Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep 128: Fire Birds
1 Plays2 minutes ago
We kick off Made in Arizona month with a Nic Cage/Tommy Lee Jones banger! FIRE BIRDS is essentially a Top Gun rip-off, but with helicopters and less Scientology, and we had a great time with it. Nic Cage plays hotshot helicopter pilot Jake Preston, who gets accepted into an Apache training program to fly missions against America's biggest enemy at the time: drug cartels! Tommy Lee Jones has to train him, and Sean Young has to endure his constant sexual harassment.
Get more Bad Movies Worse People at patreon.com/worsepeople for only $3 a month, including the AD-FREE VIDEO version of this episode.
Love Star Wars? Give HAN TOOK SHOTS FIRST a chance anywhere you find podcasts and hantookshotsfirstpod.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Made in Arizona Month
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back for the first episode of Made in Arizona Month. And this week, shoot them, blast them, nab them, grab them, shake them, bake them, cook them, clean them, close them, broil them, kick them, nab them, twist them. All gone. Bye bye, bro. Bye bye. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I am the greatest. This is Bad Movies. Worst People.
00:00:56
Speaker
So Shaggy's got it. That was Shaggy the dog. Stop it. Pull it. Skip it. Jump it. That was so hard to try. That was so hard to try to read. You know, it's probably because he didn't read it. He fucking just did that on the spot. Just like when he starts yelling, I am the greatest. That's why they made this movie because he was sitting somewhere yelling that like film this, write a movie around it.
00:01:21
Speaker
Yeah. They let him cage out. And I love when Cage gets to Cage. It's it's now kind of some early caging, right? Yeah. um I mean, we already had vampires kiss. And first of all, what is this and what year is it?
Firebirds Movie Introduction
00:01:37
Speaker
Oh, maybe we didn't have a vampire. Yeah, we did. Anyway, this is Firebirds from 1990 starring one Nicholas Cage and and one Tommy Lee Jones uh and one so Sean, you know. Yeah. And directed by the director, everybody knows David Green, who directed the movie Buster starring Phil Collins. Oh, that classic that no one knows about.
00:02:04
Speaker
I mean, that's a bad hit. I feel like someone's crapping around this movie. He directed a bunch of BBC shit and the last thing he directed, he's still alive, but the last thing he directed was 2003 BAFTA Awards. so Oh, poor feller.
00:02:19
Speaker
ah I don't know what he's doing. How someone has fallen. How the mediocre have fallen. At a wonderful 85 minutes, by the way. yeah So no and breezy.
Plot and Characters of Firebirds
00:02:34
Speaker
In and out. and Because I'll be honest, it's sorry. it The movie kind of starts a little slow. like but I mean, I know there's like action right away, but like just then we start to get this training thing, which is fine. And it's cage right off the bat is boring.
00:02:50
Speaker
you know like he's just i know he's trying to do this somber i just watched somebody die thing but it's coming off like if i could put my hat in the ring i really would like to go kill them i'm a kill a machine and i'm willing to kill so let's go Yeah, exactly it does but then he gets uncaged as we love Yeah. Yeah. Cause at the very beginning, so I've seen this kind of saw this movie once, um, when we were drinking at my house doing barley fest, I, one of the many movies I put out in the background. So that's really seen. So you kind of watched it twice.
00:03:27
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's double vision I saw the simulator stuff and I was like, man, this movie is all simulator stuff. And then we were like, oh, but not nearly as much as I thought. Yeah. But yeah, it starts out and he's he's got that like, like you said, and I was like, well, this is going to be a shit performance. He doesn't give a fuck about this movie.
00:03:49
Speaker
Yeah, because I have seen this, by the way, but it was probably around 1990. My dad's a military guy that will watch anything that comes out that's got military. So especially we were coming off of Top Gun success. I almost guarantee my pops watched this with like we rented it and watched it. When the opening credits came on, I felt like I had seen this with my parents at some point, too. ooh Speaking of opening credits, how beautiful were those sunset letters?
00:04:15
Speaker
Yeah. Did you notice it? I want that font. Oh, maybe I'll hit up the zip and that's my lettering for my tattoo. There you go. But before we get too far, let me tell people where they can watch this if they'd like. ah So this one keeps coming up recently, but it's on Hoopla.
00:04:35
Speaker
so you can watch it for free there. ah You can rent it on Amazon for 359 or Apple for 399, or you can buy it on either one for about 13 bucks. Now, do you have some fucking Shout Factory beautiful 4K thing to talk about? I know you do. No, I don't. I just watched this on the internet. Oh, I thought you would own this. That's crazy. No, I own a bunch of cage movies, not surprisingly, but not this one. Okay, we'll fix that.
00:05:05
Speaker
I mean, and you mentioned Top Gun, so right out of the gate, we'll get it out of the way. This is Top Gun with helicopters. I'm sorry. Helicopters. Helicopters. It's this twist gun. um With ah I mean, in the IMDB trivia, which is mostly stupid and and useless. um One of the things was like.
00:05:26
Speaker
This is trivia. This is known amongst critics as Top Gun with helicopters. I'm like, well, it's not. trivia I watched the fucking movie. I know. Yeah, that's a dumb trivia. We don't like that. But we are discussing this because it was filmed not primarily in but all in Arizona, mostly in Tucson. yeah Arizona and no rules.
00:05:51
Speaker
Yeah, no, you could definitely tell. I recognize some of these areas. Yeah, we've got ah we've got the Foothills up there, Hacienda del Sol. We've got Amphi High School, which I'll tell you guys about. We've got Pima Community College West, which is this what the because I asked, I was like, well, is this supposed to be like Davis Montan? And he's like, no, it's a fake. It's a fake base because their army, not Air Force, and we don't have an army base in Tucson. So they made a base out of Pima Community College campus.
Screenplay Writers and Other Shows
00:06:25
Speaker
it's actually more dangerous when it's just the campus but so this is written by a bunch of people um always a good sign by the way well so we have three people credited for the story and then two credited for the screenplay so two of the people credited for the story step Tyner and John K Swenson this is their only credit
00:07:03
Speaker
Oh yeah. the the dude the The fucking mustachio gentleman that has made a quick leader out of being a military guy. ah he So he has one other writing credit besides this. And obviously he wrote it, you know, army. He's obviously a retired military, ah but he was a Marine because his only other, his only other writing credit is additional dialogue in a movie called operation rainfall.
00:07:26
Speaker
where he's credited as Dale Dye USMC. So. So they hired him to make the people in that movie, which looks awful, by the way, just from the poster. he They hired him. to They hired this guy to make that sound like they were actually in the military. OK. Probably a bunch of Canadian actors. this guy was in a bunch of shit and it's almost all as a military person I mean he's in platoon born on 4th of July JFK guarding tests and then the actual screenplay was written by two guys one named Nick feel who wrote on some episodes of burn notice white collar elementary so he does we are talking some USA garbage that I love
00:08:10
Speaker
and then a guy named paul f edwards who fucking edwards so episodes of the show v ah some episodes of baywatch nights which i was just telling both of my co-hosts about Um, that'll probably be at least sporadic episodes of latchkey vids in the future. Yeah. For those who don't know, Baywatch nights is not just like sexy Baywatch or Baywatch where they're guarding the ocean. That's, so I think it's like Baywatch makes silk stocksing still silk stock stockings on USA nights. Right. That's what I was thinking. like united is say It's more like Baywatch meets supernatural.
00:08:51
Speaker
That blows my mind. So we're talking like Van Helswim? Yes. Yep. Terrible timing for a pun. I was going to say, I felt like that just fell so flat and I was so happy I made it up on this spot. We'll try to get if you want to feel like editing, then he'll swim. No, it was a good one. I was just in the middle of puffing and it made me die. and i coughed Good. um Good. I mean, this gentleman also wrote a movie that I have to show you guys a poster for. It'll pop up on your screen here because I figured out how to do this like a professional now.
00:09:26
Speaker
Is it going to be Cynthia Rothrock? No, it's a movie starring Judge Reinhold called Runaway Car.
Humorous Movie Poster Discussion
00:09:33
Speaker
And just take a look at this poster. Oh my God. Tell me that we don't need to watch this. I need to watch that right now. Sweating lapses of Jeffrey Dahmer, the haircut of a lawyer, the suit of a tired banker, runaway car. Somehow there's a helicopter coming out of the flames.
00:09:55
Speaker
Is there a rope coming off of the car? I don't know if you guys notice, but at the bottom, it says a true story.
00:10:06
Speaker
Based on a true story that we completely made up. So, yeah, I saw that poster and I was like, all right, I got to figure out how to put this on the screen. yeah I'm excited for that already.
00:10:21
Speaker
So even if we don't talk about it, yeah, even if we don't talk about it, we have to watch that. That's for sure. But so we'll play the did this movie make money game?
Games and Nicolas Cage's Career
00:10:33
Speaker
So twenty two million dollars is the budget. OK. And helping the budget. It did not make that it made. I've been so low recently. What did you say? Eight. Eighteen.
00:10:50
Speaker
Um, I guess Whitney's closest without going over 14.7 is right rules. I win. So I'm a guy. So, oh, so just because you're a guy, I don't get to fly a helicopter. No, you can fly a helicopter, but just like on little missions, not like like just go. You know what? I think you should be raising kids and cooking and cleaning is what I think.
00:11:14
Speaker
um Okay. It's tradition, Whitney. but My mom just came up for her. Well, you know what your mom didn't do? Your mom didn't fly helicopter. You know what your mom didn't do? Make your dad pull out. oh I mean, not that. I'm glad that Nick Cage's mom, you know, took that load. Same. We have been blessed with some really true greatness.
00:11:40
Speaker
Yeah, greatness. um So the movie starts with a quote from George Bush, and I didn't get a chance to get the whole thing down, but it's like our message to drug cartels basically like, we're coming for you. Oh, you could do a better Bush than that.
00:11:57
Speaker
Oh, I wasn't doing, I guess I could do Bush. Uh, Barb, we're coming for him. That drug cartels were coming for each one. Here's my message. Ain't going to happen. Not going to do it. Not on my watch. Not on his watch. We will defend. Hey, here's a guarantee. We're not going to depose any governments and use our CIA to come in and, and you know, destabilize. We're not going to do it. Not going to happen. We're not going to use your drug cartels to fill our slush funds. America, not going to do it.
00:12:24
Speaker
Hey, Barb, do you want anything from Mexico? We're going. We would never do anything like that. That's like, I just laughed. Anyway, that knows they're fucking American history. It's just like, we're going to help you guys out. We're like, we're in America. We're going to take down these cartels. Yeah, we fucked up a lot of things. and we We did not win that war. Hey, look, it's Judge Reinhold again.
00:12:50
Speaker
He almost, he almost has a George Bush. Hey, car's getting away. Runaway car. Hey, runaway Barb. and She ran away from me one day. Found her. She's not that fast. She was going downhill. Easy to catch her when she's going downhill. Got them short little legs. I'll tell you what though, that little heifer can run. Sorry for calling you a heifer, Barb. Come back. Didn't run away, Barb. She's gone again.
00:13:13
Speaker
But so we meet our our hero, Mr. Gator,
00:13:20
Speaker
playing Jake Preston. They're going into an area of offensive drug cartel activity. And at first I thought he meant offensive not offensive. I'll tell you what they're doing. What they're doing over there is offensive. I couldn't abide by it. They're using the word and I'm not talking about fuck.
00:13:42
Speaker
Right out of the gate, we got a bunch of dead people. ah Dobbs, whoever the fuck that guy was. He's always been below. We just met him and his death is impacting them. Like I didn't I didn't see him in the credits, like in the IMDB at first. And I was like, oh, who's Dobbs? I went to look it up and then I was like, oh, never mind. He's out here. He came out just as fast as he came in. Story of my life. Yeah, I've been there.
00:14:11
Speaker
i yeah
00:14:15
Speaker
this is not a place for you to pick up women although you can try hello ladies are you interested in some mediocre sex and terrible love
00:14:26
Speaker
No, me neither. Do you want to help me find a comfortable spot in life to wait and die? We'll wait and die together. Hello. Reading books, mostly on the backs of shampoo bottles and conditioners. I like long walks in video games. And I love taking chances in the game of risk.
00:14:50
Speaker
ah you go now you can just submit that to a video dating service you're good to go you are like but go ahead you forgot to include you have a decision making coin oh that's Why didn't you call me for a second date? Why didn't you call me for a second date? Well, the coin said no. The coin said not today, Satan. Good, read bad. But yeah, he gives his like. ah I was going to say impassioned speech, but dispassioned speech like they're heroes and they should be avenged. Yeah, I think we should go kill him. I'm chomping at the bit. Anybody else is mad as I am. I am hopping mad.
00:15:34
Speaker
Piss right off. I get where he's trying to come from. He's trying to be cool, calm, collected, but he is upset because he's not trying to piss off, like be that wild character or his actor. Like, that's just not him. Let him be. You got to let him do it. You'll be fine if he's like, with all due respect, that's bullshit. I am the greatest day of the dentist. It's just something, you know, and then it' like, hey, you get the fuck out of here before we get you the fuck out of the army.
00:16:04
Speaker
Something like that, you know, let them be. um So, yeah, before this, we had gotten full cage. So I just looked at my my challenge list for myself. 365 days of Nick Cage here on a go letterbox. ah So we've gotten Valley Girl, which is a mellower caging out. But then we had that's when he was still trying to find his cage. Yeah. Then we had Peggy Sue got married where he is just fucking just all over the place on the 86.
00:16:32
Speaker
six I think, uh, yes. 86 86. And then, and then raising Arizona moonstruck vampires kiss and wild at heart. We're all before this. All right. All right. I mean, yeah, he does go full cage and pretty much all those, uh, you all know, I would deck my statement and I in fact have been shown the right.
00:16:56
Speaker
Carrie, proceed. There's a whole room of like Joint Chiefs of Staff or whatever, but the two that matter are ah McNeil, who's played by Dale Dye, who I mentioned, came up with the story for this, and General Olcott, who's barely in the movie, but he matters to us because he is played by a guy named J.A. Preston, who was in Remo Williams, The Adventure Begins. Isn't Cage's name Jack Preston? Yeah, Jake Preston. Jake Preston.
00:17:26
Speaker
And then this guy's name is J.A. Presley. I was wondering how I fucking knew this cat. Yeah, he's he's a the very Scottish sounding Con McCleary in Remo Williams, the adventure. Oh, I'm calling the clearing. You know, I come from Oakland. Small town across the pond. He shows up for a fashion in Air Force One, but small, small part. Yeah. Yeah. So I think I'm going to do this this cage thing with Derek.
Tommy Lee Jones Surprises and Helicopters
00:17:56
Speaker
I mean, you're going to end up watching most of them with me probably. Yeah, you might as well. You're going to be like, might as well make it part of your idea. Right. I might as well like jump on that bandwagon. Yeah. Well, I started early because spoiler to the people listening and watching ah this episode comes out in February, but we're recording it on December 30th. So this is my first dive into 365 days of Cage. A nose dive. Try not to pull up.
00:18:24
Speaker
ah took them vertical So we go to Fort Mitchell, which is at Pima Community College West. We meet Tommy Lee Jones. dude I did not know he was. I don't pay attention to who's going to be on the movie. And I saw him and I was like, oh, Tommy, that was a really cool surprise when people pop up.
00:18:45
Speaker
I like to, you know how Dave Anthony goes into his podcast, not knowing shit or not Dave Anthony. gar gar reynolds Yeah. And not knowing shit. I'm like, that's a fun way of doing life. I want to do that. fuck Yeah. I like to go through life not knowing shit. Like we do the secret movies. And Derek, Derek tries to figure out what movie it is. And I'm like, I'm just going to go and enjoy my popcorn.
00:19:07
Speaker
I mean, that's it for me. I'm like, well, I'm sitting in some usually air conditioned theater, even popcorn, hanging out with friends. I'm going to get my five bucks worth. Yeah. I'm going to sit here and finish my popcorn, dude. So Tommy Lee Jones is playing Brad Little. He's there to teach them to help them master air to air combat because they're all masters of air to ground. But who else has helicopters? Well, I mean, but also air to ground. Not that hard to master, dude. You just fly above them and shoot them fucking down and don't let them shoot you back. Done. just hover ah hover above and rain death. And we have to confront the forces of evil and kill them deader than hell. There's so many there's I'm glad you like there's so many I wrote down that are just like a plot important, but just really fucking fun things to say. Just good Tommy Lee lines. Tommy Lee, by the way, he's loving this movie.
00:20:00
Speaker
I could listen to his voice. Like his voice is meant to be over radio. Yes. Like when he's on that head, that headset was like more of that, please. Can we get like a Tommy Lee Jones app where he just reads the stories to me? Right on the echo. You could have Sam Jackson. Why can't we? Yeah. Why can't we get Tommy Lee Jones? Uh, you can get Alec Baldwin and it's really creepy.
00:20:23
Speaker
I don't want to be part of that. i I put it on once and I don't know how to turn it off. So if I if I set an alarm on my echo, it goes ah when it goes off, it's like, no, it's like, hey there, time to wake up. Come on. You got to get going for your day. Like, oh, dude, get out of my house. terrifying You keep it in your pants, dude. Actually, let me keep it in my pants. It sounds like you're about to take it out.
00:20:54
Speaker
so He sounds as pushy as Nicolas Cage in this movie. Girl, that's the first half of this movie. I was like, he's supposed to be our hero, right? Yeah. I was fully expecting some sort of roofy scene coming up with how he's fucking thrown it.
00:21:09
Speaker
But so basically, spain pay special attention to Nicolas Cage, because surprise, he's the best. He's the greatest. Just like the best around. Yeah. It's like it says down there. I am the greatest. Other side. I guess it is over there. Yeah, but I'll fuck it up. but you Oh, yeah, I did it right. marie OK, so I don't remember what the context for this line is, but it's another good Tommy Lee Jones line. ah You're going to be as busy as a three peckered goat when they're sitting in the cockpit and he goes to fucking. life
00:21:44
Speaker
But what's the con? Oh, it's when he's still got to fly and shoot and be in the helicopter and you've got to fly and shoot and point and steer and correct. Well, I thought you didn't understand the analogy. I'm like, go to the point. And if you had three peckers, you'd fuck three times more. No, I just couldn't remember the context for why Tommy Lee Jones said that. And it's funny because you you read that and it's pretty obviously a Tommy Lee Jones line, but it could also very easily be a Nicolas Cage line. So. Oh, yeah. I'll be the three pecker. Go.
00:22:14
Speaker
this is We talked about Apaches, by the way, these helicopters, which are fucking rad. I'm sure listener Taker Tom has more information than I do on it. But these are like, especially at the time, the baddest birds in the sky. Well, the scorpion was a pretty badass bird, too. Yeah, I think that's all made up. I think an Apache fucked that thing up. I don't know about all of the stuff they said about it, but it's I didn't write it down because it's a helicopter. It's some kind of Swedish attack helicopter. So it can't be all right. That's already fake. Swedes don't attack. Everyone knows that this is this is a Swedish attack helicopter. It sounds like some so sex move before anything else.
00:22:50
Speaker
called Can I get the Swedish helicopter to go? Ooh, the attack cop, that's good. It's got clean. I gave her the old Swedish attack helicopter. if say Oh, you dog. yes please but but But so we we meet our we meet our love interests. Billy Lee Guthrie, played by Sean Young. For those who don't know, she's Einhorn from um Ace Ventura. But also she pops up in her. She's like the main love interest, I think, if I remember right, in No Way Out with Kevin Costner, which I believe is a Kevin Costner movie. I've seen that Jack has not. Yeah, I do believe i've said that she's on the poster.
00:23:32
Speaker
Yeah. I think by i was going to say, if I'm remembering, she's his love interest. And then she also she's in so she's in Blade Runner. Yeah, of course. She's going to one that you might not know that I think you would enjoy. It's a spoof movie with Armando Santi and her. And it's called ah Fatal Instinct instead of Basic Instinct of Fatal Attraction. Oh, yeah. Fatal Instinct. it's It's a fun, stupid like spoof on new art movies. And she's good in it. She she has a way of being And I mean this in the highest regard, like masculine, sexy. You know, I mean, like she's not a super girly girl. She's got some like real strong features. Probably why she got cast for her part days, Ventura, spoilers for East Ventura, but he found Captain Winky. She has a penis. but um Oh, she's also in Dune. David Lynch is Dune. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:24:30
Speaker
So he's trying to ask her out for a drink. And so this confused me for the first half of the movie, because he sees her and he's like, hey, you want me to drink? And she's like, no. I'm like, OK, cool. He's interested. Fine. Yeah, you don't know there's a hidden. Yeah. And then a little while they go to the laundromat, they go to the laundromat and she's like, he's hitting on her and she's like, we're not doing this again. And I'm like, is there a cut scene? Like, no, they just met.
00:24:52
Speaker
When they get out of the helicopters after that first drive around, once he's done being a three-pecker goat in a fucking chicken house, he gets out, and Tom Lee Jones introduces him, and they look at each other, and she says his name, because they say this is Preston, and this is yada-yada, and she's like, hey, Jake. She said his first name, and then Tom Lee Jones says, do you have a problem with women in the military? He's like, no, just that one. Only that one.
00:25:16
Speaker
So like I thought it was pretty, I thought it was pretty written out for, at least for me to like, this is an ex-boyfriend girlfriend situation. Okay. See, I took it when he said that as more of like, I don't know, I don't like her being in here because I want to bang her. Oh, okay. I could see that though. Like I don't like that one because she won't sleep with me. Yeah.
00:25:39
Speaker
But she turns them down um multiple times. We have a few shots throughout this of McNeil getting debriefs about the cartel. Like this guy's whole job on this movie, besides coming up with the story, was he does the intro and then he sits in a room and just records all of his stuff in one day and then he shows up for the last scene. Yeah, yeah he's barely on the chair.
00:26:01
Speaker
Yeah all of his stuff is in a chair watching screens. He's very Wilford Brimley and Remo Williams. Yeah exactly. Guy in the chair. I didn't see that one guy, sorry. we Let's watch it. Has it been long enough now that you're like, I want to watch it again. I want to see what your wife did. There's a couple scenes in that movie that made me genuinely laugh. It's usually the guy in, ah forgive the term, a yellow face.
00:26:28
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a it's a egregious makeup. um What I remember the most about that movie is Fred Ward diving into a pile of sand and popping out of the top like Bugs Bunny. Best scene in the movie. And there was a fight on the Statue of Liberty. Second best scene in the movie. And he cuts a hole in glass with a diamond that's on the bad guy's tooth. Patrick Kilpatrick, third best scene in the movie.
00:26:53
Speaker
So I remember the three best scenes of the movie. I remember listening to you guys talk about it like but the podcast because I listen. I listen. You should listen to. Well, if they're listening to this, they listen. Stop trying to sell our listeners on listening to us. If you do want to sell them, sell them. Patreon dot.com slash where's people for $3 a month where you get two bonus episodes every month. What do you mean for that to turn into an ad?
00:27:19
Speaker
Well, why not? um So the bad guy, the main bad guy, besides just generic drug cartels is this guy, Eric Stoller, who's played by someone named Bert Ryan. And I thought he looked familiar. So I looked him up, literally his only movie. So he does not look familiar. He looks like on the professional. Oh, I was thinking he looks like an off brand. Svenal Thorson. Oh, dude. Yeah. This guy wishes he was Svenal Thorson's pubes.
00:27:46
Speaker
Sven, old person. No. Who's the guy? you're Oh, the helicopter, the bad guy. Helicopter pilot. Oh, yeah. At one shot, I was like George Clooney. i Fat fat old George Clooney. Yeah, George Clooney today. Even though he's still not fat. So we're never going to get fat old Clooney. We're just going to get still sexy old Clooney. Yeah, you guys suck. He's going to be the sexiest fucking casket in the goddamn cemetery.
00:28:10
Speaker
ah Speaking of caskets, did anybody else notice that the drop chief of staff table looked like a coffin? Oh, no, I didn't notice that. a hundred percent. I'm used to like the big round room thing. You know, where it's a huge big round table with all the guys around it. This was like it literally is like it was coffin shaped. It was a diamond with flat top and bottom, a little ominous.
00:28:37
Speaker
So they have a birthday party for Tommy Lee Jones, which I'm only going to mention because this is the first appearance of a guy who's going to be on the podcast well on the Patreon a lot for the next few months.
Nightclub Scene and Final Battle Setup
00:28:49
Speaker
Because in the background, you see Rice, who is played by peterar Peter, Peter Onorati, who is detective LaRusso on Cop Rock. Dude, Cop Rock is so goddamn fun. I never thought I'd say this. Hold your horses, guys. ah Cop Rock is more fun than Renegade.
00:29:07
Speaker
I said it so I believe it is more fun. All right. If Lorenzo Lamas just busted out into a song every now and then, I caught the bad guy. He's in handcuffs. We could talk again. That bitch killed my wife. well they had made Did you know my wife is dead? My wife is dead. If they made Renegade now, there would at least be that one obligatory musical episode that most shows seem to throw in. Yeah. Why do they do that?
00:29:35
Speaker
for Just for the people that are like, I don't like that show, but it has a musical episode. All right, I'll check it out. I'm in. But yeah, Derek could text us and said, keep your eyes out for a cop rock cameo. And I was looking way too hard because there's so many like nobody actors in cop rock. And I'm like, is it this guy in the background? Was it him? And then finally this guy walked up like, yes, that's it right there. Easy enough to spot.
00:30:00
Speaker
Well, you see him really closely um at the surprise party. He's like center stage in the background. Oh, I didn't catch him at the surprise party. I caught him walking up to the helicopter with him. So I missed. I missed the obvious one. Yeah, we see him later. ah we if We see him obviously straight on because he becomes a character at the end of the movie. But I wouldn't have seen him here. Whitney was like, oh, there's the resource. So then I started looking and hes he's at the party. He's just in the background. I think he's wearing a party hat. No, that's why I recognize him.
00:30:27
Speaker
i do so He was smiling, so you wouldn't recognize him. He wasn't shooting the handcuff, people. Hard to tell. Hey, guys. I'm getting really antsy today. I've been in the house a couple days. um I want to get out. Can we go somewhere? I have some things to do. I mean, I don't know if you know this music box, ah the adult beverage place that is. They have live music almost like minimum twice a week, sometimes much more. And like as a fan of somebody that likes staying on the east side, I can't think of a place that does as much live music with zero cover. Can I get shots there? You can get shots there. You can get drinks there. You can get beers there. You can get pudding shots. You can get jello shots. You're putting me on. I am not putting you on. This is real. Oh, they've got karaoke. They've got unhappy hour every Wednesday. You know I love karaoke. Saturday nights, they've got open mic stand-up comedy. Yeah, so there's plenty going on over at the music box. We can go down there to 6951 East 22nd Street in Tucson, Arizona. Oh, right there at 22nd and Cole? Yeah. Did I mention no cover? Like, everything we just talked about is no cover. No cover. No cover charge ever. Just drink alcohol and enjoy your friends. It's just like my insurance. There's no cover. Music box lounge. Check it out. All right, first round's on me, boys.
00:31:46
Speaker
hey guys i don't want to sound needy here i' needy but we have a patreon at patreon dot com slash for people And it only costs $3 a month. $3 a month is nothing. And I know times are hard right now. Real hard for me. Inflation's up. You can't afford your groceries. Can't eat. But you can't afford $3 a month if you love us. Give us $3. Super love us. Please love us. We're not begging. I'm begging. We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh, boy. I mean. My knees hurt. They've been on the oven for so long. But we do kind of need the money. I need the money, Baden. We need to equip it.
00:32:23
Speaker
We need to do equipment. We need to do remote podcasts for all of you. I wouldn't mind eating. We need to have video. I wouldn't mind eating. ah We need more drinks. Food sounds good. So please check out patreon dot.com slash worst people. Please check us out. You get a bonus episode every month and we're going to have more content coming for you. I'll send you pictures. ah Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Please give me patreon dot.com. I'm being held hostage here. Slash worst people. I don't think all of you out of here. They're going to kill me.
00:32:51
Speaker
fun fact about this surprise party, but I'll say it when we get there. Well, we're there. Oh, surprise party. Guess where this was filmed. Oh, that's the nightclub. The surprise party. That's what I thought at first. Well, that's coming up here. We'll just talk about the nightclub real quick. OK, that's right after the flight simulator. But since she brought it up.
00:33:09
Speaker
If anybody has ever been to a strip club, a speedway in Craigroft in Tucson called Tenz. Is this Tenz? Yeah. At the time, it was VIP show club. Do you remember what I think it was before we were in high school? I think it changed. It changed when we were in high school. I've only known it as Tenz. I mean, it wasn't on the up and up and high school strip clubs, except for the Empress, because that was 18 and older. 18 and up. And the Bunny Ranch. Well, that didn't exist. Oh, it didn't exist when you guys were in high school? The Empress became the Bunny Ranch. No, Empress and Bunny Ranch were two different places because they were both there when I turned 21 or 18. I'm going to believe the guy was probably going there on a nightly basis. No, I've only ever been to Bunny Ranch once, never went to Empress, but Empress is now a CVS.
00:33:55
Speaker
Bunny Ranch is still a strip club. I do remember that the Empress was right next to McDonald's. Yeah, the Empress became a CVS. I remember reading, no one cares about this, but I'm gonna tell it anyway. I remember reading an article comparing- It's the fucking Arizona month. We're talking about Tucson strip clubs. Nothing can be more fucking resident.
00:34:12
Speaker
the The people in the neighborhood were trying to get the places that they didn't approve of being to be closed down. And I remember reading about Empress being shut down and they were like, well, now there's just two more businesses that cater to those people that we need to get rid of. One of them was Bunny Ranch, which is now something else. I can't remember. And then the other one would be Fascinations, which is right next to Bunny Ranch. Yeah. Fascinations is amazing. And you're a fucking pro people. you You mean people that like orgasms? Is that a bad thing? Right. I didn't ah realize that was naughty. Fascinations didn't hire me. They missed out. Yeah. But so there's a scene of flight simulator training. They knew that would have gone and broke on your employee discount. yeah I'll take two.
00:34:59
Speaker
Which I guess this flight simulator is a real thing, or was. It's an AH-1 flight weapons simulator for the Cobra helicopter at Western Army Aviation Training Site in Arizona. No, no, no. This isn't a Nintendo 64 game ah Wing Commander or something like that. I've seen this. Or is this the early version of Minecraft?
00:35:20
Speaker
I don't know about what they were seeing inside of it, but the outside where you see the the little fair ride that rotates the what was the Star Wars? Star Tours, Star Tours. Yeah, that little thing. And also the Back to the Future ride. ah We get a little thing and it goes me, me, me. Yeah. Yeah. ah We have his his co-pilot or his gunner ah breaker breaker is like a mix of Brian Austin Green and Paul. Paul Walker. Paul Walker.
00:35:50
Speaker
Uh oh. Uh oh. Did Jack freeze? Jack froze and it is the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's the best picture. There you are. Hi. I can't wait till you see how you froze the first time. Oh, I'm coming back. You're like. you She said Brian Austin Green. I was like, with who else? With Paul Walker. Oh, man.
00:36:17
Speaker
Paul had no shoulders. yeah it's like like oh It's like if Brian Austin Green or Paul Walker ever did like, I don't know, late weightlifting. Yeah. ah A little bit of Chris O'Donnell in there. Yeah. Yeah, I can see it. But except, you know, he can at least act a little.
00:36:38
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, he's a nobody. It's a guy named Brian Kessner. ah The two things I recognize from his credits were Monster Squad and The Running Man. But Running Man, he played med tech and spot it was another an unnamed character. So yeah, as soon as you said a Running Man is like he's not a main.
00:36:56
Speaker
Now, he's a guy who probably walks on screen for two seconds. Yeah. he I don't know. He drags a professor to knock off screen or something. I don't know. Sub-zero.
00:37:11
Speaker
Yes, he plays Sub-Zero. That's right. Whitney's like, what the hell are you talking about? And why are we talking about Mortal Kombat? Yeah. but Now, Professor Tanaka wife was ah the big gentleman in three ninjas that they had to practice like ah Tom Tom had to punch him in the balls or whatever happened. Yeah. He's also in Peewee Herman is the is Preston's Butler. Hey, this movie has Preston.
00:37:40
Speaker
Oh, there's Preston's all over. Preston's and Shannon's are all connected, guys. Oh, yeah. There's a right here in this scene. So, well, they do that thing. They totally Jones keeps, you know, going harder and harder. And his sidekick is like, that level is only meant for experts. And he's like, boy, if you keep making me say everything twice, I don't know why he just became Hank Hill, but it's pretty close. Yeah. second So we were.
00:38:33
Speaker
is gonna be like a fucking Letterman skit where he just always says no McDonald's snowed in even though I'm sitting right there different go to or it's just goingnna be a picture of The week like what's he gonna fuck with us now? No, it's gonna be this the rest of our lives dude at least At least until we watch it. And even if we watch it, if it's anywhere near fun for him, like if it's not just a boring, bad movie, it's going to be in our lives forever. I'm sorry. yeahre but You're not wrong. Well, as long as he lives, at least.
00:39:05
Speaker
No, he'll fucking leave a ah fucking will to somebody. His last will and testament is you must run by with this DVD cover at least once a month. You can pick. If it was me, I would do one at the end of the month and one at the beginning of the month, like two days in a row of it, because then you get a good I am the greatest. It starts it starts calm though. It's like I'm the greatest and he blows it. I am the greatest and then pretty soon if you're just walking by the simulator you're just getting I am the greatest. I am the greatest. I am it. Hey knock knock who's there? Me. The greatest. It's like if somebody was walking by your house right now. Oh yeah. You can hear me like texting me. Dude you okay buddy?
00:40:25
Speaker
I don't know if you realize that the whole neighborhood can hear you yelling, you are the greatest. Well, they should know. Sorry. yeah Sorry, I was just masturbating. Yeah, this is where Derek gets his the opening line from skip it, bop it, pull it, twist it, smoke them as you got them, scab them, whatever. Yeah, rub it down. I mean, there's all kinds of little ism like like nicknames here like Angry Turtle, 12 o'clock, got them, zapped them, snort this.
00:40:52
Speaker
like just making up their own lingo as they go. So, yeah, he but then he has to put down this little monocle thing that does a target. It's a targeting computer, I guess. And he can't focus. And he can't focus on it. I don't know if this is the same thing, but I know that like the Apaches, at least Craig, if I'm wrong, Tiger Tom, when the the gunner moves his head, that's what controls the front gun. You don't aim that with a stick or anything. It's how you move. So this might be part of that.
00:41:20
Speaker
He's a real fucking smart. So I'm I'm thinking that's something to do with that. Whether he's or the pilot has control of different guns or missiles. Yeah, there's something along those lines because he's like, you need to match what you're seeing on the grid with what you're seeing. Well, it's the front gun because he's the pilot. Right. And then the other guy is the gunner. So it's the front gun, the pilot controls, because that's what he uses to take out second is whatever his fucking name is.
00:41:48
Speaker
ah But so yeah, he he fucks up there, but he just still did it pretty good. Everybody's pretty happy for him. He wasn't supposed to be at that level There's a there's a quick thing I have to mention We barely see her so I wouldn't have recognized her if I didn't see her in the credits But he goes into the hangar afterwards and he goes up to this woman who's working on one of the helicopters or helping unload or something And he's like, hey Sharon, where's Billy? Oh I don't know if I want to tell you. Well, Sharon, Sharon is played by Ilana Shoshan. Oh, we also played a character named Sharon. We know the name Stone Cold. Oh, yeah, I would not have pulled that. So this is a shared sha universe. with This is where
00:42:34
Speaker
Yeah, this is where she met the guy that was there like military guy. Yeah. oh And got them the helicopter and stuff. crazy yeah Great. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Great. Yeah. I'll tell you what, man, this movie would have definitely been improved with a little Lance Hendrickson. Well, I mean, to be honest, what we wouldn't valid point, but you like there' nothing against no nothing pilot or no no name pilot because they do a good job of keeping him Visored down, like mysterious and dark, right? But imagine if it was Lance Hendrickson, I'm gonna fly up behind you and shove this rock at the fucking ass and just be alive and eat you. Yeah, in a priest uniform to whom?
00:43:36
Speaker
the bad guys, they show them, but they're just black visor, silent pilots like our American pilots are always chitter chattering and bit bapping back and forth. Yeah, but we're not on their channel with those guys, but they don't even they don't even they're just sitting there just like stoically. Well, I don't believe you referencing non white people, which means they are not as good at us as ah flying. Well, I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be like Russians. So they're pretty non white is what I say. No, you're 100% right. Those movies are supposed to be more about like, oh, we're against Russia, not the Russian pilots. The Russian, yeah how great would it have been if you would have had like a Red Baron character, much like you're comparing to this. This guy is a Red Baron character. And they never actually say Russian pilots. They're Russian MiGs, but they're, it's an unidentified enemy. Yeah. In those movies. Cause we were done with Russia pretty much, right? So probably we still aren't a Playboy.
00:44:32
Speaker
Well, I mean, we thought we were. We were done for about 30 years. We had a good nap. But so he finds Billy in the laundromat doing her laundry. There's some flirty stuff. This is where we find out that they for sure that they did date before, because she's like, I don't want to do this again. Let's just be friends and goes in for a kiss. And he's like, oh, I thought that was customary friends kiss. And she's like, no, shake hands. Oh, sorry. I thought friends blew each other.
00:44:59
Speaker
I thought friends danced to endless love in the dark. Hey, that's what Whitney and I do. Friends do just slow dance with each other. I don't think that's a normal friend thing. I think that's a you and Whitney. It's a Whitney weird thing.
00:45:15
Speaker
No judgment. That's just not normal. Oh, so I had made the comment. I was like, why is he so rapey? Why is that his cage? And this is and a cage so nothing. rapy This is like this. He seemed to rapey here. This is nothing compared to the nightclub. And then oh when they're flying together in the air. zone And then Derek's like, well, I mean, he is army and my retort was Whitney's army. He's not that rapey. And I just gave him a look. When he takes no for a word, he's like, all right, cool. He takes no for a word. Not an answer. I appreciate that word, but I don't listen to it. No, he does. I know he does. I know you wouldn't hang out with that person.
00:46:01
Speaker
But so, yeah, they go to the nightclub or he does keep her panties, by the way. You know, throw that out there. She says it because he's like going to these bags like you keep them. I'm like, hey, now we're playing games. Yeah, but, you know, OK, sure. She said keep them. He stole them. They could have been. He tried to give them back. He's like Robin Ode of panties.
00:46:22
Speaker
This could have been a Gorbachev chainsaw. Checkoff song. Yeah, because they were light pink. They should have been bright red for a scene that's coming up. No, these were actually supposed to be white, but she, unlike George W, sorry, both George Bushes, she forgot to separate the colors and the whites.
00:46:40
Speaker
A terrible joke, I'm sorry.
00:46:45
Speaker
It works. But it would have been better if... These stuff is like stark white panties, but she left like a red bra in there, and now everything's got a pink hue. It's usually a red sock. No, not this time. She doesn't wear socks. She wears open-toed socks, first of her kind. and Awful. Like you do the whole little gloves that have the fingers showing.
00:47:08
Speaker
that's exactly what i picture tola socks the toe socks where each the tips Of the toes are kind of let to to say the toest socks are for the toe shoes but ah you giving it a little things better quick google here real quick to see if i should start this business but so they go to the nightclub but they exist already course they do. In a lot of different colors too. and Let me see. Is it a company owned by Quentin Tarantino? a It's called
00:47:44
Speaker
who Wow. Okay. I wonder if they're compression. I am the greatest. I am the greatest. To hope my neighbors hear that I am the greatest.
00:48:00
Speaker
So they're at the nightclub. Billy's there and she's dancing and he interrupts her dance and gets into a fight with this dude because he's like, what, you would stop me from dancing with my fiance? It's the 90s. Women don't have a say. He's like, I own her. So I never got like, I own her until this song stops after that. We can talk. But while this music plays, she's mine. Shut up. Nobody asked you, bitch. I'm trying to talk to this guy.
00:48:27
Speaker
This one, we get the thing where he's telling her like, or she's like, well, you just want me to stay home and cook and clean. And he's like, I don't know what's so wrong with that. I have a baby. and cooking It's tradition. Yeah, he does do a little Nick Cage. This is where he we get some more caginess because he does his eyebrow thing. Real quick eyebrows. like I can't even do it that fast.
00:48:53
Speaker
I mean, I can do the one. Ooh, you got the rock. And we back at the base with ah make McNair, whatever the fuck his name was. We find out you know that they they have to be ready to go at a moment's notice because not surprisingly, this movie is going to end with a helicopter battle, which is what you're hoping for, right? Yeah, because all of the cartel members are going to meet in one place very conveniently. We're going to meet at McGuffin Park.
00:49:28
Speaker
Um, so they get teamed up to go out for some more exercises. Um, Nick cage and great car teamed up with Billy, Billy D or whatever. her name is Billy D one leg. Uh, this whole time, Tommy Lee Jones has been lobbying. He's like, let me go on this mission. And they just keep like, no, you're too, you're too important to us. AKA you're too old. Yeah.
00:49:52
Speaker
Well, also, you're the best that we have and we need you to train the rest. I mean, it's valid points on both sides, though, because he says, like, you are the best. like I'm the best there is. And he's like, yeah, which is why we need you to train these younger pilots. He's like, well, experience is only as good as, you know, what you can use. So I need to get out there. Let me play, boys.
00:50:12
Speaker
Well, and it's funny because this whole movie, like one of the big things is how old Tommy Lee Jones is. He's 40, 40 looks like really 40. Well, I don't know if he's really 40 in the movie. He's 40, but he also has a fucking three shippers, like a five year old, a three year old and like a two month old. Well, it's a year. Okay. It's sitting up. So it's, I don't know how old babies do 13 or three, but he has a kid. Look, they're all small. One of them still bald.
00:50:42
Speaker
one of them still on the bottom. That's what I meant. So a young under a ear. ah But they do have this like so they get paired up. It's it's Nick Cage and breaker with Guthrie and she's flying the scout helicopter, which can paint the laser's targets and whatever. It's got a droid on top of it. I was like, yeah, Kenny. Yeah, it's got a fucking droid.
00:51:06
Speaker
But like ah this is that really uncomfortable scene of like he's it's uncomfortable to watch. Like it made me squirm a little. It's also I just felt really bad for breaker and her partner's a buzz. They're listening to all this because he's just saying shit like he's like, oh, I've got a view of your tail. That's mind boggling. And he gets on top.
00:51:30
Speaker
flies above. Yeah. If I remember correctly, you locked me on top. I've got a great view of your tail. She's got a couple of good comebacks. One of them, she's like, well, we've both been there when your guns don't go off. also She's like, you need to get a hold of yourself. He's like, I've got a hold of myself. And she's like, then you don't need me.
00:51:49
Speaker
Sure, my guns didn't go off, but I'm not getting wasted before I go flying. I didn't have 20 Egger bombs before I tried to fly. That's the difference. I know in today's world that's just, that's not apropos, if you will. like This is 1990, it was 100% acceptable. He probably got a medal. See, I'm still in that fucking mind of frame. If you're going to talk to me like that, brit should expect some retorts. I'm surprised, buzzed, and just like, can we can we keep this candle ah channel clean, please? We got we gotta to keep this channel clean, especially from rape talk like that. If anybody's going to be seduced, it's going to be me.
00:52:25
Speaker
Well, because because he should say so anything in this movie because Breaker is sitting there and he's just like, oh, that's really funny. I like how you sexually harass women. You're so smooth, dude. She's busting your balls, bro. Yeah, there's then they go to this boxing gym, which is just apparently the high school gym for Amfi High School here in Tucson.
00:52:50
Speaker
ah Yeah, boxing gym. There's no ring. It's just hardwood floor. Yeah. I guess it's just a gym. yeah yeah Not even like a specialty like swim gym. Yeah, there's with there's no mats on the floor anywhere. We did fight on a mat. Maybe one guy's name is Matt.
00:53:10
Speaker
Yeah, no, they fought on a map, but I mean, it's probably just like a it's not. I don't think they did. Are you sure? They did. Yeah, they got on top of a map, but it wasn't. It's still not a boxing ring. It's not well yet for taking up or not on. It's it's for doing like tumbles and so it's gymnastics. Yeah, I definitely thought it was just straight hardwood floor.
00:53:29
Speaker
It's whatever the school had available. and that's because i love you can see it like it's like Even the military wouldn't have this because they have the thing on the ground that says like Fort Marshall, but it's just like a white banner that they like laid on the ground. They're like, nobody step on this. It wrinkles if you step on it. we have One banner, do not make this the most expensive shot in the movie, please. We're talking about flying helicopters that are replacing banners every fucking take.
00:53:53
Speaker
But Nick Cage and Tommy Lee Jones box a little, and he Nick Cage takes him out because, you know, he's young and virile, so.
00:54:03
Speaker
Darnell was a prom queen. We get the morning word. Tommy Lee Jones wakes up from getting punched in the face and he's in pain, but he was walking around like when I wake up. Because he said his back hurts.
00:54:17
Speaker
He got fucking splayed out, dude. That's what I'm saying. At least he got knocked out and he's walking around like this. I just wake up like this. Understood. There's a cute little thing. but will you God damn it, wife. You're treating me like I got shot in the dick. You might want to check and make sure it's still there. Yeah. shit And like he was even, he was even like only had 10 minutes to get to work. It's like, you know what though?
00:54:41
Speaker
I got time for fucking the misses. I always got time. You recognize this chick at all? That's what I was about to ask if you guys recognized her. I mean, I recognize her from I just watched it because, you know, recording is just after Christmas. She didn't scrooge, but she's also in all the lethal weapons as the psychiatrist. Also in Die Hard and Ricochet as the same character. She's in Die Hard and Ricochet. She's Gail Whalen, who is the news reporter.
00:55:08
Speaker
Oh, wow. Shared universe. Yeah. And she's Gail Whalen in ricochets. So somebody's mom, she is Mrs. Walsh in the Goonies. That's who it is. Yes. Excellent. Yeah. Like I was going through her stuff and it's like, I was like, we're going to be talking about most of her career because we've got romancing, the stone, the Goonies, all the lethal weapons, monster squad, action, Jackson, diehard, ricochet, Scrooge, Congo. So yeah mongo we'll be seeing her again.
00:55:37
Speaker
Oh, and speaking of Congo. Ugly gorilla. Ugly gorilla. where is Get there. Congo. I have to talk about Congo because I just got this special 4K box from vinegar syndrome. Look at that. Yeah. fuck Yeah. Ernie Hudson, Tim Curry to name a few. Bruce Campbell. I said to name a few.
00:56:02
Speaker
Gotta leave some spoilers, babe. Yeah, when he doesn't want to know who's in it. Don't spoil it for me. He's in the trailer. Don't spoil it for me. I didn't watch it. And there is another quick scene of cagey-ness that has nothing to do with anything other than Tommy Lee Jones is old and in pain right now because that cage goes running past him and he's doing this fucking high knee run. Yeah, Whitney was like, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine. Because this dude is just running and his knees are going up to his face. And he's like, how are you doing today? Oh, yeah, I'm good. And Tommy's like slowly walking up the steps. And he says, like, all good. Like, am I going to get am i good in trouble for knocking your old ass out? So all I want to know.
00:56:43
Speaker
All right, cool, not honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. I guess there's supposed to be 20 years between the two of them, right? I mean, that's that is kind of a gap, dude, like I wouldn't want to fucking go toe to toe with a 22 year old right now unless it was a whiskey drinking competition. girl You know, we win that. You know, that's one thing you do get better at with age. You don't go to recovery. He would have another contest tomorrow and I would have $50 in Lucky Wishbone.
00:57:12
Speaker
See, you have a fight. He wins. You have a drinking contest. You win. Then you have another fight. He loses. Oh, five after a couple of banana dagger is not before fermented pickles, fermented pickles, fermented pickles. You'd be an absurd have a banana and shut up a fermented pickle. Come down the hard bottle and get a fermented pickle. How do you think we make pickle beers?
00:57:40
Speaker
with a little bit of love and a spot ketchup. Love and ketchup. What are we talking about? I'm pretty sure that's a Leonardo DiCaprio movie, right? Love and ketchup is a great one. Leo DiCaprio, Leo. Oh no, he was in the basketball diaries. yeah no but and Basketball gives me diarrhea. If I run and do it at the same time, I poop my pants, I'll tell you.
00:58:07
Speaker
I can't have another banana. Okay, I'll have one more banana. One more banana is for you. Speaking of poop in your pants. Cool. Oh, I'm back. I'm back. Sorry, what happened? The next scene is Nick Cage training to fly in what's called the bag.
00:58:24
Speaker
Terrifying. So they put him in this, they put him in the back of the helicopter, but they just cover everything with plastic bags. Yeah, he can't see out the windows. So he's got to find his duct tape and black trash bags. He's got to fly this, I don't know, $40 million helicopter.
00:58:41
Speaker
ah conservatively. I mean, I'm going to put it like, fuck, I don't even know. 80s money, $40 million. dollars That's what I mean, $40 million dollars then. Yeah, so $15 million. Because right now right now, one missile costs about $120 million, so. It's a smart missile though.
00:59:00
Speaker
But yeah, so it's fly. It's total darkness. He only has the targeting systems and everybody's like, oh, no, but he gets confused with targeting systems. Well, you know, the you know what the thing is? He puts the little thing down. He just needs to put it back up and trust the force. Yeah. Oh, for sure, dude. Much like Eddie Murphy told Judge Reinhold and Beverly Hills Cop one. Oh, you mean. ah Damn it. I got beer on the. Dude, I was setting up so fucking. strength in you feel Yeah.
00:59:29
Speaker
There he is. I got beer on my finger and I went to touch the touch pad and it wouldn't work. I was like, ooh, I have a perfect judge mind whole moment. Yes. Sorry. Got him. Got him. well Yeah. Anyway, so he's, he's, he has one chance to pass, one more chance to pass it or fail it. You fail. You're out of the fucking program. Pilgrim. yeah That's it.
00:59:55
Speaker
Yeah. And so Sean Young's there and she's kind of like, Hey, look, it's what it's a lot like sex. Nobody does good the first time. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say disagree. Ask your mom, Sean, young banger. Got to hope she was alive at that point. Otherwise this is a real sick joke, but she doesn't think she's like, you ever played Cowboys and native Americans before.
01:00:20
Speaker
You know, like where you put your fingers up and start shooting your friends. And that's what she notices. He's right handed, left eye dominant. Yeah. And that's the problem is he can't focus on the camera, the little tiny camera over his right eye and the screen on his left, which just sounds confusing anyway, to be honest. Like I feel like it takes practice. Yeah.
01:00:44
Speaker
Can we just put it on the other side of my face? That was my first thought. I was like, they don't have a little clip where they can just go. why But then there wouldn't be any conflict for the movie. Right. Besides the conflict. Besides, you know, the guns and the bombs and the machine guns and the missiles and the rockets and the cartel and the drug. But that's right. But all those things you just said make up a solid 20 minutes of this 85 minute movie. Yeah. Another 65 minutes is but my left eye doesn't work that good.
01:01:12
Speaker
but We need one more thing. His left eye is not that strong. Perfect. Let's get those red panties from, you know, the the previous laundry scene and time around your face. Yeah. So as they do, they they ah Tommy Lee Jones. Well, we do get a moment which they kind of brush over real quick, which finds a five minute movie. Tommy Lee Jones kind of has a revelation to himself that.
01:01:37
Speaker
He's not helping this kid even though he really he thinks Preston has it and all this stuff He's not helping him that much because if he makes him the best then they won't need Tommy Lee Jones anymore Yeah, he has this moment with his wife where he kind of realizes that but they just brush over it There was something there was something really awkward about watching Tommy Lee Jones eat a fucking fudge sickle. There was something unnerving about it. He's just sitting there like like just he kiss it like it was a fucking sleeping Disney princess ah hugh had chocolate stick for this whole scene.
01:02:13
Speaker
he It's like he just learned how to eat, but on somebody that just learned how to wipe. Well, and like the chocolate on his lips is one thing, but like in the first part, it's in the middle. Then the next shot, it's off to the right and the next shot, it's off to the left. And I'm like, come on, continuity director. You know, just suck that fudge sickle the right way.
01:02:32
Speaker
He's a method actor. He's like, I'm getting a fudge sickle every time. Brand new one. Every single one of that. No fudgey. Oh, fudgey's gone. Do you want me to shoot again? No fudgey. Tommy Lee Jones ain't moving without a goddamn fudgey. I get paid in fudgies. I love him. I love him. I was like, all right, cowboy, let's go to bed. He's like, can I take my ice cream?
01:02:54
Speaker
Well, what are you going to do with that ice cream? I know what I would do with that. Okay, so. Eat it, you weirdo. God, where do you think I was going with that? Hey, I've met you.
01:03:06
Speaker
i know kate out of bed freaking fudies in the bedroom There's a training montage where they ah they put panties over Nick Cage's head like so. OK, periscope is not even on his eye unless the hole is higher than I think. Yeah, the hole is higher. I was thinking the same thing. He has a line coming up in this that was just like this is so cagey and dude and it's like a loss to just a little bit of control back there. But now everything's cool. I get so fucking just who do you think you are, sir? Oh, I know this Elvis Presley. Think you're Elvis Presley. Fucking cage. and Yeah. But he's being he's being Elvis right here.
01:03:49
Speaker
Yeah. That's, that's his, that's, he's been Elvis's whole career obsessed with Elvis. yeah whole life He married like yeah i'm obsessed with Elvis. Yeah. I'm all fucked up. So he's got the periscope on his right eye and it goes up over the top of the jeep. They spray paint the window of the jeep for some reason, even though he's got panties and duct tape on his head. Just in case it's, you know, like getting through. So the military gets pissed later when they're like, why the fuck do we have to replace this windshield? pump p I think you can just pop it right down. I guess that was very they just full but i did it hey everyone in this fucking company put goggles on.
01:04:26
Speaker
deal with it. But so, yeah, basically he's got to drive this Jeep with this rigged up thing, which is what Tommy Lee Jones did when he was younger because he also had an eye dominance problem. And like I'm just I get what they're doing. But like I know this this concept because I've used these things where you're like looking and there's a mirror and there's another mirror up top. And then it goes out. But I'm like, this guy doesn't drive this Jeep slowly. He takes off at fucking full speed. Yeah.
01:04:53
Speaker
in a parking lot of Humvees and other machines. Don't hit other at any other government for how to come. Yeah, if this is me and I'm Tommy Lee Jones, I'm taking you out to the dirt where I like, I can at least like, oh, you ran over cactus that would have been instead people.
01:05:11
Speaker
Yeah, because he could have easily killed some people here, whatever, but he doesn't. He successfully drives. There's a few close calls, but it's a fun scene still. He's got. He's on his head. General. That was the best part when they the the the general or whoever pulls up and his wife, that's it's ADR, but you just hear he got paid. He's on his hands. Yeah, I mean, I'll just like totally John snaps up real quick. Like, oh, shit.
01:05:36
Speaker
but general So good day for a drive. Yeah, I do like to ah ah breakers in the back and he's like, wouldn't this be better if we were all blindfolded because this thing is just whipping around the road breaker. You're supposed to be the comedy relief and you're not.
01:05:54
Speaker
to the propellers fold up and that shoots you in the air get is inspector gadgets act yeah That's not how this works. There might be a little eject from like an Osprey. I don't even think so. But yeah, he's Tommy Lee Jones at one point says, we can survive a crash in this thing at ah an X amount of G's. I can't remember what he said. 20 G's. 20 G's. I'm not going to prove it. But I'm not going to prove it. so And we see later that he, well, we'll get there.
01:06:39
Speaker
Yeah. But so then when they go back into the simulator with the eyepiece and Nick Cage is kicking ass, they do the bag again. And of course he passes, but he does have a great line. Timely Jones is like, he's like, how am I doing? Timely Jones is like, how do you think you're doing, boy? He's like, I'd have to say I'm doing piss. Perfect. And he does like a Southern accent. I don't know what did like perfect means. It means you don't travel on the seat. Okay. All right. I don't know anything about that. You didn't get any on your little crotch area.
01:07:09
Speaker
You didn't pee on the floor. You didn't get me on your hands. it's pit You pissed. Perfect. Well, I don't have a penis and I know that. How do you wash your hands if you're not peeing on them? Oh, God. Have I been doing this wrong? Yes, very wrong. tape I've eaten at your house that you cooked for. You have cooked for me with those piss hands. When I was a kid, I heard that piss was sterile, so I just thought you were supposed to piss on your hands. I mean,
01:07:38
Speaker
There's some logic there that's quite flawed. You know what? Change of subject.
01:07:46
Speaker
For anybody listening on audio, I'm sorry. I'm having a lot of fun with this being video. The Judge Reinhold clip as a poster is is worth it alone, I think. it's but the price of admiss It's just the dude, it's getting so normal. I just love that when I pop it up this way, all we see on the background is Jack flipping off.
01:08:11
Speaker
It's pretty fantastic. I would never flip off judge Reinhold. So Billy takes Nick Cage out on a date to celebrate and they go to at the time it was the tack room here in Tucson.
Car Speculations and Humorous Exchanges
01:08:23
Speaker
Yeah. Now now it's Hacienda del Sol. It's up in the foothills up by La Paloma and whatnot.
01:08:28
Speaker
This drive that they're taking, um also, Jack, what is this car? It's definitely a Corvette. I would guess it's a 67. Yeah, I think it's a 67 Stingray, but I'm not 100% sure on it. That's what I was thinking. I was a little worried they were going to run into Charlie Sheen as the Wraith on these back roads and maybe Clint Howard with that giant fucking hair. Do you know what this road is that they're driving on?
01:08:54
Speaker
That's on the way to Old Tucson? I was thinking, well, maybe I was thinking, uh, Saguaro National Monument East off of Houghton. And that's where Wraith is filmed, I believe. I just looked up because I wasn't sure. Wraith was 1986. I was like, maybe they did run into each other. ah That was right before Nick Cage had done the high knee runs. He ran into Charlie Sheen. and I was going to say, you don't think that that fucking left a coke trail from 86 to 1990 down Tucson back roads? Fucking better believe it. That's how you get behind me.
01:09:26
Speaker
I got cocaine in my high knee hole. So, yeah, they go on this date. They're dancing. They're fucking it's beautiful. She has a line because it's a quick flip, in my opinion. It's a very quick flip from I hate you and yada yada to then he's like, why do you change ah less to take off?
01:09:45
Speaker
She first comes out to meet him and he's like, you look great. And she's like this old thing. And I'm like, I've seen what you've been wearing this whole movie lady. This is this old thing. Yeah. You've been dressed like a fucking 1990s mom just doing house chores this entire movie. Now all of a sudden you got fucking curves. But I respect that. she's He's like, let's just skip dinner and get to the fucking. And she's like, ah, first of all, little anticipation, a little patience, also food. And she gets kind of her I'm going to be hangry voice.
01:10:15
Speaker
But I'm sure everybody in a relationship has heard this from their their partner, like food. Never. I've never heard my wife get angry at anything. I just try and feed people all the time, so it never gets there. I'm pretty sure Jack has heard my angry voice. I try not to. It's why I carry around a pocket full of pretzels. But so then the last act of this movie is literally the last act of Top Gun. First, it's air to air combat versus your instructors. Yep.
01:10:43
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. In this case, it is Tommy Lee Jones and Detective LaRusso from Cop Rock. right Rice man. Rice man. Or instead of Ice Man, it's Rice Man. It's so stupid. They went so far with that, right? Instead of Goose, you will be playing caboose.
01:11:02
Speaker
You'll be playing duck. You'll be playing. Oh, that doesn't work. People can't just yell duck in war. Never mind. And instead of Maverick, you're going to be we're going to go with the Rick. I didn't even make that connection. Tommy Lee Jones is Rattler. Yes. Yeah. yeah ah Tom. so i'm scared Tom Tom Scarat. Thank you. Is Viper.
01:11:23
Speaker
Oh, shit. Wow. yeah They didn't even try. Not even a fucking smidge, dude. Nice man.
01:11:37
Speaker
I bet you they tried to get timely jokes to grow a mustache, but just didn't look right. I don't think I want to see him with a mustache. She's got a good look. You see it. You see it. It's like almost like a pencil. It's almost like. But I mean, like with ah a Tom Scarritt must get mustache. He. Yeah. Probably look a lot more like a racist sheriff. So. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want him to say the word boy if he's got a little thin mustache like that. It works when you're talking to Nicholas Cage. Don't get cocky boy.
01:12:04
Speaker
But so they have their little air battle. And of course, Cage and Breaker win. He does this up and over vertical twist. Want me to get vertical. Let's give it a little twist. And Tommy, Tommy Jones like it does break his target lock earlier in the fucking fight. Where was he? I had rights.
01:12:21
Speaker
Yeah, but then he totally Jones hides out. and He's like, he'd be coming right through this canyon. And Nicholas Cage pops up right behind him. You it's been a minute since I watched the first top gun. I watched it right before Maverick came out. But I want to say this is also just beat for beat that fight because it's um I think Tom Cruise has Michael Ironside Ironside. Well, he gets Michael Ironside earlier on. So then in the second one is to fire points. What is Michael Ironsides call sign. I think I know it. I could be wrong. Joker. Is it Joker? Joker. Joker. Because I always thought that was funny because I don't think I've ever seen Michael Ironsides smile. but When he does, it's not good. When he laughs, it's just that, ah whether you think you're going to get skinned.
01:13:13
Speaker
Why is he smiling? am i Am I close to death? Why is Michael Ironside smiling at
DEA-Army Task Force and Military Humor
01:13:19
Speaker
me? I don't like this. Well, I have five points for whatever competition we're doing. good and I mean, i nobody proved me that I was right or wrong and I could be wrong, but I'm 93% sure it's Joker.
01:13:31
Speaker
Yeah, because I was. Damn it. Oh, it is Jester. Oh, well, you lost her. Nope. Got him back. I'll take two and a half. Two and a half. Two and a half. That's still two and a half more than you guys have. It's true. It's true. It's my game. So you get two and a half. Whitney gets a star and I get circle. Who gets a banana sticker? I have a banana scratch and drink. It's a scratch and drink banana sticker. I'm trying to tell you one thing about that is you're scratching.
01:14:00
Speaker
That's right. I've said too many times. Well, so they get back from their training mission and have to go out immediately because all the cartel guys are in the same location, which is a really good idea. And all right, everyone to four eggs in one basket. All of the. a So it's a it's a joint D.A. Army task force, something, something. And it's like a dancer. What do you call it? Oh, what's the fucking word I used to hate, Quintilla?
01:14:31
Speaker
Ah, cotillion. Cotillion. It's a DEA army cotillion. ah
01:14:39
Speaker
Let's not invite the Air Force. We don't want them here. So they get sent out right after the exercise for operation. Wait for it. Firebird. Oh, not Firebirds. He didn't quite say it. That's what Derek said. But yeah, yeah I'm counting it. And this is where Nick Cage gets all fucking Manny and is like, what do you mean you're going with us? You can't be in danger.
01:15:06
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I just don't want you to get hurt. It's an annoying scene because I just I don't like the behavior, but it does lead to another great ah split second moment when she's like, well, fuck you. I'm doing it anyway and walks off in the background. Nick Cage not only kicks the air, he almost does like a Lou Kang bicycle kick both legs in the air like I laughed out loud because I got a little kid walking away like, oh,
01:15:37
Speaker
it's so it stupid but Before that though we get a Tommy Lee Jones I had to write this like I got the end of the line, but he says something full full tip for freedom and justice Believe for freedom and justice. Sign me up. I don't know who we're going to war with but I'm fucking going talk Posters The Colonel comes down and he's like, hey, so I talked it over with everybody and you're right, you are now the lead, you're going on this mission. Flight leader, yeah. Flight leader, yeah. And he's like- Yeah, on the corner without a side of you are going to take all my herbs and spices and pepper the enemy. When I say herbs and spices, I mean rockets and bullets. Hope that is clear. Yes, it is sir. Did you choke on any herbs and spices there?
01:16:29
Speaker
Nope, just air. Oh, that is a tough one. You're going to need that. You might want to get better breathing. So he he can see. Oh, let's see how we handle drinking. I've been practicing for 40 years and I'm not good at it yet drinking.
01:16:49
Speaker
no breathing thought nine 39 years, whatever. It's not for everybody. Nothing. One. One.
Helicopter Battles and Realism
01:17:02
Speaker
Good thing that we're starting a new endavver endeavor. Endeavor? Endeavor? Yeah. We're starting new in Denver. We're starting a new Endeavor! First effort for this, by the way.
01:17:13
Speaker
Oh, yeah, Jack, I didn't tell you we're all moving to Denver. All of us work at the Arizona beer house. No, but all three of us are going to have to share a studio to afford it. And don't mean a recording studio. it Well, I will also do that. Man, you guys house is weird. You have what? Two beds and a table with like that, dude, I'm just hanging a fucking microphone from my bed so I can just lay down.
01:17:44
Speaker
It's like the lazy man's Michael buffer. Well, let's get ready. to podcast We both did it. Yeah. So they have to go to the Katamarka desert, which is, I read on IMDB trivia. So who knows what these people know, but apparently it's in Argentina exclusively kind of like how the s Sonoran desert is almost all in Arizona. and Okay. Yeah. So we know they're in Argentina, although they don't say it.
01:18:14
Speaker
um There's some stuff getting ready. And while um Nick Cage and Tommy Jones are having like a heartfelt discussion about the mission and freedom and whatever. The explosions start going off, they're under attack by people who have never aimed in their life. apparently Yeah, well, that's they don't have that canopy stuff going on. Like you can't you know, something's there. You just don't know exactly where. Yeah. But like, but they don't even hit the helicopters, which are uncovered.
01:18:41
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing. I'm like, they're it looks like they're aiming at the people. And I'm like, I get what you're going for. But like, take out the helicopters, not the people. I feel like if this was a real ah ah aerial, so it would have wiped them out. Oh, yeah. I mean, it does pretty much people, not the helicopters, because then they could have taken over the helicopters. Yeah, then you gotta learn how to fly an Apache.
01:19:06
Speaker
so ah buzz gets taken out pretty quickly who's guthro's partner if no gone ah because this leaves guthrie alone to be the savior of somebody we assumed it was going to be k nickt cage yeah is tommy lee jones she also is there to be a little bit of a damsel a damsel distress Yeah. Well, actually, I mean, no, like she's got the she does get in trouble, but she is the one who solves everything. Yeah. But Nick does come and save her. Well, he comes and picks her up. He doesn't say no he's like she's on the headset. She's on the headset and she's like, please come save me when she's running away from the helicopter. I was thinking about the crash and all that. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's fine. I'm not complaining about it, but.
01:19:51
Speaker
We have to make sure that Nick Cage gets a hero moment to save the girl. what's can be It's going to be creepy when he's pressed up against her. Yeah, because Stolar's show up and chase her down stoker stolar. He does show up and start chasing her down. um And all of a sudden, these dudes have fucking jets to like Tommy Lee Jones even has a thing he's like, is there a whole goddamn air force down here? um But yeah, they've got two at least two of these jets. ah So Tommy Jones and Detective LaRusso end up taking out or they get taken out by a jet.
01:20:27
Speaker
You know, they take out one. They take out one of the tickets by Secundus. Yeah, they take out a jet. And then, yeah, Secundus shows up tracking them down and he doesn't kill them. He tries, of course, when he takes up their tail rotor. He doesn't kill him because he's a kind hearted assassin. You know, sometimes he's like, yeah I'm good at my job, but I don't need to do it. He's like, I want an Apache. I can fix the tail. He's like, I'm also 40. I feel bad.
01:20:54
Speaker
Yeah. Me too, brother. I get it, man. One of these cartel guys jog past me the other day backwards. I shot him. I know you're in the army. So you had to be like, oh, hey, good morning. Yeah. No, I fucking shot this dude. I was like, you cannot run me, but you cannot run my bullets. It's a kindness. So Tommy Lee Jones and Detective LaRusso get shot down. We don't see them crash. So we didn't see them shit their pants. So they're probably not. there Hey, no proof. No fucking dead body.
01:21:24
Speaker
um shan young does go down to try to recover them and she gets there like there was no explosions whatever so she lands and goes to check on them la russo is fucking toast yeah he did he's got a bullet through his head his eyeball and i like that she still goes and checks his pulse uh he is alive put a bullet in him yeah i'm like well his brains are on his face so i wouldn't bother checking his pulse but it's just me do you see the brain coming out of his eye throbbing no it's probably fucking dead like i'm looking at his heart and it's not beating
01:22:01
Speaker
um I want to go back real quick to the helicopter fight because there's a real cute moment bit where ah ah Billy's like popping the helicopter just above the, like just the R2-D2 Kenny face. She's playing peek-a-boo and it's fucking so cute dude. She's like Yeah, it's I'm assuming this is a real thing. Tankertow will probably know and he'll let us know. But like, it's a pretty cool concept, like because they were talking about her being the scout chopper. And I was like, well, it's cool and all. But like, if she's not maneuverable and fast the way that the Apache is, then she's just going in to die. Yeah. Yeah. It's that she can hide behind ridges and peek up over because that camera is up above like the Google car driving around. Oh, yeah. It's just as good as the cameras above the rotors. Right. Yeah.
01:22:46
Speaker
Yeah and it's it's also a laser to the point that it can paint a target the Apache can be behind cover launch one of these smart missiles that would go and knock it out. So and I think it it never came to anything which was surprising but it says the laser can actually be used to blind and confuse other helicopters.
01:23:06
Speaker
I'm going to assume that that's a cut scene because they mentioned it. So it feels like it should be in the movie. Yeah. And I mean, did this she got away. These people didn't write a lot of stuff and it's not like the best written movie um in the world. But just bringing that up, though, based on what other stuff they've done in this, it tells me that they should. It was probably in there, but it didn't make the 85 minute version.
01:23:50
Speaker
Yeah, let America know we got good toys. but yeah So back to back to Tommy Lee Jones and dead rice. This is fucking so i I don't know if this is real either. And I would really like to know because Tommy Lee Jones, so his legs are broken. He can't get out. So she's got to try to protect him and this jet finds them. Yeah. He walks her through taking out this thing and putting it together and and like unlatching one. It turns one of the Apache's missiles into like a shoulder mounted missile launcher. I want to say with this missile. Yes. Yeah. dude I actually wondered myself if that's real because it's like you got these munitions.
01:24:29
Speaker
Why can't you? yeah Yeah, it's just like she pulls this thing out and has to. And I mean, it's it's complicated, but like it has to be right. But it's like take the little cigar box thing and plug it into this thing and twist that and turn that and unlatch these. and a But like she that switch, she takes a fucking missile off of a helicopter and turns it into a shoulder mounted missile. And it's fucking insane. I love it. Yeah. And she she does take out that jet. So.
01:24:54
Speaker
Yeah, right up the pooper. but Yeah. Breaker gets hurt during ah so Stoller and Cajun breaker are all having their their little dog fight. I'm assuming it's still called that with helicopters. I would assume so. But the it's really good. Like the the the helicopter action in this is a lot better than I expected it to be.
01:25:16
Speaker
I was having a great time with this. There's a couple of scenes early where it's Tommy Lee Jones just in like a fake cockpit and they're doing like ah a scream behind him i'm like, oh man, this this is gonna be a pooper of a film if it's like this. and Like this kicks in and you just nailed it. Like this is really fucking fun combat.
01:25:34
Speaker
Yeah. And it's it's not. I mean, it's not Top Gun or especially Top Gun Maverick, where you've actually got Tom Cruise in a fucking jet flying around because Nick Cage didn't learn how to fly a fucking Apache. He's not insane. He's an actor. Well, he isn't saying he isn't. He's insane. Well, he's not a Scientologist. Yeah. So at least there's that. But like so it's not them in the helicopters, but just the helicopters just doing these.
01:26:00
Speaker
I mean, they're not going upside down per se, but close and they're when they're going over vertical and turning like it's as close as you can get to being upside down. I mean, I'm assuming if a helicopter goes all the way upside down, it's just pushing itself into the ground. I feel like this this little s scorpion thing could do it.
01:26:17
Speaker
Well, and it does it it gets close. And when they show the shots of Stoller, they make it look like he's basically upside down. But I mean, even when they're vertical and like turning, it's like your cockpit is still basically upside down. It's just that your rotors aren't directly below you. You can't go full 180 degrees. Yeah. But I mean, it's it's it's insane. These things are just flying up and flipping around and diving down like.
01:26:40
Speaker
I have I have a regular time. I have a regular my bar that he flies the with the Blackhawks. He's he's a helicopter guy. um I'll ask him about it. I'll have them. Yeah, like specifically, it would be like the Apaches and then whatever this other one is, because like some of the Blackhawks, I think, are bigger ones. They're there for like carrying people like that. Black Americans in this. The medical one at the end is a Black Hawk.
01:27:03
Speaker
And one of the ones at the very beginning that got blowsed up is a black car. Well, he was in the army and he he was stationed in Idaho. Well, that's for carrying like multiple people, though, like so obviously that wouldn't be able to do those maneuvers. But like, yeah, ask him because I'm interested to know if these ah I mean, I know Apaches are attack helicopters. Yeah. But it's just that I mean, we see them do these maneuvers, but they can fudge it with angles of the camera and stuff. Yeah, which is I mean, they're going like straight down, straight up, like turning and saying that's the way I like to for flo up over where It's very um watch shirt there's a line coming up, but that that's right here that cracks me up because instead of calling him ah breaker, is that his co-pilot's name? calvin he's like Calvin. He's like, dude, only my mom called me Calvin. Oh, I'm your mom now, Calvin. I am your mom, Calvin. But they do get that comes.
01:27:56
Speaker
No, it does the same way that you think it does. I'm your mommy. Now listen to me. Shoot the guns for mommy. Mommy wants to fuck. Thank you for that. Mommy wants to fuck. Mommy wants to fuck.
01:28:17
Speaker
baby good greatest monster of fog But Calvin does get shot when they they get hit with some bullets um and they go right through and take out Calvin. So he he's like, I can't shoot. I'm OK, but I can't shoot because, of course, it has to be down to Nick Cage. And now there's where you have a three pecker goat fucking around.
01:28:35
Speaker
just he' as busy as a three picker go dude and he he's he does outfly this guy and and they did a good job because I mean we haven't watched a lot of stuff with helicopters the only other thing I can think of is nightmare at noon which was not as high octane the helicopter stuff and that was cool but like Rambo three. Oh, yeah. Rambo three. When he plays peekaboo. Yeah. Just kind of what happens here because Nick Cage goes off the edge of this like cliff here and drops down and fucking Svenal Thorson here just overshoots. And he's like, not as good as you thought, motherfucker. And just blows this dude out of the sky.
01:29:15
Speaker
Oops, you blew it. Yeah. Not only does he blow him out of the sky, though, like we don't just get an exploding helicopter. We get the in in cockpit shot of like these bullets tearing through this dude. And there's just a blood fly. it's I mean, it's a split second, but you just see like holes getting ripped in this dude and blood flying everywhere. And then the helicopter explosion. I think it's the first blood filled bada boom we've had on the show.
01:29:38
Speaker
I think also it is true. It also steals from Top Gun, though, because if you remember the end of that movie, he does the same thing. He was like, I'm going to put the put on the bracelet and fly right by me. Well, yeah. And that's what he does here, too. That's what I was saying earlier, like this whole third act is just the end of Top Gun.
01:29:56
Speaker
Yeah, but it's just it's cooler than what I expected to see in this particular movie. I just like it's a good maneuver because it's all done in real time. It's not like they did a bunch of cuts. You see the Apache go over the edge and then like drop down and stop. Then you see this other helicopter fly out over it and it's all in like one shot.
01:30:14
Speaker
So, I mean, it's it's pretty fucking well choreographed.
Conclusion and Themes of Firebirds
01:30:16
Speaker
They did a good job there. Yeah, dude, I was so surprised how much I enjoyed this movie, especially the latter half. Like when they as soon as they get to these Apaches, we're having a great fucking time from here on out. Yeah, we are. Yeah. Remember, what was that one movie where Watcher i was like, oh, my God, this is the most boring helicopter nightmare at noon? I thought about that today. I was like, oh, at least this is a fun, exciting like this is a good helicopter scene. Well, yeah, shots. You know what will cheer you up?
01:30:44
Speaker
joe helicopter maybe a little bit yeah that fucking smile bro I control there for a little bit, but now everything's cool. well Speaking of everything being cool.
01:31:00
Speaker
The fight's over because Stoller's dead. So, and I was like, well, this movie is about to wrap up real fast because it's only 85. I didn't look at the time, but I was like, I know we're about to wrap up. He calls and he's like, can I help with something, something? And they're like, Nope, we arrested everybody. Everything's good. Come on back land. Hey, you're back. Uh, they're going to go pick up your girlfriend and Tommy Lee Jones. Jump on that chopper. Go get them. Movie over. Yeah, the same thing. I was like, oh, he's going then he's gonna go fucking play cleanup. Like we're gonna have one final just like blow up montage of him just laying waste to these poor fucking indigenous people just trying to make a living with drugs. Well, a lot of good people down there. Gotta blow them up. Gotta do it. Run away. army a Off of the natural resources that were provided to them. if If they weren't supposed to do it, why did God make it?
01:31:47
Speaker
and Exactly. Sure. You should do a lot of stuff to turn a coca leaf into cocaine. But I'm just saying it was already there. Let's not start picking apart what is and what isn't. I need to know how somebody just like discovered that. how um I remember learning in school that the native people there would like just chew on coca leaves and get energy. Yeah. so it's love to join and go somebody helps with It helps with altitude sickness.
01:32:14
Speaker
Now along the line, somebody learned about chemical composition and whatnot and how to break it down into the distilled version of what gave people. Yeah. And then you had don't feel active to it. Yeah. Yeah. And then we had to bastardize it.
01:32:32
Speaker
But I mean, that's that's the end of the movie. They have a cute little argument about who's flying the chopper because she drove his car earlier. ah The end. The end. how in and out. Yeah. We'll do recommendations and we'll start with full recommendation, dude. I love this movie. I thought it was awesome. It was a wonderful pacing. Yeah. Nick can get a little rapey, but again, the nineties got to have the rose colored goggles on, right?
01:33:01
Speaker
It's not like rabies, it's just over the top creep. Yeah, like pushy, super pushy. It's like Alanis and Jean-Claude Van Damme is what I dance for. Yeah, I just I loved it. I really very much enjoyed this. And if you if you're like me and you love to use some cage, you can use some cage in this bitch. And then the happy be Tommy Lee Jones surprise.
01:33:23
Speaker
Yeah. That's a surprise to you. only Not a surprise to anybody who just listened to this podcast. Oh, did we mention that we get some Tommy Lee thighs? Oh yeah. I just want to throw that in there. Some Tommy Lee thighs. He's wearing shorts that are so short that I thought he was going to start hanging brain at one point. Yeah. I could see both his haircuts. I was very happy. So Jack, recommendations?
01:33:47
Speaker
Full recommend, full send. Even if you even if the the beginning part was boring enough to not like, which it wasn't, it was just boring for what this is. It's such an in and out movie and just the helicopter stunts and the helicopter pranks at the end are so fucking fun. A little peek a do peek a boo. And yeah, Tommy Jones and all that and everything else you said, it's just so it's too quick to be mad at. It doesn't need Jack's caveats, but that just makes it better. Like I was sober and I just had husband with me the whole time.
01:34:16
Speaker
Yeah, just me. Yeah. he was um ah I definitely don't need the caveats, but this would have been fun because of all the little Cajuns that we get here would have been fun to be with people that just this will this will be on a fucking repeat for us. It takes it from a 10 to an 11. If you have your friends and buddies with you. Yeah, this movie goes to 11.
01:34:36
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, so going into this for me, I thought I was going to give it like a soft recommend because I almost recommend every cage movie in some capacity because I remember the the half watch that we gave it while we were drinking heavily. And I just remember thinking, like, this is pretty fucking boring.
01:34:55
Speaker
And it started out and I was like, yep, pretty fucking boring. But you pretty quickly get into it not being super boring. I mean, it's ah it's the it's the pacing. Not a lot happens in the first half of the movie or the first two thirds of the movie. But the first two thirds of the movie is less than an hour. Yeah. So you can get through it. And that last scene alone is worth it. But I think I liked it. I'm going to give it a full recommend at this point. Yeah.
01:35:20
Speaker
I just, you know, I like Nick Cage more than I like Tom Cruise. I would recommend Top Gun before I would recommend Firebirds. However, I do recommend Firebirds. Also, you know, Top top Gun has logins. This has Phil Collins. Also- Top Gun has Anthony Edwards. Also not selling point. Yes, it is. are You know what we didn't get in Top Gun? Whoo!
01:35:50
Speaker
I've never seen- Tom Cruise is just like, I'm not wearing panties on my head. I know what touches those. I just watch Eyes Wide Shut for the first time in like 20 plus years. Still doesn't have panties on his head. And if any- That's the time to do it. Any movie Tom Cruise was in, that or Risky Business? Well, because it covers his face in, that's his money maker.
01:36:10
Speaker
Yeah, height. Oh, boom. So next week we will be continuing Made in Arizona month with our first installment of what's taking place of DERKA classic movies because my co-hosts hate watching classic cinema. So we're replacing DERKA classic movies with Schlock and Load.
Preview of the Next Episode
01:36:31
Speaker
bites So our first episode will be Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren in Universal Soldier. We're going have silk underwear on his head. I think filmed entirely in Arizona outside of maybe some soundstage stuff. Sweet. But it was just what we just we just watched it two years ago. We didn't record it, huh? No, we did not. record I was saying like we just watched it. Yeah, yeah, we watched it, but it was filmed
01:37:03
Speaker
Near it was in northern Arizona. I want to say it was near a city in Arizona that's called Baghdad. If you don't believe me, look it up, look it up. I'm not doing that. I feel like that's how I got on a watch list. Baghdad without an H bag dad, and which is actually worse. Yeah, that's just the that's the guy at the supermarket that takes all the fucking bags in and one trip on Baghdad. I got this i've one trip. I've got them all on my arms. Sure. i' four hundred and look at the marks of my arm that's gonna be there forever kids i'ma tell you right now moms did it before my dad's oh for sure but dad's the one who needed the credit for it because they were also doing that plus carrying a car seat yeah and this dad's like sure i lost a pinky from losing circulation but i got all the bags in one trip yeah was it worth it you tell me
01:37:53
Speaker
$640 worth of groceries in 1984. So that's a lot of groceries. dicking That's when you just get the roomstick right now. I'm pretty sure that's just macaroni and cheese and eggs, but a couple pounds of raw potatoes. Don't forget to check out our patreon at patreon dot.com slash worst people. It's only $3 a month. You get a bonus mental health episode every month.
01:38:19
Speaker
You get dope content. Like you get our latch key vids, latch key vids, which besides cop rock, we're doing, we have a couple other plans that just sound bonkers. Yes. Yeah. This month's episode of latch key vids will be the third episode of cop rock entitled. Happy mother's day. Oh, happy mother's day. I mean, my mother. Hello mother. Hello father. It just started to get a cop. cronada And our mental health episode for the month will be a listener request episode from Tanker Tom, who has been mentioned on this episode because military, uh, he requested Harley Davidson and the Marlboro man. And do you see how easy it is to get your way when you're a Patrion? Yeah. Fucking the ass about a movie. You get it. Yeah. Here we are.
01:39:09
Speaker
You got voted over me. Take your time. I suggested something else. I had the smoky stuff in my lungs. Here we are, guys. I went to George Lucas. Thank you. I'm moving right along.
01:39:24
Speaker
But of course we have to thank Evasion for opening and closing music. So thank you guys. And don't forget, send us an email at badmoviesworsepeopleatgmail.com. Send us requests, send us complaints, send us praise. I have a fragile ego, send us pick so I'd be better with praise, but I'll take complaints. I got no problem with criticism. Bring it on. I went to Catholic school.
01:39:49
Speaker
I'm married to that guy. I get criticism. That's it for this week. I've been Derek. I'm married to him. And I'm a first class all American. I am the greatest.
01:40:36
Speaker
I'll tell you what, soldier, you put that bottle up your butt and you do a handstand right now. This is America's, this is America's boofing. Talking about full tail blow the American boofing.