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Ep 86: Batman Forever
95 Plays5 months ago
Our good buddy Vern joins us on this episode as we discuss the Joel Schumacher-directed next entry in the Batman franchise, BATMAN FOREVER. Schumacher ditches the drab grays, blacks and bizarre architecture of the Burton world for a neon-fueled nightmare vision of Gotham! Val Kilmer stars as Bruce Wayne/Batman alongside Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman and Chris O'Donnell. The Batsuit now has nipples, Batman has a sidekick, Nicole Kidman has a lady boner, Jim Carrey has the biggest bag of cocaine you can imagine, Tommy Lee Jones has an ulcer and Chris O'Donnell has no talent! Tune in for a great episode!
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Transcript
Introduction and Casual Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
Can I start with a riddle me this? If knowledge is power, for God, M.R. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. I'm Vern. This is Bad Movies. Where's people? Fuck it. All right. You were there. All right, all right. It was terrifyingly sexy.
00:00:46
Speaker
I think the bubbles have gone to my head. It's ah it's a very bubbly drink. It's a fucking hot day. Yeah. It's cold in here. The penguin would approve. Almost. Close. Those penguins eat at 35 degrees. That's only 68 in here. Well, that's like human penguin relations. I carry the one and it doesn't convert, dude. I can't do
Superhero Spectacular Theme Introduction
00:01:08
Speaker
that math. Well, welcome back, everybody to Bad Movies, Worst People. And welcome back, Vern. And the final week of our superhero spectacular. There you go. All right. Just let her do it. Yeah, that was my suggestion. Yeah, very nice. Very nice. I am so smart.
00:01:22
Speaker
So yeah, welcome back Vern. Yes, thank you for having me back. Thank you. And you chose to do this one with us, not the other one. Not Batman Returns. Oh, let the record show you have chosen to be here by your own free will. It's all on me. Your honor. Vern previously joined us for another wonderful film from the same era. Yes, but this is so much better. Oh, so much better. So much less Matthew Broderick. Yeah. This film has 100% less Matthew Broderick. This is almost, nope Matthew Broderick. Yeah. Wait, no, there is no. Yeah, there's none. Nary a reference,
Batman Forever's Cast: Jim Carrey and More
00:01:56
Speaker
I'd say. This movie that we're talking about is 1995's Batman, wait, 1997.
00:02:01
Speaker
seven No, no, 95, because it's 1995 Batman Forever, because in 1994, Jim Carrey did The Mask, Ace Ventura, and Dumb and Dumber. Bang your fucking ear. And then was like, hold on, I'm not done. Let me do Batman Forever. Yeah, that's how he stole this role from Robin Williams for the second time. Man, I want to see it. I need to travel to an alternate universe just to see that fucking movie. I might like it better if it had Robin Williams. Wait, did you not like this? I'm not a big fan of this one. All right. well Well, we'll save that, I guess. I guess. No, I was reading, I guess. This is going to be awkward.
00:02:37
Speaker
So the Riddler was supposed to be included in the original Batman 89, Robin Williams. And basically that was used as a bait and switch to get Jack Nicholson to accept to play the Joker. Oh, that I've heard. yeah And then i Tim Burton and the told Robin Williams that he would bring him back as the Riddler and the third one. I'll bring it back if you just chill. Sorry, man. That was the studio. we We figured Tim Burton is like a very emo. I mean, I mean, you know, emo character. Yeah. It's a goth kid. Emo kid is exactly where I was. Yeah. That's how we got. so that's got That's our impersonation of Tim Burton. He does. He does. But we've seen him. He does a little Charlie Brown dance. He smokes clothes. You know, I could see him doing that. The little head. Per Fae.
00:03:26
Speaker
Those are the vamp kids. Oh, that's right. That's Jim Carrey in this movie. Different kind of vamp, but he's doing it. i But ah oh, sorry, go ahead. I was going to say, I think the scariest thing is that Michael Jackson really wanted that role, too. Thank God that didn't happen. The Riddler. What? Yes. Instead, he decided to play the Diddler. Oh, they just rebooted that with Puff Daddy. Oh, I'm fired. We're not the worst people they are. Yeah. So we might be assholes, but we don't diddle. now I mean, some assholes, I diddle some assholes, but not children's assholes. Assholes shit on everybody, but sometimes assholes get fucked. But yeah, that's one of the many changes that were made to this because Tim Burton said, fuck you guys.
Gotham City and Directorial Changes
00:04:12
Speaker
Basically, Warner was like, hey, that last one, a little too dark, buddy.
00:04:15
Speaker
Let's let's bring it up a bit. Dude, talk about brighten it up. At one point, there's a gang in neon paint featuring Don the Dragon Wilson. Yep. and We talked about another episode where you you would mention he maybe it was wasn't recorded, but whatever, whatever it takes. Yes. You'd mention him being in this and I said, oh, my God, he's the guy with the skull fucking paint on his face. Yeah, and I didn't remember at the time, but then when I rewatch this, I was like, Oh, that's him. And he does like two kicks and then gets taken out of the movie. They used him, didn't they? But so, yeah, it was ah Joel Schumacher brought in. Yes. Much more bright palette all around. My least favorite Batmobile design. I agree. I agree. or run it Because you're trying to match this neon. They do. I do like parts of Gotham with like this red.
00:05:01
Speaker
like aura glow behind it. And it makes me think of like chemical plants, which is very Gotham. But then once you get all this bright tagging and like the the bright universe, I don't like that. Well, like they're using black light spray paint and there are black lights all over town. like Somehow. It's Gotham. They have a power surplus like fucking black lights. I want to see you jacking off. Is is the the city of Gotham that Tim Burton built in some desert somewhere doesn't exist anymore because this CG monstrosity Yeah, I guess, I guess not. He burnt it when he left. Good luck, asshole. No, there was another movie that took it, remember? Oh, the shadow. It was the shadow. The shadow just moved in. We finally learned that Gotham is actually New York because you have the Statue of Liberty. Except it's got Gotham painted on the ground. Yes, and it's on the ocean. It's on the ocean because that's where... It's the Statue of Limiting. That's where Riddler's Claw Island or whatever it's called. So stupid.
00:05:58
Speaker
You know, just like the Riddler with claws, question mark. um But there were other people that were supposed to be on this if it was Tim
Casting Choices and Character Dynamics
00:06:05
Speaker
Burton. So you guys remember Billy Dee Williams being Harvey Dent. Harvey Dent. Yeah, I was going to say he played Harvey Dent in 89 because he was promised that he would be playing Two-Face in the third movie. Makes perfect sense, because I mean, why would Billy Dee do that movie? That's small of a role. Yeah. And I guess they had to pay him a bunch of money to not cast him. the Great to be paid to not be in it. Joel Schumacher was like, look, no black people were paying him off well because, you know, who else was supposed to be in this movie? Oh, ah Marlon Wayans, Marlon Wayans. And he also got paid to not be in it, right? Because he had already done costume fittings and everything like he was supposed to be Robin, so they had to pay out his contract. I might know this from you because you just re you rewatched all these not too long ago. I feel like I know that because of you.
00:06:48
Speaker
Maybe. so I I think with Val Kilmer and Marlon, I don't know how the humor would transpise, because Chris O'Donnell is very dry and so is Val Kilmer in this movie. Dry is a really nice way to say made out of cardboard. I was going to say, you say dry, I say boring is sin. We were watching this and I told Whitney, I think the cardboard cutout of Baby Billy at Jack's house is a better actor than Chris O'Donnell. Yeah, you're not wrong. He's always acting like he's happy.
00:07:20
Speaker
That's just some of the changes. Hey, you know who else was supposed to who would have played Chase Meridian? Rene Russo. Yeah. Much fucking better. Yeah. I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't like Nicole Kidman. You want to talk about. You want to talk about fucking cardboard. The one piece of credit I will give Nicole Kidman. She got away from Tom Cruise. Well, that. So two pieces of credit. Two pieces of credit. She can hide her Australian accent. Yeah. Because she sounds like an American. She does. She doesn't sound like Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah. So she is thirsty as fuck right out of this movie. I forgot. I'm like, I'm watching a kid's movie. Yeah, she just comes for it straight away. Yeah. Soaking them socks. Yeah, this movie starts and she's at the whatever's going on, the bank robbery because she's like Batman is going to be there. I'm sucking them, dude. I'm sucking. Oh, yeah, that's what she was. It's those bat nipples. They just turned the girls on. It's too bad there's black lights everywhere. You're going to see a snail. There's is this the first suit?
00:08:17
Speaker
I would think about it. kind of funny did he visualize it was like oh man goodness like she's like It's like the slurm like wom from Futurama just going around town. All right, sorry wife. You're right. I think you were asking if this was the first one that had the bat nipples. and Yes. Yes, it is. I think is the first one with the bat thong. ah You're welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Well, like, no, when he at the very very I'm going to jump ahead because we don't care. Yeah, he does like the putting on of that prototype suit and he does a little spin and someone must be holding his cape up because it is just cheek like leather cheeks in a fucking rubber thong. Mm hmm. I didn't know that. Yeah, there's like the black rubber that's over like the like slightly less black rubber. Yeah, there's a right up his ass crack. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. Well, don't worry. We'll just watch Batman and Robin. There's more nipple in that. Yeah. And nipples are just round. Those nipples have like ariola and nipple. Uh huh. They got the whole thing.
00:09:17
Speaker
But despite all of our mocking, this movie was very
Financial Success and Jim Carrey's Rise
00:09:21
Speaker
successful. How so? i How much so? Cost about and estimated about one hundred million dollars. North America, it made one eighty four. But worldwide, it made three thirty six. You did all right. and Number one film of the year. First time Jim Carrey had a number one film of the year. Really? This is the one. Yep. That's a bummer. Well, I mean, because what I like him in this, don't get me wrong, but he's done so much right. Right. Right. You had mentioned before this, Ace Ventura for starring roles. Yeah. That's pretty much it before this, right? No, Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber and was dumb number before Mask are all the same, all 94. Are they? Jesus. that's a fucking yeah And then he did this. So I mean, like in a year and a half, he did four banger movies. That's why they wanted him because he was at the top on top of the world. It's also why Tommy Lee Jones hated him.
00:10:03
Speaker
Yeah. to hear about Oh, yes. I have a I have an exact quote. I cannot sanction your buffoonery. And i so I was watching behind the scenes interviews and Val Kilmer said like, hey, there were some rumors and this is like promo stuff from back then. So it's all like but saying nice stuff. He's like, there were some like rumors that I didn't like Jim Carrey. And I just thought it was kind of funny. So Men in Black hadn't come out yet. No. Oh, OK. Then it doesn't work because he's like he's like, who could like who couldn't like Jim Carrey? You'd have to be an alien. And I was like, Jim Carrey, I'd be a fucking alien. I was like, ah Val Kilmer, I think, just called out Tommy Lee Jones. Well, the story that I heard and was from Jim Carrey on the Norm McDonald show, where he said that he had heard that Tommy Lee Jones didn't like him. And then he saw him in a restaurant. And when he walked up to him and hugged him, Tommy Lee Jones is like, I hate you. I really don't like you.
00:10:56
Speaker
And he's like, what's the problem? And in that line, I cannot sanction your buffoonery, which is a bold statement from coming from the guy that in this movie that does this performance, you like do faces is just office. He felt like he was trying to outdo it. I think that's what he wanted. He's like, I'll be the weirdo and you play it like a little bit more smart and intelligent. and He's like, oh, no.
Behind-the-Scenes Insights: Cast and Crew
00:11:16
Speaker
No. So Donald mentioned something to during an interview again when they were talking about Jim Carrey. He's like, Some people like maybe felt like he was trying to upstage them and done it us I think that comes down to that too. Yeah. Maybe Tommy Lee Jones. But Tommy Lee Jones is an actor because in his short segment of interview, he had about two seconds in this thing. He was just like, well, I never thought I'd be in a comic book movie, but here I am yeah doing a comic book movie. And that was that was his like entire. And it wasn't the last one he did either. He was also in Captain America, the first Avenger. He was. Oh, yeah, that's right. Right. He's the one that throws the fake grenade. the Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:49
Speaker
Uh, OK, yes. So Joel Schumacher directed this. R.I.P., by the way. Oh, yeah. ah But he was also born the same year Batman came out. Oh, really? 1939. Oh, so he was in his fifties when this movie was made. Wow. Yeah, that's right. um Elfman not back for the score. No, no, no. Yeah. I half-assed because I knew by listening it wasn't. Yeah, you could tell. Elliot Goldenthal. ah definite There was definitely like... Or like, Braun Stahl. Cartoon fully worked too. yeah yeah oh god All that non-diegetic sounds. That's a lot.
00:12:25
Speaker
That's their version of bang pow boom, right? Yeah, but this guy hate all of it this guy who did the music It's like he wanted it's like Schumacher wanted to be the Adam West like I've heard people say that it's sort of like this is the 90s camp version of the 60s Batman like that was that camp This is what 90s camp was sense. This is Bob Kane's favorite version. Okay, the creator of Batman. Yeah Oh and his uh, his wife's in the movie. She's a gossip girdie. Oh, she's the one that's yellow. You know, it's funny. I thought it was I thought that I recognized her. She's in Batman Returns. Yes. Is Gothamite number four. She just appears in the scene. Yeah. She's one of the ones. It's like, look, I think she's even given the line that it's like a prince is like a burn and new a frog. turned up Yeah, for the penguin. You're pretty sure that's her. And then so, yeah, it's kind of funny. She just and then she becomes named in this one and and on. yeah Yeah. Well, I say on like there's more than just one after this. I guess they both showed up to set. He's like putting my wife in the film. Yeah. And it worked. Got you nothing. um But this guy, Elliot Goldenthal, um I mean, he did music for some movies that I like. I don't know if I can't think off the top of my head if the music's good, but he did Demolition Man, which came up yesterday because the writer of Batman Returns wrote Demolition Man.
00:13:40
Speaker
Uh, he did heat time to kill and sphere, which I don't really like sphere, but he so the the other ones you mentioned I like, but like you just said, I can't remember if the score is anything. Yeah, he has a good score. I know that. Okay. That's part of the whole thing. Also, Vel Kilmer was filming this like concurrently with heat. I guess because there's so many characters going on in heat, there was probably a lot of downtime. It's where he broke the on-screen record for reload time for a weapon. Oh, yeah. And he held that until fucking Bradley Cooper and A-Team broke it. For what? On-screen reloads for a weapon. Yeah. Like, he it was the fastest that anyone had ever done it. There was fucking ah instructors in the military, like, if you can't do it as fast as this guy, get the fuck out. Okay. This is an actor nailing this. So yeah. Val just kind of a badass. I love Val. I love Val. And you might recognize, might've recognized the name of the special effects, makeup effects guy, Rick Baker. Ricky Baker? No, not that. Oh, dang it. Not Ricky Baker. I said it. I was like, it's a Ricky.
00:14:40
Speaker
ah Give me some works. The New Hope okay Empire Strikes Back. Oh, I've heard of that. Anything else? He also did King Kong from 76, Altered States, The Howling, American Werewolf in London, Video Drome, The Frighteners, The Ring. You're really embarrassing him now. all Those are all ones that have just outstanding effects on them. And he replaced Stan Winston from the previous yeah, and I don't did Stan Winston do all the effects on returns You know I did we noticed that the credit specifically said the penguin makeup and effects done by Stan Winston Mm-hmm. Oh, I remember what I was saying. I don't there's not a lot of makeup in this. There's Tommy Lee Jones Yeah, but I mean yeah, I mean I guess the gang the gang that's all painted up and stuff But there's not a lot like effects makeup barely painted up They got a fucking mask that's half black half red and a bunch of pierces Oh, not those guys. The Don Wilson gang. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The neon gang. Well, that's just face paint. Neon gang. But I mean, this the this two face looks stupid, but also like it's not Rick Baker's fault. Right. This is what they wanted. It's the feel. It looks good. The feel of the universe. Yeah. It's a cartoony version. Yeah.
00:15:45
Speaker
Very like, I mean, cartoony, the Batman animated series looked more like a guy who had his face burned off by acid. But we can put that on a pedestal because that is some of the best Batman you're going to get. Like it had no business being that good and that adult, but it was awesome. Yeah, that's a good show. Very good show. Guess who voices the Joker in that show? Mark
Robin's Casting and Character Evolution
00:16:04
Speaker
Hamill. Mark Hamill. Yeah. I think I knew that. You probably did. I mean, it's like one of his favorite things he did. He also did in a couple of the Arkham games, too. OK. Yeah. I mean, he's got one of the if not best Joker voice. Mm hmm. I think it might be my favorite. Yeah. He was he was on the Arrowverse Flash show as a trickster, the trickster. And he was just doing his Joker voice. I was just going to say that's what I remember. I think that's when I learned it. Yes, he did the trickster. And I mean, it's the exact Joker voice, but that's fine because the Joker wasn't on that. And I like hearing it, so bring it on. ah You know who else turned down the role for Robin? Turn down for what? Turn it down for what? Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, man. What a genius. He dodged a bullet. What a genius. All the people who he turned it down once Tim Burton left because he didn't like Joel Schumacher's direction of going bright and crazy. Yeah. And then other people who tried out were Ewan McGregor and Jude Law, people who were like of age to be Robin. Yeah. How old do you think Chris O'Donnell was playing Robin? We're like 25. No. I was going to say 22. I was off a little bit earlier because I was thinking 97 when I told you 35. Holy crap. In my hat. 1970. And he's playing as 16 year olds? He's under 18 because that part where He's like, I don't want to go into the system. I'm like, you are fucking 94. He looks like a girl from the neon gang. And she's like, doesn't Batman ever kiss the girls? Like not when she's 15. And the roommate was like, well, he's like 16. Now it's like, nope. 35. 35. Wow.
00:17:34
Speaker
Fucking Christ. Yeah. And we discussed during our back in return a discount to because you said some big names, dude. Ewan McGregor, Jude Law. Well, they already had done what at the time. Those guys were nothing either. And ninety five. OK. I mean, Trainspotting hadn't even come out. So America didn't know who Ewan McGregor was. And Jude Law was just some gorgeous British dude. Yeah, they both were. Well, I guess Ewan McGregor is not British, but, you know, UK. Yeah, same thing. What is it? Oh, isn't he Scottish or one of the Scottish? I want to say, you know what? Correct me. um Now I really want to watch. your plane mother I've got it. I know. Let's watch it. But Chris O'Donnell is the only one I wrote down any of the stuff he was in because I was like, I'm not writing down these other people. We know that we must get tears, three musketeers. That's all I knew. That's all we need to know. like A circle of friends, I think.
00:18:22
Speaker
ah 300 and some odd episodes of NCIS. Yeah. That's that's all he's doing now. Yeah. Yeah. Whitney was like, you know who Chris O'Donnell is? And I was like, no, I don't know anything he was in except for three months ago. She's like, NCIS. I was like, OK. I've never seen a single episode of any iteration. I haven't either. But like that like their previews are just burnt into my brain. They're just shoving each other and pulling their glasses down all friendly like. And he was in before this, he was in Son of a Woman. And he also did a movie, I think it right after this, called Vertical Limit, which I have not seen. Oh, but I really want to now. That's not bad. I don't know if it holds up because I'm talking about watching it when it was on standard definition DVD. Yeah. And I really liked it then.
00:19:04
Speaker
But it may not hold up. I saw it who was in it. Bill Paxton, right? Scott Glenn, who was... I love Scott Glenn. Yeah, not David Carradine. Urban cowboy, Scott Glenn. I always, just every time I see him, I'm like, David... Nope, nope. But Scott Glenn, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney, Tamora Morrison. Fucking Tams. So I kind of want to watch that now. All right. Put it on the list, man. We'll watch that in Cliffhanger. Oh, Cliff Hanger. With John, let's go. I saw a really great meme with Cliff Hanger, but it was the Mentos commercial with the girl falling and it's hilarious. Send me that. You watch Cliff Hanger and you watch Ace Ventura 2 so you can get the scene back to back. It's a shot for shot, bro.
00:19:46
Speaker
But we did mention the non Danny Elfman, you know what they did in the trailers for this? They used the Danny Elfman Batman music. Of course you voted, right? Like it's yours? Yeah, it's not in this. It's not in the movie. They have a different Batman theme. I'm surprised they didn't put Michael Keaton's face in the trailer. Gotcha. It's Val Kiliman. Sorry. Val is trying to do a little Keaton. Like he's trying his best to be that, like I don't know, to turn the body and kind of have a little quip to the women. Try firemen. Let's take off. It's the car, right? Chicks dig the car. That right there, I was like, now you make me miss Michael Keaton. Yeah. Make it your own, dude. Yeah. One other person who was considered for Robin, Mr. Marcus Wahlberg. Oh, bro. I don't know the name of Marcus, but. I'm not famous. I'm trying to find... This one's for my brother. This one's for my mother. This one's for my father. Two-faced, two-faced bitches. I would have preferred that. Yeah, except for he would have just gone out and started beating up Don Wilson. Maybe. All right, wipe that face paint off. I can't tell what color you are. Why didn't Schumacher like that? Oh, you white motherfuckers can leave. I don't know. Because he was Marky Mark. He was doing something at night before he was a real actor, I guess. He didn't know he was racist yet. The story hadn't come out. Oh.
00:20:56
Speaker
But to get into this movie, it starts out with a ah thought
Nostalgia and Product Tie-ins
00:21:00
Speaker
of a joke. We have ah Michael Goff back playing Alfred, but we will continue to do Michael Caine instead. Yes, absolutely. Michael Caine is our Alfred. He's a superior Alfred by far. And it starts out with ah go ka Michael Michael Caine, got it. Michael Caine. It starts out with, ah did you at least take a sandwich with you, sir? I wanted him to be just like puns all day, like, no, no sandwich, wrap up some bat tatooie. I'll take it to go. I remember the scene being in McDonald's commercials. Oh, yeah. Because he's like, i'll drive I'll hit the drive thru. And we were joking about it when he said that. I was like, yeah. And then it cuts to him with McDonald's and he's got one of those little souvenir cups. And he's like, look, this cup has my face on it and you can get one right now at McDonald's. I have all four of those. but steve i had I had them. I definitely had them. I had these and I had the Batman and Robin one. ones, but they're like the plastic ones with the printing. And so after the years of being washed, because I'm a little kid, I'm like, I'm using Batman cups all the time. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Though they there's there were no more images fade away. Yeah. Yeah. I have those two. Hold on. Although I think the hold on to the actually the Batman Forever ones were the glass ones that had the etching. Right. Yes. Yeah. So you can watch those. I think my parents just probably got rid of those. I'm sure they did. There's he's in college. Get rid of him before he remembers. He's not going to want to play with childish things.
00:22:20
Speaker
I don't think they knew their son. Yeah. Yeah. They sold my fucking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stuff out of the yard sale for like 20 bucks. I was like, Oh, that lair used is worth like 200 bucks. What are you doing? You spent more than 20 bucks on it. Exactly. It's a yard sale. You know, they put that shit out there and someone was like, I'll give you 35 cents. Give you 20 for everything done off my lawn. This is a dollar. We make it 45 cents. I need to win fucking yard sales. But to face Tommy Lee Jones is robbing a bank because it's the second anniversary of Batman catching him off screen adventures, which I do and appreciate, actually. Yeah, because unlike right now, like and I do it mostly enjoy the Marvel movies. They're more hit and miss now, but it's always like you've seen everything. There are no off screen adventures.
00:23:09
Speaker
And I appreciate an off-screen adventure. Yeah, we're getting the story moving. When it's not needed. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I don't need an off-screen adventure that's important to the story. Yeah, not everyone needs an origin story in the film. Yeah, exactly. We get him getting the acid splashed on his face later on in the movie. And that's just like a... Which makes me laugh because Batman just jumps out of the crowd. Did nobody see Batman sitting in the crowd? Right. Still, they won't notice you. He's got the knight. He's got a fucking like, ah what is it, Raphael, trench coat and fucking fedora on. It's more you is Gotham. So in the courtrooms, they always keep the lights off in one corner, just in case.
Character Analysis: Chase Meridian and More
00:23:46
Speaker
like it seen I'm glad you thought so too, because then he jumped like, where were you sitting? Did he jump out of the audience? and I thought it was from behind the jury.
00:23:55
Speaker
and ah oh Maybe he was the jury. I was juror 12 the whole time. I was Judge Judy executioner. There was never an old lady, me the whole time. Oh, that's where Two-Face gets the idea later in this movie. And then we have Commissioner Gordon still being played by Pat Hingle. Carryover, for another carryover from the last two films and Nicole Kidman playing Chase Meridian. She is dropping some fucking just like cereal box psych. She's like, oh, a psychosy like this makes you do this and his Achilles heel could be this and like, dude. And they're like back and forth thing is supposed to be like, look, he's smart, too. And it's like, this is all I could guess this.
00:24:35
Speaker
Yeah. These are things I understood as a child. yeah He's acting, he's acting out and being insane. There must be something wrong with him. That's basically what they say. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, obviously you got it. Yeah. Her characters just always felt very forced to me. Like she came out of nowhere. Here she is and what she really do. Yeah. And I think that's part of my problem with Nicole Kidman in general is like she always she plays things when she's supposed to be the sex pot, which is most of the time she's always like that old Hollywood sex pot kind of thing. And it just feels so like not natural for anything from after 1965.
00:25:10
Speaker
Yeah, I don't buy it. Yeah, we do get it. Well, it's later in the movie, but we do get a little just like the last one, a little bit of of ah talking about this, the prequel or the one before, I guess, because we have no mention of penguin. There's no mention of anything that happened in the last one, except maybe I should be wearing a rubber cat suit and have a whip. Yeah. Catwoman. Yeah. You know what they are still forgetting because they're still allowing fucking clowns in this fucking city because they have a goddamn circus. We said while we were recording Batman Returns, Vern, that they should be outlawing clowns. And maybe even masks. Especially circuses, yeah. like Maybe even Gotham, you just have no masks. Well, I mean, and obviously, you know, you outlaw masks. Only the bad guys are wearing masks. Yeah. Like they do with guns, right? But as soon as you see so many masks, you're like, well, that's a bad guy. But, yeah, outlaw a circus, you just can't, you don't have a way to smuggle it in villains. And then when you see a clown, you go, that's a bad guy. Exactly. One thing I have to say about the circus that I thought was weird is how come a circus is that they're like Gotham News Network? Before anything happens, they're just broadcasting to circus. Is their news day that slow in Gotham? That's all they have to show. It's Gotham. Yeah, there is someone around doing something terrible. Right? Right now. They wanted to bring joy for once and not mayhem and murder. It's positive news and then it wasn't. I was going to say, well, good luck on that. Yeah, that's awesome. That's why they were covering it because the newscasters know, look, we should have outlawed clowns, but that bill didn't pass. Here's what we're going to follow all the clowns in the country. Right. So you go town to town, clown to clown. We're going to broadcast the circus because some shit's going to go down and it's sweeps week. Our ratings need to go up. I saw a guy with a face paint. I followed him. Look what happened. Gold dynamite.
00:26:55
Speaker
I like so Batman goes down to stop the robbery and Too Faced has these guys just light up this elevator. I'm like, I think Batman is just standing in the elevator. Right. I was like, first time even going to take the elevator. But well, I guess thats maybe that's the only way up and down. because That was my first thought. I was like, maybe it's not in that elevator. yeah I was like, oh, wait. Yeah, he is. He's hiding up top. Uh, Joel Schumacher wants this to be so bright. He just put neon tubes on everybody's guns. Yep. Like everybody's got this barrel drum or this drum clip and it's just got a neon little fucking stick on it. Well, and one of the guys who did, one of the lighting guys, I think it was, or maybe it was a producer, I think it was a lighting guy, I was talking about how proud they were of like the light in this because
00:27:33
Speaker
Like he wanted it to be brightly lit. He wanted to be this neon soaked thing, which is OK. It works for the characters that are in this, like the villains. But yeah they were so proud of the fact that like most of the lights, like some of our lights were even on camera because a lot of the light comes from stuff you see. The the goons holding the red lights at the circus, stuff like that. The guy was like, you can't even tell that our lights are in the shot. and I'm like, let's not. It's not professional. Yeah. Right. Are you bragging? Your tone sounds braggy, but your news is not. But yeah, so he ah he takes out these goons. One of them, he has like a force lightning collar or something. I don't know what he does. And he shows that I like what he does. I do like that he just sidesteps that one dude. The dude just charges him like fucking. ah You think there's going to be this big throw down and he's just like, no, that's crazy. This movie. Yeah, they say every movie needs one. This has two. Yeah.
00:28:23
Speaker
Because later on, there's the Indiana Jones scene, but with a gun where the guy does all the kicking and punching and swirling and he just kicks him in the face. Isn't that from 89 Batman, where there was somebody that pulled out like two swords and started doing all this like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Michael Keaton just went wah-pah. Yeah, he like kicks him in the face, doesn't he? just Yeah, like no fanfare at all. So they were even ripping off Indiana Jones then, huh? They weren't even doing it because they had diarrhea. Oh, check up on Indiana Jones for that story. But it's a trap. There's a guard. or i try
00:28:57
Speaker
There's a guard in the thing in the vault. There you go. Vault bank thingy. Thank you. Nomenclade. How is the acid in this fucking vault? I was wondering that, too. How does he have time to prepare this big metal vault and put those in there? They weren't actually robbing the vault. They were just sticking acid tubes in it. I don't I don't know where the liquids coming from. Like you see the little doors open and like comes out, but you'd still have to have tanks of acid. Right. Yeah, that seems like it's not like you are right. Like fuck robbing it. We're just trying to get Batman here. Yeah. But like, where are they hiding the tanks of acid? Yeah. Wow. Up that bottom. I didn't understand. There's a lot in this movie. I don't understand stuff like that, where it's like, well, that's just coming out of nowhere. You know what else I don't understand when he takes this guy's hearing aid to pick the lock.
Gotham's Unique Elements and Humor
00:29:41
Speaker
Yeah. And it goes. That's a Gotham lock. No, no, that's the hearing aid coming out of the dude's ear.
00:29:49
Speaker
And he told him me, he's like, I want to learn how to pop and lock. He's like, well, and pop this out and I'll pick that lock. And suddenly the walls in Gotham, as opposed to Batman Returns, can hold up an entire safe that's swinging at full velocity. I thought that. Yeah, it turns he shoots that fucking like his little harpoon thing and then pulls out part of the wall and it knocks the guy out. Batman shouldn't be able to pull pull apart concrete. And this one, it just holds, dude, it fucking it holds a big vault full of acid. And it's drywall. It's insane. The grappling hook went through with no problem, hu but it held this fucking eight thousand tons safe. ah So it had this special thing where it goes through and it puts out 10 feet either way just didn't see to hold it. Uh huh. Well, so thing he's able to do that, but then later on when he tries to like, re because when the island's moving up and he uses his battering, it doesn't hit anything. Because there's nothing for it to grip onto because it's metal. Well, ask Spider-Man what he does then. Ask Spider-Man what he does then, because he swings them webs and he doesn't hit shit. Because it sticks. He can swing on webs all the way out to Queens. There's no tall buildings in Queens. What happens when you hi it get semen wet? oh You make a baby. Wait, semen's not sticky already?
00:31:04
Speaker
I know, but like stickier. Oh, you wash away all the liquid and you're left with the sticky. You always told me you don't masturbate in showers. I do. Don't look at me that kind of You're not my mom. Masturbate wherever I want to. Right there. All right. All right. Please hold for a good quick break. We're going to do a live transmission. This is now our podcast. It's actually a live emission. Oh. Yeah, welcome to Jack's podcast. We time how long it takes. Uh-oh. 47 minutes. Heat is on.
00:31:38
Speaker
Longest episode we've ever had, guys. I doubt that. I'm not talking about Star Wars. I'm jacking off. What's the difference? I'll be quiet. If anybody has listened to Han Took Shots first, they're very similar things. We go quite long on our Star Wars one. It's fair. Sorry. There's a lot to talk about. yeah star wars't sorry I'm an excited little boy. If somebody's listening to the Star Wars one, then they're going to fucking love it. I hope so. And if they don't, they're wrong. Yeah. We're lovely people. Give us a chance. So he crashes the helicopter into Lady Liberty or Lady Gotham. Lady Gotham. And I think that this was the one part of the thing where I was like, I need a little bit more light because it got super dark. It's only half the face of the statue burnt by the helicopter crash. Yeah. I kind of could see it, but it was so dark on my like I have a 4K disc. you You should have you do have deeper blacks, but you have lighter whites. Yeah. No, it definitely gives you that image of.
00:32:35
Speaker
Let's do the fucking the statue of Gotham is made out of paper mache Oh, yeah, yeah those blades just tear right through half that face they should have chipped it a little bit, but like just fucked up the blades Yeah, cuz what's the statue literally made out of copper. Is it copper? That's why it's green patina I knew it was one of them things copper when the French gave it to us. It was pure like polished copper Okay, that would have been cooler. There's patina too though. Yeah, yes that happens. Elements, dude. Science, bitch. Science, bitch. And then we meet Jim Carrey playing Edward Nigma,
The Riddler's Arc and Villain Dynamics
00:33:06
Speaker
Mr. E, which is the Riddler's name, right? Yeah. Yeah. Edward Nigma. Yeah. Because I think I read I don't remember what it was. I didn't write it down, but they were going to use a different name. And I was like, why would you do that? Oh, and also, if you're in Gotham, police or Batman, just start looking at people to have punny names. You know, his name is John Torch. William Talkman into this real quick. Hey, will you check out a case on Bob child molester? Just like, I just want to cover all my bases and make sure we're not missing something. Ah, Timmy Bank fraud. Back at it again, are ya? Well, Harvey Denton, I mean... His face is Denton. Exactly. so Check him out. Yeah, but he wasn't a bad guy at first.
00:33:46
Speaker
And half of him is not a bad guy. He's good half the time. Whatever his coin flip tells him. Yeah. Because he even he even thanks Bruce Wayne at the end. He's like, you're a good friend. You always have been. You're always been a good friend, man. Yeah. Now let me kill you. I know. I was like, that was Batman killing him. I like Aaron Eckhart's motivation much more his as his two-face. than this. This one is like, hey, this crime boss like acid in me. that Yeah. Post post tense of acid is. But yeah, like this guy acid in me, but I'm mad at you. Yeah, he never goes after the crime boss. Yeah. Yeah. He was trying to fucking help you. It's been a couple of years. He might have killed that. Yeah, Maroney's probably dead. That's true. Or felt Coney. But he does. Yeah, he's mad at Batman for not stopping it. And it's like he tried. You were a fucking district attorney. How many people did you not get to put away? Also, it's your fault for holding that paper just over half your face. Also, that acid sucks. Did you go through that paper? Did you go through paper?
00:34:47
Speaker
But Jim Carrey playing like an obsessive weirdo, very um Michelle Pfeiffer-y. Did you clock one of the assistants walking up with Ed Bagley Jr.? Yes. I saw him in the credits, but I didn't catch him. I i caught Jon Favreau. Yeah. I had to pause. Really? No, I missed that. Oh, is that where he was? No lines. Yeah. Yeah. He's there. And then later when they're checking the monitor, he's there. No lines. Just walks up with all the other suited goons. Is he friends with somebody on the show? Maybe. No, this is I mean, this is John Favreau's still indie as fuck. Oh, this is him just trying to get a paycheck and and maybe just get out there, do anything. I want to say swingers had come out. Yeah. But that's still an indie. Yeah. You know, and what's the other one they made?
00:35:32
Speaker
Hey, guys, after this episode, I really kind of want to go out and get a beer. What are you thinking? I mean, OK, look, the thing is, I deal with beer so much in my life, I want something else. I'm i'm fine with beer, but I want like a stiff cocktail or a nice glass of whiskey. You know, the music box is just down the way and you can get an awesome cocktail or they even have like tombstone and other great beers on tap. The music box, where would I find that? Oh, you mean the music box at 6951 East 22nd Street in yeah Tucson, Arizona. Right down there at 22nd and Co. Yeah, they've got a great selection of whiskey, gin, tequila, mezcal, other spirits. Ooh, sometimes they have like putting shots and jello shots. You're putting me on. And depending on the night of the week, we can get karaoke, live music. It's great. Ooh, unhappy hour. Oh, it's Wednesday. It's unhappy hour.
00:36:17
Speaker
Yeah. I'm in. You guys are selling me. Let's go to the Music Box Lounge, right now. Let's go!
00:36:26
Speaker
Sharks of the Corn? Virus Shark? Cocaine Shark? Shark-topus? Yeah. Those are all real movies. Join me, Steve Coates, as each week I take a comedic look at the bizarre world of Shark Exploitation Cinema on Bucket of Chum, the Shark Movie Podcast.
00:36:48
Speaker
Jim Carrey's boss is played by Ed Begley, Jr., which is fun. Not in the credits. Oh, he's not. No, I want to warn him just because of Arrested Development. I'm like, look at this. Look at this guy's a fake mustache and his fake hair. Come on. We were just talking about him a couple of episodes ago. Yeah, because he's a super. odd He probably still is, but super environmentally. Yes, because I was like, you know, Al Gore, but not. Yeah. Oh my God. He could play Al Gore. Yeah. He's super serial. Super slow. But he's got enigma has this device. ah Sounds like a bad idea right out of the gate. It does. It transmits things. TV directly into your head by manipulating your brainwaves. Like I got a VR headset. Not already worries me. But you know that somebody watched this preview of it and was like, I could do that with porn. ah Porn advances technology more than anything besides war. So I was thinking I was like, I kind of want to try it out. You know what? Take my secrets. Yeah, that sounds dope.
00:37:41
Speaker
You what kind of fucking shampoo I use, right? i Take all of my secrets. You know what? Most of my secrets involve porn. Yep. So you're not going to have any fun with it. I really just don't want anyone to look up my Reddit searches. That's where it gets weird. The porn is you can probably guess what I look at with porn. Reddit search like what the fuck is he looking into? What kind of question is that? Well, it's Reddit. Now I'm curious. You can look up everything. My phone's not password protected. I would never go through anybody's things without permission. But basically, he's pitching this idea to Val Kilmer. And Val Kilmer is actually like, first, he's like, well, that seems fucked up, but you might have something there. So hit up my assistant. I want to see your schematics and stuff. And we'll talk about it. And this is where I don't understand. He's just like, that's not going to work for me. I need an answer right now. Right now. You could have waited. I know you think you're a genius, but you know why?
00:38:33
Speaker
because he's had this conversation already with Val Kilmer, just not for real. Oh, God, you see all the the pictures of Val Kilmer. He has plastered all over his workstation, which I mean, um I get it. I like the line. You hired me personally. And that's what I tell people because your name is. on Yeah, we never met, but your name is on the slip. You work at Wayne Enterprises. Of course, his name is. His name is on your paycheck. This is the first time they've mentioned Wayne Enterprises. It's not in Batman 89 or Batman. Right. They never show him it has been work at all in the first two. Yeah. Yeah. They don't want to talk about how he got his money or anything. Isn't this also the first time we see ah Arkham Asylum too? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because then we otherwise we'd have villains keep coming back. And this is kind of pre Easter eggs in movies or else you would have had a bunch of people in those cells like, oh, look at that one. Oh, and that one. I know her. I know him. then Harley, it was up in there. But yeah, I didn't answer now. Well, then the answer is no. Go fuck yourself. He sees the bat signal. He's got to get out of there. He's getting paged and he shows up and it's just Chase Meridian trying to fuck him on the roof. She's in a a little nighty with a little black cover up. A little lace. Yeah. She's like, I'm just going to go to this rooftop. I'm going to go to the rooftop of the police headquarters in lingerie. Yeah. And no one noticed her in the entire police station. Come on. And she was wearing a pantsuit. So when she got up there, she tried everything, dude. This is Gotham. You can't walk into the police station in a trench coat. Yes, you can. You can walk in as a clown with a trench coat yeah a fuck with that face. Probably. Yeah, they didn't even notice she had a face. But then ah I always say chief, but Commissioner Gordon shows up. And yeah, I saw this.
00:40:06
Speaker
Yeah, way late, by the way. Out of breath in his fucking night. In his pajamas. The elevators aren't working. I'm going to throw up. Hold on. Why are you here? I was like, is there a problem as they're like just about to make out to? Yeah, problem is, he won't let me blow him. Problem is, you just interrupted, you fuck. Go home to your wife. My safe word it is Martha. Oh. Martha. But this flirting scene is just, it's so awkward. They have no chemistry, first of all. Yep. But she doesn't have chemistry with anyone. Not even Tom Cruise. This is actually Tom Cruise. That's because she's like three feet taller than him. Well, they had to adopt children. and They couldn't have a baby. She didn't have enough midi-chlorians or whatever they measure.
00:40:47
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think it's been in Florence. Are they still together? Who? Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. Why would you think I have any clue? Because I know you secretly love her. I don't. And who's Keith Urban? Keith Urban. He's a country singer. a country singer. Duh. From Australia. isn Maybe a dango played your record. Country singer from Australia. It's called Outback music. It's not country music. Country and Western. I don't even like country and I'm offended. As an American, I'm offended.
00:41:19
Speaker
But they're like they're flirting scene. It's literally like quippy one liners back and forth that are I couldn't. I couldn't remember a single one right now. If you hold a gun to my head, I'd be like, I guess I'm dead. Yeah, this is me checking out. And is this the part or was it earlier? It was earlier, I guess, where they're doing the thing where they're like they're finishing each other's sandwiches. there Oh, yeah, when they're like bad battering against each other. ah Yeah, know that's later in the movie. They're trying to flex their fucking muscles about psychology. Oh, you know what? I do remember one of the terrible flirty lines, so I wouldn't die. I might have if you didn't wait, but... Go on. was ah What does she say? She says, well, my life's an open book. Do you read? ahhu
00:42:00
Speaker
I don't blend in at family picnics. Oh, come on, try it. I'll bring the champagne and you'll bring your scarred psyche. Like, dude. To a family picnic? Dude, you gotta stop working. This is why you don't date a fucking psychiatrist that's obsessed with Batman. Well, and this girl, I guess because she studies people with fucked up brains, she's very aware that she's like, look, I'm attracted to the wrong type of guy. Yeah. But I'm into it. I just imagine her like, did you want another piece of breed? No, I'm good. Is it because I offered it to you and I smell like your mother? Is it because this guy over here playing Frisbee reminds you of your dad and he left? Why don't you want to breathe? I'm very full. Have you dated a social major? I'm not going to talk about that. i mean to ask no I made a bunch of chicks that think they're psych majors because they googled shit. Like, I got the same internet you do, bro. I minored in it. Calm down, cuz.
00:42:50
Speaker
That's good. Oh, so anyway, that's where we get the skin type vinyl line. Yeah, because I did write that down. And it's the only thing that reminds us that there is at least one other movie because we've moved on from ah ah Vicki Vale. Yeah. Well, I was on a kavon. I do the same thing. Who wants to touch the hiney? I had a friend at dinner. No, you didn't. Well, he knew. Not me personally, but but yeah. So they imagine it would be like if they did. It's just crazy that we wouldn't be like, we wouldn't even reference the penguin or any of your accolades.
00:43:23
Speaker
Yeah, we're like when theyre they don't even reference because they show the flashbacks of like the person who killed his parents and it's Jack Napier, which he killed. Yeah. And they totally never even reference that. I don't even think it's the original image, is it? No, it's not say like someone different. Why wouldn't you use the original footage? Right. what did You own it. We already use the Elphin music. You can watch those pearls bounce off the ground, or is that the later movies? That's the later movies. Is that the Christian Bale one? Maybe it's the Christian Bale one. I think those were the roses. I know we see it multiple times, the pearls falling down in multiple movies, I mean.
Batman Forever's Music and Production Choices
00:43:56
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, this one's Kiss by a Rose. Which what annoys me about movies is it's at the end of this movie. Yes. It's not in it. It's not in it at all. Neither is that banging U2 song. Because it would have gotten in the way of the. I also hate you too. It would have gotten away the discourse between Trace Meridian and Bruce Wayne touch Batman. We want to hear that. Like did the whole time they're talking just having the background. It would make those scenes so much better. No, because everybody in the theater would just start singing along and they would be listening. Didn't you say that's what they were trying to use it? Yeah, he originally was going to use it for a Chase Meridian scene, so he bought the rights. It didn't feel it was working out. Chase Meridian sounds like the worst fucking bank. I'm not going there. Can we stop at a Chase Meridian real quick? I need to pull out some money. You know what? Speaking of Chase Meridian again, one point of
00:44:44
Speaker
um One good point for Joel Schumacher. Originally, they were going to use Chase Meridian as Poison Ivy and include that in this movie, too. Oh, oh thank God. And he's like, that's too many villains. Yeah. Ask Sam Raimi. Ask Sam Raimi, three villains, too many villains. And Sam Raimi almost directed this, too. Yeah, which would have been awesome. Would have been better. but Much better. Would have had a lot better shots. Yeah. Yeah. High end cocktail bar. I mean, they did get some of the Dutch angles and stuff in here, but it wasn't Raimi enough. I'm not talking like too much shit about this movie. I'm just saying Sam Raimi would have done better. Do you know who else would have done better? Almost anybody. Tarantino. Fuck, dude. I don't want to see a coked out script of Batman. I do. Fucking Robin just yelling him out. So then Batman takes the girl's shoes off and shoves the feet in the mouth.
00:45:27
Speaker
ah she's on the She's walking on the roof and he pretends he's part of the roof. Foot in the mouth. The villain in this one? High heel woman. The villain in this one blisters on the feet and sucks. Ow. I always bring my tough acting to an acting Batman. You got Alfred, just like, would you bring this O.D. and bitch back to our house? Prank, oh hold on, Michael Caine, prank caller, prank caller, don't fucking come here.
00:45:58
Speaker
Bat fiction. um Wake up Alfred, Alfred's sleeping. Wake his ass up, Dan. Oh no. That's Robin. Robin's sleeping. Robin's dead, baby. Robin's dead.
00:46:16
Speaker
All right, now I want to watch this movie. I wish I was good at, like, Photoshop or animation. I'd make it for you. So who is a... I just keep going back to Alfred because he's the one at the house. Yeah. He's like, what? Does this garage say dead? Never mind. Yeah, we're not doing that.
00:46:34
Speaker
but I buy the good coffee. You don't got to fucking tell me my coffee's good. I know the coffee's good. I fucking buy it. When the wife buys it, she buys shit.
00:46:43
Speaker
Oh God, I'm watching it. That's the line we can do. We can't do yours. I just wanted to put it the the thought in everybody's head of Michael Caine saying that line. yeah no yeah See what I started. it's just yeah Edward Nygma is still testing out his machine, even though he was told. Edward Nygma hands. Ed Begley Jr. shows up, gets knocked out with a coffee pot, and we get the beginning of Jim Carrey starting to do his, like, improvising vamping stuff, because caffeine will kill you, which was funny to me right now. I don't hate it, because when we started this movie, she's like, we have to start it, like, because we all watch separately, except for Whitney and I. She's like, we have to start the movie. And I was like, yeah, well, I need caffeine. ah So I'm going to go make coffee.
00:47:26
Speaker
And then that came up and I was like, shut up. Funny, I was definitely drinking a big old pot of coffee watching this. I was trying not to fall asleep. Really? Caffeine. Mine was it not because this movie was born, it was just lack of sleep in general. So like i I don't want to fall asleep to this. I mean, I was a little tired. That's why I wanted to caffeine because I was up till five in the morning trying to watch Hunt for Red October. And if I were to drink caffeine at that hour, I didn't fall asleep because of Hunt for Red October. I fell asleep because it was five o'clock. All right. That makes more sense. I would be up until like seven p.m. a.m. I don't do caffeine much anymore.
00:48:03
Speaker
Mm. It's too bad. God knows I do. So he tests the device on Ed Begley, Jr. and discovers that with more power, he can suck out your brain waves or something. Yeah, he's he's unhinged right here. He's doing like the. Oh, what's he's I'm a gaggle of freaking geniuses, a flock of freaking droids. I don't hate it. I could see they do it as Steve's. I'm like, you just did or I'm a fucking flock of freaking droids. No, but the the problem is, and it's it's the thing we run into with Jim Carrey and Robin Williams. and So it would have been the same thing, probably you not rained in. Yeah, you have the the director who's just like this is great role. Yeah, let him go. Yeah. How long we got on that? We can do we can do 12 minutes on that roll of film. You got 12 minutes, Jim. Yep. And we'll just figure out what cuts in. And sometimes it does work, especially like you said with Robin Williams, but other times it's like, all right, reign it in. Both actors we're talking about, my favorite movie of theirs are not pure comedy. Truman Show for Carrie and fucking Good Morning Vietnam or Birdcage for Williams. Like both of those are movies that have genuine feels to them as well as comedy. But yeah, yeah like my favorite Robin Williams is not Genie.
00:49:12
Speaker
We are very similar. Although, that's a pretty good Rob Williams. It's a great Rob Williams, but it's him just firing. Well, and in that case, it wasn't costing them film at least. That's true. They're like, look, do you want to stay here for 12 hours and just talk? We'll do that. And then there's then there's some poor editor that's just like, how long is this movie? 81 minutes. All right. I got it. I'm sure they have so many different tanks with him just spitballing things. Yeah. yeah like oh Did he not come back for the second Aladdin? He did not. Couldn't they have just taken lives from the first fucking Dan Kenston? What's his name? Homer Simpson. Yeah. OK, that's what I thought. They could have just taken the outtakes from number one easily. makes I did hear they actually do have a bunch of recordings of him as the genie, but there's like some sort of agreement in his like will that they can't. do anything with them for so many years. I know he was pissed about something involving that. Yeah, that's why it was it was he wasn't supposed to have anybody else voice genie, but him and then they had him not voice it for the sequel and the video games. But I think he's back for the he's back for the third one. Yeah. Yeah. Was it a he wanted to get paid more type of thing? Probably. Yes. They wanted to get a cheap. I was like, Vern might know he's our Disney dad. It was a pay dispute at the time, but I mean, he was Robin Williams. That was straight to home video. Yeah. And then it made a ton of money on home videos are like, let's pay Robin Williams for the third one. The third one was trash. Yeah. Well, the second one was was also not very good. But not my turn of. Yeah. Did Iago need a musical number? Nobody got one. I mean, you know, they got free. I go. Is it still free? He'll take any paycheck. He's not going anywhere. Nobody could do that. Well, you guys, if we get enough Patreon people on Patreon dot com slash worst people, we can pay Gilbert Gottfried to be a guest. Ooh.
00:50:52
Speaker
on this podcast. I guarantee it. Didn't he pass away? Did he? Yeah. No, that's too bad. I guarantee we can't get him. I was like, I was like, if he's on cameo, I'll just pay him on cameo and be like, Hey, can you talk for 20 minutes? I'd pay him to talk for 20 minutes. I think he has passed. That's too bad. Yeah. Rest in podcast.
00:51:12
Speaker
I mean, he did do some podcasts. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, I make sense. You're the worst people now. I'm all here being sentimental and shit. You're an asshole. So Jim Kerry, Jim Kerry tosses Ed Begley, Junior out of window. Yeah, tosses him surfs up big Kahuna. Oh, nice form, but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze. much It was too much just like it's perfect. You did his line. He did too much. He did a lot. of And I love Jim Carrey. Yes. But it's it is. It's a lot. but He needs he needs direction. And I know it's probably a tough fucking thing to do when this guy's at like the height of his shit. like Oh, yeah. he Boss you around real quick. So listen. So you get the first riddle, which is like the most obvious thing in the world. 12 or there's numbers on my face. You won't see 13. It's a clock. Got it. But but Bruce Wayne's is obviously it's a clock, you idiots. Yeah, because they're all they all they're all fairly confused. Numbers all over my face, but you won't find 13. Yeah, any place. And they're all slightly confused about it. He's like, duh, fucking clock and just like drops a pen and walks out because everybody else is wearing those fucking digital Casios, I'm sure.
00:52:23
Speaker
And then we get the flaming lip song that you were talking about. Yes. In Batman Returns. You hate your boss at your job, but in your dreams you can blow his head
Bruce Wayne's Dual Identity and Relationships
00:52:34
Speaker
off. Now Bruce Wayne meets Chase Meridian. And I guess when he first comes in, he breaks down this like solid oak door. So. Oh, because he hears her in distress. Yeah, but she's actually just fucking this punching bag. What? And he by the way, we're not fighting noises. Those were fucking noises. This is full on Transformers last night. Remember the poet Bradley Noel fucking fighting? It's all the same with Lou Dogg. The only way to stay sane. That's the problem. There's no Lou Dogg for two faced to hang out with. There's no bad dog. Oh, you mean Ace the bat hound? What? There is a bad dog. There is a bad dog. Oh, man. Yeah, that's real ah comics only.
00:53:12
Speaker
Mm, technically, but he has been used briefly in like references in some of the TV shows. I'm going to say probably like a super friends or something. They had crypto. Um, yeah, yeah, technically he showed up in the, um, crisis on alternate earth, Arrowverse crossover. When they did a Burt ward is walking ACE, the bat hound. When they I remember Burt Ward showing up. Yeah, I remember being like Yeah, I watched all that fucking nerds I watched it up until about that point I think that's about when we quit when arrow stopped is when we well they're right after the crisis on infinite Earth thing. Yeah Watch didn't carry on much after that. I think another scene I had another one or two seasons, but I couldn't get back into it. And then they all ended. Well, it just it started over and it was like, hey, guys, we have another guy who's just like the Flash and he's our main villain for the season. I was like, bro, the five seasons at a time to I mean, it's tough to like what else do you do? It's like he's a speedster. You got to have somebody with speed. The Flash has been around for 70 years. He's got other villains, right? Not wrong. I mean, Gorilla Grodd was better. Psychic Gorilla, come on. The second grill is dope. But they put the gorilla in another dimension. Yeah, they made him like a good guy towards the end, too. I got a bunch of gorilla. Grodd, sad. But they're having a little bit of flirtiness. Well, Bruce Wayne is flirting with Chase Meridian because he knows that she's hot for Batman. And he's like, well, I look just like Batman. And she's got this whole like.
00:54:35
Speaker
Are you quite done yet? Yeah, you're just a rich dude. He asks her on a date. She's like, I already met somebody. He's like, so soon. I got to get you out of those clothes. And then to address, I mean, say a little better, Nat Bruce. Right. Come on. Yeah. No, the the people who wrote this. They're terrible. Didn't do a great job. but So it's three people. That's already a red flag. There's a team that are married. Lee and Janet Scott Bachelor. And all they are married are not bachelors. Well, it's Batch B A T C H. ah But they changed it when they got married. They everything they wrote everything in all their IMDB credits is the same shit. So they wrote together all the time. Oh, wow. They wrote episodes for ah they they were like heavily involved in the equalizer television show. Oh, wow. And then they wrote the movie Pompeii. Not really much else. And then this guy, Akiva Goldsman, who I mean, he wrote some stuff that I like. He wrote The Client, Time to Kill. He wrote Batman and Robin, obviously.
00:55:30
Speaker
Some things you like. Lost in Space, the terrible 90s one. Oh, but he was also a writer on a large chunk of Fringe. Oh, don't. And not at the end. Love Fringe. Season three and four, which is like the prime time. Yeah. So the bachelors, maybe they wrote the quippy bullshit between Chase and Bruce because they they flirt like a married couple. They fancy themselves as romantics. Is that how they talk to each other? Exactly. Yeah. I was like, that is not how we flirt. It gets you out of that dress and into some more clothes. What? What? I was talking about taking you out for dinner, not fucking you.
00:56:13
Speaker
I thought I could see that. Get your mind out of the gutter. We're going to the store. Put on your clean sweat. It's more like, let me get you out of those pajamas because we're going out to the bar. You got to put something else on. Pretty much. Especially my
Circus Scene and Dick Grayson's Heroics
00:56:27
Speaker
pajamas. Now we're at the circus with all the clowns. The way the Flying Graysons. harryy are they there's clear timess There there. I didn't think they were actual clowns. The Robin outfit are way too tight. there's Everybody. They're supposed to be there. They're there for the position that some of these people are getting into. Yikes. Well, they're all related. It's fine. I was expecting someone to get stuck and ask their step trapezes to help them. Do this isn't Nitro Circus. You can't have jinkos on. Well, he's just got an extra half star if they're doing trapeze and jinkos. Missed opportunity for product time. The great jink linko.
00:57:11
Speaker
Oh, man. um But yes, it's the Flying Graysons. This is Dick Grayson and company. I don't know his family's name and I couldn't care because they're out of this movie in about three minutes. No one recognizes Tommy Lee Jones, or sorry, Too Faced. Like, wouldn't you just be like, that looks a lot like ah Harvey Dent with a burnt up purple side of his face. And that's the thing, this is like the audience is sitting in a circle around the the center as they do at a big circus tent. And but towards the camera, he's got his, you know, lawyer side facing. So everybody's like, oh, ringmaster sounds different. And then he turns and they see. I'm like, what about the people on the other half of the building? Yeah. and They already be vacating. Right. They're checking out those tight buns up above them, dude. They knew what he was doing. And then he has a giant cartoon bomb, which I guess is a reference to the countdown. Oh, so bad. Sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb. But we've all seen the fourth one. And actually, it's it's very similar to the original Batman series, because Dick Grayson, the crime fighting graysons now decide they can stop this. So Dick goes up and literally takes this bomb and throws it off the top of a building. Beach ball sound when it hits, by the way, this metal, which, by the way, he was smart. He went up into the ceiling. They're like flailing around on the poles, literally do nothing. He gets this bomb up and out by himself. All they had to do was just hang back and everything would have been fine. Yeah, they wouldn't have been there. Go with them.
00:58:31
Speaker
Yeah, go with him. Also, everybody get out on the roof. This guy just lifted 200 pounds of dynamite, plus whatever that sphere weighs. yeah Somebody could have helped him. Should have helped him. I mean, apparently Robin is stronger than Batman. I guess we just saw Batman break down a ah solid oak door, so. True. But I mean, this thing's got to weigh 300 pounds, and he's just like, hup. He has to his pupils. You saw him do laundry. Yeah, Kung Fu laundry. tremendous shape That scene is so annoying. So bad. Pointless. hold off hows One moment. So i'm ah I'm more telling myself because I'm about to go off on that. But ah Val Kilmer does give himself up, but somehow nobody sitting within two feet of him hears him. he stands He's like, I'm Batman. But you would also probably just think that he's being noble.
00:59:14
Speaker
until he swings down on a fucking that after and starts kicking people. And he yells like, Harvey, I'm Batman. I'm like, yeah I'm Spartacus. I'm Spartacus. But Chase Radian is sitting like her right next to inches away from his junk, which means it's not that far from his head, which which had this head. yeah She didn't hear him? No. All right. Whatever. Movie. So I do like the explosion. I mean, look at look at the last one we just recorded, Batman Returns. But but with bru ah christopher walken ah Bruce, what are you doing dressed up like Batman? Like no one buys it. Yeah. um I'm Batman. Shut up. There's real danger happening, Bruce. Shut the fuck up. Look, we've all seen the movie.
00:59:55
Speaker
I do like the underwater explosion. It looks cool. He sounded great. yeah I just got new surround sound, so I was like, crank it. I was in my room just cranking it. So then we cut to the falling graces and Dick's family is dead. ah And I like his like looking down through the the hole at the top. It's just very comical to me. He's looking down and he's just like, oh. Because he can't abode. They're probably like, all right, give us your best like sad face. but That's the best we're getting. and I mean, he could have screamed. He could have been like, no. he him our tenive No, he he needed to look pensive in that moment and every other moment. Yeah. And no, he's brooding. He's a dark brooding character. I just didn't know that pensive was a way to describe cardboard. and
01:00:40
Speaker
I was like, do you know why he has an earring in? I was like, to make him look cool. And he's like, exactly. Because he's edgy. Exactly. That's why I was reading it. And it's like they wanted him to have the earrings, so he looked more hip. Magic earring Robin. I'm like, oh, cool. And younger. He's playing half his age. Oh, that's ah a Barbie reference. Yeah, that was a Barbie reference. Magic earring Kagan. Oh. i did I didn't say any of those words right, but you got it.
01:01:05
Speaker
I mean, Derek, well done. Yeah, shit. So Commissioner Gordon leaves Robin at Wayne Manor because I guess that's where wayward orphans go. Well, I mean, like when he was watching it so off screen, he adopted him. Well, he would think he's like, sorry to spring this on you, but kids got to stay with you. Oh, commissioner did say that. Yeah. And I just like he's like, I just stayed here long enough for him to leave. By the way, he's still in the driveway because it's 18 miles long. But I waited for him to leave. But I'm not staying here. I don't want them to put me in of the system or whatever. And again, I'm like, you're.
01:01:35
Speaker
Fucking 40. Yeah. You are the system, motherfucker. Put on a suit and tie and go to work. like I'm going to walk up to somebody and be like, I'm afraid they're going to put me in an orphanage right now and see if they believe me. Dude, it's talking about a cot and three hots. I'll fucking sign me up for an orphanage. Please, sir, can I have some more? Please, sir, may I have some health care? Right? ah But I like the way they entice him, because Bruce is like, well, you know, gas up, help yourself, and then you can be on your way. He takes it to his Jay Leno garage. He takes it to his Jay Leno garage. Ah, I got this motorcycle right here. This is a dark knife, my favorite one. like is this going wait I have two of these if you fix them, maybe just so maybe if you can't. What do you think of that, Kevin? New banks? I do like, it's basically like, well, if somebody fixed them, they could keep them. I don't know who, but someone could have one. And then Alfred comes in with this fucking like o burger onion rings. Baconator. I'm so hungry. Oh, I guess I'll just throw this to the dogs.
01:02:33
Speaker
Hey, Al, wait. Hold on there, Al. Let me have some of that room temperature milk you're holding on that tray to wash down that onion ring bacon burger. Yeah. Look, the burger sounds great. Yeah. I don't need a chalice of milk. And I think about this every time someone brings them out on a tray, I'm like, what temperature is that? It better be fucking ice cold. I put ice in it. No, get your ice out of my milk. I keep telling her, she puts ice in milk. I'm like, just make ice cubes out of milk, and then you can do that. OK, you're both wrong. She's wronger. At least when it melts, it becomes milk. I'd rather you just fucking put the milk in the freezer and then wait for it to thaw, then drink it. I'm not saying it's the correct way. I'm saying if you want to add ice to your milk. All right, but both of you are more correct in bringing me room temperature milk. Better idea. Coffee ice cubes to put in your milk. Oh. I hate cold coffee. But then your milk becomes coffee-ish. Better idea. Frozen stones that you put in your whiskey to not water down, you put it in your milk to not water it down. Or you just drink your milk fast enough. I don't want to see things in my milk. You just drink it from the curtain, okay?
01:03:30
Speaker
Oh God, how are you guys married? You just pour shot glasses of milk and you stand there and you're just like, goosh, goosh, goosh. Burn, here's what you do. You pour a bunch of milk on a mirror, you get a blow dryer, you dry it out, you chop it up. Ah, dairy. Just do lines of evaporated milk. OK. Oh, the powdered milk. Oh, there you go. I like to complicate things, apparently. I'll get organically dry. You just like to snort things. It's fine. So two faces pretending to be an old lady.
The Batmobile and Gotham's Aesthetic
01:04:01
Speaker
And the carriage with the baby carriage. And we're back to what we don't know what your Gotham is because all these cars are 50s. Loving it. Clearly the Batmobile is not unlike the other Batmobile where it kind of fits in.
01:04:12
Speaker
like on location shooting in this movie, unlike Returns, which was all sets. Yeah. So like they're in L.A. and you can see like 1994 cars parked on the street. But then everything that happens, like that's involving the movie is all like like these fucking crazy pickup trucks. Yeah. Like that are these fucking two face guys are driving. I love them. Two face shows up with a rocket launcher. That man has sideways wheels. This is better than the pylon that comes out. It's better your car. This is just like. Oh, yeah. This thing is breakdancing. Because you know what those sideways wheels can also do? Go for it. Turn your car 180 degrees. Yep. You don't need a fucking 18 ton pylon on the bottom of your shit. Yeah. It's not that heavy. it's It's a short pylon. Still adding weight, though. Yeah, unnecessary weight. Got to keep that thing trim. Well, you can't drive it up a wall with all that weight in the bottom. It's going to catch on the brick. Where is that car going, by the way? Up, up, and out.
01:05:01
Speaker
Well, that's that's right now. He drives up the wall. He shoots a the he does a wheelie in the Batmobile, but I will give him this. They had a flame come out. Yeah, it's it's stupid, but at least it's not just popping out of nowhere because the the car goes up. It's probably about 30 degree angle and it shoots this grappling hook that goes at 180 degree angle directly up to this gargoyle science drives up the wall. But when he gets to the top, once he the car is just dangling. now Well, no, he's going to drive over and then onto the arm of the statue and off the hand. No, wait, that's the next one. And then wings pop out. I don't know. They all do transform, right? Yeah. Maybe when he gets to the top, he shoots off the sides like in Batman Returns and it just becomes a little tube. And then he just like does and he just launches himself. And once he's high enough, just eject. No, he pulls up on this roof and he's like, all right, no, just hold still. Once two faces gone, we'll descend right back to where we came.
01:05:53
Speaker
Once the fire has subsided from me murdering these dozen goons. We're up in the smog. They can't see us. We'll just hang right here. Shit, it's Gotham. Look up. You see them? I see clouds. I see smog. So now we see Jim Carrey again and he's trying to come up with names for his new super villain. Get to it. I'm saying him. I'm like, get to it. I did the one that did make me laugh because it's like the puzzler, which is probably a real one. Superman. OK, the game master and then Captain Kill. And he's just dressed as Rambo. I love that. He should have gone with that one. That one made me laugh. That's what I said. to I was like, Captain Kill's great. No, this weird, uh, Riddler behind him. Zoltana thing that he's got in his room there. It's just like bad idea, bad idea. Question mark, man. Do you want to be 30? Good idea. Do you wish you were big or what, dude? I got one fucking trick, all right? Tom Hanks was here, they put me in this stupid outfit, but I can still do it. Like, they took off the black wig and the bandana because it's it's offensive. It's offensive. And they just put on the green hat. And this can't offend anybody because nobody knows what the fuck it is.
01:06:53
Speaker
That's why it's got question marks. Well, it's got a red wig and it's creepy. So and they got him in green. He might be a leprechaun told us why I don't wear green, but he just, you know, they don't show him settle on it. But the thing is like, Hey, this cool fucking question mark that you clearly designed and you've already used three times. How many outfit changes did you notice for the Riddler's costume? I don't remember, but I do know my favorite one. The overcoat, the the Liberace. Yeah. The white, the white one of is your favorite because it's the most insane. I like the coat because it's the coolest looking I like is like it's it helps me when I'm jogging at night. That's funny. The coat and the coat is my favorite. love That's the coat and everything is it looks the most the least dumb. Yes. But the white jumpsuit with the green question marks is the most fucking insane. That's also when he's got the fire. Ventura devil horns going on and got a fucking meat miser hairdo.
01:07:47
Speaker
That whole final sequence is just like, that's when Jim carries off the rails more and it works the most because he's also cracking at that point. Yes, it's good manic energy. It's also the sparkliest one. There's like four or five, right? Or is there six? Yeah, there's at least four. There might be six. I think there might be six. I mean, who's his costume guy? Every time you see him. Who's his hairdresser? Yeah. because he goes from either sugar or spice. He took sugar. Yeah. Oh, we didn't talk about sugar or spice. Well, that's coming up right now. We're not there yet. That's right now. But he's going from he has red hair when he meets Val Kilmer. Almost natural looking, but not quite. Well, it's like brownish. It's like a deep ball. Yeah, it's a dark red kind of thing.
01:08:27
Speaker
and then and then when he's becomes the Riddler he's got the pink red like the really bad like bleach red yeah and then he comes back and he's got normal Jim Carrey hair and then he goes back to the red and then back to Jim Carrey hair and then back to the red and I'm like So he's like a drag queen. He can do wig reveals, outfit changes. I guess the Jim Carrey hair is just a wig now. I mean, Enigma is pretty much a drag name, right? Right. Right. And respect where it's due. Yes, you do. But we see two faces layer, the split down the middle, and we have W Mazar and Drew Barrymore. Ow! I don't know who I like more. ah They're playing their perspective roles. Depends on my mood. Yeah, I think I want the Tom Lee Jones approach and I choose both.
01:09:09
Speaker
You got a day and night, you're good. I will say Drew Barrymore seems like, I mean, she probably wants fancier things, but she seems like less maintenance because waiting for Debbie Mazar to get ready to go out, that's just, that's hours. Yeah, but Mazar's gonna do butt stuff. It might be yours or hers, but it's butt stuff. Oh no, Drew Barrymore's doing butt stuff. She literally tells Bruce Wayne, you can call me anything you want. So she's down. Debbie, her makeup in this movie is what women are or any people who wear makeup are doing today. I mean, that is. You're right. She's an Instagram goth mommy. I was just about to say she looks a lot like a lot of the girls that follow on Instagram, except for that hair. Yeah. Like the the the color, the streaks and stuff is one thing, but like the weird, crazy one standing up. It's the Medusa thing. That's that's too much for me. Well, that's because Harvey's hair is all. I must have looked at it because I started to turn into stone down there.
01:09:57
Speaker
I must have looked Medusa right in the eyes. Uh Freeze it up! I should have used a mirror. I looked her right in the brown eye. Oh, no. I looked her right in the thighs. And Riddler breaks into his into two phases layer here, and they have their back and forth.
Riddler and Two-Face's Partnership
01:10:14
Speaker
But the the thing, and it's supposed to be funny, and I guess it was kind of funny. I definitely laughed at it in 1995 when I saw this in theaters. But when he's sticking the little brain doodad on the Riddler's head and on his head. Anything else feel like a fried egg? Yeah, because it's definitely the this is your brain on drugs, right? Yeah.
01:10:30
Speaker
And I definitely laughed at that joke, but I was only twenty five and it was summer. So I was nine. I also just now like knowing that Timely Jones hated him. It makes it fun to watch their scenes together. Oh, yeah, you could see the hatred. It makes two faces. actions toward the Riddler make more sense. Absolutely. Because the two-faced clearly can't stay on the Riddler either. And he sabotages the Riddler anytime he can. Why shouldn't I kill you right fucking now? Well, up to a point, he's a means to an end until he gets tired of his buffoonery. Yeah, because the whole thing here, he's like, you're going to kill Batman and then you're going to have fucking post-partum depression and, you know, like, why don't just ruin his murder depression? He's not giving birth. Partum means goodbye, right?
01:11:15
Speaker
Postpartum. Oh, sorry. Part of my French. Fixed it in postpartum. So, the whole plan is let's ruin his life and then kill him. Which they don't really do. They try, but it doesn't work. They blow up the bat cave. Well, I think what it's also supposed to be, and it doesn't get strung out, but they briefly mentioned that The the Nigma shares are selling two to one over Wayne Enterprise. Talk about it a takeover, Bruce. You know, so oh when he's dressed up as Bruce. Yes. later on How's my ma is the silver mole? mole. It's the classes were the best part of that that takes them off to put them on. He puts them on. He takes them off. It's great because he's like got an obsessive fucking personality. The only way to get rid of it is to kill Batman. yeah I don't think they explored that enough because it really was more about him like being obsessed with him and wanting to be him and take over. It's that scene in one line. And yeah, and it's dropped. It's never really. um I could do with more. Whitney had a good point when we were watching this, though. So the riddler shows up at the lair, right? And two faces like, how'd you get here? And this stuff's already there.
01:12:19
Speaker
Yeah, his machines are there. Yep, because he how do you think he figured it out? He well, he used the he said one of his henchmen or one of the chicks. OK, it's off camera because he says he found him with the the dildo. Uh huh. Yeah. But then the blenders are already there. Yeah. He had one of the chicks take the blenders up there. Tommy Lee Jones was just like, ooh, Martini's. I guess you don't put Martini's in a blender. There we go. Martini. Just heavy olives. i Look, I don't know. The blenders should have been on on the light side though, because they stick out on fucking... debor vazar's fucking side like Why do you have white over there? You don't like anything white.
01:12:57
Speaker
And then we cut back to the the Wayne Manor. And this is when we get karate laundry. Yes. Stupidest fucking thing. So funny. Like nudge the roommate is like, look at this bullshit. And I guess I mean, it you know what it's supposed to show. It's like, oh, look, he's already talented. and But it's not showing me anything. It shows that he can't use a dryer. Yeah, apparently a washer. It shows me that you're a not able to accept to help. Right. You might just be that stupid. You can't use a fucking dryer. And Alfred's watching him and like it's supposed to be a look of like, oh, this guy knows fucking martial arts. But to me, it just looked like look at this fucking mess I have to clean up now. He totally means he does slap the mop down on the ground, but he just goes one, two and walks more like you're going to mop that spot, not the rest of the floor. Exactly. Or the machines. Yeah. Yeah. It's water everywhere. You can see the front of the machines are splattered with water.
01:13:43
Speaker
You know, he was showing Alfred. Here's what you're going to fix and clean up. by Here's how you mop later. You like how I did that old man. Do I look like Jim Carrey? I can't work with this fucking staff to Jim Carrey's. His case staff work is amazing. It's amazing. I heard he like broke a bunch of furniture in his trailer just trying to practice with the cane. That makes me so happy. Another cane. That's what I do anytime I get a pool cue in my hand or a I'm not playing pool with you. You've seen me do it. ah Chip Carey is just like, I need another espresso machine and they're like, we just bought you one. He's like, yeah. But you also bought me a new cane. You know this cane with a giant golden question mark on it. I wasn't practicing with the question mark before. Here's a riddle for you. How am I getting my caffeine before noon if I don't have an espresso machine?
01:14:30
Speaker
He just hits the assistant with a dick. He's just a dick to everybody. Here's a riddle. Where's my fucking lunch? Riddle me this, riddle me that. Where the fuck is my goddamn Reuben? Hey, riddle me this. Where are you going to work tomorrow? Uh-oh. You're fine. So they go on a crime spree together, do some stuff. It's fine. I really enjoy the part where he's like, teach me how to punch a man. You know, Tommy Lee Joe. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bam. Yeah, he does. He just gives that Jim Carrey only like, oh, I just wonder why these security guards like I understand they're held hostage. Right. But the one that he's punching, especially just standing stoically. It's because he knew it was Jim Carrey's like, oh, let's see this. Good luck. You would fucking hit me. And then there's another Riddler Riddler, another Riddle, only one Riddler, only one Riddler. Actually, now there's two. Two diddlers. Because Paul Dano is the Riddler too. But.
01:15:23
Speaker
Actually, there's three because there was one in Batman 66. We won't go there Frank Orson. Yes, who was supposed to be in this I think he was supposed to have a cameo in this movie, but then he didn't something something probably old. Yeah something old side But ah it's something about pawns. It doesn't matter at the end because all these riddles are only about the number that's in each thing. Yeah. So they get the other riddle. This is once the town knows about the riddler. So this is being delivered to Bruce Wayne and Alfred's like, hey, it looks like you both have an enemy. Yeah. All right. This one, the riddle, I'm sorry, not to contradict you, but this is the matchstick one.
01:15:59
Speaker
No, I think the second one that was earlier we passed that this is eight of us go forth eight of us go back. Oh, that is that we just miss we missed the matchstick one. That's fine. But the but like here Derek said, it's just the numbers are not even that they're not even that clever. It's like I was red now. I'm black. OK. He struck me on the head of what was read is now black. I was like, match. Yeah. And yes, I've seen this movie somewhat recently. I do not remember the answers answers to the riddles from watching. I definitely didn't remember the vowel one. Uh, that was, I watched the 89 returns and this in the same day. So the number of beers I'd had by the time this came on, I don't remember the answers to the riddles. But the thing is, I read that like the puzzle master for New York times or some shit who does the crossword came up with these riddles. And I, then once I watched it, I was like, fire that guy. Yeah, absolutely. It was this cast off to the ones that the newspaper's like, no, he's like, well, the movies will take it. but you Fucking believes nine year old daughter hits me with riddles harder than this one.
01:16:53
Speaker
Sometimes she's like, all right, what about this? I'm like, I gotta Google this before this nine year old calls me out. Alfred has probably the my favorite line in the entire movie here if I heard it right. I was taking a note at the time, but the way I heard it, ah Robin's trying to, or sorry, not Robin yet. Dick Grayson is like, hey, what's in this room? It's the only one that's locked. Apparently he's just walking through this place looking for room. I mean, why wouldn't you? That's what I would do if I was, I was given free reign. Master Wayne's dead wives. It's the silver room. That's fucking hilarious. There's got to be more staff than Alfred, right? No. I mean, we never addressed what really happened to Vicki Vale, I'm just saying. That's true. All we know is that she found out. No, it returns. He says it didn't work out. Yeah, because she's dead. Yeah. It's hard to date a dead chick at the bottom of the ocean. What happened to Selena Kyle? One day he found her fucking prowling around the roofs and she knows he's Bruce Wayne dead. Only one life left at that point. He hurt her in the alley fucking all those dudes and he got jealous because she's a cat. Yeah.
01:17:51
Speaker
out there with your sexual escapades. and Oh, Miss Kitty. Oh, Miss Kitty. And then we kind of, the enigma box is out. Everybody's got one in their home. We cut back to Dick Grayson, watching Alfred go into secret room. Yeah. And he's like, I'm up here. Can you hear what to do? Now. Yeah. As soon as Alfred goes in, he screams as loud as possible in an empty manner with tons of echoes. No! It would be great if Alfred pops that guy. What's that? Right? Like, did he not hear that? Yeah. It just deadbolts the door and watches him run into it. this door This door needs to close a lot faster if it's the entrance to your secret lair. Yeah. Because this guy pops and flips and jumps all around this house. like This is 45 seconds of acrobatics. Do we get a cool entrance into a back cave in this one?
01:18:39
Speaker
Uh, the only one really was the chair. It's not cool, but the closest thing is the chair in his office. That's right. Turns you like a coffin. Because at first I was like, why don't they just have him go down a slide like Michael Keaton did, but then I realized, oh, cause he's at Wade Enterprises.
Robin's Recklessness and Growth
01:18:54
Speaker
He's got to go to a little nomadic tube or something. That's right. He did a slide that's barely faster than the stairs.
01:19:02
Speaker
And then so Dick Grayson steals the Batmobile and takes it for a joyride. And apparently I read that every everybody who every time the Batmobile was being driven, it was a stunt driver, obviously, except for this, because Chris O'Donnell was like, no, I want to drive it. And then he crashed into a curb and broke the fender. Asshole. But he broke the LED lights. That was the biggest problem. That was 1995. You know how much those cost? Right. You can't just order more on fucking Amazon for 1993. That's right. That's a weird number. That's a very weird number. It's Amazon. Doesn't he run into En Vogue when he's cruising around?
01:19:39
Speaker
Yeah, and Vogue is ah there. I thought it was. Are those the corner girls? Yep, those are the. Fucking hell.
Gotham's Visual Production and Cameos
01:19:46
Speaker
And then he me meets up with ah Don the Dragon Wilson's raver gang. And I was very disappointed to find that Don the Dragon Wilson does two like roundhouse kicks. Dude, it sets up for a boss battle because he saves the girl. and then takes on a couple of the goons, and then it's like, all right, dude, cracks neck, let the boss at him. Yeah, two missing roundhouses knocked out. Okay, so that's three. That's three Indiana Jones bits in this. I don't think this is supposed to be a bit. This is just them like, we don't really need a fight scene here. We just need this to show that Chris O'Donnell is fighting. This is them. They had a fight scene, and then they finished the edit, and they were like, two hours and eight minutes? We can get a 201. Yeah.
01:20:25
Speaker
ah Sorry, don Don. Don showed up on set and got makeup done for this shit. Well, it's supposedly, from what I read at least, Joel Schumacher like personally invited him to come and do it. like He's like, hey, I like your shit. Come do this. And then he like and it also but what I also read said it took four days to shoot this. What a slap in the face. What four days did this take four days? a Although you got to install black lights. Oh, I guess that includes all the painting. You got to go to Spencer's and get all the black lights. Then you got to get the glow in the dark paint from. so Well, the problem was Spencer's ran out of black lights and they had to wait for the truck to come. Oh, man. They don't have a black light supplier in Hollywood yet. And I'll tell you what, trucks delivering Spencer's gifts in Gotham ain't going to make it, dude. That's where the Joker gets all his best ideas. Fucking you see this big black pillow fell off the back of a truck. I'm going to sell it to Harry the Hatchet, though.
01:21:13
Speaker
And that's when he makes out with a teenager, which is fun. And then for everybody involved. And then real Batman shows up and everybody basically just runs away. There was a lot of people like they probably could have slowed him down a little bit. Yeah. Well, yeah, because second has come out, right? Two words, dog pile. that's all'm saying Have we ever tried just suffocating Batman to death? Sure, a bunch of you bottom ones are gonna die too, but the for the greater good. Did you say Don Pyle? For the greater good. Don Pyle's good. Don the Dragon Wilson Pyle. Everybody, Don Pyle! Batman's like, oh no, my only weakness. We're due for another The Dragon movie. You shot you set him up, dude. We can do the one ah Red Sun Rising where he plays a Japanese guy and then has to speak Japanese, but then they dub him because he doesn't actually know Japanese. There shouldn't be another option. That's just the one we do.
01:22:00
Speaker
you want movie You started with the best fucking answer. Hey, do you want to go shoot fireworks and a bunch of guns or there's no ore or. Or do you want to look at a wall or we could take a nap? Sometimes naps are how tired I am. Fireworks and firearms. You're there. Well, my favorite thing is the word fire in it. The day we're recording, this is the first day 100 degrees outside. So we do it like, well, take a nap first. Take a nap during the daytime. And then when the sun goes down, guns and fireworks. Right. Well, you just have to stay up all night because we go shooting early. That way the sun's there just barely heating up. Derek's going to be 5.30 in the morning, just fucking still kicking. But the fireworks. You can't do fireworks in the sun. Fireworks at 4 in the morning. So. Fireworks before the guns. Yes. Oh. Guns at the fireworks. Guns full of fireworks. I'm onto something here.
01:22:49
Speaker
I think that's just called a flare gun. Yeah, what are those the tubes and the Roman candle Roman candle the tubes in the food poops, you know what I meant? Tube of the food poops could also be you talk about sex Like ten-year-old there's like oh the tubes in the food poops mom I don't know about the birds and the bees, but I know about the tubes in the food poops Food boobs is code for fallopian to and you learn new things every day. Every day. Are you glad you're here? Yes!
01:23:21
Speaker
Anyway, these guys over we here are talking about tubes in the food proof, so I am trying to learn. And Dick Grayson's over here talking about murdering Two-Face. Proceed with the show. Batman tells him, it'll make you a sad boy. Don't murder him. And he's like, yeah, I'm probably going to do it. This is like the fifth time it's happened. but And I also love how just so perfectly set up it is, where he's like, you don't know. Your parents weren't killed by a psychopath. How do you not know that? Wasn't that big news in Gotham, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Well, he's not from Gotham. Oh, that's true. He's from the traveling circus. I think you would still know about one of the world. Everyone heard Elon Musk's fucking stupid kid's name. I have no idea. What is it? Oh, it's like X2, 3, 4, 9. Of course it is. It's unpronounceable. I know that his dad owned a jade mine, and that's where his mine comes from. There's emeralds? I thought it was emeralds. Emeralds? He owned emeralds? I know it's something in South Africa that takes advantage of human labor in a negative way. It could be both.
01:24:11
Speaker
I do know Walt Disney bought his parents a house and his mom was killed from a gas leak in the house that he bought her. He definitely didn't set that up either. Whoa. Did he find out his mom was Jewish? Oh no! Wow! o worst of all It's okay to laugh, honey. It might not be okay to laugh. Anybody listening, you just know that it's because Walt Disney is a famous anti-Semite, not because Jack thinks that he should gas-do it. No, not at all. I love Jewish people. I just want to make sure that there's not a listener that's like, wow, that guy. No, that's a definitely just a vibe or a dig right at fucking Disney. I feel like it's widely known, but there might be that listener. I just always think of the family guy where it's like, oh, yeah, his head's frozen or he's frozen. Are the Jews gone? Nope. Put me back in. Yeah.
01:25:04
Speaker
Oh, so we have no Gibson. We have enigma's big ah gala event and we already covered the Bruce Wayne copycat.
Riddler's Plan and Brainwave Theft
01:25:14
Speaker
Yeah. Basically, the big thing here is he's stealing Bruce Wayne's brain imprint. He's got Drew Barrymore helping by showing the power supply is a glow stick. Yep. Full of kryptonite juice. And then steal it. And then bringing it, when he goes into the room, pulls out another lit glow stick and sticks it back in the machine. Especially in a movie where there's no sweat involved, there's very few things I like more than something pulled from cleavage. It's just like the coolest spot in the movie. Especially right between Drew Barry's, Morse, Drew Barry's. And that's that's the real sugar right there. Why did they call you sugar? Oh, that's a bokeh sugar baby. Yes. to Say she just pulled cocaine out of her. No, I think it's whatever you're looking for. You're like, you're looking for some sugar for your coffee. She's like, whoop, packet of sugar, eating pizza, whoop, crushed red peppers. To be fair, I have seen a drag queen pull out of glass, ice, a mixer and ah alcohol and all from. I want to see that. Yeah. Silky Nutmeg Ganache. Say the name again. Silky Nutmeg Ganache.
01:26:14
Speaker
silky nutmeg ganache. That's awesome. Is that the drink or the drag queen? The drag queen, but maybe the drink. I don't know. That would be a fucking thing to see. I used to do that all the time. Make martinis? Martinis? No. Martinis? You witnessed me pull shit out of my boobs. I'm just like, here's this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not shit. Fucking son. This is not too bad. Sylvester Stallone is not around here anywhere, man. Whitney has like a, ah you know the gear up scenes I like in action movies? Whitney's the opposite, but it's just all of it, her boobs, like, keys, vape, water bottle. so That's her gearing up to leave, but it's just ah just a close up of cleavage with things being shoved in there.
01:26:50
Speaker
So we just wrote scary movie six. Yes. I think they're way past that. Yeah. ah Well, his drag queen story ruined my joke about pulling catch about for a hot dog. So don't you be sorry. That was much better. It was much better whenever he was going to poop up there. But, yeah, so Bruce Wayne does go in and gets gotched. Yeah. And they get at least the image of somebody holding a giant bat puppet. Like, this video is so stupid, dude. You couldn't just get a bat. So what does his brain look like? It's a bat flying. Hmm. That's it. Could be a rich guy obsessed with Batman. Yeah. I mean, could he could be a, ah I don't know, cryptozoologist. He's obsessed with large bat creatures. He could be a villain and he's scared of the bat. Oh, it's like monarch shit. Cryptozoologists are people. It's a it's a real thing, but not. But they also study King Kong.
01:27:35
Speaker
Yeah, there's there are people who, quote unquote, study like cryptids, which would be like cobras and stuff like that. you yeahbra Oh, yeah. It's a real thing ish about things that are there are people who call themselves that if those creatures were real, it would be a real it's a real profession. Just like psychics. it So Two-Face comes in, crashes the gala, Jim Carrey's upset about it. Batman drops through the fucking ah dome glass ceiling and he's like, your entrance was good, his his was better. Difference, showmanship. Which I feel like that was also improvised because at this point, Tommy Lee Jones is like expressed to Jim Carrey, he's over his shit. yeah And so he's like, hey, the difference between good and bad, showmanship, fuck.
01:28:18
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, the shade of it all. Although Tommy Lee Jones is giving some showmanship. He was. Oh, he was. You're just as wild. Maybe not as wild, but you're fucking wild. Did Tommy Lee Jones not see under siege? I did. say all I think that Tommy Lee Jones is a true actor for the fact that he is actually acting and going beyond and ah above and beyond what is I was expecting of him to do. and He's doing this role. more justice than he needs to. He could have shown up and done whatever, but he's giving us a performance that keeps me awake. I'm sorry that you fell asleep or he were about to. He's playing a Saturday morning cartoon villain. Yeah, yeah yeah he got the fucking memo. And I mean, yeah yeah unlike O'Donnell. Yeah. Well, I don't think he got the memo. He just can't read. I don't know what these things say. just yeah what Mom, what's ACT spell?
01:29:08
Speaker
ah See the earrings? That meant he couldn't read. He's like, mom, you have to go through the script and highlight all the right all my lines. ah ah He was running lines in the trailer, but that meant pouring a fat line and running all the way across it. But like Jim Carrey is doing more of just his Jim Carrey-ing here, because his early career. But like he was a comedian, not an actor per se. I mean, he had acted, obviously. We talked about those three movies and he was on In Living Color. The difference between a comedian, not an actor. The difference between like this character and Ace Ventura and Mask are negligible. You know, it's a matter of makeup and wardrobe. Dumb and dumber, a little bit different, I think. But the other two, I mean, like this is the same fucking energy. Well, this is one of those things we discussed. I think we brought up Chris Farley on a previous episode and like his not wanting to be typecast as like the fat guy. Yeah. Fat guy humor. Same thing happened to Jim Carrey. He didn't end up dying, but he was like trying to do serious shit. Nobody was taking him seriously. And he kind of went crazy. It went all fucking Timothy Leary in the woods for a while. Yeah. And then just reappeared with a big beard and like a real calm attitude. And I was like, dude, the Sonic the Hedgehog movies now.
01:30:11
Speaker
Well, I don't know about those. I didn't watch those. But he did that show, kidding. ah Michelle Gondry. Also, yeah as I mentioned, Eternal Sunshine on our like on our Patreon episode. Such a good movie. But kidding is fucking amazing. And he's doing comedy, Jim Carrey style comedy, but also like really good acting because he went off and just had like a fucking walkabout like Jim Morrison style. ah Speaking of Val Kilmer, wasn't he married to Jenny? Jenny McCarthy. Oh, yeah. And like was got jumped on that wagon. That would kind of make you go crazy. Jumped on the bandwagon with like vaccines cause autism. And I don't know if he ever did. She's the one who was out in public saying that shit. I think he was just sitting at home going like, well, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just going to say I've never heard anything about him saying that. I'm more here. I just know he was very much an advocate for autism. Like, hey, let's figure out like like these are people. Oh, yeah. I really liked when he showed back up with the crazy beard, though. Oh, yeah great look. Like literally out of nowhere. Didn't he show up at like some movie awards? Like the first time we saw him was like, yeah, the award show and he had the crazy beard and people are just like, what's up? And he's like, what's going on with you? And he's like, well, yeah, this is real. This is better. You have no idea yeah how much ice, how much acid I am on right now. Yeah. Do you have any idea how fucked up I am right now?
01:31:25
Speaker
Why is this squid asking me questions? I was just talking to Trey and Matt. Tell me about the fucking golf shoes. It's impossible walking this muck, there's no footing at all. Hey, have you guys ever heard of Patreon? I think I have. Yeah, I think it's like a Royal Guard. It's that maybe, but also it's a website where podcasters and other creators can get people to give them money for making their product go on. You mean we can get paid for this? Yeah, kinda. For a mere $3 a month, you loyal listener can feed or get drunk a starving podcaster. I feel like we need some like Sarah McLaughlin behind this.
01:32:04
Speaker
I will remember you. I almost did with arms wide open. I was like, that's not the song. That's how you get people to not give you money. So check it out. Patreon dot.com slash worst people. That's W O R S E three dollars a month. You get access to exclusive episodes. Find us. Love us. Support us. Thank you. Chase Meridian at some point during this tells Batman, hey, meet me at midnight. Max makes out with him. So he does go and meet her at midnight because she's sleeping naked by the way, all those people. And I read that she's actually naked but under that like yeah silk sheet. I wish I could care. But it's just it's a it's a sorry, I just I don't find it. It's a cool choice to make because usually it's like I'm wearing full clothes, but I'm holding up the sheet. She was like, nah, it doesn't look good enough. But her makeup and hair were still perfect.
01:32:50
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Well, have you ever seen? ah Nobody did. But have you ever seen the movie Cold Mountain? Oh, yeah. Civil War movie that she did. Yeah. That was one of the biggest things. the Civil War movie. I would have watched it. Yeah. Well, it's stars Nicole Kidman and her makeup and hair are also perfect through the entire thing. And I'm like, this is the Civil War. You are the late 1800s. You are disgusting. Your teeth be rotted. Yeah. Go watch 1884, look at them people. Just because it's the Civil War era, it doesn't rain, you can't wear salon products. She gets dirty as shit in that movie. But her teeth are still too perfect. Well, the teeth, that's one thing. only What are you gonna do, knock people's teeth out? This isn't sure as hell. Gunk them up! It's fucking 2024, we got teeth, gunk. Figure it out, get some garlic paste.
01:33:32
Speaker
I just like that, like, she tells Batman, like, hey, come meet me at midnight. And he gives this look like, did I just get cucked by myself? Uh-huh. Like, my own alter ego. then when he What a fetish, dude. When he shows up at her house, though, she's like, actually, I'm into someone else. I'm like, you just got double-cucked by your own self twice. cut Double-time switcheroo.
01:33:56
Speaker
oh In there's there's the they try to two-faced tries to blow him up and he's got the hardening cape Which I'm sure I'm sure is like probably a comic book thing. Yeah, I know it's definitely at least fire without traps like he does this whole trap thing and then Batman's still alive and he starts shooting his grenade launcher at him and like Almost gets him more of this less schemes and more rockets at Batman's face. Yeah, I And it's when Dick Grayson shows up dressed like Flying Dick Grayson. Yeah, Flying Dick. Batman. He saves Batman and then he's like, hey, I'm going to be your partner. you Give me a name like Batboy or Nightwing. And that's that's the nerd line. That's the that's the Easter egg. Nightwing guys. That's who he becomes later.
01:34:38
Speaker
He's going to say it. When he grows up, it becomes an adult. Like when he's 45, he'll be Nightwing. He's going to become Nightwing. He's going to be super sweet. And then Jason Todd's going to get killed. I was very proud of Whitney, though. She recognized the name Nightwing. Dope, because of Titans. Yeah, because it's not a bad show. Not a bad. I'm not I'm not judging that. Like, that's that's a good reason to know. That's exactly why I did not read. Because in that one, I don't blame you for that one. Dick Grayson is Nightwing and Jason Todd is Robin, right? They're both there at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because he starts out as being Robin and then but he's left Batman. So he finds out about Jason Todd. Yeah. Super cool. Stan, I think it takes the entire first season for him to figure out Nightwing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nightwing.
01:35:27
Speaker
Then the Riddler and Two-Face look at the brain scan question mark. What kind of man has bats on the brain? Everybody in Gotham, bitch. Everybody in Gotham. Right? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe he just read the newspaper before you scanned them. Look how obsessed we are with celebrities on our fucking Earth. Imagine one is a fucking bat that kicks ass. Consistently beats up clowns. He's a bat who fights mobsters. that's a bat It's a fucking mobster fighting bat. Yeah, he's on my brain. He's a bat who fights Richard Kind. Oh, no, wait, that's Colin Farrell. After hours of makeup, you look like Richard Kind. Right? Like, the fuck? Just do Richard Kind. But I do like that performance. It is a good performance. It just always made me laugh. And then basically Batman's like, you know what? Fine. I quit. I'm not going to be a Batman anymore because you won't shut the fuck up. You said I couldn't stop you from being my sidekick? Well, no more Batman, so suck it.
01:36:20
Speaker
Guess what, bitch? Now the whole city is going to suffer because you're a little fuck. You're a baby. I'm telling Chase right now who I am and I'm putting the cape up. What, who's going to be a baby get his bottle? like Well, apparently Joel Schumacher didn't get along with Val Kilmer very much because he said he was acting childish and like being stupid, whatever, throughout this. But then I also read that during this, he was in the middle of a messy divorce that was being finalized. And it was like that may have informed the way he was acting. Yeah. The chick from ah Willow. Oh, was it? The doors had a big part of her divorce. She could like because he just got into the character and he played the fucking doors over and over and over. And she's like, I can't fucking listen to the doors anymore. Yeah, she's like she's like the dude. But with the doors, I just hate the doors, man. Had a rough day and I just fucking hate the doors. Well, turns out Val Kilmer hates doors because he knocked one off in this movie. He does? Who was the subtle reference? It wasn't. It wasn't subtle. It was nothing subtle in this movie. I liked him. I loved it. Yeah, I'm not. The movie is absolute horseshit, but I still enjoyed it because I think he did a great job and I think Meg Ryan did a great job and.
01:37:27
Speaker
She's hit and miss for me. I mean, that was in the peak. She's more missing it. Yeah. So Dick Grayson bounces. He's like, fine. They keep be you. They kick him on leave. I'm going to walk this motorcycle down this alley. Well, here's what started at the house because Bruce Wayne might hear it from the exactly right from eight acres away on the other side. Yeah, I put that bitch in neutral and just fucking run on a hill. um Is this a trick or treating scene? Yes. Yeah. OK, so again, it's an 18 mile long driveway. Where the fuck are these trick or treaters coming from and where are their parents? Right. dude This is Gotham. Wayne Manor is outside of Gotham. Yeah. And it's like up on a hill. ah This is the Catskills to fucking New York. And people are like taking our kid. I mean, is this Bruce Wayne's house? so Yeah, we'll drive out there. They gave everybody got a gold a gold bar.
01:38:10
Speaker
Like, everyone just gets a solid number. He's handing out Wonka bars, and there are five tickets.
01:38:16
Speaker
Oh, man, imagine Wonka for fucking Wayne Manor. They say no one goes in, no one comes out. Would that make Dick Grayson an Oompa Loompa? Yeah. Or would it make him Charlie Bucket? Yeah, Alfred's the Oompa Loompa. Dick Grayson's Charlie Bucket. Yep, absolutely. OK. Looper, looper, looper too. I did notice um they're sitting in front of the fireplace, him and Chase Meridian. Different fireplace. Very small fireplace compared to Batman Returns. Still a huge fireplace. This one's only 12 feet wide and like four feet tall. You could only walk three people into this, not six. And they have to be shorter people. Yes. Everyone's ducking. My height. yeah Because that last one, as I commented, but either of you have seen it, was a Citizen Kane fireplace.
01:38:58
Speaker
This one could this fireplace, you could fit two or three of this fireplace in Michael Keaton's fireplace. Mm hmm. Yeah, I did know it's a different way and manner altogether. And you've you've said why already. Different people, different everything. Yeah, like sets and in L.A. It's a different universe, bitch. Right, bitch. So if it's not. It's not supposed to. Same universe. Same universe. Pat Hangle, Michael Goff. They reference Catwoman. What's the what's the one parallel to us? A bunch of them. Like the parallel universe where everything except six one six six one six. That's that's a Marvel joke. Yeah. All right. It's making sure everybody got it. Yeah, I got it. Just like later in this movie with ah Dick Grayson, you have to explain your jokes and they're funnier. Mm hmm. All right. Holy. What does he say? Holy. Holy rusted metal. Kill me. And Val Kilmer gives like the Dray's like, what?
01:39:49
Speaker
It's holy. It's metals all rusted and holy. Oh, it's made out of metal and there's holes in it. Wait, of course they had to do that. Oh,
Humor and Nostalgia in Batman Lore
01:39:57
Speaker
all right. It's dumb. There's like one grandpa laughing. You know what? Just say holy rusted metal and leave it. That's the jokes we should laugh at. We are punching Nazis. That old show had some great stuff. I've only seen a few episodes, but one of my favorite things was I remember there was a shark. So they were hanging off like a helicopter, a bat shark repellent, bat shark repellent are words that are said. Yeah. One of the few episodes I've seen.
01:40:24
Speaker
Get the bat shark repellent. I'm like, how prepared are you? And it doesn't have to say bat, by the way. It does. It does. It does. Shark repellent. Excuse me. Branding. Just so you know, shark repellent. It's just one of those ah boxes that has a boxing glove that comes out of it. He's boxing on the nose. They go away. That's what Discovery Channel told me. I would love that shit. ah The shark's coming for you. Remember to punch him in the nose. What they say to remember? but i I have to pee on it, right? Oh, that's jellyfish dead. Dead. Jellyfish thing is wrong, by the way. and Well, you don't pee on jellyfish. No, you know don't pee on the sting either. If you see a jellyfish, you can pee on it all you want, dude. But yeah, don't pee on your jellyfish stings. That's just going to contaminate it. I mean, I drink my pee because it's sterile and it tastes good. Do I have to? No, it's sterile like the way it tastes.
01:41:11
Speaker
You can touch a jellyfish, you can dodge a ball. I say it all the time. Hands off, bitches. He's mine. Hey, you guys, if anybody out there is looking for a new husband, my wife's leaving hers. And I'll just I'll give you all the quotes from all the movies you don't want to watch again. No, he's going to put on a mask and be Durk a man and just cuck himself.
01:41:34
Speaker
I'm still just going back to my wife. She's like, I like Durk a man. I don't know who he is. He's got glasses off. He's got his off hair
Villains Infiltrate Wayne Manor
01:41:40
Speaker
up. So the Riddler and Two-Face sneak in and they put on these fucking Nightmare Before Christmas masks and they like just squat down and go to a tweet. And Alfred's like, oh, these are children. but Clearly, they're children. Listen to them. Tommy Lee Jones looks just like a young child. Sounds like one to trick-or-treat And then we get more vamping from fucking Jim Carrey because they basically I think what they did because he's like I'm gonna go take out the bat cave You sit up here and do like a funny games on the people upstairs. I won't do another scene with him I'm lee jones you can i'll be there i'm just gonna sit here. Yeah, I'm not doing a fucking scene with them. I'm gonna sit right here. So they just put Jim Carrey in the back cave and they were like, look, anything you point at, it's going to explode. Uh-huh. And he's just down there talking to himself. Everything in this room is explodable. Explodable, explosive. Explodes. Explodes. Explodes when you eat it. Everything in here can be blown up.
01:42:35
Speaker
ah for a children's movie, which this roughly is. Joygasm, joygasm and then doing like the pelvic thrusts for the explosions. I was like, I never really got that as a kid. I didn't think that was yeah i like like the joygasm. I mean, the thrusting thing at that point, like clearly I've seen Ace Ventura. I'm like, hey, he's just doing Jim Carrey stuff. yeah Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think that was just the body language we all had back then. I'm like, oh, I have a penis. I'm supposed to hump. I remember always thinking so two faces up there flipping this coin. He flips his coin, decide if you're going to live or die, and he has to listen to it no matter what, except for the three times he doesn't in this movie. And he he flips the coin multiple times. And I remember when I was younger, it's like he's asking psyches like, can I kill him? No.
01:43:16
Speaker
Can I join? Well, he flips the coin three times because there's three people that he wants to kill. So when I was younger, I was always like, oh, he just really wants to kill Batman. He's like, give me that. Give me the negative side. Right. But it's because there's Chase Meridian, there's Alfred and there's Batman. Yeah. So for each. Yeah. But then once he even gets the tail side, I don't know if he said in his head like this is for Chase. This is for he's like one of these is negative. It's Batman. Maybe because the second one he does kind of look at Chase and goes and then flips his coin. So I kind of I don't know. But like when he goes to kill him and Jim Carrey's like, no, don't kill him because we'll give him this other riddle and we'll get something out of it or whatever. And he decides not to. And I'm like, that is not how Two-Face works. Two-Face would be like, sorry, dude. Coin said no. Kill him and you. He won't learn nothing. He's going to die either way. Why does it matter?
01:44:00
Speaker
Right. What the fuck do I need to learn? Yeah, we already know he's Batman. Yeah. What else do you need? We need to play this final game. Curtain one, curtain two. This movie's over and the fucking franchise is over. Batman's dead. Right. Right there. Done. Fucked around and found out. So they take Chase Meridian back to their base or to Riddler's base. um and we get another riddle it's the five little items was it five little items you'll find them all in a tennis court and their vowels yeah whatever it comes down to it's 13 18 and five which is mr e it's funny because i forgot too and then like the second riddle was one i was like
01:44:33
Speaker
Fuck. What so has an A in it? But it's because it's a one and an eight makes 18. Yeah. ah Was it? It's just like Maggie or mage. Is that mage? A mage here? We're fucked. I think it is mage. Calls a Tana. G. Yeah. It smells mage. No, it was like M-R-H-E or something. Because one is A. It's M. I just love Alfred, first of all, is like, well, obviously the 13th letter is M. Yeah. And it's the same time for the movie. eighteen He's like, R, R. Alfred's got it memorized. It did kind of feel like he solved his riddles in the old one. It was like just all this stuff came together and like, oh, this makes sense. I'm like, how? To who? Right?
01:45:16
Speaker
But Mr. Edward Nigma, because this entire time it hasn't been really obvious that Jim Carrey was the Riddler, right? Like when we had Tiny Cough over his face. And he's like, oh, dahda he's talking. I was like, you've already talked to the Riddler. Yeah. Well, he's not doing a voice modulation. No. Maybe he hadn't. It doesn't matter. Like you should have known who this was. You've seen him on TV. You're the world's greatest detective. You're Batman. He's the world's medium as detective in this. Yes, true. He's the world's most okay detective. And this is when we get the new bat suit with the butt close up. Robin shows up in nipple suit as well. So now we have an adult man and was supposed to be a teenage boy and bondage gear hanging out together. Yep. Something wrong here.
01:46:04
Speaker
i You know all these kids keep going up to Wayne Manor and then they turn up dead around town that Jason Todd that ah the ditation in That a Third one whose name I don't remember to Tim Drake Tim Drake. Thank you. yeah He's actually the first one, right? No Dick Grayson dick grayson then Tim Drake and then Amy and Wayne and then i was goingnna say wasn't it His son. Yeah, Amy and Wayne with Tally al Ghul. Yeah, Talia Uh, so we get the bat wing, not the one from, uh, wait, somebody took their balls out and not the one from, uh, waiting. ah Yeah. I keep trying to say it. Then you make me laugh. and Not the one from waiting. No bat wings. Yeah. One, one by air, one by sea. Yeah. That's fucking Paul review over there. Oh no, it's both. I don't have enough candles. If all the same blue lights up and down the size, just like the Batmobile, he put a candle in both windows. That must mean there's no problem. It's just dark in his house.
01:46:59
Speaker
They really were also fucked up but like you you did some damage, but you left him right and two vehicles But he wants him to come get him. I guess yeah he does I'm counting on it. I Do like their little like battleship game that was that like the signs and you see more disdain on Tommy Lee Jones face because oh You sunk my battleship.
Final Showdown and Resolution
01:47:22
Speaker
It's like Damn it, dude. Yeah, shut the fuck up. I'm going back to work with real actors like Steven Seagal. Steven Seagal is delight to work with compared to you. He showed me this awesome room whose professional will fucking Smith.
01:47:34
Speaker
least you will
01:47:38
Speaker
And we do get the the the bat wing gets shot out of the air and he's like, oh, I hope we find the black box, whatever. And then it's like a bat submarine for all of one and a half seconds before a Batman just launches himself out of it. and you' like Just stay in the submarine. Use the little grippy arm. Grab Robin and keep going. You're doing work. I know you got a grippy arm. Yeah. Why wouldn't you build a the grippy without a grippy arm? That's a stupid submarine. but So they sneak onto the island, holy rusted metal Batman. And then we get one of the only actual hero versus villain fights. Actually, the only hero versus villain fight in this movie, Robin versus Two-Face. Oh, wow.
01:48:12
Speaker
Yeah. You're not wrong. Because later on, it's just a battle of the minds. But much like Batman Returns, having Val Kilmer, especially in this like ripped dude suit, fighting Jim Carrey, it was sad and depressing. That's not Jim Carrey's props. Yeah. Again, it would be like having Michael Keaton beat up Danny DeVito. It's just like, well, that's just sad. It's like in LA Confidential, Russell Crowe just beats the shit out of Danny DeVito. That's sad. Yeah. But it also works. But these movies aren't supposed to be said. Right. That's what I'm saying. Like that's supposed to be. You don't put that in the kids movie. But then Robin wins and Tommy's hanging off the edge of the fucking thing. I'll see you in hell. I'd rather see you in jail. And pulls him back up and he says, Noble, fucking stupid. You're an idiot. Stupid, but noble. Yeah. like And this is where the Batman school thought fails. I mean, I think kill him. i'm not Yeah. saying not
01:49:02
Speaker
If he falls, he falls. Yeah. What is ah just let him sit there. If he gets out, he gets out. Is it in ah Dark Knight Rises when he's like, I thought you didn't kill anybody. He's like, well, I didn't say I had to save him. Yeah. One of those. That's the first one. Is the first one. Yeah, it's the first one because it's Al Ghul is Ra's Al Ghul is like trapped. Yeah, I don't have to. I'm not going to kill you, but I don't have to save you. Still killing. Which unlike Michael Keaton, he just could strap kills people. Yeah. So does Val Kilmer in this one. I mean, aside from like what we're getting to here in a minute, like those goons chasing him when he goes driving up the wall, they're fucking dead. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fire. Those trucks go into balls of fire. I mean, rain balls of fire. You just didn't break.
01:49:43
Speaker
Nothing breaks like a Ford.
01:49:48
Speaker
Batman stuck in like the tunnel here that has like the the blades coming down and the rocks at the bottom. And he pulls some Robin moves out. Whitney had a good point during this thing. The blades are coming down and every time they show the the ah plate of blades, it it's going. <unk> and she's like good thing I made sharp noises I wouldn't have known yeah that sounds dangerous because if you look at it it's as dull as cardboard but the only reason I bring it up is because of his Super Mario Brothers rocket boots and I mean the movie not the video game because that's how he gets out of it he's got rocket boots that launch him and then he twists the thing something something physics and hits that trap door beautifully, by the way. Yes, he does. He knows how to hit a back entrance. And now we get a chase meridian. Ask all of his exes. Oh, my God. Well, I mean, they're dead. I mean, how do you think Michelle Pfeiffer liked it? She's a cat. Me. Ow. Me. Ow. Indeed. He say ow.
01:50:48
Speaker
Do bats have hooked penises like cats? Oh god, who could know? Questions that don't mean answer. A veterinarian? A cryptozoologist? They might know. I work on doge coins. Someone's like, well, manba does ah man Man-bat's real. Yeah, man-bat's real. It's kind of like Batman, but more bat and less man. Mm hmm. OK. And also laziest villain ever, right? So we hit the sparkly suit. Jim Carrey going full fucking Liberace. may Like they're like, hey, Jim, here's a well, I guess if this is an 80s movie. Hey, Jim, here's a bucket of cocaine. Yeah. And a sparkly suit. No, this is a bunch of ah coffee and no does. Yeah. they do You want to go back to sleeping in your car?
01:51:26
Speaker
ah Give it to us. He got his caffeine out of us right before he came on stage. It'll kill you. Hold on. Is that an option? It'll help your stomach. No, it won't. I don't think it will. This is one of his best delivered lines as the riddler when Batman first comes in, because it's the riddle me this, riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big black bat? Yes, I do like it. It's very villainous. It's very comic booky. And I did read a thing and I guess they ended up using it in a video game. um But when Batman came in, it was supposed to be like basically a big buff riddler. But when he like attacks it, it breaks open and little skinny riddlers inside, which would be like it's him doing a carnival game thing like he's been doing this whole time. Yeah, that's kind of cool. Yeah, it would make him look intimidating when you first see him, even though he's the riddler. yeah Exactly. Based on this movie, it would look stupid. Oh, yeah. But the idea was cool, and I i read they used it in one in a video game, and I was like, well, I'll play that one. Yeah, figure out which one it is. i might It must have been one of those Arkham games, and those are fun. It's like Assassin's Creed, but you're Batman. It's even better. Assassin's Creed's stupid story. Yeah. Yes. I like the story. Yeah, we'll go watch the Michael Fosbender movie. Oh, we don't talk about that.
01:52:33
Speaker
I don't like that story. The only cool part about that was that he actually jumped off of a giant tower for his like his whatever bird's nest thing. Leap of faith. Leap of faith. There you go. Same thing. Bird's nest, leap of faith. Bird a thousand times. And this is when he has the line you had at the beginning of the movie because he's talking about stealing the IQ from everybody. He's addicted to brainwaves. Yes. He's like, and if knowledge is power, then God am high. and like I like to get the harmonization going. Yeah, it's going to sound nice. Was that too much? I can never tell. Which I think was actually just Jim Carrey asking Joel Schumacher. Right. The director. No, I keep it. This fucking Tommy Lee Jones is nodding vigorously. It's always too much. Jim Carrey at this point is like Tommy's giving me a look. Is that is that too much? And he's like stop calling me Tommy. It's Thomas. Thomas. Mr. Lee Jones to you. Right. I could see that.
01:53:28
Speaker
Sorry, I thought Lee Jones is just your last name. It'd be a great last name. It's French for the Jones. So we've got like a classic thing here. We've got Chase Meridian locked in one like a pneumatic tube. Robin locked in the other. You can only save one. You can save Bruce or Batman. Yep. You love this one. You like that one a little bit. I like how he's like his trustee assistants. And I'm like that you just discovered moments ago because he didn't exist when you set this plan up. Where'd these two tubes come from? He's he knew is going to happen. He's like, look, someone's go. It might have been Alfred. Yeah, they were going to get Alfred. Yeah. And they're like, Alfred, like, sir, please let me die. Are we saving the man for Bruce Wayne or the woman for Bruce Wayne? Shit.
01:54:12
Speaker
Alfred's integral to fucking Batman. yeah Yeah. He's just cook, mechanic, planner. He's also integral to Bruce Wayne. and Bruce Wayne, if Alfred left, I think we saw it in the the Nolan movies. Alfred left in like fucking... Christian Bale? Christian Bale. I kind of want to say Patrick Bateman. I was close. Yeah, yeah I would have gotten it. Christian Bale is like clueless. He's like, he gets out of bed. He's like, Alfred, where am I underwear? Alfred! I guess I'll just die then. and Nobody laid out my suit for the day. I guess I'll just live in here like Leonardo DiCaprio at the end of Aviator. How do you make coffee? He just bought a coffee fucking station. I was like, just give me, just bring me one. The way of the future. The way of the future. I own you.
01:54:53
Speaker
on two faces being his hype man this whole time, which is great because he's I don't remember the exact deliveries now, but it's like, you know, this or that. And he's like, yeah, this or that? Like he's just in the background like, yeah, what he said. He didn't have anything else to do. yeah You see my giant clock? Only half of it. Half of its digital half of its analog. I never know what time it is. I cannot read this thing. it's I love it, but it's impractical. So he tricks the riddler with a riddle. Well, it doesn't really turn into a riddle. It's as stupid as one. Just distracts him, I guess. I can't see. I can hear really well. I can see it without seeing. I can see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. You must be blind as a bat. Just like you fucking. He shoots a thing at the skylight there. It's the new sonar suit that he just added, which makes no sense because like, what are you using the sonar suit for? Just throw your fucking batarang. Yeah.
01:55:47
Speaker
Done. What is the sonar wasn't used when he was in the water? Like he saw the thugs like coming up to Robin, but that was on the sonar in the bat wing. They literally just said it so they could drop these eyes down and be like, oh, that's a cool new feature. But you didn't use the feature. Yeah, because I thought it was like, oh, he's going to see in the dark. He's turning the lights up. He never really does anything after that. That would have been perfect, dude. Mm hmm. Better movie. So they both get dropped. And of course he saves them both. Although, I choose both. If you've ever read a Spider-Man comic or seen the Amazing Spider-Man 2, Chase Meridian dead. Oh yeah. Robin's probably dead too. But she's good. There's a little elasticity in there. That head's going to hit.
01:56:25
Speaker
Because um this is exactly how Gwen Stacy dies, right? Like she's falling. Batman or Spider-Man in that case. But in this case, Batman goes to save them. But with Chase, he like shoots the grappling hook up and shoots one at her and like hooks her. That's why she's dead. Yeah. With Robin, and he goes down and catches him. Yeah. So at least there's going to be a little bit more. He can move his arm a little bit. You know, there's might tear his arm off the socket because this is like a 300 story fall based on how long his spine is broken. Yeah, she doesn't break her neck. Her spine is snapped in half. She doesn't have a 40 pound rubber suit on her to help. Well, the good thing is room in the dead ex-wives room. It's a big fucking house, dude. Fun while lasted. I was going to say, did you ever see Step for Wives? Maybe that's really what she was after that movie. She really was.
01:57:09
Speaker
She just puts herself back together. And Jim Carrey is getting his brain drained by the IQ machine. ah Two-Face confronts them and he's like, hey, no more curtain one, no more curtain two, just curtains. She should have done all along, but okay. But you're forgetting your rule. You gotta flip that coin, homie. You gotta bring it back, right? Because Chase Meridian said, the coin is his Achilles heel. It could be manipulated. Yeah, I know you dumb bitch. Yeah, I'm the world's greatest detective. Are you? Yes, I am. Shut the fuck up. Don't look. I trademarked it. Don't look into it. I got I got the idea from my friend Donald. He trademarked. You're fired. What does this coffee mug say? World's greatest detective. I rest my gaze. I have a friend that tries to argue that Batman's not a gadget tech superhero because he's the world's greatest detective and this martial artist. I'm like, but he's primarily a gadget hero. That yeah that is a martial artist and a detective he is those comics. But how is he is such a good detective?
01:58:06
Speaker
because of his gadgets. Yes, thank you. Yeah, I've seen it in the comics. I don't read a lot of comics, but I've seen him use like, you know, I can see footprints. I can see blood. I can see, you know, he's got gadgets. Yeah. Fucking utility belt. He's got gadgets and gizmos of plenty. It's a what's at school or you want thingamabobs? I've got 20. Oh, man. A song that you or I can't sing. Oh, I can sing it. I was just letting him go. I don't know at all. I know ah something about a wing doodler. I want to be where the people are. Okay, sorry. We can go on, but we shouldn't. Yes. welcome We're going to have a little mermaid day and just sing to each other the whole fucking day. We'll try and top that. so We see Jim Carrey all fucking dilapidated. This is what he looks like after a fucking bender. Oh, man. oh because i didn't We didn't mention it. We didn't finish it. Two face flips the coin. Batman's like, got you, bitch. Pocket full of coins. Pocket coins. Pocket coins. And he's trying to catch them all because he's an idiot and falls and dies. Although he doesn't die because you do see him. We see his hand and the coin lands in it and he grabs it. He holds it. So muscle memory, dude.
01:59:12
Speaker
Two faces and dead. And then here we got Robin. Now he's a waterman. Well, why do you kill him? I was supposed to kill. Exactly. Robin's like, you've been telling me not to kill him this whole time. But I was like, yeah, but I've already killed. I'm already fucked up. That's how I knew. I was telling you not to take the low road. I told you to take the high road so I could take the low road. There's less room down there. if i Look, you're wearing green and red. I'm wearing black. One of us kills. One of us doesn't. You're Santa Claus. You guess who? You're Santa Claus. I'm Krampus. We got this. And then he tells um the Riddler, he's like, jokes on you, bitch, because now I'm Bruce Wayne and Batman because I choose to be something. handsome man Batman forever now. Oh, he does say something about he does something, about something, something forever. And i was like he said it. and she yeah He didn't say Batman forever. And I was like, it's close enough. It's it's in there. It was Batman saying forever. It counts. ah Tim Burton's version would have been called Batman continues. He said that Batman forever sounds like.
02:00:09
Speaker
A fragrance, I think is what he said. Oh, man. Forever drives a cat's wild. I know quite a few people that would buy that. and larry Oh, yeah. And usually I'd be like, this movie is over and it needs to be over. But I do enjoy Jim Carrey's performance in this very last scene. ah they they They say, you know who Batman is? Like, I can't tell you if you don't say please. I'm Batman. He's got a straight jacket unbuckled. Oh, yeah. Flapping his wings. Dude, I love it. There's times when being unrealed in, you know, unrained is good. Yeah. Unhinged carry at his best. Yeah. And then credits. And we get the U2 song. Hold me, kiss me, kill me, throw me. Throw me, kill me, kiss me, kill me. Yeah. What did you say? You said it right. Throw me, chill me, kiss me, kill me.
02:00:54
Speaker
And then we get you ah la ra do but baberdus weird aduro exactly words. so ma but who the miles who do do Ladies and gentlemen, seal is in the building. Would you say that about my skin, dude?
02:01:13
Speaker
And that's it. So we'll go around the horn for recommendations. We're going to start with our guests. So recommendation? Recommendation. Would I recommend this to anyone? Yeah. Um, you know, if you're a real big Batman fan or if you're a fan of camp and cheese, um, if you want a serious dark night movie, avoid like the plague. I'm always afraid of taking cheese camping. I might know. It goes sour. Life? I was going to let Jack go. I was going in our usual order. You're over there. Oh, I'll recommend you for sure. caveats. I liked it more when I was drinking with friends with it because it's not a movie to be taken seriously, but it's a movie to watch and enjoy.
02:01:50
Speaker
Um, I've seen it multiple times. It's not a bad movie. Like you, I've definitely watched worse. Yeah, you can watch this, but again, Jack's caveats, friends drinking, don't watch it in the complete dark in the cold and got bundled up in a blanket when. Unless you want to fall asleep, go to Derek's recommendation, watch it in the dark with a in the cold. Well, so, uh, I kind of agree with your caveats, except I had a lot better time watching it alone, but that was also my first time watching it in 15 years. That's fair. This is my second time in like two months. Yeah. Yeah. But I would still recommend it. I think it's fun. ah It the beginning is really rough. Like the first 25 minutes of this movie, I was i every e both times I was like, God, this sucks. Yeah, you could speed this up. Sucks. But once we get the villains and we get the story going, I'm i'm enjoying it. I like the neon soaked whatever.
02:02:40
Speaker
Uh, it's a lot, but it's good. It doesn't match what Batman should be, but I think it fits the era because this was like, like Batman and Batman Returns came in like the, uh, the cocaine hangover of America. So like dark was good, but now we're in the ecstasy phase of America. already yeah so That makes sense. Fight Molly. I enjoy Jim Carrey despite the the the shit I was giving him. I enjoy Tommy Lee Jones a lot in this. I think Val Kilmer is fine. He's like whole Nicole Kidman can take a long walk off a short pier. Oh, yeah. I've always said you guys have heard me say multiple times, the three of you, that i Val Kilmer is my least favorite. Yeah, that's fair. I'm not going to I'm not going to try and argue my point to anybody else's. You know, you like what you like. Yeah, that's fine.
02:03:28
Speaker
And, you know, Joel Schumacher does make good movies like he he's mostly known, at least at least I think within us as this and Batman and Robin. But he did a movie you recently watched that you talked about on our Patreon newsletter. DC Cab. Oh, yeah. That's that's Joel Schumacher. Yeah. He directed Lost Boys, Flatliners, Falling Down, The flat a Time to Kill, Eight Millimeter. So he's done good movies or at least fun movies. Did he do that? Jim Carrey, number 23, one where he's yes. Yeah. OK. He's talking about good movies. I guess he had said after this that he didn't want to work with Kerry or Jones again because he's like, they were just they wouldn't stop bickering. They were paying the ass, whatever. But that was 15 years later. So I guess he was like, well.
02:04:09
Speaker
I was like, maybe I have one of them. Just not together anymore. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You sit on that side of the class and you sit on that side of the class, children. Just throwing papers back and forth and disrupting the whole class now. Do you hate me? Yes or no? That's it for this episode. Thank you, Vern, for joining us. Thank you. Thank you. Golf clap for Vern.
02:04:31
Speaker
I thought he was smacking his face again and I got really excited. So in in August, Vern, we do bird movies last month. Last year we called it Back to School Month. I think it's just shitbirds. It's just shitbirds. Little kids. Movies about stupid baby children. OK. I'm not sure what we're doing for our classic movie yet, but I have an idea. And but I think it might be. ah Oh, okay. So if you want to come back for that, I'm 100% down. Wow. 100%. Yes. We can make fun of it. Yeah, we can. but There's plenty. No, no, no, no. We're making fun of them making fun of that. So we might have you back for that one. That'll be an interesting conversation. and I'm still thinking about it, but... yeah I know. it's It's a dangerous topic.
02:05:15
Speaker
I just don't know what to do with a classic movie that's terrible with children that isn't boring. right That might be boring. figured out That might be boring. I don't know. That's it for this week.
Podcast Promotions and Closing Remarks
02:05:24
Speaker
Don't forget to check out our Patreon, patreon dot.com slash where's people three dollars a month. You get mental health movies every month. This month's episode is Batman Returns, as we reference during this episode. ah You'll have access to our February, March, April, May. That's the order months go. All those episodes. Plus, you get early access to Hahn Took Shots First, which is the other podcast that Jack and I do and Whitney may guest on here and there, where we talk about Star Wars in chronological order. You can find that at hahntookshotsfirstpod.com. Our website is badmovieswarespeople.com. You can find that on all your social stuff. Thank you to Evasion for opening and closing music. I have been Derek. Burn.
02:06:03
Speaker
I'm Jackman. I'm still Whitney, guys. Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?
02:06:37
Speaker
I don't wanna talk about Easter eggs and butts, dude.