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EP170: Rob DuBois - Confessions Of A Former Navy SEAL
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How do you know if you're moving in the right direction or just following someone else’s path? Why is it so easy to lose sight of what really matters along the way? In this episode Rob, a retired Navy SEAL, digs into why modern manhood isn’t just about strength but purpose, alignment, and serving with integrity. From nerdy thug to ‘better man’ coach, he’s on a mission to help you find your true design without breaking under pressure.
To Rob, real masculinity means sacrifice without self-abandonment and embracing complex relationship dynamics. For him, success isn’t about numbers; it’s about health, happiness, and showing up fully for your family. When he coaches, he asks the big question: 'Why do you want more?'
Rob Dubois is a retired US Navy SEAL, the founder of Impact Actual, speaker, coach, and trainer for Total Self Mastery. Connect with Rob on LinkedIn, visit his website at https://impactactual.com/, and listen to his podcast Beyond Your Limits on all players.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/robdubois/
You’re invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you’re there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books.
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Transcript
Foundation of Masculinity
00:00:00
Speaker
I think the foundation of a masculine soul is to serve, to sacrifice, and also to not just abandon the self, because there's all kinds of complexity there in relationships. I define success as healthy and happy, and that sounds like a cop-out to some people. But then when I coach people, if I were coaching you, doing impact coaching with you, I'd say, okay, you want to make tens of millions? Why? But I live in a fulfillment that is not based on the arbitrary of zeros and commas, but saying, how are my kids? Are my kids thriving? Because if they are, and I'm there for them like you are for yours.
Introduction to the Podcast and Guest
00:00:29
Speaker
Then they're on the right path, and that means I'm on the right path.
00:00:49
Speaker
knocks you down, you get back up because in your gut, you know that's what men do. You're a badass and a warrior. And on the days when you forget, we are here to remind you who you really are.
Rob Dubois' Journey and Impact Actual
00:01:04
Speaker
Welcome to Sovereign Man Podcast, where we aim to make men masculine. Again, I'm your man, Nicky Baloo. We have a very special guest for you today, Rob Dubois. Welcome, Rob. Thank you very much, Nicky. Good to be here. Good to have you here. So, Rob, for my guest benefit, tell us a bit about your backstory.
00:01:23
Speaker
Okay, when I was born, I was very young. All right, a little fast forward from that. So I'm a retired Navy SEAL, did 20 years in the Navy as a spook and a SEAL. So I'm kind of a nerd thug. I tried to join the Navy to be a SEAL, but got trapped into a contract to be a a Russian linguist as a Cantor Soviet guy back in the day when there were Soviets. I did that for 10 years, finally got my shot to go to Buds, went to Buds, and finished my career as an intel guy on a red
Current Challenges in Masculinity
00:01:51
Speaker
team expert. So I retired in 2006, almost 20 years ago.
00:01:55
Speaker
ah Found that a company called Impact Actual continuing to do red team stuff for human beings. Basically, the work in red teaming is finding the gaps in a security but process or posture. And that's what we do with Impact. At the Impact system, it's all about finding the gaps in yourself as a whole person, bottom of my heart and soul. Right on. So we're living in a day and an age where the very idea of manhood and masculinity is under assault in certain quarters.
00:02:25
Speaker
And people like me are stepping up to say, hey, manhood's good. Masculinity is awesome and super necessary. And we want to bring voices like yours, people who've been the baddest of the bad warriors out there, to come and A, act as an inspiration for men who listen to the podcast because the very fact that men like you are around inspires younger men in particular. But also, B, to have you share a bit about your wisdom about how to be a capable, strong, masculine man. And I'd like you to start with that.
Motivation Behind Becoming a Navy SEAL
00:03:09
Speaker
you know You were a young man, you wanted to be a SEAL. What about that attracted you? I love that question. I've been asked many times, why do you want to be a SEAL? And i the first thing I thought of when I was a kid was I wanted to be the most capable I could be to ah to be able to give at my highest possible contribution. and I'm not going to, you know, water it down and say, well, like I used to, people would say, thank you for your service. And I'd say, well, you know, it was a job and everybody does a job and librarians important and so are store clerks and so forth. And my old teammates said, stop being a dick about this Rob, stop watering it down. just appreciate their appreciation. That helped to to change my mindset on that. So yes, it was a very honorable career. I'm very proud to be a retired SEAL and very proud to continue to serve as I am now. The second thing I thought of as why I wanted to be a SEAL was I wanted to be tested.
00:04:05
Speaker
And I think that's something that's missing in a lot of young men's lives these days. We have people who are men who are not tested, not like a rite of passage, if you will. You know, we both have histories. We all have histories. Everybody comes from somewhere. And most cultures, traditional cultures, have a crossing over moment.
00:04:23
Speaker
A friend of mine, the Maasai tribe back in Kenya, or Tanzania, ah James, told me about their crossing over, their rite of passages to be publicly circumcised at the age of 15. And if you flinch, you're never accepted as a full man in the tribe.
00:04:40
Speaker
I can't think of anything worse than that. Native Americans have the Sundance and so forth. For me, growing up in the 70s and 80s, I realized i'm just i mean we weren't even into the cell phone age. I wasn't even like doing screen time all the time. I was just a kid who you know had some Dungeons and Dragons and hated homework. and was realizing there's nothing that makes the mark of when I go from this kidhood to the manhood.
Importance of Male Affiliation
00:05:05
Speaker
So when I learned about seals or commandos in general, I realized that was a place, that was a way for me to earn my way into the men's circle. So let's talk more about this testing yourself. Because I think you're right, men today don't test themselves as much as they did in the past. Why do you think that's important for men to do today? And
00:05:27
Speaker
What do you recommend a man listening to this do to continuously test himself? Another great question with my clients, my coaching clients, a lot of whom are men. I have a a small group coaching club right now with of male leaders. We call it the platoon. I built that over recent months of men who need to affiliate with other men. That's another big part of it. So as far as crossing over being tested, as far as recognizing one's own accomplishing of getting into the place where you know you're capable because that's the the root of manhood is being capable, capable and of course protection, procreation, all the P words, you know, dealing with your family, being there for people and serving society in general.
Societal Changes and Men's Responsibility
00:06:14
Speaker
A lot of that's lost because society has lost a lot of the focus on that. My generation growing up
00:06:20
Speaker
from the sixties on was you know we still has had residual ah man up step up kind of stuff and so I never say but I often don't say but because if I say but it means everything I just said is bullshit so and um We also had some guys who were not healthy in their masculinity. That's why I talked about body, mind, heart, and soul, the whole human being. So in society, because of comfort, ease and comfort, it has become easy for a male to grow straight from babyhood through kidhood and teenhood into adulthood without ever recognizing that inherent responsibility to serve.
00:07:04
Speaker
Um, so with the platoon, you know, guys who affiliate and recognize they want to team side by side, shoulder to shoulder with other guys for the general good of, you know, that synergy. Uh, Stephen Covey taught about that in the seven habits. You take a little stick, you break it like no, no effort at all. You take a bundle of sticks and try to break that. There's a synergistic a capacity to, to be strong, to be resilient. I call it be the rock BTR, be the rock men.
00:07:31
Speaker
ah And b it's kind of a cool acronym because it's an and NSA guy I can't resist acronyms and BTR stands for better men BTR men so that's the that's the ultimate I think the foundation of a masculine soul is to serve to sacrifice and Also to not just abandon the self because there's all kinds of complexity there in relationships The strong silent type is not functional on in today's society. It's not you know don't talk about anything, don't don't express yourself. We need to have those safe environments, safe places to talk with other men. I talked about that in Powerful Peace, which by the way, I have not sent you yet because I'm a dumbass, but here's a copy of Powerful Peace, which is going in the mail to you. um And in Powerful Peace, I talked about it in the front that
00:08:13
Speaker
Service members are going to be scarred if they haven't gone in yet, recruits and veterans. Veterans have been scarred, the body, the mind, the heart and the soul. And there's a deep need for that in the social structure, the and the whether it's i'm I've been pretty much everywhere. I've seen that deep need in masculinity in every culture on every continent. Regardless of religions or complexions, it's all about a man should step up and serve.
Redefining Safe Spaces for Men
00:08:38
Speaker
Well, I grew through the man should step up and serve. I got a I got a real problem with that term safe space. I just find it to be a very unmascaline phrase. Well, it sounds, it's it's very modern of course. It's not, I'm not saying safe space in that sense, like go to that special room or give me your timeout card and bootcamp safe space. What we need is safe relationships, safe environment with men we can trust and talk to. So we're not hiding everything.
00:09:08
Speaker
I think it's absolutely critical that men have men they can trust. That word has just been turned into a woke bastardization ah that I don't think really... speaks to what men are today. you You know, they talk about safe spaces in universities and colleges, places where people don't get triggered by something they hear on campus. Give me a fucking break, man. You're in America, the land of the First Amendment. You know, you gotta like be able to take somebody disagreeing with you without you falling to goddamn pieces. Right. Like, give me a break. Like, listen, where I come from, Iran?
00:09:44
Speaker
They don't like your your political views and they sure as heck didn't like my family's and eyes. They kill you They'd storm your house at midnight. They'd kill you in America. There's a thing called the First Amendment It's a beautiful thing. It truly is check it out You know what I mean? I heard about that somewhere. I can't remember where yeah Yeah, like really straight up. But yeah men need a place where they can let their masks slip right in in our world we talk about masks and Like men have always been wearing battle masks since the beginning of time. And today we wear metaphorical battle masks. And those metaphorical battle masks need to be scrunched on pretty tightly, except when you're around men you can trust. Because otherwise, if you go out and let your battle masks slip around other men, you're competing with them. They're competing with you. They're going to use any information they can against you to mess you up.
00:10:40
Speaker
and And it's very important that you've got a place like the platoon, like the sovereign circle in our world, where you can have real ah powerful conversations with other men. So I wholeheartedly agree with you about that. um But say, same man's listening to this and he's, I don't know, in high school, ah getting ready to graduate, or he's in university, or he's considering going in to university,
00:11:07
Speaker
ah and and people are telling them, well, don't go to university, go work. Back in the day, they tell them, don't don't don't work, go to university. Today they're telling him, don't go to university, go work.
Testing and Aligning with Purpose
00:11:18
Speaker
So what would your advice be there? How can he test himself? How's he going to get bigger, better, stronger?
00:11:24
Speaker
I think it matters deeply that a man is in touch with what he really wants, his alignment, his design, where he wants to go. A lot of people don't have that sense of direction, a sense of purpose, what I want to be. Of course, traditionally, a guy would have that from his dad, you know, baker and sons. They're the shoemakers or the actual bakers.
00:11:43
Speaker
um And so, you know, a picture, the traditional almost funny yeah a stereotype of an Asian Chinese father, for example, that says, you're going to get great grades, you're going to be an engineer, you're going to be a surgeon. And the kid says, well, I want to be a florist. Doesn't matter. You're going to be an engineer or a surgeon, right? Well, that is, again, too restrictive in my opinion, because we're just not made to be little drones.
00:12:08
Speaker
We're not made to be little people that just follow others around and obey them to become what they want us to be in there their vision of ourselves. So it isn't inherent and incumbent on on a man to say, you know what, here's what matters to me. So university and going into the workforce, going into the trades, for example.
00:12:25
Speaker
What matters to me is that a man, a young man or ah ah a man of some maturity is in alignment with what is his intentions are for what he wants to be. Because although there is a lot of silliness in university ah with, for example, I had a friend when I first retired from the Navy, she was a PhD. She was working on a red team I was on and she had zero life experience. She was a doctor, probably 27 years old, drank a lot of tea with a little tea set all over her desk.
00:12:54
Speaker
And nothing wrong with any of that. I'm cool with tea. I like tea. I like people having their desk be their way. But when I realized she was making a lot more than this retired Navy SEAL with a full career of both intelligence operations and operation operations and analysis and all the things that I could bring to the table as a red team becoming a terrorist, I realized that we honor the wrong thing. Look at teachers being underpaid, nurses being underpaid. These are essential parts of society. So when a man is looking for what he wants to be, let me go back to her. I'll call her Mary. she would she I said, how did you become a PhD? Why did you decide to go in that direction? And she said, well, I went to college after high school. My folks sent me there and I finished my degree and I didn't know what I wanted to do. So I stuck around and I got a master's.
00:13:39
Speaker
And then I said, wait, let me finish it for you. You didn't know what you wanted to be after the master, so you stuck around and got a PhD. And she said, yeah, that's it. That's not the purpose in my opinion. That's the silliness of a university where somebody's gonna actually wipe your bottom for you for 10 years while you become whatever is convenient. University is very important for surgeons and plumbers are very important for the taking care of the needs of society as well. So a guy has to follow his heart, sounds a little airy-fairy, but the reality is getting in touch with oneself, what you really value
00:14:13
Speaker
whether it's the heart of the mind, getting in touch with what you really value and then going in the that direction is the most important thing. And to answer your question about how does he test himself, I think the test is inherent. um it's It's about making sure that you're in alignment with what you believe is the right thing for you to do as compared to just kind of going with the wind and being really ah ambiguous in life, not really sure what you want to do. We have a crisis of that right now with teenage children leading millions of children with social media accounts. No life experience influencing as influencers, but nothing of substance. So find your substance and go in that direction, whatever the path is to trades or to universities.
00:14:58
Speaker
Find your substance. I like that. that's ah That's a good catchphrase. Find your substance. you know, powerful, very powerful. So, you know, I think finding your substance is important, but I think a man can test himself on his way to finding his substance. I think one of the things a man ought to do is try shit. He's got to try shit. When he doesn't know what he's doing yet, he's got to try shit.
00:15:33
Speaker
Right. Fell forward. i yeah My oldest son is 18. He just graduated high school. um He played soccer at a very high level throughout school. And he decided last year, in his final year, that he didn't want to do so soccer anymore. I was shocked. i think I thought this kid could go pro in Europe. like That's how good he was. And still is, as a matter of fact. But he told me, he said, look, I don't want to do this.
00:16:01
Speaker
i want to go get my kinesiology degree. I want to work in, you know, body health and all that stuff. And I'm like, Oh, fuck, I got to try and change his mind. But after a while, I realized that that wasn't going to happen. And it wasn't my job. And I needed to let him make his own mistakes. So he started working at a fitness company that I was a client of. A couple years ago, I got really good shit, but I decided to I decided to take it on because I was 227 and I dropped down 169 in six months and now I'm on a bodybuilding path, et cetera. So my son ah did a few workouts with the but the owner of the company and he yeah and that guy got along and he hired him. He hired him for the summer.
00:16:54
Speaker
and offered to ah work with them full time. And my son said to me, I don't want to go to university. I want to work. Let me take a year off and I'll work and then we can revisit it. But I don't even think I want to go to university anymore. I think I just want to work. And 30 years ago, I would have said, fuck that. You're going to university. But right now, I actually think this is the best thing you could do. If you went to university,
00:17:20
Speaker
He'd be going to a Canadian university, which has been infected by the woke mind virus. So he's gonna be ah at the influence of these people. They're gonna try to indoctrinate him, which I don't want. Secondly, um he's probably gonna party a lot. Good looking boy, very confident young man. Girls throw themselves at him. He'd probably party more than I'd like him to. So now instead, he's working seven days a week. He's up at 5, 5.30 every day.
00:17:51
Speaker
It's almost like an apprenticeship, and he's found his substance.
00:17:57
Speaker
you know He's not making a lot of money right now, but he's 18 years old, bringing in $2,000, $3,000 a month. And I think within a year or less, you'll be bringing in seven, eight to $10,000 a month, 19 years old, making six figures. What's wrong with that? You want something he loves? Right, exactly. That's the key. Finding his design. He's realigning and he's shifting like you're talking about. There's a little pivot here, a little pivot there as he gets closer to discovering what he wants. You know, he's 18 years old and I know men that are in there.
00:18:33
Speaker
30s and even 40s that are less masculine than he is. you know He's taken on his life, his success.
Success, Happiness, and Family
00:18:45
Speaker
And I look at myself and I just wonder, hey man, how successful are you really? I'm not making the amount of money that I thought I'd be making. I do i do all right, but I want to be making tens of millions. I'm going to just be honest.
00:18:57
Speaker
ah hu You know, and i've I've often wondered, hey, does that define my success? I mean, for me, I definitely want to make a shit ton more money. And that's high on my list. So it's important to me. But then I look at the kind of young men that I'm raising and I go, yeah, I did all right. I raised a man. I didn't raise a pussy. I raised a man. Yeah. So right from that point of view, I can say,
00:19:27
Speaker
I'm successful. That's a fundamental concept is, you know, the second generation the generation that follows us is more important than we are. That's how I've looked at it for a long time. And obviously I'm not a young man. ah This is not dyeing my whiskers. This is just plain old gray hair. And we, I believe our families are our families. Human beings are the greatest treasure. It doesn't really matter how much I acquire from myself. That does not, like you said, measure me. I define success as healthy and happy.
00:19:56
Speaker
And that sounds like a cop-out to some people. But then when I coach people, if I were coaching you, doing impact coaching with you, I'd say, okay, you want to make tens of millions? so Why? I do this a-wah-wah thing we do, hashtag A-W-A-W-A. Ask why, ask why again. Why? So my mentors taught me, like, for example, I use a a real specific example of a female who was very successful in a startup. She built a startup.
00:20:20
Speaker
um And it's one of the you know ranks to riches story She made an app and the app went boom and she sold it for two million dollars or whatever And then she's talking to my mentor and said He said what do you want to do next? She said because she was thinking about hiring him and he said um I'm thinking about letting you hire me not saying you can Why do you want to make four million dollars? That was her question. I mean that was his that was her goal So I want to make four million bucks because I made two million bucks. He said but why I said because um Because I've already done 2 million, I want to make 4 million. That's my next logical goal, kind of like me when I retired. I went to defense contracting and I became a defense contractor and a red team analyst and traveling guy that would attack US bases, find the gaps and tell the commander what to what to want to reinforce.
00:21:07
Speaker
Then I went to become a program manager. Then I went to become an executive. And all those, I guess, 10 years was sort of like a death for me, I guess, seven or eight years. I had a crisis, a crisis of existence that said, what the fuck am I doing here? i'm just I'm doing what they want me to do. I'm doing what others have done and said, you got to become a contractor, then a PM, then an executive. and I realized I was on a wrong course for me. as Stephen Covey says again, careful about so climbing the ladder of success and finding out it's leaning against the wrong wall. So this chick, this woman ah said, well, I want to make more because I can make more. He said, I know you can make more and I won't, I won't let you hire me. This, this discussion is over unless you find a real meaning.
00:21:50
Speaker
She said, what are you talking about? He said, listen, if I do nothing, you're gonna make 4 million bucks. That's what you do. You've already proven that. There's 50 coaches out there that want you to hire them and give you all give them all your money to do what you're automatically gonna do. Why do you want it? What do you need? what is What is the substance of that? And she started examining it and then she started crying and said, I don't want other women to have to feel like they don't matter like I did.
00:22:18
Speaker
I want other women to be, a I want to be an example and help them grow according to my model. And he said, now we have something we can work on because she really realized what the substance was. I i focus on helping transform human beings into their design, you know, like your son finding his design one wiggle at a time.
00:22:37
Speaker
And what really what success is, is saying, you know what, I'm in a place of happiness with my life. I don't intend to stop now. I'm almost 60, and I'm gonna go for another 60. That's my plan right now. We'll see how much I accomplish.
00:22:50
Speaker
so that I keep living, but I live in a fulfillment that is not based on the arbitrary call you know zeros and commas, but saying, how are
Money as a Life Tool
00:22:57
Speaker
my kids? Are my kids thriving? Because if they are, and I'm there for them like you are for yours, then they're on the right path, and that means I'm on the right path. And there's more to it than that, but it's a good example of other than wealth. Yeah. Look, Rob, I'm ah um a man who's done a lot of self-development, a fuck ton,
00:23:17
Speaker
um My father, um before he passed away, was in in Iran at the age of 18. He took up transcendental meditation. He did it all his life until he passed away at 81.
00:23:31
Speaker
um I've been a leader in programs like Landmark, Sterling men's work. um I've done NLP master practitioner NLP. I've got a master's degree from Georgetown U. I graduated near the top of my class. I got an IQ of 160. I read a hundred books a year. i'm I'm dialed in with who I am and what I want out of life.
00:23:54
Speaker
But I want to make money. I want to make money. I mean, no apologies for it. And I think folks who say, well, you know, you you shouldn't want to make money. That's bullshit. I want to make money. Yeah, I agree. There's no reason not to.
00:24:08
Speaker
Yeah, there's no reason not to, number one, but there's reason for it. And I don't also don't feel the need to go. Yeah. And this is one of the things that drives me crazy about the the modern heart-driven movement. And I'm a heart-driven man myself, but it just drives me crazy is they' ah their virtue signaling.
00:24:24
Speaker
They're like a bunch of leftists. They're virtue signaling. Look at me. I'm not a racist. i'm ah I'm not driven by money. Fuck you. Of course you're driven by money. Everybody on the planet is driven by money. Because without money, it's like saying, I don't believe in oxygen. Saying I don't believe in money is like saying, I don't believe in fucking oxygen. yeah I believe in oxygen. I'm a fan of oxygens. okay And I'm a fan of monies. And I want money. And I want a lot of money. I want a lot of money for myself. I want a lot of money to be able to look after the people that I love in my life. exactly And I want a lot of money just fucking because.
00:24:53
Speaker
No explanation, no reason. I don't need to tell you why, I just want it. yeah you know and And I don't have a problem with that. And like I said, I've done okay with my money. I just want a lot more of it. And one of the things I realized when I dropped 58 pounds is I'm playing small. I'm doing less than I'm capable of doing. I let my myself get fat and stay fat for years. I'm done with that. Never gonna be fat again. I'm gonna be slim and trim and muscular for the rest of my life. I'm 57 years old right now, you know? that's That's my deal. And with money, I'm gonna keep working. I'm gonna keep doing shit I love. I love what I do. I coach people too. I coach coaches mostly. Michael Osterling who introduced one of my clients. right
00:25:43
Speaker
Right. You know, I love coaching coaches. good Good men and women. Nothing makes me happier than doing that. Well, you're transforming them. You're getting that experience for yourself is the reward that we have when help other people change. 100%. Because that's a sense of meaning.
00:26:00
Speaker
And I think you zoomed in too on the on the on the substance. When you talk about money, a lot of folks are like, I want to have money for the sake of having money, but there's money is a fantastic tool and you can travel, you can make sure your kids are taken care of, but I'm sure you're probably not the kind who wants to spoil the kids and make them dependent on you like you're a big tit.
00:26:21
Speaker
So you're you're actually teaching them by example how to build, how to how to create, how to accomplish, and how to make a difference. That's the key, making a bigger difference internally and externally with my family and beyond. We talk about five rings. Five rings is self-love, homework, and life. So myself is this, and I got to develop this like you talked about. You're ah you're a so you're a poster child for personal development, or we call it whole person development.
00:26:46
Speaker
Beyond the the self is the home, or sorry, the love, and that's your primary relationship, your your wife. Beyond that is the home. All these have healthy boundaries. the The home is those kids and the closest family and friends, and beyond that is work and beyond that is life, all others. And if we are focusing on ourself first, without being selfish but self-aware, self-honoring, what we're doing is we're preparing ourselves to radiate this riches and benefit to all other people, and closest first.
Contribution and Family Responsibilities
00:27:18
Speaker
No, I like it. The five rings is good. It reminds me of Miyamoto Musashi in his book of five rings. That was not an accident. I've got my swords right up, right over there. My staffs are right over there. I've been a Japanese practitioner for about 40 years.
00:27:36
Speaker
hi Very, very nice. Very nice. Made in Missoula, Montana, but hey, what the hell? Hey, that's that's a tool. It's a tool for not to go out and be a hero on the battlefield, but a tool to honor and train the self, right? You use it, you become more and more focused. yeah You know, the best thing I ever heard about sharpening and becoming a better weapon is, ah that you know, as I talk about contribution, ah we we want to make a difference. That's what a man wants to do, is make a difference in the world. Not to neglect the family like I have done in my life when I was pursuing fame and fortune as a SEAL. I was changing the world, but my my charity begins in the home. So I had to come back and say, listen, how do i it's it's hard to be there and present on a daily basis with homework and poopy diapers and and vomiting and you know long nights with no sleep. But that's the true heroism as far as I'm concerned, is serving where you are,
00:28:32
Speaker
and having kind of like a five and 25 in the military. Before we disembark it out of a vehicle ah on ah on a potentially roadside bomb area, we look in the immediate five ring, five meters, what's around us, disturbed earth, a little wire, a strange goat that shouldn't be dead right there.
00:28:49
Speaker
Because these are IEDs. So five meters first. OK, cool. It seems safe. Now we scan to 25 meters and look out for a guy behind a wall with a little cell phone or a door garage door open or something's going to clack off and kill us. So five and twenty five is the immediate, the near and the far. And if we have our eyes on both parts of our life, those that are close to most important and also how we can make a difference in the world, that's fulfillment, as I understand it.
Closing Thoughts on Masculinity
00:29:16
Speaker
Rob, I really enjoyed the conversation and I definitely want to have you back and on my business show as well. ah it's It's always um fascinating when I get to speak to a ah member of the of the warrior community because men who have been warriors at an innate level embody masculinity and manhood and always have something valuable from their life experience that they bring to our listeners. So I'm grateful that you came. Thank you for revealing your wisdom to the rest of us. And I love your five rings. I love that it's derived from Miyamoto Musashi's book of five rings. I think that's very special. And what you said
00:30:03
Speaker
find your substance is a powerful catchphrase. And i I'm really grateful that you came up with that because I think this is something that more men need to hear and understand. And it's not just young men that needs need to find their substance, it's all men. Absolutely. All men.
00:30:21
Speaker
We have men our age who are drifting right now. How do we help them anchor to something of substance? First, themselves. Second, to the immediate around them, then the relationship, a guy you can trust. You talked about the mask. I really appreciate that because we don't want to reveal everything.
00:30:38
Speaker
At the same time, we don't want to be stunted and retarded, and I don't mean retarded in ah in a rude way, I mean retarded in our development. We need to be out there, get out there and be strong and be present and be vulnerable, all in the right measures to be a strong man.
00:30:54
Speaker
Amen. Amen. Again, vulnerability is one of those words like safe spaces that I have i have issues with, but the meaning of it is absolutely. Yeah. Know when to open yourself up. And I, and and I get that because vulnerable, fuck, I don't want to be vulnerable. I want to be strong. i want to be terrible No, not at all vulnerable, but open to the right people, 100%. Yes, exactly. I went to a number of prisoner of war schools. I was beaten, I was starved, I was frozen, I was locked in little metal boxes, so they'd make me ready for whatever should come should the enemy get their hands on me. And they talk about the supple willow and the mighty oak in our resistance training. You have to be able to flex.
00:31:33
Speaker
the The mighty oak can say, fuck you, I'm not gonna tell you anything when you're under interrogation. The mighty oak will break. When enough pressure is attacked against that mighty oak, it will snap. The supple willow will bend and bend and bend and say, I'm not gonna tell you well, maybe I'll tell you a little bit and I'll tell you a little bit and you and then the pressure relieves and it bounces right back. We can be resilient in that way, but if we're rigid, too rigid, too locked in our self-consciousness, like what old people think of me, then we're gonna break. We're fragile in that strange, strong way. that's ah That's a good way to end the episode. I appreciate it. Right on. Rod Dubois, thanks for coming on the show. God bless everybody. I appreciate this, Nicky. Thank you. Have a groovy day. You too. Thank you for listening to The Sovereign Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and become the man you've always wanted to be, we invite you to join the movement at sovereignman.ca.