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00:00:01
Men.. or Whateva.
10 Plays2 years ago
In the spirit of holding our community accountable, Ty, Bria, and Shelly tackle their most controversial topic yet.... Black Cis Men!
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thebussynexttime/messageRecommended
Transcript
Podcast Feedback and Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
one hello hello hello oh we're so professional you know we got a little bit of feedback from the girls about the beginning of our podcast being a little
00:00:20
Speaker
too rowdy for the children. And so we decided to come in and be a bit more professional. And we did that, so fuck y'all. So what's up, bitch? I just feel like you already know what it's giving, so like, you know where you sign up. Do you want to share the hand claps? Bitch, you know where I'm from. What's up?
00:00:49
Speaker
If you didn't dance in that moment and you're listening to this, you're a fader. Your fader. Oh, yes, exactly. Your fader.
00:01:02
Speaker
We are better version of yourself. So also, before we get into this, I think it's also funny because someone was like, ooh, y'all, you're like a theme song. Ellen, who the fuck got theme song money? Y'all singing it? Rachel got theme song money.
00:01:20
Speaker
Email us a soundbite or something. Yeah, that would be fun times. Someone was like, the read got a little, OK, the read probably also paid to use that. The read also has a budget. They get paid for that. They're doing something in Los Angeles in a couple of days or weeks or something. Or maybe it's like, they're doing Netflix or something is funny. They're working with Netflix now. And I was like, OK, we can't even get happy girls to listen to a whole episode.
00:01:48
Speaker
while we trying to get into it. The dedication, like what y'all can listen to us when you're in the car. When you're cleaning in the shower, while you're at the gym, you girls that work out, you work out girls. Okay, the walking girls who don't like to work out as much in the gym, AKA me, you could listen to it then. Word. Wow. Word. All right. So are we going to see our names and introduce ourselves? Or are we going to say fuck it? Cause you know what bitch, I'm almost like the girls that we ratchet, we can show you ratchet.
00:02:18
Speaker
We can show you ranching. Ooh, I can't. I'm trying. It's Ty. It's Bria. It's Shelly.
00:02:29
Speaker
And this is the boozy next time, bitches. These two are the intros of trash. They got an intros. I don't know. I don't know what they want. I don't know. What are we supposed to do? I don't know. It is Shelly. When would I ever say that any other time? Bro, you know me. I'm like, what's up, bitch? What's up? What's up? What's up? My girl, what's up? What's a giving? What you want? What is a giving, in fact, Tara?
00:02:56
Speaker
Um, so I decided to do a very cute, special topic for me.
Communication and Relationships
00:03:04
Speaker
The topic is mensuses. Um, man, in case y'all missed that. So I had been wanting to have this conversation for a while. And originally it was scheduled for last year, but y'all know the girls were in demand last year. We couldn't, we couldn't, right. We were doing lots of things.
00:03:20
Speaker
Right. Bitch, I'm busy. In case y'all don't know who that is, that's Priyanka of the winner of Canada Drag Weight Season 1. And then she got a song called, I think it's called Bitch, I'm Busy or I'm Busy. And it's real cute. It's a real cute bop for you girls who like to give it to the gay music. Y'all. That's what you should be working on. I'm gonna say it's up in the house. But you girls don't want to. Oh my god.
00:03:47
Speaker
And to you girls, I want to get into that. It's a real Q-bop. But no, I had wanted to have this conversation last year. And I was like, there are things I had also been wanting. I've had the streams of consciousness about when it comes to my experiences with men and talking about men. And I'm just feeling like it's time to have that discussion. I think we have a strong enough cast.
00:04:13
Speaker
Yes, y'all, we're a cast. We have a strong enough group of co-hosts to really dig into some of this shit. So I know everybody on this call has probably dated or dealt with a man. It's the silence after Mike.
00:04:31
Speaker
I just don't know what it's doing. Y'all can't see it, but Rhea's face was like... No, I was waiting for like, I was like, and... Yeah, and so I kind of wanted to start with like, maybe like...
00:04:50
Speaker
Blessings you, we may have learned from engaging with men. And I think that this is not just dating, but I think we can get into the realm of experience. So one of the things I was thinking about when I thought about this topic originally, in relation to dating, is this conversation about men not having the ability to communicate and what it looks like to be dating people who can't name what they want.
00:05:19
Speaker
And I was like, in my very cute experience, because of the men that I have chosen to engage with, they never name it, they like me. But they do name it, they want to eat my ass. And sometimes they won't name it though, they'll act in a certain way that lets me know. So I think I talked about this on a podcast before too, where I was like, the girls, the straight men, and the men who don't know who they are, love to come to my front door and say, hey, I think you're cute. I don't know what this is, but let's engage.
00:05:47
Speaker
But it's not a form of engagement where it's necessarily spoken. It's just it is what it is. And for some girls who like that shit, I ain't that kind of girl. So I guess my question to my co-host, so we can start, is what are some experiences you've had in which you have learned lessons like that from the mensuses, from men, right? So I guess my lessons to take from that would be, girl, stop talking to straight men because it's ghetto.
00:06:17
Speaker
And I've been out since I was like 12, girl, we talk, we 29. It's really giving, it's really giving 17 years of fuckery for me. Like, you know better, you know better. And to be clear, y'all, I don't date, I don't talk to a game of the straights and I don't know who I am now, but I did before. Okay, so one thing that I can think of that I,
00:06:45
Speaker
learned was just feeling like it's not too much and I'm not too much to be asking for reciprocation. And I feel like because I was raised by so many Black femmes that are like, they'll be alright. I could do this on my own.
00:07:06
Speaker
that I ended up having that mentality. And a lot of them are in relationships, have been in relationships, and will be like, oh, I'll do that on my own while being in the relationship. And I'm like, I ended up adopting that energy of like, you don't got to do much. I'll be all right, because I could just handle it on my own. And now I'm like, no, I don't want to handle it on my own. Fuck out of here. I want reciprocation. And yes, I can take myself on a date with you. You take me out. Yes, I can do this thing. I can pay my bills. I can do all of this.
00:07:36
Speaker
You run me my coin. I want that. So yeah, that's when I stopped with the whole like, I got to do it all. And then like, you know, I'm not going to ask for too much because I realized in not asking for too much, I wasn't getting too much. So I was like, LOL. Don't like it here. Don't love it here. Don't want it here. So my lesson is I deserve reciprocation.
00:08:03
Speaker
Wow. And I deserve to be loved how I love myself. That means a lot in talking to me. The hyper independence is really what's taking for me. What you got, Bria?
00:08:13
Speaker
um i don't know if i have like one overarching thing that's standing out i feel like what i sort of like coming from what you were saying uh shelly it's reminding me of just like i don't know just like seeing other people um like older um like relatives in my life and like seeing the different ways that the women
00:08:37
Speaker
um in my life move in their relationships with men really very much informed things for me from like a young age like i don't know like i i remember like having
00:08:51
Speaker
these sort of conversations with my dad where he would talk about like making sure that I could rely on myself and whatever and like do whatever and I'm like okay those things are all well and good and then like seeing you know the ways that you know my parents treat each other or like seeing the ways that you know um my aunts and uncles move in their relationships or whatever um seeing the ways that I don't know like
00:09:17
Speaker
friends and other associates move because everybody and their mama get married now. Girl, you gotta move in the way. You know? I just want to wear cute outfits at the wedding. Thank you. But marry me. Just say, not smashing it out of the universe. Marry me.
00:09:38
Speaker
but not in the stupid shoes. And I think, I don't know, maybe like the big thing I've learned is really just like watching in the ways, I don't know, just like learning from the relationships of the people that are around you and sort of like learning what's, what like you do and don't want. And I feel like that's, that's just like, I don't know, since I was a kid, those things have been like eye opening for me. And yeah, and just like really learning about like,
00:10:07
Speaker
not wanting to make myself smaller in situations
Independence and Self-reliance
00:10:11
Speaker
just because you're in sort of a lifelong partnership or whatever. Y'all better be dragging my wig right away. I'll just kick it off. Throw it off and put it on the sand. I say that because my parents, I feel like what we're talking about, right? Because I can say the same thing, like my mother.
00:10:37
Speaker
my grandmother, I think a couple of my aunts have always been hyper independent because the men around them when they've interacted with them have never been like have never had the rage. And I feel like older generations set that up as like a what's there's like a word for it where like men will pretend to like be helpless helpless about things. Oh, is it not trifling? Not no, it's like, I mean, yes.
00:11:02
Speaker
because I've never heard anybody who's not a Black person say the word trifling in my life. But there is like a word for like, I don't know, like the ways that men socialize to basically like pretend like they don't know how to do a thing. Like, you know,
00:11:23
Speaker
doing stuff like household tasks or like managing a thing or like whatever to the point that women end up are also socialized to like step in and like just do it for them because it's seen as like easier. What I learned from dynamics of my grandparents is I watched my grandmother
00:11:46
Speaker
literally have the capacity to do all the things and not do it. And I used to love watching her just create the boundary of it. Like, she would make the meal, she could give plates to her grandkids, she would just be chilling. Once her husband acts up for a plate, no, you'll get up and get it yourself. And I'm like, yes, as you said, you better reclaim your image. I love watching grandma be like that.
00:12:16
Speaker
Like I also have thought of like, like, like, I think, so part of it is watching my peoples, right? Like, cause I, okay, let's get into it for real for real because someone recently called me spoiled. A couple of y'all did, but you know who you are. Could y'all listen to the podcast? And we're also home girls. I'm talking to you motherfuckers. Call me spoiled because they were like, ooh, girl, you're the, like, like, essentially the conversation was, was saying that like, I am,
00:12:44
Speaker
If I don't get what I want, I go out and get it myself. If I don't get what I want, I got to throw a fit, which means that for me, it means I go out and purchase it for myself because y'all bitches can't afford it. But that's what it means. And so my friend was like, that's spoiled. I look at your behavior. I look at how you move. And I was like, there is no nigga who's ever going to make me feel like if I ask you for something and you say no, I just don't have it.
00:13:05
Speaker
And I think that also comes from like, oh God, but also comes from like some childhood trauma around like my father specifically. And then I think like, I would argue with a couple uncles too, like how they showed up, but like from that moment on, I would, there would never be a man that'll never, if I say I want something, I'm like, Oh babe, can you get this log? I got it. Don't worry about it.
00:13:22
Speaker
All the bags I purchased belong to me. The apartment that I live in is mine. The couch, the bed, all this nice ass, all the shit in here. Right. I bought it. It all belongs to me. You heard Monica. My favorite part is like, you don't gotta work. That'll do it. You don't have to worry about it. What is that like though? You don't have to do it. But what is that like? And maybe it's because I'm out here.
00:13:47
Speaker
I'm not dating, and I will argue and say, I fluctuate a lot, but I don't think I'm open to it. And honestly, if you want to really get into it, I don't want to get married either. I don't think I want marriage. Eat my coochie and go home.
00:14:03
Speaker
Is that? I mean, you could do a Oprah Stenman thing. Uh-uh, could Stenman live on a property? No. I was just saying, because Oprah, like, being on the property is like, the property is so big. Like, he's at least three blocks away, I'm sure. Stenman lives in the same building. Like, Oprah and Gayle are like in one part of the property. And he's like on the west end.
00:14:30
Speaker
on the west campus. Like, girl, is there a stand-in toilet? I think he's on his way over here. Lock the doors. Lock the doors. Close the window sheds. Y'all be like, I'll see you later, because I can't. You let me know where he go, girl. I'll be over here. Oh, my god. In the north wing. I mean, you also sound like the meme that they have for caps, where they're just like, when caps come home and immediately somebody starts talking to them, you're like,
00:14:56
Speaker
Why are you talking to? It's like why is there another person living in my house right now? I think it's because just like
00:15:10
Speaker
the feeling of a release of like going into a home and earth signs just really loves like homes and homes feeling like detached from that out that like the other world aka other energies is nothing gets the partnership is just the idea that like when I still have to be engaging in something. Like I feel like I can do the shit I can talk the shit I can do the things all day long but like when I click off his laptop
00:15:35
Speaker
My work laptop, and I click off that work phone, and I'm done. I am done. I am deep breathing. I am in my apartment. I am feeling my jush. It's decorated that I wanted to be decorated for the most part. Like, it's just giving. I'm on my couch. I'm lounging. I'm eating snacks. I'm getting into my space. If you are another person who is here, I don't know if I want that. And you know what? I will say that I think about this in relation to men specifically, too, because I'd be like,
00:16:05
Speaker
Ugh, okay, sometimes for me the way that men be showing up, it gives me a lot. And I have managed to, for I would say 70% of the people I've interacted with have been like more masculine of center folks. And I'm just like, no, your energy is giving me a lot. It's real rough. It's rugged. And I want to be soft and dainty cause I'm a delicate woman. Like I need you to get, I need you to treat me like the flower that I am. And like you're giving me too much without, and you're like, you're giving too much and you're not giving enough.
00:16:34
Speaker
Cause to give enough would be like your ass to go home. Like you wouldn't have been here in the first place. Which I could argue and be saying it's like a thing of like, even like, I think maybe a good thing of like attachment style or something. And I think that could be a discussion or like a situation. I don't remember. I don't think I've ever looked at my attachment style because why? I feel like I have, but I always forget actually. I've looked at it and I feel like I just need to
00:17:00
Speaker
talk it through with somebody else because the way that they gave me a result the first time and I was like hmm maybe that is accurate started walking around like maybe I am secure here we go do do do do do do do do do walking through life like yeah I got a secure attachment and I was like and then my friends were like we should all take it again and I take it again and I was like
00:17:27
Speaker
No change. So I don't think it's something I should do like on my own and like it gave me different results and not be able to process that. So definitely giving sis needs a new therapist. Right. Let's have a conversation about how we made it from point A to this because how we make I mean, repaired from that. Um, so I think
00:17:55
Speaker
Uh, regardless of gears a bit, because I also feel like part of this conversation I was thinking about when it came to the men's, um, is these, okay, I don't know. Okay. I know. So we have dragged some of the people's faves on this podcast a couple of times.
00:18:11
Speaker
What, like, famous men? Girl. But I just want to know what the fuck they're drinking. What are they eating? Like, what is the energy giving? Are we? When your fabulous is, your nauseous, with your Chris Brown's, with your Dave Chappelle's. And I need someone to tell me, like, what they're on. The Kanye West. The Kanye West. The main thing is that I think the issue that I've experienced, and, like, I'm over here, like, unfortunately, unfortunately, being in spaces with a hetero system.
00:18:41
Speaker
Because they really be seeing me as their bro and shit. And I'd be like, I'm not that bitch. I'd be in a room with y'all arguing with y'all. And I think what it is is that many of them end up in spaces that affirm the fuck shit that they think is acceptable. And then they just keep perpetuating it. Black male podcast is literally what that is. Exactly. So the people we just named, they are a representation of the niggas who back them in the group circle.
00:19:10
Speaker
I saw niggas I saw niggas complaining again about like, discussing the fucking future Sierra Russell Wilson thing once again in the year of our Lord 2022. And it is because a pop like a podcast nigga brought it up on like,
00:19:28
Speaker
And it just like circulated again. I'm going to be very, very fucking clear. And I just feel like, if y'all want to suck Future's dick, just like be on that. Just say, let's go do it. Let's do that. And the thing is, they keep putting that in some rap songs every now and then, because at one point, we started pointing out how many rap songs say some really gay shit. And they're also extremely homophobic. And Biggie said, you look so good, I will both suck your daddy dick. What the fuck is wrong with these niggas? What happened?
00:19:58
Speaker
He said, you look so good. Make me want to go suck your daddy dick. That's what Biggie said. In what context? In what song? Is that not? I don't even know what song it was. I'm going to google it, and I'm going to let y'all know the exact song. So we talked about this one, insecure. Me and Brie were watching insecure.
00:20:23
Speaker
We were talking about Black men who have shit friends, because of Laura's. I was like, you, niggas. And it's not this chat. All of y'all seem like y'all are raggedy. In some way, y'all just don't be. I feel like a lot of the time, niggas definitely affirm each other's raggedy feelings. And it just becomes those sorts of niggas that perpetuate those ideas definitely have a bunch of other yes niggas in their corner that are
00:20:54
Speaker
affirming those things and not calling them out on anything. And I'm just like, y'all need better friends. I'm like, who be sitting beside Chris Brown and being like, yeah, yeah, bro. Go start the Ruchy Actors. People don't like just want to be in this space. Or like, niggas who was looking at Diddy and was like, that's right, Diddy. Keep filling up those careers and keep running your mouth monkey virtues. Girl, no. Shut the fuck up. Put your phone down, girl. To this day, I'm really like, does Kanye really have friends? I don't know.
00:21:22
Speaker
Oh, who would they be? I feel like friends are proximity to the work that he's doing and maybe he calls them friends, but they're the people who he does his creative things with. Because if you're only friends with the people you make money with, to an extent. I just can't imagine. That's the thing that's so weird is when you look at so many of them, it's just like, wow.
00:21:47
Speaker
I really cannot imagine what a friendship with you is like because I can't imagine you having to have a conversation through your arrogance.
Fame, Power, and Relationships
00:21:58
Speaker
I literally cannot imagine that you are a person that I would want to have a conversation with.
00:22:04
Speaker
Steven Jay, is that you? I literally just thought about Steven Jay. Like when he was on the read podcast and they had to shoot him out. That was the worst. I have never laughed at him. They shoot him out? Girl, because he came in on some rah rah shit and Crystal and Kim were like, what is it giving them?
00:22:25
Speaker
And then at one point, he was like, OK, that's CBJ, y'all. Thank you so much. But it was a similar situation when I think, because I remember they had Charlamagne the God on the podcast at one point. And the girls were like, why is he here? And I think that's what Crystal had. Crystal was like, I think that he was thinking I'm his friend. But we cool, and he gave me a check. But that's not my homegirl.
00:22:54
Speaker
And I think yeah, and I think they started like walking back their you know, support and like interactivity to him. But I also feel like I would have never interacted like, and I've been thinking about that too, right? As a bitch who sees the way these niggas, like it is, if I, if I were to become one of the girls, like one of the famous, you know, I'd be like, you can write me a check.
00:23:12
Speaker
but I'm not. Don't even talk to me. If you are the following 50 niggas, don't even have to say, you can't come in the studio with me. Don't bring me over here. I don't need that energy. I think that's the thing that really gets me about all of these conversations or all of these spaces at their end when their names keep getting butt, if they still keep being in places. And I'm like,
00:23:35
Speaker
Why? I just forget that y'all are there all together. Don't invite me to a party where you know it's a bunch of people I don't want to talk to. And I think all of their views are problematic. If I am spinning for a party, don't ask me to play. All the niggas I think are problematic. That's not how I'm thinking. So I'm not going to. And even if they're there right in front of me, I'm not playing their shit because fuck them. They're not getting a spin or recognition out of me. Can you imagine going to a party where
00:24:08
Speaker
where, like, Future is at. And, like, the girls are like, oh, I haven't heard a Future song yet. And you won't tonight. You, I don't know, fuck them niggas in the crowd. I don't go fuck who is here. You'll never hear a Future song out of me. Because they shouldn't have booked me, so I don't know. And that's the thing, like, don't book me because somebody, somebody asked me one time. I feel like you could have played Chris Brown. And I was like, I'm not playing any of them. And that's what you wanted. You should have listened to somebody else's party. I'm not playing.
00:24:37
Speaker
Or I said their initials, because I'm like, I'm not even going to let y'all know. But I was like, I was like, I literally don't play abusers. I don't play anybody. Like, I literally don't play abusers of all different, like, all of the levels of abuse and violence. Like, I don't play them. And I'm just like, that's just not going to happen, because y'all want to listen to them so badly in this public space where you can listen to that shit at your house. All right. I'm going to put people in the public space.
00:25:05
Speaker
I'm going to uplift people in a public space that are usually being demonized or being marginalized because of these fuck niggas. I also think it's interesting. So I had went to a particular situation in Connecticut a couple of years ago, and it got a little rowdy and the girls got a little saucy because somebody was like, because at the time, that's why it was playing like Michael Jackson.
00:25:33
Speaker
And this is around the time, I think, where like the, was it the book, something came out. It was like a documentary. Yeah, the documentary. And the girls were like up in arms. And I was like, even if there's a cop, I'm about to get into whether or not what I feel, what I think, that ain't important. The reality is that the allegations on the table are enough for me to question whether or not I actually this person at this party. And so somebody played a MJ Chris Brown mix
00:26:05
Speaker
And someone was like, I feel like you tried to antagonize folks in the space, not realizing that this is a bit like this. And it was a slogan that people were using for the party at the time that kind of spoke to this. And the person was like, why would you do that?
00:26:21
Speaker
And then there was another, a bigger conversation where somebody, when another person in the crowd was like, well, and that was the DJ, the DJ was like, well, like the person's music, like the artists feel like different from their actions. And I'm like, it's not. Y'all don't see black women like that. Y'all don't see anybody else like that. Girl, we talk for Sam and Michelle to fuck off over, we ain't seen it. Yo, we did.
00:26:43
Speaker
We really did. I think I've seen that she's getting bookied and stuff again after because she went on the Terrell show and like he talked to her and she was like, yeah, I fucked up. But like she was like, I thought I was doing the right thing. And I genuinely feel like Chrisat Michelle believes she was doing the right thing. Yeah, she did. And that's the thing.
00:27:05
Speaker
The thing that got me about Chrisette, I'm not going to completely drag her, but the thing that got me is that everyone was backing her. Like everyone who was like, yo, like we will, if y'all need gigs and stuff, I think they started being like, yo, we have these alternatives. Y'all don't have to go that route. Anybody who wants to do Super Bowl, don't do it. We have this over here. Anybody who wants to do this, don't do it. Don't go to the White House. Just don't do it.
00:27:32
Speaker
And if you're doing it and it's not about the check, then that is your integrity. And that's what you feel inside of it. But if you're doing it for the check and then somebody goes, the check is over here, like chill out. Like don't go do that. Then you should go that way. But the fact that she's still with that way, that's what I'd be like, nah. She does believe that should hurt her spirit. Because sis, you could perform anywhere. You'll be fine. Go to Essence.
00:28:03
Speaker
But like, I was like, I'm also like the girls that cancel Isaiah Banks, the girls that have canceled like their other black women, Monique, bitch, Monique and Lee Daniels just gave that funky ass, fake ass apology about how he's sorry to her. And I'm like, you get, you put,
00:28:19
Speaker
Precious came out in I think in 2008, 2009. We are in 2022. You have put this woman through hell and fucked up her career. You and Oprah, bitch, we talking to you with your billionaire raggedy ass.
00:28:33
Speaker
with Stemming in the West Campus. Girl. That you're walking, talking once a month. And Tiana Perrio trifling it. Like, girl, I can't. Like, I am just like the way that black men get this grace to just, and not specifically talking about black men right now at this moment, because we are all black folks, and so our interactions with black culture and black people, for the most part. I feel like when a bitch is not at work, and I don't have to talk to white people, I don't. The niggas I work with are black.
00:29:03
Speaker
And I feel like the the ways that that happens, like that sort of that they sort of get excluded from accountability or whatever is because like those men, you know, reach a point where they're able to, although it doesn't necessarily work exactly, but they reach for being able to be treated like, you know,
00:29:28
Speaker
powerful white man. Yeah. And you know what? Can we, oh, the theory that I've, you said white. Oh, I just said throw it out. It's gross because I have so many things to say about black men and the proximity to white people. And I'm just like, just whiteness.
00:29:45
Speaker
It's like the proximity is actually disgusting. And I just want to reference, I just want to reference one black man that I dragged a lot at one point and I'm not going to ever like take it back because I'm like, this is actually filthy and disgusting. Wait, who do you know? Ice Cube decided that he
00:30:03
Speaker
All of these things that were gonna be revolutionary to Black people and Black people would never have any access to do it any other way except for to team up with this business plan and fucking the nasty orange Cheeto man put it together and then everything he was saying was like, oh, like
00:30:21
Speaker
We can't act like money doesn't get us where we want to be. And money would make them see us in a better light. He said something. He kept referencing them. I'm like, you and your proximity to whiteness is so disgusting to me that I literally want to walk up with you and square the fuck up, and it won't be a good day for you. So the song will be okay. You're really gay.
00:30:42
Speaker
Like, it's giving, it's literally giving, like, please put this coin in my pocket just so that they can look my way. And I'm like, I don't want them to look my way. I actually hate when they look my way. Because then they usually start walking closer and try to touch my hair. And now I want to fight. Actually, don't look my way. Don't. Don't. I hate Black capitalism. The way that we drive. Did he ever come back from that?
00:31:05
Speaker
I don't think so. The last I heard about Ice Cube, he was complaining about not having any sort of power in the Friday franchise anymore.
00:31:20
Speaker
Because he wanted to like, he wanted to like, he wanted, he wanted to do like a redo or a remake of Friday. I don't even know. I wouldn't blame him. Chris, Chris, Chris said he would never do for, I don't, I don't know if that was.
00:31:38
Speaker
But I think Ice Cube wanted to, I think Ice Cube wanted to redo it with like his son or something or something. I think he did, I think he did want O'Shea to do something. But he doesn't have the power to make that. So he was like complaining about the white man. Okay. Well, I'm gonna, cause I can't, but cause I can't with Ice Cube, Ice Cube-ish, I'm done.
00:32:03
Speaker
But no, one of the theories that I've been talking about too, that I've written about a little bit in academia, is the fact that like, so this, so I don't know why it was so mind blowing to me, but I was like, well to other people when I shared it, but I was like, black men treat black women a certain way. And then black queer men and black gay men then treat other black queer folks who are not men the same way.
00:32:32
Speaker
And even some who are femme will also get treated the same way. Some femme Black women will also get treated that way. And I remember, like, so like the power dynamic, right, between Black men and Black women. I remember having this... Because you said the same and I'm like,
00:32:54
Speaker
One of the things that I used to talk about right was how black women would get dragged by black men for being too difficult into whatever like too much too rude too difficult for not being malleable enough.
00:33:08
Speaker
Black queer gay men will say the same things about other black queer gay men, and then other queer people in general. Like, you know how many black gay men who have been like, oh, black queer men are like, oh, I like you, but like, you're me, or like, you're too difficult, and you want too much, or like, you do too much. You're too much. And I'm like, am I too much, or are you not enough? You're not enough. I'm too much, or can you not compete where you don't compare?
00:33:30
Speaker
Honestly, doing too much is one of my favorite songs ever. Y'all should get into it. I think it's Dream Dog. It's like, bitch, why you complaining that I'm doing too much? Why? Because you ain't doing enough. Never. I know that song. Or like, I used to have a conversation. I used to talk about all the time how like,
00:33:48
Speaker
black men have to have like the like the colorism conversation, right? Like how black straight men will talk about some black girl we can how some black cis hat men will use white women and whiteness as a proximity to like social status and like standing and how they'll have black wives when they start one way and then end with white, you know, with white people or whatever in the end. And I was like black queer folks have also done that.
00:34:11
Speaker
Yes. There's so many Black queer folks that I see with women. Some of my favorite musicians have all had, either have white partners, my favorite Black queer musicians either have white partners, have white partners or only date white people. I remember us dragging the fuck out of time with the creative when he did or didn't come out. I'm so unclear about that. He did. I'm gonna call one of the girls. When he came out,
00:34:39
Speaker
And we had an interview that came out. I was like, yeah, I was like, white boys. I was like, other boys. I was like, white boys. Because white boys do this, that girl. And it was like, oh, interviews. And I was like, oh, and then I remember the girl dragging Frank Ocean, Lord. And we ain't never even seen that nigga party. We don't even know who's to take it. Frank learned, because he keep that business. I did know this one guy, then he did it. Right, he did the like. He has a long hair. And the girl's dragging was like, we don't understand. Like, how did you end up here? And then I was like.
00:35:11
Speaker
I was like, I don't know how he got there either, but I see the pushback. And I remember someone else being like, I've had discussions with other people where they were like, ooh, girl, interracial dating is fine, right? As long as it's not rooted in hatred of your own folk. But I feel like so many people be rooted in the anti-blackness, anti-fatness, all the pieces of the puzzle that contribute to an experience. I don't think that it's never, I don't think that people are giving a really full thorough
00:35:42
Speaker
uh overview of like their politics and why they end up being a human identity especially when it comes to like black queer men like i'm still having discussions with niggas about like fat people can also have how can have sex oh my it's a revolution fat people can i can have sex bitch you right i can i can top i can bottom i can do it all girl i can eat it i can ski it i can beat it i can do what i want girl i can do everything but it's the fact that i'm so happy or like people are being like oh i don't know what your gender what your gender is and i don't know who attracted to you what you mean as what my genitals are
00:36:11
Speaker
That's what you want to ask. But I get these questions not from other black queer folks or trans people. I get it from black cis men who are trying to figure out what box with me and how to navigate that. Right. So I'm like. Oh, I feel like these are also discussions that black women are having. Yeah. About black men. I was going to say to the point of like.
00:36:32
Speaker
when you're talking about like, Oh, wait, hold on. I'm like, tell you, did that make sense? Did you get the theory? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you. I've been, I've got to make sure it clicks. It's marinating and I will have something. Don't drag me. I'm just real quick. I think about it too. Cause I was like, yes. Right. Like they are men, right? These are all black. Essentially everybody owns the men I'm talking about in the pool. I'm just, they're all just men. They're just.
00:36:56
Speaker
a general term like black men. But you have to think about the way masculinity works too, right? And that for us, the harder you see, the more masculine. Like, you know, masculinity is a hierarchy for black men in the black community, right? So like the more masculine traits you take on, the more of a man you are, the less masculine you are, the less of a man you are, right? To put it like layman's terms. And so I'm thinking about like how that stratification also depends on like what this,
00:37:24
Speaker
what this looks like, I'm so done with these niggas. What this looks like when you are thinking about this theory of who's treated why and how black men would read it, like how they all would like read unfortunately, especially again, black queer and gay men. So I'm hoping that they gave a bit more context as like how I thought about this.
00:37:48
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Yes. Brie, do your thing. Um, no, I was just gonna say that that made me think about, so I have not started this season of Atlanta, but I have seen the girls talking about, um, one Donald Glover because, because he like,
00:38:12
Speaker
did an interview with himself. Was Childish interviewing Donald? It's just Donald Glover interviewing Donald Glover, no. Why wouldn't he do Childish and Donald? Because that's something I might tune into. Exactly. That could have been interesting, but he would not do that.
00:38:31
Speaker
um and it's kind of very weird um he's like he mentions like cancel culture he like talks to himself and he's like what do you think of cancel culture and he's like yeah can we not and he's just like blah blah blah
00:38:47
Speaker
And I do remember one of the questions, okay, I found it. So conversation he's having with himself, he's both sides. Are you afraid of Black women? Why are you asking me that? I feel like your relationship to them has played a big part in your narrative. I feel like you're using Black women to question my Blackness.
00:39:15
Speaker
And many of the girls have been dragging because they're just like, why did black women even come up? And you're asking the questions yourself, Miss Girl, like this isn't like a thing that you had to do. And so I don't know, like, I feel like he was trying to do a thing to like be smart or artsy or whatever.
00:39:42
Speaker
Yes. It has become more of a conversation where it's like, why are like certain black men, especially like, I think, you know, black men definitely like deal with this thing where they like what you said, they go into maybe like interracial relationships, or they have whatever like tension in relationship to black women. And they're like, I don't know, like they're using that as a sort of like,
00:40:12
Speaker
you know, what is rooted in their relationship with like white women or whatever. so it's just like, girl, you didn't have it.
00:40:20
Speaker
You really didn't. All of it was a choice. I'm going to remember what I'm saying, but Brianna, I don't know if you're still talking. I'm going to remember it. No. I was just saying that that's what came up in what I was thinking about. You know what I think is funny? Why are Black women coming up in the conversation at all? Just make your shit. Make your shit mind your business. And we also don't act to be in these spaces that we're inserted in. And I think the conversations
00:40:50
Speaker
just very similar to what he's saying, is how these niggas are having conversations. They're talking to themselves in the fucking mirror, bringing up things to themselves, affirming whatever the fuck they think makes sense, and they don't have other people that they're allowing to drag them for shit that doesn't make any fucking sense because you thought that through, Donald. Then you went to a space to which you documented it, Donald.
00:41:13
Speaker
And then after that, you then put it in a space publicly for other people to see us to have none of that fucking make sense to then center or even put us put our names in your mouth. Like, let's go back to the original. Why is my name in your mouth? Like, what is like, why are you doing that? But I think the reason
00:41:32
Speaker
how it can be very easy for folks to be in relationships with white people is because the conversations that they're having about blackness will be affirming if the white person is anti-black too. Like you're gonna be in spaces, especially if you're with a white woman, you're gonna be in spaces with a woman who has privilege over black women. So obviously you're gonna be moving and you also are gonna
00:41:57
Speaker
bring your privilege together and both of y'all are going to be echoing and reflecting to one another and affirming one another's fuck shit because that is the space that y'all are in. Y'all are in a quote unquote sacred space of a relationship and that is what that's what the fuck is going to be okay because when you come home and you have something to complain about or to talk about that white person is going to affirm how you're feeling because
00:42:20
Speaker
y'all are partners. And that's the reason why I know I can't be with a white person, because the things that happen at my house, as for me in my house and my Black-ass culture, I cannot imagine a white person seeing it. I can't imagine a white person coming to my house, being in the same room as my altar, and me literally not saging the house for at least two weeks. I... Uh-huh.
00:42:47
Speaker
I'm also interested in this conversation a little bit. So I think when I do a parallel comparison between Black women and other, I think particularly in my case, Black trans folks' experiences, and speaking for myself, my trans experience, people are like, oh, you're erasing Black women. And I'm not saying that the experiences that we share don't diverge. But I'm saying at some points, they do parallel.
00:43:16
Speaker
Right? At some points, we do experience the same thing from Black men. Right. I mean, yeah, that is. And so it's like, because I'm thinking about this conversation now and the fact that as we're talking about it, I feel like there's like, I can't, for me, there's no writings. There's no articles. There's no proof to say what I'm saying is true.
00:43:42
Speaker
right except from the from the hearsay and the experiences of other black queer trans folks like there are no articles there are no writing there are no publishing to say hey uh a gender people or trans people or like non-binary people or genderqueer people who are also black and female experience the same thing at this rate or see this thing at this rate while dating while dating black men or dating men in general right and so i think that's the harder like what i'm thinking about right is like how has we've been talking i've been
00:44:07
Speaker
The parallel exists, but I just feel like I wish there were something I could root it in other than like, like pulling on my own experience and the experience of other people who are like, we've all had the experience, but like no one's talking about it, especially if you're not sis. But even on a grad school, you do want to read girl. And that's like my research topic for grass. That's the worst part is like this, but it's not as close to this, but it's not this. Um, and like, there's, you know, a little bit of just like,
00:44:37
Speaker
Even like talking about that, like talking about how you get pulled in and shit. Like, do you know how many times the queers get pulled in and shit? And we be buying our businesses. And Black man be like, oh girl, the queers are fucking up the nuclear family. Niggas, y'all fucking up because you're fucking alone. You fucking up when you're like, come back to your fucking bitches. That's you. I felt something the other day, because I have to drag cis Black women at times too, because it's the time. Girl.
00:45:02
Speaker
It's a tie. But I saw something the other day because the girlies were dragging. I forgot this woman's name because I blocked her.
00:45:19
Speaker
It was just like conversation around like complaining about like the whole don't say gay bill thing and like how this like Pete like black women there were black women like theorists or journalists or whatever complaining
00:45:35
Speaker
that the dope. You know what I'm talking about? Do you know this friend of mine? Kimberly Crenshaw. Yes. Oh my god. Wait, Kimberly Crenshaw shot this? No, she didn't. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. She did. I thought someone else tweeted it, and then she liked it, and then followed up and tried to defend this woman who originally has done it. I don't know. I don't know. I just thought she got in the mix. And some of the girls have said Kimberly Crenshaw has gotten on the wrong side of things before, or said some good things. She is. Yes.
00:46:03
Speaker
Yeah, it's not not not you being the foundation of the word intersectionality. Was she not the first? I've also learned that she's not the first person who came up with that. Like many other black women. I will also say that. So I think that intersection, right. And then it's like, it's like, what is it called? It's called the
00:46:26
Speaker
It's something similar to intersectionality. What people also forget is that Kimberly Crenshaw created intersectionality, not to talk about like these bigger pieces, but like how all of these things affect like the justice system. And people like, and we kind of took those things and used them as into like,
00:46:40
Speaker
So when we talk about intersectionality now, when we talk about it as a Black folk or as a people or as queers or whatever, whoever's talking about it, it's not the original, I think, the original overall concept. We've just shaped it so that it fits the societal understanding of some of the shit that happens. So when I was in school, we were learning that it's called matrix denomination. That might be it, too. One of those matrix denominations, one of y'all niggas know. As any matrix denomination, somebody knows something. And was that intersectionality were two different things that were created for two different purposes?
00:47:09
Speaker
And so I think that people, because I don't think that Kimberly Crenshaw would consider, maybe wouldn't consider herself like a sociologist or like an anthropologist or like a social, like a women's gender studies person. I don't think that's where she would consider herself to be that kind of person. Whereas a Patricia Hill Collins, right? Or Judith Butler, right? Would consider themselves to be people that do that kind of work. I really forgot the name of this woman I blocked. Wow. Wow.
00:47:39
Speaker
But she did like the 1607 thing or whatever. Oh, the black, the black, whatever. Is it called the Black Slave Project? That's how it is. Are y'all talking about 1619 Project? 1619, yes. I'm like 1607, what the hell happened that year? Is her name Natasha? Nicole. Nicole, Nicole. She got three names. Nicole Hannah.
00:48:02
Speaker
I think that sounds right. Sorry, so I really, yeah. So she's been doing goofy things, but basically the conversation that she was in that also ended up, like Kimberly Crenshaw got involved. And I don't know, I've heard, I've seen some people say that like she has done, Kimberly Crenshaw has done some like gaslighting towards like black queer folks. So I don't know the truth to those things, but I'll, I saw on Itwips,
00:48:30
Speaker
was, you know, the women's having a conversation about how, oh, people are like up in arms about, don't say gay bill, but they don't give a fuck about like black people's issues or whatever. And I just feel like if we have one more conversation, why do we have to keep doing this? Oh my gosh, in all of the places, I'm so, like every single time I have a conversation with somebody,
00:48:56
Speaker
And I think it's because like so many people just see me as hetero presenting and have seen me that way for a very long time. And I'd be like, I've been doing some queer ass shit right in front of y'all niggas and y'all deny it, but that's beside the point. So I end up in these spaces where people will be like, yeah, let's say this about the queers or the gays or this. And then I'd be ready to fucking fight in the middle of the conversation. And they'd be like,
00:49:22
Speaker
Well, not you, or like, why do we have to bring that up? I'm like, because bitch, I'm here as both at the same time. How the fuck are you going to talk about me being like that sometimes? I'm going to read y'all the tweets just because I feel like it's a matter of me. I was looking for them too. So I, Nicole Hannah Jones is Ida Bay Wells.
00:49:42
Speaker
Yes, on Twitter, the nerve, the audience. But she said something like, there's a piece to be and I feel like other people were complaining about other things she said before this, but she said there's a piece to be written. And I won't be writing about why all the anti history, anti racism, anti black laws passed under so called anti
00:50:03
Speaker
critical race theory haven't provoked the same righteous and is truly righteous corporate outrage of the don't say gay law. It hasn't. And then and but and then Kimberly Crenshaw said absolutely and from our elected officials and too many allies who have suddenly found their voice after the gateway drug of anti-black racism was allowed. I'm sorry what the wait wait they said after the gateway drug of the but wait was anti-black racism practice?
00:50:28
Speaker
Yeah, so Kimberly Crenshaw said yes after elected officials have suddenly found their voice after anti-black racism was already allowed to exist. Bitch, okay, shut the fuck up. And it's just like- I'm tired. Why do I feel like- You're going tired.
00:50:53
Speaker
It's just like people want to lock in so deeply to this idea of a binary of like who we're standing against. And that's the part that really stacks me up in certain times when they'd be like, this is for black women. This is for black men. We must come together and then we will raise the voice of black people. I'm like, no.
00:51:12
Speaker
full of reads what the fuck are you talking about we must raise the fact that y'all don't give a fuck about the people you're marginalizing on the back just to uphold your binary I have said I have said multiple times on multiple occasions I have no I don't want to save you niggas if you ain't black and queer trans whatever if you're a straight sister I fucking with you like that
00:51:34
Speaker
My liberation is no longer tied to yours. And people get mad. Well, how could you abandon your people? They already abandoned me. They already abandoned me. You got people who are known as founders who have these conversations around black feminist thought, black feminist lenses. And you're speaking like this. You forgot that we even fucking exist in your conversations.
00:52:00
Speaker
like as if black queer people aren't out here going through racist and other homophobic bullshit at the same fucking time and bitch you so busy with your head in your ass sounded stupid that you forgot to even to even think about us when you even type that stupid ass tweet and then cosign did you base it niggas but what doesn't make any sense is why you think that you need to affirm this narrative
00:52:19
Speaker
that is literally doing that oppressive Olympics because you are because I'm just like, wow, you have really felt like you really feel this way deeply to you really feel that there is only one dynamic of how black people
00:52:33
Speaker
could even understand or have access to liberation. I'm like, I promise you. Why are y'all gatekeeping liberation like this? But I promise you, every time I talk about this, the girls are screaming, they're yelling. I've been in a class where other people have been like, how could you? You cis hat niggas, your shit ain't tied to mine no more.
00:52:51
Speaker
I don't give a fuck whether or not you get free. I want my people to be free. And when I see my people now, I meet other black, queer, trans, and non-binary gender. If you ain't sis and you ain't hat and you black, I mean, if you black and you're not sis and you're not hat, I'm talking to you.
00:53:05
Speaker
Yeah and what I keep thinking about is like I keep thinking about the word center because I keep thinking about who is being centered like as an extremely intentional thing because sometimes I think it's talked about as like well we want to center like this generic like we want to center black people and I'm like
00:53:23
Speaker
When I say that, no, no, I don't mean that. I don't mean that. When I say that, I mean exclusively, this is who the fuck I want to sentence. And for me, all the people who are complaining of like, why can I not be included? Y'all need to process that on your own, just the same way that the white people process not being in black exclusive places.
00:53:41
Speaker
because you and your own place that have plenty of other places to go, you don't understand that you asking to be in a marginalized space to which your very presence takes away from our actual experiences, that your very presence is fucking shifty and uncomfortable. If you don't get that to your business, I'm not going to explain that to you.
00:54:06
Speaker
And some of y'all come in with the energy of, like, I deserve to be here. Do you know how many times I've held black critic spaces across, like, my 10-year career, and, like, black-blacks as well can show up and be like, we weren't invited and we don't understand why. Like, we're coming to basically be like, well, I don't understand why you want to explain X, Y, and Z to me.
00:54:22
Speaker
Because the fucking space was meant for you in the first place. The space was not meant for you in the first place. Us existing and us wanting to be together and commune had nothing to do with having to teach you or hand feed you, spoon feed you our culture and all that shit. That's not what the fuck it was.
00:54:40
Speaker
And again, I say this one more time for you niggas who be like, I can't believe I said this. Bitch, I said it. My liberation and my freedom is no longer tied to black cis folks because if I fucking depended on you niggas, I wouldn't get no fucking way and neither of my fucking community.
00:54:55
Speaker
We wouldn't have no resources, you know what the fuck the gag is You know how many black trans folks and queer folks I know who are still sharing from GoFundMe's and we all been sharing the same $50 fucking dollars for who the fuck knows how long and granted I got more money so I can give more money But at first I was also a bitch who was sharing that $50 too. Mm-hmm You niggas have access that we don't have shut the fuck up I'm so tired and then like
00:55:19
Speaker
And I'm thinking about it too, because all the times we've silenced other genders, age-gender folks, again, gender-queer folks, other non-binary folks, bi-gender folks, all those people who exist who don't even have voices to talk about shit today, spirits of black men or black women or other black people in general, because y'all can't get past the fucking trans part. We're still having discussions about trans people who are in the binary.
00:55:45
Speaker
That still confuses y'all. And that, to me, is the easiest part. Right. I'm like, it's still within. What the fuck your mind? You still understand what it means. It's the same thing. Two. Boom. That's what you know. We can't even get to people who are outside of the binary at all because you don't got no fucking room for them, period. And other black folks, are you other blacks as niggas? Even if you recognize trans folks in the binary, you don't recognize nobody else.
00:56:11
Speaker
We still don't exist to you. So when I'm talking about what it looks like to have a space where I can come onto a podcast and talk to my other good duties about my experiences being a black queer trans person, that people will be like, girl, you don't know the trans people. I ain't fucking ask you. Like, that's important because I don't have it anywhere else. We don't exist anywhere else to y'all.
00:56:28
Speaker
You know how many of us are screaming for help and support? How many of us are screaming for resources? We just ate a fucking boy with each other. Screaming to each other about the same, again, the same, sharing the same 50 fucking dollars buying each other's merch when it come out because nobody else wants to buy our shit.
00:56:43
Speaker
And it's even just like the foundation, like the core of it that there are so many people who are just needing a space to go to fucking eat, like not being a public spaces where they'll feel uncomfortable, spaces that they can go and gather, spaces that they can live, like spaces that they just literally feel comfortable. And the fact that so much of life is like,
00:57:07
Speaker
in this discomfort in this like being pushed out. And then when queer and trans folks make the space, and everybody's demanding of all of this fuckery it's like, wow, y'all don't get tired, y'all literally do not sleep because the amounts
00:57:23
Speaker
of insertion that you want to be in a space that nobody, like literally there's so much other shit to do with your day and you want to be in a space with queer and trans folks that just want to fucking kiki and have dinner. And like I think the gag is that like, so I'm required to give everyone else space and no one's required to give me space.
00:57:46
Speaker
I'm required to give Black, like, everyone else, every Black cis folks are allowed to have whatever spaces they need to process their shit, get through their shit, to deal with their other shit, and I'm supposed to just take whatever scraps are left, which is typically like, don't eat all the fuck up.
00:58:02
Speaker
So like, I don't even get it. Like when people are talking, again, when people are talking about the experience they have with black men, even being abusive, right? The fact that I have to tell black women and black men, you are not the only people that are getting fucking abused by other people who exist in other genders and other bodies are also getting abused by y'all. And we can't get to that part because you're still fussing about who's abusing who the most.
00:58:25
Speaker
or there's a conversation about like how black women are coming forward about their experiences, about being abused, being violated, being whatever, assaulted, whatever the case may be, and they're still being took under the rug. You're not even acknowledging each other's experiences. How long, I don't, and again, all of this circulating back to what I said before, because again, I want to keep fucking saying it, my liberation and my freedom is not attached to blacks as people. If you niggas want to sit in the shadow to argue about how much it costs for a dinner,
00:58:51
Speaker
Who should, like, when should we have this next? Oh, I did. Girl, what do you do after a $200 date? Girl, I'm tired. You're all gonna be talking about who gets served first, my man, or my child, whoever. Not that who gets served first! I know. Oh, my God. How about whoever uses a fucking kitchen first, which everyone wants to fucking show. If y'all niggas want to eat, then y'all better eat. If y'all want to cook, then you better cook. Yes, big bro adds that he can't make his own meal. Are we hungry? Because you know where I want to? Chipotle.
00:59:21
Speaker
I hate it. I cooked last night and I cooked for me. Like I can't, I am so fucking tired of you niggas over stupid shit. I'm not Sierra in future. My nigga Sierra moved on with a whole husband. I love her. She literally has.
00:59:38
Speaker
I saw somebody was like, the nigga was like, you corny. I mean, I was like, uh, that Russell Wilson was corny. I want corny too. He's corny for like, treating her nice. My nigga, Russell Wilson bought Sierra her masters, bought her back the rights to her music. So every time a nigga plays a song. You didn't even know that. Russell Wilson bought Sierra's masters for her.
00:59:59
Speaker
Like her birthday or Christmas or something. That's beautiful. That means that every time a nigga even thinks to read a Sierra song, mama get in the chat. I'm going to play so much theater. Today is Sierra streaming day. I want a man who is like, even if we like, if who is that invested, if I was to be dating, a nigga like that, who is that invested, who was like, I want you to have my money.
01:00:27
Speaker
And I want you to have yo money. A matter of fact, I'm so into the artwork that you do and so into the shit that you doing I'm fitting to back you 100% and go get your music. My motherfucking self nigga. It's your music cuz I got it for you That's why and I'm sure that maybe see everybody might have thought about that Maybe she might have a conversation but Russell went and did it You niggas won't even give your girlfriend child support You didn't see our kids once a week
01:00:54
Speaker
You're not gonna tell me he has a pussy. Oh, oh. I can't believe it. One thing I learned from dealing with these men's assist situation is I would never fucking in my life ever acknowledge that ever again. There was this one guy he used to blow my fucking back out, but he didn't eat pussy. And I hated it. Hated it. But he also was my after party like booty call. Like he was the person that like, I would be out.
01:01:23
Speaker
And then it was literally one of those you go up. So I was like, I don't really have this deep upset feeling inside of me. But what I do feel now is that I would fucking never. I don't want to engage with somebody who doesn't realize it's the full body experience. But I need the football. I need the touch. I need the intimacy. I need the roughness. I need the interaction. I need you to talk to me leading up to it. Get nasty. I need the whispers in my ear. Get nasty on the phone.
01:01:52
Speaker
The worst part is in my ear. Grabbing the back of my neck. I need you to play with these nipples, nigga, because what the fuck. Kiss my lower back. Kiss my upper back. Get into these thighs.
01:02:04
Speaker
No. Tease me a little when we outside of the streets. Do a little something. Right, grab my ass in the way to the restaurant and let me know what's happening. Okay, let me know what we get. Make me want to leave this second restaurant right now where fuck you right now. Oh, where you going? Oh, where you going? Oh, where you doing? No. Okay, but I think, yeah, it's a go, it's a go, we don't need that. Just get it delivered. We got to go, we got to go. Fuck.
01:02:32
Speaker
Oh, I think, but, okay, so we were just, okay, to leap back around to talking about men and then to talking about sex and to be talking about queerness all at once. I cannot stand the fact that the binary has slid over to the queers. And it's very, what I experienced is that femme and stud shit. And I'm just like,
01:03:09
Speaker
All right, y'all, we're back. Yeah, okay, but to pick up on the thought that I was saying is that I feel like many parts of this binary of men and women or whatever, and gender has found its way into queerness in ways that I literally cannot stand because
01:03:31
Speaker
I think how people try to receive and interpret who I am and my energy, specifically like, oh, it's them or it's done. And I'm like, oh, it's like fluid. I do whatever I want. And I don't want to be in the spaces that are very much categorized in this one area because I'm fluid to do whatever the fuck I want to do and show up however I want.
01:03:54
Speaker
I'm trying to remember what was happening right towards the beginning that got me to think about that. But I think I just think about how even within queerness and even within these spaces that feel very queer, they also feel very like, I don't want to go to either one of these sides. I don't want to do it.
01:04:14
Speaker
I was laughing because I don't know what got me to think about this. I'm like, was it the fuck with the restaurant part? I really don't know. Wait, wait. OK. Oh, no. I think we were talking about pay for my shit at the restaurant, maybe. Is that how we got there?
01:04:34
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. But the fuck, man, the restaurant is really a booth. We were talking about showing affection and showing me that you're interested in taking initiative and that kind of thing. That conversation was kind of what was happening. And the restaurant piece came from us being like, girl, we just act like you want me. What the fuck? Act like you want this coochie. Go. That's it. You don't got to just act like it.
01:05:04
Speaker
and have it be very, like, do it all. Right. And so I was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, nigga. Like, we in the wild grabbed my ass up and I was going on later. Like, you know. Maybe it was thinking of how I want somebody to do that to me. And like, people put me in this box of like, you're supposed to perform in this certain way and show up in a certain way. And I'll be like, I don't know where the fuck you have been in this fucking world. But this is around reciprocation and balance. So you go and grab my ass and say some nasty shit.
01:05:30
Speaker
while we at this restaurant and pay the bill and I'm going to pay the bill and say some nasty stuff. I love that for all of us involved. If you're looking to do that with me, my number is... I can't deal with that. If you're looking to do that with me, come to Jersey and find me.
01:05:49
Speaker
Just wander around the state. Girl, there are people. I'm not going to start with that. I'm going to say, yeah, there are people who are like, who have been in my inbox like, oh, yo, Shelly is fine. Hook us up. Give me that number. And I was like. Not your face. What's that?
01:06:13
Speaker
Oh my god. I'm messy. This is the only thing after the ball. We're not doing this. I really be out here when they be saying that singling the mingling shit. I really be mingling. But then like, sometimes because they'll be mingling back or people will secretly want to shoot their shot. And I'm like,
01:06:32
Speaker
Talk to me. Say hello to me. Well, actually, OK, so I'm about to get in. OK, this person, I'm not giving too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this person, you've worked with them before, through me. And they actually, I believe, may have a way to contact you and ask about contacting you to me, because they also know that I have had a crush and I'd be telling niggas to get a line.
01:07:00
Speaker
Oh, so I just- As you say, the line leader.
01:07:05
Speaker
No, I mean, I'm still not getting chills, but sure, go off, sis. No, it really gets me every single time. I'm saying what the fuck I want to say. Y'all be like, let's change the topic. And I'll be like, I'm trying to move forward. You've seen the podcast episode. You said me too. I'm like, forward in the podcast episode. If you want to wrap up this section and y'all could be bursting over each other after.
01:07:34
Speaker
I'm already excited. Say it now. Say it now. With your full chest. All right. So we're going to segue over into Girl I Guess. We're going to segue over into Girl I Guess. I don't know if there are any sort of final thoughts that folks have before we go into Girl I Guess. Any final thoughts about this topic?
01:08:01
Speaker
Are you hot? Am I blushing? Hot, you are. I see you. Alright, well. I think I'm turning red! Thank y'all for being a part of this conversation. We're gonna go over into girl, I guess. Oh my god, I cannot.
01:08:23
Speaker
The last thing I was going to say, not related to any of that, but let's just like, you know, I have now had the experience of being with someone who, you know, treats a relationship like a partnership and, you know, does the practice of sharing in the energy that y'all were talking about.
01:08:46
Speaker
So it's definitely possible. Don't bring that face and tell us that we ate shit a little bit louder. Just kidding. We celebrated. But I'm saying, I was going to say just that it's possible and niggas can do it, you know? They say so choose. So your man is the one man out of all the men. I did not say that. I didn't say it.
01:09:06
Speaker
It's Jimmy Pickney! What's his name? It wasn't. It was not what I was trying to say. Just kidding. Brie, that was a beautiful moment. You can clip that out and send that to him and be like, look at me. Look how I feel about your baby. Right. Don't say what we said after that. Yeah, don't. Don't say what we said after that. Just send a baby! Send a baby! I want a baby. Anyway. I feel like Michael is such a kitty and he's very sweet. He's so sweet. I really love it. I wouldn't know because Brie will introduce me.
01:09:35
Speaker
Girl, I'm not starting over. I have his phone number. I think I'm going to text him and say, you're doing great. You're doing amazing, sweetie. All right. Good job. Going into, girl, I guess. I'm trying to keep the train on the tracks right now. I'm really trying. And if this train goes up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. Back on the scene. I feel like I'm on drugs when I'm talking. I really just
01:10:03
Speaker
I really feel like it's a lot though. Instantly pop! I'm gonna go ahead because we're out of time.
Music and Grammy Highlights
01:10:14
Speaker
So first for Girl, I guess some new music. Maybe we'll do like a music or media recommendation or something. Is it Chloe? It's Chloe and then it's fair because I didn't talk about it last time but
01:10:30
Speaker
So Chloe came out with a new single and a video called Treat Me. I have only listened and watched part of it, but she is shaking a lot of s, and it looks really exciting, so congratulations Chloe for that.
01:10:49
Speaker
I also want to shout out the person that Khloe samples. I literally just heard the song today. Shout out to Earth The Kit to which she samples because I know of every Capricorn that has been sampled in any music ever. So shout out to her. I thought you were going to shout out... I thought you were going to shout out Booty Booty Rock.
01:11:09
Speaker
That's in the song? Yeah. I didn't listen to the full song. I literally have only heard because Amber Riley posted it and it's like a 10 second clip literally. I didn't listen to the full one. I watched the video last night and was like, bitches is naked in pools, lots of girls shaking again. Chloe said, Chloe said, I ain't never putting this ass up. My sister can do what she wants with the kids. I am a grown ass woman. Right. I don't fuck the kids. I fuck the kids.
01:11:39
Speaker
Another music rec that I have not gotten into but I did see some of her like
01:11:47
Speaker
the late night performance, Normani's fair was also the latest Normani single that came out. The girl said it was boring, but I don't think it's boring. I like it. I honestly get into the Normani bops. I like it. Yeah, I do. And she's giving performance whenever she hits it. Of course. I always think that Normani's Fenty performance is one of the most beautiful experiences in the same world that I've ever seen. And they don't give a... It was in a little square. I'm like, yay! Put some respect on her name.
01:12:17
Speaker
she did that. and it's actually funny to mention that because like a lot of the girls, i feel like try to drag, like the girls who like
01:12:27
Speaker
support like some of the other girls like Chloe or like I don't know we'll try to like drag Normani. For what? They're the same people. They're like peers like I don't get why they try they're they're always trying to pit bad bitches against each other. If you're mad to say that. Haters right. I'm just like
01:12:51
Speaker
these let the girls have fun. I don't, I don't really get it, but whatever. Rooting for honestly, the way Normani just into that screen right there, I wouldn't let her fuck the shit out of me. Yeah. Or I would fuck the shit out of her. The Normani sequence that she did with, um, what's that woman name? Um, she'd be dancing. What's, what's the one? It was giving very, it was, it was giving very, um, it was giving very, no. Um,
01:13:21
Speaker
But anyway, yeah, so rooting for everybody involved, rooting for everybody here. Then going into the Grammys, right? So that was a thing that happened. There was a lot of stuff going on. We had performances and the like. Olivia Rodrigo performed. BTS performed. Lil Nas X performed. Some other people performed that, I don't remember.
01:13:52
Speaker
But getting into the wins, right? Conversations about that. Olivia Rodrigo won several Grammys. First time, but several she went home with. She won Best New Artist, Best Pop Solo Performance for Driver's License, and Best Pop Vocal Album for Sour. I think those were all of them.
01:14:16
Speaker
So that was giving a lot. The girls were trying to give some shade I saw on the timeline because they were like... I don't know. I didn't even know this was a thing, but I think maybe it's because Olivia Rodrigo and Billie Eilish are on the same label, so they tried to pit them against each other. But they both got nominated this year. I don't know. Oh, Billie Eilish performed and I actually really liked that because I didn't realize that was her song. She performed... I forgot what it was called.
01:14:46
Speaker
yeah, i don't know. the girls be trying to pitch ruddies against each other and it'd be given a lot. but shout out to congratulations to Olivia Rodrigo. hope you got your driver's license. ooh, silk sonic was a quarter in my side. so, silk sonic won various things. and i blame y'all niggas for this because y'all blew.
01:15:16
Speaker
I blew them up. They won record of the year, song of the year, best R&B song, and then tied for best R&B performance with Jasmine Sullivan. And I just feel like that's disrespectful. I really don't think
01:15:41
Speaker
they deserved at all. There was definitely like one or two of those that I was like,
01:15:46
Speaker
This is really giving. I feel like they definitely didn't deserve Song of the Year. I think that was the one where either Montero or Industry Baby was nominated. And I was like, girl. And can we talk about how Nas has really been dropping hits and really saying the girls? And he didn't win anything. I told someone else, I'm like, they're not. And I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve. I just didn't think he was going to win.
01:16:15
Speaker
And I knew that. I feel like he's gonna go. Like, who else did I do that to? We have a list. Rihanna for Anti? I mean, a lot of people. It's not supposed to be. That album was so delicious, and she won nothing. Montero is really good. She got it for like seven Grammys and won. I actually, I don't, I don't, I think was best music video a thing. I don't actually know.
01:16:34
Speaker
Um, but I think, I think it's funny that like he didn't with between like the visuals and the actual performance themselves. And you could also see that in like he performed that night and he just was like very much giving.
01:16:47
Speaker
It gave masculine. It gave feminine. And I just feel like it definitely feels like something because just not being recognized for any of that, you know. I know that, you know, he has very, you know, much more in store. Yeah, but it's just, it's just like, Montero was really a great album and deserves some recognition.
01:17:17
Speaker
Good.
01:17:19
Speaker
I had to do a phone to friend real quick, because half these people's names, I didn't even know who the hell they were. Same. We're able to have more than just the reason why I'm just like, who are these people? And then to think they're winning anything, I'm like, all right. I also feel like, nigga, specifically, it's certain people that we listen to, certain people that we don't. I just feel like, culturally, some of the girls wouldn't even be invited if it was up to us. So I'm just like, maybe this is best for them. This is what's best for them.
01:17:47
Speaker
I wanted to do a drag for them doing the whole tide for best performance with Jasmine Sullivan thing. Yo, that was actually disgusting. And then to acknowledge them little boys, of course they shouldn't touch that stage. Like, don't let them come up here. Fuck out of here. Throw that shit to the side and let's get back to the real schedule program. Is I had to look up his name. I don't like Peter who is also going by Bruno. I don't like Peter being a part of any of this at all. I don't like it.
01:18:17
Speaker
So Peter Hernandez does not deserve. I'm calling him Bruno because I want to call that little boy by his first name. I have not liked Bruno Mars for a very long time. Like it's like it's so deep in me. I think it's mainly because I don't want that. I don't want it. We didn't actually. More of the pop like
01:18:41
Speaker
Because I'm like, you know, be over there with that. But it feels like, yeah, it feels like very much closer to like glass. Why would Peter be anywhere near Jasmine?
01:18:54
Speaker
Peter? I just feel like that was very disgusting. And also, I didn't know the Grammys tied. I didn't. I've never heard that before. I've never heard of that. They did that because they wanted to take away from Jasmine's fucking moment because they know that Jasmine was eating the fuck up. Even with her, too, they know that Jasmine was eating up. I also feel like I don't like the other nigga that works with Peter.
01:19:18
Speaker
Let's see if we should be addressed. Yeah, I was over him when he pulled that shitty ass lyric on Jamis Sullivan's original brand name. Yeah, I didn't. And before that, he had some other lyrics that hit me wrong. I'm like, yeah, I'm not with you. You're not feeding it to me. And so I've been over him since then.
01:19:37
Speaker
I feel like the girls definitely hyped up the whole silk sonic thing for it. And I'm just like, girl, this don't really feel like real R&B to me. I think it's just because of the aesthetics and the package that like, oh, they're giving the 70s, all this other stuff. I'm like, yeah, I don't know how many other people give the 70s. This is the real sound. Yeah, like this is the image. Kirby gives some 70s that I've seen and I'm like, yes. I see it. You know what Kirby is?
01:20:05
Speaker
She's a singer. I got a- Oh, was it Afro? Yeah. She gives 70s, if that's really what y'all want. So, don't drag me, but I love Dua Lipa's Future Nostalgia album, and it was definitely- Why are you looking around like that? Why are you looking at his? I don't know. Who, Dua Lipa? I know the name, but do I know a song? Okay, well, Dua Lipa had an album called Future Nostalgia that was really- I mean, I enjoyed Dua Lipa.
01:20:34
Speaker
I do, but I loved her Future Nostalgia album because it was really like, it was fun and kitschy. And it was, she kept it cute. She stayed in her pop lane.
01:20:44
Speaker
She didn't give us too, she didn't give us no nigga shit. And I mean, honestly, the way we have been gathering Bruno up, we're like, do something else. Because like, you've been doing this for a long time. I feel like, unfortunately, they're gonna stay in this bag for a while. Yeah, they're definitely gonna lock in with us. I mean, I guess, but I'm just like, girl... They're the young aunties, the older aunties. They're all buying it. But I'm just like...
01:21:11
Speaker
I'm like, you don't have to, though. Because Maxwell is still touring. Maxwell is still touring. His knees are giving Megan the styling. Did y'all see that video of that band? I did. Maxwell. Maxwell's still there, baby.
01:21:27
Speaker
I do not need to be going to these movies. Me and my homegirl went and saw him a couple of years ago for our birthdays. And when I tell you, bitch, I was, Max was still doing body rolls. He said he was gonna give a performance. I said, you know what, Max? Because look, in mind you, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, me and my homegirl, we a lesbian, I'm a queer, we together in the crowd, he's always, y'all together, y'all in love.
01:21:56
Speaker
I wore a skirt and a crop top and I had on a whole fur coat. Girl, what? Who's, who's? I don't know. I love when black people don't see greatness, but they're just, they just don't see it.
01:22:12
Speaker
Oh, do y'all miss it? We look at that map and we're like, bro, you lying. I know you see the gay shit sitting here. I know you see all this gay shit in this whole first two seats on the third row. I know you see this gay. And we were so close. I could see the sweat on his blood. His old girl. It was. Wow. Yeah. Max, if you listen to that, call me. Oh, my god. Max, you should be singing to me serenade in my army.
01:22:40
Speaker
But shout out to Jasmine for also getting the win for best R&B album for Hotels, because she did. She's been deserved, but whatever.
01:22:53
Speaker
Because y'all definitely snubbed reality show. We did not forget. You definitely snubbed it and that. Oh my gosh, reality show. Reality show was far from different. Reality show is stored literally, don't even think about Brent in our mind. It's just there. Live there. It's still in my rotation. It's still in my rotation. Even with hotels, it's still in my rotation. Oh yeah, it has to be because how could we not acknowledge one of the greatest things she ever archived? She really gave that to us forever.
01:23:23
Speaker
foot in that album and the girls couldn't take it. okay. um let's see what else happened. um doja and sizzle won for best pop duo um both of their best uh their first and i think maybe like the first black women to win that award unless
01:23:47
Speaker
or maybe of recent years. And then also speaking of first things for Black people, John Batiste won Album of the Year. He is one of only 11 Black winners of that award, and he is the first Black person to win in 14 years. He's also fine.
01:24:13
Speaker
One thing that I will say, that makes sense though, because they love themselves some John. Some other winners include Stevie Wonder for three. Wait, Stevie Wonder won an award? I'm talking about the other black people who have won this award. Okay.
01:24:41
Speaker
Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson won once. Lionel Richie won once. Quincy Jones won once. Natalie Cole won once. Whitney Houston won once.
01:24:58
Speaker
Lauren Hill won once. Outcast won in 2004. Lauren only gave us one album, two in one. Ray Charles won in 2005. Herbie Hancock won in 2008. And then this is the first time a black person has won since 2008.
01:25:16
Speaker
Didn't we drag them for not giving Beyonce album of the year for Lemonade? I mean, that's... Didn't have to come up here and be like, what the fuck? Beyonce did not. Why am I standing here? Right. She didn't win for the album of the year and she didn't get one for putting together. She didn't win for any... Like, Lemonade, she walked in there and... She didn't win album of the year for that and then she didn't win album of the year after she did the album that came from The Lion King.
01:25:47
Speaker
What's that shit called? Blackest King. Not Blackest King. Is it Blackest King? Okay. A whole documentary, additional! But I mean, it was a music. I'm like, Beyonce had her foot in hands of every damn thing.
01:25:59
Speaker
Like, how did she not grow up? Okay. The Academy very typically tries to play in nigga's faces. They do. They really do. But then sometimes when we watch it, we might think like, oh, they're going to be good. Like Whitney popping up and Whitney being at her prime. It's like, all right, she going to be good. She going to eat all these up. But no, it's not the case at all because Beyonce pulling up and being in a category with Adele,
01:26:27
Speaker
Not during Rollin' in the Deep or like at the peak where I even know all the songs off that album. It's giving Adele like, okay, she put out some songs. Sound cute, sound Adele. But I didn't listen to that shit at all. And that's when Adele won over Beyonce. Not a hometown glory Adele, this Adele won over Beyonce.
01:26:48
Speaker
Yeah. It wasn't a great time for us. So yeah, I don't know what's in store for the future. I feel like we probably won't get another nigga to win this award. To like 2044. We're all talking about that one time. We still some hard work. One time, because one right there. One time, because one.
01:27:08
Speaker
But yeah, I haven't really listened to John's work, but he's from New Orleans, so I don't know. Thank you. He's such a great live performer because he plays the organ. And he plays... His performance was actually really good. The guitar as well, I think. So I didn't see anybody's Grammy performance except for Beyonce's. But yeah, I...
01:27:34
Speaker
What'd you say? That was at the Oscars. That's what I'm saying. I didn't watch anything that happens at any of these award shows except for Beyonce. That's fair. I don't know what's going on in these things. Well, let's get on into that. So a couple of things happened at the Oscars and we left. We're gonna do it really quick. So Beyonce.
01:27:56
Speaker
was there. Beyonce opened, which was surprising. What girl? So there was Blue Ivy. Blue Ivy was there. She was on her little side. He was like, I came to perform with her like all the other girls. Her little eight count. Yes. Blue said, I do. I'm a performer. And you've been saying that because I respect her by name. I already want to thank you for having me on the band.
01:28:20
Speaker
I already have a Grammy. But not really. I'm not playing with y'all. I love that. Love the performance. I was actually stressed because I wasn't watching it. And then somebody uploaded the performance. And then immediately in the middle of me watching it, like, girl, they took it down. Like, I couldn't watch it in full until later. But I was like, wow, not copywriting.
01:28:44
Speaker
literally in the middle of this. I just want to acknowledge how the aesthetics of that performance was like breathtaking. And then I also just started thinking about damn, they really went hard because they had to find this very interesting color for absolutely everything. And then I mean, I don't know how they damn, how do people have all this money?
01:29:13
Speaker
They really had like niggas go to Venus and Serena's childhood tennis court and paint that bitch fucking tennis ball. And then all the people who were in there, paint them, and the beads, whoever did they did. Bro, coloring pickers. This one person had a bead, they look like Sia. Yeah, they had beads going down their face with like corn rules or like, yeah. My favorite part about all of them beads is that when I watch it, I always
01:29:41
Speaker
freaking cackle at the fact that blue has a fresh curl situation and no beads at all.
01:29:50
Speaker
We have to not put that one beat in. I'm not. She's just taking it out later. What you're going to do is you're going to stay there. Because she's like, I'm not taking it out later. I'm not taking it out later. Give her a curl, cramp. She'll be fine. Don't sweat it out. You're fine. And also age-appropriate. Yes. Yeah. Makes sense. And I love that. Blue is giving performance.
01:30:14
Speaker
wins for the night include several for Dune, Enkato won best animated feature. I'm sorry, but that's what happened. a little too much for me, but it won? okay. I mean, I too didn't...
01:30:38
Speaker
wouldn't have given it to Encanto. And many people say because Disney basically nominates themselves essentially, like they are Pixar.
01:30:51
Speaker
They typically, I mean, yeah, like two, I think two or three of the nominated films were like Disney owned properties. So it's just like Disney against itself. And it's just like a way people are like, this is just like a award for Disney to give itself something. Right. But let's also be very clear. I watched the one about the person that was Israeli and like, I didn't watch that. I watched that. Yes. I finally watched it. I didn't watch it yet. And I was like, Oh my God.
01:31:20
Speaker
I heard it was really good, but then it's Flee. But I also feel like Luca... Luca was giving. Luca should have took... I mean, let's keep it above. I particularly press about the girls that be singing the songs all the time, but that's cute. But the songs on...
01:31:48
Speaker
What's her name? And console were not hitting for me. They weren't hitting for me. Most of them weren't, actually. It's really hitting me. We don't talk about Bruno. Oh, we don't talk about Bruno. And the Spanish song with a song I thought was really beautifully done. Cute. And I think the first song with her explaining, I was bored. I was bored in 20 seconds. I'm like, girl, I'm already bored. I get here singing
Oscars Incident and Reactions
01:32:09
Speaker
really fast, and that's great for you. But I talk really fast. Every day, bitches do not speak.
01:32:15
Speaker
Give it to Luca or give it to Flea. What are we saying right now?
01:32:19
Speaker
I feel like it's harder with movies that come out earlier in the award year. I don't know. I don't know how that really works out for folks as far as the push for the nomination of the win and stuff. But I too would have given it to Luca out of those players. Because they have what's it called versus the machines? That wasn't bad, but it's not giving... Was that this year?
01:32:46
Speaker
Yes. Oh, okay. I watched that. I actually watched that. But it was good. It was really good. I did. It's not giving Luka or it's not giving Flea for me. So like I said, and a lot of people complained, like, I don't know, like, it's like, what's the point in like an independent or like a lesser note, a less known thing, like flea being nominated and they're just gonna play and give it to the big corporation.
01:33:10
Speaker
or whatever. Who wins on a regular basis? I'm sure they've won. Girl. Who doesn't need to win anything. And a lot of the time, I don't care. Because they need to say that there'd be a Grammy award. I think historically, people have complained about many of the other Disney and Pixar wins from the past several, past 10 years have pretty much been Disney-Pixar wins. And it's just like, girl, didn't deserve. Girl, not my food won away after three years. Girl.
01:33:38
Speaker
At least it's coming. It's been 84 years. Oh my god. Since I ate something, bitch, I'm thin. Okay. And then last few things. Koda won some things as well as... Heard that was good too. Film. Yeah. Best picture I mean. And I did hear it was good and I still plan to watch it. Drive my car one and I still need to watch it. I would like to. I just haven't had a chance to. And then...
01:34:06
Speaker
we get to the controversy. Ooh, among the horror. Oh, please hurry. All right, we're gonna do it real fast. All right, so boom, boom, boom. You already know what happened. Chris Rock was playing games. Jada was uncomfortable. Will Smith smacks him in the face, sits back down. And they proceed with the ceremony. Apparently the girls were freaking out because they were like, he's still nominated. What the fuck do we do?
01:34:35
Speaker
And right after that, I guess they had no choice but to award him the award that he won for Best Act Tour. So Will Smith took home the Oscar, his first win for King Richard. When you don't have him in Pursuit of Happiness, and how did he miss that? And I watched I Am Legend by him on the screen for a little bit. This is the first Oscar he's ever gotten? Yep, his first Oscar win.
01:35:03
Speaker
and I think also he is one of... he is also only one of four or five Black men who have won the Best Actor Award. Definitely. I think the last one... I can't remember the list, but... Okay, y'all. What? There's a pause for the option. Okay, well don't do that. But I'm...
01:35:33
Speaker
Do you need to right now? Let's not do that. Yeah, he'll get lost if I don't. Are they coming right now? Yes! Would you like to see the screen, broski? I'm just asking, like, are they right there? Okay, well pause it if you need to, I guess. Okay, let's... Alright, anyway, what the fuck was that?
01:35:57
Speaker
Um, so yeah, so he's one of few black actors who've won this award. Um, and, you know, he talks about protecting his family and such. Um, but what, so I wasn't watching the Oscars. I was on Twitter and such, you know, be checking in periodically to be like, who won what? Okay, whatever. None of my business. And it wasn't until this happened that everybody's like, what the fuck was that? That I was like,
01:36:24
Speaker
Oh, what's T? What's T? What happened? What happened, girl? I don't know. I don't know if you've seen that, like, niche-y-ness, like, niche-y-ness, um, niche-y- I can't say it.
01:36:38
Speaker
but like it's like this clip of her being like girl what's going on like that's literally i could i could definitely hear that in her voice um i want to be like nisi nash and i want to give birth to my twin her kid oh my god like her stole her face i want to do that um anyway so yeah so it was very it has been on the twitter sphere for a long time since then girl don't you need to go
01:37:06
Speaker
So don't pause it. I mean, it don't matter. Just go. Damn, so let's fuck. Okay, fine. You ready? I'm talking about this shit any fucking way, so you ready? Me and Shelly, you gon' talk. Matter of fact, bitch, if you end there at the end, then that's cool. Girl, just leave. Anyway. I can't deal with this.
01:37:24
Speaker
We're high energy. It's giving everyone. I'm pausing it. I can't. I'm pausing it. We'll be right back. Y'all. Okay.
01:37:41
Speaker
Um, so yeah, anyway, um, but yeah, so that happened and there was a whole lot of outreach about Will Smithington. Um, since then, the girls were giving a lot, white people were like, he should have been arrested. Um, they should have called the cast.
01:38:00
Speaker
all of the things. The only thing that was funny in the cycle of the past week or two that this has happened is just little by little, every celebrity that has said something smart about the situation has
01:38:15
Speaker
they've just been dragged for like shit that they've done. So just like, various people that said shit, like Jim Carrey said something and then people were like, not you. He was saying how like, oh, that wasn't appropriate, the violence, blah, blah, blah. And then the girls were like, girl, not Jim Carrey. And the fact that like,
01:38:39
Speaker
You and your wife led anti-vax movements in California and didn't you abuse a girl? I thought... Girl, the funniest... I'm sorry.
01:38:54
Speaker
It was a terrible day for light skins, but when Zoe Kravitz made the comments, she posted on her Instagram. That's what I saw on me, but I'm like, I don't get it. She posted her outfit on Instagram and was like, this is what I wear to the Oscars where apparently we're slapping people now.
01:39:15
Speaker
And then, oh my god, the receipts just came out where they were like, not you being friends, but Alexander Wang. Not you like making inappropriate comments about Jaden Smith when he was like 14 years old. Like not Lenny Kravitz dating a 17 year old when he was 36.
01:39:32
Speaker
Not like it was just mamas you didn't have to do that to yourself. You could have just shut the fuck up. Like I just feel like celebrities don't know like the option to say nothing. You know how many of these celebrities say nothing?
01:39:51
Speaker
You can literally just shut up and be pretty. And things that they say just doesn't age well. People want to be so reactionary, say some shit for absolutely no reason. And it does not align with how you moved at any other time. You just want to have this sensational moment of like, let me say this one thing and it's not aging well. It's not done. The Alan Baldwin thing and the Jim Carrey thing for me, she's on brand for white men who don't mind their fucking businesses.
01:40:16
Speaker
I didn't know. I didn't know.
01:40:51
Speaker
You don't have to make it a whole I have heard black people who are like
01:40:56
Speaker
Look at how y'all act. He shouldn't have slapped Chris. He could have had a crush. Girl, Amanda Seals. That's all respectable. Amanda Seals having the nerve to be like, oh, we shouldn't do this shit. Like, we shouldn't look like this in front of white people. And I'm just like, girl. I'm sorry. Where would you always be? Well, you invited to an insecure party. But yeah, when they were out here hugging each other goodbye and shit, when Natasha Rapa all said and shit, they all crying and shit. Where the fuck were you? Not being invited to the insecure party, girl. Because of this, invited to the party?
01:41:23
Speaker
girl. The girls have beef for her. They do not like her. And here's the guy. Nobody is saying it, but, but we got her job. So she kept the job because then we thought, we thought she was getting written out on season four.
01:41:43
Speaker
The next season, like season five, she came back and I was like, Oh, I guess they gave her a job back. Same thing with homeboy, the one that was the play gay and was like talking about the girls and how like a lot of his friends aren't feminine. And so he didn't want to portray that like as his character on Mr. Good brother that plays the one that plays the ball. Yeah. He was like, he didn't want to be like all his friends. So I'm like not to play it too feminine. Like in that fit, like everybody in the community is feminine. And I was like,
01:42:07
Speaker
Why are you talking? First of all, I don't want to hear shit from you. And who are your homegirls? Like, ugh. And we saw a lot less of him. And he might have had three lives. Who even told you that you needed to embody the fuckery? All you had to do was just pull up to say the words. That's it. And go the fuck home.
01:42:25
Speaker
Say the words. You are a brother. Just be a brother. Say some brotherly shit. But you had no idea. But like, I think that like part of it was like respectability and other part of it is white people who don't know about any fucking business. Cause niggas just like, I've seen people get slapped for worse. And I have, I mean, I have seen niggas get slapped for less, not worse.
01:42:47
Speaker
For less. I haven't seen niggas get slapped by each other's shoes. I haven't seen niggas get slapped by each other's girlfriends. I haven't seen niggas get slapped over small shit like, you ate my bag of chips. I tell you, like, when I tell you that, like, I'm not finna be in the, like, I don't think that's, like, the end, like, the end all be all mine. You got all these other people who have come in all these terrible, atrocious acts who got to keep all of their fucking awards. All of them.
01:43:11
Speaker
All of them. Rounding out to the last thing that, because we've talked about it in depth. We haven't. I'm tired. So the point of calling it a spade is just that it's very funny that white people will talk about the violence and the violence of whatever. Not the white people who are probably the same ones that are like, yes, we do believe that y'all should defund the cops. We probably should. That's a good idea. And I'll call the cops on them.
01:43:39
Speaker
Get those niggas out of here. Let's get our Instagram page so they can platform themselves, but get them arrested. Get those niggas out of here. So, but the same folks who are saying those things in the same way that niggas like Roman Polanski, and fucking Hulkman.
01:44:02
Speaker
Girl. Mel Gibson. It doesn't matter. I saw somebody say, we need to start talking about the names of these people and start acknowledging how we take no criticism for any of them, like Jude. Who the fuck is about to be listened to a nigga named Jude? I don't know who he is, but he's an actor.
01:44:21
Speaker
But the same way that those people can like, you know, still, like you said, maintain those rewards, awards and stuff, and like the ways that, you know, they can still like do a thing. But I guess, you know, Will Smith got banned for 10 years or whatever.
01:44:40
Speaker
He got he got bent so One he apologized which I would not do I would but I'm sorry what I say brass and I would have been like, I'm sorry I didn't smack Chris rocks punk ass harder. I'm sorry. I didn't knock that nigga into the next fucking year. That's what I'm sorry about I'm sorry I beat his ass. I'm talking with my wife for trying me and my family sooner
01:45:02
Speaker
But, um, sorry about the, the term that they came to was that he would be banned from attending the ceremony for 10 years. He can still be nominated and win.
01:45:13
Speaker
They're not going to let me win. They're not going to do that. So when we're 40 years old, that's what we're going to see. Bro, we want to get to where we're 40. He can't attend the ceremony for 10 years. And he also, I don't think, is a part of the Academy anymore. No, he resigned. Yeah, he resigned. He apologized. He resigned from the Academy and they got banned for 10 years. And I was like, so where is this thing going? He got banned.
01:45:35
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. So again, all of the disgusting things that are happening in those people sit in this space every single year. And that's the thing because when people have made those points of like, what about all of these other people? And I've seen white people make the comments, well, they didn't do it at the ceremony. And I'm like, my nigga, are you fucking serious? But you're OK with people being abusers in their real life and still awarding their films and celebrating them. So you should just stand up in that.
01:46:04
Speaker
Just say it. If you're married, if you're in love with, if you love caping for abuses, just say that. So we know. And that's really it. Just name it. You say it with your whole chest. Just say that. That's who you love.
01:46:19
Speaker
The only other thing I would add about the situation that bothers me because that doesn't surprise me about the whole demonizing Will Smith thing. But this doesn't surprise me, but it is getting on my nerves that y'all need to stop talking about Jada because it's becoming a thing where so many people, including Black people, especially Black men, are just like
01:46:43
Speaker
Because I think Jada ended up saying something where she is not mad at Will for slapping Chris Rock in the face, but she does wish that he hadn't. And so many people were like, see, Jada hates him.
01:46:57
Speaker
I don't know why. Just like, you know, going along with all of the other things that happened with like, August Alsina and like, whatever. Where they're just like, Jada hates this man. Like, I don't know why he would do this. And yeah, yeah, just like all of that. And I'm just like, y'all really need to stand up in like the ways that y'all hate black women because
01:47:20
Speaker
The fact that this all stemmed from the fact that Chris Rob made an unnecessary joke about her condition and then have just many people have just been like, we don't give a fuck about that. And actually, we're going to make more jokes about this is just like the part that you get in me. And what I can't stand is for whatever reason, they like.
01:47:42
Speaker
Basically, I walked into a conversation, and I walked out soon after, because I was like, y'all got me fucked up. Because once we walked into the conversation, they were like, hey, you have short hair. Maybe you have an opinion. I'm like, good. No, absolutely not. I'm not going to say. Because basically, what I was told is, you're really beautiful with your short hair. You look amazing. You look great. Why would somebody be mad if somebody makes a comment about them having short hair? I said, not.
01:48:11
Speaker
my choice for my scalp being in the same place as someone's hair loss and a condition and what is happening that could be eating away at their body in many ways that I am not aware of and y'all are saying that it was a compliment and this came from black men and I was like and this is when
01:48:32
Speaker
I have nothing to say to y'all. Mind you, multiple black men have asked me, how do you feel about it? I absolutely would disagree. You're asking me this literally because y'all see that my hair is short and that's what y'all see. I would like to be removed from the narrative.
01:48:48
Speaker
I'm going to yank every one of y'all the fuck up because y'all keep inserting me into a conversation I never asked to be a part of. I never asked to be a part of these people. And I told them, I told many people, I was like, the reason why I'm not having a conversation about this, because what happened for them does not directly affect me. Maybe in the collective it would affect me, but I do not give a fuck and I don't have the energy to literally talk about the dynamics between these two niggas and between a woman that I can, huh?
01:49:19
Speaker
I don't have that in me to literally give a fuck. And because I've been thrown into so many conversations that they're not even holding space for Jada in a way that they're uplifting her, they're literally being like, yeah, Jada, real quick. Now, let's talk back about these niggas. And I'm like, I hate you. And I feel it.
01:49:40
Speaker
I feel like that's the thing that like people also don't hold space for of like, well, why would she be mad or like now being like, why would she be mad about it? And I'm just like, it wasn't about me. It wasn't about your ego. That's the main thing because like,
01:49:57
Speaker
Very valid of, I for sure like think it's very valid to slap somebody for being disrespectful about you or someone you love. So like sometimes violence is the answer. I can remember getting into a whole like a fight because this man spat on one of my best friends. I remember that. We were fighting for an hour. I didn't even know why it happened.
01:50:22
Speaker
But later on, there were conversations talking basically, and there was this energy around, why are y'all fighting? Because there were three Black femmes that were following these men all around, fighting them all night long because he spat on one of us. But if it's isolated, it's, why are y'all fighting these people? I'm like, because none of the Black men that saw us fighting these men stepped into this shit. They didn't do anything.
01:50:48
Speaker
That's why we're fighting though. I don't think there's anything wrong in the idea of like slapping somebody or like using violence against somebody like using violence against you and like also the issue with people not seeing what Chris Rock said as violent. But um I also think the other side of that is like the like you said the center should be around Jada and her hurt so like I feel like
01:51:15
Speaker
you know, the idea of like will doing that for the sake of protecting her or supporting her is like cool. But the only thing only way I would have an issue with that is like, if it's because like, and I don't know the situation or whatever. But if Jada is like, Yeah, girl, I actually don't want that.
01:51:33
Speaker
or like, you know, if it becomes a thing where you're, like if a nigga like uses violence or whatever, you're doing this thing because it's seen as like, this is a sign of a disrespect towards my wife, i.e. like an extension of me and an extent, like you're disrespecting me versus like, you're trying to support me as a person, you know? Like, so you, because this whole situation has become about these two niggas and it's not about Jada.
01:52:05
Speaker
I'm not even going to say joke because that is what he would call it. It's not about the fucked up thing that that nigga allowed to be uttered out of his mouth and then afterwards say it's a joke and that was a nice one. That is the part that nobody's unpacking how he says something.
01:52:25
Speaker
saw the reaction was fucked up, not just for Jada, but other people. You hear how other people are like- And they just do that all the time. And then he says, that's a nice one. And that is the precursor to what happens and nobody's acknowledging how he was justifying some goofy shit.
01:52:45
Speaker
And also giving his weird-ass moment afterwards, I'm like, shut up, because I know you coming out here. Not Diddy coming out here shucking a job. Diddy said what? After the slap happened. Number one, who had a show on to say anything? Who asked? Girl, I was like, Sean. All the Diggans. All the Diggans came through and started talking to him. The only person I gave a fuck about was Samuel Jackson, the way that he was doing it.
01:53:15
Speaker
I'm also like, I feel like I'm so fucked.
01:53:22
Speaker
I'm tired. I was just gonna say the only I feel like two things can be true. I feel like it is very valid for for Will or for Jada to have slapped the shit out of that nigga because violence is necessary sometimes. But also like it is okay. Violence is met with violence. So that's curious. But also it is okay for Jada to be like
01:53:43
Speaker
i actually didn't want that and that made me uncomfortable or like maybe you know like the aftermath knowing the aftermath of all of the bullshit that this would have caused she would have been like i don't want that or like i could do this for myself or whatever because you could also perfectly be like i actually don't want you to use violence every time i'm disrespected because
01:54:02
Speaker
Like you said, it's like an ego thing sometimes for niggas where they're like, oh, you, you like said this thing to my girl. And so like now as a nigga, I have to like defend my own. And it's like, no, because you had the audacity to disrespect what's mine or what's in front of me ownership or like you own someone. And I'm like, Jada can be like, actually, I don't want that energy.
01:54:26
Speaker
I'm smacking. Oh, she's going to make me sick. She's like, I'm going to make her myself. I'm going to make her myself. The first thing that really got me was the screaming part afterwards that I was just like, the smack? I don't give a fuck. But then it started getting more centered. I definitely would have been defeated in that moment. I would have been like, she was like. She was like. He was like open now. Because she saw him get up. And her face was like.
01:54:55
Speaker
And then I come back and she was like, and I was watching him yell and she's just like, the funniest part is after he says it the first time. And then she goes like she's, she's
01:55:12
Speaker
probably a little in shock that she's so like at close proximity to what is happening. But then when she hears the ending sentiment, she's like, right. Well, right. Okay. I'm still, we got the video and this might be called Andrew Garfield recreated after he left. He was leaving and he was recreated. Like what happened with like, I think like his publicist, like some people that were like outside. He was like, yeah, he was like,
01:55:41
Speaker
He was so messy. Oh my god. Also us, Andrew. Also us. I would have been Zendaya tweeting through it. Like, girl, oh my god. I was like, this is it. No, I did Zendaya tweeting through it. She did it. She did it. But I remember when the Zoe Kravitz thing happened, and I remember one girl tweeted. She added Zendaya, and she was like, bitch, you better not say nothing.
01:56:05
Speaker
Number one, Zendaya was more focused and more excited. Okay, let me make sure I get the word shows right. Megan performed at the Oscars. Megan performed at the Oscars. Yes, she performed at the Oscars. And she acknowledged Zendaya at the Oscars. She was, and she was excited about it. Zendaya was excited about it. She was like, fuck these niggas. Megan was right there. Right, Megan is the piece of hay. She's the piece of hay.
01:56:27
Speaker
Right. She asked me if I wanted to open for her on her tour. And I was like, open for her. I ain't got no music. I ain't got no music. That's what I'm worried about. Y'all, OK. They went to a fun topic together. This was the last topic. Other than that, I'm like, girl, let's stop talking about this. But also, y'all need to stop. Just stop talking about these people. Leave these people alone. Please. Please. And thank you.
01:56:51
Speaker
Also,
Closing Remarks
01:56:52
Speaker
put your name in the universe. I'm also flabbergasted because Bria said she was supposed to be leaving at four. Yeah. I said I was trying to get ready at four. That's why I'm trying to like wrap it up. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's, let's wrap it up y'all. It's been a good, it's been a good, this has been a, this has been a long recording. Hopefully this is going to be a really cute moment, but we had a,
01:57:12
Speaker
Erin, we're gonna have to go. Erin, please. I had a moment. I almost cried on camera twice. A bitch is starving. I had to order my food. But we recovered. We got it. It's been a rough day for us. It's been a rough day. So anything else? Just closing last thing's comments. Girl, now I'm ready to go. I'm hungry. Bye.
01:57:36
Speaker
All right. Not the abrupt sign off. No, let's ease it out. Let's have a little bit more ease and gentleness. I too am ready to go eat something. Yeah. I'm gonna go get a bacon egg and cheese. Girl. Go have a tie on the New York subway. But yeah, I guess that's it.
01:58:02
Speaker
Cute. Sounds like fun. Right. It's been cute. It's been fun. My your business is y'all. See y'all next time. Bye.