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Ep 106: Ticks
68 Plays2 months ago
A direct-to-video early 90s oddity starring a little baby Seth Green, Alfonso Ribeiro (yes Carlton himself) as a street tough named Panic, Clint Howard and a whole cast of nobodies! A group of troubled and misfit teens go on a camping trip with a youth group to commune with nature and find some peace, but the local pot farmers are using a dangerous chemical on their crops that leads to football-sized flesh eating ticks terrorizing the camp and the entire town! TICKS pays homage to the monster movies of the 1950s while upping the level of goop and bloodshed massively!
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Transcript
Introduction to Halloween Horror Fest
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back. It's our Halloween Horror Fest, and this week, I'm infested! I'm Derek. I'm Winnie. I'm Jack. This is Bad Movies. Worst People.
Humor and Stereotypes Around Drug Use
00:00:42
Speaker
What is on your face? What's on your shirt? It's just my face. Why is there things on you? Dude, I literally, you can ask Jack, the whole time watching this movie, I swear to God, I felt like shit was growing on me. Yeah, that's the meth. That's just the meth. Cleanest house on the block, though. I would not look like this if I was on meth. I mean, like... You've been missing a lot of teeth. No. Yeah. That's how meth works. I've seen movies. I mean, I used to do meth.
00:01:10
Speaker
I used to. I still do, but I used to too. No, I'm just kidding. I do not. But I still have a pretty smile. Yeah. Because you stopped at the right time. Did I? Yeah. Well, unless you're like micro dosing and fucking meth, which has never been a thing anyone can actually do. I was adamant about brushing my teeth.
00:01:27
Speaker
I only micro dose on meth. I do. it i I do. I do a little hit 14 times a day. I micro dose heroin. It's fine. it' I got a controlled thing. It's funny. It always starts with energy and you're like, you know what? I like this meth giving us to everybody. No
The Art of Naming Movies
00:01:40
Speaker
one's ever done anything bad on meth. Heil Hitler. Heil Hitler, buddy. You can howl me better than that. Come on.
00:01:47
Speaker
Japanese started it this week. We're discussing 1993's Also known as infested not a better title. Nope. Not a better title. That's why ticks is cooler. Yeah, I'm sure it was like a some executive was like infested sure That's a thing but ticks sounds like jaws. Yeah, that's probably what it was. Well, no jaws was actually Well, Jaws was in the 70s. Yeah, Jaws is. said But I just mean like some executive was like, this will sell better. It says yeah monster in the title. It seems like you can't have a B ah film horror movie without multiple working titles because Tremors was a couple of different things, yeah too. Yeah, true. That's less horror. This was actually released under infested at one point. though Oh, there was Jean-Claude style movie. Yeah, there was also um Watch Out or Else We'll Get Mad.
00:02:38
Speaker
The difference with that one, though, was that's an Italian-American movie. Like, it had different titles depending where you were. Yeah. Probably a translation issue. Okay. Now, how about I Come in Peace? Or what was the... I think that one came down to... Other movies called Dark Angel. Dark Angel. There was already a movie called Dark Angel. So... Yeah, and it was one of your prostitute killing movies, wasn't it?
00:03:00
Speaker
No, that's just Angel. Oh, sorry. And it's a killer prostitute. It's a killer prostitute, not a prostitute. You tell me no prostitutes die. I'm sure prostitutes die. I don't remember. Prostitutes die
Exploring 'Infested' Movie Details
00:03:10
Speaker
every day, man. But this movie is available if you'd like to watch it before we talk more. Oh.
00:03:15
Speaker
on Prime Video for free. OK. You can rent it on Amazon for one dollar or buy it for three, but that's in standard definition. Don't do that. Or you can pull a me and you can buy it from Vinegar Syndrome on 4K for $32.99. And there's only like three hundred and something copies left. when Oh, my God. This is a fucking like home shopping. Hurry, act now. We're going to run out. It's only three hundred dollars. $299. Oh my God, we're already at 297. Somehow we're at 304 now. People have been returning them, which is not allowed. Why are we showing these numbers? This is not a good sales tactic. People are canceling their orders. This guy made a copy and sent us both. But it's in glorious 4K ultra high definition. And it does need it because we are going to talk
Clint Howard's Hollywood Legacy
00:04:00
Speaker
probably in detail about how delightful these special effects are. Yes. A shining spot in this movie. So it was directed by a guy named Tony Randall, not the odd actor, but the director, the director. He didn't do. He didn't act an odd. ah Was it odd coupled and decide to make ticks 30 years later, fucking whatever years later? You know, no, but that wouldn't be that weird. and He changed his last name by spelling only bo the odd couple with ah Matthew Perry and somebody else. Oh, yeah. The guy from Reno 911. Yeah. Tom Lennon John Lennon Tom Lennon Tom Lennon Yeah, John Lennon's the shitty singer. Oh, yeah, and Tom. I'm gonna catch smoke for that. Yeah I plead the fifth. Oh Your dog sees a ghost or a tick wait till you live with a cat that looks at something in the room that you can't see and then runs away I'm like, well, we're dying this is how we go i mean did you see a giant say what happens supposed to be my familiar
00:04:55
Speaker
scar way you left me is fucking chm i just need to be faster than yous yeah take hands leave me those juicy lips though i'm go to eat them open that cupboard though god But so this is directed by Tony Randall, not the actor, who also directed Hellraiser to Hellbound yeah and Fist of the North Star, which was a 90s movie based on a Japanese anime. I don't think I know the 90s movie, but that as an anime title sounds very familiar. I've been told about the anime by multiple people that it's really cool. ah i believe I haven't watched it. But friend of the show bleep is it got me into some early on some fucking Fantastic animes the ones I can't like voices of a distant star. I think is one. I don't know yeah do well we'll talk I can't tell you that when I was looking this stuff up ah Fist of the North Star had like a three point something on IMDb. Okay, so it's probably not great Yeah, I don't necessarily trust IMDb ratings, but a three point something is usually I like letterbox cuz it's like it's a three star out of ten But it gets a heart
00:05:54
Speaker
Yeah, like there's caveats to that rating system. I like it. I like caveats. And this was written by a guy named Brent Friedman. Sorry, he said not caviar. This is written by a guy named Brent Friedman, who also wrote Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Shouldn't be proud. Some of Rebels and Clone Wars. I'm happy about that. Who was the concept by?
00:06:14
Speaker
The concept was by a guy named Doug Beswick, who's also the special effects supervisor. It did make me laugh at the very end. It's like based on ah an idea. why I have a concept of a script. I have the idea of a plan. He wrote a script 20 years earlier called Cycle of Blood that eventually became this. So it's it's not period, right? so Nope. It's not that cycle of blood. It's not cycles of blood either. I mean, that would be awesome to see motorcycles of blood. I would watch it. I think I've seen that. We watched this show called Blood Drive. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Derek's actually pitched it to me a lot. It's a great. It makes it sound good. You guys have a regular that comes in that looks exactly like this actor. I even stopped him and I was like, excuse me. Just show him a pic. Is this you? I was like, you look exact. He's like, oh, my God, that is me. But does Doug does? Does Bezwick. Does Bezwick. Doug Bezwick did special effects on a lot of cool movies. He did some stuff for Aliens, Terminator, The Howling, Ghostbusters, Dark Man, Empire Strikes Back, Gremlins 2, The New Batch, Blade and a movie called Dr. Mordred that we will talk about one day. I've been talking about it since before we started this. I was like,
00:07:31
Speaker
We're doing this as our first episode. Derek was talking about this before anyone was listening. We had a microphone. I was telling Whitney before I recorded the first one. He's just in the shower. Dr. Mordred. Yeah. i He tells me a lot of things. and I know. A lot of it is in and out, man. I know. Usually you don't listen to us when we're talking. You have to wait till we record it. is Derek has this podcast so you can listen to him.
00:07:52
Speaker
pretty much well this is the part where I'm just like twiddle my thumbs and just she's my wife so she doesn't listen to his wife my wife
Alfonso Ribeiro and Typecasting
00:08:02
Speaker
no phenomenal special effects too yeah um no one in this movie is bad especially by B movie horror films, we're used to getting some really wretched performances. And this is not that. This is maybe borderline flat, but not bad. um Seth Green, who's in this movie, does a decent job, especially for the age I think he's at. He's like 17. Carlton himself, dude, Alfonso Ribeiro,
00:08:30
Speaker
is probably given the best performance. Because he's trying to get out of the Carlton. Yeah, but he's not going to ever. You're not going to. Rainn Wilson. No, he embraces it now. Rainn Wilson as fucking Dwight Schrute. Never get rid of it. Never gonna get rid of it. Who else? It's even up to this. Tony Hale. So Jason Sudeikis, everybody knows him and his other things, but he is now Ted Lasso.
00:08:52
Speaker
But I don't think that that A, went on long enough and B, is that absurd of a character to have him not, I can see Sudeik is doing something else. I mean, I love him as we are the Millers. I just watched him in post, I think it's post Malone. No, I think it's post Ted Lasso. He does a movie where he's the coach for Jesse Owens.
00:09:13
Speaker
So the sprint the sprinter so I mean he's playing Ted lasso's what you're saying because he's a coach But he's slightly raised
Rainn Wilson's Career Highlights
00:09:20
Speaker
in another country um But no he goes did he goes to London. It's very different The Olympics were in London that year. Damn it, it is Ted Lasso. Fuck. He's got no mustache. ah Suck it. And we've we've talked about this previously, but I told you that Wilson Rain. What the fuck? Rain Wilson. Rain Wilson. Dwight. I'll never remember. Yeah, I got it. Dwight Schrute, which I didn't even watch The Office that much, and I can't think of him as not Dwight. So right that's that guy. Exactly. Because there's so many great memes with him. He owns that fucking character. Yes, he does. He puts on a clinic of how to be a character actor. Him and Steve Carello are the people I remember from watching the show. Yeah. Well, yeah. The the episodes I did watch. John Krumpschke. Yep. That's really close. Krumpschke. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I said.
00:10:05
Speaker
John Kravopoulos. Nope. John Kravopoulos. I said Krumpski, which is really close. Your honor, her defense is a well ah little bit weak here. um She is trying to say Krasinski is the same as Krumpski, and I'll rest my case. i mean She's saying as long as it's Polish, it's fine. She is saying that all names that end with a ski sound like your honor.
00:10:28
Speaker
And we in the South are not known for such prejudice, but so I would like to say that all Polish people do not look alike. I had told you that Rainn Wilson did a movie called Super that was directed by James Gunn, where he plays a superhero wannabe, kick-ass ask. And you were making this argument about how certain people are always going to be the same character. And I was like, no, there's this guy. And then I started talking about him. I'm like, he dresses up in a costume, and he beats people down to the pipe wrench, and he hangs out with Elliot Page. And then I was like, wait. ah No, that's Dwight. That's just a Schrute spin-off. Yeah. It's him after the office. That's that's him when the paper company gets my job Like print is dead the paper company gets shut down and now he's like well I guess I'm just gonna beat criminals to death with a pipe wrench. I finally snapped ah Tell me he fucking oh my gee beats criminals cuz he was a beet farmer in the office It all comes back
00:11:26
Speaker
But no, Alfonso Roberto, who's doing better in this movie than anybody
Clint Howard's Horror Film Presence
00:11:30
Speaker
else, you're Carlton. And I'm sorry. You're just Carl. Well, he's not sorry anymore because he does own it now. He's like he's because he can't get anything else. And it doesn't it doesn't hurt or doesn't help the performance, which is good, in my opinion, that the writing is trash. Yeah. Like the writing of his character is bad. He's doing the best he can with what he's got, and he is trying to break out from that role because Fresh Prince is going on simultaneous leads to this, I think we talk talked about. So he's he does he knows he's about to get typecast. He's about to get Urkel. Urkel's another fucking big one. Urkel's the fun. Jaleel White, yeah I believe is the actor's name. i yeah He's done a bunch of different stuff now that he's older, but he's voice he's yeah unrecognizable and he's husky. He's the voice of song to Hedgehog in the original cartoon.
00:12:14
Speaker
Oh, in the original cartoon. of yeah I was like, oh, good for him. Good for him. Good for you. The cartoon is better than that. Fucking the real cartoon. Never saw it. Yeah. Fresh Prince was 90 to 96. Yeah. This is midstt the midst. The midst. And the throws. But like I watched a special feature documentary on this disc when I first got it. So not recently. as I don't remember details.
00:12:37
Speaker
But they talked about the special effects and these ticks they made, they had a handful of them. They didn't make a lot because it's a small budget. It's only two million dollars. Yeah, which is shoestring at best. Yeah, they had some that are stop motion. We see in there for sure. And we see puppets for sure. But there's also the ones with like the swarms of ticks where they're all on the ground and they're like running at the people. And it's like those little spiders that you pump in the little pom-pom. The pom-pom. Like the pneumatic spider kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not pneumatic because it doesn't have the fluid. Maybe it's vacuum.
00:13:07
Speaker
But you pump the air and fluid. You pump it. Well, isn't it because you have pneumatic fluid like pneumatic brake systems and stuff, right? Isn't that that big? Like the bank fucking is that pneumatic tubes? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm very I don't want to be talking about what pneumatic means just in case you weren't listening. I'm not an engineer or a mechanic. So I don't know anything about I just know fancy words for fucking sucky to where you pump the thing like a blood pressure cuff pump. Yeah, exactly. And it goes.
00:13:34
Speaker
And that's exactly what those are when there's a bunch of them running across the ground. They're just having like little. po So they got to be like they got to have like little things in the eye. Yeah. Because they you see they're running on top of and there's like steadily one button, like one big air thing to make all of these. go Yeah. Or probably maybe they have them on like chains. So there's they all jump at different times. There was only four on one chain kind of thing.
00:13:55
Speaker
There was only one shot in this movie I didn't like, and it's a very clear CG fire coming out of a window. At this point, probably more of an optical effect, not computer generated. Okay. Like you would see in the 80s. It definitely just took me right out of it. If it was 93, it was probably computer generated, babe.
00:14:13
Speaker
No, this doesn't look CG to me, but it's it's because they're it looks bad to me. It looks bad. It looks like a bad optical effect where they would they would take like a picture of explosion and they would put it on top of film and they'd be like, I'm trying to mansplain movies to you. The wrong person. Exactly. But a mansplain really low budget garbage to you.
00:14:33
Speaker
ah That's my sweet so look around i know i live here I was born into it. You were merely you were merely adapted to bad movies worse people but We'll talk about that scene when we get to it, which will be at the end of the movie. Yeah, ah but so it starts with So ah like there's like a torture chamber grow up going on. Yeah, it's steampunk. It's fucking a door player game it It's Clint Howard growing weed with plant steroids and dispersing it via gerbil-powered Goldberg device, I guess. I mean, I'm assuming because he's in the middle of nowhere. I'm still saying hamster, not gerbil. Who could fucking care? Guinea pig. They both taste delicious. Guinea pig. Not as good. Because it's a huge fucking rat. Yeah, it is big, whatever it is. It's not a rat. And it doesn't have a tail. It's a rodent. Yeah.
00:15:24
Speaker
i Had hamsters when I was even the wheel that is a little adorable ones, though Tiny little hamsters go from this size to that you know what unpopular opinion hamsters are fucking punks, dude fucking hate hampshi' i come try and bite me buck a lot all i know about always always Fucking try and bite me and push the cage The only reason I said they're adorable is because I've seen them in cartoons where they're like little like the squishmallow pillows. Yeah, that's what they look like. They're just sitting there like and they look a little fat things. it just They look adorable. But you wouldn't let Zo have one in here. No, that's disgusting. Smell. He's like, she wouldn't clean the cage. I was like, yeah, probably. wouldn like Look what happened to her dog. Your dog now. I mean, she was my dog that first night. She chose me. I'm sorry. You want a cage full of rats? No, no, I don't. Thank you. No, I mean, I've i've never read. a I've never I've never written a poem.
00:16:13
Speaker
ah Similar to like like trying to riff on like Edgar Allan Poe, so I would never own a rat ok i Can I have one caveat for the rats does one of them turn into splinter yes And I will have rats, but I grew up with hamsters like I had my whole hamster farm half of my room was just tubes and cages I grew up with depression doesn't make it okay I had a friend with the hamster thing with like the tubes and stuff and that's cool But also like his room smelled like Hamster there it is yeah, I grew up watching beast master. I thought I was gonna have ferrets and ferrets fucking stick Oh God ferrets are worse than hamsters so cute poco and cotto This machine is dripping goo onto some kind of sack that we don't know god. It's all just you want to clean it up a little bit take doing try another take it that way okay we never Go on your sack
00:17:01
Speaker
I don't have a fucking podcast about it. Like, it is the size of a testicle. Yeah, it's a really fucking gross one. Is that like what tick sacs look like? Well, they'd be... I don't know. You're the animal expert around here. This is what, like a hundred times larger than a normal one? Well, they end up being, but that first one is like a little tiny one.
00:17:20
Speaker
I don't know what tick larva looks like. I would imagine they come. I want you to Google tick sack and don't be an incognito mode. Please. I'm not. I'm doing that. You're going to get a picture of blue
Seth Green's Role in 'Ticks'
00:17:30
Speaker
balls because it's going to be someone doing from deviant art doing the tech fucking ball sack art. I'm back in. no It's like it's a pulsing yeah orange from Chernobyl. So, I mean, it's more like caviar bulbs.
00:17:46
Speaker
It's actually not far, far off. It's really not far from what a tic sac looks like. Also, look at those fat tics up there. I know. OK, yeah, so because it was I mean, I think it was slightly larger than it would be or they were this really zoomed in, but it ends up being much larger. They get they get what football size? The the sacks. Football size sack. If you got a chick that's into it.
00:18:06
Speaker
But so then we meet ah Tyler Burns, who's played by Seth Green, who will from now on be referred to as Seth Green. Yeah, because I forgot that he had a name. He's barely in this movie. I mean, all the people are barely in this movie. Well, the stars and tie all the time. Yeah. The the fucking stars, the ticks. That's it. Play the symbol. We're here for that. And.
00:18:24
Speaker
A bit of Clint Howard. I think Clint Howard and the tics get the most screen time. That's all I wanted. Yeah, you could have had. You know what? I'm going to say something that would probably be unpopular anywhere besides here. Too many survivors in this movie. Oh, yeah. Way too popular. I mean, that is it. We're going with tropes, right? Yeah. We don't have a black dude i die right away. We don't see anyone die while fucking this. This couple.
00:18:49
Speaker
This couple was a lot of what Didi and rome Romeo just Rome. Rome. She calls him Romeo. They got a lot of people call him Romeo, but he says Rome. Those two should both be dead mid coitus. This movie sets it up that we're going to see that. Yeah. And then spoiler, they all mean basically.
00:19:09
Speaker
bad people die. The black person and the black guy. Oh, we did have a black person die. He was eventually. He wasn't the first, but yeah. But he's Seth Green. Everybody knows Seth Green is right. Austin Powers. I feel like no, I don't know who Seth Green is. I feel like his character in this movie, he barely has any lines, but he's in a lot of the scenes. I feel like he's supposed to be our perspective. What's something I would know Seth Green from?
00:19:31
Speaker
The Italian job. Greg DaBunny. No, never saw it. Family guy. Never saw it. He does all of Robot Chicken. Okay. He's in that rollerblading movie called Airborne. Dead Man on Campus. No, what's the one? Not that. The other one. Idle Hands. Idle Hands. I was trying to get you to say fucking Buffy. Oh, yeah. He's in the second and third season or something. Oh, okay. I've only seen the movie. He ends up becoming a werewolf. Yeah. It's kind of awesome, actually.
00:19:59
Speaker
That's the least
Highlighting Seth Green's Career
00:20:00
Speaker
scary werewolf. He was like the best part of it. I'm like, why can't every guy be like a ginger werewolf that can't go out in the sunlight? Well, he's not a vampire vampire. No, he's a ginger. He's a werewolf. His werewolf is not a ginger. The vampires on that show just have to put like an umbrella up to go in the sun, but he can't even do that. Yeah, he's a ginger. He's like, oh, you think you have a bad because you're vampires. I'm a ginger. Yeah, he ends up dating Willow, Willow, Ginger, the girl, the flute girl from American Pie. Oh, OK. I can't think of her name. She's been in so many other things. Or American Pie. How am I saying my name, bitch? Alison Hannigan. Alison Hannigan. Yes. They end up dating. And I was like, well, that's racist. Yeah. Dude, if I can. There's a puke on the toilet. You don't know who it is. That's before she did before she decides she's a lesbian or discovers that she don't like Ginger's. That's not a preferred. That's our word.
00:20:55
Speaker
So it's like the anagram of another word that I would not say. There is a word in the English language that has a couple of G's and N and R and an E and that you never want to call a person in public and it's ginger.
00:21:12
Speaker
But so he gets dropped off in an abandoned parking lot by his dad. This dad is up there in the top fucking 10 worst ads. He's in downtown L.A. or they're going to like a summer camp. Right. But we don't know that. So it's just like this is for your own good. And he drops them in a parking lot. Get your shit out of the truck. I want to jump ahead real quick to like, because he's having panic attacks. He has anxiety. But we don't know this yet. We don't know why. Well, they show it right at the beginning. It shows it, but it doesn't really explain it. So he's telling, he trauma dumps later on Homegirl and says that when they were, when he was eight, his dad went camping with him and then got drunk and just took off and left him in the fucking forest for days. So he just held a tree until somebody found him and he doesn't remember much else.
00:21:56
Speaker
So I just want to put that out now. And now he hits a bad feeling. He gets woozy anytime something, right before something bad happens. Well, the big reason I want to bring it up because now your dad is like, hey, you had this really weird trauma about being left alone. So I'm going to
Alfonso Ribeiro's Character Complexity
00:22:10
Speaker
dump you in his parking lot until strangers pick you up and take you camping to get over whatever happened when I left you there. Yeah, you're by fire, bitch.
00:22:19
Speaker
Dude, you started the fire. if you yeah This is you. The way this unfolds is like, this is where he meets Alfonso Ribeiro, who's playing a guy named Panic. That's his gangster name. ah Panic, because I never do. oh And it's just Reggie the Reckless all grown up. Yeah, basically. he He gets dropped off in an empty parking lot.
00:22:38
Speaker
Uh, presumably a thug gangster type of guy comes up to him and starts talking shit to him and threatening him. And then a van comes to pick him up and I'm like, none of this equals going to camp. Yeah. This equals your dad just abandoned you in a parking lot. And that's what that you saying this right yeah that's what I thought the dad's like, it's for your own good. And then peels out like this looks like all of his belongings and a bedroll. Like you just made him out of doors. I know. It was like, was he a delinquent child? I have to. Got to wear a girl's panties. Get the fuck out. Now you need to live under a bridge. I have to admit it on the air. So the world knows. But the way he's dressed, sans flannel shirt was how I spent most of high school. There is a word. Yep. T-shirt, army jacket from a surplus store. Hoodie under that hoodie under that fucking. Well, you live in Tucson, so probably not no, no hoodie. Yeah, you know, your oculuses.
00:23:28
Speaker
Um, I guess my my glass my glasses weren't really circle, but they they were the thinner. No, the back then they were the thinner frame, like, yeah, oblong, not circle. I mean, I didn't have glasses back then, but I definitely tried for this hair. The thing is I have hair that grows out, not down. So it was just a mushroom. Oh, and this hair is very similar to the hair I've always had forever. This is the mushroom haircut. This is almost his character in that rollerblading movie called Airborne.
00:23:55
Speaker
I think the airborne was right after. Don't go anywhere for that. Seriously. Talking about fucking fruit booting. So the the van comes and picks them up. Same fucking year as this. Yeah. Woo. He had a big year. He probably got paid a lot for that by comparison to this.
00:24:14
Speaker
Well, there's like eight people in this movie, like eight like star actors, kind of like the people who are at the camp. So if you divide that two million, subtract one point five for effects. So you take that five hundred thousand divided amongst the eight to ten actors in this movie. One of these guys, ah Peter Scolari. I mean, he was in the fucking Bob Newhart show. He was in your favorite movie. He's in that thing you do. Yeah. As of like a fake Ed Sullivan, I guess we'll call it. Yeah, he's the host of the Hollywood Minute or whatever that shit was called. Yeah. um I just wrote TV show host. Troy Chesterfield. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But yeah, so this van picks them up. We meet basically everyone else except for the Asian girl who they decide to introduce halfway through the movie. She's here. Jenny. They show her.
00:25:00
Speaker
But they don't actually introduce her until later. She doesn't say a fucking word. ah Kelly. Kelly. But so we meet ah Holly, who's played by Rosalind Allen. God, this haircut has never fucking worked on anybody. Jamie Lee Curtis does it the best in true lies, but would still look better without it. Yeah. This haircut has done no favors. Oh, you mean the same haircut Seth Greenhouse? It's a little bit shorter. She's got shorter hair than everybody in this movie. Yeah, the chick from Melrose Place wore it better Jane. Yeah. Yeah. But even then it wasn't great because it's not a good haircut. It's not a good haircut. Like even the chicks that pull it off and i'm I'm probably just being a fucking dude, even the chicks that pull it off, I think would look better with longer hair and not like inherently like a whole bunch longer, but.
00:25:47
Speaker
Longer than that? Yeah. Fucking what are you trying to get? Well, now that you have long hair, like you get why you want to just chop it off sometimes, right? No. Fucking love my long hair. I know you love a long hair. I feel like Samson Delilah. Okay. But now that you have long hair, when something really like emotional happens to you, you're going to get bangs. No, I'm dead inside, girl. It's past that phase. I'm past that phase. We also meet Charles and Melissa Danson. Danson. I saw her dancing with myself. So Charles is Peter Scolari. Yeah, he was in Bob Newhart or he was in Newhart. Sorry, the later show. He's in that show, Evil, that you watched. Wife. He was a priest. Oh, she was saying that as you said it. And then Virginia Keene, who spells both those names wrong.
00:26:34
Speaker
King sure spell Virginia the way she does I are g-i-n-y-a. Oh, that's wrong and then K-E-E-H-N-E. That's just Irish for you. Virginia, Virginia Kane. I've got the Kane, Virginia. Both her and the lady that played Holly were in silk stockings at some point. Virginia was in Renegade, but the last season, so Jack's not there yet. I was going to say, that's the woman he wears a wig. Oh, and that's the daughter, right? Yeah, the daughter. Virginia. She's also in Pump Up the Volume, and she's in The Dentist. Pump Up the Volume.
00:27:10
Speaker
I have. Have you seen The Dentist? Yeah, I have it. OK. On Blu-ray. Of course you do. The Dentist one and two. Oh, God. Why? Corbin Burnson. Why are you? Because. OK. It's like you're retorting. We're going to bring it over and watch it at your house. That's fair. And then Dee Dee. That way I can't leave. Dee Dee and Rome pull up in their Beamer. Dee Dee is played by Amy Dolan's, who is in Can't Buy Me Love. That's it. She's got it. She also spells Amy wrong, by the way. Am I? She's got to be like one of one of the friends. Yeah. One of the rich, popular blonde girls. I like this dude, Rome. He pulls up in the Beamer and he's like, see that stops on a dime. How much this thing, how much your dad says cost? I don't know. The IRS paid for it. Well, he said it was so cheap. I told him to get me one. He said, yeah, I'll buy it. As long as you drive to Mexico. Do I look Mexican? Seth Green's like, yeah, yeah. Because it's 90s, dude. You got brown skin. You're Mexican. It's L.A. too. Yeah, it's L.A. too. I mean, I mean, Rome. He looks sort of Italian or something. Sort of. Sort of Rican. Yeah. So they have to go commune with the wilderness. That's the idea there. Without mushrooms? Yeah, apparently. Well, don't worry. There's a bag of blue pills. Don't worry. They'll get their hallucinogens in the mountains. That's right. Man, talk about commuting with nature. Leave that bag of blue at home. We cut back to the murder grow up, and that's where we finally see Clint Howard, who plays Jarvis Tanner. Clint Howard. Wait, where'd you get his name? Race. Rance? Rance says it. Oh, okay, yeah. By the way, I looked it up. Rance might be short for Lawrence. No, it's Rancid, we know. Lawrence, okay.
00:28:52
Speaker
Lawrence. Lawrence. Hi, Lawrence. Just call me. He didn't want to be called Laurie. No, who does? Maybe Laurie Metcalf. Probably. Yo, I am in the mood for like a really juicy IPA and I don't see any in the fridge. Yeah, I think I'm all out, but I do know a place we can go get some more. Let's go to the Arizona Beer House. Arizona Beer House. They have 34 taps. There's like almost 800 cans and bottles that you can drink in-house or take to go. And it's conveniently located at Broadway and Cove, 150 South Cove in Tucson, Arizona. I'll tell you what, I'd tap that. Let's head down to Arizona Beer House right now. Let's go. I'll drive. First pint's on me, guys. All right.
00:29:32
Speaker
By the way, Clint Howard, we've mentioned him a little bit. I've talked about him in the past. I love Clint Howard. I love Clint Howard. Clint Howard is the son of Rance Howard,
Howard Family Connections in Hollywood
00:29:40
Speaker
the brother of Ron Howard and the uncle of Bryce Howard. Bryce Dallas Howard. There we go.
00:29:48
Speaker
Save that for the Star Wars podcast. Yeah, because she directed some episodes of The Mandalorian. She was in Spider-Man. She was. She's an actress also. Was she Felicita? Felicita? Felicia Harding? Was she be setting up to play play Black Cat? I don't remember. No, she was MJ. No, MJ. She wasn't MJ. She was in The Amazing. She was... I don't know. Wasn't she Garfield? I don't remember. No, that wasn't her. That was Emma Stone. No, no, no, that's that's MJ. She is in the Andrew Garfield one and it's ah Gwen Stacy. Gwen Stacy. Gwen Stacy is Emma Stone. Okay, no, it is Tobey Maguire. yeah Okay, so she's not playing MJ. She's playing a Blondie. I mean, she might be playing MJ, but that's not the one where he's getting with her yet, because he got with Gwen first.
00:30:26
Speaker
and I know. I know that. Yeah. When dies. Spoiler. Spoiler for comics from the 60s. But Clint Howard's been in a bunch of movies ah that we'll talk about. We saw him on Hantuk shots first and solo. Uh huh.
00:30:42
Speaker
But he was in The Wraith with Charlie Sheen, filmed here in Arizona. So don't change the dial on that one. We'll get there. She was playing Gwen. ah He was in he was in the movie Ice Cream Man, which we will talk about in future Halloween horror fest. He plays ah an ice cream man, the titular ice cream weird who murders people. It's fun. I mean, dude if I was an ice cream man, there'd be so many dead kids. Oh, he'd murder so many kids. yeah It's a good time. One fucking bad day. It's such a dumb movie, but it's it's fun. Yeah. You know, like most of the movies I own. You've got a type. yeah Yeah. Not your wife. I'm not calling your wife dumb and fun, by the way. I mean. Fun, but not dumb. Sometimes I am. No, you just got big, dummy energy. You're not you're not dumb. You just got dummy moments. There was that one that one year on the the movie game we did that I fucking Oh, there was that one year of my life. I was really dumb. But I got over that. I think I just had mono. No, I just had a kid. It was fine. You had mommy brain. We've also seen him before on this show. We have talked about him before. i we We were talking about it earlier and I couldn't remember. He was in that thing you do. Oh, that's right. He's the DJ. He's the DJ. Yeah, that's right. And one night I stayed up till midnight. And speaking of the dentist, he's in the dentist too. Oh, electric boogaloo.
00:32:00
Speaker
Worked for everything with the two on it. I'm sorry the dentist to electric root canal. I just dropped it number two the stinky boogaloo Usually, but he's he's fucking with his goop machine and it's making things goopier. That's all that's really going on We know we know later. It's a fucking plant steroid, but yeah, yeah right now It's just like oh gloops and blops, but he's got this beautiful feather earring. I didn't know I needed one of these I smoke a lot of weed and I need a feather earring, I think. Well, and he's listening to like a BBC World Report about like the secret industry of America or something. It's about weed. And it's talking about all these people who do it, who are like growing shit like old hippies and whatever. It says Vietnam veterans. I have a feeling that's supposed to be him because he's like extra crazy. And this he does say phrase he's like, yeah, and we don't get dental because he's he's lumping him in himself in with who they're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. So yes, he's a Vietnam vet in this movie. um And then with so with the the group of campers, but we didn't mention panic Alfonso Roberto has a dog with him named Brutus Brutus or brew ah This beautiful border collie. Is that what it is? I was wondering I know what i I know that your wife is right. It's just like to me I'm like, I don't know. It's a healer a shepherd dog. It's a it's a working dog. It's a border collie. It's part of her It's it's one of them ones that'll like herd shit, right? bordercutter I don't you're saying that as if I know anything Okay, my mom had the dogs book like a book of all dogs and I read that called the doctionary and I read that I can pretty much like name dogs when I see him I can name him too Yeah
00:33:39
Speaker
I texted her the other day because I was watching A Boy and His Dog, which I think I talked about on the last episode. And I texted her. I was like, what is this dog? And she's like, sheepdog. And I was like, well, I knew that. I thought it had like a breed name. No, it was it's called an English Sheepdog. I was thinking about the dog from ah Looney Tunes ahhu with the wolf when they both check in and check out. Sheepdog. Yeah, I just thought it maybe had like a breed name that wasn't just sheepdog. Also the dog from, oh, God, it was a Tim Allen movie.
00:34:07
Speaker
I don't know. Like the Shaggy Dog or some shit? The Shaggy Dog. It's a Disney remake. He didn't start that, I believe. No, but they had a... Yes, the one with Dick Van Dyke is a better sheepdog. Of course. Well, because it doesn't have Tim Allen. Any movie that has a version with Tim Allen and without Tim Allen without is better. What's the other version? But all I'm saying is that the dog, like he'd be terrible on set with a dog because he'd be like, oh, the dog would run away. We can't get this dog dog to stop cocking its head to the side. Oh, what is that fucking noise? What made that movie terrible? The dog was Tim Allen.
00:34:42
Speaker
Yes, but also they put Tim Allen's face on the dog. Like they. That's that's their shit. That's a nightmare as well. I'm just going to say, well, they see g his eyes and like it. Oh, what the fuck was that? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, it's the worst Jason baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:35:03
Speaker
I want you to, I want you to start the car and get outside and put it in reverse. I'm going to jump in as fast as I can. Oh, go, go, go.
00:35:14
Speaker
and whoa oh oh cook Yes. But so Brutus Brutus has a tick. Yes. Never forget. Tim Allen is a snitch. Yeah. Snitches. Unlike ah Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart did a fucking time, dude. Fucking yes, she did. She's a bad ass snoop. Or still to this day. Good friends. Snoop did less jail time. He's done zero.
00:35:36
Speaker
he He would. Well, I mean, it depends on what you if you're in a old murder might have been the case they gave him. He was in jail for that, but now he didn't get convicted, but he was held eating. He didn't serve a sentence. No, but he she did. She served a sentence. And that's why, you know what? You're an open ship. If Martha Stewart came out tomorrow, the teardrop on her eye, I would love it. A teardrop tattoo right there. I'm gonna spoiler alert this, the prison she was in,
Celebrity Scandals: Martha Stewart vs. Tim Allen
00:36:00
Speaker
not a lot of people getting shanked. Oh, I'm believing that, yeah. The prison she was in had like down down pillows and shit. Javis, could you would you mind sharpening my toothbrush into a shank? I must stab a bitch.
00:36:14
Speaker
But so Brutus has a tick, Seth Green has the solution. He's like, they're too tough to squish. So he lights this motherfucker on fire and it explodes on his face. which I hope anybody out there listening, especially people in the South, I think ticks are more apparent. Yes. Yes. You can squish those.
00:36:31
Speaker
You have to know you can squish them if they're filled with blood. If not, it's really hard to fucking. He's saying they're too tough. I think it's just that they're so small that you can squish them, but they're going to they can flatten themselves as a abortion and an hand. Yeah, because they're bulbous already. All right. That's true. They're very flat.
00:36:47
Speaker
Ticks are very flat. I mean, even the giant ones to scale, you imagine that thing smaller, it's flat. They're only like, they're like small hamburgers. They're like a McDonald's hamburger. It turns out I know very little about ticks. What I know about ticks, I learned from this movie. Go ahead. When they're on your dog, you're supposed to strike a match and then like blow it out and then put the heated sulfur part of the match onto the tick and then it'll release the head and then you can pull it. Because we talked about it while watching this. If you pull a tick out by the body, the head stays and it's stuck in whatever animal or person. No, it's alive still. You've just pulled that sack off. It'll just grow. You don't want to pull a sack off, especially if it's goopy. It grows another sack.
00:37:32
Speaker
That's pretty impressive. That's like a sex. A lucky dog. Why did Doc Connor fuck with lizards then? He should have fucked with ticks. Because somebody that looks like a tick is less endearing and redeemable than somebody that looks like a lizard. I mean, but yeah. Sewer Alligator, New York, it made more sense, right? He looks like a sewer alligator. He does. Not in the movie. He looks fucking stupid, but. ah the the The amazing Spider-Man. Yeah, yeah. One.
00:37:57
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Because who's the one with that stupid kid? They all have to end up playing the Green Goblin. Oh yeah. Jamie Foxx playing Electro. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I can't remember that kid's name. He's in stuff. I saw Jamie Foxx was probably going to be playing spawn and then the reboot that's finally happening. And my first thought was. I think Michael J. White looks good enough. My first thought was Spider-Man, Amazing Spider-Man 2. And I was like, oh no. Yeah.
00:38:22
Speaker
With a movie like that, if I'm in charge of rebooting Spawn, which I don't think Spawn is a sacred of movie to not reboot. I don't think you need a comedian to do it. You don't need a big name. You need somebody that looks the part and can fight. That's why the parts of Spawn that work is Michael Jai White is a fucking badass, dude. Yeah. And that that works. He's got the great voice for it, too. What doesn't do well in that movie is, I guess, arguably the script and the CG at the end.
00:38:44
Speaker
And Michael Douglas isn't great. Is Michael Douglas? No. Martin Sheen. Martin Sheen. Martin Sheen. He looked the same. Not an intimidating bad guy. Tell me Michael Douglas and Martin Sheen aren't the same guy, though. One of them. He definitely is out of Jones. I doubt it. And one of them. That's how he got a father to Charlie. That's how he got throat cancer. Yeah. That's not a joke. That's what happened. Yeah. HPV motherfucker.
00:39:08
Speaker
So speaking of HPV, we meet these two rednecks who are running around the woods. Jerry and I didn't get either of these guys names because neither of them has an IMDB photo. Hot public vagina. ah Neither of these guys has an IMDB photo, so they weren't in anything. So we have Jerry and we have Sir.
00:39:23
Speaker
Sir, what? Just sir. Oh, that's a bummer. You can call me sir. I'm going to fight this guy as soon as he says that. Hi, I'm Jack. ah You can call me, sir. I'm not going to. And that is such a but like they don't touch on it in this, but that is such a fucking subdom relationship. Oh, it is him him and Jerry's got a whip. And guess what? He whips himself. Yeah. No, sir. Tells him to the first time he pulls this thing out and he tries to like what if I was like that boy does not know he's holding it so far away from his face. Oh, don't come back.
00:39:54
Speaker
the first person in this movie to drop a hard fbo and I don't know. He's repeat after me like I'm a friendly. He's like, yeah, you are friendly. Yeah, I haven't written down here, not the full way, but I haven't written down with a capital F. ah Oh, just he's like, say yes, sir. You're a and friend. law um And he says, yes, sir. You're an F bomb. He said. And then they beat the fucking shit out of him. Yeah.
00:40:28
Speaker
But yeah, I mean, so the first person to drop that is the insecure and their sexuality person who is actually gay and is trying to. It's not the 80s, but it is 92. You're still not allowed to openly. Is the one that is the the insecure, right? No, no, Jerry, you Jerry. jerry because Well, Jerry's the one dropping the hard F. Yeah, Jerry's the one who drops it. Jerry is just an ignorant backwoods boy.
00:40:50
Speaker
getting F'd in the A by an S. Yes. Because Jerry is, I followed completely by the way. I speak Jackanism. Because Jerry is all about Charlie's daughter. I think I'm speaking Jackanese. I think I'm speaking Jackanese. I really think so. Jerry is, that's what's happening right here. Jerry is creeping on Charlie's daughter, Melissa. Who we can we can say is probably about 12, 13 and not actress wise. No. Actress wise, probably like 17, 18, but not making it better. She's supposed to be a young teenager and he's creeping on her. But since he's the sub in the relationship, he's not. Sir is the one that's banging him. So he's the one looking for someone else to. Oh, I don't think so. I think Sir is dominant until he's like, all right, now you stick it in me right now, Billy. Well, yeah, because he told him what to do. Exactly. That's all dumb. I'm saying exactly. That's what I'm saying. So you're agreeing with us in a violent manner. Jerry's just high on these fumes from the fields and he's like, I'm going to do what you tell me to do. Jerry is high in his own supply. Dick is getting wet. Either way, Jerry is basically Junior from that Friday, the 13th movie we just watched. Which one do we just fucking watch? Part five. New beginning. And who is Junior and Junior is the one with the dirt bike. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So I forgot what we just fucking watched. Well, it's not a memorable movie. No, it wasn't. But yeah, hopefully we do go. We go back to the the goop cabin. Back to the stabbing cabin and we get tick vision. We have.
00:42:29
Speaker
This tick creeping around, watching Clint Howard do shit, and it goes over and attacks the guinea pig hamster gerbil. We just did Patreon fucking trimmers, and same thing, we're getting a POV of this thing. Yeah. I love it. Exactly. But this is one of my most laugh out loud moments in the whole movie. It's a T-O-V, by the way. Tremors of view. Of view? Just TV. Ticks of view. Oh, ticks of view. Point of tick? Yeah, P-O-T. Tick of order. Oh, it's P-O-T, it's pot farm.
00:42:58
Speaker
It's all right there. But this is one of my favorite laugh at loud moments. Laugh out loud moments in this movie is Clint Howard walking over to his like guinea pig gerbil hamster. And it's been it's been turned inside out and he just picks it up and he's like, dude, you're all messed up. ah You're not worried what did this. You're not. You're just we're just going to put this mangled corpse down.
00:43:19
Speaker
He thinks that he ran his little heart out. Inside out? Yep. One of these giant ticks jumps out, startles him, and he steps into a bear trap that he's been setting up. Because as soon as he's setting up, it's like, well, you're going to go into that. Yeah. I don't know how yet. It could be your head. It could be your leg. It's your leg. Yeah, it's just his leg. He's sitting there. Just his leg in a bear trap. It's just his balls.
00:43:40
Speaker
There's a shot where they're like, just look like you're, the director's like, just look like you're fucking with it. And it looks like he's trying to like, experience it. It's when Guardian Levios saw. I look at Jack, I'm like, yeah, that's him really working on it. He's just like, doo doo doo. All right, Derek might not be able to answer this. What class is Clint Howard teaching at Hogwarts?
00:44:04
Speaker
Ooh, okay. I mean, I'm thinking potions. He's just in a dark dungeon. No, he's got to be the dark arts because every new teacher is dark arts. Well, I'm not saying he's new. I'm just saying like by the looks. He's doing potions in hearing this. yeah Maybe that's my influence. yeah ah Dark arts and potions. Dark potion art. Is there like an animal man seed class? Oh, there is ah ah Hagrid teaches it.
00:44:30
Speaker
magical creatures and how to care for them. Oh, okay. Yeah. So there you go. Uh, but so we go back to the cabin. There's a goop sack in the closet. It looks, this is the bigger goop sack. This is exactly what I would do. This is very reminiscent of because this guy did aliens, I'm sure it's very reminiscent of the alien, the face hugger pods. It doesn't have the thing on the ground that like comes around it, you know, it holds it.
00:44:53
Speaker
But it's the it's the pod inside just hanging off the wall. It's a cocoon. And Seth Green is stabbing the shit with a hair. Tell me you wouldn't abort this, though. I wouldn't. I would have ran. Yeah, Jack said. And I'm packing my shit and going. I'm the most boring character in a horror movie. Whitney's over there poking and prodding it. And I'm like, back him up. There we go. Well, you poke it, you squish him, then you leave. No. Poke, squish, leave. No, you leave that for the next person. You burden his cabin down and you give the ashes to to Hephaestus and you say, thank you. May I have another? Okay, I'm hanging out with Jack. I'm not, dude, you ain't gonna gotch me. Like, this is, this is gotcha fucking horror movies and you ain't gotching me. Well, so here's the reality. Unless it's a horror movie taking place in my work or my house or your house, there's a good chance I'm not in that horror movie. Okay, someone comes, someone comes bearing through this door right now. Who's saying me?
00:45:47
Speaker
I'm throwing you in front of whoever comes through that fucking door. You can't throw me. I'm in the corner. Yes, I can. I can climb behind you. A horror movie taking place at your favorite bar. Then you're in trouble. Yeah, but as soon as I get there, I'm going to walk in, see a demon bar team. No, thank you. What's a hot chick? What are you doing later? That's what I'm saying. A hot demon chick would definitely get me. I was like, okay, I will- A succubus, if you will. I've dated him before, dude. He married one. Most of them come from Florida.
00:46:15
Speaker
Anyway. But so we find out from Holly that Charles is doing some kind of experiment that's never really fleshed out. It's never. Yeah, it doesn't come to much because he's really's ah reading. He's dictating to a talkboy, sort of fucking Home Alone 2. Yep. And he's he's like, as I suspected. I think they were just called tape recorders before that movie came out. It definitely was. Talkboy sounds so much cooler.
00:46:39
Speaker
But yeah, he's he's he's like dictating to himself like, well, it's going as well as I thought um and kind of breaks down people. ah Panic is mad at his circumstances. So he's fighting. He's raging against the machine. He does have a ah talk with Holly where she's like, hey, these kids need to have a positive experience as well as your experiment.
00:46:59
Speaker
And then he's like, my daughter needs to say first and foremost, it has to be a good experience for my daughter. But then the rest of the movie, he goes and makes sure that like doesn't happen. yeah just He's like, my dick needs to be inside of Holly. That's it for sure. But at least say that don't make this fucking ah predication of your daughter need to have a good time and then never.
00:47:18
Speaker
try to have fun with her or be around her. Yeah. and And we find out that he never even picks her up from the airport. It was Holly. I really need my daughter to have fun. I'm going to have her fucking hang out with this mute chick that was raped earlier. Yeah. Who we officially um a dump we we officially meet here. Kelly. Finally. Finally. They didn't see her. But they never introduced her. Yeah. And she doesn't talk through the first half of the movie. She doesn't speak. Then once she starts talking, you wish she would stop.
00:47:45
Speaker
Yeah, once it's like the floodgates open bed. Oh, man, there's no off switch on this chick, is there? Wow. We're just show we're still going. Melissa and Seth Green are out and hanging out in the forest and she's talking about how nature is disgusting because it's vile and it's full of rot and all this stuff. And then she backs into a tick sack.
00:48:03
Speaker
which now attaches to her because it's just a statement. She doesn't even back into it. She's like standing in front of it in the sack is like lunging. But she does. It is just like, will they won't they? Is she going to back up and connect to it? And she does. And she does, but she doesn't show it. I'm sorry. It was somebody like the numbing thing that happened. Well, it hasn't it hasn't grabbed her yet. It's latched onto her shirt. So but it's like still you would feel a 10 pound weight. Oh, you absolutely would. Even if it was one pound, your shirt would go whoop. Yeah. And you'd be like, what the fuck? fuck is on my shirt? I can feel when there is a five ounce bug on my shirt. I just wish they would have done better because they run back to the camp now where everyone's barbecuing, I guess, having some some beautiful, delicious looking burgers. But it's like there was a bug out there that attacked me and they're like, well, yeah, it's nature. Bugs are going to attack. It's like, you know, explain that this is a
00:49:00
Speaker
ah You can't use the word alien. was like Seth Green is even like, well, it wasn't a normal like wilderness bug. And it's like, OK, that doesn't help. Bring them to where it was, because I guarantee you there's more gooey tic-sacs all around. I'm going to put you here right now, husband, when we went camping with Zoe as a teenager. And she was like, oh my god, there was this giant fucking bug thing. And you're like, yeah, we're in the woods. You're fine.
00:49:21
Speaker
Yeah. But if she would have come back and been like, hey, it was abnormally large and like it looked foreign. I would still think the teenager is exaggerating. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. I think the idea is they're like, no, it's a giant bug. And they're like, right, right. It's a giant bug because you're a stupid kid. Because Seth Green even says, here we go again. Adults not believing the kids. Yeah. So.
00:49:42
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm I'm just saying like it's believable. I guess during this whole thing. We've been there. I don't have kids. So I'm just like, I'll go check it out with you. Let me take my gun. Yeah. Well, the during this whole thing, aphonzo Alfonso, Alfonso Rivera was sitting back there going, no, I should have brought my piece, man. I piece. He says it multiple times, but he's as believable as Jim Carrey and liar liar. I had almost had to pull up my k nine and bust a cap.
00:50:06
Speaker
Okay, calm down, Carlton. So Sir and Jerry come up to the cabin. Sir Jerry. Sir Jerry. And they're just like, basically, this is where they're explaining what's going on. They're like, there's a lot of people out
Humor in 'Ticks': Shooting Scene
00:50:20
Speaker
here growing shit and they wouldn't like you being around. Are you ready for exposition? You're all about to die if you go anywhere outside this cabin and blah, blah, blah. If I was you, I'd pack up and leave right now. Yeah. But you're going to stay. Because those people that they're saying that are the ones out there doing it are them. Yeah. That's them.
00:50:37
Speaker
there's There's some redneck and some weird almost British dude out there killing people. Oh my god. This is literally the gentleman of the front blood drive. The gentleman and the the monkey rencher and the rich guy from blood drive. Oh, yeah.
00:50:52
Speaker
The rich guy with like his gimp. Yes. What a wild day. Much like Sir and Jerry. yeah But I do love that Sir at some point he's like talking about they're growing these illicit crops and someone's like, what are you talking about? What kind of crops? He's like, marijuana.
00:51:11
Speaker
mary jowanna no he says mary cause There's no J in this sign oh when we see it later it was earlier when we see it later tonight when you sat when i watch this like you watch again I would actually I have enough fun. I would watch it again back at Clint Howard's goop shack He's fighting with these ticks. One of them is inside of his leg. It's inside of his chest It's crawling around inside of his body, which is just He takes the gun and starts shooting his leg to kill the tick. I would have killed myself. Yes. Yes. Thank you. I was like, I want to say it because it's dark that that first bullet is going in my head. Yeah. Because I'm not. I don't want to. You're not alone in this. I don't want to live through this. My leg is in a bear trap and there's a creature under my skin. There's a tick. And I have a gun in my hand. Hello.
00:51:55
Speaker
Yeah, sorry, man. Suicide is not a joke, but ending your life when you're going to die terribly is massive um pain yeah is an It's an option. It's the Kevorkian way. I am not shooting. I don't know what you have to have to do with young people in Asia. Dr. Kevorkian? Yeah, youth euthanasia. Wasn't that his thing? was it Wasn't he like a teacher for young Asian kids? Yeah. Oh, I thought he was just friends with Woody Allen. all No, no, that's him in Asia. He did the humane thing. Yeah, I agree. But yeah like he starts shooting at this thing and the kids hear it back at the camp and panic has his line. He's like, sounds just like home, but without the choppers. Yeah, yeah you know he's trying. He's really trying to convince you that he lives on the hard streets in case you didn't get it. I'm from a rough and tough tumble area. Dude, I grew up in an area with the sharks and the jets, bro.
00:52:47
Speaker
Sharks and the Jets. You have no idea what it's like to try and go to sleep and just hear.
00:52:54
Speaker
coming down the alleyway, you know at some point there's gonna be a fucking song and I'm not gonna be able to see that. One of them's coming at another one with his pop gun. They're gonna tie their hands together and do a knife fight. But it's actually more like a dance. It's actually pretty nice to watch, by the way. Like I know I'm complaining right now, but if you can see his sharks versus jets, I'll Broadway. It's like that Brazilian dance fighting. It's really beautiful. Capoeira. Am I the first one to have you watch it?
00:53:17
Speaker
Yes, but so they they're they're starting to campfire with gas. Bad idea. But meanwhile, Holly and Guy Charles Charles are trying to fuck. Yeah, sure. They're trying to fuck. Oh, what is this song they're listening to? Oh, dude, the worst. Like it's you ever want to fuck to Beethoven? I don't. And it's not even that. It's even worse. It's like credit song, too. It's fucking out. It's Yanni with lyrics. Fair fetch and Firefly. He's trying to find that Kenny G spot.
00:53:46
Speaker
Don't get yawning, man. I feel like that just fucking fell full. No, I was hitting my vape as soon as you said it and I didn't want to spit all over my microphone. Kenny G is not flat. Let's check this. No, he's sharp. But yeah, no, it is some of the worst. This is love making music. No, fuck you. This isn't fucking music. This is love making music. I just want to turn the music low so I can hear your breath. You know what I put on for husband? A condom.
00:54:14
Speaker
um A cat suit. I mean, cattails are involved. What were you saying, husband? I don't know. He wasn't saying anything. I've been rambling for 20 minutes. Oh, so they light this fire with gasoline and it literally blows the window out of this cabin while they're fucking. And this guy goes out and he's just mildly miffed.
00:54:34
Speaker
No, he's not mildly. met No, not because he's he's mad. He's like, oh, there's a fire. There's fire. There's fire hazard. You could start. You could light the forest on fire. But like then they're like, we didn't teach us how to start a campfire. And he's like, OK, maybe tomorrow. And he just moves on. I'm like, you blew the window out of this cabin. That's part of his grand experiment, though. He's like, it's my fault for picking a bunch of kids that never had dads. But also Holly was like, yo, chill the fuck out. It's like me with you. I'm like, simmer down. No, I don't want to say started a big fire. man Now we're going to get skunked.
00:55:04
Speaker
So now the kids have to hang outside in the cold. Yeah, because they're not allowed to have a fire until tomorrow. And they can't go inside because they're fucking. You want bugs? That's how you get bugs. Yeah, Brutus gets attacked by a tick. Oh my god, I can't. This is the part where I walked away, so I will be silent for this part. I mean, we'll go quick over because it isn't too, too bad. No, it's not much. the There's tick vision.
00:55:26
Speaker
Brutus gets attacked, you hear him yelp, and they go out to find him. It's a terrible cry. And he's laying there, like, seizuring with a big old welt on his side. And I don't know if they taught this dog to seizure, or if this is a really good part. It looks so real. I'm going to go to Star Wars real quick. When they have the Tusken Raider lift his gaffey stick, he only does it once, and they loop it three times.
00:55:50
Speaker
So it's it's rewinding and playing forward, rewinding and playing forward. I wonder if they got this dog to twitch a little bit and just looped it. Oh, OK. I didn't look hard enough to know if that wasn't
Dog Loyalty and Movie Tropes
00:56:00
Speaker
true. We can clearly see this is a puppet later on when they take it to the vet. yeah Yes. But right now, right now, the head looks real. So I feel like it's the real dog. Obviously, they didn't kill the dog. I think they looped it. I think they got it to shake a little, but you could easily get your dog, especially after like a bath, let it outside and it's going to fucking just rub on the dirt, record that, and better isolate it and then fucking just loop it. Okay. And this is where we get Alfonso Romero's like Oscar scene for this movie. I thought that I was going to die in a drive by and my dog was going to be okay, man.
00:56:31
Speaker
Guess what? If you die in a drive by, your dog is going to starve to death because it's loyal shit and it's going to lay next to you until it dies. And he's like, he's like, I found him and and he and I looked at him and he didn't know who I was. And he's got tears rolling from his eyes. It's good. It's good. I still i was like Brutus. I said Brutus and he's he didn't say anything. I said Brutus and he wouldn't you say anything. Has your dog ever talked back to you? I mean, like. Hello, this is Brutus here. What does Sir Alphonso Rivera want? Well, you know what I mean. I do. I got the lines wrong. It's fine. i'm not I am not an actor. He didn't acknowledge me. He didn't know who I was. Sir, I see you there. He he couldn't see me. Doth not have any pockets full of snackums. In the middle and the middle of this ridiculous like horror comedy, it's like a moving scene. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say it's a standout.
00:57:23
Speaker
But it does stick out. It's a standout from the rest of these act, the rest of these performances. Sure. I like I couldn't. I I could care less if people die. There was an aminal, a beautiful border. There's a website that you might be interested in. It's called does the dog die dot com and it'll tell you any movie with a dog if the dog dies. whoa but and So if you don't want to watch a dog die in a movie, don't watch that movie. I mean, I'm with your wife. I do care when people die if I like them. um But I mean, yeah, I believe but especially in a movie, animal stuff. I'm like, oh, buddy. Like it happens in movies all the time. And I don't have a huge problem with it unless like like like so I've said before, older, low
The Comedy of Dog Puppets in Film
00:58:00
Speaker
budget movies, they're really killing real fucking basically a snuff film.
00:58:04
Speaker
But I actually find it, especially with dogs, a lot of times I find it really funny, but only because ah in a lot of the movies I watch, they're using very obvious puppets. Yeah. the So like it's like Anchorman is the big thing. I think most people can recognize the reference to when Jack Black kicks that dog off the fucking when Jack Black kicks the dog off the the bridge. You know what I care about? My dog Baxter and Scotch.
00:58:28
Speaker
It's fucking hilarious because it's
Watching Movies Sober and Night Adventures
00:58:30
Speaker
clearly a puppet. So recently, I mean, the bleeps watched 1987 The Gate. Yes. With Stephen Dorff. Yeah. With that wonderful dog puppet. yeah Wonderful dog puppet. I feel like I've seen that. I own it. So you might have. Yeah. Yeah. I know who you're married to. I have it on. No, I feel like I've seen it before I met you.
00:58:52
Speaker
Hey, if you guys ever like my catchphrase, I have it on Blu-ray, which wasn't a catchphrase, it's just the facts. That shirt is available on our team public store. Oh, we also have a Jack's Caveats. Yeah, which this movie might not have needed. No, I definitely needed company.
00:59:07
Speaker
I watched it alone and probably not sober the first time. So you're mixing up my caveats a little bit. all but I don't watch many things sober. So panic leaves in the middle of the night because his dog's dead.
Misunderstanding Nocturnal Animals
00:59:20
Speaker
He's like, fuck this place. I'm out. It's a really good idea that I was better off in the hood.
00:59:24
Speaker
A giant creature- Did I mention I was from the hood? A giant creature killed my dog in the woods, so I'm gonna go out in the middle of the night and leave. It'll be fine. Okay, so you don't know- the giant takes her a thing, right? Something killed your dog. In the woods. Yes. Maybe it's a bear. Maybe it's a fucking wolverine. And I- I don't know about wolverines. We don't have your peas, we know that much. Maybe it's a thank- A lot of these things are nocturnal. Uh-huh.
00:59:46
Speaker
Bears like to go out at night. They're not necessarily nocturnal, but they like to go out at night. I think if you stepped on a wolverine hole... Have you ever been camping in bed? What is a wolverine? I only know like... wolverine? Like the animal of the wolverine?
00:59:59
Speaker
that he's named after it because they're smaller but they're fucking ferocious especially if you try and back him into a hole they will get you they're like honey badgers but meaner yeah it looks like a bear it's it might be of that ah family genus it's like a sloth and a bear had a child That's Snorlax. That's what that is. That's a Snorlax. Snorlax is a penguin in something. No, it's not. Snorlax. Have you ever played Pokemon? Yes. It's not a penguin. Snorlax looks like a penguin and a bear had a baby. I didn't let Whitney know how wrong she is by sending her pictures of Snorlax. Her number is... It's like a it's just like a stone panda bad movies I Still want to pet a sloth like that lady and Chris Yeah, oh wait the Snorlax is the sloppy he's the big fat one that she's here now Here thinking of what's the blue one Snorlax? No the penguin one. Oh, I don't know
01:01:03
Speaker
No, Snorlax. Snorlax is fat, blue and slo-king is what I was thinking of. Slo-king. Slo-king. That's the sloppy one. Bad movies. Where's Pokemon? ah Sorry. um yeah Mama's drunk. but So there's there's goop sacks all over the forest. um And we see throughout the rest of the movie. The rest of this movie. Yeah. Every time someone's walking in the forest, there are goop sacks everywhere and no one is noticing. I did kind of wonder because I was like, OK, this is an infestation. As you screamed earlier, I'm infested.
01:01:33
Speaker
I was like fuck dude how are they like this is this seems exponential but how are you not seeing them very valid point and
Alfonso Romero's Dramatic Death Scene
01:01:40
Speaker
that's the thing I don't know again we've established we don't know about ticks but I would assume that being a small like vermin type of bug what's the word I'm looking for it doesn't matter parasite a parasite yeah Yeah, OK. Like they probably breed exponentially. Yes, they do. You know, like this is like poaching roaches or termites or any of that stuff. So I was concerned and it's going to get fixed. I was concerned. I'm like, how the fuck are our finger quote heroes going to stop this? Yeah. Because I thought this is again, too many survivors. I thought we were going to be picking them off one by fucking one. I was kind of hoping for that. Not even kind of formulaically speaking. That's the worst thing about this movie is two not enough people die. Yeah. No one dies, really. And also, formula speaking, whiskey is a solution. well the only the only death The only death of consequence in this movie is Alfonso Ribeiro. Uh-huh. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Why? The bad guys, but like for people we give a shit about, that's what I mean. Death of consequence, like a death that you would care about. is Oh, okay. The bad guys, well I guess Rance Howard gets it.
Rance Howard's Cameo and Pancake Scene
01:02:40
Speaker
Yeah. Who we're meeting right now. Yeah. Rance Howard shows up to the camp just to have a cameo. He's basically like I do like he comes up and he's just talking to the campers and stuff. And someone's like, hey, we're making breakfast. You want some? He's like, fuck, yeah. Goes over there and sees this girl, Kelly, making pancakes. to che but She's not she's not waiting for shit to cook. She's just flipping half cooked pancakes. Just gloop everywhere. pancakes It's disgusting. I didn't know what it was until the second shot. Yeah, that's where I found out. It looked like it looked like somebody put a fucking sausage patty in there and squeeze mayo on it.
01:03:10
Speaker
I thought she was making that she was making really shitty sausage gravy. That's what I just said. Yeah. Jimmy Dean and Mayo. Oh, God. That's only considered sausage gravy if you're in the South. And I'm not going to say that. actually you know Scratch that. Let's just delete that because people from the South might fight me because they're very proud of their gravy. Yeah. People sell from the South probably make better gravy than this. Let's say that's gravy from Kansas City. There you go. No, they're still basically the South. Ohio.
01:03:38
Speaker
Yeah, it's still kind of the south even though it's way north. Nebraska. Idaho. You're just naming places with people that go y'all. Wisconsin. South Dakota. Wyoming. Wyoming. I said Idaho because they're Mormon and they don't know how to make gravy.
01:03:51
Speaker
They have potatoes, though. Yeah. They still don't know how to make gravy. Yeah, I don't know. We were there for like eight minutes and it was cold. That's what I remember about it. You slept through it. OK, that was Nevada. Not a bad choice. We slept in Idaho. So I did sleep through it. Mow. Yeah. Anyway, Mow. But Rance Howard shows up. He's playing Sheriff Parker. Rance Howard, please. Rance Howard, people might know, even though he's not he's never been a big actor. Yeah. So he was that you have seen him because we watched terminal velocity. He is.
01:04:18
Speaker
in terminal velocity with charlie sheen the skydiving movie which we'll be talking about in less than a year from now it's coming up ah because we already have next september planned because i was watching i watched ah but first drop zone and terminal velocity in a row and i and then i doge ah was it ri cut cut cutaway cutaway cutaway and i was like we're doing a whole month of skydiving movies guys yeah and sky timber makes sense i'm excited stay tuned for that uh but he was in terminal velocity he's the pilot that takes charlie sheen up at the end the one where charlie sheen gets out on the wing of the plane and then grabs onto the other plane and then ends up driving a car off a plane
01:04:54
Speaker
Sure. I can't wait for Skytemper. Awesome. That sounds bonkers. He's also in the burbs. He's a detective. Uh-huh. And he's in Universal Soldier, apparently. He's also in Seinfeld as the blind guy that George tricks into switching frames of them in George's frames or
Age Mix-Ups: Rance Howard vs. The Belushis
01:05:10
Speaker
ladies' frames. Well, why would a blind guy need glasses? Their sunglasses that cover his blind ass eyes. Oh, I get it. He's doing the world a favor. I've seen Ray. I think it's to protect their eyes.
01:05:22
Speaker
I think it's because you're gross. I should make fun of blind people, just Deafs. I'm very blind. The opinions expressed within these commentaries are not the opinions of MGM Studios or Derek Efeler. Different classic movies has no has no affiliation with Jack's caveats.
01:05:41
Speaker
ah But anyway, he shows up, he's doing that, but he sees the girl making breakfast, Kelly. He's like, yeah, I want breakfast. He goes over and looks and he's like, actually, I'm really not that hungry, which is kind of his whole thing in this movie. He did ask about, okay, so.
01:05:55
Speaker
He's the reason we say we know Clint Howard's name. Yes. OK, that's right. Jarvis Tanner for a second, because were I'm going to fast forward a bit. When they go fishing, they pull a body out and that's supposed to be him. It's supposed to be Rance. I thought this is who he was talking about.
01:06:12
Speaker
I thought it was like a deputy or something, but I guess he's bloated because he looks younger, his face is chubby. What it comes down to is you ain't paying Rance enough to get in this muck water. No, you're not. i mean This is fucking disgusting. This is 1993 and Rance Howard's already 107. Okay, that's how you get syphilis. Thank you, no. No, the body that they pulled up was like 30 years younger and about 40 pounds heavier.
01:06:36
Speaker
it was Well, like I said, he's bloated from being underwater. Yeah. On top of 40 pounds heavier. and Gross 40 pounds. It's all wet. Bloated. It's just Jim Belushi. No, Jim.
01:06:52
Speaker
Oh, you don't have to be sad about that one. Yeah. I always get them confused. The wrong Belushi. I called John. John was the good one. Jim was the bad one. I don't hate. I know you like shitty sitcoms. I do. That's fair. I'm talking a harsh on that. There are some movies that Jim did that I didn't hate either. Nope. What's that one he did with Arnold? Red Heat. Red Heat. That one's pretty decent. Because of Arnold. I'm just... Nostalgia. Maybe it was a time where my parents loved me. Look, you're going to try and defend yourself against a guy that has thousands of dollars of crappy fucking movies. I know. Look at this. That's the thing.
01:07:27
Speaker
And a guy over here that just like I want I will defend any Star Wars property. Like we are terrible people. So don't defend yourself. I can say people. That's why we're worse people. Yeah, absolutely. Exactly. If I can say people suck, but if you sold my collection, we could buy a house. Yeah, maybe a place to pay our bills for the rest of the year. ands You know, you're looking at Derek's retirement plan. Sorry, you misunderstood. He's going to die watching these movies. The sad thing is I've been selling some of these movies like selling off ones. I know I'm not going to watch again. Are they out of print? And I know that they're rare, even if I like them, whatever kills them. so There's still a whole bunch where I'm like, yeah, but I'm not breaking up the collection. Yeah, I'm not at that point yet. this You're talking to one of the few people that owns all of the tremors. Well, but they're all they're all in one set. That's different. And the series and the series. Yeah. All right, let's go. But so they take your wife's over it. Seth Green tells them about panic leaving. So they're like, well, we got to go find him. But we also have to take Brutus' corpse to the vet.
01:08:26
Speaker
Because we need some exposition. Yeah, to find out what happened, I guess. And ah Charles, I can never remember this guy's name. He's a generic white adult. So it's hard to like remember who he is. He's a soon to be single white female. He's like, look, we'll go. We'll take Brutus to the vet. We'll look for panic along the way. He's probably he's probably on the road, even though this was eight hours ago he left. Yeah. And so they they go to take Brutus to the vet.
01:08:51
Speaker
Panic sees them driving by. He's hanging out in like a crevasse. A crevasse is the right word, sir. And he sees them drive by and he's like, oh, don't look too hard, guys. and I'm like, dude, you're hiding in the woods. You are. You know who else in the woods? The Unabomber. And you know what? He didn't want to be found. It's a great fucking analogy.
01:09:11
Speaker
I was going to say he's tucked away like a bear hibernating in the winter. Like just hes you're not on the beaten path. No, you're not. They drove right by where you were. If you were on the road, they would have seen you. Yeah. You know, if you wanted to be seen, they would have seen you. You're not allowed to push people away and complain you're alone. Yeah. You can do one of those. Fucking heard. You can do one of those. Thank you. I've seen enough 90s like trauma sitcoms to know that. Yeah.
01:09:35
Speaker
ah I've written a bunch. I lived one. I am one. But so they go to the vet. I didn't get this lady's name, but it doesn't matter. She looks like a dude. She looks like a man. Isn't there a Rolling Stone song?
01:09:51
Speaker
That's Aerosmith. That's Aerosmith. That's Aerosmith. It's also not from that soundtrack. It was on that soundtrack. I know. I said what I said. He said what he said. Oh, that's right. It's a classic Aerosmith song. I could care less about Beatles or Rolling Stones. I couldn't name. It's Aerosmith. The only Beatles song I could name. I can't name you one Rolling Stones song. You're not. It's Aerosmith. The only Beatles song I can name, Yellow Submarine.
01:10:19
Speaker
I can name a whole bunch. I don't care about them. That's literally I can name you the one I like oh hey Jude that one No, oh hey Jude is a is a solo the one I like it's that's still the Beatles isn't it Paul McCartney single single I thought it i don't i do you know what no no i'm not pretend to understand be I know the one it's a George Harrison song which is funny enough ah Help my guitar gently weeps. Okay. Yeah, that's a good one That's that's the one I need somebody. Don't let me down. If you were to name songs, I could come up with them, but I could just remember that movie. We know we never watched it. It came out a few years ago yesterday where the Beatles never existed. Yeah, I really wish I lived in that world. Yeah, um I'm with you anyway. But then when we OK, I'm sure pop music would have changed dramatically. Butterfly effect music pop music,
Vet Office Chaos: The Tick Puppet Scene
01:11:10
Speaker
not tick music where they're popped.
01:11:13
Speaker
But anyway, so the vet's talking about how she's examining this dog. There's a mass under the sternum, but it couldn't be cancer because it couldn't have grown. It couldn't have made him act that way and it couldn't be ejection. No, she's... She's trying to draw plasma. Trying to draw blood. You can't draw plasma. Yeah, she's trying. You can, but... No, you have to do a whole thing. She said she's trying. You separate it. I did it for a living in college. You're going to draw plasma? I know. Give me a fucking pen and paper and draw plasma right now. You have to draw draw the blood and then separate the plasma from the blood.
01:11:42
Speaker
Yeah, but she there's like, oh, my God, there there's no plause but there's no fucking. But then all of a sudden this take starts like, give me that fucking needle, dude. Yeah, the needle gets like sucked in. So she gets another one and then the whole syringe gets sucked in. And this is where we finally get like the cool shit. Right. We've been waiting for two hours and now we're at the tick. This thing pops out of this dog's body and it's this blood covered tick puppet with a syringe sticking out of it. It's just running around this vet's office. And if there's two full grown adults and a Seth Green who are trying to catch this thing. He's never been a fully grown adult by the way. like that That guy's probably like 47 right now and still not a fully grown adult. He's like 5'2". He's got a tall wife. You know why he gets a tall wife? He wants cookies and he's there on the top shelf.
01:12:29
Speaker
You put the cookies in the bottom drawer. The maid always puts them up top. I need to marry a tall person. Every time his mom comes over, she puts the cookies in the top shelf. Harold, I put the cookies in the top shelf. It was like me with my stepdad. She finally squishes it and just the catchphrase that never caught on. When in doubt, squish. And I love this. I love this whole part because it's like, I don't even think there's any stop motion. I think it's all puppetry. I think it is. It looks like to be given an oversized tick with a fucking hypodermic needle and great camera angle just running around causing a muck. One point, Seth Green's calling around the ground looking for it, which is the smart and I are both like, it's the smarter move to actually find it. Yes. Yes. But it's the worst move when you have murder ticks. It's the smartest move to get eaten.
01:13:15
Speaker
And the smartest move to find it. They could be the same day. It does try to facehugger him at one point, too. Uh-huh. Yeah. But don't just stand there and scream, fucking move. Yeah. That's all. Like, they do that. There's a lot of times where, like, the monster's, like, coming at you from 30 feet away, and you're like, ah! I think the idea is supposed to be that it's too fast for you to move.
01:13:36
Speaker
And they do a terrible job of doing that. I think theyre they're they're speeding up the the puppetry to make it look super fescary. But this one, she's talking about the herbal steroid that may have enhanced it. I love that she's like, it's an herbal steroid that some of the locals use to grow their crops faster. No, no. ah That's between me. But that's between us.
01:13:55
Speaker
You know, wow yeah because I'm part of it. What do you think funds this fucking vet clinic weed money? What do you think I get my fucking ah painkillers from? Where do you think they get their herbal steroids from? That's what it is. Fucking hell, dude. She's like, I invested in this weed farm, but she does talk about how like they were living in the future.
01:14:17
Speaker
No, no, no. This was actually happening. This is 93. Today is 24. This is happening today. This was happening then though, like Humboldt County. They had these, they even that BBC document or ah ah broadcast talks about like them damming up ah waterways. This was happening in California before this and continued after where you had these illegal grow ops that were siphoning natural waters and having these huge defense mechanisms. I mean, like it was a, I don't want to say a problem. The ATF called it a problem, DEA called it a problem. Well, they weren't getting their taxes. This thing coming up where Alfonso Romero goes into the, the grow up for Sir and Jerry and the alarm goes off, all that stuff's real. Oh, yeah. They used to have fucking ATVs rolling around. And I can't remember right now, but then I watched a movie that talked about that. And it was like if somebody went in, accidentally stumbled into this. But the way movies portray it is because the government's funding a lot of this stuff, you know. Yeah. And it's like, oh, you stumbled into their area. Now they're going to murder you.
01:15:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I mean people growing weed not doing a lot of murder Unless the cartels smoking weed don't do a lot of murder people growing weed for business That is in Humboldt County. We're also smoking it though started that way Vietnam vets dude. Yeah, they're paranoid She mentions that. She also mentions and I'm I'm assuming this is true because it makes sense that like when the a real tick, a normal tick bites you, it releases like something that makes you numb so you don't feel it biting. Yes. And then also she's like an aseptic. She's like in a large dose, it could produce hallucinatory effects. And these things are 700 times as big as a tick.
01:15:54
Speaker
Yeah. And then immediately following that, we go back to Alfonso Ribeiro and he is bit by a fucking tick.
Hallucinations from Tick Bites
01:16:00
Speaker
And then there's a scene and it's not the next one, but from anyone. It's not the next scene, but we see Alfonso Ribeiro and he's like having a hallucination about being in like the Ninja Turtles. Like he's in like ah an alleyway with burning trash cans. It's a worse version of his ghetto that he's from. Yeah. Like he sees Sir and Jerry in his hallucination.
01:16:20
Speaker
hallucination. Hallucination. Hallucination. Hallucination. Hallucination. I'd watch that movie. Hallucination. Dude, write it. So he's hallucinating in he's in an alley in LA. In the turtles esque. Yeah, it's just it's a very like grimy. It's like a fake grimy back alley. If the turtles aren't dropping down, Batman is. Yeah.
01:16:41
Speaker
And it's these two coming at him. But in real life, like it's it's still certain. Oh, Jerry's a decent joker and sir is not a bad penguin. There you go. Interesting. No, sir. Rocking this character. ah you Max Shrek. Yeah. My son Chip. I mean, sir gets it in this, but I would have much more like that if he turned into a skeleton. Yeah, that's my drunk version of mocking you. Go ahead and try. Oh, I'm trying. That's not bad. Thank ah you. I think to do a walk and we got to get your wife whiskey drop because that's the best. it sound That is that's we figured out that we figured out the recipe. ah Well, now I'm out of whiskey. Well, the bottle is not out of reach. It turns out you're in my house and there's
01:17:31
Speaker
A bunch of whiskey. I wore this uncomfortable glass of whiskey up my ass for eight years. For me. ah But so ah Melissa and and Kim, what the fuck was this girl's name? Kelly. Kelly. Go fishing. I'm glad you got there, because i I would not have. They go fishing. They find Rance Howard's body. They freak out. That's good. Didi and Rome are going off to fuck in the woods. This is where they don't know. This is where Jack was like, what's the rating on this? And I was like, all right. And he was like, boom, potential, boom, potential. Yeah. So potential. Holly was like trying to get all the kids to get together and be like, yeah, like Bond and go fishing and.
01:18:07
Speaker
Do you want to go fishing? Yeah. Do you want to go fishing? Yeah. Go do it. So Dee Dee, while they're out there wandering around, of course, there's more pulsating sacks all over the forest that no one can see all day. Dee Dee ends up finding Clint Howard's grow up. And this is that scene where we're not sure if they were both there or not.
01:18:25
Speaker
But he like comes at her and he's like, I can't see. Help me with the gun. And he like falls on her and his face is swelling. Oh, my God. Beautiful makeup. It's so disgusting. I don't want to brag. It looks so real. I could kill myself without seeing. Yeah, so could I. With a gun? Easy. If I had a gun already in my hand, that's the he's just like, he's like, I can't see. You got to kill me. But what have you missed? What if you have it at your temple, but you have it angled and it just goes through the eyeballs? Well, first of all, if fucking David Koresh taught me anything, you're supposed to go through the mouth. You never miss. It's like that episode of South Park, though, with the homeless zombies where that guy shoots himself and he doesn't die. And then he just keeps shooting and keeps shooting and he keeps living. He shoots himself through the mouth and through the head. But he never hits his brain directly. I shoot myself in the dick. So I die. No way. Never.
01:19:13
Speaker
No way. You're not going to die. Slow death. Yeah. I've seen Brooklyn Nine-Nine. A man can run up to a mile and a half without a penis. It's a weird fact. I guess if you have a boner and you shoot it, maybe you'll die quicker because the blood shoots out. All right. I gotta get hard first.
01:19:30
Speaker
before I kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself. I gotta get hard. I need a boner. He falls on top of her and this tick bursts out of his face and latches onto her. And it's pretty disgusting, which is cool. Okay, there's, I do have a little. All the ticks are disgusting. It's awesome. I do have a little thing. Like there's a thing where a tick is like on you or when it bites you. So when it bites you is when you get the hallucinogens. When it's on you, it's just on you and latching.
01:19:58
Speaker
Yeah, well, because they have those pincers like the they're they're they're latching versus biting because their feet are all like sharp points and they're giant. So what are you going to? Because there's times where
Terrifying Laughter: Jerry's Character
01:20:10
Speaker
Jerry has like 15 like latch on him, but he's not hallucinating. Well, he's he's immune. He's He's been microdosing LSD since 1963. It takes a while. He's another Vietnam vet. He's basically George Clinton. Yeah.
01:20:28
Speaker
Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't notice a tick. It was just like one more dose of LSD now is making him Yeah, he had that one that went over it went right into his face. I was just keeping it funky girl It it fucked his mouth got it But so while Alfonso was tripping, which we talked about, Sir and Jerry beat the living fuck out of this guy. Oh my god, they really do. That's when we have the F-bomb scene. But Alfonso Romero stabs Jerry in the fucking knee. This actor does a really good job of Jerry being the actor I'm talking about now, of being kind of terrifying because he's just laughing it off.
01:21:03
Speaker
He's like, I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking kill you now. I love when he first gets stabbed. He falls. and He's like, oh, that's a good one. Yeah. it' It's you know, what he is he is high. You know what? Oh, yeah. dude This is fucking proto Joker. Yeah. Like this is how you get the Joker. he's said He's a good Joker. Yeah. It's a Vietnam vet that grew weed and then fucking walking Phoenix. He went on a talk show. It didn't go well. It's Robert De Niro. equal You want Joker's? That's how you get Joker's.
01:21:33
Speaker
But the Alfonso Romero beats Jerry's ass he yeah the fuck out of this redneck dude You know what it's from the streets. Yeah, and he I love it cuz he's beating him down. He's like fuck you fuck you He's like you country fuck motherfucker like he's going off on this dude And it's it's nice because this guy deserves it. He does But then Sir comes up with a gun. Yep. Sorry. I just don't like it. It's such a fucking shit thing for me to call him. And he comes up. Why? Yeah. He comes up and he he shoots it at Alfonso. But first he hits one of these propane tanks. Oh, no, no, no. I know the name because it's methanol because I was thinking about them making meth and all.
01:22:13
Speaker
What happened? I shot that meth and all. All the stuff. When he shoots the tank, it starts a small fire. He ends up shooting Alfonso Ribeiro. They leave him. He's like... That small fire. Well, it's a small fire. That small fire turns large. But like he's like, just leave him. He's not going to survive. And so they leave. And I'm like, clearly these two have never watched a horror movie. You don't shoot someone and walk away. Yeah. Double time that shit. Or any sort of revenge movie. Yeah. It's fine. He's dying in the ditch. We'll leave him there. And you know what? We'll never see him again in the second act.
01:22:42
Speaker
I know what you did last summer. Oh, no. But we have the masturbate all year. Alfonso has these ah steroids that we lose. We didn't really mention earlier. I think it kind of got mentioned, but ah Rome had a bunch of steroids in his bag and Alfonso had taken them. So now he's taking them to stay alert and alive and awake. Yeah. Yeah, which is actually very smart. I hope it doesn't backfire. But when he's eating him, it looks like it's candy. It's because he's got this like blood where it's just like making a stick to his hand. He's literally eating like a blue Starburst, which doesn't exist. I swear to God, man, he's got Flintstones, chewable fucking steroids. All right, give me two deenoes and a Fred, and I'm going to be just fine, man. It's like the gel is making everything stick to his hand. The good thing is this blood's made out of kero syrup, so it's all glucose. It's fine.
01:23:31
Speaker
He might get diabetes, but other than that, like, oh, man, I'll tell someone to think about diabetes and ticks. You don't want to know about that combination of good, fake blood to give you diabetes. Maybe a jack of rabbit, a jump up and smack a grizzly in the ass. Make the ticks smack a Fonz or a barrel.
01:23:50
Speaker
ah You can just go to Carlton, it's shorter. I'll tell you Mel, good blood, make a tick smack of Carlton. Goes on macawoo! This fire quickly spreads, it becomes a raging forest fire. Can I say I love, I absolutely love the miniature on this. Who doesn't? Oh yeah yeah. When you see the fire spreading, the the forest the shot of the forest is burning is a miniature, because I mean two million dollars, they're not lighting trees on fire. No! You don't have the permit for this? So and there was a couple shots earlier and you guys
Miniature Effects: Forest Fire Scene
01:24:20
Speaker
didn't notice I did where because we see it later where the cabin is a miniature, too. And I was like, I looked at it and I was like, why are they doing a cabin miniature? They have a cabin. Fucking callbacks. I forgot about this call back to another one. You made us watch Night of the Lepus. We're like, that's a fake fucking road. Why would they have a fake? Yes, you did. Holy shit. Yeah, you did. Fucking poison me with gin and wings. It was a request ah from a
01:24:45
Speaker
very loved and cherished George from our bottle brewing to his podcast show up to her bottle and say, Hey, I listened to bad movies. Worst people. I was like, did you forget the name of the show? No, but I get it. I get it. I'm just saying that they're at that in that one. I was like, Why is there a miniature of a town when you've been filming the, Oh, giant rabbits. I gotcha. Same thing here. And I didn't notice the one you're talking about, but when it's on fire, you can't help. Show up to hard bottle brewing and get a dollar off your fucking pints. But the, yeah, cause the, the miniature is there so they can burn this fucking place down.
01:25:21
Speaker
and maybe or maybe not explode it. Well, we'll see. We'll get we'll see. They're going to explode it. But so they're all locked in the house. The fire is driving the ticks toward the house because it's like but apparently the only place in the forest where it's not. I mean, you say they're all we're including.
01:25:36
Speaker
We're including Sir and Fred, like yeah everybody. jerry Yeah, because this is where the fuck is Fred? No one. um Jerry shows up here covered in ticks. And there's one of my other favorite lines of the movie, because I think it's Melissa that's like, don't let them in. Don't let them in. And she starts screaming. She's like, we don't have any dope. Like they're just. This is how I answer my door. Yes. Need to get in the door. They're like, give me your weed.
01:26:02
Speaker
This is fucking goddamn. Reefer madness. Reefer madness. Oh, I love it. They're rabid. They need our weed. They're going to break down our door. They're threatening the fucking ticks that suck our blood. They don't suck blood. They suck weed. I made Whitney and our former roommate watch Reefer Madness one night. You let them.
01:26:20
Speaker
ah the version I had though also had a bunch of like the preview stuff from like a drive-in attached to it so we were what I was watching that stuff and they came in and they were like what the they were hammered yeah what the fuck are you watching out and I was like just keep watching and it's like what is going on and then the movie started and they're both just like watching it like What? This is this my problem. This movie doesn't make any sense. And I was like, I know. I don't like marijuana. It makes people act funny. me It makes you play jazz. I like her i like rock and roll and fermented bananas. Faster. And I think that you're smoking weed and playing piano, you're asking for trouble.
01:26:57
Speaker
But yeah, they stick to things that are legal. Rum. It wasn't legal then either. You're So now Jerry and Sir are in the cabin and they're like, yeah, we'll go with you guys. We're all friends, right? Panic starts knocking on the door and they're like, oh, shit. Don't let him in. Please for the love of. plot Don't let him. I'm like, yo, he's literally crying. Holly, help me. Bitch, I would not like she's not there. They let Jerry and Sir in. They're going to let. me yeah Yeah, exactly. But she waited five seconds too long. It was it was 10 seconds shorter than she waited for Jerry and Sir.
01:27:34
Speaker
Yeah. was But but he gets in there and immediately sells those two out, which is fine. He's like, those motherfuckers did this to me. And then he like dies. And Seth Green is like, well, ticks don't use guns. He's got a gunshot wound. Yeah.
01:27:50
Speaker
So somebody else did this to him and that's when Sir pulls out his gun and he's like, well, how about fuck all of you? I'm taking your van and and I'm leaving and you can all stay. But his fucking his his simp is not simping right now. No, he's not very does not want to go get the van because he knows that's a death sentence. Yeah. I love, ah sir. He's like, I will require those van keys. Civil play civil play because he's trying to be fancy, but he's from the court. I would like to steal your van.
01:28:17
Speaker
No, it does not please the court. Well, you know what? I will not because I have a shotgun and you are a child. So habeas, corpus, electus, give me the fucking keys. And here's a dagger to your heart. Oh, she will play. She will play me. But so Jerry does end up going out to get the van eventually. But he's got it. He's got a torch and on his run to the van, he's just pop and ticks because as we saw a fire makes them pop fire bad. Yeah. Per tick.
01:28:47
Speaker
So he's popping ticks on his way, he gets to the van, one of them latches to the back of his neck. Yep. So one of them latches to the back of his neck and this is where he starts tripping balls. Maybe the other ones didn't bite him. You know what happened? Or maybe it's just because this is straight into his fucking cerebellum. Here's what happened. It's a spinal tap. All the acid he's ever taken just released at once. And he's like, holy shit, I just had flashbacks of consciousness I haven't even been to. And he hallucinates Rance Howard as a zombie, basically. Which is supposed to be Sir. Sir on the porch with his gun. He hallucinates that it's Rance Howard. So he drives this van at Sir right through the front of this fucking cabin. Yeah. Screwing everybody inside. Yeah. Thank God.
01:29:27
Speaker
Do it. As many people with vans have done screwing a bunch of people inside. Oh, come on. That's dances. Would you not screw a bunch of people inside with your van? I would, but I haven't. And they'd all be consensual. These were not. It's a sexy van. I mean, Stevie Ray is a sexy van. Stevie Ray is a sexy van. And I love like the ticks start swarming into the house and someone yells, it's an invasion. I think it has been. No, just now it's an invasion. You weren't concerned earlier where they were surrounding the fucking house. And Alfonso Romero's body starts twitching, shaking, floor crumping. Floor crumping. He does. And then it does this really cool effect. I don't know if they were dragging him with a rope or if it's like one of those things where they have like a rotating room. I feel like it's both.
01:30:15
Speaker
Okay. It could be both. I thought rotating room for sure. Cause he's sliding around this room. Uh,
Visual Effects Highlight: Giant Tick Emergence
01:30:20
Speaker
but like, and so he starts, he's shaking himself. Everybody runs upstairs except for sir. And suddenly this fucking brutal looking spider leg and it's a tick leg. It looks like a giant spider just shoots out of his knee covered in goo performance, enhancing tick. Yeah, because he's been taking steroids and these are also already Uber ticks. u So steroids plus science goop equals giant tick. Yep. And the it shoots out of one knee, it shoots out of the other knee, shoots out of his arms, his you know, everything. Got to do a shot of his lony, his high knee, like all the knees. It's probably shot of six legs. So it's like the hands and the feet and then the sides. Oh, racnids. No, they're wreck because the
01:31:06
Speaker
The pincers. But ah they have this great dummy of Alfonso Romero's dead face. He's a great guy. That's just shaking and shaking and it's pulling apart. And you see this thing just split in half. It's beautiful. This is the reason I've been telling these guys about this movie for a while. Yeah. And when we started it has been and Jack and I have been like, when we started it, Jack was like, Derek's been talking this up so much. There's no way it's good. Yeah. um I'll eat those words. I'll have a really big play to crow because I didn't tell everybody about this stuff.
01:31:36
Speaker
Yeah, because this is what makes this movie. This thing splitting the Alfonso Romero splitting in half and this giant Uber tick coming out of him. Yes. And it attacks her and i was presumably rips him in half. I don't know. Oh, yeah. It jumps on him and we don't see that. Everybody else has gone upstairs. and They're trying to try and climb out of a window. Well, finish your but even before that, you're just barricading yourself in a room. It's like.
01:32:00
Speaker
Upstairs, Barricade is not the best idea. No, it's not. When the forest is on fire and there's a monster downstairs, no. Not the best idea. But jump out the window, grab the van and grab us. Well, grasping at straws. Seth Green is like they get the tire swing up because Kelly's a really good fisherman, apparently. All of a sudden. Apparently. And see that hat? He's got lures in it. You don't wear a fucking hat with fishing lures unless you're great at it.
01:32:24
Speaker
The rule. You want that? You're going to have to try almost at it quicker. See, but Seth Green is like, yeah, I could do this. If I could swing out, swing back to fight gravity and land in the van, we'll be fine. I'm also nominated torch.
01:32:39
Speaker
No, Romeo is like, let me do this. And he's like, no, I have panic attacks. So just like, wink, wink, let me do this. I got to get out of this room. and But he swings out immediately. this The rope breaks. Presumably, it's on fire. No, it breaks because of weight. Sure. Sure. All that Seth Green weight. Because all 80 pounds of Seth Green soaking wet. This is 125. No, you're overshooting, my friend.
01:33:06
Speaker
at five two so is he and yeah he's five two now not five two in this movie no he's theres like a solid four three five two one he's five two one twenty but he falls there's a swarm of ticks coming at him he gets a broom he lights it on fire and he used it to kill ticks to get to the van I thought it was going to be a yeah I came to think of a movie right now, like when you're waving the fucking torch just to keep him at bay. But he's popping them. Yes, he is popping itches because he said earlier, ticks don't like fire, which means they're super immune to it. It's not just like light them on fire. It's put fire next to them and they will pop and squirt blood all over you.
01:33:44
Speaker
Again, really cool effects anytime one of these ticks pop right on a window. Fucking beautiful on a person. Fucking beautiful on the forest floor. Like they are these effects. I'm glad that you didn't like you told us about Alfonso Romero and being in this and and all that. You didn't oversell these graphics and I'm glad because I was pleasantly surprised at how delightful this was. I knew we were going to talk about this at some point. and So I was like, I can't tell them about yeah all this stuff. You told us the right stuff. Uh, uh, uh, what's his? Seth Green. Seth Green. Alfonso Romero being a gangster. Honestly, I, I ignored everything you said. I was like, okay. Oh shit.
01:34:21
Speaker
i did yeah she ignores it surprisingly you ignored everything No, I was I was happy that you didn't oversell that because you easily could just salt like trying to get like ah bait me with that Like oh dude the practical effects are amazing. You're gonna love it And I did. They all climb out of the window as the Uber tick is like bursting in through the door. Wait, did they order an Uber tick? Yeah. Like they were too drunk to drive. So I'm too drunk to take my own blood. Can I get an Uber tick? It's like Uber eats, but it eats you. This whole time they're like trying to make this ladder with sheets and a ski. Well, they yeah they use just ski.
01:34:58
Speaker
Dude. Just jump out. Just jump out. This is only a two-story cabin. Jump out. It's a tall van. Just jump and land on the van. Like, you're fine. What are you worried about damaging the van? Guess what? It drove through the building a minute ago. You're fine. You're damaging yourself. You're on drugs. You're on LSD. You're fine. But like, all of them get out except Rome, because he's... Yep. He's doing what he should do, because he's been like the tough guy. He's the buff guy. Not the Alfonso Rivera tough guy, but a tough guy.
01:35:22
Speaker
So he helps Holly out last, he's the last one out. The Uber tick gets in and grabs his leg. So he's hanging out the window. Seth Green's like, I'll get him. Climbs up. I'm the tough guy now. Throw me the torch when I'm up there. Yeah. Look at me. I'm the tough guy now. He jams this fucking torch into the Uber tick's mouth. It lets go of, or mandibles. It lets go of Rome. They fall on the van, as you showed up from the beginning. But then super cut because Seth Green is now driving.
01:35:51
Speaker
Yeah, like there was no seeing him. He's just like, all right, they're in. Well, we didn't mention them. We didn't mention Charles got shot in the leg. Oh, yeah, that's right. Can't drive. He's a holly. I guess I forgot about a panicked woman. Question mark. I know she could drive. Women can't drive.
01:36:06
Speaker
ah Women can't drive in a hysterical situation. You see that haircut? She doesn't know what she's doing. It's the 90s. But they drive away, the Uber tick explodes, and then we cut to it. And that's where we get the bad shot. That's the only one I like. It's the only one
Dramatic Conclusion: The Cabin Explosion
01:36:20
Speaker
I don't like is that the Uber tick exploding is whether it's CG or... Well, the exploding itself isn't bad. It's the fire coming out the window of the cabin. Out of the window, yes. Sorry. And that's the only one that took me out of it. Yeah. And there was another one because it does that blow up and then it like... trickles to another fucking tank. Yes, but this one's good. This one's great. But this, yeah, the fire follows a trail of gas, question mark. You betcha. To the natural gas or propane tank that they have outside the cabin. Did you say propane? It blows up the entire cabin. And this is where we cut back to the miniature of the cabin because that thing just gets obliterated. Oh, I'm not going to heck with this. You blew up my cabin. I love miniatures. Who does it? I mean, this is a, this is, this is akin to like Beetlejuice model. Yeah, like a little fake fucking town. Did Alec Baldwin do this? Is that why someone died? Because Alec Baldwin built this miniature? Alphonso Ribeiro actually died. I'm a method actor. I'm going to actually throw a giant ticket. How many survivors? So we have Tyler, Seth Green, Chuck. Well, all of them except Alphonso Ribeiro. Yeah. Yeah. Besides bad guys. Romeo, Dee Dee, Melissa and Kelly. She's just showing off. She names. That's it. Everybody like Alfonso Rivera is the only person we care about who died. Yeah, the two goons died. Clint Howard died. Rance Howard got killed off screen. That's it.
01:37:40
Speaker
Oh, and also the whole forest of marijuana. Yeah. Well, that's depressing, man. So the ticks didn't die. They're just fucking high. Like, we'll wait, man. Oh, they're super hungry now. I got the munchies, man. You want to go to L.A. and get some blood? do Speaking of that, the ticks didn't all die.
01:37:57
Speaker
Oh, that's right. Because they they take off. There's happy music. We see a junkyard with the van in it. We're now in LA. They've clearly given up on this camp thing. This just van's not cleaned, by the way. I got to say, the authorities in this, whatever town this is, is going to have questions. If this is the right junkyard, you can drive it in filter blood. My sheriff is dead. The weed growers are dead. This cabin is burned to the ground. There's no evidence of ticks. There's acres of dead. Your van has human blood all over it.
01:38:25
Speaker
i got Questions, but if you take it to the right junkyard sure no question sure no way like ah like like guy The guy from Breaking Bad that they took the cars to all the time look I'm just gonna hit it You ain't getting your deposit back in this fucking cabin. No It's gone. You can keep your hundred bucks, but but from underneath the van drops another gloop sack and you see like it's pulsating and I think maybe it starts cracking open and then that's the end of the movie. Yeah. So that begs me to ask you not that I know of. OK. I don't know if it's not a follow up. I mean a two million dollar movie that probably barely made his money back even on video. Hold on. This is 92. We have like five more years before we give up.
01:39:06
Speaker
Yeah, there's time. I mean, there might be a sequel. I don't know of a sequel. All right. Gotcha. He also has. You know what that translates to vinegar syndrome doesn't have a C. That's exactly what it translates to. Have you checked Amazon Prime? Have you checked to have you checked to be. Let's go around the horn. Let's start with Jack.
01:39:26
Speaker
It's really tough for me, but yes, I do recommend it. It is. It is some caveats. It's easily viewed, but it's not, but here's the thing. It's not the normal caveats. The caveat is you got to be an appreciator of this type of film. Yes. That's it. Drunk helps. Friends definitely help, but alone in sober. I would still dig this. I think because of who I am as a person and the movies I've seen. So I am literally riding the reins with you. I think that shotgun you need. I'm shotgunning this bitch. You have to have friends to watch this because you'd be like, what the fuck is going on? What is happening? You have to have an appreciation for B movies yeah and amazing practical effects, not just special effects. Yeah. Practical. but They are special. but They are very special practical events effects.
01:40:17
Speaker
ah Special events. No, I actually do recommend this, babe. Like, this was really fun to watch with you and Jack. Well, babe, do you recommend it? Obviously, I recommend it. I recommend it to you guys. Yeah, you did. I mean, I have brought movies to the show before that I don't recommend, but I really love it. This is the kind of thing I watch by myself, but I'm that guy. Not everybody is that person.
01:40:42
Speaker
um It's going to be more fun if you watch it with your friends, you laugh, you have a good time. You have to. Obviously, just like all these movies, it's more fun if you're drinking, it's more fun, e etc et cetera, et cetera. And it's easily watched. But it's just a fun movie if you like this kind of shit. Yeah. It's a fun movie to watch on your own. And yes, it's available on Prime right now. I don't know. They didn't say when I looked that up, I just used just watch. So I don't know if it's in HD on Prime, but but the fact that you can rent and buy it from Amazon. So I did just watch and it said that free was HD. Okay. Purchased. It didn't have it was SD or HD. I think I maybe ended up looking that up because it didn't say. What a weird thing. So that makes me think that when you watch it through Prime, it's going to be through something else. Freebie. I want to double up on my recommendation, though. Like, this is the type of bad movie I love doing on this podcast. Yes. It's not one that was painful by any fucking means. It was fun. And for for a lack of a better word, it was bad. Yeah.
01:41:37
Speaker
I mean, it is bad. The performances aren't great. Mostly he sheet it's poorly written, but it's just the special effects sell the whole thing. Yeah. Put a heart on it. Yeah. Yes. Heart on this. Um, so next week we continue the Halloween horror fest with the faculty. I was trying to remember the year. The faculty directed by George Rodriguez, George. Who the fuck is George? I don't know. Next week we continue. You say so many names. I don't know who the fuck George. Do I not know George Rodriguez? You're sounding like me.
01:42:07
Speaker
now sweet jm is not george origues there might be Next week you continue the Halloween Horror Fest with the faculty directed by Robert Rodriguez. There it is. I know that name. Starring ah Josh Hartnett, Usher. Yeah. John john Stewart. I was going to say, starring is a rough word, but John Stewart's there.
01:42:26
Speaker
I've seen this movie once. I remember really loving it. I I bought it on Blu-ray because it was like a five dollar Amazon Blu-ray buy. You bet. Only thing I remember about watching this movie is I remember enjoying it. And I remember Jon Stewart was a teacher. That's what I remember about this movie. I'm very excited. Before we get there, I'm going to tell you what I remember about this movie. Want to do fucking drugs from a pen. A hollow. Yeah, I know. Do some fucking good. Are they doing? They're sniffing out of fucking pens. Yeah, beautiful lesbian. I'm in love with.
01:42:56
Speaker
Yeah, I can't think of her name. I can't remember her name. Stokely is the character's name. Okay, I can't remember her actual name. I'm so in love with this woman. It sounds like we're excited. I'm an excite. So that's next week's movie. Don't forget to check out our Patreon at patreon.com slash worst people. Bitches, it's only three bucks. Yeah, three bucks a month. Thank you for the people that decide to spend three dollars on it. Oh, yes. Thank you. You get bonus episodes every month. If you sign up now, you get all the past episodes. Plus, you get early access to Hunt Took Shots first and you get it without the ads.
01:43:23
Speaker
ah This month's episode has not been decided yet because another perk of being a patreon is sometimes We give the the the reigns to you you get to decide your decider this month We have put up a poll on patreon to let the people decide if we are doing the fly from 1986 directed by David Cronenberg or the blob from 1988 directed by a guy whose name I can't remember right now. My viewing is in your hands. I patron, you get to vote on that. And that's exciting. So become a patron so you can vote. And this is a bad example because I like both these movies. But there's going to be a point where you could decide how much to torture me. Well, three dollars a month. You can torture a podcast. Well, previously we let the the patrons choose between Batman Forever and Batman and Robin. And we ended up with Batman Forever. Yeah. So I am mad at that.
01:44:16
Speaker
As of recording, the fly is in the lead, which I'm not mad about because David k Cronenberg, Jeff Goldblum, Gina Davis, signed me the fuck up. I'm also not mad about either. I'm not mad about either. I love both movies, so we'll see where it ends up. Yeah, that's it for this month. Thank you to Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. As always, please keep tuning in for Halloween Horror Fest. We're going to talk about horror movies all month. I've been Derek.
01:44:40
Speaker
I am still Whitney. I gotta pee. Don't forget, always check your cabin for gloop sex.
01:45:11
Speaker
I was today years old when I found out that your husband thought that Jerry Lewis and Jerry Lee Lewis were the same person. And all I thought about was goodness gracious great balls of fire. Hey lady. Yeah. Hard shrug. I thought that was the same dude.
01:45:30
Speaker
You shut my nose and you ran out of my brain.
01:45:36
Speaker
I'm wearing my 13-year-old nae squish. Yeah, they've they've got the same name. Barely. Barely. Barely. It's Jerry Lewis. And Jerry Lee Lewis. It's the same name. It's Jerry What's Jerry Lewis's name? Nobody doesn't like Jerry Lee. What's Jerry Lewis's name? Is it Lee? Funny. I don't know. I actually don't know. But it's not fucking Lee.