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063 - Lessons on Spiritual Awakening and End-of-Life Wisdom from a Soul Coach and Doula
18 Plays20 days ago
“Never deny them the struggle.” That quote from her father shaped Daina Hughes' parenting—and her purpose. But what happens when the struggle itself becomes the sacred teacher?
In this powerful episode of Vulnerability Muscle, host Reggie D. Ford sits down with Daina Hughes, a soul coach, end-of-life doula, and co-author of Look Up, for a heart-expanding conversation about spirituality, grief, motherhood, and the sacred art of holding space.
Daina opens up about losing her best friend at 18 and how that grief became a catalyst for her spiritual awakening. She shares how she and her father—who's not only her mentor but also her business partner—discovered their spiritual paths together. We explore how Daina helps others navigate death with dignity as an end-of-life doula, and how she balances absorbing deep human emotion without letting it consume her spirit.
The episode also dives into:
- Why scheduling your crying sessions might just save your sanity
- How to raise resilient kids without recreating generational pain
- What it means to be a “gifted” or intuitive child and how to nurture that
- The emotional boundaries that protect healers from burnout
- Reframing spirituality as a journey back to self-belief
Daina’s book, Look Up, offers a unique fusion of memoir and spiritual coaching, answering life's biggest questions through deeply personal storytelling.
If you’ve ever felt “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” or struggled to process grief, trauma, or even your spiritual curiosity—this episode will feel like a soft place to land.
Contact Info:
Website: angelichealing.ca
Book: Look Up by Daina Hughes and Larissa Soren — available on Amazon
Social: @divinedainn on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Ready to explore the divine through your own vulnerability?
Hit play now and discover how your greatest pain can become your most powerful path to purpose.
Recommended
Transcript
Personal Journey and Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
When I was 18, I lost my best friend in a really tragic car accident when I had gone off to university. And I think that was one of the biggest catalysts was my grief of being like, once the numbness kind of wore off of being like, no, I need to understand how this world works and where do we go after and what do we do and what's the point of being here? And that all really came from anger, but ended up being the most healing part of it for me of being like, no, no, no, now it's not like a adventure. I have to know.
00:00:28
Speaker
Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the inspiring podcast challenging norms and helping you redefine vulnerability as a strength. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle dives into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts.
00:00:46
Speaker
We explore the power of vulnerability and fostering meaningful connections. healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth. Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but good workouts often are.
00:01:01
Speaker
So join us and flex that vulnerability muscle. Welcome to this episode of Vulnerability Muscle. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford.
Dana Hughes: Soul Coach and End-of-Life Doula
00:01:10
Speaker
And today I have with me Dana Hughes.
00:01:12
Speaker
Dana is a soul coach, certified end-of-life doula, and co-author of Look Up, With a unique approach to healing and spiritual growth, Dana specializes in guiding individuals on their personal journeys of awakening, self-discovery, and transformation.
00:01:30
Speaker
As part of the team at Angelic Healing, Dana uses a deeply intuitive coaching style, one that is completely tailored to the individual with no fixed framework.
00:01:41
Speaker
This allows each person to access their own inner wisdom, align with their true path, and unlock the answers they seek. Whether navigating life's transitions, healing emotional wounds, or embarking on a spiritual awakening, Dana empowers each soul to discover their light and share it with the world.
00:01:59
Speaker
Through a blend of expertise, compassion, and experience, Dana offers a safe, supportive space for clients to illuminate their path and embrace their highest potential. Welcome, Dana. How are you?
00:02:13
Speaker
I'm fantastic. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to to be a part of this. I'm excited to have you and just listening to that bio, I'm i'm really interested in a lot of things and and getting deeper. But before we do, i have a segment called What Comes to Mind.
00:02:30
Speaker
So you let me know the first thing you think of and try not to think too hard on it. Okay, I love that. What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability?
00:02:42
Speaker
Authentic. That's good. What do you do to center yourself when you feel stressed or depressed or maybe even you know anxious? i usually will try to schedule in a meditation as soon as possible. But when the schedule is a bit crazy, i i just try to pause for in the moment of whatever I'm doing, whether it's sneaking away to the bathroom or just pausing or muting myself on a meeting. um to just come back into center, you know, put my hand on my chest and remember who I am.
00:03:14
Speaker
That's what try. Ooh, remember who I am. I think that goes with the authenticity as well. Question, you said scheduling the meditation. What do you mean by that? You're you're working with a guided, of someone who guides you through it?
00:03:26
Speaker
No, I, well, I do our own meditations or myself or even in silence. But when I have those moments for like those urges where i'm like, I need something, whether that's like, 30 minutes to cry it out or a meditation or a journal. Like I've physically put it in my schedule so that I treat it as just as important as any other event that I might have that day.
00:03:46
Speaker
I'm glad I clarified that because that is so important because I say if it's not on my schedule, chances are it's not getting done. So thank you for that.
Processing Emotions and Spiritual Awakening
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah, it's one of my favorite stories, actually. When I a long time ago when I was in therapy, a therapist taught me that.
00:03:59
Speaker
And she was like, you need to start scheduling your crying sessions into your calendar because you run everything off your calendar. And so I did that for many, many of years. And it was very helpful. Nice. You met yourself where you were. i like that.
00:04:13
Speaker
like that. Yeah. What is one of your favorite childhood memories?
00:04:19
Speaker
Oh, you said don't think too hard. This one makes people think a little bit. You know what? One of my favorite memories from childhood is, is that um I grew up primarily in my father's household.
00:04:30
Speaker
And every single night that we could, we always ate dinner together as a family. And of all the things I cherish, that's one of the things I cherish most. Wow, that's special.
00:04:40
Speaker
That's really special. i'm I'm glad you had that. And you grew up in Canada? Yes. Yes. and And so where are you now? I'm in Canada. I am in Alberta, which is like on the west side of Canada.
00:04:53
Speaker
Okay. The Texas of Canada, they do say.
00:04:57
Speaker
I got you. I got you. Cool. Tell me a little bit about the background story of Dana. Like what what led you to the life that you're living today? Oh, this is so funny. ah This is a question I'm asked in the book, actually. And I say I literally have no idea because my I don't I don't always credit like one aha moment, but like an accumulation of catalysts that kind of came together to to form.
00:05:23
Speaker
the being that I am today and and that is ever evolving. um But I didn't grow up in a house of spirituality. There was no set framework of belief system. When I was younger, my dad just said, I don't really care what you believe in, but believe in something.
00:05:37
Speaker
Just find something that that matters to you and stands with you. And then i began to passionately explore social issues and religion and never felt all the way there.
00:05:50
Speaker
Like I saw beauty in a lot of it and I loved a lot of it. And then I would hit a moment where i were like, oh, no, that's not it. And so I kind of just felt a lot of years frustrated with the world and just trying to figure out what to do with that. And then when I was 18, I lost my best friend in a really tragic car accident when I had gone off to university.
00:06:11
Speaker
And I think that was one of the biggest catalysts was my grief of being like, once the numbness kind of wore off of being like, no, I need to understand how this world works and where do we go after and what do we do and what's the point of being here. And that all really came from anger, but ended up being the most healing part of it for me of being like, no, no, no. Now it's not like a adventure. I have to know who I am and what I'm doing here.
00:06:36
Speaker
um because I have that purpose. I needed that purpose in life. And so that's really what started my awakening. And then my dad was also going through an awakening at the same time, um which I was super resistant to at the beginning. I was like, get away from me. yeah I don't know what you're talking about.
00:06:52
Speaker
um And then as I started to heal through my grief, like I came back and, you know, really started asking those questions and being honest and brave enough to ask the questions, even if I didn't love the answers that I was getting.
00:07:04
Speaker
um So then I spent a couple years training in the community with mediums and Reiki healers and teaching and guiding. And you know then the pandemic happened and we did a lot in the virtual reality world. And then i would say that I thought then I was like awakened and I had hit the moment. And then I became a mom um you know just over two years ago. which Congratulations. Thank you.
00:07:24
Speaker
And that was like a whole other awakening of understanding my purpose on this world a bit more. So that's how I came to today. But who knows where we're going next.
Transforming Grief into Growth
00:07:32
Speaker
Yeah. Like you said, ever evolving. Wow. That that's powerful. And I'm sorry to hear about your friend that that that's such a tragic way to die and so early. But it sounds like you took that you grieve through it. Right. Can you talk about that grief process? Like you didn't you didn't just blow through it. Right. You had anger. You had a lot of different things there.
00:07:53
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's a unique circumstance. Like, yeah, she was very young. I was 18, but she was 16 the time and, or 17. And, and or seventeen and um there was so much anger because there was someone to blame. Like someone did actually like go to prison, like for her, her death. And um I ebbed and flowed through all of it.
00:08:13
Speaker
But one thing that I always said, you know, she had a spunky personality. And so every time I would get really deep in it, it would just be like, she would kick my butt.
00:08:24
Speaker
Like, and I mean it, like she would physically abuse me if she knew that I was just sitting here, like wasting my life and my passion and my purpose. And then So it definitely took some time, um as the the grieving process does, and it hits you and it comes in waves and it will for years and years.
00:08:41
Speaker
um But I think one of the biggest things is, you know, when we talk about tragedy or trauma in life, you kind of are a part of a club where you're like, you only really know if you know. And that was kind of when I realized that, like, grief and understanding death and how I process that is quite unique to other people.
00:08:58
Speaker
um And then I kind of realized, as odd as it is to say, I'm kind of good at it. Yeah. I was able to help other people. And then I decided to turn that into something productive um and help and guide people through grief and through death and all of it. And that turned um that pain into something so powerful for me. And then i I'm at a point now in my life where it's not that I'm grateful that it happened, but it was one of the most pivotal transformations that I've ever been through. And I would not be who I was without without knowing her, but also without losing her.
00:09:30
Speaker
Yeah. What would you say your your feeling is toward, like you mentioned that there was anger in a person to be angry about. Has that feeling evolved or has that stayed the same?
00:09:43
Speaker
You know, I think at the beginning it was really easy to sit in it because it gave me something tangible to be angry at or to vent about or put the feelings I had on the inside outside. um But I don't feel any anger towards him at all. i He went to prison. He's out of prison. I went to like verdict day.
00:10:00
Speaker
There's a lot of people in the community that were like really involved in the trial and have some really deep still feelings. And all of that is still incredibly valid. But i I also take the path of that's God's business.
00:10:11
Speaker
And I'm not going to waste my energy in my life wishing unwell on someone who is doing whatever they're doing um because, you know, I don't believe that her in heaven, that she's mad anymore. And that's just not my burden to carry.
00:10:26
Speaker
That's such a beautiful perspective. Thank you for sharing that. Wow. Wow. can you Can you go back to when you you said your dad was like, just believe in something, right? And you started to explore, you started to adventure for yourself. And you said that there were social issues that you were passionate about. Can you
Impact of Upbringing and Family Relationships
00:10:45
Speaker
list some of those? or what What was young Dana interested in?
00:10:48
Speaker
um Everything. oh I think it's funny because criminal reform is is one of the top things on my list and it goes in tandem with everything I believe about spirituality and, you know, people and growth and second chances.
00:11:01
Speaker
So that was a big thing. And although I said that I live, you know, in a similar like kind of Texas vibe, I also am in a very metropolitan city. And I was often in my neighborhoods and in my schooling, I was often the maybe one white girl there, the one white kid there. And so that was like a different perspective of understanding race in the world. And then kind of growing up and realizing that, wait, this is not the normal perspective for everyone. Like I'm kind of seeing it from a different toe than a lot of people do.
00:11:30
Speaker
um And so definitely like that is definitely something on my list. And I mean, my husband is black and my daughter is biracial now. yeah So that's something that kind the beginning Yeah. What was the predominant, ah i guess, ethnicity or race where you were? Because I don't even i don't know. It's hard for me in Tennessee to associate that. Like, i don't know.
00:11:52
Speaker
um I would say it's probably a mix between like the black community and also like East Asian. OK. Yeah. A lot of people from India, Pakistan and that area that all live around here.
00:12:04
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Nice. Nice. Good. Your, your dad has had a, had an influence on you. I'm, I'm just curious. What is, what is your dad mean to you? If he was listening to this podcast, what would you say?
00:12:19
Speaker
ah My dad is everything to me. He's not only my mentor in this world, you know, my first best friend, but he's also my my boss at Agilic Healing. He's the founder of the company. um And so he he's my North Star in life. I dedicate the book to him. And he's the one who taught me how to ask questions.
00:12:35
Speaker
And he's the one who encouraged me to ask questions and the one who Oh, I'm going to get goosebumps now. But he he really built me up to be a person who knows what I believe in and stands on that. And if he ever had a doubt that I wasn't confident, he would push me just to make sure that I could be confident.
00:12:55
Speaker
um And so he really built me up to to have the drive and the ambition, but also the the tenderness and and the heart that I have all at the same time, which is a pretty difficult combination to do as a father, but he did it really well Yeah.
00:13:09
Speaker
Yeah. If you don't mind my asking, and that was beautiful by the way, and I hope he listens to this and I can tell like, like there's a deep connection there. And so, um, um, if you don't mind, addressing your mom or or any motherly figures in your life.
00:13:26
Speaker
Yeah. So I, I do have a stepmother and she's been in my life as long as my recollection exists. Um, they got together when I like an early toddler. Um, my biological mom, i have a good relationship with her as an adult. She wasn't entirely present when I was a kid. She had other kids and she didn't live here for a while. So I have a good relationship with her now and she's a great grandmother.
00:13:47
Speaker
But I never had that like maternal relationship with, to be honest, either of them, because my stepmom was trying and I was too busy being upset that my mom wasn't there to we didn't really get close until I was a teenager and we're really close now.
00:14:00
Speaker
yeah But that was definitely something I kind of had to heal through in my journey was, you know, my mom and the feelings that I felt around that. And, you know, I think everyone wants their their mom to be around. And when you're a kid, you don't really understand the context of why people make different choices.
00:14:15
Speaker
But I also know that while that is true and I craved that for a while, I wouldn't be who I am without the upbringing that I had. Yeah, definitely. i would agree. if My mom was very present. My mom was present physically, but I think emotionally absent.
00:14:33
Speaker
and And so craving that that love, that nurturing, um it it leaves you longing and it leaves you grieving when you do come to the realization that that wasn't your reality.
00:14:45
Speaker
And so I can imagine that there was a lot of ah feelings and emotions around that time. So yeah i'm i'm um I'm glad that you've been able to work through that.
00:14:55
Speaker
Have you seen any of that come up in your own parenting, like the the feelings that you had or or just not knowing, questions that you have, anything like that?
Motherhood and Resilience
00:15:04
Speaker
Yeah, I had a lot of, I had feelings that came up both positive and negative. I think about it when I became a mom.
00:15:11
Speaker
um I didn't know if I was having a boy or a girl until she was born. And then i I had a daughter, which is the most amazing thing ever. But I think I was a little scared um to to have a girl because I was like, i don't really know. No one really showed me how to do this. Or even if they were showing me, I wasn't really paying attention.
00:15:29
Speaker
um And so I was a little nervous because I didn't really know what that really strong mother-daughter relationship looked like from the beginning. um So that was a lot of intuition, but also like just a lot of talks to myself of it's not the same.
00:15:43
Speaker
It's not the same. um But those there's have these little moments where like my dad or my my husband will be like, are we overcompensating? Are we having a moment where we're trying to give too much of what we didn't feel that we had? And those moments come up, but I think that that's okay because when they do, it's just like,
00:16:00
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly what that was. I'm going to think about that later and off we go because it's a growing period. And it's, I think everybody does that as a parent, whether you're conscious of it or not, you're overcompensating or you're undercompensating, or you're just trying to do something different or you're trying to do something the same.
00:16:18
Speaker
But when I was pregnant, me and my husband had so many conversations. I'm a big conversation person. like to talk. But i we had a lot of chats about those really vulnerable topics.
00:16:29
Speaker
because he too also has a fractured relationship with his mom of, you know, what are those things that we want to make sure that our children never feel? um But what are those things that we want them to feel? And then also, what are the things we learned out of our struggle that we're going to have to find a different way to teach them because they're not going to have that struggle?
00:16:47
Speaker
But that thing I learned from that struggle was really important. So how do I give her that resilience knowing she's not going to have to fight like that? So it was a lot of those conversations coming i want to know.
00:16:57
Speaker
I want to know. To that last point about the resilience building in ah in a situation where they're not going through the same struggle. What are some of the things that you do to to give that, I don't know, sense of struggle or sense of resilience building?
00:17:13
Speaker
I think for me, it's still about having the struggle, but having the safe space at the same time. um My dad's like quote of my lifetime, I'm surprised it's not tattooed on my forehead at this point, is like never deny them the struggle. And I used to hate when he said this to me.
00:17:28
Speaker
And because there was times where he would let me struggle and I would be like, why aren't you helping me? And he's like, just wait. And then I would be like, I'm so glad I did it myself or, you know, whatever came after that. um So I still want her to struggle within the boundaries of of comfort.
00:17:44
Speaker
And I want her to be able to understand rejection and when no happens and when those disappointment comes and know that she has a safe space to go, but also know that she can handle it.
00:17:55
Speaker
And I mean, she's only two. So exactly how I'm going to play that out through her whole years, as I will to be planned to be evolved. But I know I had big conversations of like, how do i I champion my resilience so much, but a lot of that resilience came through pain.
00:18:10
Speaker
And I want to have her be that resilient without maybe all the pain Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am not a parent, but I think I have similar ah dialogue in my head when I think about how how would I race someone through and experience in life that they will not see what I saw. They will not go through what I went through um to the degree that I went through, especially. And just like, i i will I will keep them safe from those things, but want to give them the things that help build resilience and put them through things that challenge them, let them take risks, but in a safe container.
00:18:48
Speaker
And so I think that is a ah challenge of parenting and I was glad to hear you just normalize the ah overcompensating, the the over overcorrecting, the overcompensating of what we experienced because like you said, so many folks, like we experienced it, whether it was good or bad. like We want to do something and either give give our child more of that a good experience or less of those bad ones. and it just It shows up. So um thank you for normalizing that for all the parents out there. The pendulum swing is like the ever thing of growth, right? yeah Even if you're not a parent, you you'd want to get rid of this thing. But it always ends up we swing to the extreme on the opposite. Like we know the growth journey, right? and then we But that's normal and that's okay.
00:19:34
Speaker
And it's probably going to take a couple swings to then find the balance that is the best of both worlds. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, wow.
Exploring Spirituality in 'Look Up'
00:19:42
Speaker
um can you can you Can you speak to what your what what's in your book, Look Up? Can you talk about that? What would led to co-authoring that and what guidance or wisdom do you provide in that?
00:19:56
Speaker
Oh, yes. This is such an exciting project and it was a very unexpected ah you know gift that I was given the opportunity to write this book. And My co-author is an established author. And so I guess the story that I hear was that she was looking to talk to someone and talk to an expert in spirituality.
00:20:16
Speaker
And through my wonderful family member was given my name because she's in the editing world. And so they had to connect and she was going through, you know, some really, really difficult, vulnerable experiences coming into questioning the world in her own time and needed someone to kind of assist her with that, but also kind of wanted to write a book about everything that she was experiencing.
00:20:39
Speaker
And so it's this really unique coaching demonstration where she tells all of these stories from her life that are leading to these questions that she has about the world. And so every story ends with a question and they are sometimes curious, sometimes very tragic stories ah that led to these moments and in her grief as well.
00:20:59
Speaker
And every story ends with a question and then I get to answer the question through stories and moments through my own life of how maybe I learned to find that. that out around the world that's really cool that's really cool ah like that is are there any examples can you give any examples Oh, there's there's like so many examples, but I mean, it's like 14 chapters long. So I think there's like 15 questions.
00:21:25
Speaker
But, you know, she she'll say, we always talk about chapter number four um because it started with the question, why am I finding it so hard to believe in spirituality? Like, why can't I just believe?
00:21:39
Speaker
And the story she was telling, I was like, Larissa, I think we need to ask a different question. because she wasn't really frustrated with spirituality and the thing she really was having a hard time believing in was herself.
00:21:52
Speaker
and She was believing in everything that she would see. But when it came down to the fact that it was connected to her, she didn't believe it. And so then we flipped it and it then it became of why am I finding it so hard to believe in myself?
00:22:04
Speaker
But that was kind of a little peek behind the curtain of how that process went. And um she gave me in bulk form. So she like, read it wasn't like a continuous. She just gave me all of these questions and all of these stories. And then I responded to who she was at each version of that story, not to who she is now.
00:22:23
Speaker
So I'm talking to different versions of herself throughout the book as she's growing and as she's getting more confident and as she's shedding more narrative. And she also comes from a little bit more of an anti-religious background and has a little bit of religious trauma there.
00:22:37
Speaker
And so there was a little bit of untwisting that at the same time uh, of how to look at that more cleanly without being angry at, you know, the one person you met a couple years ago or what may have. So it was a really unique project and I've never really seen it be demonstrated like that. Cause it's so hard to articulate, you know, what different coach do.
00:22:56
Speaker
Um, so yeah, it was really, that's that's a really cool way of, of, of writing a book of telling a story, answering questions, coaching all in one. that that's really cool i like that idea i'm curious to like what you would how you change the evolution of that title of of why am i having this so hard to was it find spirituality or believe in spirituality yeah to believing in myself or believing in me as a soul coach yeah um what's the connection between spirituality and me like i i feel like
00:23:30
Speaker
at a deep level, we are that. And I don't know, ma so yeah. Yeah, I think it's one thing to like believe and be like, oh, well, you know, whether it's a religious, you know, ritual or whether it's like a tarot card or whether it's like a prayer, um whatever it may be, it when it's outside, you're like, oh, I like this.
00:23:49
Speaker
This is nice. This feels good. I feel better after I do it. But the obstacle of then believing that whatever, you know, being that you're interested in, then also created you too.
00:24:03
Speaker
And if you think this is all magical and wonderful and beautiful, then you might have to contemplate the fact that you are as well. And you are too this divine creation. But that is such a blockade for some people.
00:24:17
Speaker
You know, there's always this quote that goes around Facebook. It's like, how dare you stare at the water and the mountains and talk about the awe in which that God created, but not be able to say the same thing when you look in the mirror. yeah And so I think that was really what that chapter was about of like, yes, the exploration is fun and going to the markets and the crystals and all that. It's so much fun and it's so exciting.
00:24:39
Speaker
But are you spending that same time exploring and building belief in yourself as you are as everything around you? That's powerful. Thank you for that. What role does vulnerability play in the work that you do in helping individuals or even community?
Coaching with Authenticity and Vulnerability
00:24:54
Speaker
I think everything in like the scariest way. um i am This is something I had to really conquer at the beginning of my awakening and as I step into my role as a coach.
00:25:06
Speaker
But also, again, writing this book is that you have these moments where you're like, I want to look good. Like I want to come off as a good coach. I want to come off like I know what I'm doing. But I can't pretend that I made this cake with different ingredients that I actually did.
00:25:22
Speaker
Because I got here through pain, through moments of questioning everything, of, you know, fail and restart and go over again and have this belief and then learn some more things. And then I'm like, i actually don't believe in any of that anymore. Now I believe in this because I now have new information and I've changed my perspective. and That's so important.
00:25:42
Speaker
So important. And when we're always worried about how it comes off, people don't admit that type of thing. And at the same time, when I'm speaking to a room of people or I'm talking to someone or they're reading my book and they're broken and they're lost and they can't relate with my story because it's all sunshines and rainbows and perfectness that I edited afterwards.
00:26:02
Speaker
That's not really true. They're thinking that's not how it's looking for me, yeah but it never looked like that for me to begin with. And so As someone who probably a few years ago cared way too much about what people thought about me, I had to really overcome that and say, like, I'm just, if I'm not being honest about how I got here and and the tears that floated me on this boat, um I'm just lying.
00:26:27
Speaker
And then how could I ever ask someone to trust me? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow. That is, that is so real. Cause I think like you you said, opening up like vulnerability makes you think of authenticity and being true to who you are. And I love what you said about the book, like at like writing, writing a book is such a process and there are some ugly parts to that process.
00:26:53
Speaker
Just like life. There's some real ugly parts. I remember I sent my manuscript over And I'm copying things from some Word docs that I've had years ago. And and I'm just like putting it all together. And I sent it out.
00:27:06
Speaker
And that was probably the worst writing that I have ever sent to any anyone. But it wasn't the final product. right And I think when people finally get it, that final product in hand, they think, oh my gosh, it's so nice. So buttoned up. It's so tight.
00:27:21
Speaker
But it's it the process to getting to that and knowing that it was edited and knowing that there There are things that have been taken out, put in all of this, like, and how many eyes and people worked on that.
00:27:34
Speaker
that is curated for consumption, for, you know, kind commercial use. And so, um yeah, I think it's kind of like social media in that way where like I could take 20,000 pictures and you only see one of them.
00:27:49
Speaker
yeah And it's like, but we judge ourselves against an unrealistic standard. And so I'm glad that you were able to to open up and be honest about that.
00:28:01
Speaker
um Yeah, that's really cool. One thing that's that stood out to me is this end of life doula. Yeah.
Role and Experiences as an End-of-Life Doula
00:28:08
Speaker
Tell me what that is and tell me what you do. Yeah. So it is, I really got into, that's the, see, whenever I talk about this, I feel funny because I'm like, I talk about it very lightly. It's obviously very serious for people who I'm working with.
00:28:22
Speaker
But when I, when the pandemic was going on, Me and my dad and another local member to Angelic Healing volunteered in the ICU. um We had just started right before the pandemic. We had no idea that it was coming. Obviously, we had all been trained up for about like two months and then the whole world shut down.
00:28:41
Speaker
and the hospital was completely closed to visitors except for people doing end-of-life visits and so the three of us would volunteer a couple nights a week and we would escort families from the front door and pp them and take them up to say their goodbyes and then back down and so that kind of became our specialty even when the doors opened back up and we were if someone was dying and they needed either the family needed help or the patient needed help they would call us and we would go and sit with them and figure out what they needed or what the family needed to make that experience a little bit better.
00:29:15
Speaker
Sometimes it was just sitting with them. And then so during that time, we all got actually certified as end of life doulas. And so that can look like many different things. And it really depends on the sphere you're working in. But it's really just kind of coaching someone through that end of life process and whether that's an extended period and that includes their family and maybe some grief education to prepare the grieving process to begin.
00:29:37
Speaker
whether that's someone who's alone and doesn't have anybody to go through the death person with, or someone who's really struggling with their mortality. Um, or sometimes it can kind of be in that acute care situation where someone is at the hospital, they don't have anyone and they're going to pass away.
00:29:52
Speaker
Um, and they need someone to come sit with them and and be with them through those moments. So that's so special. Can you speak to maybe a relationship or connection that you built with a family or individual?
00:30:05
Speaker
in that process and what you gained from that? There's so many that I could talk about, but always one comes to my head and there was, this was really in the the peak of ah the pandemic and there was a very, very big family and they were Vietnamese, I believe.
00:30:25
Speaker
And there was Zoom calls happening for basically like 24 hours straight. And we would do a lot of Zoom calls without external families. And it wasn't the interaction I had with the patient because they were pretty much unconscious by that point.
00:30:39
Speaker
I could feel them there, but it was the family. And they had gotten, I'll cry, but they'd gotten everybody on the the Zoom. And there was people from Texas and there was people from California and there was people from Singapore and there was people from Vietnam and They all were on this Zoom call in like the last hour of life.
00:30:57
Speaker
And they were singing and they were singing and they were chanting and you could hear it like from this little iPad, you could hear it in the whole ICU. And just the outpour of love that this family had, it'll stick with me for my whole life.
00:31:15
Speaker
And like, just when you think about the imprint that people leave and i just felt how many people just loved that person. And I'll never forget it. Wow. That that's some some powerful energy right there. And and you take on a lot of energy. You take on that good feeling that you get from experiences like that. But you take on heavy experiences, too.
00:31:37
Speaker
How do you balance to to keep yourself sane and to protect your energy? How do you balance all that? Yeah, that day I think I came and like lied on the carpet for a good 15, 20 minutes when I got home and just kind of stared at the ceiling thinking about that.
00:31:51
Speaker
um But I, you know, so self, you know, we call it spiritual hygiene around here, but it's really, really important. But I think also it's the the setup of how it works because a lot of people, especially a lot of people who call themselves empaths, they really step into people's shoes. And sometimes, well, incidentally, you know, your body feels that.
00:32:13
Speaker
And you almost kind of have these traumatic moments for yourself while sitting alongside someone one else in their journey. So I go into those moments really knowing that the feelings that I'm feeling and that what I'm able to kind of feel on their behalf and the insight that I'm given to how they're feeling is just meant for me to understand.
00:32:32
Speaker
it isn't meant for me to pack it up and put it in a bag and take home with me as though that that thing happened to me. And so learning how to walk alongside someone without actually getting in their shoes, it's definitely a difficult balance. But it's something I try to prepare on on the front end, rather than having to do a lot of reversal work on the back end.
00:32:54
Speaker
What does that preparation look like? cause i think that is so, so powerful and and needed for a lot of people who take on that secondhand trauma. Yeah, I think it's just, it it sounds like an oversimplification, but it's mindset.
00:33:08
Speaker
I also think it's the understanding that I know the consequences when I don't. And as especially as gifted or intuitive or even just vulnerable people, we feel things deeply.
00:33:19
Speaker
Like I feel things deeply and I feel happy, happy. And I feel sad, sad, like very extreme with my emotions. ah So even sometimes watching the news can feel traumatic for me. And, you know, my husband's like, why are you crying? i'm like, I just, I just opened TikTok for too long. And I saw some things I didn't want to, like, I need to go to bed.
00:33:40
Speaker
um So I really have to do the work on the front end to make sure that I am, what's the term? Observing and not absorbing. and being like 100% observing without absorbing um to make sure that that doesn't come into my heart and into my soul while at the same time I still feel it soulfully, if that even makes sense.
00:34:03
Speaker
that makes It makes a lot of sense. And you just, I wanted to hear that repeated because I use those words a lot, um both. And when I think about like my early upbringing,
00:34:16
Speaker
And being a kid with a lot of dysfunction around, I observed a lot. I observed and I tried to keep myself safe. I found patterns in people's behavior and all of that and became, you know, like little psychologist as ah as a kid just to to be safe.
00:34:35
Speaker
um But a teacher of mine, when I wrote my book, pointed out that there were multiple instances of me Verbatim saying, I wish I could absorb their pain, absorb their pain, absorb their pain. And i read back and think like, that is, that is a phrase that, that I've used because it's happened. I have.
00:35:00
Speaker
literally allowed someone else's pain into my heart and affect me in a way that was unhealthy for me when that wasn't mine to carry. And I've gotten to a place in my journey where i recognize that now where, you know, I can sit there, I can be compassionate, I can be empathetic and understand.
00:35:19
Speaker
um But once this time is over, I do my process and take care of myself. And then I have to carry what I have to carry, not all of yours too. So I think that that's very important and very powerful. So thank you for sharing that and any tips that you have as you, as you, you know, continue to do the work.
00:35:39
Speaker
Um, I would love them and I'm sure other people would too. You know, I think, you know, meditation helps a lot for me just because that's where I decompress a lot of those crazy things that are going on my mind.
00:35:54
Speaker
I'm a big prayer person. That's yeah. I meditate in prayer at different moments of different days, but also sometimes I'm I'm a tangible person. So like I do a lot of journaling as well, especially when I realized that something absorbed something on accident and I'm like, wow, this is really sitting with me.
00:36:10
Speaker
I really still feel heavy about this. I have to journal. I have to talk to a higher power. where I have to like physically find a way to release it from my body, whether it's a journal session, a dance session, I don't care. It's got to come out because I can't,
00:36:23
Speaker
live with it on the inside affecting me like I've allowed my own life experience to in the past right and that's really what puts a lot of people back in healing is that they don't even understand what they're carrying in their own body they don't have the language to say i want it to take it away but actually oopsies I did i did take it and I held it in my heart for someone who wouldn't heal it but it sat with me for two decades and I've i've forgotten it's there dang dang I'm reflecting. I'm listening back to this and I'm just going to be like, okay, let's deep dive. No, that's really good. I appreciate that.
00:37:01
Speaker
Thank you. and And the work that you do with your dad, is is that the doula work? Is that the end of life care work or is it coaching it combined as well? It's mostly coaching. We do like it's end of life is like on the service list. If someone wants to come to me for that, I'll absolutely do it.
00:37:17
Speaker
But a lot of it is more just like one-to-one coaching, whether that's, you know, trauma recovery, whether that's gifted individuals like looking to to work on whether it's healing or whether it's like mediumships, their thing, wanting to get in touch with their higher power and and their their spirit team and kind of really enhance that, you know, but that usually involves a lot of healing at the same time. That kind of usually goes handin hand in hand.
00:37:40
Speaker
and So it's a lot of that. And then we, me, my dad, my husband, and one other team member are local to our area. And then the rest of our teams in the United States. So we are currently as East as Wisconsin and as West as Washington.
00:37:56
Speaker
Okay. Wow. Okay. Yeah. That's really cool. um i'm I'm curious.
Spiritual Gifts and Afterlife Beliefs
00:38:03
Speaker
When you said gifted individuals, how would someone if someone's listening to this right now thinking like, what is this spiritual awakening? What is this talk around? it like how would someone know that they were a gifted individual?
00:38:18
Speaker
um I think I always love this question because it kind of comes off like a symptom list on like WikiHow or something. But, you know, I think it's those people who who've always felt whether they had the courage to admit it out loud or to themselves that.
00:38:34
Speaker
There is a little bit more to the world. Maybe it's never felt white within religion, but the curiosity is there, the questions are there. um Maybe he's always meant felt that your brain works a little different than everyone else or um a feeling that maybe you could help people. I always say it's usually the seven-year-olds that are doing therapy sessions when there's a Christmas dinner or something. You usually don't fit in with kids your age because you see the world a little bit differently.
00:39:00
Speaker
um And it can be it can be a plethora of things. But you those are some of the common things that usually the gifts have in common. um And I think it's so interesting because it's all those little things that.
00:39:11
Speaker
People are like, how could that ever mean something positive? Because I've always deemed it as negative. in real life I'm weird. I'm odd. I don't fit in. But it actually means that you're pretty freaking cool. You just haven't figured out why yet.
00:39:24
Speaker
Yes. Yes. That's good. and it it kind like there's so much intuition and wisdom that that you speak about. And I think... some a lot of that uh can be contributed to just innate and in us and then a lot of it is is through experience and i've been told i'm an old soul i think i'll add that to like if you've been told you're an old soul when you're a very young person like that, that signals to to me at least that there's some deep spiritual things happening there. And so,
00:39:57
Speaker
Well, even what you had said about your childhood when you became like the little the psychologist to be able to read everybody in the room, like obviously that there's a little bit of like trauma response there. and there But even kids like that, right? and And yourself included, there's that. But the way that you're able to do it and the way that You may blame it always on the eyebrows, but you can just feel when someone one walks into a room.
00:40:23
Speaker
Oh, I know how I have to behave today. Don't say that. Don't ask the question like that, too, is gut. And that is intuition. It just was chiseled at a much earlier age than it needs to be for most people.
00:40:37
Speaker
and Do you believe in in prior lives and after lives or your thoughts on that? Yeah, I do. I just believe a little bit different than some that you come in to your life clean. I don't believe that karma carries life to life.
00:40:51
Speaker
Oh, but I absolutely believe in where we go after. Also unconventional. I believe everyone goes to heaven. It might just take you longer to get there. um man i like that. Yeah. I believe that the reason it takes you sometimes longer to get there is because there's that little filter, you know,
00:41:08
Speaker
process of reviewing your life and learning the lessons that you didn't learn. It was like my hint earlier, that's God's business. Everyone will learn the things they need to learn eventually, whether it's here or it's not here. um And then I just believe that when you take on your new life, it's just fresh.
00:41:23
Speaker
It's fair. I like that. I like that everybody goes to heaven. It just takes you a little longer to get there. like yeah we're we' all just It's trial and error. were We're trying to figure this thing out together and you're figuring out what your purpose is on this life in this life and and you're doing you're walking in it and it's it's beautiful to see you've helped.
00:41:42
Speaker
tons of people and this has been extremely helpful for me as well. Thank you. Yeah. i'm really I'm really thankful that we had this opportunity.
Insights on Vulnerability and Spirituality
00:41:51
Speaker
before we Before we hop out of here though, I have a another segment and it's fill in the blank.
00:41:57
Speaker
and Feel free to to have your answers as short or as long as you want. um there are I'm going to ask five. okay so um The first one is vulnerability makes me feel blank.
00:42:09
Speaker
Powerful.
00:42:13
Speaker
my greatest source of strength My greatest source of strength is blank.
00:42:19
Speaker
My honesty.
00:42:24
Speaker
Wow. If I could offer one piece of advice to someone feeling isolated, it would be blank. Make sure you become your best friend.
00:42:36
Speaker
How does one do that? Get to know yourself. And sometimes isolation sucks. But it's the best place to rediscover yourself unfiltered from everybody else and and and be your be your own friend.
00:42:53
Speaker
If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be blank.
00:43:05
Speaker
Yeah. um
00:43:11
Speaker
The things that you think are important are going to be dust in the future. Wow.
00:43:20
Speaker
Wow. And then lastly, no, that's okay. That's okay. I think it was thoughtful. I prefer thoughtful responses. That's good.
00:43:31
Speaker
and then lastly, a book or resource that has profoundly impacted me is blank. Look up the beginner's guide for spirituality written by Dana Hughes. Yes. Where can people find that book?
00:43:47
Speaker
Yeah. Amazon, Amazon worldwide. Um, if you have any trouble finding it, head to angelic healing.ca, but if you type in look up Dana Hughes, it should come up to you wherever you are. Nice. Nice.
00:43:58
Speaker
Dana, this has been absolutely fantastic. It's been great getting to know you and hearing about the work that you do and the person that you are and becoming. Are there any final thoughts or any last words you want to get off your chest? Any rants you want to go? You want to cuss the world out do that?
00:44:16
Speaker
Don't give me that invitation because i've I usually say that my purpose in life is making waves through opening my big mouth. um yeah I just wanted to say, i think that the work that you do here is so incredible and encouraging people to be vulnerable, especially a man.
00:44:32
Speaker
encouraging people to be vulnerable and how important that is is so important. And, you know, we talked earlier about raising kids and I hope that we all get to raise our kids in a little bit of a different world because of people who do work like we do. So just thank you for for holding space for that in your world. Absolutely.
00:44:52
Speaker
Thank you. And thank you for providing such great wisdom and and great energy to the audience. I hope that um people reach out to you and and you know take you on for your services and just just have a conversation because you like conversations. How can people reach you?
00:45:09
Speaker
and The easiest way angelichealing.ca just because it's short and it's easy to spell. ah You can find me through there, but you can also find me TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. Divine Dane is my name all over there, but you can find it through the other stuff if that's easier.
00:45:23
Speaker
But yes, reach out, talk to me, ask me questions. ah Consultations are free. I'd love to hear from you. Awesome, awesome, sweet. Dana, thank you so much. With all the things that you could be doing and all the places you could be, i appreciate you being here with me embracing vulnerability.
00:45:39
Speaker
Thank you for joining us in another episode of Vulnerability Muscle. If you've enjoyed these conversations around vulnerability, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback not only motivates us to continue to do the work that we do, but it allows other people to witness the power of vulnerability.
00:45:56
Speaker
Share your thoughts. on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, or wherever you're listening from. And don't forget to spread the word. You can follow us at Vulnerability Muscle on Instagram and me personally at Reggie D. Ford across all platforms.
00:46:12
Speaker
Visit vulnerabilitymuscle.com for additional resources and support. And remember, embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. It is the source of your greatest strength.
00:46:24
Speaker
Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but most workouts are. So keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.