have anything different to say? You nailed it on the head perfectly. That's exactly what imposter syndrome is.
00:03:27
Speaker
And imposter syndrome can happen at any time, at any moment, at any place that you're at.
Reframing Imposter Syndrome
00:03:35
Speaker
You can conquer it and then it can come back later. So there's no level of success, like you said.
00:03:44
Speaker
you know, person who's seemingly made it that doesn't struggle with imposter syndrome. I've talked to very successful people and they definitely, definitely still struggle with it. So I don't think it's something that maybe necessarily ever goes away, but I love to, to look at imposter syndrome at is it, it's, it's there to serve us and it's trying to teach us something, which is,
00:04:09
Speaker
a different way to look at it and approaching it with a different mindset. But yeah, like you said, you nailed it on the head perfectly. That's what imposter syndrome is. And then we'll kind of get into it of our own experiences of how we dealt with imposter syndrome.
00:04:23
Speaker
Absolutely. And honestly, by the end of this episode, that is our goal today is to help you guys reframe the way that you experience imposter syndrome and how we see it and how we can overcome it. And that's always the goal. And I've had this conversation probably, you are probably the first one
00:04:43
Speaker
that as you started to grow you are really struggling with it and i was like actually i think this is a good thing i think that we can look at this in a whole different perspective and so that's what we want to bring to the episode today is helping you identify and then teaching you how to overcome it which also just includes changing gear.
00:05:02
Speaker
whole mindset around it. So I want to start by just telling you guys about our own experiences of imposter syndrome because in no way shape or form are we immune to it. We are both going through it
00:05:19
Speaker
at least once a week currently growing our own coaching businesses and putting podcasts out there. And that is actually a ton of imposter syndrome. I actually am still struggling with it a lot. And so we want to just let you guys in on those behind the scenes of really how we're feeling about everything right now so that you can see that
00:05:44
Speaker
everybody really goes through this, including us. And so we're not coming to you today saying we have completely mastered this, but I do think that we have a really good perspective on it. And so we're going to get on your level with you. Um, and so who wants to start? Do you, do you want to go? I don't have anything even like pre-planned to say about it. Um, I'm going to pull from here here. I'll start for sure.
Tiffany's Business Journey with Imposter Syndrome
00:06:10
Speaker
Um,
00:06:10
Speaker
Really where I have struggled and I'm still currently struggling with imposter syndrome is this new business of my sweet cheeks University that I started going on 18 months ago and You know, I'm I've been
00:06:28
Speaker
I've been in a certain role for so long and I've gotten comfortable in that role and I feel like I wouldn't say master that role, but I feel confident in my role as an esthetician, as a skincare business owner, as working in the treatment room, doing everything that I've been doing for the last 10 plus years. And now that I've changed roles,
00:06:52
Speaker
it feels so uncomfortable. It still feels uncomfortable and I'm like 18 plus months into this new business and I still don't feel like I know what I'm doing and I still struggle with so much self-doubt because I'm not, I, it's new. And so I think, you know, it's easy to
00:07:13
Speaker
really get stuck in that mindset. And I've allowed myself to get stuck in that mindset a lot. And it's kind of a daily struggle for me because I'm still navigating, you know, the finding out where I want this business to go, feeling confident in this new role and showing up on social media and all of these different avenues that I'm trying to build and grow and excel at.
00:07:36
Speaker
Um, I've got this, like, feel like this imposter syndrome writing right here on my shoulder, you know, whispering into my ear, you are not qualified. You don't know what you're doing. You're, who do you think you are? What are people saying? You know, all of those things that we just talked about that imposter syndrome is. So that's really, I'm, I'm in it if, you know, to be quite perfectly honest with you, I am in it right now. And, um, so yeah.
00:08:05
Speaker
I'm still navigating it, so that's why I'm so excited for this episode is I think just us discussing it brings awareness to the topic and will help me and you and everybody else listening navigate it too.
00:08:19
Speaker
I would say the same thing. I had been wanting to put a coaching business of sorts out there for a really long time. I'm talking close to nine years, you guys, before I ever actually did
00:08:36
Speaker
anything about it because I felt like such an imposter and like I didn't know what I was doing and you know, there was a lot of I haven't ever I've started treatment rooms and it's never been my own business like I will go into a spot and I will help them get set up in their own treatment room to have you know aesthetics and I'll go work out of there and get it successful and then kind of hand it off. So I've done that several times but
00:09:05
Speaker
I have never been like a single esthetician. And so my perspective basically in my coaching is an observationist. I have worked with hundreds and hundreds of spa partners all over, mostly the Western US, a little bit on the East Coast. And that is how I know everything that I know. I am an extremely observant person by nature. And so I've seen what works. I've seen what doesn't work.
00:09:34
Speaker
and literally everything in between and I work very, very closely with every type of spot owner. And, but I just still felt like, well, I've never actually done it myself and it held me back for so many years. And I
00:09:51
Speaker
really over, let's see, it was it was really last year that I just felt like I really needed to step into it and felt like such a calling to do it. I had had coaching groups for two years prior to me even telling the world that that was what I did. It was just such a close group of people and people who would find me and you know, it wasn't anything that was like extremely organized, but it really wasn't until
00:10:19
Speaker
last year that it was something that I felt like I could no longer not do. And I would sit down and have a conversation with Tiffany or with my friend Taylor or several people that I work with that are like, why aren't you coaching? Why aren't you doing this? And it did kind of take me getting into a tighter financial situation for Tiffany to be like, what are you doing?
00:10:47
Speaker
This is completely ridiculous. And I was like, you know what, you're right. And, and so that's where my imposter syndrome comes from. I also really struggle with a fear of judgment from my own peers and eminence, because it's something that I've really struggled with before, with other areas of my life. And so I'm always afraid of like what they are going to think about what I'm doing. And that
00:11:12
Speaker
really held me back for a long time too. And it was another reason why I didn't really say a whole lot about my coaching groups and like my mastermind calls that I had been doing. So that's kind of what it is for me. I'm like, do I actually have the experience that people need?
The Power of Taking Action
00:11:28
Speaker
Yes, I do. It might not be my own personal, but I have hundreds and hundreds of other people's experience to pull from.
00:11:36
Speaker
And maybe that's an even better perspective. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know why it was holding me back for so long because I'm like, yeah, I don't have my own, but gosh, I literally have 11 years of experience of watching
00:11:53
Speaker
and working really closely with other people who have done it and so I'm very qualified to give the advice that I do and then with my peers with Eminence I think you know I just have to like not care I just have to let that go and
00:12:10
Speaker
know that I am very in alignment with what I'm supposed to be doing. And so I kind of just have to continue brushing off those feelings whenever they come up. But I will say too, having a podcast is, I don't know.
00:12:26
Speaker
amazing. I love it. This is actually like always my favorite part of my week. I always really look forward to this and think that we have so much value to share and I love any conversation that Tiffany and I have is always so good and it's always like meant to be.
00:12:46
Speaker
But putting it out there for everybody else to listen to, I'm like, oh my gosh, what are they, like, what are they going to think? Am I being a little bit too, are my opinions, you know, going to be judged or like, what are people going to think about what I have to say about this? And, you know, at the end of the day, I'm just like, well, everybody has an opinion about everything. Like, this is my experience. This is the place that I'm coming from.
00:13:09
Speaker
because I have observed this over many, many years with many people. And so this is the opinion that I have formed about, you know, so I might have perspectives and ideas that are different. And I do have imposter syndrome, or I do have like a fear of judgment about a lot of my opinions about things. But you know, I think that that is just kind of the thing about imposter syndrome is just that
00:13:36
Speaker
And taking action is really where that magic happens. And I really
00:13:44
Speaker
If you don't have imposter syndrome, it means that you aren't doing anything uncomfortable. It just, you know, I'm like imposter syndrome can be viewed in a very positive light because it just means that there's growth happening. It means that you're very uncomfortable and that's always a good thing. Nobody likes it. We're definitely wired for comfort and that is what imposter syndrome is. It's like we're doing something new. We're doing something bigger.
00:14:13
Speaker
And it's that space between where we are and where we're trying to go. And that's kind of where that self doubt creeps in. It's really just that our brains are wired to keep us very safe and keep us very comfortable. And so when we're in that space, when we're in that between place, your brain kicks in those
00:14:34
Speaker
patterns of self-doubt because it's really trying to pull on the reins and keep you super comfortable and super safe. When you can recognize that that's just what's happening, you're like, actually, if I am not getting uncomfortable, then I'm staying way too safe. That's actually not a good thing to me because then we're not growing. We aren't stepping into the next level of our lives.
00:15:02
Speaker
doing anything that is stretching us and that's what life is all about. It is about we're here to grow. We're here to learn. We're here to stretch ourselves. We're here to step into the best possible version of ourselves. Not only that but we're here to serve and we're here to help people and so there's gonna be a lot of discomfort that happens and that is that where the imposter syndrome sits to me. It's just that
00:15:26
Speaker
Yes, like I said, imposter syndrome comes in during that space of I'm here now, but I'm trying to get here. I want to get here. I feel like I'm being called here. I was thrown into this. And imposter syndrome is just your brain trying to keep you really safe and comfortable. And so the only way that we can overcome that is to just like those feelings now knowing that your brain is just wired to do that and it thinks it's doing you a favor. I think the most important thing
00:15:54
Speaker
is to recognize and accept that. This is going to happen. You're probably not going to get over those feelings like this will probably continue to come up throughout your life. But we have to wire ourselves to take action despite these feelings. And until you can do that, you are going to just stay stuck. You're going to stay in a free state, you know. And so that is
00:16:21
Speaker
how we have to move on from imposter syndrome and get past it. It's just about taking action despite those feelings that come up for us. Yeah, absolutely. Imposter syndrome, just to reiterate what you said, is prompting us to push past our limits.
00:16:38
Speaker
where confidence and growth and excellence lives, it's past those limits right there. And do you also feel like imposter syndrome correlates with fear of failure?
Fear of Failure and Imposter Syndrome
00:16:51
Speaker
Absolutely. I've had this, I've been working on this Brazilian wax e-course for like going on five months now.
00:16:59
Speaker
And I, we filmed it last fall. It's been way more than five months. Well, actually it's been on my heart for like years, but it's probably, it has been way more than five months. Cause we talked about it at the beginning of August. See, it has been so long and it is, it's so close to being done. And I, and it's just, it's that fear of failure that is like,
00:17:28
Speaker
right there for me. And it's like, it's hard. And I also truly believe though, that imposter syndrome is basically the work of the devil in a sense, if you believe in that. And the devil uses our ego against us. And that's how imposter syndrome can also rear its ugly head. So those are definitely correlated to imposter syndrome, fear of failure, and our ego getting in the way.
00:17:55
Speaker
because at the end of the day, am I still gonna release this e-course? Yes, it's been on my heart forever. I've been called to serve. I know that I am an excellent educator for Brazilian waxing. I know that I have value to give to the world and I'm still gonna do it. Is it still scary? Yes, but I know that I'm going to accomplish that confidence and that growth and that excellence on the other side of that scary thing.
00:18:22
Speaker
Yeah, you know, and it reminds me, I want to I think that we can always be searching for evidence. And, you know, when I finally came out with my coaching page, I was terrified that I was calling myself what I was calling myself.
00:18:40
Speaker
And so quickly though, everybody loved what I was doing. And they were like, I'm so grateful that you're talking about these things. I'm so grateful you're doing this. And I was like, yeah, I don't know why I was so scared. So it's interesting because it's true. As soon as we take the action, we see success and appreciation for that action really quickly.
00:19:09
Speaker
And so we can always look back at those things. It was actually the same when I actually became a rep myself and moved back to Idaho and took over here. I definitely felt like an impostor, but I literally won an award.
00:19:27
Speaker
that same year. I'm not always because we haven't had a business conference for a while, but when that happened, I was like, oh my gosh, what is wrong with me? I do know what I'm doing. I think it's just
00:19:43
Speaker
That's such a big it was such a huge move for me. It was so scary. I was terrified Failing I was living in my parents basement at 30 years old. I wasn't making any money It was just the biggest risk that I had ever taken just on faith that this might work out for me and And so there was a ton of imposter syndrome, but then you know, look what's happened like I won an award pretty quickly and I have
00:20:10
Speaker
definitely become very successful at being a rep. I'm not the most successful. I always have so much room for growth, but we can always just look back at these things in our lives and be like, man, I felt like this then and look what happened. And sometimes it just happens very, very quickly, just like putting the podcast out here. I love when people tell us that they listen to the podcast and they love it. And I'm like, good. I'm like, I haven't had any negative feedback whatsoever.
00:20:39
Speaker
You know, and so that's another thing that I think that we can do is just continually look back at that evidence. And I just feel like as soon as you do release that course, like the first sale that you have, you're going to be like, that was ridiculous. Because that's every time I've like struggled with something like this, it's proven itself on the other side of it. And it just goes back to courage precedes confidence.
00:21:07
Speaker
And isn't it funny how we always look for that, um, that clarification before we do the scary thing, but it doesn't come until after we do it and take the courage to take the action. So I think if you're in a season of imposter syndrome, it's really important to remember that it's going to take some courage on your part and action, even if it's messy action, and then you're going to have that confirmation on the other side of it.
00:21:38
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm going to read. I was listening to Mel Robbins this morning, and this is really exactly what she was saying. And so I hurried and transcribed it and typed out this portion. So we see this a lot with people who are kind of, let's see, small businesses. But even the most successful people struggle with this. But we do see it a lot in these smaller businesses or people who are thrown into roles. Or like me right now, trying to turn a side hustle
00:22:08
Speaker
into something bigger and I've already made really big financial decisions about, you know, like, um, uh, you know, my role in Utah. I'm like really stepping away from a lot of that. And so my side hustle needs like, I have to put it out here. I have to continue growing it despite how I'm feeling about it. Like it just, it literally has to happen. I don't have a choice, right?
00:22:35
Speaker
And so we get ourselves into these situations. And so that's usually where you're seeing it, like we said. So here's what she had to say about this, and she's just our favorite. So she says, you cannot overcome the feelings, but you can take action despite them. And the more you do that, the more you realize that you are the type of person who can do these things because you're proving to yourself that you are and that you can.
00:22:57
Speaker
Don't focus on those thoughts of imposter syndrome. Just focus on taking action. Through pushing through, you learn that you are the type of person that does what he or she says they are going to do. The problem is that we have patterns of thinking that cause self-doubt and cause us to freeze, so we have to change that pattern of thinking and you can't do that without taking the action.
00:23:23
Speaker
Oh, I love Mel so much. Like why does she like, where does she even come from? I know. Like a guru. She's so right. It takes that action. And that's, I mean, of course you're going to feel like you don't know what you're doing and like an imposter when you're doing something new because you've never done it before. It's actually very simple when you break it down.
00:23:47
Speaker
And our, our human bodies and our human minds are designed, like you said, to seek comfort, to go with routine, to stick with what we know. And so yes, it feels scary when we're trying to do something that we don't know that we've never done before. It's not in our system. It's not ingrained in us yet. And taking that action, even if it's messy action, even if it's like imperfect,
00:24:13
Speaker
Of course, it's going to be you're new, you're a baby at this, and you're going to get better with continued action, and then it's going to be ingrained in your system, in your mind, in your soul, and you're going to just continue to grow through it as you continue to take that action. Grow through it is key.
00:24:32
Speaker
Yes. We grow through what we go through. Yes, exactly. I think it's also really important to remember that we're all just figuring things out as we go. It's really easy to
00:24:47
Speaker
look in at somebody else's situation and think that they have their shit together. I'm here to tell you that I literally don't know anybody who does. Even the most successful people that I know, they just don't. We really all start somewhere. This is something I've told you over and over again. I'm like, when you started Sweet Cheeks, you didn't really know what you were doing.
00:25:09
Speaker
You were really just, I don't know, checking some boxes for about five years before we met. I was actually, I must have been listening to one of our podcasts and I started thinking about that timeline and I was like, she had actually been in her business for what, four or five years before we even met?
00:25:27
Speaker
Isn't that crazy? And up until then, you were checking some boxes, but there really wasn't a lot of growth there. And that was a huge learning process. Even you getting comfortable with retail, understanding the value that that would bring to your business. And you guys, Tiffany struggled with that when I first met her. When we first met,
00:25:50
Speaker
You really weren't retailing. You had a little bit of another skincare company that we like. It's a good company. But retail wasn't a part of Tiffany's business, you guys. Tiffany started somewhere. I did. And I just look back at that. And I have a lot of grace for myself then, because again, I didn't know what I was doing. I was just learning and growing. And it makes me so grateful to look back at that timeline. And that's something, too, a good point to bring up is
00:26:21
Speaker
Um, if you're struggling with imposter syndrome, a great way to overcome it is to look back at how far you've come. That's a simple way and easy, quick way to do it because you have come so much farther than you probably ever thought you could. And if you're not taking note of that, it's really simple to just be chasing the next big thing constantly and be on this treadmill.
00:26:48
Speaker
treadmill of like chasing the dangling carrot that you're never going to achieve if you can't appreciate the growth that you've already done. Yes, we all start somewhere every new business every new project going to aesthetic school in the first place you guys like we all come from
00:27:05
Speaker
a baseline of nothing and just figuring it out. And like Tiffany said, just growing through it. And that's how we get to where we are. And so again, it's just going back to look at the evidence of our past and just remembering that we all start somewhere and we all just decided to take messy action and do it anyways, despite the way that we were feeling at the time. Absolutely. And it's, yeah.
00:27:33
Speaker
It's from, it's, it's important to remember that, um, imposter syndrome can serve us too. And going back to that mindset and that energy that we have around it and really looking at, okay, say that I'm feeling like an imposter. What, what is it trying to teach me or what, um, beliefs about myself, am I holding onto or, you know, um,
00:27:59
Speaker
things like that can really help you navigate through that imposter syndrome as well. Yeah. And you know, I remember telling you this and when I was telling you this, it wasn't even a thought until I had the conversation with you years ago. And I said, I think that imposter syndrome is a good thing because it shows that you really care. You really want to be good at what you're doing.
00:28:24
Speaker
you really want to do the right thing. Like you really want to help people. You really want to serve. And so it also showing you how big your heart actually is that you're like, I want to do this thing, but I want to make sure it's good. I want to make sure it's right. And I'm like, there's nothing wrong with that either. To me, I'm like, that is great. If we can look at it as
00:28:46
Speaker
a really positive thing and recognize it and identify it and then be like, actually, this is really helping me. Number one, it's okay that I'm uncomfortable. I have evidence in my past that I can figure things out. Everything was figureoutable. I've had success in the past when I've had these similar feelings and this is a really good thing because it just shows how much I really care and that I want to be really good at what I'm doing.
00:29:15
Speaker
Absolutely. I love that. So who cares? Who cares? We do. Well, in any case, experiencing fear of judgment and feeling like an imposter and worrying about what people are going to think or say, I think it's important to ask yourself, you know, if those people that I'm worried about found out what I was doing right this second, and if they had things to say about it, would that change the trajectory of where you want to go?
00:29:44
Speaker
And if you ask yourself that and if you're immediately like, no, I'm still going to do the thing, then it actually like takes that fear away. You take that power back.
00:29:54
Speaker
And you're like, okay, it's already happened. You can play that in your mind. If they found out, what would they say? If you imagine the things that they would say, and you're still determined to do the thing that you're setting out to do, you're taking your power back, and then it makes it very simple because you're still gonna do it anyways. And you're gonna be okay with what they think or say, and it really doesn't matter.
00:30:17
Speaker
It really doesn't matter. We really can't care because there's also a perspective of why are they judging me for that? Judgment is always a mirror when we judge somebody. When we look at somebody else who is doing something big, we can tend to want to judge that and say, oh, who do they think they are? But that's a mirror of, I wish that I had that in me. I wish that I
00:30:47
Speaker
I did those things. I wish that I was doing something about the things that I want to do. And so we also have to take that and say, I don't know what is going on internally with them, but I can realize that that's always more of a reflection of them than it is of me. I will say that over the years, I have learned
00:31:09
Speaker
to not struggle so much with judgment. Like it comes up for me sometimes, but that's something that I had to learn a long time ago. Once I realized that, that's just a mirror for whatever it is that somebody's going through. It's a lot easier to let go of that because you can realize that it really has nothing to do with you. Like literally whatsoever. Absolutely. And then you're like, Oh, well,
00:31:36
Speaker
It actually makes it very simple to move forward once you can realize that and I have seen you I would call it master it and I always admire you for that because I've seen you Just you know over the last however long we've known each other and you've always been so good at that and I admire that so much in you and I've really tried to emulate that in my own life and it I
00:31:59
Speaker
has helped watching you carry yourself that way. And so thank you for that. That's my mom. Is that it? Absolutely. My mom is, to be honest, one of the most philosophical and wise people that I've ever met. And she doesn't even know it. But I was taught that from a really young age that nobody's thinking about me. Nobody's judging me. Everybody is too busy just judging themselves. And as I've gotten older, and especially with the work that I do, just being in front of people,
00:32:29
Speaker
every single day for the last 11 years, there's a lot of feelings that can come up. And then of course, experiences in my personal life of judgment. And I'm just like, well, I don't think that that actually has anything to do with me. And of course, the older that we get and we're like, my mom was always right.
00:32:49
Speaker
But yeah, that was actually instilled in me just from a very young age. And I'm so grateful for that because like I've said in previous episodes, I do work with and know a lot of women who really struggle with that. But I that's another perspective that I have is watching them do that and watch how much it destroys them. And I know that they do that because I know that they actually just have a lot of internal struggles with their own self judgment and self criticism and
00:33:15
Speaker
That has even made it that much easier for me in the last couple of years to let all of that go. It's an even closer and deeper look at what that really is. If you're having imposter syndrome because you think that people are judging you, well, they might be and that's their own problem.
00:33:36
Speaker
It really doesn't have anything to do with you. I have to remind myself of that still sometimes too, but I can tell you guys that it is the absolute truth. Absolutely. When we take on other people's judgment as our own, all we're doing is creating roadblocks for ourselves. It's really not ours to carry anyways. Like you said, it has nothing to do with us.
00:34:02
Speaker
a lot of people though do take it on as their own. And really all they're doing is placing imaginary roadblocks to where they want to be. And it's going to take them a lot longer. It's going to be a lot harder for them to get there. They don't think, don't even realize they know what they're doing. It's kind of sad. So yeah. Yeah.
00:34:22
Speaker
Absolutely. Another piece of advice that I gave somebody the other day who was thrown into a leadership position that she felt like she didn't really belong in, as I said, you know, it would never hurt to just have a conversation with your team that lets them know that you are with them and not
00:34:45
Speaker
above them because that's going to allow a lot of grace and kind of take some of that pressure off. I've seen that happen in so many situations, not just in the coaching group, but I see it all the time where people are thrown into roles that they aren't quite ready for.
00:35:05
Speaker
Maybe they never even thought that they would be in a role like that or maybe they think that they don't belong there. I'm here to tell you that you do. It wouldn't have happened. I do definitely believe that you belong there. But especially after our leadership episode, I really got thinking about sometimes as a leader,
00:35:26
Speaker
It's really important to when you are feeling that imposter syndrome or you were thrown into a role that you weren't quite ready for, bring your team into the picture and just let them know, I'm here with you. You've done this before with your own team. You're like, I'm still like, we're all really figuring this out together. And you kind of had to do that before and figure things out and have grace from them and even let them help you. And then you're more able to own your role as you grow.
00:35:56
Speaker
Absolutely. Does that make sense what I'm trying to say? Yeah, I relate to that. And that's something that I did when we first started building our team and having monthly team meetings and I really had to just like
00:36:09
Speaker
put myself and sit down at their level. And I still try to do that to this day. I don't ever want to put myself above them. If anything, you know, like we talked about in our leadership episode, I'm behind them helping push them to growth. But by bringing the conversation and opening up that floor of like, I'm in this with you, we're learning together, it brings them into it with you. And then like you said, it opens up a lot of grace from your team.
00:36:37
Speaker
Um, and they can help you navigate, help you grow, help you step into that leadership role. And then too, if there's struggles within your business that, um, you're carrying as the leader and you're trying to, you know, carry your team as well, bringing your team into those struggles, you don't have to offload those struggles to them, but just communication, you guys is so important. And, um,
00:37:05
Speaker
that's something too that I would recommend is it really does just create grace and it opens up so many other doors. Like your team has ideas that you haven't thought of yet that you maybe can't even realize they can help you. They're your team for a reason. So bring them into that and it will really help you. I'll help all of you as a team elevate and help your business elevate as well. Yeah. And I think too,
00:37:35
Speaker
It makes them feel like just to talk about leadership for a second. That's coming from a trust-based leadership and building the team, making the team feel like they're involved. Yeah, they have to feel some ownership in what they're doing. Even if they're an employee and it's not their business, they still think it's important for them to feel some sort of ownership so that they can pour themselves into their role. And because the business is success,
00:38:04
Speaker
directly depends on each and every team members, you know, support and effort. And it doesn't matter what type of team member they are from, you know, the left to the right and everybody in between. It definitely is going to depend on everyone's effort and support of the entire business so that you can all thrive and grow. I very much believe that.
00:38:26
Speaker
Yeah, so if your imposter syndrome is coming from that place where you've kind of been thrown into something and you're feeling like you're on a stage with every decision that you make, it really doesn't need to be that way. You just bring yourself down with your team and
00:38:44
Speaker
allow them to help you and all learn together, bring them into decisions that are being made. And then as you grow through that, you'll be able to take on your leadership role a lot more smoothly and a lot more confidently. And then again, that is like really excellent leadership too. You know, another thing about imposter syndrome that actually just came to me like 15 minutes ago as we were chatting is making a badass list.
Building Confidence with a 'Badass List'
00:39:14
Speaker
You know, I think when we, when we were continuing to talk about searching for evidence in the past of when we have, you know, really excelled, like we overcame those feelings, and then we really excelled, we became successful at this thing, I think that it's so smart to
00:39:32
Speaker
literally have an actual list of all of the cool things that you have accomplished. Like literally go back to your childhood and make a list of all of these great things that you have accomplished. So when we do start to feel these feelings, I think having a list like that is going to make it a lot easier to take action before you totally feel like you're ready because you're like, man, I've done some really cool things.
00:40:02
Speaker
I love that so much. I have never created a badass list. Have you? I kind of have a little bit of one in my head, but I think that we should do that. I think me and you by next Friday need to have done that.
00:40:17
Speaker
It's on my list. I am actually so excited to create it. Does it ever, like everybody needs one of those. That is genius. I know. It's a badass list. Like literally start from when you were a child. Yeah, go from the beginning of your life and add everything on there and it should be a continuous list too. Yeah, keep adding all those badass things that you do. And exactly like you said, when you are feeling like an imposter, that is such an easy tool.
00:40:45
Speaker
to pull from inspiration from your past self. Definitely. It's actually just like our letting, allowing our highest selves to serve us, right? Oh, you know what? Well, that brings up another point because I don't know where you're at in our book, but the chapter that I read yesterday was future self-work.
Future Self Work and Vision Clarity
00:41:06
Speaker
I haven't gotten there yet. You have to be getting close to it. It's so good.
00:41:14
Speaker
And maybe that is another thing. Well, she basically, so we're both reading. When you're ready, this is how you feel. Yeah. By Brianna West.
00:41:26
Speaker
She's incredible, you guys all of her books, I bought it in a bundle and really can't get enough of it. But the section that I just finished yesterday was talking about doing future self work where you you know, you get really quiet, maybe get into kind of a meditative state as you start to picture yourself even just a year
00:41:46
Speaker
two years, three, like I'm not talking 10 years down the road, but just picture yourself a couple, three years down the road and have a conversation with your future self and see what they have to tell you.
00:42:02
Speaker
You are basically just working with that higher part of yourself that exists in and outside of us and getting some really good information and getting some really good advice. It's kind of also creating your little blueprint for where you want to be. It is creating a vision for yourself, but you're talking to yourself.
00:42:25
Speaker
down the road and seeing what they have to say to you and what kind of advice they would give to you. So you literally project yourself into that place and have a conversation with your future self. And I think that that is really valuable. And it's interesting that I read that because when I was doing my new year's planning and kind of my year in review, that is actually something that I had wanted to do is write a letter to myself in the future.
00:42:56
Speaker
if that makes sense, that I would read next year. Yeah. Okay. That you would read next year. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Have you done it yet? No, because my life has basically just spiraled a little bit. Yeah. That's okay. I can do that too. Then when I read that yesterday, I was like, yes, that's absolutely what I want to do. Yeah.
00:43:22
Speaker
Absolutely. And it's funny when we do get in, like you said, that sort of meditative state and we can connect with our, our future self or our past self. It's amazing how quickly that information comes through. Absolutely. And it's like talking about it and saying it out loud sounds weird and you're just like, okay, you know, what am I going to tell myself?
00:43:45
Speaker
When you do it, though, I really encourage you guys listening to try it and to really just try to, you know, get into meditative state. You can Google what that means if you need to, if you are not familiar with that. And that information downloads really quickly, always shockingly for me.
00:44:02
Speaker
I could not agree more. It always happens to me during cardio. I've told you that before. It actually does happen really quickly. You can tap into that really, really easily. There's always some really good information. I almost trust my higher self more than anything
00:44:24
Speaker
anything else, like any other downloads. I have a lot of clear cognizance, but I trust that from when I know that it's coming from that part of me more than anything else, because I think that we just have a stronger connection to that maybe, I don't know. But yeah, I thought that was brilliant. So I think that's another thing that we could do that will help with imposterous syndrome is just try to tap into that person who is a year down the road, and what advice would she be giving you right now? He or she be giving you right now.
00:44:53
Speaker
Absolutely. And it does tie into our vision too. And I know we talk a lot about vision on here and we should, and we're not going to stop talking about it because it is so important. Getting crystal clear on our vision of where we want to be, who we want to become, that all the things that we so deeply desire, having that vision so crystal clear,
00:45:16
Speaker
can help dissolve imposter syndrome as well. Because if you can feel yourself in that vision, if you can see yourself doing the thing that you want to do or being the person you want to be, then it just like, okay, it lets all of those negative feelings that we're experiencing when we're in imposter syndrome kind of just float away because it really makes it so small when we can see that bigger, grander picture.
00:45:41
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, it's really interesting. This isn't necessarily about imposter syndrome, but I feel really like called to share this right now. Um, you know, those of you who are not aware of what I'm going through in my life right now, it's a little bit like, um,
00:45:59
Speaker
I can't even comprehend it myself, to be honest. I'm really numb and feel a little bit emotionally and mentally drained because of the gravity of what I'm experiencing in my life currently.
00:46:15
Speaker
But you know, it has been so interesting is that because I have this vision, I can see on the other side of it. And it doesn't mean that I am not going through a lot because I am and every day is different and every day is difficult in its own ways. But I can very
00:46:34
Speaker
clearly see the other side of this because my vision was so clear before any of this ever even started happening. So my testimony, I guess I would say of having a vision for yourself and really tuning into yourself and getting in alignment with what you know that you have been called to do.
00:46:56
Speaker
is really one of the most important things that you could ever do for so many different reasons it helps you break down every single day into the disciplines and habits that need to be happening for you to get there but i also really does serve as a really nice like blueprint for when you.
00:47:14
Speaker
are going through really hard times, if you can still just keep your vision, then it's still going to help you get through everything that you're going through currently and help you to really see on the other side of that. It doesn't take away from the difficulty of anything that you're going through. It might not even take away a lot of the difficulty of your imposter syndrome, but it really does help you maintain
00:47:39
Speaker
those daily structure, those daily disciplines that just need to continue happening in your life. So vision, you know, that's why when we are in our mastermind group, that's a huge part of that discovery process is like, we've really got to nail down what that looks like, because I don't know how to move forward in life if you don't have some sort of a vision. And it doesn't have to be 10, 20 years, it can be.
00:48:08
Speaker
I really like to look just even a few years down the road, maybe six months, one year, a couple of years, and just really hold that vision. It's so important, you guys. That's why we talk about it over and over and we're never going to stop beating that dead horse because I don't think that there's anything more important than being able to see where you're going.
00:48:33
Speaker
No, you have to, you have to be able to see where you're going to get to where you want to be. I really liken it too. So I was on the hike one day and I was thinking about this. I was like, it literally is like going to a restaurant and the waiter comes to the table and they're trying to get your order and you're like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm hungry. Bring me food. And they're like, okay. So they bring you your appetizer.
00:49:02
Speaker
And it's like your least favorite food. And you're like, why would you bring me my least favorite food? And the waiter is like, bro, you didn't tell me what you wanted. And so I'm just guessing. Like, so here you go. And you're like, no, I hate that.
00:49:17
Speaker
And then they bring you the main course and it's something that you love and you're so excited about it. And you're like, yes, you did such a great job choosing. And they're like, dude, I'm just bringing you whatever. I have no idea. And so by the end of the meal, you've had a little bit of both. You're like, how did this show up here? And then how did something that I love show up here? Well, listen, the universe
00:49:42
Speaker
It cannot bring you anything if you're not clear on what it is that you want, right? You really have to have some vision for yourself so that you can place that order in the restaurant and get what it is that you actually want and need, duh. It's the same freaking thing. The universe wants to serve. The universe is our waiter. Absolutely. They're eager. The universe is eager to serve us, and we absolutely create
00:50:13
Speaker
We create everything that has ever come into our lives. That's been self-creation or co-creation or whatever you want to call it. And how we experience it. Yeah. And if we're not saying exactly what we want or if we're saying the opposite of what we want out of fear or judgment or whatever it may be, then yes, we're going to receive that as well. You guys vision is so important and it's so important to create a vision of
00:50:42
Speaker
the things that you want and desire and dream about and not get stuck on the things that we don't want. That tends to happen too because we do that out of fear. We get so fearful of not having
00:50:58
Speaker
not ending up with the things that we absolutely don't want and then, lo and behold, something like that will come into our lives anyways because we're attracting it. Yeah, it's so true. So true. Is there anything else that we want to share about imposter syndrome before we wrap things up? Let me peek at my notes real quick.
00:51:23
Speaker
I'll just leave my thoughts with imposter syndrome can limit or elevate you. It depends on your perspective and commitment to your own personal growth and really ask yourself, how bad do you want it? Yeah. So true. Do you want it? Yes. Am I going to let imposter syndrome stand in my way? Yeah. So good. What a great episode.
Looking Ahead and Listener Engagement
00:51:48
Speaker
I love this episode. See that was equal. Yeah, that was equal. That was equal. We posted on where we're at in our own imposter syndrome because I feel like it's very important for us to continue to stay transparent with you guys.
00:52:06
Speaker
that you can always remember that we're in this with you and we're not above it and we're not immune to it. And yeah, so we'll just continue to keep you posted. Absolutely. You guys as well.
00:52:23
Speaker
Seriously, DM us. Please DM us. Please reach out. Yeah. Let us know what you think, of course, and then anything else that you want us to discuss on the podcast. We do have some episodes coming up. We're going to be talking about price changes.
00:52:40
Speaker
you know, like price increases in the business, we are going to still share our own personal stories of our careers. And we also want to do a segment, maybe like monthly, something like that where we have Esthetician success stories so that we can
00:53:00
Speaker
You know, our goal is always to bring other people into this podcast as well. And we want to be doing that like maybe about once a month or something like that. And so maybe there is an esthetician that you want to nominate that you would like us to interview or something like that. We're very excited about that. And we are going to start reaching out to people here within the next week to kind of get stuff like that set up.
00:53:26
Speaker
let us know if there's someone that you're like I really want you guys to have a conversation with this person and then we can reach out and we can set something up and but anything else any feedback that you guys have any questions any other topics that you want us to discuss we are so thrilled to do that for you so you can dms
00:53:43
Speaker
You can find me on Instagram at the underscore SD underscore coach. And SD is just within E. We do have an email address. It is beyond aesthetics podcast at gmail.com. All of this information is actually in the show notes as well. And I will let Tiffany tell you her Instagram handles and her website. Again, I'm Tiffany, or you can find me on Instagram at Sweet Cheeks University or at Sweet Cheeks waxing skincare.
00:54:11
Speaker
And you can visit my website at www.sweetcheeksuniversity.com. And I'd love for you to reach out. We both would.
00:54:21
Speaker
Absolutely. Thank you guys so much for joining us again on another episode of the Beyond Aesthetics podcast. We look forward to seeing you and having another great conversation in our next episode. Our sign off, again, maybe in our next episode, I need to re-explain our sign off, but I'm not going to right now because I'm in a time crunch. I've got lots of meetings I have to travel today. Have pretty dreams and we look forward to seeing you guys in the next episode. Bye guys.