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Episode 3: 2023 Vision & Goals- Ideas and Practices when you lose momentum
64 Plays2 years ago
My name is Lisette Ostrander, and this is the My Kind of Pleasure Podcast, where we will explore topics of sex, pleasure, desire, mindset, and emotions and use the information learned to live the life we want and have the sex we want.
Happy February! t is February 2nd. Today’s episode fits under the mindset category. Working on our mindset is so key to having the life and sex we want.
I want to check in to see how your 2023 is going and any vision or goals you have set and how that is coming along. I also wanted to share with you some ideas and practices that are helping me move forward and not get discouraged even when I feel I have lost some momentum.
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Photo Credit: Audra Miller https://millerstudios.net/
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hi friends, my name is Lisette Ostrander and this is my Kind of Pleasure podcast where we will explore topics of sex, pleasure, desire, mindset, and emotions and use the information learned to live the life we want and have the sex we want.
Mindset and 2023 Goals
00:00:20
Speaker
Happy February. It is February 2nd and today's episode fits under the mindset category. Working on our mindset is key to having the life we want and the sex we want.
00:00:34
Speaker
I want to check in and see how your 2023 is going and any visions or goals you have and how that's coming along. I also wanted to share with you some ideas and practices that are helping me move forward and not get discouraged even when I feel like I've lost some momentum. To start, I wanted to say we all have the power to start again and start new at any time of the year, not just New Year's.
00:01:03
Speaker
for anyone that needed to hear that, anyone that might be feeling down or discouraged because you haven't made steps towards a dream or a goal, or maybe you feel like you've made steps but they're small, or you started out really strong in the new year but then you stopped. I wanted to let you know that we all have the power to start again and start new at any time, not just new years. And that those seemingly small, insignificant steps
00:01:33
Speaker
do make a difference, even if that difference isn't felt just yet.
Personal Pleasure Goals and Podcast Mission
00:01:39
Speaker
2023 is a big year for me. I've declared it to be so, to bring more aliveness and pleasure into my life. And a big part of that is starting this podcast, starting my kind of pleasure community, among other things, which I will share with you as we get to know each other better.
00:02:00
Speaker
Today I wanted to share with you a couple of ideas and practices that are helping me on this journey.
Building Self-Trust Through Promises
00:02:09
Speaker
The first one is the relationship with myself and the importance of keeping promises to myself. A perfect example is this podcast. I have a number of reasons of why I've started this podcast.
00:02:23
Speaker
And a big one is to get into the practice of being comfortable with being uncomfortable. I know that if I consistently show up each week and I figure it out as I go and I'm okay with it not always being great, but doing it anyway, that I will build trust with myself. And that is so key to building confidence.
00:02:50
Speaker
In reality, who cares if I miss an episode, especially in the beginning with a couple of listeners or no listeners, no one would know and it would be okay. So often we rationalize that it is okay. It doesn't matter if we break that promise to ourselves. But I do believe that when we do that, we don't even realize that we are chipping away at our trust in ourselves.
00:03:16
Speaker
It's like a friend that they don't always show up or they always cancel. And we might not be mad at them, especially if they give us a heads up, but it changes the relationship and our expectations of them and how we feel about them. And we lose a little bit of trust and confidence in what they do and say. And so the same thing happens when we don't keep promises to ourselves.
00:03:45
Speaker
But the crazy thing is we do it so often that we don't even think about it anymore.
Acting Without Perfection
00:03:51
Speaker
And we don't think about how it erodes our trust in ourself and our self confidence. I for sure was of the belief that you wait till you get it right and wait till it's done really well before going forward with something. But that's just a really kind of awesome and cleverly disguised excuse not to do anything.
00:04:16
Speaker
So what is something you've been wanting to do or work on that you keep hesitating or you show up one week and not the other?
00:04:25
Speaker
And I say this not for you to feel bad, but to know that it's okay and it's okay to start new at any time. It took me a year and a half to get this podcast going. And as I said in the introduction episode, it finally hit me that the regret of not doing this would be much more than the pain of doing this badly.
Envisioning and Embodying Future Self
00:04:47
Speaker
I encourage you all to join me each week
00:04:51
Speaker
as not only to listen to the content that I'm sharing, but also to get inspired to move forward in the goal that you've been wanting to pursue. Another practice that I've been doing to keep myself motivated even when I face challenges or lose momentum is to get a clear vision of my future self.
00:05:18
Speaker
For me, I chose to think of myself a year from now. For you, you can do a year, two years, five years. For me, it's a year from now, 52 episodes from now, picturing what I've learned, who I've met, who I've become along the way.
00:05:34
Speaker
And I picture myself a year from now, not just in relation to this podcast, but in relation to other goals and visions of bringing more pleasure and aliveness into my life and what that tangibly means.
00:05:49
Speaker
So I not only picture myself but I wrote it down. So I wrote down where I would be in here, what I would be thinking, what I would be feeling, what I'd be doing, what would I not be doing, what results I have created in my life. I wrote it down.
00:06:08
Speaker
And then to really embody it, I first made a vision board of myself a year from now and I printed it up and I put it in color and I put it in a place where I could see it every day. I also take the last 5 to 10 minutes of my morning meditation to just imagine myself a year from now
00:06:29
Speaker
and to feel it and really feel it. The results that I created and what I would be thinking and then feeling those feelings. This is for sure a practice that takes time to build
00:06:48
Speaker
this habit of meditation and then to start to feel these feelings on purpose and to sit in it for five minutes or so. I started doing this in 2020 when we were in deep pandemic. I started doing this practice of visioning my future self and then feeling the feelings that I wanted to have on purpose.
00:07:11
Speaker
I encourage you to try this out. I think it took me about four months before I got the hang of it and started noticing how it made me feel better even when I had bad days. And I fully believe it slowly started to change my baseline of how I think and feel. I now combine this meditation practice and the feeling, the feelings of my future self with this end of 2023 vision I created for myself.
00:07:42
Speaker
Again, I encourage you to try this even if you don't meditate, even if you just do the practice of taking five minutes to really, to vision your future self and to feel those feelings on purpose. And again, giving yourself time, giving yourself four months of that daily practice to really see the results of that.
00:08:05
Speaker
When I created the introduction episode for this podcast, I first wrote out a script of what I wanted to say and I wrote it as my current self.
Evaluating Challenges and Growth
00:08:17
Speaker
It had a lot of underlying apologies and it had that tone that I'm a beginner, so cut me some slack. I then decided to rewrite it from this future self. What would this version of me think and feel and say, and I have to admit, I think it's a pretty solid intro and that was because I did it from that perspective.
00:08:41
Speaker
I also recently learned through some coaching work the practice of evaluating challenges and setbacks from this lens of your future self instead of where you are right now. So, if that person
00:08:58
Speaker
doesn't text you back or that job you didn't get or that negative interaction you had with someone. If you think about it and interpret the meaning of it from your future self, it has a totally different meaning than evaluating it from where you are right now.
00:09:16
Speaker
For example, I had this negative interaction, challenging interaction with a colleague. And instead of looking at it from my current perspective and current self, I thought about it from my future self perspective, myself a year from now where I'm a leader in the field. I've developed a successful, my kind of pleasure community and podcast. I've become a better manager and leader with influence and I've had
00:09:46
Speaker
all these amazing pleasure and experiences that brought me aliveness along the way. I then see this challenging interaction as something that I needed to learn to make me better instead of looking at it at the present where I feel like it's my reality and it just feels so much greater than it is.
00:10:09
Speaker
looking at it in the present, it just feels like this annoyance instead of looking at it from your future self as this stepping stone or something perhaps that's insignificant and you won't even remember.
Becoming Your Goal-Achieving Self
00:10:25
Speaker
I think looking at failure and mistakes from this perspective is also important. What do we make our mistakes and setbacks mean?
00:10:37
Speaker
If we interpret it from our future self, from the perspective that we have accomplished what we want to have accomplished, it changes the meaning and impact of the failure or mistakes. So to be clear, this isn't to live in denial or to not face reality, but it's a way of reframing and also really stepping into and embodying our future selves.
00:11:03
Speaker
Also, to be clear, I may not get or I may not be where I want to be a year from now, and that is okay. But if we can see it and we can be it now, we can become it.
00:11:18
Speaker
And perhaps we can become that person even without this visioning of our future selves, but I believe that it will happen with a lot more struggle and heartache and resistance along the way. If we want to create new things, we have to become that person first, that person that creates the new things.
Invitation to Connect and Join Community
00:11:42
Speaker
be that person before we accomplish or do what we want, instead of waiting for the accomplishment to make us that person. Again, it doesn't mean we will get exactly what we want, but it certainly makes the journey way more fun. And also, it just feels so much better. So friends, I will leave you with that. Again, remember you can start new or start again at any time.
00:12:12
Speaker
I welcome you to join me on this journey this year and see where it takes us as we support each other in bringing more pleasure and aliveness into our lives to have the lives we want and the sex we want. Until next week, send me a message on Instagram. If you have any questions or comments, I will link that below. I'm also working on my kind of pleasure community and if you have
00:12:42
Speaker
If you've signed up or you want to sign up, I'll put the link below and I will be in touch soon. Until next week.