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"Oh, You're from Utah? Let’s Talk About Growing Up Mormon"
19 Plays5 days ago
In this episode, I go into a bit of my personal story of growing up Mormon in Utah. I reflect on how my upbringing shaped who I am today, from my parents' strong Mormon roots to the values instilled in me growing up in a community where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was central. I share how this background, filled with love, family focus, and unique experiences, has influenced my perspective on life and relationships, even as I've moved away and encountered different perspectives. Join me as I explore the aspects of my Mormon upbringing and how it continues to resonate in my life.
Transcript
Introduction to 'Wandering the Wild Mess'
00:00:01
heatherdyann
Oh, you're from Utah? Are you Mormon? Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here.
Growing Up Mormon in Utah
00:00:17
heatherdyann
All right, I'm going to kind of finally talk about growing up Mormon.
00:00:24
heatherdyann
And of course, this is from my unique perspective, the way that I grew up, born and raised in Utah, and grew up with two parents who were married in the Salt Lake Temple, and both were Mormon and raised, me and my sister that way.
00:00:43
heatherdyann
And I thought this would be timely because there's so much going on. I guess with the Mormon talk, like mom talk, all that, like a lot of people have already asked me a lot, but I feel like even more people are curious about the religion. And so I thought I would share my unique experience within the church, just because I think it sometimes helps people understand why I am the way I am. it's been just one of those things that
00:01:16
heatherdyann
When I moved out of the state, like growing up and living there my whole life, like if you grew up there, even if you weren't raised in the church, as we say, you would still understand it enough because you were around it or you had friends or family that were in the church. It's pretty hard to find someone, at least when I was growing up, that didn't have some tick or tie to the church, the Mormon church that is when I say.
00:01:41
heatherdyann
growing up. So they knew and had some familiarity with it. No one was like, what's a Mormon, like back home. But now that I've moved out of the state, and I'm meeting people from all these other places, it's something that just gets people really curious.
Family Dynamics in Mormon Culture
00:01:57
heatherdyann
And I kind of just wanted to give a little of my perspective of what it was like growing up in the church, because I'll be honest, I don't have negative things to really say from my experience. And I kind of just want to share that in life, sometimes the way that we were raised can define us one way or another and I chose to kind of see it as a positive.
00:02:29
heatherdyann
But it was definitely different now that I've been out of it to realize that it was not everyone's experience to be brought up the way I did. I was. So growing up, you know, two parents loved each other, got married in the temple, all of the things. Normally Mormons have a lot of kids and I'm calling them Mormon because I know it's the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but
00:03:00
heatherdyann
I was the first born. My mom went to Ricks College, which is now BYU, Idaho, and she studied child development. I think her whole goal in life was just to be a mom and to have lots of kids. And that's very much Mormon way. My best friend growing up, her family had seven kids in their family. So it's not normal to have a lot of kids.
00:03:25
heatherdyann
And I was a first born and I think like my independence really came from not only being the first born, but probably my mom's mentality after having me like she had seven more on the way. And life happened and that didn't work out the way that she had planned. But I think that also gave me just a really good opportunity to not be coddled.
00:03:48
heatherdyann
Because I think she knew as much as they really poured all of themselves into me that they figured they'd have a lot more. And one thing that I realized, like looking back at old pictures in my childhood, it was one of those scenarios where growing up Mormon, your whole purpose is to really like grow your family and be great parents.
00:04:08
heatherdyann
and to love your children and do things for them and you bring them into this world to be good humans. And that's exactly what my parents did. And I'm not nodding like, oh my gosh, look at me. I'm this greatest human ever. I'm just saying that I was raised by two people that their whole purpose in life was to love and nurture me.
00:04:32
heatherdyann
And I didn't really realize until I started getting older and like really learning other people's lives that not everyone had that experience. Not everyone, parents saw them as a blessing instead of some people I hear, like feeling that they were somewhat of a burden. And I'll tell you that I'm so very thankful for my parents because there wasn't a moment in my life growing up that I felt like a burden.
00:05:00
heatherdyann
Even when I made mistakes, I was forgiven. And it was just, I was just, I'm very, very, very thankful. And when, if you know about the church, so you, you know, you don't drink alcohol, you don't even drink coffee. I mean, soda is questionable, but that's another story. We definitely drank soda, but my parents didn't have a coffee pot. They didn't drink. They didn't do anything else other than like provide for the family and
00:05:33
heatherdyann
do the things that we wanted to do. My mom was driving us to the haunted house, taking all our friends to the arcade, like whatever we wanted to do. I was just so lucky to have them.
Father's Conversion and Mission Decisions
00:05:48
heatherdyann
And I think that goes more than just the church. I think that's who they were as parents.
00:05:55
heatherdyann
My father actually converted to or got baptized the church after he converted when he was like 19 years old. So he grew up in Illinois and then my aunt had became Mormon and kind of like started talking the church to him and ended up converting one of my aunts, my dad, and also my grandparents, my father's parents.
00:06:20
heatherdyann
They went off to like have a couple's mission in England, so serving for the church. And my dad never went on a mission because he converted at 19 and you have to wait. And a mission if you don't know like ah ah a Mormon mission like they go off for a couple of years and basically knock on the doors if you haven't seen the white shirts and share the church in the gospel in hopes of giving that to others to then in turn convert as well or get baptized into the church and
00:06:57
heatherdyann
I remember growing up, so when there was missionaries that had to serve in Utah, which is always like, well, that's kind of weird, but I mean, there was still non-members. We would have them over for dinner because it's kind of like you're 19, then you go off and a lot of it's self-funded, sometimes the church helps. So members of the church would have missionaries over for dinner like on any given night.
00:07:22
heatherdyann
And I remember my mom would always make spaghetti. So we would just have these two random strangers, missionaries, you know, and I'm just a kid and they'd come to our house, the missionaries are coming for dinner. So they would just come over. We didn't know. They're just sitting at our table. They don't know us. And we're eating spaghetti. And my mom would make that every time because she's like, who doesn't like spaghetti and it's easy.
00:07:43
heatherdyann
So I was thinking about it one time and I'm probably at this time, like, I don't know, 10 years old. And I'm like, wait, so if I go on a mission, then I just have to go into random people's houses and like eat whatever they serve me. And she was like, yeah.
00:08:00
heatherdyann
And I was a picky eater already, but I'm also like a cleanly person in the sense that I was like, they could have any type of kitchen. And these are the 10-year-old minds. I don't know why I'm like this. But anyways, I pretty much made up my mind right then that I was not going on a mission. And sadly but truthfully, I had nothing to do with the church at that time.
Skepticism and Questioning Faith
00:08:20
heatherdyann
But I was like, I'm not just going around. and What if I get some country that I don't even want to eat?
00:08:26
heatherdyann
cockroaches or something. Like I'm literally thinking this as a 10 year old. So I was like, yeah, mommy gone on a mission. So it was kind of like the mentality though. If you don't go on a mission, like you wait, like you got to get married so that you don't as a girl, so you don't go on a mission. And a lot of this has evolved, but when I was younger, these are the thoughts I'm having. And this is kind of the way that I viewed it, at least from my vantage point. So I was like, great, I'm going to have to get married young. So I have to go on a mission and eat this food from these random people. Actual thought.
00:08:56
heatherdyann
But I learned like as I continued to go to church and I was baptized at eight years old and you know, it was a big deal that my dad could baptize me. Like I know I had like some friends where that wasn't the case. And so like just a lot of things I was just very, I don't know, grateful for my experience, but it took me a lot of time to reflect back.
00:09:22
heatherdyann
So what I'll say in the church, though, is obviously there's been a lot of things since as I've gotten older that kind of came out about the church's beliefs. And maybe they seem a little outlandish. But I remember kind of feeling that way a little bit when I was younger, like learning about Joseph Smith in the plates. And I remember like,
00:09:46
heatherdyann
Literally I'm in, you know, primary or, you know, one of the classes and I'm like, wait, so you're telling me. that there was like these golden plates in the middle of the woods and he just like dug them out. And I was just such a logical thinker even as a child that I feel like primary teachers are probably like, yeah, like stop asking questions. Like you're ruining the lesson for everyone else. But I was just like, this sounds a little strange. And I understand faith now, but as like a logical, you know, whatever year old I was, I was very like, I don't really get it.
00:10:23
heatherdyann
And so this whole time I'm in the church, I'm just continuing to go to church. And my parents were very like open, like they weren't forcefully making us go to church. They wanted it to be our choice as we got older.
Exploring Perspectives Outside the Church
00:10:35
heatherdyann
But I remember one time I didn't want to go and I was talking to my dad and I'm like, dad, I'm like supposed to like get a testimony.
00:10:47
heatherdyann
And a testimony is really about like a testimony of knowing the church is true. And on certain Sundays, we would bear our testimony and talk about that. Now, when I was younger, I always wanted to bear my testimony. I realized it's probably because I just wanted to get up in front of the congregation and like talk.
00:11:06
heatherdyann
Hence probably why I have a podcast. But then I started realizing like, what am I saying? Do I believe this? And I'm still fairly young at this point. And I say, dad, I'm waiting to know the Holy Spirit. Like I'm waiting to like, figure that out. Like, when am I going to know? Like, when is the Holy Spirit coming? And he's like, you'll just know. You'll just know. I can't tell you when. And I waited and waited and waited and I just, I didn't feel it.
00:11:42
heatherdyann
So I kind of distance myself a little from the church for a lot of reasons, even younger. I mean, I was still abiding by the rules, but I didn't have like a true belief or testimony because I had too many questions. I couldn't have answered for me.
00:12:03
heatherdyann
And I feel like sometimes it's hard when someone has just so much blind faith for them to like logically explain why a religion is true to them because they're just so fully believing in it that when you're logically thinking of it and faith is not involved, it's just like square peg round hole thing.
00:12:29
heatherdyann
So I kind of just did my own thing and, you know, separated a little bit, still had those beliefs. And I remember one of a boyfriend I had who had moved from Kansas and his family grew up Presbyterian. I remember him sharing his experience where he was saying he really liked the beliefs and the way that Mormon girls were, but they wouldn't really give him the time of day because he was Presbyterian and he wasn't that same way.
00:13:00
heatherdyann
And I was like, huh. And I realized that like, I was lucky in the sense that although I kind of had was honest with my parents that I wasn't sure in my belief in the church, they never really pushed it on me. And they never were the type to like force me to only surround myself with people who were either members of the church or their families were members of the church. It was really nice that I was able to just kind of stink and be who I was. And again, this is me reflecting back because at the time I'm not realizing how lucky I was for this experience, or how impactful this experience would be. But going through the motions looking back, it's like, Oh my gosh, it was so great to be able to see other people's perspectives. So I will say, as I was younger,
00:13:56
heatherdyann
when I made some questionable decisions, nothing even too out of the, you know, nothing too crazy. But I remember just the church put a lot in your ah ah mind that you didn't realize kind of would show up later. And this would be as simple as I remember being at one of my friend's houses growing up. And it was a friend that her dad drank beer and they had beer in the fridge.
00:14:26
heatherdyann
And I remember opening the fridge and seeing the beer, we were getting like, I don't know, Capri Suns or something. And there was beer and I was like, like it literally, and I hate even saying this, cause it's not like someone, my parents or the church didn't speak this to me, but in my like mind, I was like, that's disgusting. Who is drinking beer? It was like really this like,
00:14:53
heatherdyann
mindset where you're kind of like subconsciously thinking that that is like And so although we know like I was taught that we don't judge and I still like really liked her dad and was still friends with her. But the the unconscious bias came in, I guess, where I was kind of judging her dad without meaning to And that happened a lot. Like in life, I remember like in high school, I didn't drink. And when I did see people that drink drank and they would be a certain way, I would be like, I can't believe that I would never want to be that way. And this is me like not even really like going to church anymore or or practicing. It was just like this unconscious bias that I like just continue to have for a really long time about people that didn't
00:15:46
heatherdyann
grow up or operate the same way that I was used to.
Marriage Choices and Mormon Influence
00:15:51
heatherdyann
And so it was very interesting when I finally like got out of that shell and I drank for the first time when I was 21. And I did kind of feel like I was being this like rebel. And it was really weird to transition into a space where I was like doing something that I didn't really know why.
00:16:16
heatherdyann
And the guilt in making decisions against the church's beliefs was constant. But even though I didn't even really go to church or say I was Mormon, it was just like how I was brought up and it just felt wrong.
00:16:38
heatherdyann
Gosh, it's weird to even think about when I'm reflecting back because I think all of us probably have those things in our life that are just so much in our subconscious and things that we were taught. It's just so hard to change that. And we don't even know what put them there in the first place. Like I don't remember my parents ever saying once, like beer is disgusting and don't ever touch it or drink it. Like they didn't really they didn't really teach like that.
00:17:08
heatherdyann
And I remember when I did start drinking, they told me like, if you ever need a ride, just call us. Like they weren't going to judge me for anything.
00:17:19
heatherdyann
And. I remember telling my dad because he did want me part of the church, um, that I'm like, I just don't really like how the church, they're so judgmental. Like some of the people that I knew, I felt like they were judging my family for this or that, or just judge mental in general. And I felt like it was very like hypocritical because that wasn't what we were taught. And that wasn't who my family was.
00:17:50
heatherdyann
And my dad, I remember saying to me, unfortunately, like can't judge the church by its members.
00:17:59
heatherdyann
And that really reflects to anything in life. There's always going to be a ah ah collective of people that tie themselves to anything. And when we just judge a whole group based on a few experiences, we're kind of being unfair to what it is.
00:18:15
heatherdyann
But I still just, I took that and I understood what he said, but it still kind of had this sour like taste in my mouth. And so as I got a little older, I remember like meeting my ex-husband and we were young. And I remember one of the first questions he said was, do you want to get married in the temple?
00:18:37
heatherdyann
And I was like, dude, I'm not even like ready to get married. And I was like, I'm like 21, but I should have been that Mormon girl that was like, well, I gotta to married and have kids. But like, I was just.
00:18:51
heatherdyann
I just didn't know. I didn't know about the church. I didn't know about everything. And I just didn't feel called to be in that space. i was like, I'm not even trying to get married right now. And even him, you we evolved together and we didn't get married in the temple. We weren't practicing the things that we needed to do to be temple worthy, meaning to even get married in the temple. And so when we did make that decision to get married, or when he asked me, I mean, we knew, I think we both knew we weren't going to like suddenly just start going back to church so we could get married in the temple, even though I know that that is what my grandma, my mom's mom especially told me, if anything, could you get married in the temple?
00:19:39
heatherdyann
But I just, I couldn't because I wasn't living that way. And as much as I loved her and she loved me, I know she understood that we can't make our choices for other people. Looking back now, I realize that you're always going to be happier making the right choice for you instead of what other people would want. I don't doubt she now in heaven doesn't love me any less.
00:20:09
heatherdyann
for not making that choice. So because we grew up Mormon and we weren't going to get married in the temple, so that was going to be clear. We've talked about having just a wedding and a lot of people that don't get married in the temple will get married in like Mormon churches. I have been to so many Mormon church weddings that I can't even count, but We didn't want that. And so we decided on a castle in England and it's kind of crazy, but the church, like the Mormon are Mormon beliefs, like growing up kind of like geared this because he wanted a smaller wedding. I was kind of wanting, I have like a bigger extended family and I would want them all there. And we have, we had a ton of friends, but I was like, if we get married here with a whole bunch of people and he didn't want a whole bunch of people.
00:21:02
heatherdyann
then if we drink and have alcohol at the wedding, then our families are gonna feel weird. And if we don't drink, our friends are gonna be, if we don't have alcohol, our friends are gonna be bored out of their minds.
00:21:16
heatherdyann
So, and that was another thing that was like, I would never drink in front of my family. It's only up until a few years ago. Like one time I asked that moment was like, Heather, you're a grown woman. You can have some wine with your family. But it was just the thought of like making them feel uncomfortable.
00:21:34
heatherdyann
And I didn't want to do that because I remember how uncomfortable it was for me to open a fridge and see beer in it. And obviously that's long gone by now, but I know that if you're still in that mindset and belief, then it does feel a little uncomfortable. And I know we're not living our lives to make everyone else comfortable. Now I see that, but it doesn't hurt to care, to make people that you care about comfortable.
00:21:59
heatherdyann
So needless to say, we get married in England, just us in a castle.
00:22:08
heatherdyann
And one part of that had to do with the fact that my dad couldn't walk me down the aisle. And so I didn't really want a whole bunch of people to see me sad about that.
00:22:20
heatherdyann
So when I think about it, the church just influenced so many of my decisions in my life.
00:22:28
heatherdyann
And I think it continues to, when people ask me, I think they're expecting me to say that it was awful and that I hated it and that I did all these things, but I don't really see it as any of that.
00:22:42
heatherdyann
Me and my cousins were out at a bar the last few times we were in town or I was in town and we were having some drinks, a few of them that do drink in my family. And we were just talking about how lucky we are to have had a family like ours. Some of the kindest people I've ever met in my entire life, I get to call family.
00:23:10
heatherdyann
And I don't take that for granted for one moment. So although there's all this, I'm Mormon and there's some crazy stories and some crazy beliefs and some, I don't know, all of the things that people want to say. In my personal experience, growing up Mormon was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me.
00:23:37
heatherdyann
Yeah, I had to work through some unconscious bias. Yeah, the state isn't that diverse. And I don't 100% agree with all of those structures of the way of the church. But it's not really in my place to pass that judgment. I don't think I could have been at all the way that I am if I didn't experience that.
00:24:04
heatherdyann
I think back to like paying tithing. People ask about that if you know, and it's 10% of your income goes to the church and think the church has like 16 million members. It's operating like a pretty lucrative business and that's a lot of money.
Faith, Tithing, and Personal Beliefs
00:24:20
heatherdyann
But as I'm working through things in my life, I realized that money can do good too.
00:24:27
heatherdyann
And when I was, I remember my grandma just I used to, she taught Sunbeam with her and my grandpa and I, this is like when you're kid, it's like a Sunbeam class. And I would go with them to church on Sundays all the time. And they would let me join their class even though I was a few years older. And just seeing their love for teaching these children and getting to do things together, it was just beautiful.
00:24:54
heatherdyann
And I remember something happened when I was younger, like some, like some, just some burden to my grandma. And I was like thinking like, Oh, is everything going to be okay though, grandma? And she's like, of course I pay my tithing. So everything always works out. When you pay your tithing, everything works out for you. And I thought.
00:25:16
heatherdyann
giving 10% of your income every month, every paycheck, every dollar you get 10% off the top, that makes everything work out for you. It seemed like, well, sure, they're really selling you on that. But now that I'm older and I think about tithing, it was really just, she was paying 10% of her income.
00:25:42
heatherdyann
knowing that if she did or by having the faith to believe that if she did that, everything would work out for her. But it wasn't about the money. It was about the belief that everything would work out for her because of that, because she thought it would, it did.
00:26:02
heatherdyann
And so a lot of things made a lot more sense to me when it comes to faith than they ever had before. There's so often that I look back and go, Oh, that makes sense. Like the general teachings and the things, sometimes you can't just think everything works out without taking any action without really showing that you believe it will.
00:26:28
heatherdyann
Your faith is so strong when you're willing to say, I don't need this 10% of my income. The church needs it more than me, and it'll all work out for me if I pay it forward. And I don't mean the church needs it per se. Again, I think it's one of the wealthiest, but I mean it in the sense that the church will do good with it.
00:26:52
heatherdyann
And if you truly believe that, then it makes sense that it will work out for you. I know a lot of this may, you would wish maybe I could have more like dramatic stories and don't get me wrong. There are some things that are really, I realize are really different for me to work through because I grew up Mormon, especially meeting people that are not. And when it comes to,
00:27:22
heatherdyann
thinking about a relationship with someone who didn't grow up Mormon, like there are little things that I realized that I'm probably much different than a lot of women that they dated if they've never like dated a Mormon girl because we have like a, I mean, I don't know, I can't classify all of us, but I feel like I have some different feelings in general because of the way that I grew up. And I think sometimes too, it's like,
00:27:51
heatherdyann
Understanding, growing up Mormon, I know there's some feminists in there that are like, women need these and I know we can't hold the priesthood and there's all of those those conversations. But I do see, for me personally, the difference in what men and women provide to a marriage and what I saw in my parents and what I would want for myself.
00:28:21
heatherdyann
I do understand that you need to love and respect your partner in a way that I feel like I grew up seeing two loving parents that really loved each other, that would have never left each other. I saw my mom cooking and then my dad doing the dishes. I saw my mom give my dad a great level of respect and vice versa.
00:28:51
heatherdyann
I've tried to do just that in my marriage is why I never wanted to disrespect my ex-husband. Like that is the person that I'm picking to share my life with. And they do deserve my love and respect. And it's not this forceful like, Oh, you're the woman. You need to love and respect this man. It's like, no, it's a choice.
00:29:15
heatherdyann
I think sometimes we lose some of that.
00:29:19
heatherdyann
And I think it's foundational for a reason. And I don't want to go on a tangent and and about all that now. I'm just saying those are the kinds of things that made me think the way I did in growing up Mormon. There's a lot of beautiful pieces of the church, even if I, as a 10 year old, did not understand how golden plates were in the middle of the forest. But I don't have to understand everything in life. I've realized that and that I never will. And then everything will always make sense.
00:29:49
heatherdyann
But I remember asking, and I'll end this here as I rambled just about my upbringing as a Mormon girl. But I remember asking my grandpa because I pierced my nose.
00:30:03
heatherdyann
This is in my early 20s. And he was what happened there, you know, because another thing growing up Mormon like tattoos at the time when I was younger, especially were shined upon piercings outside of just your ears. It was your body's your temple.
00:30:20
heatherdyann
and you don't do those kinds of things. And it's gotten more lax over time like everything else and kind of like coming into the new age and times. But I remember thinking like even with tattoos, judge subconscious bias in my head just because of the way I grew up and the people I surrounded myself with in my family and so forth didn't have any tattoos. But when I did decide to pierce my nose, my grandpa called me out.
00:30:50
heatherdyann
And I remember saying, well, grandpa, what if you found out tomorrow that the church wasn't true? Would you have wanted to follow all those rules and live that way? Like would you still, if you knew it wasn't true, are you just doing it because you're.
00:31:08
heatherdyann
afraid that if it's not true, you won't go to heaven. Or if you don't listen, you won't go to heaven. And he said, Heather, even if I found out the church was not true tomorrow, I would still feel like this is the right way to live my life.
00:31:29
heatherdyann
So I think at the end of the day, if you're living your life the way you want to, And a church, your religion, whatever it is in your life, whatever you believe in just makes you better, a better person, you should just do it. And that kind of hit me because I think we don't do it for the reward. We do it because it's what we want
Acceptance of Diverse Beliefs
00:31:55
heatherdyann
to do. We feel like it's the right way to live.
00:31:59
heatherdyann
I love that. I love that idea. So the church, although it has messy things, although you're, you know, there's so many interesting things, right? I get it. Like being in church, even I was like, they're literally breaking up wonder bread under a cloth. And this isn't a dig. I'm just saying, thinking about logically sounds kind of weird.
00:32:25
heatherdyann
And I haven't taken the sacrament in a long time because I'm not worthy in those eyes. And I know some people see it differently. Like they say they're Mormon and they're not practicing a lot of the things, but it's all just like a personal choice. I don't think growing up Mormon made me weird. I think I was probably already kind of weird. I think if anything, it just made me
00:32:54
heatherdyann
I don't know. I don't know what it made me different. And it felt different. I didn't think it was so different until I left Utah. And now I feel very different in a lot of ways, but I wouldn't change it. And so when you hear all these crazy things and yes, I get asked, okay, fine. Let's just say it before it ends. Soaking.
00:33:20
heatherdyann
I'm not going to say much on that, but I will tell you that people ask me that all the time. And the mind of a younger Mormon trying to find ways from loopholes, like I, I'm just going to leave it at that because I have been on BYU's campus too late. An army crawled out of there with flashlights searching for me because I shouldn't have been at a guy's place. Yeah.
00:33:50
heatherdyann
So I get it. There's some rules that get bent. But at the end of the day, just like anything else in life, people find ways to kind of get around things. And especially when you're younger, you make choices, you stay where you might not want to be because you feel pressured to.
00:34:13
heatherdyann
But that's okay. It all works out. I have so many stories about the great man that my dad was. And he was probably, if the church could have had a poster child, I feel like it should have been him. Cause his belief was so strong in it. Uh, but he was like just such a kind of human. And I'll tell you,
00:34:40
heatherdyann
one last thing that kind of comes to my mind that I remember being sad about, but I'm not anymore. So the church really believes that if you are going to see your family again, right? So my parents were married in the temple, so we're all sealed so we can be in that afterlife in the heavens together. But obviously I haven't been practicing, but I would call myself a Christian now and I'm fine with just that.
00:35:10
heatherdyann
But after my dad passed away, my grandma said, she wrote me a letter, my mom's or my dad's mom and said, I really hope you go back to the church because if you don't, you're never going to see your dad again.
00:35:30
heatherdyann
And I remember reading that and being like, Wow, that's pretty blunt. Your granddaughter just lost her dad and you're guilting her into going back to the church so she can see him again. But I realized that she wasn't guilting me. She truly believes that. That's her belief. And she's not trying to say that to hurt me or
00:36:00
heatherdyann
probably not even guilt me. She just truly believes that. And she wants me to see my dad again.
00:36:05
heatherdyann
But I don't believe that's the only way I'll see my dad again. So I'm okay with ah just letting her have her belief. Letting her believe that I think sometimes in life, if we can just let people have their beliefs,
00:36:22
heatherdyann
without getting so angry that they don't align with ours, world would be a much calmer place.
Conclusion and Gratitude
00:36:32
heatherdyann
So the next time, I guess I'll wrap this up by saying the next time that you don't understand what someone else believes, it's okay. You don't have to. And you don't have to believe the way they do. We're all allowed to have our own beliefs.
00:36:52
heatherdyann
and we're allowed to change. I grew up Mormon thinking I believed all of it until I didn't. But that doesn't mean that I don't still appreciate the beliefs for what they are. I'm happy that I grew up Mormon. I have nothing bad to say about the church and my experience. I could think of things that still come up in my life, in my mind, in my heart because I grew up that way.
00:37:16
heatherdyann
But overall, I had a really good experience and the members of the church did a lot for my family, especially when my dad got sick. That's a story for another time. But this was the story of ah Mormon religion kind of grew me up, made me a lot of who I am, but isn't who I am anymore. But it still has a little piece of me.
00:37:44
heatherdyann
So whatever your journey is, you don't have to be what you always were, but you can appreciate things for what they were in your life. I almost said I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. See what sounds like I'm saying a prayer. Well, thank you so much for listening to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.