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Episode 20: Having a relationship with my future self ( to set and achieve goals!)
55 Plays1 year ago
Happy New Year. This is episode 20, about having a relationship with your future self to set and work towards goals.
⭐️ In this episode, I talk about how I am building an ongoing relationship with my future self to set and achieve my goals. I give you a look into how I am creating an ongoing conversation with my future self so I can do more than envision my future self but BE my future self on my way to achieving my goals.
⭐️ As I step into my future self and BE that version, in January and February 2024, I am going to coach as much as possible. I am offering free 30-minute coaching sessions in January and February. Use the link below to book a session. In this session, we can explore whatever is on your mind and/or do a before/after goal-setting process. It is a great tool for you to have to start your year off and build a relationship with your future self!
⭐️ Schedule a free 30-min coaching call with me: https://calendly.com/mykindofpleasure/free-coaching-sessions
Follow me on IG: lisette.ostrander
Photo Credit: Audra Miller https://millerstudios.net/
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
This is Lisette Ostrander, and this is my kind of pleasure podcast, where we will explore topics of sex, pleasure, desire, mindset, and emotions, and use the information learned to live the life we want and have the sex we want. My hope is that what you learn will expand and challenge the way that you think about sex, your body, desire, and menopause so that you can bring more pleasure and aliveness into your life.
00:00:32
Speaker
Happy New Year. It's been a moment since I have recorded and I am excited to reconnect with all of you.
Relationship with Future Self
00:00:41
Speaker
This is episode 20 and it is about having a relationship with your future self to set and work towards goals. I love this concept. I've talked about it before, this idea of
00:00:53
Speaker
holding this vision of your future self and not just holding the vision, but being your future self now in the present moment as you're working towards your goals. I've definitely seen the power in doing this. The way that it looked like for me in 2023,
00:01:12
Speaker
I wrote down my goal that I wanted to accomplish. I wrote it down as if I accomplished it. And then I wrote down what thoughts I would have.
00:01:25
Speaker
and what feelings I would have and what actions would I be taking? What actions wouldn't I be taking as this person who has accomplished this goal?
Vision Boards and Meditation in 2023
00:01:37
Speaker
So I did that in 2023 and I also, I'm a big fan of meditation and even if it's just for a few moments at the end of the meditation, I would sit down and take a moment and think of myself as the future
00:01:52
Speaker
version of myself having accomplished this goal and think about what that would feel like and take a moment and sit and cultivate those feelings and I also love to create a vision board or I recently heard it called an action board so I had that and I did all of that in 2023 and again I could really see the power in this and I could see how my
00:02:15
Speaker
mindset was changing and even my baseline of my emotions. I didn't feel as much doubt as I had in the past. It definitely built up my belief and I also saw that I wasn't quite being my future self. I think it's so easy to fall short of that and get caught up in life and go back on autopilot and think the thoughts and feel the feelings and do the actions that are habitual and
00:02:44
Speaker
I also had the tendency instead of visioning, I would be more worried about my future or just see how separate I was or how far away I was from my goal. So this year I've been doing a ton of learning. I completed
00:03:01
Speaker
a life coaching certification program and in a week about to start the sex, love and intimacy program and had some amazing travels and really cool experiences with people.
Mentorship from Future Self
00:03:15
Speaker
And it just clicked for me about a month ago that, okay, if I'm going to be the future version of myself or live into that vision of the future,
00:03:27
Speaker
version of myself that I need to do more than just vision it and treat it as separate. I needed to have an ongoing relationship with my future self. So it's not the separate thing, but it's me and I'm working together with my future self to help build up my current capacity
00:03:51
Speaker
to meet my future self. I want to use my future self as this mentor, this guide to help me daily and have a conversation with my future self. So what this looks like for me, I did that whole process that I explained before about writing my future goal and then the thoughts.
00:04:11
Speaker
feelings, actions, inactions in relation to that goal. And I also created a new 2024 vision board, action board. And then what I decided to do was get a journal and then have this journal dedicated to this mentor relationship that I'm having with my future self.
Journaling and Self-Assessment
00:04:30
Speaker
So on the front page, I wrote a letter, the future version of myself. So Lisette in January, 2025, writing a letter to Lisette in January, 2024. And I wrote down a lot of detail of where I am, what's happening, what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. And I talk about the journey this past year and what happened. And I talk about how there has been a lot of mistakes
00:04:59
Speaker
and rejection and failures and also everything that I've learned and everything that happened on my way to
00:05:09
Speaker
the future version, January 2025 version of me, that version of me that accomplished this goal. I wrote that out and I also answered these two questions. I've been reading this book from Catherine Woodward Thomas. She wrote the book, Calling in the One. She has these two questions. What do you need to let go of?
00:05:32
Speaker
and what do you need to develop? So she asked those questions in relation to calling in the one, but you can use those questions for any goal. So again, the questions, what do you need to let go of? And what do you need to develop?
00:05:50
Speaker
Love those questions. I especially love the first one, what do you need to let go of? In my journal, I took some time thinking about that future. We said January 2025, who accomplished XYZ, what do I need to let go of? And I wrote things that I wrote down were defensiveness,
00:06:13
Speaker
people pleasing, not having healthy boundaries. And I wrote a bunch of other things about what I need to let go. And then I wrote down, what do I need to develop? So it's just been a week that I started this.
Daily Intentions and Reflection
00:06:23
Speaker
What I've been doing is every morning, waking up and writing down my intention for that day,
00:06:33
Speaker
as my future self being that person, this is my intention for the day. And then at the end of the day, I just do a quick check in of what worked well, what didn't work well, what would I do differently? This is my first week doing it. And this week I have been in a couple situations where I noticed myself playing small.
00:06:56
Speaker
And I caught myself as I was doing it. I didn't change in the moment, but I noticed what I was doing and I wrote it down and thought, okay, I'm going to journal about this tonight. I also had another situation where I realized I was people pleasing.
00:07:12
Speaker
Again, I didn't change anything in the moment, but I wrote it down in the journal that night. This is what I did, future self. So I'm talking to my future self. And this is what I would do differently. What I love about this is when I had those realizations of people pleasing or playing small, I didn't shame myself or get upset that I was doing it. It was just, I was much more curious, like, ah, there I go.
00:07:38
Speaker
doing that, it's more front of mind because I wrote out that list, what do you need to let go of? So I realized up doing that again. And I wasn't hard on myself. So I think that's super key in doing this and making this a productive exercise. And I also think having this journal and this conversation with your future and present self and using it as a way to coach and mentor you, it's like you become the observer of the situation.
00:08:06
Speaker
I think it's really powerful when you can then notice and then not judge yourself. And I think that's when change happens. And there's almost this way, I feel like with this journal, I feel like it's almost gamifying this process of my living into the future version of myself.
00:08:25
Speaker
It's as if I had a bit of excitement, having the awareness and identifying something that I was doing that I had written down as something I wanted to let go. It felt like a win. Like, ah, I noticed it. Yes, I can work on that.
00:08:43
Speaker
I will definitely continue this practice, and I'm sure I'm going to modify it a bit so I can let you know what's working for me. And I'd love to hear if you have ideas or what works for you. And just, again, to keep in mind that, remember, this is an ongoing journey. And I think it's important that we don't think about our future self as this separate idealized version of ourselves. Thinking, again, of the questions from Catherine Woodward Thomas,
00:09:13
Speaker
You know, it's you, but it's you with what do you need to let go of and what do you need to develop.
Becoming Your Future Self
00:09:21
Speaker
That's how I like to think about it. So definitely keep you all up to date with my progress. And I also just want to leave you with, it's not about reaching the goal. Yes, that would be awesome. But this process of living into your future self, being your future self now, it's
00:09:41
Speaker
It's really about who you become, not if you reach that goal. It was great being here with you today. If any of this resonated with you, please reach out. And also in a week, I am starting a sex, love and intimacy coaching certification program.
Upcoming Coaching Program
00:09:58
Speaker
And it's all about tools and practices to up level, enhance, awaken sex, love, and intimacy. The first four months are a deep dive intensive on ourselves, on myself. And then the next six months, it's about learning tools and practices to work with clients.
00:10:19
Speaker
I am excited to share with you updates on that. I also love how the certification program connects to this idea of having a relationship with my future self. The program is very asset-based and it focuses on our desires and where we want to go as a tool for transformation instead of looking at what's wrong and what we don't like.
00:10:41
Speaker
And lastly, as I dive into this new year and focus on my goals and living into and being my future self, I am opening up a bunch of time slots in January and February to do a lot of coaching to get as much practice as possible and as many hours as possible.
00:10:59
Speaker
So if you're interested, check the show notes, and there is a link to sign up for 30-minute session. I mentioned in the beginning of the episode about that practice of writing down your goal and
00:11:14
Speaker
looking at the future version of yourself and what you're thinking and feeling and actions you take and actions you aren't taking. This is a great practice. There's actually more to the practice than that. And it's an awesome foundational tool and document for you to have as you continue your year.
00:11:33
Speaker
And this is something that we can do in our coaching session together. Reach out if you have any questions. My contact information is below.
Future Episodes and Topics
00:11:42
Speaker
With the podcast, I'm going to have some guests and I'm going to set a goal of doing two episodes per month. The topics will be about sex, desire, pleasure, mindset, emotions, and the perimenopause journey and
00:12:02
Speaker
really just this idea of transitions and how do we get rid of all the limiting beliefs we have around that and how do we have the best sex and the best life that we can have. Excited to continue this journey with you and I will see you again soon.