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00:00:01
Who is you Chiron?! (On Our Interview Shit)
25 Plays7 months ago
This episode we delve a little bit deeper into who we are (Except Ty, they business is always on front street), and share some of our own stories!
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Transcript
Beyoncé, Copyright, and Creative Critique
00:00:00
Speaker
One. I wonder if they caught that one that I said before the thing started recording. Action. Not action. Get into it. Not action. Time to go. Go time. Green light.
00:00:14
Speaker
If you want to, give it to mama. Oh, copyright infringement. Beyonce don't care about those. That's not even a thing. And Beyonce also has somebody else who's trying to tussle with her about brick metal. So I don't think she's here. She is not worried about us promoting her. I need to take down an empire.
00:00:41
Speaker
I'm also not promoting her because I'm so over her shit and I'm not particularly popular. So I don't even know what the... Didn't really like the album. Yeah, I didn't really listen to it because I don't like the cover of it. But you know, in another episode that we had, I already voiced how I didn't like another album she had. So it was nice of me having two episodes talking about how I don't like two albums.
00:01:09
Speaker
I do feel like maybe a second conversation would be and call up the question because I think that more stuff was unfolded.
Patriotism and Symbolism
00:01:16
Speaker
And also like the silence is deafening again. And so it just feels like the niggas argued over this cowboy Carter, like you said, like the cover art. And I don't fuck with that shit either. I'm gonna fuck with it. He's reclaiming the American flag. How do you reclaim American?
00:01:32
Speaker
When I see a person, also, hey, y'all, welcome to another episode. When I see a person that has an American flag outside of their house, I literally avoid it because patriarchal, patriot, whatever. Patriotism? Yeah, patriotism and niggas don't feel good to me. That doesn't feel like the combination of a place I'm about. Niggas were trying to be like, oh,
00:01:56
Speaker
actual rodeo cowboys do that shit. And I'm like, whoa, that's embarrassing. Y'all shouldn't do that. You thought you ate that, but it ain't nothing. That's because black rodeo cowboys do that or whatever. Y'all should be more upset about that.
00:02:16
Speaker
Like you couldn't, it couldn't be a Pan-African flag. It couldn't be literally anything else. Like literally anything else. The cover of a book, maybe, I don't know. Shit.
00:02:28
Speaker
They could wear all red. They could have been on fire. Yeah, everything. They could cosplay. They could do whatever the fuck they want. They don't need to wear no damn flag. The only time that niggas will wear a flag every year, I don't know why we keep doing it, but every single fourth day of July, niggas hold backyard. I don't know people who do that. Well, I know some people, like older people who do cookouts,
00:02:58
Speaker
I feel like we are. Yeah, they will still be doing the colors. I don't know. I haven't. I haven't been to know black cookout. They had no like, I don't know. It's just like, it's just a kick out like, and we all got off work. Like, let's come.
00:03:18
Speaker
It's a girl and it's niggas. That is it. Or I'll see babies with the flag bathing suit. I'll be like, tick their shit off. Well, some people do dress their children in that stuff. I feel like my parents used to, but... My parents did it once upon a time. Wait, your dad did that? Yes. No, Bria, your dad did that. No, I'm saying yes. I mean, I feel like, yeah, that's...
00:03:47
Speaker
That's interesting news. That's
Family, Traditions, and Military Aspirations
00:03:49
Speaker
interesting. I mean, not entirely. I mean, he wanted to be in the military. He wanted to be in the military and grandma didn't want him to, so he didn't.
00:04:01
Speaker
Oh my gosh, when I was a kid, I literally used to be like, every time they'd be like, you're going down to Virginia with your uncle. I'd be like, what the military man? Like he wants to be in the, cause I really was like, he's an army man, mainly because he ironed his t-shirts and stood like this. And I'll be like, he was in the military. If ironing a t-shirt just gave military to me, but. That's hilarious. It's hilarious.
00:04:29
Speaker
Because I knew he didn't play football. He didn't get football. Maybe he didn't play football. Did he play football? No. I mean, not that I knew of. He just gave a football body, and a football body that don't play football reminds me of military.
00:04:48
Speaker
football. But yeah, what are we chatting about today? Yeah, none of that. None of that. Yeah. Okay, so we're talking about today, we're interviewers, we're on our Gayle Kingship.
Interview Inspirations and Vampire Series
00:05:05
Speaker
No, that's not who interviews. What is her name? What is her name? No, the white woman who interviewed the girls together. What is that woman's name? Barbara Walters. We're on our Barbara Walters show.
00:05:18
Speaker
Barbara. I couldn't say Oprah because we don't fuck with her neither. So who else out of there aren't a lot of white woman. Barbara watches have raised the girls down. No, how about you just talk to a regular who just
00:05:37
Speaker
Okay. Crack is white. A regular nigga that just goes around like, like, let's, I would rather- I don't smoke crack. Crack is cheap. I would rather give, what's his name? Crack is white. I was like the homeless romanticist. I like that guy. He's sex with a J. So I would rather give him, I forgot his name. The hopeless romanticist. I don't know. I forgot his name, but- The shirt. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, insert his name. Let's start with a J.
00:06:03
Speaker
Interview with the Vampire. Yes. Oh, God. He's so fine. That show is so good. It is. Everybody should get into it. My wig is being snatched this season already. It'll be on two episodes in. It's very crazy. And I'm very scared of... I've never read the Anne Rice books before. Apparently a lot more people did than I did. But I'm very nervous about the things that are happening this season. I am terrified because I do not know what any of this means.
00:06:32
Speaker
Fun fact, did y'all know that Queen of the Damned, the Aaliyah movie, is also connected to Interview with the Vampire? I didn't know that. I think so. Also, can I talk to one? Interview with the Vampire. Interview with the Vampire. Because it's like, it's a part of the like vampire series. Yeah, no, I kind of figured that because they mentioned Lestat in that too. I mean, I don't
00:06:54
Speaker
I feel like I never, whenever I saw that movie, I was like barely conscious. But also it was really just, I don't know what's going on here, but Aaliyah is a fine ass vampire. And she's fucking amazing. I don't remember anything about the plot. Oh, I can tell you the plot, but I don't. I mean, I know. I know now.
00:07:17
Speaker
Anyway. I don't know anything of which I would talk. This feels like the Marvel episode all over again. It's really nice. Have you not seen it? Did I watch Interview with a Vampire? No. That's why I'm telling you now.
00:07:33
Speaker
I'm looking up and I see black people. Well, that's why I'm telling now, I was sharing the connection that, hey, did y'all know the queen of the damn movie is connected to the series. I was excited about Aaliyah and her fine ass vampire.
00:07:50
Speaker
Well, let me also be clear. The movie, and if you were the vampire, I think Brad Pitt is in it. I never saw Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise and Kirsten Benster. OK, you make the face. You make the face. Right. It is an odd combination. But it is probably one of the best movies in my top five movies. I have not ever seen it. And yes, it's for white people. I've only seen clips. But it is so, like, if you were the vampire, like, the actual, like, the movie, like, the 1997, I think, movie, is amazing.
00:08:18
Speaker
I recommend people watch that. And then watch his remake, because his remake is also real. The episodic series is also really good.
00:08:25
Speaker
but I say watch that. I'm not gonna watch the series first and then watch everything else because I don't want anything spoiled, quote unquote, for me before I actually see it in this iteration. Because I also feel like they're doing this iteration better, like wasn't fucking Lestat or whatever, like a plantation owner in the original series or some shit.
00:08:50
Speaker
The original movie? In the book. In the book. Oh, I don't know. Which is why I'm like... In the movie, he wasn't a... I think they probably thought that it was, like, very adept to not put that in the adaptation, but that is definitely, like, what the origins are in the book. I'm not right. It could be the implementation either, I don't think.
00:09:17
Speaker
But all of that to say that I feel like Jacob Anderson is a phenomenal Black-British actor and both of the girls that do Delaney are also very great. Both of the Delaney and Claudia, Delaney and Bailey Bass that both do Claudia are very great.
00:09:38
Speaker
Yeah, they're both really good. And the girls, they're not gonna be the same, no? I feel like it's a different kind of energy. Right, but I like both. Yeah, I feel like they both bring something different. Anyway, let's not make it a Marvel situation.
00:09:56
Speaker
I'm back. I think Shelly and everyone else should watch this interview because it's black and it's gay. That combination. And it's vampires and it's a fun time.
00:10:11
Speaker
OK, cool. I'm sold. So on our interview, on our interviews, we're just chit-chat and shooting the shit, kicking it out, whatever. I was inspired because, you know, I feel like we talk a lot of shit about shit on this podcast. A lot of my personal business on this podcast, not really. Well, it could be a lot more, but I got some personal shit up here and my co-hostel kept it relatively cute. And I love that for them.
00:10:40
Speaker
Um, but I was like, Oh, like, let's maybe like share some more of ourselves. Let's be more open. Let's have a convo. Let's Kiki. Let's do, let's, let's be more, you know, I guess open. Like I said, um, Sheldon got a face and I don't know what the face is for babes.
00:10:56
Speaker
Only thing I thought in my head was like, open in what direction? Like fun or open in like therapy? Oh God, why do we go to therapy? I don't have time. Let's not do that. I don't have time. That's the reason I was like, wait. I like positionables every day. I don't need any more help. Okay, but I'm here for it. What's up? Okay.
00:11:21
Speaker
So, well, I guess I had, my first question was for Bria.
00:11:28
Speaker
Sorry, so we're gonna be at each other's questions. It's like family and personal questions. Have a good time, get into it with us. Okay, fabulous. My first question was for Bria, and I realized that maybe this question is personal and maybe not for the part now that I think about it, because it's not something I would have, I don't, okay. I'm gonna ask it, and then you could
Evolving Parent-Child Relationships
00:11:51
Speaker
say, bitch, not too much.
00:11:56
Speaker
Okay, all right. Okay, so you know Mother's Day just came up and I was gonna ask what your relationship with your mom is like. I would say, you know, I love my mom very much. I think it is very different because my mom has gone through some
00:12:21
Speaker
I'm not gonna give it too much, but at a certain point in my childhood, my parents were going through a lot of stuff. And I think a lot of that changed my mom mentally and emotionally. So it has made the relationship a bit more awkward, but still very loving.
00:12:51
Speaker
And I think getting older, I've been more so figuring out how to navigate that relationship with my mom. But I feel like what I enjoy the most when I still talk to her and see her is just seeing the parts of her that just remind me of how she was when I was younger.
00:13:23
Speaker
But I feel like it's hard. I don't know if anybody else has that same experience because I'm particularly the one of my friends and family who's like, I'm running away from home and I'm very far from all of my family members. Both my parents live in Virginia.
00:13:50
Speaker
One of my brothers lives in North Carolina and the other lives in Europe. But yeah, I don't know if other people kind of just feel a sense of separation with your family in general. I know Tyrell, you've kind of traveled a lot of your adult life or whatever.
00:14:14
Speaker
And Shelley, on the other hand, you've been in the same, you know, relatively close to your parents and your siblings, even though Steven's moving and stuff, and that'll be...
00:14:31
Speaker
Sorry, I didn't mean to make that like a stressful thing. Shelly, oh my! But yeah, see, I mean, you and Stephen are going to be apart for like the first time, really. But I feel like for me, I definitely feel like I have a different relationship with my family than I feel like a lot of other people do around me. Whereas like, we love each other through like a lot of trauma, but you know, we're not necessarily as close as I feel like other people are.
00:15:01
Speaker
Yeah, but I don't know if like, especially like you Tyrell, if that's like the same experience you would say you have, having like been apart from. Um, yeah. Anybody who knows, anybody who's close and who knows me knows that I left connect. I left Virginia in 2017 because of trauma and didn't come back for like a couple of years. Um, so.
00:15:30
Speaker
Yeah, it is different. And I think that I'm not close, I think, to my parents, emotionally either, at all either. And so I think that I'm always trying to be closer to them.
00:15:50
Speaker
And I'm always trying to get them more involved with my life. I used to go home once a year. I go home every three or four months, hoping that some of us would be more invested and more interested and more of whatever. And I realize now that they are not. And that's just who they are as people. And I just have to be OK with that.
00:16:15
Speaker
So, yeah, no, we're not as close as I would like us to be either. Like, you know, I hear my friends like, oh, my mom and I went shopping and we had lunch and she flew out to visit me and like, you know, my dad sent me this package and then he came to visit me and then we did stuff together in the garden. And I'm like, that's crazy because I can't get my parents to come up here more than once every three years.
00:16:36
Speaker
Yeah, so I do think I've been trying to do that and it hasn't worked. And so I'm thinking like, okay, this is what our relationship dynamic is permanently. And you were speaking too about your mom.
00:16:46
Speaker
And I think I thought about that too, like how I think that there are, like my mom used to be very loving and caring and sweet and just like kind and like so dope. Like she would do it on us. It was very sweet. And like when I talk about like 10 or 11, that kind of like a switch flip that it just stopped. And I think that there are some moments where I do still see those things in her. And I think I really appreciate those moments the most as I get older too. Cause I'm like, oh no, you're still in there somewhere or whatever happened didn't completely just shatter the mom I used to know, but
00:17:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's also like being an adult. You're like, oh, the adults in my life. You really are building whatever relationship with them that is going to look like whatever it is for the rest of your life, basically.
00:17:30
Speaker
And I feel like for me, that was kind of like the difficulty of it. It's just like, you know, my mom was this certain kind of person. And then like dealing with like just mental and emotional stuff, like she's just not all the same. And I feel like, yeah, she
00:17:54
Speaker
Yeah, I just feel like it's just thinking about, oh, the adults in my life are human and they can change and be different than how I thought they were when I was seven years old or whatever. But yeah, I thought that's my answer.
00:18:15
Speaker
I feel like, am I supposed to ask? I was like, okay. I was like, I hope I like, no. How did you know you were, you ate that up, you knew what happened, you next, you knew what happened, you next. Okay, great, love that.
00:18:30
Speaker
I feel like, okay, I'm gonna try to like, now that my synapses are firing better, I'm like, I have an idea of what the questions are gonna be like. So I would ask Shelly the questioner.
00:18:46
Speaker
You would ask Shelly another question. Like a different, yeah, yeah. Now, you could ask Shelly the same question if you wanted, but you could also, like, I have questions for you. I know how Shelly's relationship is. Right, we both do it. I'm so jealous. We both do it. I'm so jealous. Brienne, my girl was so big. It was like a full circular outfit. No, but it's like, y'all are like the penultimate, like, if a mother-daughter relationship could be like a Hallmark card, like, I feel.
00:19:15
Speaker
I feel like you are like the both of you are like the same person. So I'm already very familiar. We are all very familiar. Yes, but I will quickly say that that was a lineage that got us there, not just like me and my mom woke up one day and we were there because
00:19:34
Speaker
Um, I will also note our relationship wasn't always great. As an adult, our relationship got really great. But I remember high school, sometimes it's really hard when I tried when people go, Oh my gosh, it's so perfect now. And I'm like, it's because both of us grew simultaneously. And we wanted to put in the work to have a better relationship because like,
00:19:55
Speaker
I grew up with a lot of different traumas and a lot of different things that were going on that in some ways, especially because my mom was the main person who was raising me, if things weren't always going the greatest, I'd be like,
00:20:10
Speaker
So it was like, it was a lot because we had a lot of tension, particularly because I was a very, still am a very vocal person, but as a very vocal young person, it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way because I could walk up to somebody and be like, I don't like them. They're an abuser. And I wasn't just saying, I don't like them. They're mean. Like I was like, I don't like them. They like, shouldn't be around or like, like a lot that happened there. So.
00:20:37
Speaker
I think for us most of our lineage of how we even got here was because of my grandma and how she is but then also that softness that we were able to actually this is the other side of the growth that we put in because had it not been both of us putting in work
00:20:56
Speaker
there would have been beef for a very long time, unnecessarily. But there would have been like, there's so much tension that just gets brought up that there were certain times, particularly when a parent gaslights you, or like when a parent like might invalidate certain experiences because you're younger, that could take away from like you feeling like if that's the truth or not. But the fact that my mother got to a point like within her own growth journey and was like bet like,
00:21:23
Speaker
that is wrong, or I bet, I completely support you in how you're feeling and validating that, that that completely transforms.
00:21:31
Speaker
like our relationship and how and who we are. Um, and also like, I don't know when she woke up one day and was like, I'm queer affirming. I affirm all the things y'all got going on. I'm radical, like all of the, I said, yes ma'am. Listen, it's the way I'm done done. We'll really try because her siblings are not
00:21:55
Speaker
She is the leader of her generation. And they're not even following. They're not, okay. She'll pipe into things and talk about like, oh, like, you know, people's pronouns and things like that. And it's fallen on deaf ears, but it's okay.
00:22:16
Speaker
See what she's doing though. I'm just so proud that she's doing the work because had it been a one-sided thing of like like oftentimes a lot of times they like authoritative or parent figures try to shapeshift the kid or try to make them feel like things are wrong but because it was another person who actually like saw me as a person and wanted to take that time then
00:22:44
Speaker
Yes, over time, things got way better. And I think that's why we have such a gratitude for it. Not to highlight that it was a mess, but... But it's, you know, it's been a journey. It's taken effort from both of y'all. Yes. And that's beautiful. We love girls. That is my twin.
00:23:08
Speaker
We're happy. Yes. Yeah, I don't know what that dance is, but we got our letter L up, and we keep rotating it so y'all can visually see it. Don't know what that means. I don't either. But my friends keep telling me that I'm not in the loop of what's going on, so I now try to look at stuff and try to catch video. Probably not. I mean, you're not on social media that much. I know that this dance is really, really late, but I do feel like. It's OK, though. You picked up on the cue when it was appropriate. I feel like you tapped it enough.
00:23:37
Speaker
I feel like, yeah, so thinking about just like my response to like being apart and really just like living in different places.
Future Aspirations and Travel Desires
00:23:49
Speaker
I feel like that made me think about a question that I was writing down.
00:23:57
Speaker
So like you've mostly been living in Jersey and now you've like, I feel like you've like planted this like, you know, like planted yourself and work in like a really beautiful way. And I feel like, you know, so many possibilities for you and your future. I feel like a lot of my thoughts are about like just our future selves. But yeah, I feel like thinking about just like,
00:24:27
Speaker
community and stuff, where do you feel like you see yourself in the coming years or whatever, five, ten years from now, as far as it comes to the space?
00:24:42
Speaker
Because yeah, I feel like you just feel very synonymous to New Jersey and New York now, to me. And I feel like maybe other people in our family or other people we know might leave Jersey, but I feel like, yeah, I just wonder if that's something you would imagine yourself somewhere else, or if you feel very connected to the space that you're in right now.
00:25:09
Speaker
I also say that as me and Tyrell have just been people who've been all over the place and like, you know, I don't know the Tyrell things. I don't know the Tyrell feels super connected to Connecticut, but you know.
00:25:28
Speaker
So yes, I deeply feel connected to this place. And just like culturally in so many different ways, it feels very comforting, but also like a space that also invites an expansion, particularly because of the community that I'm around, the community that like I'm constantly building.
00:25:56
Speaker
So it feels very warm and very good. And at the same time, do I see myself being somewhere that's not here? Absolutely. You do like to travel all over the place. Okay. Shelly will look a flight and not tell nobody.
00:26:17
Speaker
That is the you that's like my father. You gonna start posting feet pics like in the sand and somewhere and just be like, I remember you. You know what y'all gonna get? Y'all gonna get a tree pick from me and it's gonna be a tree that you know is not fucking here. I did that one time. I literally posted a tree and it was like the winter over here and I posted a sunny ash, chopper glass tree and that was all I put up. I was like, I just need niggas to know I'm not in that country. I'm not here.
00:26:44
Speaker
I'm not there. I'm not there. Like Shelly, we'll be like, oh, we, like, where's Shelly? Like we had, we'll be doing this, we're supposed to be doing that. And Shelly didn't book the flight and didn't tell nobody. So whatever pod cafe, the shit we had planned, shut down till Shelly returns because they didn't know you were leaving and you're like in a whole other country. And we're like, where the fuck? And then like, I like Brea.
00:27:07
Speaker
I don't have Shelly's location, so I don't know where Shelly be. I'm here, but it says Shelly's in Africa. It says Shelly's in Europe. Oh, Shelly's in Canada, in Toronto. I'm like, what? And I'm like, until nobody nothing, but love that. Love that. The funniest is actually that your mom will text me and ask me where your location is. Yeah. That's because she made an iPhone. She didn't need an iPhone. Apple or Steve Jobs arrested a fuckery they got, but I would love if she had an iPhone.
00:27:37
Speaker
Whoo, that would help. But I definitely do. I feel like I see myself being in
00:27:49
Speaker
more than one place because I feel like although I have roots in some places, I do feel like I can also like ground myself in other places. Maybe not like a tree that's been there for like a hundred years. Like I might not, at this point Jersey is giving the place that I have a tree that's been rooted for a hundred years. Very, very deeply rooted here. So I don't think I'm, I mean, I don't know if I will have an experience that's like,
00:28:19
Speaker
particularly like that somewhere else. Because once I got my passport, which really wasn't that long ago, it was two years ago, I have been, that's one of the reasons why I do be out of here. So like, on like, on the go immediately. Just because that was one of the things that I felt was like limiting as well as like,
00:28:44
Speaker
money um and then I was like hmm I could also plan these things out and I think the more that I travel or the more that I experience things the more that I feel like I can have even moments being in different places even if it's for a one to five year residency like even if I go to Africa for if I'm in South Africa for three years for a residency like I can do that and then maybe I can be Sorrels for five years and I feel like um
00:29:13
Speaker
As long as I am in community with Black people, as long as I am connected with elders in some kind of way, and I'm able to create and be around art and queer people, then I, and especially the sun, put me around the sun in some sand, I feel like I will definitely find community anywhere.
00:29:39
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. I do not. I am not one of those people who are like born and raised and bear me here. I'm not saying I'm planning on it, but like, let me be buried somewhere that I don't have nothing to do with Jersey. You know, people like born in this place when they pass in another, it's like nowhere near it. Like, let me be somewhere else. Let me be in the middle of Nigeria.
00:30:04
Speaker
Yeah, don't bury me in Virginia, y'all. I'm so sorry. I don't want to be there. Sprinkle me round. Plant me as a tree. Yeah, I said that I was like, I want to be cremated and just sprinkle me somewhere nice. Like, sprinkle me somewhere real nice because Virginia is cute and that is like, I guess,
00:30:26
Speaker
a proverbial home, but like, do I really fuck with her that heavy? She's something. She's an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary. She'll be an obituary.
00:30:49
Speaker
No, Jersey, I guess it will be in libituary, but where it really will be for me is Jersey Club is going to be playing at my service. So it's gonna, how soon will it be playing? I feel like that was one question I had brewing was about what would your homegoing service be like?
00:31:09
Speaker
Oh my gosh, a party, a production. I've already told some people, because who knows who's going to go first? I don't know. But I just tell people who I do know now that I trust, I'll be like, if y'all niggas are here and I'm not,
00:31:24
Speaker
Y'all better not fuck this up. So, and this was before I knew about Second Line. This was like, at least 15 years ago. I was like, I want a marching band. So I said, start looking for bands now. Start looking for band directors. Not to say it's gonna happen soon, but I don't want that scramble shit. I've seen a lot of people do that scramble, scramble, scramble. What do we do? What do we do? Like, how do we do this? And it's just like, I'ma give y'all a blueprint about some of the things. You don't gotta scramble. Like, just know,
00:31:54
Speaker
that it's not about to be some sad quiet shit like yeah niggas could cry they can miss a nigga love that for them but no like if if this is not a party with some good home cooked food get all the elders who are still here that make some food to make some food get a band get a production whoever people can
00:32:18
Speaker
I want a lot of music and a lot of food. Probably the brightest colors of a fashion show. Either bright colors or monochromatic that it has to give the girls food. You love a monochromatic. We love monochromatic. We love monochromatic. And it's like, niggas all wear all black. The whole room is in all fucking black. So how about we monochromatic this shit to another fucking color? I feel that. That's true. So we could eat the girls down in another monochromatic sequence. Oh, yes. Yeah.
00:32:48
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I feel like that makes a lot of sense. I won't be on the food. If I'm still here, I won't be on the food. I'm not nominating myself for that.
00:32:59
Speaker
I'm not meaning you either, babe. Take and be on the food. You're on the creative writing of the obituary. Yeah, thank you. You're on the creative writing. Please write the obituary into a poem. I don't want that long shit where they just read all the accomplishments. I feel like you should start with Trina as the baddest bitch.
00:33:25
Speaker
I feel like for me, because it makes me think about La was talking about in an interview, just talking about literally he's already spoken to Zendaya about like, this is what you're going to wear.
00:33:42
Speaker
So don't fuck it up. Styling beyond the grave is crazy, but also I want to be that sense of artistic dramatic. So I feel like for me, I feel like I'm probably going to write something. I'm going to write something in a performance, and I'm like, y'all need to perform this.
00:34:08
Speaker
If I go, I didn't say it was, I didn't say it was a poem. It could be a play. It could be, you know, whatever. Not a play in real life.
00:34:18
Speaker
I love this. If I'm still here, I'm one of the directors telling them don't fuck this up and you better come to rehearsal. I feel like that's what I want. You can't come. And if you're not all booked, you cannot be in the show. No. No, you can be in the book. Absolutely not. Yeah. If she said that at one time in 20, I don't know, fuck, what if she said it to you? Don't use that shit. We didn't ask for it. Yeah. Yeah. Tyrell, what about you?
00:34:48
Speaker
I don't think I've, I just knew I wanted to be cremated. I don't think I gave any more like credence to like what it would look like. I also thought about it. Like I haven't re idea of a second line and like knowing what it means now I'm visiting new Orleans and feeling like the energy and like kind of seeing it happen in real life is amazing. And I'm like, I don't know if I could use that if I could do that.
00:35:11
Speaker
And I don't want them being like, bitch, you tried it. Who is this? What were you thinking? No one put this together correctly. What colors are you wearing? I don't see any of the proper look attire. What is it? The string that holds the people back. Oh, yeah. Where are the things that you have nothing? What are you doing? And I just can't imagine what that looked like.
00:35:34
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think I want like I because I remember like going to my grandmother's funeral and I had a uncle started singing at the funeral and I didn't so I got to the funeral I didn't I didn't cuz my grandmother sit matter of fact that too while we talk about it I don't know what I come up with but respect my motherfucking wishes if I tell you I don't want no motherfucking funeral don't give me no motherfucking funeral my grandmother passed away and these niggas gave her a funeral she said I don't want no funeral she said creepy had me spit the money and have a good day boom that was all it was these niggas was like always like bought like got a little like
00:36:04
Speaker
rinse out a little haul or whatever, like the little, whatever, um, the, the, the, the spot and like pat my girl with this action at the front of, at the front of the room. And I'm looking like she gonna fuck y'all up because I know if you told y'all, she didn't want one of these at all. And I remember my dad telling me, he'd be like, yeah, she didn't want one. So I didn't go. I showed up for the repass shit. I didn't show up for the funeral because she said she didn't want one. Um,
00:36:28
Speaker
But I, yeah, I don't, I don't know what I want, but I'm going to add to my wishes to be respected and y'all don't try to fucking deviate. So if I say, I don't want no freedom to throw a motherfucking party in my name, pop that pussy from 12 a.m. 12 p.m. I want, I want Hennessy. I want Konyak. I want you bitches lit. I want Rick. I don't want box wine. Give me the good wine. I want you bitches out here.
00:36:50
Speaker
I want you bitches out here listening to fucking Tina Snow. Okay, absolutely. I want you bitches out here popping close to the city girls. I want to hear all the 2009, I want to hear all the ass shaking joints. I want y'all to play a Lia's album for me from beginning to end. I don't want to hear no fucking skips. And I mean self-titled, not the other shit. I want self-titled from beginning to end. I just feel like I really, I needed to be a vibe.
00:37:16
Speaker
Yeah, I feel that. Cause yeah, I feel like going to a funeral and being, especially because of like what I practice, what I believe in, like me and my grandmother are very much still connected to me. So like there is no, like when she, like her physical being is not here, but her spirit and her, and I'm still being guided. So I'm like, to me, my grandmother could die and feel like the heaven is like, oh, she's gone forever. Cause I feel like she isn't, like I, like she's still, I might also say otherwise. I'll put it that way. Period. Yeah. That is.
00:37:45
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Wow. I hijacked Shelly asking a question, but those thoughts came up in them all. Oh no, my question perfectly aligns with what you already were saying. Beautiful, amazing. I need to go to you. It's going to you. Yeah, go to you. Okay, work.
00:38:03
Speaker
which it actually literally goes with what you were just saying because my question was, it was because we've had so many conversations about ancestors, about our authors and all those other things. And my question for you is, what does your growing and ever-changing relationship with your ancestors mean to you?
00:38:32
Speaker
Thinking is happening, y'all. I'm not being clear. It's just deep. I went to a... I thought the top of the camera was like, damn, bitch, come back. Where'd you go? It was uncertain. I'm like, do you hate the question? It was like, no, you don't. No, I hate the thing. What does it mean? So I think...
00:39:05
Speaker
A part of it is like discipline. For me, it's committing to them. It's honoring. I also think to me at the base level, like, yes, it's honoring my interests, but I think it's keeping the memories alive because I don't think, I like, so like with my grandmother, for example, like my favorite grandmother, her name is Tilly. Her name is Edwin. We all call her Tilly. Tilly.
00:39:35
Speaker
Um, when, when she passed, like we didn't have the, our relationship was a little bit strained. And so there were, I didn't have an opportunity to like say, I'm sorry, or talk about why I was so upset or even like how I had gotten to the point I had gotten to with our family in general. And so I think my also gave me the options to like lay those burdens and lay that heaviness there and feel like I was being heard. And, um,
00:40:02
Speaker
It's, it's comforting, right? I think it's become, like, as I get more into like my family history, family lore, if you will, um, and just like learning stuff about them, I'm like, Oh, I think I'm at the first of my lineage to probably move like this and do extra like worship and veneration. But I also know that I'm not, I'm the most current, I would argue. Um, and so like.
00:40:32
Speaker
Yeah, I think that there's, like, knowledge to be gained and knowledge to be had. Um, I think my, like,
00:40:44
Speaker
I'm not going to hold you, but like there's something for me that feels very powerful about being taken to my ancestors.
Spirituality, Ancestral Connections, and Practices
00:40:49
Speaker
Like it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, and I don't want to sound weird on this podcast. And I want to just be like, but you sound crazy to the, to the, to the, to the hospital for you bitch. Oh no. So the girls who get it, they'll get it to the girls who don't, they won't let it fall by your ear. If you don't get it. Okay. Um,
00:41:11
Speaker
But I, it's a physical energy service for me. When they're in the room, right now, I'm feeling very powerful, but I feel them. It's a warm feeling, but it's also a very, I can do a thing, I got this. It's hard to explain. And I think that
00:41:33
Speaker
That powerfulness is probably some of the reason why I'm still able to push through some of the fuck shit, even right now, through some of the fuck shit. And as I get older, and as I grow more into this, and as I ask more questions, and as I do more work, and as I become more committed, I get more access to things. I understand things more. My dreams become clearer. My feelings about certain things become more distinct. And I'm grateful for that, because it's a part of personal growth for me.
00:42:01
Speaker
Um, and it's nice. It's very, very nice. And yeah, also this is like, I, this has been a journey, my nigga, like this journey, not like we just started, we just started like, can we talk up? Okay. I'm looking back because it's the autism on the table. You can't see it, but it's, it's in a corner in the table. Um, but I just unpack my ancestors, like, like my, like my author may be like.
00:42:28
Speaker
for two or three days, maybe three days ago, not fourth or fifth. And I've been here since like May 5th, 4th or 5th. And I just unpacked them. But it was the feeling, like when I got here, everything felt so warm and like, oh, I'm in the right place. But I didn't feel the need to unpack. But then I was like, well, this isn't for you. But there's a lot of pieces like that where I think I'm still learning.
00:42:50
Speaker
This is as much for you as it is for them. Yes, you honor them. Yes, you care. Yes, you want to keep your family connections that you want to stay, keep whatever, pull whatever you can from your folks.
00:43:06
Speaker
Because I wasn't like we weren't left with like a lot like there's a there's a real quick aside. There's a whole thing happened with my people's right now, because my grandmother and my grandfather, my great grandma and great grandpa were had a home and my grandfather died in 2019. Um, no, God 2021. Bitch. And, um,
00:43:26
Speaker
And he, like when he died, my grandmother moved in with my uncle. And so they had this house, their house was old. They've had that house for like 40, 50, 60 years, 70 years, something like that.
00:43:37
Speaker
I was hoping that somebody would, before they put it on at the market and cleaned it up, I was hoping that they would give the family, someone from the family the option to buy the home and redo it and then live in it or keep the land for us as a family, for lineage purposes, right? And they had decided that it wasn't about anybody else. We were going to be wondering with this. So my uncle put all this money into it, fixed it up, and decided he was going to sell it at some point. And I was like,
00:44:07
Speaker
shit like this makes me mad because we don't have a lot like I didn't get a lot from my grandparents in terms of like connection um like community like care and so I was like it would be nice to have something like that like the house to keep
00:44:23
Speaker
And not for myself, but a family thing. The family has access to this home, whether it's visiting, or you're struggling, and you need it, or even if it's forcing the city to meet there for holidays. So people can cook at this house still. No, Grandma and Grandpa. Grandpa's not here, and Grandma won't be cooking. But the home is still there for those of us who want to come and have a meal, or who want family gatherings, maybe even things like cookouts and stuff like that.
00:44:51
Speaker
Like family reunions, right? And no one saw that or the importance of that. And I got on my phone, I was like, yeah, we don't care about that. Like, we don't care. Like, we don't care about the house. We don't really care what happens to it. It's just whatever. And I was like, OK. All right. But yeah, no, thinking about all of that, all I had to say, I fucks with them heavy. And it's been life changing and affirming and sometimes really hard. And I appreciate all of it because it's a fucking journey in real time.
00:45:21
Speaker
Right. Right. Definitely a journey in real time, but also like to be connected to what doesn't just feel like the physical of what's going on here and to have those like big spirits and big energies and to have support to have
00:45:41
Speaker
just literally a connection to things outside of ourselves also humbles the physical experience to be like, look, this ain't just all about your physical body or money or that materialistic shit. Cause there are things that if you actually do connect to the feeling, if you actually do like humble yourself to the experience of what we're experiencing, it's far bigger than all of that. So even like what you're saying about, you know,
00:46:07
Speaker
the connections of land and all that other stuff. My people's going through stuff too, but one thing is I'm ready to tussle because we gonna have this land. We're gonna have something.
00:46:16
Speaker
Um, but yeah, I think there's, that is like a whole, there's so many conversations around that, particularly when some, like some folks want it for lineage or they want it for ease of life. Like if somebody is struggling, like there is access to something. There's so many other things, but sometimes people might be like, nah, I'm good. But like, you know, there's, there's a lot that comes with literally when people be like, keep the land in the family.
00:46:47
Speaker
But that was the question I had for you. I'll pass the mic to you to continue on with the things. I was going to say, oh, yep, I was going to say that.
00:47:00
Speaker
Um, and I think, um, if y'all have, I, I'm wondering like, if we should switch, like you asked Shelly a question and then I just basically doing the opposite of what we did. Oh yeah, we can do that. That works. I did have a question for you, Brea, but if we have it at the time, I'm going to ask it. Well, okay. All right. Oh my, oh my gosh. Um,
00:47:31
Speaker
So I'm asking Shelly the question now. Work. OK. Yeah. I have a couple. I'm trying to think of the ones that I want to ask. I have like two. I have like two that I was like, do I really feel? And one of them is in line with it, isn't like the vein of the previous convo. But I'm like, do I want to stay there or do I want to do something else? Which should give you, you know.
00:47:52
Speaker
I mean, if you want it to be a double barreled question, I can even though double barreled, they're like, not the question you're supposed to act in the whole sense of life. It's like double barreled is supposed to be like a bad, a bad thing. I guess, I guess, I guess I'll get with her. I think you should.
00:48:17
Speaker
Sorry, y'all. I'm sorry, that's just what I thought. There's a lot of queer homosexy activity. Okay, so I, you know what's funny? I'm not exactly sure what you actually practice, and I think I've asked you this before, and I don't think we actually ever talked about it for a while. We talk about other spiritual stuff, but I think I'll never ask you if you practice something. So I'm gonna ask you, what do you practice, if anything,
00:48:42
Speaker
And if you feel comfortable sharing, that's fine. If you don't say, bitch, you know, guard your neck, mind your business. And I am curious to know if you know who was on your head and if you want to know who's on your head. Okay, cool. So one of them is what do I practice? I don't particularly like have
00:49:07
Speaker
a name to it. Like I don't have one of those like, yeah, this is the one that I'm confidently practicing. I will say that in my subconscious, I still have very Baptist roots for my upbringing. But throughout all of the readings and all the different things that I've experienced, I also felt feel very connected to who to
00:49:30
Speaker
And I feel very connected to who practices, particularly because once I realized what it actually was, that's when I was like, I really started asking people different questions. And I even like asked my grandma a bunch of questions where I'll be like, she had just made some black eyed peas and some cornbread. She like randomly made it. And it made me think of I was like, yeah, Grandma, I'm just wondering, like, why do you make
00:49:56
Speaker
Black Eyed Peas, collard greens, and cornbread on New Year's Day. And she's just like, you know, it's just tradition. And like, you know, I'm just trying to ask those questions around there because I know that
00:50:10
Speaker
Even if you ask somebody and they say it's just tradition, there are a lot of things that a lot of people that I've seen that have hudu practices and highlight hudu practices have talked about the same things my family does. So even on New Year's Day, when they get back from watch service, watch day service, then
00:50:33
Speaker
They, when I used to live with the whole family, I used to be, you know, active and excited. I'm back home. Let's get into it. Let's get in the house. And I remember, they were like, no, you can't go in the house until a man walks inside. And I was like, what? Like, get out of here. Be for real. But because my family has created such like a culture of the traditional practices, even though they're not going to name it as Hoodoo, and even though they don't have to name it as Hoodoo,
00:51:01
Speaker
There's like a lot of practices that I know that I've been not only raised subconsciously to be practicing, but also in my conscious thinking of the combination of herbalism and just learning about like herbalism as a spiritual practice as well. So the intersections of herbalism and growing up around Black
00:51:25
Speaker
Black Baptist folks by way of the South, that definitely guides, that guides my practice. So that's why I don't feel like I particularly have a word for it because I don't
00:51:40
Speaker
I wouldn't say like I'm Christian or Baptist, but I will say I have a Baptist upbringing that definitely grounds me. And I'm a gospel girlie. I'm going to listen to gospel music. I'm going to break out into a Deaconess hymnal. I am an old Negro spiritual on the front patio rocking back and forth Southern elder.
00:52:02
Speaker
So what that comes with, that does, but also mainly because of the intersections of my identities. I feel like I don't particularly feel cared for and seen in like traditional religious Baptist spaces. So that's how I'm like, that's not me because I'm a queer fluid person. So it's given many times when I've gone into traditional spaces, they're just like,
00:52:31
Speaker
go away with the gay people. That is the number one sin above everything else. And I'm like, get me out of here. So I have different intersections of what I feel like I practice, but a lot of that is still evolving. Do I know who guides my head? I don't.
00:52:55
Speaker
Do I know where and how I feel connected? Yes. But does that mean that that is particularly who's my mother or who guides my head? I don't know that because who I thought I was incredibly connected to, I didn't even know there's so many deities that I didn't even know names of. So although they are like, it's kind of like knowing
00:53:22
Speaker
nine. I know some of them, but I don't know so many more who exist. So because of that, I'm just making sure that I'm not getting caught up in any trickery of any of them, but I am aligning myself with the ones that I feel connected to and whatever that way is, because
00:53:44
Speaker
It's basically like when somebody asked me based on Avatar, like who's my tribe? I really do be saying I'm an earthbender, but like one person really affirms me and was like, they were like, I really think that your balance of fire and all the rest of them, once they feel like supreme balance to you, then you're giving Avatar. And I said, maybe don't tell so many people, cause I'd be feeling like that too if I would just get the balance.
00:54:09
Speaker
Um, so that also is like how I feel about spiritual practices that it feels like, yes, I could just pick one while at the same time, or about DTS. While I could just pick one, I feel like there might be another DT that I don't know that guides my head. That isn't like a one particular, but I do want to know.
00:54:39
Speaker
I want, yeah, that makes sense. I want to know too. And I will also say that I was an intimate practicing hoodoo because that's really what it's giving for me. My family doesn't necessarily do the practices. Like we've never been like a black guy piece family, but we've been in collagreens and cornbread kind of bitches for a long time. And it's other stuff like ties to nature and stuff. So I'm like, I think if I had to choose one or if I wanted to use like one as a guide, it would probably be hoodoo.
00:55:06
Speaker
Now, I'm going to act again. We're going to talk about this off camera because I want to give everybody a chance to answer questions. But I had an idea about who I thought, at least two people who I thought might have been in your head. And I was like, I don't know why, but I know about these. I know about this particular one. I wonder if it's the same two. I wonder if it's the two that you also think.
00:55:23
Speaker
We can definitely talk about that. I will not shout them out, not knowing. We're not going to tell the public. It will know. Not at all, because if I find out that it's not them, and the one who bled the guy in my head is like, so you have to shout them these other niggas out? I'm the one who's affecting you and your
00:55:47
Speaker
Right. You're my child. Get it together. You're embarrassing. Really? I'll be like, oh, my dad. All right. So yeah, that's why I don't be called a nobody mother. Same. I have not seen a DNA test. I mean, both have no other DNA tests. I mean, you can see a spiritual DNA test. I think at least one of them might be like a man with more masculine energy. And I'm like, I'm not going to say that. Is that about for me? No. Yes, for you, but also for me.
00:56:17
Speaker
Okay, well, I'll tell you more about why. Yeah. Okay, well, I have a question. I'm going to go to
00:56:29
Speaker
Oh my gosh, this question is going to go to my cousin to which I was about to do a whole bio introduction for you. You really don't need to do that. You're not going to. We don't have the time. I'm not going to. I'm not going to do that. I do have two questions that I really would love to ask, but I'm not going to. I might double barrel it as well. Oh my gosh.
00:56:58
Speaker
Okay, so here's the question. Okay. Because, you know, I, and I feel like many of us are already planning to have many of your books on our bookshelves like already reservation.
00:57:13
Speaker
And I feel like, you know, the girlies who really do like the actual curating of bookshelves that I love, I love walking into a house with a curator bookshelf. Come on, give me a high color, give me high, give me color coordinated. I've been to a house that has their bookshelf looks like piano keys, all black, all white. I don't know how they only have all black and all white books, but we love it because they actually have all black books, but they, I think they just took off the covers of all, whatever.
00:57:43
Speaker
because we are already planning for our bookshelves to be to have your own shelf or however you want to curate it. My question for you is, what is your ideal lineup of books that you would want on a bookshelf to both the left and the right of yours? So like, what would that be like if you could curate like an actual shelf for us? Oh, that's not.
00:58:13
Speaker
That question is so kind because I would have never thought that is such a good question. You know what's funny? I want to. Okay, here's what we can do because y'all have my books.
00:58:31
Speaker
I'm gonna answer, but I am curious because y'all have some things like what is around you. So while I'm answering, you know, like let me.
00:58:44
Speaker
I do have a section that your books go on. So I already know, but yes, I have two from you and they're both, they're both with each other and they're both in the same books for like nigga books over there. Then I have one over here for other books. Well, I'm definitely proud to be in the nigga books.
00:59:03
Speaker
ancestor books like you know ball one of them and then it's like you and Shelly is actually okay so here's here's what I'm yes no here's what I'm I think first I think I would be most happy and excited to be in a collection along with other talented family um so I believe that would
00:59:28
Speaker
include Shelly and their collection of poetry that goes with a CD of the album that the poetry is on.
00:59:43
Speaker
Okay. I feel like it also goes with like an art book of Yazzie, an art book of Maya. I feel like I would love, you know, that would be, that would really give. So I would just love, you know, a collection of all of our stuff together. I think, I feel like right now I'm just thinking of my favorite books. I don't really know that I can say that I
01:00:14
Speaker
you know, deserve for them all to be housed. That was very loud. Thank you. Here's what I would say I would love. Okay, I will say I would love, you know, if people shelve me with like Octavia Butler's dawn.
01:00:34
Speaker
I am also, I have not written like an epic fantasy but N.K. Jemisin has a really amazing trilogy called The Fifth Season. So if anyone's read that you can attest to it but I feel like being
01:00:53
Speaker
having something like that next to that would be amazing. I have comic stuff that I do and there are a lot of various comic artists that I like, that I can't
01:01:07
Speaker
purely think of one thing right now, but I feel like if I had, if I got to write like, I don't know, like Anubia or Storm or like, I don't know, some other country like X-Men or Marvel DC character, and that was included in a collection of like other black comic characters, like icons, static,
01:01:35
Speaker
You know, just like any, if I could be included in a collection of black comic characters, that would be really cool. But yeah, I feel like those are my thoughts, but I'm curious where y'all actually have me shelved or what is around what you have me shelved.
01:01:58
Speaker
I can say I'm looking at it. I'm looking at it. OK, so this isn't a question for Shelley, but Shelley is on the same. So it's you. I have like an actual book from like a book with a piece of poetry in it. And then I have like the comic book with like about hair, about black hair. So I have both of those. And then I have Shelley's
01:02:22
Speaker
I think it's like your, like Shelly's book of like, is it poetry or a story? It's something I haven't considered. Oh, I was like, I don't know. First of all, I'm mad because I wanted to get that chat book and I never got to get it. And Shelly was supposed to give me one. Mine is kind. Mine is kind. Wow.
01:02:46
Speaker
Well, not too much because they also have a book signed by you and I don't know everything they have in their house is fucking sorry. I mean, I could sign or whatever. I could sign it and give you one. So both of y'all are there. But then there's Octavia Butler. Um, I see. Is that Washington Shire? Oh, I see.
01:03:13
Speaker
which is by Akwaeke Maisie. Yes. I'm such a big fan of them. I just listened to fresh water. Very kind. So kind. I see some Gloria Naylor and
01:03:39
Speaker
What is his name? It's a book called Gone Fish. And his last name is like Rollins. I feel like I know what that is. I don't want to get up to go to Black. Because if I get up, it's amongst other Black. Yeah, that's where y'all are. So like, yeah, so I remember two last ones to the right, but you and Shelly are like in the middle. Wow, that's amazing. That all sounds like a beautiful bookshelf. Yeah. I love the curation. For what nigga should, yeah.
01:04:09
Speaker
Yeah. Nigga shit that I've read. Ooh, we love the emphasis of that you've read. That you've read it. Because I haven't read a lot of these books in here, but I've read most of those on that show back there, for sure. We love that. Yeah. Well, very quickly, I have a last question for Tyrell. Yeah, so my question for you
01:04:37
Speaker
You are in your gardener era, you know, connecting with the earth, you know, gardening and the ground. I also am very much thinking about this because Shelly and I, the weekend before Mother's Day, we went to a plant sale and we went to go buy some plants in Maplewood and bring them to our grandmother so she could also continue to be in her gardening era.
01:05:02
Speaker
And yeah, I just think about, that's, I really, I wanna go back and see them. But yeah, I'm thinking about like how gardening and like agriculture has just been like something that's very connected to our family from like our grandma to, you know, our grandpa Kenny, who, you know, created his own garden in the middle of,
01:05:31
Speaker
knew it, which is just like very crazy to think about. But yeah, so I feel like as you're in your gardening era Tyrell, I was wondering, you know, what is a lesson you feel like you've learned from nature?
Gardening Lessons and Heritage
01:05:47
Speaker
This is like a multi-part question, sorry. And what plant and its growth reminds you of yourself? And also if you feel like, you know, besides the obvious, if there are like
01:06:01
Speaker
ancestral, does your family have particularly close connections to agriculture? Oh, yeah. Okay, I can start with what plant I feel like. I don't feel like any of the plants because... Maybe I feel like every plant, because every one of these plants this season are going through something.
01:06:29
Speaker
There are some that are like more resilient, like, you know, they don't need a whole lot of anything. I know, but I'm not there. There are some that are like, usually we're like looking at plants that were like, okay, what is going to be the least amount of work for a grandmother? And there are some that are like, ooh, girl, you got to bring this, like, after six months, you got to bring this bitch inside. She got to be by the right window. Like, it's just, you know, a combination of things. I don't know if you feel like you know, I feel like
01:06:59
Speaker
I'm nobody's plant and everybody's plant because I'm really going through it. And like my plants are like, so like I have some plants and y'all can't see them, but there's some plants like my windowsill right now. And they're all herbs because I, I mean, I don't know about anyone else, but I have learned not to plant herbs in a, in a community garden or a garden in general, cause they will spread like wildfire, especially like peppermint, spearmint, any of the fucking mints. Um, they spread and they go.
01:07:28
Speaker
And so I was like, nope, don't want that. So my mint and stuff is in the window seal. And I had them in the car for four days. I didn't have any pots for them. And so I just bought pots. So I was up on Tuesday morning scoop, plant, repotting them so they would have a better chase. It's so bad.
01:07:52
Speaker
I was like, oh, yeah, I feel like my plants are, I mean, my plants are the ball headed together, confused together. Trying to, trying to make it. Cause mine, you know, I need the seedlings, right? So like they were, they, I've been growing them already and they just were like, girl, we're dry. We're thirsty. You have us in this hot ass car. It's 82 degrees outside. You haven't cracked the window. We are melting. They are roasted. And like now, like now we're sending them straight. They're not as dramatic. Things are looking good. They're looking up. But in the car, they were like,
01:08:23
Speaker
You're killing us on purpose. And you had the heat on and it was hot outside. No, no, no. That's how hot it is. You said the SpongeBob meme when he's dehydrated.
01:08:39
Speaker
But no, I feel like I have been within the way and trying to water myself. And it has been a struggle. So I do fuck all of my plants. And then I put some plants in the ground. But you're surviving and thriving. But that depends on who you ask. Because I guess I am. Well, I'm asking you. I mean, I guess I am. And I'm also frustrated. And it's a lot of other stuff. It's a lot of things. But also, one of your questions was, what about learn from plants?
01:09:09
Speaker
I have had to learn like patience, which I never have had. And then I had to like learn.
01:09:18
Speaker
like to just let things be. When I put plants into the ground, at the beginning of the year, I was really focused on making sure, but I grew things correctly. In the South, when I was home, I could pop something on the ground and it would grow. It would always grow. I could pop something in the ground, a couple of seeds or whatever. I'm going to have watermelon. I'm going to have parsley. I'm going to have something. I'm going to have tomatoes.
01:09:41
Speaker
And up north, it felt like it was a different thing, because the weather patterns here are different. And we don't have summer as long. And it gets colder sooner. And it stays colder longer. So I was afraid. I was so impressed by learning all the things I needed to know. I'm like, no, I need everything to be in order, the right type of soil, the right type of seeds, the right type of whatever. I got to be the perfect lit this. Make sure I have this fertilizer in the best whatever, in the best whatever. And I was just like, we're just putting the ground to see what happens.
01:10:07
Speaker
Get some compost, bitch, a little fertilizer, throw that shit in the ground, and hope for the best. Let's not get some compost, bitch. And that's why I went and bought mushroom compost, and I created QUT. Oh, period. And got a little organic fertilizer, and was like, girl, figure it out. And they're in the ground now. I haven't seen them yet. I put them in the ground on Monday. I'm going to go look this weekend to see how they're doing, and make sure that no animal ate them yet. Because some of them are already growing, growing, growing. But yeah, I just learned to have patience and trust the process. And also, if it doesn't work,
01:10:36
Speaker
Try again. It's OK for something not to work. Every harvest is not going to be a good harvest. And that's also OK. So that's that. And then I just think because I don't. So your other question about the ancestor connection, I'm not sure. Honestly, I know that I had an older couple of generations back who owned Landon, Virginia. And I think her family decided to sell it.
01:11:02
Speaker
And my nanny talked about how like her and her siblings are like my great-grandma and grandpa like grew up on a farm. And so in Newport News before it was a city, it was very much some- Giving farmland. Giving farmland. It was farms, it was horses. It was cows to pigs, like chickens, very much gave farmland. And that's in like the 50s and 60s, right? So like, yeah, like I,
01:11:30
Speaker
I don't know how closely tied we are to land. And I also know that like, there might, there, I think there might have been some sharecropping, but I can't really prove anything. I can't really trace the lineage back to, so like really more than two, maybe more than four generations. So I don't know.
01:11:47
Speaker
I hope so, though. I think so. Because some stuff just comes naturally to me. I'm like, I never learned this. I think some of it is that common sense. Maybe some of it is like, that just makes sense to make sure that you're supporting the plants and giving them minerals and stuff. And so I'm like, oh, no. If I pull it this way and bury it this way and cover it this way, it'll be better for the plant for this and for sunlight. And so some stuff I just know, and it works, or something I just figure out when it works. So I don't know. I hope there's some connection there, though. I like to think so.
01:12:13
Speaker
I also know that there are some people in my family who have looked down on the idea of farming, growing, being on land. Like, oh, that's poor. That's beyond me now. We're not enslaved. And I was like, your connection to the land is not based on white people. And it shouldn't be rooted in the enslavement of your people. Before we got here, we were all growing. So we all had crops. We were all growing vegetables and fruits to eat. Yes. So you're not. Yeah.
01:12:39
Speaker
Yeah, no, that just reminds me of, yeah, a young person, something that just like, I feel like I always think about, it was just like a young person who I used to teach just like talking about like coming to America and being like, bro, like this is, it is very wild that you, you know, like, where I'm from, like, we could just like pull things like from trees and like,
01:13:04
Speaker
you know, like our land was more ours, but like here in America, like you just can't, you know, you don't have the space or the authority to just be growing shit. And like that was something me and Shelly were thinking about even just recently because we were talking about like wanting to plant like a lemon tree or something in front of our grandmother's house and just like, I don't know, just like all of the extra sort of whatever.
01:13:31
Speaker
gotta call the fucking city and ask for permission to like use a particular and it's like it's also like oh like the spacing because it's like their yard and then like the sidewalk and then the other side of the sidewalk belongs to the city so like it's also just like i don't know just like the the weird
01:13:53
Speaker
just situational bullshit around what actually belongs to us. But I definitely appreciate what you said about our connections to the land. Don't gotta be tied up in white people's bullshit. I am so mad because I was looking. Some people don't know, but I almost bought a house earlier this year. That was a whole talk.
01:14:14
Speaker
I almost bought a house. That was a crazy update. I had found an agent and I almost bought a house. And I didn't buy it for a couple of reasons. But one of the things I realized was that I really wanted to have fruit trees. I want a homestead, but I want a homestead that's not like
01:14:34
Speaker
fully like I'm living off of it because I'm not that kind of girl. I still want chips, bitch. I still want chicken strips. Like, I don't know what to tell y'all. I'm not killing my own chicken or fucking that nigga. Sorry, just not that kind of girl.
01:14:47
Speaker
But I was like, I really do want, I want apple trees, I want figs, I want pears. I said I wanted a lemon tree too, like a lemon tree or oranges. And I'm like, also the climate where we're from, where I'm from, where me and Bre are from. Well, shit, look, the niggas in the South get it. We can grow a lot of different fruits in the South because of the climate. So we can grow things like apples or even oranges and some citrus fruits because we have the climate for that.
01:15:15
Speaker
And up here, I'm gonna know if you don't have them. Then I was like, you don't have land to grow that shit here either. Like, even if I, like, I can't, people do grow lemon trees and stuff up here, but it's hard, I would think. And I was also like, I don't see very many of them. So yeah, I was like, I'm, I'm ready to own land that I don't have to answer to anybody to because bitch is mine. So if I want to put a greenhouse in my backyard and give you two planters and then turn around and give you four, four fruit trees on the side with whatever fruit, I want to be able to do that. And yeah.
01:15:45
Speaker
It's a struggle, because then I had to give a dream up for now, because I'm still in Connecticut. We're going to figure it out, though. I want that for us. Black homesteaded.
01:15:56
Speaker
Um, yeah, that was my last question. I think we're getting ready to wrap up, hopefully in a timely manner. Um, I don't know. I don't know how we want to end, how we want to end things. I don't know. This was great. I feel like we did a great job. Yeah. This episode was very cut, but like,
01:16:19
Speaker
Look at that. Amazing. You didn't have the voice to the entire congregation. You could have kept it. I'm saying, I don't know how we want to wrap up, but, you know, thoughts, feelings. Like your last thoughts. From other people.
01:16:37
Speaker
you know churches they just start playing uh exit song music for you to leave yes that's why we're here like second you know in New Orleans they play a song people know to leave and you dance on out yes what do we need to do dance that way on out of this door um it's been great it's been a blessing i'm very happy that we set the intention at the beginning of this to Tyrell specifically say we
01:17:02
Speaker
you know, let's get a little bit more personal. Let's chitchat. Let's do the thing. And I really appreciate that intention of us showing up as ourselves, showing up for one another, being able to talk about some things that maybe we talk about on the outside of here, but like bringing it in because we don't really have to have this really thick wall of like, that's outside of here and that's in here. But, you know, we were able to bring that into the space. So I'm appreciative of that.
01:17:32
Speaker
And that is my closeout. Also, y'all need to subscribe and shit. Please follow us. Please support us. We'll do this. We'll do this more often. I'm not going to hold y'all. I looked to y'all the last time we got the podcast was January, 2024. At the top of the year, we haven't recorded anything since.
01:17:55
Speaker
This is just in time for pride. Oh, we should have did a pride episode. We could have missed one, missed one. Time for the homo sexy. Time for the homo sexy. OK, well, that'll be the next episode, everybody. Let's get excited. Time for the homo sexy. Time for the homo mosty. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Podcast Challenges and Documentary Updates
01:18:16
Speaker
I'm like, I'm like, we can start her prior episode, but like, yeah, no, I'm like, I looked almost like the last episode was January. I'm like, I also will say that it's really okay. Like it's hard to keep this shit going. People are busy. The girls happen. The girls are struggling. Okay. We have a lot going on. It's just, it's a lot. Shelly, oh, Bria.
01:18:36
Speaker
All right, let's people are like represented people are like doing an in distress in in writer lead distress. Right. You know, do you want to get that? Look, I want to book now publish that shit. Chop Chop as would I. But anyway, it's hard trying to keep up like this together. And like, especially when like everybody has such a robust and like,
01:19:00
Speaker
thriving, like career lives, career changes, like moving. It's always something happened with three of us and it never fails. It never fails. But we're doing it for y'all. Also, while we're on period, I can say that I know for sure that the QL exclusive, if you will, for the 80-y'all to listen, the five-y'all to listen, the two-y'all to listen. I don't know how many of us is left. But what I do know is that
01:19:26
Speaker
the documentary should be out in the middle of June. Oh, bitch. Why didn't I know? What? Nobody knew. I'm just telling y'all there are 50 people out there. Oh, my god. OK, so. I'm going through it now. I finally had time to edit, and I'm hoping that. So where are we doing the premiere? Like, we should do. I'm actually not having one. I don't have the money to fund it. And I'm also, I got stuff on the ground right now. So to try, like, I couldn't.
01:19:53
Speaker
if somebody wants to put something together. I'm going to revisit because I'm like, can we just rent a screen? Like, how much money is that? I think that would be very sweet. But yeah, if it's up to me, I don't have I'm gonna I'm gonna see what I don't. Yeah, this this is this is.
01:20:17
Speaker
And I know the folks, because Shelly also obviously participated. So I know that the folks who participated would definitely get to see. I wanted to watch it together, but if I can't, they'll definitely get their link to be able to see what it turned out to be. Because everybody who participated definitely deserves and is owed that. But if it's up to plan something and have to travel and put stuff, yeah.
01:20:41
Speaker
But I did want to have one, but I will say that it should be out at the end. I mean, sorry, around like the middle, maybe the end of Pride Month, but I think it'll be done because I'm editing. I'm making edits and notes now. We love it. Also, it's hour and 45 minutes, Shelly, and it's fucking delicious. It's actually really good. I'm excited. I'm very excited. It's really good. I thought that it was going to be
01:21:02
Speaker
a mess. Not a mess. Well, not because any of us are bad, but because I was just like, it's my first time there's something like this ever. Like who knew? Tyrell Filmmaker era. Yeah. Filmmaker gardeners. Creative paintings. I had one opportunity and this is probably the only one that I would get because
01:21:21
Speaker
Um, no, there are other things. Okay. We'll have to revisit. Okay. Tyrell has written another short film and you know, we going to get this out there. And if anybody got their pockets, you know, open open their purse. Open your purse. If you are white, open your fucking wallet, bitch. If you are white,
01:21:48
Speaker
You haven't seen that scene? Yes. You want to be down in your purse for the dollars, dollars, dollars, dollars. Yes. We love that. Well, I'm excited. We're getting the movie. We're getting a Pride episode. We're going to get y'all to donate some money so we can do a screening and, you know, Tyrell can make another movie.
01:22:15
Speaker
And we're getting all of those things. We're speaking that into existence. Yeah, I don't have anything else besides it's been really great to be back here with my co-hosts shooting this shit. And yeah, I'm excited to talk more about gay shit next time. And yeah, y'all keep listening and tell other people. Yeah. Yeah, please keep listening for what we mean.
01:22:44
Speaker
Okay, thanks. Bye. Bye. That was gross.