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069 - The Field of Wishes: Finding Hope in the Unlikeliest Places
17 Plays1 month ago
"Not all battles are fought boots on the ground."
In this deeply moving episode of Vulnerability Muscle, Reggie D. Ford sits down with author and podcast host Kim Lengling, a military veteran and survivor of trauma, who shares how she transformed her pain into purpose. Kim opens up about living with PTSD after a sexual assault in the military, and how a divine whisper on her living room floor set her on a healing journey that led her to spread “nuggets of hope” to strangers around the world.
With heartfelt stories of handing out hope—literally—in pockets of jeans and jars on shelves, Kim shows us the extraordinary power of empathy, kindness, and belief in something greater. The conversation explores Internal Family Systems (IFS), the role of faith in healing, and how childhood wonder, dandelion wishes, and a part named “Bart” all helped her rebuild from the inside out.
This episode is a masterclass in grace, resilience, and reclaiming humanity one act of kindness at a time.
Call to Action:
If you've ever felt alone in your pain or unsure of how to heal, this episode will wrap around you like a warm blanket. Listen now to reconnect with your strength, your softness, and your spark of hope.
Contact Info:
Guest – Kim Lengling
Website: https://www.kimlenglingauthor.com
Podcast: Let Fear Bounce
Books available on Amazon, including Nuggets of Hope and 15 Ways Pets Teach Us Kindness
Host – Reggie D. Ford
Website: https://reggiedford.com
Socials: @reggiedford on all platforms
Podcast: Vulnerability Muscle
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Empathy and Vulnerability
00:00:00
Speaker
You have to let the anger go at whatever circumstance you might have been in in the past. You do have to let that go. And over time, I did let it go. And I have found that having more empathy, I'm much better able and now equipped to understand where someone might be coming
Introducing 'Vulnerability Muscle' Podcast
00:00:20
Speaker
from.
00:00:20
Speaker
Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the inspiring podcast challenging norms and helping you redefine vulnerability as a strength. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle dives into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts.
00:00:38
Speaker
We explore the power of vulnerability and fostering meaningful connections. healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth. Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but good workouts often are.
Interview with Kim Lingling on Hope and Empathy
00:00:53
Speaker
So join us and flex that vulnerability muscle. Welcome to this episode of Vulnerability Muscle. I'm your host, Reggie Ford. Today I have with me Kim Lingling. If you spot someone hiking a trail with a coffee mug in one hand and a dog leash in the other,
00:01:11
Speaker
yop That's probably Kim. Kim's a multi-published author, podcast host, and all-around champion of hope and real talk. She's the voice behind the Let Fear Bounce podcast, where she shares stories that remind you hope is real, kindness matters, and you're never alone.
00:01:31
Speaker
even on rough days. As a veteran living with PTSD, Kim knows the power of small, hopeful moments. She's the lead author of six heart-hugging anthologies, the latest Paul Prince on the Kitchen Floor, and her book Nuggets of Hope Cultivate Kindness, drops real-life stories that lift you up when the world feels heavy.
00:01:54
Speaker
To continue her kindness mission, her newest release, 15 Ways Pets Teach Us Kindness, is available as an e-book this November. When Kim's not writing or recording, you'll find her relaxing with a good book, filling her coffee cup again, and walking with her dog, Dexter, living her best nature-loving life.
00:02:18
Speaker
Welcome, Kim. How are you today? I am doing great. This is, I've been looking forward to this because you were a guest not that long ago on let fear bounce and we had such a great conversation. So it's always nice to reconnect.
00:02:32
Speaker
I'm so glad we got to reconnect and and your podcast and your platform of spreading hope and kindness is something that I resonate with. And I think that the world needs to hear more. So I cannot wait for people to listen to that and to listen to what we got going here.
00:02:48
Speaker
That's right. Let's go. Yeah, so I want to start it off with a segment I call what comes to mind. And so you let me know the first thing, the first story, whatever pops into your mind, you let me know. Okay.
00:03:00
Speaker
Yep. What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability? Vulnerability. Oh, you know what automatically comes to mind? Weakness. And I know that's not a good thing, but in me, my brain, that's what comes. That's real.
00:03:14
Speaker
That's real. And I think that a lot of people will resonate with that. I
Childhood Memories and Cultural Differences
00:03:18
Speaker
think that's how we've been conditioned to think about vulnerability. So I appreciate that. What do you do to center yourself, to ground yourself if you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or maybe even depressed?
00:03:30
Speaker
I get outside and grab the dog and go. We just go out in the woods or out in the field, no matter the weather. I got to get outside because that's where I breathe. Yeah. You got a favorite place. Where are you based?
00:03:43
Speaker
I'm in Pennsylvania. I'm in a rural area. So I am surrounded by fields and woods and ponds and, you know, country. There you go. There you go. I love it. And then lastly, what is one of your favorite childhood memories?
00:04:00
Speaker
Being out in the woods, playing in the creek and lifting up rocks and finding crayfish and tadpoles and stuff like that. yeah I love You just said some words that, um Crick, i i i've I think I've only heard that in movies, but is that like a more East Coast way of pronouncing it? You know, people will argue and say it's Creek, but from where I come, we call it Crick. Yeah.
00:04:29
Speaker
Oh, that's good. That's good. well It's the same thing like with like soda or pop. It's pop where I'm from. Pop. Okay. Yeah. I don't think I've ever said pop in my life. Oh, really? So you're a soda person?
00:04:41
Speaker
Not even. i don't think I say soda. I say cold drink. Cold drink. Cold drink? Just cold drink. Oh, that's boring.
00:04:53
Speaker
Oh, man. No, this is good. So tell me a little bit more about where you grew up and and how that upbringing shaped you. You know I think I grew up real close to where I live now, probably 15 minutes from where I live now. And it was even more rural where I grew up. Small town, like small town America, one red light, two blocks.
00:05:13
Speaker
Wow. That was the size of the town. um Regularly see, you know, the Amish driving their buggies through town and along the roads and dirt roads. I grew up on dirt roads and um You know, sled riding down big old hills and on inner tubes or big old tractor inner tubes that like the farmer was getting rid of and we patched up and turned into sleds, you know, just small town, country, quiet,
00:05:42
Speaker
That's how I grew up. I was very big into sports because there wasn't a whole lot to do in my town, except for get in trouble and play sports. So our parents all tried to keep us as busy as they could. And so I played sports all through school, grade school, middle school, high school. I was very good at it, actually. I was quite the tomboy.
00:06:00
Speaker
What was your favorite sport? ah Softball. Okay. Yeah. I played softball, basketball, volleyball, um cheerleaded for a while too, but my favorite was softball. And because we were, we were a force to be reckoned with my high school team. We won the championship every year. So you go it was cool. Yeah. Very good memories. um But yeah, I grew up in a small town. i was outside all the time. Like I said, out in the, in the woods, playing in the Creek and,
00:06:28
Speaker
Playing that sports and, you know, just getting into trouble. just kids Just the country way of trouble. Right, right, right. Yeah. Oh, that sounds fun. Like I grew up in the city and so like, but to be out in nature as a kid.
00:06:45
Speaker
I enjoy nature as an adult, but to be in nature as a kid, I can only imagine just like the level of awe that you get from everything that you're experiencing out
Kim's PTSD Journey and Spiritual Awakening
00:06:55
Speaker
there. So I know that lot. we take it for granted, I think, because I grew up in it.
00:06:59
Speaker
But now that I'm a grandma, um I have my daughter a couple days or my granddaughter a couple of days a week and we're outside. All the time, as long as the weather's decent. And I'm now, again, which is such a blessing, seeing the world in all its amazing glory through her eyes. You know, you see that worm? That's amazing. Yeah. You see a little frog hopping along the sidewalk? That is amazing. Uh-huh.
00:07:27
Speaker
You know, a spider web? That's amazing. Kids have the ability to see the beauty of nature that we just walk past as adults. Yes, because, yeah, we lose that...
00:07:38
Speaker
awe as we grow up. And there's beauty in cities too. you know i just I'm not familiar with it. Right, right, right. But I'm sure there is. Absolutely. Everywhere you look, like there's something to to marvel at. Even if it's like the smallest bird, like let's let's look at it. Right. Or that little dandelion crawling up through that crack in the in the pavement and you know in a parking lot or something. I'm always amazed by that.
00:08:07
Speaker
To you, is a dandelion a weed or a flower? It's a flower. It's a flower. i love it. Yes. Well, you know, you can eat them. you can You can eat them. You can make wine with them. They're all kinds of stuff. So anything like that, I don't want to call a weed.
00:08:21
Speaker
Yeah, it's good. I like that. It's one of those flowers that I feel like can be perceived as a negative thing because they they grow where people don't often want them to grow in their grass or whatever it may be. Yeah. But you know what they're full of? You know what they're full of? You know when it turns into dandelion fluff?
00:08:39
Speaker
Nothing but wishes. Wishes, It's magical. It's magical. It is magic. Yes. Yes. Spring, there's this field in between my house and the neighbors. It's probably like a quarter acre field. And in the spring, it turns into the whole thing is filled with yellow dandelions. It's amazing. But then it turns to fluff.
00:08:58
Speaker
And I had my granddaughter and I said, look at the field of wishes. We got to go find some. Yeah. And we went and picked them up and she didn't, you she's not even two. So I was saying blow and we make wishes. And then they were flying and she was just giggling because they're flying everywhere in the wind. And I'm like, look at all those wishes just. And her eyes were just so big. And then I saw the world as she was seeing it for that moment. And I'm like, thank you, God, because this is one of the most special things ever.
00:09:29
Speaker
A field of wishes. out Yes. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. Tell me, how did you always have that that outlook on life to see the beauty in life in the way that you do today?
00:09:41
Speaker
No. Yeah. Nope. No, I did not. For a long time, I saw no beauty. I didn't feel it, didn't see it, didn't let it in. Let's put it that way.
00:09:53
Speaker
Yeah. I didn't let it in. um i experienced, you know, a traumatic event while I was serving in the military and for a good solid 15 or so years after I came home. Um, it was a long time where I carried a heavy, dark weight and I told myself I was fine and I was happy and content and life was good.
00:10:18
Speaker
You know, I got married, I had a baby, i was a mom, I'm doing all these things, but then, this is hindsight. here Looking back at that time, I realized, wow, just how unhappy I actually was.
00:10:34
Speaker
And it took like my whole world imploding for me to have that What do you want to call it? Dark shutters, whatever we want to call it, come off my eyes um to realize, oh, Kim, ooh we got to fix this.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah. We got to fix this. you You're on your knees. You are currently on your knees on your living room floor crying, like snot face crying, the ugly cry. I think I remember you mentioning that when when we talked, because yes we had that shared experience of being on the floor crying and having to reckon with ourselves. yeah Yeah.
00:11:15
Speaker
Yeah. And it, it's very hard and it hurts, hurts your soul because you've been holding everything for so long. And it's like, you know,
00:11:27
Speaker
That chipping away, you know, like a chisel and a hammer and you're like chipping away at like the mortar on a brick wall or something. You're just chip, chip, chip. And every little hit that, you know, you're just like, oh, oh man. Cause you've been holding, you've had those walls built for so darn long.
00:11:42
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And then they start chipping away as they should. And they always will. The walls will always come down. Mm-hmm. Yeah. they will. You can't hold stuff in like that forever. You can't. dealt they'll They'll crumble or or you you get to choose to let them down. Yeah, you're right. I didn't choose to let them down. It crumbled and brought me to my knees. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was tough.
00:12:04
Speaker
Do you care to share more about the experience in the military and what that was like? To develop PTSD from that, I'm sure many people can relate, but can you speak to your experience? Yeah. Mine, and I'll do it briefly if you don't mind. Yeah, don't mind. Because I have to just like blurt it and then be done with it. Yeah, your story. want you to feel it. I'm being honest. Yeah. I was sexually assaulted by two individuals while I was in the military.
00:12:30
Speaker
And um I was snagged in a parking lot and taken away. Oh, I'm Until I was able to run away. Wow. And that's the short version. And that's all I'm saying on that. But that did...
00:12:45
Speaker
change how I looked at the world and people and men. Everything was dark. I trusted no one. And I built walls. My counselor through the VA one time said, Kim, you have become a professional wall builder.
00:13:02
Speaker
Wow. And I went, yeah, I know. And she goes, well, now we have to teach you how to break that wall down. And I'm like, nope. You're like, no, this is protecting me. Right, right. It's protecting me. But like I said a few minutes ago, all walls have to come down. You you cannot keep that stuff inside because it's slowly churning. Yeah. And it will come out, like you said, if we as long if we let it or it's going to come out and it's going to drop us.
00:13:32
Speaker
Yeah. i know And mine dropped me. Mine dropped me right to my knees. oh I appreciate you you sharing that because, I mean, it's it's not easy. And, um you know, in in my you know perception, if i if I think about PTSD and and a veteran, I think about combat. I think about that. But you have an experience that i'm I'm sure other people can relate to and feel seen in hearing you be able to talk about it and come out on the side that you are after after doing the work that you're doing. So I really appreciate you opening up and being vulnerable in that way. Sure. I'm sure. You know, I've said before to folks that um because people do think PTSD veteran combat.
00:14:15
Speaker
um And, and I shared with a gentleman who was a combat veteran and, he was getting a little snippy and a little in my face about me saying I was a veteran.
00:14:27
Speaker
yeah um And I said, you know, not all battles are fought boots on ground in a war zone. Truth. Truth.
00:14:38
Speaker
Then that was all I said. And I walked away and I'm like, I'm not giving that person anymore my time or my energy. Yeah. Cause they didn't want to respect you. They, they came into it, not wanting to respect right you what your service was.
00:14:50
Speaker
So that's been that's been a go-to for me a few on a few occasions over the years. ah you know not all Not all battles are fought boots on ground in the battle zone. Yeah. And and honestly, if you think about like any major battle or any, I'm thinking from my perspective of football game, like the real work comes in the game planning, the strategizing, the the the things that you do prior to even...
00:15:16
Speaker
getting on the field or being in battle. Like it, it, it comes, you got to think about these things first and you got to make sure that there are systems and and procedures in place. and And so to be doing, to, to, to, to have that overall mindset when it comes to that is a, is a way to look at it. So yeah.
00:15:36
Speaker
Wow. Wow. So how did you start to break down those walls that you had built? Well, Well, I don't think it, well, I know it wasn't me.
00:15:51
Speaker
Um, cause when I was on my knees and I, I never went to church, I'd never read a Bible or anything like that. But when I was there in that spot, I had this whisper come like from behind me. It said, but those who hope in the Lord.
00:16:07
Speaker
And I thought I was losing my mind because I was, i that was my lowest spot that I could be that day. And then it came again, but those who hope in the Lord. And I had to turn around and look behind me. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm actually losing my mind. And I'm crying and, you know, sobbing. And, anna and, uh, then it came a third time and I'm like, oh my gosh, I have, I've lost my mind. What do I do?
00:16:30
Speaker
How do I get help? It was a very scary moment. But then I had like this little whoosh of like, just like this little whoosh of peace. And I thought, that sounds so Bible-ish.
00:16:44
Speaker
And that was, these are my exact thoughts. That sounds so Bible-ish. Gosh, I have to have a Bible in this house somewhere. And so I ran through the house, became a bit frantic, but I found this Bible And I went back down the living room, sat on the floor where I was before and opened it. and I'm trying to find something, but I'd never read the Bible. I didn't, I was looking for an index. There is no index in the Bible, you know? So I didn't know what I was doing. And I got angry and frustrated and threw it on the floor. And I have hardwood floors and it hit the floor and slid like two feet from me.
00:17:17
Speaker
And I just sat there and, you know, i was like, I don't even know what that was. I am losing my mind. I've, what do I do? What do I do? And then that whisper came again, by golly, but those who hope in the Lord.
00:17:31
Speaker
And I looked at the Bible again that had, you know, flipped open and where I'd thrown it in anger. And so I just kind of leaned forward, slid it back to me, picked it up, looked down.
00:17:43
Speaker
And it was as if the words were bolder or lighter. They kind of were lit up and the words were, but those who hope in the Lord,
00:17:55
Speaker
will ah fly on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not faint, Isaiah. And ever since then, that was the first big, big chip in my in the wall.
00:18:08
Speaker
Wow. And I started going to church. I went to church angry and left angry. Because I'm like, who does this guy think he is talking about Jesus up there?
00:18:21
Speaker
Yeah, right. Jesus. Yeah, he did that right. And prior to this, had you had any relationship with the and with Christianity? No, none. Wow. So I'm in my early 30s.
00:18:35
Speaker
So this was an interesting journey for me. Wow. But I kept, i like i like I said, i went I went angry and left angry. But I kept going.
00:18:46
Speaker
Every Sunday kept going. And then, uh, it was probably, I don't know, maybe a year later. So this is not anything I didn't like turn into this Christian and everything with beautiful. It was a bumpy, bumpy journey.
00:18:58
Speaker
Um, but that, that nugget had been placed, that mustard seed had been placed and tossed and caught however you want to think of it.
00:19:08
Speaker
But it was an Easter Sunday, um, uh, sermon and the pastor was praying at the end, praying, I can't remember when was praying, but I do remember prior, he said, you know, hold your neighbor's hands and let's bow our heads and pray.
00:19:22
Speaker
So I had my daughter on one side. she was just a little thing at the time. And a gentleman on my right side who had a broken arm and his, the only thing in the cast was a pinky. So we were holding pinkies.
00:19:33
Speaker
These are what, this is what I remember these little details. And I'm sitting there and all of a sudden my whole body breaks out and goosebumps. And I have tears pouring down my face. I can see that, you know, they're landing on my lap. And I turned to my daughter and she's looking at me and she goes, mommy, because she was maybe six, seven.
00:19:51
Speaker
She goes, mommy. and I turned to the gentleman beside me because he was, I felt him turning and look at me. And I looked at him and I went, do you feel that? And I whispered it. And it was almost kind of scary for me. I'm like, do you feel that?
00:20:06
Speaker
And he had the most brightest blue eyes. I i don't know who this guy was. um Brightest blue eyes. And he got the biggest smile on his face. And all he said to me was, and he squeezed with his pinky. All he said to me was, praise Jesus.
00:20:20
Speaker
Wow. And I had such a sense of peace just wash over me. i will never forget that morning ever. And that was the first time I left church and I wasn't angry.
00:20:36
Speaker
Wow. My daughter and I are holding hands and you know, we, we, I'm Baptist. So we were singing, you know, we sing praise and worship songs at the end of the service. And the last song that was playing had like a real snappy beat, you know, and Hey, because it was risen, you know, it was weird. was easy Sunday. Oh yeah. So we're leaving, we're walking out to the, um, to the car through the parking lot. My daughter starts, she's singing the song. So I start singing with her. She starts skipping. Yeah.
00:21:02
Speaker
Like, you know, little ones do. Like a child, yeah. Yeah, so I started skipping with her. And together, her and I held hands, skipping and singing that praise and worship song as we left
Managing Emotions and Healing through Vulnerability
00:21:12
Speaker
church. Oh, wow. That's powerful. That day, that day when things truly shifted for me and my walls now had windows.
00:21:24
Speaker
That is beautiful. Oh, I love that analogy too. Your walls have windows. And so like, I think that many people can relate to the anger of of going ah to to church and hearing about these things, especially after you've experienced something that you didn't have control over. And like, why would this happen to me? ah Can you describe just the the freedom that came with with that anger releasing and and leaving church? not ain't Like, what did that,
00:21:54
Speaker
feel like for you, like holding onto it and then releasing that? I wanted, it was like, you wanted to laugh and cry at the same time laughing because it was just amazing and crying in relief.
00:22:09
Speaker
know, you just wanted to laugh and cry. And I found myself doing that for days afterwards. You know, I would just be crying, but it wasn't the kind of crying that was sucking me down back into that hole.
00:22:21
Speaker
It was like releasing. Yeah. Cathartic. Yes. Yeah. Yes. yeah And there, you know, have I fallen back? Yeah, we all do.
00:22:33
Speaker
You know, there are times I have good days and i have bad days, but I have many, many more good days now than I do. It's not a solid bad day like it was for years and years. Yes. Because now I can recognize it when the D man starts to sneak his little head in there. I'm like, oh, no, no, not today.
00:22:48
Speaker
And I say that out loud because to me that gives it power. Yeah. Like you are not welcome. Not today. Yeah, that's real. And I love how you put that because I think one of the signs of my own personal healing is recognizing that a bad moment doesn't have to turn into a bad day or bad week or a bad month when it used to, yeah that they don't define those those periods of time in that length.
00:23:16
Speaker
um But you said something I think is really profound. I want talk about a little bit, but the the tears that you shed that sucked you down and pulled you deeper into the darkness versus the tears that were healing and cathartic, what does that feel like? What's the difference in those two?
00:23:33
Speaker
I could breathe o before I couldn't, I would have panic attacks. I mean, literally couldn't breathe. I would have major panic anxiety attacks, you know, chest getting tight, hyperventilating, you know, just in hands clenching, jaw clenched. My face would hurt because I was clenching so hard and I would be stopped in my tracks, you know, and tears would be streaming down my face.
00:23:58
Speaker
they They weren't cleansing or healing at that time. And, The other, you know, the ones even now, you know, because there are times I'll just cry at the drop of a hat. like, wow, what is this all about? but it But I'm feeling.
00:24:17
Speaker
Yeah. And for so long, I didn't. That's real. Because now I'm ridiculously empathetic. I mean, and sometimes that's hard.
00:24:28
Speaker
Yep. Because you feel others. You feel a lot of weight. Yes. Yes. And it comes at you. And I'll be like, oh, too many people can't breathe. Yep. I have to go outside.
00:24:40
Speaker
Yes. And anybody who knows me well enough, if I just get up and leave and go outside for a few minutes, they're like, oh, she just needs to go breathe. Uh-huh. Yeah.
00:24:51
Speaker
Oh man. Uh, I, in, in full transparency and vulnerability, I, I've been crying this morning. And it like I was literally had a therapy session earlier and i ended the therapy session saying, thank you. I needed this and I needed those tears. And it was cathartic tears and it was a release. I've had some significant news happen. One of my best friends, dad's just passed away. And ah he's like a, you know, ah uncle to me. And and just the the weight of that was hard and is hard. And
00:25:28
Speaker
yet You know, I in the past probably would have pushed it down, used this entire day or week or month to work like so I wouldn't feel anything and numb myself. But to just feel it and process it, it's a beautiful thing when you're when you're able to do it.
00:25:46
Speaker
And so um I love that you're able to feel now. I love that. That's a beautiful thing. Oh, man. Most times it is. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it it it reminds us that we're alive. It or it reminds us that we're human.
00:26:00
Speaker
And I think so many times we get dehumanized to not feel emotion, not feel pain, and just to suck it up and walk through life without acknowledging that.
00:26:13
Speaker
and And that's not human. and and And, you know, I hope that I continue to feel all the feelings, the myriad of feelings, the rainbow of emotions. Like, I want to feel all those things.
00:26:24
Speaker
Cause that's a reminder to me that I'm still here. Right. Yeah. that you that That you are human and you, the way I look at is if, cause I didn't feel before. So it was also like, when you don't feel, you don't care, you know?
00:26:42
Speaker
And now that, you know, for years now, you know, I feel sometimes i I'll have days I'm like, this is too much. But I've also learned to gather the tools that I need over the years to protect myself, but I don't have to build those walls so big and so high. I don't really have to build walls, but I do have to protect myself at times. Yeah. You build fences and their boundaries. Right. Right. With people, with the world, with media, you know, like you said, that's it's, it's a,
00:27:15
Speaker
I can't remember the exact words you used, but my first thought that I had when you were just talking, I was thinking we're so, we're so bombarded with negativity every single day, every day.
00:27:28
Speaker
And for me, since probably 2020, since COVID, that bombardment was so much. Yeah.
00:27:38
Speaker
Hey, we're going to keep on feeding you fear today. Keep on, here it comes. Here comes some more fear. And then, you know, people would be angry and all this other stuff that was going on. I'm going, oh no, no, this is not landing here.
00:27:53
Speaker
That's how I started my, my podcast, let fear bounce. Yeah. Cause I'm like not landing on me. I'm, I'm that stuff's bouncing. I'm not letting the fear land on me.
Creating 'Let Fear Bounce' Podcast during Pandemic
00:28:02
Speaker
You're not going to feed me fear. Yeah. Believe me, I can come up with enough all on my own if I wanted to I don't need it being fed to me with a spoon. you know yeah I'm like, pick that spoon back. i don't want it So tell me about that. Tell me ah how Let Fear Bounce came to be and how it's evolved over time.
00:28:23
Speaker
Like I said, is that um yeah right at the beginning of COVID, um myself, along with millions of other people, lost I lost my job. I was a sales and marketing manager for a manufacturing company and lost my job because doors closed.
00:28:38
Speaker
You know, it just that so many people out there probably shaking their head right now. Yeah, I was one of them. Well, you know, that's not a fun place to be. And I'm and of a certain age. And I thought, you know, well, this sucks.
00:28:51
Speaker
And I don't recall being in this type of position before. And so I said, all right, Kim, what you're going to do, you're going to give yourself 24 hours to be mad. And I did.
00:29:02
Speaker
And I did it really well. I was really good at that for 24 hours. And then I said, okay, now the next, you know, the next day, tomorrow morning, when you wake up, you're going to pull up your big girl panties and you're going to figure something out.
00:29:16
Speaker
And my main thought was, i am not going to send out resumes. I'm just not going to do it. I'm not going back out into that world that's turned weird now because you wouldn't have been able to find a job anyway.
00:29:29
Speaker
You know, at that time, literally there was, everything was closed at least where I was at. So there was no new job for me to go find right away. And I thought, all right, well, I'm just, what are you good at?
00:29:40
Speaker
What do you like to do? And what do you have a passion for? Those are the three things I asked myself. Yeah. And then I said, okay, then let's make something happen. Let's like, you know I'm talking like me, myself, and I, the three of us, let's get to work.
00:29:55
Speaker
Cause it was just me and the dog. You weren't allowed to see people. Remember? yeah And, um, so we, you know, everybody was stuck at home. And so I started a podcast. I had no idea.
00:30:07
Speaker
then I had no idea what I was doing. I literally Googled it and researched for two hours. And then on my old laptop with no camera, no microphone, just what was on my laptop, I recorded the first few episodes. And then they're so bad. They're so bad.
00:30:26
Speaker
But I did it anyway. I'm like, well, I like talking to people. I like making new friends. I like giving people, you know, an opportunity to share their story. So I thought, well, look you know, I'm going to try this. So here we are five years later and I'm still doing it. yeah know I'm still, you know.
00:30:41
Speaker
plugging along. yeah Am I a pro at it No, but I'm enjoying it. And I've met some amazing people just like you. so you know, the connections, the connections and stories. and And I am positive that you can say the same thing. Absolutely. And a blessing over and over and over again. Absolutely. And I'll i'll give a shout out to Brenda Doe, who introduced us. That's right. Yeah.
00:31:08
Speaker
If you haven't listened to that episode, please listen to it. And um was she on Let Fear Bounce as well? Yes, she was because she shared her book and she sent a copy of her book. Yes. Such a wonderful human who introduced us in the community keeps growing of like-minded people who are spreading hope and love. And and and so she's got a great story. Yes, absolutely. Great personal story. And then yeah her book, for she has children's book.
00:31:34
Speaker
just on Yeah, you you said some things or criteria that you looked for. And and I want to I want to go back to that. So you said what what you were good at, what you had passion for. What was the third?
00:31:47
Speaker
What I liked to do. What am I what am i good at? What do i like to do? And what do I have a passion for? I love that. Like for people out there seeking fulfillment and what they what they're their purpose is on life, I think those are some good questions to ask yourself. And it reminds me of of a book and a philosophy called Ikigai.
00:32:09
Speaker
Have you heard of Ikigai? So it's spelled I-K-I-G-A-I, Ikigai. But it's it's a, I want to say it's a Japanese concept that is all about the reason for being, um like the raison d'etre. And they ask these four questions when you're looking to pursue a a reason for being, a purpose in life.
00:32:34
Speaker
And the first is, what do you love to do? What are you good at? What does the world need? And and i think this last one was was a more westernized at addition to it.
00:32:47
Speaker
What can you be paid for? Right. So those four questions help people discover what they what a purpose is in life. Like what does the world
Spreading Hope through 'Nuggets of Hope'
00:32:58
Speaker
need? What does the world need? Right. Because we we can do a lot. Yeah.
00:33:04
Speaker
Got a song in my head now. What the world needs now. There you go. I gave everybody an earworm. Yes. I mean, and I think so. you You give out a lot of things like that. But tell me about Nuggets of Hope.
00:33:20
Speaker
That was another journey. Just amazing how this stuff comes. I began seeing the word hope. everywhere, like on billboards, on TV. I was hearing it in songs, podcasts. I was reading it. i mean, it was just showing up everywhere. And for a couple of weeks, and finally I was like, all right.
00:33:42
Speaker
And I'm looking up, you know, I'm like, okay, is this a message? Are you trying to get my attention? and the the thought, the very strong thought was, yes, you're supposed to do something with this word hope.
00:33:55
Speaker
And I'm going, what am I supposed to do? And at that time, I was not feeling hopeful. was kind of you know, i was in one of my down, down spots. And this is oh over two and a half years ago now.
00:34:08
Speaker
And i was like, hope I'm supposed to give people hope. And I'm not feeling much of it right now. And I didn't know what to do. You know, then I remembered, Years ago, you know, working, you know, outside of the office in the corporate world, I had to go to a lot of networking events and someone at some point had given out these little packs of six cards.
00:34:31
Speaker
that had like positive affirmations on Like, you're awesome. You're a rock star. You've got this. And so i was like, okay, well, I know I have, I kept those little cards somewhere. So I went digging, found them and said, I'll just put them on my purse. And when I feel inspired, I'll do something with them.
00:34:48
Speaker
So then one day i'm at the store at a grocery store. And all of a sudden I was like, Oh, I think I'm supposed to, i think I'm going to hand out these nuggets of hope. And then I'm like, but I'm not going to give them to people.
00:35:01
Speaker
Because that would be weird and kind of creepy. So I just tucked them throughout the store. Like I put one in with the motor oil. I put one in the pocket of a pair of jeans. I put one in with some cookies. I just dropped them where I thought.
00:35:15
Speaker
That's so cool. And I'm thinking, you know, as I'm doing it, I'm like, okay, nugget of hope. And that's where the term nugget of hope came from. i'm like, ooh, nugget of hope here. Nugget hope here in the motor oil for the boys. Nugget of hope here. You know, and I was done. I'm like, okay, did it.
00:35:30
Speaker
Yeah. You know? And I'm like, well, whoever gets those, I hope it brings them a smile. And then I was just on my merry way. But the word started showing up like two times as much.
00:35:43
Speaker
And I'm going, whoa, I did what i was supposed to do. you know, what am I supposed to do? i go I kept saying, I already did the nuggets of hope. and But then I kept getting this little picture in my head of an actual nugget.
00:35:57
Speaker
you know, like a stone or something. And then I was, so I'm getting online and I'm looking up, you know, and I find, i actually have one here. I found some online, they're polished stones that have the word hope engraved on them.
00:36:11
Speaker
And I found those online. So i was like, okay, I'll buy a pack of them. They weren't, they're not cheap. And I, I was not in a good spot then. And I'm like, Oh, going buy all these, all this hope.
00:36:24
Speaker
and So I bought them and I got them. They arrived. they All my hope arrived.
00:36:33
Speaker
And as soon as I opened them up and I'm looking, I'm going, oh, these are really pretty. And then it was like this feeling said, now go out and give people hope.
00:36:43
Speaker
But I knew right away i was to approach people to actually talk to people and say, here's some hope. And I'm like, Oh no. Yeah. No.
00:36:55
Speaker
So I kept a couple in my purse. You know, I had one in my pocket and I was at the store again and walking down an aisle and I see an older lady standing in the aisle. She's got like a hand on a cart and she's looking at the items on the shelves. But And you've probably been able to do this too. You can recognize in someone else when they're in a spot that's kind of stopped them in their tracks.
00:37:19
Speaker
And I recognize that that's what that lady was in. She wasn't seeing what was on the shelf. She was like in a spot and I'm going, Oh, Oh, I've been her. And I've been there.
00:37:30
Speaker
I've been in this store having a panic attack. I can recognize it, you know? wow And so I just walked up and made sure I came up on her side. So I didn't startle her. And I said, excuse me, ma'am.
00:37:41
Speaker
And then, you know, a gentle voice. And I just held up my hand. I said, I would love to give you a nugget of hope today. And she held out her hand. She didn't even. Instinctively. yeah oh straight Yeah. She just instinctively held her hand out. And I put the the nugget in her hand and I just said, I wish you a blessed day.
00:37:58
Speaker
And I turned and walked back towards my cart because I'm not, Even to this day, I strongly feel I'm not supposed to chit chat with them. I'm not supposed to find out their story or their name. I'm just supposed to this.
00:38:10
Speaker
And so I did that. And as I'm walking away, i hear her say, oh my goodness, you have no idea. You have no idea. Thank you. And I turned back and just glanced quickly. And she was standing there looking down at it in her hand.
00:38:24
Speaker
And she's just like, you have no idea. You have no idea. And i got my stuff, paid for it, went out to my car, put my head on my steering wheel and just cried. Oh, my goodness. And that's like that was the first nugget I gave out. And I've been doing it for almost three years now.
00:38:42
Speaker
Oh my goodness. That is so, that's such a, a heartwarming story because like you said, you didn't, you didn't learn her name, her story or what was going on, but she needed it.
00:38:54
Speaker
She needed it in that moment. I'm curious. I'm strongly nudged. Yeah. and and And that's like one of those those feelings where like if on the receiving end of that, because I've been on ah on the receiving end of of different things where it didn't make sense, but this person showed me an act of kindness and I was just like, that was an angel for the day.
00:39:14
Speaker
yeah And I bet that many people have ah viewed you in that way in their lives when when receiving a nugget of hope or even the person who bought those jeans and and reached in that pocket and found that like you have spread so much positivity. I am so glad that you you just mentioned the jeans because as I've been doing this, i was thinking there's got to be something that's not quite so heavy to carry around in my pockets. Yeah.
00:39:44
Speaker
And I've been, I was asked to go speak at a few different places for like Mother's Day and local nursing homes. People asked me to go speak on, um on Veterans Day, things like that. So, and plus these are kind of costly. So, but i it was, I was asked to speak on Nuggets of Hope. So I got these little tiny cards made and i made them square. don't know if i have one in front of me, but they're yellow And it says, be a nugget of hope today.
00:40:10
Speaker
And on the backside, it says, the world's a better place because you're in it. o And so I had a bunch of those made. much, much cheaper. And I got those made for when I go speaking places, but I started carrying some of those around with me too. And the one day I was in a different store, was in a clothing store and I tucked it in several pockets in the women's section, like sweaters and blouses. And I did that one because I was leaving and then I was like, oh, I should leave and now get a home. And because it came so strong, put it in the sweaters. Mm-hmm.
00:40:47
Speaker
Yeah. And i on the back of that card, I have a little QR code. So if they, if people want to do that, then they, it gets, they take, it takes them to my website where they can see the book nuggets of hope.
00:41:01
Speaker
And that shares the stories of, you know, me giving these nuggets out to people. And I'm hoping that that's a blessing to people. yeah Several days later, I got a message through Facebook from ah a young lady. I'd never spoken to. I don't know her. And she said, I don't know if I have the right person.
00:41:18
Speaker
But I found a card that was a nugget of hope and a sweater that I bought. And I was buying a sweater for an event, um a fancy event that I was going to.
00:41:32
Speaker
and I'm trying to lose weight. And I was trying to find something that would make me feel good about myself to wear. Man. And when I got home and tried on the sweater with the outfit that I was going to wear and was looking in the mirror, i I put my hands in the pockets and pulled out your card.
00:41:49
Speaker
Wow. Yes. Oh, yeah i know. i know. and then she said, she said that made my day. She goes, and I want to tell you right now that I am promising that to take this card and drop it in another pocket somewhere someone else be benefited by it and it'll be a nugget of hope for someone else. And she said, thank you for doing what you do Oh my goodness. That is affirmation enough for what you're doing is in the right direction. Like, God.
00:42:23
Speaker
Dang, I'm curious. Have you, have you, so that's one instance where someone has reached out to you and said, this is what that did for me. Do you ever like imagine what another nugget of hope, like you saw that woman in the store and you gave it to her Do you like imagine her walking on about her life and then doing something good or getting, you know feeling better about herself? Like, do you imagine what that after effect is for them?
00:42:49
Speaker
Not all the time, a few times. And one really good example is of an older gentleman. He had to have been in his eighties. He was very angry and he yelled and sweared at me, um, loudly in the middle of a store. And I approached him and it was so strong. It's like, that man needs nugget of hope.
00:43:10
Speaker
And I'm thinking he was mumbling and grumbling for just to himself, looking at the shelves. And I'm like, Oh, He's not having a good day, but I knew that was who I was supposed to approach. And so I walked up I said, excuse me, sir.
00:43:25
Speaker
I would love to give you a nugget of hope. And he turned and looked at me and he goes, what the hell do I have to hope for? Just blasted me in the face with it. And I just stood there and went, well, there's always hope.
00:43:40
Speaker
And he was so angry with me and used more language And I just stood there patiently waiting him out because I knew it wasn't me he was mad at.
00:43:50
Speaker
And I held my hand out. I'm standing there holding my hand out. And I said, sir, I would love to give you a nugget of hope. He held his hand out and accepted it.
00:44:01
Speaker
Yeah. Put it in his pocket. wow Still mumbling, still swearing at me. Put it in his pocket. right right right right Angry, angry. And I said, you know, sir, I wish you a blessed day.
00:44:14
Speaker
You're a blessing. but you know And I'm like, ah okay. And I turned and walked away. I got to my car. and This is another instance where when I was done doing my stuff, I got to my car and I cried because my heart hurt so bad for him.
00:44:26
Speaker
And all of these different scenarios just were like bombarding my brain. He's been really sick for months and months. And this is the first time he's gotten out of the house and he's trying to find groceries and he can't find the stuff that he wants. And he's so frustrated and he doesn't feel good. He's so tired. He just wants to get home er or maybe his wife just passed away.
00:44:48
Speaker
And this is the first time he's been out on his own because, you know, after funerals and all of that, and it gets real quiet and that person's left on their own. All the people and all the casseroles and everything are done.
00:45:00
Speaker
Maybe it's the first time he's ventured out and he's standing there trying to find the right dish soap because that's what he was yelling about. And he just needed to find the dish soap that his wife had used for the last 50 years.
00:45:13
Speaker
And he couldn't find it. It's beautiful perspective. These were stories that were going through my head. Yeah. could be any of those scenarios. Maybe he's her caregiver. Maybe she has Alzheimer's and he's her sole caregiver. And he is just so flippin' tired.
00:45:24
Speaker
He can't even think straight. He just wants to find the dang dish soap so he can go home and do the dishes that have piled up for the last three days because he's too darn tired to do them.
The Power of Empathy in Healing
00:45:33
Speaker
Wow. These were the stories that were the the, you know, that's what was in my head as I'm sitting in my my car crying.
00:45:42
Speaker
Yeah. And it could have been any one of those or none, but I honestly believe it was at least one of those. Yeah. and And just having that perspective is yeah amazing. Yeah. And I'm thinking, good you know what? He's going to go home.
00:45:54
Speaker
And like most older folks do, because I thought of my grandfather, when he get home, he empties his pockets. either puts him in a bowl in that hallway table or in some sort of container on his dresser and then the next day you grab it all up and shove it back in the pocket so i was picturing that guy doing that and then maybe it was later that day when he emptied his pockets and looked down and went hope ah damn you know Or maybe it was the next morning.
00:46:23
Speaker
Yeah. Went to grab all the stuff and put back in his pocket for a new day. oh And maybe he picked it up and looked at it. He's like, oh, hope. Okay, maybe, maybe. Yeah. You know? So I don't think. What gift. You know, i don't I don't mind being yelled at because I knew he wasn't yelling at me. His anger wasn't directed at me.
00:46:40
Speaker
And I just stood there and took it. You know? I'm like, no. Okay, God, I'm going to take this one for the team. That's what you're asking me to do. Okay, I'll take it. I can handle it. That takes so much poise and so much patience and wisdom, like to know that he wasn't yelling at you. Right. And I think we get in relationships with people who in moments and and I've been I've been a perpetrator of this where different parts of my past show up and it's yeah I'm angry at a situation, but it comes out at a person.
00:47:11
Speaker
That's my PTSD that that's past stuff coming out. But to have someone on the receiving end have patience and understanding and grace, knowing that that's a part of me that was hurt, that's not me.
00:47:25
Speaker
And for you to be able to extend that to another human and know that that wasn't him and he's not angry at you it was ah is a beautiful display of empathy. at Wow. like And that that alone is a gift because how many other people would have been giving him that same exact energy back. Where are people walking by just looking at us like, oh my gosh. And you could tell in their faces, like, I can't believe you're standing there taking that.
00:47:50
Speaker
and Yeah. And I'm thinking, you know what? We all need to take one on the chin every once in a while for someone else. How do you, what what has been your practice in building that patience for other people after experiencing what you've experienced?
00:48:06
Speaker
Because PTSD can make you, you can be triggered. the reason. That's the reason i I make myself stop, take a breath and go, Kim. How did you build that? How did you build that ability?
00:48:19
Speaker
Oh, it was a long time. Yeah. Because you have to let the anger go. At whatever circumstance you might've been in, in the past, you do have to let that go. And over time I did let it go.
00:48:35
Speaker
and i have found, and let me know if it's the same for you, because you know, you you live with PTSD as well. And I have found that having more empathy, I'm much better able and now equipped to understand where someone might be coming from.
00:48:50
Speaker
Whereas before I'd be like, I don't need this drama. Mm-hmm. You know, and it'd be like, poo-poo it off. I do not need this today. Yep. You know, um now there are time and I, and I don't know.
00:49:04
Speaker
Sometimes it is someone just wanting drama, you know, and you're like, no, right done with that. Right. But when you can tell,
00:49:15
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know how it came about. I think it was the slow a slow thing that I didn't recognize. It's just now i can, certain people in certain circumstances, I can sit there and go, oh, they, they need empathy.
00:49:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You know, something and and I'm so empathetic. You can feel certain things and it's like, all right, this person is sounding angry, but they're so hurt.
00:49:41
Speaker
Hmm. You know, you can feel hurt more than anger. That's it. You know, does that make sense? It makes total sense. Okay. like to i So i i was literally just describing this scenario.
00:49:56
Speaker
I did a grief camp with kids who, you know, this was from the entire camp of second grade through high school. And I was specifically working with the middle schoolers because that is a age of transition. that group age a age. hard age. And that group the year prior was was the the age that gave us the most behavior issues.
00:50:20
Speaker
And in that, right, these kids have lost someone significant in their lives, all of them, every single one of them. And to see the behavior, like I recognize it as this is a ah young human who has just lost somebody or or in the past has lost somebody significant to them and it shows up as behavior.
00:50:41
Speaker
And it's going to come out in bad words or wanting to be aggressive or wanting to be violent because they are upset. They are hurt, like you said. and we can and And I think we a lot of us can have greater empathy for that child in that moment. But then when it's an adult behaving in that same way, we somehow lose the fact that there was one point a little child in that person that was hurt and that development stopped and that person kept growing physically and got older and has gray hairs. And, but that still, there's a part of them that still gets hurt in the same way.
00:51:18
Speaker
And to have that same empathy for them and seeing that that behavior, that reaction was from a place of hurt and not from a bad person. Like I think that takes tremendous amount of self-healing and understanding and then growth to extend that to other people. And you, You know, and I think a lot of it, as you were talking, a lot of it, I'm very active with my veteran post and my local veteran community. And over the years, and the majority of the veterans that I know and and do things with and hang out and I'm friends with, they're combat Vietnam veterans.
00:51:55
Speaker
And i have learned so much from them. over the years, like close to 30 years now, I've learned so much from them. And when they have bad days, some of them, you'd be like, okay, ooh, their PTSD is kicking in today. Ooh, boy.
00:52:11
Speaker
But then I sit there and in my brain, I'm like, they were 18 years old. Yeah. Doing things that most could not fathom or even imagine having to do just to survive the day.
00:52:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So 18 years old, that's a kid still. I don't care if they say 18 as an adult, my experience, I was 18 and I didn't know how to handle it.
00:52:41
Speaker
And it took 15 years for me to face it. Wow. You know, And my daughter, when she was 18, and I remember when she turned 18, I became so overprotective. i mean, she's going to college. i'm like, oh my gosh, I have to go with her. I mean, because, you know, anything could happen. My brain went crazy yeah with worry. Yeah.
00:53:02
Speaker
Anything can happen. Someone's going to grab her in a park. i mean, it was just, i and i then I had to keep telling myself, but I i taught her well. I taught her to be situationally aware. I took her to self-defense classes. So should it, God forbid, but should she need to, she should be able to bring someone down long enough to run away.
00:53:22
Speaker
you know um So I did all of those things, but my brain still went on overload. And that's one thing that I've, you know, the the empathy part, that's where it kicks in. And you you can't take something personal. It's like, you got to see that 18 year old behind, like you just said, behind the the gray hairs, behind the wrinkles, behind that anger.
00:53:48
Speaker
Whenever it is that that traumatizing thing happened to someone. Yeah. You know, there's still that, there's still that age. Yeah. In their brain, you know, from where that came, those hits still keep coming.
00:54:03
Speaker
Yes. And they're still that age, you know, and don't even know if I'm making sense, but that's how I look at some of these guys and they're in their seventies now. And some of them still hurt a lot. Yeah.
00:54:16
Speaker
And it hurts my heart to see it. And they're hurting from an 18 year old perspective of not knowing how to handle everything they just saw, yeah everything they just had to do.
00:54:27
Speaker
yeah watching their buddy explode beside them and being covered in pieces of them.
Understanding Internal Parts and Personal Growth
00:54:33
Speaker
and I mean, this was reality to them. Yeah. It makes a lot of sense.
00:54:39
Speaker
Yeah. It makes so much sense. And and there's ah there's a um ah modality in therapy called IFS, Internal Family Systems. Yes. Being introduced to that this. All of the parts. Understanding parts of people, understanding parts of yourself. And there's a really good book that I want to point out. It's called You Are the One You've Been Waiting For.
00:55:03
Speaker
by Richard Schwartz. And Richard Schwartz is the the doctor who who found it. know. I have it. Do you? It is such a great book to understand what we're talking about. It breaks it down so easy.
00:55:17
Speaker
Yes. And for people that don't know what IFS is, yes parts, I don't know how you've done your parts, but I actually, my counselor says, what does that part look like? Yep. Give it a name. Yep. Yep.
00:55:28
Speaker
so yeah I literally know what my parts look like. They have names. And she'll be like, well, who are you hanging out with today? You know, because when I first heard about it because I went through different modalities over the years, believe me. And they just didn't, it just didn't stick with me. Yeah. And then my counselor, the one day she said,
00:55:50
Speaker
She introduced me to IFS and she goes, not everyone's going to be able to do this. She goes, but Kim, you're so creative. You're a writer. Your brain thinks so far outside the box at times. Let's try this. That's fun. And as soon as she started working on me with it, I went, and it just felt so right.
00:56:09
Speaker
And pet and um'm she's like, and I go, I don't have multiple personalities. and I'm not crazy. Right. She goes, no, that's right. Right. But it was so interesting for me when she would say, what does that look like?
00:56:23
Speaker
And my chaos for me, my chaos is a stick person. So i I always, I laugh and joking, but it's actually, I'm the queen of my wound i'm the queen of my own realm.
00:56:35
Speaker
yeah I am the queen of my realm. And around my realm is a wall. yeah Because all realms have walls and a drawbridge and all of that. So this is my realm.
00:56:46
Speaker
And when chaos comes, it comes in the form of a stick person running back and forth across the top of that wall, just like chaos, chaos, chaos. And I named him Bart.
00:56:58
Speaker
ah I'm just visualizing that. it is Yes, and see, seen you can visualize it. And that's when I'll be like, oh my gosh, this day is crazy. I'll be like, Bart, you've got to settle to your butt down.
00:57:10
Speaker
And then she's like and she then she says, well, who who settles Bart down? What part's that? And I immediately went chainmail guy, the guy that's all dressed in chainmail. He walks along the perimeter on the inside of the wall, keeping control of everything. and So when Bart goes crazy, chainmail guy says, back her down, Bart. Yeah.
00:57:32
Speaker
That is fantastic. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so glad you brought up IFS because it's so fascinating. is It is. You learn so much about yourself in it and you learn about other people and have so much more empathy for other people through it.
00:57:47
Speaker
And empathy for yourself. It's like, oh, I am not that. A part of me felt that. A part of me feels this, but I am not whatever that thought process I'm not fully Bart. Yeah. Oh, it's so liberating. Where are one of your parts?
00:58:03
Speaker
Oh, man. I got a lot of parts. I got. so do i I got a part. Deuce is a part. His name is Deuce. Deuce is a part who gives no fucks about anybody.
00:58:18
Speaker
soon as you said Deuce, I'm thinking he's a badass. Because Deuce was left alone. Deuce was left alone and had to fend for himself. And so he's he's really scared. He's a scared little boy.
00:58:32
Speaker
But instead of showing that fear, he shows it in apathy and anger. and And so that's how he approaches the world. And... um Yeah. When I feel that come up, because I know that the whole of me cares a lot about people and, and cares about humanity and the earth and all things. But when I start to feel that apathy or even resentment come up toward people and, and the world, um, Deuce has been activated in a way. Yeah. So, yeah, I try to have a, piece do you have a peaceful part?
00:59:07
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I have a lot of peaceful parts. um And the peaceful warrior is the the description.
00:59:19
Speaker
And it's a yoga pose as well, but it's also like he he he knows that inside of him is the ability to go to war, but he chooses peace.
00:59:32
Speaker
and And that part shows up when when Deuce or other parts are like ready to turn up, like green light, let's go. um This is so cool.
00:59:44
Speaker
I've never talked to anybody else. I'm glad you asked. This is so cool because my peaceful part is hippie chick. Hippie chick.
00:59:55
Speaker
and She lives out in the fields that surround the realm. So when I need to breathe and get some peace, that's when Dexter and I go outside the wall.
01:00:10
Speaker
and hang out with hippie chick because she's all about nature and tell me, please tell me that there is a field of dandelions out there, a field of wishes out there with hippie chicks. Yes. Outside my realm. I might, where I live, I'm surrounded by fields and woods. Let's go. Oh, this. Yeah.
Closing Thoughts on Hope and Resilience
01:00:29
Speaker
And so that's hippie chick is my peaceful one. So, and I take a lot of walks, you know? And so when I get out there, you know, I'll be like, Hey, hippie chick here. I'm again, you know, let's take a walk. And, and I think God guides all of that because those, those little things,
01:00:52
Speaker
Like the the dandelion, the fluff floating on the breeze, the sunrise making the dew sparkle on tops on the tops of like you know ah the tall weeds and stuff or corn stalks. And they have just those little sparkles of dew. yeah And the sun coming up is turning everything kind of like a tinge of pink.
01:01:11
Speaker
yeah And just then you just kind of go in awe. you know And I'm like, thank you. Thank you, God. And thank you, Hippie Chick, for bringing me out here today. That's beautiful. Oh, we could go IFS all day long and talk about all our different parts. But before we close out, want go through just a quick fill in the blank.
01:01:32
Speaker
You let me know what comes to mind. Okay. So a nugget of hope for the audience today is blank. Remember that you have a 100% success rate of getting through the tough stuff because you're still standing.
01:01:49
Speaker
my biggest superpower is blank kindness if i could give one piece of advice to my younger self it would be blank you're gonna be okay yeah and i feel most inspired when blank i talk to people like you Feeling is mutual. i appreciate that, Kim. Kim, this has been fantastic. I mean, you like have have lifted, i told you I was crying early and you've lifted my spirits. There's been so much, not just talk of hope, but but exuding hope and and providing that. And I appreciate you for that. And I think the listeners will as well.
01:02:33
Speaker
Are there any final thoughts, any final messages you want to leave the audience? Just just remember folks, you're so much stronger than you think you might be. I mean, i if you're in a dark spot, I've been there.
01:02:46
Speaker
I've been at the bottom of the barrel, hanging on by my fingertips until I had someone come and say, Kim, make sure you look up. Don't look down. as The light is up. Make sure you look. and I've never forgotten that. So don't forget that either. Whatever your beliefs are.
01:03:02
Speaker
There's always a there's always a spark of light to get towards. Always, always, always. There's always a pinprick of hope somewhere. Just keep your eyes open and your heart open and you'll see it. oof I love that. Kim, how can people connect with you contact you, find your stuff? How can they reach you?
01:03:17
Speaker
Easiest place is my website, which is just my name. It's KimLengLengAuthor.com. Podcast is on there. My books are on there. other little snippets. You'll meet Dexter, my dog. He's on there because he's my office manager and he keeps me on track and tells me what I need to do and when. So you'll be able to see all kinds of stuff on there and then meet my dog too. So KimLangLangAuthor.com. All my books are on Amazon and a new one, 15 Ways Pets Teach Us Kindness. It's going to be an ebook only, but that one's coming out November fifth
01:03:50
Speaker
Let's go. Kim Lingling, I appreciate you so much, Kim, with all the things that you could be doing and all the places you could be. I appreciate you being here with me embracing vulnerability.
01:04:00
Speaker
Thank you for having me. I appreciate It's been a huge blessing. Thank you. Thank you for joining us in another episode of Vulnerability Muscle. If you've enjoyed these conversations around vulnerability, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback not only motivates us to continue to do the work that we do, but it allows other people to witness the power of vulnerability. Share your thoughts.
01:04:23
Speaker
on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, or wherever you're listening from. And don't forget to spread the word. You can follow us at vulnerabilitymuscle on Instagram and me personally at Reggie D. Ford across all platforms.
01:04:37
Speaker
Visit vulnerabilitymuscle.com for additional resources and support. And remember, embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. It is the source of your greatest strength.
01:04:49
Speaker
Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but most workouts are. So keep flexing that vulnerability.