Transcript
heatherdyann: I accidentally spent almost my whole life making sure everyone else felt comfortable, only to realize I never felt comfortable the whole time. Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy that you're here. All right, I'm going to get into something that's really close to my heart right now and I think so much of ourselves we give to others. We invest in friendships and family and love and I'm realizing even more as I'm wandering this new world and wild mess that I'm in is that a lot of us we forget about loving ourselves and choosing ourselves
heatherdyann: And this doesn't really mean, I don't mean selfishly, like it's all about me. I think it's just realizing that our love for ourselves is the foundation of living our best life. Every single person on this planet
heatherdyann: deserves to know their worth and how important they are and to live their best life. But in the hustle and bustle of life and the pressures from society to do this and that and to care for everybody else, I think we forget how important it is to stop and say, what do I need and how am I feeling about myself and how am I speaking to myself and how am I helping myself be a better person?
heatherdyann: I think a lot of us, it becomes almost one either we feel like it's selfish, like we shouldn't put ourselves before others. I think there's also a lot of like in the space of men feeling like it's like, oh, I just got to be tough. I don't need to love myself. I'm just, you know, and there becomes this idea that that's not acceptable or something like that you can't. And then I also think it's just difficult to reflect and see your own value because you may have had experiences in your life where circumstances made you feel less than and you've held on to that. And so you might not even feel worthy of like, love from yourself.
heatherdyann: But what I would say and why I kind of want to go down this topic with y 'all today is that it is so really it's the key to all of life is finding out who you are and who you want to be and realizing who you are can continue to evolve and doesn't have to stay where it's always been. But what?
heatherdyann: Who are you? Who do you want to be? And how are you giving yourself what you need? How are you showing up for you? And so I'll kind of just talk about the power of self -love because I think that it's been the most critical thing about my ability to do a lot of the things that I've done is because I do
heatherdyann: understand my worth. And weirdly, that is hard for some people to appreciate. It kind of seems like, oh, that's great. But some people are very triggered by that it can kind of go one or two ways. And the more that I've invested time into just even learning more on this self discovery journey, I realized that the people that get kind of triggered by people who do love in themselves and have a high self worth is it triggers them because they want don't understand that they probably they do want to be there, but they can't get there.
heatherdyann: And I think when you gain self -love for yourself and you know your value, it's not about being better than anyone, but it's knowing how to keep people in your life that understand your value and appreciate where you're at in your journey.
heatherdyann: because the wrong people will not respect or, or not seemingly respect that about you because that makes them feel uncomfortable if they don't believe in that in themselves. And I think oftentimes and why I'm kind of bringing this up is in this new world that I'm in single, I have a lot more,
heatherdyann: I have a lot more idle time in thinking cause it's my life is, it's very busy, but not on the same scale. And I'm not just distracting with things as much as I was before. And now that I can kind of self reflect and I realize, you know, like I've brought up before, I have a lot of people that are single in my life. So I see how they're seeking relationships and it seems as if If we don't first find self -love or at least work towards getting there to a good place, then it's going to be hard because we'll become dependent on someone else to give us love.
heatherdyann: And that is probably just like a continual
heatherdyann: I'll say this, it can remember when, well, hopefully you had an opportunity to be bored as a kid. A lot of people aren't bored anymore. There's so much that's available at the tip of your fingertips all the time. So many distractions. It's like instant gratification is everywhere in our world. But when you just had an opportunity or when you ever get an opportunity to just be bored per se with nothing to do.
heatherdyann: You kind of like have to sit in your own. And that's when you learn like if you can do that, can you sit in your own and be just content and happy in your own company for any amount of time?
heatherdyann: And if, and I don't mean like sit at home with all these distractions, right? I mean, just sitting here bored, like not like you're not all drunk. You're not watching Netflix. You're not like texting. You're not, you know, just literally like, you know, even not meditating, just sitting there.
heatherdyann: And just kind of reflecting, I think like that's like a really hard fe thing for people to do because you have, you only have yourself and you have to actually like think about yourself. And in this whole process, I've gotten to do that a lot. And what I learned is like most people don't want to sit in that with themselves.
heatherdyann: because it's giving them a perspective or feelings that they don't want to feel. And I hate that.
heatherdyann: And if you know me, you know, I'm always one to ask a ton of questions. Um, I love to get to know humans and their minds. And one of the things that made me feel so inclined to talk about this today. And I just feel like I'm hope that you hear this and you're feeling something more because I want you to ask yourself the next time you're like, when have I really just like told myself, Hey, I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm giving you compassion.
heatherdyann: Like I've been through some things and I came out all right. I think it feels sometimes awkward for us to give ourselves that hype, but we absolutely deserve it. All of us do. There's not like a single person. And I realize when I am talking to people and I kind of learn about their lives, there are so many amazing people that I've spoken with.
heatherdyann: that have had circumstances in their life that have made them not know their worth. And it's crazy because of when I'm around these people, which is unfortunately a mass majority of people. Um, I would say more people than not, you know, are like kind of putting themselves down or, you know, and that happens a lot. Like I, I was reading one of the books I was reading, just think about this. You think you don't put yourself down, but it's even the small things. Like when you're, I just played golf again the other day.
heatherdyann: And I haven't I've only played twice since I've been out to from out of Utah. And I had my worst game ever. And I'm just like, What the heck is this? And I remember I took this shot and it was like one of my best shots of the of the whole round. And You know, my, when, you know, someone said like, well, that was, that was a good shot. And then I said, well, Oh, you know, I could have been better. I could have gotten more distance. So no matter what I was, even though I finally, out of all the things I was doing and I was playing horribly, I finally had like an actual good shot and I still put it down.
heatherdyann: I still found something wrong with it. And I think that's what sometimes we do in life, but we don't realize how over time that just impacts our confidence because when we are doing something good in our life and someone's like, Hey, great job. And we're like, Oh no, I should have done this. Oh, I should have done that. You never just accept the compliment and go, Hey, thanks man. That was cool. Or like, Hey, I appreciate that. Like I really tried.
heatherdyann: We have to like back -handedly say how we weren't good enough. And it seems like maybe just a small thing, but if you took that out of your life and just took the compliment, you would suddenly realize how much of a mindset shift that is.
heatherdyann: And so I think that when we really understand our worth, we can treat o o ourselves with compassion. So we're not hard on o o ourselves like that. We're thinking of ourselves differently. We can get a compliment. Someone can tell us we did something good and we don't have to like make it weird and say that we're not good enough. And I wish that more of us could do that. So what I'm, this episode is really about, in this journey, I've learned that I just have to take the compliment, that I don't have to make myself feel less adequate because of anything, because I'm worthy of all the great things just as I am. And so are you. And so are you.
heatherdyann: And I talked about this a little before, but I think oftentimes we let other people's actions dictate whether or not we're worthy of things. And we really have to remind ourselves that none of that has anything to do with our worth. Any outside actions.
heatherdyann: nothing to do with our worth. And it's like the quote, we all know this, but really think about this. Because if you do, you realize that it's really just in our minds whether or not we let things impact us. And the quote is no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
heatherdyann: So when you feel like not good enough or less than, it's only you. You could say it was someone else making you feel that way, but you're you're feeling that way. And I think it's just so much easier a lot of times for us to blame external people or things or circumstances on why we feel certain ways.
heatherdyann: But at the end of the day, it's really up to us how we want to feel. Isn't that crazy? Like, I mean, it's not crazy, but it is. It is. And what I realized is that when we focus on what we can control, like we can't control what happens to us all the time, we can't control what other people do, but we can control how we respond.
heatherdyann: And just like I praise in this whole podcast, life isn't that serious. It does not really matter that much. I was listening to Max McCowan. Obviously he's kind of blowing up, but he has a lot more free. That song is amazing. I'm a little bit hurt, but a lot more free. Obviously that's been an anthem for anybody that's gone through anything in life. It's such a universal lyric. But he has another song called Dead Set. it's Dead Set, I'm living, living while I'm still alive. And that's kind of become my feeling right now is that like, you get this one trip around the sun. This one and we all don't know. It's the only right our time is the only currency that we don't know when it expires. We don't know how much time we have.
heatherdyann: And when I think about it, it's like, why would I ever waste any of my time, precious time, or any of the joy or love that I have for myself trying to like get upset about someone outside of me?
heatherdyann: that's only acting out of their own reality, whatever's going on in their life and they're projecting their things on me. And it just, it doesn't really matter. And then I was like, why would we even do that? And it brought me to this like place where I understood that the reason so many of us do that is because it's just easier. It's easier to blame others than to look within.
heatherdyann: It's easier to not fix what's broken. It's easier to just avoid heart emotions. And I think it's easier to just be how we've always been even to our own selves.
heatherdyann: But I just would hate To know I had 30 minutes left to live and I just spent the last two hours being upset about someone that I'll never see again after the 30 minutes is up.
heatherdyann: Right? Like you'll be like, really? I just, I, now I learned I only had 30, have 30 minutes left. I had two hours that I just wasted getting all upset about somebody.
heatherdyann: that doesn't even matter. And we do that so often. And it's it's a distraction or deflecting off what we know we need to do. And so if there's something that you know you need to be doing, or you want to be doing or you feel that you should be doing in your life, give yourself the chance.
heatherdyann: Don't stay in the cycle of not believing in yourself, not giving yourself credit for where credits do. And honestly, if I'm honest with you, credit is due for you every day you get up and get out of bed. Because for some people, that's hard some days.
heatherdyann: And the wild thing is, is that you've overcome everything that's ever happened to you. If you're here and you're listening to this, everything that's ever been thrown at you, you've been able to figure it out. But yet we get so worried that we're not going to figure out the next thing, but we have a pretty dang good track record. Don't we? Cause here we are. When I started this podcast, I still don't know what I'm doing, but I definitely didn't know how to start a podcast and I did it all by myself.
heatherdyann: It's a matter of how bad do you want it?
heatherdyann: And that's really the only differentiator for the people that have things that they want and the people that don't, is the ones that believe they can and they're deserving of them, they get those things.
heatherdyann: And if you don't think that you're going to get them and you don't think you deserve them, it's just not in your realm of possibilities in your mind. And so if you can't think it, it can't happen for you. That's what you need to remember. If you can't think it and see it and visualize it and feel it, it can't be.
heatherdyann: And so in this episode, although I haven't got really messy, I just felt really called to continue down this. You're worthy. You're absolutely worthy of all the things that you want.
heatherdyann: And everything that's in your life that is hard is just teaching you something that you need to learn. It's not doing anything else. Every setback is a stepping stone to the right direction. And we learn every different experience we have and we can grow from them. We don't have to stay stuck.
heatherdyann: And what you focus your attention on, that's where it flows. Everything in life, what you're focusing on is just going to continue to show up. So if you focus on how important you are, how worthy you are, how much compassion you get for yourself, how much gratitude you have for all of the things in your life, that is when life starts flowing in just such a magical way.
heatherdyann: such a magical way.
heatherdyann: And I guess before I wrap this up, I will tell you a story. And I know this sounds a little different, but I'm a big believer in your thoughts, create things. And I have manifested things in my life. And I feel like when I talk about that, it gets woo woo for people, but I just feel inclined to share So I'm in Nashville, and I'm at Whiskey Jam, which is a great just place to have up and coming artists love with me a whiskey jam. And they have these hats. I'm a big hat girl, love wearing hats. And I was like, I live in Nashville, I need a whiskey jam hat. I'm getting one tonight. So I'm there with my friends. And I like tell my buddy, I'm like, I'm getting a whiskey whiskey jam hat, like I need one.
heatherdyann: Again, it's just a hat, but I'm trying to give a small scale example of how this works. So he's like, okay, yeah, cool, whatever. So that night, they happened to be like giving away free hats, interestingly enough. And they're like, yeah, we're going to throw out some hats. I've been to whiskey jam before, and not calling them throwing out hats. So again, interesting.
heatherdyann: So I'm like, Oh, cool. So in my head, I'm like, I'm getting on, like, I'm, I'm gonna get a hat. So they throw out the hat, and it lands in the hands of the girl right next to me. This cute girl, I'd been talking to her, she just moved to Nashville, me and her were just carrying on like getting along. She's super cute. She catches the hat.
heatherdyann: And I look over and I just smile at her like, Oh my gosh, like, look at that. You got the hat. Like, so in my head, like at that moment, like I was so stoked for her. She's the cutest thing ever. I was like, get the hat girl. And I didn't have any like,
heatherdyann: jealousy or like, why didn't I get the hat? Like there was no thoughts like that. And I get it, it's a hat. But I'm saying, think about yourself in life. Sometimes we do that. We're like, why did they get it? You know, like people, that's an actual thought. But I didn't have that thought at all.
heatherdyann: And it's not good for her. And then I was like, I, and then I was like, I guess I'm just going to buy one because like, what are the likelihood, you know, that I'm going to get one because I'm standing right next to her. And they just, there's a huge crowd. Well, they're like, Oh, this is this limited edition one. They haven't, they go to throw another hat. It lands right in my hands. The girl right next to the girl that just got a hat.
heatherdyann: And I know it sounds crazy, but I believe, I truly believe like just when we give gratitude for things and we just lead with like love and and we're just not upset about things that we have no control over and can't change when we don't come with anger or jealousy, when we just kind of flow and know, well, I'll get a hat either way. Like it all works out. It does.
heatherdyann: And it was just one of those moments where it's like, I'm just being reminded that it all just falls into place how it should. Those are the kinds of signs that life gives you. And
heatherdyann: It was at that moment, I remember my buddy was, cause I had told him I was going to get a hat and he was like, I had a couple of my friends be like, you do, you do manifest stuff. And it's, it's just silly because I know people are like, well, but no, really. There's just so many stories I could tell in that space. And I want to share because I think like a lot of people think manifestation, like they don't understand, but it's really about mindset.
heatherdyann: And there is like neuroscience behind it. So it's not just this, you know, hippy dippy weird stuff. And so I just feel so inclined to share that if you can do anything for yourself, anything to make your life better.
heatherdyann: It's to give time and attention to loving yourself and working on your mindset because we're all going to have ups and downs in life. It's inevitable no matter what. It's just part of it. And so when those things come, the better our mindset is, the easier and more quickly we recover.
heatherdyann: from whatever comes our way. It's almost as if you're training, like you're training for a fight, right? Like ah you could just sit on the couch and then get in the ring and then you're probably gonna get beat down. Or you could train and prepare so that you know when the fight comes, you're going to be in the best place to fight through whatever comes at you and to recover on the other side.
heatherdyann: And it's helpful along the way. Even as you're training, you're building strength, you're growing, you're doing all of these other positive things for your mental and physical health. It's the same with your mind. When you're investing in your growth, you're setting yourself up to live the best possible life.
heatherdyann: So I will end this by saying, I read this today and I loved it. It said, today I learned about a term called life quake.
heatherdyann: A significant and unexpected shift and the trajectory of your life that initially feels devastating but has the beneficial outcome of catalyzing personal growth, transformation, and rebirth. That's spot on. Lifequakes, it's like you get knocked down, but then you like can jump up and recover better because you grew.
heatherdyann: If you can take a punch and get back up, we're all going to have a life quake or two.
heatherdyann: Or, I mean, who knows? And when we do, come out on the other side better when we decide to grow, when we allow ourselves to become even better. You deserve to be your absolute best self.
heatherdyann: At the end of the day, you becoming the best person you can be is just such an important part, I think, of why we're all here. Wandering a wild mess, giving purpose to our life and knowing how important we are, I think just allows us to show up as our best self.
heatherdyann: And we deserve to. You're absolutely loved. That's all you need to know. You should love yourself, but you're loved by me. There's a voice on the podcast and I am also always here for topics. So feel free to go to my website, wandering the wild mess .com. Ask me a question. There's a box. Send me a topic idea that you'd love to hear about. This is really about what can I bring
heatherdyann: for you. What do you want to hear me talk about to make you feel what you need to feel from this 30 minute episode you have with me? I want to make your life feel better. That's kind of the purpose that I feel like I have.
heatherdyann: I mean, like I said before right now, or maybe I mentioned this last thing I'll say is that I'm in this interesting place where I'm in this healing and sharing my light and wanting to motivate and really make people understand how important they are. And I'm just in this really positive energy there. And then I also have my like, I just want to be fun and live fast and do fun things and you know, still just be this like fun person that's just laughing my life away. And right now I am very grateful because I have a really perfect balance of that. And like I said before, all the right people come.
heatherdyann: So I'm very happy about where I'm at in my life right now. And being able to share this with you makes it that way. But I, we don't just have to fit in one box. We can be all the things and do all the things that we want to do. So remember that when you're thinking being this like hippy dippy healed person feels kind of weird. That doesn't have to be your only identity. I can be funny. I'm pretty funny. Not on this podcast, but I will be if someone comments on the website, that's what they'd like. You could just do a whole bit. All right. I'm going to leave you with this.
heatherdyann: Love yourself.
heatherdyann: You deserve it. You're worthy of it. That's what I want for you.
heatherdyann: Thank you for listening to Wandering the Wild Meth with Heather Morgan. You matter.
