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Episode 17: (Updated) Birthday Reflections!
35 Plays1 year ago
August is my birthday month and one of my favorites for that reason! I wanted to make sure I recorded my first episode back in August. Also, on August 15, I completed a year-long life coaching certification program. I always take August to reset and reflect, and in this episode, I wanted to share some of my reflections from this year and a few things I am looking forward to this year.
Three takeaways:
- How important it is to do something that feels a bit out of reach and go for it anyway.
- Willingness to experience any emotion
- Always have your back!
I am very excited to continue this momentum into my new year and continue to practice and embody each of these takeaways and learnings. I am also going to dive further into the sexuality and intimacy space and join a Sex, Love & Relationship certification program…with a specialty in perimenopause/menopause.
Photo Credit: Audra Miller https://millerstudios.net/
Follow me & connect:
IG: lisette.ostrander
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Relaunch
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey friends, my name is Lisette Ostrander, and this is my kind of pleasure podcast where we will explore topics of sex, pleasure, desire, mindset, and emotions, and use the information learned to live the life we want and have the sex we want.
00:00:18
Speaker
I am coming back after a summer pause and ready to dive on in. I hope you all have been doing well. I also want to send out love and good vibes to you. There have been a lot of people that I know that over the past couple of months have been going through a lot.
00:00:35
Speaker
some big transitions and shifts and loss and grief and just thinking of you all. Whatever season of life you're in, a high or a low season, I send you love and good vibes.
Milestones and Personal Growth
00:00:50
Speaker
August is my birthday month and one of my favorite months for that reason. And I wanted to make sure that I recorded my first episode back in August. So coming in on the last day of August.
00:01:03
Speaker
Also on August 15th, I completed a year long coaching certification program, which was a big deal. I always take August to, I take time to reset and reflect. And in this episode, I wanted to share some of my reflections from this year and things I'm looking forward to for the coming year.
00:01:25
Speaker
last August when I was doing my reset and reflect time, I decided that it was going to be the year that I was going to bring more aliveness and pleasure into my life. And I wasn't exactly sure what that meant for me. Like I do think sex and sexuality is a component of that and not just the act of having sex, but like how we think and feel about our sexuality and our bodies and just
00:01:51
Speaker
tapping into the energy of all of it, I believe is key to aliveness and pleasure. But that aside, I knew that there was more to it for me.
Finding Aliveness and Pleasure
00:02:03
Speaker
And beyond just seeking pleasurable moments or doing exciting things, I was on this journey to find out what are some of the foundational things that allow me to bring more aliveness and pleasure in all parts of my life.
00:02:21
Speaker
And interestingly enough, this coaching program and actually the process to certify, especially the last five weeks leading up to the certification, it made it clear to me on what brings me aliveness and pleasure. And I wanted to share some of the takeaways with you and these concepts and takeaways I'm about to share. I've definitely talked about before in this podcast, and I just think this,
00:02:49
Speaker
putting them into practice kind of during this like such a condensed period of time, especially the five weeks leading up to certification. It really made me realize how powerful these concepts are. So the first one, the first concept and the first kind of takeaway is how important it is to do something that feels
00:03:10
Speaker
a bit out of reach and to go for it anyway. So this whole year I've been doing things that are slightly out of my comfort zone, um, and also like slightly out of my skillset like this podcast. And it definitely did bring me moments of aliveness and satisfaction and something about having this goal to certify and having this like set date to do it, which was set by the school and not by me and also making
00:03:37
Speaker
financial investment and just being held accountable by the school, all of it. And, and actually even doing it, even as I signed up for it, I didn't really envision myself as a coach. It just felt out of reach. So doing that and also then accomplishing the goal and certifying gave me a tremendous sense of satisfaction and pleasure.
00:04:02
Speaker
And I talk about this in past episodes about the importance of setting goals and how it isn't necessarily about reaching the goal, but who you become along the way. And yes, I did reach this one goal, but I think it was that experience of like what I learned and who I became that actually really did give me a lot of pleasure.
00:04:24
Speaker
In my next two takeaways, I, it definitely refers to kind of the who I became and what I took from it along
Emotional Experience and Growth
00:04:31
Speaker
the way. So number two reflection and concept that I learned from this experience was the importance or the, like the willingness to experience any emotion. And when you are willing to experience any emotion, that is so key to bring more aliveness and pleasure into your life.
00:04:52
Speaker
So in relation to the certification program, one thing that I learned throughout it was the concept of self-confidence and how self-confidence isn't what you know or how well you do something, but that a big part of self-confidence is this willingness to experience any emotion. So emotions like failure, rejection, disappointment, embarrassment, fear, discomfort,
00:05:21
Speaker
being willing to do these things that will inevitably bring on these emotions, but knowing that you can experience them and allow them and feel them and that it is okay is really, really powerful. And by the way, side note, that that's a whole skill on its own, right? Like how do you allow these uncomfortable emotions without pushing them aside? Like how do you experience them? And we will definitely talk about that in future episodes.
00:05:51
Speaker
So in June this year, I realized my certification due date was coming in two months, August 16th. And I realized that I had been playing it safe for about 10 months and just studying and not taking action, not practicing, not having coaching clients. And I did that because I was scared. I think I was scared that I wasn't going to be good. I was scared of what someone else would think and
00:06:18
Speaker
I was able to push past that fear and I think it was because of the financial investment and, and also because there was this like really clear deadline. I pushed past the fear and in July I reached out to people and I went from only having coached one person for the entire year to coaching 34 people who practice with me during a three week period in July.
00:06:46
Speaker
So I intentionally put myself in the situation that was highly uncomfortable, brought up a lot of insecurities, but I did it anyway. And after the 20th practice person is still, so wasn't good, but I realized I was no longer scared. And again, it like brought, like when I got to that point, it brought this like feeling of aliveness. When I realized that the fear had passed and also that I had allowed it to be there and it was okay.
00:07:16
Speaker
So the last concept and the last takeaway that I want to share with you all is the importance of having your own back. And I've definitely talked about this in prior episodes. So this idea of having your own back and not beating yourself up no matter what happens, no matter what emotion you're experiencing.
Overcoming Challenges and Self-Support
00:07:35
Speaker
And this is the second component of self-confidence, right? After this willingness to experience any emotion, it's this,
00:07:45
Speaker
this ability to have your own back. And I fully embrace this, especially the last five weeks leading up to the certification. I did not know if I'd be able to certify by the due date, but I promised myself that regardless of passing or not or certifying or like certifying at a time, regardless of any of that, I wasn't going to beat myself up or be hard on myself.
00:08:13
Speaker
So even as I continue to not be able to reach the milestones to pass, and I had just seven days left to certify, I did not speak badly to myself. I did not think badly of myself. So again, I definitely have mentioned these concepts before in the podcast, but I think having experienced like doing this in such a condensed
00:08:41
Speaker
period of time was really powerful. I also, if I'm able to articulate this, I made the decision as the deadline was coming closer, I made the decision that I was just going to believe in these concepts, even though I hadn't really experienced the power of them. So I was just going to believe that
00:09:05
Speaker
okay, I'm going to allow my emotions even if they're negative and that's okay. I'm going to have my back. It's going to be okay. I'm not going to talk bad about myself or to myself. And it's just really powerful that like when I came out on the other side, that having gone through that experience, believing in those things and actually implementing those things did give me a tremendous sense of aliveness and pleasure.
Future Plans and Community Engagement
00:09:34
Speaker
So now the challenge or the opportunity is for me to continue this and bring this to other areas of my life, to relationships, intimacy, building my business, and also now diving into this whole art of coaching, right? I kind of got like the basics and the science of it, but now really diving in and like developing the art of coaching. So one thing that I'm looking forward to this coming year is that I'm also, I'm applying to be part of this cohort for
00:10:04
Speaker
a sex and intimacy coaching program. And really excited to combine that knowledge and practice with what I've currently been learning and doing. And it's a program that has a specialty in perimenopause and menopause in that transition time. So as I learn more, I will share more with all of you. And again, I look forward to combining this mindset and emotions plus sexuality and intimacy space and
00:10:34
Speaker
Harry menopause and menopause and combining all of that, sharing it with you all and, you know, help just contribute to the conversation to lift the shame about exploring and diving into these areas. So stay tuned. And I also have a few opportunities coming up where you can join me for the special events that I'm putting together for in October for menopause awareness month and also officially opening my kind of pleasure community
00:11:04
Speaker
in October. And I look forward to what the year lies ahead for me, for all of you, and I will be in touch next week. Bye.