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00:00:01
S1 Ep. 29: Be willing to believe you can; then prove it
51 Plays2 months ago
In this episode, I reflect on the meaningful parts of my previous life that I want to carry forward as I continue building my new one. I draw parallels between my experience running my first and only half-marathon and how life presents us with goals—leaving it up to us to achieve them.
I aim to remind you of the power of overcoming challenges that initially seem unachievable, how to push past self-doubt, stay motivated, and turn setbacks into successes. This episode is all about finding the strength to believe in yourself, focusing on changing what is within your control, and carrying the best parts of your past self into the new life you’re creating.
"It took a whole lot of yes, I will, and I don’t care."
Alexa play "Girl, Going Nowhere" by Ashley McBryde
Transcript
00:00:01
heatherdyann
Anybody that's become anything just had the willingness to believe that they could. Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here. There has been so much going on in my life that excites me, but has also been so overwhelming.
00:00:31
heatherdyann
And so although I recently got back from a trip to Salt Lake, I'm saving that a little for a little later. But I want to talk about something that is in my heart right now as I'm really trying to navigate the next steps in this wild mess.
00:00:55
heatherdyann
And I'm so happy you're ah all are here to go on this adventure with me because I know it's going to be a whirlwind of fun and excitement and challenges and all of the things that come with just wandering the wild mess of life.
00:01:11
heatherdyann
But recently, as I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and planning out my next steps and crazily, as many of you probably know, like the end of the year is approaching and it feels like it's absolutely flown by.
00:01:31
heatherdyann
So recently because it's cooled down a little in Tennessee. um I've been picking up running again, which is something that just really something that I used to do and it invoked like this.
00:01:47
heatherdyann
story that I thought would be a great one to share as I'm really just kind of reflecting on still my previous life and not so much dwelling but more like what parts of my previous life do I want to bring with me into this new one that I'm building.
00:02:11
heatherdyann
And I think there's parts of us that and I talked to a dear ah friend and listener of mine and he was talking about um what he was bringing from his divorce about himself to his now life without his wife. And that's an interesting concept because I think we, whenever we're with anyone, whether it was a marriage or relationship, maybe a job, there's a certain characteristics or attributes or things that you do because of your situation that aren't necessarily you or maybe you wouldn't choose to do. And when you part from that, you're like, Oh, was that me wanting to do that? Or was that my circumstance?
00:02:55
heatherdyann
So anyhow, I'm doing a similar self-reflection and thinking about what parts of my previous life do I want to continue to be part of my future life and the life that I'm building now.
00:03:12
heatherdyann
So running is one of them. So on a recent run, I'm thinking about this. And back in 2019, there was so much going on in my life and a lot of things that were completely out of my control. And if I'm honest, absolutely devastating. And I'm not ready to share those stories just yet. But it was a very challenging time in my life. And I felt like there was so much out of my control, which as someone who had always been so in control of things, very much organized with how everything was operating in my life. It was very difficult for me to not be able to just
00:04:07
heatherdyann
fix or create like do the things I wanted to do because a lot of those things were not within my control and that was very difficult for me.
00:04:20
heatherdyann
And so I had this idea that I wanted to do something that I could be in control of that I wanted to do to kind of distract from the fact that so much was going on my life that was out of my control. So I was like, I'm doing a half marathon. And at the time I had like ran, you know, a handful or more of five K's. I'd done a few 10 K's here and there, but I was not what I would call a runner.
00:04:49
heatherdyann
You know, I had ran, but I wouldn't call a runner and I had friends that I would have considered runners and I would never have classified myself that way. Well, I decide by myself. I mean, I'm just signing up for this half marathon and I'm going to do it.
00:05:08
heatherdyann
Well, little do I know, like, you know, you kind of actually have to train for that. So at the time I'm working for a large company and they have like a gym in our building and we have like a trainer and all the things, it was actually such a great, such a great time. But I had told the trainer that I was going to be running this half marathon and she was a runner.
00:05:30
heatherdyann
And so she was like, Oh, great. I can give you this whole like schedule. This is that what you should do. And I was like, perfect. Because, you know, I'm doing this thing and I want to be successful at it. So this experienced person gave me all the steps. It was 12 weeks, and I was running five times a week. And then I would be in a good pre like condition to be able to run this half marathon.
00:05:54
heatherdyann
And I realized like, as I'm talking to her, I realized this is not just something like you don't just go into a half marathon and think you're going to finish 13.1 miles if you don't train at all. Apparently some people do, and I don't think they can finish because it's just not 13.1 miles. You know, it's not something you just lightly run. So I'm like, Oh, great. I really actually have to like train and listen to what she's saying, or I'm not going to be successful.
00:06:21
heatherdyann
So she goes, All right, well, what's the time you were thinking? And me, I hadn't even really thought of a time I didn't even know what a good time was. So I just like said, I don't know, like under two hours. And she's like, Oh, yeah, that that's good. That's a good goal to have. So then I look up like under two hours, like after our conversation, and she hands me like the 12 week program. And I'm like,
00:06:46
heatherdyann
I have to average like a nine minute mile and I just barely started running. Like I wasn't really running under 10 minutes all the time, you know? And so I was like, wow, I'm going to really have to train. Like, I don't know. That was maybe I didn't mean to say under two hours, but I was like, I already said it. And the stubborn competitive me was like, Nope, you already told her. So we'll just figure it out as we go. So for the next,
00:07:14
heatherdyann
12 weeks I took this she actually printed it off. And this was 2019. So I mean, and I put it on the fridge at home. And I told my ex husband like I'm running this half marathon. This is when I have to run. I said I know it's not your responsibility.
00:07:32
heatherdyann
Don't make me feel bad if I want to skip, but like kind of look at me. So anyways, I put it on the fridge. And as I'm going through the weeks, you know, obviously it's always easier at the beginning of some goal that you have to. So now I have this goal in mind as something I can control. I already signed up for this half marathon, paid the money, told some people for accountability,
00:07:58
heatherdyann
told this trainer, I know she's going to ask me every time I'm at the gym. And now it's hanging on the fridge. Like you have to do it, Heather. I pretty much set myself up to like there's no other way. So as I'm like training, I'm crossing off the fridge and writing like my time. And you know, you know, the first few weeks of your just excitement, the adrenaline adrenaline, like this is my goal. It's pretty easy. But as I'm getting to like week five, I'm like, ah I got to run again and just trying to fit in runs between like working full time and cooking dinner and like all the things I just was all the excuses were in my head.
00:08:37
heatherdyann
But having that on the fridge and looking at it every day and knowing that like low key, my husband, like ex-husband knows that I said I was going to do this. And I was, I cannot complain about my life, about things I can't control because I can't control them and then try to do something I can control. And I, I'm not going to do that. Like Heather, this is within your control.
00:09:04
heatherdyann
So no one's to blame if you don't, you're not successful except for you. You have the plan. You know what you need to do is sitting here on the fridge. What is your excuse?
00:09:18
heatherdyann
So I kept doing my running and i I remember nights where I was just like, it was already 9 30 at night. And I'm like, am I really gonna go, you know, try to get in three miles and I'd be like, ah do I have to do a treadmill treadmill run, which three miles on a treadmill is awful. Really any more than two miles is awful because it's just boring.
00:09:42
heatherdyann
But I would do it and i would I remember like coming back and I'd kind of be like mark in the fridge and I could see my ex-husband in the corner of my eye kind of like.
00:09:53
heatherdyann
doing that, like I'm proud of you face without saying it. And one thing I just want to throw out there that, because when I first thought about this before I'm talking about it now, thankfully it kind of made me tear up because I realize there's people in your lives. Sometimes we want to hear things, but them showing us or seeing it in their eyes is almost, if not better than them telling you.
00:10:24
heatherdyann
And I wish, you know, I could go back in time and realize that a little bit more that I'm thankful that I had someone cheering me on with their eyes, looking at my accomplishment and me pushing myself and and knowing that they were proud. So I'm thankful that that was my experience.
00:10:51
heatherdyann
So I continue to train as I digress. I continue to train. I remember like towards the end, like it's becoming summer. So it's like even harder cause we're camping and things are going on. So I'm just getting these runs in five days a week, wherever I can. And as the miles get longer, it's even harder to find like, where am I going to run eight miles? Cause I'm not doing it on a treadmill. And so.
00:11:14
heatherdyann
Anyways, I do all this work. i I don't miss any. Sometimes I move the dates, like she had dates, but I ran the whole five days a week thing. And as it gets closer, I'm just like, I don't know if I can really do under two hours. I'd literally in my only told my ex-husband and the trainer. Like I didn't really, I was like, I kind of didn't know if I could do that.
00:11:37
heatherdyann
Well, anyways, race day comes or the weekend. I'm feeling good. I have this amazing playlist, which gave me life. Like literally I had stopped listening to music while I was running and I was just listening to podcasts so that I would be so pumped up to listen to my music on a run that it was like, you know what I mean? It was, I had this whole strategy music really. It's like, but it was great. So.
00:12:07
heatherdyann
It's day of i right my ex-husband drives me into like this spot to get on the bus at like 5am. It's in Provo, Utah. ah We go up the canyon. It's the American Fork Canyon um half. They had a full. And we're going up and I just remember like I didn't really feel good. And I had like a piece of like Ezekiel bread with peanut butter on it. And as as I was getting on the bus, it like fell on the ground. And it was like the only thing I had to eat.
00:12:37
heatherdyann
I was like two second rule and I like picked it up and ate it and it was just like a morning where I was like my stomach didn't feel good I just ate this peanut butter bread from the pavement and I just was like I don't even know what I'm doing up here like I should be pumped but I'm by myself you know I don't know anyone I end up talking to these people that were training for like but marathons because of the elevation, it was just a good run for them to like train themselves to run in it. So I, you know, I was trying to like, Oh my gosh, these people are runners. So here I am feeling the all of this, like, and what's the term people use, like, um,
00:13:21
heatherdyann
Why? Why can't I think of it? Imposter syndrome. There you go. Where you're almost like, I'm not a runner. What am I doing here? You know, you're watching these people and they look like they have it all together. These are runners. Like what am I doing up here at, you know, five 30 in the morning thinking I'm going to run 13.1 miles and you get in your head like that because you don't call yourself a runner and you don't think that you are so therefore it's just really feels awkward to do it.
00:13:54
heatherdyann
Well, obviously the race starts. I have this amazing playlist and it's go time. And I'm very much aware that sometimes when you just. Fools rush in, you know, you hurry up and you start just sprinting at the beginning. I like knew that I'd have to pace myself. The longest amount of miles I had ran up until this point in the training was 10.
00:14:18
heatherdyann
And so I knew that that took a lot out of me. So I was like, okay, we're gonna just pace ourself at the beginning. So as I'm running the race, I realized that like, probably about like six, seven miles in, I'm like, I'm kind of hurting. Like my knee is not great, my hip, the way that you're running on the road, because we're running down this like paved ah canyon road, um is just kind of like, it's not comfortable.
00:14:46
heatherdyann
But I'm just trying to like mentally block it out. And as much as there's moments where I'm like, okay, I just want to stop and walk for like one second, because I'm watching people start to do that even more. And I'm like, and these people are the runners, you know, and I'm not saying all but there's people I'm just thinking that. And so I'm going, okay, no, if you stop, you won't be able to pick up the momentum again, Heather, like you have to just keep running. There's just there's no way just keep running.
00:15:16
heatherdyann
the whole time. Like don't stop. And I realized like, and I'm telling you this story and I'm getting there, but this is really me trying to talk about anything in life that you're doing. It's just so much more mental because there's always going to be a million times that you'll want to stop doing it because it's not comfortable. And it's like, what do you want more to be comfortable for a short period of time and not achieve the goal?
00:15:46
heatherdyann
Or is your passion and drive to achieve the goal stronger? And that's like the constant decision that you're making in life and the whole time you're running this half marathon, or at least when I am. So I'm like, no, you got to keep going. If you stop, you won't be able to pick it back up. And then who knows if you'll even be able to finish. So I just keep running. So here we are at mile 10. At this point, the most I've ever ran. And I'm like, I have to run a whole other 5K. I'm exhausted. did
00:16:20
heatherdyann
I mean, my feet hurt, my hips hurt, my knee hurts. My music is great, but I'm just like, I don't, I have to, and I've ran enough 5Ks to be like, it's gonna take a minute. Like I'm i'm here, even if I run run it at a pretty decent pace, like, so I'm still probably like 25 minutes more of running, if that, you know, like at least, you know? So I'm like,
00:16:45
heatherdyann
Oh my gosh. And that's, that was my biggest challenge, which is crazy because I had run 10 miles thinking about it a little quitting a little bit or not quitting, but walking a little bit. But once I'm almost there, I'm only a 5k away is when I'm like, Oh my gosh, can I do this? But then I was like, you have to. Of course you can.
00:17:12
heatherdyann
because you said you could, you told everyone you could, you made a goal, so you can. And I just kept running. So as I'm finally seeing the end, lighten the tunnel, like I don't know how, it feels like a blur. I am like just super focused, but I can see my ex-husband in the corner, like thankful for him, for his support in this whole thing, by the way.
00:17:39
heatherdyann
But I see him and I'm like, Oh, and he's trying to give me a high five. But I just speed like this the last like, I just see the finish line. And I'm like, go time like that's it. And I'd start sprinting the only time I'd really sprinted within this whole race. Sprint. There I go.
00:17:58
heatherdyann
And they have like these mile markers, people that are holding signs to kind of like tell you your pace. And there was one that had the two hour one near me. So I'm kind of thinking like, I was after him. So I'm figuring that maybe I didn't make my goal. But at the time, I'm just so proud of myself for finishing and running the whole time, that I'm just like, okay, Heather, who cares? that and Now you're gonna have to run another one just to make time. Like if you didn't do it, like it's okay.
00:18:27
heatherdyann
So the final time comes in and I look at my card and it I had ran the race in one hour, 59 minutes and 58 seconds.
00:18:48
heatherdyann
That literally that difference of me sprinting at the end allowed me to accomplish my goal of under two hours. And I was a static and it was such this like, Oh my gosh, a feeling of like, I'm so proud of myself. Like more than 12 weeks ago, when I decided I was going to do this, I wouldn't even call myself a runner. I hadn't even ran more than like a 10 K and had been a while. Like I can't even believe I did this.
00:19:20
heatherdyann
And my two, bless their heart, my two friends that one was actually way more of a runner than me at the time. Like she didn't, and I don't blame them for this. They didn't know my goal. And they, so they were like surprising me to come up and see me at the finish line. Well, they like stopped for coffee because they didn't think I would be doing it in under two hours. So they like missed me coming across the finish line. So like even, you know what I mean? I even like,
00:19:49
heatherdyann
and And no, I mean, it just it I realized it was like such a good feeling to just do something that maybe other people weren't really thinking that you would be able to accomplish. And you did it. You wouldn't be that fast, you wouldn't be able to make it happen. Like not that they were looking down upon it, just that like, your belief in yourself was more than whatever else anyone else thought. And you did it.
00:20:17
heatherdyann
And so as I was on my run recently, this story came to me because I feel like in life so many times, we just don't really think we can do something for whatever reason, because I'm not a runner, or I'm not good at school, or I am not the greatest at this, or I don't want to put myself out there, or I've always just been this, or I, you know, whatever the excuses we make.
00:20:47
heatherdyann
We always do that. We put ourselves in this box. Like these are, this is what I can do, but yet is it, or is that just what we're we're comfortable saying? Like this is what I'm good at. So I'm just staying in this space. But like, how do you know you're not good at something else? If you don't try, I wasn't the most like runner athletic person in that race.
00:21:18
heatherdyann
but I finished in another or two hours because it was way more about my willingness and ability to mentally tell myself that I'm not going to quit and that that's what I'm going to do and I'm going to make it happen. And that mental strength is pretty much unmatched. Once you know what you want to do and you make a goal and then you get a plan,
00:21:47
heatherdyann
on how you can accomplish it. And then once you're at plan set in stone, you go, okay, now I'm going to execute the plan and I'm going to stick to it even when I don't want to do it. And then you do it. And then you show up and you don't quit until you accomplish the goal.
00:22:08
heatherdyann
And I broke it down for myself before I'm telling you all this story. And I thought, it's really not that hard. It's more about whether you believe you can do it and how much you want it.
00:22:24
heatherdyann
Like there's some things that we're like, well, I'm never going to do that because you just don't want to. It's not a goal of yours, right? But when things cross your mind that are a goal of yours, the only thing stopping you from achieving that goal is making a plan and just doing it until it happens.
00:22:51
heatherdyann
And we all have different things. That's what's interesting about it. You know, and that's why I think it's so important to realize that like, different things are placed on our hearts, because we all have not everyone wants to run a half marathon. And I probably am talking about this so much. You're like, it's kind of like one of those stories where like, if you're vegan, you'll know if you do CrossFit, you'll know if you went abroad during you know, for a semester, you'll know, <unk> like,
00:23:17
heatherdyann
um I probably bring it up enough, you know, but it's something you're kind of just like, yeah. But I think in life, there's just so many of those things where if it's a goal, if it's on your heart, and you really want it to happen, you can. Like I said in the beginning, anybody that becomes anything, they just had the willingness to believe they could be. I believed somehow, someway, I could be a runner that could finish a half in under two hours. And I did it. And I feel like I better bring in a song here because this song always, whenever I'm thinking about my goals and my dreams, there's a song by Ashley McBride that says, um, called girl going nowhere. And she has a line that says, took a whole lot of yes, I wills and I don't cares.
00:24:15
heatherdyann
life gives you those where you have a goal or a dream and there's people around you that may not see you that way. They may not see you as someone that can achieve that, or they may doubt that that's achievable because in their mind it's not achievable for them. And it's hard to quiet that noise.
00:24:41
heatherdyann
from the outside and just go, no, I can, I can, I can do it. You know, and in the song it talks about the road you're on just wines and wines, spinning your wheels, wasting your time.
00:24:59
heatherdyann
And so sometimes I think when you have a dream and it seems so big, people think that's almost like a waste of your time or you're just, you're trying to do something that like not a lot of people can achieve. And I don't know how you're going to do that. Like whatever, but that noise, it's like, if you truly know that anything that you really want to do, you can accomplish.
00:25:27
heatherdyann
Like I absolutely believe that in myself and for anyone that believes it in themselves. But I think it's just so easy at that 10 miles, even once you've gotten that far to quit.
00:25:46
heatherdyann
Or it's easier sometimes just to talk about it and not do it, to complain about it and not change, to wonder, but not act.
00:25:59
heatherdyann
I'll tell you one last little story before I wrap this up. um A dear friend of mine in Nashville, one of the first guys I met out here and still a great friend of mine, when I decided I was going to start this podcast.
00:26:15
heatherdyann
I was so stoked about it. And I had this whole vision. But I would talk about it and one night after a night out in Nashville, I'm with my buddy and I'm talking about it. And he looks at me and he goes, Heather, I don't want to hear about it again until you do it. I don't want to hear you talk about your podcast until you have it.
00:26:42
heatherdyann
You can do it. I know you can. Where's the website? It takes five seconds. Set up the website. Do the things.
00:26:55
heatherdyann
He believed in me and knew I could do it and I wanted to, but I wasn't taking the actions. I was just talking about it.
00:27:06
heatherdyann
And it was that wake up call that I needed to be like, you're right. And even though I wasn't being negative, like, Oh, I want to start this podcast, but I don't know how, you know, a lot of people, there's either one or two ways. Either you just talk about something you really want to do, but then you take no action or you talk about something you want to change, but then you take no action. So like, Oh, I can't change my life because of this and this and this and this. And it's like, no one wants to hear your complaint about it. Either change it or let it be.
00:27:34
heatherdyann
And that's how he felt about my main podcast. Start it or stop talking about it. And not because he didn't want to hear about it. It's because literally like, great. So when are you going to do it?
00:27:49
heatherdyann
I needed that wake up call. I think we all need that someone to check us sometimes in life, which is the great thing about partnerships, whether it's, you know, a friend that's just going to call you out on your life or, you know, a partner in life that's going to glare over and make sure you're holding those goals that you have in your heart to yourself. You're running those miles like you want to, you know, you want to.
00:28:17
heatherdyann
You know, just knowing they're watching you.
00:28:23
heatherdyann
It helps. It's a motivator because not only do you not want to let yourself down, you start realizing that you don't want to let people you care about down either.
00:28:40
heatherdyann
So I will end this by a really cute letter that I just received in the mail and short and sweet, but I want to call out um my aunt because she listens to the podcast and I needed to hear this today when I'm, I'm just on a really high of high, super motivated and excited for everything ahead.
00:29:02
heatherdyann
and she sends me a note and ah it's basically, I'll just leave a short piece of it, but it says, Dear Heather, safe travels to you. You are such an adventurer. I remember when you were a tiny toddler, your dad and uncles would raise your arms and you and everyone would say, champion. I remember them telling this story, so that's what it sounded like.
00:29:27
heatherdyann
you're sir You certainly are a champion today. Keep learning and growing and sharing. Love, Aunt Wanda.
00:29:40
heatherdyann
I thank you for that. And I'm sharing this because everyone in my life that has helped push me or believe in me when I didn't know if I could believe in myself, like those are really the real MVPs in life. That's a big motivation for me to do things is when people tell me how much it helps them.
00:30:05
heatherdyann
And that's really why I'm doing this. So it's just so helpful to get that kind of feedback. And it only fuels my soul and the fire to just do even more things with this time I have on earth, the fun, the messy, the exciting, the lucrative, the, you know, wild and crazy, all of the things.
00:30:28
heatherdyann
um I'm just so excited of this next chapter, which again, I kind of talked about ending the season. This is going to be episode 29. I think we'll end on an even note one more and then kind of take us into a whole new place. But I um appreciate everyone here listening and
00:30:54
heatherdyann
I'll leave it on my last piece of the Ashley McBride song that says, where they said, I'd never be is exactly where I am. Don't listen to yourself doubting yourself or to anyone else that doesn't believe that you can achieve all of the things that you want to do.
00:31:22
heatherdyann
If you want them enough to do the work, they will be yours. You hold that key. There's nothing you can't have in life. No one's coming to save you. You don't have to wait for the perfect time or the perfect person or the perfect life. Like you'll be waiting forever. When you decide you want to do the thing and you're going to hold your feet to the fire,
00:31:52
heatherdyann
and you're gonna finish no matter what, it'll happen. It'll happen. You got this.
00:32:08
heatherdyann
Thank you for listening to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.