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Ep 129: Universal Soldier
25 Plays56 minutes ago
For this week's Made in Arizona episode, we're diving into Roland Emmrich's UNIVERSAL SOLDIER, starring Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren! This also kicks off our new monthly segment SHLOCK & LOAD, where we'll be getting into the nitty gritty of 80s and 90s shlock action cinema. A secret group within the US government is taking dead troops and bringing them back with cybernetic enhancements to take on the toughest missions, but this time, they brought back the wrong soldier in Lundgren! Van Damme has to save journalist Veronica Roberts from the nefarious group before time runs out!
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Transcript
Introduction to the Hosts and Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back. It's Made in Arizona month, and this is our first episode kind of of schlock and lo. And this week, are we having fun yet? I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. This is Bad Movies, Worst People.
00:00:42
Speaker
I was swallowing. I know. That's why I waited to. I was like, oh, she's going to look like a fool. He he he usually goes longer. Any comments? So she said, yes, she did. I was allow you i I was drinking. I had no time to ever react. This is the problem when you have three thirsty people. It's makes it's hard to fucking banter. There's nothing to do with being alcoholic. It's because I'm very thirsty. I just like liquid in my mouth.
Introducing Universal Soldier and Director Roland Emmerich
00:01:05
Speaker
So we know you all know the name of the movie we're doing because you clicked on this episode. But what's the name of this movie? This movie is Universal Soldier from 1992, directed by one Roland Emmerich. Welcome back to the show. Oh, shit. um Is this the least blowy up of landmarks that Roland Emmerich does?
00:01:23
Speaker
I don't think we get a landmark blowed. Not a landmark ah a gas station, a gas station. I mean, technically, he kind of blows up the Grand Canyon. Yeah. OK. Pretty kind of a big landmark. Not going to lie. Can't miss it. Yeah. ah But yes, welcome back to the show because we previously discussed his movie Godzilla from 1998. And well we we'll be seeing him again. Oh, yeah.
00:01:48
Speaker
I mean, this guy, we've mentioned it before, but Stargate, Independence Day, The Patriot, 10,000 B.C., 2012, Independence Day, Resurgence. Didn't you say Independence Day twice? Yeah, Independence Day because it comes back. Resurged. I think I've only seen one of those movies.
00:02:05
Speaker
Now, you've seen at least two. You've seen Stargate, right? Because we watched Kurt Russell. You've seen Independence Day and Independence Day resurgence. I did not see it. We went and saw it in theaters. No, we did not. Yes, we did. Blocked it from my memory. Didn't happen. You'd be better off. It never happened. I saw it. I saw it once. I hated it. Well, that's my power now. You've probably seen The Patriot with Mellie Gibbs. American Revolution movie. Mell Gibson. Oh, also in this movie. Yeah, just like I've seen Brave. Leon.
00:02:37
Speaker
Let's get Rini. It's the doctor. And oh, uh, the doctor that did the stuff. Yeah. Or the guy on the but baby, the guy on the bus, the guy on the truck. Yes. He's also in the. Rippey. Leon Rippey. Yes. Leon Rippey. Yeah. I was looking for his name. I couldn't remember. I have it. It's in my head. Oh, real quick.
Availability and Personal Collections
00:02:55
Speaker
For those who would like to watch this before we go any further.
00:02:58
Speaker
right now it's available on paramount plus and it's on amazon for four dollars to rent and currently on sale at least currently for eight dollars to buy easy eight dollars by the way and i think just watch said it was like eleven dollars so even then Yeah. Yeah. No, I spent the eight. There's not a chance I'm not going to want to rewatch this. Whether I recommend it to other people or not, I can at least make a music video out of this. Fair enough. I already own this on Blu-ray, but I'm still in the midst of moving all my stuff around. So it's in the bottom of a box full of Blu-rays. So we had to stream it. Do you have like some special? No, no. Okay. Just a Blu-ray that I figured you probably would have busted it out if it was like you would have found it. We're going full Arizona month. It's all filmed in Arizona, and I bought it at Bookman's, which is an Arizona establishment. So ah institution is written by many men. um Wait,
Discussion on Richard Rothstein and Christopher Leach
00:03:51
Speaker
like small? like No, many, not many many, not many. We have Richard Rothstein and Christopher Leach, Litch, who look like they do stuff together in Hollywood, probably pronounce Leach.
00:04:03
Speaker
They both wrote on a show called The Hitchhiker. Richard Rothstein also wrote the Bates Motel TV movie from 1987. So good for him. Good for him. Christopher Lynch didn't write much else. He wrote a movie called The Hitter I'd Never Heard Of, but he's directed some stuff. He directed Teen Wolf 2.
00:04:24
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Bateman. ah He directed. Oh, this is the movie I was telling you. I i have a movie we should watch. It's going to be awful. Not for the podcast, just to torture ourselves. It's called She Fought Alone. And it stars. It's a TV movie, of course, starring Brian Austin Green and Tiffany Amber. she so Well, we might have to record it.
00:04:46
Speaker
I mean, maybe let watch it first. Yeah. And then the I think the main writer, I think those guys were like, I'll be on that episode, but I won't watch it. I can so well we're just it. Look, something, something, something like domestic abuse. I'm sure I can make plenty of jokes about domestic abuse. Fair enough. And I think the main writer, I think those guys were like punch up men.
00:05:08
Speaker
Or maybe they were the original idea. That's what you called abusive husbands. Yeah, that's Brian Austin Green. Presumably he's a punch. Now he's probably the good guy. He has to be with those eyes. ah The main writer or the other writer is Dean Devlin, who who I know that name. Yeah, he wrote this Stargate Independence Day Godzilla 1998. So he likes working with a certain director. Yeah. And he also wrote and directed Geostorm, which I have never seen.
00:05:34
Speaker
um But we saw that trailer a thousand times because that was coming out when we were going to the theater every week. Yes. And I always laughed every time because the movie is called Geostorm. And at the end of the trailer, he's driving away in this little tiny, tiny compact car. And I was like, he's called that because he has to get away in his geostorm. So you're familiar, I think, with how did this get made? They knew somebody that worked on that and they talked about it like,
00:05:59
Speaker
Yeah, no one realized that the GEO storm was a car. It's like a quick Google could have fixed this. Yeah, because I know that that's the only car I know by GEO. I don't know if they did anything else. And he's he's driving away. It's not a GEO storm he's in, but whatever that itty bitty car is, I was always like, GEO storm. Yeah, why make another car once you make something as fine as the storm? So we'll play the money game.
00:06:24
Speaker
So this movie costs twenty three million dollars to make twenty three. And real quick. I don't know if you guys know to 92. We talked about this company last month because I think it was Leviathan. ah Carol Co. OK. Produced a bunch of schlocky action shit. They were counting on this movie to keep them afloat because they were going bankrupt. So they're hoping it made money. Oh boy. So let's play it. We're going to play a double round game domestic and worldwide.
00:06:54
Speaker
So it costs 23 million. 1992 Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren. And Roland Emmerich's name means nothing at this point, because this is his first American feature. Domestic made 10. What? I would say eight. OK. Worldwide. Fifty. Do you want to know the domestic first so you know where the worldwide goes? No. Worldwide's 37.
00:07:14
Speaker
I said 15, 15. You guys are so mean. This movie made thirty six point three million domestic. Wow. And one hundred and two million worldwide. You know what? JCD was a big name in ninety two. Sure. But here's the thing. The company yeah you mentioned I'm not aware of. So I thought they failed. ah They didn't last much longer. OK.
Are They Cyborgs or Zombies?
00:07:36
Speaker
Well, it's because JCD did all the crafts cocaine.
00:07:40
Speaker
He's not a craft service table. It's craft. OK. Yeah, the movie. Can I get a bump here? The movie cost 23 million dollars. 13 million went to the movie. What accent? Yeah, that's my favorite. i'm It's too bad that they went went with like he's Cajun because when he says when she's talking about his accent, and he's like, what accent? I get it. It's because he's like a robot man and doesn't know what's going on. But also I wanted to just be like, what accent? Yeah. And that's just their explanation. I don't know what you're talking about. Move on. I don't hear an accent when I spec.
00:08:12
Speaker
So this was filmed basically entirely in Arizona. There was some pickup stuff done on like soundstages in L.A. OK. But other than that, this is like all northwest Arizona, mostly in Kingman and and then around Kingman Baghdad. yeah It was filmed in Baghdad. ah These are all cities in Arizona for the people listening outside of Arizona. Baghdad, chloride, Sedona, Verde Valley, Cottonwood, Prescott, Ash Fork, Clark and Clarkdale.
00:08:39
Speaker
I have heard of Clarkdale. I never heard of Ash Fork. Ash Fork. I only know I had Ashford written down here, but I know it's Ash Fork unless they change that building because in the town where the hotel is, there's a building that says like Ash Fork Auto Parts right behind them. So I like the name. Yeah. Sounds like we're a ah really scary video game is going to take place. Yeah.
00:09:01
Speaker
Silent Hill, baby. Yes, Silent Hill. Welcome to Ash Fork. And part of it part of it was also filmed at the Grand Canyon on the. And I'm going to butcher this name, but I'm going to try the hula la pie reservation. OK, I know. I don't know enough to do better. It's a when at the end with the big car crash. That's where the glass skywalk is now.
00:09:22
Speaker
Oh, okay. yeah For those who don't know, you can walk out on glass over the Grand Canyon. yeah you be like You can be your own Skywalker. This is this is where they blew up some shit in some movies. Oh, yeah. there's Hey, for whatever you feel about this movie, there's some big bada booms. Oh, yeah. There's some little bada booms. so Yeah. There's a lot of blood, too. A lot of bad booms. And there's a guy with multiple ear necklaces. Uh-huh. You've got to get the matching set. Can you hear me now? Verizon is just like, can we do that? You know, we can't do that commercial. Oh, man. That's that's a robot chicken skit waiting to happen, right? Just don't look. Can you hear me now? No, it's the Verizon guy. Can you hear me now? Then go into another place. Can you hear me now? In the next place, he has one ear on his necklace and then the next place he has two.
00:10:10
Speaker
It's a serial killer. Can you hear me now? All right, Jackie. and So this movie is about cyborg soldiers, question mark.
00:10:23
Speaker
I wouldn't say cyborg. I would say enhanced. I mean, mom, maybe. Well, according. Can they see through their eyes when they're not wearing a cam? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they don't have it on the second half of the movie. Him and golf don't. Cyborgs then. The thing just controls them. OK. It's not cyborg because there's no robotics inside of them. Well, then how are they able to see through their eyes? Because they have a camera on. They have that camera thing. They're wearing a camera for the other people to watch. That's what I was saying. Was that camera off when they were able to look through? Oh, no, no, no, no. Were the other people able to see? No, no, no. Sorry, I thought you meant them. I was like, okay.
Filming Locations in Arizona
00:10:57
Speaker
No, no, no. The people in the chairs. Yeah.
00:11:02
Speaker
So baby's dad, um the doctor that we meet at the end of the movie, explains it. They were. The fuck is baby's dad? ah The guy from law and order. Got it. And we'll get to later because I don't remember his daddy. But no, that's so I was like, Steve, Bocco. Nope, that's cop rock. ah But he says we discovered um that if you put tissue, if it's if you had Jerry or Bach. Yeah. OK. Yeah.
00:11:28
Speaker
Yeah, I understand that. I just didn't know if they had cybernetic enhancements. They got. I don't think so. They got steroid and they got little muscle milk. I have one of the IMDB trivia things, which isn't really trivia. It's just an opinion. But it was funny um was trivia. I liked this movie. Often these are referred to as cyborgs. But because they were dead before they were enhanced, they're actually just zombies. Oh, see, there we go. True.
00:11:55
Speaker
Were they dead? Like, are they truly dead? Because there's a big difference. Oh, they were dead dead and i yeah and truly dead. That was ah that was a crystal. Go fucking put a little bellow in their mouth, squeeze some air in and push on their stomach to play. Well, they also another IMDB trivia thing was like.
00:12:14
Speaker
Uh, basically they died. They die in Vietnam. Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme. And then the soldiers, the army comes in the morning to clean up the mess. They're like, presumably this has been hours. Brain death would have occurred. Yeah, they said 10 hours. Well, at least the next morning. like Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:33
Speaker
So our main, our three main universal soldiers are supposed to be American soldiers in Vietnam. Uh-huh. We have Jean-Claude Van Damme, who's Belgian. Yep. Luke. We have Dolph Lundgren, who is a Swede. Scott. Oh, yeah. And then the other main-ish one, the one who makes it to the end-ish, most of the way to the end. Eating the raw steak. is Ralph Mohler, who is German, Mueller, Mueller, whatever, Mueller, Mueller. Ralph Mueller, stay up. That's what this movie could have been called. I want to get the table and this fucking sausage king of Chicago. ah Derek, to tell me that we had a Norse baby up in here, Chuckie, Norris. Oh, yeah, I've got some of the other soldiers in here. Yeah. Is he the shorter soldier?
00:13:21
Speaker
He blon he's blondish when they go into the hotel. There's ah an Asian one. Yes. White one. He's the white one. He's the shorter one. Gotcha. Norris. I want to say and the Asian one is also a guy that you may or may not know because he's been in a bunch of movies. He's a stunt man. OK. He's a martial arts like master seventh level something something. Uh huh. But he's also the brother of.
00:13:43
Speaker
Philip Rea, his name is Simon Rea. Philip Rea, you probably don't know, but if you've ever watched Best of the Best. Oh, yes, I have. I know exactly who he is now. Philip Rea is in all four of those. Yeah. He's the main guy in there. That's not Eric Roberts. I'm scared, man. ah But
Box Office Performance and Financial Issues
00:13:58
Speaker
Simon Rea also showed up in Spawn Blade, showdown in Little Tokyo. Sure. All as like characters, not just a stuntman, but still like stuntman characters. Mm hmm.
00:14:08
Speaker
but Yeah. so And then, of course, we've got Tiny Zeus Lister running around here. Oh, yeah. Who's this Lister? Tiny Zeus Deebo. Oh, that's right. I forgot his name was Tiny. Yeah. Rest in pictures. Yeah. Rest in pictures. His name was actually I think a little bit ago, like years. Yeah, it's been a while. He's credited as Tom Lister because that's his real name. People hadn't started calling him Tiny yet. He probably got that on Friday. Wait till you get to the episode of Renegade with him. He is acting circles around Lorenzo Lomas.
00:14:34
Speaker
Well, he's alive, right? Yeah. So. Yeah. There you go. At that point. I don't think he has one line in this movie. No, no, he does not. None of the soldiers do. Do you count grunting? No. Then he has no lines. None of the soldiers have lines. Unlike John, John Clough and Dan, who had plenty of lines.
00:14:50
Speaker
They weren't speaking. And all the lines. Van Dam has, I mean, Dolph Lundgren has the most lines. Yes. In this movie. Van Dam has the second most. This might be. And then Ralph Mueller has one line, which is one, two, three, right before he blows himself up. Well, it sounds like he has three lines, Derek. Well, that's all one line, though. Oh. There's no interruptions. Not according to me. They're all separate lines. I get paid by the line. ah There is... a black officer when they're coming to collect the bodies. And I bring him up because he looked familiar. He's in a movie called The Program. But it also made me think of something we're going to have to do for latch key vids one season called The Mantis. Oh, i have tea I look I was thinking about that one. That might be a pick and choose episode thing because it's twenty two. I think it was two seasons because it's forty four. I'm DB has one season listed twenty two episodes. But maybe it's because you can't find the other one. Oh, maybe. I don't know. I saw I thought I
00:15:44
Speaker
as I looked it up somewhat recently and I remember seeing 44 episodes but maybe if it's 44 that's a pick and choose but either way yeah even 22 that's an awful lot one more side thing the weekend this movie opened there may be a reason it didn't do insanely well in America but it did it made 10 million dollars opening weekend oh that's where I got 10 from um It opened up like in second place behind a league of their own, which was not in its first. That was not in its first week. I don't believe it was. Yeah, it was in its second week. Yeah. But so that didn't help. It also opened up against Cool World. I want you to guess which one made more opening weekend. Was it Universal Soldier or Cool World? Universal Soldier. Yes. By almost double. Yeah. Cool World made five point five million opening weekend. And I didn't look it up, but I'm going to say that was also total gross.
00:16:35
Speaker
Just guessing. But so, yes, we start in Vietnam, which is also shot in Arizona. It's a very similar ecosystem. No, this is a golf course in Kingman. They brought in some fake foliage and shit, but this is magic carpet golf. Yeah, you can tell by the giant tiki head in the background and the monkey is the most. They're trying to fill a serious scene. It's just like some clown.
00:17:01
Speaker
you going to dielarson grizzly adams did have a beard Well, we start out the first line we get is Jean-Claude Van Damme talking to this. He's like, where's the Sarge? What happened? He's like, he's fucking dead, man. The whole platoon's dead. Doing his best. in a san hobby Yeah, dude. And he's out like, yep, of this movie because he's like, I'm leaving. Kabloom.
00:17:23
Speaker
I have JCVD playing Luke Devereaux going to Andrew Dolph Lundgren who's playing Sergeant error. Yeah, Sergeant Andrew Scott. Yeah. Oh, Andrew Scott here. I am American. I am definitely an American named Andrew Scott. He's doing better than fucking Cumber snatch. What's his name? Benedict Cumberbatch. Like he's better. He's doing better than him.
00:17:46
Speaker
It's just, I know what Dolph sounds like, and especially like later on in the Expendables movie, he's just so, like, uh, still alone, but that can speak. And in this, he's like, I'm going to get you. Here I come, tickle, tickle. But it does lead to some really fun deliveries. ah she great it's good Hello there, Luke Devereaux, I'm going to get you, tickle, tickle. Don't break the pickle. His should his body shouldn't make that noise. Like when it's him, he's like, all right, soldier,
Vietnam Scene with Van Damme and Lundgren
00:18:21
Speaker
let's follow orders. I'm all ears. Ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha. It's funny. He listened to John Wayne and he's like, that's what I got to be. All right. Bill German built robot trying to take over America. That's what it is. you' Like Swedish. Thank you. I know. But the German sort of swiveling is German built.
00:18:42
Speaker
I got you, man. They fucking got you. I would rather him be like I'm all ears. Look, she's listening. Can you tell? This is a punny joke about ears. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. Toots food. Keparka, Morgan. These are ears. These ears. ah Why are you oddly fantastic? sweet um Because of Ren and Stimpy. Oh, that's a great. I am only you are s spin.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, don't whiz on the electric fence episode. But he's basically Dolph Lundgren has snapped. He's like, they're all they're all traitors. They're all against us, even though they had already cleared this village and there were no Vietcong. He's killed everybody. He shoots this dude. He blows up this lady with a grenade. And this one, we see the first of his ears, by the way. like Oh, he had actually selling together. Yeah. The ear necklace. Yeah.
00:19:39
Speaker
ah So they're both dead. And then they've these two just fucking start firing at each other at the same time. And just what other movie did this happen in? Something I saw somewhat recently where they're just firing at each other and it's just squib, squib, squib, squib on both bodies as they're flying back. but It sounds like Invasion USA.
00:19:57
Speaker
Possibly. Maybe I'm thinking that because there's a lot of blood and screams in that. No, because there's no way Chuck Norris got shot in that moment. Oh, that's true. Maybe. Hold on. Maybe he was in between two bad guys. He's like, go ahead, shoot me. And it jumps straight up in the air. Oh. And they light each other up. No, I hope the other guy didn't get shot. I was thinking, I was like, oh, was it cloak and dagger? Because the kid tricks the suit. But I think the one guy just shoots the other guy. They don't shoot each other. Either way, there is a fun little thing just that he is it. Treat Williams dead heat.
00:20:26
Speaker
Oh, possibly. There is there is a point where it's him and the other zombie guy, right? Yeah. Just unloading into each other. Yeah, that might be what I'm thinking of, which was not recently, but it's it's so fresh in my mind. It is a great scene. But I want to tell ah a quick side story of someone else's.
00:20:43
Speaker
So there's ah another podcast, these people I would like to I'm trying I'm going to try to organize getting someone on here or vice versa. OK. But they do a thing called Give Me Back My Action Movies slash Give Me Back My Horror Movies. And two, they have like an alternating thing. Yeah. And the one guy who's the action movie guy is talking about his dad introducing Chuck Norris movies and all this stuff. And he on their blood sport episode, he talked about how his dad didn't like Jean-Claude Van Damme.
00:21:07
Speaker
And he's like, and i'm I'm sitting there going, that doesn't make any sense. He's not American. No, because his dad is like, no, he sucks because he just gets his ass kicked the whole movie. And then he comes back and kicks their asses. He is. He wants Chuck Norris. He wants Arnold. He wants Sly. But that is a really valid point for almost every one of Jean Claude movies. Yeah, it's to rise above.
00:21:27
Speaker
Yeah, but it's like he's it's just so lazy instead of no, he's good. He's good. Then this happens and he's bad. Like it's just he's going to get his butt kicked and then we'll figure out McGuffin to make him not get his ass kicked. Yeah. He just has to inject stuff into his heart. Makes sense. Yeah. Muscle milk, dude. Straight to the titty.
Hostage Situation at Hoover Dam
00:21:44
Speaker
So they get cleaned up. This this colonel or whoever is like pack him on ice. Code zebra. Yeah. Whatever that means. he He just says all the safe words. It's like everything's they're all on my.
00:21:56
Speaker
That's my new safe word, coy code zebra. Code zebra. That's something you're not going to say very often. say you're I say that accidentally. I say apricot all the time. I was just going to say mine is apricot. My safe word is don't stop. It throws them off every time.
00:22:13
Speaker
If you keep screaming, stop. That means keep going. Oh, you say don't stop. Better stop. You better stop. Can't stop. Won't stop. So we're at the Hoover Dam. There's a hostage situation. Some terrorists are doing something. Who cares? Something, something hostage, something, something ransom comrades across the nation to be released. It's basically The Rock, but without all the good actors. Uh huh. Any of them.
00:22:42
Speaker
And they're not in an island. They're by a cavern. Well, they're on Hoover Dam. Yeah. Yeah. And this is so they obviously shot at Hoover Dam. I think the interiors here are the stuff that was shot in L.A. That tracks. Yeah.
00:22:57
Speaker
So we have Colonel Perry, who's played by Ed O. Ross, Mrs. White and this guy you may or may not know. um He was in Full Metal Jacket. He plays Lieutenant Touchdown. He's the one that's leading them in the last second half of the movie. Yeah. He's the leader of the platoon that's got the guy on the phone with him all the time. Uh huh. Or the radio. It looks like a phone. It's a phone.
00:23:20
Speaker
There are phones. He'll also be back, though, because he's in Action Jackson Red Heat. ooh And apparently he was in another midnight run and midnight run around. um What is that? Two sequels to Midnight Run that came out in the same year together.
00:23:36
Speaker
So I'm sure they're good. They have to be. There's Dexy in the Midnight Runners. ah And then there's this FBI agent who has nothing to do, but I want to point him out because he's head got it in Seinfeld or Scrubs. Oh, it's right. He's got a bean is bonnet. Buzz buzz buzz. Ned Bellamy. OK, Dr. Green on Scrubs. Yeah, he's a surgical. What are the boss ones called?
00:24:03
Speaker
Yeah, resident, not resident. The other one attending attending a in Seinfeld. He's a slit. He could be universal soldier. He's wearing a sleeveless military fatigue vest. OK. Who who is this? The bald guy at the beginning, he's an FBI agent. and He's out of this movie i only because he's in. He's only in the very first scene. I just noticed him because scrubs. And we also meet Veronica Roberts, played by Ali Walker.
00:24:31
Speaker
I love this girl. She's a cop in s SOA. That's the only thing I really knew her from. I think she's family. She's and also the kid's mom in Kazam. So you should know her from that. I didn't see that.
00:24:45
Speaker
Not Shazam. I know, I know. The Shaq movie. but The one that actually exists yeah in this universe. um I knew her from SOA, but also it feels like it's an NBC show. Ali Walker this week. They had Ali McBeal. Well, because it's just a chick who does back Ali crimes. She was the star of a network television show called The Profiler.
00:25:07
Speaker
she a star does she have a different hat on all the time oh my god no that's fucking hat the hat that alley's wearing what does she have jurassic park She's got this little fedora thingy going on. It's not at the door. It's more like a what is the Jurassic Park hat? Jurassic Park. So like you're talking about safari. Yeah, it's like it's not Whitney Derek's talking about safari hat. Yeah, and it's talking about like a blossom hat. No.
00:25:32
Speaker
kind of bucket. It's not a bucket hat. It's more like the bucket hat, but it's not brim. It looks like a fedora without having the pinch top like a derby. Well, a bowler, but it's not like a it doesn't fit her head either. Like those are hu hard. It doesn't matter. I didn't pay enough attention to this movie to recognize. It just looks dumb. But she has it on while she's driving up here. She's a reporter. She's driving up to report on the hostage situation. They send in the soldiers.
00:26:01
Speaker
with great success. I mean, everyone, these SWAT guys watching like they just covered five miles. Yeah. Like they're running down the fucking Hoover Dam all dope as shit. Yeah. Was that five miles and under four minutes? Yeah, they're eight seconds behind. Yeah. Everyone's like, dude, it's impressive. Eight seconds behind bunch of pussies.
00:26:18
Speaker
And Dolph Lundgren is already showing that, you know, he's enjoying this. So one of the the the medic guy who I don't know. Well, it looks like he's enjoying it. Yeah, exactly. Don't be ridiculous. I just watched him waffle waffle stomp that guy's brains down a drain. Yeah. I think the one that's saying don't be ridiculous is Leon Rippey. He's playing Woodward. The Patriot maximum overdrive.
00:26:40
Speaker
uh cuffs yes cuffs with christian slater man i haven't seen that one oh might be worth the watch i own it okay not on blu-ray digital digital okay so we're not gonna actually watch it I can cast your TV right now. It'll be on while we're talking and drinking as we at your house. All right. All right. Behind the curtain. But so I think it's Ralph Miller comes in as this fake maintenance guy. It's hard to tell because there's a couple of it's it's him. It's Mueller.
00:27:11
Speaker
muler um They analyze the situation. The guy with the bomb is in the back. So he walks in. The other two terrorists kill him. Oh, speaking of Jurassic Park, ah the Mexican dude, the like one of the last ones he kills, it's in the very back. He's in. Is it Jurassic Park, too, where Peter Storm air gets eaten by all the little gallimimus?
00:27:36
Speaker
I believe that's two. Yes. So this is the guy that had the headphones on. because That's the one that starts with the little girl getting eaten by them. Right. Yes. Yes. yes That's number two. So that's it's when the group's out there and he's like, I got to go pee. And the guy had his headphones on so I didn't hear him.
00:27:49
Speaker
Oh, yeah, because he's one of the the engine hunters work for engine. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, guys, after this episode, I really kind of want to go out and get a beer. What are you thinking? I mean, OK, look, the thing is, I deal with beer so much in my life. I want something else. i'm I'm fine with beer, but I want like a stiff cocktail or a nice glass of whiskey. You know, the music box is just down the way and you can get an awesome cocktail or they even have like tombstone and other great beers on tab.
00:28:16
Speaker
Music box, where would I find that? Oh, you mean the music box at 6951 East 22nd Street in yeah Tucson, Arizona. Right down there at 22nd and Co. Yeah, they've got a great selection of whiskey, gin, tequila, mezcal, other spirits. Ooh, sometimes they have like putting shots and jello shots. You're putting me on. And depending on the night of the week, we can get karaoke, live music. It's great. Ooh, unhappy hour. on Oh, it's Wednesday. It's unhappy hour.
00:28:40
Speaker
Yeah, I'm in. You guys are selling me. Let's go to the music box lounge right now. Let's go. Hey, guys, I don't want to sound needy here. I'm needy. But we have a Patreon at Patreon dot com. first People.
00:28:58
Speaker
And it only costs $3 a month. $3 a month is nothing. And I know times are hard right now. Real
Comical Motel Scene with Van Damme
00:29:03
Speaker
hard for me. Inflation's up. You can't afford your groceries. Can't eat. But you can't afford $3 a month if you love us. Give us $3. Super love us. Please love us. we're not We're not begging. I'm begging. We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh, boy. I mean, my knees hurt. They've been on the oven for so long. But we do kind of need the money. I need the money, Baden. We need to equip it.
00:29:27
Speaker
We need to do equipment. We need to do remote podcasts for all of you. I wouldn't mind eating. We need to have video. I wouldn't mind eating. ah We need more drinks. Food sounds good. So please check out patreon dot.com slash worst people. Please check us out. You get a bonus episode every month and we're going to have more content coming for you. I'll send you pictures. ah Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Please give me patreon dot.com. I'm being held hostage here. Slash worst people. I don't think all of you out of here. They're going to kill me.
00:29:57
Speaker
Basically, they he pretends to die. The terrorists walk past him. He sits up, shoots this guy. They save everybody. Van Dam has some flashbacks because there's these two people who look almost exactly know exactly like the two people that killed the exact same actor and actress from the Vietnam segment. That's rad. So we're barely trying, folks.
00:30:20
Speaker
And of course, the the news, the media knows about the UNISOL program, but they don't know that they are cyborg zombies, whatever they are. Call it what you want to call it. Super soldiers keeping their identities private. They have families. Yeah, exactly. And Ali Walker is like, hey, Huey, my intrepid sidekick, who's definitely making it past the end of this movie, feel like he's going to make it. I feel like I make it. I've got an idea. He's spunky.
00:30:47
Speaker
So they go to break into the military encampment, which is always a good idea. The just good journalism, if you ask me. Meanwhile, they're questioning Van Dam about why he froze up. What's wrong with him? And he's like talking about how they were innocent. The village was cleared and they're like, I just wipe his memory. He'll be fine. This seems like it's a bad thing, but we can just, we can get rid of it. Yeah. Uh, is it, I don't know if he it's even at some point, Leon rippy starts like, he's like, dude, I don't think this is right. Yada yada. And the Colonel guys like, dude, this is all off the books. Yeah. Like i justt be yeah that's that's anymore yeah that that's a little later, but it doesn't matter. Sure. Yeah. It's.
00:31:23
Speaker
It's just funny how it's like, no, this is all like you will get killed. You don't quit. I black bag you. His whole thing is kind of weird because he's the general or whatever. Colonel is like Colonel. ah What? You think the Pentagon would bankroll this operation, bringing back dead American soldiers? and I'm like, well, you also mentioned that these guys cost a million dollars each. So no, no, no, no. Two hundred and fifty. 250 million each. Somebody bankrolled this. Yeah. Well, but somebody who was in the Pentagon, it's the fucking CIA. Hey, I'll tell you what, Barb, there's a real good program bringing him back some of those Americans. The CIA does not operate on American soil. We all know this. They say it. He's just trying to make sure we don't get raided. Was it? Was it? You guys, the flights are dimming. For what? Oh, J. Edgar. J. Edgar was the FBI ah FBI. Who did CIA?
00:32:10
Speaker
No one knows. i They've just always been there. The Illuminati. Maybe. The Illuminati boys was going to the original. Ronald Reagan. Oh, mommy. Oh, mommy. We're going to depose that country there.
00:32:27
Speaker
But so she takes some pictures. One of the soldiers wakes up because she's using flash. Not a great idea. Although I might wake up if this girl flashed me. She's cute. Oh, she's very cute. She's like a ah her eyes are enormous, by the way. She's like a ah sexy Holly Hunter. Mm hmm. I think well, I mean, Holly Hunter is kind of sexy as long as she's not talking because she sounds an awful lot like Gary Busey. That's why I find her so hot. Watch. Come over here. Take off my panties. Use your teeth.
00:32:58
Speaker
um The fucked up thing is, Gary Busey has said that, too. How do you think I did the impersonation so fast? I have it on fucking speed. Isn't she the mom on The Incredibles? Yeah. Yeah, she is. How old are Nick Nolte? I'm a last a girl. I can stretch. And you know the best thing about being last a girl is save money on teeth.
00:33:20
Speaker
Did you know he never saw The Incredibles? Look at this, but don't. I am thicker than a snicker. I'm not surprised that Derek hasn't seen me. I've seen it now. well i But I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't. Yeah. Because the second one was coming out and I was really excited to see it. And he's like, why? I was like, you need to watch the first one. I think it's great, but it's not like one that I think you're missing out. it's It's fun. Yeah, but he's a nerd. Yeah, but he watches Avengers.
00:33:47
Speaker
and Exactly. Get out of here. Encringers the incredulars. Let's get back to the story. But so she tries. They catch her. She tries to get away. And Dolph Lundgren's mission is to take the film, bring the civilians into the base. Instead, he shoots this dude right in the fucking face. Oh, we didn't mention that they try to get away. And Huey is driving. Where the fuck is he going? I don't know. He immediately drives into this.
00:34:16
Speaker
Trans half ramp and flips this fucking station wagon over and it's like whoops. She's got a great line. shot Do you think we lost him? Nope. I don't think you did. Dolph Lundgren shoots that dude in the fucking head. Yeah, he does because he's he's he is snapping, but he's like you said get the fucking film back. Yeah, I'm getting the film back. Look, I'm doing the mission. A good soldier follows orders. to the teeth. You didn't say don't kill the civilians. You said bring them into the base. You didn't say dead or alive. Look, here's the thing, Dolph here. I thought it'd be easier to take the film off of a dead body instead of trying to get it off in a live person.
00:34:56
Speaker
Thank you for coming to this TED talk. Thank you for coming. Yes. I was going to say my Dolph talk. So Van Dam takes Veronica. They try to get away. They stop him because he's still got his headset in and she's like, what the fuck's your problem?
00:35:12
Speaker
She takes it off because she realizes it's a camera. I'm confused. And she throws it out and they take off. Oh, he's bleeding through a hole in his body. Uh-huh. And she's like, oh, man, we better stop that. And he's like, oh, OK, cool. Cigarette lighter from the car and just cauterizes that shit. She's just like. Also, by the way, can when he gets naked later, that hole is going all the way through. So he cauterized one side. He's still bleeding out of his back. Yeah, it's fine. and They didn't program him smart.
00:35:44
Speaker
oh Do also the smell can can you crack a wind that was my first thought I was like he just shoved that in there And she like didn't notice till she looked down I'm like that you would have been like why does it smell like really bad barbecue in here? Did you burn some Slim Jim? Smells like burning s and oh god. It's your fucking flesh you really think people smell like Slim Jim burning oh No. Well, he's French, so it smells like frog legs. Yeah. Well, he's Belgian. but Well, I mean, probably Cajun. That's not good. at Luke Devereaux is Cajun. Devereaux. Yes. That gumbo was a tragedy. And he's related to chance because is it Devereaux also? Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Luke Devereaux's chance. Devereaux's uncle. Hard target. Yeah. hu ah two Yeah. High five yourself.
00:36:30
Speaker
which means that this version is also related to Uncle Duvet, Wilford fucking Brimley, which is why there was a shotgun in the house.
00:36:41
Speaker
But so they run out of gas and he just pushes this truck, as she says later on, faster than my mother drives. Yeah, we see it go at least to 30. ah And they get to this hotel, the lucky was court, lucky motor court. And as soon as they pulled up, I was like, it's not so lucky. This does not look like I've seen this movie before. I know how this is going. But that's like kind of like the ace, the A1 or a star one hotel. Yeah. Come on. Even if you haven't seen this the star one hotel, it's just a nice way of saying the one star. Even if you haven't seen this movie before, you know where this is going by the Luckyert Motel. Yeah. Well, there's this snotty fucking desk clerk who gets them to overpay for a room. But you know what? Jokes on him.
00:37:29
Speaker
Van Dam is $20 for a security deposit. Yeah, it started with that. It's like, well, that's going to be a co-occupancy. Yeah, it's $50. Oh, actually, it's 10 more. Oh, and a $20 security deposit. And also, you want me to not watch you change? That's going to be extra. Yeah, you want me to not look through my fucking camera that I have in every room. Did you want one-way mirrors or two-way? Did you hear happen to hear what mom is listening to?
00:37:54
Speaker
No, okay the three F's, fantasy, fun and fuck, what was the third one? I don't remember, you said something and I was like, what the fuck is she talking about? Felatio, I don't know, but it was definitely. Pornication. Wait, what? but Moms is watching some porn. I mean, she's pretty excited. I see a naked man later. Well, it's a naked Jean-Claude Van Damme from 1992. Oh, sure. I'm excited now.
00:38:21
Speaker
He's got a nice butt. Yeah. Speaking of naked Van Dam. He go into the room and he's like, Oh, cool. Air conditioning. I've got to cool off because I'm overheating because I'm a robot. Yeah. So he just strips butt ass naked and stands in front of the AC. And I'm like, she'd been there.
00:38:35
Speaker
Yep. Speaking of made in Arizona, I've been to some of these hotels where you get out of the car after being on the road, you're like, my AC was on, I'm still sweating. Yeah, I was going to say, I've been there and I'm not a universal soldier. Have you sat drunk? I'm just a fat guy. Just a big old fat guy from Arizona.
00:38:54
Speaker
But she tries to go out to go make a phone call because the phones aren't working because Dolph Lundgren destroyed the phones. The very first thing you take out is. Well, that's why Van Dam knows something's coming. Every time some every time the soldiers start doing something like later on in the movie, the lights go out. He's like.
00:39:09
Speaker
My Spidey sense is tingling. Get down. Here it comes. It's a coming. So am I in a moment. My Cajun sense is tingling. I can feel it in my red jeans and my rass. My Cajun sparkles. My Cajun sparkles is good. My Popeye's chicken is tingling.
00:39:29
Speaker
But so he follows her out and years are inflicting. He follows her out, but naked. And and I love this god save the hotel clerk guy is like, what the fuck? But then he's like, mom.
00:39:40
Speaker
Come look at this shit. And you're going to want to know if you're going to want to see this is what he says. And I think he means you're going to want to see this craziness. But she's like, you're right. I did want to hear that. Right. I want to see that. Look at that fucking sweet dick. I think this I may have mentioned it before, but I think this whole thing is the reason my mom always watched Van Damm movies because she's like an action movie person.
00:40:04
Speaker
And I'll not only did a good, but it's this might be the only movies movie we don't seem to the splits in that I can think of. Yeah, he's always showing his butt. He's always taking off shirts and pants. Yeah. I mean, what's the one double go see the movie double team with denni hammanman Dennis? Dennis Robin is double team when he's doing the leg training. He's just wearing, like, the shortest of shorts. Okay, and double impact. One of the beginnings of that, it's him in a fucking male leotard, and he's doing the splits, and it shows, like, pretty much his butthole covered in a fine layer of fabric. Oh, Ali Walker's about to get a good look at his butthole. Yeah, good.
00:40:39
Speaker
But there's a funny thing here. Sorry. This is the most amount of sleeveless time in a movie. That's not about basketball. There is so much lack of sleeves. This movie. I kind late i was always under the impression that military uniforms were exclusively sleeves. Yeah. du But if you take off your uniform, just put the flak jacket on. You're good to go. It's a good look. But then even once later, he gets rid of that. He puts on the fucking mechanic shirt. Guess what mechanic shirt came with all sleeves. It's fucking sleeveless in Seattle over here.
00:41:09
Speaker
But like he's like, I need to cool off. Sleep isn't Kingman, maybe. That's how you should live. You probably have an ATV. The AC's not doing enough, so he's like, I need ice. There's a fun story about the ice.
00:41:22
Speaker
um so Most of the ice they required for filming, which is estimated at about eight hundred and eighty pounds for all the different areas. It's Arizona. So they shoot it and they're like, we're going to reuse that. ice Yeah. you You have one take per bag of ice. I don't know when they were filming it. Oh, I'm judging like probably July by lack of sleeves.
00:41:42
Speaker
There's a lot of times Arizona movies, not very wet. Well, a lot of times Arizona movies, are she's fucking wet as fuck. She's run around with the naked pig. She out. I think she's a lesbian, so I don't think she is a character. I don't know, man. I'm straight. OK, I'm straight and I'm. Oh, yeah, I'm straight. And I would look that button in the eye. i You've seen one penis. You want to see them all. Right. So that works. Yes, I don't mean, my penis. And right now I don't want to see him. Well, I'm going to say that's probably how it works. If you like penises, because I've seen at least one set of boobs and um well'll I'll see them all. I know for a fact I've seen more than once. and But I'm saying like you've seen one set of boobs. You've seen one boob. but you You want to see them all. Yeah, I mean, the set.
00:42:26
Speaker
But apparently it was all acquired from a local 7-Eleven. All this ice was. And the manager of the store, store a guy named Joaquim Alvarez, OK, was invited on a tour of the Nugget Ice Company Corporation or Nugget Ice Corporation factory because his sales figures were so high. Well, a shit ass prize. You want to see how the ice is made? No. Can I get like a bonus? No, no. We're going to show you how the come to the ice factory. um Is there a secret to it or do you just freeze water?
00:42:56
Speaker
like <unk>s on to us You've worked in restaurants when you get a newbie that's like a kid and then you're like, yo, go get me some ice mix. Oh, yeah, there's always like find a way to get to the basement. You know what, though, if this was filmed in July, I would take a nice factory tour. Like, oh, my God, I feel i bet it's really hot. Well, and who knows when you go to an ice cream shop, it's really warm inside because all the coolers are putting off the heat valid. But hey he's speaking truth. He got some kind of recognition. And it's just because he happened to work at a 7-Eleven and fucking Baghdad or King. Yeah. But the problem is the people that the couple that own that specific 7-Eleven bought like a brand new house because they're like, dude, our numbers are through the roof.
00:43:33
Speaker
Not realizing it's all gonna crash and it just came to a fucking halt. You don't know what happened after that. Yeah, but they bought a house in 1990. She started selling his body for drugs and she started buying it. It's a fucking weird relationship.
00:43:48
Speaker
My own wife is paying me for sex. Lucky. The money's not going anywhere. I write her a check and it goes right back into the bank. I don't think you know how the economy works. I need to cash this check. There's a $1 service fee. She goes in. I'm going to deposit this. It's your own account. Okay, let me cash it. Can I deposit this cash?
00:44:09
Speaker
So. So. Oh, this is this is Ash Fork, because this is where I see this. I wrote it down here because there's a big thing. This is a fireplace tool. Tony Ham with the Ash Fork. Yeah. ah The Universal Soldiers are approaching ah these. That's where we see Simon rehee and Eric Norris. They go in. They just open fire on this fucking hotel. And Van Dam is just running through walls. Dude, he's like a fucking Kool-Aid man. of cocaine Oh, yeah.
00:44:38
Speaker
And these are these actually weren't walls that were constructed for this. This was all improv. yeah this This was not scripted wall running. There was definitely that first wall had like grass on the inside of it. I don't know if you saw that.
00:44:51
Speaker
It was ah shoddy at best, but I just thought that was part of this shitty ass hotel. Probably. Yeah, I was going to say that doesn't have anything to do with it being a set. That's a plant. That's what they're like. They're like, we need new insulation. We've got insulation. This is this is built off the bones of Akatiyo.
00:45:09
Speaker
ah There is this couple that's fornicating and he goes through all the walls, gets to the last one. It's a brick wall. So go through it, buddy. So the soldiers come in looking for him. Yeah, she does tell him, go jump through that wall. And he just looks at her like, what the fuck are you doing? This movie jumped through that wall. This movie is really fucking funny. And it's not like telling you it's supposed to be funny. Right. Like this scene where she's like, jump through that wall. He just looks at her. It's not like a prolonged like.
00:45:36
Speaker
What did you say? kind of Look, it's just more of a like the fuck. Yeah. And they cut away from it. It makes it funnier. It does. But the soldiers come in looking for them. They can't find them. Turns out he's hiding and they're both hiding in bed with this naked couple because this gun just comes up from under the sheets. And it's like, do you have a car?
00:45:56
Speaker
I'm like, if I'm this couple, I stay there until they're gone. They're not gone yet. Maybe a little bit of oral sex from both of you on me and my girlfriend would help just like really convey the situation. They're still not gone. You keep going down on me and I'll let you know when to get up, Jean-Claude. Which one do you want me to do? yeah ah that That would be me, sir. yeah ah I didn't know you were gay. I didn't either.
00:46:17
Speaker
I didn't either. I saw it. I saw it. I looked outside and I saw you walking around naked earlier and thought, I like that. And I came in here and texted my girlfriend. I thought, I like that. This glistening wet man. Like, what a great foursome, you know, because these are two good looking young people. Yeah. All of a sudden, fucking old alley walker. Two good looking people. And naked Van Damme comes in. You're like, whoo. Oh, happy birthday to me.
00:46:43
Speaker
But so they take this guy's car. It's a sweet ass old car. I don't know what it is. Buick, maybe 57. Yeah, it's definitely 57. But I got them big ass fins on it. oh I had gotten this ah conflated with the upcoming gas station scene. ah So I thought they were going to blow up this whole place. But no, he did. It might as well because he drives this car right through the lobby of this fucking hotel. And that old lady is just sitting there while the car drives by like, what? I mean, And it's just Swiss cheese. Anything he didn't drive through who got turned into Swiss cheese. And either his body or by bullets. And we get mom saying a twenty dollar deposit. Yeah. Yeah. This fucking creep is never going to live that down. Oh, no. Well, luckily, the military
Explosive Gas Station Scene
00:47:25
Speaker
is going to kill him before they leave. That's fair. I was going to say, I thought I was like, don't don't say the military is going to pay for this. You're right. God, no. They're going to leave mom alive because she's senile. They're just going to give her a gun and tell everyone else that she did it.
00:47:37
Speaker
Yep. I mean, they're already doing that, right? Yeah. Yeah. Everything is already on Veronica. She doesn't look like a Veronica. No. She goes by Veronica Bond. She goes by Ronnie. Okay. Ronnie works for me. Yeah. Well, yeah, because we see on the news that they're saying that she killed Huey and that there was cocaine and other illicit substances found at the crime scene. So john clo's like oh we have to turn around. I have left my cocaine behind. That's what makes me a universal soldier.
00:48:05
Speaker
soldier Stolger stolger So they're taking off he does have this funny thing if he's like oh buckle up it's for your safety Sorry, I do need to read you just said you said a gunfight. You know me to buckle up So when they're in the hotel before the uni souls come, she does grab all the ice and she has them in the bathtub with all the ice and the the motel guy's like, what is she doing with all the fucking ice, dude? Oh, his penis is too big for me to have sex with. And then she sees that he's healing in the ice. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:48:37
Speaker
Did your scar? Oh, are there your wound? It's like, oh, that's gone. Yeah, because when it when they're healing, they heat up. Mm hmm. So I mean, I know the guy said it's enhanced genetics or whatever the fuck bullshit science term he says. But there's got to be some kind of computer bloop bloop going on because I mean, there would have to be.
00:48:55
Speaker
Why else would you heat up like that? I mean, I guess if your body is working overtime. I mean, it's kind of the plot of that. I know it's a comic book with a Vin Diesel movie blood. Oh, you mean this movie? Yeah, that came out in 2020. Yeah. Yeah. Vin Diesel, universal blood spot blood blood. Not blood sport bloodshot. Bloodshot. Yeah, that's right.
00:49:13
Speaker
I said blood spot because that's just the whole thing is that big spot on his fucking chest is that the talking head song yeah we watched it and it starts with the fucking reservoir reservoir dog scene yeah yeah and the guy even uh vin diesel even says he's like okay reservoir dogs like calm down over there well you can't make you can't make me want to watch that movie I know we were watching it because it was twenty twenty and what the fuck else were we doing? that's Yeah. and And that came on and my first thought was just watch Reservoir Dogs and Diesel's not in it. Yeah. Why am I watching this? Don't remind me that Reservoir Dogs exist when I'm watching your movie.
00:49:51
Speaker
But so it's where we get the what accent scene, which is funny. They get to this last stop gas station. Oh, what accent? I do not know what you're from to. Yeah. I am from Chicago. She's like where she says about where you from or you're from somewhere from the South or whatever. Are you French? Are you German? Are you French? Yeah. And she's like, it would explain the accent. What accent? Oh.
00:50:13
Speaker
Well, so they go to the last stop gas station last stop for 62 miles. And I was like, well, that's not very far. And then I saw the car again. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. this take This is six to eight miles. Eight on a good day, my friend. And this is the desert of Arizona. This is not a good day. This is not a good day. Yeah. Also, you're going to burn through more gas by lugging around the water you need to put in your radiator.
00:50:34
Speaker
And ah yeah this guy foresees the death of his gas station because his line to them when he wakes up, the gas station ten is, hey, lady, no smoking by the pumps. Least to your worries in a minute. We get a fun scene here because he's like drags under the bathroom and he's like, they must be tracking me. And he starts stripping down again. And she's like, not again. Like, can you at least leave your pants? on No. OK. Already off. I'm already comfortable naked. Sorry. And so he's like put he turns his back to her.
00:51:03
Speaker
and then puts her hands around him. and He's like, find something hard. Yeah. and he She's like feeling him down and she gets down. and I'm assuming he gets a boner because he's like, is that supposed to be there? Yeah. She's like, yo, that is correct. Perfectly normal, especially when I'm touching a man. hey why don't you Let me just go feel around for something hard on you.
00:51:23
Speaker
So she she's like, oh, I found something in your leg here. And he's like, OK, cut it out. And she's like, what now? Well, so he's like, OK, I'll do it. Well, if he says cut it first. But then, yeah, he just bends down and looks at her between his legs. And I'm like, this girl is looking directly into his soul right into the eye of the moth. If you look up at the top of the picture, you see a white banana hammock. Oh, really? You see his nutsacking. She pointed that out, and I was like, I would hope he was wearing underwear. Not by choice. That was insurance. Made him. We can't give this girl a heart attack. She's only in her 20s. Don't point that thing at me. Go off at any minute. like that She's like, I learned something about myself today. I'm into butt stuff. yeah His mind don't matter. I like butt stuff.
00:52:10
Speaker
So, yeah, he does a bend and spread and he cuts it. She pulls it out. And he's so laid down. Does the old bend and spread? Well, you know, he's been to prison. Oh, yeah. Death warrant. Oh.
00:52:27
Speaker
Well, that's where that lives. and The soldiers all show up. They they break into this place. And they just open fire, but he set up a fucking Kevin McAllister trap in here. Yeah. Also, listen to our episode of Cop Rock. This is just a fucking guy's ah the the chief of police's office. Yeah, because it's got that way. Swindling up buster. It's almost the exact same dude, too. That's all I thought of was like, this isn't the office of a fucking cop rock. Have a little tact in case you go shooting your guns off at this thing.
00:52:59
Speaker
I don't know, running cocks might be around somewhere. Yeah. He could have played the- He's not gonna make your movie worse. No. You could have played the Colonel. Oh, real quick. Speaking of this Colonel, I told you some other movies he was in, but I noticed, too. So, you know, there's a Men in Black cartoon. There was a Men in Black like animated series. OK. Well, there was. It does. It does sound familiar now. It doesn't matter because no one watched it, but it existed. He plays Kay in that. So he's doing Tommy Lee Jones and listening to this guy talk in this movie. I'm like, yeah, I could see that. Yeah, he could do a Tommy Lee Jones. Yeah. He doesn't sound like Tommy Lee Jones, but he could.
00:53:34
Speaker
Ooh, we'll have Timely Jones on here soon for Firebirds. I'm excited. Oh, yeah. No, we already did. That was last week. Time travel. Was I good?
00:53:46
Speaker
Yeah, we recorded it. Don't you remember? Was I good? Yeah. All right, cool. Were you there? Was it? No, I just got here into this consciousness. I mean, you were there because it was remote. That's our first main feed episode that will have video available. Oh, yeah. So I guess we'll see if it was good. But yeah, it's a trap. It's a trap. This is what it didn't make it.
00:54:12
Speaker
And this fucking gas station goes up like nobody's business. And it's like a huge explosion. And I was like, that was pretty good. Followed by another explosion. And it's like one of those explosions that just build and build and build. It just kept hitting all the other tanks. And the reason they couldn't find these guys is because the trunks of all these beat up old cars are filled with ice. And that's all they're hiding. Yeah. He found the ice. He's like, ah.
00:54:37
Speaker
I do. I know your tricks. The gas station attendant is hiding in one and he like comes out and then they like they go to steal the other car and take off and he's like, you know what? I'm just going back in here. Ice bath. Ice bath sounds nice. He's like, I'm gonna lock myself in this trunk. Sure, it's the Arizona desert. I've got ice. Someone will find me before I die.
00:54:57
Speaker
They do break into the truck. They steal a bunch of files, which I feel like never really comes to anything. I mean, they have information later, but we don't look at it. We get Dr. Gerber. That's how we get. Oh, that's right. She's she's reading about, yeah, Dr. Law and Order.
00:55:11
Speaker
Yeah. Dr. Daddy. Dr. Law. Dr. Daddy. Dr.
Confrontation with Lundgren
00:55:15
Speaker
Daddy's the worst thing. I love it. It's the worst thing you've said this year. It's early. Are you sure? Yeah, you said to me that I've heard. Dr. Daddy. That you can recall. Dr. Daddy's awful. I rang the new year in with you. It's like I'm role playing as somebody. Dr. Daddy. You made it worse. Okay, how about this? Dr. Daddy Law.
00:55:39
Speaker
No worse. That's worse because now it's like a legal doctor daddy booop boo beetoop Dr. Daddy. Dr. Daddy.
00:55:49
Speaker
Nope. He's making it worse, dude. He locked eyes with you. He looked you right into the soul. I wish we had video for that. I'm glad we didn't because we'd lose people. As soon as they watched Derek stare down the lens of the camera and say, well, jack especially because the way our setup is when we're recording here, we're sitting in the same places. So my camera is back. The back of it is to her. Yeah. So I would have looked dead into the camera and been like, Dr. Daddy.
00:56:15
Speaker
All right. Someone would have at least three people. You see what you've done? Three people would have came and 50 people would have quit listening. And one guy would have had a confused boner. His name would have been Jack. But so they drive away, but Dolph Lundgren's hiding in the backseat and he tries to garret fucking garat garat. Is that what it's called?
00:56:39
Speaker
Oh, the piano wire. Yeah. Yeah. He tries to do that to Jean-Claude Van Damme, which they don't breathe. Right. No, they do. You can kill them again. They breathe. They can just be brought back because we've seen a little bit. They can't bring back one of the that's right. Yeah. Deebo. Yeah. Deebo dies and at the end. And that's right. And Deebo's dies at a bash of all places. Bashes. Everybody dies at a bash. You know, made there is up there.
Eddie Basha for Governor Joke
00:57:09
Speaker
Because Eddie Basha, he ran for governor. Yeah. I think he was some kind of politician, muckety muck here in Arizona. Probably Republican. I'm sure. Just guessing. So did God. God ran for governor. Did he? That's an Arizona Tucson thing for people who don't know. Oh, he was the owner of a bar. There was a bar owner named God. Jim. Don't matter. He legally changed it to God. It's just funny statement if you don't know anything about it. Like, well, God ran for governor. Oh, yeah, he did. He did.
00:57:37
Speaker
that's right what meat wreckley I'm glad we don't have a fucking guest on
Humorous Chaos and Slapstick
00:57:42
Speaker
it. It's not from here. It's so confusing But we get a great dummy right here because van dam crashes into this pile of shit Not an actual pile of shit. This isn't back in the future and this Dolph Lundgren dummy goes flying through the window and it's fine and she you a I think a fall flat line. Oh, yeah, you should have buckled up. I thought it was funny.
00:58:02
Speaker
It got out of me. That's what it that's how funny it was. It was a. All right. Fair. They get away. Mission is canceled. G.R. 13, who is Dolph Lundgren? Get back in the truck. Like listen to me right now. And he just shoots this colonel right in the fucking eye. Square the eye. For some reason, he's just randomly wearing glasses while they're there.
00:58:23
Speaker
he's yeah he hasn't one glasses The rest of the movie the oh you tell you why ok because and because this squib is built into the glass The lens will shatter and fill with blood and so it looks like he is shot in the eye. Yeah Hold on. Am I reading glasses before I go discipline this guy? Well, you don't call me dr. Daddy for nothing He was he was in the truck getting ready and like they got there and he's like fuck I didn't have time to put in my contacts yet classes. They woke him up for this. I got to protect my eyes from the dust all around us. Yeah. Yeah. He's not used to that Arizona dust. No, well no. You'd never get used to that. It gets everywhere. But they're trying to the people inside the truck are trying to call the colonel. Dolph Lundgren comes walking in. He can't hear you. What you don't know is he's holding up two ears. Yep. Two ears. Gross.
00:59:08
Speaker
also awesome yeah i feel like they're rubbery if you chew on them they'd be like oh i like they've been production wise i'm like they are rubbery i mean real ears are probably rubbery too it's cartilage it's like soft cartilage you try to bite a pig's ear Not raw. the The problem is catching the pig.
00:59:28
Speaker
You ever smelled mothballs? Yeah. How do you spread his little legs? So have I heard that. Oh, what is that originally from? Is that I don't know. It's something I've heard. ah Something I know from a long time ago. Yeah, it's it's a classic old joke. Have you ever smelled mothballs? Yeah. How do you spread the legs?
00:59:50
Speaker
You ever been caught masturbating in the closet? Never. That's a really good hiding spot then. I've never masturbated in a closet. and That's not part of the joke. I do it while driving down the road and I make eye contact with everybody I park next to. Hey Derek, do you remember your first blow job?
01:00:05
Speaker
No. Was there a joke there? We're supposed to say yes. Do you remember your first blowjob? Yes. How'd you get the taste out of your mouth? There we go. There it is. I i said no because I was like, is that where the joke is? You're like, I know what he wants from me. I've got a 50-50 shot of answering this question to continue the joke. You kissed them.
01:00:24
Speaker
But don't floggering is in dominance. I'm giving the orders from now on. Yeah. Look at me. I'm Dr. Daddy now. What did I start? The name of a bad guy. We get a ah nice scene at this diner where Jean-Claude Van Damme discovers the joys of eating food. I like watching this man eat and and he's got a boy's charm right here. Yeah. Well, he watches the old man first and he's like, OK, what do I do? And he just mimics the old man. And then then with the mashed potatoes, it might be it might be some of his best acting, though. yeah That's what I was going to say. It's a really good performance because it's like he' he he's like, OK, this is how I eat. Sure. But then he does. He gets the mashed potatoes. He's got the potatoes and the meat in his mouth and he's like.
01:01:07
Speaker
Oh, fuck my okay God. He hasn't had cocaine yet on this shoot. And he's like, I have not eaten. He's so who's not acting as what you're saying. Yeah, this is in the next day. He's like, this is what food tastes like. Holy shit. I haven't eaten in weeks. I've had nothing but a fucking case of wine and a plate of coke.
01:01:26
Speaker
for nothing but cocaine and pro protein powder. I almost said propane powder. I sniff them both. but I sniffed them both, by the way. it Works faster. So he's mowing down these fucking specials. Lady keeps bringing it out. But after she's brought him, she is such a bitch, by the way. Oh, the way she slaps it down. Yeah. Yeah. Because she's brought him all this order has just been like thrown on the table. Well, yeah, and then she brings him all this food and then she's like, you know, your way to pay for this. He doesn't say anything. And she's like, we've got a fucking deadbeat out here. And I'm like, well, maybe he doesn't speak English, bitch. This could easily be a simple person, too. Like, yeah, I can't be on the spectrum. I'm not the only one. She's on the phone. Yeah. Wait for her to get back first. Yeah. Look how excited he is to eat. He's probably not 100 percent above board. He probably hasn't had food in 25 years. He definitely hasn't.
01:02:14
Speaker
They just feed them serum. Yep. Just nipple milk. That's how he gets so taught. I get isn't all milk, nipple milk, but we get our first not on van dam. and You don't think an almond's a nipple. We don't get it. We get it. We don't. I have almonds. Derek, can you milk me?
01:02:32
Speaker
of all minutes. We got our first. No, he can't because he he was definitely allergic to all men, sir. We got our first Van Dam kick. Whoo. Yeah. An hour and three minutes. An hour and three minutes. Yeah. His first, huh? Yeah. That's a long time. This is his least kicky movie. He didn't kick. I guess he didn't kick one of the terrorists. No, he's just been using it. Yeah.
01:02:54
Speaker
He might have given a punch to the face. Yeah, that's it because I i was like, OK. Wow. Yeah. Good. Good. ah Good clocking. Thank you. And there's this diner fight. All these big tough sea bass motherfuckers trying to fight him. It was a diner fight. He, of course, takes everybody out. One of these guys to go through the plate glass window. And that's how Ali Walker. Oh, but he also know now he gets popcorn, too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because I guess you better put that shit down. I'm going to look your. Because the show comes in after he throws that dude through the window. She comes in and looks all the old people are all that's left and they're just staring at him. How was your life? And he's just sitting there like smiling like a fucking child and eating popcorn. Good lunch. It looks like it's like that meme of Michael Jackson from the thriller video.
01:03:38
Speaker
Oh, my gosh, yes. All these old people in Diner, they're all the people that live in this town. This is probably Kingman. work Oh, yeah, I saw those guys. This is chloride. I don't know. Yeah, Kingman's almost the entire town is there for out of all the towns I listed, aside from maybe Prescott and Sedona.
Arizona Towns and Super Bus Description
01:03:57
Speaker
But and back in the early 90s, Kingman is the most an actual town.
01:04:01
Speaker
ah Prescott is a town. But I mean, that's what I'm saying. Aside from aside from Prescott and Sedona, because there are quite a few people who live there, too. But like chloride Baghdad is mess ah fucking whatever I said all these cities were asked for fallout town.
01:04:19
Speaker
ah Fallout town, I would go visit. ah Let's go get my ground zero Arizona. Oh, that's not a funny joke after 2020. It was ground zero. Oh, I guess nobody would wear a fucking mask.
01:04:38
Speaker
believe in them. They believed in us. You did. I did. You were good. Who's a good boy? I'm a good boy. You was a good boy. Guess who I didn't like getting sick. Meanwhile, back on the super bus, tall Flung I love a super bus, by the way. This is a fucking it's not even a war wagon. This is a fucking apocalypse train. Every time it pulls up somewhere, it has to like fold out like a big fancy RV because that's where all the shit, all the all the shit, all the people are stored. Well, the people and the computers. So you can see the computers are part of the thing. They go out. Yeah. Yeah. So you have more room for guys in chairs. Presumably, like presumably when it folds in, it's just like rows of soldiers. And then when it comes out is when they can access their seats and computers. Correct. Yeah.
01:05:19
Speaker
Well, yeah, dude, it's a fucking apocalypse train for love it. yeah But ah ah think of the cash. Leon Rippey comes up to or he goes to Dolph Lundgren. He's like, hey, can I have a word with you? And he holds up his necklace. I'm all ears. I'm all ears. Oh, oh, oh.
01:05:37
Speaker
See, I had some stuff in my head for his delivery and now I can't do anything but think about yours. So I'm just because it's just it's not him. I know him personally. I mean, that this is two years after Dark Angel, which we just recently discussed, and he was doing pretty good in that, too. He's he's better than Jean-Claude Van Damme hiding like John Claude's never tried to hide his accent, by the way. But he's better at like they I almost feel like I want to see a universe where they switch roles.
01:06:04
Speaker
Because Dolph is good at being the quiet stoic type, and a coked out Jean-Claude would be so good at manic, like, hey, I'm out of here. Get it? Look at this dangle dangle. I don't think Van Damme did the villain thing until... Expendables 2. Expendables 2, yeah. You're 100% correct. Yeah. Well, no, you're not. Because the first movie he did, which he barely spoke English, Never Retreat, Never Surrender. Oh, Never Retreat, Never Surrender. He's the bad guy there, but... Or No Retreat, No Surrender, whatever, yeah.
01:06:31
Speaker
Now we're cheating on surrender. We're thinking of Galaxy Quest. Yes, we are. Never give up. Never surrender. Yes, he he in that movie, by the way, I forgot about that movie. I have it over there on Blu-ray. Of course you do. In that movie, by the way, he plays a character named Ivan. You know who else played a character named Ivan? Ivan Drago.
Russian Characters Played by Foreign Actors
01:06:51
Speaker
Talking about Dolph. Dolph Lundgren. Rocky IV. Yeah.
01:06:54
Speaker
I never saw the Russians. So a Swede and a Belgian both played Russians because in the United States in the 80s we were like, look, foreign means Russian. We barely know the difference. It's foreign and it's not England. Is he a white foreign that doesn't drink tea? A white foreign?
01:07:14
Speaker
That's just America, dude. That's why they hate Russia like a white foreign. But basically, he's telling him, hey, you're overheating. You've got to go plug into the chair. That medic dude is like, why the fuck did you tell him? Yeah, because we're going to quadruple his serum, which I'm assuming he thinks will maybe like kill him. But we see later on, he's just injecting a whole maybe it's a different serum. I don't know. Well, it would be. It's also in their neck. Maybe it's more direct that way.
01:07:40
Speaker
I don't know. It's not more direct than when he sticks it in his fucking heart leader. It's to the serum true. The serum is to erase the memories so they can reset him. But it's also the super always go for the power button. Did you try unplugging him and plugging him back in again? Have you checked and see if your dog is on? I just want to make sure you have power to your dog.
01:08:02
Speaker
So Dolph kills this medic dude. This is the most confusing kill of the movie for me because like the guy comes in to do the the serum thing and Dolph was like, hey, motherfucker, let's see if it works.
Confusing Kill Scene
01:08:13
Speaker
Right. And he flips him over into the chair. The needle sticks in him and I was thinking, OK, the needle go in his neck like it did for all of them and he'll die because he's not programmed to be a ah beat boot. That sounds perfect. goes out But this doesn't do that. It goes in one cheek and out the other.
01:08:27
Speaker
And he dies. Oh, he has his head turned, I guess. But I but like looks he's pushing him down. ah So that's what I was thinking. He's not getting injected with shoving his face. Nobody's having a whole thing in his neck is broken now for being shoved onto. You can see my pantomimes shoving his face shoved down this empty thing because it's not on the headrest.
01:08:46
Speaker
Okay. And then it like like the the needles just through the cheek and the needle pops out the other cheek. Yeah. Cause I was like, the needle's popping out of his neck. It's not poisoning. i like it Cause it was going to be Leon Rippy that goes in and the the guy's like, no, it makes more sense if I do. It's like, no, it's just movie logic that we have to have the black guy die first.
01:09:03
Speaker
Yeah, not first, but before you. um Speaking of movie logic and black people dying first, do we all know that's a trope for horror movies, right? Yeah. I was watching a movie the other day called Mausoleum, which is pretty fun. Lots of boobs. ah Lots of good special effects. john You had me at boobs. John Karl Buechler did the special effects for that one. claren um But there is a a maid character who's a black woman doing the whole like Miami Southern made kind of thing. But she's in this house and all this creepy shit's happening. She goes up to this lady's room and like there's a green fog coming out under the door and stuff and she's just like.
01:09:39
Speaker
Well, fuck this, grabs her bag and leaves. Especially if you are fucking out, in either hired help or forced help. Nope. You're like, this is not my problem. Yep. This is, you know, even says at one point, she's like, there's a lot of weird shit happening in this house. This sounds like a family curse. You know what? I'm not family. Fuck you. You've been very clear. I'm not family. I'm out. Enjoy your green fog death. Yeah, she hightails it right the fuck out of that movie. She does. Excellent.
01:10:03
Speaker
um So there's this grenade bit cuz uh Leon rippy he's like, okay Well fuck this if we can't stop Dolph Lundgren we can stop his
Grenade Scene and Fourth Wall Break
01:10:11
Speaker
army. Yeah, so he hands Ralph Mueller this grenade and He's like hey your boss said ah hold on to this for 20 seconds and then drop it or whatever And that's when he gets only line one two three four. He looks right to the camera He's like should I hold this grenade? I don't know i feel like ah He just pulls a Ferris Mueller's. You know, sometimes I feel like life's too slow just to not stop and hold a grenade. Stop and smell the grenades. smell the grenades Oh, Dr. Dude's thumb gets caught in the hand. Dr. Dude, Dr. Daddy, who else we can add to this goddamn bus? It's a sex bus, but by the way. Dr. Damn.
01:10:48
Speaker
The guy you guys keep talking about Leon Rippey is the is the actor's name. Him.
Lundgren's Character's Mental State
01:10:52
Speaker
Yeah, his hand. His thumb is caught and he can't get his thumb out from Mueller's hand. Yeah. So death grip. The truck explodes. Not a huge explosion, but it's like on the inside, you know, and fucking it all. Flungrin drags these two. It's it's Deebo and Ralph Mueller into this bashes. And he's like, where's your freezer? He throws them in there. It's like my back to my platoon is dying.
01:11:15
Speaker
And he's, he's cracking right here. He's giving a speech about, I'm not going to use his racial slur, but it's the G word. well Yeah. For Asian people. And he's just, he's like, they're, they're fucking the war. yeah we We got, it we're going to win and everyone's soft. I kick ass, you kiss ass. And the spies are everywhere. And all I thought was, thank God you're in Utah and not somewhere with a diverse population. population <unk> He would have been shooting any Asian person, probably a person of color at this point. Yeah.
01:11:44
Speaker
You know, so it's like, all right, Utah. Well, these cops come running in and he kills them and he's like, see what I tell you. Everywhere. Spies. Spies, man. Sorry. Spies, man. They are everywhere. So Van Dam and ah Veronica go to Dr.
Flashbacks and Traumatic Recall
01:12:01
Speaker
Christopher Gregor's house was played by Jerry Orbach, who we mentioned, Law and Order.
01:12:05
Speaker
Um, he's also plays beauty in the, or a Lumiere, Lumiere, and broody in the beast. And broody in the beast. Broody, broody, broody. I'm real thirsty again. Sorry, broody. I'm just so dark and broody. And he's a beast. B. I guess, B. I guess. He's a little, uh, candlestick man. Oh, okay. Yeah. He's also in Toy Soldiers, so we'll be seeing him at least one more time. Oh yeah.
01:12:28
Speaker
so Try the great stuff. It's delicious. Don't believe me as the dishes. But when Van Damme sees him, he has some, you know, he's listening. He's probably going to keep singing. I love you, Vern. Go ahead and pause it and finish the song. Van Damme sees him has some flashbacks to his like transformation and whatever. But he also has a flashback to when he's a little kid. And for a split second, we see young Luke Devereaux with his family. with a little noge Young Luke Devereaux played by Jean-Claude Van Damme's oldest son, Chris Van Damme.
01:12:59
Speaker
um who was also in 13 other Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. But I'm guessing at least half of those. He's playing his younger self, at least in the quest. He plays young Chris or whatever in the quest. So but um strangely enough, other than the the ones where he's a kid, like the older ones, a lot of them are the 2000s. So a lot of the ones I haven't necessarily seen or if I have a seen, I don't remember. Uh huh.
01:13:23
Speaker
um He's not so he's clearly writing dad's coattails, right? He's in all every all the coattails. Yeah. Yes, coattails. That's perfect. All but one movie he's in are Van Damme movies, but he's not credited as Chris Van Damme. He's credited as Chris Van Varenburg. Oh, it's like he's trying to do a fucking Nicolas Cage, Esteban's or Nick Cage. But he's also just doing his dad's movie. Yeah. So I want to be known for my own merits. Also, dad, can I get a role?
01:13:51
Speaker
Uh, Nick Cage is credited as Nick Coppola in Fast Times at Reginald High. Yeah. Yeah, his first couple of movies. We just watched it last night. Oh, nice. Not for the first time. No, I didn't think so. I didn't think so. A quick, a quick catch up on my Nick Cage 365 days of Nick Cage you guys know about. We watched Fast Times. He's barely in it, but I wanted to watch it. So I was like, it counts. It's his first credited role. Credited film role. Well, and as wife person said, Coppola.
01:14:19
Speaker
Yeah. And it was Nick Kobla, but the first appearance that Nick Cage makes on film and accredited movie is at the beginning of that movie, when the school is all getting together for the first day of school. The first thing you see Nick Cage do is slap like a kick me style sign on someone, but it says I'm a homo.
01:14:38
Speaker
ah So 1980, whatever year that was. What an insult. 1980, whatever year it was. 82, probably. I don't know. I'm going to say 86 for 87. Oh, oh, that late. I don't know. It was some time in the 80s over there. True. I don't want to look it up. We'll play it on the game sometime. But there's a so there's a hostage shootout, like we mentioned at the bashes and.
01:15:03
Speaker
I feel like I've heard that, which is on the news here. You feel like that, but it was a safe way. And that was when Gabrielle Giffords got had an assassination. at attempt No, I still I think no, I remember early in the 90s, they're the best because we used to have a bashes on Houghton. Houghton on Broadway was a bashes and I.
01:15:19
Speaker
Well, that was before the East Side had shootouts. um I did live. I didn't live. My girlfriend lived across the street from that Safeway where Gabrielle Giffords got shot and I was staying at her house between Gabby Gifford got it and she got shot. And I was like, well, I have to go to work and I can't. Yeah, because that entire road was. Yeah. If I leave my house right now, I'm going to be detained. I swat or taken out. Yeah. Did you call him and be like, I literally can't physically get to work right now. i Eventually I was able to make it in time, but just barely.
01:15:50
Speaker
Marley, Marley. But Dr. Daddy mentions that Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren are both experiencing regressive traumatic recall. So for Van Damme, the last thing he remembered before he died was that he was just one to go home. So his instinct is to flee and go home. Uh huh. And Dolph Lundgren, the last thing he remembers is complete the mission and kill everybody. They're all traitors and we got to kill them all. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.
01:16:17
Speaker
um I got to win this war. Sorry. I got to win this war. Van Dam tries to send Veronica away. He buys her a bus ticket. She's the wife banger. Can't you see? We don't want her. Harry and the Henderson's. Yeah, that's what I think. Don't you see? We don't love you with him anymore. Get out of here, Harry. You big fucking beast. Get out of here, Ali Walker.
01:16:38
Speaker
And then she thinks she's doing the cute thing by not getting on the bus. But the bus pulls away and every cop in northern Arizona is on the other side of that bus. You tell it's not northern Arizona because they would have shot them. No, they're white. OK. All right. Same thing. Same thing.
Steak Scene Comedy
01:16:57
Speaker
Uh, so they get put on this prison transport, which Dolph Lundgren chases down, uh, Dolph Lundgren and Ralph Mueller, because Deebo has died, but those two are left. Mueller was healed by raw meat, as your wife pointed out. yeah Just eating a raw steak. Dude, that steak looks so good. I mean, I'd put a little char on it.
01:17:15
Speaker
You guys at least slap it on a grill. Yeah, right into the flame once maybe. I like Dolph's noises he's making when he's throwing these grenades. Did you catch it? It's almost like, what's his name? Dean Kane? Oh, Howard Dean Howard Dean literally in my notes. One of the later ones, that's when he says it because I was like Howard Dean celebration is what I wrote in my notes. So he does that much later. But here he's doing this like you throw in the grenades and all. I thought it was like we're going to have great Washington. Yeah. You want to play catch? Yeah. Like fucking Howard Dean's on his way here because he the he kills the team wishes he was that expressive. Yeah, he does.
01:17:59
Speaker
He kills this bus driver. So the bus is going out of control, but not too out of control. Yeah. And because I guess the body's there to keep it kind of. Yeah, sure. Sure. And yeah, all the windows are shut out. So he's tossing grenades in and Veronica's just tossing them right back out.
01:18:16
Speaker
By the way, maybe Tank or Tom can give the exact answer. I don't think grenades last 15 to 20 seconds before they detonate. Seems like a real big design flaw. I'm going to throw back at you. I'm going to pull at you with the Star Wars thing instead of the force would say ah editing the Van Dam. It didn't actually take that long. We got to see the full action of him throwing it and waiting for it to explode. She has lines. She's like, oh, my God, where is it? I can't find it. You shouldn't have enough time to say that.
01:18:42
Speaker
That's it. I don't know. These are those old grenades. Did she be more dangerous? I don't know. We have those as tap handles at the brewery. Noise. They look just like that. Go check out hard bottle brewing. Yeah.
01:18:55
Speaker
ah But yeah, they're doing the grenades in Arizona. I mean, yeah, super made in Arizona. The owners made in Arizona.
Arizona Brewery Mention
01:19:01
Speaker
The bartender was made. it Well, me, the other bartenders from Maine. So so come on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Far from Arizona as you can get in America and still be in the continental United States.
01:19:14
Speaker
But come hang out with me. It's fun. But the they get to the Grand Canyon and Van Dam has picked a lock to get to the front of the bus now so they don't drive directly into it. But he's telling her to jump out and she's like, I'm not going to leave without you. So he shoves her right out of the fucking bus. He's fucking living dead guy.
01:19:34
Speaker
She's a living girl. He's dead guy. Get over it. Living dead guy. And burn to the witches yeah and slam in the back of my Dragula.
01:19:48
Speaker
I mean, I guess the great canyon is technically a really big ditch, right? Yeah. it Might be the biggest that we know of. But yeah, I just don't I don't like how she's just like, I won't leave you, dude, get the fuck off the bus. Yeah. So he shoves her off the bus just in the nick of time because the bus gets flipped over, rolls like fucking crazy.
01:20:08
Speaker
ah Ralph Mueller tries to push this into the Grand Canyon Van Dam jumps out shoots him in the face and The whole thing goes over the edge bye, and this is where they blow up the Grand Canyon obviously They don't blow up the whole Grand Canyon impossible destruction everything sits there for like five seconds before it actually blows up and then it's like a chain blow up because you saw the amount of grenades that he was just Yeah. Oh, that's great. The grenades take a long time. OK, that's right. 30 seconds. You're right. It just keeps catching all the munitions. Like, good God, how many fucking grenades did Dolph have in there? I had so many. ah The sheriff, the the one that survived this convoy, tries to arrest them and she takes them out. They take his car and they go to Moreau, Louisiana.
01:20:52
Speaker
which is also in Arizona. Mm hmm. is a house. I guess you didn't grow a house built at the Pex Lake Golf Course in Clarkdale, Arizona. And there's a little side a little behind the story behind the scenes of it. ah Nearby was the Clark Mansion, which was built for one of Senator William Clark's sons who died in a plane crash nearby in 1932. The mansion mysteriously burned down in June 2010. OK, so I don't know if this person in the IMDb trivia is attributing that to a ghost. So I'm just stuck on a plane crash in 1932.
01:21:28
Speaker
It's just feel like that's all of them. It's a weird date to be like a weird year to be taking a plane in the first place.
Historical Plane Crash Discussion
01:21:34
Speaker
I've seen the aviator. It's not fun. it Doesn't seem a good thing. So we meet Van Damme's parents. ah The mother's name I did not get. Doesn't matter. But we got Vance. Oh, Rance. Rance. Rance. Rance. Rance. Rance. Welcome back. Previously on the show in ticks. Yeah. And soon to be on the show in terminal velocity.
01:21:56
Speaker
Oh, yes. Guy Tember. Guy Tember. He's in the Charlie Sheen movie we're going to talk about. He's a pilot that flies Charlie Sheen up and lets him jump right onto another plane. And let's people forget that he made, you know, the Howards, Ron and. I'm blanking on his name right now. Now I am because you are Clint. Clint. And then the grandfather of Darla. What's her name? Bryce Dallas. Bryce Dallas.
01:22:23
Speaker
i Mean Dallas has most of the same letters as darla Darla. She's in a different order replace the R with an S shuffle them around That's a redhead that made a redhead though. Yeah Well, cuz have you seen the mom I bet she's a redhead Your mom's not a redhead No, it's a recessive gene, but i'm I'm saying like Ron Howard found a red-headed woman because he's like, I'm so special. um like I need to preserve my red-haired jeans. Oh my God, you guys, my phone was listening. I just opened Google to see who Ron Howard's wife was. The article that comes up on the Discover feed, Bryce Dallas Howard, Skeleton Crew. Oh man. They're listening.
01:23:00
Speaker
The robot. I mean, they are. We do have microphones in front of us. Yeah. Howard's wife. We're trying to get people to listen to us. Cheryl Howard. No, she's not a redhead. Show me your pubes. Wait. She is told you. There was a different picture. You can tell by the eyebrows. Well, there's a different picture. And I thought because there's words over one of the people. So I thought that wasn't the wife, but it turns out it is the wife. The wife is the one covered in
Phones Listening Joke
01:23:27
Speaker
words. The other person is a random person. Stupid.
01:23:31
Speaker
Told you. They're like, this is Cheryl Howard. And covers the person with the name. Yeah. Cheryl Howard. See, you can tell because the words are on top of it. We labeled her. But they get there. Mom comes out and sees Jean-Claude Van Damme. She's like, impossibly. Suck me blue. Are they saying suck me blue?
01:23:54
Speaker
In my mind, yeah, that's very well. But apparently mom is the French one. Yeah, because Rance is not trying to do a French. I mean, they barely have lines, but he's just like, you're doing stuff. You're home. it Yeah, he he showed up on set like you do Cajun accent. Nope. Well, record. I can do an old man. Yeah, I can talk. like Ron Howard do contact, right? I don't know.
01:24:20
Speaker
Or he did one of them there. I don't know. maybe I was I was thinking maybe he was next door making a movie and Rance was just there and they're like, we need an old man. What are you doing? Can we borrow him for a year old man? Are you calling him? No, I meant like your dad. No, like your father, your fucking old man.
01:24:38
Speaker
Who's that old lady? That's my old lady. But so Veronica decides she's going to go try to clear her name because they're definitely going to listen to her. Uh-huh. She gets to the car. Oh, fuck. I forgot the keys. no the key She's like, I swear to God, the keys were here in the car. And there's Dolph because they always come back at least once. Did you lose something? I need a backstory on this outfit.
01:25:01
Speaker
Where did he get the clip in his hair? or If you keep with a rattle, it is like a Native American headband. Yep. With a rattlesnake tail dangling off. the yeahp you He has at least three or four different like sheriff's. Yes jacket pinned on a leather vest. So like that's how many people tried to arrest him. Yeah. hand And he's got stripes on his arm. His ear necklace has gotten very heavy. Yeah. The the face paint that he does is from the beginning of the movie, by the way.
01:25:26
Speaker
Yes, I do remember that he's got the hostages. He's painted some weird shit on his face. I don't want to say this paint at the beginning, and it probably isn't here either. It's human blood. I didn't say he used paint. Hey, I don't fucking question the artist, OK? Or the canvas or the medium bands across his arm. Yeah. Well, he went full. This is what Universal Soldier 2 should have been was just the story of Dolph Lundgren getting from Utah to Louisiana. Yes. There we go. I would watch that. The hero of the movie is the murderer because he has to make it to the end. That's how the movie. The other movie continues. Oh, for him. Oh, wait. So that if they did do that, then you would watch this movie up until the Grand Canyon scene. Turn it off. Mm hmm. Turn on Universal Soldier to watch it and then go back to Universal Soldier one. The logic checks out. Yes, it does. Man, we have to do this. We have to write it and make it first. Dreams.
01:26:20
Speaker
But so he kidnaps her, he kidnaps the parents, calls out Van Dam and we get them fighting. And it's it's another Van Dam getting his ass kicked. And it goes back and forth a lot between talking and fighting until we should have gotten some of this soldier. I love it. It's John Wayne.
01:26:40
Speaker
That's what he sounds like.
Praise for Lundgren's Performance
01:26:42
Speaker
Howdy, Pilgrim. You should have gotten some of this here. Serum, Pilgrim. But instead of Pilgrim, it's soldier. You're going to inject me with what? Oh, Serum. Sorry, I thought you said something else that started with an S.
01:26:56
Speaker
you know the sticky breakfasts They're always after me serum. They're always after me lucky serum. I got it from the Lucky Mart. I bet it is lucky. But he's like, where should we shoot her? Because he's got Van Damme holding the gun in his hand. Where'd you shoot her? In the stomach? In the heart?
01:27:16
Speaker
Oh, I think we should shoot her in the head. This is the best the best part. Dude, he is so fucking excited. He doesn't give a shit. I love it. He is giving the best performance. I think just here.
01:27:32
Speaker
i'm I'm I'm not complaining about the movie. I'm just criticizing. I like he has a he has it in him right here showing how awesome it is. Yeah. For me, man, he's hitting those tones that you just hit and he's not doing it enough in the early part well and like because he he's still a robot in the early part, but you see him. They thought I'm sorry. I'm kind of you. They show him like ah Van Damme says something and Dolph is sitting there, but like opens his eyes and like side looks i'm like He's given a little bit like he remembers he knows every day. He's just waiting for his chance Yeah, and then the less that he's getting the serum the more crazy he's going because all of the memories I think he did a or the nominal job He's not getting the memories here. He's just getting the super soldiers yeah super soldier. Yeah At one point he's he's just over there and the the medic that's now dead was like what what's he doing? So he's making himself stronger. to He's going full US agent
01:28:22
Speaker
Yeah, they even the medic, he's like, that's a great idea. Who's that that plays you? Oh, it's ah Wyatt Russell. Wyatt Russell. Yeah. But yeah, no, I get what you're saying. I just i I now that I see him do this part, his Joker moment, if you will. Yes. I want to see more of them at it. Yes. Because he is like in the head. Oh, it's empty. Oh, shit. And of course, you know, she's trying to cut her binds off yeah on the compactor thingy.
01:28:51
Speaker
And Thresher, I don't know. Yeah, I think I wrote down Thresher. Thresher sounds good. But she goes to try to get away and he just like the beginning of the movie with the lady that was getting away, he throws a grenade at her and it explodes. So Van Damme thinks she's dead. But this is where I have in my notes Howard Dean's celebration because he throws that grenade and explodes and he just goes, yah! Just the arm across the chest and everything. I'm going to blow up your girlfriend, then I blow up your mother, then I blow up your father. Yah!
01:29:17
Speaker
ah Okay, i' who the fuck is Howard Dean? We've told you this on multiple episodes. Yeah, he was a hopeful candidate for President of the that's right. And then he won the Iowa primaries, and then he did a beyond, and then everybody was like, well, we can't have a president who wants to be president. yeah For the listeners. It's not for me. It's for the new listeners. No, we You're talking to Tucson's biggest Howard Dean fan. She have you not seen her tattoo on her arm. This is I love you. You know what? I don't remember anything about his politics, even though that was in an election I was voting in. Yeah. But I do know that I love him because I want a president who says, I just love that we had a time that that was a bad thing. Like now. Now you now you can just, you know, have sex with porn stars, kill people, pay them off, steal government secrets. Yeah. I wish our president's problem was saying, yeah, get pissed on Jesus Christ.
Political Scandals Compared to Trivial Controversies
01:30:09
Speaker
I wish our president wasn't a felon.
01:30:12
Speaker
A legend. No, no, it's not a legend. We don't know a legend. Don't tell me it didn't happen. I saw it happen. I watched the court. But now we get full on Van Dam Kiki fighting. Yeah, we know he does the full jumping roundhouse kick because.
01:30:28
Speaker
Van Dam is not a tall man. No. And guess who is? Dolph Lundgren is a very tall. Yeah, I think we looked up at it six, four, six, five. Yeah. And Van Dam does a jumping roundhouse kick right in his fucking head and follows it up with like two or three more kicks before Dolph catches his leg. And then he does another round flick. Yeah, he does the thing where he like tries to twist his leg to break it and Van Damme flips with it. He does this in every movie, but it's always great. Twist it and he just flips with it and kicks him in the fucking head again. Pop it and twist it, bop me, kick me. And then we get one of my favorite lines, probably the best, but I guess not one liner, but set up line because Dolph Lundgren is getting ready to take out Van Damme and he's like, say good, say good night, asshole.
01:31:13
Speaker
And then good night, asshole, asshole, asshole. And then fucking just fucking kicks him right through the side of this bar and basically crucifies him on this thresher. Yep. I mean, he does stab himself. Oh, yeah. yeah We did talk about him injecting muzzle milk. Right. and like Like you had said, because I said the neck, it is in the heart directly. We saw Dolph do it.
01:31:36
Speaker
It like a good shot, by the way, because it's a slow mo of that fucking giant. Yeah, I was actually thinking about it. I was like, is this one of those? It's a retracting thing, but it doesn't push back until you get so much pressure that it looks like it's going to pierce the screen. Because it's barely a hypodermic needle. It's closer to a gerbil feeder. Yeah. Like with how thick it is. I want to say it's a 14 gauge. It's a very thin needle, putting a whole lot of liquid into a person very quickly. Yeah, directly into your fucking heart, bro. Well, if you want it to spread fast, go to my heart. I like to inject it into my heart. Now I'm going to Jesse the body. Well, he does like to inject things into his heart. John Wayne, you got a John Wayne then. I like to inject things. Ask my wife, soldier. Ask your mom, soldier. And of course, there's always one more, Dolph Lundgren.
Climactic Fight and Victory
01:32:23
Speaker
Pops back up because he Jean-Claude goes and checks on him by the way when they're fighting Jean-Claude's like fucking audio work is like just cat noises yeah like By the way if I get another cat it's Jean-Claude's Van Damme That's happening but Yeah, i hold her like
01:32:41
Speaker
and I don't will pick him up and send me he's like yeah It's like you're throwing your cat on the couch. Yeah, that was never done. you do No, you only hold her like a barber. I do hold like a baby. But there's always one more. He sits up. Van Damme shoves his ah his one free arm back down onto the thresher, hits the big start button and it's your discharge, Sarge. Oh, who fucking just.
01:33:06
Speaker
Chunks, chunks of chunks of Dolph Lundgren. What did they put in there? Like a cow? And mom and dad. I am sorry about this patch of land that has my friend all over it. He wasn't my friend, but we we they were friends. There was even were friends. Yeah. OK, so now my friend is all over your back patio. Well, speaking of that, he finds Veronica and she's alive and she's like, where's Dolph Lundgren? And he's like, around, around. So you had mentioned something about sequels and shit.
01:33:34
Speaker
You bring back Dolph by having, they here's how you do it though. Somebody planted some like trees here and the apples became tainted with Dolph DNA. And kids ate him and all of a sudden they started growing up and like, hey there dad, hello Dr. Daddy. And now you've got like they start taking over and they get at least a little army of Dolphs.
01:33:55
Speaker
OK. You got to be careful. You say that Whitney hears Army of Dolls and she's out the building. I am. Welcome to the doll house. Oh, OK. Movie does have five sequels, two of which are direct to TV or direct to TV movies that came out both in 1998. What channel? ah I don't know. Probably like a Showtime or something like that, I would think.
01:34:20
Speaker
OK. Yeah, the 90s. They weren't doing prestige TV. They were doing shitty that HBO is where all those substitute sequels came out. OK. Yep. Yep. Perfect. But we've got Universal Soldier to Brother in Arms starring no one and nobody. Universal Soldier three unfinished business starring no one and nobody and Burt Reynolds. And then Van Dam got desperate for money.
01:34:47
Speaker
So we've got in 2000 or in 1999. So the next year. ah Van Dam is back in Universal Soldier, The Return, along with Bill Goldberg and Michael Jai White, who actually was one of the soldiers in Vietnam at the beginning of this as well. Oh, what Michael Jai White? Yeah, I was looking for him. I didn't see him, but I read about it a couple of different places because I was like, yeah, he's there, but he shows up later and plays Seth or something.
01:35:16
Speaker
hu And then there are two more sequels in 2009 2012 where Dolph also returns Universal Soldier Regeneration and Universal Soldier Day of Reckoning. Regeneration is the one we eat. They eat the apples.
01:35:34
Speaker
That's it. So, you know, down the line, maybe we've got to lock and load at at least the ones with Van Damme and Dolph. Well, Van Damme, Goldberg and Michael Jai White. I'll do that one, too. I started thinking about it like as somebody that doesn't ah really believe in an afterlife. i so You can sign my body up for this program. Oh, yeah you guys can reanimate me and have me keep podcasting.
01:35:55
Speaker
If that science is available, I mean, you keep your house pretty cold. We do. I think I'd be okay. You We'll put a coffin back there and plug it in so it's just constantly refrigerated until we need you and then just set you up on the chair. If you're saying I'm going to start sleeping in a mortar drawer, I'm already in. Yes, sir. All right.
01:36:14
Speaker
but them silk panties on you. So silk underwear. I'm just clicking on like letterbox things for the Universal Soldier thing, trying to figure out who this guy Matt Bataglia, who plays Luke Devereaux in the two and three of the TV movies. I know the name Matt Bataglia. I found another movie he's in called Raven.
01:36:33
Speaker
which also has Burt Reynolds, but it's like a fat Burt Reynolds. I didn't know there ever was a fat Burt Reynolds. Oh, yeah. You haven't seen Coppin a half. He's wearing a girdle. I didn't know that. This is this is like a this Burt Reynolds like a tree trunk. Hmm. All right. Let's also got Richard Gant anyway.
01:36:52
Speaker
That's it for this movie. So we'll go around the horn for recommend. Yeah, we did. That's the end of the movie. They fucking kissy kiss. and No, they don't kissy kiss. There is zero kissy kiss. You can kiss. Nope. That's where they kiss. He just he begged over and mooned her. No, she kisses. That's what this what I want to talk about. And one of the reasons why I think she is family is because she never kisses a man in anything I've ever seen her in.
01:37:15
Speaker
My family, you mean a lesbian. Correct. Don't be code to people who are listening and don't know what you're talking about. Talk to me like I'm five. I think she likes the ladies and I'm okay with that. Talk to me like I'm four. but So let's go around the horn for recommendations, wife. Yeah, I totally recommend this. I think Dolph puts on a wonderful fucking performance.
01:37:33
Speaker
um JCVD doesn't have an accent, apparently, but you get bada booms. You get fun, chargey things. You get some one liners. I mean, this I never I. What's the fun, chargey thing? I don't. The charges.
01:37:51
Speaker
the the rap the car is the boom boom Oh, the cars crash into things. Yes. Like I was on board. to Everything she's saying and also is like, I'm a fucking idiot. What the hell is the charging thing? This is Dragon Ball Z, the movie. Oh, by the way, if that had Van Dam, way better movie. what What did I watch this for the first time with you guys last year?
01:38:13
Speaker
No, we watched it two years ago. I'm going to say I haven't seen this movie in easily 15 years, probably 20, probably 20. Really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. We watched it about two years ago. OK. And that was my first time. And so when you said we're going to do it, I was like, dope. Let's do it again. I also. Sorry. I'm done. Cut you off. You are you're good. Yes.
01:38:34
Speaker
Um, yeah, I was I'm done. I was excited to watch it for the same reason. I hadn't seen it a long fucking time. So it works. It's we talked about the best Jean Claude acting, maybe not your favorite Jean Claude movie, but he does put on that little boyish kind of thing in the diner. I love it. Often subdued. Yeah. Like even when he's delivering a lot of dialogue, he's always kind of whispering a little bit and he's not doing his normal. Yeah. Yeah. Like screams. But and Dolph Dolph, yes, I want more from him, but he's killing it.
01:39:03
Speaker
So yeah, yeah, full recommend. I don't need caveats. This is one I'm glad I purchased because now I can pop it off. Yeah, we watch this separately. Yeah. Yeah, this is a hardy recommend. I mean, it is a good performance from Van Dam. It's a really good performance from Dolph like accident aside to just the slow progression of his insanity. And then that that end sequence.
01:39:25
Speaker
If you put all your cool shit at the end, it's OK, because then at the end of the movie, people are like, that was fucking cool. It looked a good taste in your mouth. Exactly. I do think. And there was no forced love interest like they got through this together and they're friends. Now, she wants that D even if she is a lesbian because she's seen him naked.
01:39:42
Speaker
His mom and dad are there, dude. She can't blow them. But it's not expressly said. She did stare into his asshole and maybe it did. Maybe he had hemorrhoids. And so once you have stared into that gaping maw.
01:39:57
Speaker
But I do think Van Dam, he's he is subdued. He's doing a little bit more like performing than he usually does. Yes. But I also think given that this is ninety two and I believe Terminator two had already come out at this point. So I think maybe he's trying to do a little bit of an Arnold because he's doing the robot soldier kind of thing. OK. So he's trying to be like, I don't have emotion. I am. I need to. I want to say that was ninety two. I don't know. I mean, one was like eighty four.
01:40:25
Speaker
Yeah. And maybe it hadn't come out yet. I mean, if even if it didn't have ninety two, even if it came out ninety two, he they hadn't seen it because this movie obviously filmed in ninety one. ah But just that's how that's the vibe I got. But it doesn't. That's not a bad thing. He's performing. He's giving like some real good charm. He was released in ninety one.
01:40:44
Speaker
Okay, he doesn't seem so full of himself like he started yet Like we got more than one movie out of Van Dam where he's not full of himself He's not Steven Seagal. Uh-huh where he did like one movie and he was like, I'm pretty cool and they did another movie He's like, na I'm really the best aren't I? Yeah, and then it just went downhill and then Vin Diesel very similar thing. Yeah, exactly So lose fights anymore We got like the mid 80s to the mid 90s out of Van Dam before he did Street Fighter. And then when he kind of tried to have that resurgence, he was making fun of himself again. And I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's called, you know, but an awakening, you know, growth awakening. Yeah. But so that's it. um Next week's episode continue made in Arizona month with a movie that these two love and I have never seen. Can't buy me love. Yeah, maybe get you some don't don't fight us on if the good movie or a bad movie. Just wait. No, again, when we were discussing it, I wasn't fighting you guys on whether or not to do it. I was fighting you guys on whether or not I was like, but you guys really love what I mean. You know, sorry. We're talking about listeners. Oh, OK. i think Before you add us, just hear the episode. All right. And you also calm down. Yeah, you've had too many coke tales. People can't buy me love. I don't know. You actually can, in fact, buy me love just so you know, it's called Star Wars toys.
01:42:04
Speaker
Don't forget to check out our patreon patreon dot.com slash worse people. It's only three dollars a month You get two bonus episodes every month this month. We have a patreon listener request speaking of patreon from our one of our longer subscribers tank tom who requested Harley Davidson of the Marlboro man, which is ah Mickey Rourke and Don john john Johnson. Yeah. Okay. That's what I was thinking Tom Johnson from... ah Miami Vice. I was going to say 50 Shades of Grey's Daddy. A Boy and His Dog. Or Knives Out. Or A Boy and His Dog. Dude, that movie is fucking weird. It is weird. You know what? I watched like five minutes of it over at Bleep's house and there was a tone, like just a an incessant beeping and I had to leave. I was like, if if you don't turn this off, I'm gone. You're like, I'm having ants, flashback? This was pre-ants.
01:42:57
Speaker
I do own this movie. I just haven't watched it yet. We also have our next episode of Latch Key Veds coming out for you this month. Episode three of Cop Rock entitled Happy Mudders Day. Oh, so that's a thing. Hello, mother. I watched it. I don't remember anything except for this is the one where there's definitely a story thread about how ugly the mayor is. Oh, can't wait. Oh, she's such a looker.
01:43:24
Speaker
Anyway, just thank you, Vasion, of course, for opening and closing music. So that's it for this week. I've been Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. Say good night, Good night, asshole. Good night, asshole.
01:44:03
Speaker
Yeah, I know him from uh, you know, personally. Yeah. Well, we're on the molar when we're on the set of gladiator together. Yeah. idiots Yeah. We hung out with Russell Crowe.
01:44:15
Speaker
No, I really hope that. derek's No. whitney Just deflating. yeah You got full Steve's on.