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Episode 15: Updates & Deciding to Have Your Own Back
41 Plays2 years ago
In this episode, I give an update on my impossible goal & also share some ideas about how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and get good at failing. I also talk about having your own back. What if were as easy as deciding to do it and, from today on, not beating yourself up when you make a mistake or fail at something? Check it out and let me know your thoughts! Follow me and send me a message at IG lisette. ostrander
Photo Credit: Audra Miller https://millerstudios.net/
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Transcript
Introduction to Kind of Pleasure Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hi friends, this is Lisa Ostrander and this is my Kind of Pleasure podcast where we will explore topics of sex, pleasure, desire, mindset, and emotions and use the information learned to live the life we want and have the sex we want. Hey friends, how are you? I hope you're doing well. Hope you're having a good start to your summer. It's been a moment since I recorded an episode.
Summer Goals and Podcasting Challenges
00:00:27
Speaker
This is definitely my summer of building and learning.
00:00:31
Speaker
And with that, I might have some delays with creating podcast episodes, but I'm going to keep going and do my best. So it's a reminder to all of you if you're working on something and it isn't turning out exactly as you thought, or you're not doing exactly what you said you would just keep going. You're doing great.
The $150,000 Impossible Goal
00:00:54
Speaker
Last week I spoke about impossible goals and I wanted to just check in with you and let you know some progress that I made on that. So I wrote down my impossible goal and I stated it to all of you and I'm going to state it again.
00:01:10
Speaker
even though it is incredibly uncomfortable to stay at the moment. So my impossible goal is within one year, so by June 2024, that I will have made 150,000 in my own business in creating a pleasure membership and coaching business. And if you go back to the episode, I talk about why it's called impossible and it's supposed to be a stretch. It's not
00:01:40
Speaker
It's supposed to be something that's really at the moment in your grasp and you might not even reach it. That's why you call it an impossible goal, but it's who you become in pursuing the goal.
00:01:56
Speaker
who you at this moment have to be to start making those steps and to start even believing that you can potentially do this. So that is my impossible goal.
Power of Goal Articulation
00:02:09
Speaker
And you know, the first step is to write it down and then it's also just to speak it out loud and saying it out loud gives it power. And as I mentioned, it's uncomfortable. It doesn't feel right. It's like I'm trying it on.
00:02:23
Speaker
But I'm gonna keep saying it and see how I slowly get comfortable with all of that. In the episode 14, I mentioned some steps to start pursuing your impossible goal. So I started taking those steps. I wrote down things I needed to accomplish within the year. I also wrote down different obstacles and also doubts that I had.
00:02:50
Speaker
And then for each of the doubts and obstacles, I created a little plan on how to address it. And a lot of those plans for addressing obstacles, a lot of that was about acquiring new skills and learning new things. So I wrote a plan on how to do that. I then created yearly goals and I started backwards and then I created quarterly goals and then monthly goals and then weekly.
00:03:20
Speaker
And I put it all into an Asana calendar, super tedious. And as I continue on this journey and see what works for me and what doesn't, I would love to support anyone with doing this.
00:03:33
Speaker
Again, I can't help you decide what to do next or what your action steps are or the how, because I don't even actually know the how into getting my impossible goal. All I know is I need to just take massive action. But I can't help you with that, but I can for sure be an accountability partner and also be there to help you with this goal planning process because it is tedious and it is so great to have someone to help you with that.
Courses to Support Ambitious Goals
00:04:03
Speaker
So stay tuned as I learn more and then definitely take me up on that offer. A big part of my goals involve three programs that I'm currently working on this summer. One is I just started it. It's a year long sacred sexuality course. I'm also in this three month
00:04:25
Speaker
building community and membership course. And I'm also on the tail end of a coaching certification program. All of these programs have parts of it that are extremely uncomfortable to me. And it also, they also have parts that I'm loving and
00:04:47
Speaker
What I am learning at the moment is to not only take passive action, which I talked about last week, which is the learning, I'm good at that. But I'm also now, especially this summer, my summer building, I'm learning to take more massive action. And that, and again, I spoke about that last week, but that's actually doing things that will kind of inevitably produce failure.
00:05:13
Speaker
And, you know, the key to success is failing and getting good at that. Yes. And that reminds me a great thing to add to your yearly planning of your impossible goal is to think of 100 fails. So each quarter having 25 fails. And again, as I said, failures are the key to success.
Embracing Failure: Plan for 100 Fails
00:05:43
Speaker
So getting comfortable with experiencing this emotion of failure and getting comfortable with experiencing uncomfortable emotions is where our power lies.
00:05:59
Speaker
This is all new for me, and I will find a way to share this journey with you all and my progress. I will share a bit here, and I'll also find other ways to share my updates. So if you're interested in coming on this journey with me, definitely follow me on my Instagram at Lisette.Ostrander.
00:06:21
Speaker
But just in case you didn't fully get that, so this idea of not only are you planning your action steps and you're writing down your obstacles and making plans to address the obstacles, but intentionally writing down what are going to be your 100 fails this year? So within the quarter, what are going to be your 25 fails?
00:06:44
Speaker
a big ask or doing something that you know you're going to do it badly, but doing it anyway. And as I'm saying this, I did not incorporate this into my yearly plan. So I need to go back and do that. So the last thought I want to leave you with that relates to all this impossible planning, goal planning, and also
00:07:06
Speaker
creating 100 failures and being intentional about going after these failures.
Self-Compassion Through Failure
00:07:11
Speaker
The last thought I want to leave you with is what if you all, myself included, made the decision that no matter what, that we would have our own back. So no matter what you did, no matter how much you failed, no matter what you do or did, that you would have your own back.
00:07:36
Speaker
And what that looks like is not beating yourself up, not going into a spiral of how you did something badly, how you should have done something else, just being okay, having compassion for yourself and not ruminating and just moving forward. And I guess my, the thought I want to leave you with is, is it that simple as deciding you are going to have your own back and no longer beat yourself up?
00:08:07
Speaker
So I'm gonna play with that in my summer of building. So stay tuned and see how it goes. My call to action to all of you is to play with this idea. Play with this idea of A, making impossible goals. Again, go back to episode 14. And even if you don't do that, listing out 100 fails for the year, 25 per quarter. What are you gonna do that you know you're gonna get a no?
00:08:36
Speaker
I also want to add, I once heard that someone said, if you're not hearing no's, you're not asking for enough, which I love that.
Linking Failure to Pleasure Enhancement
00:08:45
Speaker
So my call to action created an impossible goal, write out your hundred fails and actively pursue these fails, and also perhaps making the decision that you are no longer going to beat yourself up, that you are going to have your back.
00:09:01
Speaker
I would love to hear your thoughts on that message me. Again, my Instagram handle is below. And I just want to say, imagine all of these concepts in relation to sex and pleasure, being okay with uncomfortable feelings, making mistakes, going into situations that you know you will fail or not be great at and knowing that
00:09:26
Speaker
these situations and failing and making mistakes is what's gonna make you better and also not beating yourself up and also not putting the blame on anyone else. How amazing would that feel? And again, how amazing would sex be? How much more pleasure could we bring into our lives? So again, I'm gonna leave you with that. Thank you so much. I will chat with you next week. Bye.