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S1 Ep. 28: Gonna get there someday
45 Plays2 months ago
In this episode, I reflect on the years without my dad and the profound influence he had on my life. I share memories of my first visit to his hometown, the lessons I learned from his kindness and integrity, and how these have shaped the person I strive to become. I discuss the importance of allowing men to express their emotions, inspired by my father's experiences, and emphasize the value of love, compassion, and understanding in relationships.
This episode is a tribute to my father, who continues to inspire my journey toward becoming the best version of myself. I encourage you to reflect on who you want to be and to embrace your true self without judgment. Life is too short and not serious enough to be anything but happy! Even when you lose the best thing you ever had. Be grateful that you had it at all.
Alexa play "Gonna Get There Someday" by Dierks Bentley
Next in queue:
"Keeper of the Stars" by Tracy Byrd
"I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars —He sure knew what He was doing when He joined these two hearts."
Transcript
00:00:01
heatherdyann
who I want to be still seem so far away, but I know I'm going to get there someday. Welcome to wandering the wild mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy that you're here. I'm going to start this episode giving you a little story. Moving to Tennessee,
00:00:30
heatherdyann
allowed me to see fireflies in my backyard. And I'm reminded of my first trip to Illinois where my dad was from and seeing fireflies for the very first time. I thought, what are these? I'd only seen them in movies. And my younger self thought that they were absolutely wild, but I loved sitting on the porch to see them glow. My dad said fireflies reminded me or him of his childhood.
00:01:02
heatherdyann
I can remember little things about that trip to my dad's hometown of normal, Illinois. Strangely, like the fact that he picked French dressing for his salad at dinner out with my great aunt. And I've never even heard of that before at the time. So I found it odd. But then I chose French dressing when asked what dressing what I like.
00:01:32
heatherdyann
Such a small simple reminder that girls and their love for their dads sure is something else. And as I grew up, I learned that the way a woman loves a good man is also something else. I couldn't not dedicate an episode to the best man I ever knew. Friday, August 9th, was 15 years since losing him. It feels like a lifetime and yesterday all at the same time. And on a positive note, it reminds me why I want to be the person I'm trying to become because I want to make him proud, even though I know no matter what he is.
00:02:31
heatherdyann
He was so kind to a level that I can't even explain. He kept his word, could always be trusted, said what he meant, and meant what he said. He loved his family more than most people love their vices.
00:02:51
heatherdyann
And so when I give people grace and kindness that others question or don't understand, it's because I'm following his example. I don't even always know I'm doing it. And believe me, I'm far from perfect and far from my father, but I'm still his daughter. He understood everyone had a story and may need that one person to give them a smile or a compliment. And he definitely passed that on to me.
00:03:26
heatherdyann
Of course, I'm far for from as great as he was, but I aim to give people grace as much as I can. And I've loved being able to see other people's perspectives.
00:03:42
heatherdyann
Sometimes my curious mind thinks too much. Sometimes my curious mind wants to understand people the way that my father understood people, because I will never understand.
00:03:56
heatherdyann
One thing I learned from his life and him as a younger man is that he wasn't allowed to feel a lot of things or at least he didn't feel like he could. Growing up in a time when my World War II vet grandfather believed that children didn't need to ask questions and men didn't need to show emotions. My dad kept a lot of it to himself.
00:04:26
heatherdyann
He wasn't supposed to feel he was a man. And the irony of it is that men are humans and humans feel men should be allowed to feel. But my dad pushed a lot down until it almost broke him.
00:04:50
heatherdyann
but it didn't break him. It made him more kind and more compassionate and one of the best men that ever existed. And I promise you that's not an exaggeration. If you knew him or even just met him for a few moments, you would know.
00:05:11
heatherdyann
So as I continue on this path where who I am still seems so far away, a Dirk Spentley lyric from his song, gonna get there someday, which I've replayed and cried to far too many times since my dad's been gone. I have to thank him for my heart and for being the best father a girl could have ever asked for. him
00:05:43
heatherdyann
When I have smiles in my voice, it's not because he's gone, of course, but because he existed. My first example of a man was the greatest one, and I do not take that privilege lightly. I often think about how our prior experiences mold us and can somehow make us bitter to the world, to life, to love, and I don't want that.
00:06:15
heatherdyann
I want a clean slate to enjoy each new day as if the past never mattered and the future wasn't promised. What a freeing way to live your days. So as I look back at my gratitude for the man that loved me unconditionally, I also think how he had taught me to love.
00:06:40
heatherdyann
The men are protectors. They know how to hurt you, but the good ones won't. Not because they're perfect, but because breaking a good woman's spirit is the last thing a good man would want to do. And before you think to yourself, why is all this on the man? What about the what the woman brings? I agree. My mom loved my father immensely with all she had and all she was.
00:07:11
heatherdyann
A good woman, the kind that loves you. They're innately nurturing and loving. And women can add so much to a man's life if she shares her kind, loving feminine side with him. He needs a soft place to land. My mother gave my father that.
00:07:41
heatherdyann
And a man can bring so much happiness by appreciating it and taking care of her heart and trusting he can share his feelings with her without judgment. We all deserve someone that we can share our feelings with without judgment, that we can laugh with over the little things
00:08:11
heatherdyann
that we can dance with, or we can dance with in the kitchen, or we can have really hard emotions come through and have them listen or give us the advice we need. That's the beauty of letting people feel how they feel and without judgment.
00:08:39
heatherdyann
I never felt a moment of judgment by my dad.
00:08:48
heatherdyann
My mother never made him out to be anything but what he was. Our everything. He always looked to see from others people's perspectives and he made you feel so special.
00:09:05
heatherdyann
Life wasn't always easy, but he didn't make it hard. He could fix anything and he never left anything or anyone broken.
00:09:21
heatherdyann
As the daughter that misses him every day, who's now on her own in Tennessee, she sometimes reflects on how it'll be one day when the soul he wants me to find finds me and gives me all the things he gave me. I find peace in knowing he wouldn't have it any other way.
00:09:49
heatherdyann
It's not lost in me that not everyone can relate to this experience. If you still have on both your parents, your dad, a mother that you feel this way about, I'm so happy for you. I don't wish you to relate at all.
00:10:08
heatherdyann
And if you did have a different experience and your parents didn't provide this same love and care, I'm sorry, but I know you'll find it and you absolutely deserve it. I say all this to say is that sometimes the people we meet in our life completely change it for the better.
00:10:35
heatherdyann
And I was just fortunate that the person that changed mine for the better was my father.
00:10:47
heatherdyann
I had no choice but to dedicate this episode to the man who made me who I am because he's the reason for a lot of what I do and see in life. So I'll leave this short and sweet because it's very bittersweet to not have him for so long. Feels like a lifetime. But when you're thinking about your own life, who's your example? Who do you want to become?
00:11:29
heatherdyann
What legacy or what person do you want to be at the end?
00:11:35
heatherdyann
of it all. Now I know I'll surely be remembered for my curious mind, killer bar floor dance moves and say yes to whatever adventure ways, of course. um I mean, a few more things. I think my friends could add to that. But I hope my dad's big old smile will also be on the list.
00:12:06
heatherdyann
Because as much as I can get in my feels and think about things, I am absolutely happy every day.
00:12:26
heatherdyann
So I'll leave you with, what do you want to be? Who do you want to be? Write it down, determine what it takes to get there and become it. Don't suppress your feelings for a World War II vet that didn't know any better. Feel what you feel and be who you want to be.
00:12:54
heatherdyann
The right people and the ones that love you will accept you for just that.
00:13:03
heatherdyann
Life is just too short and not that serious. Be who you want to be.
00:13:18
heatherdyann
This was dedicated to my dad. I still miss you every day, but I know I'm going to get there someday.
00:13:32
heatherdyann
Thank you for listening to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.