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059 - Life Mastery Starts Within: Identity, Transformation & Living by Design with Mark Collins
14 Plays13 days ago
In this deeply moving and motivational episode of Vulnerability Muscle, host Reggie D. Ford sits down with transformational leader and founder of Freedom for Life, Mark Collins, to explore the power of vulnerability, identity, and intentional living. As the author of Life Mastery: Living by Design, Not by Default, Mark has guided hundreds through his signature framework to unleash their purpose, heal from limiting beliefs, and master the life they were truly created for.
- Together, Reggie and Mark dive into
- Why vulnerability is discomfort—and why that’s a good thing
- How your thoughts, words, and actions shape your reality
- The four pillars of Life Mastery: Identity, Experience, Meaning, and Emotion
- How to break free from performative success and imposter syndrome
- The “I Am” statement and celebration list that transform self-perception
- Mark’s personal story of grief, healing, and overcoming inner criticism
- How faith and inner work create sustainable, soul-aligned transformation
- Why living from identity—not for identity—is the key to fulfillment
This conversation is more than inspirational—it’s instructional. Whether you’re at a crossroads or already on your growth journey, Mark’s wisdom will help you reconnect with your true self, reframe past experiences, and master your life by design, not default.
Guest Contact Info
Email: mark@freedom-for-life.net
Website: https://freedom-for-life.net
Book: Life Mastery: Living by Design, Not by Default available on Amazon and his website
Course: Life Mastery suite available at freedom-for-life.net
Recommended
Transcript
Redefining Vulnerability: A Strength
00:00:00
Speaker
Fighting for the guy that was on the inside, the person that I believed I could be, that person of passion and character and worth and value, that person of you know integrity and life and and purposefulness, the guy I was on the inside I wanted to see on the outside.
00:00:15
Speaker
and But it was challenging. you wouldn't you know I would still deal with fear. I would still deal with things, you know hold back and try and control my outcomes because what if I fail at it? Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the inspiring podcast challenging norms and helping you redefine vulnerability as a strength.
00:00:32
Speaker
I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle dives into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts.
00:00:42
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We explore the power of vulnerability and fostering meaningful connections. healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth.
Introducing Mark Collins and His Philosophy
00:00:51
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Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but good workouts often are.
00:00:57
Speaker
So join us and flex that vulnerability muscle. Welcome to this episode of Vulnerability Muscle. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. And today with me, i have Mark Collins.
00:01:08
Speaker
Mark is the founder of Freedom for Life and the author of the transformational leadership book, Life Mastery, Living by Design, Not by Default. He has seen hundreds of lives transformed through his life mastery suite of courses and has a singular passion to see people unleashed as the hero they are created to be in their businesses, relationships and lives.
Understanding Discomfort and Growth
00:01:34
Speaker
Today is Mark Collins. Hello, Mark. How are you doing? Doing great, Reggie. Thanks for having me on for the conversation. Yes, I'm excited for this and absolutely love unlocking that hero that we have inside of us. And I think that that's something that I'm excited to talk about. But before we jump into that, have three questions for you and you let me know.
00:01:56
Speaker
It's called what comes to mind. And so the first thing that you can think of. What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability?
00:02:07
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Discomfort. Oh, okay. Well, I recognize that and I think that that is a common thing for people. If at any point in this conversation you feel that discomfort rising or you feel like you don't want to touch on certain things, you I hope you feel empowered and you definitely have the the right to say, absolutely not. We're not going there. We're stopping. We're doing anything. So you guide this, okay?
00:02:34
Speaker
that No problem. And actually, to be totally honest, discomfort isn't a bad thing. you know i've've I've worked out in my life, you know it doesn't look like it now, but when I was younger, I did it a lot. and And the interesting thing was, as as you probably already know, Reggie, the the level of stress you're willing to put your body through at at a reasonable level, the more you grow.
00:02:53
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and And I know I'm doing the right thing in my own life when I'm feeling that place of ah vulnerability, of discomfort, of I don't like this. It's in that place that I get to find out where I'm really at and where I need to be going.
00:03:07
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Oh, that's so good. i love that. And yes, is that there is there's a thing. there' is There's there stress. There's positive stress. And that positive stress that we put ourselves through, that we put our bodies through, our minds through, it does. It helps us
Identity and Stress Mastery
00:03:21
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grow.
00:03:21
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and helps us explore the bounds of our limitations, which as you keep stressing yourself, you realize that there really aren't any. And so I love that answer. Thank you.
00:03:32
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What do you do, Mark, to center yourself if you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed or maybe even depressed? For me, I have certain practices that I that i use, and and it's the same ones that I invite the people that i work with to do as well. So first and foremost, you know the foundation of our work is identity.
00:03:49
Speaker
And so the more I understand who I am, the less I worry about my circumstances and what's around me. the more I'm allowing my circumstances to dictate who I am and or what I'm able to do, then at that point, that's where stress comes in and challenge and all of that. So for me, centering is coming back to the truth and the understanding that I'm the answer walking into the circumstance, not the question to be figured out.
00:04:12
Speaker
I may not have the answer walking in, but I will when I need it. And so in that place, you know, even today, Got a couple of things that happened that I need to manage later on in my day that um I'm already finding solutions for, but it can easily lead to stress where you don't know what's going to happen or you can lead to confidence. And and that's not an easy journey.
00:04:31
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um But when you can get to that place, then all of a sudden, like the title of my book, you can master your life, not just manage it. Wow. Wow. That's powerful. I am the solution.
00:04:43
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of the circumstance that I'm walking into, not the question to be figured out. Oh man, that is so good. That's so good. Oh, last one here. what is your What is one of your favorite childhood memories?
00:04:59
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Yeah, that's a great
Mark's Journey: Military Life and Entrepreneurship
00:05:00
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question. my ah My family moved a lot, so there was a lot going on for us. My dad was in the military, so we were in lived in quite a few places. So what was a favorite childhood memory?
00:05:12
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um probably just time together and time like, you know, at the holidays and Christmas and what have you, you know, those times where you feel kind of connected and those things that, that really um bring joy to you.
00:05:25
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You know, when you're a kid, you're always looking forward to Christmas. You're looking forward to your birthday or whatever. So yeah, as a child, I think that was probably, it was those kinds of opportunities and activities that we had. and Yeah, definitely. That's, that's fine. I think always like,
00:05:41
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It's so much joy. Well, not for everyone. Joy around the holidays, I can say for me, and um just being connected to family. My favorite holiday growing up, and probably still today, is Thanksgiving.
00:05:55
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I felt like it was about all the right stuff. It didn't come with ah materialistic things. It was until the Black Friday events got pushed up further and further. And but it was just it was family. It was food. It was some football. It was fun. And so I really enjoy that. That's great.
00:06:15
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ah Tell me a little bit more about about the family growing up. So you said you were part of military family. Where all did you live? Yeah, my my dad was in the Air Force. And so I tell people I lived in five states in one foreign country by the time I was in the sixth grade, which for me was 12 years old.
00:06:32
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So all all throughout the Western US and then Germany was the foreign country that we lived in for a period of time. So yeah, I grew up all all over the place. So got really used to moving, got really used to leaving relationships behind, but also got really used to figuring out new cultures and and and the things that made people tick in the areas that they lived, the foods that they had, the activities and all of that. So that actually carried on into my adulthood. So, yeah, my dad was in the military and then he finally retired. And then it was my turn to move around and kind of figure out my own way in life. came to My dad retired in Utah.
00:07:06
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It was the last place he was stationed. And then I moved to California myself to to find my own way. to really become my own person and kind of make my own way in life. And I tell people I came to California to become a rock star, um which of course is everybody's story actor or rock star, but it really wasn't going towards something. It was going away from something. I was in college, didn't like the end of that road and didn't feel like it was something that was for me at the time. So I moved to California to really find a different way and get away from the life I didn't want to live, you know, being
00:07:39
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and at that point, you know, stuck in a job and doing something that maybe, you know, wasn't at the level that I wanted. So I was always kind of an entrepreneur at heart. So came to California to do that.
00:07:50
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Lucky for me, I met my wife here. We've been married 33 years, developed career, developed ministry, developed a business and a passion and um started creating the things that you we'll probably talk about later in life mastery, not just the book, but the course that I've invested in so many people.
00:08:07
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Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious when that mindset, when you knew that you didn't want to live the life of the job, the everyday, mundane, or however you want to describe that, when did you realize that you didn't want that life?
00:08:24
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when I had my first job. I remember for me, I didn't start working till after high school, but and after high school, I worked a lot, had three part-time jobs while still going to college. And if early on in my college career, and I remember being at my first job early on and thinking, why am I doing this? Why am I taking orders from somebody else? It was wasn't that I despised the job or the hard work. It was I don't know, it was there's just sense that there was something more for me than that. And it doesn't, you know, i admire people who stay in a vocation, a job their whole career. and And that wasn't something that really drove me, but I admire people who do. But for me, it was just this understanding of there's more than
00:09:04
Speaker
investing in somebody else's dream, you know building somebody else's business, you know investing in those things with my life for what other people have decided is you know the dream, the vision, the goal, the product, the service, whatever it is. So it was early on and it was probably, you know like again, moving around to a lot of places, um you know there's couple of things that happened. One was I got to be really introverted because you're always, I'm sure you you've been there, Reggie, or maybe not, but for me, you're always the odd man out. You're the you're the new kid in the area and that will happen a lot. So it was something where you kind of pull back and you're more introverted. and
00:09:38
Speaker
But in the other sense, it was a level of independence of because we moved to so many different places and because we had to not really restart, but kind of restart relationships and community and all of that, that, and, you know, because of my dad's personality, we,
00:09:53
Speaker
all grew up, my sisters and myself, pretty independent. So I think the independence itself, the willingness to believe that there was more than the life I was living and the adventure of willing being willing to go after it um led to those things. And all of that was probably a portion of my childhood and the experiences I've had and the growth I had in that and growing up.
00:10:14
Speaker
Wow. Wow. Yes. Oh man. I, I can, I can totally resonate with so much of what you just said, because, ah early in my, in the jobs that I worked, I, it was just this, this sense of, I need to, for me, for my personality, for my desires, for my passion and drive need to be doing something different.
00:10:35
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And it doesn't look like the same thing every day. It doesn't look like the same company every day. It looks like something creative. It looks like something that um I have a hand in the direction of. And so the entrepreneurial bug bit me very early and it stuck around.
00:10:55
Speaker
I'm curious because I think for when I look back in my life, Um, I, I think part of not wanting to work a job was not wanting to be told what to do. And then you said something really good, not wanting to invest in somebody else's dream and, and seeing their future grow while you're capped.
00:11:14
Speaker
And so that was a big part for me. Was there, was, do you think there was any role of, i and I, and I don't want to, um, have this be a loaded question, but with your dad being in the military, was there a sense of like, don't tell me what to do because of that?
00:11:31
Speaker
Or am I, am I just, yeah. No, I think that's an interesting question. And for sure that, that phrase resonates with me as well in, in wanting to not be told what to do.
00:11:43
Speaker
Um, it and I, it wasn't, Just because my dad was in the military, but really his personality. I tell people ah that my dad wasn't a drill instructor, but he would have made a great one. And I'm not sure if you've seen any movies where there were drill instructors, the guys that get the men and women ready for, you know, their role in the military or combat or whatever.
00:12:03
Speaker
You know, they're usually those guys that are intimidating and loud and, you know, very forceful in their personality. and that was definitely my dad. And, and growing up, part of my life mastery journey was,
00:12:15
Speaker
really wanting to believe I was more than the guy who was showing up. But a lot of that came from an insecurity in feeling like I had a father I never measured up to. And so there was this paradox of the two, right? Where it's, he's always telling me what to do and what I do is not good enough. And in that place was a bit of a rebellion against that and believing that, you know, I was more than that and trying to measure up to it. So part of that was the, I want to have my own path, but part of it was um not being under somebody else's instruction. I'll just put it that way all of the time and and not having to measure up to what they believe good is.
00:12:49
Speaker
And it doesn't mean you don't have standards in your life. And there's people that really draw things out of you that maybe you didn't have. I think there's value in that. But as a young man, feeling like you couldn't measure up to your father um was something that was a challenge that I really spent time having to overcome. and And business was one of those areas.
00:13:05
Speaker
yeah was trying to i I tell the people I work with, fear of failure, imposter syndrome, or some of the things that where you could put titles on what I was dealing with. And what I tell people is you can't succeed away your fear.
00:13:17
Speaker
And you can't succeed away your imposter syndrome because they come along for the ride.
Success, Fear, and Inner Work
00:13:21
Speaker
and And so for me, business was the outworking of I believe there's something that I'm meant to do in impact I'm supposed to have.
00:13:28
Speaker
But part of it was I don't want to have somebody else tell me how to live my life, what the highest level is I can achieve, what the thing is that I can do. Yes. Can you elaborate on the statements? You can't succeed you're out out out of your fear. You can't succeed out of that imposter syndrome. Can you elaborate on that?
00:13:48
Speaker
Yeah. Well, here's the truth of the matter. and And you probably know it from people you've talked to and worked with, and I certainly have as well. But it started with my own journey and in believing what the world says, which is, well, just through social media and all these things that you're seeing, you're seeing there the beautiful people with the beautiful things and the beautiful positions, power, income, or whatever, and you think that, oh, they've got it all together. And if I get there, if I have that success, well, then all of this fear, all of this worry, all of this stress, all of this anxiety, feeling like I'm not good enough will now go away.
00:14:20
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And what I found in the ah was that the opposite was the case. When I succeeded in business or in academics or in athletics, it not only didn't go away, but now there was a higher level of pressure, right?
00:14:32
Speaker
Because, you know, there's this old saying, new levels, new devils. There's the reach new levels, you have more to lose. And so while you're worried about it, when you're starting off your business or your academic career or your relationship, when you get to that place of success, now you have to maintain it and do more first off to continue to Feed that fear so that you don't feel like you're a person who doesn't measure up, but also because you've got more to lose. and So there's that higher level of anxiety.
00:14:59
Speaker
If you don't, as I tell the people, you're either living from who you're created to be or what your life has told you. I've given you a little bit of my past and what my life has told me did tell me that I actually believed. Well, in that place of your life telling you something, you use those things, outward accomplishments to substitute for an inward work.
00:15:18
Speaker
And in that place, it never goes away. You're just trying to manage it. I call it the hamster wheel of success. You're successful at whatever you do. You reach that goal, that mark that you had and the joy from it lasts about 10 seconds. And then it's okay. Now what?
00:15:32
Speaker
Because you're not feeling any better. And so the next one will make me feel complete, feel accomplished, or the next one after that, or the one after that. If you aren't working on the inward part, working on identity and who you're created to be,
00:15:46
Speaker
Then all these substitutes come along, but none of them will get you to the place of where you really want to be, feeling confident and passionate and purposeful in who you are. That's so powerful, Mark. That's so powerful. I resonate with that a lot. And um my my TEDx was was on you know a very similar topic of that, of how I was chasing external validation and success success in the traditional sense of the word.
00:16:13
Speaker
And like you said, it lasts for about 10 minutes. That hit of dopamine, when you get the the pat on the back, it feels good for a little bit, but it is not fulfilling. It doesn't completely take away the pain, take away the the fear, the scary. It doesn't take that away.
00:16:30
Speaker
And it lives with you until you go inward and start to work on the things that you need to work on. And it's different for everybody. And, and you've, you've done that and, and you've helped other people do that.
00:16:44
Speaker
Can you tell us what led to the creation of, of life mastery of the the work that you do?
Creating 'Life Mastery' and Unleashing Potential
00:16:50
Speaker
Yeah, i appreciate that. So for me, of course, it was my own journey.
00:16:55
Speaker
And I say, of course, but a lot of people think that, you know, we have, you know, yourself or whoever else is somebody at successful levels. You think that they had it for everybody else. It was my idea for your benefit.
00:17:06
Speaker
and But for me, it wasn't any of that. It was really me walking through that journey of really starting to unpack. some of those issues and challenges in my life, the feelings of failure, the feelings of not measuring up and, and really fighting for the guy that was on the inside, the person that I believed I could be that person of passion and character and worth and value that person of, you know, integrity and life and and purposefulness The guy I was on the inside, I wanted to see on the outside.
00:17:33
Speaker
and But it was challenging. you wouldn't you know I would still deal with fear. I would still deal with things, you know hold back and try and control my outcomes because what if I fail at it? What did that look like when you when you were holding back? did you Did you know it at the time when you were aware or was there particular patterns that you found yourself in?
00:17:54
Speaker
oh yeah. I think we all do. We all know when we're playing small in our life. We can justify it. We can explain it away. We can you know act that, oh, you know this is wisdom or you know i don't i don't want to leap out too far because this might happen or that might happen. right But we all know when we're playing small. And I certainly did in my own life from that time where I wanted that big dream, that big goal. I wanted to go for that big thing. But You know, what if it doesn't work out? And so in that place, you you start to pare back your dreams. You start to water down your vision and and the version of life that you're created for.
00:18:27
Speaker
And the problem with that is that you know there's more than that. And so it's it's a double-edged sword. and don't reach for the big goals. and And there's a bit of comfort in that because I can control my outcome a little bit.
00:18:38
Speaker
But in that place, the disappointment, the shame, the worry, the sadness that, you know, I could have, but I didn't. is is something that you're having to deal with as well. So, yeah. so all of that, and then just trying to figure it out in my own life, really starting to unpack identity. And so again, that man on the inside showing up on the outside. And as I started to unpack some of those things, I started to make some transformational um strategies in place for mastering my thoughts and words and actions.
00:19:07
Speaker
I started to see me actually show up. It didn't mean that life wasn't challenging, right? Just because you kind of figure you out doesn't mean life doesn't come at you as well. But the difference was the response.
00:19:19
Speaker
The difference was the fear that wasn't there, the worry and anxiety that didn't show up. The difference was the confidence of me in me, in those places, in business and academics and athletics and the things that I was doing.
00:19:31
Speaker
And so in seeing that, you know, like I'm sure with you, Reggie, when you find something you think is amazing, you share it with people around you, people you love and care about. And I started to, when you can see in others what you've seen in yourself, I could see those kind of same attributes in other people and What I tell people is I found out it wasn't a me issue, but a we issue.
00:19:51
Speaker
It wasn't about me and and the things that I could or couldn't do. It was the same journey I met a lot of people who who dealt with, whether they were trying to achieve academically or athletically or as an entrepreneur or business person, or they're just somebody living their day-to-day life, or they're having relationship issues and challenges.
00:20:09
Speaker
It's in that place that you start to see that the the holes that are there, the things that you're using to overcome your insecurity, or at least for a moment. And so I started to share it in small ways with conversations and ideas and thoughts for them to maybe try out and try to formalize it in talks and conversations and little teachings and weekend sessions and webinars.
00:20:31
Speaker
And then decided to formalize it so I could really, what I wanted to do was give them the blueprint that I had. So you can go from wherever you're at to the place of freedom, that place of life mastery, which for me and the people I work with is simply this. Life mastery is you living from who you're created to be.
00:20:47
Speaker
at the highest level you're created for in every area of life. It's not me putting on an imitation of somebody else, not me mirroring what somebody of success has done. Because when I try and imitate somebody else, the best you can ever do is second place.
00:21:00
Speaker
And so it's not trying to find a way to convince yourself that you can be as good as somebody else, but really start to unpack the value and the worth inside of you and saying, okay, well, now that I know who I am,
00:21:11
Speaker
What's the highest level? What's the biggest dream? What's the most audacious goal I can have that I can use in my life? Because it's in those places that fulfillment happens. Success can happen just from working hard.
00:21:22
Speaker
But fulfillment to me is you living out the life you're absolutely created for knowing it. That's what fulfillment is. And that's kind of the goal we have. Wow. Wow. Wow. So powerful. So powerful.
00:21:35
Speaker
you You said the blueprint that you had and that's what you're offering to other people. Where did pieces of that blueprint come from? What were your inspirations during that time when you were understanding and unpacking yourself? What what did you lean on? What books? What you know videos? what What did you lean on?
00:21:54
Speaker
Early on, it was anything I could get my hands on. Whatever personal development, self-development kind of materials, whether it was a book, a course, anything free or anything I could afford to pay for.
00:22:05
Speaker
It was really a lot of those. And that's where that for I'll say change happened, but it wasn't really the transformation I was looking for. Because a lot of the cases are dealing with the fruit, not the root. you know like um Emotional stability, emotional management, right emotional intuitiveness or whatever the things are they're working on.
00:22:24
Speaker
building habits that are continuing to, you have to continue to do those habits in order to have those results. When you're dealing with change, that builds a habit. If I stop the habit, then I stop the change.
00:22:34
Speaker
yeah the thing that I was desiring and believing for was a transformation, not me having to work myself up and work really hard and be exhausted for the rest of my life. Because if I ever stop this, I lose the confidence. I lose the assurance, and right? If I ever stop saying my mantras, the thoughts, then the negativity are going to come in.
00:22:52
Speaker
But in that place, what I was looking for was transformation. So I went through a lot of personal development courses and their value in them. And, you know, the the scientific kind of analysis kind of things where you're dealing with neuroplasticity and the changes in the brain and all that. But,
00:23:05
Speaker
Really, the breakthrough came from me in in a faith journey. I'm um' a person who's a man of faith. And it was in that place and seeing and in what I consider the word of God, instructions to live out and not just philosophies that are nice or bumper stickers you want to put on your car.
00:23:19
Speaker
But how do I live this out? there's this If there's a word that says, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. In there is an innate understanding that, okay, so if I'm not where I want to be, it starts with my thoughts.
00:23:32
Speaker
And so the thing that I need to master to get where I want to be, first off, is changing my thoughts to align with the future that I believe I have, not reminding me of the past that I've lived through. And so, yeah, so those were, you know, in in ah in that faith journey and being able to find that framework for myself, I was able to kind of create, um like I said, that blueprint, that roadmap of A to Z, always starting with identity and some of the other things we can talk about. But you give a framework so you weren't just giving nice ideas for somebody else to figure out.
00:24:02
Speaker
you know, cool little sayings that now they've got to try and unpack. Okay, well, what does that mean? And how do I apply that? You know, I'm a guy that wants it simple and straightforward. And so I tried to create something that was allowing that for other people. So you're not having to guess or figure it out, but you can actually apply the things and in application, you find transformation.
00:24:20
Speaker
I love that. I love that. And you said a lot of those things are dealing with the fruit and not the root. and And the fruit being, ah I how i perceive how i and and interpreted that is is kind of how you know our medical,
00:24:36
Speaker
culture will treat symptoms and not the root cause of whatever the underlying condition is and um we do that with a lot of different things it's not just in medicine but it's in it's in a lot of different things especially in uh our our identity and our purpose and our true fulfillment it's It's here is a mantra. Here is a tip and tool that you can do once a day, every day, and this will change your life.
00:25:03
Speaker
and And what you're saying is, is or what I'm hearing you say is that that's not where the true transformation comes from. It's so a place that is much deeper than that. And for you, you found that through faith.
00:25:14
Speaker
and And you've said the word identity multiple times, and it sounds like that is the beginning, the pill the first pillar of the the blueprint, the framework.
Pillars of Life Mastery: Identity to Emotion
00:25:24
Speaker
Can you speak to that in the role of of transformation? And then what are the other steps to the the framework?
00:25:32
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. And ah I like that you call it a pillar because we i have four pillars of life mastery. The first one is identity. the foundation Identity is the foundation of everything. Because the challenge is, it's it's like you talked about and I was talking about as well. What's a fruit versus a root issue?
00:25:48
Speaker
So I'm in a relationship and we're arguing all the time or we're disagreeing or we're not getting along. Well, the fruit type of philosophy is, okay, well, you need to figure out ways to communicate with each other.
00:25:59
Speaker
so that you can express your ideas, she can express her ideas, you can do it in a safe place where you're heard, you're seen, and so she. And in that place, you can find a resolution for your issue. which which is a fruit issue.
00:26:11
Speaker
The fruit issue is you and I aren't getting along, so we're going to build in structures for the conversation so we can make it happen. What you're not dealing with is the root, which is this. You're not dealing with what she said triggered an insecurity on the inside of you, triggered something like with me as a child where I wasn't feeling like I was good enough.
00:26:29
Speaker
And then I'm in a relationship and my wife um tells me I'm not doing something right or criticizes something I've, whatever, something I did or didn't do. And in that place, this emotion comes up and in that emotion creates a response. And the response is me lashing out, me being angry, me sulking and being silent and not talking to you, whatever those things are.
00:26:48
Speaker
So when you layer on top of that, these tools, these habits of, oh, well, what you really need to do is take a breath and express how you feel and not blame her for it, but let her know the emotions that it's caused.
00:27:00
Speaker
You continue to have to do that. I continue to have to have habits that I have to maintain. If I don't maintain them, I don't continue to live at that level of what I call life management. Most programs in most places are really life management, not life mastery. I think life mastery is the actual key.
00:27:16
Speaker
And the key is now start to understand, unpack it a little bit more, going back to what's the thing you're taking from it? What's the meaning you're taking from the experience? Because that meaning is tied to an identity statement.
00:27:30
Speaker
Meaning this, it's not that we had disagreements that you didn't like something I did. It's what that says about me. It's not that your childhood was traumatic and the challenges you walk through. Everybody has experiences, good and bad and horrible and amazing.
00:27:45
Speaker
And in that place, it's not the experience you walk through. I don't minimize the impact it's had on you, but it's the identity statement that you've taken from it. me having a father growing up who seemed to criticize, seemed to always find a better way, seemed to always question why i did things this way.
00:28:01
Speaker
It wasn't that he was telling me a better way of doing things. It was an identity statement that says, you're not good enough. You're not smart enough. You're not capable enough. And in that place, it's the identity statement that changes the rest of your life. Because when you grow up and when you have bad grades, now all of a sudden it's that proof of it was right.
00:28:19
Speaker
You subconsciously believe it, you don't consciously know it, but you react to it anyways. And so you avoid those classes. Instead of taking the yeah advanced courses, you take the minimal course because I know I can pass that. I know can it get at least a C or in that relationship, you don't go for those that amazing journey with the person you love.
00:28:38
Speaker
You go with the person that validates you where you're at. And then you wonder why your relationship isn't working out. So it all starts with identity, who you're created to be versus what your life has told you.
00:28:49
Speaker
Apart from a transformational journey, I've never met a person yet, Reggie, who isn't living from what their life has told them, whether they're amazingly successful or not at all. And so for us, it all starts with identity. Who were you created to be?
00:29:02
Speaker
Because when you can start to unpack that, I believe there's an impact in the world that has every person's name on it. And it's not the same. You don't have to imitate somebody else. You don't have to have all their success, but there's something, there's a reason why you exist.
00:29:14
Speaker
And there's a reason why the world's different because of it. When you can start to unpack that value, that understanding of who you are, now all of a sudden we can have a disagreement and it's just a disagreement, a thing that we need to walk through.
00:29:27
Speaker
I can have success or failure and success doesn't tell me I'm amazing and failure doesn't tell me I'm horrible. But both of them are just part of the journey that I'm walking through. So for us, it's unpacking identity. And you know one of the ways we do it is to create an I am statement. its We do it early on in the in the course. And I write about it in my book as well.
00:29:46
Speaker
It's a statement of who you're created to be. It's taking your experiences and setting them aside, your past and your pain and all of that. It's taking your successes and setting them aside. Because a lot of times we think we understand our identity, but we really only understand our resume.
00:30:00
Speaker
If I ask you who you are, it's probably going to be the things you've accomplished that you tell me first, not your character traits. But it's the character traits that are the difference. It's a secret sauce of your life that matters in your relationship, that matters in your job or business, that matters in your schooling, that matters in your family.
00:30:17
Speaker
And so when we work, the work we start with is an I am statement. The statement is this, who are you created to be? I give you the first two words, you fill out the rest. The first two words are i am. And then you write that down. If you're a person of faith, I invite you to pray about it first.
00:30:32
Speaker
If you're not, I believe that everybody knows that there's something on the inside of them. There's the you that you desire to be. And there's the you that shows up that you, that you desire to be is probably closer to who you're created to be many times than the guy or the woman that shows up.
00:30:46
Speaker
But when you write that down, you do a couple of things. You reaffirm who you believe you are and you give yourself a reminder that you can the to remind yourself of who you are before you walk in your circumstance while you're going through challenge or when you're not feeling your best.
00:31:00
Speaker
So it's it's a mantra, it's an affirmation, but it's not some generic thing that I'm trying to measure up to that I don't believe anyway, but it's a reaffirmation of, no, this is who I am. I may have not shown up. I may have blown it today. I may have gotten in an argument and that I shouldn't have, but this is the man I'm created to be.
00:31:17
Speaker
And when you continue to remind yourself of that, lo and behold, that man, that woman starts to show up. Mm hmm. It's it's so true. And I wish I had my my wallet with me, but I have a little index card or kind of it's like the size of a business card.
00:31:34
Speaker
And i did that exercise um over 10 years ago, over 10 years ago. And a big part of it was i didn't because I had achieved and I had done and I had roles and I didn't want the roles to be on there. I didn't I didn't care about the roles. I wanted the the the essence of my spirit to be expressed in that. And so there are things that were on there were that I knew were my abundant birthright.
00:32:03
Speaker
and the the feelings that i exude and feel um of joy of of peace of love and and so many of those things and i i wrote those and i read those every day ah multiple times a day and it's it helps it helped me to re Why are the way that my life operated?
00:32:29
Speaker
Because, you know, one of it was one of them was about making healthy choices. And so when I went to grab the biggest burger, the biggest, juiciest burger that, you know, it tastes good, but it's not a healthy choice. And I know who I am and I know what I deserve. And I know, though, though, it tastes good.
00:32:48
Speaker
It is not good for me. And it's it's harming me. And I love me. I love me, and so when I bite that, I'm showing myself disrespect and not the level of love that I truly want to give myself.
00:32:59
Speaker
And I mean, for for years, read that morning, night, and and maybe a couple times in the middle of the day. And I started to see things change and and work in the way of what I had written.
00:33:12
Speaker
And so I think that's such a powerful exercise for people to to really, truly, not just affirmations and IMs of things that you even, like when you write them and you say them subconsciously, you still don't believe. It's not that. It's something that you know deep in your core that is you.
00:33:29
Speaker
and And I love it. I love that so much. So identity, that' that's a ah huge and strong, like we're going to stand on that. that's That's such a strong pillar. ah What about the the rest of the framework? Can you walk me through that in as much or as little details you want?
Aligning Actions with True Self
00:33:45
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. But if I could add to what you were saying, because you were very powerful in how you explained it for your own life. What I tell the people is you either living from who you're created to be or what your life has told you. And the challenge is that when I don't know who I am, my life has to make up the difference.
00:33:59
Speaker
And so for anybody who's listening, if you're wondering why you start that program, you do that diet, you go for that, you know, that college degree or that job or that business or whatever,
00:34:11
Speaker
And then you find yourself shrinking back. It's because of the opposite of what you explained, because if you're not living from who you're created to be, then your life has to make up the difference in that, which means this. I'm having to have my life measure up to what I want it to be.
00:34:24
Speaker
And it's like this. I'm either doing this because it's who I am or to prove who I am. What you were talking about it with your affirmation is when I understand who I am, the choices I'm making, the things I'm doing, whether it's exercise or it's, you know, educating myself or it's reaching for a business or, you know, exploring a new job or what have you, I'm doing it because I know who where I'm created to be. And this is me naturally living it out.
00:34:47
Speaker
What I tell people with life mastery is it's the easiest thing possible. When you know who you are, it's easy to make decisions. It's easy to take direction. It's easy to find those things and do hard things because you know that you being lived out.
00:34:59
Speaker
The opposite is how we mostly do it. I'm going to prove that I'm somebody of worth by losing 100 pounds, by starting a business and becoming a millionaire, by having the most amazing relationship or that awesome car in my driveway. Right.
00:35:13
Speaker
And it's in those places where if anybody listening is finding that those things aren't fulfilling and those things that they have mean nothing to them. It's because it's a proof of meaning I need this to show I matter. I need this to show I have value.
00:35:28
Speaker
I need this to show I'm somebody. And it never works. But when you're living from who you are all of a sudden you still have a lot of the successes and and the things that, you know, the attributes that everybody else has.
00:35:39
Speaker
The difference between them is it's an outworking of who you are. And so there's great joy and satisfaction and fulfillment in them. They're not that substitute that you need to have more of. yeah so So I love what you said there so because everything starts with that.
00:35:52
Speaker
If you don't start with that, then your outside world has to make up the difference and you need more and you need to have more and and then you get a divorce and then you have a third marriage and you have a fifth one or you have a million and then you have a hundred million and it's still not worth it. You're still as miserable as somebody who's got nothing.
00:36:08
Speaker
Or you find that level of success and for some reason, it never seems to continue to work out. You always find ways of... sabotaging yourself or making it fall short. It's because you truly don't believe that. And as a substitute, you can only do it for so long before you just give up and say, forget it.
00:36:24
Speaker
yeah so So that's the the identity piece. and And so we have four pillars of life mastery. But if I could backtrack for a quick second, yeah the thing that we apply to all of it is our three-step transformational strategy of mastering your thoughts, words, and actions.
00:36:36
Speaker
yes The thought one starts with that identity statement you're talking about, and then it uses it to apply to your thoughts. Because the truth, like you already know, Reggie, is you can't have two thoughts at one time. And you i can actually choose the thoughts that you have.
00:36:50
Speaker
which by the way, was where my title of my book came from, Life Mastery, Living Life by Design, Not by Default. he Most of the time we live by default. We don't realize that we can design our thoughts. We can actually have the thoughts we think.
00:37:02
Speaker
We can actually entertain the ones that we want. We just take the negative thoughts that come in and we try to bludgeon them to death with our affirmation, with our favorite scripture, with those words that we believe you know don't believe but hope for until it quiets down. That's life by...
00:37:17
Speaker
Default. Life by design is understanding that you can actually choose your thoughts. You can actually remind yourself, just like you said, in which I've done the same thing in my life. When you repetitively tell yourself who you are, you start to see that man or woman show up.
00:37:29
Speaker
Yeah. So it starts with transformation, mastering your thoughts, words, and actions. It's understanding your identity, I am statement and a couple others that we use as well. And that's applying them to your experiences.
00:37:41
Speaker
So it's reminding me of who I am before I walk into the journey of my day so that that guy shows up. It's not me responding to the life that happens and then trying to remember, oh yeah, what is it I'm supposed to be doing or saying? So when you start your day with it, you actually show up with it during your day.
00:37:56
Speaker
But it's also unpacking your past experiences. So what I mean is some of the things I talked about, and I'm sure you've got those in your journey as well, those life experiences that have hurt you, that have damaged you.
Healing Past Wounds for Personal Growth
00:38:07
Speaker
One of the biggest ones for me and in my my spiritual walk was um my daughter. My youngest daughter 26. When she was two years before she was born, my wife and I were we expecting twins and we lost them.
00:38:20
Speaker
And there was some things that happened spiritually in that that journey and in trying to feel like I'm not good enough. I don't get the same blessings that everybody else has. And in walking those things out and trying to walk in that journey, that left a mark on me, it left an identity statement.
00:38:36
Speaker
And in in that place, it has an impact in your life. How much are you willing to go? How much are you willing to love? How much are you willing to be vulnerable? Because I got hurt last time and hurt really bad and I don't even want to deal with it anymore.
00:38:51
Speaker
Two years, one year, yeah one and a half years after we lost our twins, my wife wanted, she was pressing me to to have a baby. She wanted to have another child and I didn't want to do it.
00:39:02
Speaker
and And I may have won out, but i didn't in this case, which is why we have our youngest daughter. But the reason I didn't want to do it was because that was a place of vulnerability and belief and hope that I didn't want to give myself to because it had left me hurt and damaged before.
00:39:18
Speaker
Everybody has these experiences that we've walked through. And as I talked about before, the challenge isn't the experience, it's the meaning you take from it. And that meaning isn't, it was good, it was bad, it was horrible, it was amazing.
00:39:30
Speaker
The meaning is, I'm not good enough. I don't get those things. I'm not worth loving. I can't have great things in my life. I can't have the life I believe I can. And in that identity statement, you make choices and decisions and actions to live it out.
00:39:45
Speaker
And so part of the work we do is dealing with experiences. you showing up as a person you're created to be, but you understanding, we talked about it with that relational thing. We're fighting now because of an insecurity then. Well, that insecurity came from an identity statement, which came from ah hurt, a wound, an issue, an experience.
00:40:03
Speaker
When you start to unpack that experience and you start to create a new meaning, and the new meaning is aligned with your identity, So for me, you know growing up and feeling like I didn't measure up, the truth of the matter is I could never measure up to who my dad was because I wasn't supposed to.
00:40:19
Speaker
When you can unpack those things, when you can overcome a lie with the truth of who you are, now of a sudden it loses a hold on you. So now I'm a person of boldness. Now I'm a person of confidence. Now I'm a person who's willing to fail at things because it's not something telling me who I am.
00:40:34
Speaker
It's just a part of the journey towards the success I'm believing for. So identity is the first pillar. Experiences is the second one. Meaning is the third one. What's the meaning you're taking from your experiences?
00:40:46
Speaker
The meaning you're taking from your experience today, my wife and I got in a fight last night. are we goingnna Are we going to have a divorce? Is this not going to work out? The meaning you take today isn't something that's new. It's just a reaffirmation of what you are to believe.
00:40:59
Speaker
yeah And so when you unpack that meaning, attach it to an experience to speak the truth into that experience, understanding who your identity is, Now of a sudden it changes everything. Now I can walk through my life with the truth and objectivity of what it is, not expecting it to not work out because it didn't work out last time.
00:41:17
Speaker
Now I can be bold and courageous in my life, show up like you talked about in my bio as the hero that you're created to be. That's the person you're looking to be. And that person can't show up if I'm bound to what my past has told me I am. But when I understand the truth of who I am, now I can live it out.
00:41:33
Speaker
And then the fourth pillar we have is emotions. And I use it last because most programs use it first. Meaning this, we say that the emotion is the thing that we're dealing with, right? It's that fruit versus root.
00:41:44
Speaker
But here's the truth. When I understand my identity, It allows me to not just walk through my experiences fully showing up as who I am, but being healed from the past, which is lied to me about what I was not.
00:41:57
Speaker
It creates a meaning that aligns with my identity. So I understand who I am walking into it. The answer to be given, not the question to be figured out. And in that place, even in stressful, challenging situations, they're still stressful. They're still challenging.
00:42:11
Speaker
My emotions align with who I am, not with the worst case that I'm afraid is going to happen. A lot of times people deal with the emotion, but they always have to re-deal with the emotion because when stress happens, anxiety shows up.
00:42:24
Speaker
I fight it off with my mantra and then it goes away. And then next time stress happens, anxiety shows up. But when I understand who I am, now all of a sudden the emotions that show up are the ones aligned with my identity.
00:42:36
Speaker
ah Emotions of confidence, emotions of assurance, emotions of peace, emotions of joy, emotions of being willing to do the vulnerable things, the hard things, the authentic things, because that's who you are.
00:42:48
Speaker
So those are the four pillars, identity, experience, meaning, and emotion. Wow. wow i I feel so lucky um sitting in this seat. as as I have so many great conversations, and a lot of times I feel like they're meant directly for me. like It's just things that i I need to hear, and I'm so grateful that the world gets to hear it as well.
00:43:12
Speaker
um But you youve you said so many amazing things. And and one thing that that stuck out to me, because I told you before we hopped on the call, lost my voice this past weekend at a retreat.
00:43:23
Speaker
And the retreat was an inner child retreat, um healing my inner child, healing some of those those inner, going inward and looking at those experiences. And and And understanding some of those ah statements that I had been living for so long. And couple of those were, I am not lovable. I am abandoned. i ah can't honestly express my feelings. i I have to perform.
00:43:52
Speaker
a lot of those things um that came from ah a background of um performative love and not unconditional love of um seeing people walk away that I wanted to love me. And so uncovering a lot of those things.
00:44:08
Speaker
But one of the the wildest things was um We did this breathwork exercise and I had this shirt on and the shirt said, kind thoughts, kind words, kind actions.
00:44:20
Speaker
And in that I, in the breathwork, I had this experience where I just like ripped my shirt and just like ripped it all the way. Not because of the message, not because of anything, but like just hearing you talk about the word, the the thoughts, the words and the actions and connecting it back to that shirt. And just knowing that like I was,
00:44:40
Speaker
I was in such a vulnerable state in that moment, and but ah vulnerable in a positive way because I was healing, was healing through that experience. And, you know, the identity, the experience, the meaning, just so much power in what you just spoke. And I'm so grateful.
00:44:57
Speaker
ah Again, I'm so grateful to be in this seat, to be able to receive that message. And i thank you. I thank you so much for sharing that. Absolutely. i think the best conversations have two people involved. So what I say is really in response to what you're giving. So I appreciate the opportunity.
00:45:15
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. um i'm I'm curious for for someone who is out there and looking for an action step to to start to get toward that identity, to start to to to to get the distractions out of their head and the things that the world told them they ought to be.
00:45:34
Speaker
like How can they start to hear themselves? How can they start to connect with their true self? um Maybe a couple of things or maybe one thing to to bring some of that awareness to somebody who is hearing this for the first time.
00:45:47
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. i appreciate that, Reggie. So for the people I work with, if it all starts with the I am statement. That's where our identity starts. The challenge is a lot of times we are so tied to our past and our experiences or what the world says success is supposed to look like and who we're supposed to be that it's hard to open up to a voice that's different.
00:46:05
Speaker
And so we actually have three exercises. The first is the I am statement, but the second one is what I call a celebration list. And what I invite them to do is write down a celebration list of 20 things. And what it is not is a celebration of the things you've done, your accomplishments, your resume, your trophies, all of that. It's none of that at all.
00:46:24
Speaker
The celebration list is really the answer to this question. What do you love about you? and And again, it's not your your outcomes. It's not the things that you've accomplished. The things that we want you to write down are things you see in yourself that you love. So for me, I have blue eyes and I love that.
00:46:42
Speaker
I'm six foot three, which means I was three inches ah taller than my father. And I absolutely love that. i I laugh at goofy humor and I love chocolate and I love dogs. As you probably could tell as the dog was walking in the background. Yeah.
00:46:56
Speaker
Those are things I love about me. It's not things I've had to work up to. It's not accomplishments I've had. It's not even tied to my past. It's simply characteristics of who I am. So for the people that are listening to this, an I am statement is absolutely paramount. And the celebration list doesn't make up for it.
00:47:10
Speaker
But many times the celebration list will open it. Because in that place, you can start to see there's value in me. i'm I'm not sure if it's, you know, men only or men and women as well. But many times for men, if I tell you to tell me something about yourself, to look in the mirror and describe yourself, you'll probably first see the things that you're not.
00:47:29
Speaker
The things that you don't like, the things that somebody's better at, the things that, you know, all of those kind of attributes. many times we don't give ourselves permission to find things about ourselves that we love. But it's in that place that you can have that vulnerability that you've talked about, that i can be I can only be as vulnerable as I can love myself.
00:47:47
Speaker
yeah If I can't love myself, then I can't let anybody else in far enough to see the real me. And in that place, I can't be the real me that is needed. And so when you start to understand who you are, when you start to love who you are, you can start to see the things in you that have value and worth. And in that place, even when things don't work out well, you're good with who you are.
00:48:08
Speaker
So the celebration list would be one of those. And i don't want to understate how important it is to master your thoughts. Nothing happens in your life that wasn't first a thought in your head.
00:48:19
Speaker
But I tell the people I work with is who you think you are, you'll become. And so if you don't believe you are where you're supposed to be, where you haven't reached that level of life mastery that you desire for, it's probably first started with your thoughts.
00:48:32
Speaker
And it's a journey that takes practice. Like you talked about doing it for years and myself included. It's not something that you need to do forever because I'm sure you're in this place, Reggie, and I am as well, where It's much easier for me to show up as who I am, not to convince myself of who I'm supposed to be.
00:48:48
Speaker
yeah But in that place, sometimes we do need reminders. But all of it comes down to what are you saying about you? As I tell the people I work with as well, if your thoughts aren't aligned with who you're created to be, then they're lying to you and they need to change. And so how do you change them? Not with generic affirmations or hopeful statements that you're hoping to become someday.
00:49:06
Speaker
but unpacking who you are and reminding yourself of it on a daily basis. The I i am statement, a celebration list, and using a practice of reminding yourself of it often is going to make a world of difference for you.
00:49:19
Speaker
Yes. Oh, man. what What you said, reminded that the celebration list especially, reminded me of, ah again, my TEDx, where I open and close it with a statement that you are enough, you are worthy of all the greatest things that life has to offer, and I love you simply for being you.
00:49:38
Speaker
And you pointed out so so vividly, like, vulnerability, how I say it and how I see it is vulnerability is the ultimate act of self-love. Because in order to love the person that I am today, I have to love all those different parts of my past.
00:49:53
Speaker
And i and i have fully embraced that. like i fully embrace the parts that the world may call a mistake, may deem negative and bad and criticized. But like that all of those things have made me the person that I am today. And I love the person that I am today.
00:50:09
Speaker
And so it's it's embracing that. And i oh i just, it's so much goodness. I hope that people listen to this on repeat and take notes and make those lists and make those IM, but also just reach out for the support because we need accountability.
Celebrating Personal Traits and Self-Belief
00:50:26
Speaker
We need people to help us through this journey. And and want to get to to that and how people can can reach you and and connect with you and your work. But before we close this out, I have another Oh, I want to go back to another thing you said too, was was that when you ask people who they are, they'll start to tell you things that they're not.
00:50:45
Speaker
And I think that is super powerful because if you ask people what they like or with if you ask people who they are something that should be an affirmative, it'll turn negative quickly.
00:50:56
Speaker
It may be the third or fourth or fifth thing, but just pay attention to that in your own thinking, in your own ways of of communicating. If I ask you, what do you like? And you say, I don't like chocolate. Well, what do you like? You have to start to think about those things that you are and that you like and that you are sent here and meant to be part of. And so I thought that that was really powerful. um But this segment here is is a fill in the blank.
00:51:22
Speaker
And so you just, let again, let me know the first thing to come to mind is as short or as long as you would like.
00:51:31
Speaker
vulnerability makes me feel blank.
00:51:37
Speaker
That's a great one.
00:51:43
Speaker
Vulnerability makes me feel naked and unashamed.
00:51:47
Speaker
There's a, yeah again, I'm a ah person of faith. There's a, there's a portion of the scripture. It's really early on. It's in the Bible. It's in Genesis. And it, and it talks about,
00:51:59
Speaker
Adam and Eve being with God. And it said this, that they were naked and unashamed. And that's a physical, obviously, a physical description of who they were, but also an emotional description of who they were.
00:52:12
Speaker
But in many cases, vulnerability is that for us. Vulnerability is me feeling naked in front of you. And in that place, I can feel shame or I can feel guilt or I can feel worry, stress or what have you.
00:52:24
Speaker
But in the place of understanding who you are, then that vulnerability is me really just showing up as me. And and like you talked about in in what you say in your TED talk, it's it's me showing up and that's enough.
00:52:36
Speaker
And that's not only enough, but that's perfectly exactly who I'm supposed to be. And it's not in response to you and it's not because of you, but it's in front of you. And so that place, it's being naked and unashamed.
00:52:51
Speaker
We get the naked part because we feel that way when things go wrong, when something happens, when we're exposed for something we do or when we have those thoughts that are telling us we're not good enough. The unashamed part is the part that will set you free.
00:53:04
Speaker
Dang, so powerful. Living life by design means blank. Living life by design means living exactly who you're created to be, not where your past has told you, not things you're using to try and measure up.
00:53:20
Speaker
My greatest superpower is blank.
00:53:24
Speaker
my my grand My wife wouldn't think this, but my greatest superpower is impatience.
00:53:33
Speaker
in In that I want everything and I want to know. and And that's led me down some roads of having to backtrack and recover from some, you know, choices where i leaped out in front of what I should have.
00:53:45
Speaker
But here's the truth of the matter. Again, from a person that's ah a spiritual person, what i what I understood when I was doing some things, and I mean, i quit my job because I believed I was supposed to be in ministry. Unfortunately, the income that I felt I was supposed to have didn't come and we almost had a financial disaster.
00:54:03
Speaker
And in those places, a lot of times in our life, we can do things and beat ourself up for them for the rest of our life. We can always remember back to, oh, i did that or I didn't do that. Or, you know, you know for us as men, we want to be leaders and and people in our household that are providing. And sometimes when you're not, you can feel like you're horrible and you're not measuring up.
00:54:24
Speaker
And what I understood when I started to walk through that life mastery journey and and and started to recognize those times where i always felt guilt for my past mistakes. And it doesn't mean the past mistakes weren't mistakes.
00:54:35
Speaker
It's definitely were mistakes that I needed to walk through. The challenge is it's the identity statement that you take from it. And and in that place, the thing I thought was a failure was actually a success in this I believe that when you're reaching out for the things that you believe you're called to, the life that you're created for, even if you fail, it it's in the intent in being willing to believe in yourself and bet on yourself that you should be immensely proud.
00:55:01
Speaker
Because whether I succeed or not, the truth is i bet on me. I bet on what I believed was the best life I could live and the best person I could become. And in that place, that's not something to be ashamed of. I need to learn from the mistakes, but I need to be proud of me for being willing to try, for being willing to take that leap. Even if the leap was into the darkness or you know onto the next thing, it was the fact that I was willing to do it that I should be immensely proud of.
00:55:30
Speaker
Wow. Wow. Wow. if i could tell my yeah If I could give a piece of advice to my younger self, it would be blank.
00:55:43
Speaker
You're better than how you're showing up. And someday you're going to find the path to get there.
00:55:49
Speaker
And lastly, when I need inspiration, I turn to like,
00:55:58
Speaker
um For me, it's it's the word of God or it's people who are overcoming hard things in their life. I get immense inspiration from other people being brave at doing hard things, even if they're not people that are known and are famous.
00:56:16
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. I think it's it comes even it's more powerful from folks who aren't in that category. So, oh, Mark, this has been absolutely fantastic. I appreciate you for for sharing this time with me and sharing the wisdom that you've gained throughout your life.
00:56:32
Speaker
Are there any final thoughts that you want to leave the audience or any things that you want to get off your chest?
00:56:38
Speaker
Yeah, I think, you know, just in summary, what you said your TED talk was profound to me in that you are enough and you're good enough and you're worthy to be loved. and And the thing that I did right that I talked about that I was proud of is that the thing I would give you for yourself whether you're in the journey of just now trying to figure it out, you're in the middle of a mess that you've created, you're on your way to that lifemay life master life you've believed for, or you're anywhere in between. Here's the one secret thing that most folks don't talk about, but it's that being willing to bet on yourself.
00:57:11
Speaker
It doesn't matter where you're at in the journey. What does matter is my unwillingness to compromise and my belief that I'm going to get there. If you do that, you'll find the path. It may not be the one you've believed for. It may not be the one you're currently on.
00:57:22
Speaker
But what you'll find is that at the end of that road is the man or woman showing up that you believed you could be. And there's nothing you can succeed at in life that is greater than the feeling of that guy, that woman showing up and knowing this is exactly who I am.
00:57:36
Speaker
You may take, you know, my life mastery course or something Reggie has to offer something when somebody else has. But the one thing that nobody has that you need to give is that uncompromising belief that I'm going to get there and I'm going to better on myself until I do.
00:57:49
Speaker
Absolutely. Oh, Mark, how can people contact you? How can they follow your work? How can they work with you? Can you give us some contact info? Yeah, absolutely. I try and be a one-stop shop, Reggie, and my one-stop is my website.
00:58:03
Speaker
So that's freedom-for-life.net, freedom-for-life.net. My course is out there. There's an e-book version of my book out there, so you can have it on any device you own.
00:58:14
Speaker
Obviously, like everybody else, my book's on Amazon because everything's on Amazon, so you can get it there. But if you want to reach out to me directly and ask me questions about Life Masterhouse for you, how you can implement it, you can reach out to me at markmark at freedom-for-life.net.
00:58:30
Speaker
Awesome, Mark. And I'll put that in the show notes so that it's easy for people to find. Mark, this has been fantastic. I love the work that you're doing. I love the person that you have become and and the person that you've always been. I can see the light that shines within you and it is brightened and and it is sharing sharing you're sharing that with the world. And I appreciate that so much, Mark, with all the things that you could be doing and all the places you could be.
00:58:53
Speaker
i appreciate you being here with me embracing vulnerability. It's been a great conversation, Reggie. You've made the highlight of my day. i appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you for joining us in another episode of Vulnerability Muscle.
00:59:05
Speaker
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00:59:19
Speaker
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00:59:35
Speaker
Visit vulnerabilitymuscle.com for additional resources and support. And remember, embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. It is the source of your greatest strength.
00:59:46
Speaker
Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but most workouts are. So keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.