Introduction to Shitbird Month and Hosts
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back. We're kicking off ship bird month. How what was I gonna say? sorry yeah yeah like you could have super both a Welcome back we're kicking off it it matters a little
00:00:16
Speaker
Welcome back. We're kicking off Shitbird Month. Good God, I can't talk. Do you want me to try? No, I got it. It's a matter of it's a point of pride at this point. You have none. Welcome back. We're kicking off Shitbird Month with a CGI bang. I'm Ninja Derek Zord. I'm Whitney. It's morphin' time. I've always wanted people. No, we didn't do that part. All right, good.
The Movie's Flawed CGI and Power Rangers Nostalgia
00:01:13
Speaker
You guys. That's going to let you know how this movie went, by the way. The beginning of this fell apart and it's fine. Welcome to bad movies, worse people. No, it's morphin' time, dude. You're morphin'. Morphin'. I fear change. I said it's morphin' time, so people know it's bad movies, worse people. That's true. You know what sucks? This movie starts okay. It does. This movie starts good. um I'll let Derek get to the tail of tape before I start kind of getting into it. I guess that doesn't matter. I mean it does it starts out it's It's it's actually pretty entertaining. I mean it's stupid. It's the Power Rangers somebody's doing skydiving I know it's not them, but there are people doing it. Yeah, there's that I mean most of this movie is actually not that bad It's the end that makes it oh
00:01:58
Speaker
the overuse of terrible CG, like not even passable for the time. You had mentioned when you saw this in theaters that you were pissed off then, which is what, 95? Yeah. I mean, dude, we're four years away from Phantom Menace, and it's beyond where this is. These are last Starfighter level CGI graphics, and that's bad. Anybody who, somebody out there is going, Starfighter rules, and that's fine. It does rule. It does fucking rule. But look at the CGI in it. It's bad. Yeah. I talk about movies that sometimes might benefit from a remake. Last Starfighter might be up there. Yeah, it could. Because the technology is there to make it look the way that somebody wanted it to. You know what this stuff in here looks like? It's like that old game Battlezone with the vector graphics, but then they just painted over the vector part. This looks like... What's your vector, Victor? Sorry. This looks like an Apple screensaver is fighting a fucking Windows wallpaper screensaver. It's terrible. Yeah.
00:02:56
Speaker
and they have the little toys. I've watched the show. Yeah. I think they're called models and costumes. I also watched it as a track. Let's talk about the Zord in the room. Derek is a huge fan. You know how I know this, Whitney, besides the fact that he's wearing a shirt, besides the fact that he's wearing a hat, besides the fact that he has a 4K of this. How do you know? It's only Blu-ray. He's humming the fucking song while it's on. He wasn't just singing it. You guys, I got goosebumps when that song kicked in. When with the Zords were were're forming into the Ninja Megazord, it looked like shit, but I got goosebumps when the song kicked in. I don't often get to make fun of somebody for this, but you are a fucking nerd. Do you know how I know? Because you're married to him. Because he also has the board game.
Derek's Power Rangers Fandom
00:03:39
Speaker
yeah i heard i i will say the board game is fun that's cool i have a back when they had all of the power rangers shows on netflix which they don't anymore i created i wanted to watch them but i didn't want to fuck up my netflix profile so i just created a separate profile called power rangers legit and i had all the power rangers shows on that And then when they took them off, it turned into bad movies. Where's people profile? I don't want to. OK, that makes my roots are showing. I kind of want to see what the fucking Mighty Morphin Power Rangers algorithm would be. It was weird. ah Kindergarten Cops showed up on it. Yeah, it was really weird because I was only watching those shows. So yeah there's a lot of shows. Obviously, there's a lot of like Disney, and Nickelodeon, that stuff. We're probably not Disney. Well, it was 2020 at the time. in my opinion yeah I don't know. Disney Plus wasn't around yet, but.
00:04:26
Speaker
A lot of kids' shows and stuff. Then it started putting on movies, and yeah, there was like kindergarten cop and stuff was on there. It's like, I don't know. What what do you want to watch? Netflix is like, baffled. We don't get you.
Paul Freeman's Iconic Roles
00:04:38
Speaker
um I do want to talk about the brightest shining spot of this movie, oh Ivan News. And welcome back to the show, at least for our Patreon as well. ah The actor's name you have? oh Yeah, Paul Freeman. Paul Freeman. He played ah Reverend Shooter in Hot Fuzz, which we covered during Mental Health Month for Patreon. And the biggest thing I think most people know him from is Belloc.
00:05:02
Speaker
from Indiana Jones, the Raiders of the Lost Ark. He's the opposite Indiana Jones. Yeah, he's the German. Is he German? I think he's British hanging out with the Germans. He was a secret Nancy. He's a secret Nancy. He just worked for him for money. But, dude, he's doing work here. I mean, he's got this, like, Southern accent. He's in full makeup. This guy could easily just show up and be like, I don't fucking care what I'm doing here, dude. I got paid. When they first started showing what Oscar Isaac was going to look like in X-Men Apocalypse, that was the memes all over the place. It was like, it's just Ivanoos. And then, yeah, yeah, they're not wrong.
00:05:39
Speaker
But yes, so this movie, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, the movie, by the way, for those who don't know what we're talking
Movie Background and Budget Insights
00:05:45
Speaker
about. Not Power Rangers from a few years ago, not Turbo from a few years after this. ah Don't worry about it. This movie came out in 1995, it's rated PG, which I feel like it should be higher just because this is violence. I guess all ah the guts are not though. The shapes of vaginas alone. Dude, that girl. Yeah, that dulcea. She should make this movie. piece She's dressed very red. Sonya. Yeah. But I mean, we're seeing a lot more red than we are. Sonya, if you know what I'm talking about, dude, she is more scantily clad than red Sonya. Yes. We what you're saying so see the you know how us women can see the V on the guy. Sorry. Is that Brigitte Nielsen?
00:06:27
Speaker
Do a Red Sonja? Possibly. That's Brigitte. I believe so. Yeah. But yes, go on about the V's. We can see it. We call it the woman V. ive we've yeah the new There is literally a shot where you're looking at the side of her vagina. Like if she didn't shave it, from you would have seen hair. Oh, yeah. You guys have to have two hairstyles for this. Is it a landing strip or nothing? But it's directed by a guy named Brian Spicer, ah who directed a lot of TV like 62 different TV shows, including it shows like he did the big chunks of Parker Lewis can't lose. ah He did pretty much all of the lone gunman, which was that X-Files spinoff. Yeah, he did a lot of Castle Hawaii Five-O and Magnum P.I. reboots, stuff like that. But movie wise, he made McHale's Navy. Wow. OK. Soft spot in my heart for that movie. And he made ah For Richer or Poorer.
00:07:21
Speaker
Wait, hold on. Kirstie Alley and fucking Tim Allen is Amish. Yeah, they're playing Amish people. Yeah. All right. Oh, they're really Amish or they're pretending to be right. I think they're pretending. Yeah. They go i either go bankrupt or. get caught embezzling or something happens like that. ah Tim Allen gets arrested ah for selling cocaine. ah He doesn't sell out all of this. yeah And he has to go into hiding as an Amish man. It's the same people that produced a Sister Act, but it's called Mr. Act. Got it.
00:07:56
Speaker
Uh, but yeah, so I mean, this guy did stuff. Yeah. Nothing I give a shit about. And the writer, Arnie Olson, or Arne, I don't know. Oh, I didn't know they needed a writer for... Yeah. Ha! Then you come in, you go... Someone had to write all these quips. True. Talk about a splitting headache. Dude, this is... I don't know why I did it as a Ninja Turtle, but... You're right. You're right to do this. Because he was a Ninja Frog. This is what it's like hanging out with me when I'm drunk, isn't it? Like, just, this dude won't shut up with these fucking puns. 8-ball corner in pocket. Bitch, it was straight on the wall. He wrote quite a few things. I wrote down the two that stuck out to me. He wrote Red Scorpion. Okay. Which is Dolph Lundgren. Is it him or Rucker Howard? It's Dolph Lundgren. Yeah, it's Dolph. Because Red Scorpion, Russia. Yeah. And a cop and a half.
00:08:45
Speaker
Love that fucking masterpiece. And maybe Cop and a Half 2 or whatever it was called. There was a second one? There was a second one? Yeah, it came out like 2017. It has Lou Diamond Phillips. Oh, I was about to be really upset. I'm delighted. I'm not sure because it said based on characters by, but then it also said story by. So I don't think he wrote the screenplay. I think he just came up with like the treatment. OK, well, I might have to check that out, though. Yeah, I don't know what it's called. Cop and a Half 2 sounds wrong. It can't be the name of the movie. Cop and a Fool. ah to two cops They're all grown up. There's nothing clever about it. Two cops. One cop.
00:09:21
Speaker
It's a cop and a two cop one cuff. Sorry. Go on. You know what? This is one of the more successful movies we've discussed, guys. Really? Yeah. I mean, outside of Tim Allen, he's going to show up if you keep doing outside of like Michael Bay movies. This is I mean, for what we talk about, movie costs 20 million dollars, which explains the CG. Yeah, because most of that went to this fucking soundtrack. Yeah. did Oh, we're in trouble. I can go the rest of my life without hearing that. Oh, guess what? It's going to be your ringtone now. Oh, well, I'm not going to call you when I'm around you, so. No, it'll be the callback. Remember when you used to be able to put songs when somebody calls you? That was a stupid thing from like the arts. Huh? Yeah. Can we do it again? I know, right? Instead of hearing ring, ring, you get to hear a ringtone. I would just keep calling you. I would hate that, because I would be calling people and it would literally be like, uh oh. They're like, I don't have to listen to it. Oh, I just have yours be powered. Why are you calling me? Jeffrey, always call me.
00:10:17
Speaker
But it made 66 million dollars. So I mean, and not that is a good that is a good chunk of money back, though. Yeah, not blockbusters for what we're used to. no But that's a nice profit back. I bet you it had a really good opening because I know I went in salt and theaters like I did. I'm not the biggest. I'm not the biggest Power Rangers fan. So here's the thing. There's a like what? Three, two, three. years You're you're 39 in 1995. I'm about to be 39. I was born in 85. So there's like a three or four year discrepancy between me and Derek. I said this jokingly, but it's also true. I was like, I didn't watch baby shit. I watched X-Men. Like I was watching a cartoon about mutants judging people like Derek for three, four years younger than me because I had kids in my class to that watch it. I'm like, what do you mean you watched that fucking stupid live action bullshit? That was just after school. Fox, man, you get home from school. It's Power Rangers, X-Men, Batman, the animated series, ah eke the cat.
00:11:10
Speaker
I love everything you've said except one so far. I don't remember Eek the Cat. I remember it was on. There was also that Louis Anderson show. Let's go get our our girlfriend Annabelle. Something like that. What was it, Life with Louis? Was that the one where he was a cartoon? Did he jack off in front of plants? Different Louie Anderson. Oh, God, thank God. It was where a little Louie Anderson was a little kid, but I remember one line, and he's like, what do you feed? He had a giant fish, and someone's like, what do you feed your fish? I don't know, the usual chicken, donuts, cheesecake. That's all I remember from that fucking cartoon, man. I just remember Louie Anderson as a little baby looking terrifying.
Original Cast Changes and Tribute to Jason David Frank
00:11:45
Speaker
Yeah. Because he looked they made him look just like Louie Anderson, but like two feet tall. they Dude, Louie Anderson is a big baby. Rest in pictures. I liked Louie Anderson plenty.
00:11:53
Speaker
Did he die? Oh yeah yeah, a long time ago. No, not a long time ago. yeah No. This keeps happening. Two years to the most. No. Yeah. um What else was there? Oh, ah Bobby's World. that's another Oh, I love that one. Oh, Bobby, don't you know? Oh, Bobby. Oh, Dan Nair, now don't you know, Bobo?
00:12:11
Speaker
Louis Anderson, come on down. January 21st, 2022. Okay, so two years ago, you're right. I'll never doubt you again. Well, about death. Well, speaking of dying. Are you morbid? Are you like my mother? She reads the obituaries every day. I don't read the obituaries. I just, I don't know. I remember when people I like die. Oh, okay. For the most part. Now, speaking of people dying, we're going to meet the Power Rangers here as they're about to skydive. And no, they don't die here, but one of them's dead. Yeah. That's like, wait, where are we going with this? Actually, more than one Power Rangers dead, but the other ones in this movie, only one is dead. So three returning from the show. Yes. And three replacements. So we've got, they're all about to skydive, but I'm going to go through them and you guys are going to listen to it because you're listening to this podcast. Just sit there and take it. So the three new ones, we have Aisha, who's played by Karen Ashley, who pretty much did Power Rangers.
00:12:59
Speaker
um And I'm going to tell you their ages. I wrote down their ages because there's this is shitbird month. It's supposed to be about little shitbird kids, which is supposed to be high school, right? But these are supposed to be high schoolers. So so i'm I'm sure just before you move on, I'm sure she has like a stunt or fighting background because um'm I'm just going to give this movie the only credits I can when when I can. The fighting doesn't look terrible. no Like, yeah, it's sped up and it's got that stupid like punching paper sound. Yeah. But it's not. Slow and clunky. It's good. See, I don't even notice the sound effects and stuff because it's just like that's what Power Ranger fighting sounds like. I know, but I haven't seen it in fucking forever, dude. But so she was 20 when this came out. And we have Adam played by Johnny Young Bosch, who's the the new Black Ranger. She was the new Yellow Ranger. ahha He's the new Black Ranger. He was 19 when this came out. So he was probably 18 when they were filming it. So he's he's the one that might have been. He was a derbal. He might have been in high school. He's also
00:13:54
Speaker
pretty much the only one besides Amy Jo Johnson, who did anything else that wasn't Power Ranger related. But he mostly did voice acting and video game stuff. He was in Bleach as Ichigo, who I guess is a main character because he was in a lot of it. He's in the Old Republic. Star Wars, the Old Republic as Torian Kadera. Does that mean anything to you? No, Old Republic or Knight to the Old Republic? I just said the Old Republic. So I think it might be a cartoon. but No, that's the MMO. Oh, OK. And what is MMO? I'm asking about a star's mass multiplayer online. That's a that's a video to work. So there's there's Kotor, which is Knights of the Old Republic, which is a single player story driven game. And then there's Star Wars, the Old Republic, which is just a World of Warcraft. Yeah. Like everybody's online at the same time. Wow. You know, you need like 30 people here, yada, yada. It's nerd shit. the I know those brother did wow a lot.
00:14:46
Speaker
OK. Wow. Think of like wow. Wow. With Star Wars star. Wow. Wow. But the important ones that he did, I say important because they're important to me. He was Vash the Stampede in Trigon, which is important to me. English translation, which is what I watched. Come at me. He was Toji in the ancient Genesis Evangelion, the English one again. Come on. And he was Kaneda in Akira. OK. So damn, some chops. Yeah. Wow, he would have young to literally know nothing. Yeah, well, it was the English dub, so maybe it was a little later, but a little bit later still, but yeah that's been available for a while. Yeah, I don't know when that came out in the US like in an English dub.
00:15:27
Speaker
I mean, I was watching it. Probably in the 90s. I was going to say in the 90s. Yeah. So then we have Rocky, who's the new Red Ranger, played by Steve Cardenas, who was 21. Rocky was 21. Rocky was 21. And he's the worst of the replacements. So the original ones for the people that were replaced was Trini Tran, who I don't remember the name of the actress. I feel bad. She was the Yellow Ranger. She died in a car accident. So that's why they replaced her. I do remember that. Zach was the Black Ranger, Walter Jones, maybe.
00:15:59
Speaker
No one cares. Could be making it up. ah He was a ah black gentleman who played the Black Ranger. u And Trini was an Asian woman playing the Yellow Ranger. So they they switched that up. Yeah, that's that's the other Zord in the room. du It's like, hey, we can't have a black guy play the Black Ranger. We can't have an Asian person play the Yellow Ranger. Switch them. Oh, we can't have a white guy play the White Power Ranger. Right. And then Jason Scott Lee, maybe or Jason something. I don't know. He was the Red Ranger. Jason's his real name. Jason Scott Lee is the Jason. Jason is his name on the show. His real name is he's got three names. They've all got three names. Because isn't Jason Scott Lee the guy that did the Bruce Lee story that's not related to him? Probably. He also said did a live action Jungle Book. I could be wrong. while but I didn't write these down. I'm just going off memory. So Jason is Jennifer Jason Lee. Jennifer Jason Lee was the Red Ranger. But the the two of the Red Ranger and the Black Ranger didn't come back because they wanted more money.
00:16:55
Speaker
And they were told no. They were also replaced on the show. It was a big thing. There was a bunch of behind the scenes turmoil. These actors were treated like shit. They weren't paid. like They were not paid. They've all come out and said like, except for Tommy, he never said anything. But because he worked with them until he was until he died. Tommy and oh and Tommy, of course, where you said tragically killed himself. Yes, he committed suicide last year while he was on tour doing like conventions and stuff. What a bummer, man. I mean, just never did anything besides this. Maybe that got to him. He did Power Rangers forever and he was super into it. like They actually he did say he would do it until the day he died. There was a like a like a kind of a dark fan film reboot thing that was done. I remember this little short. Really cool. It had a ah fuck. Starbuck. Oh, I just said her name. Katie Sack. Katie Sack. Thank you. Had her and it had Dawson.
00:17:46
Speaker
ah which's what James vander Vanderbeek. Yeah, James Vanderbeek. And ah he and Tommy, they asked um Jason David Frank, who's Tommy, to do it. And he didn't want to do it because he didn't want to piss off Haim Saban and then lose his place in the Power Rangers world. Makes sense. I mean, he knew where his bread and butter was coming from because he was actually getting it then. Well, he worked with it for so long. I mean, even if he wasn't on the shows, he's going to conventions and stuff and getting paid, you know, getting paid for doing autographs, getting paid for doing appearances. That's where your money comes from from shit like this. Yeah. He actually has a movie coming out ah that he had made before he died. They had to do some reshoots. So we'll see how that goes. Called Legend of the White Dragon. So it's basically a Power Rangers movie, but it's not Power Rangers America. I did the I did back it on Kickstarter like four years ago. So one day a little materialized. So we'll see and we'll watch it.
00:18:38
Speaker
So then we have Kimberly, the Pink Ranger, played by Amy Jo Johnson, who's 25 at this point. So yums. She was in other stuff, though. She did a movie called Susie Hugh, which I watched when I was younger, purely because Amy Jo Johnson was in it. And I was in love with her. She started a lot of crushes, boy and girl. I mean, definitely Pink Ranger was getting it at a very age appropriate. I mean, even now you said she's 25. Yeah. But even on the show, I was much younger when she when I first saw her I was like, oh, Oh, it's like ah Georgia the Jungle. That fella's got some bumps, I like. It's just is a strange looking fella. When I looked up her age, I told Whitney, I was like, apparently I've always liked girls that were a few years older than they were supposed to be, because she was twenty five. so So the show was like ninety three, I think is when it started. Oh, really? Yeah. So she wasn't much younger, but she did the Susie Q. She was on Felicity for a while there and she did the show called Flashpoint. That was like a big, I think, ABC show. I saw Flashpoint.
00:19:34
Speaker
Had like 70 some odd episodes. yeah I couldn't care but she's done a bunch of shit and back to people who only did Power Rangers Billy the Blue Ranger played by David Yost. Okay guess his age go ahead 40 1,064
00:19:49
Speaker
He's slightly older than Yoda, yes. Dude, he is just, you said his age was like, what, 25? 26, so he's the oldest one.
Challenges Faced by David Yost and Bulk & Skull's Comedic Roles
00:19:57
Speaker
26, but the hardest 26 you'll ever see. He looked 32. And Derek did point out, this dude had lived through the... The 90s being gay. 80s, 90s being gay. Like, that'll age you. Yeah. There was a lot of behind the scenes on the show about cast members and people who worked for the show in general, just giving him a hard time and harassing him for being gay. Yeah. Not cool. He did leave for a long time, but he came back. I know it's still tough out there for a lot of gay people, but it's better. It's much better.
00:20:25
Speaker
And then we also have bulk and skull on the plane who are like the goofy comic relief from the show. They're barely fake Fisher Stevens and fake Otho. Yeah. From Beetlejuice. Actor's name escapes me. I thought, oh, my God, it is him. Yeah. um I never really watched the show. I'm sorry. Hate to burst your bubble. No, no, you were busy. yeah She was busy having sex and doing drugs. It was 95. It was 95 for Christ's sake. I know. Seriously. Jesus. um I thought they were enemies. They are. They're their rivals, but they're also kind of friends because the Power Rangers are like super nice and they don't. They aren't bulk and skull in the show. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're the comic relief from the show and and the diner. They're always in the diner. They spend most of their time trying to. They're either bullying the the various Power Rangers or they're trying to figure out who the Power Rangers are.
00:21:18
Speaker
Oh, and that makes sense at the very end of this when you're like, thanks, Power Rangers. Oh, no, we did it. Yeah, we shaved. god Exactly. Got it. But they're I felt like they were creative for this and I'm i'm happy to be wrong. No, yeah. And it's a Paul Schreier plays bulk and Jason Narvy plays skull. And again, they're still playing these characters to this day. Bulk is the big one, by the way. I didn't know if you knew that. I hope you like fat jokes. Subtle, like, you know, having a piece of pizza in his pocket. ah Was it a piece or a box? ki There's a piece in the box. The piece is one whole pizza.
00:21:53
Speaker
Exactly. So I have a note here about why those three weren't in it. And I have to apologize. Trini was the Yellow Ranger's name. But ah so the Yellow Ranger was played by someone who Google translations tells me is pronounced Tui Trang Trang. I said Trini Tran. I was mixing up a real name with. Oh, I got you. You're you're doing work, though. I just want to be nice to her. Austin St. John, by the way, is the Red Ranger. So close to Jennifer Jason Lee. He plays Jason, but then the White Ranger is Jason David Frank. So I got Jason Scott Lee. I wish it was Jennifer Jason Lee. Hey, Red Ranger, show your tearouts.
00:22:37
Speaker
ah By the way, most of them also came back to the show at some point. Uh-huh. So when this show starts, they are in their dinosaurs. but that was not the original Zords, was it? Yeah, the original Zords were the dinosaurs. Our dinosaurs, okay. Tyrannosaurus, pterodactyl, same-tooth tiger. And then we're gonna jump all over, I'm sure. At the end of this, there are animals. Did the show adapt to that? Yes. He was saying that they were the animals before the movie came out. It was, yeah, so there was an issue. So the movie went over shooting. They were shooting the season three as they were making this movie, which is where they get the ninja powers, where they get these animals.
00:23:15
Speaker
So this movie is kind of like alternate universe. It's not like canon. Okay. Which is so stupid because you know the people who are gonna see this movie. Yeah, that's what's stupid. That's what's stupid. But the people who are gonna see this movie are the kids who are watching your stupid fucking chop chop show. Uh-huh. So they should know. Chop chop show. I think I watched that cooking show. but it's just it it I remembered annoying me as a kid because I went and watched this movie and then like I went to watch the show and I was like Why are they doing the movie again? Yeah, they do it a little bit of a different storyline, but I bet it has better graphics There's no I have a news and the Zords are puppet men
00:23:51
Speaker
I do. Well, you know, guys in costumes like old school. It always was. Yeah. It's very Godzilla creature stuff. Because I mean, so the show is filmed in like the 70s over in Japan. Right. Yeah. And then we added. So all of them in the suits when they're fighting these big creatures in the show, that's all 70s Japan.
Film vs. TV Storyline Disconnect
00:24:08
Speaker
crack Yeah, then cut to we interject our American actors and it's a it's a couple of different shows and it's over many years like this Super Sentai I think is what it's called. I watched a little bit of the Japanese stuff. It was really weird Made less sense saying something
00:24:23
Speaker
But it's it would it started in like the 70s and it kept going. I think it's probably still going, just like Power Rangers are still going. And they're still just what? Fox Kids or some shit. Go, go Power Walker. I guess Disney X-D now or something. No, they'd power up Fred. Kirken is probably. Oh, go, go Power Rangers. Oh, the kid. cracklin Oh, the kid. Who the fuck's Fred Kirken? No, they have so many different teams. Give me something to break. They had the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and then eventually they did the Turbo Rangers, and then they did the Dino Thunder, and then they did SPD, and they did Lost Galaxy, and they did... Did he just throw in things at me? Like I can fact check him.
00:25:02
Speaker
You can't. I can't. Not this speed. when When you're listening, just pause and check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Overload. Speaking of being a giant nerd, you know what this movie starts with?
Humorous Movie Analysis and Absurd Scenes
00:25:15
Speaker
Oh, a Star Wars scroll. It's just like Star Wars, except for there's some lady talking to us. Oh, yeah. And no John Williams score that we got some fake ass Olsen twins speaking about trouble. It was really funny, though, because when it opened up on the shot with the stars in the sky, I was just about to say a Star Wars movie is about to start. And then the scroll came up and I was like. But yeah, they go skydiving is really seen this movie in a while. No, yeah, it's probably been like 10 years. Yeah, that's a while. I mean, it's been like coming up on 30 years. since We've been together. You've watched this. Yeah.
00:25:49
Speaker
You still married him. It's probably less than 10 years, honestly. Maybe. It was probably like five, six years ago. The last time I watched it, I remember him being like having a real hard time with it. This time I was like, I'm really enjoying this until the end. Yeah. I was expecting to have a lot of trouble with this. I think the last time I watched it, is so it might have only been like four or five years. It might have been while I was watching the show. Yeah, when we were at Edgewood. and Okay. That's like five years ago. Whatever. Five years, 10 years. It's all the same when you're almost 40. Edgewood, you can always go, but you can never come.
00:26:21
Speaker
Of course, Tommy is not just skydiving. He's sky surfing. Oh, extreme. Or isn't it? Because it's the 90s. Boarding? Because it's not a surfboard. It's a snowboard. Yeah, I guess he's like snowboarding in the sky. Somebody took the wheels off a skateboard and strapped it to his feet. Pretty much. Yeah, same thing. He's skyboarding. He's cloudboarding. But they're doing this. Oh, he's a cloud kicker from fucking tailspin. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But they're doing this for apparently a... oh oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oil sonic can you win it if youre gonna get it it go out and go
00:26:56
Speaker
it was like a sneeze i had to let it go
00:27:04
Speaker
Yeah, I think I'm all out, but I do know a place we can go get some more. Let's go to the Oh Arizona Beer House. Arizona Beer House. They have 34 taps. yeah. There's like almost 800 cans and bottles that you can Oh yeah. drink in-house or take to go. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And it's conveniently located at Broadway and Cove, 150 South Cove in Tucson, Arizona. I'll tell you what, I'd tap that. Let's head down to Arizona Beer House right now. Let's go. I'll drive. First pint's on me, guys. All right.
00:27:31
Speaker
Sharks of the Corn? Virus Shark? Cocaine Shark? Shark-topus? Yeah. Those are all real movies. Join me, Steve Coates, as each week I take a comedic look at the bizarre world of Sharksploitation Cinema on Bucket of Chum, the Shark Movie Podcast.
00:27:53
Speaker
They're doing this for a fundraiser for the observatory or something, yeah but you have children jumping out of planes to help raise money. Allegedly high school children. When someone dies, that money is going to their family, not the observatory. you if You're going to get sued out of existence. We're going to raise some funds and we're going to swim with sharks. It was it was a bunch of adults that were doing it. These were the only teenagers jumping because you see all the other parachutists. Yeah. are i old I do love the announcer, though, is like the entire city of Angel Grove knows these guys as they're coming in. They're announcing them. They're giving you all their names. That's what they're doing for this. Right. It's like, look at that. Billy hit the target. And I'm like, nobody knows who these they're. They're high school kids.
00:28:37
Speaker
If you came at me and were like, oh, you know, so and so from that high school over there, I'd be like, no, I don't know. Bullshit. Everyone in this fucking town knows that their power rangers they like they're always together. That dude never doesn't wear blue. That one. She's always in pink. so Why is she so hot? Why is she always in pink? Yeah, they always wear the exact. Why is always together all in white? They're always together. They're always doing extreme stuff like they're rollerblading just through a fucking mall. What is this? Mighty Ducks one. Yeah. Yeah. And I would say like maybe they're just big fans of the Power Rangers, but they've been dressing like this so from the before the Power Rangers existed because in the first episode they're dressed like this before they get their powers. Hey, well, how come you never see them Power Rangers with ah the other five guys that dress like them, huh? I get makes you start to think a little bit. You know what would give it away the most, Tommy?
00:29:24
Speaker
because when he first shows up on the show, he's always wearing green, and he becomes the green ranger. When he changes to the white ranger, he starts always wearing white. I don't know if she's not saying white power ranger. People would be like, you guys you guys saw that, right? Did you notice that there was a green ranger and a guy that wore green? Yeah, what are you getting at? That was a white ranger and a guy that wears white? Yeah, I still don't understand where you're coming from. You know what? I lost my point. Never mind. They're just larping. Do you want to get more boxes of pizza to put in our shirt pockets? Then they start rollerblading after they do their jumpathon because extreme extremes work. I feel like this scene is why I got so much shit for rollerblading. Yeah. Nice. This is just like the world. There's also Brink. What's Brink? You know Brink? but It's a movie. It's really it's that guy with the hair.
00:30:11
Speaker
OK, I'm going to spoil it. So it's not Joey pants. He looks like a guy from the 90s. Yeah. Like ah imagine imagine the kid from ah airborne sidekicks or landis or any of the kids from home improvement. OK, haircut. OK, he's got the Zachary Ty. Yeah. And it was a a movie about it was an extreme sports movie about rollerblading. And I don't remember the story anymore. But I want to say 1998 Disney Channel. You know what? I was having sex and driving cars. I want to say it's got that one that one Mexican guy from Ant-Man. The one who's like, oh, Michael Pena. I think so. yeah Michael Pena. maybe Maybe I haven't seen it in ages.
00:30:53
Speaker
I don't I don't know if he's there is so I'm i'm thinking of the movie airborne with it's another inline skating movie that has Seth Green and Jack Black and some others don't don't go anywhere on that one but that has a that has a Mexican character that reminds me of Michael Pena but it's played by the same guy who played Joker in Friday after next The pass the wire, pass the wire. OK. I'm not going to go to full accent on it. I'm in for it. It doesn't happen. And I lied. I think you're thinking what I'm thinking of. I think I was thinking of. You're also talking to a guy that likes all three Friday movies, but it does have Walter Emanuel. I don't who he was the Black Ranger. Walter Emanuel Jones. Yeah, he was the Black Ranger. Oh, man. OK, so we also saw him in 90210. You're about to get this whole thing cut until you brought it back with that.
00:31:41
Speaker
But I think the storyline in that probably relates similarly to like ski movies from the 80s. Something trying to take a mountain. We have to save the youth center. We have to skate to save the city. But anyway, they're rollerblading to freeride. But it's not the original freeride. No, not the GTO. I'm sorry, but like, I don't know. Slow ride. That's slow. Ride is fog hat. Fuck. Yeah. But so there's the the roller skate right through this fucking construction site. No one gives a shit. Bulk and skull must be that five o'clock skate throw. But then bulk and skull and their parachutes there. And everybody's like, guys, this is a fucking construction site. Sorry. I'm sorry.
00:32:22
Speaker
Crikey, this is a construction site. All right, Mike. We're digging up fossils over here in your fucking squad off and down Fucking it all up in some of the extras here give away that this movie was filmed in Australia Oh Whitney caught it right away cuz the dad at first he's like he's like look he's like hello, son and then this Next was like oh, what's all then? There's something there and he's he's not doing Australia. and He's just trying to hide it. Yeah Yeah, he doesn't hate him at all. He doesn't hate him from America. Alligator. He's just as good as Russell Crowe. Oh. Oh, you mean Russell Crowe? From my homeland of Australia. See, he keeps doing that, and it keeps me confused. I'm going to always do it because you started it. It keeps me confused. But name to call back, Derek. I just saw a thing in my notes that might be why this movie didn't do as well as it could have. Oh? You know what else? You know what came out the same weekend? What's that?
00:33:14
Speaker
Judge Dredd? Oh, yeah. That's where the dads were going. Rated R? Yes. So that's what happened. Because Rated R means that you're going to have to have somebody bring you. Yeah. Like that's a little bit of- And it was the 90s, so you just drop your kids off. That's what I'm saying. They go see Power Rangers, you go watch- Dad wanted to see Judge Dredd, so he's like, give me the neighborhood kids. I'm waiting for them. I'll pop them off in there. In my head now, I have that dad who's like, I'm not watching your stupid fucking show with the kids in the suits and the karate. I'm going to go watch Sylvester Stallone in a suit with the guns and the karate. I'm going to watch Rob Schneider be a scapegoat. I'm going to watch Rob Schneider run a robot on trash or something. He's going to eat recycled food. I don't know. Why are you in Jersey? I don't know, because he's a shitty dad. That's what it sounds like when you're a shitty dad. is that That's exactly what I was going to say. Oh, OK.
00:34:01
Speaker
Hey, I go see a Power Ranger. He's five dollars. ah But so at the construction site, they find a magical manhole cover. Do what would you like? If you saw people parachute into the construction site, I would either think like, do you need help or are we being invaded? This is Red Dawn, Red Dawn. But they do. They're like, well, we're the building inspectors and fucking skulls like, yeah, this building should be over there. What are you doing? Come on. Which is funny because it's like that's preposterous. That happened here in Tucson. Yeah, did it. Yeah. The Walmart that they built over on Houghton. it took ah extra time to build because they did all the underground stuff they did the pipes and the wires and all that whatnot and then somebody came to do inspection they were like this should all be like x amount of feet to the south they had to dig everything up and move it oh but past walmart so much oh god that's what i said i was like that's the greatest thing i've ever heard yes i know it's like a fucking drop in the bucket but yes
00:34:55
Speaker
We're in the green another $4 million. Man, fuck Walmart. We're target people. We're a target family now. So, propane and propane accessories. Oh, here we go. That was my bad. I was trying to push it away and I pooped it. You farted? I pooped it. I pooped it. but so there's a magic manhole cover these guys open it very smartly yeah destruction workers how did they do that by the way how did they get the chains real quick though we all watching it no we wouldn't have fucking touched this never didn't point out you lit these people not us but these people live in a fucking universe where demons and and like Rita Repulsa was hatched from a similar situation on the moon yada yada don't
00:35:36
Speaker
So don't go touch an ancient looking evil
Introduction of Ivan Ooze as a Villain
00:35:38
Speaker
things. Yeah. Don't go touch and trash cans. Do just sit in the bricks and the rocks. It's even worse because once they do pop this hole of man, the three clawed hand comes up holding a man sized purple egg. Yeah. And one of these motherfucking Aussies goes and it's like, I'm going to touch it. And I touch it. By the way, these are the most these construction workers are the wealthiest people in this city. They have to be. How so? Well, because weekly the city is destroyed. oh They have so much work. And they get it done. At a certain point, I think they just start making the buildings out of paper mache, but it's fine. like Easy up, easy down. No, they just willed it to happen.
00:36:18
Speaker
Mm hmm. Yeah. If you believe, if you believe, nothing's impossible there. Rita Lord said Goldar and a hash guy, dude, more more Morton, Morton, Morgana, Morton, Morton, more dong, mordant more dint, more dint, a sidekick they made up for this movie, even though they had a perfectly good squat and babu right there. Yeah. Yeah, say that normally. They had a perfectly good squatting babu. Dude, by the way, a really weird sex move. The old squatting babu. Once you have someone to do that to you, there is no second date after squatting babu. So we're not doing it. Just get some sheets. That sounds like something from the boys. Yeah. Get rid of the old squatting babu.
00:37:06
Speaker
So the Lord Lord Z Z Z Lord Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Yeah, he's skinless. Yeah. And with the metal bikini. Yeah. i Like that kid from the Nickelodeon yeah thing where he flipped over the swing set and went inside out inside out boy. Huh? You don't remember that? No. I remember that. Or was it? Yeah. Was it Nickelodeon? It's inside out boy. Yeah. It was like a claymation thing, I think. OK. I don't know. Maybe it was animated. I think it was animated. I believe it. Yeah. He's got his brain on the outside. He's awesome. Yeah. And the brain is like I think I do remember when he was added to this show. I didn't watch much, but that was a big to do. Yeah. Because Rita Repulsa just kind of got a little stale for everybody. Yeah. And she did the same thing every day. So they brought in Zed. It was the same shit every week. Yeah. It was claymation. OK, that's why I thought not ringing a bell.
00:37:59
Speaker
I think it was like an interstitial thing on like Nickelodeon. Like they had like little adventures of inside out boy and it would be like dumb shit. and Like I don't know. All I can think of in my head. I'm trying to think of a story and I can think of the ones that they've done on like Robot Chicken. ah where It was like horrifying things because he's an inside out boy with his heart on the outside. So it was shorts between commercials on Nickelodeon that ran from 89 to 93. That's what that's the that's the prime years I was watching Nickelodeon. So it makes sense. 89 to 93. Yeah. Yeah. But so they they activate the magic egg. It's full of booger snot. But I have a news comes rising out of it and all of his Oscar Isaac's glory. Yes. All of his apocalypse glory. He is. Actor's name again. ah Paul Freeman Freeman. He is. He is making his money right here. He's got a he's got a southern accent. How do you also he's in a shit. I always do this double.
00:38:51
Speaker
Trouble. Not double trouble. Double team. Double team with Dennis Rodman. Yeah, he's the ah guy from the island that has to. Oh, you're goddamn right. He is. Yeah, you're damn right. Just watched it. I love that movie. That movie is bonkers. Derek text me the best thing ever. He said, I don't know what mixture of drugs went into writing that movie, but they are very desirable. Yes. ah But yeah, so they're asking him I only wrote down this line because of his Like reaction, but it's like do you recall the name Zordon of Eltar? And he just gives us a full-on fucking ah William Shatner here. He's like car
00:39:29
Speaker
with a mixture of unlimited power. He's got some lightning going on. He's shooting lightning. it was Yeah, he does. People are at their house watching TV and they see purple but purple lightning going
Angel Grove's Destruction and Power Rangers Formula
00:39:39
Speaker
but up. Purple lightning. Yeah, that was good. There's a remix. I remember remix. and They see purple lightning going up to the sky and they're like, oh, fuck. What day is it, Jim? All right. Well, we only made it one day this month. Mark it in the calendars. Shit, is it Monday at 4.30? Fuck, we got a half hour of this stuff left. just I imagine somebody just walking by and erasing one of those like days left or days since last incident. like Right zero again. Can we just leave this at zero? I know there's like seven days in between, six days, but like... What's the point? Life has gotten monotonous. In the summer, we can... Oh, they don't have summer break? Oh, no fuck okay.
00:40:21
Speaker
That's it. I'm moving to prime time. But Ivan Ooze knows that the Power Rangers are on their way because they're teleporting there because Zordon told him some shit. Who cares? Yeah. He knows they're on their way because he starts sniffing and he's like, what is that odious stench? Teenagers. And it makes sense. Teenagers? I have an ooze here. That's pretty close. I'm oozy like Sunday morning. Well, that's a good voice for Ivan. I like that. I do. But when they get there, Ivan is disguised as a guard. And you can tell because they have that classic Buffy shot. Oh, I asked out loud. I was like, why is he like sketched in? Yeah, we're just a filter around him. Yeah. For some reason, this shot is all of a sudden a green screen. Oh, because someone's going to transform. Yeah.
00:41:08
Speaker
Cuz they said we're looking for a trans Morphological being a trans morphological being just morphological. Oh just morphological. Yeah, I guess I'm getting like the trans morph cuz he changes Yeah, but but I just like yeah cuz she's like have you seen a morphological being around here? And I'm like, that's not a real word. So don't say it that way There is no security guard. Like, yeah, ma'am, I saw about five minutes ago. He took a left on fifth. I did not see a a morphological being, but I saw an ecto morphicon, which is another word that comes up in this movie. And he's like, oh, you mean like this guy? Oh, you know what they didn't say in this movie that they definitely said on the TV show frequently? More phenomenal, more phenomenal, like phenomenal, but more of it. Well, like and phenomenal. more for thing I like mine. That's more phenomenal.
00:41:55
Speaker
You're going to use that, aren't you? But I love it because Ivan Ooz is talking shit to them and they're like, you don't know who we are. We're the fucking Power Rangers. And just his like, oh, let me get my autograph. Team introduce yourself. Yellow Ranger. Black Ranch like dude, these guys just like tapping his toe like get to the fucking point. They all have to talk with their hands when they do it. So he summons up some ah what I was calling. Well, my stars and bars, you know, he's a confederate, dude. But he sum summons up what I was calling the goop troops. They don't have a name. ah They're made from his loogie.
00:42:30
Speaker
Like little purple creatures with weird like licorice rope dreadlocks. Yeah. Yeah. theres you know if some If Willy Wonka made the predator, yeah this is what's happening. Yeah, exactly. And it definitely almost made your wife vomit. Not this part, the next part where he when he summons the birds. This one, he just kind of summons them from the good ground. don't yeah I'm sure he lugied before they got there. We just didn't see it. He's like, all right, i gotta we're going to surround him. but put Yeah, these ones he just makes for me. Yeah, he talked to his he talked to his the birds. Yeah. But this is where we start to get the beginning of our formula. They fight in their plane street clothes to the song. Action boy now. Action girl. now I thought it was like fucking a baseball where it's a song that they can hear.
00:43:19
Speaker
to a flip he's gonna kick you in the head block to your right or else you'll be dead that's better than what they had much better but punching it all up yes it's the formula I'm sorry I have to if this is the song. So this is Devo. They're fighting to this song. We have to commentate. Otherwise it's stealing. This is Devo. Apparently this is Devo. Okay. Devo did this song before Power Rangers existed. Or they did it for this because the only thing it came up on was this soundtrack. If Devo is doing music in 95 and it's
00:43:57
Speaker
oh I can hear it now. Now that I see Devo, I can hear it. Good God. Anyway. How the mighty have fallen. Well, that was 95. Back to the formula. Do good with your street clothes, but then not good enough. morph into the Power Rangers and do much better. It's the same thing with the vehicles. You get your vehicles, you do good, but you're kind of still losing a little bit. Honestly, trans most of the time, it goes like it did in this movie. We get our vehicles, we're like, all right, we got our Zords. We're going to kick their ass and we immediately get wiped the fuck out and have to immediately turn ah could go into the Zords. So start as Mega.
00:44:35
Speaker
Yeah, you should always just go straight into me. Yeah, that's an option. Yeah. Just to start with mega. Well, you have to summon them all first and then you have to join them. You have to yell out the name of each one. Yeah. So they can come to you and they're extended cum sequence.
00:44:52
Speaker
I come first, you come after me. Knock it off. And then you have to say, Megazord power initiate or whatever, and then they can form together in another extended cum sequence. I'm the Mighty Morphin' Bottom Ranger. I'm the bottom of the Megazord. And then you have to add in Tommy. Okay. Dude, watching that show. Why can't Tommy ever be in it? Because he makes the more powerful. They make the powerful Zord, they get their asses kicked, and then he comes in and he's like, now we got this. Because they existed before he did, like as a mega Zord. Dude, his fucking Falcon thing at the end, if it didn't look so bad, would be dope. The design. The design is fucking dope. And Derek even said, he's like, no, that does exist. Yeah, they have all these. Not CG.
00:45:38
Speaker
watching the show, the TV show, as I was like streaming it. So watching like six or seven episodes in a row. Yeah, it's a solid like every episode is about twenty one minutes. Eleven minutes of that is either morphing, calling Zords or turning into a bigger Zord. Okay. Dragon Ball Z all over again. The storyline is like a solid ten minutes of the show. Uh huh. Wasn't he powering up for like three episodes? Oh, yeah, at least. After a short season. ah Pretty sure ah the guy with the spiky hair there. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. The main guy with the orange and the Goku. Didn't he spend like a whole season running on like a rainbow road highway through space? Okay, I wasn't there for that. Okay.
00:46:19
Speaker
I don't know. I tried watching. I gave up on that before that fucking happened. do they Somebody has like ah or there's like the Dragon Ball Z Kai, which is like the shortened version. It only has 90 episodes instead of 380 or whatever. It cut out the extraneous stuff and they ended up with 210 less episodes or something. Fucking hell. So I tried watching that. I made it to like 35 and I was like, I even still huh? Yeah. Anyway, so they fight. There was a Morphin Vite! There's a great part where Kimberly... Morphin? Say Orphan or Morphin? We never see their parents. Why did you say Morphin? Why did you say Power Rangers? Why did you say Morphin? I didn't, I said Morphin. Oh, carry on, carry on.
00:47:00
Speaker
But there's so there's a part where Kimberly's trying to get away from someone, so she does this multiple back handspring. And then billy's like way Billy's like, I'm coming with you, Kimberly. And he starts doing it too. They're both just back handspringing through this entire fucking thing. There is some fun stuff here, dude. There's a much easier way to get across. I really thought I was going to have to like eat a little crow on this because of how good it started. yeah I was like, oh, I'm having a really fun time. This was really disappointing, though, because we get the first it's morphin time and they do it out of order, by the way. But we won't get into that. He's going to get into it later. Actually, it's supposed to be. No, ah they do their morphin time. And when they come back, it's kind of like a ah sketch comedy thing making fun of the Power Rangers. By the time they come back, the bad guys have left. They're like, yeah we don't have time. Now what? So they're just standing around in these dumb suits.
00:47:49
Speaker
Got all dressed up for nothing. By the way, I have to address stupid people on the Internet. So when the newer Power Rangers movie came out, everybody complained about how stupid their costumes looked. Uh huh. And they are pretty stupid. These don't look that different other than the fact that these are still like motorcycle helmets. They're way more like extra glossy with like, yeah, they have like curves on the padding and there's like joints in it and stuff. They're not just like the. ah ah leotards like Lycra. Yeah, they would wear just like one piece like Lycra suits and then a helmet. And I'm fine with your your show taking like I want it to be a little different. Yeah. But it's it's not good. No, but I just mean like these suits look almost exactly like the ones from the reboot other than the helmets. And everybody was crying and like, why don't you just honor the original? And I'm like, well, they kind of did. They knew it wasn't wasn't the worst thing I've seen. I thought it was fine. Reader of Pulse, it was dope. I bet you. What's her name? Elizabeth elizabeth Banks. Banks was more comfortable. No. Do you know the problem with that though with that movie? Goldar. They morph once. Yeah. That's it? Like the whole movie was just like too much origin story. Let's get the powers. Let's get the powers. And it's like, all right, now we have them. Movie's over. Yeah. That sucked. It's because they were supposed to have a second. I know, but you can't put all your eggs in one fucking basket that's gonna give me fluff only. Dude, don't have the balls to think you're gonna have a fucking sequel. Unless you're- Unless you're- Unless it's Kevin Costner with Horizon Chapter One. Yeah, I don't wanna have to talk to you this way, Kevin Costner. But listen up, dummy!
00:49:15
Speaker
Don't give me all the fluff and for the first one and expect me to go watch the second one. I will. But I mean, I've already seen it. I've already seen it twice. And I saw that. I like it. But I mean, they already made the second one off. Yeah. But yeah, I don't have the balls to think you're going to get a fucking sequel, especially being a reboot. Yeah. And we were supposed to have Tommy in the sequel. Oh, they had it at the end. Robbed. Also, care Jason, David Frank and Amy Jo Johnson have cameos in that. Oh, they do. Oh, anyway. So Ivan is goops into the command center. Oh, nasty.
Ivan Ooze's Chaotic Influence on the Command Center
00:49:50
Speaker
And he tells he's talking shit to Zordon. Basically, he says time to paint a piper, pulls out his Willy Wonka flute, goes and then goes full Jim Carrey from the Oompa Loompas come in and start dancing around. That's Alpha five. Sorry.
00:50:01
Speaker
Oh, I don't know what he do. I've got some ooze and it's trouble for you. I i yeah i was going to go. i yeah I have some. ah But yeah, he does go full fucking Riddler. Yeah. Just start smashing everything. And I love it because Zordon has a floating head in a tube who's like an old guy who's being kept alive by crystals. And Alpha is a dumb little robot. So there's nothing to protect them. Don't mess up my lair. Shouldn't he have like turrets in there or something? Yeah, absolutely. I guess it's hope like you just can't get there. and But he was like, blink, I'm here. Sorry. I'm here. Oh, he didn't blink. He gooped. He gooped. We saw him goop right through those door cracks. Goop and you miss it. This goop dripping out of those cracks, dude. Goop, there it is.
00:50:49
Speaker
love in o let' yeah I'm not going to try to hit that eye note. But so then ah meanwhile, the Rangers are still looking for the gloop troop. ah They have like they show off some special super cool stuff they did for no reason. Oh, yeah. Aisha has lights on her helmet and Rocky. I don't know. I wasn't listening. The fucking power beans or something. Yeah, that sounds about right. For but for the show. I don't know. But they were really dimly lit flashlights as cat eyes. Yeah. And then ah la Rocky has like a visor power visor. Excuse me.
00:51:23
Speaker
Morpho Visor. I don't know on his thing. It doesn't really come to anything. They find the group troop and we get another fight or an actual fight there because that first one was them as people. Now it's superheroes versus group troop. Yeah. And they are just killing these gloopy guys. I hated, hated the moment where they say double whammy to all and they both kick this gloop troop guy on the side of the heads and we get like Roger Rabbit special effects. Yeah, like it's literally an issue with cartoon. It's just fucking trash. Yeah, if you're going to go garbage, CG garbage, CG this because the eyes popping out or like ah
00:51:59
Speaker
ah Christopher Lloyd. Yeah. Christopher Lloyd's eyes. And he talks like this. Double whammy. did it it It got a an audible groan from half of the room. From the entire room. It was bad. And we only get one use in this entire movie right here of Saba. ah Explain Saba real quick to the... I think everybody knows. I don't. Well, just in case. just Hear me out. Just in case people don't know who Saba is. what you I know perfectly who Saba is, but if you tell if you want to tell Whitney who Saba is... You didn't all have one of these as a kid? Yeah, no, tell her. So the white range the White Ranger has the White Tiger sword. He has a... I know two, I know two. He has a sword. A tiger.
00:52:45
Speaker
And he's got... But in the show... Yeah, in the show. Saba is a sassy, back-talking piece of shit. Back-talking piece of shit, dude. But it looks so sassy. Derek, can I finish? Sassy, back-talking piece of shit. What about the eyes? Oh, the eyes are red. Well, they're not, but they shoot lasers. They shoot lasers. They're red and they shoot lasers. So that's how I know about sauna. Saba. But i said I definitely had one of these. I definitely had one of these as a kid. Did you beat beat your brother with it? No, no, you want to break it. Beat his meat with it.
00:53:22
Speaker
yeah It's cheap plastic. It's a Power Rangers toy. But it definitely had buttons where Saba would say shit and his little mouth would move. It was awesome. Anyway, I can't make too much fun of you, though, because I, at this age of my life, still own a Sword of Omens from Thundercats. That gives me sight beyond sight. You have at least one lightsaber. Yeah. So what's different between that and Saba? He's not a light Saba? My lightsaber's not sassy. If he was a light Saba, it'd be better. He was the light Saba of the Force.
00:53:53
Speaker
I see you're familiar with the Dark Saba. But so Tommy uses it to knock down this dumpster and it crushes the goopsters and we're done. Yeah. The goop troop is out. And if ah luckily they did it right on time because as soon as they crushed the goop troop, they lose their powers because the command center has been destroyed. So they go back, they find Zordon. Oh, they're not doing very well, which this is like the middle of a city they're in. And this building that they're in is in the middle of the desert. Yeah, Derek, you'd be like, great. Now we have to walk our teleporters. They got to run all the way out there. I keep doing. the right line I keep doing the Ray Romano voice because I don't know what Zordon sounds like. Romano sounds good. um Well, in the other Brian Cranston played Zordon. I don't have a good Brian Cranston. So Romano works. Oh, it's the Rangers. It's a it's a famous building, apparently in California that's been used in multiple movies, but it's called.
00:54:44
Speaker
ah House of the Book, it's the American Jewish universities. It's on one of their campuses in Simi Valley. Oh, we just we saw we saw it was out in a movie another movie. It's pretty noticeable the angle where you would walk up to the door, not the shot they always use in this, which is like the opposite, which looks so inaccessible, yeah just desert in the back. There's no door. The other side, there's like a parking lot and sidewalk. I see the scene where they're like parking their Jeep and walking up the path to get in to prevent something from happening. Jurassic Park. Yeah, sure. It's not. Movies filmed at House of the Book, according to Movie Maps.org. Am I the one from Power Rangers? The Mentalist, Chuck, Star Trek Next Generation, Lawnmower Man. Oh, you know what? I think it was Chuck. Did you say Lawnmower Man? Yeah. Don't go anywhere for that. It was Chuck. That's what I'm remembering. This is a website so dumb because it just lists each different Power Rangers show. I'm like, you said Power Rangers. We got it. All Power Ranger properties heard. It's in tenacious D in the pick of destiny.
00:55:40
Speaker
Oh, OK. It's the the music museum. Yeah. So it's been in a bunch of movies. But anyway, they go there. Zordon's dying. So Alpha has to send them to this other planet. Fabios or Phaebios, Phaebios. Yeah, something with a pH. yeah So they can get a new power to save Zordon. sure All power. I checked out a whole bunch during this, because I'm like, well, you didn't care enough to write it. I'm not going to care enough to listen.
Ivanoos's Takeover and Mind Control Scheme
00:56:08
Speaker
Joke's on you. So at the same time, Ivanoo stages a coup, takes over the moon base. Rita repulses on the moon. I don't know if people know that. It's not common knowledge, but that's her local hangout. But he puts Rita and Zed into a snow globe, which is adorable. And that's when he hawks up a loogie and summons up the Tengu warriors. If anybody on Etsy can make this snow globe for my boy Derek. Seriously.
00:56:31
Speaker
ah Somebody on Etsy made it. All right. Let's find it. Let's give it like a month or two and it'll be popping up. Derek's birthday is November. Bleep's wife is my finder of things, dude. I will often send her on task and she's like, yeah, I got that. I only want it though if it's got like a button you can push and they're like, go Rangers, go Rangers. No, we just do that voice, dude. Okay. Go Rangers.
00:56:52
Speaker
So they go to Phaedos At the same time Ivan ooze is making ooze for some nefarious purpose. There's a lot of cutback and forth Yeah, he's giving out ooze to kids. He's rhyming the entire timing dressed as a wizard and do that he's ordering a blizzard Let's just do that and set it up. He makes the ooze gives it to kids It's because the kids parents are gonna touch it and it controls their parents minds It can only control parents' minds. All fun for kids. Or adults. Super dangerous for adults. Yeah. There's a funny line when he's doing his rhyming stuff. I didn't get the first half of the rhyme. I just got the end because I overheard it while we were talking through this movie. Mostly. If your parents don't like it, throw it in their faces. I mean, he's just he's got a plan. Take this home to your places and if they don't like it, throw it in their face. That sounds right.
00:57:38
Speaker
Billie Nays Hayes here. fred Have you tried Ivan Ooze? And then Fred or Frank or whatever this little stupid kid's name is, who's barely in this movie, he's just like, he's the character for the kids watching to associate. Uh-huh, exactly. his You need to have a kid like overcome something and yeah prove that little kids aren't worthless. They are. well that what You are. You're supposed to be worthless. All it takes is belief in yourself or whatever they say I forget. I forgot already, and that was 10 minutes ago. Sorry, an hour ago. I was like, it's been an hour. His dad touches the ooze. Immediately. All the parents have touched it. Dude, some of these parents are in wild get-ups. Australia is weird. I love it. This lady is walking through looking like Madonna from an 80s video. She's got a blonde wig on. Sorry, I didn't mean to hard pee that. No, you're fine. Hard pee all you need to, man. Get it out. She's got this gnarly blonde wig, a rainbow tutu.
00:58:33
Speaker
black stockings and and some glitter shirts. She looks like a color version of an aha music video. Yes. She went to a rave. Nope. Yeah. and you know That's where she was last night. and She went to Deonanda. Thunder Deonanda, innit? Oh, that's men stripping. You see he he's using them for slave labor, even though he can summon up minions. Why doesn't he just do that? Yeah. And we've we've seen how slow they work when he pointed out more than one person not like just using their pickaxe, but nobody's hitting anything. Yeah. There's a guy in the back literally doing like an 80s dance of like a pickaxe thing, but he's not hitting anything. That's the sound of a man. You pointed out and people taking rocks out of an area and then another guy bringing a rock back and dropping worse conveyor. I don't know what you're trying to do, but it's counterproductive.
00:59:19
Speaker
Like, I feel like the direction for these actors was do stuff. Move. Don't stop moving. Do constructiony things. Do you have a wheelbarrow? Keep going. Wheelbarrow. Do a pickaxe? That's what I said, wheelbarrow. I know, I was just wheelbarrow it. Oh. Like, using it as a verb. You got a wheelbarrow? Wheelbarrow it. Go. You got a pickaxe? Pick it. Just do things. Yeah, I didn't even think about that, dude. Summon your fucking gloop glops. Yeah. they're They've got to save them because he can only gloop so much. No, I don't think he can. I think he's all got we got to wait like a good 10 to 15 minutes between gloops, dude. No, I think as soon as he wants it gloop, there it is. He's got it on the man. We could have got that for this. Whoever made whoop, there it is. Gloop, there it is. They're poor. Yeah, they'll be all over this. So meanwhile, back on whatever, Phobos. Phoebus. Back on Phobos. Isn't that a Star Wars planet?
01:00:08
Speaker
No, it's a real star field. It's a real moon of Mars and starfield. But yeah, because that's real. Yes. I mean, that's not real. that ah Anyway, I don't have time to experiment not have time to explain. I swear to God, it it was PHA B.U.S. Phoebus. Whatever it was. Who cares? Phineas. Phineas and Ferb. It was Furbius. That's the most terrifying planet. There's a bunch of Furbies running around. Oh.
01:00:37
Speaker
Oh, that's what Alpha Five is, dude, the fucking Fermi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I read a thing ah somewhere, apparently the actress in the Alpha Five costume, once it was all suited up and put on, literally couldn't breathe. So they had to use like a fish tank air pump to put up through the bottom to pump air in so she wouldn't pass out. Terrifying. Yeah, that's fun. so Also, Alpha 5 looks he was sleeker and sexier in this than they did in the TV show. ah This is ah Angel Gabriel here. How did you end up dying getting into heaven? I was working on ah a production and I died. there like like a big I love ah theaters. it Shakespeare? No, it wasn't Shakespeare. Oh, like a big movie. We were working with like Nick Cage.
01:01:21
Speaker
I was in the Power Rangers movie as Alpha 5. Alpha 5? You can get out. Are you going to do the aye aye aye? Because you can leave right now. You can do it for me. Say it. Well, I actually wasn't the... I wasn't the voice actor. I was just the body actor. You didn't do the aye aye ayes? No. Well, aye aye. I'm out of here. So back on Phobos, they arrive on the beach and the Tengu warriors arrive at the exact same time. So apparently these birds can fly through space just as fast as they can. I didn't even think about it. It's a kid's movie, but it's like, oh, they just got there the same time you fucking teleported. This isn't even in our solar system. No. Didn't they also come from the moon though? Because it wasn't me. They're only like 200,000 miles closer. Yeah, you still have to exit. First, you have to fly through space. You have to go multiple light years. And you have to breathe in space or hold your breath a long time. Well, they're gloopy, so. They are gloopy.
01:02:12
Speaker
But so they're fighting them and they're getting their asses kicked. ah Then the sexy lady arrives, Dulceo, played by Gabriel Fitzpatrick, who was in a bunch of stuff, but not anything that anyone would care about that I noticed. And
Behind-the-Scenes Actor Challenges and Trivia
01:02:27
Speaker
apparently they shot a bunch of scenes with and another actress, Mariska Hargitay. promise me you oh yeah i know cause this lady got pregnant or something i think is what i read and so she had to leave and they had risk a carga take come in and they shot a bunch of stuff with her and they were like this isn't working we're just going to wait for the other later other lady to stop being pregnant or maybe she got sick i don't know i think she got so maybe they cut out her
01:02:52
Speaker
Maybe they cut it down to like, here's what we have with her. Because they do have her as a barn owl quite a bit. Yeah. So maybe that was their, their thing. It's like, well, the Mariska Harketash, what is it? Harketay. God, Mariska Harketash, Mariska Heart Attack, maybe like that wasn't working. So they're just like, well, fuck it. Let's edit what we have and just anything that doesn't work will voice over with her as a barn owl. that work. So, you know, whenever you see like other people were considered, I don't know if that means they actually like were talking or if they were just like this person could work. We thought about them. But there were two actresses that I read about that were considered for dulcea besides ah nobody who was in this, um both of whom I would have liked to see in this costume, ah Jennifer Connolly and Denise Richards.
01:03:36
Speaker
Jennifer Connelly would have done it for me. Because Barnell. I don't know, man. Give you more Connelly. Look at these Richards in this costume, and I've never turned this movie off. I do. I love it. These Richards would work better for the out of- Not when she's speaking. That's what I'm saying. This girl's not a good actress. That's what I'm saying. It's so over the top, and she is so bad. Denise Richards is always just a little like sexy bad baby. That's who she is, dude. And that's not what I want for my if you're going to teach me how to do it. She's a brain surgeon. I need to know she is not a neuroscience. She she she's nothing. You want me to throw out a list of people who were considered or expressed interest in playing Ivan Ooz? Oh, please. Because Freeman kills it. So it's going to be hard to get past that. So Rowan Atkinson. Oh, Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean. Phil Collins. What? I remember. So you think when he was just summing up the creatures, he'd be like, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop. Please take me home. Tim Curry.
01:04:41
Speaker
Oh, yes, dude. Bob Hoskins, who may have been soured by his other performances and things like this. Yeah. so So back to your point, this means they offered it to him and he's like, I ain't doing that. Yeah. I don't need Wike. Dennis Hopper. Danny DeVito. But again, soured yeah on Dennis Hopper. Danny DeVito. Not tall enough. I'm fine with it. He's a blob. He didn't want to be another gloop. He already played the penguin. Yeah. Christopher Lloyd. Christopher Lloyd. It works. I think it could work. It works. And someone who the thing I was reading on, I think it was Wikipedia, literally said they expressed interest. So it wasn't even like we thought about this guy, Christopher Walken.
01:05:23
Speaker
All the ooze is among us. And don't forget about the fungus. I'm just trying to rhyme. There you go. And time. Imagine him doing now the whole rhyming scene. Like, that's great. Yeah. We've got some merchandise. It's like paradise. And you know, it's all so nice. when Take it back to your place if your kids don't if your parents don't like it. Throw it in their face. Face. I stored this uncomfortable tub of ooze. In my ass. Who's Zed? Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.
01:05:59
Speaker
Also, while they're on this planet, I saw one of the dumbest pieces of trivia, and I like to share it because it's so bad. All right. When the Rangers are on the planet Phaetos, I have it written down here, so. So wrong with you. There's a music cue that sounds very similar to Star Wars music, which is very ironic. John Williams did the music for Star Wars, and he also did the music for Raiders of the Lost Ark, which stars Paul Freeman, who is playing Ivan Oos. Shut up. He's so smart. You can't just make up trivia. it's someone They need to pay someone. Find a guy, pay him a lot of money. All he does is sit in a room and go through trivia and go delete. Dude, dude fucking Reddit's got moderators. Come on.
01:06:45
Speaker
You're telling me IMDB can't have a moderator? The problem is, if they hire one of these guys, they don't know. Like, oh, I'm i'm the guy who wrote all that stupid shit. I'm going to approve it. Uh-huh. Yeah. Just hire you. Approved. Oh, I don't want to do that. I'm going to read that trivia for a living. Oh, I already kind of do, but I don't make a living doing it. I do it for free. I mean, different. Right now it's passion. I guess that's how I do my show research, right? Yeah. I just go to work. What movies did you go through this week? Well, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, Super Mario Brothers, It Came From Outer Space, Casadilly Spell. These seem like a really weird selection. Yeah, yeah, I just chose randomly. When's the last time you watched something good?
01:07:25
Speaker
I watched Conan the Barbarian yesterday. I'm worried about you. That was today. No, today I watched Conan the Destroyer. That's bad. Yesterday I watched Conan the Barbarian. That's great. That's good. That's great. You know what though? Conan the Destroyer has three really great sequences in it. Okay. But they're all fights. But it's not this movie. No, it's not. But it kind of relates because the monster at the end. We need to get Whitney good at eye eye eye. And anytime we start doing this, I got to get back on track. The monster at the end of Conan the Destroyer looks exactly like a monster, but like a better version of a monster. It's that swampy goopy thing. Yeah. Yeah. It also is way more Lovecraftian than the butthole turtle from a cast of deadly spell, which is supposed to be Lovecraftian as fuck.
01:08:08
Speaker
But anyway, so she has these batons that she spins and they make a whistling noise and it scares away the birds. That's that. i So I scare the birds in my house. So she has to teach them to call upon the sacred animals of the Ninjetti to help. Not at first. She wants to fuck them up. but then they like They name drop Zordon. She's like, you you know Zordon? Yeah. Yeah. Huh? like I mean, I'm not going to say I know Zordon, but like we're pals. We went to the same high school. I was a year younger than him. Look, I bought him a gin yesterday. I'm 26. He's actually never paid me back. But so she gives them their stuff and then she has to do like.
01:08:48
Speaker
So she's wearing this costume, it's definitely a stripper outfit somewhere. like This has been worn by a stripper. I'm telling you, me and Princess Leia even more scantily clad. That was somewhat that was the note for this. was like I like the slave Leia costume, but what if we could almost see her vagina? What if it's all chain mail? Well, it's like vine stuff, it looks like. It's a vein mail. That sounds disgusting. I want to see you in it. That's what Z is wearing, dude.
01:09:16
Speaker
got good my vin marel You can clearly see my nuts. The only reason I mentioned her looking like a stripper is because the way that she gives them their ninja powers, sorry, Ninjetti powers. Ninjetti? Ninjetti. Is that she blows glitter at all of them. Uh-huh, stripper dandruff. Yeah. And so the yellow Ranger becomes the bear. I'm not going to go through why. Red Ranger becomes the a blue Ranger becomes the wolf. Pink Ranger becomes the crane. Black Ranger becomes the frog. And there was a big he's hopping out about it, too. Well, there's a big piece of trivia that said that ah Johnny Young Vash improvised that line because he thought the frog was fucking stupid.
01:09:55
Speaker
And turns out it is. It is, dude. And when she's explaining, she's like, you're this, because you're this. You're this, because this. Yeah, you're strong. Why am I the frog? And she gives, she's like, because you're the one I kiss and kissed him. It's like, I just had no other animals. I'm really sorry, dude. I'm not from your earth. I don't know any other. I knew these animals only. Falcon dope. He's okay with it because this lady just kissed him. Yeah. So he's like, ah ah Frogs not that bad. OK, I like the frog. And then the White Ranger is the Falcon because the White Ranger has always got to be the coolest. Yeah. Although I don't know if a tiger is cooler than a Tyrannosaurus Rex. A white tiger.
01:10:32
Speaker
yeah No, it's still a T-Rex dude. And then she turns into a barn owl and flies away. and yep It's because she's pregnant.
01:10:42
Speaker
I mean, when you have... Correct me if I'm wrong. okay You've been on booby sets and shit. Booby sets? movies I heard booby sets. The brain hears what it wants, dude. We are thinking about Dulcea. Double Dulcea. When you have somebody for a short amount of time, like they don't have that many scenes, don't you just bust out all the scenes right there? Yeah, well, I think like he was saying like she was doing it and then whatever happened, she got pregnant or injured. Like I said, same thing. And she got handicapped somehow. She got pregnant so she couldn't wear this outfit. And then they had to reshoot stuff with the other lady and they didn't like her. So I think they were just like, well, we got. Yeah, we couldn't. They hadn't planned on her only being there for X amount of time. OK.
01:11:24
Speaker
because she's like, guess what? I just tested positive for pregnancy. He got me for two months and that's it. This is not an easy thing to tell you, but I got an STD the last time we had sex. Yep. I'm pregnant. Yep. That's what my sister told me. as It's the only STD that lasts longer than AIDS. Yeah. Well. And herpes. I don't know Eric Clapton. I guess it depends on how long your kid lives. but Hold on. i'm Pretty sure Eric Clappan still has herpes and does not have a son. just I am. Worst people.
01:12:00
Speaker
That even made me go. Oh, I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't do it as good. We had to go back to the great. ah I had to talk about that first because we get back to Earth. Now the Tango warriors come back ah because it takes an afternoon. Yeah, it's it's most it's a quick little one one stop layover, dude. And and much like Tookie Tookie. Uh huh. So. but they get back and I had to talk about it because they're telling him how, oh yeah, we took care of we took care of everything, it's great. and He's like, oh yeah, what'd you do? Oh yeah, we did something to one of them. And then there's this one who sounds like yeah Jack Nicholson doing a John Wayne impression. yeah We threw one off the cliff and the other one into ravine.
01:12:42
Speaker
It's fucking wonderful. It is. It is. But then no more. it's like You got this other guy who's doing more like a, yeah we throw him off. kind of yeah the yeah Like he gets three more lines. It's like they had to they had to redub it, and they couldn't find anybody. So they just got an intern. And he's like, listen here, pilgrim. We threw him off a cliff. Christian Slater is walking by. yeah We threw one off a cliff. Ah, the other one into a ravine. yeah Oh my god, that was perfect. I love the pantomimes. You got to you got to slick your hair back. But he does. They do tell him the lady with the whistle sticks, whatever. And he knows.
01:13:19
Speaker
ah Ah, madam whistle sticks. Rolls off the tongue. We meet again. And he knows it's still Sia. And this is the first time we hear his plan, question mark. We don't really hear it. But he says my ectomorphicon machine must be ready by sundown. Yep, there it is. Whatever that means. So he somehow got buried here on Earth with 60,000 years ago. 6000. That it was six six thousand six thousand. Yeah, because he's talked about i have had back pain since the Renaissance. Oh, but either way, he got buried here. And so did his machines. Zordon Zordon stopped him. ah It's like I smited him down. Zordon does kind of sound like Ray Romano. It's like his brother's tall. It's like the the reboot movie.
01:14:07
Speaker
So where Zordon was like a ranger and then he came to Earth and he was fighting Rita or she was a ranger too and that I guess she was a green ranger. Yeah. But like all that stuff got buried when he got defeated. And so when he gets the kids he just has to like they have to like bring all the stuff out of the ground like the Zords and stuff. it's okay It's all buried underground. So, see, dinosaurs aren't real, oh but like the Bible would lead let tell you. But Ivan, the ooze is. Right. Dinosaurs aren't real. Dinosaur robots. That's a whole new conspiracy unlocked, dude. You heard of flat earth? Well, have I got a robot theory for you? So the things they're digging up are called Hornator and Scorpotron.
01:14:52
Speaker
Whoo, which I'm like, okay, I think I dated the first one. Well, I think I've dated the second one. It's a scorpion, right? hornaator Is an ant? It's a hornet. It's a hornet. It's a hornet because it's got hornets. But hornet torr doesn't make sense because it's a hornet ant. It's got an ant. It's just a hornet. It looks like an ant, but it's a hornet. The head is what was giving me the ant vibe. That's also a hornet. I thought I was combining it. It never flies, though, does it? Yeah, it does. How the fuck do you think he got up to the healing comet? It didn't fly until he took it over. That's once he took it over and put his ooze in it. Yeah. I'm going to put my ooze in you.
01:15:28
Speaker
in use right where you poo. Bob the bull. So meanwhile, on planet Phoenica Tron, Phineas, Ferbertron, Phineas, Ferbertron, they have to go to Cock Rock. Yes, they do have to do. There's literally a dick coming out of this planet. Hurry up before it erupts. Oh, it's all sticky. When they get there, there's a triceratops skeleton that comes to life in this. Despite like there being some dumb action, it's a pretty fucking cool scene. And I didn't comment because it looked good. It wasn't it was like it had some CG, but there's a practical dinosaur there. There's like a puppet dinosaur and there's stop motion.
01:16:06
Speaker
Yes. When Tommy is riding it like a Bronco. I like the stop motion over the CG. I was still having fun here. Yeah. And then and then he we talk about it like it's a disaster coming up. This is before I knew this is when I was still having fun. Still smiling. I was still young. We didn't know it was ahead of us. This was September 10th. September 10th. But yeah, so Tommy does a backflip lands on the Triceratops. Got a bone to pick I got a bone to pick with Oh, C1 out and the whole thing falls. And Jack is making fun of him for having two puns in one sentence. and And meanwhile, Rocky walks up and says, let's get out of here before he pulls himself together. You got three puns and two sentences. It is like hanging out with me when I'm drunk. Most of their dumb shit talking is like similar to the show which is what this stuff is too But like when in a minute here these rock creatures start attacking them theyre like come on Boulder breath How many times I've heard them say breath as an insult like they're fighting like a look come on lizard breath. Oh, yeah yeah Garbage monster oh garbage feather breath. Yeah, I'm like breath. I guess they're
01:17:24
Speaker
Hey, ass-bread. It's just a big dick monster. Oh, no, nobody else watched that movie. Never mind. What were you going to say? Bo is afraid. There's a giant dick creature. Definitely did not watch that. Yeah, you should watch it. It's a good movie. All right. I think the dick creature was fake. they they didn get Wait, no, no, no. You're telling me they didn't get a wild dick fucking dick monster? I'm talking about in the movie, I think he was hallucinating a giant dick creature with swollen balls. Good. I'm just really happy that you don't think there's like a Sasquatch-esque dick creature out there that we just haven't found yet. I guarantee you it's in Florida. I think it needs to be moist. It's in the ocean. it's Well, it's salty. You don't want to get too moist. That's how it gets shaved. No, that's why it's salty.
01:18:11
Speaker
You don't want to dry. You don't want to dry either. You got to find a good Ohio. Well, dead creatures come from Ohio. You heard it here. That's where but that I might have my family and his whole family. They haven't told you the legend of the dead creature. That was me. Welcome to this ah what this meeting of the Midnight Society. Tonight's tale is titled Legend of the tick creature the sequel is called tick creature comes again. Why is it? we get so dirty on children I think it's everything it's just i think i just notice it more because it's a kid Yeah, exactly, I mean we were talking about Nazis on airheads yeah, dude say my children wheels we're talking about poop a lot wow picture five though oh big shit follow and i've i've i do more than just pink sheet You got any that putty poop
01:19:02
Speaker
I'm here to get to some of that putty poop, some of that goopy poop. The one that you can't like, it just keeps wiping? It just keeps on wiping, wiping and wiping. I'm here to hose you down. I used to work with someone who has passed away. She would call, she called it crayon poops. Yep. Cause she's like, you keep wiping, but it just looks like someone's drawing on your toilet paper with a crayon. Oh, I love Jen. The everlasting wipe stopper. So they find the temple and there's these rock like creatures or these where they just look like carvings on the wall. These are the boneheads you retire. Oh, we do. We have watched the Power Rangers. We have watched Labyrinth. You know these things are coming out of the wall. And this fight is so stupid. They they activate their ninja powers, which is instead of getting a suit, you just put the mask over your face. Well, and they're already wearing the costume. Yeah. They just took the hood and the mask off. It's literally just that. They yell like, yellow bear, whatever. And like it cuts to the mask and the hooder on. I'm like, you could have just went bloop, bloop. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You didn't have to yell. Yeah, but they did. But they got magic. They had to yell. It's easier for putting it. If you yelled, it went up on its own. Yeah, it's easier for putting the hood up because if you put it up yourself, your hair gets all like crunched up in the back, you know, and it's really uncomfortable. You know what? Yeah. But if you get magic, it just goes whomp. Imagine putting this beard under a fucking mask.
01:20:19
Speaker
I can't wait. I can't imagine it. I can't imagine almost a year or so of it. Wait, hold on. Hold on. I'm not ready yet. My beard's all in my face. Hold on. Hold on. Hey, Goldar. Everybody knows who you are. Your beard's sticking out from underneath your ninja mask. You need a longer ninja mask. Your ninja mask has a beard. That's why none of them have facial hair, because with the masks, they would have the wave in their hair. Yeah, you would see. Like we all did. Like a fucking 70s bush and some panties. Fuck. So one of these guys gets cut in half and Billy has the great line. Talk about a splitting headache. It's a very, very TV show line. Elevator going up, and elevator coming down. Oh, God. And Tommy finishes off the fight with Ninjitti, corkscrew kick, because you have to yell out every move you're going to do. Yes. How does your body know what to do if you don't tell it out loud? Exactly. And it's so... I i know this is the Power Rangers, but it's so dumb.
01:21:11
Speaker
because he starts doing this flying like Lou Kang. You know it's bad when he gets to him. He's doing this flying like Lou Kang kick, right? Where he's like, you're improbably flying a long way. You're already doing that, yeah. And halfway through the flying, he starts spinning. What force did he use? There's nothing to push yourself off of. Well, again, if he yells it, then it starts turning him. He's using the Morphin Grid. That's where they get their powers from, you guys. That's the Morphin Grid. The Grid is just a whole, like, all... galactic wide it's kind of like the force well that's what he's in then that explains it i didn't realize i could use that for this too the grid yeah pretty much so they get inside the temple and they find a giant coin that looks a lot like the coins that they have in their morphers and it has all the the creatures on
Rangers' Transformation and Climactic Battle
01:22:00
Speaker
it and now they get their zords
01:22:02
Speaker
And they transform back into the regular Power Rangers. But now they have the new symbols on their chest. Uh-huh. And they teleport home. And this is the last time I had fun. sure It's the worst helmet ever. oh Yeah, no anytime you're hiding her. I'm not happy true, but her helmet just it's such a didn't look right Well, it's a tiny tiny mouth. They all have a smaller mouth hers is tiny and the rest of the helmets pretty enormous It's you know just looks like she's got just a little itty bitty face of the chunky cheeks. You wouldn't know one of the best things I'd which series was it it doesn't really doesn't matter, so I'm not gonna think about it. Please don't In one of the Power Rangers series, one of the Rangers was like a young kid, like like elementary school or or like middle school age. OK. But because they're using footage from the Japanese Super Sentai show, when they morphed, he was just as tall as everyone else. And no one ever tried to explain that. So the grid. Dude, the grid.
01:22:59
Speaker
ah So back on Earth, the ectomorphicons are completed. ah ah So they're just combining ectoplasm and morph, right? yeah yeah Because Ivan's ooze looks a lot like the slime from Ghostbusters 2. I just took a couple of sizzle words and threw them together. well like When they first opened the egg, I literally said out loud, It's a river of slime. So ah did you sleep with that toaster? Maybe. So hey the the the robots have been built. These parents dug this stuff up and built these robots in an afternoon, which is great. Yeah. um Very, very good workers. And he's trying to get that with my union. ah I'm tired of you. I'm tired of your faces. ah Go back to the construction site and leave to your doom. Just kill yourself. and Fucking. Yeah. And then Goldar in the back. Yeah, leap to your door. Then we get like four, three or four 90s things in a row. We get like an Austin LaVista baby. We get a Sia wouldn't want to be a. And I can't remember another generic woman. but I was like, good. We are just. See you later. I was literally about to say somebody. but he'll see Somebody hung outside of Spencer's just wrote down dialogue from little shithead teens. They didn't want to yell see you later, alligator, because they were afraid that would bring in the alligator ranger. and They did say it. I'm just. Wait.
01:24:18
Speaker
Was there an alligator ranger? No, I don't think so. All right. I didn't watch them all. Oh, mine and more from Power Rangers, man. Fucking hell. I picked up this gator. I souped it out myself. You know what? There might have been on Jungle Fury. I never watched that one.
01:24:33
Speaker
It gets so much dumber the longer we talk about it. I knew Derek was a nerd, and but damn. They just did a movie either last year or the year before, like ah well it like a short TV movie, like an hour long thing called Power Rangers Once and Always. And it has like all the original Rangers who were alive and wanted to show up. So Billy's 2006? How late is an annulment? How late is too late for an annulment? It's not like an abortion. You can do that any time you want. Can we still have an abortion? Well, if you've had sex, an annulment won't stand. And I think we have on audio that you guys have banged. You've both admitted to different sex acts.
01:25:14
Speaker
Oh, so he powers them with his ooze. Is this a deposition? Are you telling the court right now? He has to inject them with his ooze to get them going. I've got to get my ooze inside of you to stop. And it's these disgusting CG creatures. Don't forget what my my sister always said. One man's ooze is another man's lube. One man's cum is another man's ooze, dude. Yeah, there you go, baby. One man's cum is another man's ectoplasm. ah Ruining this kid's movie. This is even the grossest thing that happens. No. That comes up later. But these things, and I know we complain about CG a lot on this show, but this is the worst.
01:25:56
Speaker
This is the worst, this is some of the worst CG I've ever seen in my life period. And I made a fake earth and blew it up on my computer ah for a movie. Not yeah like just like for therapy. Not just something you did on Thursday. And it looked awful. It looked better than this. Yeah. And I did it with free software. Our bar is normally the end of spawn. Not the movie, the end of that movie, yeah where that is the low fucking bar. This is worse. This this is worse. this Yeah, that is shitting on this. Because the good thing about that is that it's all CG except for um Michael J. White. ah It's all CG. This is CG creatures trying to exist in a combination of a real world soundstage and like a miniature set. uha and it looks fucking terrible. It is some of the most stand out and not in a good way, standing out from its own fucking existence. yeah like It's horrendous. It's all shiny and brightly lit while the whole world around it is dark. the text this This texture does not exist anywhere. It should not exist anywhere. No.
01:26:58
Speaker
It's so much the bad. So the gloopy gross monsters go on a rampage in Angel Grove. They're destroying shit. Ivan Ooz is like, I smell teenagers again. Here comes the Power Rangers. Zips happen in and he yells. Inconceivable. I don't think that word means what you think it means. Why do you keep saying that? Hello, my name is Goldar. You killed my Rita. Prepare to die. ah So they obviously have to summon their Zords right away. They can't fight anything, right? Your little fucking people. Yeah, your little high school kids. So these Zords put that bottle of whiskey down. You have math class, Billy. And I had a false memory of the Zords being the real Zords just fighting CG monsters like the the either miniatures or suits. You wish so you fucking wish. but Yeah, it's not. It's more awful CG. It's like the concept CG of what the
01:27:59
Speaker
the miniatures were going to look like. And to pile on to this, like Derek had already said multiple times, like, you have these, these exist. You don't need to, like, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers was never known for being groundbreaking graphics. No. It was known for people like you that loved it to death. It's because it reminded you of a lot of those but Godzilla Gorgo actually for me. It was the other way around. Oh, okay. I found loving Godzilla and stuff because I loved the power interesting But I was also eight when the power, but I would say that makes you kind of the minority of Power Ranger fans Maybe yeah, maybe maybe I'm wrong. We were all kids so I mean I imagine but either way That's what it is. That's what it's supposed to be, is people in costumes moving over a fucking tiny little town and trashing it. This is egregious. Yeah, it's terrible. For nerds like me, there is a callback to the very first episode of Power Rangers in this when a Kimberly jumps into her crane zord, which is just stupid. It's a plane, by the way. It's a plane. Everything else is an actual animal. Hers is like an SR-71 painted pink.
01:29:05
Speaker
And the show, I think the neck went up, so it was like a small neck-shaped thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's a crane. But either way, when she jumps in, she goes, nice stereo. That's the first thing she said when she jumped into her pterodactyl.
01:29:20
Speaker
Silence. Yeah, she was she that's just awful. Everything all around. Don't try and tie it back. So this is when we kick in the song because we cut to real quick. but There's like a purple. It's an ooze party. Bubble rave going on at Ernie's, which by the way, the guy that plays Ernie, it was apparently in Australia during this entire thing and film scenes. They just didn't include any of them. Oh, so I mean, good for him. He got a vacation. We got to get it down to 90 minutes, dude. Yeah. But this is Ernie's, it's not anything like the Juice Bar slash Dojo that he has in the TV show. It's like a beach side thing. But either way, there's like a rave going on. And sorry, Whitney did the song. I did. It's by shampoo.
01:30:04
Speaker
I thought it was Olsen twins, do my entire life. What's the difference? I saw a picture of it. I couldn't tell you. I fucking got excited. Yeah, you did. We're in trouble. Something's come along and it's burst our bubble. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Derek's just singing along like he fucking knows it. I saw this movie a lot. Why? Because I was a kid. I had this album. Kids are stupid. That's the point of this whole month. I watched this. I watched this when it came out in theaters. And then I owned it on VHS. I knew I should never watch it again. No, I got it on VHS. I blacked out why. It wasn't even in like a slip VHS. It was in those big like soft clamshells. Clamshells. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So in 95, we were... What month did it come out? ah May? Probably June. May June. Okay. So we were about to be freshmen.
01:30:53
Speaker
um he was in like fifth grade yeah no i'm just saying like i you should have known better june 30th oh this came out right before my birthday was your birthday movie no that was shadow fifteen shadow was my birthday movie dude that disappointed me was that 95 or was it 94 I don't know because I'm on my birthday. Oh, OK. But yeah, ah my next note just says, dude, this CG is trash. I because I'm not writing down the action that's going on. No, watch the action if you want to watch it. There's a frog that has electric tongue. There's a crane that has thrusters. There's a fucking ape that jumps off buildings. It a bear doesn't even look like an ape. That's the worst one. This bear gets pumped.
01:31:34
Speaker
And I love it. I love it. Aisha is like, I'm going to do whatever I fucking some tough line and it stands up and like roars. And this thing just fucking bops that bear right. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Much like rampage right through that building. And fucking Dolce Gabbano had just been like, as she was Dulce, Dulce Gabbano. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like when she was giving him, she's like, you're the bear. You're unstoppable. You're a power. Oh, no, you just got punched right now. And you're done. And fucking Billy has the wolf and he's like, I'm powering up the hydraulic thrusters or whatever just to jump up and bite the scorpion. It's a kind of a not the best word. It's like a lean forward. Yeah. He does leave a little bit of this. I love his light. He's like, I got it. And I'm like, you're literally just being swung around and thrown across the city. Yeah, it actually didn't work out for him. Did he rip the tail off? He did rip the tail off. All right. All right. And it started powering down that way. So his hydraulics were the jaw. OK. I was thinking the jump.
01:32:31
Speaker
That's what I thought, too. And so right now when I realized like, oh, I get it, he was going through. I'm doing more work than they are. And there is a line that made me laugh and made me go, me too. When I was in the theater in 1995, Ivan Ooz is like, oh, great. Here comes that cute little pink ranger to ruin everything. And Goldar is like, you would think she's cute, too? Oh, yeah, she is cute. Yeah, dude, it's it's ah it's a fun line. Are you just doing Lemmy but like after a day of smoking a five packs of cigarettes? I guess I am. Oh yeah, she is cute. I was editor of the school magazine, Ace of Spades. You win some, you lose some, Rachel. That's the way I like it, baby. I don't want to serve Zen forever. So Tommy blows up Scorpotron. Come back from that. And then Ooz, this is what Ivan Ooz is like, that's it. I'm taking things into my own hands. So instead of Rita's classic, Make My Monsters Grow, where she throws her staff down, he turns into i don't know a tube of jizz, inserts himself into the hornet's asshole,
01:33:33
Speaker
And then it gloops into a giant, terrible CG Ivan ooze. That's part robot and part ooze man. And then it grows bigger. Did he say he's headlining his own tour? It's oozy ooze and black Sabbath. This is when the kids are more like they're connecting into the the big. Yeah, they turn into the ninja Megazord because it's not just the Megazord anymore. Ninja. We got to sell more toys, dude. Ninja Megazord power up. ah Shut up. And then Tommy can't be there because the kids that the kids leave the party. Yeah. Because Fred is like, we got to save our parents. Let's get on the monorail. Well, the It gets the track gets knocked out by one of these months. Luckily, so just the exact size of a robotic falcon. Well, luckily, this robotic falcon apparently has rails on the back because this monorail goes right over it. Yeah. Hit that smooth metal of this thing.
01:34:30
Speaker
Just all those kids are dead. You got dead kids everywhere, dude. and Better movie. Have the balls to kill a train full of kids every now and then. But when the Go-Go Power Rangers song kicks in. So does this is the part where I got goosebumps. I was like, this is embarrassing. I'm writing it down. Oh, it's embarrassing. I get goosebumps are weird. She starts singing along. Oh, yeah. Go-Go Power Rangers.
01:34:56
Speaker
i was like I was fully expecting a Louis CK. Just like, no, no, no. You stay here. I'm going to masturbate in front of you, Jack. Lock eyes at me. Look, just go, go Power Rangers. You mighty morphin' Power Rangers. Power Rangers. Anyway. I'm going to give you my ooze. So then we get one shot of a real, like they built a Ninja Megazord miniature. Yeah, they did. When it goes through the building. The building. Yeah, and they threw it through a building. Yeah. It's a miniature building and a miniature. So you had that there. You have it. So just do it. But 1995, it's got to be bigger and better because it's a movie. So we're going to make it CG. Well, that's one of those two things.
01:35:33
Speaker
bigger, better. You figure it out. I'm going to give you a spoiler alert. We had a love affair. that This isn't the only movie that does it. It just had overconfidence. And it was about this time up until like the early mid yesterday, like three or four, where it was like everything CG. Doesn't matter what it looks like. It's great. Yep. So. Oh, yeah. So they turn. So then the Falcon joins up with them and they become the Ninja Falcon Megazord. Oh, I didn't buy that attachment. ah No, I didn't. I was trying to think I was like, did I have that? I didn't have that. I don't know. Tommy was his favorite. They're probably expensive now. I'm sure they are. Especially if it's in an unopened box. You want to talk some crazy Star Wars shit. The Power Rangers things were less popular. You know how much more they probably cost now? I don't know. You get the fucking Kenner 1977 Princess Leia.
01:36:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that's but that's got an extra. Those toys came out about the same time these kids were born. If you can find the telescoping Vader Sabre 77, that's money. Yeah. There's one where it's him with it's the lightsaber telescopes in and out. That's worth so much money. I, I, I, I. Nice back. nice Nice bringing this back. yeah So they they fly to space ah because why not? They've got a plan. This comment that nobody has mentioned the entire fucking right. No, they did.
01:36:54
Speaker
at the Yeah. Oh, my God. The close up of his eyes in their little power station. Yeah. Cockpit. talk to it It's bad. It's bad. Oh, it's the parents are still slowly walking to the construction site. Leap to our doom. And the kids arrive and they're trying to stop them. But apparently children can't push adults.
01:37:36
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, tie a fucking rope or something. Just I've seen little shitty kids at the fucking store who've pushed their parents down the stairs, stairs at your store at the mall. Oh, there's no stairs in my mall. There's two side mall. I don't know that mall hashtag not my mall. But then Fred or whatever this kid's name is shows up with the fire hose thing. He blasts all the parents. It holds them back just long enough ah in space. They're taking his comment.
01:38:10
Speaker
ah He's he's got all right. He's locked on. yeah He's locked. up And is it yellow or pink? Yellow. ah Yellow. Yellow's like, well, there's a button that says, like, break in case of emergency and she elbows the glass. Like, what are you doing? She's taking care of business. Taking care of business. Hits it. This robot just knees Ivan right in his ooze. Yeah. Like, it gives him a knee to the nuts. He breaks away from him. Look, it's a 90s kids movie. You've got to have a nerd shot. We haven't had one yet. Yeah. And we probably should have. It was like a heavy like, don't. Imagine. me me Because I don't remember that age anymore. Imagine the theater full of children enjoying this movie. You're talking like a personal hell. Robot knees. Another robot man in the nuts. That theater erupted. I guarantee it. Laughter, cheering. I think it went to like a home.
01:38:58
Speaker
I was never a little boy, so I wouldn't know. But you are. I don't remember, because I wasn't there. But he crashes into this comet. The comet explodes, wipes out Earth, the movie ends. It looks like it wipes out Earth. This shockwave comes out of it, and then back on Earth, they show it, and the little skies are lit up. I'm like, everyone is dead. Well, figure that out later. Just right now, he's dead. Move on. And then that Aerosmith song kicks in. I don't want to close my thighs. That athlete comes back. My dad wants to touch my thing. Well, you don't want to close them? I don't want to close my thighs. Don't you? Your dad's trying to touch your thing. She's used to it. Wait, why is Liv Tyler singing? So the ragers go back to the command center, but they're too late. Zordon's dead. But then Tommy remembers those who possess great power or to those who have great responsibility. Anything is possible. Fuck Tommy and his beautiful eyelashes, by the way. Tommy does have some beauty fucking orbs. He's a pretty boy. Yeah.
01:39:54
Speaker
So they hold hands and Care Bears stare at Zordon's heart. And they resurrect Zordon's shocker. I feel a tingle. It's all coming back. And then they magically rewind the tape from earlier and all the stuff in the command center gets undestroyed. Look at that. It's all going back. And that's pretty much the end. They go. There's some fireworks. I've got the power is playing. The little kid says some shit. There's some sentimental stuff. You can do anything you want. I want to be a gold ranger.
01:40:26
Speaker
Which there is a gold ranger. Dude, da and Derek was like, oh my God, there is a gold one. Jason was the gold ranger at one point, but there was another guy whose name I can't remember who was also the friend. No, it wasn't. It was. it was fun And then we go straight from I've got the power to Van Halen's higher and higher. And that's the end of the movie. so you know more There's a stinger of Goldar sitting in Zed's throne. I'm the ruler. And Zed and Rita return. Uh oh, we're in trouble. And then the song kicks in.
01:40:59
Speaker
And that's the end of the movie. Now it's over. Yes, for now. ah No, it's over. No, there's there's no more. I mean, there's another Power Rangers movie, but it's not not this universe. Not related. Yeah. um So we'll go around the horn for recommendations. I'm very excited to hear what you guys have to say, Whitney. If you have a child, you should put this on for them. But other than that, I'm. Do you think a kid would watch it? Yeah. With all the live action people in the bad CG. Yeah. Kids are so used to CG. You control what your child watches is all I'm saying. Yeah. Not every child at four years old has their own tablet or cell phone. and
01:41:36
Speaker
All these kids are just like, there's no minions. So I'm just saying I would not watch this again. jack Oh, no, no, no. Do not know the CG. yeah All right. So they just like the if you want to torture somebody, put it on. That's it. No, I did like the beginning so much, but that CG is so fucking bad, I will never watch this again. Never. It is almost bad enough to make somebody watch it. Because if you've heard this episode, you've heard how much we hated the CG part of it. see him You're going to want to see how bad and see if we're overreacting. You can probably find it on YouTube. Exactly. exactly Other than that, do not spend money on this. There's no Jax caveats that made this better for me. No, we tried.
01:42:20
Speaker
Yeah, we definite we definitely tried. I'm still trying to get high. I just want to interject. If it didn't have the CG, it would have been a recommend. We were having fun in the beginning. Yeah, we were having a lot of fun. That's why we talk about it like it's a fucking I know you did last summer. So we were having a CG accident. ah OK, so have you got a light recommend? Of course, you do. If you grew up with the Power Rangers, if you like the Power Rangers, it's worth watching. The CG is terrible. The first 70 minutes are really ah surprisingly enjoyable. Yeah, I thought this whole thing was going to be cringe fest. I had a good time until the CG and it really does take you out. They have the miniatures. They have the suits. Just fucking do it. It's and it's inexcusable. Yeah, it's it's terrible.
01:43:05
Speaker
So that's hard. And then also it's not available streaming anywhere currently. It was on Netflix. That makes it a tougher recommend. Yeah. I mean, you can buy this Blu-ray from Shout Factory like I did. Yeah, you could. You could. You can rent it from us. You could. But yeah, so soft recommend, I guess. I don't know. So next week, we continue Shipbird Month with 1995's Man of the House. So that's that one. That's Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Chevy Chase. Chevy Chase. OK. There's two movies with dumb little kids. Yep. Richard Drifuss. That's Kippendorf's Tribe. Kippendorf's Tribe. and jungline Yeah. OK. So this is the one I wrote it down months ago. I was like, we're doing this movie. Yeah. So I forgot who was in it. So JTT and Chevy Chase. That'll be fun. Don't look up. If you're going to watch the movie beforehand for some reason, don't look up Man of the House with ah Tommy Lee Jones. That's much worse. Oh, he's a fucking U.S. Marshal protecting cheerleaders? Yes, cheerleaders. When did it seem like she liked that right now? I would watch that way over any Power Rangers ever again. Shut up. Shots fired.
01:44:12
Speaker
ah Yeah, don't forget to check out our patreon patreon dot.com slash worst people. It's only three dollars a month. This month's episode will be E.T., The Extra Terrestrial, which will tie into a movie we're doing later this month because they both star Henry Thomas, that little shitbird. Oh, yeah. Yeah. ah Thank you to Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. That's it for this episode. I've been ninja dork. Ninja dork. Yep, you know what? I'm keeping it. I've been ninja dork. I am still his wife. I'm Zordon, kind of. It's morphin' time. It's morphin' nominal.