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Welcome to Episode 6: A sneak peek into what inspired me to create My Kind of Pleasure Community to Reframe, sex desire, pleasure, and the menopause journey.
53 Plays2 years ago
In this episode, I share a story about my ah-ha moment and what inspired me to create My Kind of Pleasure Community to change the way we think and feel about the menopause journey, sex, desire, pleasure and our bodies.
Phot Credit: Audra Miller, Miller Studios
Links I mention in the episode:
My Kind of Pleasure Community- Information & Join the Waitlist: https://polished-scene-963.myflodesk.com/
Connect with me and learn more: https://www.instagram.com/lisette.ostrander/
Kim Anami Myths of Menopause: https://kimanami.com/the-myths-of-menopause/
Miller Studios Photography: http://millerstudios.net/
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Transcript
Introduction to Sex, Pleasure, and Empowerment
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi friends, this is Lisette Ostrander and this is my kind of pleasure podcast where we will explore topics of sex, pleasure, desire, mindset, and emotions and use the information learned to live the life we want and have the sex we want. My hope is that what you learn will expand and challenge the way that you think about sex
00:00:25
Speaker
your body, desire, and menopause so that you can bring more pleasure and aliveness into your life. Welcome to episode six, a sneak peek into what inspired me to create my kind of pleasure community to reframe sex, desire, pleasure, and the menopause journey.
Lisette's Journey in Content Creation
00:00:46
Speaker
For the past couple of months, I've been slowly putting together content for my kind of pleasure community, connecting with guest speakers,
00:00:55
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taking coaching certification course, plus immersing myself in content related to cultivating desire, mindful sex, and the menopause journey.
Understanding Menopause Transition
00:01:07
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My kind of pleasure community will be a space for people on the menopause journey to come together to talk about sex, desire, pleasure, our bodies, and the menopause journey from an empowered lens.
00:01:23
Speaker
If you are new to the menopause conversation, some background, medically speaking, the menopause transition is the time leading up to the final menstrual period. And your final menstrual period marks menopause. And everything after that is post-menopause. It's hard to know when the final one is because there may be some false stops.
00:01:51
Speaker
So menopause is formally confirmed 12 months after the last menstrual period. Menopause transition is a period of time leading up to the final menstrual period, and that is characterized by hormonal fluctuations that can result in irregular periods and other symptoms.
Cultural Perceptions of Menopause
00:02:12
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That transition time can last seven to 14 years. It's different for everyone.
00:02:19
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Some people experience mild symptoms, others moderate, others more severe. The only thing predictable about the menopause transition is that it is unpredictable. The average age of menopause for women in the United States is 51. And that is the average. So that means that there's people that have their final period later, and then there's people that have it earlier.
00:02:45
Speaker
There is also surgery and menopause surgeries like the hysterectomy or ovarian surgery, which have people go into menopause earlier. So this means that the menopause transition can span from mid 30s to mid 50s. It's different for everyone. There's also the term perimenopause, which includes the menopause journey, the years leading up to the final.
00:03:12
Speaker
And as well, perimenopause also includes that year after the final menstrual period when it's confirmed. As I mentioned before, the only thing predictable about the menopause transition is the unpredictability of it. I also think that the one thing that has felt certain in our culture especially is the negative view that we've had about it.
00:03:37
Speaker
We view it in many ways as a disease with many symptoms instead of this viewing as a phase of life. Language is powerful and language matters. And in my research, there are cultures that do not have a term for menopause. In Dutch, the word that they use, the translation of that word actually means passing way or road from A to B.
00:04:04
Speaker
And in Japanese, the word they use, it translates to change of life. There's also some research that suggests that cultures that don't use the word menopause, that people actually suffer less during their menopause transition. So it doesn't mean that by changing the word,
00:04:23
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we will change whether we're experiencing hot flashes or other symptoms.
Building a Supportive Community
00:04:28
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But I do believe that if we start to embrace menopause as a change instead of a dreadful disease, that the experience can be different. Things are changing and people are now talking about it. And I am excited to be part of the conversation and also create a space where we can start to think and feel differently about this time.
00:04:51
Speaker
In my kind of pleasure community and on this podcast, I will share with you information about this journey so that we can start to think and feel differently about it and also have knowledge so that we are empowered to know to do what is best for our bodies. Creating a space to talk about this is also empowering so that we can
00:05:14
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be with others who are experiencing what we're experiencing and also be able to navigate this time. And navigate this time with correct information there's a lot of misinformation about this phase of life and i.
00:05:32
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believe that this misinformation leads to people being exploited by pharmaceuticals or even buying supplements, right? We don't know. There's so much noise in the space. And I am excited to bring in different guest speakers and practitioners and share vetted resources so that we can start making decisions about what is best for us and not do an act from a scarcity or fear mindset.
00:06:01
Speaker
I'm gonna link below the link to a wait list for my kind of pleasure community and also get more information. So you will see that below. I wanna leave you with one personal story of how I started getting interested in all this and came up with this idea to start this community. I had my aha moment about this during deep pandemic.
00:06:26
Speaker
I was 42 and came across a podcast episode from someone, a woman called Kimanami, and the title of the episode was Myths of Menopause, and I will link that below. Kimanami challenges many of the ideas we have around menopause, especially focusing on how we can stay orgasmic and have a high libido during menopause.
00:06:55
Speaker
She talked about herself being 48 years old and being very sexually vibrant, even more so than when she was younger. And she also had a guest on that was 70 plus years old. And the guest talked about how juicy she was still at 70. I was completely fascinated. I had never heard anyone talk about this time of life in this way. And again, I'll link that below.
00:07:22
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So a few months later, I then went to the gynecologist for an annual checkup and told them that I had some light spotting in the middle of the month.
00:07:34
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And the way that the doctor responded was by first asking the assistant in the room to get a pamphlet on menopause to give to me. And I was like, Oh, damn shit. Um, so she gave me this pamphlet and like the cover, it was just a bunch of older people, much older than I am. And doing this like really gentle, easy kind of yoga.
00:08:01
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And I felt like that cover totally sums up the way that we view menopause in our society, like a time that's just reserved for people when they're older and like perhaps not as vibrant. That's what I read into
Empowering Women Through Menopause
00:08:16
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it. And also the pamphlet was full of symptoms and there was no information or messaging about how, for example, how Kim and Ami talked about how sexually vibrant you can be during this time.
00:08:30
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So the whole thing just made me feel a bit hopeless and especially because here we were in deep pandemic, I was single and thinking that the next time I meet someone and that I do have sex, who knows when that will be and I'll probably be past my prime. This is what was going through my head at this moment. And the doctor was really nice and I was able to be open
00:08:55
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with her and tell her that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by this and also I admitted to her that in all honesty I was actually hoping she was telling me that she was going to tell me that there was something wrong with me and like not wrong wrong just a little bit wrong you know instead of mentioning that it is this transition time and I just when I think about that I don't think I'm alone in having that thought that
00:09:24
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And how sad that we'd rather have something possibly wrong than something like be this natural phase of life, stage of life. So as soon as I got in my car, I had a moment to get a hold of myself. And then I remembered the podcast episode. And at that moment, I was like, no, I refuse. My journey doesn't need to look the way that it looks like in this pamphlet.
00:09:52
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And as Kim and Ami talked about, I too wanted to do this differently and be juicy at 70. And this is where the journey began of me wanting to do something different in this space and create a space where we can come together and learn different ways of being.
00:10:13
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Even with this moment of, you know, aha and kind of rebellion saying my journey is going to be different, I realize also how deep it runs the way that we think and feel about this time. I last summer
00:10:29
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I posted a picture of myself next to the title of, I was having hosting a panel about reframing menopause, so I posted a picture of myself with the title and had the word menopause, and it was a bit, I hesitated as I did that.
00:10:48
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But then I knew that's what I needed to do. It's almost like I didn't want people to make that association with me. So I'm glad I did it. And I intentionally put this sexier picture of myself next to that title for the purpose to be like, see, it can look this way. So by the way, shout out to Audra Miller for the amazing photos.
00:11:14
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Audra Miller of Miller Studios. If you are in San Francisco or the Bay area, I recommend you book with her and I will link her below. And I will also put one of her photos next to this podcast again, just so you can see this is how we need to start reframing the menopause transition. So I want to end by saying thank you for listening and that I am learning alongside of you.
00:11:41
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For me, I am doing this to find out information and to learn how I can be a woman who at 70 is sexually vibrant and
00:11:51
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juicy and look and feel my best. And that might not be what you want, but that's the beauty of this by lifting the shame about this time in our lives and having conversations and getting access to correct information. We have a choice on how we want to think about it and feel about this time and also how we want to address symptoms that we may have.
00:12:16
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For those who aren't close to this phase of life or not in the transition, I think it's also super empowering to learn how to be proactive so that you can lessen any potential symptoms you may experience in the future during that time. Thank you friends for listening and I look forward to diving in more about this topic on this podcast and also in my kind of pleasure community. And right now it's set to launch
00:12:46
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end of April. So stay tuned and also click the link below to get it on the waiting list and find out when the doors open. And thank you and I will talk to you soon.