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Ep 128: Fire Birds
69 Plays1 month ago
We kick off Made in Arizona month with a Nic Cage/Tommy Lee Jones banger! FIRE BIRDS is essentially a Top Gun rip-off, but with helicopters and less Scientology, and we had a great time with it. Nic Cage plays hotshot helicopter pilot Jake Preston, who gets accepted into an Apache training program to fly missions against America's biggest enemy at the time: drug cartels! Tommy Lee Jones has to train him, and Sean Young has to endure his constant sexual harassment.
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Transcript
Introduction and Humor with Derek and Whitney
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back for the first episode of Made in Arizona Month. And this week, shoot them, blast them, nab them, grab them, shake them, bake them, cook them, clean them, close them, broil them, kick them, nab them, twist them. All gone. Bye bye, bro. Bye bye. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I am the greatest. This is Bad Movies. Worst People.
00:00:56
Speaker
So Shaggy's gone now. That was Shaggy the dog. Pop it. Pull it. Skip it. Jump it. That was so hard ah so hard to try to read. you know It's probably because he didn't read it. He fucking just did that on the spot. Just like when he starts yelling, I'm the greatest. That's why they made this movie because he was sitting somewhere yelling that like film this, write a movie around it.
00:01:21
Speaker
yeah They let him cage out and I love when cage gets to cage. It's it's yeah kind of some early caging, right? Yeah. um I mean, we already had Vampires Kiss and... First of all, what is this and what year is it?
Discussion of 'Firebirds' and Filming in Arizona
00:01:37
Speaker
Oh, maybe we didn't have Vampires... Yeah, we did. Anyway, this is Firebirds from 1990, starring one Nicolas Cage and and one Tommy Lee Jones. oh hu And one Sean Young. And directed by a director everybody knows, David Green, who directed the movie Buster, starring Phil Collins.
00:01:59
Speaker
Oh, that classic that no one knows about. no I mean, that's about it. No one's crapping around this movie. He directed a bunch of BBC shit and the last thing he directed, he's still alive, but the last thing he directed was 2003 BAFTA Awards. So. Oh, poor feller.
00:02:20
Speaker
um what he's doing have fall how someone has fallen yorks have fallen
00:02:29
Speaker
and wonderful 85 minutes by the way yes felt nice and easy in and out and because i'll be honest it's sorry the movie cota starts a little slow like i mean i know there's like action right away but like just then we start to get this training thing which is fine and its cage right off the bat is boring
00:02:57
Speaker
the array and ah really would like to go kill him on a kill him machine and i'm willing to kill so let's go yeah exactly it does that but then he gets uncaged as we love yeah yeah because at the very beginning so i've seen this kind of saw this movie once um when we were drinking at my house doing barley fest i it one of the many movies i put on in the background so that's the real scene you kind of watched it twice Yeah, I mean, i struggle vision I saw the simulator stuff and I was like, man, this movie is all simulator stuff. And then we watched it and I'm like, oh, but not nearly as much as I thought. so Yeah. But yeah, it starts out and he's he's got that like, oh, like you said. And I was like, well, this is going to be a shit performance. He doesn't give a fuck about this movie.
00:03:49
Speaker
Yeah, because I have seen this, by the way, but it was probably around 1990. My dad's a military guy that will watch anything that comes out that's got military. So especially we were coming off of Top Gun success. I almost guarantee my pops watched this with like we rented it and watched it. When the opening credits came on, I felt like I had seen this with my parents at some point too. Oh, speaking of opening credits, how beautiful were those sunset letters?
00:04:15
Speaker
Yeah. Did you notice it? like it I just loved it. I want that font. Ooh, maybe I'll hit up zip and that's my lettering for my tattoo. There you go.
Where to Watch 'Firebirds'
00:04:25
Speaker
But before we get too far, let me tell people where they can watch this if they'd like. ah So this one keeps coming up recently, but it's on Hoopla. So you can watch it for free there. ah You can rent it on Amazon for $3.59 or Apple for $3.99, or you can buy it on either one for about 13 bucks.
00:04:45
Speaker
Now, do you have some fucking shout factory beautiful 4K thing to talk about? I know you do. No, I don't. I just watch this on the Internet. Oh, I thought you would own this. That's crazy. No, I own a bunch of cage movies, not surprisingly, but not this one. OK, we'll fix that.
00:05:05
Speaker
I mean, and you mentioned Top Gun, so right out of the gate, we'll get it out of the way. This is Top Gun with helicopters. I'm sorry. Helicopters. Helicopters. It's his twist gun. um With ah I mean in the IMDB trivia, which is mostly stupid and and useless um One of the things was like This is trivia. This is known amongst critics as Top Gun with helicopters. I'm like, well, it's not trivia. I watched the fucking movie. I know what it is Yeah, that's dumb trivia. We don't like that
00:05:38
Speaker
But we are discussing this because it was filmed not primarily in but all in Arizona, mostly in Tucson. Yeah. Arizona rules. Yeah, no, you could definitely tell. I recognize some of these areas. Yeah, we've got ah we've got the foothills up there. Hacienda del Sol. We've got Amphi High School, which I'll tell you guys about. We've got Pima Community College West.
00:06:05
Speaker
which is way the because i asked i was like well is this supposed to be like davis monten and he's like no it's a fake fake base because their army not air force and we don't have an army base in tucson so they made a base out of pima community college campus ah but it's actually more dangerous when it's just the campus But so this is written by a bunch
Screenplay and Story Credits
00:06:32
Speaker
of people. um Always a good sign, by the way. Well, so we have three people credited for the story and then two credited for the screenplay. So two of the people credited for the story, Step Tyner and John K. Swenson. This is their only credit.
00:06:49
Speaker
OK. And presumably they are friends or ah like squad mates or whatever with the other guy who is Dale Dye, who actually plays um whatever guy that's in charge. Michael Michael. Oh, yeah. The the dude, the the fucking mustachio gentleman that is making me out of being a military guy.
00:07:09
Speaker
I was he's so he has one other writing credit besides this and obviously he wrote it, you know, army. He's obviously a retired military. Mm hmm. But he was a Marine because oh his only other his only other writing credit is additional dialogue in a movie called Operation Rainfall, where he's credited as Dale Die USMC. So So they hired him to make the people in that movie, which looks awful, by the way, i just from the poster. he They hired him. to They hired this guy to make that sound like they were actually in the military and probably a bunch of Canadian actors. OK.
00:07:47
Speaker
This guy was in a bunch of shit, and it's almost all as a military person. I mean, he's in Platoon, born on the 4th of July, JFK guarding tests, and then the actual screenplay was written by two guys, one named Nick Feel, who wrote on some episodes of Burn Notice, White Collar Elementary, so he does like TV. We are talking some USA garbage that I love.
00:08:10
Speaker
and then a guy named paul f edwards who wrote fucking edwards so episodes of the show v ah some episodes of baywatch nights which i was just telling both of my co-hosts about Um, that'll probably be at least sporadic episodes of latchkey vids in the future. Yeah, please. Those who don't know, Baywatch nights is not just like sexy Baywatch or Baywatch where they're guarding the ocean. That's what I think. It's like Baywatch meets silk stocks and silk stock stockings on USA nights. Right. That's what I was thinking. No, no, it is. say It's more like Baywatch meets supernatural.
00:08:51
Speaker
That blows my mind. So we're talking like Van Helswim. Yes. Yep. Terrible timing for a pun. I felt like that just fell so flat and I was so happy I made it up on the spot. again If you would have feel like editing Van Helswim.
00:09:12
Speaker
No, it was a good one. I was just in the middle of puffing, and it made me die. And I coughed. Good. um Good. um This gentleman also wrote a movie that I have to show you guys a poster for. It'll pop up on your screen here, because I figured out how to do this like a professional now. Is it going to be Cynthia Rothrock? No. It's a movie starring Judge Reinhold called Runaway Car. And just take a look at this poster and tell me that we don't need to watch this. Oh my god. I need to watch that right now.
00:09:42
Speaker
Speeding 100 miles. With the glasses of Jeffrey Dahmer, the haircut of a lawyer, the suit of a tired banker, runaway car, somehow there's a helicopter coming out of the flames. Is there a rope coming off of that car? I don't know if you guys notice, but at the bottom it says a true story. Oh. Based on a true story that we completely made up.
00:10:11
Speaker
So, yeah, I saw that poster and I was like, all right, I got to figure out how to put this on the screen. Yeah, I'm excited for that already. So I mean, even if we don't talk about it, yeah, even if we don't talk about it, we have to watch that.
Financial Outcome of 'Firebirds'
00:10:26
Speaker
Sure. But so we'll play the did this movie make money game. ah So twenty two million dollars is the budget. OK. Damn. How about the budget?
00:10:40
Speaker
it did not make that it married it's not been so well recently would you say eight 18 I guess what is closest about going over 14.7 what I win is right wheels iron also the OK. It's tradition. Whitney. um My mom did it. It's good enough for her. Well, you know what your mom didn't do? Your mom didn't like elocaptors. You know what your mom didn't do? Make your dad pull out. Oh, I mean, not that bad. I'm glad that Nick Cage's mom, you know, took that load. Same. We have been blessed with some really true greatness.
00:11:40
Speaker
Yeah, great miss. So the movie starts with a quote from George Bush, and I didn't get a chance to get the whole thing down, but it's like our message to drug cartels basically like we're coming for you. Oh, you could do a better Bush than that.
00:12:24
Speaker
Hey, Bob, you're anything from Mexico? We're gone. We would never do anything like that. That's like, I just, not or anybody that knows their they the American history, it's just like, we're going to help you guys out. We're like, with America, we're going to take down these partials. Yeah, we fucked up a lot of things. and we we We did not win that one. Hey look, it's Judge Reinhold again.
00:12:50
Speaker
you almost are he almost has a george burst hey car's getting away run away car eight but barb she wait a a a a
00:13:13
Speaker
But so we meet our our hero, Mr. Nick Cage, right out of the gate, playing Jake Preston.
Character Introductions: Nicolas Cage and Tommy Lee Jones
00:13:22
Speaker
They're going into an area of offensive drug cartel activity. And at first, I thought he meant offensive, not offensive. I'll tell you what they're doing. What they're doing over there is offensive. I can't abide by it. And using the effort and not talking about fuck.
00:13:41
Speaker
Right out of the gate, we got a bunch of dead people. ah Dobbs, whoever the fuck that guy was, he's no more. we him And his death is impacting. Like I didn't I didn't see him in the credits, like in the IMDB at first. And I was like, oh, who's Dobbs? I went to look it up and then I was like, oh, never mind.
00:14:03
Speaker
He came out just as fast as he came in. Story of my life.
00:14:13
Speaker
this Me neither. Sign me up. Do you want to help me find a comfortable spot in is life to wait and die? We'll wait and die together. Hello. I like reading books, mostly on the backs of shampoo bottles and conditioners. not a place for you to pick up women although you can try I like long walks in video games, and I love taking chances in the game of Risk.
00:14:50
Speaker
There you go. Now you can just submit that to a video dating service. You're good to go. You also forgot. God, you forgot to include you have a decision making coin. ah That's true. Well, that's second date material. You don't need to know about my fucking coin that I travel with. Why didn't you call me for a second date? Why didn't you call me for a second date? Well, the coin said no. Coin said not today, Satan. What that?
00:15:17
Speaker
But yeah, he gives his like, um, I was gonna say impassioned speech, but dispassioned speech, like they're heroes and they should be avenged. Yeah. Uh, I think we should go kill him. I'm chomping at the bit. Anybody else as mad as I am. I am hopping mad. Piss right off.
00:15:36
Speaker
I get where he's trying to come from. He's trying to be cool calm collected But he is upset because he's not trying to piss off like be that Wild card character or his actor like that's just not him wet him be you got to let him do it Let him cage fine if he's like was all do his back. That's bullshit. I am the greatest day often get it yeah you know no day Hey, you get the fuck out of here before we get you the fuck out of the army. Something like that. know we b um So yeah, before this, we had gotten full cage. So I just looked at my, my challenge list for myself. Uh, 365 days of Nick cage here on letterbox. Uh, so we'd gotten Valley girl, which is a mellower caging out.
00:16:22
Speaker
But then we had that's when he was still trying to find his cage. Yeah. Then we had Peggy Sue got married where he is just fucking just all over the place on that one. Eighty s six. I think. a Yes. Eighty six b six. And then and then raising Arizona moonstruck vampires kiss and wild at heart. We're all before this. All right. Oh, yeah, he does go full cage and pretty much all those.
00:16:51
Speaker
Oh, you are. I'll redact my statement, and I, in fact, have been sold a lot. carried proceed There's a whole room of, like, Joint Chiefs of Staff or whatever, but the two that matter are ah McNeil, who's played by Dale Dye, who I mentioned, came up with the story for this, and General Olcott, who's barely in the movie, but he matters to us because he is played by a guy named J.A. Preston, who was in Remo Williams, The Adventure Begins. Isn't Cage's name Jack Preston? Yeah, Jay Preston. Jay Preston.
00:17:25
Speaker
And then this guy's name is J.A. Preston. I was wondering being how I fucking knew this cat. Yeah, he's he's a the very Scottish sounding Khan McCleary in Remo Williams. The adventure begins. Oh, I'm calling the clinic. You know, I come from Oakland. And the pond. He shows up for a fashion in Air Force One, but small, small part. yeah So I think I'm going to do this this cage thing with Derek.
00:17:56
Speaker
I mean, you're gonna end up watching most of them with me, probably. yeah wow You're gonna be like, might as well make a part of your idea. Right? I might as well like jump on that bandwagon. Well, I started early because, spoiler to the people listening and watching, ah this episode comes out in February, but we're recording it on December 30th. So this is my first dive into 365 days of Cage. I know his dive. I know how to pull out. I took him vertical.
00:18:25
Speaker
but rupert So we go to Fort Mitchell, which is at Pima Community College West. We meet Tommy Lee Jones, who I did not know he was. it I don't pay attention to who's going to be on the movie. And I saw him and I was like, oh, Tommy. Really cool surprise when people pop up. the I like to, you know how Dave Anthony goes into his podcast, not knowing shit or not. Dave Anthony, Gareth, Gareth Reynolds. Yeah. Um, and not knowing shit. I'm like, that's a fun way of doing life. I want to do that. oh Yeah. I like to go through life, not knowing shit. Like we do the secret movies and Derek's Derek tries to figure out what movie it is. And I'm like, I'm just going to go and enjoy my popcorn.
00:19:07
Speaker
I mean, that's it for me. I'm like, well, I'm sitting in some usually air conditioned theater, even popcorn, hanging out with friends. I'm going to get my five bucks worth. Yeah. I'm going to sit here. I'm finishing my popcorn, dude. So Tommy Lee Jones is playing Brad Little. He's there to teach them to help them master air to air combat because they're all masters of air to ground. But who else has helicopters? Well, I mean, but also so air to ground. Not that hard to master, dude. You just fly above them and shoot them fucking down and don't let them shoot you back. Done. Just hover ah hover above and rain death and we have to confront the forces of evil and kill them deader than hell There's so many this I'm glad you're as like there's somebody I wrote down that are just like a plot important But just really fucking fun things to say just good Tommy Lee lines ah Tommy Lee by the way is loving this movie
00:20:00
Speaker
I could listen to his voice. Like, his voice is meant to be over radio. Yes. Like, when he's on that headset, I'm just like, more of that, please. Can we get, like, a Tommy Lee Jones app where he just reads the stories to me? Right? On the Echo, you could have Sam Jackson. Why can't we have Tommy? Yeah, why can't we get Tommy Lee Jones? Turn bullshit down. Turn on some Elvis. You can get Alec Baldwin, and it's really creepy. I don't want any part of that. I put it on once, and I don't know how to turn it off.
00:20:29
Speaker
So if I, if I set an alarm on my echo, it goes, uh, when it goes off, it's like, no, it's like, Hey there, time to wake up. Come on. You gotta get going for your day. Like, Oh dude, just get out of my house. That is terrifying. You keep it in your pants, dude. Actually, let me keep it in my pants. It sounds like you're about to take it out.
00:20:54
Speaker
He sounds as pushy as Nicolas Cage in this movie. Girl, that's the first half of this movie. I was like, he's supposed to be our hero, right? Like, yeah, I was only expecting some sort of roofy scene coming up with how he's fucking throwing it.
00:21:09
Speaker
But so basically space pay special attention to Nicolas Cage because surprise. He's the best. He's the greatest. Just like the best around. Yeah. Like it says down there. I am the greatest other side. I guess it is over there. Yeah. I bet I'll fuck it up a bunch. Oh, see, I did it right. so I don't remember what the context for this line is, but it's another good Tommy Lee Jones line. ah You're going to be as busy as a three peckered goat when they're sitting in the cockpit and he told you to drive.
00:21:44
Speaker
But what's the con? Oh, it's when he's telling about how to fly the plane. He's got to fly and shoot and be in the helicopter and you got to fly and shoot and point and steer and correct him. Well, I thought you didn't understand the analogy. Like, go to the point. And if you had three peckers, you'd have to fuck three times more. No, I just couldn't remember the context for why Tommy Lee Jones said that. And it's funny because you you read that and it's pretty obviously a Tommy Lee Jones line, but it could also very easily be a Nicolas Cage line. So. Oh, yeah. I'll be the three pecker. Go.
00:22:33
Speaker
I don't know about all of the stuff they said about it, but it's... I didn't write it down, because it's been the trivia. opter It's some kind of Swedish attack helicopter, so it can't be that good. All right, that's already fake. Swedes don't attack. Everyone knows that. This is this is a Swedish attack helicopter. It sounds like some sex move before anything else. Can I get the Swedish helicopter to go? Ooh, the attack helicopter. Good. It's got scream. I gave her the old Swedish attack helicopter, if you know what I'm saying. Oh, you dog. yes please
00:23:28
Speaker
Yeah, I do believe i've seen that she's on the poster. Yeah, i think i i was go say if I'm remembering, she's his love interest. And then she also she's in so she's in Blade Runner. Yeah, of course. She's the one that you might not know that I think you would enjoy. It's a spoof movie with Armando Santi and her and it's called.
00:24:12
Speaker
Probably why she got cast for her part in Ace Ventura. Spoilers for Ace Ventura, but. trust He found Captain Winky. She has a penis. but um and Oh, she's also in Dune, David Lynch's Dune. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:24:30
Speaker
So he's trying to ask her out for a drink. And so this confused me for the first half of the movie because he sees her and he's like, Hey, you want me to read a drink? And she's like, no, I'm like, okay, cool. He's interested. Fine. Yeah. You don't know there's a hidden thing. Yeah. And then in a little while they go, they go to the laundromat. They go to the laundromat and she's like, he's hitting on her and she's like, we're not doing this again. And I'm like, is there a cut scene? Like, no, they just met.
00:24:52
Speaker
When they get out of the helicopters after that first drive around, once he's done being a three-peckered goat in a fucking chicken house, he he gets out, and Tommy Lee Jones introduces them, and they like look at each other, and he she says his name, like because they say this is Preston, and this is yada-yada, and she's like, hey, Jake, like she said his first name, and then Tommy Lee Jones says, do you have a problem with women in the military? He's like, no, just that one. Only that one.
00:25:16
Speaker
so like i mean it was pretty i thought it was pretty written out for at least for me to like this is an x boyfriend girlfriend situation okay see i took it when he said that as more of like like i don't know i don't like her being in here because i want a banngger and i'm because she will like oh okay i could see that though like i don't like that one because she won't sleep with me Yeah, but yeah she turns them down um multiple times. We have a few shots throughout this of McNeil getting debriefs about the cartel. Like this guy's whole job on this movie, besides coming up with the story, was he does the intro and then he sits in a room and just records all of his stuff in one day and then he shows up for the last scene. Yeah, yeah he's barely there. Yeah, all of his stuff is in a chair watching screens. He's very Wilford Brimley and Remo Williams.
00:26:07
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Guy in the chair. I didn't see that one guy, sorry. Don't be. Let's watch it. Has it been long enough now that you're like, I want to watch it again. I want to see what your wife did. There's a couple scenes in a movie that made me genuinely laugh. It's usually the guy in, i forgive the term, a yellow face. Yeah.
00:26:29
Speaker
Yeah, it's a it's a egregious makeup. What I remember the most about that movie is Fred Ward diving into a pile of sand and popping out of the top like Bugs Bunny. Best scene in the movie. And there was a fight on the Statue of Liberty. Second best scene in the movie.
00:26:46
Speaker
And he cuts a hole in glass with a diamond that's on the bad guy's tooth. Patrick Kilpatrick, third best in the movie. So I remember the three best scenes of the movie. I remember listening to you guys talk about it like the podcast, because I listen. I i'd listen. You should listen to. Well, if they're listening to this, they listen. It's stopped from the solo listeners on listening to us.
00:27:10
Speaker
If you do want to sell them, sell them patreon dot.com slash Where's People for only $3 a month, where you get two bonus episodes every month. What do they mean for it to turn into an ad? Well, why not? um So the bad guy, the main bad guy, besides just generic drug cartels, is this guy, Eric Stoller, who's played by someone named Burt Rine. And I thought he looked familiar, so I looked him up. Literally his only movie, so he does not look familiar. He looks i believe i the professional.
00:27:37
Speaker
Oh, I was thinking he looks like an off brand. Svenal Thorsen. Oh, dude. Yeah. This guy wishes he was Svenal Thorsen's pubes. Svenal Thorsen. No. Who's the guy you're talking about? Oh, the helicopter, the bad guy helicopter pilot. Oh, yeah. At one shot, I was like, George Clooney.
00:27:55
Speaker
Fat, fat old George Clooney. Fat old. yeah George Clooney today, even though he's still not fat. I was going to say, we're never going to get fat old Clooney. We're just going to get still sexy old Clooney. Yeah, you guys suck. He's gonna be the sexiest fucking casket in the goddamn cemetery.
00:28:10
Speaker
ah Speaking of caskets, did anybody else notice that the drop chief of staff table looked like a coffin? Oh, no, I didn't. i is that ah hundred percent i'm used to like the big round room thing you know where it's a huge big round table with all the guys around it this was like it literally it's like it was coffin shapeped it was a diamond with flat top and bottom a little ominous
00:28:37
Speaker
So they have a birthday party for Tommy Lee Jones, which I'm only going to mention because this is the first appearance of a guy who's going to be on the podcast well on the Patreon a lot for the next few months. Because in the background, you see Rice, who is played by peterar Peter Peter Onorati, who is Detective LaRusso on Cop Rock. Dude, Cop Rock is so goddamn fun. I never thought I'd say this. Hold your horses, guys. Cop Rock is more fun than Renegade.
00:29:07
Speaker
I said it, suck the bleep. It is more fun. suck All right, if Lorenzo Lamas just busted out into his song every now and then, I caught the bad guy. He's in the handcuffs. We could talk again. That bitch killed my wife. Well, if they had made it. Did you know my wife is dead? Getting to speak my wife is dead. If they made Renegade now, there would at least be that one obligatory musical episode that most shows seem to throw in. Yeah. Why do they do that?
00:29:34
Speaker
for just for the people that are like, I don't like that show, but it has a musical episode. All right, I'll check it out. I'm in. But yeah, Derek could text us and said, keep your eyes out for a cop rock cameo. And I was looking way too hard because there's so many like nobody actors in at cop rock. And I'm like, is it this guy in the background? Was it him? Was it their father? This guy walked up like, yes, that's it. Right there. Easy enough to spot.
00:30:00
Speaker
Well, you see him really closely um at the surprise party. He's like center stage in the background. Oh, I didn't catch him. The surprise party. I caught him walking up to the helicopter with him. So I missed. I missed the obvious one. Yeah, we see him later. ah we if We see him obviously straight on because he becomes a character at the end of the movie. But I wouldn't have seen him here. Whitney was like, oh, there's the resource. So then I started looking and he's he's at the party. He's just in the background. I think he's wearing a party hat.
00:30:25
Speaker
No, that's why I recognize him. I don't know. He was smiling, so you wouldn't recognize him. He wasn't shooting the handcuff people. Hard to tell. Fun fact about this surprise party, but I'll say it when we get there. What were there? Oh, surprise party. Guess where this was filmed. Oh, that's the nightclub. The surprise party. That's what I thought at first. Well, that's coming up here. We'll just talk about the nightclub real quick. OK. It's right after the flight simulator, but since she brought it up,
00:30:53
Speaker
If anybody has ever been to a strip club, a speedway in Craigroft and Tucson called Tenz. Yeah. At the time it was VIP show club. Do you remember what I think it was before we were in high school? I think it changed. It changed when we were in high school. I've only known it as Tenz. I mean, I wasn't, I wasn't on the up and up in high school strip clubs, except for the Empress. Cause I was 18 and older.
00:31:34
Speaker
No, I've only ever been to Bunny Ranch once, never went to Empress, but Empress is now a CVS. Bunny Ranch is still a strip club. I do remember that the Empress was right next to McDonald's. Yeah, the Empress became a CVS. I remember reading, no one cares about this, but I'm gonna tell it anyway. I remember reading an article because apparently- It's Arizona month, we're talking about Tucson strip clubs. Nothing can be more fucking resident.
00:31:56
Speaker
the The people in the neighborhood were trying to get the places that they didn't approve of being to be closed down. And I remember reading about Empress being shut down and they were like, well, now there's just two more businesses that cater to those people that we need to get rid of. One of them was Bunny Ranch, which is now something else I can't remember. And then the other one would be Fascinations, which is right next to Bunny Ranch. Yeah. Fascinations is amazing. And you're a fucking pro. Fascinations actually used to. You mean people that like orgasms? Is that a bad thing? Right? I didn't realize that was naughty. Fascinations didn't hire me. They missed out. Yeah. But so there's a scene of flight simulator training. They knew they would have gone broke on your employee discount. yeah I'll take two. Which I guess this flight simulator is a real thing or was. It's an AH-1 flight weapons simulator for the Cobra helicopter at Western Army Aviation Training Site in Arizona.
00:32:56
Speaker
no no no this is that nintendo 64 game uh wing commander or something like that i've seen this or is this the early version minecraft i don't know about what they were seeing inside of it but the outside where you see the the little fair ride that rotates the what was the star wars star tours star tours yeah that little thing and also the back to the future ride ah we get a little thing and it goes me me me yeah yeah ah we have his his uh co-pilot or his gunner uh breaker breaker is like a mix of brian austin green and paul paul walker paul walker
00:33:34
Speaker
but Uh oh. Did Jack freeze? Jack froze and it is the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's the best picture. There you are. Hi. I can't wait till you see how you froze the first time. Oh, I'm coming back. You're like... Did you agree? Well, she said Brian Austin Green. I was like... Yes. With Paul Walker.
00:33:59
Speaker
Oh man. Right? I'll head no shoulders. like it's like if like oh It's like if Brian Austin Green or Paul Walker ever did like, I don't know, late weightlifting. Yeah. ah A little bit of Chris O'Donnell in there. Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. But except, you know, he can at least act a little.
00:34:22
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, he's a nobody. It's a guy named Brian Kessner. ah The two things I recognize from his credits were Monster Squad and The Running Man. But Running Man, he played med tech and Monster Squad. It was another and unnamed character. So yeah, as soon as you said a Running Man is like he's not a main.
00:34:55
Speaker
Yes, he plays Sub-Zero. That's right. Whitney's like, what the hell are you talking about? And why are we talking about Mortal Kombat? Yeah. Now, Professor Tanaka wife was ah the big gentleman in three ninjas that they had to practice like ah Tom Tom had to punch him in the balls or whatever happened. Oh, yeah. He's also in P.V. Herman is the is Preston's Butler. Hey, this movie has Preston.
00:35:24
Speaker
Oh, there's Preston's all over. Preston's and Shannon's. They're all connected, guys. Oh, yeah. There's a right here in this scene. So, well, they do that thing. They do that thing they do. Tommy Lee Jones keeps, you know, going harder and harder and his sidekick is like.
00:35:40
Speaker
that level's only meant for experts. And he's like, boy, if you keep making me say everything twice, I don't know why he just became Hank Hill, but it's pretty close. Yeah. So we were, we were talking about Tommy Lee Jones. We had a little momentary, uh, snafu there. So for anybody watching at home, Whitney and Jack have switched places, computers, restarting internet, da, da, da life.
00:36:05
Speaker
Poor people using cheap Arizona Internet. Yeah, thumbs it up. So let's let's get things back into order with a little bit of this.
00:36:16
Speaker
This is going to be like a fucking Letterman skit where he just always says no McDonald's note in even a normal sitting right there. o you Or it's just going to be a picture of the week. Like, what's he going to fuck with us now?
00:36:30
Speaker
No, it's going to be just the rest of our lives, dude. At least until we watch it. And even if we watch it, if it's anywhere near fun for him, like if it's not just a boring bad movie, it's going to be in our lives forever. I'm sorry. yeahre but You're not wrong. Well, as long as he lives, at least.
00:36:49
Speaker
you know he'll he'll fucking leave a ah fucking will to somebody his last will and testament is you must run by with his dvd cover at least once a month you can pick if it was me i would do one at the end of the month and one the beginning of the month like two days in a row of it a a a a
00:37:07
Speaker
But then it's only every other month, at least. It's going to be one of us having to do it to each other. Yeah. But so Tommy Lee Jones was like increasing the protocol of the whatever and his little assistant that's hanging out is like, ah sir, that's only for experts. And he's got that. If you keep making me tell you to do things twice, you know, I'm going to kick whatever dog out the head, Bobby. If you don't keep if you keep question on everything I say, I'm going to have you wash your windshields. I'll tell you. what I can't tell you what. But Nick Cade is kicking ass in this flight simulator. um He's the greatest. He's taking everybody out. they keep yeah It's just screaming over and over, I am the greatest. It starts it starts calm, though, because like I'm the greatest. And he blows, I am the greatest. And then pretty soon, if you're just walking by this simulator, you're just going, I I am the, hey, nop, nop, with me.
00:38:02
Speaker
like if somebody is walking by your house right now oh yeah can hear me like texting me you you okay buddy yeah like now just realize this whole neighborhood can hear you yelling you are the greatest well they should know sorry sorry i was just masturbating Yeah, this is where Derek gets his, ah ah the opening line from, skip it, bop it, pull it, twist it. but Yeah, shoot him, blast him, dab him, scab him, whatever. Okay, rub it down. I mean, there's all kinds of little isms, like nicknames here, like Angry Turtle, 12 o'clock, Gotham, Zapdom, snort this.
00:38:36
Speaker
just making up their own lingo as they go. So, yeah, he but then he has to put down this little monocle thing that does a target. It's a targeting computer, I guess. And he can't focus and he can't focus on it. I don't know if this is the same thing, but I know that like the Apaches, at least Craig, if I'm wrong, Tiger Tom, um when the ah the gunner moves his head, that's what controls the front gun. You don't aim that with a stick or anything. It's how you move. So this might be part of that.
00:39:04
Speaker
okay she's real fucking smart so um um i'm thinking that's something to do with that whether he's or the pilot has control of different guns or missiles yeah there's something along those lines because he's like you need to match what you're seeing on the grid with what you're seeing oh oh it's the front gun because he's the pilot right and then the other guy's the gunner so it's the front gun the pilot controls because that's what he uses to take out
00:39:32
Speaker
But so yeah, he he fucks up there, but he just still did it pretty good. Everybody's pretty happy for him He wasn't supposed to be at that level There's a there's a quick thing. I have to mention We barely see her so I wouldn't have recognized her if I didn't see her in the credits But he goes into the hangar afterwards and he goes up to this woman who's working on one of the helicopters or helping unload or something And he's like, hey Sharon, where's Billy?
Shared Cinematic Universe with Character Sharon
00:39:57
Speaker
Oh i don't know if i want to tell you well sharon sharon is played by ina shoshan ah who also played a character named sharon we know the name stone cold ah yeah i would not have pulled that so this is shared cinematic universe with this is look see this is where ah Yeah, this is where she met the guy that was there like military guy. Yeah. Oh, and got them the helicopter and stuff. crazy yeah Great. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Great. Yeah. I'll tell you what, man, this movie would have definitely been improved with a little Lance Hendrickson. Well, I mean, to be honest, what we wouldn't.
00:40:39
Speaker
valid point, but you put like nothing against, and nope, nothing pilot, no name pilot, because they do a good job of keeping him visor down, just like mysterious and dark, right? But a man in the fairways, Lance Hendrickson, I'm gonna fly up behind you and shove this rock up your fucking ass. And a priest, uniform.
00:41:00
Speaker
yeah in a uniform to v you know what i like speaking of this bad guy pilot stole her i like that even though he doesn't have lines really i don't think he has any but they give him a personality and he's like a person who you can like root against because to compare it again to top gun that's one of the things always bothered me about that and the new one the bad guys they show them but they're just black visor silent pilots like our american pilots are always chitter chattering and blip bapping back and forth yeah but we're not on their channel with those guys but they don't even they don't even they're just sitting there just like stoically uh i do believe people referencing on white people which means they are not as good at us as uh flying
00:41:42
Speaker
Well, I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be like Russians, so they're pretty white. Non-whats, as well. No, no you're 100% right. Those movies are supposed to be more about like, oh, we're against Russia, not the Russian pilots. The Russian, yeah how great would it have been if you would have like a Red Baron character, much like you're comparing to this. This guy is a Red Baron character. And they never actually say Russian pilots. They're Russian MiGs, but they are it's an unidentified enemy.
00:42:10
Speaker
in those movies because we were done with Russia pretty much. Right. So well we still aren't playboy. Well, I mean, we thought we were. We were done for about 30 years. We've got a good nap.
00:42:23
Speaker
but so he finds Billy in the laundromat doing her laundry. There's some flirty stuff. This is where we find out that they for sure that they did date before because she's like, I don't want to do this again. Let's just be friends and goes in for a kiss. And he's like, oh, I thought that was customary friends kiss. And she's like nuts and shaking hands. Oh, sorry. I thought friends blew each other.
00:42:43
Speaker
I thought friends danced to endless love in the dark. ah but Hey, that's what Whitney and I do. Friends do just slow dance with each other. I don't think that's a normal friend thing. I think that's a you and Whitney. It's a Whitney weird thing. ah No judgment. That's just not normal.
00:43:02
Speaker
Oh, so I had made the comment. I was like, why is he so rapey? Why is that his cage? er well And this is the cage. So fucking rapey. This is like this. He seemed rapey here. This is nothing compared to the nightclub. And then oh when they're flying together in the Arizona.
00:43:20
Speaker
And then Derek's like, well, I mean, he is army. And my retort was Whitney's army. He's not that rapey. And I just gave her a look. When he takes no for a word, he's like, all right, cool. He takes no for a word. Not an answer. That's the word I was looking for. But I don't listen to it. No, he does. He's like, well, let's get drunk. I know you wouldn't hang out with that person.
00:43:45
Speaker
But so, yeah, they go to the nightclub or he does keep her panties, by the way, and throw that out there. She says it because he's like going to these bags like you keep them. I'm like, hey, now we're playing games. Yeah, but, you know, OK, sure. She said keep them. He stole them. They could have been. He tried to give them back. He's like Robin Hood of panties.
00:44:06
Speaker
This could have been a Gorbachev chainsaw. Check it out. Yeah, because they were light pink. They should have been bright red for a scene that's coming up. so No, these were actually supposed to be white, but she unlike George W or sorry, both George Bush is she forgot to separate the colors and the whites. Oh, terrible joke, and I'm sorry.
00:44:30
Speaker
It works. But it would have been better if they were red red. These starf was like stark white panties, but she left like a red bra on there, and now everything's got a pink hue. It's usually a red sock. No, not this time. She doesn't wear socks. She wears open-toed socks, first of her kind. and Awful. Like you do the oboe gloves that have the fingers showing. That's exactly what I pictured. Toeless socks.
00:44:56
Speaker
The toe socks where each the tips of the toes are cut off. That's what I was going to say. The toeless socks are for the toe shoes that you're giving a quick Google here real quick to see if I should start this business. But so they go to the nightclub. They exist already. Of course they do in a lot of different colors, too. Let me see. Is it a company owned by Quentin Tarantino? It's called Tarantino toes.
00:45:32
Speaker
Wow. OK. I wonder if they're compression. I am the greatest. I am the greatest to help my neighbors here that I am the greatest. So they're at the nightclub. Billy's there and she's dancing and he interrupts her dance and gets into a fight with this dude because he's like, well, you would stop me from dancing with my fiance.
00:45:55
Speaker
So, you know. It's the 90s, women don't have a say. He's like, I own her. Sorry, the other guy's like, I own her until this song stops. After that, we can talk. Go fuck yourself. The Walden's music plays, she's mine. Shut up, nobody asked you, bitch. I'm trying to talk to this guy. This is when we get the thing where he's telling her like, or she's like, well, you just want me to stay home and cook and clean. And he's like, I don't know what's so wrong with that. I have a baby who's a cook-in. It's tradition. Yeah.
00:46:25
Speaker
He does do a little Nick Cage. This is where he we get some more caginess because he does his eyebrow thing. Real quick eyebrows. like I can't even do it that fast.
00:46:37
Speaker
I mean, I can do the one. Oh, you got the rock. and we back at the base with ah make McNair, whatever the fuck his name was, we find out you know that they they have to be ready to go at a moment's notice because not surprisingly, this movie is going to end with a helicopter battle, which is what you're hoping for, right? yeah Because all of the cartel members are going to meet in one place very conveniently. but We're going to meet at McGuffin Park.
00:47:37
Speaker
Also, you're the best that we have and we need you to train the rest I mean this valid points on both sides though because he says like you are the best I'm the best there is he's like yeah, which is why we need you to train these younger pilots He's like well experience is only as good as you know what you can use so I need to get out there Let me play boys Well, and it's funny because this whole movie, like one of the big things is how old Tommy Lee Jones is. He's 40. 40. Looks great. Is he really 40? Well, I don't know if he's really 40. In the movie, he's 40.
00:48:08
Speaker
but he also has a fucking three like shit bird like a five year old a three year old and like a two month old well it's a year okay it's sitting up so it's i don't know how old babies get probably but hold he he is either thirteen or three but he has a kid like they're all small one of them's still bold one of them's still on the bottle that's what i meant so ah young under a ear ah but they do have this like so they get paired up it's it's Nick Cage and breaker with Guthrie and she's flying the scout helicopter which can paint the lasers targets and whatever it's gonna droid on top of it I was like Kenny fucking droid but like ah this is that really uncomfortable scene of like he's
00:49:14
Speaker
Flies above, yeah. If I remember correctly, you lock me on top. I've got a great view of your tail. She's got a couple of good comebacks. One of them, she's like, well, we've both been there when your guns don't go off. And then also, she's like, you need to get a hold of yourself. He's like, I've got a hold of myself. And she's like, then you don't need me. Deuces! Sure, my guns didn't go off, but I'm not getting wasted before I go flying. I didn't have 20 Egger bombs before I tried to fly. So that's the difference.
00:49:43
Speaker
i Know in today's world. That's just that's not apropos. No, you will like this is 1990. It was a hundred percent acceptable He probably got a medal see I'm still in that fucking mind of frame if you're gonna talk to me like that, but it should Expect some retorts like i would still how back hard I'm surprised buzzed and just like can we can we keep this candle channel clean, please? Yeah, we gotta keep this channel clean especially from rape talk like that If anybody's gonna be seduced it's gonna be me Well, because because he should say so anything in this movie because Breaker is sitting there and he's just like, oh, that's really funny. I like it when you sexually harass women. You're so smooth, dude. She's busting your balls, bro.
00:50:25
Speaker
Yeah, there's then they go to this boxing gym, which is just apparently the high school gym for Amfi High School here in Tucson. ah Yeah, a boxing gym. There's no ring. It's just hardwood floor. Yeah, I guess it's just a gym out. Yeah. Yeah. Not even like a specialty like swim gym. Yeah, there's no there's no mats on the floor anywhere. They did fight on a mat. Maybe one guy's name is Matt.
00:51:15
Speaker
that's the But Nick Cage and Tommy Lee Jones box a little and he Nick Cage takes him out because, you know, he's young and virile. So Darla was the prom queen. We get the morning word. Tommy Lee Jones wakes up from getting punched in the face and he's in pain. But he was walking around like when I wake up because he hit his back.
00:52:01
Speaker
He got fucking splayed out, dude. That's what I'm saying. At least he got knocked out and he's walking around like this. I just wake up like this. Understood. There's a cute little thing. but will you God damn it, wife, you're treating me like I got shot in the dick. You might want to check and make sure it's still there. Yeah. I guess I should. And he was even he was even like only had 10 minutes to get to work. It's like, you know what, though? I got time for fucking the misses. I always got time. Do you recognize this chick at all?
00:52:29
Speaker
that's what i was about to ask if you guys recognized her i mean she is the i recognize her from i just watched it because uh you know recording is just after christmas she didn't scrooge but she's also in all the lethal weapons as the psych also in diehard and ricochet as the same character she's uh in diehard and ricochet she's gail waylon who is the news reporter Oh, wow. Shared universe. Yeah, and she's Gail Whalen in Ricochet. She's somebody's mom. She is Mrs. Walsh in The Goonies. That's who it is, yes. Excellent.
00:53:03
Speaker
and Get her. We'll be talking about a Congo. I have to talk about Congo because I just got this. Ooh! Big ol' special 4K box from Vinegar Syndrome. Look at that down there. Yeah. Fuck yeah, Ernie Hudson, Tim Curry, name a few. God. Bruce Campbell? I said to name a few. Gotta leave some spoilers, babe. Yeah, he doesn't want to know who's in it. Don't spoil it for me. He's in the trailer. Don't spoil it for me. I didn't watch it.
00:53:57
Speaker
And there is another quick scene of Caginess that has nothing to do with anything other than Tommy Lee Jones is old and in pain right now because Nick Cage goes running past him and he's doing this fucking high knee run. Yeah, Whitney was like, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, because this dude is just running and his knees are going up to his face. And he's like, how are you doing today? Oh, yeah, I'm good. And Tommy's like slowly walking up the steps. And he says, like, all good. Like, am I going to get am i good in trouble for knocking your old ass out? So I want to know.
00:54:27
Speaker
All right cool not honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, I Guess there's supposed to be 20 years between the two of them, right? I Mean that's that is kind of a gap dude Like I wouldn't want to fucking go toe-to-toe the 22 year old right now unless it was a whiskey drinking competition girl you know we win that You know, that's one thing you do get better at with age you don't be good to recovery He would have another contest tomorrow and I would have $50 and lucky wishbone. I See, you have a fight. He wins. You have a drinking contest. You win. Then you have another fight. He loses. Yeah. yeah
00:55:06
Speaker
I'll fight you after a couple of banana daggers. Not before fermented pickles, fermented fermented pickles. You've been absurd. I'm a banana and shut up. Fermented pickle. Come down the hard bottle and get a fermented pickle. How do you think we make pickle beers?
00:55:24
Speaker
with a little bit of love and a spa ketchup. Love and ketchup, what are we talking about? I'm pretty sure that's a Leonardo DiCaprio movie, right? Love and ketchup is a grab bo great, great, well, Leo DiCaprio, Leo, Leo. Oh no, he was in the basketball diaries. Yeah, not love and basketball. Basketball gives me diarrhea. If I run in here at the same time, I poop my pants, I'll tell you.
00:55:50
Speaker
I can't have another banana. Okay, I'll have one more banana. One more banana is for you. Speaking of poop in your pants. Ooh. Oh, ah I'm back. I'm back. What happened? The next scene is Nick Cage training to fly in what's called the bag. Terrifying. So they put him in this. They put him in the back of the helicopter, but they just cover everything with plastic bags. Yeah, he can't see out the windows. So he's got to find this type of tape and black trash bags. He's got to fly this. I don't know. Forty million dollar helicopter.
00:56:44
Speaker
But yeah, so it's, fla it's total darkness. He only has the targeting systems and everybody's like, Oh no, but he gets confused with targeting systems. Well, you know though you know what the thing is? He puts the little thing down. He just needs to put it back up and trust the force. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Dude. Much like Eddie Murphy told judge Reinhold and Beverly Hills cop one. Oh, you mean.
00:57:07
Speaker
yeah but I got beer on my finger. Dude, I was setting up so fucking... There he is. I got beer on my finger and I went to touch the touch pad and it wouldn't work. as I was like, ooh, I have a perfect judge, Reinhold Bogen. Yes, sorry. Got him, got him. well who Yeah. Anyway, so ah he's he's he has one chance to pass one more chance to pass it or fail it. You fail. You're out of the fucking program. Pilgrim. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. And so Sean Young's there and she's kind of like, hey, look, it's what is it's a lot like sex. Nobody does good the first time. Yeah, I think I did my first time. So yeah, as as I was going to say disagree. Ask your mom, Sean Young.
00:57:53
Speaker
Bang there. Gotta hope she was alive at that point, otherwise this is a real sick joke. But she does the thing, she's like, you ever played cowboys in Native Americans before? In hoe, like where you put your fingers up and start shooting your friends? And that's what she notices. She's like, shoot me, fucking shoot me. He's right handed, left eye dominant.
00:58:15
Speaker
Yeah. And that's the problem is he can't focus on the camera, the little tiny camera over his right eye and the screen on his left, which just sounds confusing anyway, to be honest with you. I feel like it takes practice. Yeah.
00:58:28
Speaker
Can't we just put it on the other side of my face? That was my first thought. I was like, they don't have a little clip where they can just go. But then there wouldn't be any conflict for the movie, right? Besides the conflict. Besides, you know, the guns and the bombs and the machine guns and the missiles and the rockets and the cartel and the drugs. But that's red glare. But all those things you just said make up a solid 20 minutes of this 85 minute movie. Yeah, that's true. Another 65 minutes is, but my left eye doesn't work that good.
00:58:57
Speaker
but we need one more thing is left eyes not that strong perfect let's get those red panties from you know the the the thinks Preston has it and all this stuff He's not helping him that much because if he makes him the best then they won't need Tommy Lee Jones anymore Yeah, he has this moment with his wife where he kind of realizes that but they just brush over it. There is nothing
00:59:39
Speaker
There was something really awkward about watching Tommy Lee Jones eat a fucking fun sickle. If he would have eaten a fucking thing that would have been fine. He's just sitting there like like just he coming it like it was a fucking sleeping Disney princess. If you had chocolate lipstick for this whole scene.
00:59:57
Speaker
And it looks like you just learned how to eat. But on somebody that just learned how to wipe. Well, and like the chocolate on his lips is one thing. But like in the first part, it's in the middle. Then the next shot is off to the right and the next shot is off to the left. And I'm like, come on, continuity director. Tell him to suck that fudge sickle the right way.
01:00:16
Speaker
that true He's a method actor. He's I'm getting four sickler ever time brand-new one Fudgie No, let's go let me shoot again. No fudgy our Tommy Lee Jones ain't moving without a goddamn fudgy I get paid in Fudgies. I love how the wife was like. All right cowboy. Let's go to bed He's like, but can I take my ice cream? i'm not Well, what are you gonna do with that ice cream I know what I would do with it. OK, so this is a weirdo. God, where do you think I was going with that? Hey, I've met you. There's a lot of bad freakin' fudges in the bedroom. ah There's a training montage where they ah they put panties over Nick Cage's head like so.
01:01:04
Speaker
That periscope is not even on his eye unless the hole is higher than I think. Yeah, the hole is higher. I was thinking the same thing. He has a wide coming up in this that was just like, this is so cagey and it's like, oh, I lost just a little bit of control back there. But now everything's cool. Like, it's so fucking just who you think you are, sir. Elvis Elvis Presley. I think you're Elvis Presley. He is Nicholas fucking Cage. Yeah, he's being Elvis right here.
01:01:34
Speaker
Yeah, that's that's his that's he's been Elvis his whole career. I'm obsessed with Elvis. Yeah, I'm obsessed with Elvis. Yeah, I'm all fucked up. oh So he's got the periscope on his right eye and it goes up over the top of the jeep. They spray paint the window of the jeep for some reason, even though he's got panties and duct tape on his head. Just in case it's, no you know, a little light getting through. So the military gets pissed later when they're like, why the fuck do we have to replace this windshield? I think you can just pop it right down. Yeah, I guess that's fair. They just fold it down. So I did it. Hey, everyone in this fucking Humvee put goggles on.
01:02:09
Speaker
<unk> The older. But so, yeah, basically he's got to drive this Jeep with this rigged up thing, which is what Tommy Lee Jones did when he was younger, because he also had an eye dominance problem. And like I'm just I get what they're doing. But like I know this this concept because I've used these things where you're like looking and there's a mirror and there's another mirror up top. And then it goes out. But I'm like, this guy doesn't drive this Jeep slowly. He takes off at fucking full speed. Yeah.
01:02:38
Speaker
in a parking lot of Humvees and other machines. Don't hit other at any other government fraud companies. Yeah. If this is me and I'm a Tommy Lee Jones, I'm taking you out to the dirt where I like, I can at least like, Oh, you ran over cactus. That would have been instead people.
01:02:55
Speaker
Yeah, because he could have easily killed some people here, whatever, but he doesn't. He successfully drives. There's a few close calls, but it's a fun scene still. He's got panties on his head. He did use the force. General. That was the best part when they the general or whoever pulls up and his wife, that's it's ADR, but you just hear he got panties on his hands. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just like Donnelly Jones snaps up real quick like, oh, shit.
01:03:21
Speaker
ah general and good day for a drive yeah i do like to ah ah breakers in the back and He's like, wouldn't this be better if we were all blindfolded because this thing is just whipping around the road oh breaker you're supposed to be the comedy relief and you're not he's like ah he's like goose, but he doesn't, you know, get out when I was waiting. So how would you eject from a helicopter? Do you just die? they They don't have a thing where like the propellers fold up and that shoots you in the air. No, you didn't expect your gadgets.
01:03:59
Speaker
that's not how this works all right there might be and launches right the bottom je from like an osprey i don't even think so but yeah he's tommy lee jones at one point says we can survive a crash on this thing ah at x amount of g's i remember what he said twenty g twenty
01:04:23
Speaker
Yeah. But so then when they go back into the simulator with the eyepiece and Nick Cage is kicking ass, they do the bag again. And of course he passes, but he does have a great line. Timely Jones is like, he's like, how am I doing? Timely Jones is like, how do you think you're doing, boy? He's like, I'd have to say I'm doing piss perfect. And he does like a Southern accent. I don't know what I do like. that Perfect means means you don't dribble on the seat.
01:04:48
Speaker
OK, all right. I don't know anything about you didn't get any on your little crotch area. You didn't pee on the floor. You didn't get any on your hands. It's you pissed. Perfect. Well, I don't have a penis and I know that. How do you wash your hands if you're not peeing on them?
01:05:06
Speaker
Huh? Have I been doing this wrong? Yes, very wrong. He's taken. I've eaten it. Your health that you've cooked for you, I cooked for you with those piss hands. When I was a kid, I heard that piss was sterile, so I just thought you're supposed to piss on your hands. I mean, did there's some logic look there that's quite flawed. and You know what? Change of subject.
01:05:31
Speaker
For anybody listening on audio, I'm sorry. I'm having a lot of fun with this being video. The Judge Reinhold clip as a poster is is worth it alone, I think. It's just the price of admission. Dude, it's getting so normal. I just love that when I pop it up this way, all we see on the background is Jack flipping off Judge Reinhold.
01:05:55
Speaker
That's pretty fantastic. I would never flip off Judge Reinhold. So, uh, Billy takes Nick Cage out on a date to celebrate and they go to, at the time it was the tack room here in Tucson. yeah now Now it's Hacienda del Sol. It's up in the foothills up by La Paloma and whatnot. This drive that they're taking, um, also Jack, what is this car?
01:06:18
Speaker
It's definitely a Corvette, I would guess it's a 67. Is it the Stingray? Yeah, I think it's a 67 Stingray, but I'm not 100% sure on it. That's what I was thinking also. I was a little worried they were gonna run into Charlie Sheen as the Wraith on these back roads, and maybe Clint Howard with that giant fucking hair. Do you know what this road is that they're driving on? It's on the way to Old Tucson. I was thinking, well, maybe, I was thinking, Saguaro National Monument East off of Houghton,
01:06:46
Speaker
And that's where Wraith is filmed, I believe. I just looked up just because I wasn't sure. Wraith was 1986. I was like, maybe they did run into each other. That was right before Nick Cage had to do the the high knee runs. He ran into Charlie Sheen. and I was going to say, you don't think that that fucking left a coke trail from 86 to 1990 down Tucson back roads? Fucking better believe it. That's how you get the high knee. I got cocaine in my high knee.
01:07:15
Speaker
So yeah, they go on this date. They're dancing. They're fucking. It's beautiful. She has a line because it's a quick flip. In my opinion, it's a very quick flip from I hate you and yada yada to then he's like, why do you change ah less to take off?
01:07:29
Speaker
She first comes out to meet him, and he's like, you look great. And she's like, this old thing. And I'm like, I've seen what you've been wearing this whole movie, lady. This is not a this old thing. Yeah, you've been dressed like a fucking 1990s mom just doing house chores, this entire movie. yeah Now all of a sudden you got fucking curves. But I respect it. He's like, let's just skip dinner and get to the fucking. And she's like, ah, first of all, a little anticipation, a little patience. Also, food. And she gets kind of her, I'm gonna be hangry voice.
01:07:59
Speaker
Yeah. I'm sure everybody in a relationship has heard this from their their partner. I don't know. Food. Never. I've never heard my wife get angry at anything. I just try and feed people all the time so it never gets there. I'm pretty sure Jack has heard my angry voice. I try not to. It's why I carry around a pocket full of pretzels. But so then the last act of this movie is literally the last act of Top Gun. First, it's air to air combat versus your instructors. Yep.
01:08:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. In this case, it is Tommy Lee Jones and Detective LaRusso from Cop Rock. Rice man. Rice man. Yeah. Or instead of ice man, it's rice man. Yeah. So stupid. They went so far with that, right? ah Instead of goose, you will be playing caboose. You'll be playing duck.
01:08:48
Speaker
You know, that doesn't work. People can't just yell duck in war. and Never mind. I think that's why they got Rattler. And instead of maverick, you're going to be um we're going to go with the Rick. I didn't even make that connection. Tommy Lee Jones is Rattler. Yes. Yeah. yeah ah Tom. Tom scared. Tom scared. Thank you. Is Viper.
01:09:07
Speaker
Oh, shit. Wow. They didn't even try. It's not even a fucking snitch, dude. Rice and Rattler? their look is like All right, Rice man. I bet you they tried to get Timely Jones to to grow a mustache, but it just didn't look right.
01:09:26
Speaker
I don't think I want to see him with a mustache. He's got a good upper look. You see it? You see, it's like almost like a pencil. It's almost like. But I mean, like with a Tom Scarritt mustache, he he would probably look a lot more like a racist sheriff. So yeah. Yeah. And I don't want him to say the word boy if he's got a little thin mustache like that. It works when you're talking to Nicolas Cage. Don't get cocky bar.
01:09:48
Speaker
But so they have their little air battle. And of course, Cage and Breaker win. He does this up and over vertical twist. You want me to get vertical? Let's give it a little twist. And Tommy Lee, Tommy Lee Jones that like does break his target lock earlier in the fucking fight where it was. With the fun little arrow roll.
01:10:06
Speaker
Yeah. But then Tommy Lee Jones hides out. He's like, give me, give me right through this canyon. And Nicholas Cage pops up right behind him. you it's It's been a minute since I watched the first top gun. I watched it right before Maverick came out. But I want to say this is also just beat for beat that fight because it's um I think Tom Cruise has Michael Ironside. Michael Ironside. Well, he gets Michael Ironside earlier on. So then the second one is Tom Scarritt. For five points, what is Michael Ironside's call sign? I think I know it. I know. Joker. Is it Joker? Joker. Joker. Because I always thought that was funny because I don't think I've ever seen Michael Ironside smile.
01:10:49
Speaker
but What he does, it's not good. When he laughs, it's just that, where you think you're going to get skinned. ah Why is he smiling? Am like I close to death? Why is Michael Ironside smiling at me? I don't like this. Well, I have five points for whatever competition we're doing. I mean, i mean i nobody proved me that I was right or wrong and I could be wrong, but I'm 93% sure it's Joker.
01:11:15
Speaker
Yeah. Jester. Damn it. It's Jester. Oh, it is Jester. Oh, well, you lost your five points. Nope. Got them back. I'll take i'll turn four. ah Two and a half. Two and a half. That's still two and a half more than you guys have. It's true. It's true. It's my game. So you get two and a half. Whitney gets a star and I get a circle. Who gets a banana sticker? Jack? A banana scratch and drink. It's a scratch and drink banana sticker. I'm telling you, one thing about that is scratch.
01:11:43
Speaker
oh As cracks did too many times. But so they get back from their training mission and have to go out immediately because all the cartel guys are in the same location, which is a really good idea. And all right, everyone to four eggs in one basket. All of the. a So it's a it's a joint D.A. Army task force, something, something. And it's a like a dancer. What do you call it? ah Oh, what's the fucking word I used to hate, Quintilla?
01:12:15
Speaker
Oh, cotillion, cotillion, cotillion. It's a DEA army, cotillion. ah
01:12:23
Speaker
Let's not invite the Air Force. We don't want them here. So they get sent out right after the exercise for operation. Wait for it. Firebird. Well, not Firebirds. He didn't quite say it. That's what Derek said. But I'm counting it. And this is where Nick Cage gets all fucking Manny and is like, what do you mean you're going with us? You can't be in danger.
01:12:50
Speaker
but don't you understand? I just don't want you to get hurt. and the The it's annoying scene because I just I don't like the behavior, but it does lead to another great ah split second moment when she's like, well, fuck you, I'm doing it anyway, and walks off in the background. Nick Cage not only kicks the air, he almost does like a Liu Kang bicycle kick like he's got both legs in the air like I laughed out loud because like a little kid walking away like
01:13:43
Speaker
The Colonel comes down and he's like, hey, so I talked it over with everybody and you're right, you are now the lead, ah you're going on this mission. Flight leader, yeah. Flight leader, yeah. And he's like, I know it. On the Colonel, not a side of you are going to take all of my herbs and spices and pepper the enemy. When I say herbs and spices, I mean rockets and bullets, hope that is clear. Yes, it is sir. Did you choke on any herbs and spices there?
01:14:13
Speaker
Nope, just air. Oh, that is a tough one. You're going to need that. You might want to get better breathing, son.
01:14:22
Speaker
he He can see, he just can't breathe. Let's see how he handles drinking. I've been practicing for 40 years and I'm not good at it yet. Drinking?
01:14:33
Speaker
no breathing
01:14:36
Speaker
39. 39 years, whatever. It's not for everybody. It's for 39 and 40. Nothing. One. One.
High Living Costs and Moving to Denver
01:14:46
Speaker
Good thing that we're starting a new in denver endeavor. Endeavor? Endeavor? Yeah. We're starting new in Denver. We're starting a new endeavor.
01:14:57
Speaker
Oh yeah, Jack, I didn't tell you we're all moving to Denver. All of us. Sell your house. Do you think you can still work at the Arizona Beer House? No, but all three of us are going to have to share a studio to afford it. And I don't mean a recording studio. Well, it will also be that. It will be. Man, your house is weird. You have two beds and a table with microphones all over it. And cameras. Oh, fuck that, dude. I'm just hanging a fucking microphone from my bed so I can just lay down.
01:15:29
Speaker
It's like the lazy man's Michael Buffer.
Trivia and Desert Locations
01:15:32
Speaker
Well, let's get ready to podcast. We both did it. So they have to go to the Katamarka desert, which is I read on IMDB trivia. So who knows what these people know? But apparently it's in Argentina exclusively, kind of like how the Sonoran desert is almost all in Arizona and Alaska. Yeah. So we know they're in Argentina, although they don't say it.
01:15:59
Speaker
Um, there's some stuff getting ready. And while, uh, Nick Cage and Tommy Lee Jones are having like a heartfelt discussion about the mission and freedom and whatever.
Action and Rescue Dynamics
01:16:09
Speaker
The explosions start going off. They're under attack by people who have never aimed in their life. Apparently. yeah Well, that's all, they all have that canopy stuff going on. Like you can't, you know, something's there. You just don't know exactly where things are. Yeah, but like, but they're not even in the helicopters, which are uncovered.
01:16:25
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing. I'm like, they're that looks like they're aiming at the people. And I'm like, I get what you're going for. But like, take out the helicopters, not the people. I feel like if this was a real ah ah aerial, maybe they it would have wiped them out. Oh, yeah. I mean, it does pretty much people, not the helicopters, because then they could have taken over the helicopters. Yeah. Then, you know, learn how to fly an Apache.
01:16:50
Speaker
so but ah buzz gets taken out pretty quickly who's guthro passs if no yard ah because this leaves guthrie alone to be the savior of somebody we assumed it was going to be k nickt cage yeah it turns out it's tommy lee jones she also is there to be a little bit of a damsel and a damsel on the stress Yeah, well, actually, I mean, no, like she's got the she does get in trouble, but she is the one who solves everything. Yeah, but Nick does come and save her. Well, he comes and picks her up. He doesn't say no, no he's like she's on the headset. She's on the headset and she's like, please come save me.
01:17:31
Speaker
Yeah, because Stolar does show up and chase her down. Stolar Stoker Stolar. He does show up and start chasing her down. um And all of a sudden, these dudes have fucking jets, too. Like Tommy Lee Jones even has a thing. He's like, is there a whole goddamn air force down here? um But yeah, they've got at least two of these jets. ah So Tommy Jones and Detective LaRusso end up taking out or they get taken out by a jet.
01:18:11
Speaker
No, they take out one. They take out one of the jets by Secundus. Yeah, they take out a jet. And then, yeah, Secundus shows up tracking them down and he doesn't kill them. He tries, of course, when he takes out their tail rotor. He doesn't kill them because he's a kindhearted assassin you know at times he's like yeah i'm good on my job and i'll need to do it he's like i want an apache i can fix the tale he's like i'm also forty i feel bad up me too brother i get it man one of these cartel guys joed past me the other day backwards i shot them you you're in the ay so you had to be like oh hey good morning yeah no i fucking shot this dude like you can outrun me but you canno't run my bullets kind
Helicopter Battle and Aerial Stunts
01:19:08
Speaker
Um, Sean Young does go down to try to recover them and she gets there. She's like, there was no explosions, whatever. So she lands and goes to check on him. LaRusso is fucking toast. Yeah, he did he's got a bullet through his head, his eyeball. And I like that she still goes and checks his pulse.
01:19:28
Speaker
he is alive put a bullet in him yeah I'm like well his brains are on his face so I wouldn't bother checking his pulse but it's just me do you see the brain coming out of his eye throbbing no it's probably fucking dead like i'm looking at its heart and it's not beating um I want to go back real quick to the helicopter fight because there's a real cute moment bit where ah ah Billy's like popping the helicopter just above the like just the R2D2 any face she's playing peekaboo and it's fucking so cute dude she's like
01:20:01
Speaker
Yeah, it's ah I'm assuming this is a real thing. Tankertow will probably know and he'll let us know. But like, it's a pretty cool concept, like because they were talking about her being the scout chopper. And I was like, well, that's cool and all. But like, if she's not maneuverable and fast the way that the Apache is, then she's just going in to die. Yeah. but Yeah. It's that she can hide behind ridges and peek up over because that camera is up above like the Google car driving around. Oh, yeah. It's the cameras, a the cameras above the rotors. Right. Yeah.
01:20:31
Speaker
Yeah, and it's it's also a laser to the point that it can paint a target the Apache can be behind cover Launch one of these smart missiles that would go and knock it out So and I think it i it never came to anything which was surprising, but it says the laser can actually be used to blind and can refuse other helicopters i'm like you assume that that's a cut scene cause they mentioned it so it feels like it should be in the movie yeah and i mean these people got away these people didn't write a lot of stuff and it's not like the best written movie um in the world but just bringing that up the based on what other stuff they've done in this it tells me that they should It was probably in there, but it didn't make the 85 minute version. Or were they talked about it because it was the knowledge that they had for it and they just want to know the things. It's just something that ah Dale Dye, I think his name was the the guy that's playing the colonel there is something that he knew. So he's like, well, we can throw that in there. It's them as facts. It's just a new piece of technology. They're like, hey, insert this. That's cool.
01:21:34
Speaker
Yeah, let America know we got good toys. but So back to back to Tommy Lee Jones and dead rice. This is fucking so i I don't know if this is real either and I would really like to know because Tommy Lee Jones so his legs are broken. He can't get out. So she's got to try to protect him and this jet finds them. Yeah. He walks her through taking out this thing and putting it together and and like unlatching one. It turns one of the Apache's missiles into like a shoulder mounted missile launcher. I want to say was this a lot of this. Yes. Yeah. Dude, I actually wondered myself if that's real because it's like you got these munitions.
01:22:13
Speaker
Why can't it be real? Yeah, it's just like she pulls this thing out and has to. And I mean, it's it's complicated, but like it has to be right. But it's like take the little cigar box thing and plug it into this thing and twist that and turn that and unlatch these. and a But like she that switch, she takes a fucking missile off of a helicopter and turns it into a shoulder mounted missile. And it's fucking insane. I love it.
01:22:35
Speaker
And she she does take out that jet. So yeah, right up the pooper. but Yeah. um Breaker gets hurt during ah so Stoller and Cajun Breaker are all having their their little dog fight. I'm assuming it's still called that with helicopters. I would assume so. But the it's really good. Like the the the helicopter action in this is a lot better than I expected it to be. I was having a great time with this. There's a couple scenes early where it's Timely Jones just in like a fake cockpit and they're doing like a ah scream behind him im like, oh man, this this is gonna be a pooper of a film if it's like this. yeah and Like this kicks in and you just nailed it. Like this is really fucking fun combat.
01:23:18
Speaker
Yeah, and it's it's not I mean, it's not Top Gun or especially Top Gun Maverick where you've actually got Tom Cruise in a fucking jet flying around because Nick Cage didn't learn how to fly a fucking Apache. He's not insane. He's an actor. Well, he is insane. He is insane. He's insane. Well, he's not a Scientologist. Yeah. So at least there's that. But like so it's not them in the helicopters, but just the helicopters just doing these.
01:23:45
Speaker
I mean they're not going upside down per se but when they're when they're going over vertical and turning like it's as close as you can get to being upside down. I mean I'm assuming if a helicopter goes all the way upside down it's just pushing itself into the ground. I feel like yeah this little scorpion thing could do it.
01:24:02
Speaker
Well, and it does like it it gets close. And when they show the shots of Stoller, they make it look like he's basically upside down. But I mean, even when they're vertical and like turning, it's like your cockpit is still basically upside down. It's just that your rotors aren't directly below you. You can't go full 180 degrees. Yeah. But I mean, it's it's it's insane. These things are just flying up and flipping around and diving down like I have I have a regular fun time.
01:24:27
Speaker
I have a regular in my bar that he flies the with the Blackhawks. He's he's a helicopter guy. um I'll ask him about it. I'll have them. Yeah, like specifically, it would be like the Apaches and then whatever this other one is, because like some of the Blackhawks, I think, are bigger ones. They're there for like carrying people like that black. There were black. hawks in system The medical one at the end is a Blackhawk. And one of the ones at the very beginning, they got blowsed up as a Blackhawk. Well, he was in the army and he he was stationed in Idaho.
01:24:54
Speaker
But that's for carrying like multiple people, though, like so obviously that wouldn't be able to do those maneuvers. But like, yeah, ask him because I'm interested to know if these ah I mean, I know Apaches are attack helicopters. Yeah. But it's just that I mean, we see them do these maneuvers, but they can fudge it with angles of the camera and stuff. But just I mean, they're going like straight down, straight up, like turning and saying that's the way I'd like to. for clogged up over where it's very exciting watch shirt there's a line coming up but that's that's right here that cracks me up because instead of calling him a breaker
01:25:27
Speaker
that his copos name yeah calvin' like calvin he's like dude only my mom called me cal but i'm your mom now calvin i am your mom calvin but they do get hit that comes they no it does the same way that you think it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's very exciting to watch it's Oh, very exciting to watch shoot the guns for mommy. Mommy wants to fuck. Thank you for that. Mommy wants to. I need I need I'm the greatest. The greatest was the fog. But Calvin does get shot when they get hit with some bullets and they go right through and take out Calvin. So he's like, I can't shoot. I'm OK, but I can't shoot because, of course, it has to be down to Nick Cage.
01:26:17
Speaker
And now there's where you have a three pecker goat fucking around. Just fuck it. He's as busy as a three picker goat, dude. And he he's he does outfly this guy and and they did a good job because I mean, we haven't watched a lot of stuff with helicopters. The only other thing I can think of is Nightmare at Noon, which was not as high octane. The helicopter stuff in that was cool. But like Rambo three.
01:26:39
Speaker
oh yeah rambow three when he plays peekaoo yeah which is kind of what happens here yes nick cage goes off the edge of this like cliff here and drops down and fucking fennel thoren here just overshoots and he's like not as good as you thought motherfucker and blows this dude out of this sky and not only Oops, you blew it. Yeah. Not only does he blow him out of the sky, though, like we don't just get an exploding helicopter. We get the ink in cockpit shot of like these bullets tearing through this dude. And there's just blood fly. it's I mean, it's a split second, but you just see like holes getting ripped in this dude and blood flying everywhere. And then the helicopter explosion. I think it's the first blood filled bada boom we've had on the show.
01:27:23
Speaker
I think also it's true. It also steals from Top Gun, though, because if you remember the end of that movie, he does the same thing. He's like, I'm going to put the bra put on the bracelet and fly right by me. Well, yeah, yeah. I'm here to. That's what I was saying earlier, like this whole third act is just the end of Top Gun.
01:27:40
Speaker
Yeah, but it's just it's cooler than what I expected to see in this particular movie. I just like it's a good maneuver because it's all done in real time. It's not like they did a bunch of cuts. You see the Apache go over the edge and then like drop down and stop. Then you see this other helicopter fly out over it and it's all in like one shot. So, I mean, it's it's pretty fucking well choreographed. They did a good job there.
01:28:02
Speaker
Yeah, dude, I was so surprised how much I enjoyed this movie, especially the latter half. Like, when they, as soon as they get to these Apaches, we're having a great fucking time from here on out. Yeah, we are. Yeah. Remember, what was that one movie where Watcher was like, oh my God, this is the most boring helicopter scene? Nightmare at noon. I thought about that today. I was like, oh, at least this is a fun, exciting, like, this is a good helicopter scene. Well, you know what? It'll cheer you up.
01:28:29
Speaker
judge helicopter Maybe a little bit of this actually yeah that fucking smile bro i'm lost controller for a little bit, but now everything's cool well Speaking of everything being cool The fight's over, because Stolar's dead. so And I was like, well, this movie's about to wrap up real fast, because it's only 85. I didn't look at the time, but I was like, I know we're about to wrap up. He calls, and he's like, can I help with something, something? And they're like, nope, we arrested everybody. Everything's good. Come on back, Land. Hey, you're back. ah They're going to go pick up your girlfriend and Tommy Lee Jones. Jump on that chopper. Go get him. Movie over. Yeah. the Same thing. I was like, oh, he's going to go fucking play cleanup. Like, we're going to have one final just like blow up montage of him just laying. Wasty, poor fucking indigenous people just trying to make a living with drugs. Well, a lot of good people down there got to blow them up, got to do it right away. They're trying to make a living off of the natural resources that were provided to them. did if If they weren't supposed to do it, why did God make it? and Exactly. Sure, you have to do a lot of stuff to turn a coca leaf into cocaine. But I'm just saying it was already there. Let's not stop picking a pot, what is and what isn't.
01:29:42
Speaker
I need to know how somebody just like discovered that. how um I remember learning in school that the native people there would like just chew on coca leaves and get energy. Yeah. So along the line somebody helps with it helps with altitude sickness.
01:29:59
Speaker
Now along the line, somebody learned about chemical composition and whatnot, and how to break it down into the distilled version of what gave people that little boost. I knew that donkey laxative to it. yeah Yeah. And then we had to bastardize it.
01:30:15
Speaker
ah But I mean, that's, that's the end of the movie. They have a cute little argument about who's flying the chopper. Cause she drove his car earlier. ah The end. The end. The end. Tight. In and out. Yeah. We'll do recommendations and we'll start with. Full recommendation, dude. I love this movie. I thought it was awesome. It was a wonderful pacing. Yeah, Nick can get a little rapey. But again, the 90s got to have the rose colored goggles on, right? It's not like rapey. It's just it's just over the top creep.
01:30:48
Speaker
Yeah, like pushy, super pushy. It's like i and John Claude Van Damme is my dance floor. Yeah, I just I loved it.
Recommendation and Performances
01:30:57
Speaker
I really very much enjoyed this. And if you if you're like me and you love to use some cage, you get some cage in this bitch. And then the happy Tommy Lee Jones surprise.
01:31:07
Speaker
Yeah, that surprised you only. Not a surprise to anybody who just listened to this podcast. Oh, did we mention that we get some Tommy Lee thighs? Oh, yeah. I just want to throw that in there. But some Tommy Lee thighs. He's wearing he's wearing shorts that are so short that I thought he was going to start hanging brain at one point. Yeah, but yeah I could see both his haircuts.
01:31:28
Speaker
I was very happy. So, Jack, recommendations? Four recommend, full send. Even if you even if the the beginning part was boring enough to not like, which it wasn't, it was just boring for what this is. It's such an in and out movie and just the helicopter stunts and the helicopter pranks at the end are so fucking fun. Little peek-a-boo. And yeah, Tommy Lee Jones and all that and everything else you said, it's just so it's too quick to be mad at.
01:31:53
Speaker
It doesn't need Jack's caveats, but that just makes it better. Like I was sober yeah and I just had husband with me the whole time. Yeah. Just me. Yeah. And he was over on the other side of the road. I don't need the caveats, but this would have been fun because of all the little Cajuns that we get here would have been fun to be with people that just, this will this'll be on a fucking repeat for us. It takes it from a 10 to an 11. If you have your friends and buddies with you. Yeah. This movie goes to 11.
01:32:20
Speaker
and yeah i mean so going into this for me i thought i was going to give it like a soft recommend because i almost recommend every cage movie in some capacity because i remember the the half watch that we gave it while we were drinking heavily and i just remember thinking like this is pretty fucking boring And it started out and I was like, yep, pretty fucking boring. But you pretty quickly get into it not being super boring. I mean, it's ah it's the it's the pacing. Not a lot happens in the first half of the movie or the first two thirds of the movie. But the first two thirds of the movie is less than an hour. Yeah. So you can get through it. And that last scene alone is worth it. But I think I liked it. I'm going to give it a full recommend at this point. Yeah.
01:33:04
Speaker
I just, you know, I like Nick Cage more than I like Tom Cruise. I would recommend Top Gun before I would recommend Firebirds. However, I do recommend Firebirds. Also, you know, Top top Gun has logins. This has Phil Collins. Also, Top Gun has Anthony Edwards. Also, selling point. Yes, it is. are You know what we didn't get in Top Gun? Woo!
01:33:35
Speaker
I've never seen Tom Cruise is just like, I'm not wearing panties on my head. I know what statuees those I just watch Eyes Wide Shut for the first time in like 20 plus years still doesn't have panties on his head. And if any the time to do it, any movie Tom Cruise was in that are risky business well because it covers his face and and that's his money maker.
01:33:54
Speaker
Yeah, height. Oh, boom. So next week we will be continuing Made in Arizona month with our first installment of what's taking place of DERCA classic movies because my co-hosts hate watching classic cinema. So we're replacing DERCA classic movies with schlock and load. Oh, bitches. So our first episode read it all we be Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren in Universal Soldier.
01:34:25
Speaker
deserve deserve to do Also going to our silk underwear so on his head. I think filmed entirely in Arizona outside of maybe some soundstage stuff. Sweet. But it was just what we just we just watched it two years ago. We didn't record it, huh? No, we did not. record I was saying like we just watched it. Yeah. Yeah. We watched it, but it was filmed.
01:34:47
Speaker
near it was in northern Arizona. I want to say it was near a city in Arizona that's called Baghdad. If you don't believe me, look it up, look it up. I'm not doing that. I feel like that's how we got on a watch list. Baghdad without an H bag dad, which is actually worse. Yeah, that's just the that's the guy at the supermarket that takes all the fucking bags in in one trip on Baghdad. I got this i' one trip. I've got them all on my arms. Sure. I bought four hundred.
01:35:16
Speaker
look at the $640 worth of groceries in 1984. So that's a lot of
Patreon Promotion and Bonus Content
01:35:43
Speaker
groceries. dicking That's when you just get the ah broomstick right now. I'm pretty sure that's just macaroni and cheese and eggs, but a couple pounds of raw potatoes. Don't forget to check out our Patreon at patreon dot.com slash worst people. It's only $3 a month. You get a bonus mental health episode every month.
01:36:03
Speaker
You get dope content. Like you get our latch key vids, latch key vids, which this one size rock we're doing. we We have a couple other plan to just sound bonkers. Yes. Yeah. This month's episode of latch key vids will be the third episode of cop rock entitled Happy Mudders Day. Oh, mother's day. I mean, and my mother. Hello, mother. Hello, father.
01:36:26
Speaker
It just started. Here I am at Cop Granada. And our mental health episode for the month will be a listener request episode from Tanker Tom, who has been mentioned on this episode because military. finger tom ah He requested Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.
Listener Request Fulfilled
01:36:44
Speaker
And do you see how easy it is to get your way when you're a patron? Yeah. Fucking that ass about a movie. You get it. Yeah. Here we are.
01:36:53
Speaker
You got voted over me, Tankertown. I suggested something else. I had smoky stuff in my lungs. Here we are, guys. I went to George Lucas. Thank you. Looking right along.
01:37:09
Speaker
but of course we have to thank Evasion for opening and closing music so thank you guys and don't forget send us an email at badmoviesworsepeopleatgmail.com send us requests send us complaints send us praise I have a fragile ego send us picture so I'd be better with praise but I'll take complaints I got no problem with criticism bring it on over to Catholic school I'm married to that guy. I get criticism. That's it for this week. I've been Derek. I'm married to him. ah and I'm a first class all American. I am the greatest.
01:38:20
Speaker
Well, if you're a soldier, you put that bottle up your butt, and you do a handstand right now, this is America's, this is America's boofing. Talking about full tilt with the American boofing.