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070 - Finding Your Spark: How Courage Transforms Invisibility into Impact with Sharon Rolph
14 Plays1 month ago
What if embracing vulnerability could transform feelings of invisibility into a powerful force for change? In this inspiring episode of Vulnerability Muscle, host Reggie D. Ford sits down with the vibrant and resilient Sharon Rolph—behavior scientist, author, and self-proclaimed "Queen of Courage." At 77 years young, Sharon shares how her journey from feeling invisible to discovering her inner spark ignited a passion for empowering baby boomers to repurpose their lives and embrace meaningful retirement.
Sharon opens up bravely about her personal traumas and the secrets that silenced her voice for years. Through vulnerability and profound self-reflection, she unlocked the magic of connection, authenticity, and self-love. Now, Sharon is on a bold mission to impact 10% of the baby boomer generation, inspiring them to unleash their hidden talents and wisdom to heal communities and transform the world.
Listen in as Sharon reveals her insights on:
- The transformative power of vulnerability as a catalyst for innovation and harmony
- Moving from fear-based living toward a life of courage and faith
- Finding your spark through authentic self-expression and intentional curiosity
- How corporations and communities can flourish by cultivating belonging and empathy
- Her remarkable journey from invisibility to becoming the “Queen of Courage,” inspiring others at any age to reclaim their voice and purpose
If you've ever felt unheard, unseen, or unsure of your purpose, this conversation with Sharon Rolph is the encouragement you need. Tune in and discover how vulnerability and courage can transform your story, ignite your spark, and empower you to create lasting, meaningful impact in your life and in the world.
Contact Info:
sharon@effortlessvitality.org
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharon-rolph/
https://www.instagram.com/sharon_queenofcourage/
DISCOVER YOUR SPARK: rekindle your joy - 5 Module course: https://bit.ly/42eVILV
Author: FRESH COURAGE in Retirement: finding purpose, essence and fulfillment
FREE Offer: a CALL to COURAGE: 3 Tips to Awaken & Ignite Your Inner Spark
Facebook Group: Retirement Well-Being Fresh Courage in Retirement
For a quick coffee chat, book a 20 minute session to tell me your story HERE.
6 Dynamic Courses on The Great Discovery: https://bit.ly/sharon-TGDcourses
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPh2wkaTJr_20-hpdkxv_vw
https://www.etsy.com/shop/quiltedpetunia
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Transcript
The Quest for Soulful Insights
00:00:00
Speaker
Nobody had ever asked me to divine my soul before. That's what it felt like. It was a precious moment. And here's what I read. i am precious jewel of wisdom.
00:00:14
Speaker
I am colorful collaborator, motivator, and learner. I am tranquil, authentic, and pure inspirer. I light fires.
00:00:25
Speaker
That's what I want to do for 10% of the boomers.
00:00:30
Speaker
And that feels a lot like heaven on earth.
Introduction to Vulnerability Muscle Podcast
00:00:35
Speaker
Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the inspiring podcast challenging norms and helping you redefine vulnerability as a strength.
00:00:42
Speaker
I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle dives into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts.
Themes of Vulnerability and Growth
00:00:53
Speaker
We explore the power of vulnerability and fostering meaningful connections. healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth. Sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but good workouts often are.
00:01:08
Speaker
So join us and flex that vulnerability muscle. Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle. I'm excited. I'm your host, Reggie
Guest Introduction: Sharon Roth
00:01:16
Speaker
D. Ford. I am also excited. i am excited to have today with me, Sharon Roth. How are you, Sharon?
00:01:23
Speaker
I'm good. I'm good. How about you? I'm doing great. I want to read a little bit of your bio because it's so impressive. but ah Credentialed bio for most of her life, Sharon felt invisible and when retired, she wondered how she'd know if she was productive.
Inspiring Baby Boomers' Potential
00:01:40
Speaker
Today, she's a motivating influencer at 77 young years of age as an author, podcast guest, and queen of courage on Instagram. she Her days now feel right since finding her spark.
00:01:54
Speaker
And a big part of her mission is helping other people find their spark. And I was so impressed when Sharon told me that she intends to impact 10% of the baby boomers by inspiring them to repurpose their free time, invisible assets, and potential so that by using their spark and unleashing their dreams, they strengthen our communities and heal the world.
00:02:17
Speaker
wow.
Harmony and Healing in the World
00:02:18
Speaker
Those are your words. How does that make you feel to hear? it seems like a big task. So I've employed some people to help me with that, a team.
00:02:28
Speaker
But I feel like people are starting to wake up to the fact that we can help heal the world. my yeah Are you feeling that, Reggie?
00:02:39
Speaker
I think so. And I think it I'm glad like your audience is is the baby boomers and helping them because we need the wisdom. We need the life experiences. We need all of what boomers have lived through and know and the energy and the youthfulness and the excitement, because I am excited, ah of the youth. And I think when we come together and bring it bring it together for a shared purpose of healing the world, of making the world a better place for people,
00:03:07
Speaker
um And for our world in and in our natural world, like that is where true growth and and connection happens. And so, yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for you. Yeah. Somebody recently, and just in the last week, used the word harmony. And I thought, wow, what a beautiful word. Ooh, that's good. When we can live in harmony.
00:03:29
Speaker
of the things that's inspired me over the last few years is I love the relationship the scripture in the Lord's prayer, that kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
00:03:46
Speaker
And I've collected a lot of ah stories of people who have experienced heaven and came back. And in fact, on my wall, you can't quite see it here, but I have ah messages that are pretty common, what people bring back.
00:04:00
Speaker
And so I decided that I would imagine standing in heaven, like they experienced all the beauty and the color and the music and the fragrances. i hear ah hear flowers sing to you.
00:04:16
Speaker
Wow. Wow. And I said, okay, I want to feel that in every cell of my body. And then how would it change life here? ah o And, ah you know, for it to be feel like heaven on earth, it's possible you and I can help bring that about.
Vulnerability and Asking for Help
00:04:34
Speaker
and we live Yeah, let's do it. I'm i'm glad that you have ah had some help along the way, because I think that is something that we all need and desire help. ah And we have to be vulnerable to ask for help. And so but I want to jump into a segment called What Comes to Mind.
00:04:51
Speaker
So there's three simple questions. Feel free to answer them however you want or pass or flip it to me or whatever you want to do. But ah the first, what comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability?
00:05:03
Speaker
I think of magic. I think that when I am vulnerable enough to reveal my authenticity and honesty,
00:05:16
Speaker
in and live to tell about it, that invites you to also reciprocate. and And I'm a certified knowledge manager. And the main crux I got out of that training was when I put on the table what I know and you put on the table what you know, but opportunity for new knowledge to emerge happens.
00:05:42
Speaker
Synergy, you know? So, so, um, if I am vulnerable first, it helps you to be courageous to be vulnerable also.
00:05:54
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Oh, I love that. And I think that is one of the things that I've found with vulnerability, the strength in helping us connect in that way, but then also innovate and create. You said there is, there is an idea here. There's an idea here. When we come together, that idea explodes into something bigger and better and things that we didn't even know we could cook up. We do when we come together and open up in that way.
00:06:20
Speaker
Oh, that's good. I love it. and Next question.
Stress Relief through Nature
00:06:23
Speaker
What do you do to center yourself when you're feeling stressed or maybe even depressed? um That doesn't happen very often, Reggie. um i did when i came ah came I took a cruise the end of September and it was a test.
00:06:40
Speaker
It wasn't all that delightful. But um a couple of days later, i i i felt sad for about a half a day. And um It seemed like the cruise was a test and I did not let it upset me. I, I just, whatever happens is okay.
00:07:02
Speaker
Um, but I, um, and, and so if it's a test and okay, next, but, but, um, it seems like last week I had a whole day of being sad and I, I didn't understand it.
00:07:19
Speaker
Um, i I'm reminding myself I've kind of gotten away from playing music here in my condo um hardly at all. And I don't watch very much TV at all.
00:07:31
Speaker
um So I was and being outside would be probably taking a walk because I love taking little biscuits with me on my walk and feeding them to dogs because dogs make me laugh.
00:07:44
Speaker
yeah I get my kisses from dogs, Reggie. Yeah.
00:07:50
Speaker
I love names more than the parents names, you know? Yeah, that's the truth. I walk my dog around the neighborhood and Rosie is a celebrity and nobody knows who Reggie is. And it's like, she gets all the attention and it's so beautiful because like people give her treats and just, oh, she loves it. She is a people person for real. So like, yeah. yeah ah So I whistle at crows and, and squirrels and, um,
00:08:19
Speaker
Yeah, the whole being out in beauty, I i kind of watch what's blooming or what's going to seed. or So beauty is ah a big deal in my life. yeah Yes, I love that. Nature is so beautiful too.
00:08:34
Speaker
right, last one. What is a favorite childhood memory of yours? Yeah, the venture I had that i I thought fondly of was as a probably 12, 14 year old. i want it ah when Whenever an ant would come to the farm with my cousins, um I would scheme up this idea of going back to Seattle with one ant and then a week or two later coming back to the farm with another ant.
00:09:03
Speaker
And um one time I asked my dad, well, let somebody else go and and I'll just ask for them. He said, no, since you asked, and then you get to go. So um i I felt, you know, brave and adventurous going to Seattle. And I think one time we actually even went all the way down on the bus to Redding, California to um just went there and back again. all But I wanted to show you this one block in this about vulnerability is Brene Brown says,
00:09:33
Speaker
When the willingness to show up and be seen without any guarantee of the outcome is her definition.
00:09:44
Speaker
So I'm showing up and being willing to be seen. Yes. And I just leave it up to what, let's see what happens. That's where the magic happens. Ah, I love that. And I love the fact that the willingness to be seen, but in your bio, you describe feeling invisible for a period of time.
00:10:04
Speaker
Can you talk about what led to that? What time period was that in your life? And what did the invisibility feel like to you?
Young Sharon: Feeling Invisible
00:10:13
Speaker
Well, you know, I'm still kind of chewing on that somewhat, but it started very young.
00:10:18
Speaker
um You know, as kids, our inclination is for our human experiences to be safe is you can be.
00:10:31
Speaker
And um just as I was leaving, moved from Seattle to Tampa, Florida, and then moved myself to to um Dallas, Texas. And just before leaving Seattle, I was in a lady's home that was, she was helping people deal with, um you know, there's serious problems in life. And she, I was one of the last ones she talked to, and she gave me ah question about what was my earliest memory. Mm-hmm.
00:11:00
Speaker
And I told her, well, actually, I don't know if this actually happened or not, but I have a sense two or three times that, that, um, I was laying in my crib as stiff as a board.
00:11:14
Speaker
um and that my dad was right there and that he had leaned around the doorpost and called my mom that I was scared that I needed help. And this lady confirmed that that actually happened. Hmm.
00:11:29
Speaker
And later when I was oh four or five years old and other times in my early teens, I had to have a secret with that and masturbate him.
00:11:46
Speaker
And it was confusing. It kind of felt confusing. ugly and dirty and why why do I have to do this? and And so I decided that if I double down, get focused, don't rock the boat, b ah get good grades and don't cause any problems there and be obedient, that was the other one, that i I might be safe.
00:12:15
Speaker
And that pretty much did help me a lot. um i i I said hundreds of times, thank heavens he keeps his hands off me.
00:12:27
Speaker
So, but on the other hand, I had such a sense of, um, uh, Well, I paid attention to things. So when my brother and sister had flashcards, you know, three plus two equals five, my mom would have me drill them. And I thought, why just sit you know, listening? Why don't I pay attention?
00:12:51
Speaker
So I actually skipped second grade. Okay. I was always glad I wasn't in that grade behind me. i I was a lifelong learner at a very young age. And a high achiever, it sounds like.
00:13:05
Speaker
Yeah. yeah um I was always glad I wasn't, because my maturity level was just, that added a lot to being able to so skip second grade. But ah yeah, I felt invisible my whole career.
00:13:21
Speaker
It was kind of deep down in my gut, you know, was where I felt it. um i did I did do Toastmasters and um Dale Carnegie course, where I...
00:13:35
Speaker
took initiative to um learn how to speak and and be heard, i guess. Because Dale Carnegie, they'd have you drill. It needs to fit within two or three minutes. you know And that's what I did. That's what they wanted. But other people, they'd go on for five minutes and went, wait a minute. Can I back up, Sharon? so So you mentioned, so you you were saying your dad you experienced him masturbating. Is that what I heard? Is that correct?
00:14:09
Speaker
And it was a period of your life. You were young and you were developing. ah Luckily, it didn't he didn't force himself on you or touch you in any way. But having to experience that was one of those moments of feeling invisible.
00:14:23
Speaker
Is that correct? Well, yeah, because how do you talk to your parents about, you know, what are you doing, whatever? it It turned out it was kept a secret from me for like 15 years.
00:14:40
Speaker
um So I was probably pretty close to 30 when I found out that my older sister had a baby by my dad. okay
00:14:50
Speaker
And yet I saw a lot of that kind of... um behavior going on around me and um not getting the same attention, the same treatment.
00:15:05
Speaker
I remember leaving the dinner table one night as a 15, 16 year old and they had been calling me names and kind of ridiculing me. I was called the blue elephant because you know you're always in blue jeans on the farm.
00:15:19
Speaker
And I thought, I don't even want to eat if I have to put up with this. And um you know teenagers love to eat. yeah And um so i I decided to leave and he called me back and explained to me logically that both my grandparents, grandfathers had been nearly six foot tall and that I come by my height and size legitimately through genes, you know, the DNA.
00:15:49
Speaker
And I'm just trying to get you used to it so they out there won't hurt you. a Bad. Logic. Yeah.
00:16:00
Speaker
Yeah. So, ah yeah, I, um and i I continued eating dinner because logic kind of went out, I guess, but um I never wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle.
00:16:14
Speaker
I never did much dating. I didn't find guys all that interesting because, um you know, I liked it Well, my brother, he got, there was a period where he had called me about every six weeks and we'd talk about solving the problems of
Finding a Voice in Professional Settings
00:16:29
Speaker
the world.
00:16:29
Speaker
I like deep conversations now and, and not very many people, you know, are that interested in, in good conversations. So, true so even now I'm, I'm still kind of realizing that in my business, um,
00:16:48
Speaker
i'm not I don't know how to be seen per se to to you know pay attention to what I'm saying because that's good stuff. It is good stuff. and i So i I see you, Sharon, and I am glad that you are here.
00:17:04
Speaker
I'm glad that you're able to share your story with so much courage and so much bravery because those are things that People take to their graves. And I think that that is a part of of some of the internal turmoil that traps us and harms us and spreads us toxins throughout.
00:17:22
Speaker
And for you to be able to get that out and and reclaim your story, I think is such a powerful testament and great model to so many other people who've had maybe similar experiences as you.
00:17:35
Speaker
So, yeah. Yeah. Reggie, I, um Thanksgiving, ah Black Friday it was, i was on a podcast with a lady from India. And ah she wanted to talk about feeling invisible. She said, we need to get this out and be talking about it.
00:17:55
Speaker
we We went on for a like hour and a half. And I felt like
00:18:02
Speaker
I felt like I was contributing to helping to heal the world. Yeah, you are. You absolutely are. And I, I mean, I think it took me up until maybe mid twenties, 28, maybe before I was able to verbalize,
00:18:22
Speaker
ah sexual trauma in my own life. Um, and it's, it's something that I can talk about now and I've gotten very open and vulnerable about talking about different things, but not understanding the impacts of what it did to my four year old and maybe even younger brain.
00:18:41
Speaker
and how that development turned into the behavior that I had in relationships with other people. And like, it just, it comes out in different ways for different people. But I didn't know, i felt bad. It was shame attached those things.
00:18:57
Speaker
And if I had heard this conversation at a younger age, I would have had a little bit more liberation and little bit less shame around my experience. And so I ah just appreciate you for being so open because it is healing the world.
00:19:14
Speaker
Thank you. Yeah.
Developing a Healthy Sense of Pride
00:19:15
Speaker
Yeah. I, in fact, just within that hour, I was talking with someone about how I've never, um had a healthy sense of pride.
00:19:28
Speaker
Tell me what your pride has looked like.
00:19:32
Speaker
Well, the closest I come to is I've always liked wearing good colors, you know, so, so ah even, even my little art blocks, I, I, you know, it has to level up to a certain amount of good color. And um so I, I, even when I retired, i was like 245 pounds. So i had to cover up my extra weight, you know, with how I appeared.
00:20:01
Speaker
and And colors helped me with that. And I always had oh dark hair and always felt pretty proud of my hair and my smile. Yeah, I could share my smile quite easily. But um
00:20:18
Speaker
I considered since just in the last three months, four months maybe, about perhaps being willing to be seen in a pageant. Mm-hmm.
00:20:30
Speaker
And that takes a certain amount of pride, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. I'm not sure I'm willing to, ready, ready to stand up to that. But um it definitely would be a healing thing because I found a couple of pictures on Facebook about how ah some ladies had been all dolled up to be in the pageant. And I was kind of shocked. It kind of scared me a little bit because they looked plastic. Mm-hmm.
00:20:58
Speaker
you know how many layers of makeup and is that if fake hair a real hair and how much lipstick you know and all this and i just love vulnerability and authenticity and being my my own true self yes and i i'm not sure i'm ready for it this year but maybe in the future maybe in the future and if you do i want to know about it so you got to email me let me know because that'll be something i would love to support oh that's so cool um I want to get back to kind of your career and in the trajectory of going from invisible to the queen of courage. And so you're a behavioral scientist um and you've done a lot. you're You've been a coach and then you also founded Effortless Vitality.
00:21:43
Speaker
Can you talk through that journey of of your passions from a work standpoint?
Coaching Journey Begins
00:21:49
Speaker
Well, I started coaching class the week before I retired. So um one Friday I was in coaching class, the next Friday I leaving work.
00:22:01
Speaker
And the first thing they taught us in coaching class was to define our essence statement. Well, I've gone on rename Essence Statement to a your spark or your intrinsic spark because Essence has gotten a lot of ah popularity. And what does it mean to people? But um they class we class with...
00:22:26
Speaker
um uh this document that that um some assignment and our assignment was kind of like this we we talked about what do we love to do what do we what our personal qualities like having nice hair was kind of one of probably one of the things i put down and being responsible i was a what i liked about myself and then what is our hot button and what are our aspirations and our values and Then we wrap that up into, ah ah well, along with guiding principles into a metaphor.
00:22:59
Speaker
And I think of a metaphor kind of like a parable where you're telling a a um story that can be um interpreted several different ways, depending on where you are in life. So at the end of class, at that weekend, we stood in a circle and we read to each other what our essence statement was.
00:23:22
Speaker
And as it was coming around the circle, I noticed people were kind of sniffling, like, what's going on? You know, and and and when it came my turn, nobody had ever asked me to divine my soul before.
00:23:38
Speaker
It's what it felt like. It was a precious moment. And here's what I read. i am precious jewel of wisdom. i am colorful collaborator, motivator, and learner.
00:23:52
Speaker
I am tranquil, authentic, and pure inspire. I light fires. That's what I want to do for 10% of the boomers. Wow.
00:24:04
Speaker
And that feels a lot like heaven on earth. Wow. That you're living from what is inside your invisible assets.
00:24:15
Speaker
Your your um spirit, yere talents your the things you love to do People can't see that. I can't see what Reggie's good at, but he knows what he's good at because it's inside.
00:24:29
Speaker
Mm-hmm. At Boeing, we had this term, original equipment manufacturer. God put original equipment inside of us that he wants us to be happy and have the joy of sharing it with others.
00:24:46
Speaker
and And you and I are doing that today. Yes. Oh, wow. Where did that spark happen for you? Was it in that class? Was it in that course? Where did you go from...
00:24:58
Speaker
ah feeling the invisibility to knowing that you had this magic inside of you that you needed to share and help the world with? Well, kind I've probably invested 10 to 20,000 in courses that I've taken.
00:25:16
Speaker
And even though I knew that I wanted to share with people about their essence, I did not have the courage to go that far. I, you know, I, I could talk about purpose with you because potential as a teenager, I, you're like, what's my potential?
00:25:34
Speaker
What's, what's your potential? You know, and potential is kind of one of those things you need to have a return on your investment, you know? And, um and yet it also has to bloom someplace. Somebody has to draw it out of you kind of, or you see your own light.
00:25:49
Speaker
But um yeah, I, I, am ah ah and during coaching class, one of the things that was in our ah phrase that was in our manual was this this phrase, effortless vitality.
00:26:04
Speaker
And i that kind of jumped out at me. I like that term a lot because that to me is kind of like ah the energy that comes when you're in the flow or the energy of a river fall rolling down the hill, you know, and it just, you don't have to force it. It's going to show up, you know?
00:26:24
Speaker
And so the stimulating and energizing your, everybody's potential and, and energy is just something that is, would be so rewarding to me. And I think this world is so hungry for it that now to help heal the world. Yeah.
00:26:45
Speaker
you You said something interesting that I want to ah come back to um because, because being invisible is, and and not being seen. um And I, and I think part of that is actually not being seen. And then another part of that is not sensing when we are seeing,
00:27:03
Speaker
And you said that you needed help or sometimes people need help to see their own light. And was that something that was illuminated for you? Was there people in your life that showed you this light or was it you finding it yourself?
00:27:22
Speaker
Well... The ah one one thing that happened um and that kind of brings that to mind is before I left here for Tampa, um just that Sunday before, I had ah lunch after church with my uncle.
00:27:41
Speaker
And I dared to share with him our family secret. And actually said, actually told me, you know, that he had seen some weirdness going on and why, you know, just like, why would my dad ridicule me when he's trying to help me not be hurt? yeah Well, stuff like that. And, and outside the restaurant, he gave me a big hug.
00:28:11
Speaker
And I said, this is the real kind, right? He died that week.
00:28:18
Speaker
But to have that before he died was is real significant to me. yeah So, yeah, he he had a trucking business that ah drove down to California every week, twice a week, I think. And there was a windstorm and his truck landed in the ditch and and he died. oh man.
00:28:40
Speaker
So, but I, it was through a couple more of the classes that I got the courage to go all the way to to help, want to help people live from their inner spark, that life can be
Mission to Impact with Love
00:28:56
Speaker
joyful. And even, um,
00:28:58
Speaker
ah You and I are are expanding our business. And one of the first things that um Jackson had asked of me was, what would it feel like to um reach 10% of the boomers?
00:29:13
Speaker
ah what what i think, no, it was more like, what would it cost me? and the And the thing that came to mind was lot of love. It would cost me to love my world in a huge way.
00:29:28
Speaker
And um and then along the way, loving myself. True. you know the whole i i host a group of every wednesday this morning i had a group online in our loneliness toresilience community And we, in fact, our topic was three critical points about feeling unheard and um how people act out when they're not heard or how people um lose their self-esteem or resilience when they're not heard.
00:30:05
Speaker
And i um I know i went several times through life, you know, especially in my early 20s and 30s. Well, if you really knew me, you wouldn't love me because, you know, i didn't love myself that much.
00:30:21
Speaker
I, yeah. So where... where were The world is talking about mental health and mental strength and um that like the trauma. In fact, I have a book I got from the library about feelings that are unprocessed from trauma never die. Yeah.
00:30:43
Speaker
In your body. Right. and And we've talked about that on our loneliness group because um we've had a couple guests that that had become alcoholics or ah severely addicted.
00:30:57
Speaker
And um that trauma from their parents, you know, our parents were broken. And that was the first step, in fact, is stopping to judge ourselves. Yeah.
00:31:13
Speaker
um I started being a lot better at losing weight when I, when I stopped, when I started telling Sharon, she's doing the best she knows how. o Yes.
00:31:26
Speaker
Yes. Meeting yourself and accepting yourself. And then saying, you know, your parents were doing the best they knew how everybody yeah is kind of doing the best they know how. Yeah.
00:31:39
Speaker
With the resources and the knowledge that they have, it's that's what we're doing. like like I think many people think that there are... And there are some some people who intentionally create ill will to other people, but for the most part, people are...
00:31:55
Speaker
are living and behaving the best way they know how with the resources and knowledge is that that they have. And sometimes that's harmful to other people. But giving them grace through that and understanding that we're human and we're learning and evolving allows for that healing to take place and to not take those things as personal and then get to finding that same amount of grace for ourselves, which is where the healing expedites.
00:32:20
Speaker
Yeah, very much so. Yeah. So I'm, I'm, um, every month or two, I'm, it seems like I'm going deeper into, well, in fact, was it last Friday? I think as I was going to sleep, I, I felt a real warm spot just, um, below my wishbone and, and it felt like God loving me right there. And, and I said, well, I want to love me like God loves me. Cause when people have been in, uh,
00:32:52
Speaker
near-death experiences, they often talk about how you can practically cut the love in the air. It's thick.
00:33:03
Speaker
And can can you teach me how to love me that way? You know? Yes, yes. You have inspired me. And I think that like the the mission that you're on, I mean, you're you are doing it and you're accomplishing and you're impacting much more than baby boomers.
00:33:21
Speaker
But I want to come back to that question that you thought it was, but what would it feel like? What does the world look like? And what do you feel internally when you impact 10% of the baby boomers and see the impact of that on the world?
00:33:38
Speaker
Oh, it's going to be tons of people smiling, tons of people doing kindness, tons of people helping each other out.
00:33:50
Speaker
The whole... the harmony that would be in the world and in the air of we're just taking care of each other. Life is gorgeous. as beautiful. It's refreshing and fulfilling and satisfying and contentment.
00:34:07
Speaker
Yeah, all of that. I love it. i love it. that ah I can see it. And you're you're exuding it as you speak. And i so I think like you're getting inklings of it along the way. And I can see that happening right now for you.
00:34:22
Speaker
i want to i want to get back to some vulnerability and seeing how that has impacted your life. ah Can you speak to a time where your vulnerability was perceived as a good thing or a bad thing ah in relationship and how that impacted your relationships, whether personal or professional? um don't think I can. i I've always kind of left vulnerability as i'll I'll put it out there, see what happens, and oh well if they if they don't respond.
00:34:57
Speaker
um And we we have talked a fair amount in our loneliness group about um vulnerability. In fact, one of my friends, he's, I knew him when I was in high school. um And he started coming to the loneliness group.
00:35:15
Speaker
And so he was kind of complaining to me one day about, oh, you know, you go to church and say, hi, how are you? I'm fine. Hi, how are you? I'm fine. How are you? I'm fine. And you really don't know anything more than you did before.
00:35:28
Speaker
And so I challenged him with if you told your truth, cause he was struggling, his wife had died about three years before this. Uh, I knew, i knew his wife. And in fact, I, I dated her, his, her sister, ah with her double data with her sister. And,
00:35:50
Speaker
um So he he actually, I guess the next day or so, was in a men's prayer group and he asked for prayer. That was a start of being authentic, being genuine with for himself.
00:36:06
Speaker
And then it seemed like another day or two went by and his pastor suggested he um talk to a counselor or coach. And um he's made some changes since then, in fact.
00:36:19
Speaker
And it's no longer, high how are you? But you tell, he was sad. he was kind of on the version depression, maybe be even, because... um You know, his his he has a couple of sons, but they're in other states. And and I found that ah for a lot of people, when they've left a lost a spouse, it takes about three years for that process to you know be ready for to moving on. And um so are you telling your truth is is a good way to be vulnerable?
00:36:54
Speaker
um You know, we often think, why will people think? They're not thinking. Don't worry about it. Yeah, they're not thinking about you as much as you think they are. That is that is absolutely true.
00:37:08
Speaker
Do you think there's a space for vulnerability in in corporate spaces and corporate settings? Well, you mentioned at the beginning that there's a lot of innovation that comes with vulnerability and car corporations are getting more and more ah pressure to have innovation.
00:37:26
Speaker
And um I have a friend here. In fact, he's also had a near-death experience. I haven't met him yet, but online, you know, and he teaches ah CEOs about belonging and um the the whole thing.
00:37:43
Speaker
looking for if you model the vulnerability, the humility, the um caring about each other, caring that your employees are heard, you're going to have a better crew. You're going to have more profit and less errors.
00:38:01
Speaker
And that whole belonging is like a family feeling. You've got each other's back. What a beautiful thing. I mean, talk about harmony. And It is happening in pockets around corporations.
00:38:17
Speaker
yeah In fact, there are i i read here about three years ago, not sure where my note is on that, but they were talking about ah creativity and vision and values at a corporate level.
00:38:35
Speaker
Well, a big part of your purpose is in fact your values. My value is creativity and collaboration and love and being responsible.
00:38:48
Speaker
And um I will practically die to defend that. So don't...
00:38:59
Speaker
Don't challenge me on that because i will fight for it. And um i I'm surprised when people don't put love as part of their values because isn't that what life's about? But apparently they don't know that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:14
Speaker
I think people, people have to rediscover that because that's, that's what all of this is about is love at the end of the day.
The Essence of Love and Healing
00:39:22
Speaker
it's so much love that we starting with ourselves, showing love to ourselves and then how that becomes a mirror for the love that we're able to show everyone else.
00:39:33
Speaker
And, and so, yeah, I think that is a huge one. You said one of your, Values is responsibility. define like Describe that or what does that mean to you? Okay. Okay. How I describe it is i want you to be able to take my words to the bank.
00:39:48
Speaker
Hmm. bank on, if I give but make a commitment, um I want you to count on it. One of the guys on my team at Boeing, he'd wait to answer that question. you you know If I asked him something, he he would want to figure out what I wanted to hear before he answered a question.
00:40:10
Speaker
He was like a used car salesman. Okay. Yeah, bad. And he had all kinds of health problems because of his irresponsibility. hu
00:40:25
Speaker
It was like, why why wait? There's no authenticity to him at I got you. Yeah. and And he lost his job. So I can take your word to the bank. I like that. I like that a lot.
00:40:38
Speaker
I want to hear about the Queen of Courage.
The 'Queen of Courage' Title
00:40:41
Speaker
How did she, when was she born and and what has she taught you?
00:40:48
Speaker
Well, let's see. um I named one of my podcasts ah Fresh Courage in Retirement. In fact, that that's actually the name of my book. But Fresh Courage is your time to shine in retirement.
00:41:03
Speaker
You know, but um let's see I had been asked. Well, courage kind of comes along with vulnerability, right? Absolutely. Absolutely. And um let's see.
00:41:17
Speaker
i was at a in a Forbes Riley ah perfect pitch class, and she was asking people as she was getting to know them, what were they known for? And...
00:41:28
Speaker
and um ah I had done a class about, and I was supposed to make a list of courage to be, courage to have, and courage to do And I mean, there was like 30 lines on that page that feel out.
00:41:46
Speaker
um Gosh, I'm kind of not remembering exactly where that, but curiosity and courage goes along with purpose and possibilities. But I had a but i a somebody found me online in Brazil and he wanted, he was hosting a class for people that were learning English and the people in the class were around 45 ish.
00:42:16
Speaker
And um he didn't care what we talked about. they just wanted to hear English being spoken, you know? And ah so at first, my first presentation was I was focused on retirement. So,
00:42:27
Speaker
I said, since you have parents that are coming behind you, this message is kind of more for them on how you can help them get ready for retirement. But they liked my presentation asked me to come back again.
00:42:41
Speaker
So the second time i I talked about this courage to be, do, and have. In fact, I started holding up my little art blocks and i was putting them in you know words wisdom in these art blocks and sewing them.
00:42:56
Speaker
and um So after i did my second speech with them, just them learning English, the Courage ah talk was the most successful one they'd ever had. They they liked me talking to them, you know?
00:43:14
Speaker
So that's kind of nothing consequential about that. But so when I went to Forbes writing class, ah so why I well, people know me for my, oh, oh, that's right. I remember now.
00:43:27
Speaker
When I was doing podcasts, I started asking, I decided I wanted to have somebody on my podcast that was could talk to us about courage.
00:43:38
Speaker
And I must have asked eight or 10 people, who do you know that could talk on my show about courage? I was shocked at how many times I had to ask people, don't you know somebody that's that's courageous and can talk about it?
00:43:54
Speaker
Well, when we finally found somebody, um he was, um well, I had lunch with him ah um before Thanksgiving. He's he's like a 92 now, I guess.
00:44:07
Speaker
He had been a a minister. He had a PhD in theology, and he had been um a soccer coach for like, well, referee for like 20, 30 years. And he had actually been a guide on a railroad track.
00:44:25
Speaker
route in through Montana and he'd done tons of things. Fascinating guy. And he's always so kind and gentle. I hear him playing people compliments all the time, even while we were at lunch, you know.
00:44:38
Speaker
And so he came on my show and I decided there was a problem if we didn't have people that, does Reggie know somebody that's courageous? So that's kind of, that's where it started was with Robert Nicholson and um him being the you know facing the tough choices that life presents us and and living through them with courage and resilience and um yeah it was uh queen of courage oh in fact in fact just in the last six months i've had to
00:45:20
Speaker
pressure myself to, after all, Sharon, you're the queen of courage. Do not be fearful. oh Oh, that's another thing. When I moved down to Tampa, Florida, my friends here had said, well, you know before you get homesick and turn around and come back, ah give yourself six months.
00:45:38
Speaker
That's where it really started. Because in Florida, i after three months, I thought, I got this. This is no problem by the fourth month. um I was hitting the wall. You're feeling it. This, this is serious.
00:45:52
Speaker
Yeah. I, I wasn't thinking about going home cause I'm not a failure, but, but I, for some reason I got out my concordance, my Bible concordance. And I, somehow the word courage came to me. Maybe, maybe that will help me, you know, get through this tough time. and and i found eight or ten verses in Joshua's chapters one and two.
00:46:19
Speaker
ah Do not be afraid. be a Be courageous. Be of good courage. Do not be afraid. Well, recently I said, okay, how many versions of do not be afraid in?
00:46:30
Speaker
Oh, about 337.
00:46:35
Speaker
And that's when I started stomping my foot, Reggie, and saying I refuse to live my life based on fear. Wow. Thank you for that. That is powerful.
00:46:48
Speaker
And I love, well I love the courage that you've had to to be where you are today. Well, and I, sometimes I was imagining a stop sign about four inches from my nose to get myself to stop worrying, stop fearing, but to choose faith and courage.
00:47:09
Speaker
Wow. That is, that is huge. I want, so. You said a lot of great things that I want to tap into. One is so much. I want to ask about what does failure mean if you were to be a failure?
00:47:25
Speaker
And what would that mean about you if you were to fail, if you had come back after four months or if you reached 9% of the boomers or what does that look like? and And how do you feel if that were to be the the reality of things?
00:47:43
Speaker
um Actually, that's not on my radar. um Because I've said many times, both on my ah Instagram, Queen of Courage, and on my loneliness group, um I'm the one that stops me.
00:48:02
Speaker
And i have, there's not a bone in my body that's, well, I get a little tired once in a while. But um and Jackson has been encouraging me. How's your effortless vitality, Sharon?
00:48:15
Speaker
Oh, what?
00:48:19
Speaker
But two to allow myself to find my joy. and happiness and harmony ah in my life um and to back off and let other people help me is kind of a tough lesson when you've been your sole supporter. You know, I put myself through college and I got a master's program, a degree and all that. i I just, I'm responsible and I'm diligent.
00:48:48
Speaker
Um, And besides, there's nothing else tugging at my, you know, come on, Shane, let's go do this. Well, I would like to go to hu um Holland and New Zealand and Greece, maybe. Yeah.
00:49:03
Speaker
Some beautiful places. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I like that. And you're focused on on achieving and getting the thing done. and And when you set your mind to something and you've written it down and you have you've followed your courage and your faith, um you will absolutely accomplish anything it is that you set your mind to. So um you're inspiring. And I think that there is a lot of wisdom that you possess that could help me. And again, like I think it's extending way beyond boomers because of of your life experience.
00:49:34
Speaker
And I'm just curious if there is ah a professional, a young person, I'm 33 years old. What advice would you give me as I continue my life, my career, um as I navigate, whether it be more courage, more vulnerability, more love? what What advice would you give? Maybe two or three nuggets.
00:49:55
Speaker
Well, I think you've probably heard the term, ah let your feet follow your heart. And I know a time or two, I didn't do that. I didn't have the courage. reach I lived on my credit cards for six, eight months, and boy, that was a deep hole to dig out of.
00:50:14
Speaker
um But i often in the past have used this line by Thomas Wolfe. um If one has a talent and fails to use it, one has failed.
00:50:29
Speaker
If one has a talent and partially uses it One has partially failed. If one has a talent and finds somehow to use the whole of it, they have gloriously succeeded and won a satisfaction few people ever know.
00:50:49
Speaker
Beautiful. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. wow wow Thank you for that. I think i can carry, carry a lot of this with me for years and years.
00:51:00
Speaker
I'm curious before it's all said and done, what is one of the bucket list things that you want to do?
00:51:07
Speaker
Well, New Zealand for some reason is is on my list. um And Holland, I love tulips. because I can see that. Yeah. yeah Yeah. I've got a picture here. Yeah.
00:51:19
Speaker
um ah I would like to go. Well, in fact, I was looking at a Rhodes Scholar travel thing a couple nights ago. And because I'm a lifelong learner, Rhodes Scholar is definitely a way to go. But I would love to travel with some people that I can...
00:51:40
Speaker
you know, fall in love with, you know, and have a lifelong relationship with people that I admire. And I've been doing a lot of work.
00:51:52
Speaker
ah connecting with people on LinkedIn. I've met some amazing people. In fact, even this morning, somebody, a lady that sounded a lot like Jackson as to what she was doing for people in the world. and And waking up to the people that are ready to make an impact on the world, not just...
00:52:12
Speaker
putting money in the bank. but Money in the bank is stuck. It's not flowing. It's not ah being used. It's currency for a reason, right?
00:52:24
Speaker
Yeah. so there was I definitely would like to have a sufficient... oh One of my bucket list is having $50 and $100 bills in my wallet that I can give to people at the grocery store.
00:52:38
Speaker
Wow. Yes. That's true, sir. Or putting young ladies through college is a scholarship is another. Yeah, that's amazing.
00:52:49
Speaker
Are there ah any family members still in your life? Do you still like your biological family or are they around? i am my My mom and dad have passed on My older brother and sister have passed on.
00:53:03
Speaker
And i have two younger sisters. One is in has been really struggling with um debt for decades with rheumatoid arthritis and um And then my youngest sister, when mom was expecting me, she she thought she would have twins. So she we were going to meet Karen and Sharon.
00:53:21
Speaker
Well, Karen's my best bud. yeah She's nine years younger than me though. So yeah, um ah she's she's still working. So I don't know, I'll give her another two, three years before she retires.
00:53:36
Speaker
Nice, nice. I'm sure I have some a lot of fun planned for that time. i want I want to wrap up with a segment, ah just fill in the blank. And so I'll ask a couple of things and then you fill in the blank, okay?
00:53:49
Speaker
Okay. All Vulnerability has taught me blank.
00:53:56
Speaker
um Guts. Guts. Courage. um ah In fact, I found another um quote here. Curiosity yes
00:54:10
Speaker
is an act of courage and vulnerability. Curiosity is an act of vulnerability and courage. So curiosity keeps us young.
00:54:21
Speaker
yeah All right. Fill in the blank here. My greatest source of of strength is blank.
00:54:31
Speaker
My, my faith, I think. Uh, and, and my biggest, uh, scripture that i really rely on is nothing is impossible.
00:54:42
Speaker
Yes. Yes. That's so true. If I could offer one piece of advice to someone feeling invisible, it would be blank.
00:54:54
Speaker
Well, treasure yourself, I guess, or loving yourself. I remember sitting in a meeting with, there's about 15 of us, I guess that was, had a,
00:55:05
Speaker
appearance with um the top guy in our and our business. And I wanted so bad to ask him. you We were all asking him questions, but I thought, doesn't he have any questions for us?
00:55:20
Speaker
And I wanted to challenge him on that. And I never had the courage to do that. And ah so finding your voice is very, very important.
00:55:32
Speaker
um In the... session I led this morning, one of the ah critical points about feeling unheard is helping yourself articulate clearly what you feel think.
00:55:48
Speaker
and um think Because until you can get clear on expressing yourself, you you're not doing yourself any favors. So work on yourself is opportunity for growth. And I love personal growth.
00:56:04
Speaker
So um get sharp on articulating it and then having the courage to but speak it. Because like I did with that conversation,
00:56:17
Speaker
senior guy, I don't know if he's a president exactly, but he he was a regional president, of I guess. And um
00:56:27
Speaker
that vulnerability to dare... but There's innovation that comes from from vulnerability and courage. And um you may, you know, sometimes it's just helping to connect the dots because they need help and they need to hear your voice.
00:56:46
Speaker
And they may not know it. But a lot of people that are egocentric will never say, what do you think? Yeah, that's so true.
00:56:59
Speaker
That's so true. Oof. You just opened up another last one. Last I need help with blank. Well, yeah. the Earlier before you, I was with ah another guy and um he was asking me about having a healthy sense of pride and and i'm I'm going to need help with that. Yeah.
00:57:22
Speaker
I can't even, well, I've considered being in a pageant for senior Miss America kind of thing. And that reeks of pride and that's not like me at all. So that is going to be a uncomfortable stretch if I go that route. But um if it works out as being a good strategy um and being authentic and genuine,
00:57:46
Speaker
And I take my spark with me. but We'll do okay. Yes, yes. Well, I think whether you join the pageant or not, you are a tremendous human being. You matter just as you are.
00:58:04
Speaker
i see you. I see your greatness. I see your light. And I see you shining that on this world. And I appreciate you for that. I wonder if there's anything on your mind, any last thoughts, final thoughts that you want to leave the audience members?
00:58:18
Speaker
Well, let's reach for kindness and harmony. That is going to be a huge stretch for most of us. And, um, to to and fulfill that prayer of heaven on earth.
00:58:34
Speaker
Let's go for that. That's my biggest curiosity and possibility I'm going stretch for. Yes. Yes. Well, if people want to reach you, Sharon, how can they do that?
00:58:47
Speaker
Well, I am my i do have a website, SharonRolfe.com, but EffortlessVitality.org will get you to the same website. My book, ah Fresh Courage in Retirement, Finding Purpose, Essence, and Fulfillment is on...
00:59:04
Speaker
Amazon and it's a do it yourself process because I ask you lots of questions to help you remember where did you leave your dreams and your joy and what you love to do.
00:59:17
Speaker
um And I do have questions. offerings on the great discovery platform. My book is there and my discover your spark is there.
00:59:30
Speaker
And you're going to want to sign up for that because it's going to help you move closer and closer to what shines in you What's the intrinsic motivation that flows effortlessly from your heart?
00:59:46
Speaker
Wow, that is so beautiful. And I'm going to link that in the show notes. But Sharon, with all the things you could be doing and all the places you could be, i appreciate you being here with me embracing vulnerability.
00:59:58
Speaker
Thank you so much. You're doing a good job too, Reggie. Thank you for joining us in another episode of Vulnerability Muscle. If you've enjoyed these conversations around vulnerability, please consider leaving a review.
01:00:09
Speaker
Your feedback not only motivates us to continue to do the work that we do, but it allows other people to witness the power of vulnerability. Share your thoughts on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, or wherever you're listening from.
01:00:25
Speaker
And don't forget to spread the word. You can follow us at Vulnerability Muscle on Instagram and me personally at Reggie D. Ford across all platforms. Visit vulnerabilitymuscle.com for additional resources and support.
01:00:39
Speaker
And remember, embracing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. It is the source of your greatest strength. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but most workouts are.
01:00:49
Speaker
So keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.