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Episode 5: Updates & My Ah-ha- Using our goals against ourselves
45 Plays2 years ago
My big ah ah for this week is that despite all of these amazing benefits and learnings mentioned, I was starting to do what I think many of us do..using my goals against myself.
I have these ambitious goals and also trying to create a space for me to feel more alive and experience more pleasure AND this week all I could focus on was that I am behind on these goals and not feeling alive and experiencing pleasure
After doing some self-coaching and receiving coaching I realized I was using my goals against myself. I was feeling bad about myself for not being on track with my goals which of course, is the opposite of being in the present and feeling alive.
Learn More about My Kind of Pleasure Community: https://linktr.ee/lisette.ostrander
Photo Credit: Audra Miller https://millerstudios.net/
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Focus
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi friends, this is Lisette Ostrander and this is my kind of pleasure podcast where we will explore topics of sex, pleasure, desire, mindset, and emotions and use the information learned to live the life we want and have the sex we want. My hope is that what you learn will expand and challenge the way that you think about sex, your body, desire, and menopause so that you can bring more pleasure and aliveness into your life.
00:00:31
Speaker
Today's episode falls under the mindset category.
Mindset and Recent Realizations
00:00:34
Speaker
I will share some updates and a big aha I have this week as I am working towards my goals.
Podcast as a Growth Project
00:00:40
Speaker
In the introduction episode, I talk about how this podcast is a year-long project to bring more pleasure and aliveness into my life. It's a challenge that I set to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, build my knowledge and practice in the sex, desire, pleasure, mindset, and emotion space.
00:00:59
Speaker
and take the tools that I am sharing and apply it to my personal and professional life.
Ambitious Plans for 2023
00:01:05
Speaker
I have an ambitious plan for 2023. There is this podcast, 52 episodes this year, which is the backbone of many other things. I want to build my business and launch my kind of pleasure community, complete a coaching certification program, continue to reach my goals in my day job,
00:01:27
Speaker
and also be more intentional with building and nurturing relationships, both romantic and non-romantic.
Time Management and Consistency
00:01:35
Speaker
In terms of this podcast, I'm still figuring it out and learning how to manage my time better and batch content and create better quality content, among other things. And with all that, I'm still showing up each week, even before those new learnings and changes are in place.
00:01:56
Speaker
I think this is the best thing I could have decided to do. It is forcing me to show up and keep going even when I'm not ready. I also love this idea of being more intentional about bringing more pleasure and aliveness into my life each week as I'm putting together the content about sex, desire, and pleasure, and also combining that with tools that I've learned from coaching certification.
00:02:20
Speaker
I'm also being more thoughtful about how I can incorporate that into my personal life in an authentic way and not just a checklist or seeking false pleasure kind of way.
Reflections on Ambition and Presence
00:02:35
Speaker
So my big aha for this week is despite all these amazing benefits and learnings that I just mentioned, I was starting to do what I think many of us do. I was starting to use my goals against myself.
00:02:50
Speaker
I have these ambitious goals and also trying to create a space to feel more alive and experience more pleasure. And this week, all I could focus on was how I am behind on all of these goals and I'm not feeling a lie and not experiencing pleasure. After doing some self coaching and receiving coaching, I realized I was using my goals against myself. I was feeling bad.
00:03:15
Speaker
about myself for not being on track with my goals, which of course is the opposite of being in the present and feeling alive. I was reminded this week that the point of our big ambitious goals and our ambitious timelines aren't there just to be to be achieved, but are there to expand who we are and how we show up.
Growth Beyond Goals
00:03:40
Speaker
When we set big goals, it immediately takes us out of our comfort zone. It requires us to think differently and show up differently and get creative. This is a mindset shift, but the point of big ambitious goals is not just the achieving of the goal, but who we become along the way.
00:04:04
Speaker
Big goals are goals where we don't have the one right way to get there. And for many of us, we don't even know how we will get there. There's no set path. These are the kind of goals that really shake things up and challenge us to show up differently. We need to get creative when faced with these big goals and try things that we've never tried before.
00:04:31
Speaker
Big, ambitious goals are inevitably reached after trial and error in a series of mistakes and failures. If it was easy to achieve, then it isn't the kind of goal that takes you to the next level.
Embracing the Journey
00:04:47
Speaker
So again, I was reminded not to use my ambitious goals against myself and use them to make me feel bad that I am behind. If I do not hit my goals by the end of 2023,
00:05:00
Speaker
and beyond, that doesn't mean I have failed. This podcast is a great reminder for me to keep myself in check on this journey. It is so easy to stop pursuing the goal or to make the goal easier so we can check it off our to-do list, but that defeats the purpose of an ambitious goal.
Balancing Goals and Pleasure
00:05:23
Speaker
I also now see that setting ambitious personal and professional goals
00:05:29
Speaker
and at the same time, wanting to experience more pleasure and aliveness in my life might seem contradictory, but actually so important to hold both. I welcome you on this journey with me this year as we figure out how to hold both of these things. So, lovely friends, I hope this is a reminder you needed to hear, not to use your goals against yourself,
00:05:56
Speaker
and be down on yourself for not being where you want to be, or like I tend to do, get super focused and get in hustle mode from a place of scarcity and fear to try to get there. It is important that we are aware of when we are using our goals against ourselves and to remind ourselves the purpose of ambitious goals. It is much more than reaching the goal, but who we become along the way.
Excitement for Future Content
00:06:27
Speaker
Thank you friends for tuning in and I am excited about the content that I have coming over the next few months about menopause and sexual wellness and more. I'm also excited about the launch of My Pleasure Community. Click the link below to learn more and get on the wait list. See you next week.